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Cafe-Chan

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You kept tossing in your bed. Thoughts rushing through your head about how much you hated yourself, while wishing to escape all of life's obstacles could not give you a moment of silence. You sighed... it was finally your day off, and you were going to spend it like this? Wallowing in sadness?

All you wanted was company, you thought as you dug yourself deeper in the sheets. All you wanted was to be heard, and to be happy. As you felt your eyes filling up with tears, a flashing memory of these boys you have met previously forced you to half open them again, staring at the blanket’s fabric.

“Sextuplets, hm??” you chuckled, contemplating the idea of maybe texting them, as they’ve made you promise. You have only met two of them during your quick lunch break at a cafe, and it all happened so quickly that you didn’t remember who was the one who gave you a phone number, complemented your figure, and made you swear to call soon. You only remembered blabbering, in complete awe, how identical they looked from each other; and while one of them seemed to fall quiet, the other one stuck out his chest with pride, mentioning they were sextuplets and were a big sensation in the whole town.

“Ok… I guess it won’t hurt to do something different today” you mumbled, trying to find the right (and least awkward) way of writing the text message. “Dammit… I forgot to ask their name” you said, putting down the phone for a second; and is not like you introduced yourself either. The more you thought about it, the more you knew you would become a nuisance…. Maybe it was better not to do it.

Yet, you could not shake the feeling that you wanted to know more about them. You were surprised at your decisiveness, since you usually would not do things in the spur of the moment, but you typed fast and without much thought.

Hello, I don’t know if you guys remember me, but this is the girl from the cafe! How are you today?

You press sent, and waited.

Not two minutes had passed and you already had a reply.

Hello, this is Todomatsu! I apologize, I think one of my brothers gave you my number by accident because I do not recall meeting anyone recently. Do you remember who it was?

You felt a bit disappointed, maybe they were playing tricks on you? As you were typing “I’m sorry, I think I got the wrong number” and stop any further attempts at awkward interactions, your phone started ringing.

“H-Hello?”

You heard a very loud chuckle, and a lot of background movement before hearing a voice that you thought was a bit familiar.

“Cafe-chan?? It took you so long to write back! I thought my charming ways would make you get back to us faster, but I knew you would do it sooner or later! How are you?”

You felt flattered at the enthusiasm in the other side of the line, but… Cafe-chan?

“I’m sorry”, you chuckled “I have been a little busy… u-um does this phone belong to someone else?”

“WHAT? Absolutely not! This phone belongs to all of us, is just that my brother does not like to share a-and.. Hey! Give it back!” you heard more background noise once again. Was there a fight going on?

“Cafe-chan?” the voice was different this time “Hello, this is Choromatsu speaking”.

“Choromatsu?”

“Y-yes, you might not remember me but I was accompanying my brother Osomatsu that day at the cafe”. You assumed he was the quiet one of the duo. “Please forgive my brother… He should not have given a phone number that was not his, regardless, we are e-extremely glad you texted us”.

“No worries” you replied, even though you could not think of anything else to say until you heard a very loud “Ask her to come over!, tell her to come over!” and a lot of mumbling from Choromatsu that sounded like he was swearing someone off.

“What’s that?” you tried to hold in your laughter

“N-n-nothing, as I said please forgive my- “

“What I am trying to say is” was this… Osomatsu again? “You should come over! Just say yes, eh?? I swear it will be fun”

You stayed quiet for a while despite the small banter going on in the other side of the line. You thought this was a sign, and why the hell not? Maybe this was exactly what you were looking for.

“Cafe-chan? You still there?” You were starting to like the nickname for some reason.

“Ok! Where do you guys want to meet up?”

Chapter Text

It was twenty minutes before two, and you were already on your way to the cafe. Nervousness was welling up in your stomach, and you were trying to fight all urges to go back home running, cancelling the whole ordeal; yet a part of you pushed you to continue your path. Where was this feeling coming from?

You decided to meet up with Osomatsu at the cafe. He mentioned on the phone it would be nice to go to his house, but someone in the background (you assumed it was Todomatsu since the voice sounded so different from the previous two) said it would be better to meet up at the cafe first to “avoid any awkward situations for Cafe-Chan”.

Ironically, this day was already awkward enough. It definitely felt like a wacky dream, but you felt a mixture of anxious nervousness and excitement build up in every inch of your body the closer you got to the cafe. Part of you thought this was a mistake, another part was surprised you would even do this, yet your heart came to a full stop once you saw Osomatsu already waiting by the door.

As you got closer you decided to look around to avoid eye contact with him in the meantime, yet you noticed his eyes were glued on you from the moment he noticed you. At some point, he started waving, so your plan of pretending not to know he was there was completely debunked. You waved back with a nervous smile.

“Have you been waiting here for a while?” you said a little worried, giving a quick glimpse at your wrist watch realizing you were there just in time.

“Don’t mind!” said Osomatsu with a wide grin “What’s important is that you are ok… want to buy something to drink before we get going?”

 *   *   *   *  *  

 The walk to Osomatsu’s home was rather pleasant. He seemed like a very warm and charismatic guy, and despite your nervousness he made you feel at ease very quickly. You joked about him saying he had other five brothers, and he swore he was telling the truth. You joked about him giving his brother’s number, and he swore it was his too! The more you talked with him, the more energy you felt. The way he laughed, and smiled, his voice; you felt as if he was taking you away from everything that troubled you…

In less than a blink, you were at their house. It surprised you how close they lived, not only from the cafe, but from your house as well!

“Really?!” Said Osomatsu with no effort in hiding his excitement “Now Cafe-chan can visit us any time!!” He smiled brightly.

As you and your host stepped into the house, everything felt completely different. While the sun still shined brightly outside, the warm feeling that Osomatsu’s place gave you had no comparison. It was different. The smell of fresh cooked food lingered in the air, and you could hear some muffled conversations, as well as the faint sound of tv going on.

“Hmm!! Maann, that’s smells so good!” exclaimed Osomatsu, leaving his shoes in the entrance. “Nothing compares to mom’s cooking, I am sure you will love it!”

“You guys really seem to be expecting my presence” You chuckled “you really did not have to do that… I do not want to be a nuisance for you and your fa- “

“Are you serious?” Osomatsu interrupted “Nuisance? Please, not you Café-Chan. A pretty girl is never a nuisance anywhere, is it?” he scratched his nose, as he gave you a playful grin. You could see a faint blush in his cheeks, making your heart skip a beat. You replied with a “cut it out!” before you started chuckling together. He truly made you feel at ease.

“Nii-san!!” out of nowhere, a person that was identical to Osomatsu was standing in front of you and your host. Yet instead of a cheeky grin, an eternal smile was plastered on his face. Even though he was addressing his older brother during conversation, you could feel his eyes on you all the time, as if trying to figure out who you were.

“Jyushimatsu! I thought you were out of the house!... are Karamatsu and Ichimatsu also here?”

“They are all waiting for you in the living room… but who is this?” he got closer to your face, you could feel he was inspecting you, so you looked away smiling awkwardly.

“Oh where are my manners! This is Cafe-chan, remember?” You started to wonder when would be the correct time to introduce yourself with your actual name. “She texted us today so we thought it would be nice to invite her over”

“Please make yourself home! I knew we were going to have a guest today… but I was not expecting it would be such a pleasant surprise” said Jyushimatsu brightly, taking your hand between his sleeved ones “We are all waiting for you in the living room”.

You looked at Osomatsu, who smiled back.

“Thank you for your hospitality”, and you bowed.

*  *  *  *  *  

 “We are here!” Osomatsu announced, and whatever activity was going on before came to a halt. You were in complete awe at how identical they were from each other, but at least you could recognize Choromatsu; although you felt a bit ashamed to admit that it took you a while to do so. Regardless of how similar they were, it really called your attention to see the different colors in their clothes; and you did not know if that was the reason why, but such choice combined with their demeanor displayed each one of their personalities in a way you have never seen before.

“Told ya” said Osomatsu triumphantly, giggling at the blatant surprise in your face.

“My god!, who is this beautiful rose?” one of the brothers got on his knees and delicately grabbed your hand while peppering it with kisses “you must be the famous Cafe-chan… if only I knew such beauty would come into my life, I would have prepared from the moment I was bo-”

“Please… excuse Karamatsu” sighed Choromatsu, shoving him out of your way, as he murmured curses under his breath “he tends to be like... that ” You chuckled “I am very happy to see you here, how was your way home?”

“It was great!” you said happily “I am so glad to see you again; all of you are so hospitable. I have really felt at ease”

“We are really glad to hear that!” interrupted one of the brothers; he was a wearing pink parka, and a brown beanie. “I am Todomatsu! It is nice to have you with us, and seeing you got here safe, considering the person that escorted you” he chuckled, as Oso quickly spurted at “Oi!” from the table. “Please take a seat, and get comfortable”.

You bashfully joined them at the dining table, and you pardoned your intrusion. You were glad there was a spot available next to Todomatsu and Choromatsu, and you were grateful for the fact the brothers had returned to their natural banter. Yet, as you were eating you noticed another new face among them. He was wearing a purple parka, and seemed to be retracted in his thoughts. As you sipped on the delicious soup, you accidentally made eye contact with him. His jolt was so noticeable, it called Osomatsu’s attention.

“Ichimatsu!! Are you not gonna say hi to Cafe-chan?” He said, cackling loudly.

“N-no… I d-don’t want to interrupt her lunch”. Ichimatsu replied, looking away from you.

You felt guilty you did not take the time to introduce yourself to him; you must have been so caught up with the others, you did not remember to say hi to everyone.

“You are not interrupting at all! Nice to meet you Ichimatsu” you bowed lightly on your seat  “please pardon my forgetfulness, but it is nice to be sharing lunch with all of you today!”

“P-please don’t mind” he said keeping his eyes fixed on his plate “is your name actually Cafe?”

Osomatsu gasped, and with his mouth full added “it is true!! We are so rude! How is it possible we still don’t know your name? H-how could i forget?”

You laughed not only at Osomatsu’s distress, but at Choromatsu’s loud face palm, and the brothers commenting in disbelief.

“I honestly don’t mind being called Cafe-Chan” you laughed “but it would be nice if you called me ______ “

“That is such a pretty name!” exclaimed Karamatsu “a name that is only fitting for a beautiful rose like you!”

“Thank you very much” you winked playfully “now... shall I call all of you cafematsus from now on?” you teased, getting a laugh from Jyushimatsu and a pouty “not fair!” from Todomatsu.

The rest of your lunch was filled with laughter, and you quickly warmed up to each of the brothers who only shared jokes and retorts all afternoon. This camaraderie and closeness was not something you had ever experienced, but it filled you with warmth to know that it was something you could come back to. By the end of the evening you felt very close to them, and you could not wait to get to know them even more. You felt like you belonged, and that is all that mattered.

Chapter Text

The next following months you became really close to the brothers. They were your friends when you were down, and were your partners in crime when you were happy;  It also made you glad to know they saw you in the same light. Naturally, you were closer to some of them than others, but it was nice to know you got along with all of them pretty well, and found in their company an escape from the harshness of your daily life.

Sadly, you have not had the time to visit them lately. Your job was giving you more and more to do, and all you wanted at the end of the day was to get home and flop on your bed. Summer was finally over, and the days were increasingly getting colder. You missed hearing their laughter, but you were sure that if you worked hard, soon you would be able to see them again. Besides, you could always text Todomatsu, right?

As you were getting ready to make some tea before tackling the next pile of papers, you heard a knock. You checked the clock, it was 10:00 pm. Could it be the landlord?

You heard a knock again “Heyy!! Open!! It’s me!!” was that Osomatsu’s voice? You enthusiastically walked towards the door and looked through the peephole; all you could see was a huge grin.

“Oso? This is such a surprise! Are you ok?” you greeted, hugging him tight.

“Of course I am!!! But even more now that I see you!, you have been gone for a while so I wanted to check on you. Todomatsu told me how busy you were, but I... miss you a lot… w-want to go for a drink?”

You felt so endeared. While you wanted to finish your pile of papers, you knew that one or two drinks would not hurt anyone, so you decided to take the offer. You grabbed your coat, and out you went.

 

The night felt cool, crisp, and pleasantly silent; yet Osomatsu’s company was all it took to keep your chest warm. It made you so indescribably happy to see him, and the more you talked with him, the more urges you felt to become close to him, to get to know him, to hold him….

Wait.

“Do you feel hungry?” Asked Osomatsu, keeping his eyes ahead straight on the road.

“Not really, but it seems someone here is” you teased “any plans on where you are taking me?”

He scratched his head with a troubled expression.

“I know you are stressed, so I want to give you the choice. My treat!!”

“Does the choice mean I will be the one paying?” You grinned.

“Your words!! Not mine. So nice of you to pay for dinner tonight!!” He scratched his nose cheekily, and you playfully responded with a slight smack in his arm.

At some point you two settled for a simple drink by the riverbank. Osomatsu bought two beers for himself, and you got a bottle of warm sake to take home, however you decided to take a shot to warm yourself up.

“Ugh man… I honestly can’t get used to the alcohol taste at times” You exclaimed after your drink “if it wasn’t for the cold…”

“I knew you were a weak drinker!” teased Osomatsu “Once I finally take you to Chibita’s you will have a showdown with all of us six. You will never win” He laughed.

You noticed the alcohol was starting to get to him. He did not seem particularly drunk, but the light reddish tone in his cheeks revealed his initial tipsiness. You found it cute how relaxed he looked. Osomatsu was already easy going, but tonight… it seemed different.

The wind was blowing, and there was nothing but silence around you. While the night was cold, the grass below you felt pleasant to the touch, and the sound of water running close by would fill the moments of silence with a nice melody.

Nonetheless, all your attention was on Osomatsu.

“I… missed you, Oso” you blurted out, aware it was an accident. Aware you were thinking out loud, rather than wanting to confess this.

Osomatsu quickly looked at you. You could feel the surprise in his stare. It seemed the reddish tint in his cheeks became stronger, but it was probably the beers.

“What” you scoffed “I miss you… a-and all of your brothers. Why the face?”

“Ahh Cafe-chan pleasee, you almost got me there!!! You can’t imagine how I felt when you said you were missing me. But you only miss me and my brothers as a whole. I’m so hurt” He pouted, earning him a playful shove from you.

“Well, if you make me pay for stuff every time we go out, it is really hard to miss you only”

He grinned in response, but he suddenly fell quiet. His eyes seemed to be fixed in the flowing water below. You felt a little guilty, hoping you had not offended him.

Osomatsu took a long sip at his beer and put the empty can next to him.

“In all honesty, I missed you too” he said, almost in a whisper.

Why was he so serious? Why did he say “in all honesty”... why was your stomach filling up with excitement at his words?

“You know… I am glad you are working hard” Osomatsu continued “but I have seen my dad falling sick due to how hard he works for all of us. No breaks and no play will end you; just take care of yourself, it is the wise thing to do”. He was now opening his second can of beer.

You gulped. Was this his caring nature as an older brother kicking in? You could not believe that under all his jokes and energy, he could be like this. This was his true essence, this was his vulnerable side.

You smiled, gently placing a hand on top of his. You felt your heart increase in speed, yet all you wanted to do was to return a sincere thank you for his concern. Sadly, your words did not flow.

One of the many good things about Osomatsu is that he was receptive; even if you did not say much, you could tell he knew what you were trying to say. He returned the gesture with a warm smile, eyes half-lidded. He took another sip.

* * * * *

The way back home was sad for you, yet you tried your best not to show it. You knew it would be a while before seeing Osomatsu, and you wanted so bad to stay longer with him, but you knew all good things had to come to an end. You were so glad, however, that Osomatsu had offered to escort you to your house. You knew quite well you could get home safe due to how close you lived from each other, but this was an opportunity that you did not want to pass.

“Are you sure you don’t want to drink some tea at least? It is so cold outside” you observed.

“Are you serious? It will only be fifteen minutes, I’ll be fine! Or could it be.. You want to secr-”

“Oh ! look at the time!! Wow, it got so late. You better get going!” You teased.

Osomatsu sighed dramatically.

“I come aaaalll the way to your house, and this is how cute Cafe-Chan repays me? Man... It is really not my day” he faked a sob.

“Yes, not your day after the drinks I bought you, hmm?” you playfully tapped on his nose “I will at least give you this”

You took off your jacket it and put it around Osomatsu’s shoulders.

“I don’t want you to catch a cold, and certainly that parka is not enough” you were trying hard to not focus in Osomatsu’s eyes that were now fixed on you, “You can’t preach about self-care if you don’t take care of yourself first, don’t you think so?”

Osomatsu grinned widely, now fully putting on the jacket and adjusting it to him.

“Cafe-chan cares for me!!! I am soo in loveeee~”  He said with a singsong tone.

“Why do you keep calling me Cafe-chan” you sighed “your brothers haven’t called me that in ages”

“I must admit we call you that way all the time... but I just think it suits you. It is such a cute nickname.”

You playfully tapped his nose again.

“You should get going Oso, it is very late”.

“I will! We will see each other again right?”

“We definitely will”.

 

You saw him go, and stared at his figure until he disappeared around the corner. He truly made you feel at ease. You loved the company of all of them, and hearing their laughter, but something about Osomatsu was… different.

You made yourself some tea to warm up, but it was not much longer until you were in bed. You noticed your hands had a faint beer smell. You fell asleep with a pleased smile that night.

Chapter Text

 You gasped for air. His hands were roaming your body, grabbing your breasts, squeezing your thighs. He gently bent you over the bed, teasing your entrance as if instructing you to spread your legs. He hissed as he went deeper inside of you, firmly holding your hips in place; and you mewled in response, wiggling your butt enjoying the feeling of fullness. He started slow, rhythmically, you curled your toes with every thrust. He kissed your back, and bit your neck, and as he increased speed he would blurt out “I love you… I always wanted you like this”. You bit your lip as you felt his breath ghosting over your ear

"Please be mine… please Y/N , and no one else’s”.

Your phone went off, taking you out of your deep sleep. You lazily stretched your hand to reach it from your bedside table, and groaned once the light hit your eyes. 4 missed calls from Todomatsu, this early? Why would he call this early in the morn-

Oops, 1 pm. Maybe you should work on getting your sleeping schedule back on track.

You started fumbling around in your phone and decided to check all your notifications from last night. Aside from the 4 missed calls, you also noticed 3 text messages that also came from him, so you checked them quickly.

GOOD MORNING! Would you like to hang out today? Karamatsu and Jyushimatsu-niisan want to go out somewhere, but I thought it would be a good idea to invite you as well!!(^_-)≡★

Hello? You won’t answer my calls, I guess you are busy? If you change your mind let me know!

You sighed, these were all sent a while ago. You wondered if Oso would be there… but then you noticed one last text. It was from an earlier date, you started reading curiously.

“I asked Totty to let me borrow his phone, and it was almost impossible to do. But anyways, I just wanted to let you know I had a great time tonight! next time buy me more beer, hm? - Osomatsu”

More beer? The nerve, but you chuckled. You started remembering how nice it was to hang out with him that night, and you instinctively cleared your throat hoping to dissipate the little nervousness that was welling in your stomach. But god, did you feel like an ass for not responding...

Yet, you were not good at keeping in contact with them, or anyone for that matter. The busy weeks in your job were over; and while your co-workers went out to celebrate, you declined any invitations in exchange for some solo hours in your home, sleeping, seeing time pass by. You sat in your bed and started typing on your phone. You were so tired you doubted you had any energy left to go out, and your heart ached. This was a chance to see them, but here you were, isolating yourself once again…

Sorry, I went to sleep late last night ‘cause of work. I’ll make it up to you! Say hi to the others.

Sent, and sighed.

You felt guilt, you thought you were finally coming around. The ‘you’ who accepted their invitation to hang out in the spur of the moment seemed distant. Who was she exactly? It was something you would never do… You were grateful for their friendship, but you were sure they would slowly push you away, and it was all on you. Tears were fogging your vision, and you closed your eyes hugging your pillow. You were ok before, where was all of this coming from?

As you were getting lost in your negativity, Osomatsu’s laugh came to your mind. Now all your focus was in your memories with him. You felt warm, and like a light at the end of the tunnel, he dissipated your sadness, at least for the time being.

“I can’t go on like this” you rubbed your face, and exhaled loudly. Maybe a walk would take you out of it.

* * * * *

Even if the sun was out, the evening was pleasantly cold which gave a nice contrast to your surroundings. You decided to go in the opposite direction from the Matsus’ house, it would definitely be uncomfortable if you accidentally met any of them. Despite that, focusing your mind on something else was all you wanted at the moment, and you thought it could be a good idea to grab something to drink from the store and check out the park.

It was nice to see people around, once you sat down to rest in a park bench under a tree. You didn’t necessarily need the shadow, but it made you feel protected. You cracked open your drink and started sipping as a group of people with cute puppies caught your interest for a few seconds.

The silence was pleasant; aside from the people chattering around you, the sound of the leaves rustling above you slowly took away your sadness. Just like Oso’s smile, you thought.

“Hey” you turned around startled. A man in a purple sweater and sweatpants was standing next to you, indifferently looking away.

“I-chi! Hey!! You scared me...sorry” you chuckled, scooting to the right of the bench, making space for him.

“S-sorry” he scratched his cheek, taking a seat “Todomatsu told us about you”.

“Oh… yeah, I am sorry about that. I was not feeling well”

“Are you feeling sick?”

“Is not exactly that.” you chuckled nervously, feeling your guilt return. “In any case, what are you doing here? Taking a walk?”

“Probably the same thing as you”

You hummed in response, feeling awkward again. You knew that Ichimatsu and you were similar, at least from what you could tell; yet you could not shake the feeling that he disliked you. You thought he was nice, and he seemed kind, but you felt sad you could not seem to form a connection with him.

Time continued in silence for both of you; the park was getting empty, and the leaves crackling against one another were the only sound that filled the void. Until Ichimatsu spoke.

“Are you feeling sad?”

You looked at him in surprise. How… did he catch that?

“Hm? No, not at all. Just tired I suppose” you lied.

“Then why aren’t you home taking a nap?”

“You are right” you chuckled “you would think I would do that… but I needed to get my mind off of things”

“Work?”

“Not exactly.”

A moment of silence passed before Ichimatsu added

“You are feeling sad then…”

So this would be today’s dynamic: A few words exchanged, followed by big moments of silence. He did not say much, but that’s ok, you did not want to say much either. You asked if he was ok, he said he wanted to step away from the house since the others were getting on his nerves; he asked if you had eaten, and you replied you only had lunch. All of these little exchanges were, however, followed by more silence.

Nonetheless, this was oddly pleasant; despite your initial awkwardness you were starting to get used to this. His company was all you needed at the moment, and secretly you hoped your presence was doing something similar, easing away whatever was bothering him. With Ichimatsu there was no pressure to talk, you could just be… Then you saw him shivering.

You didn’t notice the time has gone by. You saw the sun setting quickly and the park was now practically empty aside from a man walking his dog.

“Do you think we should leave? It is definitely getting colder”

“I suppose” he replied with what you thought was a bit of disappointment in his voice. “I c-could walk you home”

“My god ichi, you are stuttering! Here” You stood up, took off your jacket and put it over his shoulders; a surprised expression showing up in his face “I would rather walk you home. But first I think it’s better if I make you something warm to drink”.

Ichi did not say much, he only stood up and followed you in silence all the way to your house. You tried to make some conversation here and there, but he only looked away, nodding.

* * * * *

The tea kettle started whistling and you quickly made your way to the kitchen. Your guest was comfortably sitting in your living room, now covered in blankets that he had reluctantly accepted from you.

“I am telling you, there’s nothing better than warm chai latte during winter, you will absolutely love the taste!” You said excitedly, pouring a little bit of milk on his tea “I can’t believe you have not tried it yet”.

“You should drink some too” Ichimatsu replied “I am sure you are cold as well”

“Oh no, all the chai latte is for you!! I already made myself some coffee, so please don't worry”

You made your way back into the living room bringing two cups with you, carefully placing one of them in front of your guest.

“Here! And you better give me your first thoughts, hm?”

Ichimatsu looked at you for a few seconds, and then grabbed the cup in his hands. A soft blush tinted his cheeks, and you smiled thinking he looked cute. He only nodded at you and started drinking.

“Well then?” You asked, with your lips parted open in anticipation.

“It is d-delicious” He scratched his cheek and looked away.

“You see? Told you it was going to be tasty!” you chuckled, and started sipping on your coffee “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes… thanks” He muttered “I will leave soon, though”

“Ok” you replied feeling a little disappointed “You should at least finish the latte i made!”

Silence again, but it was ok. All you wanted was to see him warm again, see him well…

“About earlier…” this time around it was you who broke the silence “I am actually feeling sad”

Ichimatsu looked up, you felt oddly nervous now that his gaze was on you.

“I… was actually surprised you caught on that; but I have been feeling sad. I have the habit of isolating myself because I do not have the energy to meet others, I do not have the energy to fight any negativity that comes from meeting others; What I mean is… I have this weird voice in my head that tells me I am not interesting, that I don’t deserve love, and I believe it. It drains me. Yet I feel guilty I do this to you and your brothers, pushing you away that is…” You felt you were oversharing so you decided to stop “I just need time on my own, is all”

Ichimatsu looked down at his cup, opening and closing his mouth a few times as if trying to find the right words to say.

“I am sorry you are feeling this way, but you are not uninteresting to any of us, Cafe-chan”.

You smiled at the nickname.

“I understand the feeling of needing some time for yourself, so please, take all the time you need”

“A-are you guys mad at me?” you felt an inexplicable knot forming in your throat.

Ichimatsu shook his head “Why would we?”

“I don’t want you to think I am pushing you all away”

“I don’t think you are”

You looked at your guest; he was gazing at you, smiling gently. Something about his half-lidded eyes made you feel at ease, and you felt yourself growing hot in your cheeks.

“I suppose” you chuckled looking down.

“You don’t have to come over if you don’t want to” he added “We can always come to you whenever you are available. We can always go different places… and” he cleared his throat “Y-you can always talk to me”.

You looked up at Ichimatsu in surprise. You thought a person like him would never mutter such words, especially not at you. Yet hearing them out, coming from his lips made you feel so much better. You could see he was clearly struggling, however. He was stuttering, even if he was completely warm; and the blush in his cheeks gave away his nervousness. This made you appreciate his support so much more. It made you feel special. Yet all you could do was smile in return…

“I t-think it’s better that i leave” he said almost in a whisper, avoiding any eye contact with you.

“So soon?”

He blushed… deeply.

“Y-yes, thanks for the tea”

“Absolutely, any time” you smiled.

You stood by the door, once again, wishing time could freeze. You saw Ichimatsu’s figure get smaller and smaller in the distance, hoping he would get home safe. As he was turning the corner you found a new predicament. What was … this feeling?

You flopped in your couch and stared at the ceiling, mentally replaying your day. Your eyes opened wide when you remembered a suggestive dream you had last night. It was with Ichimatsu.