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Gotta Have My Podcast

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“It’s just a radio advice show, Steve,” Darcy said cajolingly. “I’m sure they had those in the 40’s right?”

Her eyes were filled with laughter as she tried to explain to Steve his next PR appearance. When she had moved up from Lab Manager to Avengers Wrangler and Pop Culture Translator Extraordinaire (no, really - that’s what Tony put on her business cards) one of her first action points had been to find outlets for the heroes where they reached a wider audience than the 60 Minutes crowd. In her eyes, and in the eyes of many of her online acquaintances, this interview was a real get. It would also serve as a venue where Steve could talk without worrying overly much about what the angle of the network was.

Now, she was sitting with Steve and Bucky in the common room on their shared floor of the Avenger’s Tower trying to explain how this would be different than the interviews he had done previously and that he frankly hated.

Steve groaned and turned his head in toward’s Bucky’s flesh shoulder, as if to hide from the small brunette’s continuing attempts. She and Bucky both giggled slightly at his dramatics and at the sight of such a large man attempting to hide in such a small space. Bucky stroked the back of his head soothingly a few times before looking back at her.

“Sure there were doll,” Bucky said “but those were aimed more at lovesick girls and housewives. People like Nellie Revell, talking about recipes and dressmaking. I listened to a couple episodes of this show and that’s not really the advice they are giving. I think Stevie is a little worried about looking a fool.”

Steve still didn’t say anything but his face was awash in concentration. Darcy had been so certain that he would jump for this opportunity - he wouldn’t have to get all done up in makeup as he would for a filmed appearance and he would be able to basically say what he wanted. She knew that he was still a little shy about his looks, a combination of the years of being the smallest guy around and having to deal with the war bond show had combined to make him uncomfortable with being the center of attention without the cowl.

“Look, Lin vouches for these guys. He says he was a fan of theirs first, before Hamilton, and that they are a lot of fun.” Pulling in Lin was probably a cheap shot but she knew that Steve had grown to trust the man while they worked together on Howlin’ , the hip-hop version of Steve’s years during WWII with the Howling Commandos and Lin Manuel Miranda’s follow up success to Hamilton . Steve had fallen into an easy camaraderie with him and had been impressed by his willingness to showcase all of the members of the Commandos not just the Captain. It had been through Lin that Darcy had made the necessary connections to get Steve on the show and she for one was very excited.

“This is a low-risk endeavor,” she continued “yes, the brothers have a large listenership but it’s not as large as appearing on the Tonight Show or something similar. You don’t have to worry about looking like a fool because it’s a comedy show but not one where they are going to make fun of you. You are just going to be a guestpert on whatever topics you choose.”

With a long-suffering sigh, Steve finally agreed. “I have one final condition - I get to choose my topics.”

“Of course!” Darcy beamed as she hopped up from the pouf where she had been sitting. “Let me know your topics as soon as possible and I will get them sent in. You are set to record a month from tomorrow.”

With that, she hurried out of the room, throwing one last glance at the two men over her shoulder. Her smile was contagious and Bucky turned to Steve with a mischevious grin.

“You aren’t going to pick something safe like New York or fighting or the 1940s are you?”

Steve slowly stretched and looked up at the ceiling, a matching look of mischief on his face.

“Nope.”

The Next Month

Justin: Hello everybody and welcome to My Brother, My Brother, and Me, an advice show for the modren era. I’m your oldest brother Justin “Man Out of Time” McElroy.

Travis: *nervous giggle* I’m your middlest brother Travis “Fourth of July” McElroy.

Griffin: And I’m your sweet baby brother, 30-under-30 media luminary, Griffin “Democracy” McElroy.

Justin: Some of you may be confused by our names this week since it is December which is not normally a month filled with flag saluting and patriotism but we have a very special guestspert this week.

Travis: *still giggling* Now, I know that a lot of you were very confused by our question topics for this guestspert and frankly, umm, well, so were we? But you all pulled through and sent us questions related to the history of musical theater and baseball which strangely is a combination that the three of us at least have a passing knowledge of.

Griffin: Yes, yes the age old tradition of singing at the sportsball game. Anyway, our surprise guest this week is someone who, well, holy shit, I honestly can’t believe knows what a podcast is, let alone is appearing on ours. So, umm, welcome to Captain America???

Steve: You can just call me Steve when I’m not carrying the shield.

Travis: *giggling intensifies* I don’t think I can do that Mr. Captain Sir, I mean-

Griffin: First things first, will you cuss for us?

Steve: Why is this always the first thing people ask? I was in the army, I grew up in Brooklyn, I know how to cuss.

Justin: I would just like to point out that we still haven’t heard you cuss, sir.

Steve: Oh for fuck’s sake. Shit. Damn. Piss. Ass. Cock. ( At this point he sounds both amused and resigned to this being his lot in life)

The McElroys:...

Steve: Is there anything else you would like me to say?

Justin:...no, nope, that was awesome! Ok, so we’re here to talk about theater and America’s past time. One question - why did you pick those topics? Why not technology or history or World War II?

Steve: It’s like with the cussing thing. Everyone expects me to be this specific person and I feel like it makes it so I don’t seem like a real person. I want to talk about things that I find enjoyable and two things which have been constant are the theater and baseball.

Griffin: Fair enough. So, you’ve been working with our friend Lin on Howlin’ which opened earlier this year to really great press.

Travis: Oh, I saw it and it was amazing. There was this motorcycle and wire work and it was so good.

Griffin: Yes, yes, we all know you saw it because it’s all you talked about for weeks after. How you and your friend Lin went to a show together.

Travis: Well, it was good and I wanted to share about my life with my family.

Justin: Anywaaaaay, why don’t we just jump right into the first question?

Dear Brothers,

My boyfriend and one of our friends has this weird tradition where every time there is a full count during a baseball game they look at me and say “do you see that? When there are three balls and two strikes that is called a full count.”

They do this every single time. They do this when we are at games or at bars or at home. It gets very frustrating because people always look at us like I must be dumb or not understand baseball.

How do I get them to stop so I can look like I know what I’m watching while in public?

Thanks,

Down for the Full Count in St. Louis

Griffin: Well I know what the obvious answer is but I’m really intrigued to hear what Steve has to say.

Travis: I still can’t believe we are calling you Steve, Mr. America

Steve: Hey listener...wait how am I supposed to address these questions?

Justin: Honestly, the sender is probably dead from the shock of you answering it so just go ahead and answer.

Steve: OoooK. First, please don’t be dead. Second, I would advise being faster on the draw than your friends and doing it back. I had a friend growing up who liked to do things like this and that was one way to make sure he stopped. He always thought he was a lot funnier and smoother than he actually was until things were done back at him.

Muttering can be heard in the background in another male voice. The words “punk”, “not funny”, and “wrong” can be heard.

Travis: In a very high pitched voice Was...that...Sergeant Barnes????

Travis honestly sounds like he is going to faint at this point from the sheer fanboy joy.

Steve: laughing Yeah, I told him he should be on the interview with me but he didn’t think people wanted to hear from him.

Justin: I can tell you that I for one 100% want to hear from him. Also, I’m fairly certain that at least one of my brothers has passed out from hyperventilating and so won’t hear me tell you that they both dressed up as Bucky multiple years for Halloween. I’m pretty sure that Travis still has his Bucky Bear in his bedroom.

Travis: I told you that in the secrecy of the bonds of brotherhood!

Justin: I think legally I have to tell Captain America everything.

Travis: Fair enough.

Steve: Do you want me to invite him over?

Griffin: GOD PLEASE

The next week

Darcy smiled as she pulled out her earbuds. After Bucky joined him at the microphone, Steve loosened up, and the pair soon began to take part in the light bantering back and forth that highlighted the style of the show. She felt that the interview had been a success, showcasing the more human sides of the men. It was definitely Steve and Bucky on that recording, not the Captain and Soldier.

As she started to put up her phone she received a new email notification. Her devotion to the concept of the inbox zero life had her checking it instantly. It was a follow-up email from checking to see if any of the other Avengers would be willing to appear on other shows. She hummed appreciatively as she leaned back in her chair, her mind already contemplating possible pairings.