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Scattered Desires

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                The story Madame F told Sakurai was heartbreaking in the fact that it seemed that Leda was doomed from the start, to fail. “Did his Dominant have any information on the boy’s family life? There has to be some connection between his past and how he behaved as a submissive, this type of behavior is not learned over night.” Sakurai questioned.

          With a shake of her head, Madame F explained, “No, according to Genjiro he met Leda in a club and they went home together and had sex, it was at that point that he knew Leda was submissive.”  Sakurai sat back in the deep cushions of his chair, his mind working on how to tell Isshi, with causing the least trauma. “What we have ahead of us is the difficult task on how and when we tell Isshi what we have found.”

          Davina had been sitting quietly as the story was told, only offering her view after Sakurai had spoken, “Isshi has the absolute right to know about Leda’s past. He contracted the boy, so the question is not if, but when. I will call Isshi, and suggest that he bring both of his boys to the manor. Acchan, it may be helpful if Uta were here as well, Kato and Ormond will also be present, we will smother them in love, support and security. I will let him decide of course, on whether or not Karyu and Ruimaru will hear the information first hand, my thought is that it would be a softer fall if the boys where here with us.”

         

          Later that evening, Davina phoned Isshi and gently explained the situation, “Madame F has uncovered some information about Leda that you need to hear.”  Isshi said nothing for several minutes, and with a resigned sigh he agreed. “If you believe it is necessary, then I will come.” Davina could hear the shaking in Isshi’s voice.

          “Whether or not you’d like Karyu and Ruimaru to accompany you, is your decision alone, although I believe it would be better for them if they hear the story at the same time as you.” Isshi thanked Davina and promised they would meet the next day.  

         

          Isshi knew he’d have to ask Ruimaru and Karyu if they wanted to be present to hear the information on Leda, that Madame F had gathered. Calling his boys into his office, sitting them down across from his desk.

          “My lovelies, I just had a call from Mistress, it seems that there has been some information uncovered about our dear Leda. I will be going to Davina’s manor tomorrow to speak to Madame F. It is your choice on whether or not you’d like to come with me, and before you answer, Davina suggested that you both should attend me. Think it through carefully, I do not want you to decide right now.”

          Ruimaru leaned into Karyu, “I want to go, I don’t need to think it over Sir,” he said confidently. “I want to know what happened to Leda, Sir. Please let me come with you?”

          “Yes, of course you can. Karyu…would you also like to come? Davina did say that Sakurai-san and Uta would be there along with Madame F and Ormond.”  Karyu looked down at his hands in his lap, “If you want me to go with you, I will, Sir.”

          Isshi frowned, “Is there a reason you do not wish to go?” he sees tears falling. Getting up, he came around the desk and knelt down in front of his boy. “Karyu love, you do not have to go with me, it is your choice not mine.” With a hand on the young man’s thigh, Isshi searched Karyu’s face for a clue to his distress.

          “I’m scared, Sir. What if he did this all because of me? What if he killed himself because he couldn’t have me like he wanted?” Karyu sniffed. Isshi reached up to caress the young man’s cheek. “Karyu, I’m sure that is not the case, this is why I am agreeing to hearing what Madame F has to say. If you do not wish to go, please don’t force yourself.”

          Ruimaru reached over and put his arm around his co-lover’s shoulders. “Karyu, just come with us, I’ll hold your hand and I’m sure Sakurai-san will sit with you too,” he leaned in and kissed Karyu on the cheek, then looked at Isshi, casting his eyes down and blushing, he knew he wouldn’t be reprimanded for the kiss. “Are we all in agreement?”

 

          Arriving at Davina’s manor the next day, the men were greeted with open arms, Ruimaru going straight to Davina and Karyu to Sakurai. Isshi had given the two young men permission to seek out the other Dominants for comfort and support that day. Joining Madame F, Ormond, Kato and Uta, in the front parlor, Isshi and his boys were led to a long couch. Davina and Sakurai sat between the two young submissives, Isshi in a chair, and Uta standing next to Sakurai, all concerned with what they were going to hear.

           Madame F sat behind Davina’s large desk, waiting for everyone to settle in before starting. “Isshi, we spoke at length on whether or not to give you this information, Davina insisted that because you were contracted with Leda that you had the absolute right to the information.”

          Ruimaru clutched Davina’s hand tightly, looking at Karyu who had his face buried in Sakurai’s shoulder. “Go on.” Isshi nodded. Madame F proceeded with all the grisly details of Leda’s first Dominant and the subsequent obsession with another Dominant’s pet.

          Madame F sighed, “It seems Leda’s switch personality had gotten him in trouble before he came to you. It was an internal demon that he had been obviously battling with long before he was collared for the first time.”

          There was a long moment of silence before Isshi spoke, “It seems our lovely Leda was a tortured soul. It saddens me to think that I didn’t do enough to help him, but he hid it from us so well.”

          Ruimaru got up and went to kneel next to Isshi, leaving Karyu still clutching Sakurai’s hand. “Sir, we couldn’t save him because we didn’t know, he should have told you everything before he signed the contract, now the stupid boy is dead. I won’t be made to feel sorry for him any longer!” Davina gasped, “Ruimaru!” The young man with the bright yellow hair and cherubic face, glared at all of them.

          “I don’t care! He was a stupid selfish boy! If you want to beat me when we get home, fine! But he was mean to Karyu and stupid, I won’t forgive him for that… EVER!” He stood up and ran from the room before anyone could say another word. “Ru!” Karyu started to get up but Sakurai kept his hand in his, shaking his head.  “Kato.” Davina instructed her pet. “Yes, Mistress.” Kato left the parlor, fairly certain on where he could find Ruimaru.

          Isshi sat back in his chair, “This was more or less what I was expecting today, you rarely call me with such an ominous voice, Davina. I have no words to say…I can’t imagine how devastated Leda was, that he thought his life was beyond repair or redemption. If he had only come to me, or any of you and asked…” Isshi’s words trailed off.

         Kato had a hunch where Ruimaru had run off to, walking straight to the Koi pond, where he found the young submissive sitting on the low stone wall, petting Zeus. “I don’t care if I get punished, Sir can beat me but I won’t take back what I said. Leda was a hateful stupid boy.”

        The tall personal pet sat on the wall next to Ruimaru. “I agree that he was a stupid boy, but hateful? That I’m not sure of. I think you upset Mistress more than Isshi-san, she’s not used to hearing such vile language come from you.”

        Ruimaru stroked the large Koi fish, “He’s so much like Hercules, he learned quickly to come when Mistress splashed her fingers.” Wiping his hands off on his pants, he looked at Kato, “Should I apologize for my words, or just for running off with out permission?”

         Kato couldn’t help but like the young man, his face so earnest in his emotions, “I think you should apologize to Mistress first, then Isshi-san. Then I think you need to sit next to Karyu for awhile, he seems upset and unsure how to react right now.”

         Standing up, Ruimaru smiled, “Kato-senpai, may I hug you please?” Kato was slightly taken aback by the request. “Yes, you may.” The younger man threw his arms around Kato’s waist, a murmured ‘thank you’. Ruimaru went ahead of Kato, who chuckled. “Never in my life…”

     “We will be leaving now, I think my beautiful boys and I have a lot to discuss tonight. Thank you all for your concern, and thank you for shedding some light, albeit dark, on what our Leda was going through in his short life.” The three men bowed and left the manor.  Davina sighed, “Did we do the right thing by telling him? I’m not so certain now.”

 

          He was consumed with anger and generally hated himself, Shiroyama Yuu no longer existed, in his place was a self-entitled prick Rockstar; Aoi of The Gazette. Before he had met Yuki, being in a band, brought with it, certain perks; money, notoriety and any number of available men and women who would gladly sleep with him. He had tried to have a relationship with a bandmate, two years worth of what he believed to be true love with Reita. It only took one night, one huge mistake to destroy that true love.

          Since the night Reita found Aoi having sex with Arimatsu, he had tried everything he could think of to repair and reconcile his relationship with Reita, even going along with the plan they had to basically kidnap and rape Pon.

          Then there was Ayato, even Aoi could see that the beautiful young man was Reita’s one true love, the way they looked at each other, he then knew he’d lost his lover for good. Now he’d lost Yuki for good, sealing his fate with an accusatory text that he knew was a lie, yet he still hit SEND anyway.

          Aoi laid in his bed, still seeing Reita’s face as he screamed, yah…he was a piece of shit and he deserved nothing from anyone. How he would re-discover Shiroyama Yuu, he didn’t even have a starting point, let alone a plan. “Get your shit together asshole…do something about this!” Aoi growled at himself.

          The problem was; how to go about getting his shit together? Therapy didn’t seem to be worth the effort if he couldn’t go with Yuki, and he wasn’t sure seeing a shrink was the right path for him. Rolling onto his side he reached for his phone, hoping for a text from Yuki, “Dumbass, why would he text you? You should be texting him and apologizing for being a complete asshole.” Aoi snapped his phone shut, ready to toss it on the floor when something snapped.

          Opening his phone again, he paged through his contacts. “Just do it.”

          “I’m sorry. Shiroyama Yuu would have never said something like that to someone he loves. Maybe someday you’ll meet him, I heard he’s a nice guy, much nicer than that asshole Aoi could ever be.”  

          He put his phone in the drawer of his night table, then reached up and turned off the light.

 

          “He’s persistent, you have to give him that, but now it’s borderline harassment, and I’m sure DCR has had enough of that in the past.” Ken and Pon were having a late dinner at Ojisan’s, this time without the boys from Lynch. Ojisan hadn’t said anything, but there was a feeling of impending trouble, that he just couldn’t shake.

          Pon was tired of having to shove Akinori away from him constantly, the man wouldn’t leave him alone, always touching or leaning into him while they were working on the new album. “Maybe I should have Reita speak to him,” Pon laughed, “He could tell Akinori about how I’ve dropped him not once, but twice.”

          Ojisan replaced the beers in front of Pon and Ken, “The one with the long hair, he is still giving you trouble?” Crossing his arms over his chest, Ojisan had the same fierce look on his face as he did the first time he dealt with the boys from Lynch.

          Pon sighed, “Unfortunately yes, Akinori is still giving me trouble, it hasn’t gotten better, but he hasn’t done anything physical either.” Ojisan frowned, “Does your lover know of this problem?” Pon blushed, “Um, he just got back from tour…he’s been so tired I haven’t said anything to him, I’m trying to handle this on my own, Ojisan.”

          Ken and Ojisan gently scolded Pon for keeping the information from Die, reasoning that if the older man knew, he would put a stop to the harassment. The door chimed before Ojisan could scold Pon any further, with Ayato and Yuki coming in. “Irasshai young ones, what can I prepare for you tonight?”

          “Hey Pon…we really need to stop meeting like this!” Ayato chuckled. Pon noticed that Ken perked up as Yuki walked in behind his friend. “Not my fault you’re never home, poor Die must be lonely these days.”

          “Die is still recovering from tour, he’s been sleeping a lot and having me bring food home for him, which reminds me; Ojisan can I have a chashu pork to go please?” taking Ayato and Yuki’s orders, Ojisan turned back to his tiny kitchen, leaving the men to chat about their day.

          “How was the Diru tour? I haven’t seen Mao yet, but Taka said he had given him extra days off because Mao wouldn’t be able to walk.” Ayato smirked. “Die said it was good, nothing unusual happening, just a very straight forward tour for the band. How’s the recording going?”

          Pon rolled his eyes, “The recording is going fine, there’s some other shit that’s not.” Ayato groaned, “Let me guess…Akinori?” Pon nodded. “He hasn’t like physically molested me, but he’s just always there, invading my personal space.”

          “I’m guessing by the look on Ken’s face, you haven’t told Die yet, have you…why not?” Ayato asked. “Because I want to handle this myself, I don’t need Die rescuing me.”

          While Ayato and Pon were going back and forth, Ken had leaned over to talk to Yuki, “Bet you’re glad you’re not in the industry.” He said. Yuki cocked his head, “Um, why is that?” He totally didn’t understand Ken’s statement.

          “Uh, well you’re super cute… a lot like Pon. I’m sure you’d have a bunch of guys harassing you all the time.” Ken didn’t want to bring up Aoi, that was the last thing Yuki needed to hear from him.

          Yuki beat him to it, “I doubt it, I’m sure everyone has heard about me and Aoi, so I’m probably considered off limits or bad luck or some shit.” Yuki joked. Ken’s brow furrowed, “Not that I’ve heard…not that it would stop me from asking you out. You and Aoi are not dating, that leaves you free of any of his harassment.”

          Pon nudged Ayato, “Look,” he said nodding towards Yuki and Ken. “Really?” Ayato whispered, Pon just nodded. Ojisan interrupted the men by placing their food in front of them. “Your pork chashu will be done soon.” Ojisan winked as he told Pon.

          Ken was flirting with Yuki, who seemed to enjoy the attention, blushing at things that the older man would claim, “You’re much too cute to have gone out with Aoi…that’s why you should let me take you out.” Yuki at first thought Ken was teasing him, though the man kept mentioning taking him out on a date.

          Finally, he had to ask, “Um, are you like serious? You want to take me out on a date? I mean it’s okay if you’re joking, but…” Ken grinned, “No, I’m not joking and yes, I’d like to take you out sometime…sooner than later.”

          Yuki’s face turned a pretty shade of pink, should he go out with this guy? “Let me think about it, but I’ll give you my number…I’d like to talk to you a little more before I say yes.”

          Ken grinned, “That’s great! I mean sure, here’s my number…you can text me first if you’d like.” Ojisan was still in his tiny kitchen, wearing a broad smile as he listened to the young ones.

          Ayato was the one to break up the small party, “I want to be able to talk to Akira for more than ten minutes before he passes out.” Pon agreeing only because Die would be starving by now. “Promise me you’ll talk to Die, he needs to know what’s goin on, Pon.” Ken reminded his young friend. “I will, in the morning I promise. But don’t blame me if he comes hunting and barges into the studio ready to kick Akinori’s ass,” he warned.

          Ken had written down his phone number for Yuki, asking for a hug before he left, Pon opting for a ride back to the flat with Ayato. Walking to the car Yuki was quietly deciding on whether or not to accept a date with Ken.

          “He seemed pretty into you.” Ayato nudged his friend’s shoulder. “He seems really nice. Um, how old is he?” Yuki was worried about the age difference. Pon thought about it, “He’s never told me his exact age, but I know he’s older than Aoi, why, is that going to be a deal breaker?”

          Yuki shook his head, “No, not necessarily. I just wonder why he’d want to go out with someone as young as me, I’m sure he has other guys closer to his age that he could go out with.”

          Pon reached from the back seat and thwapped Yuki on the back of the head, “Stop that! You’re cute and funny, he’s obviously interested in getting to know you, cut the guy some slack, he’s not Aoi for fucks sake.”

          Rubbing the back of his head, he turned around, “I know he’s not Aoi! I just seem to attract older men, that’s all.” Pulling into the complex parking lot, Yuki went into his flat, leaving Ayato and Pon grabbing at each other, “We need to talk, now!”  “Wait, let me go get Die.”

          Reita was laying on the couch, snoring softly. “Hey,” Ayato whispered as he knelt down next to the couch, kissing his lover awake. “Hmm, hi.” Reita quickly grabbed the smaller man and pulled him onto the couch. “Uh, not now, Die and Pon are coming over.”

          “Man… why?” Reita whined. “Because we have some shit to talk about, so quit whining.”

          Before he could protest further, Ayato got up and went into the kitchen, “Do you want anything to drink?” Standing with the fridge door open, “Water please.” Reita rubbed his face roughly, “So what is so damned important?”

          “Let’s wait until…” Ayato didn’t finish, as Pon and Die walked in, Die holding a take-out container and eating as he walked. “Okay, what’s the big news that couldn’t wait until I finished eating?”

          Ayato gave Pon and Die the background info on Yuki’s text from Aoi, “What an ass…guess he hasn’t learned has he?” Die said through a mouthful of rice. “No, and it gets worse.” Reita explained the incident in the hall way with Yusuke, which led Aoi to send the text.  Ayato then pointed at Pon, “Tell him Pon.” Die stopped eating, “Tell me what?”

          “Akinori’s been harassing me non-stop since we started recording.” Die put his food down on the table, his eyes getting darker, “What do you mean, harassing you?” Pon tells Die the whole story, “He even was openly drooling over Ayato at Ojisan’s, which pissed Ojisan off, he gave the Lynch boys a warning which they obviously ignored.”  Ayato and Pon filled Die in on what had been happening while Diru was on tour, “On the plus side, Ken seems interested in Yuki.” Pon announced.

          “Ken? Ken Yokoyama is interested in Yuki?” Die was surprised, there was a significant age difference. “What? You’re older than Ken, aren’t you?” Pon knew exactly what he was doing.  “Only by a year, he’s between me and Aoi.” Die huffed. “Don’t make it sound like I’m a fossil or something.”  

          “What are you going to do about Akinori?” Reita spoke up finally. “I was thinking that maybe you could drop by the studio, and you could mention to him how I’ve dropped you twice, maybe if he knows that I’m not to be fucked with, he’ll stop.”

          Ayato laughed, “I would have paid good money to see that! Pon kicking the shit out of Akira,” as he laughed, he leaned into Reita. “It’s not that funny,” he pouted. “Oh yes, it is! The size difference alone is worth it.” Ayato giggled.

          Pon shook his head, “I want to keep both you and Die out of it, but if the story comes out, I can’t stop that,” he turned to Die, “I don’t want you involved at all, mister. The last thing you need is to be in a freaking fight with another band, we already went through that once.”

          The discussion moved to Yuki and Ken and the possibility of a match, Die giving his opinion, “I can’t say anything bad about Ken, he’s been in the industry a long time and I’ve never heard anything that would make me worry about Yuki’s safety.”

          “Same, he’s worked with our band a few times. He’s a hell of a better choice than Aoi.” Reita added. “I’m sure he understands that if he hurts Yuki, there’s going to be payback and it will be a bitch.”

 

          Ken Yokohama. Yuki looked up the man on the internet, seeing his age and his background, “Wow, he was really hot when he was young.” He giggled at a picture of Ken when he was in his twenties. He wasn’t pretty boy good looking, not like Aoi. There was no makeup, no wild clothes, just what seemed a normal guy, a bit of a punk that had major success in the industry. And he wanted to take Yuki out on a date.

          As he was getting ready for bed, his phone chimed. It was Aoi. “Shit, what the hell does he want now?” He thought about erasing the text without reading it, but something stopped him. “Fine,” he sighed.

           “I’m sorry. Shiroyama Yuu would have never said something like that to someone he loves. Maybe someday you’ll meet him, I heard he’s a nice guy, much nicer than that asshole Aoi could ever be.”

          “Yah right. That person doesn’t exist anymore and you proved it so many times.” Erasing the text, he closed his phone and finished getting ready for bed. “Nice guy my ass.” He muttered as he closed up the flat.  Getting in bed, he reached to turn the light out, stopping to pick up his phone.

          “I’d like to go out with you. If you have time this weekend, I’m off on Saturday.”

          With a snap, Yuki closed his phone and turned over, no longer wasting any thoughts on Aoi.