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Family Can be Built in More Ways than One

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Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

Aw I’m so glad I’ve got a new baby brother! This one’s my favourite

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial hey! I thought I was your favourite!

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@keeneryounot Eh. Your values fluctuate with the market. The other one’s currently making me pancakes so he wins

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@parkerpens you told me you can’t make pancakes????????

 

Peter @parkerpens

@keeneryounot …i forgot?

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial I hope you enjoyed having two brothers excuse me while I commit fratricide

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@sciencewranglerofficial @keeneryounot @parkerpens I swear to all that is holy in this world I will ground all three of you if you don’t stop this nonsense

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman You’re not my real dad!

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@sciencewranglerofficial Really. Out of all three of you, you’re the one who goes with that

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman Forgive me father for I have sinned

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial Darcy omg

 

Peter @parkerpens

@sciencewranglerofficial darcy yyyyyyyyyyyyy

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@sciencewranglerofficial @keeneryounot @parkerpens Anyone care to explain?

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman Absolutely not. @keeneryounot @parkerpens either of you blab I’m telling Dummy you’re both meanies who don’t deserve smoothies

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@sciencewranglerofficial @keeneryounot @parkerpens Please tell me you guys don’t drink the smoothies Dummy makes. I have yet to see him make a single drink without at least one inedible ingredient

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman Don’t be mean to Dummy :( it’s the thought that counts even if we pour it down the sink as soon as his camera’s turned

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@iamironman I have seen you drink at least three of Dummy’s smoothies. I think you even actually finished one of them

 

Pepper Potts @pepperpotts

@iamironman when you started typing on your phone in the middle of a board meeting I thought you were at least making notes on a new design. Not helicopter parenting on twitter

 

Peter @parkerpens

this is y @pepperpotts is my fave

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@parkerpens We go through all of this because I called you my favourite and you do me dirty like this. How dare

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@parkerpens You take that back right now

 

Pepper Potts @pepperpotts

@iamironman I will take your phone away right now and force you to actually participate in this meeting if you don’t stop bullying your children online

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

Wait they’re still in the meeting? Lmao @iamironman get your head in the game I want the company intact when I inherit it

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

The rest of us out here living in 2k18 while @keeneryounot still in 1918

bruh inheritance goes to the eldest *child* now not the eldest son. Which would be…oh yeah, me

 

Peter @parkerpens

@keeneryounot @sciencewranglerofficial bold u to assume any of us will get to inherit the company before the planet becomes an unliveable husk

 

SpaceJane @astrophysicat

@sciencewranglerofficial hey so you know today was supposed to be your day off…the thermoregulator’s broken again and it likes you best

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@keeneryounot @parkerpens @iamironman @pepperpotts Soz gang family time’s over, gotta go save Jake

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@sciencewranglerofficial you spelt Jane’s name wrong

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman No I didn’t. Jake’s the thermoregulator

 

Glenjamin @willwillsmithsmith

Lmao are you guys following this

 

siobhan with a b @theresab

Okay but can we just talk about this? #irondad

 

James @jimbolimbo

Okay so if Darcy is Dr. Foster’s assistant, who are the other two? I’m calling at least one of the boys being a real illegitimate offspring

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

wtf peter goes my school

 

Flash @ethompson

@moonmoon don’t be stupid it can’t actually be penis parker

 

Mj @mbae

@moonmoon @ethompson Peter has literally been telling everyone about his work with Mr Stark for about three months c’mon y’all can’t be that stupid

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

Apologies to Jake I just had to take a moment bc wtf @ethompson excuse me

 

Mj @mbae

Oh my fucken god he fucken dead

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@keeneryounot Hey fratricide is still off the table but how are you set for homicide

 

SpaceJane @astrophysicat

@sciencewranglerofficial Darcy you can’t just kill people

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial @astrophysicat yes we can

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@keeneryounot Am I a bad person for reading that to the tune of Bob the Builder

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

am I a bad person for reading this with popcorn bc Yikestm flash what have you done

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

Jane said if I kill anyone she’s not bringing my back anything cool from Asgard next time she goes :(

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

Wait I’ve got an idea

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman @pepperpotts @nadiareed @theamazinghawkeye @drbruce

Flash @ethompson

@moonmoon don’t be stupid it can’t actually be penis parker

 

 

Peter @parkerpens

@sciencewranglerofficial icantbelieveyouvedonethis.mp4

 

Mj @mbae

wowvine.gif

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Peter @parkerpens

how is this my life

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@parkerpens What happened this time

 

Mj @mbae

So you know how Happy picks Peter up from school and Peter thinks no one knows who he is?

 

Mj @mbae

*thought

 

Mj @mbae

For reasons currently unclear to us (re: whether it was of his own accord or bc Stark said so) Happy decided to come into AcaDec to loudly declare that Mr Stark wanted Peter

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

Incredible. @keeneryounot get here and look at what H did I love him

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

Also @mbae it was almost certainly 100% Happy’s idea bc he pretends he hates Pete but he would die for him

 

Peter @parkerpens

@sciencewranglerofficial okay 1 id die for him first and 2 he said i annoy him too much for him to like me

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@parkerpens Sure but consider: when was the last time he actually told you to shut up and/or put the privacy screen up?

 

Peter @parkerpens

@sciencewranglerofficial i thought that was just because he’d given up??? you mean he doesn’t hate me????

 

Mj @mbae

@parkerpens sometimes I wonder how you’re still first string AcaDec bc sometimes your oblivious is breathtaking

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@mbae you. I like you. @parkerpens you’re def Happy’s second favourite nephew

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial I better be Happy’s first favourite nephew

 

Peter @parkerpens

@sciencewranglerofficial @mbae no u guys can’t b friends the world is not ready

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@keeneryounot Of course @parkerpens Too late @mbae DM me your number we need to talk

 

Mj @mbae

*cackling*

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

pls excuse me while i cry bc everyone else in my class is friends with awesome people in stark tower and im not

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@moonmoon We’re all about collecting strays you’ve got 280 characters to pitch yourself to join the fam go itsfreerealestate.png

 

Peter @parkerpens

@sciencewranglerofficial @mbae @moonmoon i hate u all

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@sciencewranglerofficial Darcy you can’t just adopt people into the family without my permission

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman Down with the patriarchy, nothing but respect for MY head of the family peppotts.png

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@sciencewranglerofficial I want to be offended but I’ve already signed over my company I might as well sign over my family too

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman @pepperpotts

cindylou who @moonmoon

1 peter likes me he helped me set up facebook in 7th grade 2 michelle likes me she didn’t punch me when I sat next to her on the bus that time we went to oscorp and she keeps me on the acadec team 3 i make excellent guksu #starktoweradoptme

 

Pepper Potts @pepperpotts

@sciencewranglerofficial @moonmoon Mr Stark says the guksu sways it for him, you’re in

 

siobhan with a b @theresab

#irondad ‘s family out in full force today honestly livigin for this content #ironfam

 

Jade Foster @jade_fosterkid

Wait is there like open applications for the #ironfam now?

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@jade_fosterkid Sorry only open to Pete’s decathlon nerd friends

 

Flash @ethompson

I have the highest grades in our year in biology and second highest grades in physics, chemistry and maths. I’m confident with robotics and coding as well general sciences and have won several awards for my work throughout middle school and high school #starktoweradoptme

 

Mj @mbae

@ethompson all those achievements and you’re still only just good enough to be a reserve for AcaDec

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@ethompson are you Jared, 19? I said Pete’s *friends*

 

Glenjamin @willwillsmithsmith

If we didn’t already know they’re not a genetic family I’d say the sass is inherited bc the whole #ironfam is savage af

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Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial @parkerpens guess who locked himself in the supply cupboard in the lab again

 

Peter @parkerpens

@keeneryounot if its not dummy its tony

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@keeneryounot @parkerpens It’s definitely Tony

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@keeneryounot Don’t reveal my secrets to the whole internet! As soon as I get out of this cupboard you’re grounded

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

FRIDAY unlock the door please

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

FRIDAY are you tweeting this?

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@keeneryounot @parkerpens @sciencewranglerofficial Which one of you did this? Who turned my own AI against me?

 

Peter @parkerpens

@iamironman i got ned to do it bc darcy told me to

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman @parkerpens I told Pete to get Ned involved but credit for this idea goes to @mbae

 

Mj @mbae

B)

 

Peter @parkerpens

@sciencewranglerofficial wait what? @mbae u could have just told me. or just told ned

 

Mj @mbae

@parkerpens that would have been too easy

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

Oh no Tony’s almost out. I gotta get out of the lab

 

Mj @mbae

@keeneryounot You better watch out. You Better Watch Out. YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@mbae it’s too early for christmas vines

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@moonmoon hi hello we have had 0 interactions so far but apparently you’re our new sister so I feel like I can point this out: your twitter name is literally a 24/7 christmas and meme reference

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

brb dying of excitement at being called a sister by one of the iron kids (does this make me an iron kid, too?) #ironfam

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@keeneryounot okay thats a fair assessment but also consider: my name is just Like That. when youve got a name like cindy moon youd be a fool to pass up both opportunities

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@keeneryounot @moonmoon I’m on Cindy’s side here

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial of course you are, we’ve already established I’m your least favourite sibling

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@keeneryounot nah @parkerpens lost out when he said pepper was his fave. Which, valid, but I already said he was my favourite and then he turned around and betrayed me like that

 

Peter @parkerpens

@sciencewranglerofficial i cant believe u replaced me already. uve collected like 1/3 of the dec team now

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@parkerpens it’s more like 44.4’% when you count Ted, too.

 

Peter @parkerpens

@iamironman wait what have u done to ned?

 

Mj @mbae

@parkerpens Ned didn’t tell you? He’s got an invitation to the tower tomorrow after school

 

Mj @mbae

Whoops apparently Ned wanted it to be a surprise

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@mbae oh it was plenty a surprise peteshock.png

 

Jess @smallfishunicorn

Forget about keeping up with the kardashians I want keeping up with stark tower #ironfam

 

James @jimbolimbo

@smallfishunicorn ikr! I have alerts on for all of them and nearly got my phone confiscated in class laughing at Tony Stark being stuck in a supply closet

 

Hannah @nahmaamhan

@jimbolimbo it seems like exactly the sort of thing he’d do on a regular basis

 

Peter @parkerpens

@nahmaamhan it is

 

Hannah @nahmaamhan

ONE OF THE IRON KIDS JUST REPLIED TO MY TWEET I CAN DIE HAPPY

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@parkerpens what is it the kids say nowadays? Don’t call me out like this?

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman aw I’m so proud of you, look at you being Down With the Youthlings

 

siobhan with a b @theresab

right but I’m actually crying imagining Tony Stark just pawing at the inside of a closet door looking sad bc he can’t get out

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@theresab hey I’m pretty sure I came out of the closet in 1999. Isn’t there an interview somewhere where I angrily shouted about being bi and then threw a martini in the interviewer’s face for being queerphobic?

 

siobhan with a b @theresab

bury me with the words ‘angrily shouted about being bi’ on the gravestone. Tony Stark just told the new generation he was bi???????? In reply to my tweet??????????

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman I remember being ten and watching that interview while mum tried to hide her laugh behind her hands and tell me why that was unacceptable behaviour and I shouldn’t learn manners from you ever

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

Also because I’m wonderful I found a clip of it in the old server files and uploaded it to YouTube so everyone can appreciate it you’re welcome https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

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Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

Hey Internet I need tips for revenge gimme dirty and dangerous this is big

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial who did what now?

 

SpaceJane @astrophysicat
@keeneryounot Clint broke into the lab and replaced all Darcy’s glitter gel pens with biros

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@astrophysicat is that all? that doesnt seem like that much of a big deal

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@moonmoon how much have you actually interacted with Darcy?

 

Peter @parkerpens

@moonmoon its a v big deal

 

Mj @mbae

@moonmoon at the very least it’s the principle of the thing

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@ everyone who corrected me on the gel pen matter I apologise I underestimated the situation

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@moonmoon First of all, biros are unnecessarily boring I won’t have boring in my labs. Secondly, Clint is not supposed to be in my labs. Thirdly, Clint is not supposed to have my gel pens. Fourthly, Clint is a dick

 

James @jimbolimbo

Wait I thought Darcy was Dr. Foster’s assistant. What does she mean by her labs?

 

Jess @smallfishunicorn

That’s what I was thinking!

 

IronFam Fan @ironfam5evr

Lmao is @sciencewranglerofficial talking about @theamazinghawkeye ? Stark tower sounds wild

 

Hawt Guy @theamazinghawkeye

@sciencewranglerofficial I can’t believe you have to contract out your revenge ideas to twitter

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

Alright who told Clint?

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@theamazinghawkeye It’s either the internet or Thor. Which would you prefer?

 

Hawt Guy @theamazinghawkeye

@sciencewranglerofficial well I would have said Thor but now I’m concerned for my general health

Slyth for lyf @hisshissmotherduckers

Get Stark to wire his arrows wrong to electrocute him

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

don’t worry too much @theamazinghawkeye the internet is just Like That

 

Hawt Guy @theamazinghawkeye

@moonmoon Like what?

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@theamazinghawkeye That

 

Hawt Guy @theamazinghawkeye

@moonmoon I’m so confused @sciencewranglerofficial @parkerpens @keeneryounot a little help here?

 

Peter @parkerpens

@theamazinghawkeye sometimes the internet just b Like That mr hawkeye barton clint sir

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@theamazinghawkeye the internet is a scary place old man I’d choose Thor

 

Mj @mbae

@theamazinghawkeye You better watch out. You Better Watch Out. YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@mbae we have HAD this conversation

 

Mj @mbae

@moonmoon but it’s always relevant

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@mbae its nov 20 can you not wait 5 more days?

 

Hawt Guy @theamazinghawkeye

I am so confused

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

Woah woah woah @moonmoon 25th November is still too early for Christmas

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@keeneryounot no its not its after thanksgiving and a month before christmas it’s completely acceptable

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@moonmoon @keeneryounot Christmas starts as soon as Halloween ends

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial the sound I just made was not human no Darcy you’re wrong stop

 

SpaceJane @astrophysicat

@keeneryounot she’s had tinsel up in the labs since the first of November

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@astrophysicat @sciencewranglerofficial sdflgjhasldf tinsel????? Sdfjkslj in my Stark Tower science labs????????

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@sciencewranglerofficial so it was you who dressed Dummy, U, and Butterfingers up for Christmas unreasonably early

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman They like it!

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@sciencewranglerofficial what so do you want to just skip Thanksgiving altogether? I’ll cancel the plans

 

Peter @parkerpens

@iamironman no D: @sciencewranglerofficial don’t make him cancel aunt may is v excited

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman …if I temporarily remove all festivities from your lab will you refrain from cancelling the Thanksgiving dinner?

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@sciencewranglerofficial I agree to your terms

 

Glenjamin @willwillsmithsmith

Okay but if Stark’s invited Peter’s aunt I bet he’s invited everyone his kids have ever even smiled at he’s that extra he would

 

Hawt Guy @theamazinghawkeye

  1. Don’t tell Stark I’m hiding in his vents but

 

Hawt Guy @theamazinghawkeye

  1. Important update from Stark Tower:

 

Hawt Guy @theamazinghawkeye

  1. Darcy has gone to remove the Christmas decorations as requested and Stark won’t let her because he actually likes them

 

Hawt Guy @theamazinghawkeye

WHO TOLD STARK I’M HIDING IN HIS VENTS?

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

Tony just shot the ceiling I think Clint may need help @nadiareed

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Peter @parkerpens

Hi I’m starting a kickstarter to get my brother put down

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@parkerpens @keeneryounot I literally left you two alone for three minutes what have you done?

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial Pete started it

 

Peter @parkerpens

@sciencewranglerofficial harley started it

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@keeneryounot @parkerpens Do I have to call Pepper to get you two to explain

 

Peter @parkerpens

@sciencewranglerofficial !!!! no pls

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial Peter yote a whole can of super secret experiment juice at me and got mad when I tipped Dummy’s smoothie all over him

 

Jess @smallfishunicorn

@keeneryounot super secret experiement juice :eyesemoji:

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@smallfishunicorn classified

 

siobhan with a b @theresab

lol at darcy getting the boys to tell her what’s going on immediately

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@theresab They may only be baby scientists but they’re still scientists and I’m still sciencewranglerofficial

 

siobhan with a b @theresab

@sciencewranglerofficial how many scientists do you wrangle?

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@theresab Jane is the bosslady, Bruce, Tony, Helen when she’s around, Harley and Peter. Recently I’ve been on Ned duty, too. One time I got to wrangle Hank Pym it was very exciting

 

Hope van Dyne @hvandyne

@sciencewranglerofficial Dad was not impressed with your wrangling.

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@hvandyne Well maybe he should sleep more than five hours in fifty and then he wouldn’t need wrangling

 

Hope van Dyne @hvandyne

@sciencewranglerofficial I’ll pass the message on. Unfortunately, I don’t quite have your wrangling abilities.

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@hvandyne Wrangling lessons are available every Wednesday for all scientist adjacent persons

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@sciencewranglerofficial i go to a science school does that count as scientist adjacent enough to get in on these lessons?

 

Mj @mbae

@moonmoon @sciencewranglerofficial we go to science school and have to deal with peter and ned on a regular basis we better be in on these lessons

 

Hannah @nahmaamhan

I lowkey hate science but I wish knew even one scientist so I could have an excuse to try and get involved with these wrangling lessons

 

James @jimbolimbo

@nahmaamhan mood

 

Glenjamin @willwillsmithsmith

Darcy just casually throws out that she can boss around the greatest minds of our generation like nbd

 

Flash @ethompson

lmao everyone acting like this darcy woman has some great powers bc she can get parker to do shit. it isn’t hard he’s a loser

 

Mj @mbae

@ethompson I don’t understand how you think you’re smart enough for first string AcaDec and then you do stupid shit like this

 

NR @nadiareed

@ethompson do we need to have another conversation?

 

Flash @ethompson

@nadiareed no ms. R I’m sorry

 

NR @nadiareed

@ethompson I don’t think I’m the one you should be apologising to

 

Flash @ethompson

@parkerpens sorry ig

 

Mj @mbae

Iconique

 

Peter @parkerpens

why is flash apologising to me?

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@parkerpens he called you a loser and @nadiareed shut him down straight away

 

Peter @parkerpens

omg thx u @nadiareed but pls dont kill any students

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@nadiareed @parkerpens aww Natashalie you’re going soft

 

NR @nadiareed

@iamironman exploit my weakness and I will castrate you with a week old New York Times

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@nadiareed no thanks. Go torment @theamazinghawkeye instead

 

NR @nadiareed

@iamironman he’s busy with Darcy at the moment

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@nadiareed wait what. No. What are those two doing together? I forbid it

 

NR @nadiareed

@iamironman I’d like to see you try to stop her seeing someone

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman First of all: if you ever try to keep me from seeing someone I will disown you. Second: calm down we’re just talking business. Third: too bad so sad I already have a date with someone else

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@sciencewranglerofficial what business do you and birdbrain have to talk about?

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman Babysitting

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@sciencewranglerofficial @theamazinghawkeye why are you even considering putting her in charge of children

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman Hey! I’m wonderful with children

 

Hawt Guy @theamazinghawkeye

@iamironman I have no other choice

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

Wait @sciencewranglerofficial you have a date?! When where who what how why?

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman :)

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@sciencewranglerofficial no get back here and explain or I’m coming to find you

 

Hawt Guy @theamazinghawkeye

@iamironman Darcy said good luck and took off so have fun with that

 

Hawt Guy @theamazinghawkeye

I’m going to skedaddle before irondad decides to take it out on me whoop

 

Hawt Guy @theamazinghawkeye

#irondad

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cindylou who @moonmoon

just been to the avengers compound and im crying its so cool darcy is the best

 

Peter @parkerpens

@sciencewranglerofficial what have u done?

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@parkerpens I have done nothing wrong ever in my life

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@sciencewranglerofficial iknowthisandiloveyou.gif

 

Peter @parkerpens

that is a lie @moonmoon dont encourage this @sciencewranglerofficial what did u do?

 

Mj @mbae

@parkerpens we had our first wrangling lesson tonight

 

Peter @parkerpens

@mbae @sciencewranglerofficial wait u were srs about that?

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@parkerpens I’m always serious

 

Peter @parkerpens

@sciencewranglerofficial doubt

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial why are there strangers in the common room?

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@siencewranglerofficial never mind I refreshed my feed and found the answer

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@keeneryounot Why was I the first person you accuse of being involved?

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial bc youre usually the cause of these sorts of shenanigans

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@keeneryounot Ouch baby bro

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial Pete’s the baby not me

 

Abe @notthepresident

wait @moonmoon does this mean you’re tweeting from the Avengers compound rn? Is Peter there?

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@notthepresident hes being told off by @iamironman for breaking the ice machine on the fridge

 

Abe @notthepresident

@moonmoon what did he do to the ice machine?

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@notthepresident coca cola does not go in the ice machine

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

Wait so Peter’s the one who broke the ice machine but I’m in trouble bc I have some friends over

 

Peter @parkerpens

@sciencewranglerofficial theyre not friends theyre co conspirators

 

Slyth for lyf @hisshissmotherduckers

Currently trying to ignore the urge to put coke in the ice machine on my fridge

 

Peter @parkerpens

@hisshissmotherduckers i dont recommend. it nearly exploded the fridge bc of the carbonation

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@hisshissmotherduckers do it it was awesome it nearly exploded the fridge

 

SpaceJane @astrophysicat

@parkerpens @hisshissmotherduckers one time when I was little I put sprite in a water bottle and the whole bottom of the bottle popped out in the burst of pressure from the carbonation

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@astrophysicat I literally saw you do that in New Mexico

 

SpaceJane @astrophysicat

@sciencewranglerofficial twitter didn’t need to know that

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@astrophysicat Unless you also want twitter to know how many cups of coffee you’ve had today, I suggest you step away from the kitchen

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@mbae we are watching a master at work

 

Mj @mbae

@moonmoon I’m taking notes

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

i just want the world to know that mj is actually taking notes shes got a composition book and a fancy fountain pen and darcy is listing off tips on how to deal with scientists

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@parkerpens @iamironman @keeneryounot and @astrophysicat are still in the room and all look very offended by what darcys saying

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@hvandyne is also taking notes but on a fancy tablet that @iamironman is annoyed about bc its not stark tech

 

Hope van Dyne @hvandyne

@moonmoon Tony shall simply have to get used to having something that isn’t Stark technology in the compound. I have a feeling I shall be around more often.

 

Jade Foster @jade_fosterkid

@hvadyne what does that mean

 

IronFam Fan @ironfam5evr

Wait so how many people are in the #ironfam now? Darcy Harley and Peter seem to be the og squad but now there’s @moonmoon and @mbae and maybe @hvandyne ?

 

Hope van Dyne @hvandyne

@jade_fosterkid It means exactly what it says. I have a feeling I may be around the Avengers compound more often.

 

Jade Foster @jade_fosterkid

@hvandyne yeah but why

 

Hope van Dyne @hvandyne

@ironfam5evr I’m not a member of the iron family, no. The other five names are all correct and account for all the human members I’m aware of.

 

IronFam Fan @ironfam5vr

@hvandyne wait there are non human kids in the #ironfam ?????? What are they??? Who are they????

 

Hope van Dyne @hvandyne

@ironfam5vr Tony has three bots in his workshop called Dummy, U, and Butterfingers, as well as his AI, FRIDAY. There’s also Vision, but that’s a slightly more complicated relationship.

 

IronFam Fan @ironfam5vr

Omg imagine having robot siblings

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

wait i have robot siblings???? so cool

 

Jade Foster @jade_fosterkid

@hvandyne why are you going to be at the compound more

 

James @jimbolimbo

Hey @jade_fosterkid idk how much you’ve interacted with the #ironfam and friends but Hope is one of the more private people. I wouldn’t ask too personal questions

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@jade_fosterkid yeah what @jimbolimbo said

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

Actually screw that Darcy just banned me from the lab for three days

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@jade_fosterkid she’s dating Darcy

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@keeneryounot she’s what

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman Love you Dad!

Chapter Text

Harley K @keeneryounot

Day 3 of the siege I’m running low on food that isn’t half-melted chocolate and also water pls send help

 

Jess @smallfishunicorn

@keeneryounot what? are you okay?

 

IronFam Fan @ironfam5vr

@keeneryounot lmao what siege?

 

Peter @parkerpens

@ironfam5vr hes scared of darcy and hope bc he told tony they were dating

 

Mj @mbae

Darcy and Hope have done nothing but Harley doesn’t trust them and refuses to come out of his room

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@mbae I don’t know why he thinks he’s safe in his room. FRIDAY has just as much access there as anywhere else

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sceincewranglerofficial fuck I forgot friday’s on your side

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

I can’t believe I locked myself in my room for 3 days for no reason

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@parkerpens is there any food in the kitchen

 

Peter @parkerpens

yeah But thEres no sparkling WAteR i think fridays ordEring some later

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@parkerpens real subtle, Pete

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@sciencewranglerofficial what?

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@parkerpens oh got it thanks for the warning

 

Peter @parkerpens

@keeneryounot sometimes ur an idiot

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@parkerpens maybeso.gif

 

Mj @mbae

I’ve temporarily blocked Harley to let you guys know that Peter’s on our side. Darcy and Hope haven’t done anything but now Harley’s really paranoid and thinks they have done something

 

Mj @mbae

He just came down to the kitchen with his potato gun and shot CARTER off the counter because the toast popped up and scared him

 

Mj @mbae

He braved opening the fridge, asked FRIDAY what was safe to eat, then started panicking when FRIDAY said nothing’s wrong with the food bc he thinks she’s still on Darcy’s side

 

Mj @mbae

I mean she is but she isn’t lying

 

Abe @notthepresident

wait @mbae you’re still at the compound?

 

Hannah @nahmaamhan

@mbae who’s Carter?

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

friday just told us that harley ordered takeout and darcy intercepted the delivery to put pineapples on the pizza because harley thinks its a crime

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

then she laughed so hard it startled jane and she spilled her coffee so now one of the machines is sparking

 

Abe @notthepresident

I can’t believe I’m missing out on all this why are both of you still at the compound? @mbae @moonmoon

 

Mj @mbae

@nahmaamhan CARTER stands for Cute Appliance Ready to Toast Everything Reliably because Peter has bad role models re: naming

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@mbae take that back or get out of my compound

 

Jade Foster @jade_fosterkid

@moonmoon Harley is wrong pineapples on pizza are the best

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@notthepresident mjs assistant babysitter to miss potts upstairs and im assistant babysitter to darcy in the labs downstairs

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@jade_fosterkid wow you are so unvalid lol pineapples on pizza is Wrong

 

Abe @notthepresident

I can’t believe I know three people who are friends with the avengers how did I miss the opportunity was there an advert

 

Mj @mbae

@notthepresident four people. Also: yes

 

Mj @mbae

@notthepresident

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@moonmoon We’re all about collecting strays you’ve got 280 characters to pitch yourself to join the fam go itsfreerealestate.png

 

Mj @mbae

@notthepresident

Harley K @keeneryounot

@jade_fosterkid Sorry only open to Pete’s decathlon nerd friends

 

Abe @notthepresident

@mbae :sobbingemoji: I can’t believe I missed out

 

Abe @notthepresident

@mbae wait four?

 

Mj @mbae

@notthepresident Ned, who still refuses to get Twitter

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@notthepresident are you a decathlon nerd friend?

 

Abe @notthepresident

@sciencewranglerofficial I’m a decathlon nerd and I think I’m a friend

 

Peter @parkerpens

@notthepresident @sciencewranglerofficial yeah hes gucci

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@notthepresident then the offer’s still open

 

Abe @notthepresident

Frick this is so much pressure

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman @pepperpotts

Abe @notthepresident

Okay here goes @sciencewranglerofficial I know things and Peter likes me. Also can do science and martial arts, both of which seem to be relevant to avengers compound interests

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@notthepresident you’re in I want to know what you know

 

Flash @ethompson

I hate everything

Chapter Text

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

Finally got a baby sister fuck yeah!

 

Pepper Potts @pepperpotts

@sciencewranglerofficial None of that language around Morgan or you’ll have your sister privileges revoked

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@pepperpotts aye aye Captain

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@sciencewranglerofficial what about FRIDAY

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman Friday may be younger than me in actual chronological age but she’s still my older sister

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman also the new baby is tangible

 

Glenjamin @willwillsmithsmith

@sciencewranglerofficial what do you mean FRIDAY’s your older sister if she was born after you?

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@willwillsmithsmith Tony makes her babysit me. Also she’s an all-knowing all-powerful AI time means nothing to her

 

Daily Bugle @bugleofficial

Congratulations @pepperpotts and @iamironman on the birth of their daughter, Morgan Potts-Stark. Stark Industries released a statement this morning announcing the new arrival and asking that the public refrain from asking the parents further questions at this point in time.

 

Peter @parkerpens

ive only had morgan for an hour and a half but if anything happened to her i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

sorry @mynamenotmystomachmuscles you’ve been replaced as favourite baby sister

 

Abs @mynamenotmystomachmuscles

@keeneryounot woah wtf no that’s not fair how come you get a replacement dad and a replacement sister

 

Abs @mynamenotmystomachmuscles

@keeneryounot mom said if you get a replacement mom you’re coming back to tennessee

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@mynamenotherstomachmuscles what if it’s a step-mom? is that allowed? she’s still my real mom

 

Pepper Potts @pepperpotts

@keeneryounot Harley Keener don’t use me to upset your mother

 

Pepper Potts @pepperpotts

@keeneryounot And don’t use Morgan to upset your sister

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@pepperpotts fine

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

abbie deserves it tho

 

Abs @mynamenotmystomachmuscles

@keeneryounot literally wtf have I ever done to you

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@mynamenotmystomachmuscles existed

 

Slyth for lyf @hisshissmotherduckers

Okay so we all know Darcy is HBIC (under Pepper, ofc) but Harley is definitely the most savage #ironfam

 

Abs @mynamenotmystomachmuscles

Hahahahahahaha lmao watch your back Harls

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

why do all my sisters hate me

 

Mj @mbae

If anyone tells you I cried when I saw Morgan they’re lying pls tell me who they are so I can kill them

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@mbae it was you what you gon do

Mj's tweet with words blocked out so it reads 'I cried when I saw Morgan'

 

Mj @mbae

@moonmoon you’re on thin fucking ice

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@mbae i mean i cried too she’s so tiny and small and precious

 

Jess @smallfishunicorn

SI: we’re not gonna talk about the baby

iron fam: lol what

 

IronFam Fan @ironfam5evr

Okay but we got info about two sisters today? Morgan Potts-Stark obviously but then this new Abbie girl Harley mentioned?

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

If anyone fucking touches a hair on abbie’s head I will not be responsible for my actions

 

Abs @mynamenotmystomachmuscles

awwww @keeneryounot you do care!

 

Abs @mynamenotmystomachmuscles

@keeneryounot also mom says if you maim anyone even in my defence you’re grounded

 

Col. Rhodes @ironpatri_not

It’s so nice to see a child of Tony be born without an internal panic attack about whether it will survive until adulthood

 

Col. Rhodes @ironpatri_not

I got that out of the way the first time and he hasn’t killed that one yet

 

James @jimbolimbo

omg is this confirmation that one of the og iron kids is actually Tony’s??? I fucking called it

 

siobhan with a b @theresab

@jimbolimbo who do you think it is? Harley’s got Tony’s sass

 

James @jimbolimbo

@theresab tbf they’ve all got his sass except maybe Peter

 

Hannah @nahmaamhan

@jimbolimbo @theresab yeah but peter goes to that fancy science school and they’ve mentioned him working in the lab – he’s got Tony’s brains

 

siobhan with a b @theresab

@nahmaamhan @jimbolimbo working in the lab with Harley

 

Glenjamin @willwillsmithsmith

@jimbolimbo @theresab @nahmaanhan my moneys on Darcy

 

Glenjamin @willwillsmithsmith

@jimbolimbo @theresab @nahmaanhan the real og

 

Jade Foster @jade_fosterkid

@jimbolimbo honestly finding out only one of them is actually related to him just makes me want to know how the other two got involved

 

Flash @ethompson

@jade_fosterkid big fucking same

 

Mj @mbae

@ethompson don’t be bitter be better :kissemoji:

 

Abe @notthepresident

wait @mbae did you really cry?

 

Mj @mbae

@moonmoon I’m going to kill you

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@mbae not if i kill myself first

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

Should I be concerned? @mbae @moonmoon

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@iamironman to quote my second youngest sibling: sometimes the internet just b like That

Chapter Text

Harley K @keeneryounot

Lol cap just tried to lecture peter about something and I think peter’s soul left his body his eye were just dead and blank the whole time

 

Peter @parkerpens

listen steve can fight me he did worse when he weighed approximately as much as morgan

 

Peter @parkerpens

also ive had to suffer his dumb psas far too many times he can’t hurt me anymore

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@parkerpens Sorry his what now?

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@iamironman you know the educational captain America educational PSA videos they show in every lesson when the teacher can’t be bothered they’ve been doing it for years

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@iamironman they’re called learning with cap or something else stupid and ridiculous

 

Jade Foster @jade_fosterkid

@iamironman @parkerpens @keeneryounot omg are you talking about Rappin' with Cap

 

Peter @parkerpens

@jade_fosterkid yeah that

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@jade_fosterkid @parkerpens wow that’s even worse than learning with cap. When did they start doing these? I never had them

 

Peter @parkerpens

@sciencewranglerofficial after new york i think

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

@parkerpens lol remember before the accords or whatever got sorted and coach was like ‘yeah pretty sure he’s a war criminal now but state says I gotta play this’

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

Soz I got distracted but here @iamionman and @sciencewranglerofficial for your amusement https://vimeo.com/148751763

 

Pepper Potts @pepperpotts

@sciencewranglerofficial why does Tony look so gleeful this is never a good sign for someone

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@pepperpotts woah hey this isn’t even my fault why did you @ me

 

Pepper Potts @pepperpotts

@sciencewranglerofficial because you usually know the answer to this question

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@pepperpotts okay that’s valid

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@pepperpotts he just found out about Cap’s PSA series

 

Pepper Potts @pepperpotts

@sciencewranglerofficial Cap’s PSA series?

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@pepperpotts

Harley K @keeneryounot

Soz I got distracted but here @iamionman and @sciencewranglerofficial for your amusement https://vimeo.com/148751763

 

Glenjamin @willwillsmithsmith

The #ironfam dishing the dirt as usual

 

Slyth for lyf @hisshissmotherduckers

@willwillsmithsmith wait I haven’t caught up who’s the victim today

 

Glenjamin @willwillsmithsmith

@hisshissmotherduckers Captain America

 

Peter @parkerpens

tbf im surprised i didnt get a worse lecture bc we were Not Ready for cap to find *that* out

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@parkerpens I think wolf boy short circuited. the pigeon wasn’t happy about it either

 

Peter @parkerpens

@keeneryounot theyre just sore losers

 

Sam @s.wilson

@parkerpens Bucky says spider or no spider he’s going to find a way to get revenge

 

IronFam Fan @ironfam5evr

wolf boy?? pigeon?? spider?

 

Hannah @nahmaamhan

@ironfam5evr okay so they’ve spoken to Hawkeye before and he’s not pigeon which means it has to be The Falcon who I think is @s.wilson

 

Hannah @nahmaamhan

and then Falcon mentioned Bucky who must be Sgt. Barnes who goes by White Wolf now right? but idk what he means by spider or no spider

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@nahmaamhan Bucky is scared of spiders pass it on

 

Hannah @nahmaamhan

@sciencewranglerofficial that is the best thing

 

Hannah @nahmaamhan

#buckysscaredofspiders

 

IronFam Fan @ironfam5evr

#buckysscaredofspiders

 

Glenjamin @willwillsmithsmith

#buckysscaredofspiders

 

siobhan with a b @theresab

#buckysscaredofspiders

 

James @jimbolimbo

#buckysscaredofspiders

 

Jade Foster @jade_fosterkid

#buckysscaredofspiders

 

Slyth for lyf @hisshissmotherduckers

#buckysscaredofspiders

 

cindylou who @moonmoon

#buckysscaredofspiders

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

#buckysscaredofspiders

 

Peter @parkerpens

#buckysscaredofspiders

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

#buckysscaredofspiders

 

Sam @s.wilson

I wasn’t down with this and then I saw how pissed it’s making Bucky reading over Clint’s shoulder so I’m in #buckysscaredofspiders

 

Pepper Potts @pepperpotts

@s.wilson Sam.

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

oooooohhhhhh Sam’s in trouble

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

but also he deserves it bc he did a bad thing so I feel like you should know not only  #buckysscaredofspiders but also #samsscaredofspiders

 

Jess @smallfishunicorn

Darcy spilling everyone’s secrets today #buckysscaredofspiders #samsscaredofspiders

 

Lady Darcy @sciencewranglerofficial

@smallfishunicorn excpet the important ones bc I can keep my mouth shut about them unlike some people

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

Okay as fun as this callout has been ( #samsscaredofspiders ) we also haven’t finished calling out the Iced Americano so can all the avengers currently lurking on here please reconvene to the movie room immediately for an omnibus viewing of Rappin’ with Cap

 

Hawt Guy @theamazinghawkeye

@iamironman me and the arachnophobes will be there as soon as Sam’s finished getting chewed out by Pepper

 

NR @nadiareed

@iamironman @drbruce and I are on our way

 

Col. Rhodes @ironpatri_not

@iamironman I’ll collect Steve on my way up

 

Hope van Dyne @hvandyne

@iamironman I’m by the labs so I can grab Thor and @astrophysicat

 

You Know My Name @iamironman

@hvandyne who invited you, interloper?

 

Hope van Dyne @hvandyne

@iamironman Your daughter.

 

Mj @mbae

@iamironman and your son invited the rest of us hangers on so me and @moonmoon and @notthepresident will see you in five

 

Abs @mynamenotmystomachmuscles

@iamironman and your wife invited me. see you soon @keeneryounot

 

Harley K @keeneryounot

@mynamenotmystomachmuscles @pepperpotts wtf

 

Glenjamin @willwillsmithsmith

damn for a second there I thought we had confirmation I was right but now I’ve got no idea

 

IronFam Fan @ironfam5evr

Well that was A Lot to unpack