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camp flog gnaw

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“so yall heard bout the fires right” dom screamed

“this is merlin da wizard wood mun” shrugged merlyn

“fuck the fires i AM the fire” joba YELLED

romeal (cereal) snorted “[insert the thing that came before this idk] i WAS the vision”

ian cried “why u bully me”

jaden walker looked at ian/kevin asstract. “i jus gave my n word head” he smirked knowingly

“not again” threw up bear face while swallowing me llama roberthoe’s lips

everyone left the room as ian gave jaden head, standing on his own two legs in doing so. they walked outdoors and *gasp* they were on stage (lol they forgot they were performing at camp flog gnaw),, . the audience growled in excitement and pulled their phones out to live in the moment because #yolo ! they stomped on each other’s faces in the mosh pit and yelled at the boys to start singing or they would bring the heteros in

“we need ian” whispered joba but everybody heard him because he had his microphone on

“YO WE CAN HEAR KEVIN ABSTRACT GIVING HEAD BACKSTAGE SOMEONE PLS TURN HIS MIC OFF THANKS” a mosh pitter squealed

“that’s hot” said a disguised hetero. the guards threw her out immediately

bearface muttered “perfectly fine that’s perfectly fine”

sleeping, matt took out a pack of cigs and began to smoke in his boyfriend joba’s face because everybody in the band was gay. of course merlyn suddenly had a confused erection but no one noticed. they were all focused on ratthew champion who looked like the walmart version of eminem. one girl in the audience took a pic of him and captioned it kamikaze. she was also kicked out . joba paid no attention to any of this shit. he loved it when boys had dead hair. that’s why he used to have a crush on nick lenzini, until he realized that nick didn’t even care enough about him to steal his trashy ideas for his clothes (press F to pay respects)

suddenly nick appeared onstage to profess his love for a guy named rustell boaren. matt kicked him offstage with his boot and put his cig on nick’s hair. his hair was so dead that it began melting in the crowd

nick ran out crying and tyler, backstage, felt bad until he remembered that nick had turned him down when he asked if he could help him steal ideas. stupid bitch

“ayo wassup im will smith uhhh i mean jaden smith and im dating tyler” howled jaden smith from somewhere in the air

the audience uwued big time , using their big UWU energy to relentlessly trample everyone else in the mosh pit

“como se dice don’t try to steal our show will smith” matt puffed

then ian came running onstage and the power of the gays propelled jaden smith out of the sky and into tylers arms. wyatt catapulted from several feet away and stabbed tylers arm so that he was forced to let go of jaden smith. blood ejaculated everywhere. jaden smith fell onto the floor with a hard KAPLUNK! and PHEW! he was dead (but now ian didn’t have anyone to help him with that one part in New Orleans)

jaden walker smiled because now he was the only jaden in ian’s life

finally the stinky gay started singing. his backup singers joined him in a cacophony of sounds that made tyler want to vomit but he gave them a thumbs up when they looked back. and then BTS showed up! kevin doan arrived with his bf, jimin .

“we’re engaged” he sparkled in spanish

ciaran let out a huge rawr xd and sulked when he sang his lyrics in the songs. that boi was out of breath with like five lines lmao #asthma

rob blew raspberry. “it’s ok,” he said, waving to ciaran, “he’s just upset about the potato famine”

romil nodded like he knew what the fuck he just said. he skrt’ed out of that bitch and went crowdsurfing. they dropped him because they were mad that he had eaten all of matt’s hair

when the set ended, the crowd booed

“we want tyler”