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Evil and Irritation

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Ezreal fired off an energy shot that formed a golden blade, the projectile whizzed through the air only to break itself upon Blitzcrank’s mana shield. The shimmering blue barely even wavered under the assault.

In retaliation the bottle boss braced itself upon its wheel and launched its chain grab, Ezreal attempted to blink himself to safety, but his reaction was too slow. With a yelp he was dragged to the golem. Sona tried frantically to send off a wave of healing energy but it failed to reach Ezreal before Blitzcrank, with a shockwave of purple lightning, reduced his hitpoints to 0.

The would be hero froze in place before blinking rapidly and disappearing, before reappearing at the side of his comrades with a blip.

“Hahahahaha! Fools, you’re all out of spare lives now. My guardian will make short work of you, AND KILL YOU TO DEATH!” Veigar cackled maniacally as he watched the proceedings through his all-seeing sceptre.

Miss Fortune rained pixilated bullets upon the golem and his mana shield wavered under the assault, flickering as Ezreal renewed his energy blasts to add to the assault.

With a furious whirring Blitzcrank prepared to charge, vivid orange flames, spurted from its back, and its fist glowed with a violet light. The so called ‘heroes’ braced themselves grimly for the construct’s charge.

Veigar watched on gleefully, almost hopping on the spot, with the force of his guardian’s charge the wretched annoyances would be cast into the emerald flames that filled the moat around his Dark Citadel of Supremely Evil Darkness. After all, stuck battling on his drawbridge, there was nowhere to dodge.

Veigar leaned forward as Blitzcrank’s charge neared his foes, in moments, Veigar’s dominance of Arcade Land would be secured.

With a flash of emerald light the Final Boss’ hopes were dashed. Riven had prepared for Blitzcrank’s attack with one of her own. In a series of three swift jumps she brought her glowing blade down upon the golem’s chassis as she plummeted.

Blitzcrank paused and wavered before a series of pixilated explosions covered its frame. The Battle boss then toppled back and was no more, disappearing in a puff of smoke, and a shower of gold and exp.

“BLAST YOUR ACCURSED TRIPLE JUMP MOVE!” Veigar shrieked shrilly as he threw his sceptre to the ground. His howls of frustration echoed off the vaulted, black ceiling of his throne room.

“What’s the use of a grossly overpowered guard-golem if it can’t defeat one meddlesome band of twerps!?” The boss shouted as he hopped up and down in fury.

“Oh I dunno, some people say he’s overpowered but I think they just need to get good.” A cheerful voice chirped.

Veigar whirled to face whatever fool thought they could invade his throne room, his annoyance swirling about him in smoky red pixels.

There was a girl who looked strangely out of place in the ominous emerald torchlight of Veigar’s throne room. She was obnoxiously colourful in Veigar’s opinion, bright orange hair sprouted floated about her, turning green-blue half way down her back. She had large square glasses and some sort of strange ear-armour that Veigar could not quite place, a baggy black coat covered her green and orange dress.

“You! How did you get in here!?” Veigar bellowed, calling his staff to himself and pointing it at the intruder.

The girl for her part seemed wholly unconcerned, playing with a strange toy that she bounced up and down as she skipped around the room.

“Oh you know, just sliced through a few layers of inscription, hacked some good VR software, hopped through some servers, and poof! Here I am. Also, sparkles.” With this the girl threw out a handful of glittering dust, coating the black stone beneath her in gaudy glitter.

Veigar didn’t quite understand the intruder’s train of thought, but he nevertheless knew how to deal with those who thought they could enter his domain without his permission.

“You will regret having ‘hopped’ in he-“

“Oh wow, is that a Gauntlet of Might?” The girl squealed before creating a portal beneath herself only to pop up in front of Veigar, snatch his gauntlet and retreat back to the other side of the room.

“What!? Return that at once, or I will send you screaming to a dimension of infinite pain!” Veigar threatened, charging up his sceptre with his one remaining hand.

“Wowies, it IS a Gauntlet of Might, I love these things. They’re so bad!” The girl cheered, ignoring Veigar’s words and instead fiddling with the buttons on his gauntlet. With a ‘plink’ sound Veigar’s own robes turned an audacious shade of hot pink, causing the intruder to burst into a snorting laughing fit. “OMG! That Chroma pack looks ridiculous on you!”

Losing what little patience he had Veigar shot an arcane blast at the annoying girl, who once again jumped into a portal, exiting another right before the Final Boss and dumping his gauntlet on the floor in front of him.

“Geez, fine, take it back. Ya big baby.” The girl taunted, sticking out her tongue.

Veigar scrambled to reattach his gauntlet to his phantom arm, and shook off the glitter still clinging to it. Quickly using the gauntlet to readjust himself to his default palette.

“Have you any idea who you are dealing with!?” He glared at the annoying girl who had begun blowing a bright pink bubble from her mouth.

She looked pensive for a moment, pursing her lips.
“Veigar, originally a mid-boss of Magus’ Ascension, you overthrew your own final boss and took over. You used that ancient piece of hacking tech” She indicated his gauntlet “To gather bosses from a buncha games to have them serve you. You have 2000HP, can only be hit after every fourth attack, and when you split into three the one on the right is always the real you.” The girl rattled off.

Veigar was astounded, this annoying intruder had somehow deduced his history, his weaknesses, his very strategy for victory!

“Who are you? Where did you learn all this?” He asked warily, disconcerted by her knowledge.

“Oh, I’m Zoe, and I learned that stuff from Evil-Lord Wiki, just a fun bit of side research I did whilst bringing down some government firewalls.” She replied cheerily.

“I see… this so called ‘Evil-Lord’ Wiki knows far too much, I will find him and annihilate him! But first… I must deal with you.” Veigar stroked his sceptre threateningly, as he advanced on Zoe who was flippantly playing with a glowing object hanging from her neck.

“Oh yeah? Watcha gonna do?” Zoe asked, tilting her head.

Veigar just cackled as he funnelled all his arcane might through his sceptre, its vibrant green eye squinted under the strain, through the powers of his gauntlet he broke the limits of damage cap, charging it even further. As he felt his sceptre reach its absolute threshold he finally unleashed his attack.

“Delete!” Veigar shouted. His primordial burst ripped at the fabric of reality so much that it could not even be properly rendered, it appeared as a cube of black and green code which soared through the air towards Zoe.

The world lagged and froze for a moment with a flash of white as it processed Veigar’s attack. The master of evil felt extremely satisfied that his annoyance would be no more.

“Wow, so that was ‘Primordial Burst’ huh? It always seemed more intimidating in the game, oh well.” Zoe observed as the lag of the impact cleared.

Veigar himself froze in shock at seeing Zoe had remained completely unscathed, the infuriating girl had seemed to have not even noticed his attack, and was now dancing on the spot as she hummed to herself.

“Impossible, the power of Veigar is limitless!” He was dumbfounded, none had been able to ever stand before his attack before.

“Oh yeah, it’s pretty big I guess. But I used an invincibility hack, so I’m fine. Lols.”

“An ‘Invincibility hack’, what does that even mean!? who are you ‘Zoe’? some spy for those fool heroes who would dare challenge me? An ally of this Lord Wiki sent to depose me? An idiot girl with her own visions of heroism? It matters not, I, Veigar, once killed a hundred bosses single handedly, to me you are little more than an insect.” He pontificated, his voice high and threatening.

Zoe looked at him confused for a second before removing her strange ear armour. “What? I didn’t get that, I was just listening to the new Pentakill track. I don’t normally like metal, it’s not boppy enough, but they’re alright.”

Her infuriating cheeriness just caused Veigar’s temper to grow even darker, he shook with rage as he stared down the girl who just blinked at him curiously.

“Want a lollypop?” She offered him a shiny bag containing the brightly coloured confectionary.

“NO I DO NOT WANT A LOLLYPOP! I WANT YOU TO PERISH! But if your accursed ‘Invincibility Hack’ won’t let me dispose of you… THEN I WILL IMPRISON YOU TO ROT!” Veigar slammed his staff upon the ground as he stamped his foot, causing a clang to echo through the throne room.

“Your fatal prison awaits. Event Horizon!” He shrieked, channelling his power into his unbreakable prison. Pillars fashioned after giant claws burst through the ground encircling Zoe and trapping her in a prison of baleful energy.

“Oh no, you got me, I am totally trapped now.” She gasped, hands clapped to her cheeks and mouth hanging open wide in exaggerated shock.

Veigar preened mentally, not even a being with as much power as girl seemed to have stood a chance at escaping his perfect prison. A true final boss as powerful as him could never be outdone by some foolish little girl.

The sound of several feet pounding up the stairway drew Veigar’s attention away from Zoe as Miss Fortune, Ezreal, Sona and Riven entered into his throne room, looking weary yet determined. His victory would be complete as soon as he rid himself of these annoying pests.

“Heroes! Welcome to die!” He called across the throne room towards his foes.

“It’s over Veigar. We defeated all your battle bosses and next we’ll take you down, and save Arcade Land” Riven declared as she readied her blade.

“Time to turn you in for a whole lotta credits.” Miss Fortune crooned in agreement.

“And save Princess Zowen.” Ezreal agreed, causing Veigar to pause for a moment.

“What do you speak of idiot boy? I have no need for a princess, perhaps one of my battle bosses stored one in another castle, but that is no concern of mine.”

“Princess Zowen, we were told by the rainbow centaur, ya know, Hecarim, that you’d kidnapped her.” Ezreal shot back.

“That centaur clearly has a horse brain. I have kidnapped no-“

“Oh, my sweet Ezreal, please save me!” Zoe cried.

Veigar whirled angrily towards Zoe to silence her. Yet what he saw was not quite the same annoying girl as before.

Her hair had been styled into an elaborate up-do and her strange coat and skirt had been replaced with a soft pink dress sporting a preposterous amount of ruffles and frills, her hands were covered ivory silk gloves and even her glasses had changed to elegant golden frames.

“My dear hero, please free me from the horrible monster.” She pleaded towards the heroes, before blowing Ezreal a kiss.

“Don’t worry princess, we’ll get you out of there.” He called, giving her a wink.

Veigar screamed in annoyance at the whole display of ridiculousness before turning back towards the heroes, and levelling his sceptre at them.

“It matters not what infuriating princess you send to distract me! Evil always finds a way, a way to destroy do-gooders like you!”

Veigar channelled all his power as he prepared for the final battle. If his foes entertained him enough they might even get to see his final form.