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Two Wise Men

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"Get a load of this Witch Weekly article. 'Attributes of the Perfect Man.'" Harry laughed. "How can they publish this rubbish?"

Severus snatched the magazine from Harry's grasp and began to read. "'First, he must be physically appealing.'" Severus looked at Harry over the top of his reading glasses and proceeded to study him from head to toe, eyes lingering on his recently spent bits long enough that said bits couldn't help but twitch hopefully. "Agreed."

He continued, "'Next, he must be decisive, tenacious, or otherwise hard-headed.'"

"It doesn't say that," Harry said, trying to grab the magazine back but Severus held it out of reach.

"I do like a man who knows what he wants," Severus said as if speaking to himself but the look he gave Harry was quite fond so Harry didn't argue the point.

"'Third, intelligence is a must, whether it be academic or what is known as "street-smart" in the vernacular—'"

Harry flicked his wand and the magazine flew from Severus's hands and tore itself into pieces, vanishing before it hit the floor.

"That was hardly necessary," Severus said, lips twitching in amusement.

"As a physically appealing and stubborn man," Harry began, throwing a leg over Severus's waist, "my 'street-smarts' tell me we have better things to do in bed than read that ridiculous rag."

"I married wisely," Severus pulled Harry closer, rolling his hips so Harry could feel his growing erection, "as my husband has all of the attributes of the perfect man."

Being an intelligent man, Harry replied the best way he knew how: by kissing Severus quiet.