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with you

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The first time Magnus catches sight Alec crying, he doesn’t see any of his tears. He just comes home to the loft one day, early in their relationship, to a muffled sound coming from the living room. His boyfriend is curled up into a ball on the couch, and Magnus’s heart breaks a little more when he notices one of his own shirt between the young man’s clenched fists. Alec’s face is buried in the fabric and the only indication of his sobbing is his shaking shoulders and the little whimpers and sniffles he lets out every once and awhile.

Magnus carefully approaches him, making his steps soft but still loud enough to let Alec know he is here.

« Alec ? » He gently asks, not quite sure what to do. Everyone has different needs when their sadness is high enough to be expressed through tears, and a two weeks long relationship usually wasn’t enough to know these sorts of details. When Alec only holds the shirt tighter without answering, Magnus goes to kneel in front of him. « Are you hurt ? »

About ten seconds pass before Alec shakes his head, his face still hidden in the fabric. Magnus slowly places two of his fingers on his boyfriend’s knee, and looks for any sign of discomfort caused by the touch. When he doesn’t find any, he lays his whole hand and starts to lightly rub the clothed skin with his thumb.

« Do you want to talk about it ? »

This time, Alec doesn’t answer. Magnus waits just in case the young man is only building up the courage to speak up, but when nothing comes, he understands that this silence means no. Nodding although Alec can’t see him, he continues to gently rub the shadowhunter’s knee with his thumb in slow, continuous circles.

« Is there anything I can do ? »

A few minutes of silence pass, and Magnus expects Alec not to answer again. He’s about to ask another question when a sudden warmth envelopes his fingers. When Magnus turns his eyes to them, he discovers Alec has laid one of his hand on his.

« Just… please. » Alec lets out in a strangled voice, choking back whatever tears are left in his body. Magnus intertwines their fingers and bring Alec’s hand to his mouth, tenderly kissing the back of it.

« I’m here. » he then murmurs, only loud enough for Alec to hear in the quietness of their world.

Alec breathes out what Magnus realizes is a shaky sigh of relief. As if he thought the warlock would refuse to stay with him.

What he didn’t know yet, was that Magnus would stay with him, in the softness of his words and the warmth of his heart, until all the stars had burned out and all that was left to light up the world was Alec’s only presence.