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Chapter Text

The first thing he notices when he wakes up, is how goddamn nauseous he is. The second thing is that he is actually waking up. The last thing he remembers is sabotaging the Agatha King’s engine, rigging it to blow up as his vac suit practically screamed at him that he was running out of oxygen. He remembers his soliloquy to himself, to Charanpal. It has been easer than saying goodbye to her. Charanpal is the ghost in the back of his head, the memory of his failure, easier to ignore. Chrisjen is the constant headache, the heaviness in his heart, the guilt on his shoulders. The warmth in his chest when she smiles at him.

 

“I thought you were dead.” The words are soft, a slight tremble in them, but there is no mistaking that voice. Of course. Wherever he is, whatever medical facility, whatever ship, because he sure as hell isn’t on a planet, she would be here. Cracking open an eye, he can vaguely make out her shape, an unfamiliar white suit on her body. His vision is agonizingly slowly sharpening until he can make out the dark circles under her eyes, her clenched fists and the hint of relief in her expression.

 

“So did I.” It had almost seemed appropriate, dying to stop the protomolecule, to help Chrisjen’s cause. His last move, still for her. Her hand settles on his chest and it feels warm and familiar through his shirt. He can’t help but notice that it’s trembling ever so slightly. He shouldn’t care that she cares so much, but he knows how much she has lost already and it’s nice to know that him coming back from the dead means something to her.

 

“If you ever do that again, I will take extreme pleasure in watching Bobbie beat the fucking shit out of you.” He tries to chuckle, but it hurts and it comes out more as a cough. On a halfway decent day, he would have retorted, but he settles for a smile. Chrisjen shakes her head at him and leans in, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Her lips are soft and gentle and just for that, he’s grateful he didn’t die.

Chapter Text

“Oh fuck! Must be the wrong deck.” Amos turned around and it took him a second, or ten, to connect the dots between seeing Avasarala, the way her eyebrows rose when she looked at him and the fact that he had just stepped out of the shower. With their limited crew, he had never seen the need to lock the door, but it had possibly slipped his mind that their unlikely refugees were occupying the quarters right above him. He guessed for a mostly earthbound politician, a mistake between decks was easily made.

 

“Well, this is awkward,” he said dryly, taking his time to move his towel to a more strategic place, mostly because he assumed Naomi would have some choice words for him if she saw him with his dick out near Avasarala, or any guests on the ship. Even if there was something about the politician, especially in that flight suit. Or maybe it had just been too long since they had had a proper shore leave.

 

But where most guests probably would have made a quick exit, Avasarala remained on the threshold of his quarters, studying him for a moment. “Unless it isn’t. Wanna come in?”

 

Avasarala tilted her head. If she were shocked by his proposition, she hid it well. But she hadn’t balked when he had hinted at his past. Perhaps there was very little that would phase her. Her eyes travelled over his body, her expression completely guarded. “Tempting as that is, I have much bigger things to worry about.”

 

He chuckled at that. It was a cheap dig, not necessarily what he had been expecting from her, but it did dissolve whatever tension had been in the recycled air. Though that didn’t stop him from briefly looking down, enjoying the way the white fabric stretched over her tits. It had definitely been too long since shore leave. “Maybe after we blow up this clusterfuck on Io.”

 

She rolled her eyes at him and took a step back, the barest hint of a smile playing on her lips. “With all due respect, Amos, fuck off.”

Chapter Text

Zelda stopped on the threshold of their room, no her room. Hilda had her own now, which, considering the display that greeted her, was probably for the best. For a moment she could only stare and then she remembered that the house was very much not empty and if anyone were to walk past, she would have to answer a lot of questions she had no desire of ever being asked. Stepping inside her room, she slammed the door behind her.

 

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” she asked, hating that her voice betrayed just how much she was affected by the sight before her. Mary Wardwell just grinned at her, the kind that sent cold shivers down Zelda’s spine, her fingers moving unwaveringly between her legs.

 

“I’m not.” Zelda managed to look away from Mary long enough to see a psychopomp settling on the windowsill. She has half a mind to yell at the witch for being so irresponsible, but Mary whimpered, pinching her nipple and suddenly her mouth was dry and she felt her composure slipping.

 

“You’re using astral projection to masturbate in my bed?” Straightening her skirt, she sat down at the edge of her bed, close enough to touch, to taste, to smell, if that were possible. Mary stretched out a leg, allowing Zelda a better view of her fingers circling her clit, teasing her entrance.

 

“It is the most effective way to teach you ‘look, don’t touch’, isn’t it?” Her voice had taken on that teacher quality that Zelda always pretended to hate, but Mary had figured out during the first time turned her on. She had a point. She was keeping her hands in her lap, despite her rising need to kiss those red lips, feel Mary’s breast, bury her face between her thighs. Apparently, the knowledge that she couldn’t touch, was helping.

 

“If you’re willing to risk death, just to be a tease, then I suppose it is,” she managed through clenched teeth, her legs pressed together to try and relieve some of the ache building up. Mary always did have a cruel streak, but this one was getting to her and clearly, it was showing on her face, because the damned witch chuckled and moaned, arching up into her own touch. If she weren’t one of the best lovers she had taken in centuries, Zelda would have cursed her then and there. Instead she watched, enraged, enraptured.

 

“Oh, I must be off,” Mary said, glancing at the psychopomps that had gathered and with a wink, she was gone. Groaning, Zelda let herself fall back on her bed. That woman was almost more trouble than she was worth. Almost.

Chapter Text

He had been busy guiding Chrisjen away from the old governor’s mansion and towards the safety of her transport back to New York when he suddenly realized that Bobbie wasn’t following them. He wasn’t really expecting any trouble. It was only a hundred meters or so to the ship and security had already cleared the route, but Bobbie wasn’t to ignore her duty for no reason. Annoyed he turned around, urging Chrisjen to keep moving.

 

He was already soaked to through all the layers of his clothes. He really fucking hated the monsoon. Bobbie, on the other hand, was standing with her face tilted up towards the sky, a smile on her lips.

 

“Hey, marine! We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?” As if on cue, lightening slashed through the sky. Bobbie opened her eyes and turned to look at him, almost as if she had forgotten she wasn’t alone, that she actually had a job to do.

 

“I’ve never felt anything like it.” Thunder rumbled in the background, still far enough away to only sound threatening. Cotyar nearly jumped when he heard a soft laugh beside him and he sighed. It figured that Chrisjen would ignore him and stay out in the open. It wasn’t as if she were the most powerful person on the planet or anything. She was as soaked as him, her bright blue sari clinging to her skin, her hair sliding out of its intricate updo. At least her makeup appeared to be waterproof.

 

He could only imagine what it felt like to experience rain for the first time, especially the monsoon where it was just so much at the same time. Despite his wish to get all three of them on the transport as quickly as possible, it was adorable to see the tall Martian so happily overwhelmed by what she was experiencing. There was a look of wonder on her face that almost made him forget he was wet and uncomfortable.

 

Chrisjen walked past him, the gold edge of her skirt dragging over the ground. She stopped in front of Bobbie, taking a hold of her hands. He was too far away to hear what she was saying to the Martian, but whatever it was, it made her smile and nod. Cotyar looked around for any other security when Bobbie leaned down and kissed the acting Secretary-General in public. Just because Arjun was aware and a part of their arrangement, didn’t mean the whole world needed to know. He shook his head, but Chrisjen didn’t seem to mind.

 

Keeping a hold of one of Bobbie’s hand, Chrisjen guided the tall woman towards him, towards the transport. She grabbed his arm and squeezed gently, raindrops clinging her lashes. They both looked a mess, they looked beautiful.

 

“Let’s get out of this fucking rain.”

Chapter Text

This was an astoundingly stupid idea, but for the love of everything unholy, it felt so sinfully good. She had only invited miss Wardwell into her home to tell her to back off, despite her brother’s wishes and their successful exorcism. She didn’t think the teacher was a good influence on Sabrina. How could an excommunicated witch ever be, for Satan’s sake?

 

But the woman certainly knew how to bat her lashes, speak the right words, voice dipped in honey, know how to push all the right buttons until she had Zelda leaning against a wall, her skirt hitched up around her waist, one of her legs resting on miss Wardwell’s shoulder as her tongue fluttered against her clit, teasing her, drawing this out way more than she should with an unlocked door.

 

Biting her bottom lip to keep from moaning too loudly, Zelda settled a hand on the witch’s head, running her fingers through the thick hair. This shouldn’t feel so good. This was the woman who had been in love with Edward, who had been protecting her niece from afar for years because of that love. And here she was on her knees, doing things to her that she hadn’t felt in decades.

 

“Auntie?” The all too familiar voice rang through the house, far too close for comfort. Zelda tensed. She was getting close, but she was fairly certain Ambrose would find her before Mary Wardwell would manage to get her off. Logically speaking, she knew she ought to push her away, but the teacher doubled her efforts, sucking her clit into her mouth and sliding two fingers in her. She bit back a groan.

 

“Auntie, I need your help with…oh.” She knew from his position that he couldn’t see anything he wasn’t meant to see. But Ambrose wasn’t an idiot and from his expression it was beyond clear that he knew exactly what was going on. Fuck.

 

“Well, this is awkward,” Mary said against her thigh with a smile that was downright evil. If her fingers weren’t curling to hit that one sensitive spot, she’d be inclined to shove her away. It wasn’t as if sex were taboo in this household. But there were boundaries and judging from Ambrose’s wide eyes, this was definitely crossing one. Things would indeed be awkward for a little bit at the dinner table. As if she didn’t have enough problems already.

 

“I will leave you to it,” Ambrose muttered and disappeared. Mary Wardwell’s cold eyes were alight with mischief. Zelda rolled her eyes and wished she had a cigarette to take a long drag from.

 

“Will you just finish what you started?” she snapped. The grin she got as a reply was close to feral, almost inhuman, but at least the witch returned to task at hand, the fire instantly returning to Zelda’s veins. It’d be worth the judgmental looks for a bit.

Chapter Text

It takes her more than a few seconds to realize what, or more precisely, who she is looking at. It’s been so long. Well, not really, but a regeneration always gives her the feeling ages have passed when really it has only been a year and what is a year when you’re her age?

 

“Doctor, my, my. I was always partial to a strong jawline, but I dare say this is the most delectable you’ve ever looked.” Missy stalks around her, her hair somehow having gotten even more out of control than before. The Doctor didn’t think that was possible. She looks good, better than when she had been locked up in the Vault. She hopes this doesn’t mean that she has reverted to her old genocidal ways. That would be such a shame.

 

“Missy. I thought you were - -.”

 

“Dead?”

 

“Yeah. Well no. I was bit busy dying myself, so you kind of slipped my mind.” Not to mention that whole business with her first self. It was a lot in a very short amount of time before she regenerated. It wasn’t her fault she sort of forgot that Missy and the Master were a problem still to be dealt with. Of course, Missy looks utterly aghast. Always a flair for the dramatic. At least that is one thing that remained constant across all regenerations.

 

“Dear Doctor. Both my hearts are extremely hurt. There I was, stabbing myself in the back for you and you just forget me. If I didn’t need you, I’d shove you out of your TARDIS midflight.” Ignoring the casual mention of murder for the moment, the Doctor focuses on the more important part of the sentence. Whatever it is, it must have been enough to show up unwanted in the TARDIS.

 

“Need me? What could you possibly need me for?” Her little adventures with Missy had never really gone to plan and most of the time they ended with her friends getting hurt in one way or another. She definitely wasn’t in the mood for that any time soon. She freezes when Missy is suddenly only an inch or two away from her, her hands curled around the Doctor’s braces.

 

“Marriage, darling. Marry me, dear old friend.” A kiss is pressed to the tip of her nose at the same time the braces are snapped back, a soft sting tingling through her skin. But both barely register, because Missy is smiling like a madwoman and the Doctor is pretty certain that she has lost her mind as well.

 

“What?” It’s almost a shout, mostly because her brain is having trouble to catch up with what she heard. She’s kidding, she has to be. Missy just skips out of reach, leaning against the console of the TARDIS, innocuously playing with a few levers.

 

“See, to get off the Mondasian colony ship I had to make a few bargains here and there and got into a teensy bit of trouble. You know how it is. Soooo, I may have promised them a Time Lord wedding. Well, Time Lady wedding now. Those are always more fun anyway.”

 

“I’m already married.” She hasn’t seen River yet with this face, but she has a feeling it won’t be long. Though River would probably find it all very funny. And besides, she knows what the Doctor and the Master in any regeneration are like together, explosive, dangerous, addictive. It’s a bad idea. Really bad.

 

“It wouldn’t be a real wedding. How many really know the right ritual anyway? We can just fake it for a bit. Come on, it’ll be fun. Do your old girlfriend a favor. After all I killed myself for you.” And by killing the Master she made sure that Missy was born. It’s not really a sacrifice like that. But Missy is pouting and the Doctor just doesn’t feel like continuing this discussion. Who knows? It might be a fun adventure as long as there are no cybermen around. She sighs.

 

“Fine.”

Chapter Text

“It’s been a while since you were up here.” Arjun’s voice was soft as he settled beside her. Despite the warm summer air, she leaned against him, the linen of his shirt familiar against her cheek. She thought she had been so quiet, making her way to the roof at 3 am. It had been a while, but the days are getting more and more grueling and she just needed a little time to herself, even if it was the middle of the night, with her alarm set to go off in two and half hours.

 

“You think I work too fucking much,” Chrisjen said quietly, not a hint of an accusatory tone in her words. She was working too much. Too many late nights and days she barely managed to speak with Arjun, except through a screen. When she had the job she wanted, it made sense, but now that she had the one job she never even close to fucking desired, it was wearing her down, the lack of contact. Even though she was painfully aware that she couldn’t walk away from it.

 

Arjun just stayed silent, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, his fingers tracing nonsensical patterns on her skin. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice. I haven’t seen you that concerned since I buried myself in work after Charanpal. And I know you won’t complain.”

 

Those few nights she had made it home before midnight and continued working on the sofa, she could feel his eyes on her, noticed his frown deepening, his lips thinning. He was worried about her, but he had never and wouldn’t ever mention it to her. And once her mask she wore as acting Secretary-General was off, they didn’t talk about her work.

 

“I’m married to the love of my life and she runs the planet. There is nothing to complain about.” His voice was so calming, so understanding. She had been married to him for over forty years and his patience would always remain somewhat of a mystery to her. It was what had driven her nearly insane after Charanpal’s death. It had been the only thing that had held their marriage together at times. Other people would have walked away from her, her ambition.

 

Not Arjun.

 

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” she whispered, not really expecting an answer, but his movements stilled and she heard him take a deep breath. He had stood by her when she had made her way to the top of Earth’s government, had been the one that had kept their family together through all the shit they had encountered, had even allowed her a few indiscretions over the years. He was her one stable point in life and she loved him, would never stop loving him.

 

“I could ask you the same thing.” Whatever response Chrisjen had been expecting, it hadn’t been that and for a moment, she could feel tears filling her eyes. She blinked them away before she looked up at him and found the same emotions in his expression. Arjun leaned down and kissed her, his lips so familiar. She cupped his jaw and deepened their kiss. She had missed this. He still tasted like home.

Chapter Text

“You lied to me,” Olivia hissed, the feeling of betrayal seeping into her veins, her bones, it filled her lungs until it hurt to breathe. She should have known from the beginning that Sunny wasn’t to be trusted, she should have seen it. But she hadn’t, not until it was too late and those big brown eyes and charming smile had made her give in to a moment of weakness, a quick fuck in the bathroom of some skeevy bar.

 

Olivia wished Sunny had just disappeared into a dark hole for the next decade, out of sight, out of mind, but of course, she had gotten out on bail. For once Olivia had hoped the biased system would have worked in her favor. A middle-eastern woman, Muslim, albeit non-practicing. She was the perfect candidate for reprimand in a post 9/11 New York. But by some miracle, and Sunny’s excellent record up until the moment she had taken the law and ripped it into pieces, she had been released on a laughably low bail.

 

“This shocks you?” No, it didn’t shock her. It hurt her, fueled her a white-hot hatred she hadn’t felt in a long time. She was so cool, calm, collected, not impressed by the anger radiating off Olivia. It was infuriating. Olivia knew she shouldn’t have gone to her apartment, shouldn’t have shoved the woman against a wall, Sunny’s slim wrists trapped in her iron grip. Sunny hadn’t even been surprised.

 

Olivia bared her teeth in a snarl, but instead of shrinking back, Sunny offered her neck, a cold smirk playing on her lips. Fuck, she hated her. She wanted her. Giving in to the urge, she sunk her teeth in the delicate skin of her neck, the choked moan she got as a response travelling down her spine, settling between her thighs.

 

“Do it. Fuck me.” Sunny’s voice was somehow even lower than normal, desire laced in the sound. Memories lanced through her, the taste of Sunny’s lips, the feeling of her tongue against her skin, against her nipples. Sunny’s fingers inside her, whispered words of encouragement. The sound Sunny made when she came. It was all so vivid. Pleasant memories, now all twisted up. Ruined because of all the lies.

 

Olivia pulled back, remembering the cold words Sunny had thrown in her face when she had been arrested. Such a stark contrast between the way she looked now, unburdened, aroused, beautiful, Olivia’s mark on her skin and it was all wrong. She couldn’t do this. She’d never be able to look at herself in the mirror again.

 

“No.” Olivia released her as if she had been burned. She had turned around and left the apartment before she could fully realize what she was feeling. It hit her like a ton of bricks. She felt as if she had lost.

 

Sunny’s mocking laugh followed her all the way down the hall.

Chapter Text

Clara wasn’t exactly sure what was stranger, the loud bang followed by a disheveled Missy appearing in the middle of her kitchen or the fact that she looked like she had wanted to make some annoying remark before she had collapsed and it had been all that Clara could do to catch her before she banged her head against the counter. In hindsight, maybe she should have let the Time Lady get hurt. She deserved it.

 

“Why am I on the floor and in your lap?” Clara rolled her eyes. Of course, Missy would immediately launch into complaining. And Missy wasn’t in her lap, not exactly. She was more or less leaning against Clara’s chest, while Clara sat on the floor.

 

“You popped up in my flat uninvited and then you fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.” Considering she had nearly turned the whole planet into cybermen and had locked Clara in a Dalek, it really wouldn’t have taken much to get her attention. Time Lords, apparently they all just had to be really goddamn dramatic all the time. Especially Missy, who was still practically in her lap, even when she appeared to be perfectly fine.

 

“You humans always like a bit pizzazz, don’t you? Why else would have all those ridiculous ‘talent’ competitions?” Clara blinked at illogical jump Missy had made in her train of thought, but decided not to argue with her. Really, it would probably only lead to another attempt at world annihilation.

 

“Why are you here? In my house?” It seemed like a good question to ask. Clara had gotten used to the Doctor just appearing whenever he pleased. But Missy, she had rather hoped she had somehow not survived their ordeal on Skaro. She supposed she should have known better. The woman was like a cockroach, impossible to kill.

 

Missy finally pushed herself away from Clara and turned around to face her, an exaggerated pout present, but her cold, blue eyes piercing, as if she were trying to look past Clara’s face and directly into her brain. It was unsettling.

 

“Why, I missed you, of course? We’ve had fun before.” Missy sounded so sweet, so childlike almost, but Clara could still see Danny as a cyberman, remembered the desperation she had felt when she had been locked inside a Dalek. She could even still remember the men Missy had murdered to prove that she wasn’t good. Fun was about the last thing she would call what Missy had put her and the Doctor through.

 

 “We definitely have not,” she snapped. Missy’s pout disappeared and was replaced by a smirk that sent a shiver down Clara’s spine. And much to her surprise, it wasn’t completely unpleasant. Missy leaned closer and trailed her index finger agonizingly slowly over Clara’s jaw, stopping underneath her chin, tilting her head back just a tad. Clara felt wholly confused about what was happening, about the way her heart skipped a beat.

 

“But… we could?” Oh shit.

Chapter Text

There was something to be said about sitting just on the edge of the TARDIS, a spectacular view of some nebula most humans wouldn’t see for at least five centuries, if the Doctor was to be believed. She was talking animatedly, an arm around Yaz’s shoulders, their legs dangling in the nothingness of space.

 

“Tell me a secret,” Yaz asked, out of the blue. The Doctor talked so much, knew even more, but despite the random nuggets of information, she never truly talked about herself. And Yaz wanted to know more about her than her two hearts, her regenerations, the taste of the galaxy on her lips.

 

The Doctor grew silent for a moment, that easy smile disappearing from her face and for a moment Yaz wondered if she had done something really wrong. But she had seen the Doctor angry and this wasn’t it. There was a sadness there that surprised her. The nebula reflected in her eyes suddenly seemed much less bright.

 

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer. I was just being nosey.” It was why she had gone with the Doctor, why she dove headfirst into every crazy adventure they always found themselves experiencing. Curiosity, nosiness, it was in her character. But maybe she shouldn’t be digging into the Doctor’s life. An alien of her age, she’d have a million secrets and not all of them good.

 

“No, it’s alright,” the Doctor said quietly and it was so unlike her that Yaz wished she could take her words back. The Doctor removed her arm from Yaz’s shoulders and cautiously took Yaz’s hand, interlacing their fingers. She was looking for strength and Yaz wouldn’t ever deny her that.

 

“I smile. And I run to save people all around the galaxy. Earth is protected, mostly, because of it me. But there’s this side to me that is so dark and some days, it takes a lot to not let it out. And then just sometimes, it does happen. And it’s never good. But I try. I try so hard.” The Doctor didn’t look at her, just kept her eyes on the nebula, but Yaz had a feeling she wasn’t really seeing it. She swallowed, a sudden lump in her throat. She hadn’t been expecting this kind of confession.

 

But she understood the Doctor more, her fierce need to save as many people as she could, even when they weren’t the best of people. Why she ran so fast all the time and could never let even small problem go. She had to solve it, make the universe just a little bit better. To fight whatever darkness was inside her.

 

“We all have demons, Doctor.” She lifted the Doctor’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. The Doctor turned to look at her, the sadness in her eyes having lessened some. “But I don’t know anybody who fights them harder than you do.”

Chapter Text

The light was so goddamn bright that for a moment, Bobbie couldn’t see anything, but it smelled unlike anything she had ever smelled before. Fresh and warm, it was inviting, even if the first wave of heat rolling over her was just a bit too much for her Martian blood. And then her eyes got used to the light and she forgot how to breathe.

There was a seemingly unending stretch of a white sandy beach and water so blue it almost looked fake. The rocks far off in the water looked gravity defying. It all seemed fake, too beautiful. But a soft breeze blew though her hair and it hit her like suddenly pulling 10 G’s. This was real. And Chrisjen had arranged it for her.

“Are you just going to stare at it or are you going to move your ass?” The shorter woman came to stand beside her on the edge of the ramp of the transport. Bobbie had briefly wondered why Chrisjen had chosen to wear something short sleeved and with an airy look to it when New York was at the end of autumn. But she had decided a long time ago to not make any remarks about Chrisjen’s outfits unless she was taking them off her.

“It’s so different from New York.” The water wasn’t some sickly shade of grey, it didn’t smell. Even the beach itself looked healthier somehow. It was exactly how she had pictured the ocean and also what she had thought wasn’t possible anymore, the way Earthers treated their planet. This was her dream for Mars.

“The oceans and seas around the United States haven’t been clean in decades. You deserved to see open water that we haven’t completely fucked up yet.”

“Beautiful,” Bobbie breathed as she toed off her shoes and stepped off the transport. The sand was impossibly soft and warm, as if it weren’t close to an enormous body of water. She looked over her shoulder at Chrisjen who just made a shooing motion. Grinning, she took a few steps more on the beach and then ran off towards the water.

The water was almost warm. Somehow she had still expected it to be stone cold. It was pleasant, welcoming. She had never actually swum before, but as the water lapped at her ankles, Bobbie decided that it didn’t matter. She had imagined swimming in water, in open water for so long. Fuck it.

She quickly stripped off her clothes, leaving her in her underwear as she took a few more steps into the water. With a wide smile, she dove into it. Salt water went into her mouth and strange sort of weightlessness that was both like being in zero G and nothing like at the same time. Bobbie popped her head above the surface and coughed. Despite its beauty, the water was disgusting. It didn’t matter. She was swimming. Well, floating, with her feet close enough to the ground to touch it if necessary.

Turning around, momentarily distracted by her hair floating around her, she looked towards the beach. Chrisjen looked straight out of a fairy tale with a deep purple sari, the water just touching her toes and the paradise-like background. Her soft smile felt warmer than the sun.

“Are you coming?” she asked, partly walking, partly floating closer to the shore.

“I’m not exactly dressed for a swim.”

“So? Neither am I.” She hadn’t even been dressed for a tropical climate. And if Chrisjen had taken the effort to arrange this ‘field trip’ and taken the time to come with her, she definitely had the time to take a little dip in the water as well. If anyone could use a little relaxation, it was her. “When was the last time you swam in the ocean?”

“Technically speaking you’re in a sea right now.” Bobbie rolled her eyes. Nothing would ever be easy with her.

“Come on. Join me,” she tried as she stood up, the water level at her hips. With some difficulty and probably looking a lot less sexy than she had hoped, she managed to wiggle out of her wet bra and toss it on the beach. She sort of assumed this beach was private or that Chrisjen would have had security clear it. A little nudity wouldn’t harm anyone and judging from the look in Chrisjen’s eyes, she agreed.

“Fuck. Fine.” Bobbie grinned. She did enjoy it so much whenever Chrisjen conceded to her, especially if it involved less clothes. She moved closer to the edge of the water and lay down on her stomach, allowing the gentle waves to move her a little. It was soothing, but her attention was mostly on the woman on the shore, methodically unraveling her pallu until she was left in a skirt and a short blouse that revealed a generous amount of skin around her midriff.

Bobbie closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the strange weightlessness and the sun warming her back. She had gotten so used to Chrisjen’s chaotic schedule that she had almost forgotten what it felt like to do nothing an enjoy it. And to do it here, it was just amazing. No matter what was going to happen in the future, she’d always have this memory.

“I can’t remember the last time I went skinny dipping,” Chrisjen commented and Bobbie’s eyes flew open in time to see Chrisjen walk past her into the water and dive into gracefully, not wearing a stitch of clothing. Well fuck. A naked Chrisjen Avasarala. She hadn’t thought the ocean could get much better. Apparently, she had been wrong. She looked around, but wherever their security detail was, they were out of sight.

“No one told you to take off all your clothes,” Bobbie muttered when Chrisjen appeared above the surface again, her long hair floating around her. Comparing her to a fairy tale had been right, she looked like a mermaid, albeit one that no one ought to fuck with.

“Salt water and that kind of lace are fucking disastrous combination.” Chrisjen shrugged and just shook her head, moving deeper into the water to join the acting Secretary-General who was swimming like it was her second nature. Maybe someday, Bobbie would able to swim as well, a fairly useless skill on Mars, but it would make for an interesting story. Until then, she made sure she could still stand wherever she went.

“Sure.”

“Are you saying I’m lying?” Chrisjen raised an eyebrow and somehow even while naked and soaking wet, it was still impressive. But Bobbie reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her closer until Chrisjen was pretty much forced to wrap her legs around Bobbie’s waist, unable to stand to stand in the water without submerging most of her face.

“I was taught never to trust the enemy.” The enemy. That seemed like ages ago when she had used Chrisjen face for target practice. Now here she was, running her hands up Chrisjen’s sides, marveling at how it all felt familiar and so different at the same time.

“Remind me of that the next time I take you Thailand.” There was a mischievous twinkle in her eyes and Bobbie couldn’t resist, leaning in and kissing her. Chrisjen’s lips tasted of the sea, salty and breathtaking. Without even hesitating, Chrisjen deepened the kiss and Bobbie prayed that their security detail was discreetly looking the other way, because she didn’t want to share this moment with anyone except the woman in her arms.

“How long can we stay here?” Bobbie asked, resting her forehead against Chrisjen’s. She heard the older woman sigh.

“Not long enough.” Bobbie understood. Maybe better than anyone. Duty called.

Then she had better enjoy this while it lasted.

Chapter Text

Zelda froze when Mary’s fingers brushed over the remnants of the lashes on her back, a pained whimper escaping past her lips. She thought the teacher hadn’t noticed, but she stopped mouthing at her neck, her fingers expertly tracing a welt from beginning to end. Her tough was light, almost healing, but Zelda didn’t feel reassured. This wasn’t something she had ever wanted the other witch to discover.

 

“My penance. Father Blackwood and I have it effective to keep the Dark Lord pleased.” It was the truth as much as it was omitting it, but she doubted it was a successful tactic. Mary sighed, rolling her eyes and it was absolutely not the reaction Zelda had been expecting.

 

“Flagellation is such a male concept. It’s practically Catholic. It’s also not what the Dark Lord requires as punishment.” Mary had the talent of sounding extremely bored when she was annoyed. Zelda had come to realize that fairly quickly. But she was sure that Mary wasn’t annoyed at her activities with Father Blackwood. It was the act of flagellation, the fact that she thought it wasn’t what Satan wanted. She seemed so sure of it.

 

“What would you know of the Dark Lord’s wishes and requirements?” An excommunicated witch who had pretended to a mere human for years couldn’t know more than Father Blackwood. It was ridiculous and not possible. Mary merely raised an eyebrow, her fingers brushing against the underside of Zelda’s breasts. It was close to innocuous, but there was something in her eyes that caused Zelda to press her thighs together.

 

“More than you think. If you like a little pain during sex, just say so. Don’t delude yourself into thinking it is what He wants.” Mary’s thin fingers moved up, pinching a stiff nipple until it hurt. Zelda gasped, all thoughts of the Dark Lord’s wishes gone from her head. Everything was focused on the witch who was smiling like she owned the world. “So tell me, dear Zelda. Do you like pain with your pleasure?”

 

Zelda nodded, words escaping her. She did like pain with her pleasure and penance was as good a reason as any to get it.

 

Mary returned to kissing and sucking at her throat, her mouth moving down to her collarbones. Zelda felt a wave of disappointment. She had thought, or hoped, that Mary would have taken the initiative, would find a way to hurt her the way she wanted to be hurt.

 

Sharp teeth suddenly sank into her skin and pain seared through her body all the way to the tips of her fingers. It was almost inhuman, the way Mary easily bit through her skin. It was unholy, so good. Her clit throbbed with need. She couldn’t feel anything except pain and desire. It was everything she needed.

 

Mary pulled back, leaving a lingering pain on Zelda’s collarbone. Her lips were stained red with blood and her eyes were more alive than ever before.

 

“Are you ready for more?” Zelda leaned in and licked her own blood from Mary’s lips, the metallic taste intoxicating. She was definitely ready.

Chapter Text

Slowly Bobbie traced a nonsensical pattern on Chrisjen’s arm, trying to find a way to say what she had been thinking about for days. She had never been one to hold back on saying what she thought, but this was difficult. This was the first time she had even considered to leave Mars. She had defected to Earth, to Chrisjen, but that had been for Mars. It had been different this time. This time, there was more than just Mars and her dream of oceans on the red planet on the table.

“Out with it,” Chrisjen muttered against her collarbone. Bobbie smiled weakly. Sometimes she still wasn’t convinced that the woman wasn’t a mind reader, the way she always seemed to know what she was about to do, or thinking. Even now, post-coital and half asleep, she was aware that something was weighing on Bobbie’s mind.

“I think it’s time for me to go home. I can’t sit on the sidelines with whatever this protomolecule ring crap is.” Bobbie winced. She could have found a better way of blurting that out.

“I know.” Of course, she knew. It wouldn’t even surprise her if Chrisjen had somehow already arranged that she could go back to the MCRN, fully reinstated. She had already offered that when they had arrived on Luna. Chrisjen had known from the beginning that Bobbie was going to back to Mars at some point. She had simply waited until she was ready. “It’s going to be a clusterfuck out there. Everybody is going to want to know what that goddamn ring is and lay their claim to it. Mars needs you back.”

For the first time, Chrisjen raised her head and looked at her, her expression soft. Just for a moment Bobbie was struck once again by how beautiful she was. It was almost hard to imagine that she had once hated that face.

“We’re going to be on opposite sides again,” Bobbie teased, not entirely sure how to deal with this situation. She was breaking up with a woman she had something undefinable with. It wasn’t a relationship. It wasn’t an affair. It just was.

“Like hell we are. I’ve got Smith sufficiently scared that the wouldn’t dare put a foot out of line or else his balls are mine.” Bobbie laughed at that, even when she knew that Chrisjen definitely wasn’t bluffing. She pulled the other woman on top of her and kissed her, fingers running over her spine, tongues lazily sliding against one another.

“I’ll miss you.” She would. She was going to miss this impossible Earther dearly. With their jobs, she really could only hope their paths would cross again at some point. Chrisjen’s lips thinned briefly and there was the smallest of tremors in her chin that told Bobbie that her feelings were reciprocated.

“Just know, if you die, I’m gonna kill you.” Chrisjen wasn’t going to make any grand declarations or even do anything that would make it harder for Bobbie to return to Mars, to her duty. This was the closest she would come to letting Bobbie know it was hard to let her go.

It was something Bobbie wouldn’t ever forget.

Chapter Text

“This day could not get any worse,” Brenda muttered to herself, slamming the door to her office closed. With Will breathing down her neck, Fritz having been in a foul mood this morning and a case that seemed impossible to solve, she was getting a headache that not even a sugar rush could stop.

 

“Wanna bet?” a smooth voice said from the corner and Brenda jumped, not having spotted the captain leaning against the other door. She frowned, tossing her bag on the desk and blindly reaching for her candy drawer. Sharon’s face was unreadable, nothing that could give away what she was doing unannounced in her office. She didn’t think there was any reason for FID to be involved with Major Crimes at the moment.

 

“What are you doin’ here?”

 

“Making your day worse, apparently, Chief.” Well, that was nothing new. The captain looked intimidatingly beautiful in her pinstriped suit, clear green eyes hidden behind severe glasses. She always managed to make Brenda feel frumpy, with her floral skirt and pink blazer, munching away on a Ding Dong. They were polar opposites, most of the time. The few rare times they got along, they were naked and there wasn’t a whole lot of talking. “My son, who was supposed to be away at college, saw you leave last night.”

 

The young man she had walked past in the hallway, the one who had given her a curious look as if he had never seen a woman before. She had wondered who he was and if he had managed to catch a glimpse of their goodbye kiss. Clearly, he had. It had to be awkward, seeing your momma kiss a woman. She had never asked Sharon if her family knew she was bisexual. It hadn’t mattered. “So?”

 

Sharon granted her with a spectacular eyeroll and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “So, he thinks we’re dating and explaining the truth to him seemed like a worse alternative.”

 

“An alternative to what?” Brenda suddenly had the sinking feeling this conversation was indeed going to make her day worse and no amount of chocolate would fix that.

 

“Introducing you. He wants me to invite you to dinner, tonight.” Dinner. With the colleague she mostly hated who was also the woman she was having affair with. And her son. While pretending to be dating. Sharon looked both apprehensive and amused at the no doubt shocked expression on her face.

 

“Oooh, shoot,” she said softly. Brenda had honestly never had any regrets about sleeping with captain Raydor, even if she knew that morally speaking, she should have. But suddenly she could feel some creeping up, along with that massive headache. She really hated this day.

Chapter Text

Amos was a little surprised when he saw Avasarala in sickbay, standing next to the sleeping Martian. She had been hogging the tightbeam from the moment they had set course for Tycho, talking to Earth, Mars even Fred Johnson. He had wondered if she had even moved from her quarters since the war had ended. The answer was right in front of him, her hand hovering above Draper’s, but seeming unsure about touching her, with the marine’s skin all shades of black and blue.

 

“It could be worse,” he offered up, knowing the extant of Draper’s injuries and with a few rounds stuck in that medcuff, she’d be alright. Avasarala looked up at him, as if she had just realized he was there.

 

“What the fuck would you know?” she snapped, but it lacked some of the heat Amos had seen when she chewed out Holden, Naomi, or anyone on the ship really. She looked vulnerable, tired and he swore he saw tears in her eyes. It was everything he had never associated with her.

 

“I know your Martian could be dead, the hybrids could have been fucking up Mars and no doubt Earth next. Your man could have failed to blow up the Agatha King and Mao could have escaped. It’s still a mess, but we call this a win.” He placed a stool down next to the bed. Avasarala stared at it and then slowly sat down. Amos didn’t miss the way she let her hands rest just a hair’s breadth away from Draper.

 

“That is a very simplified way of looking at things.”

 

He shrugged. “Shit is complicated enough as it is.”

 

Avasarala let out a wry chuckle and shook her head. She looked at the sleeping marine, concern flashing over her face. Whatever that relationship was, it was more than employer-employee. Amos thought it might not be the smartest thing to do, but he carefully placed a hand on her shoulder. Even a woman like her needed some support. Avasarala stiffened for a moment and then relaxed, as much as probably could.

 

“Uncomplicate this, I’m going to be Secretary-General as soon as I step foot on a UN ship.” Huh. Secretary-General Avasarala. He didn’t pay any attention to politics, but that was bound to be interesting. For a politician, she didn’t bullshit around. But this was clearly a job she did not want.

 

“I like you better than the current guy. But that sucks.” Being in charge was a job that he had never wanted. It’s was why he was grateful for Holden. Nobody on the ship envied his position and Amos didn’t envy Avasarala for being passed the leadership of Earth.

 

“It does. It sucks big, hairy fucking balls.”

 

“Are you gonna talk like that when you’re the boss?” She rolled her eyes at him. He could picture it, some important bullshit speech with words like ‘motherfucker’ and ‘cunt’ thrown in. It would certainly make politics more interesting. “Still, it could be worse.”

 

“Shut the fuck up,” Avasarala said with a weak smile, her attention moving back towards the marine. Amos softly squeezed her shoulder and left the two of them alone. She needed all the alone time she could get, before all hell broke loose again.

Chapter Text

“Don’t forget your antibiotics,” Chrisjen said quietly, a vulnerability in her voice that didn’t belong there, tears in her eyes that he wanted to wipe away. Cotyar glanced at the few antibiotics capsules that she was placing in his hand, fingers digging into his wrist. He wished he didn’t have to leave her, give at least some peace of mind.

 

“I won’t,” he promised. If the impossible happened and he somehow managed to survive this attack, he’d try to stay alive for her. If only to never see that look in her eyes again. He turned to walk away, before he couldn’t anymore. But Chrisjen stopped him, yanked him back, his name whispered in the recycled air.

 

Suddenly Cotyar had his arms full of an impossible politician who pulled him down for a searing kiss, leaving him speechless and frozen, for a moment, before he kissed her back. Soft lips moving against his own, a familiar hand against his cheek. For a moment time stopped and all he could feel and think about was Chrisjen Avasarala. All too quickly reality came crashing back and with regret, he pulled back. A single tear had rolled down her cheek and he wiped it away. She smiled sadly and took a step back.

 

This time she let him leave, but the heaviness in his heart was even worse now. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her yet. The tall Martian stood on walkway, a quizzical look on her face. He couldn’t blame her. He was still wondering what had just happened back there.

 

“Good job, Marine,” Cotyar managed as he passed her, but Bobbie stopped him as well, her gloved hand landing on his shoulder.

 

“Don’t die, Spy. If you die, I’m gonna kill you. Or she’ll have you killed.”

 

“If anyone could kill an already dead person, it would be you.” He grinned weakly and Bobbie shook her head in her helmet. Cotyar pulled her closer until the helmet touched his forehead. He couldn’t hug her or kiss her, not with that armor, but he needed to say goodbye to her as well, in his own way. “Take care of her. She needs you.”

 

“I will. Just make sure you get back to us.” He was going to try his hardest, even if they had no allies left and missiles were flying at them. He wished he could promise he would find his way back to them, that they’d all make it out alive and fine. But he had learned a long time ago that wishes were worth nothing.

 

He watched them as the doors closed between them, Bobbie’s hand on Chrisjen’s shoulder. The Martian marine and the Earther politician. They made for a strange couple, but he was certain they could turn the system upside down if they put their minds to it. Bobbie was exactly what Chrisjen needed right now, her knight in shining Goliath armor. He knew he ought to leave, but something told him he wasn’t going to see them again and he wanted to remember this moment.

 

Bobbie looked away first, making preparations to save their lives. Chrisjen gave him one last look through the small window and it almost made him want to open the doors and run towards them, gut wound be damned. Instead he turned away and ran, hoping beyond hope he would see them again.

Chapter Text

“You need to stop,” Sharon hissed in her ear as she seemingly appeared out of nowhere, leaning against the sink as Brenda was washing her hands. She must have been lost in her thoughts if she had failed to hear the telltale click of the captain’s heels on the floor.

 

“Stop what?” As far as she knew she hadn’t been deliberately interfering with one of FID’s cases or captain Raydor’s little investigation and she didn’t think any of her team was involved in a shooting. At least, Brenda hoped not.

 

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.” So this wasn’t about work. It was about them. It seemed like an unnecessary risk to talk about that at work, a risk Sharon would never take. Brenda frowned as Sharon put her hands in pockets, annoyance clear as day on her face. She hadn’t been looking at Sharon. Not much, anyway.

 

“I don’t --.”

 

“Don’t bullshit me, Brenda Leigh. I can’t count how many times you’ve mentally undressed me. Your team wouldn’t know what chemistry was if it hit them in the face, but sooner or later they’re going to figure out what we’re doing.” Maybe if Sharon didn’t dress in those damn suits with just a hint of cleavage, cutting people down in that even tone, Brenda wouldn’t have to think about undressing her, or the sounds she made while Brenda was buried between her thighs or what she looked like, naked, tired and satisfied.

 

“They won’t. They’d never think that we would sleep together.” Most of the time Brenda had trouble believing that she was cheating on her husband with that woman. With the woman who drove her up the walls most of the times. But they’d gone out for drinks one time, Sharon’s attempt to bury the hatchet. A pleasant buzz and an inexplicable spark had led to a make-out session in a dark corner of a parking garage. From there, it had just escalated into the full-blown affair it was now.

 

“They’re detectives. Drop enough clues and one of them is bound to follow them the truth. Can you imagine if Flynn or Provenza found out?” Brenda shuddered. That would be disastrous. Provenza would probably try to have a committed. Andy, well, he’d no doubt blame Sharon being a witch for it.

 

“So stop looking at me like you want me to bend you over the nearest desk,” Sharon added when she spotted Brenda’s horrified expression. All of a sudden Brenda’s head was filled that exact image and she could feel her cheeks heating up. How was she not supposed to look at Sharon like that now? Despite her warning and her general attitude, Brenda swore she saw a small smirk playing on Sharon’s lips. She was enjoying Brenda’s predicament just a little.

 

Damn her. The next time they were in bed, Brenda would get her for that.

Chapter Text

Chrisjen kissed like sin and it made Bobbie all the more desperate to get her naked and underneath her, to see if she could get the Secretary-General to cry out her name. Or Cotyar’s, she wasn’t picky. Despite, or maybe because of, their constant bickering, they worked shockingly well together in bed.

 

Bobbie tried to pull apart this ridiculous outfit and could feel Cotyar struggling as well. It was layers of silk and sheer fabric, with invisible zippers and an abundance of embroidered appliques. Before, when she had worn that Razorback flightsuit or a robe, it had been easy. This was frustratingly difficult. Bobbie could have sworn it was made to just not be removed at all.

 

“This thing is impossible. Take it off,” Bobbie growled and she could hear Cotyar chuckle as he kissed Chrisjen’s neck, her shoulder.

 

“Excuse me, this thing?” Chrisjen looked mildly offended. Bobbie had no doubt it was a ridiculously expensive outfit, but it was in their way. Chrisjen’s expression slipped when Cotyar nipped at a particularly sensitive spot and she let out a low moan that settled right between Bobbie’s thighs.

 

“You heard me. Take. It. Off. Or I’ll tear it off you.”

 

“I wouldn’t mind watching that,” Cotyar commented, his hands sliding over Chrisjen’s ribs, until he cupped her breasts, squeezing the soft flesh. She leaned back against him, fingers digging in Bobbie’s upper arms.

 

“Would you mind buying me a new sari?” Chrisjen snapped, looking up over her shoulder at him. Cotyar grinned, but wisely shook his head. Bobbie didn’t think he could afford that in this lifetime, or the next three added together. “Then shut the fuck up.”

 

Chrisjen was efficient as she started to remove all of the layers, unwrapping herself for Bobbie’s and Cotyar’s hungry eyes. Her long fingers found hooks and zippers that Bobbie could have sworn hadn’t been there when she had run her hands over those same places. It wasn’t sexy, it wasn’t meant to be anyway, but it still turned on to watch Chrisjen methodically work her way out of the delicate top, exposing an equally delicate bra.

 

Bobbie still had no fucking clue how she had removed it, she didn’t care much. There was suddenly so much more soft skin to touch, her patience disappeared and she closed the small distance between them and kissed her again, grateful that Cotyar had taken it upon himself to get rid of Chrisjen’s bra. It only served as encouragement for Bobbie to duck down and scrape her teeth over the sensitive skin.

 

“You are being very distracting,” Chrisjen muttered, her voice lower than usual as Bobbie sucked on a hard nipple. Her fingers trembled as she struggled with the fastenings of her skirt, another tiny zipper with an even tinier hook. She managed, eventually, cursing the garment into the next century.

 

“I thought you were good at multi-tasking,” Cotyar quipped as Bobbie sunk to her knees to pull the skirt further down and take Chrisjen’s underwear with it, leaving the Earther completely naked and practically shaking with need. Bobbie had never seen her quite like this before. Usually Chrisjen kept some semblance of control, calling the shots even while naked, but this time she and Cotyar had decided to gang up on the Secretary-General, to see how far they could push it.

 

Without warning, Bobbie picked Chrisjen up and rather unceremoniously dropped her onto the bed. As she looked up at the two people who were shamelessly staring at her, Chrisjen frowned. “Why the fuck are you two still fully dressed?”

 

The woman was naked and had two people ready to fuck her brains out and still she found something to be displeased about. Figures. Bobbie looked at Cotyar who just shrugged and crawled on the bed. Bobbie settled between Chrisjen thighs when she heard him speak. “Stop talking and - -”

 

“- - just let us fuck you.”

Chapter Text

It was the exact same shade as the trees that surrounded Chrisjen’s house. A sort of deep, rich color that almost seemed to vibrate with life. Or maybe that was only because Bobbie could now finally associate it with something other than pictures and dreams. She had now seen trees and plants that were just there, not for food or oxygen, but just there, as nature. Green would never be the same again.

 

“Arjun says he misses you. Or rather the way you seemed to be the only one who would talk back to me,” Chrisjen said with a softness in her voice and Bobbie managed to look back up at the older woman’s face. She missed the kind, old man as well, but it paled in comparison how much she missed Chrisjen. She almost regretted leaving her. Not being able to talk to her directly without a delay, being able to touch her, it was harder than she had expected.

 

Bobbie watched the message, watched how the green silk shimmered with every movement Chrisjen made, how the emerald on her finger glittered as it caught the light. Bobbie ignored the stab of sadness she felt at the memory of Chrisjen teaching how to remove her complicated outfits. She had never worn this color though. It looked good on her. Despite the deepened lines on her face, the dark circles under her eyes that not even make up could hide, it made her look regal, full of life.  

 

“And Bobbie, don’t do anything stupid.” Bobbie smiled at the typical Avasarala goodbye. Those messages, short or long, always brought a little brightness for to her day. No matter how much Mars, and the MMC, was her home, she missed the short, foul-mouthed politician and her colorful clothes. Here she just had Martian red, no gold or deep purple, no bright orange or rich greens.

 

Here she was surrounded by blacks and greys, by Martians who still had trouble understanding why one of their own seemed to be receiving messages on the regular from someone whose face they had used as target practice not too long ago. Bobbie never bothered to even try to explain it to them. Her business with the leader of Earth was her own.

 

With a shake of her head, Bobbie hit reply. No need to keep the Secretary-General waiting. “I like your sari. Reminds me of Earth.”

Chapter Text

Suddenly it was everywhere. In the artificially colored grass (who even had healthy looking lawn during a drought in LA), in the ever-present palm trees. It was the shoes of the latest murder victim, Flynn’s new health kick inspired salad, in Taylor’s hideous ties. It was the silk scarf she briefly entertained buying, until she saw the price tag, some woman jogging with a kale smoothie.

 

But mostly it was there when Sharon looked at her, behind dark-rimmed glasses, annoyance in her eyes when they were once again arguing, when she smiled at her over a glass of wine. It was there right before Sharon kissed her and right after Brenda had made her come. She could still picture it when she went home to Fritz.

 

“What are you thinking?” Sharon asked, fingers running over Brenda’s back. There it was again, that beautiful vibrant color. Right there, looking at her, as their heartrates slowed back to a normal rhythm and the sweat on their skin was drying.

 

“Nothin’. You have pretty eyes.” Sharon looked at her for a moment as if that had been the last thing she had expected and then she smiled, a genuine smile that made Brenda feel warm inside.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“I never really paid that much attention to green. Y’know when someone you know gets pregnant and suddenly there’s pregnant women everywhere? It’s like that. There’s just green everywhere.” Sharon’s expression changed slightly. A tightness in the corners of her mouth, a sudden hint of sadness in her eyes. Brenda swallowed heavily. She had said too much, made it too romantic instead of the ‘it’s just sex, Brenda Leigh’ agreement they had once made, an agreement that they were both regretting, but were well aware of couldn’t be any other way.

 

Sharon tangled her fingers in Brenda’s hair and pulled her closer, the green in her eyes different somehow. “Yes, I know exactly what that’s like.” The words were whispered against Brenda’s lips before she was pulled down into a kiss, unable to see the longing for what she couldn’t have in those green eyes any longer.

Chapter Text

His knees hit the deck and she swore she could hear the satisfying clunk echoing in what would be his cell until they got to Luna. There was contempt in his eyes, as he recognized just what she was wearing. The skin of her enemy indeed.

 

Chrisjen vividly remembered the feeling when she thought Eros was going to end Earth, the gun being waved in her face, the hybrids launching, Bobbie going suicidal, a list of personal losses as long as her arm, Cotyar… And almost all it could be traced back to him, the business titan of the system whose greed had outweighed everything.

 

She imagined, for a moment, digging her nails into his skin, ripping him apart piece by fucking piece, making sure he would feel the pain of it every second of the way. A white-hot rage pulsed through her veins. He nearly destroyed everything, he was the cause of so much loss, he deserved to suffer. And just in this moment, she wanted to be the one to inflict it, to hear his screams, to taste his blood.

 

But this wasn’t a game of instant gratification. A bloody end would be just that, an end. Mao needed to wither away slowly, knowing just what he had lost. Chrisjen took a step closer, forcing him to look up at her.

 

“I told Sadavir what I would do to your family if they failed to cooperate. Trust me when I say, they will all be ashamed to carry the Mao name for next century.” Her voice was surprisingly calm, despite the whirlwind of hatred in she felt. Mao did a decent job of pretending not to be impressed. She smiled at him, the kind of smile to told the other person they were fucked.

 

“Children, Jules-Pierre? Your own daughter? You’re a waste of fucking space. I will take everything you hold dear away and bury you in a hole so deep you’ll never see daylight again.” She didn’t wait for a reaction, didn’t look at Holden. She was done. It wasn’t until Chrisjen stepped outside that she noticed she had been clenching her fists so hard, her nails had cut into her palms. It had been a long time since she had let anger get a hold of her like that.

 

Then again, it had been a long time since someone had tried to destroy everything she cared for.

Chapter Text

“Cheers, Marine,” Cotyar said as he slid a glass of some unrecognizable liquor in front of her. She sniffed it. At least it was strong. It would definitely help numb the residual pain she still felt from her fight with the hybrid and her less than soft-landing on the surface of Io.

 

“What are we toasting to then?”

 

“Saving the universe, not dying, keeping Her Excellency alive and mostly happy.” Cotyar shot her a knowing look as he clinked his glass against hers and Bobbie groaned. She was not in the mood to deal with that particular weak spot of hers right now.

 

“Don’t. Just don’t. I like being out with just you for a change. It’s so much less…complicated.” It was nice. Despite their dislike at first, she had grown to like the Earther. The relief she had felt when his ass had been saved from the Agatha King had been almost as big as when the hybrids had been stopped from destroying Mars. Of course, it helped that she had never seen Chrisjen that happy and that angry, at the same time, either.

 

“That’s true. My headache is gone all of a sudden.” Bobbie snorted, her drink nearly coming out of her nose. Oh please. He kept his cards insanely close to his chest, but she had noticed he was harboring similar feelings towards the politician as she did. She had seen his face when Chrisjen had thrown her arms around him, after she had punched his chest, when he had come back alive. He had it bad.

 

“Don’t even pretend you haven’t thought about fucking her as well, Spy,” she threw at him. Cotyar raised an eyebrow and gave her that damn ‘I’m being mysterious’ smile.  

 

“I might admit to that after a drink or ten. I might also make some questionable decisions at that point.” He didn’t bother hiding what he meant, his eyes travelling over her body. Huh. She hadn’t really considered it before, but now that he was indirectly offering, she definitely wasn’t opposed. In fact, she would very much like that. A good, hard fuck was just what she needed after everything. It might even get rid of their mutual frustration over Chrisjen, for a while anyway.

 

“I don’t think you’ll be needing ten drinks for that.”

Chapter Text

She always enjoyed this part of the day, no matter how short. Most days she didn’t even get to experience it, some emergency waking her up fully before she had gotten to the stage of not asleep, not quite awake either. But this feeling, warm and comfortable, Chrisjen liked it and she tried to hold on to it as long as possible before she had to get up and the whole shitfest started again.

 

Someone behind her moaned softly and an arm tightened around her waist. Slowly a part of Chrisjen’s brain woke up enough to realize that she was naked and so was the person currently curled around her. Someone tall and strong, and female if the tits were an indication. Bobbie. The powerful Martian who had turned out to be a cuddler much to her surprise.

 

Cracking open an eye, she could see it was still dark out. Good. That gave another hour, maybe two at the most before she definitely had to get up and face the fucking music. Chrisjen was ready to enjoy this weird limbo for a long time when she noticed a person next to her in the darkness. She smiled. Cotyar.

 

That definitely explained why the muscles in her thighs ached and why the leg between her own felt hairier than Bobbie’s should have. She wasn’t exactly a stranger to waking up next to people who weren’t her husband, but they weren’t usually her employees, nor were they quite so vigorous. The two of them had been relentless, as if they had wanted to fuck her annoyance with everybody and anybody in government out of her. They had mostly succeeded.

 

“You should sleep,” Cotyar whispered and Chrisjen didn’t even want to know how he knew she was awake.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Mind your own fucking business,” she muttered, sleep already pulling on her again. She heard his soft chuckle and his hand settled on her hip, but it barely registered. The edges were going fuzzy and she wouldn’t be awake for much longer. Burrowing deeper into the bed, as much as was possible when two damn giants had trapped her, she let sleep overtake her. It wasn’t often she was allowed to enjoy moments like these.

Chapter Text

“There you are.” Chrisjen’s voice floated towards her in the quiet of the night. Bobbie didn’t move from her comfortable and secluded position. The grass was still warm from the summer sun and the view wasn’t half bad either. She liked the way the calm of the outdoors was filled with soft sounds of insects and the wind moving through trees, the impossible freedom of just having breathable air and no domes to stare at as she looked up at the sky.

 

It became better when Chrisjen settled beside her, the turquoise fabric rustling as she lay down, close enough that her bare arm brushed against Bobbie’s. It relaxed her to know that Chrisjen was home, that she was safe. Instinctively Bobbie took Chrisjen’s hand, intertwining their fingers. The thought that soon, she’d be back on Mars, getting ready to be shipped out, was a strange one. She wouldn’t be able do this any of this anymore.

 

“I’m going to miss this,” she said, quietly. As if on cue a drone flew over them, disturbing their little peace and quiet. There was always one or two hovering near them, though usually they never pulled crap like that. They had a great dual purpose of protecting Chrisjen and making sure Bobbie was jeopardizing the security of earth. Chrisjen scoffed.

 

“You’re going to miss the drones constantly on your ass and mine?” Her tone betrayed that whoever had been responsible for that, was going to regret it come morning. Bobbie glanced at her from the corner of her eye, her profile illuminated by the starlight and the moon. She’d already taken off her jewelry and let her hair out of its intricate updo.

 

“You know what I mean.” Chrisjen sighed and softly squeezed her hand. She had been the one to ensure that she was reinstated in the MMC, arranged her way home, but they had been excellent at avoiding the conversation about what this actually meant for them. And they probably would until she as gone. Some things were better left unsaid.

 

“I do.” Bobbie turned her head fully. Chrisjen was already looking at her, her expression soft, open. “If you ever get tired of looking at the stars from under a dome or from the inside of a power armor, this will still be here.”

 

“I never really was one for stargazing.” Chrisjen frowned, that adorable pout making an appearance. Bobbie rolled on her side and looked down at her. She truly wasn’t one for stargazing, she had already spent so much time among them. But she could marvel at Earth, see the dream for Mars. And she could look at Chrisjen for hours, to be caught in her gravity, that was more up her alley. “But I’ll come back for you.”

 

As Bobbie leaned down to kiss her, she realized that she would. She wouldn’t ever settle on Earth, it wasn’t her home. But she would return here, for her. Chrisjen’s hand was on her jaw as they kissed, her palm soft and cool. Chrisjen was smiling when Bobbie pulled back, thumb brushing over Bobbie’s cheekbone. “Good.”

Chapter Text

All of her muscles still ached, her skin was still an interesting combination of her own skin color mixed with a myriad of colors ranging from dark purple to a sickly green, and she swore she could still feel the impact of landing flat on her back on the surface of Io every time she inhaled, but she was alive. The hybrid was dead and she was alive. Mars, Earth, the Belt, they were safe, for now. The pain was worth it.

 

The pain all seemed to be less present anyway as she lay on Chrisjen’s bunk, an arm wrapped around the smaller woman. She could feel her breathing, her hair tickling her nose, long fingers covering her own, carefully tracing the black and blue marks on Bobbie’s skin.

 

“Don’t ever do that to me again.” Bobbie exhaled slowly. Going after the hybrid, she had needed to do that. For her team, for her peace of mind and Chrisjen knew that. But Chrisjen had been alone on the ship, watching as Bobbie nearly died. It must have been torture. It must have been similar to what Bobbie had felt, when the Razorback’s computer had told her the bleeding in Chrisjen’s brain was becoming critical and there was nothing she could do but hope that their rescuers could save her.

 

“I’ll try,” she replied quietly, tightening her hold slightly. It was the best she could do.

 

“I can’t lose you too.” The words were whispered, almost inaudible, but Bobbie still felt as if she had been doused with cold water. She knew Chrisjen wasn’t crying. She could will the tears in her eyes not to fall, but Bobbie could still hear them in her voice. Sometimes it was easy to think that the only ones who lost people to this war were people like herself, soldiers, and their families. But as powerful as she was, it had cost Chrisjen a lot of lives before she had managed to put an end to it. Assets, colleagues, friends, Cotyar.

 

Bobbie curled just a little more around her. She hadn’t known the spy nearly as long as Chrisjen, but even she was mourning him. She missed him. She couldn’t promise that Chrisjen wouldn’t ever lose her as well, especially while still wearing the evidence of her latest life-risking movie, but she could be here for her now.

 

Somehow, Chrisjen managed to turn around in the limited space, slipping an arm underneath Bobbie’s to wrap around her ribs. She felt even smaller like this, practically clinging to Bobbie, a hand over her heart just to feel it beating. Bobbie could feel her breath against her face, felt its shakiness. Chrisjen’s voice was so soft when she spoke again, Bobbie wasn’t entirely sure she had heard it in the first place. “Don’t let go.”

 

Vulnerable was the only word Bobbie could think of and it wasn’t a term she liked to associate with Chrisjen. But here, right now, it was appropriate and it left Bobbie at a loss for words. She didn’t know what to do with a vulnerable Chrisjen, other than hold her close and not let go for as long as she wanted, for as long as time permitted, hold her until the next disaster, until she was the woman who was going to be in charge of Earth.

Chapter Text

“You’re amazing,” Sharon muttered a little breathless as Brenda crawled up her body, the pleasant buzz of the orgasm Brenda had just given her still pulsing through her veins. She hummed low in her throat when Brenda kissed her slowly, letting her taste herself on her lips and her tongue. Trailing her fingers down the blonde’s spine, she held her close, reveling in the skin to skin contact.

 

Brenda broke the kiss, smiled down and gave her another quick kiss before she rolled off Sharon and curled around her, a leg thrown over her hips. A deceptively warm feeling settled in Sharon’s stomach and she couldn’t help but marvel at the fact how far they had come from fighting over crime scenes, to fucking to having a full-blown affair where they were just so comfortable with each other. It had just seemed a natural evolution to their relationship. Sharon tried not to think about being the other woman too often.

 

“This is nice. Wish it could be like this more often,” Brenda said, tracing nonsensical pattern on Sharon’s abdomen and ribs, apparently unaware what her words did with Sharon who tried to keep her reaction to a minimum. Brenda did this. She made some innocent remark about wanting to spend more time with Sharon, saying how much she loved it when they saw each other. But she didn’t realize the longer this affair went on, the more it hurt to hear that.

 

Sharon knew that Brenda wasn’t going to leave Fritz, the thought had probably never even occurred to her and Sharon wouldn’t ever ask that of her. But that didn’t mean she didn’t secretly wish it would happen. Whenever Brenda gave her a glimpse of what would never happen, it hurt and it hurt more every time. It was probably a sign she ought to break this off, but she just couldn’t give Brenda up yet.

 

“Yes,” she said, somehow managing to keep her voice calm. “This is nice.”

 

Brenda smiled and rested her head against Sharon’s shoulder, completely oblivious of what she was doing to her. It was maybe for the best. The blonde was shockingly terrible at dealing with emotions. It was better that Sharon kept this to herself. She could keep a handle on this, compartmentalizing was what she did. She would deal with this and when she couldn’t anymore, she would get out, before she got in too deep.

 

Brenda sighed happily and Sharon felt her heart clench. If it wasn’t too late for that already.

Chapter Text

“They need to find out if you’re on board, so we’ll be alright.” At least Cotyar hoped so. Mao and Errinwright were also actively trying to assassinate the woman two steps removed from running the planet. Blowing up a transport bearing their own flag, it wasn’t outside of the realm of possibilities. Chrisjen agreed with him, the way she dramatically rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

 

“If that is supposed to comfort me, I can tell you with certainty, you’ve failed.” He tried to smile, but it was probably more of a grimace. His free hand moved towards his barely fixed gunshot wound, pain radiating from it. A flash of worry crossed over Chrisjen’s face and he saw her fingers curl tighter around the antibiotics she had brought with her. He kind of wished she had taken a few painkillers as well.

 

“You didn’t hire me to comfort you,” Cotyar countered with a somewhat light tone, but where he had hoped that she might give him the kind of smile that didn’t reach her eyes, she just looked tired, leaning against the bulkhead. Tired, apprehensive, maybe even scared. He was aware of her hatred for space, the fact that missiles were flying at them probably wasn’t helping much. Cotyar put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Bobbie will get you out of here.”

 

“That isn’t a gunship. Once they figure out I’m on board, we’ll be fucked. They’ll blow us both to kingdom come.” Cotyar wished he could say she were wrong. Her chances, any of their chances weren’t good. But she was an Avasarala. If anyone could somehow find a way out of the impossible, it was her. And she had Bobbie.

 

“You have a Martian marine, the toughest thing in the solar system. Once they accept a job, they won’t quit until it’s done.”

 

“And here I thought you were the same.” There wasn’t any malice behind her words. It was just her way of driving her point home that she hated leaving him behind. Cotyar sighed, pain shooting through his body. Going faster than 1G would tear him apart, if he didn’t pass out beforehand. He hated not being able to go with her as much as she did.

 

“This is as far as I can go with you,” he managed with a clenched jaw. Chrisjen looked up at him, a sadness in her eyes that he couldn’t quite cope with at the moment. He preferred her angry or scheming, anything other than not ready to say goodbye. He moved his hand up to cup her jaw. It made his wound ache even more and he gritted his teeth, but tried to give her a smile anyway. “I’ll pay off my debt the next time.”

 

Chrisjen shook her head slightly and opened her mouth to argue with him, but a loud clanging interrupted her. Theo had his face plastered to the window of the locked door. Bobbie must have succeeded in whatever she had planned to do which probably involved walking on the outside of a moving ship. She’d be exactly right to keep Chrisjen safe after he was gone.

Chapter Text

Chrisjen rubbed the back of her neck. She hated this. She hated all of it. From being in charge of Earth to knowing that the protomolecule had been designed by some ancient civilization and had somehow led to there now being gates to different universes. Or different parts of this universe. It didn’t fucking matter. It would lead to complete chaos either way.

 

Her hand terminal beeped with a new message. Chrisjen frowned. It was well past midnight. She had even sent her assistants home and no one from Mars or the Belt would message her on that channel. All horrifying thoughts that something had happened to her family disappeared when she saw its sender. Roberta W. Draper. She smiled and threw it up on the big screen. It had been too long and she had missed the Martian’s face.

 

“Hey, it’s been a while.” Chrisjen snorted. A few weeks qualified as a while she supposed. It was still too long, but she understood. “But I recorded messages to you during that time. So if you have the time, strap in. There are a few.”

 

She shook her head at that. Leave it to the pragmatic Martian to record messages like unsent love letters during an unprecedented situation. But she poured herself a few fingers of scotch and settled in, legs curled underneath her. Bobbie’s face appeared again, more polished this time, in her MMC uniform.  

 

“…I know I’ve said it before, but again, thank you for getting me reinstated. I don’t think I could have handled sitting on the sidelines, especially for this. This ring, it’s something else. Everybody is fighting over what the hell it is and no one has a clue. I wish I could tell you that I think this is going to end well...” Chrisjen listened to Bobbie talk, just thinking how much easier it had been before they knew what was on the other side of the ring. Now that they did, Chrisjen had to agree with her, it was going to end well.

 

“…If you think you hate space, you haven’t been to Slow Zone. It even gives me the creeps. You would despise it. It’s also a fucking mess. But Earthers, Belters, Martians, we’re actually working together for once. It’s probably not going to last, but it’s interesting to see…” She had read the reports, seen the vids. It had taken a lot of people dying without a visible enemy for the three of them to finally work together. Humanity was a fucked up species, but at least Chrisjen felt as if that was the one good thing to come out of this. And she could use it to her advantage.

 

The next image was Bobbie in a frightfully familiar place that Chrisjen didn’t link with any good memories. She had known Bobbie was on the Rocinante now. She had not known that she ended up in sickbay. “…Okay, don’t worry, I’m fine. I got shot, but I’m fine. I also maybe defected, again. And I don’t think even you can fix this. I don’t think I want you to. Being on the Roci, it feels right to me. And Holden, usually comes out on the right side of whatever situation he finds himself in. I think I like that…”

 

Chrisjen had to pause it there. Shot. She was a marine, there was always a decent chance she was going to get hurt. But knowing she actually got hurt was so much worse. She inhaled and exhaled slowly. At least Bobbie hadn’t lied to her, hidden the truth. But the Martian was on the other side of the system and she really needed her to be closer. If only to hug her, see and feel for herself that Bobbie was alright.

 

“…You’re probably buried in work and trying to figure all of this out. But Chrisjen, don’t forget to take some time for yourself. I can’t say when I’ll see you again, but I miss you, every day...”

 

Her glass was empty and despite knowing that Bobbie had been hurt, she felt lighter than she had in weeks. She missed Bobbie as well, every day. There weren’t a lot of people that broke down her defenses like that. But the Martian had. With a last look, she swiped Bobbie’s smiling face away and prepared herself to record a reply.

 

Chapter Text

A stumble outside the door tore Chrisjen’s attention away from her handheld. She frowned when she heard what sounded like a body falling against the door and was relieved when it actually stayed shut.

 

“For fuck’s sake, Alex.” Bobbie sounded both amused and annoyed and the shuffle of uncoordinated footsteps disappeared. Their time on Tycho must have been fun. Chrisjen returned to her work, trying to cut her way through what seemed like an endless stream of messages when the door to her, no, their quarters opened and a disheveled but steady looking Bobbie appeared.

 

“Shit. Sorry for the ruckus. Alex cannot handle his liquor.” The smell of a bar clung to Bobbie’s clothes and she immediately started stripping out of them. Chrisjen didn’t bother hiding that she appreciated the long limbs and the strong muscles that appeared before her and Bobbie smirked at her.

 

“So I gathered. It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway. Even with an idiotically long delay, they still manage to heap all their fucking shit on me.” Chrisjen sighed and ran a hand over her face, tossing the device towards the foot of the bunk and adjusting the blanket. “Did you at least have fun amongst the Belters?”

 

Dressed in a tanktop and shorts Bobbie sat on the edge of Chrisjen’s bunk, picking up the hand terminal and stowing it before turning her attention back on Chrisjen. “We did. Felt good to let loose for once. You should have come.”

 

Chrisjen snorted and tried picturing herself on Tycho, much less in a bar. All the scenarios ended in an assassination attempt, even with Bobbie as her bodyguard. “No thank you. My days of clubbing are over and on a station filled with Belters they never existed.”

 

“And here I was hoping you could show me a good time when we get to Earth.” Bobbie tugged her blanket down a little, enough to expose her breasts and Chrisjen saw a mischievous twinkle in her eyes when Bobbie noticed that she wasn’t wearing a shirt. Chrisjen snagged the straps of Bobbie top and pulled her closer.

 

“When I’m not busy running the fucking planet, I’ll show you a good time.” She captured Bobbie’s lips in a searing kiss, tasting some not quite awful Belter liquor on her tongue. “And we won’t even have to leave the house.”

Chapter Text

The rush of adrenaline at almost dying and then being rescued by a Martian in shining power armor hadn’t quite worn off when behind her, Cotyar groaned. Chrisjen released Bobbie’s hand and whipped around to see him doubling over in pain, his hand against his wound. She was at his side in a second, covering his hand with her own, letting him lean against her.

 

“We need to get that fixed.” Bobbie nodded and went in search of a medkit. The sound her armor made was no less impressive when she wasn’t taking down men like they were made of paper. She fixed her attention back on Cotyar.

 

“Don’t worry about me. Worry about getting off this ship.”

 

“Shut up. I can do both.” And she was counting on Bobbie to find them a way of this over decorated flying perfume bottle. Cotyar swayed a little and she gritted her teeth trying to hold him up. Despite his earlier antics at trying to sell her out, or at least pretending to, she still cared about him and she wasn’t about to let him die protecting her. “You need to lie down before you collapse where you stand.”

 

The words had barely left her mouth or his face turned a sickening shade of pale and his legs gave out underneath him. Chrisjen grunted and felt her knees buckle under the sudden weight. Shit. He had been heavy when he was still able to hold himself up, now she gave herself about five seconds or they’d both be on the floor.

 

“Oh fuck.” She thought about calling out to Bobbie, but before she could fully process it, the floor was approaching very fast. By some miracle, she landed on her ass with Cotyar half on top of her. With a grunt, she managed to move him into her lap. She felt like she was covered in his blood and for a moment, she could feel tears sting in her eyes.

 

Goddammit. He had warned her, several times and yet he was the one dying. She placed a trembling hand against his head. He looked terrible and she couldn’t really clear her mind enough at the moment to think of a way out of this situation. “Don’t you dare die on me.”

Chapter Text

“Next time an Earther marine thinks they can take me, please tell them I beat three of them with ease,” Bobbie announced, flopping down on the sofa as she inspected her bruised knuckles. Honestly, the Blues weren’t incompetent, they just weren’t Martians. But sparring with them had been fun.

“I don’t recall giving you permission to fight my marines. Or give them permission to fight you.”

“It wasn’t fighting. It was sparring and one of them dared me. I don’t back away from a challenge. Well, it wasn’t much of a challenge. You should send them to Mars some time. Let them feel a proper training.” Chrisjen blinked and when she realized that Bobbie wasn’t kidding, she laughed, a full proper laugh. Bobbie stared at her, realizing that she had never actually heard Chrisjen laugh.

“I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you. I was just picturing the generals’ faces when I propose we sent our marines to Mars to train. The fuckers will think I have lost it.” Bobbie chuckled, letting the sound of Chrisjen’s laugh wash over her. Even though she was dressed up in all her riches, sitting behind that ridiculous desk, she didn’t look like she had the lives of billions of people weighing on her shoulders, she just looked happy.

“I like your laugh. I’ve never heard it before.” Chrisjen looked at her, a smile still on her lips as she rubbed her thumb over the large silver ring on her ring finger, something Bobbie noticed she did when she was contemplative. Or when something suddenly became a little too personal.

“Not much to laugh about these days.” Bobbie couldn’t really argue with that, especially with the position Chrisjen was in, so she shrugged. At least the smile hadn’t completely disappeared from her face.

“I suppose not.

“But I do want to say thank you.” Bobbie frowned and sat up. Chrisjen had a soft expression on her face and it reminded her of the look she had given her back when Bobbie had first defected. It almost seemed like years ago.

“For what?”

“Making me laugh. Doesn’t hurt to do that every once in a while.”

Chapter Text

“Brenda Leigh…” Sharon sighed, rubbing her forehead as she watched her lieutenants and detectives work on the other side of the glass. It had been several months now and she was still getting used to the fact that this was her team now, her unit to lead. At least that period of adjustment extended to her team as well. They were all missing the blonde with the charming accent and questionable taste in clothes.

 

Well, some a little less than others.

 

“I don’t mean tonight, maybe tomorrow if you’ve wrapped up your case. I just miss you.” Sharon could easily picture her on the other end of the line, sitting on her couch that Sharon had told her to replace because it really didn’t suit the apartment she had moved into. She’d offered to help her decorate, but never actually managed to make that offer reality with the new job and a teenager living at her place.

 

“I miss you too. But it’s not just work, I have Rusty at home as well.”

 

“And you’re still not ready to tell him you and I are dating.” While their relationship was getting a little better, she didn’t think he would react well to the fact she was seeing Brenda and had been for a couple of months. Knowing him, he’d probably see it as a betrayal of his trust. She needed him less skittish and more able to believe that she wouldn’t abandon him at the first sign of trouble. Maybe then she’d be okay with telling him about her and Brenda.

 

“I am not.”

 

“Alright, so I’ll meet you halfway. Lunch tomorrow at your office.” Sharon looked at Provenza and Andy. She didn’t know if Brenda kept in contact with them. She didn’t ask either. Despite the difficulty of the situation, she tried to keep her work and Brenda separate, for now. If they all had weekly lunches together, she didn’t have a clue and it was probably for the best.

 

“Are you sure you want to come here?” With the way Brenda had left, her old team and her soon to be ex-husband walking around the building, it didn’t seem like the greatest plan, but she wasn’t one to judge. If Brenda wanted to face all of that to see her, she wasn’t going to stop her, per se. But the short silence told her that Brenda hadn’t considered it at all and was doing so now. Some things never changed, like her ability to so completely focus on her goal, that she forgot everything else.

 

“Right. Maybe not. So that little Italian place right around the corner. You can’t bury yourself in work, Sharon.” Sharon couldn’t help but let out a wry chuckle at that.

 

“Says you.”

 

“Exactly, who better to tell you? So, it’s a date?”

 

Sharon paused for a moment, smiling when she saw Rusty appear with Buzz discussing something. “It’s a date.”

Chapter Text

Bobbie had to bite her bottom lip when Chrisjen appeared in the vac suit, looking uncomfortable, annoyed and just about ready to have the person who so much as looked at her wrongly, murdered in a slow torturous way. Bobbie just thought she looked adorable in a suit that was maybe slightly too big for her.

 

“Not a fucking word,” she bit out when she caught Bobbie looking at her and Bobbie really couldn’t hold back the smile anymore. Chrisjen narrowed her eyes and Bobbie held up her hands.

 

“What? It looks good on you.” Okay maybe not good, but it was cute. Though she blamed about 50 percent of it being cute on Chrisjen’s pout. It was a small miracle there even was a vac suit aboard a Martian frigate close to her size to begin with. Bobbie stepped closer to her and started checking to make sure she had closed the whole thing properly.

 

“You are a terrible liar. And this was goddamn awful idea.”

 

Mildly impressed that she had actually done a perfect job putting the thing on Bobbie came around to face her and placed her hands on Chrisjen’s shoulders. She looked her straight in the eye. “I’ve seen you stare down men twice your size, you survived that crap on the Guanshiyin, in heels no less, and you helped stop the solar system from going to shit. You can handle a vac suit. And you can handle a spacewalk. You need to do it at least once in your life.”

 

“I don’t need to do anything. I know for certain that I mentioned I hate space. You know I really fucking hate space. Having nothing but a piece of fabric and a helmet between me and it, seems like the last thing I should do.”

 

“Come on, Your Excellency.” Chrisjen glared at her, already having told Bobbie about ten times that she hated that title which was kind of why Bobbie liked it so much. Bobbie just gave her a sweet smile and grabbed the helmet out of her hands and carefully moved it over Chrisjen’s head, clicking it into place. Chrisjen did not look any less pissed with it on and Bobbie pressed a quick kiss to the visor. “Alex is giving us a great view of Jupiter and we’ll see Europa, Io and Callisto if we’re lucky.”

 

“I’ll take you to see Europa and it won’t involve fucking vac suits or power armors.” Bobbie grinned and put her own helmet in place. Chrisjen crossed her arms in front of her chest and Bobbie could tell she was preparing herself.

 

Bobbie closed the door to the airlock and held out her hand. “I’ll hold you to that. But first, space.”

 

Chapter Text

Chrisjen groaned out a quiet fuck as she sank down on him, thanking whatever fucking god she had prayed to that morning that she had some lube on her. Even with the orgasm he had already given her, she had been nowhere near wet enough to take him or anyone really, and Jesus Christ, did she need this.

His hands were on her hips and she had the urge to pull them away, pin them beside his head. She didn’t mind him touching her, obviously, but Amos, even with highly inappropriate comments and his interest in whatever she was wearing, had something dangerous about him. She had seen men like him before, men who knew no fear, who had seen it all before and weren’t fazed by anything. He could hurt her so easily, if he wanted to.

Maybe that’s why she find herself with his cock inside her, her nails digging into his chest as she rolled her hips. He had something nobody she had ever fucked had had. And it just felt good to have someone she could fuck and it wouldn’t bring her any difficulties. Being the goddamn Secretary-General had severely limited her options of sleeping with people other than her husband. Amos had been easy, convenient, clearly interested in her and his mouth was more talented that she had expected. She’d be feeling the chafe of his beard on the inside of her thighs for days.

“Come on, Chrissie. You can do better than that.” He squeezed her hips and then had the fucking gall to smack her ass, not hard, but she narrowed her eyes anyway, digging her nails in a little harder.

“Fuck you, Burton,” she spat at him. His eyes closed for a moment, a moan falling from his lips. It didn’t deter him for long, the look in his eyes far too mischievous when he opened them again.

“I thought you were.” He thrust up into her, his hands holding her hips and ass tight enough that she wouldn’t be surprised if she found some bruises tomorrow. He looked so incredibly smug, the asshole, she resisted the urge to hurl another insult at him, knowing it would probably only spur him on. He had never made a secret of liking her choice of language. It also didn’t help she could still see the evidence of him eating her pussy in his beard.

“I immediately regret this decision,” Chrisjen muttered, without any venom, although she really did want to slap him for calling her Chrissie while being inside her, and Amos chuckled, squeezing her ass a little tighter. They had their rhythm now, it wasn’t soft or sweet, and she hadn’t wanted that either. She wanted to feel fucked and he seemed to get that, his thumb seeking out her clit, as she moved on his cock. She moaned, clenching around him, determined to make him come as well.

“You’re not the first person to say that to me.” He was starting to sound a little breathless and she smirked, even though he was fucking good at getting her off as well, circling her clit like a goddamn pro. Chrisjen clenched her jaw, trying to hold off, but he really was too good at this. She was well aware of the fact that she was panting, her hair having come undone, her nipples still aching from when he had sunk his teeth into them.

“Probably not the fucking last either,” she replied. Whatever smart retort he had ready, he never managed to say it as raked her nails down his chest and arched her back, letting this absolute brick of a man with the subtlety of a nuke to the face make her come again. She bit back a cry as her legs trembled and her knees ached. He didn’t stop moving his thumb, not even when he let out a groan and followed her over the edge.

She looked down at him, letting the last waves of her orgasm wash over her as she pushed his hand away from her pussy. He had his eyes closed, biting his bottom lip, muscles in his chest and arms tense. Ridiculous how easily he could snap her in half if he wanted to. She didn’t think she had ever fucked with someone quite as built as he was. There was definitely something in riding a man like that, making him come.

He opened his eyes and grinned at her. “Goddamn Chrissie.”

This time she did lightly slap his chest, where the red lines her nails had left behind stood out against his skin. “Don’t fucking call me that.”

Chapter Text

“Why do you want this?” Chrisjen sipped her gin-tonic and tilted her head. She knew she shouldn’t have done this, cleared the venue where Nancy was about to hold some campaign event, but with everything going on in the campaign, and mostly outside of it, she hadn’t had a chance to talk to Nancy and something in her, had pushed her to do this. To talk. To break with all informal rules and basically disrupt Nancy’s campaign. Just like she had expected, Nancy wasn’t shocked or impressed, almost as if she had known this would happen sooner or later.

“Why do you? You never wanted it in the first place.” Nancy crossed her long legs, hands folded in her lap. On the outside she looked calm, but the fact that she had just answered Chrisjen’s question with another question told her that she wasn’t feeling certain, not sure of Chrisjen’s motivations to be there. Chrisjen couldn’t blame her for the suspicion. It hadn’t exactly been a clean battle up until now.

“Because I will do anything to prevent the end of humanity, even if I have to do shitty job until the day I die.” Something she sincerely hoped wouldn’t be necessary. She hadn’t ever considered retirement, but the prospect of doing this job for a decade or more might cause her to seriously think about getting out of politics.

She just wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if the protomolecule reared its ugly head again and she could have prevented it.   

“And I will do my best to give the people of Earth a chance at a better future. A chance to get off basics, to get a job, to do something other than wait for an opportunity.” Chrisjen smiled and shook her head, downing the rest of her drink. Nancy’s lips thinned. “You don’t believe me.”

“I do, that’s the fucking problem.” She knew Nancy wanted the best for the people of Earth and once upon a time, Chrisjen had wanted that too. Her focus had shifted however, to wanting to protect the entirety of humanity. An impossible task that she had imposed upon herself and Holden, though how much he was aware of that, she didn’t know. “I know that you believe the Ring gate is our best option for the future. If the protomolecule didn’t scare the shit out of me, I’d maybe agree with you. So I will fight you, to the bitter end, even though I think you could make a formidable Secretary-General. If we didn’t disagree so fundamentally, I’d be making sure you won.”

It wasn’t a lie. She had always seen Nancy as a possible Secretary-General, would probably have pushed her forward as a candidate to run against Sorento-Gillis, if the coward hadn’t slinked off at the first sign of trouble without any of his advisors around. But Nancy’s expression had hardened, her hands tense in her lap. “What is this? What are you doing? Are you testing me? See if I respond in a way that gives you a weakness you can exploit?”

“No, hard is that is to believe.” Slowly she stood up, straightening her clothes. Nancy looked as if she wanted to stand up as well, use her height to her advantage, but she remained seated. Chrisjen gave her a small smile. “I don’t like what you stand for, but I like you. You’re young, smart, ambitious, not a some castrated bobblehead like Sorento-Gillis. This is me saying I wish the situation could be fucking different.”

“Thank you. I wish the situation were different too. Not the Ring gate. I wish it wasn’t you I were running against.” Chrisjen gently squeezed her shoulder when she walked past her and swept out of the hall. It was time to return to reality, being opponents once again. A single election decisive in what would be the future of humanity. What a fucking mess.

 

Chapter Text

Bobbie sighed and leaned back into the way too comfortable sofa that was situated in the luxury that was Chrisjen’s Luna home. She had seen her house on Earth. It was hard to believe some people were rich enough to own two enormous houses while some people wasted away on basic, a topic she had learned not to bring up, didn’t even want to bring up right now. She just felt tired and was glad to have a place away from the mess on Mars to relax.

“Drink. You look like you fucking need it.” Chrisjen waved a glass of scotch in front of her and Bobbie took it even if she wasn’t much of scotch drinker. It was liquor and with Chrisjen, sitting down next to her, her skin so warm and soft against her own, it was enough to settle some of the thoughts racing through her mind. Not enough to get rid of the weight resting heavily on her shoulders.

“I’m a fuck-up,” she said after a large sip of the nicest scotch she had ever had. Chrisjen scoffed and leaned closer to her, her head resting on Bobbie’s shoulder. Bobbie looked down at her, the inky black hair, the expression on her face soft, her fatigue showing without any makeup to hide it. The nightgown was new, at least Bobbie thought so. The woman probably owned on in ever color of the rainbow.

“If you’re a fuck-up, then what am I? Lost an election that should have been easy, caused the death of twelve marines and a few dozen Belters, and oh, failed to stop a fucking goldrush that will at best, empty the sol system, and at worst wake up some alien threat that will wipe out humanity.” Bobbie smiled and rested her cheek on top of Chrisjen’s head.

“You’re a colossal fuck-up.” Chrisjen let out a short laugh, placing a hand on Bobbie’s forearm. Bobbie wanted so badly to feel better, but Esai’s face, the Belter tattoos, the air rushing out around her, it was all burned into her memory and she couldn’t shake the overwhelming feeling of guilt that joined the images. “I should have done something. Anything. I should have tried harder to stop it.”

“It’s not your fault, Bobbie. There were a lot of moving pieces and if Belters managed to sway part of the Martian military, you couldn’t have stopped it. Fuck, I probably couldn’t have stopped it. We’ll be lucky if the two of us can figure out what the fuck is going on.”

“I should have been better. The dream of Mars is going to shit and I’m following close behind. Or maybe leading the charge. Who knows.” She watched how her fingers absentmindedly played with the rim of her glass. She wasn’t the type to be self-chastising, but then again, she had changed a lot. And she needed to put this feeling of helplessness somewhere. Chrisjen sighed and plucked the glass from her hand, putting it on the table, her fingers underneath Bobbie’s chin.

“Bobbie look at me. We all make mistakes. We’re human, we’re not perfect. You’re not perfect, god knows I’m not fucking perfect. But I wouldn’t change a thing about you.” There wasn’t a lie in Chrisjen’s dark eyes and Bobbie smiled, albeit a little sadly. Chrisjen returned it and leaned in to press a soft kiss against her lips. “So stop weighing yourself down. Without you, I wouldn’t know that the Belters were up to something. Now, we can figure what. Together.”

Bobbie traced her thumb over Chrisjen’s cheekbone and stole another kiss, making a little slower this time. “I’m still a fuck-up.”

“We’ll be fuck-ups together.” Chrisjen unceremoniously dropped her tumbler back in her hands, the liquor nearly sloshing over the rim. “Finish your scotch. I’m tired and I’d like to go to sleep with you next to me.”

Chapter Text

Chrisjen rubbed her temples, ignoring the beeping from her tablet. This job, this fucking job, she really wished she could just give it up and have someone else deal with the mess. Belters running the blockade and being shot down by the OPA, Earth colonizing ships being picked off by pirates. She knew this was going to happen from the moment she had gotten the report the Ring gates led to possible hundreds of habitable planets.

“Ma’am?” She looked up and found Nancy standing in her doorway. She had elected her as her Home Secretary because she knew how talented and hard-working she was. Once upon a time, long before alien shit had found its way onto the radar, the two of them had enjoyed a few days at some boring convention. Everything had been easier then. Nancy hadn’t brought up the night they had spent together, but there was something in her eyes that told Chrisjen she thought about it every time they went head to head.

“When I don’t respond to whatever text message I receive, there’s a reason for that.” The beginning of headache, the fact that people had been nagging at her the entire day and she had just wanted a moment of peace and quiet, as impossible as it seemed. Nancy didn’t seem deterred though, walking over to her desk, hands clasped behind her back, towering over her.

“Sorry, but I feel we should discuss the Ring gate.”

“Should we? You’re Home Secretary. You should concern yourself with the affairs of this planet. Let me worry about that fucking Ring.” Not like she did anything else these days. That Ring was on her mind pretty much every moment of every day. And sometimes it made its presence known in her nightmares.

“The people of this planet want to go through the Ring. That makes it my affair.”

Nancy had a look of determination on her face that once Chrisjen had found attractive, but now it just added to her headache. She had chosen her for that fire, she hadn’t foreseen it would become such a pain in her ass. Clearly she was slipping in her ability to read people. She placed her hands flat on her desk and clenched her jaw. “It’s not happening until I say it does. Clear enough?”

“Maybe you’re not seeing the necessity of opening up the Ring gate. Half of our population is on basic, we need other planets and asteroids to provide food and water to sustain us. This situation isn’t tenable. Those planets, they’re our hope. Chrisjen, please, this needs to be discussed.” Chrisjen widened her eyes, eyebrows raised at her first name. It was the first time Nancy had slipped and called her that. It was the wrong fucking moment. Nancy seemed to realize that as well, even before Chrisjen spoke.

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry, ma’am. I didn’t mean - -.”

“Please, shut up. Just shut up. It’s too goddamn dangerous. I’m not opening the Ring gates for colonization until I know it won’t wipe out my people. Now get out.” Nancy nodded curtly and walked towards the door only turning around when she had her hand on the handle.

“You’ve changed, Chrisjen.” Chrisjen pressed her lips together. Having an asteroid infected with something alien flying at one’s home planet would do that to a person. So would having the responsibility of said planet dumped on her shoulders. She just wasn’t sure if it was for the better or worse yet, but she wouldn’t admit that to anyone, let alone Nancy who only saw opportunities in the Ring, not death like Chrisjen did.

Once upon a time, Nancy and she had thought the same about many things. Eros had changed things. The Ring had changed things. And sometimes, that hurt. “So have you.”

 

Chapter Text

Bobbie blinked sleepily when she heard the bathroom door close and twisted to turn on the bedside lamp. Two am. She wasn’t even the Secretary-General anymore and she still worked insane hours. How she managed to do that, without drugs and with alcohol at her age, was a mystery to Bobbie. She heard a defeated sigh and looked at Chrisjen.

“There goes my fucking hope I could slip in without waking you.” Chrisjen had managed to come home, go into the bathroom, do her entire nightly routine without waking Bobbie. Next time Bobbie ought to tell she should wake her up. She liked seeing her when she came home, see the armor she put on everyday slip away. See hints of her humanity, the tiredness, the fear for another Eros, the loneliness even with Bobbie there.

“S’okay. I like knowing you’re back safe.” She rubbed her eyes with her palms and focused on Chrisjen and frowned. Normally she would be wearing something silky without any right to be that sexy, but she seemed to have swapped that for an oversized shirt with the faded emblem of Bobbie’s former basketball team on the front. “Hang on. Is that my shirt?”

“I do believe that it is.” Bobbie pushed herself up on her elbows to get a proper look at her. Chrisjen was wearing her worn, probably a decade old shirt that had a whole in one of the armpits. She had never thrown it away, and had only brought it with her because she didn’t know when she’d be able to return to Mars. Chrisjen, the woman who had more clothes than god, was wearing that piece of clothing and clearly nothing else.

“You have like a hundred nightgowns, silk nightgowns.” It was only a guess, but she had seen about a dozen different nightgowns in the time they had spent together, back on Earth and here on Luna. It made no sense to her that Chrisjen would choose that luxury over an old shirt, even if she did look kinda hot in it. Chrisjen simply shrugged and slipped underneath the covers.

“I do.”

“So why - -.”

“Because I saw it and it looked comfortable. It smells like you.” Bobbie wanted to say something about the two of them sharing a bed and how Chrisjen didn’t need an old shirt that smelled like her when they were together, but she kept her mouth shut. She could read between the lines. This was Chrisjen’s way of saying she had now claimed the shirt for whenever Bobbie inevitably needed to leave her again.

Chrisjen leaned over her and captured her lips in a slow kiss, her tongue teasing until Bobbie parted her lips and she could deepen the kiss. Bobbie ran a hand through her hair before wrapping her arms around her and pulling her down on top of her. They weren’t going to have sex, that much was clear. She could feel the fatigue in Chrisjen, but it felt good to hold her, have her warm weight on top of her, even if it felt lighter than it had on Earth.

“You need to sleep,” Bobbie whispered against her lips. Chrisjen groaned and pressed another quick kiss to her lips.

“I don’t fucking need anything. But I won’t say no to a solid five hours of sleep.” Her movements were slow as she moved off Bobbie and landed not so gracefully on her side, gesturing for Bobbie to wrap an arm around her waist. Bobbie just rolled her eyes and moved closer to her, kissing the back of her neck as she ran her fingers up Chrisjen’s thigh over her hips before sliding her hand to her stomach and curling herself around her.

“Stubborn, old woman,” she muttered into her hair before moving to quickly shut off the light. Chrisjen hummed and settled against her.

“Damn straight.”

Chapter Text

Bobbie had to hold back a laugh when she heard yet another string of curses, or at least, she assumed that was what Chrisjen was saying since she had long since stopped hurling her insults in English. She caught Chrisjen’s eye and with real conviction Chrisjen spat something in French at her as she did another leg press. Bobbie had never met anyone who hated working out as much as Chrisjen did.

“You can complain and pout all you want, I’m still going to drag you down here as often as possible until you go back to Earth.” Which for now, was still unclear. Peace talks between Earth and Mars, despite the way they had bonded under the fear of the protomolecule and whatever that Ring was, were not going smooth and they had been on Luna for about a week and a half.

Chrisjen curled her upper lip in a snarl. “I do not fucking pout. And this is goddamn pointless.”

“Really? You want to live in low G for the rest of your life? Because you will if you don’t keep up with exercises.” Okay, it was little dramatic, because she didn’t expect Chrisjen to be up here for months, but she also knew that Chrisjen didn’t exercise at all, kept impossible hours and more than once forgot to eat. Going down the well after a few weeks on Luna might be really unpleasant for her.

“I fucking might if I don’t have to do this horseshit,” Chrisjen grumbled as she stepped off the machine and wiped her chest with a towel, looking rather disgusted at how sweaty was. The move made Bobbie feel warm in a way that working out didn’t. There was something about Chrisjen in workout clothes, probably that they were more revealing than her regular clothes, that made her want to push her up against a wall. Even if Chrisjen was currently being grumpy and annoyed.

“Chrisjen,” Bobbie sighed. Arguing with Chrisjen was one thing, they did that often enough, arguing with Chrisjen who was in a terrible and petulant mood was a whole other thing. Time to change tactics. “Do it for me then. I like having an exercise partner. And you know in general, doing this isn’t bad for you. It’s good to stay healthy and strong.”

“Ah yes. Strong, said the Martian marine who is basically made of muscle.” Chrisjen looked her up and down and Bobbie felt warm again. Chrisjen wasn’t even flirting and she was getting to her. It really wasn’t fair how easily she got under her skin.

“I’ve never felt stronger than when you’re with me.” It was cheesy and maybe a low blow, to try and play on Chrisjen’s emotions, but really, the woman needed to at least exercise at a semi-regular basis. Chrisjen just tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. There was a beat of really uncomfortable silence.

“Bullshit.”

Bobbie smiled and shrugged. “Worth a shot.”

“Was it?” Chrisjen slung her towel over her shoulder, her annoyance having subsided some. The discussion about getting her to exercise wasn’t done yet, but it was for today and Bobbie was itching to get her hands on her.

“Fine, let’s hit the showers, your majesty. Another perk of working out together, we get to shower together.”

“We can do that anyway. My shower is big enough for the both of us.” Her shower was big enough for half a dozen people. It was kind of ridiculous. Bobbie had seen smaller apartments.

“Good point. Why don’t we do that always?” Chrisjen’s heated look was all the answer she needed.