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Intro: Ringwanderung

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"So take my hand right now
Don't leave me, don't leave me"

 

Having a schoolarship was supposed to be easy. No school taxes, no rent. Yoongi was supposed to have it easy after struggling so much in his highschool years. However, it looked like everything was just getting worse.

When he was living with his parents, as much as he hated the pressure and the fights, he had everything there for as long as he needed it. No one had to pay for his studies since it was a public highschool, there was no rent, no money spent on food because he had his parents there to cook for him all the time, or at least the fridge was always full.

Even though he didn't have to pay for his studies or a rent when he got to college, there were a lot of things he did have to pay for. He had no idea food was so expensive. He lived off of instant ramen for a while, but after he got food poisoning and practically lived inside his bathroom, he decided to never lay hand on a ramen package ever again. So he needed more money. His parents did help him, but they weren't exactly rich and they could only send him enough to survive. There was also socializing. A lot of people invited him to go out with them, but he always lied and said he was too busy when in reality he was just too broke. That wasn't his biggest problem though. The number 1 spot was taken by the music producing studios. To use them, you had to pay rent. And since he couldn't afford buying his own equipment, the only way was to use one of the studios provided by his school.

The studio was what made him look for a job. Logically, he knew he probably wouldn't be able to handle it, but he also knew he would lose his schoolarship if he didn't turn in his assignments in time, and for that he needed the studio. There was no other way. His sleeping schedule would suffer because of it, but he figured that was a small price to pay for keeping his schoolarship. As much as he valued his sleep, sometimes you have to do things you don't really want to in order to survive.

That was why he found himself in front of a coffee shop at 6am after only 4 hours of sleep. He thought getting afternoon classes was the best choice in order to not wake up too early, but little did he know those same classes pushed him into having to take the morning shift. His interview a day before went weirdly well, the owner looked really nice, so maybe, just maybe, he'll understand if he had to take the day off sometimes. At least he hoped so.

His coworkers looked nice too, but you never know. He didn't need to form friendships anyway. His already too crowded schedule couldn't handle outings too. And neither could his body. He could only hope he would be able to survive until the winter break.

The first day wasn't as bad as he thought, if he ignored his tired body. Everyone looked too energetic for early morning, while he was there struggling to keep his eyes open even with two large black coffees in his system. The actual work was okay though. The clients were mostly students that looked just as exhausted as he felt, needing a little energy boost for whatever was expecting them when they stepped foot in any of the lecture halls, or students that wanted to study or do their assignments in a cozy and quiet place with a sweet treat. That he could easily handle. He was a quiet person, but he didn't find it difficult to socialize with his tired customers. What he did find difficult, though, was keeping up with the bundle of energy that was one of his coworkers.

Taehyung was bouncing around happily every time he had something to do and he couldn't sit still even on his break. Just watching him exhausted Yoongi. He was pretty nice to be around anyway, so he tried to ignore anything else.

That's how he spent his weeks. Monday to Friday he had the morning shift, then a light lunch, then all his afternoon classes. He skipped whatever he could so he had enough time to finish his assignments for the next week in one of the studios provided by his college, then he got home, ordered takeout and spent a few hours studying and writing essays. Sometimes he didn't even get to finish them, falling asleep on his desk with his cheek pressed into his keyboard or books. Then he would get startled by his alarm clock, take a painkiller for the blooming pain between his temples with coffee instead of water, take a short shower, brush his teeth, then leave for work. Sometimes, if he was fast enough, he had time to eat at least a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Almost every time though he had to eat a banana while walking towards the coffee shop if he had the time to go grocery shopping. More of then than not he didn't eat anything for breakfast.

He noticed he felt more tired than usual, but he blamed it on the lost sleep and meals. He really thought he could handle it a bit more, until after exams. Then he could rest and eat as much as he needed until college and work started again. He started wearing makeup so he could cover up the deep purple circles under his eyes, a barista had to look as presentable as possible since he had to work with people. It became something he was doing robotically. Do your makeup, force a smile, be polite, go to classes, spend at least two hours in a studio, go home, study and do other assignments, eat something if you remember, sleep if you have time to, then wake up, shower and repeat. In the beginning, it seemed pretty easy. He was also motivated by the possibility to use the college studios as much as he needed, or at least until he had to go back home so he could continue his routine.

The inspiration to write came during his work hours. For some reason, Taehyung made him think about a starry night sky, happy and excited puppies and just about everything that was pure and happy, which was very confusing for Yoongi. He was the kind of person who wrote about the bad sides of the world instead of the good ones. His professors used to always ask him if he was okay, but then they learned that it was just the way he was. An introvert realist bordering on pessimism. He didn't want false hope, he wanted the harsh truth. As painful as it was. That was probably why a lot of people could relate to his songs. He wasn't depressed, but he wasn't entirely happy either. Maybe it was because he was stressed with college and work, maybe it was because he missed home, or maybe it was because he needed someone to hold him. He was a very needy person, but tried to hide it as much as possible. He didn't have any friends who were close enough to do something about it even if they knew anyway, so what was the point? With this in mind, he kept doing everything he had to do while silently wishing for someone to care about him.

When November started, there were still Halloween decorations all over the coffee shop. His body was starting to malfunction, but he decided to ignore it. Just about a month or so until the winter break and then he could sleep for a whole week. He could do this.

 

✦✦✦

 

He couldn't do this.

By the end of November, he started to get dizzy a lot and the headaches multiplied. Sometimes he could barely talk properly, every word was slurred as if he was drunk. He struggled to handle everything with little to none hours of sleep and barely any food in his system, the fall was inevitable.

He was in the backroom, trying to tie on his apron with shaky fingers. He was more exhausted than usual, every simple movement leaving him out of breathe as if he ran a marathon. Just as he managed to tie the knot and was about to go to the main room, he was hit by a dizzy spell so strong his entire vision was blocked by white big spots. He swayed dangerously and the next thing he felt was the hard floor, then it all went black.

Taehyung was going to see if Yoongi was okay because he looked especially bad that morning, but when he entered the backroom and saw him sprawled on the floor, unmoving and with his eyes closed, he screeched. The owner of the coffee shop, Seokjin, rushed inside just a few seconds after, only to find Taehyung trying to slap Yoongi to open his eyes.

“What happened?” he asked wide eyed, still trying to understand what he was seeing.

“I don't know, I found him like this and he isn't moving and he's not waking up and- Hyung, what do we do? What if he's dead?”

“Tae, calm down, breathe. You keep trying to wake him up, I'll close the shop and call 911.”

When Taehyung nodded, Seokjin went back outside to deal with the call and the customers, while the younger tried to wake Yoongi up. He tried slapping his face, he tried shaking him, he tried splashing him with water, nothing worked. The only thing that kept him from losing his mind completely was the rise and fall of Yoongi's chest, a sign that he was still breathing. All he could do while they waited for the ambulance to come was to hold him close. Just when he was about to yell at Seokjin and ask him about the 911 call, he heard sirens getting close. As the paramedics took Yoongi away, one of them asked him questions about what happened. He didn't remember what he told him as he watched his crush be taken away. He only snapped out of it when he realized he needed to head to the hospital. He all but ran to his car, didn't even take his apron off. There was only one thing on his mind, and that was making sure Yoongi wouldn't wake up alone.

 

✦✦✦

 

As he looked at his boyfriend's sleeping face, Yoongi remembered how they met and how they became closer and couldn't help but chuckle slightly. He only needed that job to be able to afford the college studios, but now, after two years, he had his own studio at home and a cute big eyed boyfriend with honey skin and his favorite smile in the whole world. His passing out determined Taehyung to talk to him more and they became closer like that. While he was in the hospital, the younger visited him daily and brought something new with him every time. Yoongi wasn't excited for the little things Taehyung gave him, but for Taehyung himself. His presence was the only thing that kept him sane while being surrounded by doctors and nurses and too many needles. He was happy just to have him there and listen to him talk excitedly about his days. After Yoongi was allowed to go back home, Taehyung decided to make sure he ate and slept as much as possible and he even helped him a lot during his shift. Even if the younger was a college student himself, he had way more free time than Yoongi did. He usually did everything he could during work, whenever he had a break or there weren't many customers, so he had more time after work. And he used that time to help Yoongi.

He would have never thought him and Taehyung would be such a good match. While he got shy easily, Taehyung was bubbly and liked the attention, which made Yoongi come out of his shell. The cuddles were the best though. Yoongi loved to be held, to be the little spoon, to be babied and pampered, while Taehyung loved to do exactly that. He usually spoiled Yoongi, hugged him at random times and during night he spooned him and played with his hair. They became the annoying couple everyone rolled their eyes at because of how sickeningly adorable they were and they wouldn't trade it for anything.