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Seokjin & The 6 Memes

Chapter Text

TaeTae 

Heeeeeeeey Chim

 

Jiminie

Hey Tae

What's up

 

TaeTae

I'm gonna ask you something really important and probably really weird but just hear me out okay? 

 

Jiminie

After joining Bangtan, I grew immune to surprises

 

TaeTae

Lol whatever you drama queen

Okay here it goes

And I'm asking in all seriousness and need a very serious answer in return

 

Jiminie

Just ask Tae

 

TaeTae

Does sex have a smell?

I was getting there 

 

Jiminie

Excuse me?

Are you

Are you seriously asking me this?

 

TaeTae

Did you skip the part where I said to answer in all seriousness?

Or did you somehow forget to read? 

 

Jiminie

I can read perfectly fine thank you very much

I meant why the hell would you ask that

And why ask me specifically when you have tons of other friends who would answer that with confidence 

 

TaeTae

Okay first of all I don't have as many friends as you think I do 

Secondly, nobody has answered so far so I think they might be busy or sleeping idk

And finally, I asked the group chat as a last result but nobody answered there either

Well except Jungkookie but he said he was a prude and didn't know either 

And that's why I seeked you out specifically 

I would have blocked you if you'd ignored me so thanks for answering

I'm glad I don't have to cut ties with you 

 

Jiminie 

You don't have the heart to block me 

 

TaeTae

Try me bitch 

 

Jiminie 

Let that vine die already 

And I'm bringing this up now because I like to expose people 

Jungkook lied to you Tae he's not a prude he's the exact opposite 

 

TaeTae

(∩╹□╹∩)

How do you know 

 

Jiminie

I played Never Have I Ever with him, Yugyeom, and BamBam, and thanks to his uncontrollable urge to beat Yugyeom at the drinking game they were gonna play before NHIE, he got super shitfaced and I managed to find out that he was quite experimental during our debut years

 

TaeTae

But he was just a kid 

 

Jiminie 

Yep

Anyway 

Back to the matter at hand

What made you think of whether sex has a smell or not?

At literally 4 in the morning wtf Tae its really late 

 

TaeTae

Oh yeah

Don't judge me because you answered right away so I know I didn't wake you up 

Anyway okay so I was reading this fanfic right 

The usual 

 

Jiminie

What pairing 

 

TaeTae

Boo you know I'm all about that Yoonjin 

 

Jiminie 

Ooohhhh shit 

There's gonna be some heavy angst in there I'm calling it rn 

Send me the link 

 

TaeTae

I gotchu babe 

Anyway 

A particular scene came up and it made me realise that it's heavily implied in many ffs that sex has a smell

But like 

I'm a prude virgin 

I wouldn't know if it was true or not but I really wanna know 

Like does it smell like sweat cum and ass? 

Or sweat cum and vagina if it involves a girl? 

I wanna know Chim 

 

Jiminie 

...

 

TaeTae

Why the dots  

Are you so astounded by my mind that your head just KABOOSHED 

 

Jiminie

No it's just...you're a virgin? 

 

TaeTae

prude virgin if we're being specific 

But I'm proud of it 

 

Jiminie 

Bro, don't freak out at what I'm about to tell you okay? 

 

TaeTae

Okay?

 

Jiminie

I've had a huge crush on you since like the Dark and Dangerous era and I've been able to hide it pretty well but you just told me you've never been touched and my weak romantic heart wants to deflower you with as much love as possible 

So don't freak out but, do you want to find out first hand if sex has a smell?

 

TaeTae

You're offering me a night of sex? 

 

Jiminie 

No you idiot I just confessed my feelings for you

I'm offering a night of gentle love making with a shit ton of emotional attatchment that will last for eternity 

Oh and great aftercare

You in?

 

TaeTae

Is that even a question? 

FUCK YEAH I'M IN 

Let me just get ready 

I have so much googling to do  

Chapter Text

6 in the morning found Jungkook lounging on the couch in the livingroom staring blankly at the horror movie playing on tv. 

The maknae lazily munched on the gummy bears he snatched from Seokjin's 'secret' candy stash, and although Jungkook had once been trying to fall back asleep, he had decided that sugar was far more tastier than a warm cup of milk or sleeping tea. 

Jungkook's focus on reality tuned in at the sound of a door opening and closing, a short echo ringing in the silent Gangnam house. 

Curiosity got the best of him, so he silently walked to the hallway and peeked his head just enough to be able to see. The light was on - a precaution Taehyung took to following after bumping into the same table multiple times during his midnight trips to the bathroom - and Jungkook was able to see Taehyung himself awkwardly waddling towards the bathroom at the end of the short hallway. 

Jungkook didn't think much of it. After all, it was a constant thing for Taehyung to go to the bathroom given that he drinks a lot of water before going to sleep. Although it was kind of odd that he was walking weird, but Jungkook dismissed it. 

Just as he was about to walk away, the door to Taehyung's room opened again, and the maknae felt his jaw drop when he saw a shirtless Jimin walk out. A shirtless Jimin is normal. A shirtless Jimin with a shit-ton of hickeys and fresh scratches on his back is not.

He too walked into the bathroom occupied by Taehyung. Jungkook could faintly hear them talking, but he didn't want to stick around and possibly hear something he wasn't supposed to, so he sped-walked to the kitchen in a state of slight panic. 

Mindlessly, he got his phone out from his pajama's pocket and opened up the group chat. 

Because what else are you supposed to do upon seeing something you had no business knowing about? Keep it to yourself? Psh, yeah right. 

°•°•°•°•°

Seokjin & The 6 Memes 

Belieber4life

guys

Guys wake up

WAKE UP YOU ASSHOLES I THINK VMIN FUCKED 

THE EVIDENCE IS ON JIMIN'S BODY AND TAEHYUNG'S WADDLE

°•°•°•°•°

Jungkook made quick work of hiding the evidence of his snacking on Seokjin's candy, turned off the tv, then silently ran up the stairs because despite wanting to wake up his hyungs, he also wanted them to wake up at their own time. 

Once he reached the second floor, also known as the hyung's floor, he took the right and rushed past Seokjin's door and kept walking until he reached Yoongi's room.

Jungkook didn't bother knocking, just walked in and closed the door as calmly as he could with all the pent up emotions in his soul filling him with what seemed like untamable energy. 

As expected, Yoongi was still awake and sitting at his desk computer with his earphones plugged in. Jungkook did a quick scan of the room and eventually spotted his hyung's phone discarded on the neatly made bed. 

"Hyung," whispered Jungkook as he shuffled closer to his hyung. "Hyung, I think I saw something I wasn't supposed to see and I don't know how to react." 

There was no reaction at first and it all made sense once Jungkook was only a few steps away from the other. Already he could hear the loud beat of the music thrumming through the earphones. 

Jungkook chewed on his lip and gently removed the earphones from Yoongi's head. That made Yoongi finally look away from the screen. 

"Oh. What's up Jungkook?" he asked.

He let out a yawn and stretched his arms out. The way he did it always reminded Jungkook of a cat waking up from a nap, and usually he would tease his hyung by reminding him about it, but Jungkook was in the middle of a crisis and he needed to solve it before he can go back to teasing his hyungs. 

Wordlessly, Jungkook shoved his own phone into Yoongi's face. The older man made a noise of disapproval at the sudden device in his face, but he still took it in his hands and read through the messages Jungkook sent to the group chat some minutes prior. Yoongi frowned.  

"You think they fuck based on...?"

Jungkook huffed and rolled his eyes. "Jimin has scratches and hickeys all over him and Taehyung was waddling like a virgin who got fucked for the first time. I have more than enough experience to know what the signs of sex are."

Yoongi looked down at the phone again, read the messages a second time, then sighed. "They could have been playing too roughly, or got carried away with some game they played," he countered. "You're probably reading too much into this."

"I'm not," whined Jungkook. 

Yoongi handed him back his phone and turned back to his computer, although it looked like he was about to turn it off instead of continuing whatever he had been doing before Jungkook interrupted. 

"I don't see how their sex life should concern us," Yoongi stated.

It made Jungkook's stomach drop, a heavy and uncomfortable feeling resting on his gut. He doesn't know why it's there, but it's uninvited and Jungkook wants it gone. 

"I don't know either," he mumbles. A silence takes over. Then, "Can I sleep with you tonight? I've been awake for hours and sleep is finally catching up to me."

Yoongi went along with the topic change by agreeing. "Get under the covers," he ordered softly. "I'll be right back."

Jungkook did as told, and once he was comfortable, he let his gaze follow Yoongi. First he got a pair of pajamas (he was still wearing the clothes from the day before), then he walked out of the room to presumably go to the bathroom that was across Hoseok and Namjoon's bedroom doors on the left side of the stairs.  

Jungkook was half asleep when he felt the bed dip with a sudden weight, then arms wrapped around his waist and Yoongi's breath hit the back of his neck. 

"Don't wake me up tomorrow, I'm sleeping in, " he murmured.  

Jungkook hummed in agreement. The maknae let himself relax into the mattress, the gentle scent of his hyung's shampoo and soap soothing him into a much needed slumber.  

Chapter Text

Seokjin & The 6 Memes

HOBIHOBI

Holy shit vmin is real?!?  

YOU'RE TELLING ME THE SHIP SAILED WHILE I WAS KNOCKED OUT

WTF MAN THAT'S TOO CRUEL I WANTED TO EXPERIENCE IT HAPPEN 

 

CrabKing

You mean you wanted to see them somehow end up sleeping together? 

 

HOBIHOBI 

Idk maybe? 

 

TaeTae

Sleep with one eye open Kook cuz I'm gonna fucking slaughter you in your sleep 

 

CrabKing

Why are you threatening our maknae? 

 

TaeTae

BECAUSE HE EXPOSED JIMINIE AND I 

 

CrabKing

I'm sure he didn't mean it 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

lol Taehyung bottoms why am I not surprised 

 

TaeTae 

Hyung wtf

 

Jiminie 

He's a great bottom 

Those squats he's been doing are working miracles 

His bubble butt almost rivals mine but not quite yet 

 

TaeTae

JIMIN SHUT UP

 

CrabKing

Respect?

Who's that? We don't know her

 

HOBIHOBI

Seokjin-hyung is the only one in this household who's best friends with Respect 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

;) You know it babe 

 

TaeTae

Hyung doesn't hold any real respect tho

He controls us with fear which makes us unintentionally treat him as if he's someone worthy of being treated decently

 

HOBIHOBI

Bitch you know how he gets, I'm not gonna risk losing my manhood just for a few seconds of fame 

 

CrabKing

lol weak

 

KylieJennerWho? 

Shush Namjoonie you aren't any better than Hoseok 

 

CrabKing

:(

 

TaeTae

Lmao who's the loser now XD

 

CrabKing

I'd love to see Seokjin-hyung twist your balls again maybe then you'll remember why it's easy for him to intimidate us into submission 

 

TaeTae

Once was enough for me thanks

 

SugaTheGrouch

Can you guys shut up I'm trying to sleep 

 

Jiminie

Mute us then bitch

 

SugaTheGrouch

Blocking seems so much easier 

 

HOBIHOBI

Where's Jungkook?  

He hasn't appeared to put Taehyung back in his place for threatening him 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

I just walked into Yoongi's room to look for a sweater he stole from me and I'd like to inform you guys that Yoongi's sleeping with Jungkook 

 

HOBIHOBI

WAIT

SUGAKOOKIE IS REAL TOO???

YOONGI WHY DIDN'T I KNOW ABOUT THIS 

I THOUGHT WE WERE BFFLS 

DOES OUR FRIENDSHIP MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!?! 

WHY DO I KEEP GETTING STABBED IN THE BACK TODAY I THOUGHT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING

 

KylieJennerWho? 

Dude chill

They're sleeping 

Literal to God sleeping 

 

HOBIHOBI

Oh okay nvm 

False alarm everybody 

Ignore the tantrum that just happened 

 

Jiminie

Ignore Hoseok, period 

 

HOBIHOBI

Bitch

 

Jiminie

Are they cuddling hyung

 

KylieJennerWho? 

Yee

 

TaeTae

Do you think they'll kill us if we ask you to take pictures?  

 

Jiminie 

Yoongi-hyung maybe

Not sure about Jungkook 

 

TaeTae

Do it hyung 

Take the pictures 

 

CrabKing 

I thought you were mad at Kookie

 

TaeTae

Doesn't mean I can't appreciate his cuteness 

 

CrabKing

Okay?  

Also, don't take pictures hyung

 

KylieJennerWho? 

Oh

What's this? 

A dozen pictures in my gallery of Yoongi and Jungkook cuddling? 

'How did they get there?' one may ask 

 

HOBIHOBI

Cuz hyung's a creep? 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

Stfu Hoseok

'The world works in mysterious ways' is the correct answer 

 

Jiminie 

LOL Seokjin-hyung said 'fuck off Hoseok'

 

HOBIHOBI

Shut up Jimin

 

Jiminie

No tf

 

KylieJennerWho? 

I don't know what to do now so I'm just sitting at Yoongi's desk staring at them sleep

Fellas is it gay 

 

HOBIHOBI

When it comes to you, everything's gay 

 

Jiminie

Go through his porn history 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

Already tried

He's 14 days clean 

 

CrabKing

Wow a new record 

Kudos to hyung 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

I'm going in guys wish me luck 

 

Jiminie

Going in what?  

 

KylieJennerWho? 

The cuddle pile duh

 

TaeTae 

It's not like you'll die for getting in bed with them

Yoongi-hyung's scared of you too for some reason

 

CrabKing

I just realized that Seokjin-hyung is the only one out of us that has grabbed all six of our dicks individually

Granted he was torturing us so it wasn't really a nice type of groping 

 

HOBIHOBI

What a great influence 

Perfect candidate to be put up on a high pedestal 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

Taehyung must be into masochism because I swear that one and only time I grabbed him, he got hard 

 

TaeTae

Why do you think I won't get you mad anymore 

It was really embarrassing (and kinda hot too NGL) to feel myself grow in your hand 

 

Jiminie

Wait wait wait wait 

Hold on guys you change topics way too fast 

What did Yoongi-hyung do to make Seokjin almost kill his sex life with that death grip of his  

 

CrabKing

Oh yeah the maknaes weren't there when it happened 

 

HOBIHOBI

It was a hyung's night out, of course the maknaes weren't there

 

TaeTae

YOU GUYS HAVE A HYUNG'S NIGHT OUT?!?!

WITHOUT US?!?! 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

What's the point of a hyung's night out if the maknaes join? 

 

Jiminie

1.) Rude

2.) You're back! How did it go 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

I have a cat cuddling to my left and a bunny cuddling to my right 

Take a wild guess on how I'm doing rn

 

HOBIHOBI

Sounds like heaven 

 

TaeTae

From now on we're gonna have a maknae's night out and you traitors aren't invited 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

Cool

That gives us more opportunities to go out together without you 3

 

Jiminie

Guuuyyyyssss stop changing the subjeeeecctttt

What did Yoongi-hyung do to Seokjin-hyung

 

KylieJennerWho? 

Oh that lol

Okay so we were out drinking and eating ice cream right 

 

HOBIHOBI

A horrible combination if I may add 

 

CrabKing 

May I remind you it was your idea?  

But yeah it was a truly horrible idea considering it came from a drunk Hoseok but what's done is done ig

 

KylieJennerWho? 

And Hoseok McAssholeton suggested we play truth or dare to 'make us feel young again' according to his withering age 

 

 

HOBIHOBI

Hyung you're older than me tf

 

KylieJennerWho? 

Hoseok stop being irrelevant challenge: failed 

Anywho 

Yoongi was dared to shove his ice cream down my shirt so I was cool with it because it's a dare you know? There was nothing I could do about it

 

TaeTae

Why not just stop playing?  

 

CrabKing 

You would think that was an option but remember that Seokjin-hyung is really stupid when he's drunk 

Well

We all are tbh

 

HOBIHOBI

LMAO HYUNG IS DUMB NO MATTER WHAT 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH MY STORY YOU INSIGNIFICANT VAGINA FLAPS 

 

Jiminie

Aggressive 

Me likey ;)

 

KylieJennerWho? 

#Blocked 

Anyway so that happened and it was whatever 

But then Yoongi's turn to give Hoseok a dare, and Yoongi being the little gremlin asshole he is dared, Hoseok to shove ice in my underwear

And that's when I decided Yoongi needed to be taught a lesson because I wasn't about to willingly suffer twice just to amuse my evil dongsaengs 

 

Jiminie

Wow what a ride 

I'm sad I wasn't there to see it happen :(

 

HOBIHOBI

I didn't do the dare btw 

Seokjin didn't let me 

He threatened my life and the life of my future children

 

TaeTae

Hyung you're gay

 

HOBIHOBI

And??

 

TaeTae

How can the life of your future children be threatened when you can't have kids with dudes 

 

CrabKing

Surrogates exist Tae

 

KylieJennerWho? 

It's nice that you know what a good threat is Hoseok 

Btw you woke up my baby Jungkookie 

His notifications are on

Expect a message from him soon he's reading the convo 

 

CrabKing

His notifications are on yet he never responds to us 

 

Jiminie

That's a lie, he messages us when he needs something 

 

TaeTae

A true snake I'm telling you 

Let's end him

 

Belieber4life 

Can you guys shut up it's too early

 

TaeTae

Says the asshole who snitched on Jimin and I at 6 in the morning 

 

Jiminie 

Tae be wildin now that he no longer has his V card 

 

TaeTae

OH MY GOD SHUT UP PLEASE 

 

Belieber4life 

It's 

Too

EARLY 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

Baby it's nearly 10 

 

Belieber4life

Any hour before 2 in the afternoon is too early now shush and let me sleep 

 

TaeTae

I'm gonna go over there and beat you up until you resemble the Galaxy you little shit 

 

HOBIHOBI

Damn you're so petty 

All this because he exposed you?  

That was a long time ago just let it go already 

 

TaeTae

IT WAS LITERALLY 3 HOURS AGO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT 

 

CrabKing

Whoa

Was that you yelling Taehyung? 

 

HOBIHOBI

Like I said, it happened a long time ago 

 

Belieber4life

I've always wanted to fight with a puppy

Come at me, bitch

 

Jiminie

Ooohhh Tae just got called a puppy 

I won't be surprised if that ends up being a kink of his 

You guys should have seen him, he was sooo wild last night 

 

CrabKing

Did you really have to bring that up? I don't want to have this conversation while I'm trying to eat my oatmeal 

 

HOBIHOBI

Sucks to be you Joonie 

And I won't be surprised either I mean have you seen all these leashes he bought online thinking we wouldn't notice?  

 

TaeTae

THEY'RE UNIQUE CHOKERS AND AN IMPORTANT ITEM OF THE FASHION INDUSTRY 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

Oh honey we know that's a lie

But worry not because in this house we'll accept you even if you turn out to be a furry 

 

Jiminie

But don't expect to not get bullied over it 

 

TaeTae 

I fucking hate this family 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

We love you too  

Now

Joonie make me some cereal I'll be down in a few 

Chapter Text

Seokjin & The 6 Memes

Jiminie

Remember how we talked about Taehyung possibly being into masochism?

I honestly thought it was just a joke 

Turns out, it wasn't

Guys, Taehyung is into vanilla BDSM 

 

CrabKing

We never asked 

 

KylieJennerWho?

And once again, I'm not surprised

 

SugaTheGrouch

Is vanilla BDSM even an actual thing?

 

KylieJennerWho?

How did you prove it

And Yoongi sweetheart, Google it if you want to know

We're not your personal search engine 

 

Jiminie

If you want to learn more then come to my room Yoongles ;)

Anyway, getting back to the topic at hand before we get carried away

It was an unexpected discovery I swear

We were watching some Mexican drama about drug lords but it wasn't my cup of tea so I got really bored

 

Belieber4life

Oh my god I think I was there when this happened 

 

Jiminie

And I had my head on Tae's lap so I thought 'hey let me get his attention by biting his thigh' 

Next thing I know, there's a boner in my face 

 

Belieber4life

Yeeaahhh I was in the room

They ditched me to fuck :(

It was extremely heartbreaking </3

I was left all alone 

 

HOBIHOBI

How sinful how sad 

Do you expect to get past the pearly gates at the pace you're going? @Jiminie @TaeTae

 

TaeTae

Stfu I've seen your porn history I know you're into furries 

We're getting sent to hell TOGETHER

 

HOBIHOBI

Shame on you everyone knows I'm into furries and it's been accepted 

 

SugaTheGrouch

I'd like to mention that I had no idea this was a thing of yours wow that's weird 

 

HOBIHOBI

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THIS YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND 

 

SugaTheGrouch

WHY ON EARTH WOULD I NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU LIKE TO DRESS UP YOUR LOVERS AS ANIMALS?!?!

 

CrabKing 

Hoseok my dude are you alright? That's kinda concerning 

 

KylieJennerWho?

This is how you know Hoseok lied because everyone is shocked and concerned 

Myself included cuz that's another level of weird even for us 

 

Belieber4life

3 out of 6 isn't everyone

I knew this freaky side of him already

 

Jiminie

Didn't you find out because you walked in on him jerking it to you on the 'For You' MV where you wore that huge bear costume

And you came to me freaking out over it 

But then you fell asleep and had a wet dream which kind of made me think you actually liked it 

 

HOBIHOBI

(๑´ω`๑)

 

Belieber4life

WE AGREED TO NEVER SPEAK OF THIS YOU SNAKE 

 

Jiminie 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

KylieJennerWho?

Wow Hoseok you're shameless 

You need to go to church

 

HOBIHOBI

Wow Seokjin you're annoying you need to stop being a bitch

 

SugaTheGrouch

Wow Yoongi you need to get better friends 

 

CrabKing 

What about me :( 

Aren't I your friend?

Do you want to replace me too?

 

TaeTae

(∩╹□╹∩)

That's cold Yoongi-hyung

Why would you treat Namjoon-hyung like this

He's an innocent soul

 

SugaTheGrouch

Taehyung stop trying to instigate fights just because you can

And Namjoonie you're the only exception

 

HOBIHOBI

Did y'all hear that? It was the sound of my heart being torn apart by Yoongi-hyung

 

KylieJennerWho?

Shouldn't be the first time since Yoongi's constantly using our feelings as a punching bag 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Hyung stop being dramatic you're the only one apart from Joonie that I won't mess with so be happy about it

 

KylieJennerWho?

Coward

 

SugaTheGrouch

Excuse me for wanting a perfectly functioning dick until I'm too old to use it 

 

Jiminie

So what I'm hearing is that you're gonna keep that big boy to use until you can't get it up anymore?

 

TaeTae

Is there any chance I'll get to play with Yoongi Jr at some point in life ;)

 

SugaTheGrouch

Stay away from me or I'll burn all your leashes you dog

 

HOBOHOBI 

That was low hyung

 

TaeTae

YOU CAN'T THREATEN MY CHOKERS LIKE THAT YOU PSYCHO WHAT THE HELL

 

SugaTheGrouch

Well would you look at that 

I just did

Whatcha gonna do bout it

Bitch 

 

CrabKing 

Ewe was that really necessary

I'm getting intense cringe over your spelling please type properly 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Fuck off Joonie this isn't English class 

 

Belieber4life has changed the chat name to Namjoon's English Class 

 

CrabKing 

Awe thanks baby 

Okay fuckers listen up I'm gonna need you to pay real close attention unless you want me to spank you with a ruler 

 

KylieJennerWho? has changed the chat name to Seokjin & The 6 Memes 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Nice try bitch but I'm in charge here, not the fetus 

 

HOBIHOBI

Whoa I never thought Namjoon would turn to spanking as a punishment for short attention spans 

 

Jiminie

I'd like to inform everybody that Taehyung just came up to me and asked if we could try spanking 

 

TaeTae

JIMIN YOU FUCKER THAT WAS MEANT TO STAY BETWEEN US 

 

Belieber4life

lol I just saw Taehyung chase Jimin up the stairs

 

SugaTheGrouch

oh no HYUNG LINE QUICK LOCK YOUR DOORS 

 

CrabKing

After getting my own room, I made it a habit to lock my door at all times 

 

Belieber4life

Even when you're not here?

 

CrabKing

Especially when I'm not here 

I had the knob changed as soon as we settled in so now I'm the only one able to enter my room 

I have 2 keys tho

One is in my keychain and the other is hidden somewhere you'll never find it 

 

HOBIHOBI

Wait a minute I found a key like a month ago taped to the back of my tv 

Was that yours?

 

CrabKing 

Fuck

 

KylieJennerWho?

Good thing I took it as soon as Hoseok told me about it 

 

CrabKing

HOSEOK WHAT THE HELL DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO KEEP THINGS TO YOURSELF 

 

HOBIHOBI

I'M SORRY I DON'T LIKE KEEPING SECRETS FROM Y'ALL BITCHES 

AND I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOURS 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Now I can sneak into Namjoon's room whenever I please :)

Anybody want a copy?

 

Belieber4life

I do said the bunny 

 

Jiminie 

I do said Jiminie & TaeTae 

 

CrabKing 

You're not getting shit said the CrabKing

 

HOBIHOBI

The CrabKing is dead let's raid his kingdom and take what's valuable 

 

CrabKing

GUYS TAEHYUNG JUST FUCKING KICKED DOWN MY DOOR WHAT THE HELL

 

KylieJennerWho?

I hope he knows that's coming out of his paycheck 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Holy shit I put on my earphones so I could ignore the noise but it's not working 

I can hear everything from my room 

Namjoon is that you shouting?

 

CrabKing 

That's my cry for help 

I'm surprised you heard that through Jimin and Taehyung's own yelling

I'm hiding under my bed rn 

They're fighting on my bed now 

Oh wait 

Oh 

Someone please come kick them out I can hear them making out 

JIMIN JUST MOANED PLEASE HURRY UP 

 

Belieber4life

Forever impressed by their sex life 

I say Taehyung got turned on because Jimin was getting riled up and began fighting back against Taehyung 

He looks like the type to be into that 

 

HOBIHOBI

Nah it's because Namjoon's in the same room 

I took a nap in the living room earlier and when I woke up they were having an intense make out session right next to me so I think it's an exhibition kink

 

SugaTheGrouch

I think they're just horny idiots who can't keep it in their pants 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Yeah I'm with Yoongi on this one 

I walked in on them going wild in the tub a few nights ago 

I was trying to relieve my bladder but instead I experienced Bottom Taehyung 

Jimin was right when he said Taehyung's a great bottom 

 

CrabKing 

Just bring a broom and smack them

Things are getting heated and I want out!!

 

HOBIHOBI

Do you really 

 

CrabKing 

No comment 

 

KylieJennerWho?

lmao Jungkook and I are way ahead of you buddy we've been getting ready for the past five minutes 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Jinkook vs. Vmin 

This can't mean anything good 

Kinda wanna see how it turns out tho

 

HOBIHOBI

Watch them leave us on a cliffhanger and refuse to tell us how things went when we ask them 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Ugh you're right 

Guess I'll go see what happens 

 

CrabKing

I can see Hoseok's ugly balenciagas by the door

You're the only one missing Yoongi

Better hurry up the battle just started 

Vmin are half naked and jinkook are wearing bandanas and war paint 

 

SugaTheGrouch 

OHMYGOD THEY'RE SO DUMB 

Omw

Chapter Text

Hardass Maknaes 

Belieber4life

Hey bitches I just saw the hyungs sneak out of the house

Wanna get drunk and play with each other now that we have the place to ourselves 

 

TaeTae 

Damn Jungkookie I didn't know you were so wild ;)

I'm in 

Jiminie too 

 

Belieber4life

Why isn't he answering the chat 

 

TaeTae

The dumbass forgot his phone in the van so we need to wait for Sejin-hyung to bring it back to us 

 

Belieber4life

lmao okay 

I'm on my way to buy some stuff so I'll be back later

Any requests?

 

TaeTae

Just buy snacks, we'll order takeout

 

Belieber4life

Alright 

 °•°•°•°•°

Seokjin & The 6 Memes 

TaeTae

You assholes left us alone and unsupervised I hope you deal with the consequences when you get back 

 

HOBIHOBI

Lol what 

What consequences we haven't done shit 

 

Jiminie 

AT LAST I'M REUNITED WITH MY PHONE 

Maknae party

We already drank half of what was in the minibar and half of what Jungkook bought 

 

CrabKing 

Did you really drink without us 

 

HOBIHOBI

What's this feeling in my chest 

It almost feels as if 

My heart was stabbed?

 

KylieJennerWho?

Top 10 Animal Betrayals

 

SugaTheGrouch

Top 10 Anime Betrayals*

 

KylieJennerWho?

Who fucking cares Yoongi our dongsaengs got drunk without us 

How could you do this to us?!

After all we've done for you!!

 

HOBIHOBI

WE CARRIED YOU TO ADULTHOOD 

 

CrabKing

We introduced you to alcohol! 

 

SugaTheGrouch 

Who knew getting stabbed in the back by our maknaes would hurt this much 

 

TaeTae

NO 

DON'T THROW THAT SHIT AT US WHEN YOU WERE THE FIRST ONES TO CONSPIRE AGAINST US 

 

Jiminie 

I THOUGHT WE WERE A TEAM BUT NOOOO YOU STILL GO OUT WITHOUT INVITING US 

 

KylieJennerWho?

I'll never firgive you JANICE 

 

Belieber4life

We don't need your forgiveness when we have tequila and vodka and soju to make us forget our stresses 

A.K.A the hyung line 

If it wasn't clear enought 

You guys are the stresses

 

CrabKing

We got it sweetheart 

 

SugaTheGrouch

I'm so close to going back home and teaching them a lesson 

 

Belieber4life

And here I was saving you your favorite cookies :( 

Guess I'll eat them since you're being a rude bitch 

 

SugaTheGrouch

I was joking Kookie please save the cookies for hyung 

 

HOBIHOBI

YOU CAN'T BE SWAYED LIKE THIS YOONGI

 

SugaTheGrouch

Shut up loser you'd do the same 

 

HOBIHOBI

...well I can't exactly argue with that when I know it's the truth 

 

Belieber4life

Jimin and Tae are making out in front of me 

I don't know how to react 

It's kinda hot?

Oh well would you look at that 

I have a boner 

 

KylieJennerWho?

You're drunk Jungkook don't do anything stupid 

 

Belieber4life

I'm drunk and freeeee

 

SugaTheGrouch

If you ask me, I think he's old enough to experience regret the morning after a one-night-stand 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Nobody asked you anything Yoongi

 

Belieber4life

Thanks Yoongi-hyung I knew you were my favorite for a reason 

 

KylieJennerWho?

EXCUSE ME?!

YOU TOLD ME I WAS YOUR FAVORITE!!

 

Belieber4life

And I also said you were a great cook yet here we are 

 

HOBIHOBI

Oh shit Jungkook's getting wild 

 

Belieber4life

Alright I'm going in 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Going in what?

Jungkook 

Jungkook!

JUNGKOOK YOU SHIT GET BACK HERE AND ANSWER MY QUESTION

 

CrabKing

Using my common sense I came to the conclusion that Jungkook might have just said he's joining the vmin fun

 

HOBIHOBI

He's going in Tae's ass

 

SugaTheGrouch

Hoseok wtf

 

HOBIHOBI

Did I lie tho

 

CrabKing

Probably not but sugarcoat it next time dude geez 

 

KylieJennerWho?

We're going home everybody gather up 

I'm talking to you Yoongi 

You're the only one missing from the table 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Lol no I'm not leaving now 

I'm close to winning Kook a plushie

 

CrabKing

Why are you even getting him one 

And where 

 

SugaTheGrouch 

Because he said he saved me cookies

I gotta pay my respect one way or another 

And I'm at the crane machine across the street 

 

KylieJennerWho?

When did you even leave 

 

HOBIHOBI

When you were too distracted stuffing your face with noodles

 

CrabKing

I'm still pressed that you didn't save any black bean paste noodles for us like wtf hyung I thought we were a team 

Teams don't betray each other like this 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Exactly why I left 

Cuz hyung couldn't stop himself from finishing all the damn food so why even stick around

 

HOBIHOBI

I ordered two more plates guys don't worry just come back Yoongi 

I want to eat properly before we leave 

 

KylieJennerWho?

There's no time to eat we have to get home and stop Jungkookie from doing something he'll regret 

 

CrabKing 

Says the one who ate literally everything 

We're going to eat too hyung so either you go away and leave your wallet or you stay and watch us eat 

 

KylieJennerWho?

You're not gonna share AND you're making me pay? 

 

HOBIHOBI

No because we care about our dicks 

We're doing it for the future of humanity 

You get to eat but remember you're paying 

 

KylieJennerWho?

FINE smh

 °•°•°•°•°

Seokjin & The 6 Memes

Belieber4life

Lol hyungs what the hell 

I went in to cockblock 

I don't want to watch my bffs fuck in front of my salad 

 

HOBIHOBI

I thought I was your bff :(

 

TaeTae

Bitch you thot 

 

CrabKing

Don't you mean 'thought'

 

KylieJennerWho?

He's texting Joonie noy writing a 10 page college essay explaining the exploitation of the natives 

 

SugaTheGrouch

We're not in America hyung what the hell

 

Jimin

Hallelujah for that 

 

SugaTheGrouch 

Get your shit out of here 

Can't you wait till I'm finished typing @Jiminie

 

Jiminie 

Can't you get that stick removed from your ass @Yoongles 

 

SugaTheGrouch

I'm leaving that shit right where it is fuck off 

We're on our way home btw I expect my cookies to be on the kitchen table on my favorite plate with a cup of strawberry milk next to it 

Stat

 

Belieber4life

Ooooohhhhhh

No can do hyung 

I ate all your cookies 

I'm hella fucked and I don't regret it one bit 

 

Jiminie 

I tried to stop him from eating them but he gave me a wet willy 

 

SugaTheGrouch

SO YOU JUST LET HIM EAT MY COOKIES WITH NO PUNISHMENT?!?!

 

Jiminie

They were YOUR cookies YOU punish him 

 

Belieber4life 

Hyung nooooo

Don't dooooooo it

I'm your favorite remember 

I cuddle you whenever you ask me to 

 

Jimine 

Excuse me 

 

TaeTae 

What 

 

HOBIHOBI

EXCUSE ME BITCH WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!

 

Belieber4life

And I never told the members about it either just like you asked

 

SugaTheGrouch

Get ready to die, snake 

 

Belieber4life

Whoops :)

#IRegretNothing

 

Jiminie

HYUNG HOW COULD YOU 

WHY DON'T YOU CUDDLE ME WHEN I'M SO WILLING 

 

HOBIHOBI

ME TOO 

I THOUGHT WE WERE BUDS 

 

CrabKing

I thought you were bae, turns out you're just fam 

 

TaeTae

Lmao hyung you have basic vine knowledge get on my level 

 

CrabKing 

YOU KNOW WHAT TAE FUCK YOU I'M GREAT 

 

TaeTae

I wouldn't mind if you did ;) I bet my whole kidney you're as great as your daddy aura on stage 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Gather in the living room you rats we're 4 houses down 

It's about time we talk

 

SugaTheGrouch

And by 'talk' you mean we're gonna get smashed and expose each other the way we've been doing for years

 

KylieJennerWho?

Of course what else would I mean?

 

Belieber4life

What a great time to play hide and seek 

Make sure to find me hyungs~~ 

I'm already hiding 

 

KylieJennerWho?

THIS IS NO TIME FOR GAMES 

 

TaeTae

It's ALWAYS time for games 

Especially Hide and Seek

 

SugaTheGrouch

First the maknaes get drunk without us 

Secondly hyung eats all the black bean noodles 

Then Jungkook eats my cookies and exposes me 

Now I'm missing out on my favorite game? 

Why is life so rude to me??

 

Jiminie

You go to Jungkook for cuddles instead of me 

Suffer in silence, traitor,  there's no way you're getting any sympathy from us 

 

SugaTheGrouch

:(

Chapter Text

Jungkook had just finished chugging down yet another can of beer when he began coughing madly. He had drank the alcohol way too fast and part of it went down the wrong way. Jimin - always the devil in disguise - cackled at the maknae's misfortune. 

Once Jungkook calmed down, he sighed and smacked his lips in distaste. 'I should really brush my teeth before going to bed,' he thought to himself.

"Tae, mix more drinks," Jungkook muttered. "Maybe double it. Hyungs should be getting here soon."

"Since when are you such an angel?" Taehyung cooed mockingly as he leaned in and pinched the maknae's chubby cheeks. 

Jungkook grinned innocently, his bunny smile and adorably crinkled eyes making the other two in the room melt. "I know," Jungkook answered proudly. 

He watched Taehyung take a seat on the floor in front of the crowded coffee table full off bottles and bottles of different type of alcohol and soft drinks, then his eyes shifted to his other hyung who was at the end of the coffee table downing three shots of soju.

Jimin made a noise when he was finished with the shots and he stumbled over to Taehyung only to push him aside. 

"I'll mix the drinks, TaeTae. Go sit with Kookie."

Jungkook laid down on the couch, but his gaze didn't waver from Jimin's drunk antics. 

Taehyung, who had refused to let Jimin take over the mixing, was giggling as he tried to fill up the punch bowl (which just so happens to be Hoseok's favorite bowl therefore they had to be really careful with it) with all the leftover drinks spread throughout the table. Jimin couldn't stop himself from stretching to place a quick kiss on Taehyung's neck. It made the younger squirm, still as giggly as before. 

Jungkook unconsciously pouted. "How did you two end up together?"

He was suddenly thankful that he was slightly drunk because the alcohol was keeping him from going into a full blown panic frenzy over the question he unconsciously asked. 

Taehyung finally let Jimin take over and went to lay with Jungkook on the small couch. Jungkook huffed at the sudden weight ontop of his chest. Taehyung sighed in content when he rested his head on his dongsaeng's chest.

"Apparently Jiminie had a crush on me for a while," Taehyung began to explain. Jungkook blinked his eyes open. He wasn't aware when he had closed his eyes, but now he was aware he needed to stay awake. "When he found out I was a virgin, he got excited and wanted to be my first," Tae explained and Jungkook could practically hear the smile on his hyung's face as he recalled the moment. 

Jimin's loud laugh sounded throughout the livingroom. "It was great," he added. "And I made sure it wasn't just a quick fuck. I'm all about the emotional sex, not one-night-stands."

"You're adorable," Taehyung said, almost mockingly. It only made Jimin attempt aegyo, but it turned out to be terrifying instead of cute.

Jungkook suddenly felt odd. He kept listening even as Taehyung started telling his boyfriend all these nice things, and Jimin was practically shining under all the compliments he was receiving from his other half. 

There was a longing feeling in Jungkook's chest. 

"I want compliments too," he said unknowingly. 

Jimin looked up from the bowl and smirked. "The juice is done," he said. 

The two younger members took that as a sign to get back on the floor to continue their drinking.

Jungkook pouted when he thought he went ignored, but Jimin made sure to not let the disappointment last long. 

Once Jungkook and Tae were seated next to each other with their backs to the sofa, Jimin shuffled over to plant himself on his dongsaeng's lap. 

Jungkook frowned in confusion at the situation. Jimin leaned in, his breath strong with alcohol, and whispered something that sent shivers up Jungkook's spine. 

"Is our cute maknae getting jealous?" 

"Adorable," replied Taehyung from next to them. His arm slipped around Jungkook's waist and he let his fingers lightly tap against his side. "How can someone so hot be so adorable?" 

Jungkook didn't realize it at first, but somehow Jimin had lessened the distance between them and the slightest move could make their lips touch accidentally. Taehyung's hand had also somehow ended up beneath his shirt and his cold fingers left goosebumps behind in its trail. Jungkook wasn't sure if he should be blaming the alcohol for the weird feelings taking over his being.

"You're amazing, Jungkookie," Jimin whispered against his mouth. 

The maknae unintentionally looked down at his best friend's lips, and when he looked back up at Jimin's eyes, he saw his hyung staring intently at him. 

Suddenly, a disgusting smell clouded Jungkook's nose making him gag. 

Jimin - the one who had burped in his face - pulled away in a fit of laughter and Taehyung joined in. 

"Hyung," Jungkook whined once he stopped gagging. "You're horrible to me."

Jimin crawled off and sat himself next to the table before he began filling a glass with the mixed concoction in the bowl.

Deciding enough was enough, Jungkook grabbed his unopened water bottle from coffee table and gulped down half. If not to sober him up, then to try and prevent a hangover the next day.

When Taehyung saw Jungkook put down the water bottle, he crawled onto the younger's lap too.

Jungkook couldn't help but stare in amazement at Taehyung. Even from that angle he looked good. Then Kook started panicking when the thought of pulling his hyung down to kiss him passed through his mind. 

Wasn't that wrong? Jungkook has long accepted he was attracted to both genders, but this was his group mate he was thinking of kissing. One of his best friends. Someone very important to him. Also, he was taken by another important person in Jungkook's life. 

This couldn't possibly end well, right?

Jungkook was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed Taehyung grab a cup of whatever it is that Jimin mixed together and hand it to Jungkook. At least, not until Taehyung bumped their foreheads together. 

Jungkook looked at the cup, then at Taehyung's happy expression that was now way too close to his face. Taehyung was so attractive and adorable and Jungkook suddenly wanted to know how good of a bottom Jimin claimed Taehyung to be. 

"You okay there, bud?" Taehyung asked when Jungkook made no move to take the cup from his hand. 

Jungkook licked his dry lips and nodded. "I'm feeling kind of sleepy," he responded in a mumble. 

Just then the front door slammed open and in rushed a small hyung bundled in a thick jacket to protect him from the october breeze. "Stop right there and give me that cup of whatever it is," Yoongi demanded as he waddled over to the trio. 

Taehyung grinned as he stood up and handed the concoction to his hyung. Yoongi took a seat on the sofa and Taehyung gladly sat next to him and cuddled in closer to his hyung. Yoongi didn't bother to complain, nor did he push the younger away. 

"I'm surprised you guys left some for us," Seokjin said as he walked in, followed by the remaining members of the rapper line.

The three of the hyungs stood at the front door to remove their coats and hang them in the closet built in the wall next to the front door. 

"I had Jimin make some more for you assholes," Jungkook responded. 

Seokjin ran over with a cheeky smile on his face. He crouched down and squished Jungkook's face. "I knew I could count on my baby boy," he cooed. 

His words has Jungkook’s stomach flipping upside down, but just like always, Jungkook ignored it.

Seokjin straightened up and turned to Yoongi. The oldest didn't say anything as he began to undress Yoongi from the jacket, scarf, and beanie he was wearing. 

Hoseok and Namjoon made themselves comfortable on the floor next to Jimin and began to drink with him.

"I'm not an asshole by the way," said Seokjin as he struggled with a purposely listless Yoongi. "You're just a brat who thinks it's fun to mess with his hyungs." 

Namjoon choked on the shot of soju he had been drinking. "Oh please. You're the worst out of us all," he exposed. "You and Hoseok are probably tied for the title of 'Biggest Backstabbers' of the group."

Hoseok side eyed his same aged friend. "Keep me out of it. I have access to your studio."

Namjoon rolled his eyes. "Everyone has access to my studio, Seok.”

A slight argument began and Jungkook took it as his cue to drift off to sleep. With that, Jungkook took a throw pillow from the sofa and laid down on the floor. The loud background noise didn't bother him in the slightest, just made him feel comfortable as he slowly succumbed to unconsciousness. 

Chapter Text

Awkward Bitches 

Yugyummy 🍕

Yoooo Changkyun-hyung!!

How'd you like being a girl for a day 

Or more than a day considering you've dressed as a girl on more than one occasion

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Ngl it was awesome

 

Yugyummy 🍕

You did great btw 

Looked hot af

10/10 would make out with you 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Dude the skirt let my dick breathe freely it felt as if I was walking in heaven 

 

Kookie 🍪

Must be nice

It's been a while since JK Jr. has felt that way

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Lol what 

You're telling me you don't let your dick breathe?

 

Kookie 🍪

Not unless I want my hyungs to stare at my junk every time I wear pajamas without underwear

I love them but having their attention on my dick makes my heart feel things

 

Yugyummy 🍕

That's can't possibly be healthy for your dick dude 

Seriously, let it breathe every once in a while

I say this because I care 

 

Kookie 🍪

#IgnoringYou 

On a serious note, did you genuinely like it Kyunie?

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Oh yeah definitely 

I liked it so much I had a little talk with the stylist noonas and guess who went home with 3 new outfits with free dick space??

ME BITCH

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Yooo let's dress up and try to scam some idiots 

 

Kookie 🍪

We're idols why do we need to scam people 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Well aren't you just the most fun person on the planet 

Note the sarcasm 

 

Kookie 🍪

o_o

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

I say let's do it 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

2-1

Jungkook you lost

When shall we meet

 

Kookie 🍪

No 

You can't force me to crossdress just to try and scam fools out of something I most probably have 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Didn’t you sleep on a matress on the floor up until 2 weeks ago because you wasted your money on expensively useless shit?

So then your hyungs cooperated to buy you a bunk bed which you barely use?

 

Kookie 🍪

I can feel you judging me 

Please stop 

And my living conditions weren’t that bad because my hyungs let me sleep in their beds whenever I want to so who's the real winner?

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Clearly not your hyungs cuz they have to share their bed with you 

 

Kookie 🍪

Shut up they love me 

Anyway, my answer is still no 

You can't force me into scamming people out of money I clearly need 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Lol that sounds different to your first statement 

 

Kookie 🍪

I didn't want to lie to myself so I admitted to my need for financial stability 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Whatever, you're coming with us 

As a hyung, I'm politely forcing you out of your comfort zone 

You need to live a little 

You'll thank me later for this 

 

Kookie 🍪

WHY AM I BEING PEER PRESSURED INTO THIS 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Because you're weak to everybody that isn't your group 

 

Kookie 🍪

Ah 

The cold hard truth 

Kinda stings a bit 

But yeah I just realize my hyungs let me get away unharmed with no punishment for the shit I do to them 

Just the other day I ate all of Seokjinnie-hyung's secret candy stash and I didn't get hit or anything

Hyung grabbed my face and kissed my cheeks and said 'I love it when you eat well my cute little dongsaeng' 

I still can't get over it tbh 

The memory keeps replaying in my head every two seconds 

It's making me feel things 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

...

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

...

 

Kookie 🍪

Anyway feel free to walk in and kidnap me 

The extra key is hidden in the small pot hanging next to the door

Any time after lunch preferably 

Seokjin-hyung is taking me out to eat and I don't want to miss out on a free meal 

Desperate times call for desperate measures

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

You wouldn't be as poor as you say you are if you didn't waste your money on gaming equipment and countless speakers 

 

Kookie 🍪

Fuck off being poor is part of the college life

I can't avoid it 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

YOU'RE NOT IN COLLEGE YOU'RE JUST STUPID 

 

Kookie 🍪

LET ME BREATHE DAMMIT 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

NOT UNTIL YOU'RE SMARTER 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

LMAO SO NEVER 

 

Kookie 🍪

BYE

 

Chapter Text

Yugyummy 🍕

Hey 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

There's a queasy feeling in my gut and I don't like it 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Hear me out okay

I have this theory

I've been thinking about this for the past year 

Literally what I think about 20/6

And I want to put it to the test but I need your help

Will you oh so kindly volunteer to make your lovely dongsaeng's life easier?

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Should I be worried? 

I feel like I should

 

Yugyummy 🍕

We're meddling with a potential love life it's completely legal and doesn't involve physical death 

Although we might suffer the consequences some time in the future but I rather not worry about that particular fact rn

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

I mean I guess it doesn't sound that bad 

Drama is always a nice thing to be a part of as long as it's not firsthand 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU!!

Okay so this is what we're gonna do 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

You already have this planned out?

 

Yugyummy 🍕

I wasn't kidding when I said I think about this 20/6

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

You must have a bad love life if you're so invested in someone else's

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Oh honey trust me my love life is perfectly fine 

Now don't answer

My plan is long and it’s gonna take a while to type it all out

°•°•°•°•°

Changkyunie!!!

[Img.5720.jpg]

 

Toilet-hyung 🐯

Wtf

WHEN DID YOU TAKE THAT???

 

Changkyunie!!!

Just now 

 

Toilet-hyung 🐯

WHY?

WHERE ARE YOU?

CAN I GET A FULL BODY PIC?

And how tf does Kookie have boobs

 

Changkyunie!!!

Oh wow I didn't think you'd be this desperate 

And it's called contour 

 

Toilet-hyung 🐯

What was that

 

Changkyunie!!!

You don't know what contour is? 

Do you not watch makeup tutorials? How do you not know what contour is? 

 

Toilet-hyung 🐯

Not that, the first part 

And I'll have you know I'm a perfect amount of desperate 

 

Changkyunie!!!

Mmmhhhmmmm

Anyway

Jungkook as a girl 

You like??

*wiggles eyebrows*

 

Toilet-hyung 🐯

Stop being an emo tumblr user pls it gives me secondhand embarrassment

And why do you wanna know if I find Jungkookie hot in a wig and contoured boobs

Are you gonna tell him???

 

Changkyunie!!!

Lol no I'm just asking 

We're going out tonight btw 

Gonna try to scam some old desperate dudes out of money they don't need 

 

Toilet-hyung 🐯

You guys are idols why do you need to scam people out of money?

 

Changkyunie!!!

Hey that's what Jungkook said lol

And it was Yugyeom's idea he's taking us to some club he heard had a lot of rich visitors

 

Toilet-hyung 🐯

...

What club?

 

Changkyunie!!!

Why do you wanna know

 

Toilet-hyung 🐯

There's nothing wrong with wanting to know where my cute maknae is going to with the devil's incarnates 

 

Changkyunie!!!

Wow rude

And I'll have you know I've won the 'World's Best Angel' award for two years now and hyungs said I'm in first place to win it again this year 

 

Toilet-hyung 🐯

Your hyungs are spoiling you with useless awards I hope you know that 

 

Changkyunie!!!

Well clearly your hyungs don't spoil you enough you bitter old man 

 

Toilet-hyung 🐯

Watch it 

Now tell me where you guys are headed 

 

Changkyunie!!!

Forget it I was gonna tell you but you insulted my rightfully earned award so now I'm not saying shit 

 

Toilet-hyung 🐯

WAIT I'M SORRY 

 

Changkyunie!!!

BYE 

 

Toilet-hyung 🐯

COME BACK!!

YOU BRAT DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS 

°•°•°•°•°

 Kyunie-hyung 🐺

I think Tae likes Jungkook but I can't be too sure 

We're gonna have to run more tests 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Don't worry we have all the time in the world 

Let's leave this for another day tho I wanna hurry up and go enjoy myself for the night 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Yeah 

Where are you btw 

I went to the bathroom and you disappeared as soon as I was out 

Jungkook didn't even notice when you left apparently 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

I'm in the kitchen 

I was hungry so I came to look for a snack and found Hoseok-hyung making ramen 

He said he'd share it with me so here I am waiting patiently 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Oohh tell hyung to make one for me too

And Jungkook 

We'll be there in a few I'm gonna fix Jungkook's wig

 

Yugyummy 🍕 

Alrighty 

Don't take long or I'll eat your serving 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)

Chapter Text

Seokjin & The 6 Memes 

TaeTae has removed Belieber4life from the chat

TaeTae 

CODE RED 

CODE RED 

CODE RED

 

CrabKing 

What the hell is a code red 

 

HOBIHOBI 

We never made codes Tae what are you on about 

 

SugaTheGrouch 

Oh thank god I was starting to feel bad for not remembering what code red meant 

 

TaeTae 

GUYS 

JUNGKOOK IS OUT IN THE WORLD DRESSED LIKE THIS 

[Img.5720.jpg]

AND CHANGKYUN THE LITTLE DEVIL WON'T TELL ME WHERE THEY'RE GOING 

 

KylieJennerWho?

WHAT 

WHAT IF OUR BABY BOY GETS KIDNAPPED 

 

SugaTheGrouch 

He's an adult hyung 

 

KylieJennerWho?

DRESSED LIKE A 5 COURSE MEAL I DON'T DOUBT FOR A SECOND PEOPLE WANT TO GET THEIR SLIMY HANDS ON HIM 

 

CrabKing

Kook looks good tho 

Do you have a full body pic?

 

TaeTae 

No 

Changkyun didn't send me one because I insulted him 

 

CrabKing 

Of course 

Why am I not surprised 

 

Jiminie 

Leave him alone 

Tae probably insulted him on accident 

 

TaeTae 

Nah I did it on purpose

Kid's been annoying me with Pepe The Frog memes merged with Hyungwon's face 

 

HOBIHOBI 

OHMYGAWD I'VE BEEN SENDING THOSE TO HYUNGWON 

I'M SO GLAD HE USES THEM 

 

TaeTae

Oh shit I just remembered something 

Jungkook's Snapchat location is still activated 

Jiminie if you're not ready by the time I head out then you're staying behind 

 

Jiminie 

HOLD ON I'M EATING 

 

TaeTae 

SHOVE THOSE DUMPLINGS DOWN YOUR THROAT AND PUT ON SOME SHOES CUZ WE BOUTA STALK OUR MAKNAE 

LESS GETTIT

TaeTae has added Belieber4life to the chat

 °•°•°•°•°

Taehyung and Jimin stood outside the place Jungkook's last bitmoji was seen on the map. It was a chilly night and it made Taehyung regret coming outside, but only a little bit. 

"Has he moved?" Taehyung asked through a shiver, annoyance lacing his tone. 

"Nope," was Jimin's muttured response. 

He shivered at another breeze, then he sent another Snapchat to Jungkook in hopes that the boy would open it and expose his location. 

"Why were they even here in the first place?" muttured Tae as he took a good look around the neighborhood they were currently in. 

The street was mostly empty, a few cars here and there parked in front of the quiet houses. There was also a small plaza of stores not that far away, which is where Taehyung thinks Jungkook and his friends might have stopped by. 

Once again, Taehyung shivered and dug his naked hands deeper into the padded jacket he wore. 

"Well...Jungkook's dressed as a girl. There's a convenience store nearby. He probably stopped by to buy pepper spray or something. Who knows?" 

Taehyung nodded. "Yeah, that's probably it. Makes sense."

Jimin's phone dinged with a notification and both men eagerly looked at the locked phone screen with Jungkook's snapchat notification being the only notification Jimin got so far. 

Jimin opened it and carefully looked at the picture. It was a dark night but there were plenty of lights near Jungkook which was a big help. Jimin struggled a bit, but eventually he found something useful.

"He's not far from here according to his map. We just need to find this street," Jimin explained as he pointed at the street sign in the picture. 

Taehyung nodded. "Let's go, I want to get some place warm already. I feel like my fingers are gonna fall off."

They walked further down the street and Taehyung stopped when he spotted something interesting close by.

Neatly hanging on the front gate of someone's house was a sign. A very enticing sign that drew Taehyung in immediately.

Puppies for sale!!

Knock on the door and we'll gladly work something out 

"Chim," Taehyung murmured, his eyes still stuck on the sign. Tae reached out to grab Jimin's sleeve making the older stop in his tracks. "Chim, look at this."

Taehyung dragged his boyfriend up to the house only a few steps away and Jimin frowned when Taehyung opened the gate and stepped into the small front yard.

"Tae, where are you taking me?" Jimin asked.

"Don't panic, okay? Just trust me." 

And that's how they ended up on the front porch of a stranger's house. It wasn't until Taehyung knocked on the door that Jimin noticed the sign hanging on the opened gate. His eyes widened at the realization that hit him. 

Before he could drag Taehyung away, the door opened and there stood a nice looking lady smiling politely at them, a slightly confused frown wrinkling her face. 

"May I help you?" she asked. 

Taehyung berightened when he noticed two tiny puppies running around their mother, a slightly big Pomeranian dog that stood behind the legs of the woman. 

"Are you still selling puppies?" Taehyung asked excitedly. 

The frown disappeared and a genuine smile took place. "Of course. Come in." 

She stepped aside and Taehyung dragged in an uncooperative Jimin. And all that ran through Jimin's head was, Hyungs are gonna kill us when we get back.

 

Chapter Text

Seokjin & The 6 Memes 

TaeTae

Seokjin-hyung

Beautiful boy 

Worldwide Handsome 

The best person to ever exist 

My favorite hyung nobody can compare to 

Jimin and I have something really important to tell you 

 

Jiminie 

Oh hell no 

Don't bring me into this mess 

This falls on you and only you 

Take responsibility for your mistakes 

 

TaeTae 

JIMIN!!

I THOUGHT WE WERE IN THIS TOGETHER 

 

SugaTheGrouch

What the hell did you do Taehyung 

 

KylieJennerWho?

I'm scared 

It's been so long since I've felt this emotion 

It's exciting tbh 

 

Belieber4life

Hyung don't be emo that's my job 

You'll leave me unemployed, have some sympathy 

 

Jiminie 

JUNGKOOK'S NOT DEAD YET HURRAY!!

 

SugaTheGrouch

Taehyung what did you do

 

HOBIHOBI

Jiminie 

What's that lump under your covers 

OHSHIR

IT MOCED 

OH FUCK ITS MOVING 

 

Jiminie

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!?!

 

HOBIHOBI

WHO CARES THERES SOMETHINF IN YOUR BED AND IT LOOKS DANGEROUS

IT BARKEDOMG

Wait

JIMIN WHY IS THERE A FURBALL IN YOUR BED AND WHY IS IT SO FUCKING ADORABLE

 

KylieJennerWho?

Excuse me what 

WHAT?!

 

SugaTheGrouch

Taehyung did you buy a dog and not tell us 

 

TaeTae

Well I was about to tell you so it's not like I was going to keep him a secret 

 

KylieJennerWho?

TAEHYUNG WHAT THE HELL 

WE HAD AN AGREEMENT THAT WE WOULDN'T GET ANY PETS YET 

 

TaeTae 

BUT HYUNG 

THE LADY GAVE HIM TO ME FOR FREE BECAUSE NOBODY WANTED TO BUY HIM BUT SHE COULDN'T CARE FOR IT 

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER HYUNG 

SHE WAS SO DESPERATE TO GIVE HIM A GOOD HOME 

I JUST HAD TO TAKE HIM INTO MY CARE 

 

Jiminie 

He's lying hyung 

There was a sign outside the lady's house and Taehyung dragged me there and he paid nearly 200 dollars cash for the dog 

 

HOBIHOBI

I'M IN LOVE 

 

SugaTheGrouch

You guys are too easy I hope y'all don't rub off on me 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Everybody gather in the living room 

Hobi, bring the furball with you 

We're having a team meeting and you can't get away 

Well except Jungkook cuz he's still out 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Joonies asleep should I wake him up 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Yeah 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Can I do it by shoving ice down his pants

 

KylieJennerWho?

You can rub an ice cube on his neck

And maybe his nipples 

Nothing more nothing less don't get carried away 

 

SugaTheGrouch

>:) we'll be right there don't mind the curses you're about to hear 

Chapter Text

"I should probably get going now," Jungkook said one hour before the clock hits midnight. 

Changkyun nodded and rubbed his eyes, face now rid of makeup since he had cleaned up with Jungkook the moment they got back to the Monsta X dorm. Well, all Jungkook did was clean his face because he was enjoying his time in the dress a bit more than anticipated, and he didn’t want to part ways just yet.

"I'll walk you to the door," Changkyun said.

He gently placed his laptop on the free space next to him on the sofa and stood up with Jungkook. The younger grabbed his backpack -the one where he had his regular clothes stored in- and grabbed his phone from where it was charging with Hyunwoo's charger next to the tv.

"Go straight home," Changkyun said sternly once they got to the front door. "And don't do anything stupid."

Jungkook scoffed and looked away from his hyung. "I wouldn't do anything stupid," he said. "That was in the past. I'm a brand new person. I've matured."

Changkyun laughed sarcastically. "I don't even think you believed yourself when you said that." 

Jungkook pouted. "I'll see you later," he mumbled. 

"Take care, Jungkook-ah," Changkyun said and then closed the door. 

Jungkook gripped onto the straps of his backpack and made his way down the hallway towards the elevator. 

When he stepped outside the apartment complex, he noticed a skateboard mixed in with a few bikes that were chained to a bike rack. 

He thought back to the multiple Tony Hawk compilations he watched with Changkyun right before he had to leave. 

Jungkook looked around, and noticed he was alone. He quickly picked up the skateboard and rushed off to the skate park a few blocks away. 

°•°•°•°•°

Seokjin & The 6 Memes 

Belieber4life

Is anybody awake? 

Please answer 

 

SugaTheGrouch

You know I'm always up at this time what's up 

You home yet? 

I didn't hear you come in 

 

Belieber4life

Um....no 

I need your help tho 

Don't tell Seokjin-hyung please 

Let him read the convo and find out himself

 

SugaTheGrouch

Alright what do you need me to help with

 

Belieber4life

Okay don't panic alright 

But I need you to take me to a clinic 

I fucked up and am in need of medical attention

 

SugaTheGrouch

Jungkook what 

Wtf

 

Belieber4life

I can't stutter through text hyung how can you misunderstand me 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Tell me you're joking 

 

Belieber4life

Oh buddy I wish I was 

 

SugaTheGrouch 

What the hell happened 

 

Belieber4life

Okay so it started earlier after Yugyeom and Changkyun decided that 2 full course meals and a rollex watch was enough scamming 

We went back to Changkyun's dorm and decided to watch some compilation videos 

We came across Tony Hawk tricks 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Oh no 

 

Belieber4life 

Oh yes 

Yugyeom left and we kept watching a shit ton of skateboarding compilations but I really wanted to try Tony's tricks 

So I left Changkyun's dorm and found a skateboard outside his building and I took it 

My dumbass thought that with my young body and determined mindset I'd be able to accomplish a Tony trick 

Turns out having a young body and determined mindset didn't help me at all 

I rode down some stairs and my ankle is now fucked up and my knees are bleeding a lot and so are my palms

I don't think it's that serious but I want to get my wounds dissinfected 

Or just make sure I didn't permanently fuck up my career 

I would have called Changkyun or Yugyeom but it's late and I doubt they're awake 

 

SugaTheGrouch

You better wish hyung isn't in the mood for reading missed conversations otherwise you're dead 

Where are you rn I'm coming to get you 

 

Belieber4life

uwu hyung I knew I could count on you 

°•°•°•°•°

"You're lucky you're young," said the nurse as she patched up the now dissinfected wound on Jungkook's right knee. "You didn't hurt yourself too badly. Just a twisted ankle and a few scrapes that are all taken care of now. I suggest you try not to walk on your hurt ankle for a few days, and ice it every now and then," she explained kindly.

"You're lucky we're on break," muttured Yoongi from his spot on the chair next to the medical bed Jungkook was sitting on.

"I'll heal up just in time for schedules," Jungkook assured easily. "Don't worry, hyung."

Yoongi sighed and slumped in his seat. "I can't help but worry when it's you that's doing unwise decisions." Yoongi finally looked the maknae up and down, taking in what he was wearing. "Jungkook, why are you still wearing a dress?"

"You can stop judging me now, hyung. It ain't cute." 

°•°•°•°•°

Seokjin & The 6 Memes 

KylieJennerWho?

Jungkook you son of a bitch 

Why IN THE HELL would you try to do Tony tricks when you know you can't use a skateboard for SHIT 

Are you an idiot?

Do you have a death wish?

Because that's what it's looking like to me you little asshole

Stop putting your life at risk or I'll end it with my own two hands 

 

HOBIHOBI

I don't know if that was supposed to be rude or caring 

 

CrabKing

I thought I was the king of being passive aggressive but I guess Seokjin-hyung is doing a really good job at trying to take my title

 

KylieJennerWho?

You better fuck off before I get the sudden urge to infertile my group mates

 

TaeTae 

Isn't that what you've done to all of us already 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Kim Taehyung istg you better stop talking or I'm going to end you 

 

Jiminie

We're a package deal so you either kill us both or none 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Guess BTS will have 2 less vocals 

Maybe I'll finally get the lines I've wanted for so long

AND WHERE IS THAT ADORABLE TWAT HIDING JEON JUNGKOOK TEXT BACK DAMMIT

 

Belieber4life

I just woke up give me the time to take in reality

And yeah I guess you can say I'm in the middle of my emo rebellious stage where I constantly endanger my life just for the hell of it because life is short and I want to enjoy it while it lasts 

Sue me hyung 

But yeah don't worry I'm fine 

Yoongi-hyung took me to the doctor and they patched me up real good 

Although I won't be able to walk around much cuz of my ankle but that's what I get 

 

KylieJennerWho?

I hate you but I’m glad you're okay 

Now that that's over 

How is everyone this fine morning 

 

HOBIHOBI

I'm glad you asked because I couldn't keep this to myself anymore 

I woke up and Jimin and Tae we're making out on my bed, right next to my face 

It was kinda hot so I'm not complaining but like...it took me off guard and I wanted y'all to know 

 

Jimin

;) glad you enjoyed the little show 

COMPLETELY unintentional

 

Belieber4life

Yeah because you and Taehyung don’t have your own rooms huh

One floor beneath Hoseok-hyung’s bedroom

Where you can privately make out in

What a shame 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Those two have no shame I'm sort of amazed 

 

CrabKing

I'm more amazed at the fact that Tae and Jiminie have been dating for a total of nearly 3 weeks and their sex life is super active

Like usually couples wait a bit before trusting each other with their most vulnerable state yet here they are getting caught having sex anywhere in the house 

 

Jiminie 

You guys seem to forget Tae and I are soulmates and have been since we befriended each other years ago

We've trusted each other for so long now it isn't anything new

What is new is getting dick whenever we please but that's a good thing 

 

TaeTae

Also our relationship started with sex and I'm sure as hell going to keep that aspect in the relationship until my dick falls off or stops functioning 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Ah the wonders of physical intimacy

 

HOBIHOBI

And emotional attachment

 

SugaTheGrouch

Because those are the greatest things you can get out of life right 

 

Jiminie

I'm 98% sure you said that sarcastically but I'll pretend it wasn't just for the sake of keeping out negativity from this chat 

 

HOBIHOBI

That's gonna be impossible 

Yoongi-hyung radiates negativity half the time 

 

CrabKing 

And the other half is all gummy smiles and adorable sweater paws 

 

Belieber4life 

(●♡∀♡) 

Joonie-hyung sees it too!!!

 

SugaTheGrouch

Awe thanks guys 

 

CrabKing 

You're welcome baby 

 

SugaTheGrouch

W

Wow 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Did we just experience Yoongi get so flustered he stuttered through text?

Yes, yes we did 

 

Belieber4life 

You don't know what it feels like to be called baby by Joonie-hyung 

Don't worry Yoongi-hyung, I understand your flusteredness

 

SugaTheGrouch

(*゚ー゚)ゞ

 

Jiminie

I wonder who would top between Namgi 

Cuz i feel like they're strong switches, but at the same time Yoongi looks like a power bottom 

 

Belieber4life

Wtf hyung shut up

 

Jiminie 

Put a dick in my mouth and we'll see 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Be less gross you twink ass looking ass bitch

 

Jiminie 

Funny coming from the guy that moans like a bimbo porn actress from America

 

KylieJennerWho? has removed Jiminie from the chat

 

KylieJennerWho?

It's that time of year again where we removed the toxic people from our lives 

 

HOBIHOBI

LMAO hyung you’re so petty 

 

SugaTheGrouch has added Jiminie to the chat

 

SugaTheGrouch

Jiminie's not wrong though 

My room is right next to yours hyung 

The walls are thin

I hear everything 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Don't make me kick you out too, bitch 

 

HOBIHOBI

Don't you just love it when we make it our job to expose each other? 

 

CrabKing 

If we're going to expose each other, I have a few things I'd like to put out in the open 

 

HOBIHOBI

Joonie 

Baby 

Remember how I'm your favorite? 

 

CrabKing 

Really? I thought it was Jimin 

 

Jiminie 

:)

ILY hyung 

 

KylieJennerWho?

I'm just saying, I've been working out recently and with the slightest slip one of my band members won't be able to get it up anymore 

 

CrabKing 

Chill hyung I wasn't targeting you 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Good

 

CrabKing 

But reverse psychology works great so here's the tea on Seokjin-hyung 

 

KylieJennerWho?

NAMJOON YOU CUTE PIECE OF SHIT WHERE ARE YOU I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU A LESSON 

 

CrabKing 

Lol good luck trying to find me 

Anyway 

So Taehyung had lent his iPad to Seokjin-hyung for something and hyung never gave it back 

Tae didn't want to ask hyung for it because he's been busy and didn't want to distract him, bless our Taehyungie's soul but he also didn't want to go into hyungs room because he's scared of what hyung would do if he found out 

So we played rock paper scissors, I lost, and I had to look for his iPad in hyung's room 

And get this

Hyung is hiding a huge stash of hentai under his bed 

 

TaeTae

NAMJOON-HYUNG WTF SEOKJIN WILL KILL US BOTH 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Ohmygod WHAT 

 

Jiminie 

I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS FROM SEOKJIN-HYUNG 

JUNGKOOKIE YEAH BUT NOT SEOKJIN-HYUNG 

 

HOBIHOBI

THIS WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY YOU PERV

 

KylieJennerWho?

Okay wait hold on 

It would make sense if you'd have said 'American homoerotic magazines' or 'sex toy collection' because I definitely have those things 

But I definitely don't have hentai magazines 

I watch it sure but I don't read it 

The sounds do it for me, not the pictures 

 

HOBIHOBI

Same

 

CrabKing 

Wait what 

Really? 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

Yeah really 

Hentai isn't for me if it isn't in video format 

 

CrabKing 

Then who's magazines were in your room? 

 

Jiminie 

Jungkookie has been reaaaalllyy quiet

 

TaeTae 

He's probably taking a shit 

 

HOBIHOBI

Nah he still answers us when he goes pooping 

He sends us selfies remember 

To show off how good he looks while taking a dump 

 

TaeTae 

Oh yeah true true 

GUYS 

I WALKED OUT OF MY ROOM AND JUNGKOOK IS WOBBLING DOWN THE STAIRS WITH THE STASH OF HENTAI 

I THINK HE'S TRYING TO GET RID OF THE EVIDENCE 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Are you hiding?

 

TaeTae

YEAH I DON'T WANT TO EXPOSE MYSELF 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Hold him down and don't let go I'm almost home 

I'm gonna teach that cutie pie a lesson for using me to hide his shame 

 

TaeTae

ON IT 

I NEED BACKUP HE MAY BE HOPPING AROUND ON ONE LEG BUT HE'S STILL A STRONG MAKNAE

 

Jiminie 

I'll be right there let me just wash off my morning face mask 

 

CrabKing 

Hyung is Jungkookie in big trouble 

 

KylieJennerWho? 

Semi

 

HOBIHOBI

You're hot when you're dominant you know that? 

 

KylieJennerWho?

No homo?

 

HOBIHOBI

Pro homo

 

KylieJennerWho?

Lol k

 

SugaTheGrouch

Ouch 

I just got flashbacks to when I was friendzoned in highschool 

 

HOBIHOBI

 (⁎˃ᆺ˂)

Chapter Text

"Well?"

Jungkook huffed childishly and looked away from his hyungs who were gathered in front of him blocking his escape. Jungkook almost felt like Eren Jaeger looking up at the huge Titan that looked at him before destroying the wall.

"Was it really necessary to tie him down with Taehyungie's ties?" asked Namjoon with a concerned frown.

"Joonie," Hoseok said placing a comforting hand on Namjoon's arm and unconsciously squeezing his bicep. "It took you, me, and Taehyungie to stop him from running out the door, and we had an advantage. Of course it was necessary to tie him down." 

Namjoon nodded in understanding, a small pout forming on his lips.

"Why'd you hide those hentai magazines in my room?" Seokjin questioned, his attention back on the maknae. 

"I don't have to talk to you," Jungkook replied firmly.

"You really think you'll survive this game?" asked Jimin as he stepped up beside Seokjin. "You think this bravado act will last?" 

"I know it will," said Jungkook confidently. 

"We don't have time!" Taehyung exagerated, and suddenly, water was sprayed at Jungkook's face. 

He blinked at his hyung who was trying his best not to laugh at the maknae's shocked expression. 

"What the hell hyung!" whined Jungkook. 

Taehyung shrugged carelessly. "You asked for it."

"I want to talk to the good cop," Jungkook said.

Seokjin laughed. He leaned down and gripped onto Jungkook's chin gently with just enough force to have the younger look him in the eye. "We're all bad cops here," the oldest in Bangtan said. "And we'll get you to spill why you tried making a fool of me."

"Fucking try me, I'll never crack," Jungkook gritted out. 

Seokjin smirked. "Challenge accepted." He let go and straightened up, turning to look at the small audience made up of their group members. "You have 10 minutes to get him to spill. Anything's allowed as long as it doesn't physically or emotionally damage him. Winner gets to eat my cooking for a whole week, no strings attached. Call me when it's my turn." 

Jungkook felt himself pale at the sudden devilish glint in Jimin's eye, the playfulness in Taehyung's. Jungkook was really regretting ever being a good friend. 

°•°•°•°•°

Awkward Bitches

Kookie 🍪

Yugyeom you fuckface I hate you with all my heart 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

How sad Alexa play Living It Up

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Eeyyyy you know what's good 

 

Kookie 🍪

I HID YOUR DAMN HENTAI LIKE YOU ASKED ME AND SEOKJIN-HYUNG FOUND OUT I PUT IT IN HIS ROOM AND THOUGHT I WAS TRYING TO MAKE A FOOL OF HIM 

HE GOT EVERYONE TO TORTURE MY POOR INNOCENT SOUL AND FOR WHAT??

FRIENDSHIP?!

IT WASN'T WORTH IT YOU ASS

I FELT THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT I'D FEEL AND IT WAS ALL THANKS TO YOU

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Oh please it can't be that bad 

 

Kookie 🍪

Oh it was bad

Namjoon scolded me because what ‘I did’ to Seokjin was rude and it depressed the hell out of me to see the hyung I look up to become so disappointed in me 

Taehyung wouldn't shut up about how he lost his virginity to Jimin and Jimin himself was going very into detail of his first night with Taehyung 

Yoongi kept playing with my nipples because apparently he had a feeling they were sensitive and wanted to put his theory to the test (WHICH WASN'T FUN FOR ME I WAS SO CLOSE TO GETTING HARD)

And Hoseok was the nicest because he just talked to me but he kept spraying water at me every other sentence and it was super annoying 

Seokjin-hyung though 

Oof I fucking hate him now

He fed me toothpaste Oreos 

Who the hell thought it was a good idea to show hyung pranking vids honestly that was the biggest mistake ever 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Ouch 

That's rough man are you good??

 

Yugyummy 🍕

What a brave soul Jungkookie, do you want me to reward you with a medal? 

 

Kookie 🍪

I fucking SUFFERED for you

I kept my mouth shut because you were too ashamed to keep your hentai at your own house even though you only have ONE FUCKING ROOMMATE 

AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME 

BY DISMISSING MY HARDSHIPS?!

THAT'S FUCKED UP MAN

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Dude Jinyoung looks for dirt on me all the time if it means making me the laughingstock of the group 

Of course I'm going to get rid of any evidence that'll give Jinyoung-hyung the chance to poke fun at me, especially when I know I've been getting on his nerves recently 

 

Kookie 🍪

Oh my God you fucking asshole 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

You're being dramatic 

At least now you know Yoongi can get you hard by playing with your nipples 

Oh and you could have told them the hentai magazines were mine

I just didn't want my own group members to know because they'd never let me live it down 

 

Kookie 🍪

I fucking hate you Kim Yugyeom 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Love you, bud 

 °•°•°•°•°

Jungshook O.O 

Yugyeom made me hide his huge stash of hentai because he didn't want you and the others to somehow find it 

There was so much tentacle porn like wtf Gyeom

BAMBAM

HOLY SHIT 

WHAT 

REALLY?!?!

WHAT THE HELL

OMG THIS IS GOLD

YOU'RE THE BEST KOOK I'M SO GLAD YOU TOLD ME ABOUT THIS 

WE'LL NEVER LET HIM LIVE THIS DOWN

°•°•°•°•°

Awkward Bitches

Kookie 🍪

Yeah :)

Love you too, man 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

Why does that smiley face look so omnimous

Marty I'm scared 

Chapter Text

  Seokjin & The 6 Memes

HOBIHOBI

GUYS GUYS GUYS GUESS WHAT 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Shut up it's too early to read all caps 

 

CrabKing 

It's nearly 4 in the afternoon, did you just wake up from a nap? 

 

SugaTheGrouch

I refuse to answer 

 

CrabKing 

Cute 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Ugh that convo was way too domestic for me 

Take that shit elsewhere it's gonna give me depression 

 

Belieber4life

Again, stop stealing my job, bitch 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Hyung privileges

I'm gonna use them whenever I can so fuck off, coconut head

 

HOBIHOBI

EVERYONE SHUT UP 

WE WERE IN THE WRONG

BAMBAM SEND ME A MESSAGE AND APPARENTLY YUGYEOM MADE JUNGKOOK HIDE HIS HENTAI COLLECTION 

JUNGKOOK WAS INNOCENT AND WE TREATED HIM SO BAD 

 

Jiminie 

Oh no Jungkook!! We're sooooo sorry 

 

CrabKing 

The obvious thing to do is apologize so just tell us what you want and we'll deliver 

No matter what it is 

 

Belieber4life

Anything? 

 

SugaTheGrouch

I don’t like this

 

Belieber4life 

ψ(`∇´)ψ

Since I’m feeling generous today, I’ll give you 10 seconds to sacrifice one of you 

Majority vote wins 

 

Jiminie

Taehyung 

 

HOBIHOBI 

Taehyung 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Yoongi 

 

CrabKing

Taehyung 

 

SugaTheGrouch 

Taehyung 

Hyung wtf we agreed on Taehyung 

Why would you betray me like this 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Oh Yoongi you should know how the real world works by now 

 

TaeTae

WTF WHY WOULD YOU DO ME THIS DIRTY

IVE BEEN NOTHING BUT NICE TO YOU 

ESPECIALLY YOU CHIM 

 

Jiminie

Sorry Tae you’re the only one missing from the living room and we all decided to go for it 

Well, almost everyone 

I guess Seokjin-hyung wanted to be a little bitch with Yoongi or something 

 

KylieJennerWho?

I will hit you Park Jimin 

 

Jiminie 

I will enjoy it Kim Seokjin ;)

 

Belieber4life

Taehyung I expect you in my room after lunch 

I got something fun planned for us 

 

TaeTae

Oh yes daddy!

 

Belieber4life

...are you sure you don’t want to send someone less shameless? 

I promise to go easy on you

 

KylieJennerWho?

I would send Yoongi but he’s being very stubborn 

 

SugaTheGrouch 

Heh good luck Kookie 

 

CrabKing 

GOOD LUCK

 

HOBIHOBI

And may the odds be ever in your favor 

*bows*

 

 °•°•°•°•°

 Awkward Bitches

Kookie 🍪

GUYS 

GUYS I’M FREAKING OUT

I’M FREAKING OUT BAD GUYS HELP ME

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Well hello to you too Jungkookie 

 

Kookie 🍪

HYUNG PLEASE

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Oh shit it’s serious if he calls you hyung @Changkyun

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺 

Now I’m frEakINg OUt WHAT THE FUUUUUCK

 

Yugyummy 🍕

OKAY EVERYBODY CALM DOWN 

JUNGKOOK EXPLAIN WHAT’S WRONG BEFORE CHANGKYUN STRESSES HIMSELF TO DEATH

 

Kookie 🍪

OKAY

So you know how I told BamBam about your Hentai mangas right

Well BamBam told Hobi-hyung and he told the group chat 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

YOU ASSHOLE I JUST REMEMBERED THAT HAPPENED 

My hyungs had a field day and told ahgases on vlive so now they keep tagging me on a bunch of hentai on twitter and instagram

DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARASSING IT IS TO BE IN MY SHOES 

 

Kookie 🍪 

You asked for it 

Back to me please 

My hyungs felt bad that they tortured me unnecessarily so they said they’d do what they could to make it up to me 

I told them to sacrifice one member 

Out of all of them they chose Taehyung and I swear they did it on purpose 

So I wanted to embarrass him by making him dance to girl group songs in the dress Changkyun lent me that I still haven’t given back 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

I expect it back in my closet in 3 days 

 

Kookie 🍪

OKAY CAN YOU JUST LET ME FINISH MY STORY 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

You may proceed 

 

Kookie 🍪

So I forgot how shameless and confident Taehyung is 

He had a blast doing his thing and then Full Moon came on and I did NOT expect him to know the choreo PERFECTLY 

AND THEN HE CHANGED IT UP SO THAT HE WAS GIVING ME A LAP DANCE 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Lol did you get a boner

 

Kookie 🍪

YES

AND HE LAUGHED AT ME WHEN HE NOTICED

SO I PANICKED AND PUSHED HIM OUT OF MY ROOM AND LOCKED THE DOOR 

NOW I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO 

PLEASE HELP ME 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

What do you want us to do about it? 

 

Kookie 🍪

Come sneak me out or something 

Oh wait I just remembered I hid soju in my closet 

brb gonna drink away the embarrassment called my life 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

No don’t do that it’s unhealthy 

 

Kookie 🍪

Says the one that ate away his feelings because Wonho scolded you for eating 4 of his ramen cups 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

YOU DONT KNOW HOW HEARTBREAKING IT IS TO HAVE THE PERSON YOU CHERISH THE MOST BE SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU 

 

Kookie 🍪

UM HELLO?!?! 

DID YOU NOT READ MY MESSAGES FROM YESTERDAY???

NAMJOON SCOLDED ME FOR TRYING TO MAKE MY HYUNG LOOK LIKE THE DUMBASS HE IS AND I NEARLY CRIED 

SO DONT COME AT ME WITH THAT SHIT 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

( ̄s ̄;

Do you want me to help you or not cuz it doesn’t look like it 

 

Kookie 🍪

Yes please 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Alright so I’ll go first

Yugyeom, you’ll be plan B so get ready 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

SIR YES SIR

 (`・ω・´)ゞ

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

ALRIGHT SOLDIER LETS MOVE OUT WE HAVE A MISSION TO ACCOMPLISH 

 

Kookie 🍪

I’m drunk (^▽^)

Chapter Text

“Someone open the damn door!” Seokjin yelled into the house when the soft knocks on the front door didn’t stop even after a minute passed. 

Taehyung - who was still trying to ease Jungkook into opening his bedroom door - turned to see Seokjin peeking out of Jimin’s room waiting for a response. 

“Jiminie is helping me cook lunch 2.0!” Yoongi’s yell came from behind the closed kitchen door. 

“We ate lunch half an hour ago! Why are you making more?” Seokjin yelled back.

”It’s called lunch 2.0 for a reason!” was Yoongi’s response. “And we’re gonna eat so much our abs disappear behind a soft layer of fat! We don’t have a comeback soon, let us indulge!”

Seokjin rolled his eyes, a small smile taking over his expression at the knowledge that his members weren’t holding back this break. “What about Hoseok?”

“I’m having me-time!” Hoseok said from behind the living room sofa. Taehyung giggled to himself at the sight of Hoseok’s wiggling toes peeking out from the side of the couch. 

“Well, I’m organizing Jimin’s closet and Jungkook is hiding away for some reason. Namjoon, Taehyung, what are you two doing?”

Taehyung didn’t get to answer because Namjoon did it first right after pausing the movie that played on the living room television. Namjoon smiled innocently and it made both Taehyung and Seokjin’s heart melt in fondness.

”I’m currently watching a lesbian French movie and the heated scenes are about to start. I don’t want to miss out.” 

Seokjin blinked in surprise, then nodded. He turned back to Taehyung. “Since all you’re doing is dressing like a girl to try and lure Jungkook out, you can go answer the door.” 

Taehyung wasn’t even given the chance to protest because Seokjin went back into Jimin’s room and closed the door.

With an agitated huff, Taehyung straightened out the dress that had wrinkled during the struggle of trying to stay in Jungkook’s room, and he childishly stomped his way to the front door. 

Taehyung grinned when he saw Changkyun standing on the other side with his hands behind his back and an adorable close mouthed smile with dimples on either cheek. 

“Changkyun! You little shit! I haven’t seen you in so long!” Taehyung exclaimed excitedly as he pulled Changkyun into a tight hug. 

Changkyun laughed awkwardly as he hugged back a lot less enthusiastically than the BTS member. 

“Our schedules never match, so it’s only a given,” he muttered into Taehyung’s shoulder where his face was being pressed against.

Taehyung pouted and nodded in agreement. He finally released the other from the tight grasp and Changkyun stepped back. 

“So, what are you doing here? Did you miss me so much that you had to visit?” teased Tae. 

Changkyun laughed and shook his head. “Jungkook invited me over. Mind if I come in?” 

Taehyung pursed his lips and his eyes narrowed on the rapper. “He invited you, huh,” murmured Taehyung, licking his lips in distaste afterwards. 

Changkyun noticed the sudden change in mood. “Um...yeah...he did.”

Taehyung nodded unconsciously, and it was obvious he got lost in thought for a second. Changkyun stood there nervously as he waited to see what would be the outcome. 

Suddenly, the bright atmosphere was back and a mischevious glint appeared in Taehyung’s eyes. 

“Has Jungkookie ever told you the rules of this house?” Taehyung asked suddenly. 

“It hasn’t come up in our conversations,” Changkyun murmured. 

“Well, Changkyunnie. In this household, if a guest wants to enter, they have to pass a test that the greeter suggests. Want to give it a try?” 

The Monsta X rapper nodded hesitantly and shifted in his spot. “What’s your test?” 

Taehyung looked down at himself and noticed the bandana he had wrapped around his wrist to spice up the outfit. He undid the knot and began to properly fold the bandana into a blindfold. 

“How about a blind taste testing challenge? If you get 4 out of the 6 things correct, I’ll let you in. Keep in mind, not everything will be food. Are you up for it?” 

Changkyun blinked, his mind empty of thoughts and his heart racing at the sudden fear spiking adrenaline in his system. 

Is it worth it? he thought. Nah.

Changkyun laughed awkwardly. ”I’ll just tell Jungkook I’ll come back another day,” he said as he slowly stepped away from the front door. 

Taehyung grinned genuinely and shoved the bandana inside the dress leaving a small dent in the chest area. “That’s too bad, I was looking forward to playing with you. I guess it can’t be helped.” He sighed and placed his hands on his hips. “Give me a hug before you leave, Changkyunnie! Who knows when’s the next time we’ll meet!” 

“Okay,” Changkyun agreed timidly as he stepped forward to hug the BTS vocal.

°•°•°•°•°

Awkward Bitches 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

I’m so sorry Jungkookie I backed out 

 

Kookie 🍪

What?!

Why!?

What happened??

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Taehyung was like an anime character istg

His whole mood shifted and this sudden chill crawled up my spine warning me to run away or else I would regret it 

I’m sorry I gave in to my instincts but you should always listen to them

 

Kookie 🍪

😔  

It’s okay hyung 

You tried 

You deserve a medal for being so brave and going up to Taehyung unarmed 

 

Yugyummy🍕

Guess it’s my turn 

I’ll be right there Jungkookie just you wait for me 

°•°•°•°•°

Yugyeom, unlike Changkyun, has been over to Jungkook’s house plenty of times before and he knew the drill already. 

So when he got to the BTS house, instead of heading up to the front door, Yugyeom walked to the side of the house and went for Jungkook’s window. 

He looked inside and searched for Jungkook only to find him sitting at his desk watching My Hero Academia, two empty bottles of soju on the floor next to his foot. 

Yugyeom sighed deeply. “You big baby,” he muttered as he pulled his phone out and called Jungkook’s number. 

He watched as Jungkook turned around in search for the ringing. Finally, he grabbed it from the bed next to the desk and answered the call. “Hello?”

”Open the window.”

Jungkook made a 180 turn and grinned when he saw Yugyeom standing outside. The BTS vocalist simply ended the call and padded over to unlock the window. 

“You came!” Jungkook exclaimed happily with a cute smile crinkling his eyes.

”Of course I came, you were having a gay panic and trying to drink it away,” Yugyeom retorted. He entered the room successfully, then sent Changkyun an update. 

“Are you good? Not drunk yet?” 

“Oh I’m a mess. A gay mess. A pretty gay mess. Who drank two sojus. Can I drink a third? Probably...”

Yugyeom laughed. “I’m not letting you drink more.” He grabbed his older friend by the wrist and pulled him to the bed where he gently laid the older male down. “Try to get some sleep. Want me to get you anything before you knockout?”

”I want water with ice,” murmured Jungkook. “And some gummies...maybe some-“

”I’ll get you the water, just hold on.” 

Jungkook smiled and nodded, then let his head fall sideways on the pillow indicating he was finally letting himself relax.

With a nervous heart, Yugyeom braced himself for the worst as he opened Jungkook’s bedroom door slightly. He was met with Taehyung’s face looking in through the small gap, and that caught the GOT7 member off guard because Yugyeom yelled in surprised but Taehyung didn’t react at all. Almost as if he somehow already knew Yugyeom snuck in. As if he was expecting him.

“I didn’t think I’d see you here,” Taehyung said. “But I knew I heard your voice. Open the door, little one.” 

Yugyeom slammed the door shut without answering, and that only made Taehyung knock repeatedly. 

“Maybe I should just message Yoongi,” Yugyeom said to himself. Yeah, that was the safest option so far. 

Chapter Text

 Kyunie-hyung 🐺

How’s Kook 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

He’s fine 

He was drunk when I got here so he passed out not long afterwards 

But he’ll survive I think 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

He better 

Who else am I going to bully into taking those twerking lessons with Jessi-noona?

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Clearly you need more lessons 

And more squat excercises 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺 

Says the king of flat asses 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Hey now hang on just a second there 

BamBam is the king of flat asses 

I’m second in command  

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Those two positions aren’t even in the same league 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Shut up 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Oh gtg

My photoshoot’s starting 

 

Yugyummy 🍕 

Good luck bro 

Knock them off their feet

Make then fall in love with you

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Ugh bro I don’t even try and the staff all love me 

It’s so tiring to be this fabulous but I guess I gotta live with it 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Lol have fun 

°•°•°•°•°

Fanboy-hyung 

You and Jungkookie missed our snack splurge, is everything alright? 

Neither of you have stepped outside the room, not even to go to the restroom

 

Tall GOT7 Maknae

Lol we good

Jungkook’s been out for like 2 hours

He was drunk when I got here

He drank 2 soju bottles he kept hidden in his room

 

Fanboy-hyung

Wow impressive 

Usually he can’t finish 2 bottles

Why’d he start drinking tho 

 

Tall GOT7 Maknae 

...I didn’t ask

 

Fanboy-hyung

Whatever

Can you please open the door

I promise I won’t do anything I just wanna check up on him

 

Tall GOT7 Maknae 

Sorry hyung 

I was given specific instructions from Jungkookie to keep you out until he wakes up 

 

Fanboy-hyung 

You’re useless 

 

Tall GOT7 Maknae 

And you’re an asshole 

 

Fanboy-hyung

Thanks

 

Tall GOT7 Maknae 

You’re welcome

 °•°•°•°•°

Seokjin & The 6 Memes

TaeTae

So

Apparently Jungkook drank nearly 2 soju bottles, passed out, and before that he gave Yugyeom specific instructions to not open the door for me 

 

HOBIHOBI 

Yugyeom’s here? Since when? 

 

Jiminie 

Like 2 hours ago? 

Yoongi made me give him and Jungkook lunch 2.0 and I clearly remember bitching to you about it 

 

CrabKing 

I’m not surprised Hoseok ignored you 

He did the same to me when I was passionately telling him my plans for world domination 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Joonie baby

None of us care about world domination 

 

CrabKing

:’(

 

TaeTae

GUYS

Focus on me please

This is important

I need one of you to help me sneak in

I wanna make sure Jungkookie’s okay

 

HOBIHOBI

[Has left the chat to cuddle with Joonie]

 

CrabKing

I rather not get the maknae to hold a grudge against me thanks

 

Jiminie 

He’d never be mad at you for too long, the kid loves you

 

CrabKing 

What a cutie 

 

TaeTae 

Jiminie? Will you help?

 

Jiminie 

Lol no

Sorry

Seokjin-hyung is making me help clean my room and I rather not anger him by leaving 

Oh and hyung says you’re dumb and to stop trying to sneak into Kookie’s room 

 

TaeTae

Yoongi-hyung?? 

 

HOBIHOBI

He won’t answer rn

He passed out in the living room floor after stuffing his stomach full and he still hasn’t woken up 

 

TaeTae 

UGH 

WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING IN THIS DAMN HOUSEHOLD 

 

KylieJennerWho?

Bitch what 

 

HOBIHOBI

I know you did not just say that 

 

TaeTae 

I sincerely apologize, please don’t hurt me 

I have a horny boyfriend to pleasure every night 

 

HOBIHOBI

Ewe 

 

Jiminie 

( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)

You like hearing about us you dirty boy don't even try to hide it

°•°•°•°•°

Fanboy-hyung 

Let me in 

 

Tall GOT7 Maknae

Nope

 

Fanboy-hyung 

I’ll get you more hentai 

 

Tall GOT7 Maknae

Are you trying to annoy me??

 

Fanboy-hyung

NO!

I’m trying to persuade you to let me in

 

Tall GOT7 Maknae 

Jungkookie said No

 

Fanboy-hyung

Don’t be such a wimp and open the damn door 

 

Tall GOT7 Mkane 

Not with that attitude 

 

Fanboy-hyung

UGH

°•°•°•°•°

Seokjin & The 6 Memes

TaeTae

I tried convincing Yugyeom with more anime porn but he didn’t budge 

Smh he’s making my life more difficult than it should be 

 

CrabKing 

I’m surprised he hasn’t blocked your number yet 

Like why keep connections with someone who keeps bringing up your past mistakes? 

Like I know I fucked up with that photo shoot Kyle! But it wasn’t my fault! How was I supposed to know they were trying to shove me into the soft side of the porn industry?!?!

 

TaeTae 

Joonie

Are you okay? 

 

CrabKing 

I need a fucking nap 

 

HOBIHOBI

Don’t worry about it Taehyungie I’ve got him 

And stop trying to force yourself into Jungkook’s room 

You’re probably stressing Yugyeom out with all that begging while he also has to take care of an intoxicated Kookie 

 

TaeTae 

( •̀ω•́ )

Fine 

°•°•°•°•°

TaeTae

( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ _ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ )

Jiminie 

 

Jiminie

Whats wrong baby 

 

TaeTae

Do you think I went too far?

What if Jungkook hates me now? 

What if I’m the reason he decided to get drunk? Because I stressed him out and made him feel like he needed to forget about things 

 

Jiminie 

Taehyung 

You’re fine okay 

Don’t do this to yourself 

Didn’t you say he got a boner?

That must mean something right?

 

TaeTae

But what if we’re wrong and jumped to conclusions 

 

Jiminie 

My gut says otherwise

I mean let’s think about it 

Jungkook knows that you and I are dating and he’s probably freaking out about doing something wrong 

Do you want to maybe slow down a bit?

Maybe try to woo another member? 

 

TaeTae

Aren’t we being greedy trying to make the others joins our relationship? 

 

Jiminie

Yeah

 

TaeTae

...

Aren’t you going to continue with something comforting?

 

Jiminie

Nope

We’re actually being greedy and I’ve accepted it, so you should too

 

TaeTae

I guess

Where are you btw  

I went to your room but Seokjin-hyung was the only one in there 

He’s going through your porn history btw

 

Jiminie

Lol let him do as he pleases 

He let me go get you ice cream once we saw you were getting down because Yugyeom wasn’t letting you see jungkook

 

TaeTae

(≧∇≦)/

True soulmates indeed 

Whoa

Jimin

I didn’t know you were into piss play 

Wtf

 

Jiminie

NO TAE I’M NOT INTO THAT 

IT WAS GENUINE CURIOSITY 

LOOK AWAY TAETAE 

LOOK AWAY 

 

TaeTae

(ᗒᗜᗕ)՛̵̖

Hurry back baby!!

Chapter Text

Jungkook woke up to a headache, and a sudden naseousness overtook him when he sat up in bed too fast.

Once the urge to puke was tamed, Jungkook studied his room and spotted Yugyeom sitting at his desk with a ‘My Hero Academia’ episode pulled up on the screen of Jungkook’s computer.

Yugyeom must have heard when Jungkook woke up though because the anime was already paused and his attention was on the BTS member. “How are you feeling,” he asked as he rolled the spinny chair closer to the bed.

Jungkook noticed Yugyeom grab a familiar bottle of pain killers and an unopened bottle of water which he handed to Jungkook once he was close enough. “You were out for quite a while, I don’t know if you’ll be able to sleep properly tonight.”

Jungkook swallowed down the medicine and half the water. He closed the bottle and left it on the floor next to the bed before laying back down. He closed his eyes and relaxed into the mattress. “What time is it now?”

Yugyeom took his phone out of his hoodie's pocket and clicked it on. It read 8:47 P.M. and he said it out load earning a hum of acknowledgement from Jungkook.

“Are you hungry?” Yugyeom asked after a small silence. Jungkook simply hummed in affirmation.

Yugyeom couldn’t help but laugh at the pout on his friends face. He stood up from the spinny chair. “Well lucky for you, Seokjin-hyung and Hoseok-hyung expected this outcome and prepared hangover soup for you. Come on, let’s go heat it up.”

“You’re an angel sent from above,” Jungkook muttered. 

"Tell that to hyungs," Yugyeom said.

"They already know."

Yugyeom chuckled as he helped Jungkook stand up and steady himself on one leg. Yugyeom gripped onto his friends waist securely as Jungkook got in a comfortable enough position with his arm around Yugyeom’s shoulders. 

“Taehyung was really insistent on breaking into your room,” Yugyeom mentioned. “I’m pretty sure he was plotting something after I refused to let him in. He scares me sometimes, I was fearing for my life the whole time I was here.”

Jungkook laughed and they both walked out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen. Well, Yugyeom walked. He walked slower than what he was used to considering that Jungkook was using him to walk.

”Spending so much time with Jimin made him learn how to intimidate people in a subtle manner,” Jungkook said.

They made it to the livingroom easy enough considering they practically stepped into it as soon as they exited Jungkook’s room. What surprised Jungkook was that nobody was present even though it was still too early to be sleeping. 

Jungkook carefully listened to the sounds all around the house, ready to hear one of his hyungs talking, or walking around. Maybe even hear the water from the shower running, but nothing.

Yugyeom helped sit Jungkook up on the counter with only a slight struggle. Jungkook tried focusing more on noise in the house, looking for the familiar footsteps of the hyungs upstairs, or the competitive yells of Taehyung and Jimin from playing video games in Jimin’s room. Even the most recent barking from Yeontan was missing. All he could hear was Yugyeom turning on the stove and moving the pot of hangover soup over the fire.

”Where’s everyone? It’s too quiet,” Jungkook pointed out eventually. He began swinging his feet back and forth unconsciously.

”Oh yeah, Yoongi said he, Namjoon, and Hoseok went to the studio to try and get some works done. Seokjin went to meet a friend. Taehyung and Jimin went to walk Yeontan, but they didn’t say where to. So the house is empty for now.”

Jungkook nodded now that the sudden silence was explained. He slumped down on himself. “I can’t believe I panicked and got drunk as a way of dealing with the sudden stress,” Jungkook mumbled looking down at his feet swinging in the air.

Yugyeom faced Jungkook and bit his lower lip as he thought out the variety of outcomes he can end up with depending on which direction he takes the conversation. Finally deciding, he hopped on the counter next to Jungkook and began shoving the other's foot with his own. 

“You really got us worried there. I think I even overheard Seokjin coming up with an alcohol ban for you or something,” Yugyeom explained thinking back to almost an hour ago when Seokjin and Jimin were talking in the hallway as they waited for their turn to use the restroom. 

Jungkook shrugged. “I drink to forget but I always remember.” 

Yugyeom laughed and lightly shoved Jungkook sideways with his shoulder. “You have to let vine die.”

”Over my dead body."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. All they did was continue to play with their feet as a form or entertainment. Yugyeom was the one to break the silence. 

“Are you okay with staying here and facing Taehyung or do you want to come to my dorm for the night?” Yugyeom offered. 

Jungkook pursed his lips as he thought about it. “Who’s gonna be there?”

”I’m gonna have the place to myself for a few days. Jinyoung-hyung has a schedule in Busan so he hasn’t been here since yesterday.”

Jungkook perked up with a sudden smile and a twinkle of joy in his eyes. “We should invite Changkyun! Then we can play video games together and eat a bunch of food and dress each other up!”

”Whatever makes you feel better,” said Yugyeom as he hopped off and went to stir the soup. He set the fire to a simmer. 

“Did you see if Taehyung took off the dress? I have to give it back to Changkyun.”

Yugyeom found himself laughing at the bummed out expression on his friend’s face at the reminder that he couldn’t keep the dress. “Yeah, I heard Jimin-hyung struggle to get him out of it and Namjoon-hyung had to help. I think they left it on the sofa. We can look for it once we’re done eating.”

”Okay.”

Yugyeom deemed the soup ready — not too hot but not too cold either — so he served it on two bowls and set them on the table. Then, he helped Jungkook down from the counter and let him sit down on a stool that was hidden underneath. Yugyeom sat down next to him and took his phone out of his hoodie’s pocket.

”I’m gonna text Changkyunie. We can pick him up on the way,” Yugyeom said.

Jungkook hummed in affirmation, too busy eating to pay attention to his friend. 

°•°•°•°•°

Seokjin & The 6 Memes

TaeTae has removed Belieber4life from the chat

TaeTae

CODE BLUE CODE BLUE 

GUYS WE HAVE A CODE BLUE 

 

SugaTheGrouch

I thought we established we never made any codes so why are you still using them 

And why did you kick Jungkook out of the chat again

 

TaeTae

JUNGKOOK'S MISSING AND IM FREAKING OUT

 

Jiminie

Lol Tae we can just text him and ask where he went

 

TaeTae

Where's the fun in getting an immediate answer?

Let me be dramatic Chim

 

KylieJennerWho?

WHAT

HE LEFT WITHOUT TELLING US 

WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?!?!

 

CrabKing

An adult fully capable of leaving the house without adult supervision?

 

KylieJennerWho?

Don't be rediculous 

He my little baby boy wdym hes an adult 

 

HOBIHOBI

Stop being weird hyung you baby him too much 

But ngl I'm kinda worried cuz hes not supposed to be walking

I'm just hoping Yugyeom is helping him wherever they went

 

TaeTae

Oh shit thats right 

I forgot Yugyeom was babysitting him 

Wait 

So DOES THIS MEAN YUGYEOM KIDNAPPED HIM 

IM GONNA HAVE HIM ARRESTED 

 

CrabKing

Tae, just because Yugyeom managed to get Jungkook's attention doesn't mean you can call the cops on him 

 

Jiminie

Awe babe don't be sad Jungkookie will be back at some point 

Now we can raid his closet and steal those hoodies he never wants to lend us 

 

CrabKing

Are you seriously going to steal from him because he's not home

 

Jiminie

Yeah I mean it's not like he'll notice what's missing from his closet

He has so much shit he collected over the years 

Its about time he gets rid of some stuff 

 

HOBIHOBI

Hey guys Jungkook's asking why you kicked him out of the group chat 

Oh and that he's gonna have a sleepover with Yugyeom and Changkyun at Yugyeom's place

 

KylieJennerWho?

So the little fucker's safe 

Thank god now I can focus on my friend 

I'll be home later guys 

And I'm putting y'all on mute cuz you talk too much 

I'm looking at you Tae 

 

Jiminie 

Have fun hyung!

 

TaeTae

Back to the problem please 

 

SugaTheGrouch

There wasn't a problem in the first place 

Jungkookie went out

So what? Big deal

 

TaeTae

But I miss him :( 

 

Jiminie

Hey 

I've been waiting for you in bed naked all this time and you're complaining to the groupchat 

Come here Tae 

And hurry 

 

HOBIHOBI

Gross TMI guys 

 

CrabKing

Wow um we didn't need to know that Chim

 

Jiminie 

Well now you know hyung 

Omg Tae ran in and slipped on my shirt and face planted on the floor 

Guess this is our goodbye too

Try to come home late 

 

HOBIHOBI

I guess I'll add Jungkook to the chat myself since Tae disappeared for dick

 

HOBIHOBI  has added  Belieber4life   to the chat

 

Belieber4life

Thanks hyung 

I came to tell you guys something and noticed I was kicked out

Why?

 

CrabKing 

Ask Tae 

But not rn hes kinda busy with Jimin and we don't want to interrupt him 

 

SugaTheGrouch

You were saying Kookie?

 

HOBIHOBI

Oh wow I didnt expect Yoongi-hyung to answer so quickly

 

Belieber4life

What?

Why?

 

HOBIHOBI

We were with him in the studio but Namjoonie and I left to get some snacks but hyung didn't wanna come out of there cuz hes working on a song rn 

I just didnt expect him to pull away from work anytime soon 

 

CrabKing

We're on our way with the snacks hyung 

 

Belieber4life

Yoongi-hyung don't stay out too late okay

 

SugaTheGrouch

I won't don't worry

Now what were you gonna say 

 

Belieber4life

Oh well remember how you found me in a dress that one day on the night I tried skateboarding?

 

SugaTheGrouch

How could I forget 

Had to take you to a doctor while you were wearing the darn thing 

 

Belieber4life

Good times good times 

Anyway

I really liked the breeze between my legs so I bought a few dresses online that are roughly my size 

I'm warning you now you may see me in dresses at home and you can't do shit about it 

 

CrabKing 

Oh

Alrighty then 

Can't wait to see how good you look! 

 

HOBIHOBI 

 (*゚∀゚*)

 

Belieber4life

I'm just hoping my dick doesnt show too much

Hmm 

Boxers wouldn't look good under a dress now that I think about it

Maybe I should buy some panties too?

What do you think hyungs?

 

SugaTheGrouch

Jungkookie 

You're killing me here 

 

Belieber4life

Lol sure 

Anyway thats what I wanted to say

Take it as a warning 

See you tomorrow hyungs!!

 

CrabKing 

He 

He broke Hoseok

 

HOBIHOBI

JUNGKOOKIE YOU BETTER MODEL EVERYTHING YOU BUY OKAY

AND ONLY WE CAN SEE IT 

OKAY??

JUNGKOOKIE!!

 

Belieber4life

Goodnight hyung <3

 

CrabKing

I thought Seokjin was the one who enjoyed torturing us but I guess I was wrong 

 

SugaTheGrouch

Smh

It's always the innocent ones

Chapter Text

“Tell me again how flirting with my hyungs is supposed to help my gay panics perish?” Jungkook murmured in the mostly silent apartment. 

“It’s not,” said Changkyun distractedly from his place at the opposite end of the sofa. “The point of it is to fake your confidence until you actually have it.” 

Jungkook pouted, his gaze focused on the open conversation on his phone. He was waiting for a response. He just hopes it comes before he backs out of what he’s about to do.

°•°•°•°•°

Belieber4life

Hyung

Why was I kicked out of the group chat? 

°•°•°•°•°

2 minutes of silence passed so Jungkook turned off his phone and faced Changkyun. The older boy was sitting with his legs crossed, his laptop resting on his knee as he watched a makeup tutorial they’d be trying out soon. They were just waiting for Yugyeom to get back from the drug store where he’d buy a shit ton of makeup items they don’t have but will surely use.

“Are you sure this is gonna work? I don’t wanna make a fool of myself.”

Changkyun chuckled and shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean, it worked for me. I don’t see why it won’t work for you.” 

Jungkook pouted. His phone dinged with a notification and he unlocked it in a hurry when he saw Hoseok had finally answered. 

°•°•°•°•°

HOBIHOBI

Hey Kookie!

I’ll add you rn 

Is something wrong? 

 

Belieber4life

Nothing’s wrong hyung I just really need to tell you guys something important and it’s easier to do it on the group chat instead of telling you individually 

 

HOBIHOBI

Okayy 

Where’d you go baby?

Tae is freaking out 

°•°•°•°•°

A storm of butterflies infested Jungkook’s stomach when he read the message. He squealed loudly earning Changkyun’s attention. He frowned in concern at the young boy wiggling wildly in his spot on the couch. 

°•°•°•°•°

Belieber4life

Yugyeom Changkyun and I are having a sleepover at Yugyeom’s 

Jinyoung left for a schedule in Busan for a few days and Yugyeom didn’t want to be alone rn 

 

HOBIHOBI

Alright I’ll tell the group chat 

Let me clam down Taehyung and then I’ll get him to add you

 

Belieber4life

Alrighty hyung 

Don’t take long please

 

HOBIHOBI

I’ll try not to

°•°•°•°•°

Jungkook turned off his phone again and turned to Changkyun who was still staring at him questioningly. 

“Something happen to get you acting like a fanboy?”

Jungkook bit his bottom lip and nodded. “Hobi-hyung called me baby and it made me feel weird.”

Changkyun laughed in disbelief. “Okay then.”

Jungkook sighed and let his body fall sideways so that he was laying down. As carefully as he could, he fixed his legs over the arm rest of the sofa, his head using Changkyun’s thigh as a pillow. 

“I don’t know if I should go through with this Kyunie,” Jungkook murmured after a few seconds of silence. Or, as silent as it was with the American girl on the laptop screen guiding her viewers through the tutorial. 

“You don’t have to, but I think it’ll help you in a way.”

Jungkook pursed his lips. “You say that because you got 6 boyfriends when you tried it.”

“It can happen to you too,” Changkyun said mindlessly. “But don’t worry about it now. Focus on getting your confidence up, then you can worry about dating.”

Jungkook’s phone dinged again so he unlocked it and sighed in relief when he was back on the group chat. 

“Okay. I’m gonna do it.”

°•°•°•°•°

Seokjin & The 6 Memes

HOBIHOBI has added Belieber4life to the chat  

Belieber4life

Thanks hyung 

I came to tell you guys something and noticed I was kicked out 

Why?

 

CrabKing

Ask Tae

But not rn hes kinda busy with Jimin and we don't want to interrupt him

°•°•°•°•°

"I'm so glad I'm not home right now," Jungkook muttered to Changkyun. 

"Why is that?" responded the oldest.

"Jimin and Taehyung are going at it like rabbits again. I don't know how their sex life is this active, but I'm lowkey jealous of it."

Changkyun snorted out a laugh and began playing with Jungkook's hair mindlessly. "I don't either. I mean, I have 6 boyfriends and still fuck less than them. It's impressive, really."

°•°•°•°•°

Seokjin & The 6 Memes

SugaTheGrouch

You were saying Kookie?

 

HOBIHOBI

Oh wow I didnt expect Yoongi-hyung to answer so quickly

 

Belieber4life

What?

Why?

 

HOBIHOBI

We were with him in the studio but Namjoonie and I left to get some snacks but hyung didn't wanna come out of there cuz hes working on a song rn

I just didnt expect him to pull away from work anytime soon

 

CrabKing

We're on our way with the snacks hyung

 

Belieber4life

Yoongi-hyung don't stay out too late okay 

 

SugaTheGrouch

I won't don't worry

Now what were you gonna say 

°•°•°•°•°

And the sudden ease Jungkook had fallen into was gone just like that. He licked his lips and looked up at Changkyun who was still staring at the laptop screen. 

"I can't do this hyung, I'm too embarrassed," Jungkook said quickly.

The statement had Changkyun pulling Jungkook's ear making the younger whine. Jungkook grabbed at Changkyun's wrist to try and pull the hand away but Changkyun’s grip didn’t falter.

"Start it off. If it doesn't get easier, hand the phone to me and I'll finish the conversation." Finally, Changkyun let go and went back to carding his fingers through Jungkook's hair. "You can do it."

Jungkook chewed on his bottom lip. Regardless of the nerves he felt taking over inside, Jungkook continued his mission.

 °•°•°•°•°

Seokjin & The 6 Memes

Belieber4life

Oh well remember how you found me in a dress that one day on the night I tried skateboarding?

 

SugaTheGrouch

How could I forget 

Had to take you to a doctor while you were wearing the darn thing 

 

Belieber4life

Good times good times 

Anyway

 °•°•°•°•°

"I tap out!" Jungkook suddenly exclaimed as he sat up and shoved his phone at Changkyun who took it with concern. "I can't continue, it's too embarrassing. Please just get it over with." 

Changkyun nodded, a mischevious smile on his face. "Anything for you, maknae."

°•°•°•°•°

Seokjin & The 6 Memes

Belieber4life

I really liked the breeze between my legs so I bought a few dresses online that are roughly my size 

I'm warning you now you may see me in dresses at home and you can't do shit about it 

 

CrabKing

Oh 

Alrighty then

Can't wait to see how good you look!

 

HOBIHOBI 

(*゚∀゚*)

 

Belieber4life

I'm just hoping my dick doesn't show too much 

Hmm

Boxers wouldn't look good under a dress now that I think about it 

Maybe I should buy some panties too?

What do you think hyungs?

 

SugaTheGrouch

Jungkookie

You're killing me here

 

Belieber4life

Lol sure

Anyway thats what I wanted to say

Take it as a warning 

See you tomorrow hyungs!!

 

CrabKing

He

He broke Hoseok

 

HOBIHOBI

JUNGKOOKIE YOU BETTER MODEL EVERYTHING YOU BUY OKAY

AND ONLY WE CAN SEE IT 

OKAY??

JUNGKOOKIE!!

 

Belieber4life

Goodnight hyung <3

 °•°•°•°•°

Changkyun threw the phone back at Jungkook with a smirk plastered on his face. "You already have them wrapped around your finger, all you have to do is learn to use that power to your advantage."

Jungkook's eyes widened as he read through the last few messages Changkyun sent. "Did you just subtly seduce my hyungs as me?" he asked in shock and slight admiration.

Changkyun shrugged carelessly as he typed something into the Naver search bar. "Come here Jungkookie, we have to shop for your panties to go with the dresses you splurged on using my credit card."

Jungkook blushed at the reminder but nodded and scoot closer to the other. Ten minutes later, Yugyeom got home and instead of getting right to the makeup, the 3 ended up sitting on the couch searching for pretty panties online.

Chapter Text

TaeTae

Chim 

Chim Chim

I’m dying 

I’m dying a slow and painful death and I blame Jeon Jungkook for it

DID YOU SEE WHAT HE WROTE IN THE GROUP CHAT

 

Jiminie 

OF COURSE I DID ITS HARD TO MISS

We have to be chill about this, Tae

We have to be Real Chill

Capital letters and all

 

TaeTae

Babe, I didn’t take acting classes for nothing

 

Jiminie

You took acting classes because you got casted for a drama when you lied about knowing how to act and winged the audition with your mediocre skills

 

TaeTae

That was the second reason

(also ouch! My skills have been a little more than mediocre since I was a kid thank you very much!)

The main reason I took those classes was so that I knew how to act as if I wasn’t lusting after my members

 

Jiminie

I mean you’ve been doing a pretty good job so far 

 

TaeTae

Thanks I try my best 

Now let’s take Yeontan out for his morning walk and talk more about Jungkook's sudden interest in dresses

 

Jiminie

Sure thing let me just make my bed otherwise Seokjin-hyung will kill me

°•°•°•°•°

The next morning, Yugyeom set their breakfast on the coffee table taking Jungkook and Changkyun by surprise. They turned away from the cartoons playing on tv to stare at an eerily happy Yugyeom fixing all the dishes across the small space.

Said man sat next to Jungkook once he was done, and the 3 of them began to eat from the takeout plates that had been delivered mere minutes ago.

“Ready to face your fears today?” Yugyeom asked Jungkook as a conversation starter.

The older man exhaled dramatically at the reminder of seeing his hyungs in only a few hours. He really didn't want to, not when he somehow ended up exposing his sudden interest in feminine clothes.

Jungkook pouted dramatically. “I’m definitely not excited, but I can’t hide forever...so fuck it, I guess.”

Yugyeom slapped Jungkook’s back with a proud cheer. “That’s the spirit!” 

“What are you guys gonna do today?” Jungkook asked curiously.

Changkyun perked up excitedly. “Comeback is soon so we won’t have much time off. Hyungs and I are all gonna go on a date before our schedules start,” he rambled happily. It made his friends smile at his excited energy.

”Yeah, I have a full schedule today as well. Won’t get home until midnight probably,” Yugyeom added. “So we need to hurry up and finish eating so I can drop your dumbass off,” he directed towards Jungkook.

”I’m not a dumbass!” the BTS member protested. “And why isn’t Changkyun coming with us?”

“You injured your ankle because you thought you could pull off a Tony trick without knowing how to skate,” Changkyun deadpanned. “That definitely makes you a dumbass. And Hyungwon-hyung is picking me up in a few so I don’t need a ride.”

Jungkook pouted and slumped in his place. “I’m not a dumbass,” he murmured again.

Yugyeom gave him a smile that almost looked too innocent. But his ‘innocent smiles’ are definitely not innocent. There’s always a certain type of evil hidden behind his gaze.

“Of course you’re not,” Yugyeom said. His tone didn’t sound genuine at all. “Now finish eating.”

°•°•°•°•°

When Jungkook limped into the house nearly 2 hours later, he had expecations. For example, he thought the living room was going to be occupied by at least 3 members. Maybe he’d even hear Seokjin yelling from somewhere in the house. Hell, Jungkook was almost 100% positive that he'd hear Yeontan barking from Taehyung’s room. Instead, he was greeted with complete silence.

It was suspicious and unsettling and Jungkook didn’t like it. Not one bit.

Are they planning on pranking me? he thought to himself as he removed his shoes and placed them in the shoe department next to the front door.

"Anybody home?” he asked limping into the living room.

There was a loud thud upstairs making Jungkook frown in confusion. Then, fast footsteps sounded throughout the house, and soon enough Hoseok was walking down the stairs with a huge smile and open arms.

"Jungkookie! You’re back!” he cheered, excitedly rushing towards the maknae. “Did you have fun with the others?”

Jungkook nodded, a genuine smile gracing his lips. "Yeah I did. Where's everyone else? It’s too quiet in here." 

Hoseok lead Jungkook to the couch where they both sat down next to each other. Hoseok helped Jungkook lift his leg onto a throw pillow that he put on the coffee table.

”Yoongi and Namjoon were up really late trying to finish a track and they came back around 3 hours ago. Now they’re sleeping. Jimin and Taehyung took Yeontan out back, and I don’t know where Seokjin is.”

“He didn’t say where he was going?” asked Jungkook. 

Hoseok finally let himself relax against the couch and Jungkook took the liberty of cuddling into his hyung’s side.

”Nope. I woke up and he wasn’t here. He’ll be back soon though. Probably.”

Hoseok switched on the TV and began surfing through the channels. Jungkook closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the calm atmosphere that they rarely had in this house. 

The peace didn’t last long.

“So tell me about this whole buying dresses and panties business,” Hoseok said out of nowhere. 

A dark blush spread over Jungkook’s cheeks and he cleared his throat. He refused to move from his position though; he rather hide in Hoseok’s chest than face him. 

“I like it...is it a problem?” 

The older man wrapped his arms around Jungkook and squeezed him in a hug, leaving a ton of kisses on the maknae’s head.

“Of course not. If you don’t mind, I’ll help you choose cute outfits. Years of helping my sister with her fashion really came in handy.”

Jungkook finally got the courage to look up at his hyung. He swore his blush was getting darker the longer he held eye contact. 

"You don’t find it weird?" he asked.

”I’m new to the idea of a guy wearing feminine clothes, but I have an open mind for everything.”

Jungkook grinned and went back to hiding in Hoseok’s chest.

”Also,” Hoseok continued. “You know I’ll support you no matter what you do, right? We all will.”

Jungkook’s heart leapt and he groaned loudly in embarrassment. Hoseok laughed in delight at the maknae’s reaction. 

The door to the backyard opened and Taehyung’s loud voice echoed throughout the house, Jimin’s laugh following afterwards.

Jungkook tried not to tense up. He breathed in deeply, an attempt to calm his suddenly racing heart. 

It was time. Time to face the hyung that gave him a boner. There was no way out of this, really.

Chapter Text

Awkward Bitches

Kookie 🍪

GAYS DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU!!!!

 

Yugyummy 🍕

I take it your reunion with Tae went well

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Can’t talk rn

I’m on a date

 

Kookie 🍪

Still?

But it's almost 8

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

It's been a long date

I’ll be back later okay?? DON’T SKIP OUT ON DETAILS I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING WHEN I COME BACK

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Don't worry Kook, I'm still here with you 

Now come on, tell Yugyeomie what happened

 

Kookie 🍪

Stop talking in third person you emo we left that in 2016

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Fool

I never abandoned my emo side

It still lives within me

 

Kookie 🍪

Whatever I'll make this short cuz I know you’re still busy

First, Hoseok talked to me about the whole dressing different situation and I feel more assured that they don’t hate me for being weird

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Nice

In this household we stan hyungs that support our decision no matter how odd they may seem to outsiders

 

Kookie 🍪

So that happened and then we cuddled and I was in heaven

Then Tae and Jiminie came into the house, and when Tae realized I was back, he came up to me and started apologizing

Like a lot

He went on a fucking rant, on his knees, rubbing his hands together like a mad man

Anyway I said everything was fine (I fucking lied everything isn’t fine I CAN STILL FEEL HIS ASS RUBBING AGAINST ME) and he said he wanted to make it up to me

So him and Jiminie agreed to take me to Tokyo for a few days

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Holy fucking shit

A trip to Tokyo as an apology?? 

MAN I WANT A VMIN IN MY LIFE

 

Kookie 🍪

You mean your group mates don't take you on a vacation to another country whenever they embarrass you?

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Obviously not

 

Kookie 🍪

Oof, can’t relate to basic bitches 😎💅

 

Yugyummy 🍕

BITCH STFU

 

Kookie 🍪

LMAO NEVER

°•°•°•°•°

The front door opened and closed but Jungkook didn’t look up from his phone to check who it was. Then, a familiar voice Jungkook hasn’t heard in a day spoke up making him remember Seokjin was the only who would walk through that door considering he’s the only one that went out.

“Glad to see you’re back, maknae.”

Jungkook grinned widely at the sight of his hyung, grocery bags tugging his hands down as he struggled to remove his shoes and replace them with slippers.

Jungkook locked his phone and left it on the cushions in favor of standing up as fast as he could. He wobbled over to Seokjin with a toothy smile and doe eyes crinkled in delight.

”Hyung!”

Seokjin smiled endearingly at the sight of his dongsaeng rushing towards him with open arms.

“Why are you so excited? It’s just me,” the hyung asked.

Jungkook wordlessly threw himself at Seokjin once the older man stepped onto the main floor. Seokjin only stumbled a little at the sudden weight.

“I’m excited because it feels like I haven’t seen you in months,” mumbled Jungkook. He pulled away and looked down at the reusable bags that Seokjin was holding. “Did you get me anything from the store?”

Seokjin laughed and gently shoved Jungkook away. 

“So that’s why you hugged me. You want to steal something from my candy stash, right?”

Seokjin made his way to the kitchen and Jungkook followed him like a lost duckling who’s imprinted on the first human it saw.

“It won’t be stealing if you gift it to me,” Jungkook pointed out.

Seokjin set the bags down and faced Jungkook. “It won’t be a gift if it’s unwilling,” he retorted.

”Are you really going to say no to this face?” asked Jungkook as he cupped his face and pouted in a very dramatic way.

”Obviously not.” Seokjin picked up a chocolate bar, Jungkook’s favorite that he never forgets to buy when he goes out, and hands it to the younger boy who gratefully takes it.

”You’re the best, hyung!” 

“Of course I am.”

Jungkook hopped onto the island next to the bags and began eating his chocolate. He watched intently as his hyung walked around the kitchen putting away the groceries.

Seokjin cut the silence before it could settle for too long.

”How was your night with Yugyeom and Changkyun?”

Jungkook’s eyes lit up with excitement at the reminder of his time with his dearest friends. He hopes to hang out together again someday soon.

”I had a blast! We played a bunch of games, ordered delicious food, learned a few makeup tricks, bought things online,” the maknae listed off from the top of his head.

When Seokjin turned to look at Jungkook from the other side of the kitchen, the younger man noticed a dangerous glint in his hyung’s eyes that did stuff to Jungkook’s heart.

”That’s right. You mentioned buying panties and dresses,” he pointed out with a subtle smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

Jungkook licked his suddenly dry lips and nodded slightly in agreement.

”That’s nice. Can’t wait to see what you bought. You’ll model for us, right?”

This situation was definitely not helping him keep his composure. Not at all. Jungkook’s heart was racing way too fast, his mind a muddled mess, and a stomach full of butterflies. He was feeling way too jittery and he really needed to escape. 

Jungkook wasn’t sure if to be grateful or not when Hoseok walked in through the kitchen door and threw himself at Seokjin.

“Of course he’ll model for us! He promised. Now stop stressing our maknae. We need him in good condition for our next comeback.”

Just like that, the dangerous glint in Seokjin’s eyes disappeared and he was back to being bright and bubbly.

”I’m not stressing him,” Seokjin protested as he pushed Hoseok away. “I’m merely trying to help him.”

”In what way?” Hoseok questioned.

”It doesn’t really matter.”

”Yes it does.”

”No, it doesn’t-“

Jungkook finished his chocolate bar, crumpled the wrapper, and carefully hopped off the island which caught the attention of the bickering duo.

”I’m going to my room to take a nap. Call me when dinner is ready,” he said as he threw away the crumbled wrapper in the trash.

Seokjin and Hoseok nodded before going back to bickering, and it made it easier for the maknae to wobble out of the kitchen without a hassle.

Chapter Text

Awkward Bitches

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Hey losers what’s up

I finally made it home

 

Kookie 🍪

Dude it's almost midnight wtf kinda date did you go on

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

An extremely exhausting one

We were out ALL DAY and now my legs are sore from all the walking

I'll tell you about it later though

For now let's concentrate on you, young mister

 

Kookie 🍪

Me?

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Yes you!

Why did you agree to go on that trip

 

Kookie 🍪

Because it's a once in a lifetime all paid expenses vacation

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

You-

You're an idol Jungkook

You can pay for a trip to Tokyo with your own money

 

Kookie 🍪

Yes but you see, this is a FREE trip

I OBVIOUSLY couldn't refuse

 

Yugyummy 🍕

You're rich, cheap, and a scammer

Never change Jungkookie

 

Kookie 🍪

Don't plan on it my friend

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

You’re an idiot Kook, that’s what you really are

 

Kookie 🍪

Well gee thanks for the boost of confidence

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Any time

Good luck with the trip, brat

You're gonna need it

 

Kookie 🍪

I'll make you proud Kyunie!

°•°•°•°•°

 Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Is now the right time to test Jimin?

 

Yugyummy 🍕

There's really no need to

The guy’s been giving Jungkook heart eyes for as long as I can remember 

But fuck it lets do it for shits and giggles

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Great

You do it

I'll test the next one

 

Yugyummy 🍕

On it bub

Brb with results

°•°•°•°•°

GOT7 Maknae

Jimin

 

Demonic Angel

Yes?

GOT7 Maknae

Do you find Jungkook attractive?

 

Demonic Angel

Yes

 

GOT7 Maknae

Do you have a crush on him?

 

Demonic Angel

Yes

 

GOT7 Maknae

Even though you're dating Tae?

 

Demonic Angel

Lmao dude we both have a crush on him

 

GOT7 Maknae

Okay this is weird

 

Demonic Angel

What is

 

GOT7 Maknae

You're being oddly cooperative

 

Demonic Angel

There's nothing to hide

Tae and I are trying to ease Jungkook into our relationship and we're confident to succeed...eventually

 

GOT7 Maknae

Oh shit really?

 

Demonic Angel

Yeah 

But Jungkookie freaked out when Tae tried seducing him so now we're moving on to another member

Just to give Kook a little breather

 

GOT7 Maknae

HOLY SHIT HOLD ON I NEED TO CATCH UP

Are you also trying to get the other members to join your relationship?

 

Demonic Angel

Hell yeah

Have you seen them?!

How can we not when they’re the perfect boyfriend material

We couldn’t help but fall for their charms

 

GOT7 Maknae

Okay

Cool cool cool cool cool

Alright

And you're trying to start a poly relationship with them?

 

Demonic Angel

That’s literally what I said Yugyeom

Why are you asking

 

GOT7 Maknae

No particular reason

Thanks for talking to me

  

Demonic Angel

No problem 

°•°•°•°•°

Yugyummy 🍕

So

My theory was right

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Really?

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Jimin and Tae definitely have a crush on Jk

And they're trying to include him in their relationship

But here's the twist that I’m honestly not surprised about

The famous VMin couple not only have a crush on Jungkook, but on all their members

And they’re trying to get the others to join their relationship too

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Dude

There's already so much sexual tension between them and they aren't even dating yet

Imagine when they are

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Please spare me the imagery 

Chapter Text

"Is little Jungkookie excited to go to Tokyo?" teased Yoongi from his perch on his dongsaeng's bed.

"I'm bigger than you," Jungkook deadpans.

Said dongsaeng didn't bother to turn and glare at Yoongi the way he wanted to because he was looking through his closet.

Jungkook has less than 10 hours until they leave for the plane, yet he procrastinated the whole week. Jimin specifically told him to finish packing the day before, yet that's the opposite of what Jungkook did. Now, he can only hope that Jimin doesn't scold him for waiting last minute.

"That's totally uncalled for,” Yoongi says.

Jungkook grinned to himself. "You asked for it."

Finally, after shuffling through almost all of his shirts for nearly half an hour, Jungkook has gathered enough shirts in his hand to last him the whole trip, plus extra for emergencies. He walks to the edge of his bed and drops the mounts of shirts on top of Yoongi's socked feet. Yoongi didn't move, just kept scrolling through his phone.

"Yoongi-hyung, I don't want to sound rude, but why are you here if you're not helping me pack?"

Yoongi turned off his phone, but he didn’t move closer to help fold the clothes. He just leaned against the wall and smiled at Jungkook.

”Is it a sin to want to spend time with you before you leave me for god knows how long?”

With a cute bunny grin, Jungkook rolled his eyes fondly. It had Yoongi’s stomach bursting with feelings. Feelings he’s felt before, but never allowed himself to decipher.

”I’m only going away for 4 days and 3 nights, hyung. It’s not that long of a trip.”

Yoongi pursed his lips. “It’s definitely a long trip,” he says. “Who else is going to cuddle with me while you’re away? I can’t go that long without cuddles!”

The one adorable bunny grin on Jungkook’s face became even bigger, his eyes crinkling adorably and his dimples making an appearance. Once again, Yoongi’s heart clenched in fondness.

“You can ask the others. They love cuddling with you, too. You just don’t give them a chance,” Jungkook pointed out.

Yoongi scoffed. “Yeah, but then if I fall asleep, they’ll take pictures and send them to the group chat. I can’t deal with that for 4 days continuously.”

Jungkook nodded in understanding. 

“Then let’s make a deal. You help me finish packing, and I’ll cuddle with you until it’s time to go. Then when I come back, I’ll stay in bed with you for however long you want, with no complaining.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened in interest. He thought really hard about it, then wordlessly shuffled closer to the suitcase and grabbed the rolled up clothes and began folding them neatly. 

They finished the packing in no time, so Jungkook closed the suitcase and left it on the floor. Yoongi was already comfortable on the bed, back to scrolling through his phone. When Jungkook saw this, he grinned and jumped onto Yoongi.

He groaned at the sudden weight crushing him, but still hugged Jungkook closer to his side.

They stayed like that in complete silence, and then, minutes later - almost as if he sensed it - Jimin appeared at Jungkook’s door peeking in.

“You guys are cuddling without me?” he asked, offended. “And you didn’t even think to invite me?! How dare you!”

He ran in and before Yoongi could even process what he was about to do, Jimin jumped on top of them both. The room then filled with groans of complain and Jimin’s evil laugh.

°•°•°•°•°

“I can’t wait to check in at the hotel!” Jimin said excitedly as he takes a seat in the plane once again. “Apparently it has an inside pool, the food is supposed to be really good, and someone online said that the wifi is free!”

Taehyung - who’s settled next to Jimin - grins. “I know! My friend who went to Tokyo stayed there and she said it was an amazing experience! So I just had to choose that hotel for us.”

The continue making plans and Jungkook calls down a flight attendant for wifi, paying off the fee with his pocket money. Jungkook picks his phone out of his jacket’s pocket and opens up the group chat with Yugyeom and Changkyun.

 °•°•°•°•°

Awkward Bitches

Kookie 🍪

What’s up assholes

How you doing

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Aren’t you supposed to be on a flight to Tokyo?

 

Kookie 🍪

Yep

Took off half an hour ago

Also I paid for the wifi myself just so I could talk to y’all so be grateful 

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Ehhhh I’ll think about it

 

Kookie 🍪

Mean 😭 

Where’s Yugyeom? Is he busy?

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Yes

I’m risking my life rn just by texting you guys

 

Kookie 🍪

How???

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Jinyoung-hyung is leaving again the day after tomorrow and he’ll be gone for a few days so he’s making me dinner as an apology

And I’m not supposed to be on the phone because then that beats the purpose of our date

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Ooh La La 

A homemade dinner and no outside contact?

Sounds romantic 😂

 

Kookie 🍪

Next thing you know Jinyoung’s proposing to this dumbass 😂

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

I’ll wax my whole body just to see that happen 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

...guys

It’s way too early for a proposal

We’ve only been dating for a year and some months

 

Kookie 🍪

What

 

Kyunie-hyung

Wait what?

What the hell??

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Whats wrong

Why are you guys acting surprised 

 

Kookie 🍪

BECAUSE WE ARE

YOU’VE BEEN DATING JINYOUNG FOR THAT LONG AND WE ONLY FOUND OUT TODAY?!?!

 

Yugyummy 🍕

You seriously didn’t know?

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

NO!

I feel betrayed

I can’t believe this

You dare keep this from us?!

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Lmao sorry

Guess I forgot to tell y’all 

But anygay

I got scolded so this means I have to get off the phone BYE

 

Kookie 🍪

Don’t bother texting back 😤 we don’t want to talk to you after you committed such a crime

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Bitch you’d be lonely if I didn’t text

You have no other friends to replace me 

 

Kookie 🍪

THAT IS SO NOT TRUE 

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Sorta is

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Yeah I’m with him on this one, Kook

 

Kookie 🍪

Blocked

Reported

Uninvited to my birthday party

My mom is calling your mom

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Uh can Seokjin wait to call Jinyoung until tomorrow? 

I’m not up for getting cockblocked tonight

 

Kookie 🍪

EWE

WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT

 

Yugyummy 🍕

Just to make you suffer 😇

LATER BITCHES

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

...can’t believe he did us this dirty

 

Kookie 🍪

You think we’re the only ones that didn’t notice?

...

I’m gonna ask my hyungs

Brb with results!

 

Kyunie-hyung 🐺

Same

Send updates on your trip!

 

Kookie 🍪

👌🏼 No problem

°•°•°•°•°

Jungkook turns his phone off, shoves it back into his hoodie’s pocket, and pays attention to the conversation that Taehyung and Jimin are having.

”I can’t wait to try out the bed,” Taehyung groans. “My friend said it was so comfortable she didn’t even want to get up in the mornings. This reminds me, we should probably get our mattresses replaced.”

Jimin giggled and looked down at his hands playing with the rings on Taehyung’s fingers. 

“It’s gonna be fun, Tae.”

Jungkook felt something boil in his tummy. Discomfort? Sadness? He doesn’t know, but he doesn’t like it. It almost felt like he’s ruining the couple’s getaway trip.

Not wanting to pay any more attention to his internal feelings, Jungkook speaks up.

“Are our rooms across from each other?” 

Taehyung laughed and shook his head.

”Of course not. We’re sharing,” he says excitedly. 

Jungkook frowns, only slightly panicking in his head. 

“We as in...the 3 of us?”

”Who else would be it?” Jimin asked. 

“I thought since you guys are together, you’d  want to spend time alone,” Jungkook trails off.

It makes Taehyung grin and he leans forward to pinch Jungkook’s cheeks teasingly.

”Don’t worry maknae, we can control ourself for a few days.”

”Yeah,” Jimin intervenes. “This trip is about you having fun. And the 3 of us are gonna spend it together for the most part!”

Jungkook closed his eyes and slumped in his seat. “I’m gonna go back home scarred for life,” he mutters to himself. 

Wordlessly, Jungkook shoves his earphones into his ears and plays his spotify playlist in an attempt to ignore the couple happily making even more plans. 

Jungkook doubts they’ll be able to do everything, but he’ll leave them be.