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129: can’t sleep… (๑ᵕ⌓ᵕ̤)

Izuku didn’t expect a response to that.

He’d gotten some sleep, granted, but it had been fleeting- he’d woken up just a couple of hours later. His head still pounded from all the crying he’d done, and every time he thought of what had happened, a pit formed inside of him.

Every time he tried to drift off again, he’d think of Kacchan, and then be too upset to fall asleep all over again.

Izuku had almost lost the person he’d known for the longest. He’d managed to save him, but even that was little comfort.

This time, that little voice inside him reminded him. You saved him this time.

Kacchan hadn’t even understood why Izuku was upset. He was about to die, and he hadn’t understood why someone would be upset. Was he really that far gone, all this time? Or was he just so used to the concept of near-death that it was unfathomable that anyone would care so much about something so commonplace?

Don’t think about it…

Izuku, on instinct, had planned to play Animal Crossing to calm himself down, but all he did was grab his DS before re-considering.

It would feel wrong without Kacchan there.

So, he’d ended up jotting down Kacchan notes in his notebook. It wasn’t his Hero Analysis one, it was a completely separate one; a blank one he had lying around, the same one he spent an hour writing down insults in.

Why did it feel like that was so long ago?

- Kacchan likes it when I flirt with him!

- THOSE kinds of jokes are kind of risky though!

- He likes when I make him kaomoji!

- He also likes compliments, but he might think I’m just flattering him if I put too much emphasis on it!

- Kacchan thinks it’s cute when I get flustered…?

The thought made Izuku blush- and blush harder when he realized that Kacchan would find him cute in that moment.

His heart fluttered in his chest- could he really, truly have a chance at wooing Kacchan? Had he already done it?

Would his success matter once Kacchan found out who he was…?

Hopefully their friendship hadn’t meant nothing to Kacchan. But Kacchan and Izuku’s relationship outside of this secrecy was… Izuku had no idea how to describe it.

Wrought with misunderstanding?

Kacchan thought Izuku looked down on him. All these years, and for some reason, he’d been so dreadfully wrong about Izuku’s motives. He must’ve thought Izuku really was patronizing him all that time. No wonder why he was so angry at me, Izuku thought. Why he didn’t want me going to UA… he must’ve thought I was mocking him…

But there was nothing Izuku could do about this, nothing Izuku himself could say to Kacchan’s face to show him that he had never, in his life, ever looked down on him. And never would.

They had to talk. And Kacchan needed to be the one to instigate that talk.

If Kacchan found out who Izuku was before then, it could very easily spell disaster. It also could very easily go well, but after last night, Izuku was not prepared to take that chance.

If it ended in disaster, Izuku wouldn’t be able to save Kacchan. Kacchan wouldn’t listen to him, and then he would…

He would…

...and it would be Izuku’s fault.

No. He had to wait. Best to avoid catastrophe.

He’d wait until Kacchan sought him out, and they’d talked, finally laying any misunderstandings to rest. And then, he’d wait a little more. A talk like that would be stressful for Kacchan. No need stressing him out even more so soon with this realization.

A few days should do it.

Ping!

Izuku’s heart leapt into his throat at the noise, squinting at the light now emanating from his phone. He picked it up and read the new message.

Tsuki-chan: that makes two of us.

Kacchan couldn’t sleep, either? Was he more shaken up about last night than he’d let on?

Izuku felt a pang of guilt at the flutter of happiness he’d felt- of course, he’d hate for his Kacchan to be upset, but he had to admit, it felt nice to have company.

Felt nice to have Kacchan.

129: im soooo tired….. (∪。∪)。。。zzz

129: how about you?

Tsuki-chan: restless.

Tsuki-chan: it fucking sucks.

129: do you wanna talk about it…?

Tsuki-chan: no. its.

Tsuki-chan: you’d figure out who i was

Tsuki-chan: it’s fine though. i can handle it

129: a nightmare…?

Tsuki-chan:

Tsuki-chan: mm.

Tsuki-chan: i want to tell you about it. but i can’t.

Izuku was about ready to admit it right then and there, just to get Kacchan to talk to him. What could be upsetting Kacchan so badly? Was it the incident with the sludge villain? USJ? Something else?

Don’t worry about your identity, Kacchan! He wanted to scream. Please, just talk to me!

But he didn’t.

He couldn’t.

129: i get it…

129: how’s your leg?

Tsuki-chan: sore as shit.

Tsuki-chan: that’s normal though.

Tsuki-chan: nothing to worry about.

129: ok…

Tsuki-chan: by the way

Tsuki-chan: what are YOU doing up?

Tsuki-chan: i forgot to ask.

129:

129: just… last night shook me up a lot…

129: you almost died, tsuki-chan…

Tsuki-chan: but i didn’t.

Tsuki-chan: because of you.

129: yeah…

Tsuki-chan: just keep thinking.

Tsuki-chan: i could’ve died. but i didn’t.

Tsuki-chan: lots of things could happen. i’m still here. focus on that instead of almosts.

129: it’s not that…

Tsuki-chan: ?

129: i just…

129: what if it happens again?

129: what if i can’t stop you next time?

129: i almost couldn’t this time…

129: i don’t know if i can do it again

129: i dont want to lose you and i dont want this to happen again

129: i dont know how many times you almost die but you seem so casual about it, it freaks me out

129: you didnt understand why i was upset

129: i dont want you to die…

Izuku wiped away fresh tears, taking deep breaths to steady himself and keep himself composed to the best of his ability.

No use breaking down all over again when nothing was even happening.

Tsuki-chan: ichi. listen.

Tsuki-chan: this isn’t your problem

Tsuki-chan: that. came out wrong.

Tsuki-chan: fuck.

Tsuki-chan: i really want to promise you that i wont ever do it again

Tsuki-chan: i fucking hate seeing you upset and i fucking hate that I’M the one that made you upset

Tsuki-chan: but i can’t promise shit.

Tsuki-chan: i can’t fucking control myself thats how god damn weak i am

Tsuki-chan: i want to tell you ‘i promise i’ll never fucking do it again’ and mean it.

Tsuki-chan: but i can’t.

129: youre not weak

129: can you at least promise me that youll talk to someone if you ever start feeling bad…?

129: it doesnt have to be me

129: anyone. please.

129: someone…

Tsuki-chan: i’m not gonna promise shit i dont know if i can do.

129: then promise me you’ll at least try!!

129: even if you cant do it you can at least TRY, right?

129: you’re talking to me right now! you’re being honest!

129: so you cant say you cant try!!

129: and there’s no reason for you to say you can’t!

129: or shouldnt.

Izuku took shaky breaths as he waited for Kacchan’s answer. Was it wrong to push him like this? Was it wrong to demand things from him?

Maybe. But he’d almost died. A little force was necessary for Izuku to assure that his childhood friend wouldn’t die.

Tsuki-chan: ok.

Tsuki-chan: that i can promise.

129: thank you, tsuki-chan (⺣◡⺣)♡*

Tsuki-chan: it’s nothing i can’t fucking do.

Tsuki-chan: wanna play acnl? get our minds off this shit.

Tsuki-chan: we can do whatever you want.

129: !! i’d love to, tsuki-chan~!

129: my town or yours?

Tsuki-chan: whichever you want.

129: can it be my town? it’s more open!

129: we can go bug hunting?

129: i kind of… want to get more stuff for my museum

Tsuki-chan: sure.

129: by the way, what’s your museum like?

Tsuki-chan: it’s been complete for a while.

129: really??

Tsuki-chan: yeah.

Tsuki-chan: it’s what happens when you’re fucking glued to this game for years.

129: wow!! you’re so dedicated!

129: i kind of want to see your museum now…!

Tsuki-chan: we can see it later.

Tsuki-chan: let’s go to ureshi first.

129: ok!!

xxxxx

Tsuki-chan: worry not ichi.

Tsuki-chan: why not?

Tsuki-chan: because im here.

129: !! my hero~! ⊂(♡⌂♡)⊃

A soft smile spread on Katsuki’s face at that, warmth beginning to radiate from his chest.

He was Ichi’s hero.

It had just been a joke, but…

Katsuki thought of one day, actually being Ichi’s hero. Saving him from something, anything that dared hurt him, and seeing Ichi’s eyes sparkle and hearing him excitedly chatter on about how amazing Katsuki was, and how much he likes him, how much he loves him, how lucky he is to know Katsuki.

But nobody was lucky to know Katsuki.

Nobody would be lucky to know Katsuki, ever.

No. No. Don’t fucking think like that.

Ichi would cuss you out if he heard you thinking shit like that.

Nobody was lucky to know Katsuki now. But maybe in the future, he could make something of himself. Something that wasn’t pathetic, something that was to be admired.

Better.

Tsuki-chan: i sure am your hero haha

Tsuki-chan: your town is nice at night.

129: !! thank you!

Tsuki-chan: yeah you cant see how badly everything is placed

129: HEY!!!! you did most of that placing, yknow!!

Tsuki-chan: and?

129: tsuki-chaaaaan!!!!!

129: (。•́︿•̀。)

Tsuki-chan: ok ok ok ill stop just never make that face again

129: awww, tsuki-chan cares!!

Tsuki-chan: shut up and get me a bug you f ck.

129: im a what now~?

129: aww tsuki, im so flattered you think im a f ck!

129: that means you’d do it, yknow~

Tsuki-chan: I HATE YOU GO CATCH A BUG OR SMTH

129: ok!

129: you gotta be quiet though! so you don’t scare them off!

129: so walk slowly!

Tsuki-chan: don’t tell me what to do.

He did it anyway, though.

Making sure he walked and not ran, he followed behind Ichi, watching him sneak around.

This brought back memories in an odd, roundabout way. Memories of him and Deku as children, trekking through the forest with nets and terrariums, Katsuki bragging that he was better at catching bugs and that he’d catch the most bugs; Deku remaining unfazed, looking at him with that fucking smile and saying that Kacchan would need someone to carry the bugs so his hands would be free to get more bugs, yeah?

It was a comfortable routine. Katsuki would catch, Deku would help him get them into the terrarium, which Deku in turn carried for Katsuki. He hated to admit it, but Deku’s help was vital for any bug after the first one- they’d needed two sets of hands to keep all the other ones from crawling out, after all.

They’d fit together nicely, back then.

Katsuki wondered if they’d fit together nicely in the present, too.

Of course not.

You fucking ruined it.

He could try and fix it, though.

As if you could fix everything that happened with a single apology.

You just need to fucking live with the fact that you’re never gonna get that back.

It’s not like Katsuki was friendless.

He had other friends- some came and went, but there was that one other loyal motherfucker that stuck by him since childhood- since before he got his quirk, since before any of them got their quirks. Except the wings fucker, he was born with those; lucky bastard.

Even so, it wasn’t the same as what Katsuki had with Deku.

He was a good friend- but he wasn’t Deku. He didn’t perfectly compliment Katsuki like Deku did.

He wasn’t Katsuki’s first friend.

It was all because shitty Deku had gotten it in his head that he was better than Katsuki, and decided to rub it in by “complimenting” him at every given opportunity.

By being Katsuki better than Katsuki was Katsuki.

Deku was earnest, he was strong- actually strong; he’d faced off a villain while quirkless, and what had Katsuki done? He’d made everything worse.

Deku was perceptive, Deku was smart, and Deku knew Katsuki all his life, could pick up on little changes in character better than anyone else.

It wasn’t out of the question to come to the conclusion that Deku knew just how weak he was behind the scenes.

How weak he pretended not to be.

So weak it almost killed him.

He must be doing this to rub it in Katsuki’s face- you call me weak but I know the truth! YOU’RE the weak one, and I’ll prove it to everyone by being better than you, at the things that specifically you do.

It’s what you deserve.

And it was.

But- there was another feeling, a small one but one that had burrowed itself in Katsuki’s heart and made its home there, unable to be persuaded or badgered or forced out.

Maybe. Maybe Ichi was right, somehow.

Maybe Deku was copying him out of admiration.

Maybe Deku didn’t pity him, or look down on him.

Hell, maybe Deku didn’t even know about Katsuki’s all-encompassing weakness.

That would be nice.

It could be the truth.

Fuck you. No it’s not.

You don’t know that for sure.

And YOU don’t know it’s NOT true for sure.

Deku would’ve said something if he knew.

He’s a heroic little shit, he’d try to save him.

Not you. You don’t deserve to be saved.

He doesn’t fucking care about you.

Deku cried when Katsuki was injured; had rushed over to his bed, held his hand and cried, like seeing Katsuki there and injured sparked a deep, personal, intrinsic sadness inside of him that he could not keep contained.

And Katsuki couldn’t explain it.

If he were to be correct, this would make no sense.

So I’m wrong.

He could still give a shit about me for some reason.

Katsuki would have to ask him, whenever he gathered the nerve to go and fucking apologize to him.

Go and talk things out with him.

He needed to make sure his apology was perfect- he couldn’t just go up to Deku and go “yeah remember that shit? Sorry. Ok that’s it.”

Deku deserved much, much more than that, after what Katsuki did to him.

And Katsuki was going to give him what he deserved if it was the last thing he ever did.

129: i caught one!

129: wait, where’d you go?

Katsuki hadn’t even noticed that Ichi had gotten away from him. The last thing he wanted to do was worry him- saying ‘oh i was just thinking’ would probably make the guy assume the worst, especially after… last night.

Tsuki-chan: come and find me, nerd.

He quickly scurried off into the opposite direction, hiding behind a tree.

129: tsuki-chaaaan!!!

Katsuki had to hold back laughter as Ichi ran right past him, not even slowing down or sparing the tree a second glance.

He got an idea.

Katsuki took his shovel out of his pockets, the tip of it poking out behind the tree. He’d never gotten to try this out in all the years he’d spent playing Animal Crossing, but he had a feeling that tonight was the perfect night to see what would happen.

129: tsuukiiiii

Tsuki-chan: haha. you ran right past me earlier.

129: WHAAT

129: TSUKI!!!!!

Tsuki-chan: hahahahahaha

He waited- and then he heard it; the sound of footsteps getting closer and closer to him. His finger hovered over the button as Ichi got closer and closer to him. He came to a stop right next to Katsuki, sending a message that had to have been pre-prepared, judging by the speed which he sent it.

129: found you!!

Katsuki didn’t hesitate- he jammed his finger on the button and-

-poked Ichi with his shovel.

Ichi’s avatar looked shocked and wobbled for a second. Guess that worked, then, Katsuki mused to himself.

129: hey!!!!

Katsuki immediately took off running as he saw Ichi take his shovel out as well, running after him.

129: GET BACK HERE

129: AND FACE YOUR PUNISHMENT!!!

Tsuki-chan: YOULL HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST

129: MAYBE I WILL!!!!

Katsuki barely knew Ursehi’s layout- he was at a disadvantage here. The wide open spaces made him easily visible to Ichi, as well.

He needed to gain the upper hand.

He rushed into the train station and spammed the buttons as fast as he could, to get back to Satsu before Ichi could stop him.

His phone pinged- and Katsuki smirked.

129: COWAAAARD!!!

Tsuki-chan: coward? or strategist?

129: COWARDCOWARDCOWARDCOWARDCOWARDCOWARDCOWARD

Tsuki-chan: SHUT YOUR FUCK IM OPENING MY GATE

Tsuki-chan: LETS SEE WHO’S THE COWARD IN MY LABYRINTH, YOU SHIT!!

Katsuki shook with silent laughs as the second after he opened his gate, a notification popped up that someone was arriving.

He hadn’t even left the train station yet- Ichi would pop up outside of the station, and Katsuki would have to get past him in order to leave.

He typed a message.

Tsuki-chan: hahaha too slow!

129: ggghhhhhhhhh

129: ILL FIND YOU!!

129: theres only one direction you could have gone!!

Katsuki waited with bated breath. Had Ichi really taken the bait?

129: where are yoouuuu!!

Seems like it. He stepped out of the train station, and the moment his town loaded-

-he was smacked with a shovel, Ichi running away before he could chase after him.

129: sorry, tsuki-chan!

129: but you’re not the only one with strategy!!

Katsuki grinned, heart beating in his chest.

That motherfucker!

This kind of shit is a good look for him.

Katsuki couldn’t describe how that made him feel- for Ichi, it was surely just a way for him to gain the upper hand in a stupid little game they’d decided to play. But there was something about it that made Katsuki want to grab Ichi and kiss his scheming little nerd face over and over.

If Katsuki were to be honest, that was his default attitude when it came to Ichi. All he wanted was the other with him, for the other to be his, like he was apparently Ichi’s.

My Tsuki-chan.

His heart fluttered.

What he wouldn’t give to hear Ichi say that sappy shit to him in person.

xxxxx

Izuku laughed as he navigated the labyrinth that was Satsu, taking turn after turn, passing torches and hydrangeas and tulips and lilies as he hoped he wouldn’t run face-first into Kacchan.

All that momentum, all that building himself up, that challenging Kacchan- would be for nothing if he did that! He wanted Kacchan to like him, after all.

Like, or love?

Love.

He wanted Kacchan to love him.

It was selfish; Kacchan didn’t even know who he was, he was tricking him!

But it’s not like I’d confess to him before talking it out…! Not unless he confessed or something- maybe? I don’t know. It’s useless thinking about it, anyway. I doubt Kacchan likes me like that, he’s probably only flirting with me just because I’m doing it, or something. Or maybe I’m still upsetting him but he doesn’t wanna say? No, no, Kacchan would say something! Especially now- he’s honest with me, or at least, he’s honest with Ichi. And he didn’t HAVE to start calling me Ichi! And he was being flirty when he told me why- I think? It seemed flirty, but I don’t know!

He was getting distracted.

He was also getting lost.

Despite Satsu not being a horror-themed town, the real horror was its layout, narrow pathways that wound and wound, pathways that made Izuku dizzy trying to figure out- was he going in circles, or did it only seem like he was? How did Kacchan remember this layout? Did he have a map somewhere, or was his town like this for so long that it was just instinctive to him, as he navigated the pathways over the years?

Izuku came across a clearing.

Finally! A clearing probably means a building! Or a garden, or something! Something other than those pathways!

There was a building, indeed. Izuku’s eyes shone at what he’d found, marvelling at it.

Kacchan’s house was large, a zen-style house styled with greys and reds.

This is amazing! Kacchan must have every expansion!

I wonder what the inside looks like.

Should I…?

Kacchan would probably be mad.

Maybe.

He could toe the waters, but it would mean giving away his location. All he could do was hope that Kacchan was too far away to get there quickly- the curiosity was eating him alive.

129: hey, tsuki-chan! nice house!!

Tsuki-chan: WHAT

Tsuki-chan: of course its a nice house!!

129: im going in!!

Tsuki-chan: FUCK YOU

If Kacchan really hadn’t wanted him to go inside, he would have said so.

So inside he went.

The first thing that smacked into him when he stepped into Kacchan’s living room made his face heat up- but there was no way it had anything to do with that, did it?

There was no way-! Izuku was just projecting! It was late, he must not be thinking straight!

129: wow, tsuki-chan!

129: it’s so…

So very…

It was- it made Izuku’s heart beat wildly in his chest as he looked across Kacchan’s living room, as he ran from room to room to room and saw the same, overarching theme, the same theme that made his palms sweaty and a wide smile form on his face.

It was so… Kacchan’s house was so…

….so….

129: ...green!

Light green, dark green, green floors- some of it custom patterns of dark green wood- green wallpapers, wood furniture and little splashes of red here and there, little hints of color- but the main, theme color was green.

So much green, it made Izuku turn red.

He knew, he knew it had nothing to do with him, but he still blushed as he looked at the rooms- the one he’d just entered was a greenhouse, with a hammock in it and a chair and plants covering the walls and every available surface, the green leaves dotted with flowers.

Tsuki-chan: yeah.

Tsuki-chan: i like green

129: oh? is it your favorite?

Tsuki-chan: never thought about it

Tsuki-chan: but i guess

Tsuki-chan: how about you?

129: you’d like me, then;; i wear a lot of green!

129: but my actual favorite is red

129: green just looks the best on me!

Tsuki-chan: i bet you look good in red.

129: and i bet you look good in green!

Tsuki-chan: eh. can’t say

129: why not?

Tsuki-chan: i don’t wear a lot of green

Tsuki-chan: it would be a little weird

129: why weird?

Izuku’s heart beat even harder as Kacchan hesitated.

Tsuki-chan: bonesoup is very green

Tsuki-chan: it would be kind of weird.

129: why weird?

129: lots of people have specific colors to them!

Tsuki-chan: well

Tsuki-chan: uuhhh

Tsuki-chan: well

Tsuki-chan: remember a few days ago when i said that

Tsuki-chan: you reminded me of this guy i knew?

Tsuki-chan: that i may or may not like

No.

No way.

There was no way Kacchan was about to say what Izuku thought he was going to say.

No way at all.

No way!

129: yeah?

Tsuki-chan: bonesoup. is the guy

Tsuki-chan: so i cant wear much green

Tsuki-chan: so its weird

It was as if Izuku’s world had stopped in its tracks; the only thing existing for now and all of eternity being himself and what Kacchan had just said to him. His mouth hung open in shock and he felt tears welling up in his eyes- although he wasn’t upset; far from it.

Kacchan liked him.

Kacchan LIKED him.

KACCHAN liked HIM!

Suddenly, Izuku’s locked-away desires were pushed to the forefront, his entire being flooding with emotion as he was drowning in love, love, love, nothing else but love for Kacchan, his Kacchan, his Kacchan whom he’d loved for so long and who loved him back, had loved him back all this time-

It was almost enough to make him admit who he was right then and there- and if he wasn’t frozen in shock, he just might have.

Kacchan; amazing, inspiring Kacchan, liked him.

Kacchan didn’t hate him.

Kacchan liked- loved him!

What he wouldn’t give to be able to rush to Kacchan’s house, right now in the middle of the night, and leap into his arms, showering him with kisses and proclaiming that he loves him back! He loves Kacchan so much, he’s loved Kacchan ever since he could remember!

He was in heaven.

He really, truly, was in heaven- he’d only been nearly as happy as this a choice few times in his life- and even then, he wasn’t sure if he’d been happier then than he was now.

Anything could happen, anything could come of this situation Izuku found himself in; this delicate, intimate dance of a situation, a situation of halfway false anonymity and secrets that ate at Izuku’s core from the inside out, begging to be let free-

But anything could happen, now.

Perhaps the chance that this would go catastrophically wrong was less than Izuku thought.

Tsuki-chan: hey. you alive there?

Did that silence give me away?

I hope not!

Or maybe that would be a good thing? I don’t know anymore…!

Izuku quickly dragged himself back to reality and typed out an answer.

129: yeah im here!

Tsuki-chan: look. dont think much of it ok

Tsuki-chan: im not sure if i do or dont like him

Tsuki-chan: he would never like me. so i never thought about it

129: what makes you say that…?

Tsuki-chan: i was a dick to him

Tsuki-chan: besides why would someone who looks down on me want to be with me

129: you don’t know for sure if he looks down on you!

Tsuki-chan: even if he doesnt.

Tsuki-chan: you know the sh t ive done to him.

Tsuki-chan: why would anyone want to be with their tormentor

129: tsuki! there HAS to be a reason why he still cares

129: are you really giving up without even trying to talk to him?

Tsuki-chan: im going to talk to him.

Tsuki-chan: never f ing said i was giving up on that

129: but you’ve given up on him ever reciprocating

There was a long pause.

Had Kacchan given up? It wasn’t like Kacchan to give up on anything, ever.

Then again, Kacchan had been doing a lot of things that he didn’t seem like the type to do.

Tsuki-chan: havent given up

Tsuki-chan: if i did like him i wouldnt give up

129: are you sure?

Tsuki-chan: its no use thinking about it. ok?

Tsuki-chan: no use even thinking about it before i even f ing talked to the guy

Tsuki-chan: besides. theres another reason i dont want to think about it

Tsuki-chan: because theres just no reason to

129: and that reason is?

Kacchan didn’t answer.

Izuku’s fingers twitched, the silence beginning to get awkward. Should he say something to break the silence? What was Kacchan doing?

Was he-?

Was he-?

No. No, don’t think about that! He’s probably just typing! Maybe he’s typing on his phone, because whatever he’s saying is too long for the character limit! Or maybe he’s thinking about what he’s going to say! He’s not doing that, he’s not, he’s not that upset is he?

129: tsuki…?

129: are you okay?

Tsuki-chan: yeah

Tsuki-chan: typing

Good.

Izuku couldn’t shake the pit forming in him, though. He needed a distraction.

129: can i explore your house…?

Tsuki-chan: sure

Izuku broke away from Kacchan and started exploring the rest of the house- Kacchan had caught up to him in the greenhouse room, and before, he’d been too caught up in his own mind to fully digest what each room was- just that they were green, green, green.

The main room was just that, a living room. Green floors with light green walls- but an orange carpet. Izuku noted the Jacob’s Ladder in a pot on a table. Of course Kacchan would show it off like that- why wouldn’t he? His town was perfect!

Izuku wandered into the next room, and was met with- a kitchen? Every single item in this room pointed to it being a kitchen- of course, the wallpaper was green, and the floor looked to be an edit of a white-and-yellow tiled floor, making it white-and-green.

Kacchan really is committed to this whole green thing… not even I’m that committed to one color!

Bowls of fruit dotted the tables in this room- it was… very home-y. If this was a real house, Izuku would never leave it.

Would Kacchan live in a house like this?

Izuku had no idea what he would expect from a living space that Kacchan had total control over. Perhaps it would be larger than life? Fancy? Or maybe it would be simple- would it be neat, or messy?

He had absolutely no idea.

But perhaps, it would be something like this? What he wouldn’t give to see Kacchan’s real house in the future, see what Kacchan would do with his own space.

A selfish little part of him wished it wasn’t only Kacchan’s space.

A hopeful little part of him whispered it could be yours, too.

You don’t know yet. Maybe he does like you, after all.

He seems to like Ichi a lot. Maybe he’d like Izuku again.

Maybe.

The third room was a music room.

It was impressive, too- the walls here were red, granted, but here was where the custom dark green flooring was shown off. Records- obviously a custom-made pattern- were hung on the wall as well. The room was decorated with electric guitars, a mic stand, and its centerpiece- the drum set. A few bright red chairs dotted the room- to simulate where an audience sat, maybe?

Did Kacchan play an instrument? Did Kacchan play multiple instruments?

Izuku needed to ask him, once he got back from… whatever it was he was doing.

A pit formed in him.

Okay. Next! Next room! Basement!

He sprinted to the basement.

The green theme was alive and well, albeit it was justified here- the basement, ironically, was made to look like the outdoors. Trophies from the annual bug-catching and fishing tournaments were proudly displayed on tables, lining the room with them.

Impressive- but that was all this room had to offer.

Izuku wanted to see Kacchan’s bedroom.

Maybe we could share something like what I see up there, one day?

Maybe.

Of course Kacchan’s bedroom was green, in fact, it was the room most overpowered by green. Plants littered the room, along with a carpet and yet another Jacob’s Ladder next to Kacchan’s bed- of course, on a green table.

Kacchan’s bed was a wide bed, the obvious centerpiece of the room. It seemed as if Kacchan was still occupied- if Izuku was quick about it, he wouldn’t get caught.

As he moved to lay down in Kacchan’s bed, he wondered why he was so worried about getting caught in the first place. It’s not like he was in Kacchan’s actual bed, wrapping himself up in Kacchan’s actual blankets, taking in Kacchan’s actual scent and committing it to memory.

Caramel.

Izuku had faintly remembered it from their childhoods. Kacchan had always smelled like caramel, but the smell was so much stronger nowadays; it permeated Izuku’s entire being, nestling itself deep into his essence and holding on tight.

He closed his eyes and nestled under his blankets, letting the warmth envelop him as if it were his Kacchan, with his arms around him and face nestled into the crook of his neck- his Kacchan, whose hand Izuku was grasping, holding it to his face as he gave it kiss after gentle kiss, his lips brushing Kacchan’s knuckles as he breathed in deep and let the sweet smell wash over him, lulling him to sleep…

Tsuki-chan: this aint a f in bed n breakfast

Izuku’s eyes snapped open- laying down was a bad idea, it seems. He got off Kacchan’s bed and stood next to him, making a sheepish expression in-game.

129: aah!!

129: i fell asleep for a bit there, haha

129: for real!

Tsuki-chan: cute.

Tsuki-chan: ichi wants to sleep?

Tsuki-chan: great. now you’ve got me doing the third-person talk thing.

129: it’s cute when you do it!

129: ...are you done typing?

Tsuki-chan: uh yeah

Tsuki-chan: never sent it so dont even bother looking

Tsuki-chan: ill tell you whats up eventually though

129: ok…

Tsuki-chan: i didnt do anything if thats what youre worried about, ok?

A weight was suddenly lifted off Izuku- it was a weight he’d become numb to, yet the feeling of being free of it finally, finally allowed him to relax, his body going limp, exhaustion creeping in due to being tensed up for so long.

129: good

129: thank you for telling me, tsuki-chan

Tsuki-chan: its whatever

Tsuki-chan: rather not see you panic like that again

129: haha yeah;;

Tsuki-chan: im tired

Tsuki-chan: bet you are too, nerd

129: i did fall asleep earlier, haha;;

Tsuki-chan: wish i couldve seen it

Tsuki-chan: wait that sounds creepy

129: haha!! dont worry about it!

129: i kind of… wish you were here too

Tsuki-chan: do you now

129: yeah…!

129: maybe one day?

Tsuki-chan: one day, nerd.

xxxxx

Just like that, Ichi had to leave Satsu so they could save their respective games.

Katsuki walked him to the station, bidding him good night just before he left.

Tsuki-chan: i love you.

Of course, there was nobody around to hear it.

Katsuki stared at his screen, and felt nothing.

Felt as if nothing was there? What was even the difference, anymore?

He felt only the love blossoming in his chest- and with it, the longing he was so familiar with, the crushing feeling of having something you desperately want be just out of reach, and no matter how much you tried, you would never catch it, never grasp it in your hands and call it yours.

Are you really giving up without even trying to talk to him?

Katsuki Bakugo was not one to give up.

How hypocritical. You fucking gave up on LIFE.

Maybe so.

But as long as he was still breathing, Katsuki Bakugo was not one to give up. If he were to live to see the fruits of his labor, he would make sure the harvest was worth living for.

Not because he particularly wanted to- but because he deserved at least something for his trouble.

If he couldn’t die, then his hand was forced- he had to live. And if he had to live, like hell he’d live as a nobody.

Katsuki needed to plan for every possibility- if he died, he died. And if he lived, he lived.

And if he lived, he’d damn well at least like what’s there.

You like Ichi.

He loved Ichi.

Katsuki looked at what he’d saved in his notes- the text he was too afraid to send. Lines upon lines of his feelings, spilled onto the screen without anything holding them back, all leading up to what he felt, deep inside of him.

I love you, Ichi.

I fucking love you.

His finger had hovered over the send button for far too long- far too long, until he’d copied it all and saved it away, tucked where nobody would find it.

Katsuki Bakugo hadn’t given up.

He wasn’t ready, yet- but that didn’t mean he’d keep his feelings hidden away forever. There was no use in giving up before even trying to see if Ichi would reciprocate or not. If everything Katsuki had said, everything Ichi had known about him, everything he’s seen him do and say hadn’t ruined their friendship, then a rejection wouldn’t end it, either.

Hopefully.

Hope.

That was all Katsuki had- and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to take it.