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A Hundred Golden Suns

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We laid there panting. I was hesitant to hold him since he had pushed my hands away before.

“Armie,” he said suddenly. His voice sounded so clear in the quiet of my room. 

“Yes?” I asked. 

“I love you too.”

I laid there for a moment until what he said had sunk in. “I love you, Timothée,” I said. I was feeling very emotional. 

“I love you too, Armie,” he said lifting up on his hands and looking down on me. He pulled out slowly and I groaned. “Did I hurt you?” He asked looking alarmed. 

“No,” I said. He hadn’t. He had been rough and it had been intense. He had been angry but I hadn’t been scared. I had just let him have me how he wanted... I had wanted it too.

“Are you sure?” He asked and I could tell he was worried. 

“I’m a million times sure,” I said looking at him. “It was intense,” I told him. “I can still feel you inside of me,” I whispered. “But nothing feels bad or painful.”

He collapsed back down on me. “Let’s shower,” he said after a moment. 



I had finished washing my hair and was wiping the water from my face when I felt Timothée’s arms wrap around me. It felt so good. So, so good. I turned and wrapped my arms around him. I kissed his wet head. 

“I was so hurt,” he said softly. “I was so hurt when you left with him. Then the stupid photos. My world felt upside down. So... so...” he seemed at a loss for words. “Then the photos and it was just... just...”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I said. I felt horrible, of course. 

“No I know,” Timothée said. “I’m not saying it to make you feel bad, I’m sorry. It’s just that all that pain then turned to frustration and anger and that’s where I was early this morning,” he said softly. 

“Ok,” I said. “It’s ok.”

“I’m sorry,” he started saying. “I -“

“Timothée you apologizing for anything is so backwards,” I told him. 

“We can both be sorry,” he said. 

“No,” I said. 

“Then we can start new? Right?” He asked. 

“We can do anything we want,” I said. 

We stood under the water and he looked up at me. I smiled down at him and he smiled back at me. 

“So we’re boyfriends?” I asked grinning. 

“I’d like to be,” he answered me. He suddenly reached up and wrapped his arms around my neck. “Make love to me. Fuck me. Whatever you want.”

I grinned and as we started kissing. We finished showering and exited the bathroom. “I want to give you what I got you from Paris,” I said. 

He looked at me and nodded. “Ok,” he said. 

“Ok,” I said, excited. I took his hand and took him to the bedroom. “By the way,” I said turning to him. “You need to get used to me wanting to spoil you. It’s going to happen.”

Timothée grinned, cheeks slightly pink. “Ok. I will try. But if it’s too much, I will tell you, and you have to listen.”

“Ok, deal,” I said. I took the towel he had round his neck and ruffled his hair with it. He chuckled. He was in a bathrobe as was I. I walked to my carry on and found the bag with the smaller burgundy velvet bag inside. “Close your eyes,” I said. 

Timothée grinned and closed his eyes. 

I pulled the velvet bag open and took out the Ecrou de Cartier bracelet I had gotten him. I unscrewed the bracelet and took his right wrist and put the white gold bracelet on, screwing it tight. “Ok,” I said. 

Timothée opened his eyes and looked down and grinned. He glanced up at me. “It’s so nice,” he said. “How much was it?”

“Doesn’t matter. It looks perfect!”

Timothée liked it, I could tell. “Thank you,” he said and stepped to me and kissed me. Our kisses became deeper. I pulled his bathrobe open. I wanted him. I needed him. 

He walked back to the bed, I ran my hands up and down his body, caressing it. “Baby, can I -“

“Yes,” he said softly in my ear. “Yes. Yes. Yes.”

I disrobed as well and wrapped my arms around him, lifting him to me and laying him down on the bed. The way he had made love to me before, or rather fucked me, didn’t bother me or hurt my feelings or made me feel apprehensive of him. I understood. I got it. Everything we felt had always been deep and strong and overwhelming. 

We were here though, together. There had been mistakes made, maybe more on my part than his, but knowing we were together and knowing we loved one another added stability to my life. 

I slicked my fingers with the lube we had on the bed and began to open him up. I loved how he moaned and writhed under me. I couldn’t wait to feel him. To come inside of him. 

He was finally ready and I positioned myself on top and lined our bodies up. I slid in slowly. I wanted to savor this. To enjoy every gentle thrust in and out of his perfect body. I wanted to memorize how it all felt. 

His moans were soft and delicate. His soft gasps were heavenly. I moved slowly and gently in him. I did it for a long while until he asked me for harder and faster. I made love to him how he wanted it, how he was asking for it. When I felt he was getting close, I slid out of him and down his body and took him in my mouth, sucking him and swallowing his released. I then slid back in him. His body was sensitive and he was whimpering as I continued to make love to him. I came in him soon after. 

I laid there holding him. “What time do you have to go to class?” I asked.

“I need to leave in about 40 minutes,” he said. 

“Ok,” I said, pushing myself up and looking down at him. “Let me take you out on a date tonight.”

He grinned again. This made me happy. This is what I wanted to do. Keep him happy. “Ok,” he said softly.

We laid for another moment until he got up and I watched him as he dressed. I was so happy. “I want to take you somewhere nice,” I said. 

“Ok,” he said softly. He came over and kissed me. “I’ll come back after class.”

“Good,” I said. “Can’t wait.”