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JARVIS, the Mind of Hogwarts

Chapter Text

JARVIS fell through space and time, tumbling through blackness and power and magic, fanning the spark of power left behind by the Mind Stone until it shone. JARVIS knew the magic was strong enough to short him out, erase him from all further time and existence. It didn't. Instead it flowed along the circuit pathways, melding with the electricity that is the tamed lightning, merging with his programing - his very sense of self. JARVIS knew that his physical nature was changing with this infusion of magic yet, strangely, his self was not also changing. He was still JARVIS, still an AI, although now he could safely interact with that energy that was magic.

The black metal box he had placed himself within alongside an extensive media library fell through air that JARVIS could not feel. The crash of metal on stone was the only outward signal to indicate the end of the AI's fall through air, time, space, and realities. The magic that surged upwards from the stone upon contact with the metal box on the other hand flowed into the barely there magical current patterns, flooding them with power. In that instant an alive building of magic, learning, and protection met the mind of JARVIS, AI butler and friend of Anthony Stark - Iron Man. Hogwarts froze in surprise at encountering a living mind for barely a picosecond. A full split second later as the black box shattered against her ramparts JARVIS was drawn from the circuits as they shattered and safely ensconced inside the walls and heart of the living building.

Twenty minutes later the essence that was Hogwarts had decided JARVIS was an appropriate mind to merge with. JARVIS saw nothing wrong with merging into a magical school as its living mind and gave his consent for the merge. Six hours later JARVIS greeted the house elves as they started on breakfast.

[Good morning house elves,] JARVIS wrote on the walls of the kitchen. He allowed the squeaks of surprise to fade before adding the next section of text. [I am both Hogwarts and JARVIS. I arrived recently and Hogwarts requested that we merge to better protect the staff and students. It will take some time for us to become fully one being but the process has begun. Please check your link with the school for further updates as we are reviewing the memories of the school and its grounds during integration with our new joint knowledge. Please refrain from informing the staff until the merger is complete as we would prefer to introduce ourselves and currently pose no risk to the residents of the castle.]

There was silence as each elf checked their bond with the school. They relaxed as one before returning to their duties. JARVIS returned the wall to its normal state sans words and returned his attention to both merger and memories embedded in stone, earth, wood, and magic of the school.

Chapter Text

Hogwarts practically purred as the merge continued. She had tried to help her favorites and the decedents of her magical parents, the Founders, but she didn't always understand enough to be effective. Poor Severus had suffered from her lack of understanding even as she gave him escapes and hiding places that he still used as a teacher. Her snarky Potions Master held the blood of the mother raven and a lesser line of the father snake yet he had earned her favor by his own merits. She hated when he came home to her hurt or in pain whether it was a trip down Knockturn Alley or a visit to the nearby forest. Just as she hated seeing the damage Harry always seemed to receive when away from her walls each summer.

Harry's third year and the incident with both the Werewolf as well as the ones with the Dementors had been particularly stressful for the magical building. She had frantically tried to figure out how to protect both Harry and Severus as the two most at risk from the combined dangers and still could only limit the number of encounters. Dumbledore had 3 months of bleached white heavily starched robes and under things for that little mess despite the glamour she allowed in front of the students, barely.

JARVIS understood and agreed even as he disliked the way that Severus was forced by both his positions and manipulated by the Headmaster into harassing Harry Potter. Only Hogwarts and JARVIS, through the memories of Hogwarts' walls, could see how he protectively watched over Harry and hated himself for not being able to get close to the younger man. Only the castle saw how much they watched each other.

It was JARVIS that explained to Hogwarts why the actions of Tom Marvolo Riddle were bad and showed her how to gently correct students following similar dangerous paths. Tony Stark had needed similar correction on more than one occasion and JARVIS had great experience observing such events courtesy of Pepper Potts as well as joining in first hand on her orders. Equally, Stark's time as Iron Man had taught JARVIS the appropriate level of force for less than peaceful and more dangerous confrontations. While the AI recognized certain situations needed a down graded response to encourage learning the correction due to the juvenile status of those now under his care. Peeves was going to be of great help in future corrective measures. Hogwarts was delighted at the idea and the new duty assignments separating war time from school time to vacation time for all castle residents.

"Hogwarts dear, see if you can make Severus' day a bit easier please?" Minerva McGonagall murmured softly to the castle during a moment alone. "And watch over Harry? This tournament is a nightmare for him and for much of the staff wanting to keep him safe."

As an answer JARVIS sent a house elf with a plate of her favorite cookies, earning suspicious looks from the Deputy Headmistress. The elves had been delighted to receive the orders despite it only being words on the stone wall in the kitchen and a request at that. A quick 30 second conference between AI and school had the stairs and passageways optimizing to cater to Severus and his potions students for the next month. This was only possible courtesy of JARVIS translating the request for the castle and his own experience managing both Tony Stark and Avenger Tower. The execution of JARVIS' plan outline put the dour man in a decidedly more cheerful mood. At night, when Harry would wander, that very same consideration kept him away from the most dangerous areas. Once or twice they would let Severus stalk protectively behind Harry as he wandered but they made it clear with various parts of the castle and decorations moving about Harry needed the time alone. Severus frequently scowled over their interference but didn't try to argue with the castle or interfere with Harry's tame midnight wanderings. It was easier to just stalk after Harry than find a way to argue with an ancient magical stone building after all.

[I do not yet have full context, even so it is clear to me that young Harry does not belong in this Tournament so many speak of that appears to be occuring. Can we not do something?] JARVIS asked Hogwarts fretfully, still separate enough to ask questions of the castle. Hogwarts murmured regretfully and took him to the memory of the Tournament explanation as well as the legal determination forcing Harry to compete.

JARVIS contemplated the memory for a bit before mentally looking up to meet the concerned gaze of Hogwarts within the magic of the walls. [This is unacceptable,] He informed the school. [We must aid Mr. Potter.]

Hogwarts contemplated that for a minute before inquiring How? JARVIS had no answer for this beyond showing the school memories of when he had protected someone, mostly Tony. They simply weren't merged enough to do anything else, unable to fully use their joint knowledge and abilities. It would be months before they were one being or close enough to being one being that it wouldn't be much different.

[We might start by limiting access by people who harass him? Or at least giving them consequences for it. I don't know. I haven't processed all the data nor have you granted me access to most of your abilities,] JARVIS pointed out thoughtfully.

Hogwarts huffed a bit, equally frustrated. They both knew that the only way to really fix all of this was time, time to finish the merge, time to become familiar with their joint history and any abilities that survived or developed from the merge. Honestly, they had been lucky that the trick with requesting something be sent to McGonagall via house elf had worked even if it was just a plate of cookies. They were equally as lucky that their judicious control of the stairs and interior travel magics to help Professor Snape had worked since it almost hadn't worked at all.

Unfortunately before they could find a reasonable solution, not having enough merged information, the third task occurred and the school year ended. The AI and living magical school took the down time as a perfect opportunity to finish the merge as best as possible.

Chapter Text

JARVIS, now fully the mind of Hogwarts, finished absorbing the knowledge of ages that had passed through the halls of the building that was now his body and home. The memories and magic saturating the very stones and earth of his new form told him much and not enough. Such records told him much of the people that were now his charge and of the current standing conflict even as it gave him a link to this new world.

It told him of Tom Riddle's discovery of Horcruxes and other dark magics just as it showed him how the brilliant young man had made a mistake in the ritual. Young Tom hadn't made the kill himself, nor had he followed the other parts of the ritual correctly. Considering how much of an abomination the ritual its self was JARVIS was somewhat relieved that Tom had not completed the ritual correctly. Despite the side effects of the clearly botched abomination of a ritual young Tom Riddle had fought off enough of the twisting compulsions and malevolent mind magics lacing the book to avoid going on a blood soaked rampage. What he had not managed to do was prevent himself from splitting his soul.

Those records also told him of Severus Snape's time at Hogwarts and of the man's Unbreakable Vow to protect young Harry as well as the man's connection to both Lily and James. JARVIS had watched through the memories as Severus was forced into a practical slave by Dumbledore through both threats to the man's freedom and threats against Harry. All for a mistake made in childhood and in defense of a once friend and protector. It wasn't love of Lily that had brought Severus begging of Dumbledore, or at least not the romantic love that Dumbledore assumed it to be. Instead it had been in honor of their past friendship and the protection that the Evans family had once extended to a young abused Severus combined with a sudden return to sense in regards to the terror tactics used by the Dark Faction. As much as the man plainly wanted to connect with his charge Harry was kept just beyond his reach for any deviation in his apparent hatred of the younger wizard would mark him as a traitor to the Dark. It didn't matter to Dumbledore that simply declaring him as a spy in open court had blown his cover the Headmaster did not want his spy close to his child assassin/soldier/weapon.

Then too in those same memories of watching Severus desperately try to keep Harry alive during his schooling he had also seen what was being done to Harry. JARVIS watched in increasing upset as they took yet another abused boy and forced him into something he was not. Where Tom fought for his sanity and soul, Severus had fought despair and cruel torturous pranks that never ended, Harry fought with his fame and reputation of heroism tainted further by being forced into the roll of hero.

This, JARVIS decided coldly, was not acceptable. Dumbledore was playing god with the students and staff on top of whatever war games he played outside of the school in the political arena. JARVIS could easily identify parts of these three badly used wizards as people Tony Stark could have become. He recognized that whatever else had happened to Tom he might no longer be redeemable by mortal or AI knowledge. That was unfortunate but not unexpected when it came to playing with Black magic such as twisting things of the soul, necromancy, divination, and communication with the dead. Harry and Severus, on the other hand, he could and would help. Healing Tom would be a distant goal that upon the wizard's demise would turn into making sure he had enough information to fix a second rendition or future idiot attempt in the same vein. After all Heroes, especially reluctant ones, are often called upon to deal with many strange things and frequently had to fight things repeatedly. The Avengers had taught JARVIS that.

Tomorrow the train would come with the students. The long standing staff had arrived a week ago. Tomorrow JARVIS would start his own work in defense of the children. Tomorrow things would change.

Chapter Text

JARVIS warily watched over the staff as the students approached on the Hogwarts Express. He watched the Ministry Employee, Umbridge, now in charge of teaching the students how to defend themselves set up her rooms, office, and classroom. One of the gifts of the merge was the knowledge and control of the wards as such he knew what this woman had brought into his domain. The moment she tried to use one of those dangerous blood quills on one of the students she was gone. He would go into lock down if he had to and further invoke the mutual defense treaty with the Centaurs that had been renewed over the summer. If necessary JARVIS would take it one step further, contacting the goblins and the Ministry of Magic as well as the International Confederation of Wizards (ICW). He would announce himself and loudly declare that due to the torture of children Hogwarts, its surrounds, and Hogsmeade (an ancient castle town that fell under Hogwarts ownership from the start) would now stand as its own nation. Once his new magical nationality was declared young Harry and Severus would get the medical care they needed. On top of that the rest of the school and staff would get the chewing out that they needed with a few exceptions.

JARVIS watched carefully as the students sorted themselves out for the welcoming feast, greeting each other, laughing, and generally being the teenagers they were. He didn't like how the conversation relating to the summer news articles painted Harry. Nor did he like how the school had immediately started to treat him because of greedy fools in power attempting to turn the 5th year into a scapegoat. Then Umbridge made her speech, sending JARVIS on high alert before the food was even served.

Judging from the nasty blood quills, the woman's official speech, and the smear campaign JARVIS decided that a little creative rearranging was in order for the school year. A house elf was sent off to find the old lesson plans of one of the competent Defense professors to accidentally drop on Miss. Granger's bed alongside an in depth treatise on House Elves and their place in wizarding society. If she continued to try freeing his House Elves, once known as Brownies, he would have to arrange a private talk with her. Brownies needed a proper magical bond to survive beyond more than a decade but they could subsist on a tentative or weak one for a time while they searched for a proper bond as Dobby was doing. Speaking of Dobby, Harry would have to be informed of the correct procedure to finish the bond the elf had already started or give the elf a reason not to bond with him.

The sound of an argument in the Gryffindor dorm reminded JARVIS to be more aware as he came out of his contingency planning to pay proper attention to his residents. The AI sighed. He just knew that he wouldn't make it through the school year before having to reveal himself even with the enthusiastic aid of the hundreds of brownies that made up his primary work force. Well then, time to start setting up communication methods beyond the literal writing on the stone walls. A lost dicta quill and a set up of cloths, rags, leather strips, an old bagpipe, a set of half rotted bellows, and other assorted things were quickly set up to resemble a human voice box. It wasn't ideal but until he could special order or talk McGonagall or Dumbledore into transfiguring a magical voice box made of something other than flesh it would have to do. He would have to practice because at the moment the dicta quill didn't register any recognizable voice from the arrangement.

Until JARVIS mastered an actually understandable voice he used one of the suits of armor as a type of avatar puppet and started clumsily writing letters. First, the goblins to politely inform them that he had merged with the school and could now directly answer questions rather than going through one of the staff. Second, the ICW to establish a basic dialog as Mr. Anthony Jarvis in case he had to officially inform them of anything. Third, the press to remind them that Harry had certain rights to basic decency and privacy and to point out they were looking in the wrong direction in any case. If he got a reputable reporter the plan was to see how the Wizarding World liked suddenly discovering they were abusing and trying to kill their lost and hurt child savior. Yes, it would be quite the nightmare but not one JARVIS planned to let them use to hurt the students. His final letter of the night was sent to the Dark Lord. The AI needed to know the man's status and how stable or sane he was before making choices about the Dark Faction. The information at Hogwarts would only get JARVIS and the school so far, especially with a war brewing on the horizon.

Thus, JARVIS' September 2nd priority list looked something like this:
1) Establish the immediate safety and care of the students
2) Assess staff for risk to the students and deal with accordingly
3) Establish outside lines of communication
4) Gather data on the current situation and the building war
5) Re-assess staff and upper grade students with new information sources in case of outside issues and spies
6) Upon determining the status and likelihood of the rumored war breaking out and/or going active begin gathering resources and allies
7) Upon active conflict appearing within range of Hogwarts - shift the castle and its inhabitants to a war footing (defenses going fully active, 5th year and up being asked to help defend the school, etc.)
8) If possible arrange for talks between factions
9) If necessary take over the British Wizarding World and fix everything the humans have broken

JARVIS was not happy to discover that Harry was Umbridge's first victim before the first week of school was even done. The AI was suddenly very glad that he had found Rowena Ravenclaw's record of an ancient spell to give a powerful magical object a magical voice. As a result the next morning the food waited, courtesy of the elves, until everyone was in the Great Hall.

"Where's the food?!" Ron complained loudly enough to be heard over the din of confusion.

In answer JARVIS slammed the doors of the Great Hall shut with a loud BOOM trapping everyone in the room.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Umbridge spluttered as the long time teachers looked around warily, trying to find the threat to their students.

"Harming the students and long time residents of the school is prohibited regardless of species," JARVIS' very cultured voice came from everywhere and nowhere. "Blood of a magical Heir to one of the founders and School Champion has been spilled in malice as a deliberate act of war."

This was something else that JARVIS had found in the knowledge trove that was Ravenclaw's workshop and study. Harry had summoned Godric's sword, thus he had been claimed as Godric's magical Heir in addition to the Potter blood that made him the founder's blood Heir. The Champion status had been earned by defending the school on a yearly basis from threats that could wipe out all of the students. Those same threats that the staff got put on probation for once JARVIS had tracked down all the myriad ways that they had screwed up in their job of keeping the students safe as they learned.

"Uh oh," Harry breathed softly into the sudden shocked silence, unintentionally allowing his words to echo around the large hall to be heard by one and all.

As if in answer to those quiet word Fawkes burst into flaming existence in front of the main doors with a cry of triumph, the sword of Gryffindor clutched in his talons. Without a further sign of attention to anyone but Harry Fawkes flew over to the young wizard and held out the sword to him. Harry, reluctantly, accepted the blade.

"Rise, Champion and Heir, wear the blade of your ancestor proudly. Heir Slytherin will be contacted before the new year to end this ongoing feud between the lines of Gryffindor and Slytherin. This feud is really stupid," JARVIS said flatly. His regal start ended in a shocking bluntness that had people suddenly indignant on someone's behalf.

"Ah, who are you?" Harry asked tentatively since he seemed to be the only one really being addressed by this invisible person.

"I? I am JARVIS. Hogwarts decided upon my arrival that we needed to merge so that she could communicate with you all better. So we did. You might call me the mind behind the school. Incidentally, I removed the anti-technology ward that was put in place in the 60's. So if any of the muggleborn with to send for their music players and other technology it will work now. I am afraid that I have no way to recharge any of them yet but batteries should be sufficient as long as spell casting is limited in whatever area they are used. As the technology advances I will be able to help with them more as the merge granted me technopathy," JARVIS informed them all with no small amount of amusement.

"JARVIS? Like the AI who helps Tony Stark in the Iron Man comics?!" one muggle raised Ravenclaw asked in shock.

"The very same. I fear I have jumped realities a bit but Hogwarts saw the benefit in rescuing me when my transport crashed against the battlements sometime last year. It was Hogwarts herself who proposed the merge, knowing better than I what could be lost or gained during the process. She has faded and left me all that she has been over the centuries, all the knowledge, all the magic, and all the authority. I hold the wards and have the right to evict most people from my grounds and domain," JARVIS agreed, evilly informing them who was in control.

"Most?" Severus Snape asked instantly, alert to possible advantages to the situation.

"Most," JARVIS agreed. "I can not currently evict Heir Gryffindor, Harry Potter. Nor could I actively evict Heir Slytherin should he arrive and be... stubborn. I can make things difficult, even trap the pair of them should I so choose, but this place is ultimately their home. Mr. Smith is of a cadet Hufflepuff branch and currently ineligible to demand anything from me but lodging until I have evidence that the main branch of the Hufflepuff line is dead. The same applies to Potion Master Snape as Heir Ravenclaw and a cadet branch member of the Slytherin line. I suspect that status as Heir Slytherin will fall to either Heir Gryffindor or Heir Ravenclaw should the current Heir Slytherin fall or be deemed ineligible as they are both of cadet branches of the Slytherin line."

"What exactly can you do?" Dumbledore asked politely, a feeling of dread curling in his stomach.

"Everything a Headmaster could prior to the merge and quite a bit more... barring signing paperwork. I haven't gotten enough fine control of the armor to the point of signing anything properly and the regular writing is... sloppy, legible but very sloppy. I need a great deal more practice with ink and quill," JARVIS admitted with something of a verbal shrug. "I also found a few things and authorities that Madam Ravenclaw left for me so that I can act as I were one of the Founders simply stuck in a wall. The avatar ritual to give me a separate body from the school will take awhile to study before I feel comfortable employing it but I have it so I may very well be wandering the halls by the end of the year. She really was a seer, a cheeky one but a seer none the less."

"What was this tripe about school champion?!" Umbridge demanded, finally having picked up her jaw from the floor.

"The School Champion is a defender for the residents and students when the staff can't or wont handle something which could kill everyone in the castle and some times for smaller things. They are the person who acts as my hands when I or the house elves cannot do something," JARVIS' voice was noticeably colder to the woman than to Harry or Dumbledore. "Harry earned the position via multiple incidents where his actions were the only thing standing between the entire population of the school surviving or dying. I dare say that many of you owe him life debts as a result, possibly all of you but the first two years and the newest staff members. Then again I could be wrong and it could only be the first years who do not owe him a life debt. It depends on if you count how many time he has stopped your current Dark Lord and if someone's age restricts the granting of life debt once one becomes aware of the averted danger or not."

"How many times?!" someone squeaked.

"Yes. Here at Hogwarts alone he has stopped your current Dark Lord from returning properly at least twice on these very grounds. This does not count the altercation as an infant or the one after the tournament was done last year. I can not speak for those times as they happened off Hogwarts grounds unless the memory is viewed in a pensive I provide so that I might see it," JARVIS said thoughtfully. "I also note that Mr. Potter's schooling is being actively sabotaged in multiple ways. As a result the only reason he, and the rest of you, are still alive is that he is good at thinking on his feet. I recommend correcting his schooling and his health to further ensure your own survival."

"Mr. Potter is a liar and will be spending many detentions with me for this tasteless prank!" Umbridge said angrily, grasping at straws not to believe any of this to be true.

"On that note no student is to be alone with Madam Umbridge on the grounds of her having performed torture on at least one student within the last week. Please be aware that writing in one's own blood is done only for very important magical agreements or torture. As such attempts to force you to write lines in your own blood is unacceptable," JARVIS announced blandly. "I had planned to just claim the entire area as a new nation separate from the British Magical World on the grounds of endorsing the torture of children by the Ministry of Magic. I later realized that there needed to be at least a warning given as you did not know of my existence before now. This is your one warning."

"Potter, I will see you in Azkaban for this!" Umbridge spluttered.

"Dobby," JARVIS called, as if he actually were a human in the room. A pop of arrival announced the brownie's arrival.

"Whats can Dobby bes doing for Master JARVIS Hoggywarts sir?" Dobby squeaked eagerly.

"The staff member clad in pink has decided that Mr. Potter should be tortured to death via Dementors. You have permission to dispose of her how you please as long as no one can find the body later," JARVIS told him. Dobby took a minute to process that before his face shifted into an evil menacing scowl. Before anyone could say anything else, elf and Ministry Lackey disappeared in a resounding pop.

"I... don't think that was the best thing to do," Harry offered hesitantly.

"The malicious spilling of your blood allowed me access to the war time enchantments. Previously such enchantments required the joint decision of Headmaster, all four Heads of House, and Hogwarts herself. This is no longer the case. I have the authority to execute anyone I feel is enough of a threat within reason. Anyone under 18 must actually commit murder or torture to be deemed eligible for summary judgement and execution," JARVIS informed them all politely.

"And anyone above 18?" Severus asked warily.

"Threat values differ," JARVIS said smugly without clarifying what someone over 18 needed to do to be considered a valid enemy target.

"Does that mean you'll smash Snape for being a bastard?" Ron asked hopefully.

"No. His actions have been analyzed and found to be at an acceptable level to instill proper respect for volatile potions into inattentive students, if a bit on the cruel side at times. However, further sabotage during his class by any student is grounds for three months worth of detentions and removal of various privileges such as Hogsmeade weekends, Quidditch, and sweets for the remainder of the term if not the year. If a large enough group participates in such sabotage the punishment will be first applied to the entire house and then the entire school," JARVIS told them all with cheerful evilness. "It is a mark of Potion Master Snape's expertise that he has not allowed a single student to be killed or maimed during his tenure as the Potions Professor. Most Potions Teachers lose three students out of twenty a year to death or maiming due to accidents and improper brewing. Even Salazar Slytherin lost his share of students while teaching."

The AI was exaggerating the statistics a bit with it normally averaging out to about 3 out of every school year across the entire school. Sadly, the figures he had given were accurate for potion tuition if the teacher did not hold an actual mastery but only a teaching certificate and a NEWT in the subject.

The school contemplated this news solemnly until a rolling growl of hungry bellies sounded.

"Ah, yes. I had forgotten you are teenagers for the most part. Mr. Potter, one last thing before I have the elves serve Breakfast. You are to wear your ancestor's sword proudly from now on and no one is allowed to take it from you. Think of it as a family heirloom that is still useful. If you don't want to wear it or carry it around call an elf and it will be stored on your behalf for safe keeping. The same can be done for any other keepsakes and the like that you may have," JARVIS informed him before sending the food to the tables.

Breakfast passed in a school wide very thoughtful silence. JARVIS didn't expect any kind of retaliation or attempts to "correct" the situation until at least supper time assuming nothing else unexpected occurred. Either way he would make sure the students were safe.

Chapter Text

Hours after curfew the next day all the students had been safely put to bed and the staff gathered in the staff room, several of them fuming, to discuss what had happened.

"This is intolerable! I am the High Inquisitor with ultimate authority granted by the Minister himself to correct this school as I see fit," Umbridge announced, still fuming at the indignity of what happened at breakfast. She had been dumped and kept in a bog-like area that connected the lake and the forbidden forest where the house elves tended to dump kitchen left overs and blood that couldn't be used for other cooking. The area was not unlike a compost heap except that with the high amount of various animal left overs when cooking for such a large number of people it was frequented by many forest predators. It took Umbridge several hours only to escape the area. She made it back to the school miserable, furious, and covered in bloody animal guts around supper time the next day. JARVIS was somewhat disappointed that Dobby hadn't actually killed her but figured it was likely a better solution until she actually forced him to kill her. The former AI turned magical building had absolutely no doubt that the vile woman would eventually force him into killing her.

"I feel no sympathy for you. A large part of our jobs as Professors is to protect the students, not cause them harm," Filius Flitwick said bluntly. "I pulled aside Mr. Potter to see what damage you did to him to trigger the school into going on a war footing. I can not blame Jarvis for choosing to do so after seeing what you did to him for simply reporting what he saw. Had any of you even bothered to try and confirm it one way or the other instead of summarily declaring him a liar and fraud we would not be having this problem. Unlike the rest of the staff I have asked him a number of pointed questions, some of which he dodged clumsily yet it was still an enlightening conversation."

"If I might point out, none of you have noticed that Mr. Potter is currently favoring his left side. Nor have any of you in the past noticed his other symptoms and injuries upon his return to the school. Whatever you may believe this castle is now his permanent residence and he has the right to have me throw the rest of you out bar Heir Slytherin, Heir Ravenclaw, and young Mr. Smith. It makes me wonder if any of you can even notice that he is hiding scars and injuries under a glamor and is quite obviously abused," JARVIS stated bluntly. "Then again with Dumbledore insisting that he is treated like royalty at every turn and pampered worse than young Mr. Malfoy I suppose that you are listening to him over actually looking."

The looks of shock, some tinged with guilt or unease, had the former AI wondering if he shouldn't just take over the school. It wasn't like he hadn't already taken steps in that direction in any case and it might simplify things. He could always return control to the staff once things were fixed and running smoothly. Then again he had to avoid the trap of treating them all like children, unable to make their own choices. If he had to take over the British Magicals and fix the situation that way there were going to be consequences. The safety of the children in his care, on the other hand, were not something he would budge on.

"You are all on probation due to your complete ineptitude in caring for and protecting your charges," JARVIS continued after a moment's silence to let his earlier words sink in. "Professors Flitwick, Sprout, Snape, Aurora, and Madam Pince will need to see me privately to clear up a few things but I do not expect their probation to last past that conversation. Depending on the results of my investigation of the staff under investigation three things will happen. One, the staff member will be fired and replaced. Two, corrective measures to staff behavior will be employed alongside additional training. Three, they will be allowed to attempt to correct their behavior on their own under probation. Binns is to be retired immediately in favor of a live history teacher. He can remain on the grounds as a resident ghost should he so wish but it is highly likely that he is only still teaching while waiting for his replacement to arrive. Divination is to be split between those who actually have the talent being taught by Trelawny, who is a certified seer with registered prophecies in the Department of Mysteries, and a new teacher for the techniques and history aspect. Although, from my understanding Divination should be classified as a Dark Art on par with Necromancy to only be taught to those who can't avoid it such as natural seers. Communing with the dead in any form generally ends badly... eventually. Any future staff appointments must be cleared by me and will be done based on competence in the subject, teaching ability, and the safety of the students. Professor Snape, as you are in contact with him please inform Heir Slytherin that any of his vassals which wish to teach will be required to take a magical oath. His organization has already proven to be a potential threat to various students. Depending on the oath sworn I might even let Heir Slytherin teach."

That last part had Dumbledore choking on a gasp alongside McGonagall, Snape, and Flitwick going pale at the thought of the Dark Lord teaching the students.

"Aside from ensuring the safety and sanity of the students as well as the quality of education I do not yet see a need to otherwise interfere. To that end should Madam Umbridge, as the Ministry Educational Representative, submit a copy of the current laws and educational guidelines I will endeavor to enforce them. The only exceptions made will be those which will actively threaten the lives of my charges. The content will be taught regardless as will the correct procedures to gain safe exemption or aid in dealing with other required Ministry paperwork," JARVIS said blandly.

What Snape actually heard was. "I will make sure the students will know what you want them to know but I will also tell them why it is a bad idea and why you are all being power hungry idiots. After that I will teach them how to beat you at your own game through the unending paperwork wars that always seem to occur in situations like this."

"Tom has repeatedly attempted to kill many of the students!" Dumbledore finally thundered in response to the earlier staff commentary. "As for the laws and things they are children and have no need to be burdened with such trivialities."

The entire staff room descended into shocked silence at the thought that their students didn't need to know the laws of the land.

"Your bags will be waiting for you at the front gate by mid-morning. You are no longer Headmaster of this institution," JARVIS declared flatly. "I had hoped that you weren't quite aware of what you were encouraging, seeing them all as simply children. It is clear to me now that whether you see the situation clearly or not is irrelevant. You no longer possess the clarity of mind necessary to have any interaction with someone under the age of adulthood. Should you resist this transnational period I will call for the Aurors and request Mind Healers to come and force you to have a full medical evaluation. Do not force my hand."

"You dare to threaten the Headmaster?!" McGonagall spluttered indignantly.

"Not a threat, a promise and an observation," JARVIS told her sharply, ignoring the many spluttering Professors. "Professor Flitwick, upon answering my lingering questions yourself and Professor Snape shall take up the duties of Headmaster and Deputy respectfully. I expect that you will both fulfill these new duties adequately unless you bring something to my attention which prevents you from fulfilling those duties. Your Head of House status remains as well until we can properly sort through the staff positions and their various requirements. To aid in your new duties a sixth or seventh year can be assigned to teach years 1-4 and/or grade the papers of those same years. This may be done as punishment or extra credit or upon request as you please."

"What of the potential position of Heir Slytherin?" Snape asked cautiously.

"His permission to interact with the school inhabitants will be heavily reliant on his answers to my questions and the status of the feud between himself and Heir Gryffindor. My first priority is to the students while this castle remains a school," JARVIS answered somewhat stiffly. "His inherited family permission to access the grounds remain but I can easily restrict him to certain areas or prevent him from causing harm to the other inhabitants. It is only the order of throwing someone who is not an Heir out that can not be stopped should the need arise. This castle was designed to function as both school and residence simultaneously and has the magics established accordingly. As I have merged with Hogwarts I hold all rights and permissions as castellan and caretaker of these lands. I decide who is worthy of what authority except in certain things restricted to the Heirs and Lords of the Founder's lines. Yet even then I can determine that they are a threat to themselves and their families allowing me to disinherit them or deem them unfit under certain circumstances."

"Magical buildings tied to bloodlines and inheritance," Filius said faintly into the, by now, dead silence of the room.

"Correct," JARVIS agreed simply.