Amanda felt bad.
Okay, maybe not, the entire thing was fucking hilarious to her and she was kind of mad that she didn’t plan it on purpose. She watched as Diana and Akko argued, the former holding an iPhone that looked horribly out of place in her hand. Akko looked bewildered and just about ready to tear her hair out.
“I don’t understand,” Diana’s jaw was set. “And this has been going since we started dating? It’s been two years, Atsuko.”
“Diana!” Akko threw her hands up, exasperated, “why is this such a big deal?”
It was a big deal because Diana took everything seriously, and perhaps she simply wasn’t ready to learn about these kinds of things. Amanda really didn’t think this through.
“Are you ashamed of this relationship?” Diana rarely sounded so agitated.
“That’s not fair!” Akko shot back, “I can’t believe we’re arguing about this!”
“Then I don’t understand why it isn’t common knowledge among your social circle that we are, in fact, exclusive.”
“Everyone knows!” Akko whined, “that I freaking love you!”
“It seems to be the case that there are several hundred uninformed,” Diana crossed her arms.
“You aren’t supposed to take these things too seriously,” Akko ran a hand through already disheveled hair. “That’s how things work over there, half of the stuff is a joke.”
“I don’t suppose the photos of Professor Croix and Professor Ursula’s wedding was a joke?”
“Of course not! I said half!”
“I understand if it was just oversight,” Diana pinched the bridge of her nose. “But even after putting it forth for discussion, you’re still dismissing it as a small, impertinent detail.”
Amanda knew technology was a foreign concept to Diana. No matter how much Akko would rub off on her, she was still a little too stiff and old-fashioned sometimes. She she should have known that the internet—and all the demons it had to offer—would be the end of her.
So she tried to break it to her slowly, starting with the most tame: Facebook.
“Holy shit,” Akko caved, grabbing her phone from her pocket and erratically tapping away.
In true Diana fashion, she had examined the social media site with academic rigor. She meticulously set up her profile, inspected the services it had to offer, examined all the features available—the whole deal. Then she found Akko’s profile.
Maybe she should have started with LinkedIn?
“Are you happy now?” the brunette shoved her phone towards Diana’s face.
Amanda grabbed her own phone, pressing on the blue app icon and refreshing her newsfeed as fast as she could.
Akko Kagari is in a relationship with Diana Cavendish — October 25, 2018
“That isn’t our anniversary.”