Billy wasn’t sure how it happened. How this person had weaseled his way into his life. How his entire routine had been disrupted. How nothing he used to care about mattered. How he didn’t even care. How he was actually happy.
It happened randomly. It was one big fucking cliché, which seems to amuse his new partner to no end. It was in a coffee shop, Billy was trying to think of a reason to avoid going to a meeting with Rawlins while waiting for his drink to be made. He still had nothing as he was handed his coffee, smiling to the barista as he left. He hadn’t been on the sidewalk ten seconds before someone rams into his side, sloshing his drink out of his cup and onto his shirt. While he was mildly happy that he now had an excuse to at least be late, he was still furious at the intrusion of personal space and the time he now has to waste. His anger stutters as he hears the other talk.
“Oh my god I’m so sorry! I wasn’t look- oh shit you’re hot.” Finally looking at the other, he’s met with disgustingly happy and concerned eyes and messy blonde hair wrapped up in an average package a few inches shorter than himself. Billy isn’t used to people acknowledging his appearance out loud in public spaces outside of bars, so he decides to see what happens, anything to keep him from Rawlins. He continues to watch the other with a vaguely stunned expression, waiting to see his next move. Billy never expected to be asked on a date after another man spilled coffee on him, and he certainly never expected to say yes.
At first, he will admit, the shallow part of his brain was unimpressed. Billy knew what he looked like, knew what people thought of his body. He never expected to be with someone so… normal. Someone who was used to people calling him Foggy, of all things.. And yet, after a month or two, Foggy Nelson had changed his perception. Suddenly Billy found himself loving his stupid smile, how it even managed to reach his ridiculously expressive eyes. How when he shoved Foggy onto the bed to ride him, he didn’t get aggressive. He just looked up at Billy with a sweet smile before pushing himself up to meet him in a kiss. How he was never rough with him, his caution of hurting Billy nearly driving him mad some nights until he’s growling for him to just hurry the fuck up. That only manages to prompt Foggy to tease him relentlessly, pulling out of the other to use his fingers to bring Billy to the brink of orgasm again and again before stopping, just to do it all over again until Billy was a sobbing mess.
What he loved the most, though, about Foggy fucking Nelson, was his seeming inability to judge him for anything. If Billy woke sobbing from a nightmare, he wouldn’t scoff and push him out, he would pull him closer and hold him until he was back to sleep. If Billy came back from work silent and jumpy, he wouldn’t press for information, he would make him fucking hot chocolate and put a random movie on. Once, in a moment of weakness, Billy let slip he sometimes got lonely living by himself, the next thing he knew Foggy was moving them into a new, larger apartment so the both of them could stay together.
He knew he was in love with Foggy about two months into living together. Billy had left for work for a week, positive when he returned, beaten and bruised, that he had taken innocent lives.. Positive that Rawlins had lied to him about it. He stood in front of their apartment door for a good five minutes before he finally pulled himself together and opened it. Immediately, he was pulled into Foggy's arms, face tugged down for a kiss.
“Missed you, babe.” He sounded so sincere, so honest in his words that Billy could feel his eyes start burning. A small part of himself screaming that it’s a lie, he’s tricking you. Don’t be weak. He didn’t listen though. Instead, he burrowed his face into Foggy's neck, relaxing as he felt he others hands run soothingly over his back. The serene moment was ruined by the ring of his cell, vibrating to life in his coat pocket. He pulled out of Foggy's embrace, smiling at him as he fished his phone from his pocket. His smile fell when he saw the message Rawlins had sent him.
It was those two words that broke him. The tears finally coming with a snarl as he hurled his phone at the far wall of the room. He stared at the broken glass on the floor in panic, sure that Foggy would see that he’s broken, that Foggy would leave him alone. Like everyone else. He flinched when he felt a soft hand on his shoulder, gently turning him to face the other. His eyes clenched, not wanting to see the look of disgust on the others face. The soft hand on his cheek made them tear open, a thumb brushing the wetness from beneath one of them.
“Hey, you okay?” He snapped. He couldn’t do it anymore. Couldn’t pretend he was worth this persons time. He let out a wet chuckle.
“I kill people Foggy.” He was caught off guard by the look of confusion, having expected revulsion. He closed his eyes again and leant into the hand on his face, wanting to enjoy the warmth while he still could.
“I’m not an idiot. I know you’re in some, like, super secret military… stuff…” Billy couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him at the stumbling, vague words. Foggy had no idea. “It’s bad people though. You do good thin-“
“No. He just sent… he had me… they were just people and he lied and I’m doing bad things, Fog.” Billy felt a panic attack coming on. Ever since Foggy, Billy didn’t want to do bad things anymore. He wanted to be good, like Foggy deserved. “Don’t want to do this anymore” his words were strained as his throat tightened, fighting off the hysteria he knew was coming. The pause Foggy left between them didn’t help, and he was about to resign himself to life alone when the other spoke.
“Then we fix this. Babe, tomorrow we can talk and look through your contract, see what we can do. Not to brag, but I’m pretty amazing at my job. You know, number one avocado at law here.” The goofy grin on his face and the words made Billy melt. He couldn’t believe he had someone like this. He pulled the shorter man as close as he could. When they broke away from each other, the silence was comfortable, reassuring, almost. That was when it hit him.
“I love you…” Billy panicked after the words left his mouth but Foggy looked elated.
I love you too, babe.”
Was Billy ashamed to admit that he ended up killing Rawlins in his home because he threatened to go after Foggy when he said he was quitting? Not particularly. Especially not when he can home to Foggy pressing him into the wall to kiss him senseless. He made the right choice.