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For my Sake

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When they woke up, they took a moment to remember why they were sleeping together in the Whispering Woods, in a tight embrace. They didn't move from their position. They didn't talk either for a while.

Catra had been the first to emerge. She had let her mind fill itself with the events of the night.

Katriska. The mask. Madame Razz's terrible actions. The manipulation. The greater good. The purpose… Adora and She-Ra.

A sore pain mixed with anger tightened her chest.

She looked down at Adora's face. She was awake now. Catra rubbed a thumb over her cheek. Adora didn't react. She let herself be touched, but she didn't lean in, and she didn't pull away.

Catra had to show her… She had to tell her the truth. Or more like...the lie. The lie of Catra's life. The lie of their relationship. The fate that Madame Razz had worked hard on preparing for them…

Catra's brows furrowed. If she could see that stupid wrinkled face right now…

"Hey Adora."

The blonde shifted on her chest. But she didn't answer. What was happening in her head…?

"I need to show you something."

"What is it?" Her voice was so...empty. So tired.

"Well, first I was wondering... How did you find me? How did you get into the Forbidden Zone?"

"A sorceress called Madame Razz gave me some magical berries to find you."

"Ugh… I'm not surprised… That bitch."

Adora leaned on her forearms, looking up at Catra in confusion. Catra sighed as she cupped her face. She knew Adora would be devastated… But she couldn't keep that from her. She was done with dissimulation.

"Madame Razz was the one who gave me the mask. And she taught me the little memory trick…" Catra tapped on her headpiece. She hesitated, but Adora nodded for her to continue. "All the magicat queens' memories are stored in there."

"Oh wow…" While Adora contemplated the mask, Catra sat up, and leaned against a mossy rock behind them. Adora made a movement to follow her, but eventually she changed her mind and stayed at the same spot.

"She showed me a memory…" Catra didn't want to live that again. But she had to. She held out her hand. "I think you need to see it too."

Adora looked worried, but she took Catra's hand.

Living the memory for the second time was less shocking, but just as painful, because she knew all along where it would lead. She felt Adora's hand shake and squeeze hers when Katriska got turned into a little kitten. She heard her gasp when Hordak called her by her current name for the first time.

When the memory faded, Adora let go of her hand. She was breathless. She was confused. She was horrified.

"Madame Razz did that for a special reason, Adora."

The blue eyes locked on her own. They were begging her to contradict the suspicion she couldn't help having. Adora was not stupid. Everybody had found it so...funny that She-Ra and the last magicat queen got to grow up together… What a happy coincidence, wasn't it…

"She did that so we could meet."

"No…" Adora shook her head. Catra tried to grab her hands, but Adora pulled away, pushing her as she fought against the tears.

"Adora…" She would tell her to calm down, but it wouldn't be fair. She had the right to freak out as well.

"How can you be so… Why did she…" Adora couldn't breathe. "I never wanted this!" She looked at Catra with desperation in her eyes. As if she wanted to assure Catra that she wasn't the grand mastermind of this scheme. As if to convince herself that it wasn't her fault if Katriska's life had been ruined...but failing at it.

"I know... Adora, it's not your fault." Never would Catra thought she would ever say these words. She had spent so much time in a year, blaming Adora for leaving and fucking up what was left of their relationship… "Madame Razz did that. Not you."

"But why?! Why did she need to… I mean…"

"It's another prediction bullshit…" Catra groaned. "I'm supposed to be helping you save the world."

Adora blinked. "What?"

So Catra explained to her. She told her in details everything Madame Razz had said to her. The prediction, unknown from the Rebellion. The fact that it was important for them to grow up together to influence each other somehow… The detail of the witch's time-travelling that had slipped from her mouth… The question of the whole truth that they should learn about soon.

Adora listened in silence. When Catra stopped, she just lowered her head, lips pursed, brows knitted together.

"How can you be so calm about this?" She finally muttered.

"I'm not," Catra cringed. "I had to prevent myself from…" Catra was about to use the word kill, but she remembered Adora's terror when she 'killed' fake She-Ra… "pulling my hair out."

Adora didn't answer.

"But I can't dwell on that," she pursued. "My life has been a lie… But my future is up to me now. I won't let anyone else define it for me."

"What about the prediction?" Adora asked with something in her voice. Something like admiration.

"We don't know what's true and what's not. We can't just trust that old bitch who appears out of nowhere to mess up with people's lives. We need to find things out by ourselves."

What did 'saving the world' mean anyway? Was it fighting against Hordak? Was it saving the planet degradation thing the Magicats talked so much about? Was there something else…?

"Madame Razz helped me out last year… I was confused, I had just discovered my She-Ra powers, I didn't know how to control them… I didn't know what was right and wrong."

Adora looked so hurt. She was torturing herself, Catra could see it on her face.

"Then she helped me, she showed me what the Horde truly was. I finally found out who I had to protect. I had no doubt anymore. I was strong in my resolution."

"...and now?"

Adora looked her in the eyes. She was more than confused. She was completely lost.

"I don't know what's real or not Catra…" Tears rolled on her cheek. "I don't know what's right and wrong anymore. I don't know what to do! I don't know who I should protect!"

"Hey-"

"My whole life at the Horde was a lie, and I thought joining the Rebellion was the right thing to do, but then I realized because of the trial that the people I decided to protect are not all right either! And the innocent civilians who didn't give you a second chance are no better!"

She was yelling now, letting her anger explode.

"And now?! Now I discover that even our relationship isn't real?! That it was all a manipulation made to...save the world or something? This is too much!"

Catra grabbed her face, "hey, look at me." Adora obeyed, still crying. "Madame Razz set us up. But then, everything that happened in the Horde? It was us. It was real. She did the same thing tonight. She sent you to the Forbidden Zone to find me, she showed me the way through the fog, and then...she left us alone. She's a jerk, but she let us do our thing once she was done with her scheme."

"But we weren't even supposed to meet! You should be like…Shadow Weaver old or something! This is weird!"

"Yeah and I'm not. I'm not Katriska anymore. I don't have any memories of that life. I am Catra. I'm here with you. And what we shared...is ours. It doesn't belong to Madame Razz, or anybody else. Fuck them all."

"But how do I know…" Adora sniffed. "How do I know what I want is real? How do I know...that I wasn't conditioned?"

"Come on, if you were conditioned, you would have treated me like shit, that's what Shadow Weaver wished the most..."

Adora breathed in and out. She took Catra's hands that were still cupping her face, and squeezed them. She focused on her breathing, letting the anxiety fade slowly.

"Is this…" Catra hesitated. "Is this what your demons told you?"

Adora nodded. Catra sighed as she put her forehead on Adora's. The princess had spent her life trying to quickly and efficiently sort out her feelings and values, to find the best solution to her problems without overthinking. She had always pushed her doubts inside, sometimes even refusing to face them…

The Zone must have really messed with her sanity.

"Whatever you heard, remember these fears they showed us are amplified to the extreme. I know it, because I even saw some minor fears I only had once or twice, and they managed to break me to tears using them…"

"What kind of fears?"

"...not today."

Adora nodded. "They told me I would fail, if I kept doubting… And I can't help feeling it's true. If I don't know where to put my allegiance anymore…"

"It's normal Adora, and it's good, it means you think for yourself, finally."

"Ouch."

She giggled. Catra smiled, glad to see she could relax enough to accept the joke.

"The Rebellion is not perfect, but we can both agree that they could use your protection against Hordak at least…"

"After what they've done to you, I'm not even sure I want that anymore…"

"Then think about it. Alone. Take some time for yourself to figure this all out."

"I don't think I'll have the time. We have to get Salineas back as soon as possible. The war is not over..."

Catra thought for a few seconds of something to say. How could she help Adora? "Mermista looks kinda cool, even if I never really spoke with her. You can focus on her for now? Take her kingdom back for her?"

Adora smiled. Even when she was the one supposed to have a mental breakdown, Catra kept being here for her, comforting her when it should be the contrary…

"What about you? What do you intend to do now?"

Catra remembered suddenly the awful scene in the Forbidden Zone, when fake Adora had tried to chain Catra to her life like a pet… She should have known they were only fears… Adora had changed. Adora accepted now that Catra's path would not obviously cross hers.

"I need some time too, to be honest. I still want to infiltrate the Horde and defeat Hordak...and I need to interrogate him too. I need to find out...stuff about the Magicats."

"Mystacor has so many archives about them…" Adora sighed. The idea of Catra coming back to the Rebellion after getting out of the Forbidden Zone like the sentence claimed had crossed her mind. But now it didn't feel right. "I don't think you should come back for now though."

"Agreed…" Catra chuckled. "I don't want to see all their pretentious faces. I'm so done…"

Catra remembered the feeling of wanting to be the best. Wanting to beat Adora. Wanting to impress her superiors. Now it was all gone. She was sick of trying to impress anyone.

Their mentors, their superiors, their mother figures… Mystacor with the so-called wise sorceresses… Even Angella… They had all disappointed Catra, as well as Adora, and even the young princesses, she was sure of it.

They didn't deserve the youth's admiration. They had all messed their world up.

"Whatever Madame Razz said, I'm gonna do things for me now. I won't follow anyone else but myself."

"That's good," Adora smiled. Catra was surprised, she didn't even try to point out how Catra had no plan, no friends, no place to go… "Then, when you're back… Maybe we can...try to…"

"Fix things?"

"Yeah."

Adora looked sad and confused again. The doubts weren't totally gone. They would stay for a while, Catra knew too well about it.

"You're not mad that…" Adora started, making an anxious pause. "That you got forced to be friends with me?"

"...nobody forced me, I told you. We were set up, and yes, I'm really mad at this," she said with a harsher tone. "I'm mad that my whole previous life got erased for you, or more like...for Etheria. I'm mad that it seems I can't live for myself, and that my life keeps revolving around you."

Adora's eyes watered at this speech. She swallowed loudly. Catra could only feel a bit sorry that she felt that way… But she wouldn't soothe her feelings for her. Adora had to hear what it was really like.

"But I can tell you what I want Adora. I wanted to be your friend when we were kids. And now I want to fix the mess between us. Because it's not our fault if my previous life got destroyed."

Adora gave her a weak smile. "That's why we need to put some distance between us," she replied softly. Catra smiled back.

"But," Adora said. "Is it enough...to want it?"

Catra grabbed her chin, and kissed her. As she always did, she started off gently, before feeling enough confidence from Adora's side to deepen the kiss.

XXXXXX

Adora didn't waste her time pondering their actions. She lay on her back, pulling Catra with her. Catra straddled her and attacked her neck with her mouth, leaving a trail of kisses and little bites, guiding herself with Adora's noises.

The princess had already slipped her hands beneath Catra's shirt, like she was in a hurry… She desperately wanted to feel Catra, just in case it was the last time they could be together… Just in case Catra decided someday they could no longer mend the sharp pieces of their relationship.

Catra quickly took her shirt off. Before she could lean on Adora again, the blonde had grabbed her waist, asking her silently to stand still. She was enjoying the sight… Catra topless, sitting on her… She was beautiful. Sadness lidded her eyes when she saw all the bruises in a healing process that adorned her skin now… Some of them got caused by Mystacor's weapons, and some others by her demons… And some by Adora herself.

She kissed the purple spots lightly, travelling on her belly, then tracing the line of Catra's abs, up until the valley of her breast…

Catra smirked, watching Adora's cheeks going redder and redder. She started a slow grinding motion on the princess, who tried to match the rhythm, clumsily. Catra grabbed her hand, and guided it on her boob.

Adora squeezed and brushed the soft skin. She flicked her thumb over the nipple, and smiled when she heard Catra pant. The feline's noises intensified when she felt Adora's mouth close on her nipple and suck. She ran her fingers in Adora's hair, untying the eternal ponytail she had always worn since her childhood.

Adora moved to the other boob, while her free hand travelled hesitantly on Catra's ass. She grabbed it as firmly as she could. It made Catra chuckle. She was so soft… Catra had been used to much rougher.

"What?" Adora asked, a little vexed.

"I'm not made of glass Princess… " Catra put her hand on Adora's, and showed her the pressure she was expecting. Adora let go of her nipple. She grabbed her ass with both hands, imitating what Catra had showed her. She pulled Catra harsher, increasing the grinding motion. Catra bit her lower lip as the friction got her higher and higher…

She pushed on Adora's chest with two fingers and a devilish smirk on her face. Adora obeyed to the silent order, laying down again. Catra leaned on her forearms, caging Adora's head between them, and moved so that her thigh was pressing between Adora's legs. The blonde muffled a whimper, then quickly caught Catra's mouth to hide her embarrassment. Catra smirked wider on her lips, very much enjoying that flustered Adora.

She put her weight on her left arm, and slipped the right one underneath Adora's shirt, wanting to feel her breast too. She kept grinding mercilessly against Adora's core meanwhile. Adora moaned when she felt Catra's hand working on her chest, and jerked Catra's butt forward. The feline's breath hitched. She caught Adora's lower lip and pulled.

Adora moved her hands up on Catra's back.

"Don't go higher," Catra warned. "The wound. It hurts again."

"Sorry…" Adora moved her hands down, feeling Catra's perfectly shaped body, her hips, her ass again, then her thighs… Then she decided to get bolder. She played with the waistband of Catra's red and black striped criminal pants, just below the navel, and sneaked a hand inside. Catra stopped the grinding, raising her pelvis to give Adora more space.

Catra moaned on her mouth when she felt Adora's hand cupping her pubis. She started moving again, accelerating her previous pace. She was playing with Adora's nipple, but had to put her forearm back on the ground to get more steady. Adora watched with delight the feline close her eyes and pant as the blonde rubbed lazy circles on her clit with her palm…

She pushed her underpants aside and inserted a finger. Catra snapped her eyes open, an obvious surprise glinting in them. Then she smirked, and sucked on Adora's earlobe.

"You've done this before, haven't you Princess…"

Her voice was so low it was almost a growl. It made Adora shiver in pleasure.

"...once. And you?"

"...you don't wanna know," her teasing tone sent a flash of desire down her groin, as well as a pinch of jealousy in her heart.

Adora slapped her butt, turning Catra's snicker into a moan. Adrenaline burst in Adora's head. She pulled her finger out, then gripped Catra's pants and tugged it down harshly. Catra cackled. She rolled on her side to get rid of the clothes and her underpants, then took her position back.

Adora sat up. She couldn't help staring with fascination. She slided her fingers between Catra's slits again, appreciating how wet she was. She slowly explored the skin around her clit, trying to feel every fold. Catra moaned and nibbled on her lip as she moved on the hand, occasionally guiding it when it felt uncomfortable, or on the contrary...so intense she needed more.

Adora was amazed at how beautiful she looked. She wanted to engrave that image in her mind, to always remember that moment…

She inserted a finger again. Catra leaned in and kissed her. "Another one..." she whispered on her mouth. Adora raised her brows in surprise, but did as she was told. Catra wrapped her arms around Adora's shoulders, putting her weight on the strong princess. She rode Adora's fingers faster, whimpering each time they hit that spot that made her world go blank.

She forced herself to open her eyes. She couldn't believe these were Adora's fingers. Adora was bringing her over the edge, like she had dreamed of and tried to deny so many times…

She kissed her more ferociously, steadying her neck with a hand. She needed to feel more of Adora, she wanted to be closer and closer... But she had to break the kiss when she felt herself getting higher. She panted heavily, leaning her cheek on Adora's. The blonde hooked her fingers, eliciting louder noises from the feline, then sucked on the skin between her neck and shoulder.

Adora was a patient and quite persistent soldier… If her arm felt sore, she didn't let it appear. She kept on her pace, even quickening it, as she let her other hand wander on Catra's body. When she squeezed the base of her tail, Catra arched her back, feeling dangerously close...

She muffled her moans with her forearm smashed on her mouth, but Adora grabbed her wrist.

"I want to hear you…"

"Just… Don't stop…"

"You're so amazing…"

Her loving and admirative tone, her fingers inside of her, her hand squeezing her tail again, and her mouth on her neck… It brought Catra far too fast to her release. Her pelvis grinded almost by itself in fast motions on Adora, then stopped abruptly when she reached the peak. She buried her head in the blonde hair, as she held her face and neck in a firm grasp, feeling her walls clench on those damn fingers.

When she fell from her high, she slouched on Adora's body, breathing loud in her neck, wrapping her arms around her waist. Adora kissed her forehead, murmuring sweet words in her hair.

She was so soft, so hesitant. Probably because she was inexperienced, but she was compensating by how she observed and cared… Catra loved it better than all the expert sex she used to have. She wanted to make her feel as good as she made her. She also wanted to break her perfect soldier facade… The one that Adora used to conceal her emotions.

Catra sat up and shoved Adora on the ground without a warning. A hungry glint shone in her eyes as she took in Adora's face, confused, flustered and anticipating… Adora licked her lips, not daring to talk.

"You have too much clothes on, Princess... " Catra smirked. "You mind if I take some layers off?"

Adora nodded, her mouth dry. She wiggled to help Catra get rid of the unnecessary piece of clothes. Now it was Catra's turn to stare, and Adora felt suddenly very self conscious…

Catra traced the remnant of the scratch her fake self had made in the Forbidden Zone… The wounds were like ghosts now, fading the more time they spent in the real world, but they were still here nonetheless. Haunting the skin like they were haunting their heart.

"It wasn't you," Adora said. She had seen the shadow in Catra's eyes when she looked at the claw mark.

"...it kinda was."

"No. You told me yourself, these were amplified fears. A distorted reality. You wouldn't do that-"

Catra met her eyes, and Adora regretted her choice of words. The scars on her back decided to burn at this precise moment, as a coincidental reminder of their messy past.

"I can't erase what I've done, but I'll make it up to you." she said solemnly. She unsheathed her claws temporarily. "And I'll never use these against you anymore."

Adora nodded, smiling at the promise. She reached out to Catra's cheek, rubbing a finger to convey her trust. Catra purred, but soon enough a smirk tucked her lips.

"Unless you're into that kind of things, but you'll have to beg for it…"

Adora laughed and closed her eyes to enjoy Catra's hands on her abs, rubbing up until she cupped her boobs. Catra dived on the nipple, sucking and licking it as she squeezed the flesh softly. Adora's breathing got heavy. She grabbed a handful of Catra's hair, tugging it hesitantly.

She whimpered when Catra nibbled the pink nub. "Too harsh?"

Adora nodded. Catra noted that Adora would need more edging before going rough… She left a serie of pecks between her breast as an apology, trailing down her ripped stomach. She looped her fingers around Adora's pants, tucking it down little by little. She could feel Adora tremble as her mouth kept going lower. She looked up at her, a teasing smirk and a raised eyebrow asking her permission.

Adora unbuttoned her pants by herself. But then Catra pulled it down in one move, too much in a hurry… She rubbed her hands up and down Adora's inner thighs, spreading her slowly, getting closer and closer to the part Adora wanted her to touch so bad she was a shaking mess.

She kissed her thigh, from her knee to her groin, avoiding her pussy on purpose. Adora was bucking her hips forward now, demanding that friction. Catra chuckled, then licked her belly button.

"Catra…" she warned. Oh, she was not pleased to be teased so much…

The feline kissed the skin down, lower and lower. With her fingers, she parted the lips, then without further waiting, she rubbed her tongue along the slit. Adora's reaction had been worth the wait… She arched her back, letting out a very loud moan that must have awaken the whole Whispering Woods.

Catra watched her with delight as she circled around the clit, edging Adora who had leaned on her elbows to see her face.

"You're having fun?"

"...why'd you stop?" Adora almost whined. Catra grinned and dived again, this time licking directly on the clit, accompanying Adora's erratic hip moves. She retracted her claws and teased her entrance, watching her reaction. Adora bucked her hips down against the fingertips, searching for more contact. Catra slided in one finger, to which Adora responded by tugging her hair again.

She was gorgeous from down here. Catra wondered how she could ever hate her… But she had never hated her per se. She had hated some things she'd done. Some things she'd said. She had hated the shit that happened between them.

But deep down, now Catra knew that she had never managed to hate Adora.

"Catra…"

"You're doing great, Princess…" she said before inserting another finger. Adora adjusted with a long panting. Catra didn't give her a lot of time to rest. She licked her clit again, and slided her fingers in and out at a fast pace, turning them every now and then, hooking them occasionally to get her higher.

Adora didn't know what to do with her hands. She tugged Catra's hair, then she touched her own breast, then she spread her thighs wider… At some point, Catra held out her free hand. Adora grabbed it. Perfect anchor to hold onto.

She stared at Catra the whole time, squeezing her hand as she let her bring her closer and closer to her release… So many emotions made her heart beat. She wanted to see Catra between her legs more in the future… She wouldn't do that with anyone else anymore.

But what if it was the last time? What if Catra met someone else on her quest to find herself? What if she forgot about her? ...or what if she died?

Catra looked up at her. Her mismatched eyes seem to comprehend her sorrow, somehow.

"Hey Adora," Catra said. She brought their intertwined hands to her mouth, and left a wet kiss on her knuckles. "Stop thinking."

How did she do it? How did she manage to understand what Adora was feeling, whereas she had always struggled regarding Catra's thoughts?

"I got you."

And at these words, she inserted a third finger. Adora cried out in pleasure, angling her pelvis to feel it better. She closed her eyes, moaning and losing focus on time and space.

"We'll fix this," Catra whispered. "I promise."

It was that final word or that final flick of Catra's tongue on her clit that made her climax- she wasn't sure which one- making her fall apart under the feline's watch.

She caught her breath slowly, her ribcage rising and falling while Catra climbed up on her. She nuzzled in her neck, wrapping her arms around her waist and her tail around her leg. A content purring made Adora smile. She hugged Catra back, humming at the feeling of her lips brushing lightly on her neck.

XXXXXX

SFW content of the scene :

She desperately wanted to feel Catra, just in case it was the last time they could be together… Just in case Catra decided someday they could no longer mend the sharp pieces of their relationship.

Catra was beautiful. Sadness lidded Adora's eyes when she saw all the bruises in a healing process that adorned her skin now… Some of them got caused by Mystacor's weapons, and some others by her demons… And some by Adora herself.

...

"You've done this before, haven't you Princess…"

Her voice was so low it was almost a growl. It made Adora shiver in pleasure.

"...once. And you?"

"...you don't wanna know," her teasing tone sent a flash of desire down her groin, as well as a pinch of jealousy in her heart.

Adora was amazed at how beautiful she looked. She wanted to engrave that image in her mind, to always remember that moment…

"You have too much clothes on, Princess... " Catra smirked. "You mind if I take some layers off?"

Adora nodded, her mouth dry. She wiggled to help Catra get rid of the unnecessary piece of clothes. Now it was Catra's turn to stare, and Adora felt suddenly very self conscious…

Catra traced the remnant of the scratch her fake self had made in the Forbidden Zone… The wounds were like ghosts now, fading the more time they spent in the real world, but they were still here nonetheless. Haunting the skin like they were haunting their heart.

"It wasn't you," Adora said. She had seen the shadow in Catra's eyes when she looked at the claw mark.

"...it kinda was."

"No. You told me yourself, these were amplified fears. A distorted reality. You wouldn't do that-"

Catra met her eyes, and Adora regretted her choice of words. The scars on her back decided to burn at this precise moment, as a coincidental reminder of their messy past.

"I can't erase what I've done, but I'll make it up to you." she said solemnly. She unsheathed her claws temporarily. "And I'll never use these against you anymore."

Adora nodded, smiling at the promise. She reached out to Catra's cheek, rubbing a finger to convey her trust.

...

Adora was gorgeous. Catra wondered how she could ever hate her… But she had never hated her per se. She had hated some things she'd done. Some things she'd said. She had hated the shit that happened between them.

But deep down, now Catra knew that she had never managed to hate Adora.

Adora stared at Catra the whole time, squeezing her hand... So many emotions made her heart beat. She wouldn't do that with anyone else anymore.

But what if it was the last time? What if Catra met someone else on her quest to find herself? What if she forgot about her? ...or what if she died?

Catra looked up at her. Her mismatched eyes seem to comprehend her sorrow, somehow.

"Hey Adora," Catra said. She brought their intertwined hands to her mouth, and left a kiss on her knuckles. "Stop thinking."

How did she do it? How did she manage to understand what Adora was feeling, whereas she had always struggled regarding Catra's thoughts?

"I got you. We'll fix this," Catra whispered. "I promise."

Catra nuzzled in her neck, wrapping her arms around her waist and her tail around her leg. A content purring made Adora smile. She hugged Catra back, humming at the feeling of her lips brushing lightly on her neck.


 

Bonus : have a little drawing of my babies examining Catra's mask not long after they met <3 (I messed up Adora, I never draw her...)