Chapter 1: Conflicted
Light breaks the news to L and tries to give him fashion advice. L thinks this is a bad idea. And the boys can never keep their hands off each other for long.
As most of this particular story is relatively safe for work, I changed the story to ‘not rated’ to reflect that. This chapter is rated E. Enjoy! 😘
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“L? Wake up.”
Hands shook L’s shoulders gently, and he mumbled sleepily, snuggling back into the covers. Too early. Light’s laughter was soft, and the hands became more insistent until L finally rolled over, pushing them away and mumbling incoherently.
“L. You need to get up,” Light said, laughing again, and the cheerful amusement finally made L crack one eye open, glaring up at his boyfriend.
“Why?” he asked, voice raspy from sleep. “I’m comfortable.”
“You’re lazy,” Light countered, trying not to smile. “You’re also coming with dad and I to see mom and Sayu today.”
“Wait, what?” L sat straight up, surprised by that revelation. “Since when?”
“Don’t look at me, dad was actually the one to suggest it,” Light laughed, holding his hands up in surrender. “After he found out you don’t have any family, he insisted. I didn’t think you’d want to go, but... that’s why I didn’t tell you until now.” The sudden smirk in his eyes made L a little uneasy, and he clutched the blanket to his chest now as he eyed Light suspiciously. “Also, I have something for you.”
“And what is that?” L asked cautiously, eyes narrowed.
“Something from Watari, actually.” Light stood up, and went to pick up a bag resting by the door. “I... may have asked him to pick something up for today, since you don’t have anything dressy to wear.”
“Oh no, I don’t think so,” L declared, pushing himself up from the bed and stalking to the bathroom. “I am not dressing up when I didn’t even have a say in whether or not I’m going with you.”
“L, relax, it’s not a three piece suit or anything like that.” Light appeared in the doorway, leaning casually against the frame as he watched L wash his hands. L just glared at him, and the teen relented with a smile. “Honestly, it’s not even that much different than what you normally wear, it’s just nicer. And apparently he threw in some new sneakers for you.”
L stared for a long moment, and Light laughed, coming forward to wrap him up in a hug. He stayed unresponsive and said dryly, “So... let me get this straight. I’m expected to go with you and your father to your home, wear new, uncomfortable shoes, and clothes I’m not comfortable in, to spend the day with your family, who I watched on surveillance cameras for a week.”
There was a moment of silence as Light pulled away, realization dawning on his face.
L continued, folding his arms in front of him and leaning back against the sink, trying to ignore the discomfort of the cold marble against his naked ass. “Who presumably don’t know that there is going to be a stranger spending a family holiday with them.”
“Even if it is a stranger you’re working with. I creep people out on the best of days, and I’m not going to change everything about how I look to make them comfortable. Am I the only one who thought of this?”
“I... didn’t think about it like that, honestly,” Light confessed, cheeks pink. “I really just liked the idea because I want the rest of my family to meet you, even if I... can’t exactly show you off as my boyfriend.”
“That...” Sighing, L pushed away from the sink, trying to shove aside the happy feeling dancing in his chest at that admission. He wants to... show me off? “You... promised your dad that you’d talk me into this, didn’t you.” When Light nodded sheepishly, L snorted, shaking his head. “Fine. I’ll go. Let me see what you got for me, and I’ll think about whether or not I’m going to wear it.”
The happy smile on Light’s face warmed him, and he couldn’t help but smile at the teen’s back as he followed him back into the bedroom. The things I let you talk me into, Light. As it turned out, Light had been telling the truth about the clothes. Aside from the shoes, there were only two thin slouchy sweaters in the bag, and L stood patiently still, chewing on his thumb as Light held each up to him and eyed him critically.
“Let’s go with this one,” Light suggested, holding up the mint green one, and L rolled his eyes.
“Because it’s closest to what I normally wear?” he asked, eyeing the dark blue one. When Light nodded, he smiled. “Good. The other one looks like something you’d wear.”
“Is that supposed to be an insult?”
“Merely an observation.” L pulled his thumb away from his mouth and wiped it against his hip. “Perhaps... I was hasty in saying I wouldn’t be comfortable in the clothes you picked out. I should have known you’d try to keep my comfort in mind.”
The way Light smiled at him just then made him blush a little in embarrassment, and he plucked the sweater from Light’s hands and went to the dresser.
“Is that your way of apologizing, sweetie?”
L looked back at him sharply and said, “Light. We’ve talked about this. I don’t like pet names.”
“I know.” Light laughed and sat down on the bed to watch him, and only then did L realize that the teen was already dressed for the day. “And I promise I won’t do it much, but I reserve the right to call you that when you’re being extra cute.”
“Uh... huh.” L made a face and turned back to the dresser, grabbing a pair of boxers. He was reaching for the jeans drawer when Light cleared his throat. “Yes, Light?”
“Could you... maybe wear one of your tighter pairs of jeans?” Light’s voice was hopeful, and L swallowed as he glanced back. “For me?”
“Why the hell would you want me to wear tight jeans to meet your family?” L asked dryly, trying not to let on how much the idea appealed to him. “You’d only be torturing yourself.”
“Because if I can’t touch you all day, I’d like to at least be able to look at you and know that you’re dressed all sexy for me,” Light said, grinning.
“Bull. Why would you want to torment yourself like that?”
“Because I’m a masochist,” Light declared. “And you’re hot. And I want to show you off in some way.”
“Jeans and a slouchy sweater is hot, now?” L looked away, digging into the drawer. It wasn’t like he had any jeans that were overly tight (at least, he didn’t own any pants as tight as the ones that Light wore on a regular basis), so the discussion was moot, but it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to wear a pair that weren’t practically falling off of him. “If that were true, people probably wouldn’t go out of their way to call me a weirdo.”
“Oh, they probably still would. And I said you are hot, not your outfit.” L could feel Light’s eyes on him as he padded back into the bathroom to get dressed, trying to ignore the way Light’s words affected him as he eyed himself critically after pulling the sweater on. It actually didn’t look half bad on him, all things considered, and he smiled a little.
“I think the collar on this sweater is wider than my normal shirts,” he called, trying to adjust it. There was an awful lot of pale shoulder showing, perhaps a little much for his comfort.
“That was the idea,” Light called back, laughing as he came back in to hug him from behind. “I like seeing so much of your shoulders.”
L locked eyes with him in the mirror and smiled slowly. “So... between the tight jeans and all this skin on display, what I’m hearing is you’re just begging to be low key horny every time you look at me today. Or... am I wrong?”
A low laugh escaped Light and he lowered his head to mouth slow kisses along L’s shoulders and then up his neck. “Light, this isn’t helping,” L murmured, even as he tilted his head to the side to let Light continue trailing kisses up to his jaw.
“No... but it is an answer to your question,” Light said quietly, stroking his fingers up under the hem of the sweater to tease along L’s stomach, pulling a low gasp from him.
“And that answer is that you clearly want to do scandalous things to me,” L said dryly, though the effect was lessened by how breathy his voice had become. Damn it, Light had ridiculous timing.
“Think we have time for a quickie?” Light teased, letting his fingers drift down under the waistband of L’s jeans and grinning.
“I have no idea, when are we even supposed to leave?” L said, exhaling loudly before narrowing his eyes at Light and grabbing his wrist. “Would you stop turning me on for a minute and give me a straight answer, you damn tease?”
Light laughed again and checked his watch. “We have half an hour before dad wanted to leave.” L’s breath caught at that, and he stared hard at Light in the mirror, licking his lips as he quickly thought through the logistics of Light’s little proposal. It’s... absolutely doable if we don’t draw it out like usual. “So... I was mostly teasing, but what do you say? Want to chance it? Because...” The smile on Light’s face became positively sinful as he dragged his tongue along the underside and back of L’s ear, and the sound that left his mouth would have been embarrassing if he wasn’t so focused on how amazing it felt. “Honestly? I want you so. Fucking. Bad. Right now.”
“You couldn’t have thought of this when I was already naked?” L breathed, only annoyed on the surface, and he finally turned around in Light’s arms to kiss him fiercely, fingers twisting tightly into Light’s hair. Light’s arms went around his waist immediately, and L broke the kiss and stared, reaching for the buttons on Light’s shirt and busily undoing them. “You really need to work on your timing.”
“I don’t know, I think I timed it pretty well,” Light murmured, tugging insistently at the sweater. L lifted his arms obligingly, and Light stripped it off him, smoothly moving in to press him back against the edge of the sink with a kiss as it landed on the floor behind them. He broke the kiss only to say in a suggestive tone, “After all, if I fuck you right here, we’ve already got everything we need, and we can just hop in the shower quickly once we’re done.”
Blinking, L burst out laughing. “You are supremely good at adapting on the fly.”
“So is that a yes?”
“No, it’s an I swear to god, if you don’t fuck me right now, I will have to come up with a convincing reason to give to your father as to why you have a black eye, and that would be awkward for all of us,” L snapped, hoisting himself onto the vanity and tugging Light towards him, exhilarated by the way Light shimmied out of his clothes and went to work tugging his jeans off. “Did you plan this?”
“What, springing this on you just so I could ravish you before we have to go?” Light laughed and said, “I’m a good planner, but even I’m not that good.” The cocky grin that spread across his face was (perhaps unsurprisingly, L had always rather loved it when Light challenged him) deliciously sensuous, and he wasted no time in kissing his way down L’s chest, mapping out his most sensitive spots with his tongue before pulling away. L protested, reaching out for him, but Light grabbed his wrists and leaned into him, pressing them to the mirror. Oh Jesus, that is SO sexy, L thought, his mouth going dry.
“I’m not taking you dry, L. Let me work,” Light murmured, kissing him briefly. L nodded and clutched at the sides of the vanity when Light released him, fighting the urge to laugh hysterically. Of all the things he had thought the damn thing would be used for (and he had, after all, seen how much product Light used at home and had all the vanities in the living quarters designed accordingly), not once had it ever crossed his mind, even after he and Light had started this little affair, that he might one day wind up sprawled across it, naked, waiting for Light to fuck him into the mirror. Or something to that effect.
Even that heady thought was driven from his mind when Light’s tongue pressed insistently into him without warning, and he let out a ragged cry of pleasure, head falling back as he panted for breath. He wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted me badly, L thought, dazed by the speed with which Light had reduced him to a hormonal mess, and it was all he could do to just breathe and hold on as Light worked him open with tongue and slick fingers, never mind keeping track of the time.
“L?” Light’s voice jolted him from his daze, and he raised his head to look at his lover, shuddering under his ministrations. When Light leaned over him and smiled encouragingly, L smiled back shakily. “Do you want more, love?”
That unconscious echo of their first kiss made something in L clench. He reached up to grip the back of Light’s neck, tugging his head closer until their lips were barely an inch apart and locked eyes with him, smiling fiercely before growling out, “Do it.” And with the way Light sucked in a breath and kissed him hard, clutching a steadying hand around the back of L's thigh, he could tell Light had caught it as well. This time, there was no doubt, and no misunderstandings, just the pure, heady sensation of being filled. L actually had to break the kiss with a gasp, and Light straightened with a grin, holding his hips down and thrusting deep into him.
“Oh, Jesus, Light!”
“Don’t tell me you’re already there,” Light exclaimed breathlessly, laughing at the thought. L stared up at him, eyes wide as he rolled his hips to meet Light’s next thrust, licking his lips to try and work some moisture back into his mouth.
“If you keep hitting that a- ahhh! - angle, it won’t take- oh, fuck me,” L moaned, unable to even finish his sentence as Light continued to fuck into him. Luckily, Light didn’t try to play obtuse this time. He took the hint, leaning over L and pressing his knee back into his chest as he made sure every thrust went deep and hard, pulling desperate keening sounds from L each time. It was so intense that when L finally came apart, it was with no extra stimulation - and his vision actually whited out for a moment. He came back to himself in increments, trembling and wrapped up in Light’s arms... and empty. What the..
“L? L. Are you alright?” Light asked, stroking his hair and back. He sucked in a breath and squeezed as L finally brought his arms up to wrap around his neck. “Shit, I didn’t break you, did I?” His voice sounded worried.
“... I don’t think I’ve ever had such an intense orgasm in my life,” L finally spoke, voice faint. “But, uh... what did I miss?”
“Oh god, I did break you,” Light said, laughing apologetically. He pulled back to look L in the eyes, brushing his hair out of his face, and L actually shuddered from the touch, fingers coming down to grip Light’s wrists weakly.
“Too much,” he whispered, letting out a shuddering breath as he squeezed his eyes shut.
L nodded, and blinked his eyes open again, trying to ground himself by taking mental stock of his surroundings. Nothing seemed to have changed, so he clearly hadn’t been out of it for long. The light seemed a little sharper, but that was probably a side effect of coming so hard, and he’d experienced similar effects from coming down off a sugar high, so he knew that would go away soon. He was still sitting on the vanity, so Light clearly hadn’t moved him. And speaking of, Light was still giving him a concerned look. His gaze traveled over Light’s body, and he flushed a little to see that he’d left quite an angry bite mark on the teen’s shoulder. Reaching out, he traced his fingers over the raised welts.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked softly.
“No, it, ah...” Light flushed, unable to finish the thought. L smiled, feeling a little more like himself.
“Pushed you over the edge, did it?”
“Yeah.” Light reaches up to close his fingers around L’s, finally smiling, though it was hesitant. “And then I saw that you were completely blacked out, and I got worried. Are you sure you’re okay? Did you faint?”
“Maybe? I don’t remember you...” L flushed, looking down before shifting on the vanity and bringing his hands down to press to the counter top in between his legs, rolling his neck from side to side to ease the tightness. “I think I’m okay now. Why in the hell did that happen, do you think?”
“I don’t know, but we’re both kind of a mess, so I should probably get you cleaned up,” Light said, reaching out to help him down. Normally, L wouldn’t have accepted the help, but it seemed prudent to do so this time. Just in case. Fainting. During sex. How embarrassing. “I’m sorry if that was too much, L,” Light murmured, hugging him again once he was firmly on the ground.
“Don’t be sorry,” L responded with a sigh. He glanced back to the sink and frowned. “I should probably drink some water, though. I’m really thirsty.”
“Right!” Light let him go, immediately running some tap water into a glass for him, and L just blinked. You’re being unusually helpful, Light, he couldn’t help but think, staring at Light with wide eyes as he accepted the glass, drinking gratefully.
“You know, I could have gotten that myself,” he pointed out, once his thirst had been slaked. “Thank you, though.”
“It was my fault for not paying attention, it was the least I could do,” Light said softly, slinging his arm around L’s shoulders and leading him to the shower.
“I am not going to play the blame game with you right now, Light,” L said with a quiet sigh. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault. And I don’t want you to treat me like I’m a porcelain doll, either, you didn’t break me. It just... happened. I was probably just dehydrated.”
Light gave him a look, and L frowned back at him as he started the water. Looks like it’s stalemate, Light. I don’t know what to say. He sighed, head down as the water beat down on them, shrouding them in white noise until they were both clean. And still Light didn’t speak. That certainly didn’t go as planned...
“Aren’t you going to say something?” L finally asked in a small voice after they had both toweled off.
“We’re going to be late,” Light said softly after a long moment of hesitation, not looking at L as he pulled his clothes back on.
“That’s all you’re going to say?” L reached out to grasp Light’s wrist gently, willing the teen to look at him. Why won’t you look at me? Did I do something wrong?
Light turned to him, and hugged him tightly, still not looking at him. “I know you said it’s not my fault, but this was my idea,” Light whispered fiercely, pressing his fingers into L’s still dripping hair. “L, you can’t dictate how I feel, and right now, I feel like an idiot. I’m sorry, I know I’m overreacting, but that really scared me.” He pulled back and finally, finally, looked L in the eyes, stroking his cheek tenderly. L bit his lip, a lump in his throat at the emotional outburst. Okay, so I DIDN’T do something wrong. Thank god for that. “I love you. You can shrug this off if you want, but you can’t tell me not to be worried for your well being. Okay?”
L blew out a shaky breath at that, and reached up to wipe away the stray tears that were threatening to spill down Light’s cheeks, swallowing hard and smiling. “Okay,” he whispered. “Deal.” Light laughed a little at that and mirrored L’s action before leaning in to press gentle kisses to his cheeks and eyes. “Light...”
“What?” Light asked, taking a deep breath and exhaling loudly.
“Look at us.” L looked down and began gathering up his clothes, grabbing his towel again and plopping it on his head. “Couple of sappy idiots, the pair of us. Sometimes I wonder how it even happened.”
Light laughed at that and asked, “Would you change any of it?”
L thought for a minute, chewing on his bottom lip as he pulled his clothes back on. Finally, he looked over at Light, an amused gleam in his eyes and an innocent tone to his voice as he said, “Well, I would definitely go back and change the part where I missed seeing your face after I bit you.”
“L!” Light’s face flushed and he threw his towel at L’s head, laughing as he turned away to button up his shirt. “Why am I laughing, that’s a horrible thing to joke about, you jerk!”
“If I can’t poke fun at myself, who can I poke fun at?” L said, finally letting himself laugh a little. It felt good, like a weight had lifted off of him for now. Just then, Light’s cell phone rang. “Hoooow much you wanna bet that’s your father?”
“No sell, it’s definitely him,” Light said, hurrying back into the main room to answer it. L just smiled, picking up Light’s discarded towel and hanging it up before rubbing his hair somewhat dry with his own. He could hear Light’s apologetic voice as he hung his towel back up and padded out of the bathroom, coming up behind Light and wrapping his arms around him, resting his head against Light’s back. “Yeah, he’s just putting on some shoes now, we’ll be right down. Sorry, dad.”
“Hi, Yagami-san,” L called, grinning when he heard Soichiro’s faint voice respond.
“Okay... okay, yeah, five minutes tops.” Light listened again and then smiled, hanging up the phone. “So, now that we’re not overreacting to... things...”
Before L could respond to that, Light twisted around and gathered him up in a tight hug, pressing a thorough, grateful kiss to his lips. He let the kiss end naturally and sighed. L smiled back at him, cheeks pink.
“Is that why you said five minutes?”
“Partially. I really do love you, L.” Light let go of him reluctantly and stepped back, giving him a quick once over. “And I think I really like this colour on you. It brings out the grey in your eyes.”
I love you too, Light. L gazed at him, breath quickening, and he knew that the thought was true. I love him. I don’t just think I might, I DO. Come on, just tell him. He stood frozen, watching Light’s expression turn sweetly curious, but he couldn’t get the words to come out. Why can’t I just say it?
He couldn’t do it. He needed a distraction. L looked down shyly and shuffled away to grab his new sneakers, grateful to see that they were a half size bigger than his actual size. It’s been so long since he got me new shoes, I didn’t think he’d remember. Thank you, Watari. He smiled to himself, sitting on the bed to pull them on.
“Thank you,” he said suddenly, belatedly, as he stood up and walked back over to Light. He threaded his fingers through Light’s and smiled wistfully at the confusion on the teen’s face.
“For what?” Light tilted his head, glancing down at their linked hands. “And what about the cuffs?”
“I think your father would probably prefer us not to wear the cuffs today,” L said softly, tugging Light towards the door. “And... thank you for... everything.” He paused at the door, squeezing Light’s hand and leaning up to press a soft kiss to his mouth before letting go. “For inviting me. The clothes. The compliments.” His lips quirked up and he opened the door, stepping out as he murmured, “The literally mind blowing sex. Today already could not get more perfect.”
“Well, that doesn’t bode well for the rest of the day,” Light said, blinking and following him out of the room. L just laughed. They’d see about that. Maybe he would find the courage to tell Light how he felt by the end of the day.
For those who aren't familiar with it, the Japanese Autumnal Equinox is a national holiday usually reserved as a family day to honor one's ancestors. In 2004, it fell on Thursday, September 23rd.
Yes, L fainted briefly. He just woke up, hasn't eaten or drunk anything yet, is stressed out over everything, and just went through some intense physical activity. Don't worry, he's fine! (Probably...)
I still don't own Death Note.
Chapter 2: Acceptance
L finally meets Sayu and Sachiko. It turns out, he really does want to make a good impression on them, despite his earlier claims, so he tries to be on his best behavior.
This chapter rated T. Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“- and remember to stick to your schedule, Misa, we don’t want you to go over at the first event and miss the second one.” Matsuda’s voice could be heard lecturing Misa as L and Light stepped into the room, and the rookie immediately turned to greet them, a wide smile on his face. “Oh, hello Light! And-“ Matsuda stopped speaking, eyes widening and mouth dropping open in surprise, and L found himself hunching his shoulders self consciously, noting the faint blush that sprung up on the man’s cheeks. “R-Ryuzaki-san, you’re not wearing your normal clothes.”
“Thank you, Matsuda, for announcing that to the world,” he murmured under his breath, chewing on his thumb and hanging back as Light went to speak with everyone. He was already somewhat regretting letting Light talk him into wearing the sweater, especially if the others decided to make a big deal of it like Matsuda was. Why does he always notice? No... why does he always point these things OUT? Letting out a sigh, L hovered awkwardly near the door and looked around for something to munch on while he waited, feeling out of sorts again. He had originally been planning on sleeping in and staying here at HQ while everyone else went home to their families for the holiday, and now it seemed like Watari would be holding down the fort on his own. But then... he knew that already, didn’t he? Light had to have told him, or else he wouldn’t have randomly filled the clothing request. Why didn’t he tell me?
Surprisingly enough, it was actually Misa’s voice that startled him out of his thoughts as she bounced over to him and waved a hand in his face. “Hey, earth to Ryuzaki! You’re such a space cadet sometimes!”
“Good morning, Misa-san,” L responded, speaking around his thumb as he peered down at her cautiously. “What is it?”
“Why are you all dressed up? And in new shoes!” She grabbed his arm and tugged him over to the rest of the group, and he let her, sighing. Glancing around at the others, L quickly shook her off and pulled his thumb from his mouth, shoving his hand awkwardly in his pocket as Light turned to look at him. These pockets are too shallow. Damn it. And I don’t have time to go change.
“Where is Mogi-san?” he asked curiously instead of answering Misa’s question.
“He already left for the day,” Soichiro explained. “And Aizawa texted to say he would come by for a little bit near the end of the day if we needed him, but otherwise said not to expect him.”
L nodded thoughtfully and then turned to Matsuda. “Misa-san’s appearances today aren’t keeping you from anything, are they, Matsuda-san?”
“N-no, nothing like that for me!” Matsuda grinned, blushing and rubbing one hand into his hair. “I was already free as a bird, it’s no trouble.”
“Hey Ryuzaki, I asked you a question,” Misa said, tugging on his sweater and pouting up at him.
“Yes, I know.” L looked down at her again and then to Light and Soichiro and the nearly identical long suffering expressions on their faces. “It turns out I was invited to the Yagami household, but wasn’t told about it until Light-kun woke me up. It caused a bit of... confusion. That’s the reason for the delay, Yagami-san, I apologize.”
“What?” Soichiro turned to Light with a frown, and said, “You were supposed to invite him last week, Light.”
Light just gave L a dirty look before spreading his hands and saying, “I know, dad. I’m sorry, I meant to, but...” L brought his thumb up to his mouth again, trying to hide the tiny smile on his face. Was Light going to throw him under the bus, too? The split second smirk on Light’s face confirmed it, and the teen stared at him pointedly as he continued, “Honestly, I knew he would refuse if I gave him time to think about it. You seemed insistent that he come, and I think he could use a day away from this building, anyway, since he hasn’t left it in two weeks. Right, Ryuzaki?”
L opened his mouth to respond, only for Misa to cut in with an indignant, “No fair, if I had known he was going to be allowed to go to your family thing, I would have asked to come too, Light!”
But nobody WANTS you to come to Light’s house, Misa, L thought to himself, gaze flickering quickly to Light’s face and then his father’s. “You already had prior engagements.”
“I would have rescheduled them for Light, no-one would care if I was making time for my boyfriend!”
Shit. She had a point. L gave Light a pleading look and edged a little closer to Matsuda. Why me...
“Misa, at least you’re making money today, that’s more important than a family get together,” Light said, pulling a frown from his father.
“But.... It’s the autumn equinox, Light, you know how important that is,” Misa said quietly, frowning hard and looking hurt, and perhaps due to her not being loud and obnoxious about it... L found himself feeling a little sorry for her. After all, the reason he had apparently been invited in the first place also applied to her, so there really was no reason she shouldn’t also have been invited. Except for the fact that their relationship is a sham, and Light probably had more to do with my getting invited than he let on. This was awkward.
“H-heeey, look at the time, Misa Misa!” Matsuda spoke up into the awkward silence, giving L a quick, reassuring grin as he moved over to stand with Misa. “I’m sorry. But we can’t cancel your appearances now, so we should probably get going if we want you to be on time for your sound check.”
“You’re right, Matsui,” Misa sniffed, giving Light a sad look before turning to stare right at L. He could see that any friendly feelings she might have had for him over the last month were gone for the moment, replaced with a seething jealousy, and he looked down, hunching his shoulders self consciously again. And now I once again bear the brunt of scorn from an over emotional pop idol. Fantastic. Matsuda forced a grin at everyone and lead Misa from the room, speaking quietly to her, clearly trying to cheer her up.
“Well,” Soichiro spoke up after a long moment. Light looked at L helplessly, and L just scuffed the toe of one sneaker against the floor. “That... could have gone better.”
L didn’t look at either of them as he suggested in a soft voice, “If it will cause less tension, I can always stay here.”
“No!” Light immediately spoke up, just as Soichiro started to say, “Ryuzaki, it’s-“
Without waiting to see if his father was going to continue, Light stepped close and gripped his elbows tightly, saying firmly, “Ryuzaki, look at me.” L peeked up through his bangs, glancing over at Soichiro for a moment before focusing wide eyes on Light. “That wasn’t your fault, so just ignore Misa. She’ll get over it. We invited you, you’re already ready to go, so we’re not going to uninvite you just because she threw a fit. Stop trying to be noble.” Blinking, L just stared, unsure what to say to that as Light gave him a reassuring smile.
Soichiro cleared his throat after the silence stretched a little too long, startling the two out of their little moment. “If you’re done with your speech, Light, Ryuzaki, we’re late leaving as it is. It’s fine. We’ll figure out some way to appease Amane later.”
“Of course, Yagami-san,” L murmured, a faint smile ghosting over his lips for a moment. He took that moment to pull away from Light, going to his desk to grab his iPod and a pair of headphones; he had a feeling he might need to slip away and be alone at least once during the day, and he knew having his music would help keep him calm.
“And Ryuzaki?” L stopped and looked up at the chief expectantly. Clearing his throat again, Soichiro’s gaze drifted down to his wrist pointedly as he said, “Thank you. For not... it would be difficult to explain to my wife if...”
The chief still seemed uncomfortable bringing it up, so L nodded and said, “Of course. It didn’t even cross my mind to keep the cuffs on today.” Soichiro winced and nodded gratefully, leading the way to the garage.
Light fell into step beside him, subtly squeezing his fingers around L’s wrist for a moment to get his attention before letting go. L gave him a sidelong glance, waiting for him to say whatever he had on his mind.
“You need to stop cutting yourself off from human contact when things get uncomfortable,” Light murmured to him, trying to keep his voice low enough so his father wouldn’t hear. “You’re allowed to do normal things, and Misa’s jealousy shouldn’t be a factor.”
“Light, she and I are in a very similar situation.” L glanced at Soichiro’s back and lowered his voice even more. “And it seems like everyone knows it. I know I told you and Misa, but how did everyone else find out? And why should I get special consideration when an invitation wasn’t even extended to her?” Unless it was?
Light stayed quiet until they reached the car and then sighed, opening up the back door and holding it for L. “We respect you more than her, is what it ultimately comes down to.” L didn’t miss the way that Soichiro twitched at that, glancing back at them quickly as he started the car, and as Light slid in after him, he found himself staring at the back of the elder Yagami’s head, chewing on one thumbnail as he thought furiously. It seemed Soichiro actually had a secondary motive for extending the invitation, one he hadn’t told Light about.
And I’m willing to bet I WASN’T the only one who remembers the surveillance debacle, after all. He wants to make a point to me, L mused, somewhat saddened by the thought. That meeting his wife and daughter will make them real in my eyes and drive home the fact that I invaded their privacy unnecessarily just to get something on Light, which didn’t even work anyway. Of course, meeting and working so closely with Light has already greatly changed the way I see and interact with him, so he’s probably hoping for some form of contrition on my part. And because I don’t often speak my mind on a great many things... he doesn’t KNOW that I already have regrets for the way I handled that. Glancing out the window as they made their way through the streets, L suppressed a sigh and hunched down over his knees, unintentionally doing just what Light had accused him of and closing himself off. I will just have to make sure that I am doubly respectful to his family. I wouldn’t have been disrespectful in the first place, but... a little extra politeness won’t hurt. Light, I wish I had your social skills.
They rode in silence for quite a while before Soichiro finally spoke up. “Do either of you want to listen to the radio? The roads are a little busier than expected.”
“Yes, please,” Light immediately responded, clearly grateful. L just smiled melancholically to himself and settled back against the seat as quiet music filled the car.
This is it, L thought, eyes wide as they finally pulled into the Yagami’s driveway. He undid his seat belt, ignoring the warning squawk and slid across the seat to crouch at Light’s side, thumb worrying at his bottom lip as he whispered, “Light-kun, I don’t think I can do this after all.” What if I forget I’m not supposed to know my way around? What if I mess up and say something mean? What if they just don’t like me?
“What?” Light gave him a disbelieving look and said, “Ryuzaki, you’re already here. You literally cannot back out now, stop being so anxious about it.”
L snorted at that and stared at Light before commenting dryly, “Okay, remind me which of us said ‘you can’t dictate how I feel,’ again.”
“If you two are finished bickering, I have a couple ground rules to go over,” Soichiro said, voice resigned as he parked. He twisted around to look at them, fixing L especially with a serious frown. “For starters, I expect you both to be on your best behaviour. No fist fights or physical violence of any kind in my house, or I will separate you.”
“Light-kun started it last time,” L responded instantly, trying to temper the satisfied smile that spread across his face. Light gave him a Look, and he had to fight not to giggle.
“I don’t care,” Soichiro responded dryly. “I will finish it. And Ryuzaki, no putting your feet up on the furniture. I don’t care if you walk around with bare feet, but I will not have dirty feet on my wife’s clean furniture.”
“But Yagami-san-” L started, only to be cut off.
“Don’t give me that deductive reasoning crap, you don’t need it today. Unless Sachiko says otherwise, you will sit like a normal person. Those are my terms. Am I understood?”
“Yes sir.” L looked down, and Light chuckled softly, earning himself a dirty look.
“I wouldn’t dream of starting a fight today, dad,” Light said smugly, folding his arms and grinning at L.
“Light, stop teasing him. I mean it. Both of you, behave yourselves.”
L and Light exchanged secret smiles before nodding in unison. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s including both of us in this admonishment, I might feel a little insulted to be talked down to like a child, he thought to himself, elbowing Light playfully in the side and nodding towards the door when Light gave him a questioning look.
“Ready to meet the ladies of the house, then?” Light asked softly as he opened the door.
“No,” L replied, chewing on his thumb again. That made Light smile, and he reached out to gently take L’s hand in his, squeezing reassuringly.
“Try not to do that too much today, okay?” L grimaced at him, looking down at their linked hands, hyper aware of the fact that Light’s father was already halfway to the front door. “I know you’re nervous, but you’re going to be fine.”
“Unless you plan to hold my hand all day to keep me calm, you might have to just let me keep some of my coping mechanisms, Light,” L pointed out, and for a moment, it seemed like Light was entertaining the idea as he stroked his thumb over the back of his hand. “And as much as I’d like that, I don’t think we can get away with it without having a lot of explaining to do.”
“No holding your hand when you get anxious, got it,” Light teased, bringing their joined hands up and pressing a gentle kiss to the back of L’s hand before finally letting go. He slid out of the car and waved his father ahead of them as L unfolded himself from the vehicle, feeling entirely self conscious. “Does that mean you’re going to be taking music breaks? I saw you grabbed your iPod.”
“Only if I get stressed or overwhelmed. I’ll try not to be antisocial.”
Light nodded at that, and started towards the house as he said, “Okay. By the way, be prepared, Sayu can be a little, ah... excitable at times.”
“If it’s even a fraction of how obnoxious Misa can get, I think I’ll be happy for the decrease in volume,” L said dryly, hooking his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans as he followed Light up the walkway.
Light glanced behind him with an evil grin, only to be nearly bowled over by the shrieking, flying body that came hurtling out of the house. “LIIIIIIGHT, you’re home!” L stopped in his tracks, eyes wide, shoulders immediately hunching as he brought his thumb up to his mouth in reaction. What in the hell?
“I missed you so much - how’s the case going? Tell me everything you can, before mom can tell me to leave you-“ The babbling girl shut up abruptly once her eyes came to rest on L, and she punched Light in the shoulder, pulling a wince from him. “Hey, you and dad didn’t say anything to me about bringing a friend with you! Does mom know? Does he-“
“Sayu, holy crap, just breathe, would you?” Light said, finally managing to get a word in edgewise as he pushed her away slightly, laughing at the onslaught.
“I can breathe fine, just because you can’t keep up, it’s not my fault,” Sayu announced, laughing before bouncing forward and bobbing into a short bow in front of L. “Hi, I’m Sayu! Are you a friend of Light’s?”
L looked to Light for a moment, eyes still wide, and when Light nodded, he returned a short bow to the teen, voice soft. “Yes... I work with Light-kun and your father.”
“So you’re working the Kir-“
“SAYU,” Light said loudly, cutting her off abruptly. “Come on, not here, please.”
“Oh right, nobody knows what’s supposed to be happening there... sorry,” Sayu said, not deterred in the slightest. She smiled at L and mimicked his pose for a moment before laughing and asking in a pointedly teasing way, “So what do I call you, mister NPA man?”
“Sorry... you can call me Ryuzaki,” L said, wincing at the way she pointed out his faux pas. I know the culture, I should have remembered to introduce myself. Still, he was bemused by her automatic assumption that he was part of the NPA... and more amused by how effortlessly she picked up his mannerisms. Interesting. She shares some of Light’s more chameleon like abilities.
“Ryuzaki?” Sayu thought for a moment, studying him before beaming. “Cool. Hey, want to come in? Mom’s just getting some things ready before we go out, but I’m sure she’d love to meet you before we leave.”
“Hey, that’s my job,” Light protested, laughing.
“Hey, big brother, you haven’t been around for a while, you should know by now that if you snooze, you lose!” With that, Sayu darted forward to grab L’s arm and drag him into the house before Light could stop her, calling loudly, “MO-OM, come meet dad and Light’s friend from work! He’s foreign!”
“Sayu, what the hell!” Light called after them, hurrying to catch up. “You can’t just drag people you’ve just met around like you would me!”
“It’s okay, Light-kun, I’m fine,” L called back, caught between amusement and bewilderment over the youngest Yagami’s enthusiasm. Sayu gave him a conspiratorial grin and then let go, relenting.
“Fine, Light, if you want to introduce him so bad, this is a good time to trade... but you owe me something!” She pointed to L and said, “Ryuzaki, you need to take your shoes off before you go any further, anyway. I almost forgot. Mom would’ve killed me.”
Oh thank goodness. L immediately crouched to loosen the laces a bit more and stood again, stepping on the backs of each shoe to get them comfortably loose before stepping out of them. He hadn’t had time to do that on the way over. Looking up, he found both Light and Sayu watching him curiously.
“I don’t know anyone who wears sneakers with no socks,” Sayu said, and Light laughed.
“He never even wears shoes, if he can help it, Sayu, this is nothing.”
“Whatever. What are you going to give me?” Sayu stepped in front of L and smirked at her brother, hands on her hips.
“I’m not trading you something just because you want to be the one to show Ryuzaki around, Sayu,” Light said, rolling his eyes and glancing over to see L’s reaction to all of this. For his part, L was simply watching, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. “You never cared when dad brought other coworkers home for any reason.”
“That’s because those other guys were all old and boring,” Sayu responded, glancing back at L with a little smile. Wait a second. What does she mean by THAT? She can’t think I’m cool. “And all of your other friends are always trying waaay too hard to be cool or trendy.”
Light’s eyes widened at that, and suddenly he was the one smirking. “Sayu. Go get mom. Now.”
What is going on here? L looked between the two siblings, brow furrowed in confusion. “Um. If it’s alright with you two, I’m just going to-“
“Ryuzaki, wait for a minute, please,” Light said, staring hard at his sister, who was scowling at him now.
“I’m not getting her until you promise me something,” Sayu said firmly.
“And what is it you want so bad that you’re holding my friend for ransom?” Light asked teasingly.
Sayu flushed suddenly at that, sending an embarrassed look back in L’s direction.
“What is going on?” L finally asked, chewing on his thumb as he watched the exchange. Nothing quite like this had happened during his surveillance. Sure, they had teased and argued like any normal siblings, but this was an extreme reaction for Sayu.
“Nothing!” Sayu squeaked, her gaze flickering over his face before she flushed even more and hurried away.
L stared after her and then turned to Light in confusion, only to be met with Light’s gloating laughter. “Would you care to fill me in? I don’t understand.”
“Mmm... I’m not sure I should tell you yet, Ryuzaki,” Light said, grinning. “I want to know if you can figure it out for yourself. You’ve got all day.”
“... Gee, thanks,” L said, giving him a flat look.
“On the other hand, I’ll say this... I’m going to enjoy today a lot more than I originally thought,” Light laughed, reaching out to press a hand to the small of L’s back and steer him towards the kitchen. Glad you’re enjoying yourself at my expense, Light. L could hear Soichiro’s voice as they got close and cocked his head curiously to make out what he was saying.
“-mily of his own,” Soichiro finished explaining, to sympathetic noises from the ladies, and his mouth twisted into a grimace as he paused, glancing at Light.
“Why is everyone so hung up on my orphan status today?” he whispered to his boyfriend, annoyance and embarrassment churning in his gut.
“It makes you sympathetic,” Light whispered back. “And is a good explanation for why you’re here, otherwise mom probably would have a problem with a stranger being here for our family holiday.”
Snorting, L tried unsuccessfully not to smirk as he thought to himself, Ha! Called that... His heartbeat sped up a moment later when Light pushed him gently forward, and he cast one last nervous look at his boyfriend before taking a deep breath and stepping into the room, gaze falling to the floor out of habit.
“Hey mom!” Light said cheerfully, stepping around him and going to hug the diminutive woman warmly, leaving L to stand there awkwardly, trying to decide what to do with his hands. His pockets weren’t deep enough to use for his usual anxiety fix, and he really didn’t want to make a bad impression on Light’s mother by sticking his fingers in his mouth. And after all my tough talk of not changing to please them. Shows how much THAT was worth.
“Light! It’s so good to see you!” Pulling back, Sachiko reached up to press her hands to Light’s cheeks, smiling up at him, and L stared, unable to suppress a tiny, somewhat bittersweet smile at the sight. “It’s been too long.”
“I know mom, sorry, we’ve been working really hard on the case,” Light said, smiling softly down at her before laughing and looking over at L, beckoning with one hand. Well, I guess I can’t put it off any longer. “Speaking of... this is Ryuzaki, he’s been working with us, too. Ryuzaki, this is my mother, Sachiko.”
“It’s very nice to meet you, Sachiko-san,” L said quietly, bowing formally to her and keeping his eyes down as his face flushed. Should I have used her last name instead of..? Damn. It’s too late to fix that now. Be respectful, keep your distance. “It sounds like you didn’t know I would be coming today, so I... apologize if my presence is going to make the rest of the day difficult. I promise I won’t get in the way.”
Smiling warmly, Sachiko stepped forward to grasp one of L’s hands briefly, bowing to him as well as she said, “There’s no need to apologize, Soichiro explained your situation. It’s very nice to meet you, too, Ryuzaki. You can call me Sachiko, if you like.”
For a moment, L forgot himself, and his wide gaze flickered up to make contact with her warm eyes before he looked back down, clasping his hands nervously in front of him as a lump formed in his throat. That was... unexpectedly kind of her, he thought, swallowing hard before glancing around at the others. Soichiro looked surprised by his wife’s reaction, and L really couldn’t blame him. Sayu was grinning, and Light was practically beaming at him as he hovered close to them, which helped a little to calm his nerves.
“T-thank you,” he murmured, smiling a little at her. “You, uh... won’t be offended if I stick to... formality for now?”
“No, of course not,” Sachiko laughed, turning away to check that everything was in order in the kitchen before removing her apron. “Whatever makes you most comfortable, Ryuzaki. Now... has my husband explained how we usually run our day, or did he conveniently forget to give you details as well?”
L’s gaze shot up again, darting quickly around the room to take in the atmosphere as Sayu burst out laughing, and his mouth dropped open in surprise. Light was looking at Soichiro in embarrassment, who just gave Light a fondly irritated scowl. And Sachiko was smiling smugly to herself. All of them have the same sense of humor, L thought to himself, his own lips twitching up in amusement as he began to relax.
“Well... that would be a no,” he said, cautiously teasing, glancing at the chief as he did. Soichiro frowned at him, but L could see the way his mouth twitched underneath the mustache and betrayed the fact that he wasn’t bothered by the teasing. Okay. He could work with this.
“Well then, we’ll have to remedy that,” Sachiko said briskly, laughing again. “We’ll be heading out to the cemetery shortly. Light, how about you show him where everything important is?”
“You got it, mom,” Light said with a smile, blushing slightly. He nudged L with his elbow, and motioned for him to follow, saying in a slightly louder than necessary voice, "Come on, Ryuzaki, you're gonna love it."
“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you have one of these, Ryuzaki, they’re so hard to get a hold of!” Sayu exclaimed, leaning over Light to grab for the iPod mini in L’s hand. He just smiled and let her take it, beginning to shuffle through his music library.
“I was able to reserve it, I got one of the first ones released,” L said, tugging the headphones out of jack and stuffing them into his pocket. He noticed the way Light winced and had to stop himself from sticking his tongue out at him. It amused him to no end how much Light absolutely hated his carelessness in regards to his belongings.
“No way! You’re so lucky!” Sayu gasped, eyes wide. “And you have so much music on here! I don’t even know who half of these artists - wait, is that Evanescence?” She began laughing. “Awesome.”
“Really?” L smirked and glanced at Light. “Your brother thinks that makes me emo, whatever that means. He won’t stop teasing me about it.”
“She sounds like she’s going to cry in every single song,” Light said, rolling his eyes at the pair of them before eyeing L. “Besides, you already look like you’re wearing heavy eyeliner on a regular basis, and if you suddenly decided to wear all black one day, with that hair? You would fit in with the emo kids, no questions asked.”
“Light-kun, that’s not nice, I can’t help the way I look,” L said, pressing his fingers against his mouth to hide the amused smile on his face.
“Wait, you’re not wearing eyeliner?” Sayu teased, sticking out her tongue when L threw a mock glare her way.
“Alright, children, enough bickering before it becomes real,” Soichiro spoke up from the front seat, sounding exasperated.
“Aww, we’re just having fun, dad, this is the longest car ride I’ve ever been on,” Sayu complained, pouting as she continued to click through the artist list. “Ooh, Gackt! He’s so pretty, good choice! Malice Mizer, Dir en Grey...” She looked up and grinned. “You really like heavy metal, don’t you?”
“They have good music,” L said, slightly defensively, shifting under Light’s amused scrutiny.
“And it has nothing to do with how awesome they look, riiight?” L rolled his eyes, and Sayu just giggled, going back to her scrolling before frowning. “Hey, there’s a bunch of random names on here that are showing up in different combinations, what is that?”
Light glanced down at the tiny screen and said, “I’m seeing lots of Kristin Chenoweth on this list.”
“Oh, uh...” This time, L actually did flush, embarrassed. “That would be the cast recording of Wicked...”
Sayu gave him a blank look and then shrugged. “I don’t know what that is. Is it like a musical or something?”
“Yeah, it started on Broadway last year,” L said, glancing at Light. He seemed just as bewildered, and it was honestly a bit of a relief. I forgot that was on there. Maybe I should take it off, it would probably make me seem pro-Kira if the chief ever hears any of the songs. “Sayu-chan, can I have that back now?”
“But I want to see what else you - OH MY GOD, you listen to Whitney Houston!”
Light’s mouth dropped open in amused surprise at that, and, face flaming, L leaned across him quickly and plucked the device from Sayu’s grasp, getting no resistance from the cackling teenager. “Okay, Ryuzaki, I would have never pegged you for listening to cheesy 80’s dance music.”
“Shut up, Light-kun,” L said sulkily, sliding down on the seat and turning away, folding his arms in front of him.
“I happen to like Whitney Houston,” Sachiko spoke up, attempting to sound reassuring.
“Yeah, but mom, that’s because you’re old,” Sayu teased, leaning forward to drape her arms over the back of the woman’s seat.
“Sayu, sit up properly,” Sachiko said, laughing. She didn’t seem the slightest bit annoyed by Sayu’s teasing. “Ryuzaki, what are your favorite songs?”
“Um.” L glanced over at her, and then peeked at Light, who was smirking at him. While he was grateful for the show of support, it was a switch to go from sulking to trying to furiously think of something that wasn’t one of her emotional love ballads or the more risque dance numbers, but considering her catalog, that was a difficult feat. “Honestly? Most of my favorites are from soundtracks.”
Sayu spoke up, teasingly, “Is it ‘I Will Always Love You’?”
“And so what if it is?” Sachiko asked, laughing. “That’s my favorite. That and ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody’.”
“I know, it’s ‘I’m Every Woman’, isn’t it Ryuzaki?” Light teased, elbowing L gently in the side and letting his hand slip down to squeeze surreptitiously at his fingers. That brief moment of affection made L’s heart pound, and he curled his own fingers into Light’s before reluctantly withdrawing them.
“‘I Have Nothing’,” L blurted out suddenly, immediately regretting saying anything when Sachiko smiled over at him, and he glanced quickly at Light again before looking down. “I hated the movie it was from, but I always liked the songs. That one has... it’s always been my favorite. I can’t explain why.” Liar. You’ve only started to appreciate it recently. He desperately hoped Light wasn’t familiar with the lyrics, because that was a little more transparent than he had wanted to be. Damn it, Light. You’re making me do stupid, impulsive things today.
“I don’t remember if I’ve ever heard that one,” Light said, frowning. “Mom, don’t you have all her soundtracks?”
“I do, Light.”
“Which one is that song on?” he asked, ignoring the way L was glaring at him. Stop ignoring me, Light.
Her gaze flickered between Light and L for a moment before she smiled. “The Bodyguard soundtrack. And no, I won’t play it for you when we get home, since I will be cooking.”
“It’s okay, Light,” Sayu giggled. “You can always steal Ryuzaki’s iPod and listen to it, if it’s his favorite, it’s probably on there!”
“He will do no such thing,” L declared, narrowing his eyes at the two teens.
“Alright, come on you three, that’s enough,” Soichiro said, sounding actually annoyed this time. “Talk about anything else, please.”
There was silence for a long moment as Sayu stared at him, and L exchanged amused glances with Light before all three of them collapsed into poorly muffled laughter. Soichiro just let out a ‘hmmph!’ from the front seat.
“Relax dear, let them have their fun,” Sachiko said, patting the chief’s leg. “We’re almost there, so it’s better to get the silliness out now.”
“Yes, well...” That mutter was enough to set them off again, and L had to admit (privately, of course) that today wasn’t turning out as uncomfortably as he had thought it might.
For those who aren't familiar with it, the Japanese Autumnal Equinox is a national holiday usually reserved as a family day to honor one's ancestors. In 2004, it fell on Thursday, September 23rd.
After reading one of the one shots that stated L likes to go to concerts in his free time, I've been operating under the head canon that he's a big music fanatic... and that he probably isn't tied to any particular genres. This is just the first time I've actually named any artists in particular he might like.
I still do not own Death Note.
Chapter 3: Melancholia
When L takes a solitary walk in the graveyard, he receives an unexpected reminder of his past.
This chapter rated T, verging on M for some dark/sad imagery.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“Light-kun?” L said quietly, hanging back from the rest of the group as they walked among the headstones.
“What is it?” Light asked, giving him a curious look.
“I don’t feel comfortable intruding on this part of the day. It’s for families and their spouses,” L explained, fidgeting, his gaze flitting over names.
“And significant others,” Light reminded him, smiling slightly, and L snorted.
“Need I remind you that only you and I are aware of that fact? I am not comfortable with this.”
Light was quiet as they walked, and finally he said softly, “At least come with us as far as the plot so you know where we’ll be, and then you can do... whatever it is you were planning on doing.”
“Listening to my music and letting you all go about your day?” L said with a small smile.
“You have your phone on you?” When L shook his head, Light sighed and took off his watch, stopping and taking L’s hand in his as he fastened the metal around his wrist, fingers gently caressing his skin. L’s breathing stuttered slightly, and he stared at Light’s face, all soft concentration as he silently willed him to look up. When he finally did, they shared a tiny, fond smile before Light let his hand go reluctantly. “We’re going to have some lunch around two. Wherever you go, make your way back by then if you’re hungry, okay?”
“Of course, Light,” L murmured, staring down at the watch in slight awe. Light never parted from it, and he hadn’t expected this, in all honesty.
“Now come on, we’re almost there.”
Sure enough, they caught up to the others just as they reached the Yagami family plot. L stepped forward to read the names on the grave curiously, idly tracing at his bottom lip as his gaze flitted among the other headstones. Only when Sachiko politely excused herself and came to stand beside him did he step back, apologizing quietly.
He retreated to speak to Soichiro and said in a soft voice, “Yagami-san... I don’t want to intrude. I’m going to take a walk, if that’s alright with you.”
“Of course, Ryuzaki,” Soichiro replied, gaze falling with a raise of his eyebrows to the watch on his wrist. “I take it Light has already told you when to be back by?” When L nodded, Soichiro let out an ‘ah’ of understanding. “Then I will see you then. Don’t disturb anyone else, Ryuzaki.”
“I won’t, I understand the significance of today, sir.” With one more nod, Soichiro returned to his own tasks, and L slipped away quietly, fumbling for his headphones and putting some music on as he wandered through the gravestones.
It was a uniquely serene experience, wandering through the cemetery and taking in it’s haunting beauty without actually being a part of it; there was a sense of reverent purpose in the quiet rituals people went through to clean and maintain family plots that brought a ghost of a smile to his lips. More than that, he noted the feeling of calm and peaceful stillness over the graves that had already been visited that day, the flowers left behind varied widely in colour and type, but all placed lovingly below the headstones. The ones that really captured his attention were the graves that seemed to have a pall of sadness hanging over them; the ones that clearly hadn’t been cleaned or tended to in years, in some cases to the point that the kanji was starting to fade. Each time he came to one such grave, he drifted towards it, touching the engravings and each time, he came away disappointed, and a little more melancholy when it wasn’t the name he was searching for. L didn’t remember offhand, as he had been very young, but he thought that his parents may have been buried in this very cemetery, and that was the real reason he had wanted to go off on his own. He wanted to try and find a piece of his own history, and really, was that so wrong?
As the time slipped away, though, he only found himself growing more and more discouraged. He remembered there had been some sort of funeral service, because he had attended it. But now... now he wondered if maybe he had remembered some things wrong. After all, Watari had been with him at the funeral, and he had been in that first orphanage for... a good length of time.
Stopping at another unattended grave, L let his fingers trace over the faded kanji engravings before whispering, “Do you also have no living relatives to take care of your grave?” A pang of heartache went through him at the thought, and he found himself wishing he’d brought his phone. Watari could have given him the answers he needed. If his parents even had a plot, he would never find it on his own, not in this massive cemetery.
“Tanaka Akimitsu,” he murmured, once again tracing the name as he turned his music off. It seemed disrespectful to be listening to music while standing here at a stranger’s grave. He sighed and then crouched to begin brushing debris off of the gravestone. “Forgive me, Tanaka-san, I know I may not be family, but... I can’t find mine. If it’s alright, I’ll tend to your grave in the absence of your relatives.” Maybe it was superstitious of him, but as he worked, the feeling of heartache seemed to ease, as if the long dead spirit had reached out from beyond the grave in gratitude. Once he had finished all he could do, he smiled shakily and sent a silent prayer of thanks to the spirit before standing and making his slow way back towards the Yagami plot.
Everyone was already packing up the lunch things when he finally got back, and Sayu came over with a bright, “Hey, there you are Ryuzaki, we- what’s that?”
Looking down at the mess of weeds and trash he was clutching in both hands, L just shook his head and asked, “Is there still a garbage bag free?”
“Of course,” Sayu said, eying him curiously before going to grab it. L didn’t explain, just deposited everything into it and wiped his hands off on his jeans. “Hey, are you okay? You look a little sad.”
Swallowing hard, L just smiled at her and said softly, “It’s... heh. It’s nothing, Sayu-chan. Don’t worry about it.”
Light came over just then and said, “Sayu, could you go help dad, please? I want to talk to Ryuzaki alone for a minute.”
“Ugh, fine,” Sayu said with a roll of her eyes, going to help the man fold up the blanket.
L watched her go, and then looked at Light, who was studying him in concern. “I was a little worried when you didn’t come back for lunch. I saved you some.” Light held up half of a turkey sandwich and a can of Coke, and L laughed quietly at that, gaze flicking up to Light’s before he reached for it. “Your hands are dirty. I’ve got a sanitizer wipe in my pocket.”
“Light-kun, you didn’t have to-“
“I know.” Holding out the can, Light gave him a soft smile. “I didn’t want you going hungry. Take this.” L took it, chuckling. Light took out the sanitizer wipe and began cleaning L’s hand as he said conversationally, “I heard Sayu say you looked sad. Is everything... okay?”
“Everything is fine. I...” L thought for a moment on what to say, switching the can to his other hand and letting Light finish his task. “There were... quite a few unattended graves. Hard to tell if that meant people just weren’t taking the time to maintain them, or if there was no-one left to do so. So I decided to try and help out where I could for one.”
Light looked up in surprise at that and stuffed the dirty wipe into his pants pocket before handing the wrapped sandwich to L. “That’s... surprisingly sentimental of you, Ryuzaki.”
“Yes, well...” L shrugged and looked down, stuffing the unopened can awkwardly into one of his front pockets (hey, it sort of fit) before unwrapping the sandwich and taking a bite. “It was the least I could do,” he said, making sure to swallow first.
“Did it help?” Light asked curiously.
L took another bite as he thought, and then gave a short nod. “A little. Felt almost like there was some... appreciative presence there at one point.”
Sayu called to them just then, waving them over, and without even thinking of it, the two of them fell into step together as L wolfed down the rest of the sandwich, licking his fingers as soon as he was done. Damn. He’d been hungrier than he’d thought. His cheeks flushed when he heard Light’s fond little chuckle beside him, and he crumpled the cellophane into a ball and shoved it in his jeans pocket, clutching the still unopened can of soda in his other hand.
“Why are you laughing at me?” he asked, sending a weak glare Light’s way.
“Because you constantly do adorable things. I can’t help but be amused,” Light said, smiling at him. L just sighed, wishing he could hold Light’s hand right then.
For those who aren't familiar with it, the Japanese Autumnal Equinox is a national holiday usually reserved as a family day to honor one's ancestors. In 2004, it fell on Thursday, September 23rd.
All I can say for this chapter is poor L.
I still do not own Death Note.
Chapter 4: Obscured
Domestic family life proves to be too overwhelming for L, and he needs a break. Sayu stumbles quite by accident on a secret talent ‘Ryuzaki’ has never shared with anyone.
This chapter rated T.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
I can’t do this. That was the only thought running through L’s head as he slipped away from the cozy domestic scene in the living room, trying hard to keep his breathing even. He hadn’t expected to get so emotional over seeing them interacting like that and just being a family, but for some reason, especially after the cemetery, it was a painful reminder that he had hardly any fond memories of his parents. Or many memories of those years, period. It was all vague impressions of kind eyes or a sweet, high laugh and warm arms around him... or the sharply painful, crystal clear memories of later years, of other children and adults being cruel. He had never really had this.
L hurriedly jammed the earbuds into his ears, scrolling through his playlist to find something calming as he sought out a quiet room away from the others. Preferably one with a wide window. He knew Light’s old bedroom had one - seemed as good a place to go as any.
“What the hell is wrong with me today?” he mumbled under his breath as he climbed the stairs, finally just picking a song at random and pressing play. Obnoxious guitar assaulted his ears, and he chuckled humourlessly to himself. Good enough. Play something obnoxious and loud to combat the noise in my head, yes? Because that always works out SO well for me. He shook his head as he ducked into the doorway, making his way over to the desk chair and dragging it close to the window before clambering into it, pulling his knees in tight to his chest and burying his face in them. Only then did he feel safe enough to let out the harsh breath he’d been holding in, though he still tried his best to muffle the forlorn sobs just in case anyone came looking for him, god forbid. It felt like he’d been holding the tears in since the cemetery, and it felt good to release the pent up emotions. Thankfully, it only took a couple more songs pounding in his ears for him to finally begin to calm down, and when he could finally breathe evenly again, he raised his head and rested his chin on his knees, bringing his thumb up to his mouth as he stared out the window at nothing.
At least now I can focus on the music instead of feeling sorry for myself, he found himself thinking, sighing. So he stayed where he was, letting his eyes droop as the songs shuffled to a more melancholy sound. Oh sure. NOW you give me the soothing music.
“Dinner will be ready in five minutes!”
Sayu sat up straight, grinning at that, and said, “Oh good, I’m starving!”
“Sayu, don’t exaggerate,” her dad said with a stern look, and she just laughed at him.
“Hey... where did Ryuzaki go?” Light asked just then, looking around with a frown. Sayu looked around as well and then glanced towards the hallway, thinking to herself, I thought I saw him slip out a WHILE ago, but I thought he was just going to the bathroom. I guess he didn’t come back.
“I dunno,” she said belatedly, getting up with a smile. “Buuut I need to use the washroom, so I’ll go look for him, okay?”
“That’s a good idea,” her dad said as he idly reached for a cloth to clean his glasses with. She rolled her eyes at his compulsive habit and bounded off, ignoring Light’s indignant glare.
Maybe I’ll get to actually talk to him for a couple minutes without Light trying to hog all his attention, she thought, smiling excitedly as she climbed the stairs. Honestly, she didn’t even really know why she liked Ryuzaki already, he looked like he needed a good month of sleep and he had a bunch of odd little habits, but despite that, he was funny and surprisingly soft spoken... oh, who was she kidding, she mostly just thought he was cute in that ‘emo’ way Light had accused him of. She would have never guessed someone who looked like that would be working on the Kira case.
“He looks like he’d be more at home behind a guitar, or something,” she murmured to herself, giggling. “Rockstar Ryuzaki!” Oh well, it was a fun thought. She was stepping into the bathroom when she heard a soft voice sound from Light’s bedroom. “Ryu...zaki?” Sayu murmured, stepping over and peering in. The room was dark, but she could see Ryuzaki’s hair silhouetted against the window. And... what the... was he talking to himself? “Hey, Ryuzaki?”
He didn’t answer, and she stepped in with a frown, only to stop when she realized that he was singing softly along in English to some song on his iPod, eyes closed. It wasn’t a song she recognized, but that didn’t matter, because she was transfixed by the emotion in his voice despite the soft volume. His voice is so... pretty... As he continued to sing, she was almost shocked to see that he was starting to tear up over it, and she found herself tearing up as well, even though she couldn’t really understand what he was singing. Swallowing hard, she backed away towards the door, not wanting to embarrass him.
“I can always come back,” she whispered to herself as she hurried into the bathroom. As she was washing her hands, she paused and began laughing delightedly to herself, muttering, “Wow, I wasn’t far off with the rockstar Ryuzaki joke.” I wonder if dad and Light know he can sing like that? Taking a deep breath, Sayu composed herself and put on an exuberant smile, bouncing out the door and into Light’s bedroom, calling out loudly, “Heeey, Ryuzaki!”
Apparently, she startled him, because he jerked in the chair, nearly falling out of it as he tugged the earbuds frantically out of his ears. “What?! Who- oh. Hi, Sayu-chan.” He frowned when she laughed and carefully stepped down from the chair, asking in a soft, petulant voice, “What is it?”
“What were you doing sitting up here in the dark all by yourself?” she asked curiously, coming over to roll the chair back under Light’s desk.
Ryuzaki stared at her for a long moment, and she had to fight the urge to squirm pleasantly under the scrutiny. I wish he’d stop LOOKING at me like that, he’s probably too old for me to be crushing this hard on. Why is he SO intense? “Okay, fine, don’t answer. I mostly came up to find you because din-“
“Sayu! Ryuzaki!” Light’s voice called just then from the bottom of the stairs. “Dinner is ready, what’s taking so long?”
Sayu just growled irritably at that, glancing at the doorway. Even when he wasn’t in the room, he was pulling attention to him. And as she turned back to catch a glimpse of the expression on Ryuzaki’s face, she could tell that she had essentially been dismissed; he had perked right up on hearing Light’s voice. That could only mean one thing. Of course.
Sighing, Sayu rolled her eyes and held out her hand. “Come on, if you trip and hurt yourself in the dark, everyone will probably blame me.”
“Just do it, okay?”
With a soft chuckle, Ryuzaki did as she asked, and she had to hide her happy little smile as she led him by the hand around the bed and out of the room. He let go as soon as they emerged, nodding to her in thanks as they headed down for dinner, but that was okay. She’d take what she could get until her suspicion was proven right or wrong. If he DOES have a thing for my brother, Light better be good to him, is all I can say, because he seems like a really sweet guy.
The song that Sayu hears L singing is the last verse/chorus of Mayonaise by The Smashing Pumpkins.
I still do not own Death Note.
Chapter 5: Unveiled
There’s always at least one more surprise in store. It turns out Light isn’t always as careful as he should be...
This chapter rated M. 😁
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
What a day it had been. It had actually gone much better than Light had ever expected, even though dinner ended up being... interesting. Between L’s clear inability to sit still in his chair, slathering everything in so much sweet sauce that even Sayu gagged a bit, and him forgetting at one point not to talk with his mouth full (and boy, had his father reamed him out for that), it was clear that L was feeling out of sorts over it; unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot Light could do to cheer him up.
So after dinner, while everyone was retreating into the living room, Light hung back a little and squeezed his wrist gently, asking in a soft voice, “Is everything okay?"
“I’m fine,” was the quiet reply, and L looked up at him with a tiny smile on his face. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, and Light couldn’t help but feel slightly bad that he was trying to put on a brave face. But L pulled his wrist gently from Light’s grasp and gestured for him to continue, and Light couldn’t exactly begrudge him for it.
Sighing, he went into the room, relaxing onto the couch, and feeling a little thrill go through him when L sat down on the floor, leaning back against his legs with his knees pulled up to his chest. I guess he got tired of trying to sit normally, Light thought to himself, unable to resist the urge to smile and ruffle his boyfriend’s hair with a fond chuckle. His father gave L a look but otherwise didn’t comment, and Sayu didn’t even bat an eyelash at his strangeness anymore.
The actual conversation was about nothing in particular. Light was a part of the conversation, as usual, and L stayed silent, observing like he always did. Light imagined that he had his thumb pressed against his mouth like always, and his weight against Light’s legs was a warm reminder that he both desperately wanted to and couldn’t touch him. He didn’t really think anything of it when L hoisted himself up after a little while and wandered into the kitchen (probably to get his sticky fingers into mom’s ohagi again, he’s already eaten so much of it - she’s going to smack him if he eats it all), but after over ten minutes had gone by, he did start to wonder why L hadn’t yet returned. Craning his neck to try and catch a glimpse into the other room, he saw L leaning against the stove, head down and seemingly in deep conversation with his mother, and to his surprise, he saw a half full wine glass cradled in his boyfriend’s hands. Wait, did mom... give him wine? He doesn’t even drink.
Leaning back against the arm of the couch, Light stretched out and let his eyes drift mostly shut, the better to covertly watch the near silent interaction going on in the other room. Honestly, it made him happy to see the way his mom seemed to be getting along with L, and a smile spread across his own face when L’s eyes went wide and a sharp, surprised laugh sounded clearly even into the living room. What are you two even talking about? he wondered, staring openly now as his mother gave L a brief hug before shoving him out the door, standing watch.
“Ryuzaki, you’re drinking wine?” Light asked, smiling as L paused in front of him.
“I only got a little bit,” L said softly, glancing back for a brief moment. When his mom nodded to him again, L hesitated, and then moved to sit beside him on the couch, pulling his feet up to sit in his customary crouch and clutching the wine glass to him like it was a shield. What is he doing? Dad’s going to kill him.
“Ryuzaki, what are you doing?” his dad asked sharply, immediately frowning hard at L and leaning forward. L’s shoulders hunched even more at that, and he ducked his head a little, face flushing in embarrassment as he took a shallow gulp of wine. “I thought I told you-”
“Oh hush, Soichiro, he’s not going to hurt anything,” his mom spoke up firmly, coming into the room with a full plate of ohagi. “I don’t have any problem with just letting Ryuzaki be himself, the poor dear has been a little off balance all day.”
Light’s mouth dropped open in surprise at that, and he mouthed ‘the poor dear?’ to himself, gaze sliding to his father, whose expression probably mirrored his own. What had they been talking about in there? He looked then to L, who was gazing up at his mother with a soft, grateful expression on his face. And you say you have no people skills, L, my mother clearly adores you already.
“Well...” His dad cleared his throat and then settled back with a frown, letting it slide. Sayu giggled, silently pumping her fist in the air in solidarity before giving their father an innocent look when he shot her a withering glance. “Then I suppose it’s fine.”
Score one for L clearly being a sweetheart to my mom, damn, Light thought to himself, grinning at his boyfriend. Did he play up the ‘poor me, everyone’s being mean to me’ thing? Or was it something else? L’s gaze slid to his and he smiled a little as well, cheeks still adorably flushed as he looked down again, elegant fingers now toying with the glass stem almost casually. God, I want to kiss you so bad, L.
“Hey, dad, do we have time for me to show Ryuzaki something before we have to go?” Light asked, reaching for the plate and snagging one of the sweets.
“Of course, Light.” The man gave him a puzzled look, but Light just grinned.
“Thanks. Come on, Ryuzaki, I think you’ll get a kick out of this.”
“Can I come too, Light?” Sayu asked, hopping up eagerly, reaching for the ohagi as well.
“Sayu, sit down and leave them alone,” their mother said primly, returning with mugs of soda before settling into her favourite chair and smiling at their antics.
L snorted at that, unfolding himself from the couch and snagging two, munching away happily before Light grabbed his wrist. “Quit hogging all the sweets, you nut.”
“But they’re delicious,” L mumbled through his mouthful, letting Light pull him from the room.
“Yeah, my mom is an awesome cook, isn’t she?” L nodded, glancing back and smiling when he saw that they were alone. He took that moment to stuff the rest of the ohagi into his mouth. “Okay, that is not attractive.”
L just rolled his eyes, chewing with some difficulty as he tugged his wrist free and then twined his fingers through Light’s. Oh. That’s why he stuffed everything into his mouth. Since L seemed to be in a better mood now, Light felt okay about teasing him, grinning as he said, “Aww, you’re sweet... but you still look like a baby momonga.” L made an annoyed little sound at that, and Light couldn’t help but to laugh. That had clearly been an accurate comparison to make. Asking what L had been talking about with his mother could wait; for now, he was just happy to be able to touch L without worrying how it could be taken.
They made it the rest of the way to Light’s bedroom hand in hand, in silence, and as he switched the lights on, Light was struck with a strange feeling: this room had been home to him for a very long time, and it was true he’d spent a lot more time in this room in the last year, but... it didn’t feel like home anymore. It just felt like any other random person’s bedroom. He stopped and looked around, wondering when that had happened, and was only startled out of his thoughts when he heard L swallowing and coughing softly behind him.
“Light-kun?” L stepped up beside him, looking up at him curiously and then around the room. “You wanted to show me your room? I have to say, I’m a little disappointed.”
“I thought you had something interesting to show me,” L continued, gesturing with the wine glass and a slight pout on his lips. “But so far, it’s nothing I haven’t already seen.” He gazed back up at Light and licked his lips, and for a moment, Light wasn’t sure if L was trying to flirt or trying to make sure he had gotten every trace of the ohagi from his lips. Not that it mattered, because all he could think about was kissing those lips, anyway. He led L further into the room, setting his dessert on the desk before reaching out to take the wine glass. L chuckled when Light paused, then set the glass aside as well and tugged him into a loose embrace, tangling his now free hand into L’s hair as he kissed him. He could taste the sweet rice on L’s tongue, along with a complementary sweetness that could only have been the wine, and that combined with the low sound that L made was an intoxicating mixture in itself.
“You taste amazing,” Light whispered, pulling out of the kiss to stare at L almost in a daze. “I’ve been waiting to do that all day.”
“And you wanted to bring me up to your old room to do it?” L’s voice was almost as breathy as his, eyes dancing with something amused and mischievous. “How obvious. Really, Light-kun, I expected better of you."
“And you told me you had no social skills, and yet you seem to have effortlessly charmed my mom and sister into liking you right off the bat,” Light countered, trailing his fingers against one pale shoulder blade with a smile, delighted when L shivered against him. “Besides, you seem plenty into this little tryst, so don’t act all coy now."
L stared up at him with wide eyes, licking his lips before smirking, snaking one hand around to grope Light’s ass as he asked in a low voice, “Did you really bring me up here just to make out with me, Light?”
Yes. “No,” Light murmured back, nuzzling into his mouth. He leaned back against the edge of his desk and let his own hands slide down into the back pockets of L’s jeans, tugging him closer against him. “But now I don’t remember what I was going to show you. Are you annoyed?”
L smiled at the question, and instead of answering, he pressed himself close and kissed Light again, slipping that tantalizing tongue into his mouth and tilting his head up into the kiss. Oh... no, definitely NOT annoyed. Only when the kiss ended did L respond, murmuring something under his breath that Light couldn’t make out, even as close as they were.
“What was that?” he asked curiously, only to frown when L just smiled hesitantly and shook his head, beginning to flush.
“Nothing.” A pause. “I’m pretty sure I figured out what you were talking about, by the way. About this morning, with Sayu. But I don’t... quite want to believe it, honestly.”
“Oh?” Light grinned. “And what do you think you’ve figured out?”
“She doesn’t actually have a crush on me, does she?” L blinked owlish eyes up at him, tightening his arms around Light’s waist.
“What do you know, you managed to figure it out without me giving you hints,” Light teased.
“You know, I may not have much in the way of social skills, but I am not actually completely socially inept,” L said, narrowing his eyes at that. The annoyance faded away quickly, but he still pulled out of the embrace, if reluctantly, and began inspecting Light’s shelves curiously.
“So how did you figure it out? And when?” Light picked up L’s wine glass and took a sip as he watched his boyfriend wander. Okay, I definitely like the taste of this better when I’m tasting it on HIM.
“Well... most of it came down to the ways in which you and she are similar.” L crouched down to tug idly at one of the books on his bottom shelf, and for a moment, Light wanted to stop him, flushing as he remembered the magazines he had stashed there. But from the smirk on L’s face as he glanced back, he remembered as well, and instead pushed it back into position, saying pointedly, “You both tend to get agitated and deflect when someone stumbles on a truth about you that you wish they didn’t know. You figured out what she was doing way before me because you have the advantage of being her older brother, but that was a clue in itself. Because the way you two tease each other is basically the same. And the way you were teasing her about me today is the same way she was teasing you about Misa during dinner, who you are supposedly in a relationship with.” L stood up and walked back over to Light, gently tugging the wine glass from his hand and taking a generous gulp, savouring the taste before swallowing it down and licking his lips again. “By the way, if you could remind me to ask your mother what this wine is called, please, I would appreciate you. That.” He stopped, eyes darting up to Light’s as he giggled. “I would appreciate that.” The slip made Light’s breath catch, even though he could tell from the way L was giggling that he had ‘slipped’ on purpose. And was potentially a little bit buzzed. He was definitely being more flirty and sensual than he normally was.
“L..” he breathed, reaching up to smooth his hands down L’s arms, making the attempt to pull his boyfriend back against him.
“Ah ah, none of that here,” L purred, and Light had to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment to get his sudden urge to ravish L’s mouth again under control. He opened them again after a moment, only to see L smiling at him from behind his wine glass, a knowing look in his eyes as he slouched in front of Light, clearly waiting to see what he would DO.
“Stop being so sexy,” Light breathed, clenching his fists on the desk.
“I don’t even know what I’m doing that you think is so sexy, Light-kun,” L said, his laughter soft as he retreated a couple steps. “But speaking of. Looking back on how you reacted to me, both before and after we met, it’s clear to me now that you had a crush. And once I remembered that, I also recalled how Sayu reacted all those months ago when you teased her about her obvious crush on Hideki Ryuuga. And it was similar to how she was reacting today. Which is... somewhat awkward, to say the least.”
“Why is it awkward?” Light asked softly, curious where L was going with this, and trying desperately not to get too caught up in the way L’s voice sounded right now.
“Well, for starters, because I am too old for her, and not interested, in any case,” L stated matter of factly, arching his eyebrows at him. He started to shove one hand into his jeans pocket like he usually did, only to grimace slightly at the reminder that he was wearing the ‘tight’ ones. Letting out a soft huff, he brought the glass back up to his mouth and swallowed the last mouthful of wine down, coming forward and leaning in close to Light as he set the glass back down on the desktop. He smiled again and whispered in Light’s ear, not quite touching, “And for another... I've been having amazing sex with her older brother for almost a month now, and... he makes me quite happy.”
“Oh?” Light breathed out, smiling at that admission, a thrill going through him at L’s words. From L, it was practically a declaration of love. “I’m glad to hear this guy makes you happy, but the thought occurs to me that you never answered my second question.”
“Remind me what that was, again?”
Light shivered at the sensation of hot breath in his ear and reached out to rub his fingers against L’s side, murmuring, “When did you figure this out?”
L hesitated in such a way that it made Light wonder what he had left out of his earlier explanation. “That... heh. Right before dinner, honestly.”
“Huh? That doesn’t even make sense.”
With a soft laugh, L admitted, “Okay, so the main reason I figured it out is because when your sister came up to get me for dinner... she made it very obvious.”
“Wait... L, what did she do?” Light asked with a frown, trying not to smirk at that admission. So that entire explanation you just gave me was made up bullshit? L, you are a sneaky bastard... and I completely fell for it.
“Nothing worrisome,” L reassured him, smiling slightly. “She was just very insistent on... holding my hand to lead me out of your room. She gave me an extremely flimsy excuse. I didn’t feel like arguing.”
“Wait, so you let her hold your hand?” Light frowned hard at him. I am going to smack her, what the hell? “You do realize that was leading her on, right?”
“Well, it was only for...” L screwed up his face as he tried to do the math and then gave up. Oh, he’s definitely tipsy if he’s giving up so easily. “I don’t know, three seconds? And it’s not like it’s going to happen again, and you had just yelled that dinner was ready, was I supposed to insist she go turn the light on so I wouldn’t walk into anything?”
Light narrowed his eyes at that and finally just reached out to grip the back of L’s sweater, yanking him forward against him and kissing him fiercely, once again tasting that heady mixture of wine and sweets and L. Breaking the kiss, aware that he was being possessive, he whispered hotly, “You’re supposed to not respond to my little sister flirting with you, you’re mine.”
L smiled slowly and surged forward to kiss him heatedly, making Light go weak in the knees. I wish I could have you right here in this room, L, but there’s no telling how much time we have to even do THIS. L’s hands pressed into his hair now, and it seemed to Light like the older man was trying to suck his soul out of him with the way his tongue explored every inch of his mouth, and he was painfully aware of the edge of the desk digging sharply into the small of his back with their combined weight. He didn’t care right then, much more concerned with touching as much of L’s soft skin as his fingers could find - and they found plenty, slipping up under L’s sweater and sliding against skin that felt a little too hot to the touch. The sounds escaping L’s mouth were almost desperately wanting, and finally, he had to break the kiss. “You are so hot like this. What’s gotten into you?”
“The wine seems to have gone right to my head,” L responded in a low, beguiling tone, shifting against Light in a way that made it very apparent how painfully hard they both were. “And now I think I know how you felt, being on the receiving end of my own impulsive, possessive behaviour last month. It’s.... exhilarating. I mean... I know we shouldn’t be doing this right now, but... I’m having a hard time reminding myself why that is. All I want right now is for you to throw me down on your bed and have your way with me.”
“Oh Jesus,” Light murmured, squeezing his eyes shut and clutching L to him, letting L’s low laughter wash over him in a seductive wave. “I wish I could, but it would be...”
“Shameless?” L supplied, tracing one finger along Light’s cheek and tapping his nose, prompting Light to look at him again. “Mmm... scandalous.”
“Ooh, it would definitely be deliciously sexy,” L continued, laughing more as he leaned in to attempt to kiss Light again, only to let out a small, discontented murmur when Light stopped him, eyes going huge.
“It would be all those things and more,” Light said quietly, unable to stop himself from stroking the skin at the small of L’s back. “But again, as much as I want to, it would also be a little disrespectful.”
“Oh...” Sighing, L nuzzled into his neck, and slowly withdrew. “I’m... sorry. I should have thought of that.”
“Hey, I never said I was complaining.” Light smiled and reluctantly let go, taking a deep, shuddering breath. He had to laugh when L retreated to the bed and flopped down onto his back, stretching across it in a nearly accurate approximation of how Light would often lay. “What are you doing?”
L looked over at him, and the arrogant and decadent posture on him looked... alluringly wrong. It was almost like looking into a dark mirror. And then L gave him a smile, and that tenuous impression shattered, because L’s smile could never be anything but uniquely him, somehow both knowing and charmingly innocent at the same time.
“I am trying to see what you would see when you lay here.” L turned his gaze back up to the ceiling, shifting to get more comfortable, and blinked. “This bed is rather small, isn’t it?”
Still want me to ravish you on it? Light smiled, gaze lingering on the flash of pale stomach he could see peeking out where L’s sweater had ridden up. Because the way you look right now, I will happily oblige, proprieties be damned.
“Did you ever dream about being a part of something bigger than yourself, Light?” The question was asked very softly, and Light blinked in surprise. That was a lot more philosophical than he had been expecting from L after all of his attempts to get into Light’s pants, and he moved over to sit down beside him after a long moment, saying nothing as he considered, trying to switch gears. L shifted onto his side, curling a little into one of his more normal poses as he reached out for Light’s hand, studying him with those huge eyes.
“I did. Still do,” Light said softly, not elaborating on that just yet. “But I think I’ve found myself a great deal closer to that something now that I’ve found you. I know this case isn’t going the way you want it, but I personally don’t want it to end. I don't want you to just... walk out of my life when this is over.”
L blinked in surprise and opened his mouth, only to close it again with a soft flush on his face. “That’s not...”
“What you meant? You meant a cause, right?” Light smiled when L nodded, and asked, “What makes you think that what you do isn’t worthy of being a cause?”
“Because I...” L hesitated and pushed himself up to a sitting position. “To be honest? My motivation for doing what I do isn’t exactly... pure. I should think this-“ he gestured between them, and then scooted forward to rest his fingers lightly against Light’s cheek and leaned in to kiss him gently. As he pulled back slowly, he whispered, “This should be proof enough.”
“What, you’re not working for justice for the sake of it?” Light teased quietly, laughing when L scowled at him. “Just because you’re acting on your feelings doesn’t make your work less noble. It just-“
Just then, Light’s phone buzzed loudly, vibrating in his pocket and making both of them startle. L stared at him with wide eyes, and a grin began to spread on his face as Light blushed.
“That’s probably dad, isn’t it?” Light muttered, digging his phone out. Sure enough, it was a text from his dad... but not what he had expected. His eyebrows shot up and he grinned. “Good news if you were serious about wanting to let me have my way with you. Dad wants to head out shortly.”
“What does it say?” L asked, curious. Light just snickered and clicked his phone off. L narrowed his eyes at that and warned, “Light... I don’t trust you when you do that. Let me see.” Light laughed openly at that and stuffed it back in his pocket when L tried to grab it. “Light- let me see it!”
“Nope, you can stay curious, sweetie.”
Light had known that a second usage of ‘sweetie’ in less than twenty four hours would tick L off, and he considered it a little petty revenge for that little confession, but he wasn’t expecting his boyfriend to growl and push him down on the bed, or to scramble onto his lap while he dug his hand under Light’s ass. He was clearly searching for Light’s phone, but all Light could focus on was how sexy the aggressive reaction was when he needed to stop this before it went too far. And he really didn’t want L to know what the others were planning for the rest of the evening, because he would definitely object to participating. So it was definitely only to preserve the secret that he bucked upwards, twisting his hips to try and get L off of him, and reaching down to grab his wrist to try and keep him from getting the phone. It certainly had nothing at all to do with wanting to rub up against his boyfriend a little more.
“Light, stop fighting me,” L panted, nearly face planting in the bed until his free hand slammed into the mattress. He glared down at Light, breathing hard as he curled one leg up under Light’s knee, effectively making it impossible for Light to throw him off... and there was the slightest upward tilt to his lips that betrayed how much he was enjoying this.
“Why should I when you’re trying to invade my...” Light paused, drawing the silence out to an almost uncomfortable length and enjoying the way L squirmed when he rolled his hips up into him. He gave Light a dirty look, tugging his hand out from under him and pressing it to the mattress beside Light’s head, fingers clenched into fists as he struggled to catch his breath. “Well, I was going to say privacy, but you’re not trying to get into my phone anymore, so I guess we’re good.” The expression on L’s face was priceless.
“You’re a jerk, and a tease,” L breathed, going still over him.
“Hmm, look who’s talking,” Light said, propping himself up on his elbows, enough that their faces were extremely close together. “You’re the one who’s just been molesting me, not the other way around. All because you wanted to get in my... phone.” Light leaned in to press a firm kiss to L’s mouth and then whispered, “You just wanted to grab my ass, admit it.”
“Not a chance,” L murmured, making to pull back, and Light reached out to wrap one arm firmly around L’s lower back, letting him have enough movement that it wouldn’t hurt when he pressed forward into L again. “Light-“
“Are you saying you didn’t want to just rub off on me?” L let out a sound halfway between distress and arousal, scrambling to try and rearrange himself in Light’s lap, and Light chuckled, knowing L had as good as admitted defeat. He smiled wolfishly and went for the kill, whispering the words through a stuttering breath against his neck as he tugged L’s hips hard into his again, drawing a pleasurable gasp from him. “Why else would you climb on top of me when you were pretending to be angry?”
L had nothing good to say to that, or really anything at all, merely shuddering in Light’s arms and squeezing his eyes shut as he breathed out harshly. It was still quiet enough that Light heard the soft thump outside his bedroom door, and he knew L had heard it, too - at least, the way he immediately froze in Light’s arms seemed to indicate as much, as well as the way his pulse quickened under his fingers. Shit.
“L, get off me,” Light whispered frantically, straightening up and releasing his hold on L. Thankfully, his boyfriend wasn’t too worried to stay frozen, and he untangled himself from Light in a matter of seconds, sliding to the floor inelegantly and standing up as casually as if he’d meant to do that. If Light wasn’t so worried about getting caught, he would have laughed at the endearing sight.
“Hello?” Light called, inwardly cursing himself for not closing his door. L stared at him with wide eyes, still breathing heavily and visibly turned on, and fuck, if he wasn’t the sexiest damn thing Light had ever seen, and this isn’t helping, idiot, focus on something other than your damn boyfriend. “Is someone there?”
To his utter mortification, and thankfully killing his ardor, Sayu’s grinning head popped into the doorway. “Did I interrupt something important, boys?”
L turned his head slightly to glance back at her, eyes still practically the size of saucers in his flushed face, and Light felt a rush of gratitude that the man was facing away from the doorway. He, on the other hand, was still sitting on the bed in full view of the doorway, and he knew it was probably completely obvious what they’d been doing.
“Sayu, what the fuck are you doing up here?” Light growled, hands clenching in the already mussed comforter. If she tells mom and dad, L and I are both dead men.
“Dad said you didn’t answer his text,” Sayu chirped happily, dancing into the room and going to sit at Light’s desk, plucking up the abandoned sweet and taking a bite, ignoring the silent stares she was getting. “He was going to come up to get you two, but I wanted to see what you were being so secretive about, so I said I’d do it. Luckily for you, riiight?” Oh Jesus, if HE had caught us like that, that would have been BAD. She smirked at them both, and L shot a terrified look at Light, thankfully missing the way Sayu looked him over appreciatively before looking away with a wide eyed blush. Light could feel his blood practically boiling at how she wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore. “So... you two are an actual thing, huh? Hot.”
“Sayu, what the fuck!” Light burst out, shooting up off the bed with fists clenched. L took a step towards him, reaching his hand out before dropping it back to his side when Light just stood there quivering in frustration.
“Relax, Light, your little secret is safe with me,” Sayu said, face serious now as she leaned forward. Her eyes slid to L again, who was being extremely quiet, and she addressed him as well. “Seriously. I wouldn’t dream of saying anything to hurt either of you. You’re my brother, Light, and I love you. And Ryuzaki, you’re really interesting, and...” Her gaze flickered down and then away again, flushing even deeper as she coughed.
“Thank you, Sayu-chan,” L said quietly after a long moment of silence. There was no way he hadn’t noticed her checking him out this time, but apparently, he had elected to ignore it. “That’s very... flattering. And quite kind of you.”
“Yeah, yeah, well... I can’t really blame Light for wanting to kiss the hottie detective he’s working with, so congrats on turning my brother gay,” Sayu said, starting to giggle behind her hand as she looked back and forth between them, still blushing.
“Sayu, stop it,” Light said with a groan, though he couldn’t help but to laugh as well when L gave them both an embarrassed frown, scratching at his head and hunching his shoulders in self consciously.
“That’s not how it works-“ L started to say, only for Sayu to laugh louder, doubling over in the chair.
“I know that!” She sent a smug look at Light. “Besides, I always knew you’d never actually go for someone like Misa. She’s not on your level like Ryuzaki obviously is.”
“Uh huh.” Light scowled at her and made a snap decision. If Sayu already knew, there was really no reason to hide it from her. He stalked over to grab the last uneaten bite of ohagi from Sayu’s hand, ignoring her protests and turning towards the door. “Are you coming?” he asked dryly, noting the way L’s eyes followed the dessert. Oh, so you like the sweets more than me, do you? Light laughed, popping it into his mouth and chewing as he walked towards the door, pausing long enough when he got to L to lean in and kiss him thoroughly, making absolutely sure that his boyfriend got a good taste. L’s hands came up to clutch at his shirt as he swayed, and Light pulled back, steadying him and smiling at the shocked looks on both L and Sayu’s faces.
“Well? Are we going back down?” he asked in as calm a voice as he could muster, acutely aware that his own heart was beating rapidly in his chest at the fact that he had just deliberately kissed L in front of Sayu... and holy shit. It struck him again how strange the situation was; he had just kissed the world’s greatest detective - no, the top three greatest detectives in the world - in his old bedroom, in front of his sister, and acted like it was no big deal. How had he gotten so lucky?
“I am never going to be able to unsee that,” Sayu said in a strange tone, her expression wide eyed but ultimately unreadable. Good. He’s mine. Find someone else to crush on. L, on the other hand, just stood there with a dazed expression on his face, fingers tracing at his mouth as a tiny smile slowly crept onto his face.
“Ryuzaki, are you okay?” Light asked, frowning slightly. This was the second time today he was worried that he’d potentially broken his boyfriend.
Sayu giggled then, clapping her hands to her mouth as she stared at L. “Okay, this is better than any drama, you two are the absolute cutest thing I’ve seen in forever!” She stood up and grinned, snatching up the wine glass and dancing towards the door, adding, “I’ll tell dad you’re on your way, okay? Light, you better stop short circuiting your secret boyfriend if you don’t want dad to figure you two out.”
With that, she ducked out of the room, laughing and L belatedly looked towards the door. “Huh.”
Light frowned and stepped closer, pressing his hands to L’s shoulders and looking him in the eyes before asking quietly, “Hey... seriously, are you okay? You seem a little out of it.” He paused, and then added, “Uh... again.”
“Oh... yes, I’m fine, Light,” L replied, his smile turning serene as he gazed up at Light, still seeming a little dazed. “Just... this is going to sound.... well, trite. Please don’t laugh.”
“About what?” Light let him go, instead beginning to readjust L’s clothes until they looked right again. L watched him, the ever present flush on his face more pronounced now as he smiled wider, eyes going a little glassy.
“I think...” L stopped, swallowing hard and looking away, blinking rapidly as if blinking back tears, and Light’s heart seized for a moment. Please tell me those are good tears and not unhappy ones, he silently pleaded, reaching up to touch L’s face gently. That pulled a soft laugh from L and he looked back up. “I think this has honestly been the best day of my life. An emotional roller coaster, sure, but... Your family is...” His lip trembled, and he had to look away again, swiping at his eyes and taking a deep breath. “Your family is amazing, Light. I wish I’d had... something like this growing up.”
There was nothing Light could say to that declaration that wouldn’t sound smug, condescending or trite (even if he meant every word sincerely), so he merely smiled and pulled L into a warm hug, letting the man bury his face in Light’s shoulder and get the emotion out, rubbing gently at his back and shoulders.
“I love you, L,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to L’s hair when it seemed like he was getting himself under control. “And... I don’t think what you said is trite. I’m glad you had a great day.”
L pulled back to give him an intense look, and for a moment, it seemed like he was going to say something. Light stared back, his heart hammering in anticipation; he had no idea why he felt so excited, but it felt for a moment like there was some sort of turning point they were reaching. The moment faded away when L merely swallowed hard and leaned up slightly to give Light a soft kiss, pulling away to straighten Light’s clothes and fix his mussed hair.
“We should probably go if we don’t want your father interrogating us on what took so long,” he said softly, not looking at Light.
“Yeah...” Light said in a similar tone, trying not to let his sudden disappointment creep into his voice. He had a sneaking suspicion now that he knew what L had been about to say, and if he was being honest with himself, it hurt a little that L still wouldn’t just say it when Light had been open with him for a long time now. Unless he doesn’t... feel the same about me as I do about him, an ugly little voice piped up in the back of his head. He pushed it away, smiling shakily at L when the man peered up at him, and closing his fingers around L’s. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
Sayu is an angel. And tipsy L is super fun to write. =D
p.s. This isn’t the end of the night for the boys, just the end of the family part of the story. If anyone is interested in karaoke shenanigans (which Light is going to pay for, lol), or actually-drunk!L, I will go ahead and post what I'm working on. >=3
I still do not own Death Note.