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Wandering Soul

Chapter Text

Time.

Time sets the pace of our daily lives.

Wake up at 6am, get ready for work, shower and make breakfast. Inevitably you realize it is already late so there is no time to eat and enjoy the meal. Go to work, attend yet another meeting at 3pm and call the gardener at 4:30pm. Get home at 7pm to feed the kids or study. Whatever the case.

Everything was dictated by time.

Time was a never-ending cycle.

Time doesn’t stop. Everything remains in motion - people, animals, molecules - that is until death.

Or that was what she thought before she became this.

 

Lexa couldn’t look at her own reflection in front of the old, dirty mirror in the middle of the living room of her small suburban home. She was ethereal, invisible to the human eye, yet cats and dogs could sense her, she could tell by how restless they got when she was around in the small garden she had in the front yard.

Dejected, she moved towards the kitchen, her shoulders a bit sagged after trying again to gather at least some kind of corporeal form. She could feel all her limbs and every part of her body as if it was made of flesh and bone, yet for some reason she was in this state of invisibility.

 

She had no idea what she was, she assumed she had died, but if she was really dead, would she really be in her place?

The last thing she remembered was the accident. One minute she was driving back home after having one last argument with her ex, Costia, and the next she was rammed out of the way. After that? Everything went black.

Next time she opened her eyes she wasn’t exactly herself anymore. She was in theory kind of the same person; her tanned skin was barely there, as if the pigments on her skin became invisible, and she always felt cold, empty. Lexa didn’t need food nor water, she didn’t need sleep, however, she felt lethargic most of the time. Exhausted as if she was carrying such a heavy burden that not even in this form she could stand it.

 

Her sister Anya had come to pack her things some time ago. She tried to communicate with Anya. Seeing her sister’s overwhelming sadness in her eyes while trying to hold back tears told Lexa things hadn’t been good for her, and she probably had a horrible death if Anya looked so devastated.

“Anya, it’s me! Anya! Please can you hear me!?” Lexa shouted, but it was all in vain.

Little by little this two-bedroom home was emptied and now it was bare, with just the furniture left. All her pictures and mementos were gone.

All that was left was herself.

Since then she had been stuck here. With no real sense of time and unbearably alone.

Lexa could move around her house, cross through walls and objects, move all the way to her garden. The few times she tried to move across the little wooden fence she became too weak to even be in her ghostly form. Maybe because this was the place she called home for many years. Because this was where she planned once upon a time to move in with Costia. A place that was hers.

Clearly not anymore.

 

Lexa heard noise outside, a familiar deep voice that sounded like Lincoln and a female one. Lexa peeked through the windows and narrowed her eyes as Lincoln, her cousin, opened the door to her home.

“Please come in.” The tall, muscular black man moved to the side holding the door for the incoming stranger.

“It’s a nice neighborhood. Pretty close to campus too!” The blonde with sky blue eyes looked around the place, eyes skimming the living room and clearly missing the additional presence in the corner.

“Yes, this is a centric location and surrounded by beautiful forests. Polis truly is a good place to live, Ms. Griffin.” Lincoln smiled and escorted the blonde towards the kitchen. “All furniture is in perfect condition as you can see. Lincoln opened and closed some cupboards for the guest. “The fireplace is styled with stone and makes the perfect place to stay cozy during those cold winter days.” The man added.

The guest widened her lips as if thinking of a certain person she’d like to share some cozy moments.

“Mr. Woods, not gonna lie this place is very nice, but it looks dull if I’m honest. Not sure if the previous owner was that uptight, but it needs some life.”

Lincoln laughed hard, holding his tight abdomen as he cackled, “I appreciate your honesty and uh, we could say that.”

Lexa perked her brow at that.

“The white walls and the wood decor makes it look so serious. I’m an artist you see and uh, I was wondering if it’s okay to at least paint a little and to add some life to this place.”

“Hmph! Excuse me, Ms. Artist? There is nothing wrong with being serious. I am not uptight by the way. I absolutely had some fun while reading in front of that dull fireplace.” Lexa was indignant crossing her arms in front of her chest like a petulant child being scolded.

“Oh, I think we can arrange that in the lease contract. I think that some color could be beneficial, too.” He said with some melancholy, but it passed quickly. “Let me show you the first the master bedroom, and then we’ll check the rest of available rooms.”

“Sounds good” The blonde, Ms. Griffin replied.

 

“Ahm, no I don’t think so. That is MY bedroom. You and your artist hands won’t touch anything in that place.” Lexa immediately was on the move, stepping in front of the blonde trying to cut her off. “I paid for this place with my damn sweat, and no blondie will take it away from me!”

As expected, the young woman walked through her as if she were nothing. However, as the blonde moved through her, Lexa felt the weirdest sensation. A warmth spread through her invisible body making her feel like a tingling in her limbs.

“Kind of cold around here, though.” The artist rubbed arms to warm herself.

“October usually gets a bit colder up here in Polis, but the thermostat is in working condition so you can adjust it to your liking.” Lincoln answered with a kind smile.

 

Lexa followed them to what was her room stopping beside the blonde and observed her in more detail. She was completely intrigued by their encounter.

She noticed the blonde was a little short in height, her hair was a beautiful yellow like a Marigold flower in full bloom, and her eyes were a clear blue with tints of grey. She had a really cute chin dimple and a mole above her lip. Her smile was also pretty and oh, her bosom looked very soft. Lexa was enthralled and had to shake herself out of her reverie.

“Really spacious. I like it.” The blonde said.

At that Lexa rolled her eyes, “Please, I selected this place mostly because I had plenty of room.”

“Good, then you’re going to like the rest.” Lincoln walked closer to Clarke, offering his arm like a gentleman. “Allow me to show you the restroom and the next bedroom, Ms. Griffin.”

“Please Dr. Woods, just because you work with my mom in Arkadia General doesn’t mean you have to call me that. Clarke is more than fine.”

“Then please call me Lincoln.”

 

Klark.” Lexa tested the name. “Isn’t that a boy’s name?”

 

Lexa decided to remain in the living room while Lincoln gave a whole tour of the premises to this strange girl. After several minutes they returned back to the living room.

“It is pretty much what I’m looking for. The rent is not bad either. Me and my roommate are looking for a new place of our own. Our last apartment was too expensive and so far away from campus and work.”

Lincoln nodded. “Well, you’ve seen it and like I said Polis is very different from Arkadia.”

After a pause, the blonde nervously licked her lips and asked Lincoln something that Lexa had been wondering herself.

“What happened to the previous owner, if you don’t mind me asking? I wouldn’t leave such a place where I’m surrounded by nature instead of skyscrapers.”

At that Lexa noticed the sadness etched on the set of Lincoln’s jaw and the way his brown eyes dimmed a bit, thick shoulders sagging. “Lexa, my cousin. She had an accident way back in March. It was bad…”

“Oh God! I’m so sorry.” Clarke gasped in genuine shock.

Lincoln shook his head. “Not your fault. She loved this house, and she’d be happy if someone cared for this place as much as she did. Lexa is in a better place now.”

After a moment of awkward silence, Clarke looking as if she regretted asking such question. The blonde couldn’t maintain eye contact with Lincoln.

“I hope this is what you were looking for.” Lincoln said with a firm smile. Eyes never judging or making Clarke feel bad at all for bringing such a personal and sensitive topic.

“It is a nice home, and my best friend, who is also my roommate, will enjoy it as well. I think I’d like to sign the papers for the rental lease as soon as possible.”

“That’s good to hear! Please follow me. I’ll escort you out.”

 

The duo left the house leaving Lexa feeling a hole in her chest. “So I died? Is this why I’m here? A horrible accident in March and seven months later I’m still here but not really here?” Lexa sighed heavily. “I think I’m starting to have like a headache or something.”

Lexa vanished completely to rest.

 

--oo--

 

Three days later Lexa was again disturbed by lots of noise in her home. Apparently, Clarke officially rented the place because some people brought some boxes over early today, if the name CLARKE in bold letters was any indication. There were other boxes with the name RAVEN’S LAIR too.

Her suspicions became true when the blonde arrived with some guys carrying what seem to be the remaining items.

Lexa simply observed from the corner where she was sulking seeing her place become the home of someone else.

 

“Where do you want this box? There is no label, Princess.” Lexa heard the tall, bearded man with shaggy hair ask.

“Ah, those are my art supplies, can you leave them near those windows? Thanks Bell.”

“You got it!”

“What about this kitchen stuff? Want them in the cupboard?” The skinny asian guy now asked holding the box with kitchen items with one hand.

“Don’t worry Monty. Me and Raven will arrange everything. Thanks you two!” Clarke walked around and made sure everything was where she needed it.

“If you need anything else just call.” Monty waved goodbye, and the two friends left the blonde alone.

A minute later, a dark-haired young woman with brown skin entered the place, she wore a brace on her left leg. “This place is great! I can work some of my projects in the backyard, and no one will complain this time!”

Clarke chuckled, “Raven, don’t go crazy please. We don’t want to get in trouble with the neighbors.”

“Relax, Griffin. No fires or explosions this time. All in the name of science.” Raven said. She picked up some boxes and moved to the back of the house to the second bedroom. There was a barely noticeable gait due to the brace, but that clearly didn’t stop the girl.

 

“I’m going to begin unpacking, and then we can start in the kitchen, Rae.” Clarke shouted before she headed to the main bedroom.

Lexa followed, intrigued by the blonde.

“Ugh this part is not fun, but I better start or else I’ll sleep in my undies.” Clarke put her phone on the night table and pressed play in one of her playlists. Once the music began, Clarke kneeled on the floor opening the first cardboard box to take out shoes and accessories.

“Moving is no fun at all. Anya came and helped me move when I found this place. I was going to start college too, law school. That was 3-years ago, and I really put so much of my time to make this place perfect for her. Anyway, the thing is that my older sister is too lazy you see. I ended up doing almost everything, but I was happy in the end. I was a fool.” Lexa felt like she could share these things with the blonde, she trusted her for some reason. It’s been quite some time since she held a conversation with anyone, if she could call this even a conversation to begin with. Lexa had no idea if there were other wandering spirits like her or if she was the only one stuck in this ethereal plane, but at least the blonde made it comforting.

Next, Clarke began to unpack a duffel bag full with lots of clothes. She started to put some shirts on to hangers arranging them in the small closet. One by one, taking her time to leave everything in place.

 

“I’d help if I could.” Lexa continued making conversation because why not. “You have a lot of stuff in there, Clarke. Maybe it’s time to get rid of the things you don’t use anymore?”

Clarke hummed along the song that played, swaying her hips just a bit making the chores less boring.

Lexa chuckled seeing the happy vibe the blonde artist emanated. It was contagious.

Clarke observed her work in the closet once it was full before she began arranging the bed.

 

“Yoo Griffin, you done? I’m hungry, mamita.” Raven asked from the living room.

“Putting the sheets in bed, Reyes. Almost done!”

Clarke pulled from the bag the clean cotton sheets and extended them over the bed, she smoothed some wrinkles with her hands and next added her pillows. She put on the pillowcases and arranged them near the headboard.

“Now I need to adjust the other side, and I’m done.” Clarke walked to the corner of the bed and lifted up a bit to set the sheet in place, but when she lifted the mattress she noticed a picture stuck between the bed and night table.

“What is this?”

Lexa gasped, her eyes wide as saucers. “I’m an idiot. I should have thrown that picture in the garbage can.”

 

Clarke observed the photo in silence. Her eyes fixed on the image.

Lexa knew what was on it, because that day had been full of happiness. Lexa, Anya and Costia had gone to the beach, they had such a great time.

“Wow, these girls are hot.” Clarke frowned noticing that there was a tear in the middle of the photograph between the two girls. Though the photo was still in one piece. Clarke examined the picture from behind. Turning it around.

“Lex and Cos forever.” Clarke read.

“I guess this is the Lexa that Lincoln told me about. And this Cos could be a friend. Maybe I should give it back to Lincoln since this is his cousin.”

“NO!” Lexa quickly said. “Listen Clarke, that is a BAD idea. I should have thrown that stupid picture in the fireplace, but I missed her. Yes, Anya. I can admit it now. I was still pining for her after Costia decided I was ruining her dreams and future.” Lexa tried to grab the picture several times in vain. However, every time she moved her hand through Clarke’s hand she felt the same tingling sensation.

 

Clarke lifted her gaze looking around her as if she heard or felt something, but then she returned her gaze back to the picture to examine it closely.

“What happened to you, Lexa?” Clarke asked the Lexa in the picture.

Hearing Clarke saying her name made her feel a thousand butterflies in the pit of her stomach.

“Feels cold again. Weird since there are no open windows in here, and the thermostat isn’t that low.” Clarke left the picture on top of the night table and moved to the living room to order food.

 

“Reyes! Did you touch the thermostat? It’s getting kind of cold in here.” Clarke asked her friend who was lounging comfortably in the couch.

Raven lifted her head to look at Clarke. “I haven’t touched anything. Look, I’ll take a look in a moment, but I don’t feel it’s cold enough to freeze my tits. It’s October. We don’t need the inside of the house to be hot right now.”

“Fine. What do you want to order?”

 

Lexa stayed in her bedroom ignoring the noise of the two new hosts of her house and moved over the table looking at the old photograph. Her green eyes were full of happiness, her tight-lipped smile full blown whilst Costia held her on her side. The two were smiling to the camera that Anya was holding that day they went out to the beach to celebrate her law degree last year.

“Funny thing. I don’t feel anything at all now. I’m not sad anymore Costia. I see you, and I feel nothing. Perks of being a ghost or whatever the hell I am. You’ve never been patient, Cos. I told you so many times it takes as long as it takes, but you lived in the moment. After I graduated, I was ready to begin building our life together, but not you. You wanted the big life that I couldn’t provide, and you dumped me because I held you back. You never gave me a chance, and now I guess I’ll never have another opportunity to find that person that would said yes to me.”

 

--oo--

 

By night, Clarke was clearly exhausted. She had unpacked most of her things and now was laying on the couch in front of her laptop, wearing a comfy sweatpant and a hoodie. Raven plopped on the side with a bucket of popcorn, empty chinese food containers filling the table.

For a minute Lexa wished she could taste and smell the popcorn.

 

Clarke was selecting a movie in her laptop. “What is it going to be Rae?”

Lexa decided to join them and took the spot besides Clarke on the large couch.

Clarke blinked a bit and adjusted her hoodie. Then, Clarke typed in the search engine bar the name of a website.

“The Little Mermaid?”

“Naaah, not in the mood to sing along tonight.” Raven munched some more popcorn and rested her feet on the coffee table in front of them.

“Then what?”

“Mulan!” Lexa proposed seeing all the available titles on the screen.

“Really?” Clarke turn to look at Raven. “We watched that one the last time. You forgot?”

Raven frowned eyeing Clarke like she was crazy. “I haven’t said anything.”
“What? You said Mulan, Reyes, don’t play dumb.”

“I didn’t, but now that you mention it we can watch it again. At least that one has more action.”

“No way. Let’s watch Legend of Korra instead.”

“Sure. You psycho!” Raven threw some popcorn at Clarke.

 

Lexa was stuck in place looking at Clarke. She heard her! Somehow Clarke Griffin managed to hear her.

How? Why?

Lexa started to see the silhouette of her hands with more clarity, a barely there shape, but it was something when there was nothing before. Lexa returned her gaze to the mysterious blonde, trying to understand what was happening.

The moment Clarke came to this place something shifted. That first time Clarke walked through her something changed. It was like a bond was formed between them and now had Lexa connected to the blonde. It was possible that it was the reason why Clarke had managed to hear her or even feel Lexa’s presence and not Raven.

 

Lexa was completely lost in her ruminating when Clarke’s phone dinged. Clarke reached for it obviously not realizing Lexa’s hand was on top of it.

At the contact Clarke retrieved her hand as if an electrical current just passed into her hand.

“Ow!” Clarke look at her hand, then her phone. She rubbed her left hand trying to remove the sensation caused by the bolt-like feeling they just felt.

“Sup with you Clarke?”

“I uh, I think I got an electric shock from my phone.”

Raven rolled her eyes and picked the phone, examining it. “I don’t feel or see anything wrong, Clarke. Here you go.”

 

“You felt it too?” Lexa looked at her hand still feeling the buzzing in her palm, then at Clarke.

Clarke grabbed with hesitation her phone and unlocked it to answer the text. Once she realized nothing was wrong she held it with more confidence. Typing back and forth with some of her friends.

“Octavia says hi.” Was all Clarke said.

“Tell Octagon that she’s not invited to our housewarming party. Kids aren’t allowed.”

Clarke chuckled typing the text. “Aaaand she emoji-flipped you.”
Raven laughed. “Ballsy.”

 

Lexa was very curious. She tried to examine the cellphone closely and to make contact with it without success. However, she was practically sitting on Clarke’s lap.

“Jesus, I had no idea this place could get this cold. What the hell is wrong with the thermostat?”

“Oh, sorry I uh, I had no idea.” Lexa embarrassed moved away.

“Clarke it’s not cold. I think you might be getting the flu, girl.” Raven scooted a few spots away from the blonde in mockery.

“God I hope not. I have to finish my painting and write the proposal to Mr. Wallace about some possible exhibits for the gallery.”

 

“Could it be me?” Lexa asked no one. “Could it be that you’re reacting to my presence?” Lexa stood up and waited for Clarke to return her focus to the show. Lexa kneeled in front of her and looked straight into the blue eyes of the blonde.

“Clarke?” Lexa tried to call but to no avail. She shook her head and sat down on the floor, right beside the coffee table.

“Actually, I think I’m gonna call it a night. You might be right, Raven.”

“Of course I am! Sleep tight, Clarke.”

 

As Clarke left, Lexa could feel there were remnants of warmth in her body where she had technically touched Clarke. She wanted to experiment more, but of course she wouldn’t be doing any of that while Clarke slept. That would be considered creepy even to her ghostly standards.

“I’ve never felt anything until now.” Lexa moved to the spot left by Clarke to join Raven.

“Could it be that this girl’s presence is the reason?”

“I’ve been wandering in this place I believe for some months already. The few times someone came in was to remove my stuff and take it away to who knows where. No one ever noticed me, neither did I.”

Lexa kept staring at her ghostly hand, trying to understand this sensation. It was like electricity flowed along her body, and she was feeling better than ever, not all gloomy but stronger.

“I think I’m going to have to find out how much I can do with your help, Clarke.”

Chapter Text

“Yes, mom. I know, but I swear once I’m done with my project I’ll meet you for lunch like I promised. Yup, Raven too.” Clarke was wearing shorts and a big shirt all splattered with paint. She was outside in the front yard taking advantage of the sunny day and taking in the beautiful colors of the red, orange and yellow leaves on the trees surrounding her.

On the small table, she left her father’s watch, the color palette and some tubes with colors.

“Yup, Polis is lovely, mom. I really like it. Thanks for telling Dr. Woods.” Clarke put the cellphone between her shoulder and neck to hold it while she added more color. “Aha, I love you too. Send hugs to Marcus.” Clarke said as she finished the call. She put the phone on the table and focused on her painting.

 

“Okay back to work.”

 

Clarke continued working on her current canvas. College was intense this semester, and she had to ace this subject to improve her overall GPA. The semester was about to conclude, and she was finally going to get her degree in arts.

Clarke took a sniff of the air at the sudden change of smell. “Raven! What the fuck are you burning now?” Clarke left the brush over the table.

Jogging swiftly to the backyard to shout at the soon to be engineer. “Raven, for the love of God. Don’t burn the yard!”

“Relax, Clarke. It is just the oil that burned in this hot engine. I got it mami, no need to yell.” Raven winked and blew a kiss to her friend.

“Yeah, yeah. You’ll deal with Titus the next time.”

“Baldie is just a rude neighbor.”

Clarke shook her head and returned to the front yard.

 

She was going to pick up her brush again, but realized it wasn’t where she left it. “What the-”

Clarke furrowed her brows and looked around. “I could’ve sworn I left it right here on the table.”

Clarke began looking around and found her brush on the easel. “I don’t think I left you here.” Clarke examined the brush. “Jesus, either I am getting forgetful or some shit is going on in here. It’s been happening to me since we moved a week ago.” Clarke looked around her. “Must be a case of bad luck, the fucking Finn curse hasn’t been lifted yet..”

 

When Clarke finished her work for the day, she moved her easel and canvas back inside Raven can you put the table with my things back in the living room?”

“Sure. I’ll be there in a second!”

“I’m going to wash my hands, and then we can check out the decorations you want to buy for Halloween.” Clarke noticed Raven already finishing with her own latest machine.

“Abso-fucking-lutely! Halloween is around the corner, and this is the perfect place to scare the trick or treaters. I already have in mind the perfect design for the pumpkin that we will  leave at the front door.”

“Oh boy, don’t you dare scare the little kids. Last time was horrible with some of the younger ones crying! I want us to get along with the the people of Polis.”

“I got this under control, but baldie can take a hike!”

“Yeah I don’t like Titus either, but he’s our neighbor, and we won’t be stooping to his level, Rae.”

“Clarke shut the restroom door and opened the water faucet.

 

In the mirror, Clarke looked at her reflection. Staring at her tired eyes, she splashed her face.

“It has to be stress. That is the only explanation for the weirdness around.” Clarke looked back at the mirror. “Yup, nothing but stress and not getting laid in months. A couple of orgasms might be in hand for tonight.” Clarke closed the water source and toweled her face thoroughly.

She turned around to exit when she found her father’s watch nearby on the marble countertop. She picked it up.

 

“Raven, I told you to leave my things in the living room. There was no need to… What are you doing with my phone?”

Raven wiggled the phone in her hand. “You got some juicy texts from your dear Niylah.”

“Stop that. Niylah is just a friend. Why is it hard for you to understand that?” Clarke rolled her eyes already fed up with her friend trying to play matchmaker.

“Because you’re an idiot. Niylah is head over heels for you. She’s cute, gentle and already crushing hard on you, Clarke. Why don’t you give her a chance?”

Clarke took her phone back and replied to Niylah’s messages as always polite. “We work together, and that’s all there is to it.”

“Now, I told you to leave my things here. There was no need to leave my father’s watch in the restroom.

Raven perked her brow. “Clarke, there was no watch on the table.”

Clarke tilted her head.

“I bet you took it by inertia and didn’t notice.”

Clarke remained pensive. “Yeah, it must be that.”

 

--oo--

 

Since she moved in and even as they decorated for Halloween, Clarke felt a weird sensation at the house. That feeling had been like there was a heaviness in the air, but not in a bad or negative way. More like there was a kind of energy that made everything crack. She was mostly cold inside the house too, which was weird considering she wasn’t sick. And apparently Raven was more than alright and not perceiving any of the changes Clarke described. It was possible that Clarke was still adapting to her new home. But the truth was that she was starting to creep out.

 

At work, Clarke didn’t find anything unusual, and she was starting to question her sanity. Instead of worrying about impossible ideas she decided to ignore it and put her best effort in at work.

Clarke was replying to some emails from several clients of Mr. Wallace to help him prepare for the upcoming exhibit the old art aficionado planned. And if one of the most richest men of Arkadia wanted to have a new exhibit, Clarke was going to make sure Dante Wallace had the best. This was her way into the art world, and hoping to have the chance to showcase her work in the Mount Weather Gallery was one she wasn’t going to waste.

 

“Okay, last one, and then I’m gone.” Clarke typed and added the file with the invitation and clicked send.

“Uff, long day.” She picked her phone to check the time. Noticing a text from Raven that said that she was going to be on the campus working on her engineer project and late getting home.

“Guess it’s only dinner for me.”

Clarke grabbed her things and packed everything before heading to the exit.

 

“Hey Clarke!” Nylah appeared on the exit. Her co-worker and friend was always cheerful with her. She had only good things to say about Niylah.

“Niylah, you’re still around huh?” Clarke asked, putting on her jacket to cover the chill of the mid-October winds.

“Yes, was finishing a call with a museum, but I saw your light on and decided to wait for you. I uh, I was hoping we could go and have dinner, if you’re not busy? I’m starving, and I imagine you must be too.” Niylah smiled trying to hide her nerves. She was so sweet and very kind. Clarke was about to reject the invitation but then thought about what Raven said. Maybe the company will remove those goosebumps or whatever it was she felt back home and getting to know Niylah in depth might be a good idea too.

“I’d love to.”

Niylah lighted up like a christmas tree, her brown eyes glinting with happiness. “Then follow me! I’ll drive us. I know a good place outside Arkadia.”

 

Dinner with Niylah was as expected. Funny, with light conversation about work and friends and of course their interests.

Clarke enjoyed her evening and wouldn’t be opposed to spending more time with the taller blonde, yet the time together lacked that spark or chemistry. That connection that ignited her insides. But for now this could be good for her.

Niylah drove her back to the house in Polis. The traffic was light at this time, and it didn’t take long to arrive at her home.

 

“Thanks Niylah I had a great time.” Clarke said as soon as Niylah opened the door for her and helped her out.

“I’m happy to hear that. I was worried you were going to get bored of me and dump me right away.” Niylah rubbed the nape of her neck sheepishly.

Clarke giggled shaking her head, hitting softly the arm of the woman. “You’re excellent company if I must say.” Clarke opened the door of her dark home.

“I was hoping maybe um, if you would like to go out this weekend? Movies if you’re in the mood or-”

Clarke quickly closed the gap and kissed the other woman. Niylah responded eagerly, it was a kiss full of passion but lacking that connection that Clarke seeked.

No spark, no tingles in her fingertips. It was just fun.

Niylah pushed her inside the house, and Clarke shut the door with the heel of her foot. Kissing the blonde in the darkened place, they moved around the living room. Only the sounds of their kisses could be heard.

Suddenly, Clarke felt that electricity run through her body, it was that strange coldness that surrounded her and that sensation of not being alone. Yet she wasn’t scared, it was more like a tiny flame that has been growing from the inside out. A flame that was getting to the point of burning her alive.

 

CRASH

The two women took a step back, catching their breaths.

 

“What was that?” Clarke asked, she wiped the lipstick from her mouth, evidence of what she did before quickly turning the lights on. “Raven you here?”

Nothing.

“Oh,” Niylah pointed behind her to the small vase broken on the carpeted floor. “I’m so sorry. I, uh, I must have bumped it.” Niylah kneeled and began picking up the scattered shards.

“Hey, no no. Don’t do that, don’t worry uhm. It was an accident.” Clarke didn’t say it with so much conviction. “Let me do it.”

Niylah relented and let Clarke do the cleaning.

“I’ll pay for it.” Niylah offered.

“No need. It’s kind of late so um, thanks for dinner. I ah, I’ll see you tomorrow, and sure, we can go out on the weekend.”

Niylah took the message and nodded. “Awesome, good night Clarke. Thanks for coming!” Niylah shut the door and left.

 

“Ha! She wished she did.”

 

Clarke furrowed her brows and lifted her head right away. “Raven? I heard you. Not funny!”

Clarke picked up the broken glasses and dumped them in the trash bin.

She stomped towards Raven’s bedroom. Opening her door wide. “Raven that was fucking ru- Raven?” Clarke swallowed, her eyes moving left and right observing that Raven wasn’t home yet.

“Oh God. Please tell me I’m not going crazy.”

“I’m no God but you’re not crazy, Klark.”

Clarke opened her eyes wide. Her heartbeat skyrocketed. “I heard that.” Clarke began to tremble, her breaths increased its speed.

“Nope. It’s all in my head. This isn’t-”

“Clarke please, don’t panic. Can we-”

“HOLY FUCK! OH GOD! I AM GOING INSAAANE!” Clarke got out of Raven’s room shutting the door fast and hard and moved to the living room. Clarke was looking around her searching for the unknown presence.

Clarke tried to calm her erratic breathing. “Easy, you must be getting sick. Because this doesn’t make sense.”

“I know that you’re panicking but I need you to-”

“NO! I’m not hearing this.” Clarke pointed with her finger around. “This voice, no no no no. It must be my brain suffering from damage.”

“Clarke, stop that. I’m right here. I’ve been around for awhile, but if you let me explain.”
“HA! No fucking way. I need to go to the hospital. This isn’t real. Maybe I am intoxicated, and now I’m hallucinating. Yup, Food poisoning!”

Clarke ran as fast as she could, she opened the door but ended up ramming Raven and both fell to the concrete floor.

 

“Ugh, fuck. Clarke what is wrong with you?” Raven rubbed her leg and stood up dusting off her jeans. “Why are you running like you are escaping a psych ward?” Raven extended her arms to pull Clarke up.

“I uh, I- I- I think I’m sick, Raven. Something is wrong with me.”

Raven grabbed arms hands in hers. “You’re cold. Let’s get you inside and I’ll prepare-”
“NO!” Clarke shook her head. “I uh, I need to get my brain scanned. I’ve heard some tumors might cause hallucinations, and I am definitely hallucinating.”

“Are you on drugs, Clarke?”

“No. I ah, there’s a voice in my head. I gotta see my mom.”

Raven eyed Clarke with lot of skepticism. “A voice in your head? That sounds crazy.”

Taking a step closer Raven cupped Clarke’s face. “Clarke, look at me. You’re not insane. You probably heard a TV.”

“The voice knows my name. She said it in a funny way though.”

“She?”

Clarke looked back the front door of the house.


“It’s cold here come on. Let’s get back inside. You’re starting to spook me too, if this was your plan, Griffin.”

Clarke exhaled softly and closed her eyes. “Okay, you’re right umm, I’m tired, and it’s late. That has to be it.” She rubbed her arms to push the cold away and returned inside the house.

“You just arrived?” Raven dropped her messenger bag on the nearby couch, then she hung her jacket on the perch near the door. “Having fun without me?”

“Niylah asked me out and we uh, I kissed her.”

“Woah, how was it? Spill it all Clarke!” Raven turned more lights and headed into the kitchen she uncapped a bottle of beer and took a swig.

“It was okay.” Clarke said without giving much info. She was still looking out for anything suspicious.”

“You’re gonna go out again?”

“I think so, yep.”

“That’s good. Now let’s get you in bed. You’re freezing.”

 

Raven turned some lamps along the way and guided Clarke back to her room. “You see, it’s all good. I bet you got spooked out by some stupid horror movie.”

“Yeah,” Clarke sighed looking her surroundings. “That must be it.”

“Now try to get some sleep, girl. Good night.”

Clarke nodded in acknowledgement and changed into her sleeping clothes. She brushed her teeth after removing the makeup and walked to bed. She looked around before turning off the lamp and pulled the blankets all way over her head.

“I’m still going to my mom tomorrow. This can’t be happening.”

 

--oo--

 

“Any bumps or headaches? Nausea? Dizziness?” Abby Griffin looked at her chart then to her daughter sitting awkwardly in front of her desk.

“No, but it’s like I hear a kind of um, buzzing?”

Abby pushed her glasses up her nose. Took some notes and eyed Clarke again. “Honey, there was no inflammation in your eardrums which was the first thing I suspected. The blood tests came back normal, and you don’t have any symptoms - no fever, nothing. Your drug screening also is clean, baby. I cannot say then what might be the cause of your buzzing sensation.”

“Mom, there has to be something wrong! I - I can’t keep hearing her, err- it. I’m not making this up!” Clarke  was fidgeting in the chair, her leg bouncing in sign of anxiety. She wouldn’t dare to say her mother she was hearing voices, because that would be truly insane, and she had no way to prove it.

Abby raised her hand in defensiveness. “Clarke, I believe you, but I’m trying to find a scientific explanation for that buzzing. Maybe it could be a brain nerve. Have you had short-term memory loss? Changes in mood? Confusion? Failing sense of direction?”

Clarke shook her head.

Abby sighed. “Medically speaking you’re healthy, Clarke. I have no reason to send you for a brain scan either. Are you sure that happened while you were sober? Alcohol can cause several disorders-”

“Mom, I swear I was sober. I just had dinner with wine and that’s when I uh, I heard the… thing.”

Abby removed her reading glasses leaving them over her desk. She extended her hand and took Clarke’s hand in hers, giving it a light squeeze. “Let’s wait and see if you hear anything again or if you start to develop symptoms, okay? No need to be alarmed yet but I promise all is fine.”

Clarke nodded. “Thanks mom. I gotta go back home.”

“Drive safe and if you feel anything that changes give me a call.”

Abby stood up from her chair and gave a hug before Clarke left Abby’s office.

 

Clarke walked dejectedly, she had no idea if she really imagined it now. She was starting to doubt herself and her sanity.

“Hello, Clarke!”

Clarke lifted her gaze to meet the brown eyes of Dr. Lincoln Woods.

“Hey, Lincoln. Good to see you.”

“Are you here for a consultation or do you need your mother?” The handsome man asked, shoving his hands inside his lab coat. His brown eyes always full of attention and concern.

For some reason, Clarke felt at ease with him. Lincoln was such a soft-spoken man that just his presence made her forget about the spooky occurrences that she experienced.

“Just saw her. Lincoln, by any chance do you know if there are old ducts or vents in the house?” Clarke had to find a logical explanation to what happened to her.

Lincoln frowned, scratching his 5 o’clock shadow in thought. “I don’t think so. Are you having an issue? I can go right after my shift is over to check the air conditioning vents. They all had maintenance last month, but I can go take a look again.”

“Ah thanks, that’d be very helpful. I uh, I kinda heard some aaah, weird sounds, like a lost raccoon or something.”

Lincoln chuckled, “a raccoon?”

Clarke shrugged, “It could be lost.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll check it out so if we find that noisy raccoon, we’ll send it back to the forest. It is not uncommon to find some of those little fellas around the park of Polis so it is a possibility.”

“Thanks, Lincoln. I appreciate your help.”

“Hey, don’t mention it! See you later, Clarke.”

“See you!” Clarke waved farewell and headed into the parking lot hoping that this situation was going to be solved today.

 

--oo--

 

Clarke was home and immediately moved to the yard to try to spend as much time outside as possible. Clarke assumed the problem was actually inside so here she’d be safe.

She wore a big jacket and fluffy pants, to protect her from the chilly autumn wind, and continued working on one of her paintings.

She inhaled the cool scent of the surrounding forest and exhaled keeping all her intrusive thoughts from ruining her painting.

“Now all I have to do is finish this and relax. Everything’s fine.”

Clarke moved the brush in short strokes trying to create an interesting effect on the canvas. Trying to get as close as possible to the vision she had worked previously with her professors.

 

“Clarke, are you going to listen to me?”

 

Clarke stopped. She looked around her, and there was nothing making noise.

“No, this ain’t happening.”

Clarke stopped what she was doing and began packing her things.

“Don’t run away, Clarke!”

“NOPE!” Clarke was shaking her head in denial. “I’m not listening. I’m not hearing anything at all.” She grabbed her easel and put it quickly inside with all her stuff thrown on the kitchen counter.

“Clarke! I’m not going anywhere until you hear me out!”

“La la la la la laaaa.” Clarke began humming covering her ears.

“That’s childish, you know?”

 

DING DONG!

 

Right in that instant the doorbell rang, and Clarke quickly headed to open the door.

“Lincoln! I’m so happy you’re here. Um, there’s that annoying buzzing sound again. Could you check it out?”

“Sure thing.” Lincoln moved past Clarke with his tools and headed to the end of the hall to check out a vent.

Clarke moved to the kitchen and waited tapping her fingers anxiously over the counter. Her heartbeat was already elevated, and she was about to have a nervous breakdown any moment.

“I’m losing it.” Clarke mumbled.

However, there were no sounds or paranormal interruptions so she lowered her defenses.

 

After 20 minutes later Lincoln was already returning. He wiped his hands off, smiling as usual.

“Good news is there is no noisy raccoon, however, I did find some mold in one of the vents. I’ll call maintenance to fix that.”

“I see.” Clarke wished there was a real explanation to the sound, because the fewer reasons for a sound to exist, the more she started to freak out. “No reason for buzzing sounds then?”

“Not at all. Everything is working fine. I oiled the fans, because it is possible that was making the noise, but I promise you it is all in working condition.”

“I appreciate it, Lincoln.”

“If you need anything else, please let me know.” Lincoln took his tools, and Clarke escorted him out of the house.

 

“I need a bath and try to relax. A bath bomb is the perfect excuse.”

 

--oo--

 

Strangely, the rest of the day Clarke didn’t hear a thing. Maybe she was truly imagining things.

After her relaxing bath, she changed into her pjs, microwaved some leftover pizza and dined alone.

Raven had texted her that she was going to be late again since she was working on a big project for her engineer program.

Clarke decided that watching a comedy was the way to go for tonight.

 

Clarke yawned not an hour later. She was exhausted. Clarke turned off the TV and made sure that everything was properly closed before she headed to brush her teeth and wash her face.

“Everything is fine. I just need to sleep off this paranoia I feel. The house is secure, and you’re all alone.” Clarke said to her reflection in the mirror. After drying her face with a towel, she returned to her bed.

She sat in bed, checked her alarm on her cell phone, fixed the blankets and turned off the night lamp on the table.

Clarke closed her eyes and slowly she started to drift to sleep.

 

“Clarke? I’m sorry to bother you, but can you hear me out?”

Clarke sat on the bed faster than a bolt and turned on the lamp.

“No no no. This isn’t happening. There is no one here!”

“Clarke? You’re not insane. I swear it.”

“What the fuck?” Clarke jumped out of her bed and opened her drawer and moved to the corner. “Stay away from me! I’m fucking armed!”

“Clarke, That’s a nail file. I doubt you can cause anyone any harm with that.”

“Huh?” Clarke blinked and realized that the voice was right. “Crap!”

“I’m not going to hurt you. I just want you to please listen to me.”

“Why would I do that? Why are you talking to me? I’ve done nothing!” Clarke shouted still holding the nail file like a lifesaver.

“Breathe. You’re hyperventilating!”

 

Clarke only realized then that indeed she was.

“Breath in. One, two, three and exhale. One, two, three and four.”

Clarke did as the voice instructed, she inhaled and exhaled several times until she calmed herself again.

“Oh God.” Clarke sat back on the bed.

“Are you okay, Clarke?”

“Yes, for being out of my mind I think I am.”

Clarke was amazed at how calming and a soothing that voice was. And the chuckle she heard made her stomach flip.

“Better?”

“Yeah uhm, thanks?”

 

Clarke began to shiver and returned to the safety of her blankets. “Is this your doing?”

“I uh, I think so. Sorry. I- I’m not sure how or why I have an effect on you. This is why I need you to talk with me.”

“Wait, you’re telling me you’ve been here for how long?” Clarke gulped down.

“Months, I think.”

“And how is it that only now I could hear you?”

“I don’t know. When you arrived at the beginning of October was the first time I ever felt a thing with anyone. Like you connected with me or something.”

“And you’ve been here since forever?”

“I’m not really sure. Possibly March?”

“And you’ve seen and hear every- oh boy!” Clarke turned as red as a tomato.

“Oh my God! No no I um, I swear I never uh, I ah, I always respected your privacy, Clarke. I didn’t see but um, I ehm, well, you’re loud. I’m sorry.”

“Fucking great!” Clarke hid her face behind her hands in full embarrassment.

“Mhmm,” Lexa cleared her throat. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Clarke. I understand you have needs.”

“Right, needs.” Clarke let out a slow breath, easing more into the bed. “I might not be out of mind because you’re really here. Who are you?”

“My name’s Lexa Woods.”

“Woah, wait a minute. You’re Lincoln’s… oh god. You’re a ghost!”

Chapter Text

Lexa was finally glad that Clarke stopped being so difficult and allowed her to speak. Considering the poor woman almost had a nervous breakdown, Lexa was happy that she finally managed to get through to the blonde.

 

“I’m not really sure what I am.” Lexa began explaining.

“According to your cousin, you had an accident and um, you uh, passed away.”

Lexa shrugged, but of course Clarke couldn’t see that. “I think so. However, I’m still here. I remember everything about myself - I was ready to begin my practice with my uncle Gustus, at his law firm. I graduated last year, and I had plans with… nevermind. I guess I’m dead.”

“Well, according to those movies, the ghosts that haunt houses are stuck in this plane because they can’t move on.” Clarke began biting her lower lip, and Lexa found the gesture endearing. “Maybe you had some leftover business, and now you can’t move on until you finish it?”

“I don’t remember having any unfinished business.”

“What about the girl from this picture, Cos?” Clarke pulled the picture from the drawer.

“No. I doubt it.” Lexa said with coldness, with a certain kind of bitter resentment.

“Not a good memory?” Clarke put the picture back inside the drawer.

“Costia broke up with me last year, near thanksgiving. Clearly not the best timing to be dumped in my opinion. Anyway, Costia had some of my books when we went our separate ways, and I went to pick them up in early March after I finally had the courage call her about them. Of course, we had an argument, and I left angry and hurt. Right after, on my way here, some asshole on the road hit me, and that’s the last thing I remember.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be.”

 

“Clarke?” Raven called.

“Hey Rae. Welcome back.” Clarke called back, suddenly panicking about what would happen if Raven saw her with a ghost in her room.

“I knew I heard you talking. I’m surprised you’re still awake.” Raven peeked through the door, checking the watch on her wrist. Clearly she couldn’t see or hear Lexa by her relaxed expression.

“I um, I was err, ahm, well I uh was...”

“Talking with Niylah.” Lexa suggested, clearly some apprehension in the way she even proposed the idea. Thinking about the coworker, who clearly had set her sights on Clarke, made Lexa frustrated.

“Talking with Niylah! We just ended the call.” Clarke faked a smile to show Raven exactly what she wanted her to believe. Nothing of importance was going on.

“Ooooh, so things are getting serious?”

“It was a work call Raven, don’t get ideas.”

Raven laughed, “Talking about work almost at midnight? Keep fooling yourself, you told me yourself you kissed!”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean anything!” Clarke rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at her friend failing miserably. “Go away, Reyes!”

“Aye aye, captain!” Raven shut the door and sing-sang, “Clarke has the hots for Niylah!”

 

“Uff! That was close.” Clarke frowned looking clearly confused. “She couldn’t see you nor hear you. Why?”

“I have no idea.”

Clarke leaned into her pillow using her hands to prop up her head deep in thought, trying to make sense of what was happening to her.

“That’s pretty weird and now the broken vase makes sense. You were there!”

 

“I’m sorry I interrupted your date with this Niylah. And uh, sorry about the vase.” Lexa would be rubbing her neck in utter embarrassment if she had a solid body. Lexa had to admit she acted irrationally when things began to heat up between the artist and her close friend. “She seems like a nice person.” Lexa said without much conviction. “You should listen to your friend and, maybe, you know.”

“You didn’t interrupt a date, Lexa. Niylah is nice just like I said to Raven and a good friend, but I’m not looking for anything serious.”

“Oh, a hook-up then? Apologies for the cockblock.” Lexa couldn’t stop the tiny smirk on her invisible lips.

“You’re not sorry for that.” Clarke stifled a yawn and stretched her arms high above her head. “I think you enjoyed scaring the shit out of me.”

“It was mildly fun seeing your pretty, but flustered face. Not the smooching part, that was um, uncomfortable to watch. Not that I would have watched if things got past first base.” Lexa added quickly with a shaky breath.

“You think I’m pretty?”

Lexa only realized now that she said Clarke was pretty.

 

“It’s getting late. You should get some sleep.” Lexa deflected like a champ.

“Yeah, it is. I guess I’ll hear you around.” Clarke laughed at her own joke, and Lexa felt that warmth again in her nonexistent chest.

“Goodnight, Clarke.”

Lexa chuckled and left Clarke’s room to give her privacy.

 

--oo--

 

When Clarke arrived home after work, she looked pretty tired, and Lexa felt guilty because Clarke lost some sleep because of her.

The blonde left her keys on the bowl at the entrance and dropped her things on the coffee table in front of the couch before she flopped in it with a sigh.

“Are you okay?”

Clarke, startled, brought her hand to her chest. “Jesus, I forgot you were here.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Clarke waved her hand. “No worries, I was distracted.”

“Apologies again, Clarke. I shouldn’t have kept you awake last night by basically forcing a conversation. You’re very alive and in need of rest.”

“Hey, Lexa. I chose to talk to you. Don’t apologize anymore. I am exhausted, but this isn’t on you. I’ve been trying to organize a thing for my boss in the gallery where I work - Mount Weather Gallery - and it’s keeping me stressed, plus I still have some important classes left this semester that I have to pass with flying colors. Don’t worry though. As soon as I’m done with this possible exhibit, things should slow down for me.”

“That’s good. Glad to know.”

Clarke looked around. “This is so weird. Talking to no one. I can hear you, but I can’t see you. It’s very bizarre.”

“Would it make you feel better if you knew where I was?”

Clarke scrunched her nose, she lifted her feet and propped them on the coffee table. “I suppose.”

“Okay, give me a minute. I’ll think of something.”

 

Lexa left Clarke on the couch and thought about what she could do to make herself visible. She eyed around the paintings in Clarke’s closet and then around the bed. “Ah, this might work!”

Lexa eyed the white sheet on the bed. “Okay, I can do this. Focus!”

When she managed to grab it, she celebrated with a big smile.

“Now let’s see if I can hold it on top.”

 

Lexa returned to the living room. “I know this looks cliché, but there wasn’t anything better.”

Clarke burst in laughter, surprising Lexa but in a good way. The blonde bent over her stomach, cackling as the floating sheet approached.

“Holy shit, you put on a white sheet?”

“Mockery is not the product of a strong mind.” Lexa sat beside Clarke, mildly annoyed.

“Sorry, but this is hilarious. Never in my life could I have imagined having my own ghost!” Clarke giggled, but now her eyes were truly focused on her. “It’s less weird now that I know where to look.”

“I think so, too.”

Clarke extended her hand towards the sheet. “May I?”

“Be my guest.”

 

Clarke touched the sheet and pushed slightly on it to where a shoulder is supposed to be if Clarke followed the shape of the sheet. Her hand clearly managed to push through the sheet. However, Lexa felt a bit of warmth where Clarke probed with her finger.

“Feels a bit cold where I touch, but there’s nothing inside. Do you feel anything?”

“No, just a sensation of warmth. I only learned to grab real objects since you arrived. It’s like being close to you has made me stronger in a way.”

“Are you like stealing my life essence or something?” Clarke perked her brow, but there was no maliciousness or fear in her question. Just mild curiosity.

“I don’t think so, Clarke. But when you do that, it kind of tingles.”

“Oh sorry!” Clarke removed her hand from the sheet. “Have you determined what we can do to find out about your unfinished business?”

“Not really. There’s nothing that comes to mind.” Lexa shrugged and noticed the way Clarke looked at the sheet. There was a strangeness, but also, it was comfortable.

“Okay, any family I could try to contact?”

 

“There’s my sister, Anya. I saw her when she came to take my things, but I don’t know how she is. I can give you her number.”

“Mmm, okay so Anya Woods. Wait, how do we do this? Like, I call your sister and tell her what? Hello Anya. I need you to come and tell me about your sister’s unfinished business in life?” Clarke mocked again.

“Obviously not. Just tell her you found some things that belong to me, and she should come and pick them up.”

“Maybe we should just visit her and tell her.”

“I haven’t been able to leave this place since I woke up in here. I tried many times.”

“Really? Interesting that you’re confined within these premises only. Is it possible it is related to the house?”

“This place is special to me. I worked hard with Lincoln, and we remodeled this house when I bought it. I wanted this to become the place where I would grow old with Co-” Lexa choked and coughed hiding her mistake. “I don’t think is this place.”

Clarke nodded. “I see.”

They both ended up quiet. The moment turned slightly awkward.

 

“Okay, let’s recap. I’ll call Anya and see if she decides to come. Then, I convince her that you’re here here.”

“Tell her I’m a ghost? She won’t believe you.”

“Now that you say it like that, it sounds really crazy. She won’t believe me.” Clarke stood up and headed to the kitchen, she pulled a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and returned to the couch.

“We need to come up with a plan so we can prove your existence to her. You know?” Clarke took a swig from the water, and Lexa became enthralled when a drop escaped her lips and ran along her neck.

Lexa was following the drop moving lower and lower, oblivious to what Clarke was saying, when suddenly she felt a little tingle on her left shoulder were Clarke clearly hit her.

“You even listening?”

“Sorry, I got distracted.”

“I was telling you if we get to know each other, it will be easy to prove to Anya that I’m not a psycho. If she trusts that you and I knew each other, then she will believe me for sure.”

“Okay, that makes sense.”

 “But we need to be way more discreet. I look like I’m talking to myself, otherwise, Raven is going to think I’m truly nuts.”

“Of course, Clarke. Let’s do this!”

 

--oo--

 

And every night, after Clarke came in from work, they spoke in the privacy of Clarke’s room.

Clarke would lay in bed with Lexa sitting on the edge or sometimes leaning on the headboard, wearing the white sheet over her head to talk about everything with Clarke.

Their lives, their interests and dreams. Or at least what Lexa had hoped for herself. Lexa had been sharing with Clarke so many things that not even Costia had the honor to hear during their 2-year relationship.

In the past few days, Lexa had become closer in a way with Clarke. She made her laugh and feel as if she were truly flesh and bone.

Being with Clarke made Lexa feel alive.

 

“Please, Clarke. That doesn’t make sense. If I was truly cursed, then Costia would want to make sure I was affected, don’t you think?” Lexa insisted, since Clarke had been ‘researching’ possible causes for her ghostly appearance.

“Then what do you suggest, Miss know it all? You’ve been ignoring my initial suggestion, so please enlighten me!” Clarke pointed to the books scattered on the bed. Some books were opened to crazy diagrams, and others showed old illustrations of what was considered witchcraft. Clarke had checked them out from the college library for her research.

“Clarke, these are myths and legends. We should first try to find a scientific explanation and not supernatural ideas.”

“Lexa, I’m speaking to a ghost in case you haven’t realized it yourself yet.” Clarke rolled her eyes, but then she smiled.

“Thank you, Clarke. That’s nice of you to remind me of my current dilemma.” Lexa removed the annoying sheet from her head, tired of wearing it, and also in frustration. “This is stupid.”

“Hey, that sheet looks good on you. Don’t get grumpy on me!” Clarke winked, and that gesture made Lexa feel as if blood rushed to her face.

“I’d share with you my hoodie, but if Raven suddenly sees an empty hoodie floating around, then we’re going to be in trouble.”

That made Lexa erupt in laughter. “Right, we don’t want to kill Raven with a heart attack.”

 

After they were quiet for several minutes, Clarke broke the silence by grabbing a magazine and pointing to a paragraph she found interesting.

“I think you need to make amends for how you were in life, Lexa. I’ve told you a thousand times, but you still fight me on this. I think it goes perfectly well with this article about forgiveness in Polis Magazine.”

“Clarke, a gossip column called Between the Sheets won’t tell you the answers for my actual problem.” Lexa kicked the corner of the bed.

“Listen! Your life was very lonely and isolated after Costia. No time for fun and games with your friends and family. You were sad and angry and decided to become of stone. If you forgive Costia and apologize to your family, I can bet my ass you’ll finally move to the beyond or heaven, whatever it is you believe in.”

“Clarke, I had responsibilities, and I’m not angry with Costia anymore.”

“Yes, but you put those responsibilities first, second and third. You never had time for your sister or your cousin, and you had an argument with your ex. That doesn’t sound like not you weren’t angry...”

 

“Clarke, we’re not going to talk about this again.”

“Lexa, why are you so damn stubborn?”

Clarke stood up from the bed getting exasperated by Lexa’s defensiveness. They had essentially the same discussion two nights ago about this topic that clearly bothered Lexa a lot.

“Who’s the stubborn here, Klark? I told you I don’t believe this has to do with my past behavior. Enough!”

“Lexa, I’m not saying you were a bitch, but let’s be honest here. You kind of were to them.”

And before Lexa could defend herself, Clarke released her onslaught of words. “You missed Thanksgiving and Christmas with your family - not to mention your sister’s birthday. You admitted that you were too busy for your cousin and aunt Indra. Maybe Costia can fuck herself, but you have to ask forgiveness from your loved ones.”

“I told you that they understood. I apologized several times, and they got it.” Lexa waved her hands all around, trying to handsplain the situation, yet Clarke was obviously missing her intent.

However, it was clear the conversation was getting heated.

 

“That sounds like a poor excuse to me. They loved you. Of course they wouldn’t get mad at you, but you hurt them with your indifference. I know that I might be jumping to conclusions here, but I swear this is what makes the most sense. You became a shell of the Lexa they loved, and so you remained here in this ghostly plain. You have a second chance to make amends!”

“Anya knows that I love her to death. I love Gustus as if he was my father, and they all knew I was doing this to be someone they could be proud of. Where is the problem in that, huh?”

“Lexa, why can’t you see it? Uuugh!” Clarke snapped. “You weren’t living. You were surviving. You missed the things that mattered the most in life because your priorities changed. I doubt your sister cared if you made it or not as a lawyer. She wanted you to be happy no matter what. After Costia left you, that’s when you became a shell of yourself. You pushed your family away.”

“I was an idiot for falling for Costia. I was a fool, but I wasn’t going to be weak anymore!” Lexa retorted.

“Did you ever opened up to Anya? Did you simply hope she wouldn’t notice you were hiding behind your law books!?”

“That’s bullshit, Clarke! First, I wasn’t hiding. Second, I realized love was weakness. I wasn’t going to let anyone walk all over me again!” Lexa growled.

“Weakness? I cannot believe this crap. You know that’s not true!” Clarke crossed her arms and huffed indignantly.

“I was better, more focused on what I had to do. I was already on my way to becoming the number one attorney at my uncle’s practice, because now I had no weakness. That cannot be the reason why I’m like this!”

“Lexa, I don’t blame you for that. I get that you wanted to overcome that pain, but never at the cost of pushing away family and friends. If they are important to me, I’ll show it to them no matter what! When I lost my dad, at least I knew he was aware of how much I loved him. Did you ever tell any of your loved ones you cared for them? That you love them?”

“I… no I didn’t.” Lexa clenched her jaw, regret and sudden anger filling her insides. “You know? It doesn’t matter anymore! Because guess what? Now I’m fucking dead!!!” Lexa growled, hitting the lamp and throwing it on the floor.

 

Lexa sighed, already repenting for her behavior. Clarke was already touching a sensitive chord with her hypothesis, because she wasn’t far from the truth. Lexa had pushed everyone away after Costia. She became isolated and focused on her work, surrounded by emotional and physical walls all the time. Lexa turned around lifting her eyes to meet Clarke and apologize. She was worried she crossed a line with the artist.

“Clarke, look. I’m sorry for-”

“I can see you.” Clarke gulped down, wide blue eyes stared back at her directly. “Wait, are you naked?”

“Ah?” Lexa frowned and looked down to where her body was supposed to be. “OH!”

“I mean, it’s not that I’m checking you out at all cos that’d be very gay- I mean disrespectful but ah, shit, I can see you!” Clarke blushed profusely still with her eyes locked on the clear green she was seeing for the first time in the flesh, or at least, what was visible.

“I can see my body, Clarke!”

Lexa could see her body shape, it was more corporeal than ever. Still translucent but with enough form that allowed her shape to be more visible to Clarke. It was like she was surrounded by a soft blue halo, but she could see herself again. Her hands with her long fingers, her chestnut shoulder-length hair tickled her upper back and shoulders. She saw her feet and long lean legs. It was her body 100%.

“Me too but um, could you try to put some clothes? You’re, wow- I mean, sorry. I’ll turn around.” Clarke shut her eyes and sat again on the bed with her back to Lexa.

 

“I don’t know if I can make some clothes appear? Wearing your clothes is risky with Raven around, Clarke. I’ll try to uh, make something.”

Lexa wasn’t sure she could, but she tried anyways. She focused on the last clothes she wore. Lexa tried to remember the texture, and the way it made her body feel. The softness of the fabric on top of her skin. She could picture the jeans jacket over her top and blue jeans she wore the last time more clearly in her mind now. Next, the boots.

Lexa felt that tingling again on her belly, and when she snapped her eyes open she was fully clothed.

“I’m decent now!”

Clarke turned around and eyed Lexa from head to toe. “I can see that. Wow. It’s kind of surreal that I can actually see you now. You’re really here!”

Lexa quirked her lips. “This is incredible.” She looked at her hands noticing the lines in her palm and the appearance of skin were even clearer.

Lexa picked up the lamp with ease, placing it back where it belonged and took a step closer to Clarke, her stance more relaxed.

 

“I’m sorry for getting angry. You were right, Clarke. I think I hurt my family with my attitude. I was like a robot, detached and simply focused in living day by day. As you said - just surviving.”

“I’m sorry too, Lex.” The nickname slipped from Clarke’s tongue, yet it felt natural coming from Clarke. “I know I kind of pushed you too hard. Look, I thought that if my dad had passed away without knowing how much I loved him, I’d regret it forever. I loved my dad so much. He was my best friend. When I lost him, my mom and I  only had each other. It was so hard, but I had to keep on living.” A single tear escaped Clarke’s eyes, and Lexa cupped her face, removing it ever so softly with her thumb, giving Clarke goosebumps.

“I’m glad you managed to let your father know how you felt. You’re a good person, and he’d be proud of the woman you’ve become.” Lexa removed her hand, missing the warmth of Clarke’s skin.

“I wonder if I could see him again. I know it’s selfish to want him back, but I miss him.”

“That’s natural, Clarke. But I assure you it’s not great being like this. I was lonely until you came along. If I’m really gone from this world, then I rather be at peace than hearing your lousy friend blow things up in my garden.”

That managed to erase Clarke’s sadness. The laughter that bubbled from Clarke was one of the best sounds Lexa ever heard.

“I think this could be the reason why you’re here, you have regrets. If you truly open up to them, I think you will finally be ready to move on.” Clarke offered a sheepish smile as a sign of peace.

 

“I thought Costia was the one. I was busy fantasizing and planning for us to make a home here, that I didn’t notice how distant we had become. When she dumped me, I felt humiliated, I didn’t want to feel that pain again of losing someone I loved, so I went into self-preservation mode and shut down. Anya always called me and offered to stay with me, but I refused her and acted like an ass. Lincoln even invited me to the Arkadia General Charity Gala this year, and I told him to stick his invitation up his ass.”

“Wait, the one this last spring?” Clarke gasped.

“Yes, but my accident was in mid-March. Why?”

“But I did!” Clarke snapped her fingers. “Don’t you see!? We could have met, Lexa! Like in real life!”

“That would've been a strange coincidence.”

“My mom works with Lincoln so of course we would have met eventually. That’s where we were introduced, and he mentioned his cousin wanted to rent this place. Which now I assume was Anya. Maybe that’s why we have this connection. It’s like all along we were meant to meet!” Clarke suddenly got excited, as if she had just found the answer to this mystery.

Lexa furrowed her brows, but what Clarke said didn’t sound so unrealistic considering what they knew about each other now. Lexa focused her stare into the deep blue eyes with flecks of grey of the blonde standing inches away from her.

“Do you think we could have gotten along back then? Like, if you met flesh and bone me back in April, knowing what you know now, could you have even liked me? The robotic, uptight, Lexa?”

Clarke was looking into the viridian eyes examining her, her eyes taking in every bit of detail of her face and lips. Clarke opened her mouth, but never had the chance to answer.

 

“Okay, Griffin,” Raven opened the door suddenly. “I’m sorry to interrupt your soliloquy, but I’m starting to worry about your mental health.”

“What? I’m fine, Raven. Nothing to worry about.” Clarke turned around to meet Raven, taking some steps away from Lexa even though Raven couldn’t see her. She showed Raven the  biggest, most confident smile she could muster.

“See? All good.”

Raven was eyeing Clarke like she was truly going insane. “Clarke, you’ve been talking to yourself all damn week.”

 

“Raven still can’t see me, Clarke.” Lexa commented. “Whatever is going on, is clearly between us.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Maybe?” Raven now eyed Clarke with serious concern.

“The cat is out of the bag, Clarke. I think it’s best if we tell Raven.” Lexa suggested, shoving her hands in her newly found jeans.

“Clarke? You’re scaring me with your weird behavior, okay? If this is a joke, it ain’t funny.”

“Look, Rae. This is going to sound very insane but um, do you remember when I told you about a voice?”

“Yeah. Last week but that was just a TV.”

“Let me introduce you someone.”

Raven laughed. “Clarke, come on. We’re days away from Halloween so you can cut whatever prank you’re planning. This shit is getting weirder.”

“It’s not. Raven, meet Lexa Woods.”

Raven scratched her head, looking at Clarke like she was deranged. “Lexa who?”

Clarke smiled and pointed to the floating sheet, standing on the side of Raven.

Raven turned around. “Okay, Clarke, Good job! This will freak out the little kids, but I’m a grown up. You can’t fool me with this stupid floating ghost sheet.” Raven grabbed the sheet pulling it and revealing no one. Raven took a step back dropping her phone on the carpeted floor out of shock.

“Ha ha, okay that was good but pretty amateurish.” Raven was about to lean down to pick up her phone when Raven saw the cellphone levitating towards her. That’s when panic settled in.

“Virgen Santísima! What the fuuuuck!!!” Raven turned around and ran out of Clarke’s room as fast as possible as her braced allowed. “I’m gonna call the cops, hell, a fucking exorcist!”

 

“Lexa, could you stop that!” Clarke scolded Lexa, before she went after Raven.

“I was being polite, Clarke.” Lexa returned Raven’s phone to Clarke.

“Could you’ve been less subtle and not make it worse?” Clarke headed to the door. “I’ll try to explain the situation to her, okay? Don’t come out yet!”

“I’ve been out since I was 17, Clarke.”

Clarke chuckled. “I’d throw this phone if I knew I could actually hit you with it. Don’t sass me, Lexa. Stay here.”

“Okay.”

“Let me fix this mess, and then we can go back to talking, cool?”

“I won’t go anywhere, Clarke.”

 Lexa really meant it.

Chapter Text

“A ghost? Ave María, I can’t still believe we have a ghost in here, Clarke.” Raven was still in partial denial, understandably nervous about a ghost. But after several days of Lexa proving she was there, such as picking up phones on demand, putting on that stupid sheet and even breaking dishes and withstanding Raven’s ‘tests’ and ‘experiments’ Raven was starting to warm up to the idea of having a ghost living with them, while Lexa’s patience was almost gone.  She felt like Raven’s new favorite toy.

 

Raven dried the last dish and put it in its place in the rack.

“I think Lexa needs to give her sister a message so she can move on. To tell her how she feels about her family.” Clarke explained, turning off the water. She dried her hands and sat on one of the stools at the kitchen counter, looking at the couch where Lexa was currently sitting watching TV.

 

“Halloween is in three days, and I bet the energy of the beyond will be to the max. I assume Lexa will be powerful enough to make contact and send her message herself to her sister. That will unleash her spirit and send her back to the realm of the dead.” Raven said with enthusiasm.

“I’m not interested in unleashing my spirit anywhere else, thank you very much, Raven.” Lexa grumbled from the couch. Crossing her arms and setting her jaw, clearly annoyed.

Clarke laughed, a small goofy smile spreading on her face. A smile that has been making a more continuous presence lately.

“Lexa, don’t be such a grumpy baby. Don’t you want to move on? Here I thought you were already fed up with us.”

“I can stand you, Clarke. Raven? Not so much.” Lexa set her jaw again making Clarke chuckle.

“The commander ain’t happy with my plan?” Raven moved to the living room and picked up some equipment from her backpack and put it in front of the coffee table. “Aaw, Lexa must be warming up to us too, and she doesn’t want to leave us anymore.”

Lexa perked her fine brow and looked at Raven. “Commander?”

“Why Commander, Reyes?” Clarke asked on behalf of Lexa.

“Hearing you describing our dear ghost Lexa, she seems pretty uptight to me. Commander sounds like it suits her bitchy personality.” Raven grinned and got back to work.

Clarke shrugged. “She makes a point, Lex.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, shaking her head and pouting. “I’m not uptight. I can’t believe this!” She didn’t deny she was becoming fond of Clarke and Raven though.

 

“We can start doing today’s test with what I borrowed from the campus lab. The infrared camera might have given us a false-positive due to you, Griffin, being all over Lexa, but this baby here will help us give us a better reading.”

“Woah, I am NOT all over Lexa, Raven. I’m the only one who can see and hear her, in case you forgot.”

“Sure, but since you friendzoned Niylah, you’ve been spending every hour with your favorite Polis ghost. That’s what I call some ghostly ‘bonding.’”

“Raven, that’s not- I- I told you I care about helping Lexa, in a friendly way. There’s nothing weird about that!” Clarke immediately moved from the counter hiding the pink of her cheeks from Lexa and Raven.

“I do wonder if Lexa’s made of some kind of subatomic particle. Neutrinos?” Raven began babbling while Lexa approached Clarke with concern.

 

“Everything okay?” Lexa asked, resting her hand on Clarke’s shoulder. The slight shiver reminded Lexa to remove her hand, yet Clarke missed the usual prickly feeling when they touched.

“Yeah.”

“Is that true? Because I don’t want to interfere in your love life, Clarke. If you like Niylah, you shouldn’t be wasting your time with me.”

“What? No, Lexa. Not at all. Raven is a dufus. There’s no romantic feelings on my side for Niylah, and I tried to be as honest as I could with her on our last date.”

“Oh, I understand. Still, you shouldn’t waste time with someone who’s not alive, Clarke. I appreciate your efforts, but Niylah is flesh and bone. She seems like she cares for you genuinely not like Costia…” Lexa sighed, “It’s not that I have feelings for my ex. Not anymore. I made my peace with that. It’s just that I wonder where I fucked up? I don’t get it. I wanted to give her the world, but she didn’t want it. Not the one I could give her.” Lexa looked at Clarke with those big green eyes, and her heart bumped hard against her ribcage. That sadness was something that Clarke wanted to erase from Lexa’s expression. Since she was able to see Lexa and finally see Lexa’s smile, Clarke had wanted to see more of it and treasure it for what it was. A gift.

“It’s not your fault, Lexa. Costia wanted different things. Her goals weren’t aligned with yours anymore.” Clarke shrugged. “It sucks, but I think it was for the best. I mean, look at you! You’re stuck with me now, Woods.”

Lexa curved her lips, and Clarke felt palpitations. She loved that shy smile of her ghost.

Not that Lexa was hers or anything like that.

“Commander? Could you stop doing whatever it is you and Griffin are doing and join me to begin this test?”

Clarke frowned, scratching her head. “How did you know Lexa was here?” Clarke didn’t think she was loud.

“Griff, I just have to see your dumb as fuck smile to know she’s right there. Now move your ghostly ass, Lexa. Science does not wait!”

 

Raven set the camera in a tripod and set several cables, attaching them to the main machine and moved to her laptop, pressing keys at a fast pace.

Clarke rolled her eyes, but joined her friend as she observed Lexa take her position.

“She’s ready.” Clarke announced.

“Okay, let’s see.” Raven pressed enter, and the camera began taking detailed images. “For Lexa to be a real ghost she would have to oppose the second law of thermodynamics, but these readings are simply showing me slight changes in temperature and increasing entropy. Nothing detailed to prove there is an actual ghost. I think that whether this might be proof  of residual energy is not something I can truly test scientifically.” Raven explained after reading her laptop for several minutes.

Clarke deflated, “so it’s all up to how I can truly convince Anya that her sister is really here.”
“Yup, basically. These machines aren’t enough evidence that she is real. Having Lexa move things around might be a way to do it. Like using Ouija to tell Anya!’”

“I’m not doing that!” Lexa protested immediately. “No way in hell I’m touching any Ouija board. I can try to type a message for Anya to read instead.”

“Oh well, guess that’s the next step.” Clarke concluded.

 

--oo--

 

Clarke barely made it to the Mount Weather Gallery on time after her morning classes. She ran to her desk and dropped her backpack, immediately opening emails to check of people responding to her messages about the Gallery.

She was emailing with some potential buyers when her phone bleeped.

She checked the screen noticing it was Raven sending her a text.

RavenRey (2:12pm) Hello Clarke

Clarke frowned, because Raven has never been this formal with her. She’d expect a ‘sup Griffin instead.

Griffster (2:15pm) what’s up with you Raven? did you start the Halloween decorations??

RavenRey (2:17pm) Hi Clarke. This is Lexa. Raven allowed me to practice with her phone to show Anya.

“Pfft, no way.” Clarke typed her reply.

Griffster (2:18pm) Lex? that’s awesome! wait, so where’s Raven?

RavenRey (2:19pm) Decorating for Halloween. I tried to carve a pumpkin but it drained me a lot so now I’m supervising :)

Clarke giggled because Lexa used an emoji. She didn’t think she would be an emoji girl.

Griffster (2:20pm)  I’m glad XD

Griffster (2:21pm) Your sister said she’d be by tonight to pick up your picture. You ready?

RavenRey (2:23pm) I guess. Just hope it works.

 

KNOCK KNOCK

 

Clarke checked the door and noticed Niylah.

“Hey Clarke, did you get a response yet for the exhibit?” The taller blonde asked.

“Ah, I’ll check right away.”

“Sure, let me know when you get a reply.” Niylah waved and left Clarke alone.

“Back to work.” Clarke typed one more message to Lexa.

Griffster (2:24pm) Lex, g2g see you home xx

RavenRey (2:24pm) ok, see you soon

 

Clarke stashed her phone away, feeling as happy as she has ever been. Lexa, in the almost month they had get to known each other, had become an integral part of her life. There was not a day that she didn’t hurry to get home to see the ghostly woman, even though being near Lexa was cold for her, but warmth in the case of Lexa. It was something that made her excited to learn more about the paranormal presence in her house.

Lexa had become not just a companion but a wonderful friend, who happened to be very attractive. No denying that.

There was nothing Clarke wouldn’t do to try to help Lexa find her way to freedom. However, Clarke also had to admit that there was an underlying fear of never seeing Lexa again.

“Okay, let’s not!” Clarke scolded herself. Thinking that way made her sad really fast.

Clarke skimmed through several messages until she found the one she had been waiting for.

 

“Oh thank God!” Clarke quickly printed the page. Once the paper came out of the printer, she walked towards the next area of offices where she would find Niylah.

“Niylah, I have great news. The exhibit is a go!”

Niylah lifted her gaze to meet Clarke’s. She reached for the paper that Clarke handed her and read it, nodding her head as she smiled.

“Congratulations Clarke! You did a great job. I’ll let Mr. Wallace know of your efforts.”

“Thanks Niylah!” Clarke was heading back to her office when Niylah called for her once more.

“Clarke, could you wait a second?”

Clarke tilted her head not sure what else was needed from her.

Niylah stood up, she got closer to Clarke and leaned on her desk, sitting on the edge. “Whatever it is your doing suits you. I like to see you smiling and happy.”

“Niylah, I-”

Niyla lifted her hand. “Wait. I’m not trying to flirt or win you back. I accepted you just want to be my friend, but I couldn’t help noticing that you seem more relaxed. You have always a genuine smile, and that makes me glad. Anyway, great work!” Niylah returned to her desk, and Clarke chewed her lip as she walked back to her cubicle.


Was her happiness really noticeable to everyone? Because she didn’t think it would be as obvious that she was having such a great time living with not just Raven, but with Lexa as well.

 

--oo--

 

“Lexa, stop pacing.” Clarke said for the Nth time that night. “Everything is going to go well.” Clarke tried to reassure Lexa.

She was sitting beside Raven in the living room, watching a movie while they waited for Lexa’s sister to come pick up the picture. A half empty pizza box rested on the coffee table along with empty cans of Coke. Even though Lexa was the one pacing, the duo and ghostly presence anxiously waited for Anya’s arrival.

“Sorry.” Lexa moved to the couch and sat beside Clarke. “I’m just worried.”

Clarke tried to offer a confident smile, resting her hand on Lexa’s thigh. The coldness seeped through her fingers, but by now Clarke didn’t mind at all.

“We’ll show her it’s you, and you’ll be honest with her. We’ll free you once and for all.” Clarke gave Lexa a squeeze to comfort her.

“Yo, Commander. If this doesn’t work we also got plan B. Don’t fret!” Raven said noticing the stress of her friend due to Lexa.

Lexa nodded, and leaned back a little further on the couch. Trying to ease her nerves, she reached for Clarke’s hand and laced her fingers with hers.

 

DING DONG!

 

“OH GOD!” Clarke stood up as fast as her legs allowed looking at the front door.

Lexa was right behind Clarke. “I’ll check.”

“No, you stay right here, Lexa. Reyes, get the laptop!” Clarke instructed while hurrying to the front door.

She gulped down and wiped the sweat formed in the palms of her hands. Taking deep breaths, she finally opened the door.

“Hello. Anya right?” Clarke asked the tall dirty blonde woman outside. Clarke saw that her hazel eyes were guarded, her stance defensive and careful.

“Yes, Anya Woods. Clarke, right? You say you have something from my sister?”

“Yes, please come in.” Clarke stepped back to allow Anya inside the house. “I’ll look for it, but please sit.” Clarke guided Anya to the living room.

 

“Here is the lap- Oh hi.” Raven left the computer on the table. “Well well well, it is finally a pleasure to meet the sister.” Raven eyed the woman from head to toe, offering her hand right away. “Raven Reyes, at your service.”

“What do you mean, finally?” Anya shook her hand with apprehension.

“Eeeh… Lincoln mentioned you” Raven replied looking sheepishly, knowing that she slipped a bit.

Clarke threw daggers at Raven, but kept smiling. She observed Lexa, who was looking at her sister with longing.

 

“It’s been a while since I last saw her.” Lexa said. “I missed her.”

“We’ll fix this.” Clarke said softly. “Raven can you um, get Anya something to drink?”

“No, thank you. Just bring the item, please.” Anya wasn’t clearly comfortable in this place. Memories were probably engulfing her in sadness.

“Well, I’ll get the pic.” Clarke went to the bedroom and took the old Lexa and Costia picture. She handed it to Anya once she returned to the tense living room.

“I found this stuck in the bed and uh, I thought it was better for you to have it.”

Anya grabbed the picture looking at it with a mixture of feelings: happiness, sadness, disappointment.

“Thanks. This was an old trip. I took the picture.” Anya sighed.

“To the beach with Costia, yeah, Lexa told me.” Clarke added as natural as if it was a daily occurrence to know information about a private moment in Lexa’s life.

That got the attention of Anya, who looked back at Clarke frowning.

“I uh, I’m a friend. Lexa and I, we uh, we’re friends.” That’s all Clarke could babble without sounding too weird.

Perking her brow, Anya stashed the picture in her shirt pocket. “Friends? Why I never heard of you until now?”

Clarke eyed Lexa then at Anya. “Because it was something new, I suppose? Lexa finished her degree and uh, we ah, we met in a coffee shop? Yes! A coffee shop. I know how much you mean to her so I decided to return this picture to you.”

Narrowing her eyes, Anya became even more suspicious.

 

“Clarke, this isn’t going well. Anya doesn’t trust people, and you clearly are untrustworthy at the moment.” Lexa crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking between Clarke and her sister.

“I know.” Clarke replied.

Clarke cleared her throat because answering to Lexa was second nature to her by now. “I mean, I know that you don’t trust me, Anya. I am Lexa’s friend, and because I care for her I want to tell you something.”

“What is that?” Anya was clearly starting to get tired of Clarke’s erratic behavior.

“Lexa is... Okay. I know this is hard for you after losing your sister, but she loves you very much, and she’s sorry for being an ass all this time. Lexa is very sorry for hurting you and Lincoln. She wants you to know that she is thankful for Gustus and Indra too. Basically each one of you.” Clarke began to ramble, getting everything out.

Anya took a step forward, clearly taking everything with skepticism and acted more aggressively towards Clarke, pulling her from the neck of her shirt. “How the fuck do you know what my sister thinks, huh? Who the hell are you? Why do you know about me and my family?”

“Anya! Don’t touch her!” Lexa growled and tried to pry Anya’s arm away from Clarke, but she couldn’t even touch her.

“ANYA!” Lexa tried harder and at that the lights started to blink on and off. The temperature dropped a bit by the sudden puffs of condensation Clarke began to release. “LET. HER. GO!”

“Lexa, don’t!” Clarke choked.

“Because Lexa is here, cheekbones!” Raven grabbed the laptop and opened it on top of the coffee table. “Here. Ask Lexa anything, and she'll reply using this.” Raven said before Anya beat Clarke to a pulp, and Lexa vanished from the effort.

 

Anya’s eyes were wide as saucers, her finger pointing at Clarke then back at Raven “You two are fucking insane! What kind of disgusting prank is this!?” Anya began going after Raven now.

“Woah, wait a minute!” Raven raised her hands. “I know how crazy it sounds, but I need you to come and see for yourself. Lexa, come on your sister is going to fuck us up! Which I wouldn’t mind because she’s hot! AH SHIT!”

“I’m fine, Lex. Go help Raven please.” Clarke said taking deep breaths.

“This is a disaster!” Lexa face-palmed, feeling exhausted already from her previous effort.

“Lexa, plan B!” Raven shouted moving away from an extremely angry Anya. “She’s going to kick my ass for reals!!!”

“Okay, fine!” Lexa went after Anya and with her full focus managed to pull the picture from her pocket.

 

“Anya, look!” Clarke pointed to the picture held by Lexa.

To the other two women it must look like it’s floating.

Anya stopped before she smashed Raven’s head into the garbage bin and froze.

“Here, this is way better.” Lexa tore the picture in half. Letting the Costia half fall into the floor and handed Anya back her picture.

“What the-” Anya grabbed the Lexa picture. “This isn’t possible.”

“I know it is nuts, but Lexa is really here.” Clarke approached slowly, carefully.

 

Raven turned the computer so Anya could see the screen. Opening a blank doc she left it ready. “Alright, Commander. Now type.”

Lexa approached the coffee table, kneeling on the floor to be able to reach the keyboard.

“Hey An. It’s me, Lexa. Sorry for throwing this on you like this. Clarke and Raven are trying to help me move on.” Lexa said as she typed.

Anya shook her head. “No way.”

“Anya, I’m sorry for how I behaved with you. You were there for me, and I just pushed you away.” Lexa continued typing. “You’re my family, and I’ll always have your back.”

Anya was mute, looking blankly at the screen with the message.

Clarke tried to approach, and rested her hand on Anya’s forearm to bring her out of her stupor.

“I know how strange this is, but I can see her. Since we moved in, I made a connection with Lexa, and now she’s ready to let go. That’s all we wanted to do. To help her move on beyond.”

Anya turned and looked at Clarke. “My sister ain’t dead!”

 

“Huh?” Raven frowned.

“What?” Clarke said in unison.

“What!?” Lexa joined her.

 

--oo--

 

Clarke couldn’t believe what her eyes were seeing. Right on the bed was a very sleepy and unconscious Lexa.

This Lexa was flesh and blood, with pale skin, resting peacefully, breathing in and out in a steady rhythm. The machines connected to her arms beeping in the otherwise silent room.

Her chestnut brown curly hair was held in a french braid, keeping her face free. Her plump lips looked slightly cracked, but she looked as beautiful as ever. Ethereal, like a larger than life presence, making her heart constrict seeing Lexa like this.

 

“She has been in coma for months. After the inflammation of her brain decreased, the doctors said that should wake up, but she hasn’t. We haven’t gotten an explanation as to why.” Anya said from the doorframe where she leaned. “Her vitals were stable so I brought her home with me to make her more comfortable.”

“Ah so that’s why Lincoln said she was in a better place. Meaning your home and not the hospital.” Clarke finally made sense of everything.

“So you say you met her spirit when you moved into her house?” Anya asked.

“I did. At first it was truly hard to tell, but as the weeks passed she became strong enough for me to be able to see her.”

Clarke explained in detail everything that she lived in the past weeks since she moved into Polis. Anya listened attentively without interrupting, only nodding from time to time.

“We believed that by opening up to you she was supposed to move on. In this case return to her body but well…” Clarke reached for Lexa’s hand and felt how cold it was, making her chuckle. No wonder Lexa was so cold. She adjusted the blankets over her body and took a step back.

“No change.” Anya said.

 

“I promise you. We’re going to find a way to make her return, and do whatever it takes for her to wake up.” Clarke sworn she’d do anything to help Lexa, and that’s what she was going to do.

“Excuse me,” Indra interrupted as Lexa’s aunt and Lincoln’s mother came inside the room. The black woman had been taking care of Lexa since they brought her to Anya’s home. “I have to administer Lexa her new fluids.”

“Of course,” Clarke leaned in and left a kiss on Lexa’s forehead. “I’ll bring you back, sleepy head.” She whispered hoping Lexa would hear her.

 

Anya and Clarke moved to the living room where Raven was waiting with her laptop, testing the cameras to check on Lexa’s cold spots.

“She’s on the TV brooding like usual.” Raven pointed to the couch where there was a difference in temperature.

“No changes in the house environment?” Clarke asked.

“Nope, so I’m assuming that wasn’t what she had to do, Clarke. She’s still there.”

“I cannot believe this is happening.” Anya flopped on the sofa near the two friends.

“Yeah, tell me about it. I thought Clarke here was going insane.” Raven bumped Clarke with her shoulder making her friend laugh.

“I think we should go back. Lexa must be feeling alone, since she can’t leave the house.” Clarke suggested.

“Tomorrow is Halloween. I think that’s the perfect time to cheer her up?” Raven shut her laptop and put it inside her messenger bag. “I mean, she can wear her stupid ghost sheet all she wants, and no one would notice.”

“Yeah, I think Lexa deserves to have some real fun. You’re invited too, Anya. I know that this doesn’t sound great knowing your sister is there on that bed, but I assure you her soul needs the most support right now.”

“A halloween party with the wandering soul of my sister?” Anya said, pensive.

“Come on, cheekbones. Don’t tell me you’re as uptight as her.” Raven teased.

“I’m not uptight!” Anya pouted. Clarke laughed because it mirrors Lexa’s pout. Must be a family trait.

“For a night I think we can all try to forget about our problems and just live, don’t you think?”

Chapter Text

“Clarke, I don’t think this is a good idea.” Lexa complained again, watching Clarke cut the sheet, then add fabric designed to look the like fake eyes.

“Lex, tonight is supposed to be fun. It’s Halloween!” Clarke held the sheet at a distance to check her work. “No one is going to get suspicious.  Everyone will be in costumes.”

Lexa sighed and sat on the bed. “I don’t want to ruin your party, Clarke. I’ll stay here out of sight.”

Clarke immediately took Lexa’s hand in hers. “None of that, Lexa. I know that you’re sad things didn’t work out, but you’re alive. I promise you that I won’t stop until we find a way to send your soul back to your body. For now, we have tonight, and we’ll have fun. Your sister is coming so don’t be a grumpy ghost and help me test your official ghost costume!”

 

Lexa hesitantly stood up and allowed Clarke to throw the sheet on top of her. Clarke adjusted the sheet and made sure the eye holes were in their right place.

“There, look at you!”

Lexa turned towards the mirror and looked at herself.

The sheet had a red tie painted on the front and on the face, Clarke painted a mouth. It looked silly to Lexa, but after seeing the smile on Clarke’s face, Lexa wouldn't mind wearing this ridiculous thing all night long.

“It’s fine, Clarke.”

“You look fierce!” Clarke patted her shoulder. “No one is going to blink an eye when they look at you tonight.”

 

“Hello, hello!” Raven interrupted the costume testing, coming inside Clarke’s bedroom. “That is perfect!”

“Are you serious?” Lexa eyed Raven head to toe, checking her outfit. The brown jumpsuit molding to her figure perfectly and wearing the classic backpack.

“Yeah, we are.” Clarke answered for Raven.

“What? She didn’t like the theme?” Raven grabbed her gun pointing it at Lexa and began making buzzing sounds.

“Okay stop that, Reyes.” Clarke pushed the gun away from Lexa’s face. “You look like the ultimate ghostbuster with those ecto goggles. Now finish the decorations before our friends start to arrive.”

“You got that right, Griffin. I look badass!” Raven before she left added, “You look great, Lexa. Perfect marshmallow chick!”

Lexa rolled her eyes and sat again on the bed. “This is going to be a long night.”

 

--oo--

 

Music filled the house with its beat and drops. Lexa had never seen her house decorated like this for any festivity or with this many people. Clarke and Raven invited their Arkadia friends.

Lexa recognized the two men that helped Clarke move to the house. She also noticed others that she didn’t know until Clarke introduced her.

 

Jasper wanted to get Lexa drunk right away with his weird concoction, but Clarke basically told him and Monty that she was off-limits, so Jasper’s stupid plan, whatever it was, was shutdown immediately.  Clark introduced Harper - Monty’s fiancé, and Monroe. Luckily for Lexa, no one stayed long after introductions, since Clarke made sure to tell everybody that Lexa was introverted and too shy to talk to new people.

Octavia on the other hand, was talking nonstop about her cousin Lincoln. Once Clarke told Octavia the connection between Lexa and Lincoln, the girl wouldn’t stop gushing about how handsome and sexy Lincoln was, who happen to tend to Octavia after she suffered an accident in the gym where she met him the first time.

All Lexa could do was nod and give Octavia a thumbs up with the fluffy gloves Clarke used to compliment her outfit.

Lexa was grateful for Raven when she pulled Octavia away, and Lexa managed to take a break from the madness.

 

Lexa decided to sit in the most peaceful area of the living room and observe. She noticed how Bellamy poured drinks into the red cup for Echo - his girlfriend, keeping heart eyes as Raven teased him while doing so. Lexa had to wonder if she ever developed those heart eyes for Costia. Lexa loved Costia but now that she thought about it, her love wasn’t as grand as one would imagine. It was a love that had been significant, yes. But after she broke her heart and with passage of time, Lexa could objectively view her past relationship and acknowledge that they were on separate paths to the future. And now, her heart has healed enough that it was more than ready to welcome a new inhabitant. - if she ever returned to her body.

On the other side of the room, Lexa observed the fierce latina. Raven was happy to answer the front door and spook the kids that came to trick or treat. Raven was sassy, loud but clearly a strong and amazing woman. Her disability never stopped Raven from giving her best, not even on her worst days. Lexa definitely respected her, mostly when she handled her neighbor Titus.

“Look, dude,” Raven had said. “We are having a Halloween party, and your acrid personality won’t ruin it. However, I can compromise.  The party will end at midnight. That okay, Titus?”

Titus huffed, nodding and then left. That was one hell of a victory for Raven.

 

A minute later, the doorbell rang, but this time it was Clarke who ran to open it. She had assumed it was Anya, but to Lexa’s annoyance it was actually Niylah, who was dressed like a nurse. A very sexy nurse by the way Clarke’s eyes roamed her body briefly.

Lexa chewed her lip, fisting her hands in frustration. She disliked that woman for no reason at all.

After Clarke welcomed her, she invited Niylah inside and approached her.

 

“Hey Lex, are you having fun?” Clarke asked with a concerned smile.

Lexa nodded. “Don’t worry, Clarke. It’s not bad.”

“Niylah, meet my friend Lexa. Lexa, this is as you might remember, Niylah.” Clarke introduced the two women.

“Nice meeting you.” Niylah extended her hand and Lexa shook hers briefly, hoping Niylah wouldn’t squeeze her glove and realize it was actually empty. “I don’t remember you. Have we met?”

“Oh yeah, I totally blocked you from getting lots of orgasms.” Lexa replied with a smug smile that earned her a glare from Clarke.

Lexa shook her head in response.

“Lexa is my other roommate, and we ah, woke her up when we broke the vase that other day.”

“Ah, I see. Sorry about that, Lexa.” Niylah tried to hide the pink of her cheeks remembering what that night entailed.

“Lexa doesn’t like parties much, but she did it for me. She’s amazing, right?” Clarke said proudly, beaming in excitement to have Lexa among the living. If Lexa had a heart in her chest, it would be beating out of her ribcage.

“If you say so.” Niylah replied with her brown eyes clearly analyzing Lexa and Clarke noticing the way Clarke seemed smitten with the woman dressed as a ghost.

“Let me introduce you to my other friends.” Clarke pulled Niylah into the kitchen area leaving Lexa alone.

 

Friends, it was good to be considered a friend of Clarke, Lexa thought. Yet, she knew she wanted to be much more to Clarke, but couldn’t. No point denying it.

Lexa kept her eyes on Clarke, watching her laugh at a dumb joke Bellamy told. Next, she saw an emboldened Clarke try out the newest batch of Monty’s and Jasper’s booze, expertly swallowing the beverage. The crowd cheers loud for Clarke, standing tall and with an empty cup in hand versus Harper, who had to excuse herself to puke her life out.

 

It was interesting to see Clarke with other people at a party. This was another side of Clarke that Lexa wasn’t privy to. But Lexa at least had the honor to know the passionate artist and the concerned friend. Friends was a good term for them. At least for now.

 

Thinking of friends. If there was one friend that Lexa wasn’t fond of, it was definitely Niylah. Lexa disliked how close Niylah was standing by Clarke. Gathering her courage, she headed towards Clarke and friends.

 

“Clarke? Would you dance with me?” Lexa asked, extending her arm, palm up in invitation.

Clarke took a step forward accepting Lexa’s hand. “Of course!”

Lexa would have raised a fist in the air in celebration, but for now, she internally fist bumped herself.

The situation was that Lexa wasn’t good at all, but she tried to keep up with Clarke who danced so freely, swaying her hips rhythmically.  Lexa was mesmerized.

Of course, the other friends soon joined Lexa and Clarke in the small area for dancing, and the party was on full blast.

The music was upbeat, and clearly some people were already starting to lack balance by the dangerous bumps Monroe was giving around. Lexa was concerned someone was going to crash into her and fall through.

Lexa was smiling, enjoying this happiness that she always pushed away. She was feeling that all her self-preservation robbed her of moments like this in the past. Lexa was understanding that she didn’t have to be this broody person that pushed everyone away.

“Watch out!” Clarke put herself between Jasper and Lexa before he smashed into the ghostly brunette. “Uff, that was close.”

“I guess I better return to my place. Thanks for the dance, Clarke.” Lexa thanked Clarke and returned to her seat to observe people for the rest of the night.

 

--oo--

 

As the party progressed, things were slowing down. Most of the guests started to play drinking games in the backyard, and the living room was less crowded. The waning crowd inside provided Lexa some relief. She was still scared someone was going to realize her situation, but as far as things went, everyone was clearly entertained, including Clarke. The artist was back again chatting with Niylah, at a respectful distance but still, it made Lexa’s stomach churn. Niylah was clearly funny by how Clarke giggled senseless, definitely taller and had some appeal. Lexa was a spectral being for starters, so she couldn’t even dare to try to compete in the same league as Clarke’s co-worker.

 

“Alright, Commander. The sheet gives you away.” Raven plopped down on the couch near Lexa removing her attention from Clarke. Raven took a swig of the contents of the red cup she was nursing.

Lexa tilted her head shrugging. “What are you talking about, Raven?”

“Yeah, I can read your body language, Lexa. You’re clearly thirsting for Clarke. You’ve been following her every move. I don’t blame you. Clarke is hot as fuck. My girl is amazing, right?” Raven sipped again.

“That she is.” Lexa answered, forgetting Raven couldn’t hear her. Once she realized it, she nodded enthusiastically.

Raven laughed, “okay, commander.” Resting her hand softly over the fabric of what Raven assumed was Lexa’s shoulder she said closely. “You’re not as indifferent as you think you are to Clarke.”

 

DING DONG!

 

“Whoops, door! I’ll get it.” Raven quickly stood up getting ready to splash some kids with the green slime she prepared as soon as she heard again the doorbell. “Hold on, kiddos. Ghostbuster Raven incoming!”

Raven opened the door, yet didn’t threw the slime. She was stuck in place

“Ay mamacita! Err, yooo Clarke. Eldest Woods is here!” Raven shouted, while moving away from the door and letting Anya take a step inside. “Damn, I was expecting a cool costume.” Raven gave a soft whistle, “but those pants look really nice on you.”

“Thanks for the invite.” Anya said seriously as she removed her jacket and hung it on the nearby perch.

“Anya, welcome! Lexa is right there.” Clarke pointed to where Lexa was sitting as she approached to greet the older sister.

Lexa decided a wave was more than appropriate.

“You managed to dress Lexa as a ghost?” Anya widened her smile, her hazel eyes sparkling with mischief. “Never in a million years would I had thought I’d see this. Lexa always rejected my invitations to party but look at her now! That ridiculous dress is hilarious!!!”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Not funny!”

“You look beautiful, Lexa.” Clarke quickly said. Sitting back on the couch to join Lexa and her sister.

“I’m a ghost, Clarke. Not sure how beautiful this can be.” Lexa shrugged.

Clarke chuckled, clearly feeling the effects of the alcohol by the slight slur of her words. “You’re beautiful to me.”

Okay, now Lexa was probably blushing in her spectral form.

 

“I’d tell you two to get a room, but um, that’d be very weird.” Raven burst in laughter at her terrible comment which earned her a glare from Anya. “Okay, gotcha. I’ll get you something to drink.” Raven quickly vanished away.

“Can I…” Anya raised her hand.

“Just don’t push it much cos otherwise everyone will realize this has been technically floating.” Clarke explained.

Anya nodded and reached to touch Lexa. Her hand pushed the sheet finding nothing to resist it. “Wow, I swear if I wasn’t here, I wouldn’t believe this.”

“Trust me, I swore I was crazy the first few times I heard Lexa.”

“But why can you see and hear her? No one else does.” Anya asked the same question that Lexa had since day one.

“I don’t know. It’s maybe some weird soul connection we might have developed. Or maybe I’m the first one who managed to connect with Lexa. The truth is I don’t know, but I’ll do anything I can to help her, Anya.”

“It’s crazy, but you're really here, Lexa. It’s you.”

Lexa nodded. “I missed you too, Anya.”

 

After that Lexa spoke with Anya with Clarke as an interpreter. Raven was now more quiet, simply tending the door when little kids came and observing Anya with a love stricken smile on her face. Raven snapped some cool pictures with Clarke and the Woods sisters when she shut the door.  She loved seeing them immersed in conversation and decided this would be a cool memento.

As the clock on the wall hit midnight, Raven began calling her friends to leave the place since she gave her word to baldie next door.

Once most of the friends departed, it made the night more enjoyable for Lexa since it allowed her to fully lower her guard.

Of course, as soon as Niylah left, Lexa felt more relaxed. However, she didn’t like that hug Niylah gave Clarke that lasted too long for her taste.

 

“I have to go, Lexa.” Anya brought Lexa back from giving the death glare to Niylah who was on her way out. “I hope you can find your way back. The family misses you very much.”

“Yeah, I know.” Lexa gave a firm nod.

“I’ll be waiting for you to wake the fuck up, okay? Don’t take too long.” Anya stood up and said her goodbyes to Raven and then Clarke.

Raven stifled a yawn, rubbing her face to remove the tiredness. “Uff, what a night. Gonna start cleaning.”

“Alright. Come on Lexa. Now that everyone’s gone we can continue our dance without interruptions.” Clarke extended her hand invitingly.

 

Lexa finally removed the stupid sheet and took Clarke’s hands.

“Hope you’re not too cold.” Lexa said as she rested her hands on Clarke’s hips and they began swaying to the music softly.

“The cold never bothered me.” Clarke smiled waiting for Lexa’s reaction.

Lexa creased her brows, tilting her head slightly confused.

“Lexa, come on! Frozen?”

“Never watched.” Lexa shrugged nonchalantly and continued to sway, feeling the warmth spreading through her body more strongly.

“Guess, we’re going to have a new animation marathon with you.” Clarke pressed herself closer, leaving no space between their bodies.

“I, ah, I want to thank you for this.” Lexa began. “As Anya said, I refused all invitations to spend time with family and friends. All I did was remain in these four walls by myself.”

Clarke nodded, waiting for Lexa to finish.

“I truly had fun today. I can’t remember the last time I just let myself enjoy something. You were right, Clarke. Life is more than just surviving, and I wish I had learned this when I was awake.”

Clarke lifted her gaze and cupped Lexa’s face. Her blue eyes locked with Lexa’s green. “You learned it now. You are so full of love, Lexa. I know that heart of yours is ready now to open up and be happy. You might have been stubborn and denied yourself another chance, but now seize this opportunity and live. Take risks and go for it!”

“Take risks?” Lexa mumbled as her eyes followed the pattern of Clarke’s nose into her lips, then back at the blue eyes that were staring at her.

Lexa hoped she read the cues right, if the bigger pupils in Clarke’s eyes were any indication. Otherwise, this was going to be a huge mistake that could jeopardize her friendship with Clarke.

 

Lexa leaned in and rested her lips over Clarke’s warmer ones. She shut her eyes and let that spark between them ignite. Clarke was stupefied by the sudden move, her lack of reaction sent Lexa into panic, and she pulled back.

She gulped down her nerves and looked back at Clarke.

“Oh God. Clarke I thought- I’m sorry. I made a big mist-”

Clarke didn’t let her finish, and this time she pressed her lips into Lexa’s lips. Lexa began to feel warmer, like heat was starting to slowly fill her body. She responded eagerly to the kiss that was like a huge explosion went through her eyelids. The taste of Clarke’s dark chocolate and cherry chapstick was something that she clearly could taste.

Everything felt just right. It was a great kiss. An unforgettable one for sure.

 

“I might be slightly drunk, Clarke but um, what are you… wait. Are you and… ooooooh you’re getting it on with Lexa. That’s great! Looks totally weird seeing you shove down your tongue into nothing!”

“Way to kill the mood, Reyes.” Clarke quickly moved away from Lexa, her cheeks a deep red. “Just stop looking at me like that, no big deal.”

“Kissing a ghost not a big deal?” Raven dropped the large trash bag into the garbage bin in the kitchen after picking everything up from the backyard. “You’re gonna get handsy with the ghost commander? Because that’s kinky!”

“Clarke?” Lexa called, her voice a small croak.

“See? Don’t embarrass Lexa, Raven.” Clarke turned around and that’s when she saw the state in which Lexa was.

“Lex? What’s wrong?”

Lexa was bending in clear pain. Squeezing her eyelids tight to hold the sudden hurt in her spectral body. “I- I don’t know.”

Clarke quickly went to check on Lexa. She rested her hand on her back and helped her to get her towards the couch.

“What is it? Lexa, please talk to me.”

“It hurts. Everything hurts, Clarke.”

 

“What’s going on?” Raven asked, moving towards her friend to help in any way she could.

“Lexa is- she looks like she’s fading. She’s in pain!” Clarke cried, deeply worried for Lexa.

Lexa looked at her hands, that where blinking in and out of existence. Then she raised her gaze to see the blonde.

“Don’t be afraid, Clarke. Death is not the end.”

“No! You're not dying!” Clarke tried to keep ahold of Lexa, but now it was impossible.  “Stay with me. Don’t you dare to leave!”

Lexa was slowly disappearing, as if a vortex was sucking her essence away into oblivion. But all Lexa cared about right now was for Clarke to stop crying, that was very painful to watch. It was like a dagger was tearing her soul in half.  The pain from Clarke’s tears far outweighed the physical pain of whatever Lexa was experiencing.

“I’ll always be with you, Clarke. You’re the one that made me realize how wrong I was. You gave me a second chance, and I’ll always be thankful for that gift.”

Clarke shook her head, tears running down her face.

“Don’t cry, Clarke.” Lexa tried to reach for Clarke, her fingertips barely connecting with the soft flesh of Clarke’s cheekbone. “I’ll find my way back to you. My soul knows you.”

“Lexa, please. I want you!”

Lexa curved her lips happy to hear those words, losing herself in the ocean blue of Clarke’s eyes before she vanished completely, once more engulfed by darkness.

 

--oo--

 

There was an annoying beeping sound, Lexa felt her body was numb, but slowly she began to move her toes and fingers, making blood flow faster in her lethargic body.

She tried to peel her eyes open, but it was hard to do. The few things she could distinguish was a roof over her head and a night stand to her left. Her hands were attached to several cables, and she tried to move, but it hurt to do so.

 

She tried to blink away the sleepiness slowly, when she heard a voice.

“OH MY GOD! Yes, she’s waking up, Clarke!”

Lexa furrowed her brows, the pitch was too bothersome for her hearing at the moment.

“Lexa? You’re okay. You’re in my place. You’re safe here.” Anya quickly reassured Lexa. “Clarke? Better come tomorrow after Dr. Nyko checks my sister. Yeah, I’ll keep you posted. Bye.”

Lexa licked her cracked lips and took a deep breath before trying to find the source of that familiar voice.

She focused her eyesight and finally an image began to appear. Almond eyes and a regal nose were looking at her.

“An?” Lexa spoke making a barely coherent sound. Her throat was as dry as a desert, as if she hadn’t spoken in months. She coughed, which rattled her a bit.

“Yes, it’s me Lexa. It’s me.” Anya took her hand in hers, the slight pressure felt comforting. “Wait, let me bring you water.”

 

Anya disappeared for a minute, and when she returned, she put a straw in her mouth and Lexa sucked the liquid slowly.

“Better?” Anya asked before removing the cup.

Lexa nodded licking her lips once more.

“What…” Lexa swallowed down, it was so hard to speak right now. “What happened?” Lexa closed her eyes and tried to remember. “Wait…”

“The car. I was driving after Costia’s and then... I don’t know.”

“Yeah, you had a terrible accident, Lex. You’ve been in coma for months but you’re awake! Thank goodness!” Anya was beaming, tears of happiness filled her face. Relief and so much love poured out of her. “Dr. Nyko is on his way to check on you, but I am so happy to have you back, little sis.”

“I feel tired.” Lexa managed to say.

“It’s okay.” Anya began running her fingers softly over her head. “It’s pretty late, but I already notified Linc too, and he’ll come tomorrow to see you.”

“Okay.” Lexa closed her eyes for a moment, waiting for her doctor to arrive and check on her health status.

Her mind was so foggy right now, and she couldn’t remember much of anything at the moment.

 

--oo--

 

“I said let me through!” Someone very angry shouted from outside.

“And I told you, let my niece rest!”

“Indra, it’s okay!” Anya heard the commotion leaving Lexa for a minute. “Let Clarke come in.”

“Lex?” A blonde came inside the bedroom. Her eyes were slightly red, as if she had been crying. “How is she?”

“The doctor checked on her last night and found Lexa in good health. He ordered we should start with a liquid diet for the first week and then transition slowly to solid food.  She needs to gain some weight.  Later, she will start full mobility exercises. Her reflexes were good. But still, he will send her for a MRI after Lexa gets stronger.” Anya explained to the strange blonde. “However, she doesn’t recall anything after her accident.”

The face of the blonde contorted in one of pain, biting her lower lips the blonde shook her head and began sobbing.

“What’s wrong? Who is she, An?” Lexa asked in a low tone trying to be polite.

“I’m just a concerned friend. Glad to see you awake, Lexa.” The blonde said between sobs.

“Thank you.” Lexa thanked the blonde before she eyed her sister. “An, I’d like to sleep a bit if that’s okay?”

“Of course.” Anya fixed the blankets and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll see you later. I love you, sis.”

Lexa smiled, yet she stole one more glance to the blonde girl behind Anya. There was something in her mind nagging her that she knew the pretty stranger from somewhere, but right now she couldn’t place her.

“I love you too, Anya.”

 

“Come on, Clarke. She’s still adapting.” Anya said to the blonde on their way out of the room.

“She forgot me. She doesn’t remember!” The other girl was in despair, and Lexa hated that she apparently was the cause of the blonde’s obvious pain.

“Give her time, okay? She’ll remember.”

 

--oo--

 

Snow fell in a slow cadence as far as Lexa could see from the window of her temporary room. She was finishing tying her shoes before she finally went back home.

She learned that Lincoln had been renting her home, and it was finally available for her to return after November.

 

The past few weeks had been really hard for Lexa. Getting her body to cooperate with her took a lot of work and effort on her part. She had been gaining weight slowly and looking more like she used to before the accident. Nyko said that she could return to her regular physical activities after the new year though.

She finished dressing and checked her hair in front of the small mirror over the dresser. Lexa noticed the pink line nearby her temple and going right under her chestnut hair, where one of the more noticeable scars from her accident was visible. Shaking her head, Lexa grabbed a jacket from the perch and met her sister and cousin outside in the living room to return to her home.

“I’m ready guys.” Lexa announced.

“Okay, let’s get going.” Lincoln smiled and opened the door for her to head into the car.

 

Christmas was around the corner, and the Polis streets were as hectic as ever. It took half an hour to reach her house, and Lexa felt a huge sense of relief now that things were going back to normal. Not that she wasn’t grateful for her sister support, but she rather be back at her house.

“We moved most of your things yesterday from Anya’s garage, and we’ll be here to help you put everything in place. We have no rush, Lexa. We’re here for you.” Lincoln parked his car and swiftly opened the door to help Lexa get out of the car and into the house. Of course, her pride didn’t allow her to take his arm. She was feeling way better now so there was no need to use her cousin as support to walk.

“Let’s get inside, my ass is freezing out here.” Anya rubbed her gloved hands and ran to the porch to open the door.

Lexa followed and once she was inside the warmth of her house, she felt relaxed, yet when she looked around, she noticed the burst of colors here and there on her old white walls.

“What happened to my place?” Lexa asked looking at the more vibrant home, it wasn’t terrible, yet Lexa wasn’t used to this different colors and shades.

“The previous tenant made some changes, but if you don’t like them, I could repaint again in the original color.”

“No, I like it. It feels nice.”

“Alright, the fireplace is on.” Now you try to relax, Lex. Let me and Lincoln do the grunt work.” Anya squeezed her shoulder and headed into the kitchen to begin.

 

Lexa decided to go into her bedroom yet, she had the weirdest feeling as she walked inside. The room was just as she left it. The bed and dresser were in place. She started unpacking and returning things to the closet.

When she opened the closet door, she noticed what looked like an art canvas. She picked it up and looked at the art.

“Wow.” Lexa was speechless. The art was just hypnotizing with a hint of surreal. “Very beautiful.”

Lexa left it on her bed to look at the details. The background was a synergy of colors all mixed in a spiral of magic and space. At the center two feminine hands barely touching were what caught her eye the most. One hand was barely there yet the other one was as solid as her own flesh. As if trying to reach each other against the sucking vortex of stars and rainbows. In the corner, she found the small signature of the artist.

“Griffin…” Lexa walked back to the living room with the canvas in hand.

“Linc. I think the old tenant left this?” Lexa showed them the canvas.

Anya and Lincoln exchanged a look.

“Oh, I think so. Yeah, Ms. Griffin is an artist or so she told me. I can return it if you want?” Lincoln offered, but something told Lexa it was better to do it herself.

“No. I can do it. A little card from Mount Weather Gallery is attached to the back, so I can take it there. No problem.”

“Good. If you need me to drive you-” Anya began to offer, but Lexa left her hand stopping her mid-sentence.

“An, I can drive now. You two need to stop cuddling me. I’m way better guys. In the meantime, I’ll hang this canvas here. I think it’s pretty. Now let’s finish the moving and after we’re done I’ll order pizza!”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Lincoln laughed.

 

--oo--

 

Lexa had really wanted to return the paint as soon as she could, but going back to work with just a couple of days before Christmas kept her busy. She was trying to help her uncle Gustus on time sensitive things. Catching up on the current status of all of her old cases was going to take way more time than what she had. Gustus was extremely patient, but if Lexa wanted to earn the respect of everyone at the firm, she was going to work her ass off.

 

When she finally made it home from work, she locked the door behind her. The snow had been falling constantly, and her fingers and toes needed urgent warmth. She removed her jacket and left her messenger bag over the kitchen counter. She quickly grabbed her comfiest sweatpants and pullover and returned to the kitchen, she prepared hot cocoa. Once her cup was ready, she sat on the couch, resting her socked feet over the coffee table.

She turned on the TV and selected one of the new Netflix shows. For some reason, she began to spend more time relaxing and doing things she used to consider a waste of time and didn’t feel guilty about it. She even invited Anya last night to join her while watching a romantic Hallmark Christmas movie.

Lexa sipped her cup slowly, enjoying the delicious flavor when she had the sudden feeling that she was missing something. Since she returned home a few days ago, she had been having some issues sleeping, tossing and turning all night long. She would wake up at night and walk around the house as if looking for something or someone, Lexa wasn’t sure.

She looked all around the silent house, and her eyes returned to the canvas left near the fireplace. The art was really gorgeous, and it attracted Lexa in ways that art had never done. She couldn’t stop this nagging feeling that there was something important she had to do.  But for the love of God, she couldn’t put her finger on it.

 

Lexa sighed and increased the volume, trying to muffle her thoughts, enjoying the flavor of the hot chocolate on her lips. She licked them, and she had like a sudden deja vu. A flash of something very vivid. A softness over her lips, or maybe it was the warmth. But she could have sworn there was a cherry flavor besides the chocolate that triggered something in her memory. She licked her lips again, tasting the remnants of that cherry flavor.

And just like it came to her, it was gone in the blink of an eye.

“What is wrong with me?” She asked herself. “You’re okay. All the scans showed your brain was fine, so why do I have this strange feeling?” Lexa checked around herself again, not paying much attention to the movie anymore.

“It must be that I have been too stubborn and need to follow Gustus’ advice to rest.” Lexa decided to head to bed early and call it a night.

 

She made sure to leave everything washed before brushing her teeth and getting into the bed.

Lexa left her phone on the night table, turned off the night lamp, and pulled the covers over her body to keep herself as warm as possible.

She closed her eyes and began to drift to sleep slowly, falling back into her subconscious.

The damn annoying noise of the explosions in her backyard were ruining her dream though. Raven was so annoying for fuck’s sake. Lexa had no idea how the artist could be her friend.

“Shut it!” Lexa mumbled and covered her ears with another pillow.

But it seems the loud latina wouldn’t stop her current engineer project.

Lexa abruptly sat on the bed, turning on the night lamp back again. She looked around and realized she had been actually dreaming about the noise in her backyard.

“Who the hell is Raven? And why do I think I know a Raven?”

Lexa could feel the answer on the tip of her tongue.