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the society of aggressive homosexuals

Chapter Text

jeno: (distant screaming)

 

lele: MAXIMUM WAGE! MAXIMUM WAGE! MAXIMUM WAGE! MAXIMUM W

 

injun: for the love of GOD when i asked for help with my finance homework chenle i didn’t mean this

 

injun: not this

 

injun: anything but this

 

lele: Then you will die for your cowardice.

 

donghyuck: that’s so fucking ominous lele PLEASE

 

donghyuck: i’m adding the new kid to the gc!!! PLEASE be normal. i’m BEGGING you

 

mark: which new kid

 

mark: i wasn’t informed of a new kid

 

donghyuck: not my fault you went to college instead of purposefully getting held back to stay and graduate with us mr. lee!

 

mark: YOU’RE mr. lee

 

mark: JENO’S mr. lee

 

mark: half of the population is mr. lee be specific

 

mark: anyways tell me about this new kid. which clique is he in

 

jisung: he joined gsa with us and i think i saw his name on the dance team

 

donghyuck: THE FUCK YOU DID

 

donghyuck: HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DANCING YET HE JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL GHSDJFJNG

 

injun: god hyuck will you ever shut up about this supposed pretty boy

 

lele: his name is na jaemin he’s new he’s allegedly been hyuck’s best friend for YEARS but we’ve just now been alerted to his existence

 

jeno: he was in the hospital for a hot minute

 

donghyuck: (about a year)

 

jeno: now he’s back and he’s transferring here so yay??

 

donghyuck: YAY!!!!

 

donghyuck: now he’s not good with people so be nice and don’t be. don’t. don’t be your usual stupid selves

 

lele: EVER AGAIN?

 

donghyuck: give it time

 

donghyuck has added nana to the chat!

 

mark: hi!!!

 

donghyuck: jaemin this is the gsa plus mark he’s dumb

 

mark: i’m not dumb i’m just in college now

 

donghyuck: (he’s dumb)

 

donghyuck: so this is everyone!!! we’re also all (minus mark) on the dance team, which apparently you’re on despite the fact that UR NOT SUPPOSED TO BE but It’s Cool

 

nana: SORRY

 

nana: hihihi i’m na jaemin and i have scoliosis

 

injun: we know hyuck won’t shut up about you

 

nana: AW

 

nana: and sorry about the dance team hyuck the guy who wanted me to join was really cute and i couldn’t say no he had the cutest smile i melted

 

lele: ok he passed the test hes a real gay!!!!

 

hyuck: wait who was it

 

nana: idk i think his name was jeno or smth

 

hyuck: HGKJSNHDFKJNSAHKGNSHAHFKJSHNAKGSNHDKFNHK

 

jeno: Hello friends i am here!

 

nana: Oh No

 

jeno: Goodb  y ;;e friend si  am gggone,,

 

nana: SORRY

 

hyuck: that’s jeno. he’s gay

 

mark: this is honestly the best thing to happen to me all week. welcome jaemin

 

nana: hgdfnskjdg

 

hyuck: everyone introduce yourselves to jaemin because i know him and  he’s Not gonna ask

 

mark: i’m mark lee!!! i go to the local uni nd im majoring in business and entrepreneurship hehe. i do. music stuff. i guess

 

mark: i’m straight

 

hyuck: he’s bi

 

mark: i’m STRAIGHT

 

hyuck: he’s biiii!

 

mark: also i’m trans c:

 

injun: cursed emoticon mark. thank you

 

injun: hi i’m huang renjun/hwang injoon nd i’m from china!!! i’m a senior, i hate everthing, i love my dogs, i like art, and uh i do ballet nd stuff

 

injun: i’m gay ://

 

lele: why are u sad…. being gay is great…… i can just. push over mark whenever i see him and say it’s gay privilege

 

mark: see SOMEONE acknowledges i’m straight

 

hyuck: He Likes Boys

 

lele: hi i’m zhong chenle and i’m from china too

 

lele: i like to sing and dance obv and i like being gay :)))) i’m a junior, 17

 

jeno: im lee jeno and i like singing and playing the guitar. also i’m bi and i love my girlfriend <3 i’m a senior and i’m 18

 

donghyuck: i Know u know me but i wanna feel special so :))

 

donghyuck: im lee donghyuck, im a senior, 18, uh

 

donghyuck: im hard of hearing c: and i like to sing but i can’t sing so. uh i’m big gay!! and i am an angel

 

jisung: you’re literally a demon

 

jisung: AND you have one of the nicest speaking voices i’ve ever heard so What’s The Truth…

 

jisung: hi i’m jisung im a sophomore i’m 16 i like to dance and yes

 

mark: jisung doesn’t talk much

 

mark: he likes cuddles. Remember This

 

nana: noted

 

jisung: I DO NOT LIKE CUDDLES.

 

nana: noted

 

donghyuck: he likes cuddles

 

nana: you Fools

 

lele: you come into my house? you call ME a fool? do you know who i am, son? do you know how much power i have?

 

nana: ok chan

 

lele: MY NAME IS CHWNLE

 

nana: ok chan

 

donghyuck: the hospital changed jaemin

 

donghyuck: he was an angel nana what happened

 

nana: u took the only good food i ever got

 

donghyuck: IT WAS A PUDDING CUP. IM SORRY

 

nana: it was the only pudding cup i ever got from them

 

nana: and you STOLE it

 

donghyuck: IM SORRY……

 

injun: jaemin is only further solidifying the case

 

injun: you are a demon

 

lele: stop trying to use fancy legal terms you’ve never even taken law and justice

 

injun: come back to me when you have five tons of finance homework kid

 

lele: i will slaughter you. fool. this is the last time you make a mockery of me in my own home.

 

nana: is he normally like this?

 

jisung: yeah it’s some weird power trip

 

lele: jisung i’d threaten you but ur like   . a baby

 

jisung: i’m three months younger than you

 

lele: Baby

 

jisung: i Will hurt you

 

lele: infant. tiny infant. with tiny infant hands

 

jisung: is chenle still in the library or did he go with jeno to the civics room?

 

jeno: library. crush him

 

lele: BYE JAEMIN IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU I HAVE TO GO RUN FROM A SEVENTH GRADER BYEHNSJ

 

jisung: That’s Right. Run.

 

nana: i’ve known this gc for less than an hour but if anything happened to any of you i’d kill everyone and then myself

 

mark: aw that’s gay

 

donghyuck: mark. you’re gay

 

mark: I’M STRAIGHSJNHGKJDFNHKJGHDJFNHK

 

 


 

 

private chat between donghyuck  and nana!

 

donghyuck: so was it okay? youre not freaked out anymore?

 

nana: no not really

 

nana: i embarrassed myself in front of jeno hgsjdfnhjnh but everyone’s really nice and funny and i look forward to getting to know them better

 

donghyuck: you just wanna flirt with jeno

 

nana: NO I DONT

 

nana: he scares me now

 

donghyuck: HOW

 

nana: he’s so ominous….. i feel like he’s batman or something

 

donghyuck: lee jeno. aka batman

 

donghyuck: i’m losing my shit thank you so much

 

nana: stop laughing at me :(((

 

nana: anyways my mom’s calling me for dinner i gtg!!! bye love you

 

donghyuck: MWAH love you too

 

nana: and don’t think for a second that i don’t realize mark is the cute boy you’ve been gushing to me about for the duration of my hospital stay

 

donghyuck: what

 

nana: :)

 

nana has logged off!

 

donghyuck: NANA?

 

donghyuck: COME BACK EXPLAIN THIS

 

donghyuck: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

 

donghyuck: JAEMIN

Chapter Text

injun: hey jaemin when do you start school

 

nana: monday! dunno why but i’m highkey excited

 

donghyuck: it’s because he spent a year learning nothing but khan academy content

 

nana: i. watched. every. single. video. they. had.

 

jeno: a diligent boy

 

nana: it was HELL

 

nana: i played some games on my phone but SOMEONE stole my dsi so i couldn’t play animal crossing :///

 

donghyuck: sorry i  lent it to mark and he dropped it in his bowl of oatmeal

 

mark: firstly

 

mark: that was you

 

mark: secondly

 

mark: it was a bowl of rice krispy treat cereal

 

donghyuck: HOW DO YOU REMEMBER THAT

 

mark: because you looked at a picture of jaemin that he sent you and said “u know? his back is snappin cracklin and poppin rn” and then laughed so hard you dropped the dsi into the bowl

 

nana: i’m not even mad anymore. thanks donghyuck

 

nana: you’re reimbursing me though

 

donghyuck: jaemin, baby, i’m going to put this in the simplest terms possible so that even ur tiny wittwe pea bwain can undewstand okay?

 

nana: yes

 

donghyuck: I’m Broke.

 

nana: i have three dollars in my wallet. that is all

 

donghyuck: i’m broker

 

nana: INSURANCE SCAMS DIDNT STEAL ALL UR MONEY DONGHYUCK

 

donghyuck: POINT JAEMIN!

 

injun: hi kids

 

injun: i have a question

 

donghyuck: yes

 

injun: not you. i don’t like you

 

nana: yes

 

injun: you have no reason for me to not like you AND you’re the one i’m questioning! it’s the little things in life huh

 

mark: .     you make no sense

 

injun: mwah love u

 

injun: jaemin how did you stay in the hospital for a year with SCOLIOSIS

 

nana: DID HYUCK NOT TELL YOUGHSDNFKJGh

 

injun: DONGHYUCK?

 

donghyuck: ok. maybe i forgot to tell them. but hear me out: i’m gay

 

nana: we know

 

injun: JAEMIN TELL ME

 

nana: I’M DUMB AND LAZY SO I USE SCOLIOSIS AS A GENERAL TERM FOR MY BACK PROBLEMSHGSKJDFNH

 

nana: I HAVE THIS WEIRD COMPLICATED BACK THING AND. OKAY THIS IS A LONG STORY AND I DONT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO TELL IT

 

lele: tell us i’m highkey interested

 

nana: no

 

jisung: PLEASE

 

nana: fine but only because this is the first time you’ve ever showed interest in me

 

jisung: sorry

 

nana: i threw out my back dancing and went to the hospital right? so i go there and theyre like “jaemin old buddy old pal theres a lot wrong w ur mf uh back”

 

donghyuck: it’s true i was the doctor

 

nana: so after i recuperated from. u know. crippling back pain. they had to examine my Back Spine Disk Thingies i forget what theyre called

 

mark: spinal discs

 

lele: shut UP nerd

 

nana: and they found out i had a big ol herniated disc so i had to get surgery and they hit a damn nerve when they were digging around in my back so that was fun

 

nana: because of that i couldn’t walk for a while so. i had to go to physical therapy for months until i could walk normally and Do Stuff

 

nana: and yeah. that is the story of me having a stupid back

 

donghyuck: bravo!

 

jisung: chenle is crying

 

lele: JISUNG IS CRYING TOO.

 

lele: THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU THROW PEOPLE UNDER THE BUS JISUNG

 

nana: I’M FINE DON’T CRY

 

lele: TOO LATE

 

jeno: i’ll find u and splash hot coffee in your face if you don’t stop crying chenle

 

lele: do it. i’ll cut your loser girlfriend’s hair

 

nana: who’s ur girlfriend!!! i’m on a mission to learn as many names as i can before i graduate

 

jeno: ko eunji

 

jeno: she goes to mark’s college so you wouldn’t know her

 

nana: aw :(

 

jeno: yeah haha

 

donghyuck: “yeah haha” is jeno there

 

jeno: Yeah Haha

 

injun: chenle stole my fucking costa rican COOKIES

 

lele: sorry

 

injun: SORRY DOESN’T CUT IT.

 

mark: he did what

 

injun: i won kahoot. my teacher. she gave me these delicious little packaged costa rican cookies. chikys. they’re delicious. i’ve had them before. i set them down on my desk and went to go get some hand sanitizer. because i’m a good kid.

 

injun: I COME BACK AND ZHONG CHENLE HAS ALL SIX OF MY CHIKYS IN HIS MOUTH.

 

lele: sorry

 

mark: oh my god…

 

injun: YOU’RE REIMBURSING ME.

 

lele: i’m poor

 

injun: YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE THAT’S WORTH MORE THAN MARK.

 

mark: honestly? i was on ur side but if i ever find a pack of chikys i’m going to give them to chenle and watch the light in your eyes die out

 

injun: bold of you to assume there was ever any light in my eyes

 

lele: huehuehue you can’t catch me i’m hopping on a plane tomorrow

 

nana: WHERE ARE YOU GOING

 

lele: CHINA, BABY!

 

injun: all the better to kill u for my dear

 

lele: jeno you’ll protect me right? you have….. (reads smudged handwriting on back of hand) musk kles…. right?

 

jeno: i’m going to help renjun

 

lele: JAEMIN?

 

nana: kid you’ve never even met me

 

nana: i could be 5’0 and 70 pounds

 

donghyuck: if you were 5’0 and 70 pounds as an asian boy you would be dead

 

nana: good

 

nana: chenle i am a cripple

 

lele: PLEASE…. THEY’RE GOING TO KILL ME…..

 

lele: DONGHYUCK?

 

donghyuck: remember when u drank my orange juice? yeah i thought so

 

lele: JISUNG?

 

jisung: sorry i can’t i have to walk my cactus

 

lele: MARK. PLEASe

 

mark: slightly offended that you didn’t come to me first

 

lele: i know ur busy with schoolwork and i respect that

 

mark: i always have time for my favorite underclassman

 

lele: SUCK IT JISUNG

 

mark: jisung was an eighth grade when i was a senior i hardly ever saw him

 

jisung: fair. i love you dad

 

mark: i’mm cryi;;gngh;;,....

 

mark: jisung where are you come let me kiss your cheek Right Now,,h,gm,,,,,,

 

jisung: no

 

mark: ok. fair. lawful. i respect that

 

mark: chenle if you can run to my dorm before renjun jeno and possibly hyuck catch you….. i’ll give you a ride home so jeno doesn’t tear you to shreds in his car

 

injun: i’m gonna steal his plane ticket. i wanna see grandma

 

lele: YOUR GRANDMOTHER IS DEAD.

 

injun: I HAVE ANOTHER GRANDMOTHER

 

lele: BOTH OF YOUR GRANDMOTHERS ARE DEAD.

 

lele: STOP CALLING MY GRANDMOTHER YOUR GRANDMA. IT’S WEIRD

 

injun: MAYBE IF U DIDNT EAT MY COOKIES I WOULD CALL YOUR GRANDMA SOMETHING SPICY LIKE ABUELA

 

lele: RENJUN CAN YOU EVEN SAY ABUELA

 

injun: NO

 

lele: FAIR. LAWFUL. PLEASE DON’T KILL ME

 

injun: OMW TO RIP YOUR FACE OFF NERD :]

 

lele: MARK I’M COMINGNGH

 

mark: RUN FASTER

 

nana: does this normally happen? chenle getting attacked

 

jisung: yeah this is the part where we all rebel usually

 

jisung: mark is his refuge

 

mark: hell yeah i am

 

donghyuck: hell yeah? yell heah

 

mark: You Complete Me.

 


 

 

private chat between donghyuck and nana!

 

donghyuck: hey

 

donghyuck: u

 

donghyuck: dumb idiot

 

nana: yes

 

donghyuck: you know i’m proud of u for like. walking again and stuff right

 

nana: yes

 

donghyuck: good i don’t say it enough

 

donghyuck: and i’m glad you’re back

 

donghyuck: things weren’t the same without you

 

nana: you know what hyuckie?

 

nana: me too

 

donghyuck: stop it you’re gonna make me cry

 

donghyuck: i’m gonna turn in, i have college prep early tomorrow morning and i am Not here for it

 

donghyuck: gn babie i love you and i’m so excited to start seeing ur ugly mug everywhere monday

 

donghyuck: <3

 

nana: gn ugly i love your idiot mark loving ass

 

nana: 3>

 

nana: wait how do you make it

 

donghyuck: it goes the other way

 

nana: wait i got it

 

nana: Ɛ>

 

donghyuck: WHAT THE FUCK

 

nana has logged off!


donghyuck: what the fuck.........

Chapter Text

injun: how does it feel to be back in the motherland you traitor

 

mark: THE MOTHERLANDSHJHGKJDSF

 

lele: (kissy noise) i’ll bring u back a keychain baobei

 

injun: DON’T CALL ME BAOBEI YOU HOT DOG!!!

 

jeno: .                Hot dog

 

injun: shut up i’ll kill you

 

injun: chenle shut up go kiss jisung or something

 

jisung: go WHAT

 

lele: hahaha that’s a funny jjoke;;; relal funny,,, ,rnejunn,,,,,,j;;;;;

 


 

 

private chat between injun and lele!

 

lele: (whispering softly, hand cupped around mouth) i’ll kill you

 

injun: haha funny joke. you know what you should do? Go confess to jisung

 

lele: I’LL KILL YOU

 

injun: you know what you should do instead? Go Tell Jisung You Have A Fat Crush On Him

 

lele: junnie do you want to go to china? do you want me to fucking book you a private jet? because I Will

 

injun: buy my silence. permanently. for $8000 a month, i will stop

 

lele: do you accept payment in the form of my love

 

injun: what the fuck is that. i dont know what that is

 

lele: renjun.

 

injun: cash or check

 

lele: not worth it. i’m sorry

 

injun: then you deserve what’s coming to you

 

lele: injun?

 

lele: RENJUN NO

 


 

 

chat between mark, injun, jeno, donghyuck, nana, lele, and jisung!

 

injun: hey jisung

 

jisung: yeah

 

injun: guess what

 

jisung: what

 

lele: i’ll fucking kill you,,,

 

injun: chenle misses u

 

jisung: that’s nice. tell him i miss him too

 

lele: im crying;;; my Son;;;g;;;

 

mark: do you want to fucking fight

 

lele: Sqquare up, good Srir,,

 

jeno: good sriracha

 

injun: good 3racha

 

donghyuck: cursed. go away

 

injun: when did u get here. disgusting

 

donghyuck: jaemin and i are on break he just got done learning like three choreographies

 

mark: how is his back not on fire

 

nana: it is

 

donghyuck: i tried to ask him to take a break after half of the first choreo and he tried to punch me in the face with his Strong Man Muscles

 

nana: that’s what u get for testing god

 

injun: Peace be with you

 

jisung: sorry i couldn’t show you the choreos jaemin my brother dragged me out to see mark

 

mark: my Son… welcome

 

jisung: i’ll bite your calves off old man

 

mark: that’ll do that’ll do

 

injun: i still don’t get why you needed to teach jaemin the choreos in a day that’s way too many we have like five

 

donghyuck: well we just have one more

 

donghyuck: and jaemin learns choreos fast so

 

injun: which one does he have left

 

donghyuck: t7s intro. saved the best for last

 

injun: why wouldn’t you run them in order idiot

 

donghyuck: you wanna do the srb outro last? that’s boring

 

injun: donghyuck. it’s the outro. we have to perform it last anyways

 

donghyuck: this is the last time you make a fool out of me in my own domain

 

injun: i will crush you

 

donghyuck: not if i crush myself first

 

nana: can i PLEASE learn the dance

 

mark: ARE YOU REALLY DOING THE INTRO WITHOUT ME. THE INTRO. THAT I CHOREOGRAPHED. THE INTRO THAT I CENTERED IN THE OPENING OF

 

donghyuck: IT’S A GOOD INTRO

 

donghyuck: LOOK I’M MAKING JAEMIN OPENING CENTER

 

nana: I DON’T WANT TO BE CENTER

 

mark: MAKE JENO OPENING CENTER

 

jeno: DON’T MAKE ME CENTER MAKE JISUNG CENTER

 

injun: MAKE CHENLE CENTER

 

lele: MAKE RENJUN CENTER

 

mark: MAKE. JENO. CENTER

 

jisung: just make me center

 

donghyuck: k

 

mark: there. Problem Solved

 

donghyuck: i will eat you

 

mark: not if i eat myself first :*

 

donghyuck: DON’T KISSY FACE ME I’LL. IDK WHAT I’LL DO YOU’RE DEFLECTING

 

injun: you’ll kiss him

 

donghyuck: I’LL KISS YOU

 

donghyuck: WAHIT NO WAIT WAIT

 

mark: NOT IF I KIS SYOU FIRST;

 

jeno: WHAT GOES ON

 

donghyuck: I’M GOING TO GO FINISH TEACHING JAEMIN THE CHOREOS BYE

 

nana: hyuck is more awkward around mark than he was around me when we dated. just saying

 

nana: bye i love you guys

 

injun: you’ve known us for like. three minutes

 

nana: three days but ok renjun

 

jisung: wait

 

jeno: WHEN DID YOU DATE

 

nana: bye!!!!

 

injun: well that was chaotic. wonderful

mark: Date? they Dated? like. boyfriends? they dated? They d

 

lele: aw lil markie can’t handle the fact that hyuckie has kissed someone

 

injun: relax mark they probably didn’t even kiss hyuck is a coward

 

mark: i’m not worried about donghyuck kissing anyone because i’m not romantically invested in hyuck and he can date whoever he wants

 

jeno: i call bullshit

 

lele: me 2

 

jisung: me three

 

injun: me four! mark you lose

 

mark: you know what? heterophobia. heterophobia everywhere i look

 

lele: just admit you’re big gay for donghyuck and well stop

 

mark: IM NOT

 

jeno: PROM NIGHT 2018. MARK GOt DRUNK AT THE AFTERPARTY AND AFTER CRYING ABOUT HOW MUCHH HED MISS ALL OF US AFTER GRADUATING HE SAID “IM GONNA MISS HYUCK MOST

OF ALL” WHILE HYUCK WAS IN THE BATHROOM

 

injun: I REMEMBER

 

injun: WHEN WE ASKED WHY HE SAID “BECAUSE IM IN LOVE WITH HIM WHY THE HELL ELSE”

 

mark: IM GONNA EAt YOU

 

jeno: ur gonna eat hyuck first

 

mark: you want me to just. take a big chomp out of his neck? i’m a vampire i’m down for that

 

lele: mark for the last time you’re not a vampire

 

mark: shut it mortal

 

lele: i give up. he’s hopeless. let him get blood poisoning. let him not get donghyuck. none of this matters in the end

 

jisung: hey come get a milkshake with me

 

lele: okay!!!!!

 

injun: whipped

 

jeno: can we stop calling everyone whipped for their best friends

 

lele: jeno you’ve been in love with renjun for approximately 18 years

 

jeno: chenle is Cancelled.

 

lele: do it, coward. you cannot hurt me here while i am in my domain

 

lele: jisung is sitting a foot in front of me sipping a strawberry milkshake contently. it is sunday afternoon. i am at peace.

 

injun: chenle

 

injun: you’re in china

 

jisung: im in korea

 

lele: stop poisoning my mind space both of you

 

jisung: highkey forgot chenle was gone and wanted him to go get a milkshake w me now i’m sad

 

jeno: IM COMING WHAT FLAVOR DO YOU WANT

 

jisung: strawberry

 

lele: on god…..

 

jeno: we’ll film a mukbang for you lele

 

lele: STOPSNDNSND

 

nana: i’m back!!!

 

nana: .

 

nana: what the HELL did i miss

 

injun: just. don’t scroll up. don’t scroll up. don’t scr

 

jeno: RENJUN? RENJUN?

 

mark: he’s meditating guys

 

lele: he’s died

Chapter Text

jeno: HAPPY RETURNING DAY JAEMIN I’M EXCITED TO MEET YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME

 

nana: I’M EXCITED TO MEET YOU TOO

 

donghyuck: WHAT DO YOU HAVE FIRST PERIOD

 

nana: AP CALCULUS

 

donghyuck: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TAKE THAT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING

 

nana: IT’S THE LAST SLOT FOR AP CALC LEFT THE OTHER PERIOD IS FULL

 

injun: HEY I HAVE THAT FIRST PERIOD TOO

 

injun: I’LL MOVE SO YOU CAN SIT NEXT TO ME

 

donghyuck: SECOND PERIOD?

 

nana: AP LIT

 

lele: JENO AND I HAVE THAT BUT I WON’T BE HERE

 

injun: have fun not meeting jaemin NERD

 

lele: you don’t even get a keychain anymore

 

donghyuck: WHAT DO YOU HAVE THIRD PERIOD

 

nana: AP PHYSICS

 

donghyuck: OH MY GOD…

 

nana: WHAT

 

donghyuck: WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY AP CLASSES

 

nana: LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL

 

nana: GOTTA MAKE IT COUNT

 

donghyuck: FOURTH PERIOD?

 

nana: AP COMPARATIVE POLITICS AND GOVERNMENT

 

donghyuck: WHAT LUNCH DO YOU HAVE.

 

nana: SECOND LUNCH

 

jeno: JACKPOT LADIES!

 

mark: ,

 

jeno: MARK I LOVE YOU YOU’RE VALID I’M SORRY FOR GOING ON MY CISHET BULLSHIT I PROMISE TO HOP OFF

 

injun: he’s detoxing. we love you mark

 

jeno: Jackpot, Good Fellows!

 

mark: much better. i love you

 

jeno: im love you,,,,?,

 

mark: hey

 

mark: eunji says you should come visit

 

jeno: eunji my angel u can text me urself

 

mark: this is eunji my phone got stolen :((

 

jeno: NO

 

jeno: eunji i lvoe you give mark a hug for me

 

mark: okay!!! i’ve gotta run to class but i’ll text you once i get a new phone i promise!!! bye ilu

 

jeno: MARK

 

mark: yes

 

jeno: GIVE EUNJI A KISS ON THE CHEEK FOR ME

 

mark: you Know i can’t do that

 

jeno: from one straight guy to another

 

mark: you’re bi

 

mark: thanks for recognizing my hettiness tho

 

mark: i’m still not gonna kiss your girlfriend for you though

 

nana: i’m crying you two are the only het couple i trust

 

donghyuck: kim hyuna and kim hyojong didn’t die for this het erasure, na jaemin!

 

nana: sorry i love you hyuna

 

donghyuck: AND HYOJONG?

 

nana: screamy boy. light of my life. love him

 

nana: what did you mean when you said jackpot jeno

 

jeno: All of us have that lunch period

 

jeno: All Of Us.

 

lele: am i the only one that doesn’t get to meet jaemin irl today :(((

 

donghyuck: yes

 

lele: can you facetime me at lunch tho

 

injun: Bever.

 

lele: beaver?

 

injun: NEVER

 

lele: THE

 

lele: you get negative gifts when i get back

 

injun: whats that supposed to mean

 

lele: everyone gets gifts but you don’t

 

injun: EVEN JAEMIN?

 

lele: especially jaemin it’s his first china day

 

jeno: HELL YEAH I LOVE CHINA DAY

 

nana: what’s china day

 

mark: anytime chenle or renjun comes back from china we go to chenle’s house open all the gifts they got us and watch a chinese drama for a day

 

mark: it’s great

 

jeno: AND THE FOOD

 

jisung: mmmm the food

 

jisung: chenle can cook his way into my heart

 

lele: im coming home Immediately, someone start up a grill and get me a duck

 

jeno: once again chenle exposes himself

 

lele: do you ever shut UP

 

jeno: i’ll kill you

 

lele: just found out im staying in china for the rest of my life!!! i wish you all the best of luck in your endeavors except for jeno

 

lele: jeno can go die

 

jeno: :(

 

mark: chenle? i’ll kill you

 

lele: IM SO SORRY JENO

 

jeno: You Should Be.

 

nana: WHERE IS MY CLASS

 

injun: WHERE ARE YOU ILL WALK YOU THERE BUT YOU HAVE TO HURRY ITS FIVE MINUTES TILL THE TARDY BELL

 

nana: I DONT KNOW

 

nana: THERE ARE PEOPLE

 

nana: YELLOW LOCKERS

 

injun: STAY WHERE YOU ARE

 

donghyuck: explain to me why i just saw renjun naruto run through the yellow wing’s hall

 

jeno: it’s the most effective and time-saving way to run

 

donghyuck: get to first period you fool

 

mark: donghyuck go to first

 

nana: RENJUN? IS THAT YOU

 

donghyuck: WHATS HE LOOK LIKE

 

nana: DARK BROWN HAIR. UH. ASIAN

 

donghyuck: WE’RE ALL ASIAN. ALL OF US ARE ASIAN

 

mark: i self-identify as white. sorry

 

donghyuck: MOST OF US ARE ASIAN.

 

nana: ITS HIM

 

nana: all he did was bend over take my foot in his hand and then pull me towards the class

 

nana: i’m hopping on one fotoofhan

 

donghyuck: u good

 

nana: he pulled me over

 

nana: OKAY THE BELLS ABOUT TO RING BYE MWAH I LOVE YOU

 

donghyuck: WHO? EVERYONE BUT MARK? ME?

 

nana: ALL OF YOU

 

jisung: good luck jaemin!!

 

nana: ESPECIALLY YOU. I LOVE YOU THE MOSTEST. GOODBYE

 

mark: and as mysteriously as he arrived

 

lele: he was gone

 

mark: kiss me

 

lele: you’re an old man fuck off i only date freshmen

 

mark: why

 

lele: all the sophomores are assholes

 

jeno: you’re a sophomore

 

lele: exactly

 

jisung: Oh, Worm?

 

mark: i’m SICK of your teenager phrases. you hooligans

 

donghyuck: then perish

 

jeno: (omaban eyes)

 

donghyuck: OMABAN? FUCKING OMABAN?

 

jeno: I MEANT OBAMA

 

mark: that’s it

 

mark has left the chat!

 

donghyuck: about time

 

jeno has kicked donghyuck from the chat!

 

jisung: ah…. peace at last

 

lele: now that the buffoons are gone im banning all swear words. swearing is punishable by death

 

jisung: heck

 

jeno: you’re on thin fucking ice kid  

 

jeno: oh

 

jeno: oh no

 

jeno has left the chat!

 

lele: and then there were four

 

jisung: sike

 

jisung has left the chat!

 

lele: WHAT

 

injun has left the chat!

 

lele: JAEMIN????

 

nana has left the chat!

 

lele: well now no ones here so i can say it :’)

 

lele: JISUNF COME TO CHINA AND GIVE ME A BIG KISS OH MY GOD I WANT TO KISS YOUR CHEEKS ANDNEVWR STOP UR FACE IS SO SQUISHY IM GINNA CEY I LIKE YOU SO MUCH

 

lele: fucj im in deep aren’t i

 

lele: what if it’s.

 

lele: nope i’m Not falling in lvoe i’m too young for that

 

lele: hehe i should like. Stop tearing up

 

lele: why am i treating this like a priv twitter account

 

lele: chenle STOP crying

 

lele: GOODNIGHT

 

lele: it’s like 8am

 

lele: did i just respond to myselfg

 

lele: GOODNIGHT.

 

Chapter Text

donghyuck has created a group chat!

 

donghyuck has added mark, injun, jeno, nana, lele, and jisung to the chat!

 

donghyuck: gentlemen

 

injun: shut up

 

donghyuck: NEVER.

 

donghyuck: our beloved nana’s first day of school has been a success

 

jeno: jaemin ur the light of my life. thank you for existing

 

donghyuck: and to think you used to be scared of jeno

 

jeno: WHAT

 

donghyuck: but that is neither here nor there

 

donghyuck: i propose we regroup at the froyo place and cry about class

 

injun: i literally have like three pounds of homework

 

donghyuck: bold of you to assume i was asking you

 

injun: I’m Going!

 

nana: aw you guys don’t have to do that

 

nana: (whispering) donghyuck i’ll kill you

 

jeno: YOU QERE AFRAID OF ME?

 

nana: NO

 

donghyuck: YES

 

nana: MAYBE

 

jeno: WHY.

 

nana: IDK YOU JUST GAVE OFF THIS REALLY OMINOUS VIBE??? LIKE BATMAN

 

jeno: BATMAN?

 

nana: BATMAN.

 

donghyuck: maybe batman can be ur always

 

mark: nowwww KISS

 

jeno: Eunji? Eunji Where Are Y

 

mark: hey jeno

 

mark: pm me real quick

 

private chat between jeno and mark!

 

jeno: what do you want heathen

 

mark: listen

 

jeno: yessir

 

mark: are you and eunji monogamous?

 

jeno: , Yeah Why

 

mark: clearly she doesn’t think so

 

mark: i just saw her stumble out of the men’s dorm at 8am hungover and draped around a foreign exchange student

 

jeno: oh

 

mark: she kissed him

 

mark: and she had her phone. the same phone she had before

 

mark: i’m really sorry you had to find out through me

 

jeno: you’re wrong

 

mark: what?

 

jeno: eunji wouldn’t do that to me you saw someone else

 

jeno: we had plans for the future she wouldn’t ditch those

 

mark: had?

 

jeno: we have plans.

 

mark: jeno please listen to me and break up with her now because

 

mark: i know eunji

 

mark: she’s stubborn and she’ll never admit that she’s cheating

 

jeno: she’s not fucking cheating on me shut up mark

 

jeno: i can’t believe you right now

 

jeno: why are you lying to me like this? and so blatantly, too? do you want eunji or something? is that it?

 

jeno: you asked if we were monogamous in the beginning for a reason didn’t you

 

mark: no???

 

jeno: you wanted to see if you could date her too didn’t you? god you’re so eager to get over donghyuck

 

jeno: you really did mean it when you said as soon as you got into college you would never pine over him again huh

 

jeno: maybe he likes you too dumbass

 

mark: leave him out of this.

 

mark: why are YOU getting so defensive over eunji? i know you don’t like her

 

jeno: what the fuck

 

jeno: she’s my girlfriend of course i like her

 

jeno: i love her

 

mark:   every time ANYONE brings her up, you get reserved. you don’t talk a lot. i’m barely passing psychology but even i know you’re clearly over her so choke on your stubborn pride and confront her about the fact that she’s fucking cheating on you, jeno.

 

jeno: you’re so fucking jealous it’s not even funny

 

mark: are you really going to trust eunji, who you’ve only been dating for a while, over ME, WHO YOU’VE KNOWN SINCE WE WERE KIDS?

 

jeno: fuck you

 

mark: dont internalize this

 

mark: i know you will but please so i don’t know why i’m asking you not to but don’t just push this shit down until you forget about it

 

mark: talk to her about it

 

jeno: so she can dump me because of outlandish accusations and you can swoop in and steal her? fuck you. fuck off.

 

jeno: don’t fucking talk to me you piece of shit

 

jeno: what kind of friend are you

 

mark: jeno i’m sorry

 

mark: i promise my intentions aren’t what you think and i just want to help you not be as hurt as you will be

 

mark: i’m sorry if i made you mad

 

jeno: fuck. off.



 

 

jisung: can anyone drive me someplace tonight

 

jisung: hyuck?

 

donghyuck: i have to go visit my brother but i can get out of it

 

donghyuck: only use me as a last resort okay

 

jisung: injun?

 

injun: chenle took my car keys to china with him

 

jisung: damn you zhong

 

lele: im ssodoryy,,,;,::;:: frogjgiivw me kms sso sorryryy,;(:;,::::::

 

jisung: Appease Me.

 

jisung: jeno?

 

jeno: where are you going

 

jisung: mark’s dorm

 

jeno: no

 

jisung: you can go visit eunji

 

jeno: i can’t.

 

donghyuck: do not. use full stops. on the baby.

 

jisung: hes PISSED

 

injun: trust me i know he’s in sixth period and the veins in his neck are popping out

 

injun: he just looked at that message and shoved his phone into his pocket

 

jisung: let’s just. forget jeno is mad because he clearly doesn’t wanna talk about it

 

jisung: jaemin do you have a car?

 

nana: yeah

 

nana: i share it w my brother though and today is his day to use it

 

donghyuck: damn you yuta

 

mark: YUTA?

 

nana: ?

 

mark: NAKAMOTO YUTA?

 

nana: YEAH?

 

mark: HE LIVES ON MY FLOOR

 

nana: AW ILL COME VISIT YOU SOMETIME

 

donghyuck: sungie if you can meet me at my car right after school i’ll take you straight to mark’s

 

jisung: it’s ok i can take the bus

 

injun: what is jeno doing

 

donghyuck: HUH?

 

injun: he got his phone out

 

injun: THE

 

injun: HE STOOD UP AND WALKED OUT OF CLASS

 

injun: WHERE IS HE GOING

 

jeno: come on jisung

 

jisung: i am afraid

 

jeno: get your stuff and come to my car

 

mark: he’s not leaving class just to see me

 

jeno: you cant dictate what he does and doesn’t do shithead

 

donghyuck: jeno,,,, u good?

 

jisung: school ends in a class period can’t we just wait? we’re learning our first geometry concept

 

jeno: yeah

 

jeno: i’ll be out in my car come out whenever

 

jisung: im gay

 

lele: JISUNGNNFJS

 

injun: i have never been more afraid of my life

 

injun: and to think * **** **** ******* *****

 

lele: it’s okay guys i speak mandarin

 

injun: that’s. that’s not

 

 


 

 

private chat between lele and injun!

 

lele: and to think i like this fucking idiot

 

injun: HOW DID YOU FIGURE THAT OUT.

 

lele: say a word about jisung. i dare you

 

injun: yyou look very nice today my liege i love you

 

injun: did i mention i love you

 

lele: :*

 

injun: don’t say a word

 

lele: no promises

 

injun: chenle

 

lele: i want every variety of oreos you can find when i get back

 

injun: yes my liege

 

lele: Appease Me.

 

injun: yes my lord

 


 

 

lele: as i was saying

 

lele: i want some oreos

 

jisung: you haven’t even thought about oreos today

 

lele: how do you know

 

jisung: i know you

 

donghyuck: telepathy

 

lele: what am i thinking about right now

 

jisung: how you just blackmailed renjun and are gonna get a fuckton of oreos out of it

 

lele: HE’S TELEPATHIC YOUR HONOR

 

donghyuck: CHENLEHSJGKHSNDJKFNHJKn

 

injun: HELP.

 

Chapter Text

injun: how goes the studying sungie

 

jisung: i want to die

 

mark: i had an a in this class and i still can’t help him

 

mark: so i want to die more than him

 

lele: be  positive! spread love! smile! go on a run! eat fruits and vegetables!

 

mark:  SAYS U...

 

jisung: YOU HAVE NO SCHOOL ALL WEEKN AND YOU GET TO GO STAY IN CHINA AND EAT CHINESE FOOD AND SEE UR FAMILY

 

lele: lol i’m saying goodbye to my grandpa in a few hours i think i have it worse

 

donghyuck: What,

 

lele: DID I NOT TELL YALL WHY IM IN CHINA

 

nana: NO

 

lele: LOL MY GRANDPA DIED

 

injun: ABUELO?

 

donghyuck: RENJUN NO DNSJDJSNDN

 

nana: i’m sorry chenle that’s awful

 

lele: oh no i HATED him

 

donghyuck: CHENLEJDNSND

 

injun: mi abuelo fue un hombre mal

 

mark: i don’t think that’s correct

 

injun: what do you know Canada Man

 

nana: CANADA?

 

donghyuck: MARK IS FROM CANADA

 

injun: ORIGINALLY HES FROM NEW YORK BUT HE MOVED TO CANADA AND NOW HE LIVES HERE

 

injun: SOMETIMES HE MAKES AMERICAN FOOD AND ITS INCREDIBLE

 

lele: it’s disgusting

 

jisung: it’s incredible that his puny stomach can tolerate that much grease

 

mark: i’m older than you

 

jisung: weird flex but ok

 

donghyuck: who taught you the cool kid phrases

 

jisung: chenle

 

lele: i had no part in this

 

donghyuck: then perish

 

lele: I BREATHED?

 

donghyuck: some crimes can never be forgiven

 

mark: don’t bully my son that’s illegal

 

donghyuck: on what grounds

 

mark: he’s my son

 

injun: bully him

 

donghyuck: thank you. chenle die

 

lele: you tell me thsi on the day of my poor poor grandpa’s funeral…..

 

injun: your abuelo

 

lele: MY ABUELO’S FUNERAL, DONGHYUCK.

 

jisung: chenle, renjun

 

injun: yes

 

jisung: idk if anyone ever told you this but you’re chinese

 

lele: yes

 

injun: im not spanish?!

 

donghyuck: no

 

donghyuck: want me to say it in spanish?

 

donghyuck: no

 

lele: gracias

 

donghyuck: de nada

 

donghyuck: jeno how’s your well-deserved visit with eunji

 

jisung: i can see them in the courtyard through mark’s door window and it doesn’t look like theyrehgfnksnhgjdfjnhgdhfjj

 

lele: JISUNG?

 

mark: they’re fine!!! they got boba tea and are taking a walk

 

lele: WHAT DID YOU DO TO JISUNG

 

mark: oh i got excited about a question so i tackled him

 

donghyuck: ….okay nerd

 

donghyuck: jaemin are you somewhat comfortable with those choreographies we ran the other day

 

nana: yeah!!! i’m gonna practice some more tonight and then i should be fine

 

donghyuck: good because i just got told they’re moving the homecoming pep rally to this friday instead of next friday

 

injun: WHY WOULD THEY MOVE HOCO???

 

donghyuck: next friday is the day it’s supposed to storm really badly

 

donghyuck: and the gym is already taken next friday so we were gonna perform outside

 

donghyuck: so they just moved the entire dance to this saturday and the pep rally on friday

 

jisung: that’s stupid

 

donghyuck: incredibly

 

donghyuck: can you guys stay late after school for the rest of this week?

 

lele: well you see

 

lele: i’m kind of in china right now

 

donghyuck: Besides You, Fool.

 

nana: i can but idk how i’ll get home

 

donghyuck: you can stay w me or i can walk you home, either works

 

nana: nah it’s like an hour walk on foot

 

nana: i’ll just steal your bed

 

donghyuck: thank you. ive always wanted crippling back problems caused by a rickety couch that my best friend forced me to sleep on

 

nana: WOW IT’S ALMOST LIKE I HAVE CRIPPLING BACK PROBLEMS

 

mark: do yall want me to stop by and help with choreos or have you changed them up since i helped you guys choreograph this summer?

 

donghyuck: they’re the same

 

jisung: please please please please come see us!!! i love you and i dont see you enough :(((

 

injun: i second that minus the loving part

 

mark: HYUCK!!!!!!!

 

donghyuck: MARK!!!!!!!

 

mark: HE SAID HE LOVES ME!

 

mark: WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS HE’S NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE I’M CRYING!

 

jisung: firstly i’m sitting next to you

 

jisung: secondly im still in the chat

 

jisung: and finally you should Know i love you by now i dont verbally express things like you losers

 

jisung: i have cool guy syndrome

 

donghyuck: cool guy syndrome is adhd

 

nana: i have cool guy syndrome

 

jisung: i have the coolest guy syndrome. fight me

 

mark: what is the coolest guy syndrome

 

jisung: asperger’s, fool

 

donghyuck: did u not know,,

 

jisung: this is common knowledge

 

mark: no???

 

jisung: i just assumed u assumed

 

jisung: bc most people do

 

injun: doesn’t matter we love sungie no matter what and we know he loves us he just doesnt express it well!

 

nana: i think thats the nicest thing i’ve ever heard you say in this chat

 

injun: you have no proof i ever said anything

 

jisung: i have screenshots

 

injun: WHY DID YOU SCREENSHOT IT

 

jisung: my therapist told me to screenshot texts that make me happy so when things are bad i can go back and look at them

 

injun: my heart just fucking melted oh no

 

injun: jisung i love you so much :(((((( and i’ve only known you for a little while but i will literally die for you i’m so glad chenle befriended you and brought you into our stupid little friend group and i’m sorry we rag on you for not ever talking and calling you emo we really do love and adore you because you make us so so so happy we love you

 

donghyuck: ^^

 

mark: ^^

 

mark: he just kicked me out of my own dorm room so he could cry

 

jisung: DID NOT!!! YOU HAVE NO PROOF

 

jisung: when have you called me emo

 

lele: it was donghyuck

 

donghyuck: YOU HAVE NO PROOF!!!!!!!!!!

 

jeno: hey jisung can we leave now

 

mark: yeah i’ll walk him down and sign him out of the dorm

 

jisung: lemme get my stuff

 

jeno: you can just stay at my place tonight idc

 

jeno: i live like five minutes away from mark’s dorm it’s awful

 

mark: hell yeah it is

 

donghyuck: uh jeno

 

jeno: yes

 

donghyuck: have u considered that maybe,, a freshman staying at a senior’s house overnight with no prior notice may sound a little sus to said freshman’s parents?

 

jisung: bold of you to assume my parents care about me or my whereabouts

 

lele: JISUNGSHFJKNHSDK

 

nana: MOOD…

 

jeno: so yes hes crashing w me we’ll drive to school in the morning and it’ll be fine

 

injun: he needs clothes

 

jisung: it’s fine i stole one of mark’s shirts

 

mark: WHICH ONE

 

jisung: the one that was hanging up

 

jisung: it says gucci

 

mark: I JUST BOUGHT THAT

 

mark: I WAS GONNA WEAR IT ON MY DATE TOMORROW NIGHT >:((

 

mark: YOU REALLY WAITED UNTIL JENO DROVE AWAY TO TELL ME HUH

 

donghyuck: d-date

 

jeno: yes he did and hes smug about it

 

jeno: . date

 

jeno: but i thought

 

mark: you were wrong

 

mark: about both things

 

donghyuck: date?

 

mark: yeah theres this kid in my psych class who asked me to the movies so i said what the hell why not

 

donghyuck: oh

 

mark: kind of excited

 

mark: hes not that cute or bright or anything but he seems like a sweet kid

 

donghyuck: he?

 

mark: yeah

 

mark: i’m experimenting

 

donghyuck: oh ok

 


 

 

private chat between jeno and mark!

 

jeno: that was a dick move and you know it

 

mark: what

 

jeno: break hyuck’s heart and tell him you’re dating guys in the same few texts? that’s. shitty

 

mark: as shitty as eunji is to you?

 

jeno: what

 

mark: you bit your lip raw jeno i saw you when you picked jisung up

 

mark: you’re pulling your hair again

 

mark: idk what she said to you but clearly it stressed you out

 

jeno: keep your nose out of my relationship and focus on yours

 

mark: if i recall correctly, you’re the one who stuck your nose into mine.

 

mark: i’m tired. goodnight.

 

mark has logged off!

 

jeno: night.

 


 

 

private chat between injun and donghyuck!

 

injun: you okay?

 

donghyuck: yeah

 

donghyuck: it just. hurts

 

donghyuck: to know that a) hes not interested in me

 

donghyuck: and b) he’s interested in guys. just not me

 

injun: you have to give him a chance

 

donghyuck: idk

 

donghyuck: everything seems kind of pointless

 

donghyuck: no matter how i try to get his attention he ignores me

 

donghyuck: if i’m affectionate he freaks out and isolates himself from me

 

donghyuck: maybe he just hates me and doesn’t want to make things weird in our group so we’re stuck in acquaintance limbo

 

injun: no

 

injun: mark loves you all right?

 

injun: it doesnt even have to be love love

 

injun: he adores you as a friend

 

injun: he’s… he’s like jisung or me

 

injun: but less closed off

 

injun: you’ve just gotta go for it, okay? i promise you won’t be unhappy with the results

 

donghyuck: maybe some other time

 

donghyuck: i’m tired

 

donghyuck: and sad

 

donghyuck: i’m gonna go to bed early and try and shake this mood off

 

donghyuck: gn, i love you

 

injun: night hyuckie, i love you most

 

injun: talk to mark

 

injun: you won’t regret it

 

donghyuck has logged off!

 

injun has logged off!





Chapter Text

jisung: friends

 

jisung: against the wishes of my most trusted advisor jeno i must inform all of you that our beloved markno are in a perpetual argument yet they’re doing nothing about it

 

donghyuck: i gathered

 

injun: good morning

 

lele: morning

 

lele: jeno why dont u just have it out with mark right now so i can figure out what’s going on c:

 

mark: listen here buddy that was private information u hear

 

jeno: jisung i’ll eat you

 

mark: not if i eat him first

 

jeno: now that they know we’re arguing am i allowed to tell you to shut the fuck up dickhead

 

nana: i smell PROFANITY

 

donghyuck: go off jeno

 

mark: aren’t you supposed to be defending me

 

donghyuck: anyways

 

mark: WHAT DID I DO

 

injun: oh mark….

 

jeno: Oh Mark………. Maybe u shouldnt be policing relationships if ur still this oblivious!

 

mark: now listen here i may be a dumbass but i’m smart enough to understand the implications of that and i know with all of my heart they are Not true

 

mark: right hyuck

 

donghyuck: RIGHT LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHY WOULD I LIKE UR ASS…. ITS NOT LIKE UR MUCH TO BRAG ABOUT

 

nana: Ouch! mark i’ll kill you

 

mark: WHAT

 

injun: look at him. we had a perfectly good hyuck and you broke him. why would you do that to him

 

mark: WHAT

 

jeno: dumbass

 

lele: can i just say i love how markno are arguing but like……. you can tell it’s not that deep

 

mark: oh it’s deep jeno’s pissed

 

jeno: yeah i’m pissed

 

jeno: i still love mark though which is why i’m angry

 

mark: no you’re angry because you’re stubborn and don’t want to admit i’m right especially after *********

 

jisung: IT’S OKAY GUYS I CAN SPEAK ENGLISH

 

injun: u literally cant but continue

 

jisung: IT SAYS YESTERDAY BECAUSE JENO WAS ACTING WEIRD YESTERDAY!

 

lele: JENO WAS WITH EUNJI YESTERDAY

 

jisung: CHENLE DO U KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS

 

lele: YES!!!!!!!

 

nana: maybe we shouldnt pry into jeno’s relationship that seems a bit. far

 

jeno: yes thank u!

 

mark: ur never gonna talk about it otherwise though so no

 

mark: sorry jaemin i respect u but i know jeno’s never going to speak his mind

 

jeno: for your information i did yesterday

 

mark: well that explains it

 

jeno: fuck you you’re the one who wanted this

 

jeno: it’s your fucking fault

 

jeno: and you were wrong

 

mark: what’s this even about

 

jeno: cell phone.

 

mark: oh my GOD is she that paranoid

 

injun: what does this MEAN

 

nana: its not even 7am yet it’s too early for this

 

mark: hey jeno

 

jeno: yeah

 

mark: hit or miss i guess they never miss huh

 

injun: MARK NO

 

mark: U GOT A GIRLFRIEND? I BET SHE DOESNT KISS YA

 

donghyuck: MARK!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!

 

mark: SHE GON FIND A NEW BOY AND SHE WONT MISS YA!!!!!!!!!

 

mark: SHE GON SKRRRT AND HIT THE DAB LIKE WIZ KHALIFA!

 

jeno: That was cold

 

lele: i agree mark that was vicious and i dont even know half of what’s happening

 

jisung: violence for violence is the rule of beasts

 

jeno: thanks jisung

 

lele: whatd he do

 

jisung: Breathe

 

jeno: he crabwalked into my room then did a handstand and fell feet-forward onto my bed

 

jeno: then he pulled himself up and is now cuddling me

 

jeno: this has never happened before what do i do

 

lele: AW HE ONLY EVER CUDDLES WHEN HE CAN SENSE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS!!!

 

injun: are you implying that jisung is an emotional support dog

 

lele: i mean….

 

donghyuck: jisung say woof!

 

jisung: grrr

 

donghyuck: ok furry

 

lele: JISUNG IS A FURRY

 

mark: JISUNG IS A FURRYGHJSFN

 

injun: stop bullying jisung he’s not a furry :((

 

nana: a What

 

lele: oh jae

 

donghyuck: no one calls him that call him nana or minnie or jaem

 

nana: chenle is allowed to call me anything he wants to

 

nana: hes the light of my life

 

lele: can i call you min!!!!

 

nana: yes!!!!!!!!!!!

 

mark: this is so fucking wholesome im crying at 7am

 

mark: my bones melted

 

lele: do you need more?

 

mark: HUH?

 

lele: do you know how many bones you have right now? 206

 

lele: when you were born you had 369 but them puppies fused

 

lele: wouldn’t you want to go back?

 

lele: have as many bones as you used to?

 

lele: what if i could help you

 

mark: i am so fucking afraid please stay in china and don’t come back

 

injun: hush, let him speak

 

injun: tell me more

 

lele: not you! lest we not forget that ye once defended the Furry in His time of weakness. everyone knows that naughty children do not deserve their stolen bones

 

injun: i’m about to steal your fucking bones if you don’t give mine back you dense son of a bitch

 

lele: Hark! the Fool hath spake in mine presence! hitherto i thote all midgetes illiterate and mute!

 

donghyuck: a christmas miracle

 

injun: i’m going to beat your ass

 

lele: with all of the centimet'rs thee hast stored in thine adult bones

 

mark: why are you talking like this i’m so afraid

 

jeno: say youre afraid again and ill beat you up let the kid sell us bones

 

lele: art thou interest’d?

 

jeno: yyyes

 

lele: tell me the secrets of thine argument betwixt thee and marcus, Fool.

 

jeno: no

 

lele: Then perish.

 

injun: i don’t like it here anymore

 

lele: then kicketh the bucket

 

mark: are you using the shakespearean translator on lingojam to talk like that

 

jisung: i’m logged into his google rn and yes it’s in his history

 

lele: The just claimeth did get the right v'rdict.  Lodge one rosebush near the p'rch steps and waiteth f'r thy prey to findeth thee

 

lele: begone out of mine own searcheth hist'ry, Fool

 

jisung: What, You Egg?

 

mark: [he stabs him]

 

injun: i want to go HOME.

 

lele: fie! cometh h're and englut mine own coxcomb thee distemperate blinking idiot

 

injun: huh

 

lele: shouldn't thee all beest in class even but now

 

jisung: nay. i am “ill”

 

jeno: you’re going to school with me brat i’m not letting you stay home and ruin your education

 

jisung: HOLP ME

 

jisung: CHENLE

 

lele: your gods cannot helpe you now, Furry.

 

injun: i am officially skipping school so i don’t have to deal with all of ur combined bullshit

 

injun: except for you jaemin you’re lovely and we’re delighted to have you here

 

nana: c:

 

donghyuck: fuck it i’m coming with you

 

donghyuck: i wanna get froyo like we talked about a day or two ago

 

injun: you’re literally the biggest annoyance i’ve ever encountered but okay

 

donghyuck: aw i love you too :*

 

nana: u are NOT ditching me on my second day of school ever!!!

 

donghyuck: oh but i am

 

donghyuck: DONT GIVE ME THE SILENT TREATMENT JAEMIN WE STILL HAVE FIVE MINUTES OF THE WALK TO SCHOOL LEFT

 

donghyuck: I LOVE YOU :(((( FORGIVE ME

 

injun: why dont u just say it out loud dummy

 

donghyuck: he has his earbuds in and he’s got his music turned up and it’s making me sad because that’ll mess up his hearing and then he’ll be like me >:(((

 

nana: ...u DO care crying emoji crying emoji crying emoji

 

lele: u missed one

 

nana: thanks i didnt notice

 

nana: *crying emoji

 

lele: better

 

donghyuck: i’ll walk you to class how about that

 

nana: no stay the whole day and actually learn stuff don’t you have a test this week

 

donghyuck: i’m reaaaaally not feeling school today

 

donghyuck: shitty mood

 

mark: oh what happened who do i need to fight

 

jeno: i give up

 

injun: you complete and utter dumbass

 

lele: you FOOL

 

jisung: YOU NEANDERTHAL.

 

lele: YOU TROGLODYTE.

 

donghyuck: lol nothing im fine

 

injun: hyuckie i’ll take you to that cafe you like for breakfast and we can walk around town until lunchtime okay?

 

donghyuck: okay thank you junnie you’re too sweet i love you

 

jeno: hey mark

 

mark: don’t

 

jeno: how’re you holding up?

 

mark: fuck off!!! asshole

 

mark: i love you but you’re a dick

 

jeno: ...no u

 

mark: you big baby

 


 

 

private chat between donghyuck and mark!

 

donghyuck: hey mark!!!

 

mark: hyuck!!!!!! the light of my life what brings u to my dms

 

donghyuck: i just wanted to wish you good luck on ur date that u mentioned, that’s all

 

donghyuck: hope it goes well

 

mark: aw thanks!! i think it will, daniel’s a sweet guy

 

donghyuck: daniel?

 

mark: kang daniel

 

donghyuck: oh cool

 

mark: you need a love life by the way

 

donghyuck: oh no no my love life is great! lots of stuff happening

 

mark: oh yeah?

 

mark: like what

 

donghyuck: i’m gonna have a boyfriend by the end of the day

 

mark: you’re gonna WHAT

 

donghyuck: yeah,,

 

mark: oh

 

mark: that’s cool

 

donghyuck: yeah

 


 

 

private chat between donghyuck and nana!

 

donghyuck: i just did something really stupid

 

donghyuck: really really monumentally stupid

 

donghyuck: and idk if im gonna be able to get myself out of it

 

donghyuck: jaemin?

 

donghyuck: minnie

 

donghyuck: ah shit ur in class arent you

 

donghyuck: fuuuuck

 

donghyuck: okay okay i can do this

 

donghyuck: if things go south i might not be at practice today okay i don’t. i dont know

 

donghyuck: but can you have your melatonin stash with you in case i do come back? im gonna need it

 

donghyuck: im gonna go meet renjun now

 

donghyuck: hopefully everything goes well

 

donghyuck: this is a bad idea

 

donghyuck: bye minnie do well in class

 

donghyuck: i love you

 

donghyuck has logged off!






Chapter Text

private chat between nana and donghyuck!

 

nana: duckie

 

nana: idk if you’re still there or whatever but do whatever you were going to do

 

nana: the outcome can’t possibly be as bad as you’re picturing in your head

 

donghyuck: i already did

 

donghyuck: it was as bad as i pictured it in my head

 

donghyuck: i hate him oh my god i hate him i hate him i hate him

 

nana: who?

 

donghyuck: fucking daniel kang

 

nana: i thought he moved away

 

donghyuck: he’s back apparently

 

donghyuck: he’s mark’s date tonight

 

donghyuck: and mark pmed me and kept messing with me ab my love life and i just. i wanted to impress him

 

donghyuck: and i was so thrown from the fact that daniel was back that i just. i told him that my love life was fine and then i told him i’m gonna have a boyfriend by the end of the day

 

donghyuck: renjun and i went to get coffee and i was holding his hand across the table because he does that when i need to be comforted

 

donghyuck: and i don’t know what i was thinking it was the worst idea ever

 

donghyuck: i just.

 

nana: you kissed him?

 

donghyuck: i kissed him

 

donghyuck: and don’t get me wrong i enjoyed it he’s a good kisser and he’s pretty but he’s one of my best friends and it felt WRONG and all i want is mark but i can’t have him i can never have him

 

donghyuck: anyways

 

donghyuck: renjun pulled away

 

donghyuck: he looked at me and then he bolted into the bathroom

 

donghyuck: i didn’t even try to follow him i can’t do that i’ve embarrassed myself enough

 

donghyuck: he hates me oh god jaemin he’s going to hate me

 

donghyuck: this is daniel all over again

 

donghyuck: why do i keep doing this

 

donghyuck: one day i’m going to slip up and do it with mark too and he’s gonna leave me too because everyone. leaves

 

nana: i’m not leaving

 

nana: mark is NOT leaving

 

nana: renjun isn’t leaving

 

nana: i don’t know him that well but i understand him well enough to know that he cares deeply for you and he’ll understand everything if you just explain it to him

 

nana: tell him about daniel

 

nana: he’ll understand i promise

 

donghyuck: what if he doesn’t? i don’t wanna lose him too i know we joke around like we hate each other in the gc but i love him so much he was there for me when mark graduated and he was the only one who pushed for me to take more advanced classes this year he cares so much for me and i feel the same towards him i can’t lose him he’s such a huge part of my life

 

nana: text him

 

nana: now

 

donghyuck: fine

 


 

 

private chat between donghyuck and injun!

 

donghyuck: renjun?

 

injun: what

 

donghyuck: can you come out

 

donghyuck: and talk to me

 

injun: i just want to know why you did it

 

injun: you know i don’t want a relationship not after last year

 

donghyuck: i know

 

donghyuck: and i’m sorry

 

injun: then why did you do it!!!

 

donghyuck: i accidentally told mark that i would have a boyfriend by the end of the day

 

donghyuck: because he said he was going on a date with someone from my past who contributed to a fuckton of my mental health problems right now

 

donghyuck: but mark didnt know that

 

donghyuck: and i was disoriented and i said i’d have a boyfriend and i. panicked and kissed you and i know that’s really shitty and i’m so sorry

 

donghyuck: i don’t expect you to be my friend anymore but please don’t hate me

 

injun: woah woah woah all i asked was for you to explain i didn’t ask you to grovel

 

injun: even i’m not that evil

 

injun: i understand duckie it’s okay

 

injun: i just wish you would’ve. explained before kissing me

 

injun: a kid’s gotta prepare himself to kiss his new fake boyfriend

 

donghyuck: ?????

 

injun: i’ll be your fake boyfriend. idiot

 

donghyuck: ?!??!?!?!????!!!?!?!?!?!?!???

 

injun: we’re gonna be the best fucking power couple ever

 

donghyuck: but what about mark i’m only doing this for him

 

donghyuck: that seems a little selfish

 

donghyuck: what’s in it for you

 

injun: donghyuck i’m touch starved literally just hang off me like how you want to with mark and k*ss me or whatever and i’ll be content

 

donghyuck: that’s gay

 

injun: we’re gay now babie

 

donghyuck: when are we gonna tell the others

 

injun: idk why don’t u come kiss me and find out the answer

 

donghyuck: i’m not kissing you in the stall of a cafe men’s bathroom

 

injun: it’s not a stall it’s a whole ass private bathroom!!!

 

injun: this place is deluxe

 

donghyuck: come back your coffee is getting cold

 

donghyuck: we can talk out the details

 

injun: no

 

injun: this bathroom smells good

 

donghyuck: you’re so WEIRD we’re breaking up

 

injun: IT’S A CINNAMON-APPLE SCENTED CANDLE I WANT IT

 

donghyuck: I’LL BUY YOU ONE JUST GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM

 

injun: HAVE MY COFFEE IN HAND AND BE READY TO RUN.

 

donghyuck: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

 

injun: I’M GOING TO STEAL THE CANDLE

 

donghyuck: RENJUN! DO NOT STEAL THE CANDLE!

 

injun: FUCK THE PATRIARCHY THIS ONE’S FOR YOU KARL MARX MY LOVELY BOYFRIEND!

 

donghyuck: KARL MARX WOULD’VE WANTED EVERYONE TO HAVE THAT CANDLE. NOT JUST YOU YOU CAPITALIST PIG

 

injun: THIS ONE’S FOR YOU MOTHMAN MY MOTHY BOYFRIEND!

 

donghyuck: MOTHMAN LIVES IN POINT PLEASANT, WEST VIRGINIA, AND HAS NO TIME FOR MATTERS AS TRIVIAL OF THIS. PUT THE CANDLE DOWN.

 

injun: IM RUNNING BITCH ARE YOU COMING OR NOT!

 

injun: BYE MWAH LOVE U

 

donghyuck: FUUUCK

 


 

 

injun: hey it’s yall’s lunch hour right

 

nana: yeah we just got out of class why

 

lele: every hour is lunch hour when you’re in china c:

 

injun: anyways

 

donghyuck: renjun and i have an announcement

 

nana: OH BOY

 

nana: OH LAWD HE COMIN!!!!

 

mark: what’s ur announcement and why is jaemin so excited

 

nana: JAEMIN IS EXCITED BECAUSE JAEMIN KNOWS WHAT’S HAPPENING AND HE TOLD HYUCK SO

 

donghyuck: yeah he kind of did

 

donghyuck: anyways

 

donghyuck: i have a boyfriend now

 

jeno: oh?

 

injun: and so do i

 

jeno: OH

 

donghyuck: renjun and i are dating

 

lele: sorry you

 

lele: you’re

 

jisung: you’re WHAT

 

lele: donghyuck i thought you were in love with [REDACTED]

 

lele: and renjun i thought you hated men

 

injun: you don’t know my life

 

injun: i’ve been pining over hyuckie since graduation

 

injun: and now he’s mine

 

-

 

private chat between donghyuck and injun!

 

donghyuck: you are Way too into this

 

injun: let me have my MOMENT you bitch

 

donghyuck: boo you whore




 

 

jisung: that’s…. a lot to take in

 

nana: im happy for you guys

 

mark: oh cool

 

mark: renjun i didn’t even notice you liked him

 

mark: and i really thought hyuck liked someone else with my whole chest

 

lele: who did you think hyuck liked

 

mark: [redacted]

 

lele: i want nothing more than to punch you in the face

 

lele: but you’re emotionally wounded so i’ll pass… this time

 

jisung: i’m in awe how did this happen

 

jisung: this is the last thing i would’ve expected to happen in a million years

 

injun: well hyuck and i were getting coffee this morning and he leaned across the table and just. kissed me

 

injun: so

 

donghyuck: he just looked so pretty there i couldn’t not kiss him

 

mark: that’s great, im proud of you both and i’m really happy for both of you

 

donghyuck: haha thanks

 


 

 

private chat between jeno and mark!

 

jeno: we’re in the same boat my friend

 

mark: the fuck is that supposed to mean

 

jeno: you like hyuck. i liked renjun. now they’re dating

 

jeno: solidarity you know

 

mark: you still like renjun

 

mark: you’re just using eunji to get over him rejecting you last year and i know it

 

jeno: let’s not talk about that

 

jeno: what we are gonna talk about is how this is so obviously a ploy to get you to “notice” how whipped you are for hyuck and hopefully ask him out

 

mark: what the hell

 

jeno: in a year when you’re on a date with donghyuck and he casually says “hey remember when i fake dated renjun to get you to date me” know that i told you so

 

mark: that is literally the most insane thing i’ve heard all week

 

mark: just let them be a disgustingly cute couple and move on from renjun and let me move on from donghyuck

 

mark: please

 

mark: i’m trying to let go

 

mark: they deserve each other. you have eunji (for however much longer). i’ll find someone too. i don’t deserve donghyuck and i’ve accepted it along with the fact that i really need to stop being so hung up over him

 

jeno: woah kid listen i didn’t ask for your sobfest

 

jeno: and i’m going to sidestep our perpetual argument as jisung put it

 

jeno: and say that when they break up

 

jeno: you need to get off your ass and go ask hyuck out i’m tired of seeing you both beat yourselves up about how much you love the other

 

mark: stop saying things like that it’s bad enough with the others

 

mark: you’re entertaining the part of me that’s stupid and won’t listen to reason and i don’t like it okay

 

mark: i have a date to get ready for so i’m going to go do that

 

mark: i’m going to try and find a chance in daniel okay

 

jeno: daniel who

 

mark: kang

 

jeno: fuck

 

jeno: you can’t go out with him he ruined hyuck

 

mark: what?

 

mark: you’re thinking of a different daniel. this daniel is sweet and he wouldn’t hurt a fly

 

jeno: his name used to be kang euigeon but he changed it

 

jeno: he’s from busan

 

jeno: he’s a dancer

 

jeno: i know exactly which daniel you’re talking about and i’m telling you don’t go on another date with him after tonight

 

jeno: if you do it’s going to kill hyuck

 

jeno: i’m going to be the one to tell you the story but just know… hyuck’s anxiety wouldn’t be half as bad as it is now if daniel kang had never been in his life

 

jeno: i don’t know if he’s changed and i don’t care just get the hell away from him after this date

 

mark: what the fuck

 

mark: ...okay?

 

jeno: i promise you everything will be better for all of us if you don’t date daniel kang

 

mark: …….okay

 

mark: i’ll try

 

jeno: good enough

 

jeno: good luck on your date, mark. ask him if he remembers me and “haechan.”

 

jeno has logged off!

 

mark: that was weird as shit

 

mark: but k

 

mark has logged off!




Chapter Text

private chat between nana and donghyuck!

 

nana: how goes your day off from school

 

donghyuck: good

 

donghyuck: renjun and i have been at my house sucking face for an hour

 

nana: DID I ASK? NO

 

donghyuck: it was imperative for you to know

 

nana: IT WAS NOT!!!!

 

donghyuck: no longer am i touch starved! i have a fake boyfriend to make out with when i’m sad

 

nana: ur gonna get attaaaaached

 

donghyuck: am not

 

donghyuck: he’s a good fuckin kisser tho i’ll miss it whenever we break up

 

donghyuck: hold on mark is texting me

 

donghyuck: OH NO MARK IS TEXTING ME

 

nana: AAAAAAAH

 


 

 

private chat between mark and donghyuck!

 

mark: hey i have a question

 

donghyuck: shoot

 

mark: do you know daniel? jeno said you did

 

donghyuck: yeah haha we used to be close friends but we fell out of touch

 

mark: ah

 

mark: one more thing

 

donghyuck: yeah?

 

mark: who’s haechan? jeno told me to ask daniel if he remembered him and “haechan” and i didn’t want to ask without knowing the story

 

donghyuck: i used to go by that

 

donghyuck: back in school before i transferred

 

donghyuck: so that the kids wouldn’t know my real name

 

donghyuck: so thst’s whatdaniel knew me as

 

mark: you okay?

 

donghyuck: yeyah jsut a typo!! i’m fine

 


 

private chat between donghyuck and injun!

 

donghyuck: i can’t breathe whdere areyiu

 

injun: in the kitchen

 

injun: i’ll be right there

 

injun: mark again?

 

donghyuck: not quite

 


 

private chat between jeno and mark!

 

jeno: so did you go on the date

 

mark: yeah, he’s really sweet

 

mark: i like him a lot

 

jeno: what the fuck mark i told you not to mess with him

 

jeno: he’s toxic

 

mark: donghyuck said he was fine

 

mark: and he was really nice to me

 

jeno: you talked to donghyuck about him?

 

mark: yeah?

 

jeno: i have to go

 

jeno: he’s at his house right

 

mark: yeah

 

jeno: rn im on a campus date with eunji but she’s in the bathroom okay i need you to run out to the bathrooms outside your dorm and when she comes out tell her i had to go help donghyuck

 

mark: what are you talking about

 

mark: take me with you

 

mark: i want to know what’s going on and if hyuck’s in trouble then i want to help

 

jeno: you’re not gonna understand and you’re only gonna make it worse

 

mark: i already don’t understand

 

mark: donghyuck said he was cool with daniel

 

jeno: well sometimes donghyuck lies about his emotional state in case you haven’t noticed mark

 

mark: what happened between them

 

mark: i’m coming to your car are you parked where you usually are

 

jeno: don’t mark

 

jeno: and its not my story to tell

 

jeno: im leaving without you

 

jeno has logged off!

 

mark: #life update: just jumped into a moving car!

 


 

private chat between mark and donghyuck!

 

mark: hyuckie are you okay

 

donghyuck: yeyah im fime

 

donghyuck: mark this is renjun i’d really appreciate it if you didn’t text hyuck right now

 

mark: give him the phone back

 

donghyuck: he’s not emotionally stable he wouldn’t want to talk to you like this

 

donghyuck: i don’t know how but he got his hands on some alcohol and he’s having a breakdown and i don’t know how to fix this so please don’t text him

 

mark: renjun please just give him the fucking phone

 

donghyuck: mark

 

mark: donghyuck?

 

donghyuck: you cantm datehim he’ll hurt you

 

donghyuck: i throught he was sweet too but he wasmtn

 

donghyuck: icant let theya happen tot you too

 

donghyuck: ilovr you too ncuh to see him doto you wjat he did to mme

 

donghyuck: i kvoebuou

 

donghyuck: i can’t!!!! fuck type!!!!

 

donghyuck: i lvoe you

 

donghyuck: fuuuuuuck

 

mark: hyuckie i love you too can you please hold on and wait for me i’m almost to your house

 

donghyuck: dont say that to me!!! fucj you

 

mark: what?

 

donghyuck: dont day that uou love me do you have any idea how bad that hurts!!!!!

 

donghyuck: AAAAAAAAAH

 

donghyuck: maaaaaarklee

 

donghyuck: i wan tto jsudd you

 

mark: you want to what?

 

donghyuck: isaid i want t kiss you

 

mark: donghyuck i think you should try and sleep

 

mark: you have a boyfriend

 

mark: you have renjun okay

 

mark: he’s good for you

 

donghyuck: isaid what i fukcking said mark

 

mark: you’re not thinking straight

 

mark: jeno and i will be over in just a few minutes with some stuff for you

 

mark: try and sleep

 

mark: for me

 

donghyuck: inknew they were wrong i knew you didn’t fuucjing loveme

 

donghyuck: ims orry

 

donghyuck: im. so sorry

 

donghyuck has logged off!

 


 

lele: jisung is a furry

 

jisung: hey you! i hate you

 

lele: suddenly i forgot how to read korean

 

lele: what’s an annyeonghaseyo

 

jisung: i’m going to kill u

 

jisung: ni hao kitty bitch!

 

lele: KITTY BITCH? JISUNG? IS THAT U?

 

jisung: . to be honest

 

jisung: i dont know

 

jisung: THE KIDS IN MY CLASS R CALLING EACH OTHER “KITTY BOYS” “KITTY GIRLS” AND “KITTY BITCHES”

 

jisung: THEYRE IMPRINTING ON ME.

 

lele: whys the gc so dead

 

jisung: oh yeah jeno stranded me to go keep hyuck from dying or something

 

jisung: its chill

 

donghyuck: WHO TOLD U IM DYINGNM? IM FINE

 

donghyuck: IM SINGLE AMD READY 2 PARTY!

 

jisung: you have a loving boyfriend of one day

 

donghyuck: whho

 

donghyuck: is it mark

 

donghyuck: OH MY GID OH IS IT AMRK?

 

lele: no hyuckie your boyfriend is renjun remember

 

lele: he asked you out today

 

donghyuck: oh yeah

 

donghyuck: gonna go ksis him

 

donghyuck: bye,

 

lele: that was strange im concerned

 


 

private chat between jeno and mark!

 

jeno: you okay?

 

mark: yeah

 

mark: i just needed a breather

 

mark: that was a lot

 

jeno: hyuck’s asking for you to come back

 

mark: i don’t think i’m gonna come back for a while

 

mark: my head hurts

 

mark: i need to do some thinking

 

jeno: okay

 

jeno has gone offline!

 

mark: ...okay

 

mark has gone offline!

 


 

mark sits at the end of the lees’ long driveway, his back against the cold metal post of their mailbox. his eyes are shut tightly, and his knees are bunched up to his chest, held there snugly by his arms. his head throbs, and there’s something in the pit of his stomach, something cold, something heavy. he wants nothing more than to throw up.

 

anything mark could’ve previously heard is drowned out by the rush of cars in the distance. donghyuck is lucky to live in a neighborhood so close to the city—mark doesn’t have the privilege of falling asleep to traffic sounds anymore. which he supposes is a bit trivial, but he can’t sleep without something other than his roommate’s snoring to distract him.

 

the traffic is so loud that he doesn’t hear the footsteps approaching him, and he doesn’t realize someone is near him until they sit next to him and wrap an arm around him.

 

“hey,” jeno says softly, warmly. mark feels the weight in his stomach lessen a bit. jeno hasn’t willingly spoken to him since they first began arguing, and even in the few short conversations they’ve had face-to-face since, he hasn’t used his usual comforting tone of voice.

 

mark smiles. “hey,” he says back, eyes still closed.

 

he remembers why he’s outside and feels his heart constrict.

 

what hurts the most is that donghyuck knew he was coming. donghyuck knew mark and jeno were coming to visit, and he still decided to have renjun pinned against the wall of the entrance hallway. it doesn’t matter if donghyuck doesn’t know mark likes him—it matters that donghyuck knows jeno used to love renjun, and mark can only assume that hurts jeno just as much as it hurt to watch himself.

 

there’s a small part of him that thinks that donghyuck did it because mark was coming to visit. he stomps the thought down into the depths of his brain—the forbidden corner where all his thoughts concerning donghyuck go. there is too much imagery there: donghyuck sleeping, donghyuck cuddling him, donghyuck kissing him, holding his hand, laughing with him…

 

“penny for your thoughts?” jeno asks shortly, scooting closer to mark. there is no tension in the air between them as there was in the car. mark wonders why.

 

mark thinks for a few long seconds. he comes to an unsettling conclusion and pulls his knees even closer to his chest than they already had been.

 

“i think,” he says, and he doesn’t trust his voice as it wobbles and shakes and cracks with hoarseness, “i think i’m in love with him.”

 

jeno doesn’t say anything.

 

“and i think that he liked me, too, once… but he liked renjun more, and then he left me in the dust. i almost had him.”

 

jeno inhales sharply as if he’s going to say something, but he shakes his head. after a few seconds, he tries again, inhaling deeply as if it will convey the weight of his words.

 

mark does not comprehend what he says next for at least a few minutes.

 

“kang daniel emotionally abused donghyuck for an entire summer,” jeno whispers completely out of the blue, the words spilling past his lips so fast that mark can barely make them out. “when it turned physical, donghyuck broke it off. i don’t care if he’s changed, mark, he fucking traumatized donghyuck. do you get that? hyuck isn’t ever going to be the confident, happy-go-lucky freshman he was ever again.”

 

“fuck,” mark says quietly. he can’t even hear his own voice. “what the fuck.”

 

“now you know,” jeno sighs.

 

there’s nothing on mark’s mind anymore but the fury that he feels, the raging in his mind that turns his headache even worse and leaves a sour taste in his mouth. “i’m going to beat the shit out of him.”

 

“mark, you’re the size of a seventh grader.”

 

“brains over brawn, fuckwad,” mark shoots back, a smile now tugging at the corners of his lips.

 

jeno grins at him and rests his head on mark’s shoulder. mark thinks he missed this—being able to be as affectionate with jeno as he wanted. he has that now, even if it’s only for a short while longer.

 

“thank you for telling me about eunji,” jeno says, and mark startles, craning his neck to look at jeno’s face. his eyes are shut, and a frown is etched into his face, but he looks serene. “i think you’re right. about her cheating, i mean. i was going to break up with her today.”

 

“what did she say to you that day? i thought you got over your nervous habits.”

 

“i did,” jeno groans softly. “she made me pick them up again. i asked her about her phone—because she had it, and you were right, it was her old phone. so i asked her if she was avoiding me, and she blew the fuck up on me. like, berated me for twenty minutes about how i should trust her, about how awful of a boyfriend i am. which, you know, seems suspicious, considering i treat her much better than most people would treat someone like her.”

 

mark unwraps a hand from around his knees and intertwines it with jeno’s free hand. “i’m sorry.”

 

“i didn’t even love her,” jeno snorts. “you were right about that, too. i kept trying to make myself, and i guess i liked her a little, but i still always have loved renjun. but that’s never going to happen.”

 

“i wish i was renjun,” mark laments, thinking back to the cause of his being outside.

 

jeno turns to look at him with a grin. “and i wish i was donghyuck. we’re fucking idiots. the only difference between you and i is that your love interest actually likes you back.”

 

mark sighs and closes his eyes. “shut up.”

 

he looks up at the sky. he can’t see the stars because of the clouds above, but he thinks of the forbidden thoughts in his mind and decides that donghyuck is prettier than any starry sky.

 

his phone buzzes in his pocket. it’s a text from jeno. he eyes the boy from the side, but the younger only nods his head at mark’s phone. he opens the text. it’s a screenshot of a conversation between jeno and jaemin.

 

“read,” jeno says. mark does.

 


 

jeno: is donghyuck only dating renjun to get mark’s attention?

 

nana: he’s doing it to impress mark so essentially yes

 

nana: if i still have to listen to him talk about how much he wants to kiss him when i haven’t even met the guy i’m going to explode

 

jeno: so to be clear donghyuck has a very real crush on mark

 

nana: yes he’s very strongly in gays with mark and is using renjun as an outlet for his frustrations

 

nana: why

 

nana: are u sending this to mark so he can step his coward ass up and claim his stinkie bf

 

jeno: actually yes thank u

 

nana: genius jaemin strikes again!

 


 

mark stares at the phone for a long time. at one point, jeno pokes him, and he flinches back into reality. “...so that’s why he’s so affectionate with me? that’s why he…”

 

jeno nods slowly.

 

mark squeezes his eyes shut. “god. i am such a fucking idiot.”

 

he pulls out his phone.

 


 

private chat between mark and donghyuck!

 

mark: can we talk tomorrow

 

donghyuck: ifyou come back inside we cna do anything you want

 

mark: donghyuck i’m serious i need to talk to you

 

donghyuck: yeah

 

donghyuck: that’s fine

 

mark: you need to go to bed and i need to get home. it’s late

 

mark: night donghyuck

 

mark: take some advil in the morning

 

donghyuck: gn

 

donghyuck: i fucking lov eu

 

donghyuck has logged off!

 

mark has logged off!

 


 

mark stands and offers his hand to jeno, pulling him up. “i propose we stay at your place and cuddle,” he says, smiling softly.

 

jeno laughs. his eyes crinkle up. mark realizes how much he missed making jeno laugh.

 

“come on,” jeno says, wrapping an arm around mark and guiding him forward in the dark. “let’s go home.”

Chapter Text

lele: good morning guys and gays today is thursday and i’m officially leaving for the airport

 

donghyuck: i can’t feel my HEAD

 

injun: that’s why we don’t drink kids! use donghyuck as an example

 

nana: i was asleep all of last night what happened

 

donghyuck: really what happened

 

injun: read ur texts

 

donghyuck: oh NO

 

mark: oh yes!

 

donghyuck: IM GONNA THROW NYSELF INTO A FUCKING VOLCANO!!!

 

lele: do you already have a volcano you want? i know a guy

 

donghyuck: NOT THE TIME THIS IS THE WORST MOMENT OF MY RNTIRE LIFE

 

injun: well. i read his texts and understand the implications of them so i can finally say donghyuck we’re breaking up

 

injun: finally a day with ur ass and all i got out of it was a candle

 

jisung: WHAT’S! HAPPENING!

 

injun: oh donghyuck and i fake dated because hyuck told mark he was gonna get a boyfriend

 

nana: WND I KNEW THE WHOLE TIME

 

mark: this the best part why did he date you renjun

 

injun: TO IMPREEEESSS YOU

 

donghyuck: MARK I CANT TALK TO YOU TODAY I HAVE TO WATER MY FISH

 

donghyuck: UH I HAVE TO EALK MY CAT

 

mark: hyuck

 

donghyuck: IM HUNGOVER!!! HAHA ILL BE IN BED ALL DAY

 

mark: donghyuck

 

donghyuck: IM SICK IM COMING DOWN WITH SOMETHING

 

mark: DONGHYUCK.

 

jisung: rhat was hot someone do that to me

 

lele: you’re like three

 

jisung: do it

 

lele: JISUNG.

 

lele: OH NO I DID IT

 

jisung: great now i want a fuckin boyfriend to say JISUNG menacingly

 

mark: i’m going to walk to your house

 

donghyuck: im at school

 

mark: no you’re not i can literally see your location on your contact

 

donghyuck: im running late!!! i should be there in a bit hah

 

mark: if you move a fucking muscle i’m throwing away your clc photocard collection

 

donghyuck: you wouldn’t do that to yujin you love her too much

 

mark: try me

 

mark: i’m coming over

 

mark: and we’re going to talk

 


 

 

private chat between mark and donghyuck!

 

mark: and then i’m going to kiss you

 

mark: okay?

 

donghyuck: YOURE GOINF TO WHAT

 

mark: you heard me

 

mark: i can see your house. i’m literally just down the block don’t you dare leave

 

donghyuck: . okay

 


 

 

nana: donghyuck u good?

 

donghyuck: im gonna fucking pitch myself into a sinkhole

 

lele: jaemin told jisung and i the story

 

nana: secondhand story!! i got it from renjun

 

injun: you SNITCH

 

mark: he’s just freaking out because i said i’m gonna kiss him

 

injun: you have literally NEVER been a confident gay. what’s going on

 

lele: it is a known fact that panicked gays become confident gays when faced with a panicking gay

 

mark: also i’ve been waiting for this for a long time

 

mark: well not waiting

 

mark: hoping

 

mark: hyuck can you let me in

 

donghyuck: Nope!

 

nana: DONGHYUCK

 

donghyuck: NOPE!

 

mark: come on let me in your bedroom

 

donghyuck: I DONT. I DONT TRUST THIS

 

donghyuck: RENJUN COME MAKE OUT WITH ME AGAIN AND SCARE MARK OFF

 

injun: no

 

injun: i felt so bad for mark that was really a bad move on your part

 

injun: also my back hurts from being THROWN INTO THE WALL

 

donghyuck: SORRY

 

donghyuck: I WAS SAD

 

donghyuck: AND DRUNK

 

injun: for the record mark hyuck is a great kisser you’ll be pleasantly surprised

 

donghyuck: do you have an off button

 

injun: nope :)

 

mark: let! me! in!

 

donghyuck: No!

 


 

 

private chat between mark and donghyuck!

 

mark: listen to me

 

donghyuck: not hearing it!

 

mark: when i met you

 

mark: you drove me insane

 

mark: i didn’t understand why you didn’t treat me differently

 

mark: everyone treated me different because to them i was the trans freak

 

mark: to everyone else i was a girl

 

mark: but you treated me like you would treat any of your male friends

 

mark: and i wasn’t. i wasn’t a girl. i was mark

 

donghyuck: youve always been mark to me

 

mark: not even jeno treated me as well as you did and he was (and is) my best friend

 

mark: and i think somewhere along the way i realized that i loved you

 

mark: i’ve known since i was about to graduate and you said school wouldn’t be the same without me

 

mark: that’s why we drifted apart after i graduated

 

mark: that’s why i got shitfaced at graduation

 

mark: because i knew i could never have you

 

donghyuck: what the fuck

 

donghyuck: i’ve liked you since i met you

 

donghyuck: i fell in love with you your senior year

 

donghyuck: at graduation i nearly kissed you and i distanced myself from you because i thought you knew i liked you and i thought that getting away from you would make it hurt less

 

donghyuck: but it didn’t and i’ve been so fucking lonely without your stupid ass all summer

 

donghyuck: im tired of the tenseness when we talk and im tired of having to cancel plans once i find out you’re going because every time i see you i want to kiss you and i cant and

 

donghyuck: it hurts so bad mark

 

donghyuck: to know that i can’t

 

mark: you can

 

mark: you always can

 

mark: please let me in your room

 

donghyuck: just a minute let mestop crying

 

mark: no let me in

 

mark: i want to be romantic and wipe away your tears and then kiss you

 

donghyuck: oh my god shut UP

 

mark: you love it!!! i heard that laugh mr lee!!!

 

donghyuck: we’re both mr lee dumbass

 

mark: OH I HEARD THE LOCK CLICK CAN I COME IN

 

donghyuck: . go ahead

 

mark: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 


 

 

as soon as mark steps into donghyuck’s bedroom, he’s met with an armful of donghyuck. the younger clings to his chest, hands gripping the back of his shirt and fingers digging into skin dangerously close to the seam of his binder. under any other circumstances with anyone else, mark would have pushed them away by now, but he finds that his sudden reminder of the fact that he has a binder (along with the rest of his dysphoria) is overpowered by the contentment that he feels with donghyuck safe in his arms.

 

donghyuck pulls away and stares at mark with red, puffy eyes, and mark thinks that he is beautiful, that he is definitely more beautiful than any fucking stars in the sky.

 

“fuck you,” donghyuck says weakly. “i hate you, i hate me, and i hate the fact that we were too stupid to date a long time ago and avoid all this shit.”

 

mark laughs, and he doesn’t really realize what’s happening until after it’s too late for his brain to do anything but short circuit. somewhere in the midst of his laughter, donghyuck has grabbed his jaw and is now staring at him. mark stares back and tries to find something definite in donghyuck’s expression, but he can’t find anything.

 

donghyuck laughs a little. mark takes that as a good sign.

 

“i love you,” donghyuck grins at him, and mark takes that as an even better sign.

 

donghyuck kisses him, and for once, mark thinks that (for once) everything is okay.

 

they kiss for what feels like hours for mark, but really just must be a few minutes before donghyuck pulls away and rests his forehead on mark’s.

 

mark finds himself asking without even thinking about it. “will you be my boyfriend?”

 

donghyuck beams, and it seems like he can’t get enough of mark, because he leans forward ever-so-slightly to kiss mark one more time. when he pulls away, his smile is so wide that his eyes are crinkled up like jeno’s. “yes, holy shit,” he says, leaning in again, and mark finds that, though his muscles ache from standing, he couldn’t feel more comfortable than when he’s kissing donghyuck.

 


 

 

mark: hey renjun

 

injun: yeah

 

mark: you were right

 

donghyuck: SHUT THE FUCK UP

 

mark: hes a really good kisser

 

injun: RIGHT? LIKE WHY

 

mark: Pretty boys kiss good!

 

injun: firstly

 

injun: it’s well***

 

injun: secondly

 

injun: im ugly and yet i kiss well? the conspiracy deepens

 

jeno: renjun shut the hell up you’re literally one of the prettiest boys i’ve ever seen

 

mark: oh he’s real bold your honor!

 

jeno: Mark shut up challenge!!!

 

mark: not till u break up with eunji!

 

jeno: INALREADY DID FUCK U

 

lele: you WHAT

 

jisung: so let me get this straight

 

jisung: donghyuck got sad last night and got drunk and accidentally confessed to mark

 

jisung: jeno comforted mark (who was sad) last night and apparently rekindled their friendship

 

jisung: donghyuck and renjun were fake dating and broke up this morning

 

jisung: this was immediately followed by mark going to donghyuck’s house and kissing him

 

jisung: somewhere in the middle of all this jeno broke up with his yearlong girlfriend

 

jisung: am i forgetting anything

 

jeno: nope

 

mark: oh hyuck and i are dating now

 

lele: OH MY GOD FUCKING GINALLY

 

nana: FUCJ YES

 

nana: PROUD OF U

 

donghyuck: mark is my boooooyfriend

 

mark: oh my god shut up ur making me feel valid i don’t like it

 

donghyuck: OH?

 


 

private chat between donghyuck and mark!

 

donghyuck: u r the prettiest boy

 

donghyuck: male

 

donghyuck: boy

 

donghyuck: and i love u

 

donghyuck: my handsome boyfriend

 

mark: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

 

donghyuck: you think i cant see you smiling? you’re LITERALLY cuddling the hell out of me i can see u being an embarrassed loser

 

donghyuck: but it’s cute

 

donghyuck: ur cute

 

donghyuck: i guess

 

mark: are you aware that i do not like you? in fact i hate you. this relationship is an elaborate scheme to take your money and use it for my tuition

 

donghyuck: Do i care? no

 

donghyuck: now get closer and kiss me idiot

 

mark: will do

 

mark: (various heart emojis)

 

donghyuck: why would u type that. you could just type the actual emojis instead of saying that you’re sending heart emojis. do you realize this

 

mark: (sad emojis)

 

donghyuck: you’re so fucking weird. i love you

 

mark: tthat’s gay…

 

donghyuck: then so be it! kiss me

 

mark: fine. but don’t expect me to like it

 

mark: (That was a Joke. I Will)

 

donghyuck: WILL U PLEASE FOr the LOVE OF GOD KISS ME.

 

mark has gone offline!

 

donghyuck has gone offline!


Chapter Text

donghyuck: lol i was so emotionally distressed for the three days of mark sadness that i forgot we have that dance performance for homecoming today

 

lele: my flight just got in hi babies im back

 

jisung: what FUCKING terminal are you at

 

injun: SHIT THE PERFORMANCE IS TODAY?

 

lele: JISUNG YOU CAME TO GET ME?

 

jisung: CORRECTION I MADE MARK HAUL MY ASS HERE AND HE’S ABUOT TO LEAVE WHERE ARE YOU

 

lele: IM IN THE FUCKING LOBBY

 

jisung: I SEE U

 

lele: WHERE ARE YOU

 

jisung: STAY THERE

 

mark: livetweeting their reunion because i see jisung but chenle doesnt

 

donghyuck: babe it’s not livetweeting you’re in a groupchat

 

mark: if you call me babe again i’m leaving jisung here and i’m going to drive through your ufcking chemistry class’s wall and sucker punch you

 

donghyuck: :(

 

mark: with my mouth

 

donghyuck: :)

 

injun: DISGUSTING.

 

mark: anyways! the gays

 

mark: jisung is running chenle still doesn’t see him

 

mark: that’s partly because i put sunglasses on him

 

mark: not sorry

 

mark: oh jisung is like five seconds away

 

mark: HE JUST UCKING JUMPED ONTO CHENLES BACK AND CHENLE LET OUT THIS TERRIBLE SCREECH AND DROPPED TO THE FLORO I CANT BREATHE

 

mark: HE FUCKING CROCODILE DEATH ROLLED TO GET JISUNG OFF HIM

 

mark: I THINK JISUNG HAS A CONCUSSION

 

mark: OH MY GOD HIS FUCKIMG NOSE IS BLEEDING

 

injun: chenle i’m going to rip your nostrils out

 

nana: but maybe… we could….. just….. Not do that

 

injun: it’s what he deserves

 

injun: an eye for an eye… a nose for a nose

 

jeno: hyuck i could talk to the principal and see if she’ll let us all get out of class to practice all day

 

donghyuck: that would literally be the sexiest thing you’ve ever said or will say please do that

 

jeno: k

 

donghyuck: go mr student body president!!!

 

mark: jeno stole my job wow…

 

jeno: sorry i love u

 

mark: jeno i am literally in love with you….

 

donghyuck: WOW…

 

jeno: mark its u it has always been u… it could only b u….

 

mark: bro………..

 

jeno: bro………….

 

donghyuck: i’m going to kick you BOTH from the chat

 

 

jisung: my nose: bleeding

 

lele: my heart: full

 

jisung: [I AM FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM MARK'S PRIUS]

 

mark: while im stopped at a red light i need to let you know chenle is just. sprawled on top of jisung

 

mark: personal space? in chenle’s vocabulary? it’s less likely than you think

 

lele:  it's free real estate

 

lele: bold of you to assume jisung cares i know he missed me and doesn’t know how to express it so i’m doing it for him

 

jisung: hgnjshdfjnhs nnnnn

 

jisung: nnnnnnnnshut UP

 

lele:  do you think i know how to do that? buddy if i could, I Would

 

nana: that is singlehandedly the most heartwarming thing i’ve heard all day thank u chenle

 

nana: hey are you coming to school to practice with us!!! i haven’t met you yet and i’d like to

 

lele: yeah i’ll be at school!!

 

jeno: good news lads! i talked the principal into letting us get out of class

 

donghyuck: SWEET

 

donghyuck: so what do we do

 

jeno: as soon as the bell for the end of first period rings just go to our practice room in the gym and we can stay there until the homecoming assembly

 

donghyuck: perfect someone entertain me until first period is over

 

donghyuck: jaemin entertain me

 

nana: no im in calc

 

donghyuck: FINE

 

donghyuck: jeno

 

jeno: no i have class

 

injun: dont even ask jaemin’s taking my phone so that i can’t be distracted

 

injun: little does he know i have chenles second phone with me

 

lele: it’s me! renjun!

 

lele: LOG OUT OF MY ACCOUNT AND LOG INTO YOUR OWN

 

injun: FINE.

 

injun: hi this is jaemin i took renjun’s stolen phone

 

injun: this is the end i’ll see you at practice hyuck

 

donghyuck: jisungs not even at school

 

donghyuck: neither is chenle

 

donghyuck: mark is driving

 

donghyuck: i have fifteen minutes to kill

 

donghyuck: and nothing. to. do

 

donghyuck: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA bored

 

donghyuck has changed their name to hyuck!

 

hyuck: WOAH YOU CAN CHANGE SCREEN NAMES

 

hyuck has changed nana’s name to jaemin!

 

hyuck has changed injun’s name to renjun

 

hyuck has changed lele’s name to chenle!

 

hyuck: the nicknames were bothering me

 

hyuck: but my name is a nickname now….

 

hyuck: oh NO

 

chenle: you’re so needy

 

chenle has changed their name to lele!

 

lele: change it again and you die

 

lele: we’re pulling into the school now mark’s gonna drop us off

 

hyuck: which one of you fuckers called into the office and told them i need to report to the admissions booth

 

hyuck: shut up chenle i can hear you laughing in the hallways where are you

 

lele: you’ll never find me huehuehue

 

jisung: i stuffed him into a locker while we wait for the bell to ring

 

hyuck: mark shut UP :(((((

 

mark: :]

 

lele: what

 

hyuck: he left me fucking flowers in the admissions office >:((((

 

jisung: that’s cute

 

hyuck: okay everyone just meet up at our practice place i guess nd then we’ll practice or whatever

 

hyuck: i’m gonna head in early to set up so i’ll see you once the bell rings

 

hyuck: oh my god this place is a MESSHDNFJSNHJKGDNHFKJSKDGHKDSNHFMARK

 

lele: MARK?

 

hyuck:   jesus FUCK he hid in the practice room and waited

 

lele: i’m coming in there too i wanna jump on injun when he comes in

 

lele: and he won’t know i’m here yet because jaemin has his phone hehe

 

jeno: devastating news lads

 

hyuck: yes

 

jeno: i have to help decorate the gym for hoco so i can’t practice with you guys until after lunch

 

hyuck: f

 

lele: i’ll livetweet the experience for you

 

hyuck: CAN WE STOP. CALLING. IT. LIVETWEETING.

 

lele: nope! :)

 

hyuck: oh the bell rang time to have 6 tired teenage boys in a tiny room hitting each other

 

jeno: tell me how renjun reacts 2 chenle and mark being there

 

jeno: AND JAEMIN TOO

 

hyuck: injun walked in saw chenle dropped his bag and fucking charged him

 

hyuck: chenle is now sitting on his shoulders

 

lele: as i should be

 

hyuck: he then turned saw mark yeeted chenle off his shoulders and jumped into mark’s arms screaming “MAAAAAAAAARK FUUCKING LEEEEE I MISSED UUUUU”

 

hyuck: valid valid

 

hyuck: jaemin is introducing himself to chenle and as usual hes awkward

 

hyuck: chenle just fucking slapped his handshake and bear hugged him

 

hyuck: MARK DID THE SAME JAEMIN IS NOW BEING BEAR HUGGED BY BOTH

 

hyuck: I REPORT JAEMIN IS NOW BEING BEAR HUGGED BY ALL OF US AND I DON’T KNOW WHY

 

jaemin: FUYCKIGN HFEKLOP; ME

 

jeno: suffer

 

jaemin: WHY.

 

jeno: that’s what you get for always using my legs as a footstool in class

 

jaemin: JENO HELPMENGSNDNS

 

-

 

private chat between mark and donghyuck!

 

mark: hey i know you’re about to go on and i know you’re really nervous but i’m right here in the audience and i know you’re gonna be great

 

donghyuck: thanks :(((

 

donghyuck: we don’t go on for another few minutes bc the principal is introducing us

 

mark: she’s totally delivering the speech wrong where is the HYPE

 

donghyuck: hgjsdhf shut up

 

mark: i should have tears streaming down my face right now just at the THOUGHT of this prestigious high school’s dance team performing for me

 

mark: So Why Are My Eyes Dry

 

donghyuck: shut UP

 

donghyuck: look idiot we’re going on now

 

mark: good luck i love u!!!!

 

mark: and remember that everythings gonna b fine and we’re gonna have china day at chenle’s house after this so!!! even if you do monumentally fail (which you won’t) at least you have some delicious food to look forward to

 

mark: but really good luck i love u

 

donghyuck: *you, you BTICH

 

donghyuck: but i love you too

 

donghyuck: MWAH

 

donghyuck has logged off!

 

mark: oh no ur gonna blow me a kiss while ur up there arent u

 

mark: HYUCK NO

 

mark has logged off!




Chapter Text

jeno: lads

 

jeno: our performance was fucking sick

 

mark: i agree there was only one part i didnt like

 

renjun: what part >:((

 

mark: when hyuck stopped the first time he was center and blew me a phat kiss

 

renjun: oh it was planned for him to blow someone in the audience a kiss already that was his moment

 

renjun: so it wasn’t random hyuck’s just really really gay

 

hyuck: lads…. bad thing

 

mark: yes?

 

hyuck: can’t hear

 

mark: NO

 

jaemin: hyucks just being a whiney baby he’s fine

 

jaemin: he kicked me in the back (like the bad part that always hurts) so i stole his hearing aids

 

jeno: JAEMINGHJDSNH

 

jaemin: you give a disability you get a disability

 

renjun: THAT’S IT! GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY I’M GOING TO HELP CHENLE COOK

 

lele: jisung is here keep that in mind

 

renjun: nvm im going to nap before we have The Celebration

 

hyuck: OH WAIT ITS CHINA DAY I FORGOT

 

lele: jisung just poured half a bottle of rice wine in his mouth

 

lele: no one eat the chow mein

 

renjun: bold of you to assume that’ll stop me i’ve had the devil’s tongue down my throat

 

hyuck: my tongue is delightful. fuck you

 

renjun: Bye! :***

 

jisung: what are the :***s

 

jaemin: theyre kissy faces

 

jaemin: the asterisks kind of look like puckered lips

 

mark: chenle what time do you want us to come over

 

lele: when i say so, fool

 

mark: What Time Do I Need To Get Ready

 

lele: what do you mean get ready you were already ready at school today

 

mark: ????? i need to put on makeup

 

lele: YOU WEAR MAKEUP?

 

mark: yeah??????

 

mark: have you not noticed

 

mark: i’ve been wearing makeup ever since i graduated

 

renjun: is that an i-wanted-a-new-look thing or an i-realized-i-like-donghyuck-so-now-i-have-to-look-good-for-him thing

 

mark: donghyuck thing

 

hyuck: that’s really gay

 

hyuck: i didnt even notice i just think u look pretty all the time

 

mark: You Will Shut Up Now

 

lele: [SLAP! CRACK!] You Will Speak When Spoken To

 

mark: chenle i cant fuckging breathe YOU WILL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO

 

lele: Come hither, Youngone… the Harvest is coming

 

mark: chenle i love you but stop being so needlessly ominous every time we talk

 

lele: no fuck you

 

lele: come over in about two hours the food’s almost ready

 

mark: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

mark: see now was that so hard

 

lele: no but you should know i’m stubborn and will not do something if you tell me to

 

lele: only jisung can make me do things you’re lucky he loves you enough to make me announce the Official Gathering Time

 

renjun: wow thats uh

 

renjun: gay

 

jaemin: hyuck where r u

 

hyuck: Here bitch!!!

 

jaemin: good i thought you died

 


 

private chat between jaemin and hyuck!

 

jaemin: Hlelp,, me

 

hyuck: yes

 

jaemin: i love him so m uch :(((

 

hyuck: who the FUCK

 

jaemin: JISUNG HES BABY

 

hyuck: ah yea

 

hyuck: he does that to u

 

jaemin: I DONT MEAN ROMANTICALLY LIKE. I WANT TO BE HIS OLDER BROTHER RIGHT NOW

 

jaemin: AFTER THE SHOW HE CAME UP NEXT TO ME GAVE ME A LITTLE HUG AND SAID “IM REALLY GLAD YOU’RE HERE WITH US JAEMIN” AND WALKED OFF REALLY QUICKLY

 

jaemin: I’M IM MY JEELINGS

 

jaemin: (MY JISUNG FEELINGS)

 

hyuck: jisung only does affection during really really sentimental moments alright

 

hyuck: in the span of like a week your ignorant ass has made him like you more than he likes me

 

hyuck: which is. impressive

 

hyuck: you’re fitting in really nicely here and i’m proud of you for talking to everyone

 

jaemin: stop it im in my heelies

 

jaemin: (my hyuck feelies)

 

hyuck: okay! friendship over

 


 

jeno: and That is why you respect the goddamn bees you fools

 

hyuck: bees deserve no respect. they deserve my foot

 

jaemin: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

renjun has kicked hyuck from the chat!

 

renjun: putrid little man. evil

 

lele: renjun please someone knocked on the door and i thought it was you to help me cook but i went to the door and it’s just hyuck with his face pressed up against the glass

 

mark: yeah he does that

 

lele: make him STOP

 

mark: you have to add him back to the group chat i guess

 

lele: nope

 

lele: this is a donghyuck-free zone for the rest of the night

 

jeno: are you talking about this chat or your house

 

lele: both. donghyuck is officially uninvited from china day

 

mark: WHY

 

lele: treacherous comments against the honeybee community

 

mark: this is sweat bee erasure

 

jeno: and carpenter bee erasure

 

lele: Don’t tell me what bees to include, you frugal sons of bitches

 

mark: yyes sir am i still invited to china day sir

 

lele: yeah but you’re on thin fucking ice lee

 

lele: that goes for you too lee

 

jeno: hcenle thats not initimidating

 

lele: (WHACK) you will speak when spoken to

 

renjun: i’ve said it before. and i’ll say it again. chenle. you’re. an. idiot.

 

lele: love u too gege <3

 

renjun has kicked lele from the chat!

 

mark: WHAT WAS THAT FOR

 

renjun: he was getting too chummy with me. somebody had to do it

 

jeno: you know he had to do it to em

 

renjun has kicked jeno from the chat!

 

mark: PLEASE

 

renjun: NO.

 

mark: Then suffer for your insolence. Fool that you are, do you think you can best me in my own realm? where i am the strongest? you fool. you absolute fucking buffoon. you imbecile. you neanderthal. you TROGLODYTE.

 

mark has kicked renjun from the chat!

 

mark: at last. peace

 

jaemin: i’m still here

 

jisung: me too

 

mark: yeah but you two are only wild when chenle or hyuck is with you and neither of them are here

 

mark: welcome to the relaxation chat

 

jisung: that’s boring i’m out

 

jisung has left the chat!

 

mark: well jaemin it looks like it’s just you and me

 

jaemin: yea about that

 

jaemin has left the chat!

 

mark: FUCK YOU

 

mark: I’M GONNA GO TAKE A NAP

 

mark: i’m talking to myself

 

mark: wheres hyuck i drove by chenles house but hes not there and i wanna nap w him :((

 

mark: OH HES :(((( ALREADY IN HIS BED SHUT UP HE LOOKS SO CUTE WHEN HES ASLEEP IM GONNA /CRY/

 

mark: watch me not wake up early to put makeup on and just stay in bed with hyuck for as long as possible

 

mark: my god hes the prettiest

 

mark: i need to stop ranting about him to myself and actually go nap with him

 

mark: future me if u check this chat go kiss hyuck hes your bf you lucky son of a bitch

 

mark: nd hang in there im sure the dysph*ria will get better soon and that you’ll figure out your major or whatever eventually

 

mark: now GOODNIGHT myself

 

mark: good afternoon??? it’s like 4pm

 

mark: good sleep

 

mark has logged off!








Chapter Text

lele: okay i’m happy to have all of you at my house or whatever but where are markhyuck

 

renjun: oh so they’re one whole entity now?

 

lele: yea

 

lele: its just wrong for them not to be

 

hyuck: MARK OVERSLEPT

 

mark: I DID /NOT!/ MR ELECTRIC SEND HIM TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE AND HAVE HIM EXPELLED

 

lele: EXPLAIN.

 

mark: I WOKE UP ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE SO I WOKE HYUCK UP AND WENT TO PUT ON MY MAKEUP BECAUSE I DON’T WANNA LOOK UGLY AND WHAT DOES THIS BASTARD DO?

 

hyuck: NONE OF THE ABOVE

 

mark: FALSE. HE THREW MY EYE BRUSH ACROSS THE ROOM BECAUSE HES NEEDY

 

hyuck: IT’S PRONOUNCED “TOUCH-STARVED”

 

mark: SO I HAD TO U KNOW. KITH HIM BECAUSE HES NEEDY AND HE TOOK MY PHONE SO I WOULDNT SEE THAT WE WERE LATE AND BY THE TIME I GOT IT BACK (TWO MINUTES AGO) WE WERE AN HOUR LATE

 

mark: IM SORRY

 

mark: YOU KNOW I’M ALWAYS ON TIME CHENLE

 

lele: DO I? DO I, TRAITOR?

 

jeno: I, PERSONALLY, VOUCH FOR MARK AS HE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

 

mark: JENO THAT’S GAY

 

jeno: MARK YOU’RE LITERALLY GAY

 

mark: /PLEASE/ DON’T MAKE ME HAVE A SEXUALITY CRISIS JUST LET ME DATE MY BOY IN PEACE

 

jeno: BUT YOU’RE A B

 

renjun: do you hear that?

 

renjun: it’s peace

 

renjun: because all of you are going to be quiet

 

renjun: and jaemin is going to stop hogging the bathroom i need to take a leak

 

renjun: serene emoji serene emoji serene emoji

 

jaemin: sorry my water broke

 

jisung: YOUR WATER BROKEJGKSHFKJSHKJH

 

renjun: fetus deletus then i need to PISS

 

jisung: STOP IT IMS WHEEZING

 

renjun: yes i can tell you’re sitting across from me

 

renjun: this is the most human emotion you’ve ever expressed in front of me

 

jisung: I have screenshots of you saying you love me

 

renjun: because i d*

 

jisung: you d*?

 

jisung: say it coward

 

renjun: because i do

 

renjun: we all do dumbass

 

renjun: you’re like our little brother

 

jaemin: i have known you for like a week but i’d die for you jisung

 

jisung: You will

 

jeno: sungie hes right ur like our little brother

 

hyuck: marks driving but yes he agrees and so do i

 

renjun: chenle respond

 

lele: yeahh you’re like a little bro ther <333

 

renjun: hey thats chenle speak for “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO EMOTE” someone should go hug him

 

jisung: you’re literally available

 

renjun: i cant im waiting on jaemin to let me pee so he can have rights

 

renjun: also i’m worried that if i touch chenle at all he’ll fall in love with me i have that effect on chinese people

 

mark: and jeno

 

jeno: SHUUUUUT THE FUUUUUUUCK UUUUUUUUUP

 

jeno: GO CRASH YOUR CAR OR SOMETHING BABYTEETH

 

hyuck: jeno i love you but kindly refrain from telling my stubborn boyfriend to crash his car while i am inside of it

 

hyuck: i value my life

 

hyuck: nvm i dont mark can floor it

 

jaemin: k who’s cuddling hyuck first when he gets here because that behavior is not tolerated here

 

hyuck: if you touch me i’ll eat your fingers

 

jaemin: of all the threats you’ve ever presented to me that has to be the weakest

 

lele: what’s the worst…

 

jaemin: probably “i’ll remove your spinal discs”

 

renjun: DONGHYUCK HE IS A /CRIPPLE/

 

lele: DON’T CALL HIM A CRIPPLE THAT’S INSENSITIVE

 

jaemin: ITS OK I TOLD HIM HE COULD

 

renjun: HE IS AND YOU KNOW IT I HAD TO HELP HIM OFF THE COUCH AND THEN HE STOOD THERE FOR LIKE TEN SECONDS TRYING TO TWIST HIS BACK SO HE COULD POP IT

 

jaemin: i would probably benefit from a cane

 

hyuck: its ok renjun that’s the least effective insult in my book

 

lele: once again what is the worst

 

hyuck: sometimes to get his attention i’ll shout “hey SPINELESS”

 

renjun: DONGHYUCK

 

hyuck: he’ll look at me when i do it… i think he accepts it as a third name

 

lele: donghyuck he has one name

 

jaemin: no i’m curious what’s my second name

 

hyuck: Bitch

 

jaemin: okay yeah in hindsight i kind of walked right into that one

 

jaemin: anyways mark drive faster challenge

 

hyuck: funny u should say that because he just pulled in

 

lele: ARE YOU TELLING ME I CAN SERVE THIS FOOD NOW?

 

renjun: NO WAIT I NEED TO PEE AND I JUST MANAGED TO PICK THE BATHROOM LOCK

 

lele: TOO BAD YOU SHOULDVE GONE EARLIER

 

renjun: /I DIDN’T HAVE TO GO THEN/

 

hyuck: jaemin what were you doing in there

 

jaemin: dissociating

 

hyuck: hey first of all, MOOD,

 

mark: CHENLE UNLOCK THE FRONT DOOR I WANT DUCK

 

lele: THIS IS YOUR PENANCE. YOU WERE LATE AND NOW YOU GET TABLE SCRAPS

 

mark: HYUCK GO

 

jaemin: i heard a thump upstairs so i can only assume hyuck climbed into some window

 

lele: yeah he does that

 

lele: which is why i’ve barricaded him in the bedroom

 

hyuck: YOU GREATLY UNDERESTIMATE MY STRENGTH

 

hyuck: okay you estimated my strength well jaem please come get me out

 

jaemin: dude i’ll break my back

 

hyuck: for ME

 

jeno: i’m coming ://///////////

 

mark: jeno i have always loved you

 

hyuck: WOW

 

jaemin: hyuck i’ll get you a plate

 

jaemin: in exchange for goods

 

hyuck: i am FREE

 

mark: OKAY NOW LET ME IN

 

mark: IM AT THE FRONT DOOR

 

hyuck: jaemin what do you want from me

 

jaemin: how about a nice warm hug

 

hyuck: how about a mean cold slap :)

 

mark: DONT SLAP HIm

 

hyuck: i didnt i slapped him then hugged him and now im coming to get u

 

lele: fools. jisung has already taken the last of the duck

 

mark: NO

 

jisung: actually i had it on my plate because i was saving it for mark hyung

 

renjun: 1) you never use honorifics why you text what is WRONG with you today 2) don’t call mark “hyung” it implies he deserves respect

 

jeno: oh are we taking away mark’s rights? i’m here for it

 

mark: 1) jisung you’re an angel and i love you my SON 2) i am the most deserving of respect you brats

 

lele: i refuse to accept this. however i want to eat so i’m letting you in

 

lele: let’s eat and then watch mulan and go to sleep

 

jisung: WHAT NO YOU SAID WE WERE GONNA WATCH SONG OF THE ASSASSINS BECAUSE YOU BOUGHT IT WHILE YOU WERE GONE

 

renjun: he…. can speak in all-caps?

 

jeno: this is the most upset ive ever seen him hes devastated chenle

 

lele: JAEMIN ISN’T AS INVESTED IN CHINESE DRAMAS AS WE ARE JISUNG WE HAVE TO WAIT A BIT

 

jisung: BUT. THE ASSASSINS

 

lele: I’LL WATCH IT WITH YOU OKAY

 

jisung: . FINE

 

lele: as i was SAYING

 

lele: we eat

 

lele: we watch mulan

 

lele: we sleep

 

renjun: li shang is bisexual!

 

jeno: on what grounds

 

renjun: he’s my boyfriend

 

jeno: extremely valid and lawful carry on

 

mark: fa mulan is trans (serene emoji serene emoji serene emoji)

 

hyuck: what a power couple

 

lele: let the record show that he just verbally compared himself and mark to shang and mulan. disgusting

 

lele: if i weren’t so hungry i would refuse to eat

 

mark: MY DUCK. WHERE ISIT

 

jisung: its in the dining room you big baby come eat with us

 

mark: ur the bestest <33

 

-

 

private chat between jisung and mark!

 

jisung: are you awake

 

mark: duh it’s mulan 

 

mark:  why don't you just talk to me out loud like a normal person

 

jisung: because chenle’s asleep on my shoulder and i dont wanna wake him up

 

mark: fair

 

mark: so then  why’re you up texting me instead of sleep-cuddling with him

 

jisung: i cant stop thinking so i cant sleep ://

 

jisung: taeyong taught me this breathing trick to help me sleep but i forgot it and he’s probably studying so i don’t want to bother him

 

mark: you’re his brother

 

mark: it’s in your job description to annoy him

 

jisung: whatever i just don’t wanna bother him

 

jisung: but. you know that thing we talked about in your dorm

 

mark: you know no one’s reading your texts right you can say it

 

jisung: you know that dumb emotional stuff we talked about in your dorm

 

mark: almost there i believe in you

 

jisung: do i have to

 

mark: yea

 

jisung: you know those feelings we talked about in your dorm

 

mark: feelings for who! you can do it!

 

jisung: you know those feelings i had for chenle that we talked about in your dorm

 

mark: :D

 

mark: yes

 

mark: what about them

 

jisung: i dont KNOW

 

mark: emotional constipation is a bitch

 

jisung: it’s just. my heart. hurts it’s weird

 

mark: i think that may be a better sign of hypertension than romance

 

jisung: NO LIKE

 

jisung: today in the car. remember how he was all over me because he knew i missed him but couldn’t verbally or physically express it

 

jisung: yeah i ate that shit up my heart hurt so so bad he was so sweet and he’s so gentle and understanding and he doesn’t need to be because i’m just me and he’s chenle but. he IS and it means the world

 

jisung: okay that was too much emotion

 

mark: no no this is good! go on

 

jisung: do i gotta

 

mark: ye

 

jisung: hngh

 

jisung: i should stop talking about him before this gets out of hand

 

jisung: there’s no way he’d want to d*te me

 

mark: i beg to differ

 

jisung: mark i have next to no emotional intelligence i can’t speak or be touched half the time and the only way i’m able to understand my emotions with clarity is through dance

 

jisung: so yeah i’m definitely a real catch

 

mark: “i can’t speak or be touched half the time” that doesn’t apply to chenle apparently

 

mark: every time i’ve ever seen you nonverbal chenle has snapped you out of it

 

mark: and every single time i’ve ever seen you touch-avoidant all chenle has had to do was hold your hand and you were fine

 

mark: it takes a while but chenle somehow fixes all the things that you don’t like

 

mark: remember when you didn’t like that you were the only freshman in your gym class and how you felt self-conscious and alone? and remember how as soon as chenle found out he switched his schedule and took himself out of one of the classes he needs to graduate to retake gym so that you wouldn’t be alone?

 

mark: chenle would do anything for you jisung and even if he doesn’t like you back he still won’t care if you like him so long as you’re honest

 

mark: he loves you so much and take that whatever way you will

 

mark: but he cares about you a lot and all he wants is for you to be happy

 

jisung: i’ve gotta go he shifted and woke up and i don’t want him to read this

 

jisung: night

 

mark: ://

 

mark: night sungie sleep well

 

-

 

private chat between lele and renjun!

 

lele: ge

 

renjun: what do you want

 

lele: mean

 

lele: remember how you told me reading people’s texts over their shoulder would end badly one day

 

renjun: vaguely

 

lele: well honey

 

lele: uve got a big storm comin







Chapter Text

renjun: good morning everyone who wants to get jaemin off of me

 

renjun: mark respond i know you’re awake i can see you checking this text

 

renjun: MARK

 

renjun: GET HIM OFF ME HES /SNORING/

 

mark: oh shut up i know you’re touch-starved

 

renjun: alright, first of all, literally DIE,

 

renjun: SECONDLY,

 

mark: give me back my glasses you KNOW i cant see shit

 

mark: second of all you KNOW i cant move without waking hyuckie up

 

renjun: no i dont

 

renjun: just slap him

 

mark: sir if i could move him without waking him he would Not be lying where he is right now

 

renjun: what’s wrong with where he’s lying

 

mark: titty

 

renjun: /OH/

 

mark: plus i need to change out of this damn binder if i don’t want to break all of my ribs simultaneously

 

jeno: good morning

 

jeno: ‘m pretty sure that wouldn’t happen

 

mark: morning asshole

 

mark: hey can u do me a lorge favor

 

jeno: can i get a coffee first

 

jeno: if i’m gonna be lifting hyuck off you then i need to be wide awake so he doesn’t slap me into the seventh dimension

 

mark: Go. But Be Quick

 

renjun: what if i just scream really loud and wake him up

 

mark: please do not do that

 

renjun: what if we turn his phone’s ringer on so that he gets notifications with sounds and wakes up naturally

 

mark: because then chenle will wake up and bully me

 

renjun: why would chenle bully you

 

mark: He’s chenle

 

renjun: ….fair point

 

jeno: mark you’re making me guilty i’ll skip coffee

 

jeno: for u xo

 

mark: the Love of my life……………..

 

renjun: just to be clear. we’re not talking until chenle and jisung wake up because chenles a damn banshee when he first wakes up

 

renjun: so just text here

 

jeno: jisung if you read this in the future know that i’ve always thought of you as a little brother. chenle go die. lads i’m going in

 

jeno: if i don’t text back……. hyuck got me

 

renjun: HE DIDNT WAKE UP!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT

 

mark: LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

 

mark: IM GONNA GO CHANGE ILL B BACK

 

renjun: AIGHT

 

renjun: WAIT MARK WHAT DO WE DO WITH HYUCK

 

mark: LET HIM LIE ON YOU OR SOMETHING HE WONT WAKE UP IF HE HAS SOMEONE TO CLING ONTO

 

mark: BE BACK IN A FEW MINUTES

 

renjun: MARK NO

 

renjun: THERE ARE TWO BOYS ON ME /I CANNOT DO THIS/

 

renjun: MARK

 

mark: . hey renjun

 

renjun: WHAT DO YOU WANT TRAITOR

 

mark: can you wake up hyuck for me

 

renjun: for why

 

mark: i thought i had my spare clothes in my overnight bag but theyre not and idk what to do

 

renjun: yeah one sec

 

hyuck: morning bitches

 

mark: morning angel

 

hyuck: oh!! your stuff is in my bag remember? i think i left it in the bathroom for you

 

hyuck: there should be a sports bra and an oversized hoodie in there somewhere

 

mark: it’s not in the bathroom ://

 

hyuck: it’s probably in the other one then, hang tight and i’ll go get it for you

 

renjun: this is so domestic... need me a freak like that

 

hyuck: reminder that you had this freak

 

renjun: yeah for like a DAY

 

hyuck: aight mark i left the clothes outside the door get changed and then come back and we can cuddle

 

renjun: i’m gonna vomit you two are gross

 

renjun: if i EVER have a partner they are required to stay forty feet away from me at any given time

 

mark: renjun there is a boy sleeping on you

 

hyuck: get off ur phone and CHANGE im cold :((

 

mark: i cant i came back online to say im stuck

 

jeno: in what

 

mark: take a guess

 

jeno: OH

 

jeno: do u need help

 

mark: Mayb

 

hyuck: i cant im currently trying to heave jaemin off renjun

 

hyuck: make jeno do it

 

jeno: alright

 

renjun: you know what

 

hyuck: RENJUN JUST SHOVED JAEMIN INTO THE FLOOR AND HE STILL DIDNT WAKE UP

 

jeno: WOW VARIETY KING

 

mark: thats great but HYUCK CAN YOU COME HELP ME

 

hyuck: YEAH IM COMING

 

renjun: jeno how does it feel to be rejected by mark

 

jeno: crunchy

 

jaemin: good morning. thanks for being ominous jeno

 

renjun: jeno is a product of nature and cannot be controlled by man. he speaks freely without consequence because all men fear him

 

jaemin: yeah yeah that’s great and all but have you seen when he smiles and his eyes squish up!!! that’s so cute!!!!!

 

jeno: bye! you’re both cancelled

 

jisung: morning

 

jisung: you assholes woke me up when you pushed jaemin off the couch and now i cant get back to sleep

 

jaemin: sorry when they what

 

renjun: oh yeah that happened sorry

 

renjun: dont swear jisung

 

jisung: No

 

renjun: yes sir as you wish sir

 

jaemin: hey yall wanna build a blanket fort

 

jeno: ARE YOU KIDDING

 

jeno: IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION!!!

 

renjun: ILL GO MAKE BREAKFAST AND THEN WE CAN BUILD A BLANKET FORT THIS IS SO EXCITING

 

jisung: how am i the youngest

 

renjun: ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU AREN’T EXCITED TO BUILD A BLANKET FORT. JISUNG. A BLANKET FORT

 

jisung: i can’t exactly be excited when chenle is snoring in my ear

 

renjun: okay valid

 

renjun: hey you know what you should do

 

jisung: what,,

 

renjun: wake him up with a kiss

 

jisung: IM SORRY WHAT

 

renjun: you heard me

 

jisung: WAKE HIM UP WITH A WHAT

 

hyuck: renjun don’t go make breakfast let me nap on you

 

renjun: why don’t you nap on mark

 

hyuck: mark said if i nap on him then he won’t want to wake me up

 

hyuck: which is sad because i like napping on him >://

 

jisung: why do you like napping on people so much

 

jeno: specifically mark

 

hyuck: firstly, it’s comfortable

 

hyuck: secondly, i’m COLD,

 

hyuck: and finally

 

hyuck: world hard and cold

 

hyuck: mark’s titty soft and warm

 

mark: mark’s titty is NOT your pillow you cis bitch

 

hyuck: says WHO

 

mark: ITS OWNER????

 

jeno: hold on are we going to skip over the implication that mark only has one titty

 

hyuck: mark’s gonna have no titty after i beat his ass

 

mark: are you offering free top surgery

 

renjun: MARK! THAT IS /NOT/ HOW WE GET TOP SURGERY!

 

mark: SAYS YOU

 

jeno: hyuck is jaemin ticklish

 

jaemin: NO!

 

hyuck: VERY

 

jeno: i’m gonna tickle him and see if chenle wakes up

 

jaemin: maybe consider not doing that

 

jisung: please do not

 

jisung: if chenle wakes up he’s gonna demand breakfast and you know it

 

jeno: exactly. i get food out of this. there are no downsides

 

renjun: see what i mean? unstoppable force of nature. cursed.

 

mark: no one tickle anyone and let’s just nap until renjun finishes making breakfast

 

renjun: you all just woke up how are you ready to go back to sleep

 

jeno: if you have to ask that question then do you truly know me at all

 

renjun: ….fair point

 

jaemin: mark renjun hasn’t even gotten up to make breakfast yet

 

jisung: a travesty because i’m starving

 

renjun: why don’t we go out for breakfast today

 

jeno: dude where would we go

 

jisung: there’s an american diner five minutes from here

 

renjun: dude you know that place has an entrance to hell in the back room right

 

jisung: yeah that’s kind of the point

 

mark: i vote the diner

 

hyuck: DINER!!!

 

jaemin: i dont eat breakfast so do whatever

 

jeno: diner or i’m leaving


renjun: FINE

 

renjun: FINE

 

renjun: someone wake chenle up i’ll go get my damn car started

 

mark: who said you were driving

 

renjun: everyone who doesn’t want to get in a wreck

 

mark: LOW BLOW THAT FENDER BENDER WAS /NOT/ MY FAULT

 

renjun: too bad! be ready in five

 

jaemin: i was promised a blanket fort you bastards

 

hyuck: we'll make a blanket fort when we get back

 

jaemin: how long are we going to be here i am becoming increasingly worried

 

hyuck: oh guys look 

 

hyuck: he thinks he's gonna get to leave china day. how cute :))

 

jaemin: DONGHYUCK?

 

hyuck: :))))))))))))))))

 

jaemin: DONGHYUCKSHGKJSDHF

Chapter Text

lele: i, personally, think that renjun’s silent driving rule is stupid

 

jisung: he’s right your honor

 

mark: jeno convince renjun he’s not gonna crash if someone says something or if he turns on the radio

 

jeno: i would but that would require me talking out loud and then he’d yell at me for reckless endangerment

 

lele: once he had to drive me home from school and i was texting jisung and i laughed a little and he stopped the car and lectured me for five minutes about how i could’ve died

 

hyuck: for someone who boasts about wanting to die renjun sure does care a lot about not wrecking

 

mark: dumbass have you seen him drive alone? he only drives well when there are other people in the car

 

lele: oh my god

 

jisung: OH MY GOD

 

hyuck: MARK WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT IM SO SAD NOW

 

jaemin: why are you guys sad

 

jeno: WE CLOWN HIM FOR DRIVING CAREFULLY BUT HES ONLY DRIVING CAREFULLY BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO CRASH WITH US IN THE CAR

 

lele: /THAT’S MY MF OLDER BROTHER/

 

lele: should i do it

 

hyuck: do what

 

jisung: dont he’ll yell

 

lele: :)

 

hyuck: taking my hearing aids out until further notice so i don’t have to hear renjun yelling at chenle. please update me

 

jeno: chenle - “ge we love you” renjun - “What the fuck did you just say about me you little bitch”

 

mark: im in literal fucking tears please

 

lele: hes so MEAN to me im gonna cry

 

jisung: HHH

 


 

private chat between jisung and mark!

 

jisung: this is risky

 

mark: hes right next to you what do you want

 

jisung: WHY ARE YOU ASSUMING THIS IS ABOUT HIM

 

jisung: CAN I NOT HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU

 

mark: no

 

mark: you hate me

 

jisung: I LOVE U >:((

 

mark: go ahead and rant ab chenle Fool

 

jisung: something’s up with him but idk what

 

jisung: when i woke up this morning i noticed that he had tear tracks on his face

 

jisung: i wiped them away so you guys wouldn’t see but. i’ve never seen him cry before

 

jisung: and i don’t like the fact that he cried next to me and i didn’t know

 

jisung: i shouldn’t have been asleep for that

 

jisung: idk i should’ve been there for him

 

mark: oh he’s whipped your honor

 

jisung: his voice is changing too

 

mark: ??

 

jisung: i told you about the association thing i do right

 

mark: yeah

 

jisung: last night his voice was blue

 

jisung: and felt like water

 

jisung: today it’s sadder and emptier and it’s gray and feels like tree bark

 

mark: you should pull him aside and talk to him after breakfast

 

mark: see what’s bothering him

 

jisung: i’m sure if he was ready to tell me he would’ve told me by now

 

jisung: but i really can’t take not knowing so i might

 

mark: look we’re almost to the diner

 

mark: just. act normal with him, see how he reacts

 

mark: at some point ask him if you two can talk alone, and if he says yes, ask him what’s bothering him & comfort him

 

mark: i promise he absolutely will not be put off by you wanting to talk to him

 

mark: and i think he’ll be really really happy to see that you care

 

mark: because i know he knows you love him a lot (not even in that way) but even if he does know that he’s a very touchy-feely person and he needs a lot of physical affection and constant validation

 

mark: so u should like. give that to him

 

jisung: he’s so cute mark im gonna cry

 

jisung: feelings. why do i do that

 

mark: are you asking me why you have feelings

 

jisung: Why Do Feel. Brain Does Not Want Feel Today

 

mark: JISUNG

 

jisung: HNNNNNNNNNNNGH

 


 

jeno half-regrets letting renjun drive, because he knows for a fact that renjun can’t parallel park to save his life.

 

“i’m literally going to beat all of your asses if you don’t move your heads so i can see,” renjun drawls, his left leg bouncing up and down nervously. jeno watches chenle open his mouth to say something in the rear-view mirror, but renjun spots a car parking where he was going to and shouts in disdain, effectively shutting chenle up.

 

“right there,” jeno says quietly, pointing to an open spot on the curb.

 

“god,” renjun cries, throwing his arms up into the air. “maybe you do have rights, after all.

 

“who said he didn’t?” questions donghyuck from the backseat, where he’s sat snugly in-between jaemin and mark.

 

“shut up.”

 

jeno sits on the edge of his seat nervously. the car inches forward past the parking spot, and renjun unbuckles his seatbelt to see better, puts the car in reverse, and backs into the parking spot.

 

he turns the ignition and sits with his back straight. it’s no use; the seat still makes him look even smaller than he already is. “that’s the first time in my life i’ve ever parallel parked straight,” renjun says, clearly a changed man.

 

chenle screams praise to be fair, they all do, but chenle screams the loudest by far. they exit the car and flood out into the streets, jaemin leaning against the car and twisting his back. donghyuck helps him walk. chenle is still screaming when renjun maneuvers around the car and onto the sidewalk, and he doesn’t stop when jeno, bright and filled with energy, picks him up by his waist and spins him around.

 

“i told you that you could drive!” he shouts. “what did i say? i said, ‘renjun, i swear you’re fine to drive us. i promise nothing will happen,’ and look! you parallel parked! you’re growing up so fast, i’m so proud of you—”

 

“i’m older than you,” renjun says shortly, lightly hitting jeno’s back as a signal to drop him. jeno figures if he doesn’t now, renjun won't drive him home, so he lowers the other onto the ground as gently as he can.

 

jaemin makes his way towards renjun and plants a loud kiss on his cheek. “proud of you, injunnie,” he grins. he tries to walk back to donghyuck, but trips, so jeno catches him.

 

“what kind of romcom bullshit—” donghyuck begins, but mark quickly slaps a hand over his mouth before he can get any farther.

 

“right,” jeno says quickly, helping jaemin upright and securing an arm around him. “c’mon.”

 

“min, is your back acting up?” chenle asks.

 

jaemin frowns. “a little, but—”

 

donghyuck starts ranting about the importance of telling him things like this and how chenle had a cane in his closet that he could’ve used, but jaemin cuts him off. “but i don’t want to be coddled, and my next checkup for my back is soon, so i should try to gauge how much pain i’m in right now.”

 

“mother of god,” mark says, eyes rolling up to the sky. he doesn’t seem to find anything up there, because he sighs and waddles over to jaemin (yes, waddles, because his hoodie is very big on him, and jeno thinks he kind of looks like a little penguin in it), takes him from jeno, and hoists him into the air bridal style.

 

“alright, i’m not even going to start with the fact that you’ve never done that for me, but what could jaemin possibly gain from that?!” donghyuck whines.

 

“jealous,” renjun sings. donghyuck juts out his bottom lip and pouts.

 

mark doesn’t listen. they’ve been standing in the parking lot for the better part of three minutes, and he’s getting impatient. he walks into the diner with jaemin in his arms, leaving the rest of the group in the dust.

 

“table for two, ma’am?” they hear faintly from inside. donghyuck grimaces.

 

“it’s sir, actually,” mark says back, his voice a little bitter. “and table for seven.”

 

jeno eventually decides it’s time to stop waiting around outside. he takes renjun’s hand without thinking and walks him inside, and only when they’re approaching their table does renjun pull his hand away. jeno winces, and when he sits down across from mark, he gets a strange glance.

 

the table is so crowded that he ends up squeezed between jaemin and chenle. jisung is to chenle’s side, and across from them, mark, donghyuck, and renjun sit together.

 

“lele, you don’t have to take half an hour to order. this is an american diner. you can’t possibly be expecting that much.”

 

“alright, to be fair, i am expecting a shit-ton of hash browns,” mark says, and the entire table turns to him strangely.

 

“what the fuck are hash browns,” renjun says, eyebrows furrowed.

 

mark blanks. “they’re like…” he trails off. “potatoes?”

 

“are you asking us, or telling us?” jaemin asks.

 

“man, at this point, i honestly have no idea.”

 

“i want hash browns,” chenle decides. jisung looks at him strangely.

 

“that’s all you want?”

 

“i want to gauge how much i trust mark,” chenle shrugs. renjun rolls his eyes.

 

eventually, they order, and when their food is brought out, chenle takes a bite of his food, hums in approval, and cuts a hash brown into little pieces so he can divvy it out to the table. the rest of the table, much to mark and chenle’s disdain, decides that hash browns taste awful.

 

about halfway through breakfast, jisung’s phone rings, and he answers it hesitantly. he listens to the other side of the line for a few seconds, then brings his phone away from his ear.

 

“mark, taeyong says he’s parked outside for you.”

 

mark frowns and stands, pushing his chair in as he goes. he drops a hasty kiss on the top of donghyuck’s head and begins to walk away, but donghyuck grabs his wrist with a pout.

 

“where’re you going?”

 

“taeyong’s taking me to the clinic. i’ve got a hormone shot scheduled today, and the gender specialist wants to evaluate me and see if she thinks i’m ready for top surgery.”

 

“i could’ve driven you,” renjun says, but mark shakes his head.

 

“it’s fine. i’ll see you guys soon. thanks for inviting me over, lele, i had a lot of fun,” he says, and then he’s walking out the door. jeno feels a gust of cold air on his back.

 

jisung brings his phone back up to his ear. “he’s on his way out,” he says, then listens to taeyong again. “why haven’t i—can we not talk about this? i’ll call you later, and then we can talk, alright?” another pause. “no, i promise i’ll call you this time. really. yes, i swear i will. okay. okay! love you. bye.”

 

jeno tries his best not to stare at chenle’s hand as it snakes under the table to hold jisung’s hand. even though he notices, he doesn’t say anything, instead laughing at donghyuck’s attempts at a conversation as he spoons mark’s leftovers into a to-go box for the older. renjun elbows donghyuck’s plate, and the end result is a hoodie sleeve soaked and stained with maple syrup. jaemin cackles at renjun as the older tries to clean it up and eventually just decides to suck on the sleeve of his hoodie until it’s somewhat preservable.

 

“people are staring. i hate you,” donghyuck groans. renjun flashes him half of a heart, and donghyuck sighs and begrudgingly completes the other half.

 

in his peripheral vision, jeno watches jisung check his phone, stuff it into his pocket, and pull chenle out of his seat. “we’ll be back,” jisung says shortly, but everyone but jeno is too busy laughing at renjun (because the idiot has gotten his sleeve in maple syrup again) to notice.

 

jisung drags chenle out of the restaurant, and the only sign that they’re finally gone is when the bell chimes at the door and another gust of cold air hits jeno’s back. he shivers and runs his hands up and down his arms as he curses himself for forgetting to bring a jacket.

 

“are you cold?” jaemin asks suddenly, his bottom lip jutting out. jeno doesn’t get a chance to answer before he’s shrugging off his jacket and wrapping it around jeno’s frame. he pulls jeno closer to him. “there.”

 

jeno finds that it’s hard to think about jisung and chenle when jaemin’s so close to the rapidfire drumming of his heart.

 


 

jisung thinks with certainty that today is blue.

 

he pulls chenle along and ignores the cold air burning his face. he can feel the older’s eyes on him, and for a second, he meets them. his lungs burn, and then there is only blue. blue is the sky, the tide of his breathing, blue, blue blue. it washes over him like a great wave, and he thinks absently that things will be okay.

 

“why are we out here?” chenle asks, hugging his jacket closer to himself. “it’s cold.”

 

jisung doesn’t answer him. instead, he wets his lips and asks, “are you okay?”

“am i…?” chenle echoes, voice softer now. “no, sungie, but i’m getting there. i’ll be fine in a little while.”

 

the tide of blue laps at him one last time before sinking back into the ocean it had come from. now, there is fear, there is doubt, and jisung curls in on himself a little as he tries to think of a response.

 

“i don’t know how to help with that,” jisung says, his brows furrowed and his lips pursed. “can you tell me what’s wrong? i want to help.”

 

“if you tell me why we’re really out here, i’ll tell you what’s wrong.”

 

weakly, jisung says, “that’s not fair,” but the words come out softer than he intended, and the wind carries them away before chenle can understand them.

 

he stares at his shoes. in the pit of his stomach, anxiety furls and unfurls, back and forth. he feels helpless.

 

now, there is orange. orange that pulls him under, suffocates him. his head barely rises above the waves as they sway, ruthless and uncaring— one, two, three, and he’s gone— but they freeze over when chenle tangles their hands and rubs a thumb comfortingly over the guard of his palm.

 

his mind is swimming. but chenle is there, next to him, and all he sees is orange. orange are the heels of his shoes as he stares at them, orange are the flashes that dance before his eyes, orange is the dust of chenle’s cheeks, so faint that the sunlight turns pink to rose to orange. it's beautiful.

 

“i like you,” he rushes out in one short breath. the orange floods him, presses between the blades of his shoulders, snakes around his heart and constricts. his chest burns, but he composes himself in a barely-there whisper that he hopes to god chenle hears. “you don’t have to say anything. you don’t have to like me back. i just needed you to know.”

 

by now, chenle has stopped walking. jisung walks on, but chenle grabs his wrist and pulls him back. he stumbles over his own feet and thinks for a second that he might fall, but chenle steadies him, and suddenly, all he can think about is the way chenle’s hands grip his shoulders tightly, and then the way they slide down his arms and finally rest at the older’s sides idly.

 

he thinks briefly how nice it must be to have those same arms around his neck.

 

“sungie,” chenle says. his voice is delicate, like he thinks jisung is fragile. maybe he is. “look at me.”

 

jisung stares at the street behind chenle. there’s a car parked on the curb, a car that’s too familiar, but he can’t recall how he knows it. he can’t think too hard about it, either, because chenle reaches up to grab his chin and tilt it towards him. “look at me,” he repeats, and this time, jisung does.

 

“you don’t have to be nervous,” chenle says, a smile curling at the corner of his lip. “it’s just me.”

 

“i’m not…” jisung tries to say, but the words catch in his throat and die there. he huffs a sigh.

 

for a second, he glances at chenle’s hands that hang limply at his side and thinks of how perfectly chenle’s hand fits in his. what he wouldn’t give to hold them now.

 

“can i hold your hand?” chenle asks suddenly, and jisung tilts his head back and squeezes his eyes shut because chenle knows what he needs without him even telling him. his heart beats a little faster.

 

he realizes chenle’s still waiting for an answer and nods. when chenle finally takes his hand, he thinks that here is nothing that is more perfect than this, than how he feels right now. he’s terrified— petrified, even—but there’s a warmth in his chest that spreads through him and laps at his frayed and nervous edges more gently than the waves of orange ever had. this is blue, jisung realizes. it’s more palpable now than he’s ever known it to be.

 

chenle brings his free hand up to jisung’s chest and presses against his heartbeat. he hopes with every fibre in him that chenle can’t feel just how fast it’s beating.

 

“look,” chenle says, untangling their fingers and guiding jisung’s hand up to his throat, where he extends two fingers and presses them there. “there’s your pulse. you know that means you’re alive and breathing. you’re okay. nothing bad is happening. so there’s no need to be nervous, sungie.”

 

and then chenle is snaking his arms around jisung’s neck, locking his fingers together. the pads of his thumbs brush the base of jisung’s neck, and he shivers at the way the touch burns.

 

how nice it is to feel chenle’s arms around him.

 

“jisung, listen. this is groundbreaking,” chenle grins at him, and jisung has to laugh because everything is groundbreaking with chenle. “i like you, too. a lot.”

 

jisung finds it in himself to breathe out, “what the fuck,” and then his voice stops working and his lungs burn black.

 

chenle laughs at him. he laughs. it’s bright and bubbly and jisung fights down the urge to kiss him. but really, he thinks, how lovely would it be to be able to kiss him?

 

he closes his eyes, and there is blue when he opens them, blue in the puffs of air that chenle is letting out, blue in the frayed collar of chenle’s shirt, blue in the reflection of the sky in chenle’s eyes, blue in the veins that run through his arms and keep him breathing (barely, he thinks).

 

“sungie, is it okay if i kiss you?”

 

orange, orange, orange are the clouds that run through the sky, orange is the sun that burns behind his eyelids when he closes his eyes, orange is the bow of chenle’s lips. orange is the haze in the air that weaves thicker than smoke and proves twice as hard to choke down. orange, orange, orange.

 

jisung nods his head as much as he can manage.

 

chenle leans in, and jisung closes his eyes. this is not real, he thinks faintly. this is a dream.

 

something brushes his cheek. it’s gone before he can register that the something is chenle’s lips, but once he does, the orange subsides, and blue washes through him. blue is the breath of air that leaves his lungs, blue is the near-cloudless sky, blue is chenle and all his nature.

 

“that wasn’t a real kiss,” jisung says. his voice is hoarse, but somehow, chenle understands what he’s saying and grins.

 

“alright,” he whispers, voice louder than it needs to be. jisung doesn’t mind.

 

chenle’s hand curls around his jaw and pulls him closer, and then they’re kissing slowly. for a moment, orange dances across his eyelids like a flame, but blue swallows it up, and he smiles into the kiss, pulling chenle closer.

 

he thinks for a moment that kissing is different than he had expected it to be. maybe he’s doing something wrong. isn’t he supposed to move his lips more?

 

he tilts his head, and chenle pulls away laughing. “not yet. let me,” he says, drawing jisung’s jaw closer for another kiss.

 

a car roars in the distance. suddenly, a horn blares next to him, and jisung flinches away from chenle’s touch.

 

now he understands where he recognizes the car from; it’s taeyong’s car, and mark is hanging out the passenger seat and pointing this thumb at the backseat. “get in! it’s cold.”

 

“how long were you sitting there?” chenle whines. “you were stalking us, weren’t you?”

 

mark just grins. “i can afford to be late to my appointment.”

 

taeyong swats his arm and scowls. “no, you can’t.” he looks at jisung, and his expression softens. “sungie, get in the car. i’ll drop you two off at chenle’s house.”

 

“it’s fine, renjun can take us—” jisung begins, but chenle leans up to him and hisses something in his ear.

 

“renjun’s car doesn’t have heating. taeyong’s does.”

 

jisung nods quickly. in a few seconds, they’re seated comfortably in the back seat of taeyong’s car, chenle’s hand on his knee and the vents blowing warm air onto his face. “so,” mark says, turning around in his seat with a shit-eating grin that jisung knows means trouble. “did you two kiss and make up?”

jisung’s face burns. “something like that.”

 


 

hours later, jisung’s lying awake in chenle’s bed, a pillow between the two because jisung isn’t sure how to ask chenle to cuddle him. he blinks and opens his mouth to say something, then shuts it.

 

“what?” chenle asks.

 

“you never told me why you were upset,” he says.

 

chenle laughs. he pulls the pillow from between them and throws it absentmindedly across the room. jisung doesn’t even check to see where it lands—he doesn’t have time to, because chenle is pulling him close and wrapping his arms around him. he wonders if chenle can feel him grinning into his shoulder.

 

“i’m not upset anymore,” chenle whispers, and jisung gets it.

 

he falls asleep with chenle’s arms around him, and when he wakes, he’s delighted to find that they’re still there, and that they’ll still be there whenever he needs them.

 

Chapter Text

renjun: bitches and gentlemen of the jury

 

renjun: ohnno. oh NO I AM CALLING ALL OF YOU BITCHES I AM NOT DISRESPECTING WOMEN I LOVE WOMEN

 

jeno: You fool. you absolute fucking buffoon. renjun you imbecile

 

jeno: what do you want

 

renjun: i want to do something impulsive. brain says so

 

jaemin: I’m Coming Over!

 

jeno: me 2 i have a bad idea

 

renjun: i have a worse idea

 

donghyuck: i am so afraid thank u

 

donghyuck: i will not be partaking in this impulsivity because i am one of two people in the chat who has a love life and i am using it to my advantage

 

mark: donghyuck is making me buy a waterslide for him. it’s october.

 

donghyuck: you weren’t supposed to TELL THEM

 

mark: i resent that statement

 

donghyuck: which

 

mark: one of two people

 

mark: *four

 

donghyuck: oh did renjun and jaemin finally make out

 

jaemin: IM SORRY DID RENJUN AND JAEMIN /WHAT/

 

donghyuck: you heard me bitchboy

 

lele: hi everyone i have mono

 

mark: NO :(((

 

jisung: i also have mono >:/

 

donghyuck: Wait

 

renjun: Wait

 

jeno: Wait

 

jaemin: oh how DELICIOUS

 

mark: :D

 

donghyuck: MARK YOU KNEW?!?!

 

jisung: knew what

 

jaemin: THAT YOU AND CHENLE ARE DATING!!!

 

-

 

private chat between jisung and lele!

 

jisung: HOW THE HELL DO THEY KNOW

 

jisung: CHENLE

 

jisung: CHWNLE HOW DO THEY KNOW IM FREAKING OUT

 

lele: baby it’s kind of suspicious for us both to have mono at the same time

 

lele: there’s a reason it’s called the kissing disease

 

lele: do you not want them to know?

 

jisung: i needed to psych myself up for it i really wasn’t ready

 

jisung: im sick enough to where i can’t move very well so my paranoia is going through the roof

 

jisung: if anyone tries to touch me i Will convulse on the floor like i’m being exorcised

 

lele: valid

 

lele: you’re so cute oh my god

 

jisung: Chenle Dont Do That

 

lele: mwah

 

lele: here i’ll fix it

 

-

 

lele: why would we be dating

 

lele: sungie got mono bc he drank out of my glass on accident whenever he spent the night at my house

 

jaemin: okay

 

donghyuck: okay

 

jeno: okay

 

renjun: Okay…..

 

mark: D:

 

renjun: dude this hair dye is so thick i can make my hair into crazy shapes

 

renjun: also while i’m waiting for it to set i’m literally in a towel because this hair bleach is so fucking strong i think if it touches my skin the hair there will melt

 

jaemin: oh COOL send me a picture of your hair up in a giant spike

 

donghyuck: h. hair dye

 

donghyuck: Hair dye? fucking. hair dye?

 

renjun: [image attached]

 

renjun: going blond babes

 

renjun: or. honey brown? gold-ish?

 

jaemin: NICEEE

 

jaemin: my hair is still drying from the fucking bleach ugh it looks awful

 

jaemin: you have my dye with you right

 

jeno: i have it

 

jeno: i’ve already dyed mine but it’s still drying

 

jeno: and i have clothes on

 

jeno: so renjun’s a wimp

 

renjun: MEAN

 

donghyuck: you’re all really dying your hair without me

 

renjun: yes :)

 

donghyuck: love you the mostest

 

renjun: kissass

 

donghyuck: i am coming over you’d better have dye left

 

renjun: we have bleach left get your own dye

 

donghyuck: hey mark :(((

 

mark: NO

 

donghyuck: :(((((((

 

mark: NO!!!!

 

mark: DUDE IVE ALREADY LEFT THE STORE!!!

 

donghyuck: firstly don’t call me dude. we are dating

 

jeno: disgusting

 

mark: shut up

 

donghyuck: secondly please :((

 

mark: what color do you want

 

donghyuck: YES :DD surprise me

 

donghyuck: come over to jun’s when ur done

 

donghyuck: we can b romantic and dye each other’s hair

 

jisung: that is literally the most disgusting thing i’ve ever read

 

jisung: thank you

 

renjun: i finished drying my hair and bastard doesn’t recognize me im so sad

 

donghyuck: who

 

renjun: bastard?

 

donghyuck: which one jeno or jaemin

 

jaemin: HEY THAT’S MEAN

 

renjun: my cat. is named bastard. did you not know this.

 

donghyuck: i’m sorry your cat is named WHAT

 

renjun: well. his proper name is fruitcake because he was born in a clinic and they gave him a temporary name (that was meant to be a stupid name to keep them from getting emotionally attached) but we never got around to renaming him whenever we adopted him

 

renjun: so. his name is fruitcake

 

renjun: but i call him bastard or bitchboy

 

jisung: WHY

 

jisung: and why didn’t i know u have a cat… i’ve been over to your house before

 

donghyuck: it’s okay i forgot his cat’s name and have been calling him by just saying “hey you”

 

renjun: jisung to answer your question bastard likes to hide in the fruit bowl so. that’s probably why you haven’t seen him

 

renjun: anyways back to my predicament

 

renjun: he doesn’t recognize me anymore

 

jaemin: i think he still recognizes you jun

 

jaemin: he seems somewhat pissed that he’s not getting any attention tho so like. love on the babie

 

renjun: .

 

renjun: nvm jaemin was right

 

jaemin: As Per Usual

 

jaemin: in thirty years when i’m dead and gone you’ll all realize i was right about anything ever. and then. then you will know

 

jeno: are you implying that you’ll only live to be 48

 

jaemin: once the arthritis sets in nothing stops the imminence of death

 

lele: i’m shaking what does this mean

 

jaemin: Oh U Know

 

lele: JAEMIN PL

 

jeno: oh my god they fucking killed him

 

mark: who

 

jeno: the bastard reading this

 

mark: direct hit. direct hit. we’re going down i repeat we’re going down

 

lele: it’s what u deserve

 

mark: WHAT DID I DO

 

lele: invited yourself over to renjun’s house to dye everyone’s hair while jisung and i are bedridden

 

lele: we’re SUFFERING

 

lele: and ur putting chemicals in ur hair without us. sickening

 

jisung: mark i trusted u

 

jisung: u lived with me for how many years

 

jisung: and you hang me out to dry like this

 

mark: YOU HAVE MONO

 

mark: EPSTEIN-BARR

 

mark: MONONUCLEOSIS

 

mark: WHATEVER U WANNA CALL IT IM STAYING AWAY

 

jaemin: mark lived with who for what

 

donghyuck: OH MARK TELL HIM YOUR TRAGIC BACKSTORY!!! HE DOESN’T KNOW YET

 

mark: OH THIS IS FUN THIS IS FUN

 

mark: when i came out to my family as trans they moved us from canada to korea to put me in a less accepting environment because they thought it’d make me grow out of my “phase”

 

mark: eventually i got sick of it and ran away :D

 

mark: jisung’s brother taeyong found me living in the streets after a while and he just kind of. they. they kind of adopted me

 

mark: so they’re like the supportive brothers i never had

 

jisung: supportive family u never had

 

mark: no my sister was supportive!!! she was like 11 BUT

 

mark: damn she was a real one i miss you sungkyung

 

mark: omg do you think she remembers me….

 

donghyuck: usually when mark talks about his family he gets really sad about it but right now he has a look on his face

 

lele: what kind of look

 

donghyuck: a Look

 

donghyuck: and i don’t like it

 

mark: who wants to help me break into my house so i can talk to my little sister again for the first time in uh uh uh how many years

 

mark: i honestly don’t remember how long it’s been donghyuck how long has it been

 

donghyuck: IDK??? JISUNG HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN

 

jisung: you left home a month before your fifteenth birthday and we fake adopted you when you were fifteen so! you’re nineteen now and it’s october so a little over uhhh four years

 

mark: SUNGKYUNG IS FIFTEEN

 

mark: IM GONNA CRY SHES OUT THERE DOING HIGH SCHOOLER THINGS AND MAKING FRIENDS WHAT A LEGEND

 

mark: ANYWAYS WHO WANTS TO HELP ME MEET MY SISTER AGAIN!!!

 

renjun: ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

donghyuck: THIS IS AN AWFUL IDEA BUT I LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU!!!

 

jaemin: ME

 

jeno: YOU’RE GOING TO BE ARRESTED BUT OKAY!!!

 

jisung: i’m calling taeyong

 

mark: like u have the guts to text him

 

jisung: fair blow. hurtful but fair

 

lele: dont worry mark if you get arrested i’ll bail you out

 

mark: thanks chenle. that’s very comforting

 

lele: always happy to help

 

donghyuck: we need a plan

 

renjun: assuming mark’s family still lives at his old house just wait for her to come home from school

 

jaemin: what if his parents show up

 

mark: roll for perception

 

jeno: jisung roll

 

jisung: -2 proceed

 

mark: GREAT! it’s settled we’ll wait for sungkyung on my parents’ front porch

 

mark: i’ll see u nerds monday

 

mark: PEACE

 

mark has left the chat!

 

jeno: he’s so dramatic jisung why do you look up to him

 

jisung: he’s like taeyong but .2% less terrifying

 

donghyuck: sungie he’s not terrifying i literally watched him down a can of whipped cream and then snort it all back out of his nose because i said something that made him laugh so hard

 

donghyuck: i love the guy but hes essentially a big puppy

 

jeno has added mark to the chat!

 

jeno: donghyuck called you a puppy

 

jeno: just wanted u to know

 

mark: we’re breaking up. immediately. renjun is my new boyfriend

 

renjun: WHY AM I EVERYONE’S SCAPEGOAT BOYFRIEND!!

 

renjun: JENO THEN HYUCK THEN MARK I AM NOT HAVING IT

 

jaemin: JJJENO?

 

jeno: BYE!

 

jaemin: can it be this gc’s rite of passage to ask renjun out

 

donghyuck: no because if you ask him he’ll blush and say “haha why would you say that”

 

jaemin: jisung roll

 

jisung: FOUR!

 

jaemin: renjun date me <3

 

renjun: inhale

 

renjun has left the chat!

 

jaemin: BUZZKILL

 

jaemin has added renjun to the chat!

 

renjun has kicked jaemin from the chat!

 

jisung: i don’t have to see jaemin to be able to confirm that he’s currently pouting

 

jisung has left the chat!

 

lele: yall r boring

 

lele has left the chat!

 

mark: this is for calling me a puppy

 

donghyuck: IT WAS A JOKE

 

mark has kicked donghyuck from the chat!

 

mark has left the chat!

 

jeno: ah. silence and loneliness. time to rant

 

jeno: cannot fucking BELIEVE jaemin started hugging me without letting go whenever we were eating at the diner the other day

 

jeno: like it was the most casual thing for him but i still lost my mind

 

jeno: and jun looked so pretty that day too i swear to god i’ve barely come to terms with being gay and i’m still trying not to develop trust issues bc of eunji... if i have to add being in love with one boy and having a crush on another to my list of ongoing problems i’m gonna scream

 

jeno: is that. a thing.

 

jeno: liking two people

 

jeno: can people do that

 

jeno: oh my god i’m awful i’m horrible why would i even think that

 

jeno: it’s bad enough loving renjun who i know i can never be with… i’ve given up on him because i know he’ll never see me as anything more than a friend but with jaemin he. gives me hope i dont knowwww

 

jeno: he’s so touchy with me no one’s ever been touchy with me

 

jeno: i shouldn’t be ranting on here because the chats save shit

 

jeno: and i need to go to sleep while i still feel tired

 

jeno: but. hhhh

 

renjun: i’ll just. uh. go

 

jeno: WHAT HTE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FCUK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE WHAT THE FUCK WAHT THE FUCK WAHT THE FUCK

 

renjun: jaemin added me back remember

 

jeno: WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

 

renjun: heh

 

renjun has left the chat!

 

jeno: WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

 

jeno: WHAT THEF UCK

 

jeno: DELETING THIS CHAT NOW

 

jeno: WHAT HTE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

 

jeno has left the chat!

Chapter Text

lele: christ

 

lele: i forgot you all dyed your hair

 

lele: possibly including mark? idk he doesn’t GO TO SCHOOL ANYMORE so i haven’t seen him in a while

 

lele: i saw jaemin in class today and whacked him upside the head because i didn’t recognize him and thought he came to take my seat

 

jaemin: my jaw still hurts you demon

 

lele: love u :>

 

mark: my hair is back to black

 

donghyuck: :((((

 

jaemin: bitches of the jury

 

jaemin: (that’s how u do it respectfully renjun)

 

renjun: thanks

 

jisung: what do u want jaemin

 

jaemin: your unconditional support

 

jisung: you already have that?

 

jaemin: (he wheezes)

 

jaemin: anyways

 

jaemin: u know how cheer tryouts were last week

 

donghyuck: yea

 

jaemin: and you know how i used to be a gymnast before i hurt my back

 

donghyuck: yea ………..

 

jeno: you used to be a WHAT

 

jaemin: What if i told u i went to tryouts and they just texted me back asking me to be their captain

 

donghyuck: YOU’VE NEVER EVEN BEEN ON A CHEER TEAM BEFORE WHY ARE THEY ASKING YOU TO BE THEIR CAPTAIN

 

jaemin: FAKE NEWS YOU BITCH I WAS THE CHEER CAPTAIN AT MY OLD SCHOOL BEFORE I HURT MY BACK

 

donghyuck: BEFORE I HURT MY BACK THIS BEFORE I HURT MY BACK THAT EVERYTHING IN UR LIFE HAPPENED BEFORE U HURT UR BACK

 

jaemin: MAYBE,,, CONSIDER,,,,,, IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS IN TOO MUCH PAIN TO DO ANYTHING /AFTER/ I HURT MY BACK

 

donghyuck: ……. fair

 

jaemin: ive still got it tho……..  they asked me to do a bunch of shit for them and i was able to do everything

 

jeno: jaemin i’m fucking captain of the dance team and i can’t even do the splits

 

jeno: oh shit cheer season really is coming up huh

 

jeno: oh damn i’m gonna have to choreograph shit for halftime

 

jeno: and then all of eunjis cheerleader friends will choke me out

 

donghyuck: remember that one time renjun was on the basketball team for like a week

 

jeno: god yes that was so fucking funny he just flailed around the court

 

renjun: That was the period of time when i realized i was gay

 

renjun: it is also the reason i have an aversion to basketball now

 

donghyuck: you got over it though! and now you’re actually good at it

 

jaemin: renjun played basketball. renjun. renjun played BASKETBALL?

 

jeno: renjun did

 

jeno: renjun is very good at basketball

 

jeno: but renjun doesn’t like basketball

 

jeno: if donghyuck manages to convince him to join the team again this year then jaemin has to cheer at renjun’s games now haha

 

jaemin: JAEMIN HAS TO WHAT

 

jaemin: mother of god the coach just texted me back and asked for my dimensions for the uniform

 

jaemin: she sent pictures of the uniform

 

jaemin: i’m gonna gouge my eyes out i CANNOT fit in that

 

jaemin: (i refuse to fit in that)

 

donghyuck: DO YOU GET A SKIRT

 

jaemin: YES .

 

donghyuck: THIS IS AMAZING DO YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME WE DRESSED UP IN SKIRTS AND WENT OUT ON THE TOWN

 

jaemin: YES. THAT’S WHY IM MAD.

 

mark: WHEN YOU WHAT

 

jaemin: ANYWAYS

 

jaemin: SHE TOLD ME IF I DONT WANNA WEAR THE SKIRT I CAN WEAR LOOSE-FITTING TIGHTS

 

donghyuck: WEAR THE SKIRT U FUCKIN COWARD

 

jaemin: NO!

 

jaemin: my legs are holy and sacred and they will be saved for god and my future wife

 

renjun: jaemin you’re gay and an atheist

 

jaemin: God And My Future Wife!

 

jisung: so did yall forget about mark’s master plan

 

lele: His what

 

jeno: why’d you capitalize His

 

lele: u know how they capitalize pronouns referring to god

 

lele: there’s my reasoning

 

donghyuck: mark is not god he’s a bastard

 

lele: HEY. capitalize the g in god

 

donghyuck: YOU DIDNT DO IT EITHER

 

lele: Gark

 

donghyuck: fuck you drop ur location so i can come and choke u out

 

jaemin: anyways

 

lele: jisung His What

 

jisung: his plan

 

jisung: the one where he goes to his little sister’s house and tries to get in contact with her again

 

renjun: Oh. That Plan. The One We All Forgot About

 

jisung: mark where are u

 

mark: in my dorm

 

jisung: what about the plan

 

mark: i already taped a note to their front door so like. if she sees it then she sees it i guess

 

mark: all it said was her name and then my chat id

 

mark: anyways chenle i love u but never refer to me as Gark ever again

 

lele: whatever u say Gark

 

mark: okay, Die

 

donghyuck: do any of you bitches have a pencil i can borrow

 

renjun: why do you not have a pencil

 

donghyuck: i’m an art hoe?? i take my notes in pen and mildliners duh

 

renjun: never in my life have i wanted to kill you more

 

mark: we’re breaking up

 

donghyuck: PLEASEHNGKSNDHFKJ

 


 

[unknown contact] has requested to message you. accept?

 

[YES]

 

mark lee: who is this?

 

lee sungkyung: who are you

 

mark lee has changed their name to mark!

 

lee sungkyung: how do you know where i live and how did you know my name

 

mark: you had a sister right

 

mark: a long time ago

 

lee sungkyung: okay yeah how do you know that

 

lee sungkyung: she died years back

 

mark: alright thanks mom and dad

 

mark: listen i’m your sister

 

lee sungkyung: your name is literally mark

 

mark: you probably forgot about it but i’m trans

 

mark: idk what mom and dad told you but when we moved from canada to korea it was only to put me in an environment that wouldn’t accept me

 

mark: and eventually i got sick of it and ran away

 

lee sungkyung: my sister died in a car crash when i was 7

 

mark: did you go to the funeral?

 

lee sungkyung: what

 

mark: do you remember going to her funeral and seeing her

 

lee sungkyung: oh god

 

lee sungkyung: you’re right

 

lee sungkyung: if you’re really my sister then send a picture of yourself

 

mark: i’m not your sister anymore, i’m your brother

 

mark: and you wouldn’t be able to recognize me. i’ve transitioned

 

lee sungkyung has changed their name to kyungie!

 

kyungie: alright well still

 

kyungie: i have no way of knowing whether you’re actually my brother or not

 

mark: once when we were little u got stuck on an escalator and somehow ended up hanging off it as it carried u into the air and when u fell i had to catch u

 

kyungie: wow i didn’t think that would work

 

kyungie: why do you use u so much

 

mark: i’m gay it’s the only way i know how to type

 

mark: oh my god ur a baby i shouldn’t have said that

 

mark: i am… Straight….. yes………

 

kyungie: i like girls

 

mark: YOU SJFKSKKFSKS

 

kyungie: i joined the lgbt club at school! mom and dad don’t know but

 

kyungie: i’ve made some friends

 

kyungie: there’s this really nice kid named jaemin!! he’s newer to the club but he’s really sweet to me and he always buys me snacks

 

mark: .

 


 

private chat between mark and jaemin!

 

mark: JAEMIN

 

jaemin: what

 

mark: SUNGKYUNG

 

jaemin: your sister? i know two sungkyungs

 

mark: .

 

jaemin: .

 

jaemin: Oh my god that’s your sister

 

mark: THAT’S MY SISTERNSHGJKNSDHFKJANSHJK

 


 

private chat between mark and kyungie!

 

mark: who else do you know?

 

kyungie: well there’s renjun but he never says anything and he’s always hanging off donghyuck

 

mark: who’s donghyuck?

 

kyungie: he’s essentially the leader of the club

 

kyungie: he’s really pretty

 

kyungie: like. ethereal out of this world pretty

 

kyungie: i’m gay but

 

mark: who else

 

kyungie: well there’s jisung!!! he doesn’t talk much except to the boys but we have geometry together and he plays rock paper scissors under the table with me when i’m falling asleep from boredom

 

kyungie: oh! and there’s chenle he’s always trying to mess with donghyuck

 

kyungie: there’s jeno, he doesn’t come to a lot of meetings but when he does he usually doesn’t say much

 

kyungie: those are all people i don’t really talk to though

 

kyungie: i talk to the girls a lot more

 

mark: the girls?

 

kyungie: yeah!! we have a little gang

 

kyungie: me hyein yizhuo and hina

 

kyungie: they’re my best friends we all bond over cute girls

 

kyungie: also we exclude the boys from lgbt club movie nights because donghyuck never shuts up about his boyfriend

 

kyungie: i forgot his name but he is and i quote

 

kyungie: “the prettiest, most incredible boy in the universe”

 

kyungie: like it’s lgbt club but it’s not Donghyuck Wax Poetic About Your Boyfriend club

 

kyungie: some of us are wallowing in misery over being single

 


 

private chat between mark and donghyuck!

 

mark: prettiest most incredible boy in the universe huh

 

donghyuck: WHO SPILLED

 

donghyuck: WAS IT RENJUN

 

donghyuck: JENO

 

donghyuck: OH. JAEMIN.

 

mark: sungkyung

 

donghyuck: oh no oh god that’s sungkyung

 

donghyuck: please hit me upside the head how did i not realize!!! That’s Sungkyung

 

mark: jaemin didn’t either it’s ok

 

mark: dumbass solidarity

 


 

private chat between mark and kyungie!

 

mark: hey look

 

mark: [image attached]

 

kyungie: is that donghyuck

 

kyungie: wait whose cheek is he kissing

 

kyungie: is that his boyfriend

 

kyungie: he was right he’s pretty

 

kyungie: why do u have that photo

 

kyungie: how do u know what donghyuck looks like

 

kyungie: UNLESS

 

kyungie: OH MY GOD UR DONGHYUCK’S BOYFRIEND

 

kyungie: IT WAS /YOU/ WHO BOUGHT THAT WATERSLIDE THAT WE FILLED WITH GLITTER PAINT

 

kyungie: oh my god ur the one who made him cry that one time? i’m going to kill you

 

kyungie: ANSWER ME

 

mark: i’m just watching ur thought process dont mind me

 

kyungie: WAIT IF DONGHYUCK’S BOYFRIEND IS JISUNG’S OLDER BROTHER THEN IS JISUNG MY BROTHER????

 

kyungie: IM SO CONFUSED

 

mark: NO

 

mark: NOT BIOLOGICALLY

 

mark: jisung and his older brother taeyong kind of took me in after i ran away so i’m their honorary brother

 

kyungie: oh so there’s a difference between his brother and his Brother

 

mark: elaborate

 

kyungie: he’ll be like “my brother won’t stop calling me sigh” but then he’ll be like “my Brother wont stop sending me deep fried memes”

 

kyungie: and Brother gets a disappointed tone

 

mark: damn he doesn’t like my memes?

 

kyungie: they’re all dr phil edited onto an m&m posing like the you know i had to do it to em guy

 

kyungie: have some self control im begging u

 

mark: ...fair

 

kyungie: you rly let me rant about the alliance boys when u know two of them

 

kyungie: let me guess u know them all

 

mark: jeno is my best friend chenle is like a little brother to me and jaemin and renjun are both very close w/ me

 

kyungie: man FUCK you

 

mark: language

 

kyungie: i’m literally 15

 

mark: Language

 

kyungie: jisung is right ur a nerd

 

mark: i am ur BROTHER

 

kyungie: Act Like It! Buy Me Beer Or Something

 

mark: ur like 3

 

kyungie: sloooorp! [thats me downin a bud lite to spite u]

 

mark: OK! DIE!

 

kyungie: we Just reunited u can tell me to die when we’ve been talking for a year

 

mark: no

 

mark: if u have the guts to ask me to buy u beer then i am telling u to lock urself in a coffin

 

kyungie: rude. you’re estranged now

 

mark: was i not already

 

kyungie: NOOOOOO THAT WAS AWFUL STOP

 

mark: its the truth

 

mark: anyways i have to go study for my exam because cool college kid reasons

 

kyungie: oh bye!!! text me whenever i’d love to talk more

 

mark: <3

 

kyungie: oh BIG cringe

 


 

lele: and that’s how i nearly got jisung suspended for doing a flip off the monkey bars

 

mark: so were none of u going to tell me that lee sungkyung is my sister

 

jeno: . that makes sense

 

jaemin: mark im sorry

 

lele: shes………

 

jisung: OH!

 

jisung: damn

 

jisung: i had my suspicions once u told me ur sisters name but

 

jisung: hehe bitches i was right

 

mark: ur my onliest brother and u kept this from me….

 

jisung: taeyong is ur brother too

 

mark: sungkyung told me u favor him over me therefore im kicking him out of the fake family

 

jisung: alright. fair

 

jisung: my point is i was right

 

donghyuck: we GET it you’re SMART

 

jisung: :D

 

renjun: shes the one who has that fat crush on yizhuo right

 

donghyuck: mhm

 

jaemin: ye

 

mark: SHE WHAT

 

renjun: ning yizhuo

 

renjun: the girl who waxes poetic about ur little sister in mandarin to me because she only knows me as hwang injoon the quiet guy who doesn’t talk and she thinks i don’t understand

 

mark: She.. ,,hgsa,f,she hhas a crush on a girll,,,, SHEs growing up,,.............

 

renjun: if i have to listen to one more love rant i’m going to start identifying as a het

 

lele: oh yizhuo knows u speak mandarin she just likes torturing u bc ur both quiet and ur both chinese

 

renjun: how do u know this

 

lele: because we shit talk jeno in mandarin duh

 

donghyuck: im gonna learn japanese for hina

 

renjun: ur literally in a relationship

 

donghyuck: i didnt say i wanted to date her did i

 

donghyuck: i’m going to become her best friend and then we can shit talk jaemin in japanese

 

jaemin: jokes on u shes already my bffie

 

jaemin: there are few things i wouldn’t do for nakamura hina

 

jeno: would u die

 

jaemin: ABSOLUTELY.

 

mark: i feel bad for not joining lgbt club when i was in hs :((( i missed out on all these people apparently

 

donghyuck: well u id-ed as straight so

 

mark: Donghyuck I Am Transgender

 

donghyuck: OH RIGHT I FORGOT

 

mark: the only real trans ally

 

jeno: im RIGHT HERE

 

mark: u dont count

 

jeno: making a kickstarter to put mark down

 

jeno: the benefits of killing him would be that i would get bullied way less

 

mark: no one will donate to that

 

lele: i, for one, am donating my entire inheritance

 

jisung: me too!!!

 

donghyuck: i have $3

 

mark: i TRUSTED you

 

jaemin: $4

 

jeno: SOLD to the cutie with the pink hair

 

donghyuck: is this u flirting? ur out of touch damn

 

jeno: I will literally eat ur jugular

 

renjun: i refuse to contribute

 

mark: thank u renjun :D

 

renjun: c:

 

mark: anyways jeno that’s MY job >:( im the vampire here remember

 

renjun: never mind. i’ll send you my paypal information immediately

 

mark: D:

 

jeno: F

 

jaemin: F

 

lele: F

 

donghyuck: F

 

jisung has added kyungie to the chat!

 

jisung: F

 

kyungie: F

 

jisung has kicked kyungie from the chat!

 

renjun: F.

 

mark: EVIL. ALL OF YOU

 

mark has left the chat!




Chapter Text

jeno: hey

 

lele: hi?

 

jeno: i’m kind of in a predicament

 

lele: continue

 

jeno: i’m stuck here

 

donghyuck: where

 

jeno: this mouse trap

 

renjun: so you. let me get this clear. you

 

renjun: you’re stuck in a mousetrap

 

jeno: and it really hurts

 

jeno: does anyone know how to disarm it

 

jisung: i’m not sure it’s called disarming

 

jeno: okay well jisung my foot is kind of stuck in a mouse trap so excuse me for my syntax issues

 

jisung: hey dont look at me!!! im babey

 

lele: yes you are

 

renjun: okay no one fucking talk in caps lest He see this notification and check the chat

 

renjun: the LAST thing we want is keysmashing that’ll only make this worst

 

lele: YOU JUST FUCKING USED AN ALL-CAPS WORD.

 

renjun: YOU JUST FUCKING TYPED IN ALL-CAPS

 

jisung: everyone be quiet everything is fine this is fine he’s not here yet

 

jisung: stay calm

 

donghyuck: who are you talking about

 

jaemin: JNEO GOT HIS FUCKING FOOT STUCK IN A MOUSE TRAPGDSNJSDGHLKNFHAKSLNGHDKFNHSJAKLGNDKJFNHSAKJNGJDFNHKJSABGDHFJASGHLSDABFKJG

 

renjun: THAT. that is what im talking about

 

jaemin: half offended but i mean that’s fair enough

 

jaemin: BUT JENO GOT HIS FOOT STUCK IN A MOUSE TRAPHGSNKDFHAKJSGNHFLH

 

jeno: jaemin im gonna break ur neck

 

jeno: anyways i figured out how to get out of the mouse trap

 

jeno: but my toe hurts :///

 

lele: oh pee on it!

 

jeno: HUH?

 

lele: pee on it!! if you get a cut and it burns then pee on it and it won’t get infected

 

donghyuck: chenle. chenle that’s jellyfish stings

 

donghyuck: you pee on jellyfish stings

 

lele: NO IT’S CUTS

 

lele: PEE ON UR FOOT JENO

 

renjun: NO ONE IS PEEING ON ANYTHING.

 

lele: says YOU

 

jeno: IM NOT PEEING ON MY FOOT.

 

lele: FINE! WHAT DO I KNOW ANYWAY

 

renjun: NOT A LOT, APPARENTLY

 

lele: IM IN THE SMART KID CLASSES. I HAVE TO KNOW /SOMETHING/

 

renjun: YOU’RE THE DUMBEST SMART PERSON I KNOW

 

lele: GOD. GOD I HATE YOU. YOU’RE RIGHT

 

jisung: HES RIGHT

 

mark: CAN WE STOP YELLING

 

mark: JENO FIX YOUR WEIRD FOOT THING

 

mark: SOMEBODY NAG ME TO DO MY HOMEWORK

 

mark: AND SOMEBODY MAKE SURE JISUNG EATS DINNER

 

jeno: ok

 

mark: see? that’s calm. calm is good

 

jisung: hey i don’t eat dinner you know that

 

jisung: i consume depression snacks only

 

jisung: (a single potato chip and thirteen hawaiian rolls)

 

jeno: cool mine is whatever dirt i find under my fingernails and then i chase that with carmex

 

jaemin: Hey Are You Guys Okay

 

jeno: no we are not! :)

 

lele: my depression snack is as much hershey’s chocolate syrup as i can manage to fit into my mouth. it’s my weekly medicine too

 

jisung: oh my god is that why you taste like chocolate all the time when i kiss you

 

jisung: wait

 

jisung: OH GOD.

 

lele: GOD YOU FUCKING IDIOT I LOVE YOU

 

jisung: YOU WHAT?

 

lele: GOD. FUCK.

 

jisung: YOU FUCKING IDIOT I L*KE YOU TOO

 

jaemin: KISS????

 

jeno: LOVE???????????????????????

 

mark: ah. dumbasses.

 

renjun: so you’re telling me. they’ve been dating for however long. and we’ve had no idea

 

renjun: more importantly, I’VE had no idea,

 

donghyuck: i am going to burn you fuckers to the ground

 

lele: thanks

 

donghyuck: anytime

 

mark: no one is burning anything!!!!

 

jisung: on the topic of relationships and such

 

jeno: i’ll rip you apart with my bare fucking hands you twig

 

jisung: jeno! hows your ongoing crush on jaemin

 

jeno: my what

 

jaemin: his what

 

renjun: his WHAT

 

jisung: alright, new phrasing

 

jisung: jeno! hows your perpetual crush on renjun

 

jeno: haha lol my what

 

renjun: it’s good he can’t grasp that years of internalized homophobia have left me unable to love

 

renjun: he is also too stupid to realize that my monkey brain literally could not care less about my internalized homophobia and is going to implode soon

 

jeno: What does this mean im shaking

 

renjun: bad part of brain hate gay people even though im gay people

 

jaemin: i’m glad we’re finally outing jeno as polyamorous and in love with both of us

 

renjun: ah yes! did he accidentally rant about liking you in a private chat too?

 

jaemin: LMAOOOOOOOOOO

 

jeno: I’M GOING TO FUCKING SHAVE BOTH OF YOUR HEADS

 

jeno: ALL OF YOUR HEADS

 

jeno: WHAT DOES POLYAMOROUS MEAN

 

jeno: NEVER MIND IT DOESNT MATTER BECAUSE I DONT LIKE YOU ASSHOLES FUCK U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

donghyuck: all of this is news to me except jeno being oblivious to renjun’s gay hater syndrome

 

renjun: i’m sorry, i’m TRAUMATIZED

 

lele: god my hands are so dry

 

donghyuck: thanks chenle. thats what we needed in this conversation about jeno’s love life

 

lele: you’re all boring and it’s clear what’s gonna happen in like three months shut up and start talking about me and jisung again

 

renjun: you and jisung are old news ever since u decided not to tell me u STARTED DATING HIM

 

renjun: relationship dishing circle with chenle cancelled. jaemin is my relationship disher now

 

jaemin: i propose we meet and talk shit about jeno on wednesdays

 

renjun: yes!!!!

 

mark: can i join i wanna talk shit about jeno

 

jeno: why are you all BULLYING ME

 

renjun: sorry mark you can’t join unless jeno has fallen in like with you before

 

mark: Oh, Haven’t You Heard?

 

donghyuck: OH, HAVEN’T YOU HEARD?

 

jeno: NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO STOP THIS NOW

 

renjun: TELL ME. TELL ME NOW AND MAKE HIM SUFFER

 

mark: JENO AND I DATED ONCE BECAUSE WE BOTH HAD OUR GAY AWAKENING WHILE WE WATCHED THESE DUDES BUSKING ON THE STREET AND SO WE WERE LIKE “WELL ALL GAYS ARE ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER RIGHT” AND THEN WE JUST. DATED. BUT WE DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL SO WE REVERSE SPOONED AND HIGH-FIVED UNTIL WE BROKE UP

 

renjun: GOD. THAT’S SO FUCKING DISGUSTING I LOVE IT WELCOME TO THE CLUB

 

jaemin: BRING UR OWN JUICEBOX TO THE NEXT MEETING!!!!

 

mark: :D

 

jeno: do you all know that i hate you. all of you. collectively. the only person here i trust anymore is

 

jeno: wait never mind you’ve all wronged me the last person i trusted was jaemin but that’s out the window

 

jeno: wait

 

jeno has added kyungie to the chat!

 

kyungie: what do you want whore

 

mark: language

 

kyungie: oh god ur here im sorry

 

kyungie: what do you want dear friend jeno

 

kyungie: and dear friends [insert bastard names here]

 

mark: ur not supposed to know that word

 

kyungie: FUCK OFF LET HIM SPEAK

 

jeno: sungkyung ur the only one here i trust

 

kyungie: good

 

kyungie: eunji came to talk to my class about the benefits of joining cheerleading and i threw a stick at her head

 

kyungie: so you’d better trust me

 

mark: how do you know about what happened with eunji

 

mark: where did you get a stick to throw at her if you were in a classroom

 

mark: why do you know the b word

 

kyungie: bastard

 

mark: B. WORD.

 

kyungie: i stole the stick from donghyuck while he was waving it around and chasing jaemin with it

 

donghyuck: i told him it was his cane

 

donghyuck: bitch isn’t gonna pay for one so mother nature made one for him

 

renjun: god i love mother nature she’s my favorite lesbian

 

jaemin: you’re so fucking valid renjun

 

donghyuck: anyways

 

kyungie: donghyuck cartwheeled into our gsa meeting one day screaming about how eunji and jeno broke up and how jeno was finally free from her “demon claw clutches”

 

jeno: he was right

 

donghyuck: i was right!

 

kyungie: anyways can i leave now

 

mark: fine sure whatever

 

kyungie: love you or whatever

 

kyungie: bitchass

 

mark: love you too thot

 

mark has kicked kyungie from the chat!

 

mark: god i love that girl

 

jisung: i would hope so

 

jisung: me too

 

lele: can we all circle back to the fact that jeno got his foot stuck in a mouse trap

 

renjun: DONT

 

jeno: NO. YOU FUCKING BUFFOON

 

jaemin: JENO GOT HIS FOOT STUCK IN A MOUSETRAPNGSNDFNSDGNSDFNSGNSDNFHKSDHGKJASFHNKSDJGNSDHNFKJHS

 

donghyuck has kicked jaemin from the chat!

 

donghyuck: peace. at long last.

 

lele: it’s not peaceful here you’re still in the chat

 

donghyuck has kicked lele from the chat!

 

donghyuck: anyone else have any wisecracks for me

 

jisung: give me back my boyfriend

 

renjun: [he malfunctions]

 

donghyuck: u know what? u know what? im DONE, GOODNIGHT, i cannot please everyone and still expect to be thanked. exhausted and upset

 

mark: dramatic

 

donghyuck: THIN FUCKING ICE, LEE,

 

mark: whatre you gonna do. divorce me?

 

donghyuck: yeah :) taking ur money in the settlement too

 

donghyuck: if you’d like to go to court that is

 

mark: let’s do it baby i know the law

 

renjun has kicked mark from the chat!

 

renjun has added jaemin to the chat!

 

renjun: i know he said baby as a joke but that’s literally the most disgusting thing he’s ever said i physically cringed away from my screen as he said it

 

donghyuck: as you should, that’s what i do with all of his messages

 

jaemin: that’s what i do with all of yours donghyuck

 

donghyuck: SICK AND TIRED OF THE UNAPPRECIATION IN THIS HOUSEHOLD. GOODNIGHT.

 

jaemin: dramatique!

 

donghyuck has left the chat!

 

 

Chapter Text

jisung: going to the store yall want anything

 

jaemin: serotonin

 

donghyuck: some more bagel bites

 

jeno: for renjun to love me back

 

jisung: yeah i have like eight bucks at most

 

renjun: oh are we putting your love out in the open now

 

jeno: you bastards already figured it out somehow so i Guess

 

jaemin: bastards?

 

jaemin: oh i count

 

jaemin: does that mean

 

jeno: jisung get me some oreos

 

jisung: do i gotta

 

jeno: for your favorite older brother?

 

mark: HEY.

 

mark: i got estranged once i will NOT tolerate a second time

 

jeno: hush

 

jisung: jeno’s my honorary older brother

 

mark: says WHO

 

jisung: me. that is a thing. that i just said

 

mark: :(

 

renjun: jisung can you get me some m&ms

 

jisung: do i have to

 

renjun: ye

 

jisung: okay but im not walking over to your place to give you m&ms you have to get them tomorrow at school

 

renjun: that’s so far away from now though :///

 

jaemin: that’s lazy just walk to jisung’s and get your candy

 

renjun: no

 

jaemin: hermes would be disappointed in you

 

lele: i only know who that is because of percy jackson B)

 

jisung: dont use that emoticon ever again

 

jeno: omg i loved percy jackson when i was little!!!

 

donghyuck: so you’re gay

 

jeno: . y

 

jeno: . yeah

 

donghyuck: thinking about him

 

mark: who

 

donghyuck: frank zhang

 

jeno: lawful. my favorite animorph

 

lele: it’s alright you can call him a furry

 

jisung: HE’S NOT A FURRY

 

renjun: you’re just defending him because you’re a furry yourself

 

jisung: I’M NOT    A FUCKING FURRY!!!!!

 

lele: don’t make me break out the old timey text

 

jisung: do it you won’t

 

lele: HARK! A FOOL!

 

jisung: this doesn’t phase me jeno calls me stupid every day

 

jaemin: jeno i’m literally gonna rip your eyes out

 

jeno: or…… you could……… Not do that?

mark: yeah im with jeno on that one

 

lele: jisung is no more brain than stone and a furry as well

 

jisung: WE’RE THROUGH.

 

lele: baby taketh me backeth :(

 

jisung: jokes on you. i can’t read

 

lele: art all furries illit'rate?

 

jisung: i’m literally calling mark as we speak

 

mark: who hurt you

 

jisung: look! i summoned him

 

lele: behold! a furry and a beldams!

 

renjun: what the fuck is a beldams

 

lele: idk i typed in witch and that’s what i got out of it

 

jisung: HOW DOES MARK BEING A GOOD AND PUNCTUAL BROTHER MAKE ME A WITCH

 

lele: mark is fraternizing with the enemy

 

mark: ENEMY??? HELL NAH

 

mark: i’m on your side

 

jaemin: a double agent, if you will

 

mark: i’m agen’t

 

jeno: you’re WHAT?

 

mark: i’m not an agent

 

mark: i’m a spy

 

renjun: no explain the. agen’t

 

mark: i’m creating new contractions

 

mark: agen’t = not agent

 

jisung: mark that’s. that’s not how it works

 

mark: you mean that’sn’t how it works

 

jisung: NO.

 

donghyuck: i’m literally throwing you out of your dorm

 

donghyuck: i’m texting your roommate and telling him to kick you in the shin

 

mark: good, i’m pretty sure dejun hates me anyway

 

renjun: dejun? as in.

 

lele: [chinese psychic noises]

 

lele: Xiao Dejun?

 

mark: how do you know that

 

renjun: cousin

 

renjun: goes to the same college as you

 

renjun: just now made the connection

 

renjun: the important question here is how does CHENLE know

 

lele: i said [chinese psychic noises] does that not explain everything

 

lele: chinese hive mind

 

lele: i know what you’re thinking before you even say it out loud

 

lele: and right now you’re thinking about buying me dinner because i’m such a wonderful little babey

 

jisung: you’re not a babey you’re a demon

 

mark: you’ren’t a babey

 

mark: :D

 

donghyuck: SORRY I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUNDS OF ME AGGRESSIVELY TEXTING DEJUN

 

mark: jokes on u!!!! he’s probably on a date with his loser boyfriend!!!!!

 

renjun: . boyfriend

 

renjun: BOYFRIEND?

 

mark: …………..yes?

 

renjun: boy name. contact info. social security number. now

 

renjun: credit card information is not required but would be greatly appreciated

 

mark: uh. he calls himself frogboy that’s all i know

 

mark: and he’s really cuddly

 

mark: the second time i met him he shouted “MARK!!!” and gave me a bear hug and now it’s custom for him to jump into my arms every time i see him. i still don’t know his name though

 

donghyuck: wish i had a boyfriend who would let me jump into his arms

 

donghyuck: Oh Wait,

 

mark: nope not happening

 

mark: this binder already gives me back problems the last thing i need is for my back to hurt on a daily basis

 

jaemin: gee mark i wonder what it’s like to have back problems on a daily basis. i really wonder

 

lele: frogboy? that sounds familiar

 

jeno: OH OH OH I KNOW HIM

 

jeno: FROGGY

 

mark: WHO?

 

jeno: FROGGY!!!! WE ALL CALL HIM FROGGY

 

mark: WHO’S “WE”

 

jeno: DANCE SQUAD

 

donghyuck: I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT EXPLAIN

 

jeno: NO THE ONE I SNEAK OUT TO BE IN

 

jeno: THE ONE THAT MEETS UP LIKE THREE TIMES A MONTH AND WE ALL JUST GO FUCKING HAM TO SOME EDM

 

jeno: HE’S CHILL WE GET ICE CREAM AFTER MEETS

 

mark: yeah but what’s his name

 

jeno: liu yangyang!

 

lele: YANGYANG

 

lele: YES I KNOW HIM

 

renjun: LIU YANGYANG? THE BASTARD THAT SAT ON TOP OF MY CAR FOR A MONTH STRAIGHT LAST YEAR? THAT LIU YANGYANG?

 

donghyuck: OH. HIM.

 

donghyuck: HE TOOK MY MILK AT LUNCH ONCE :(

 

mark: what a villain

 

donghyuck: i BOUGHT that milk with my OWN MONEY

 

donghyuck: he bullied me it counts

 

jeno: NO THATS HIM TRYING TO BE YOUR FUCKING FRIEND IDIOT

 

jeno: HES THE KIND OF FRIEND THAT’S MEAN TO U AND CALLS U A BITCH BUT HES A BIG SOFTIE

 

jeno: LIKE JISUNG BUT MEAN

 

lele: jisung is evil what are you talking about

 

jisung: im EVIL. fear me

 

renjun: you sound like a rawr xd kid on wattpad

 

jisung: FUCK.

 

mark: god i’m gonna cry dejun was filling out an application and mumbling to himself and he went “whats 5 times 40” and i just.

 

mark: with absolutely no hesitation i said “2,000”

 

mark: and he just STARED AT ME.

 

jaemin: you absolute fucking idiot. i love you

 

mark: nothing has hurt me like this

 

mark: i’m literally just trying to do research on my possible major i didn’t ask to be attacked by math

 

lele: MAJOR?

 

jaemin: MAJOR?!?!?!?!?

 

mark: oh we are NOT doing this

 

mark: all i’m saying is that i’m stupid and that my possible (probable?) major is gay

 

donghyuck: how gay

 

mark: i chose it bc of you so i’d say pretty gay

 

donghyuck: GAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

mark: , gay

 

jaemin: u can’t just say that and not tell us

 

renjun: i agree

 

mark: :) goodnight everyone

 

donghyuck: mark

 

donghyuck: mark come back

 

jisung: Mark.

 

lele: MARK

 

renjun: gentlemen. we ride at dawn

 

jeno: for what

 

renjun: mark’s major what else

 

renjun has kicked jeno from the chat!

 

renjun: that’s for asking stupid questions

 

jaemin: spare him he’s gay

 

renjun: fine but just this once

 

lele: that’s gay

 

renjun: i will literally break your wrists and steal your spinal cord

 

jaemin: if you do the second can i have it

 

lele: you don’t even have to ask just take it

 

jisung: hey

 

jisung: i’m going to steal your bones

 

lele: is that not like. my specialty

 

lele: that’s illegal you can’t do that

 

lele: stealing professions? illegal

 

mark: can we go back to the fact that i don’t know math because i’m still devastated over it

 

donghyuck: mark what’s five times four

 

mark: one second

 

donghyuck: DON’T GOOGLE IT.

 

mark: TWENTY

 

donghyuck: what’s the square root of 49

 

mark: what the fuck is a square root i honest to god forgot

 

donghyuck: you’re so fucking dumb i love you

 

renjun has kicked donghyuck from the chat!

 

renjun: his crime was being gay in public

 

mark: F

 

renjun has kicked mark from the chat!

 

renjun: outdated meme

 

renjun: goodnight kids

 

lele: im so afraid. why did you spare me

 

lele: i’m the evilest one here

 

renjun: oh your time is soon

 

renjun: goodnight kids :)

 

jisung: HEY! WHAT THE FUCK. GOODNIGHT.

Chapter Text

jeno: gays!!!!! good news!!!!!

 

lele: do share

 

jeno: yall know the school musical is coming up right

 

donghyuck: yeah

 

jeno: the drama dpt commissioned us to be backup dancers!!!

 

jeno: we’re getting PAID babey!

 

lele: omg how much

 

jeno: wouldn’t you like to know rich boy

 

jeno: somebody who’s not rich ask me how much

 

jisung: how much

 

jeno: i’ve seen your tax records don’t lie to me

 

jisung: I’M SIXTEEN?

 

jeno: AH. i was thinking of mark

 

mark: I DONT EVEN PAY MY TAXES…

 

renjun: what an upstanding citizen

 

jeno: anyways

 

jeno: .4% of their total haul!!!

 

mark: that doesnt sound like a lot

 

jeno: oh it’s not

 

jeno has kicked mark from the chat!

 

jeno: only it totally is when you consider that the musical is a partnership with five other schools and that every single showing is always packed with people sitting on the floor just to see the show

 

jeno: so. we’re talking the hundreds range here PER SHOW

 

jeno: and i know we should put it towards the fund for the dance team but. guys

 

renjun: omg

 

renjun: omg guys

 

jeno: no let me say it!!!

 

renjun: no :D

 

renjun: WE SHOULD PUT THE MONEY TOWARDS A TOP SURGERY FUND FOR MARK

 

jisung: YOU WANNA MAKE ME CRY? HUH? IS THAT IT? YOU WANNA MAKE ME CRY LIKE A LITTLE BITCH?

 

donghyuck: IM GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ALL OF YOU

 

donghyuck: DO IT

 

donghyuck: ok can i add him back

 

renjun: go for it

 

donghyuck has added mark to the chat!

 

mark: what was that for bitchasses

 

jeno: top secret dance team business

 

jeno: anyways im excited to get the money for the dance fund

 

jeno: we’ll start learning choreo at practice next monday

 

donghyuck: yeah about that i. can’t go to dance practice until the musical is over

 

jeno: why

 

donghyuck: it has to do with my announcement

 

lele: what announcement

 

donghyuck: the one i’m announcing rn bitch!!!

 

donghyuck: anyways i can’t go to dance practice because my schedule is gonna be pretty booked

 

donghyuck: if u catch my drift

 

jeno: what do you have going on

 

donghyuck: i’m busy every single day that the musical is practicing :////

 

jeno: with what

 

donghyuck: oh yknow ://

 

jeno: how do you know what days the musical has practice

 

jeno: they havent even told me yet

 

donghyuck: oh

 

donghyuck: yknow,,,

 

jeno: no really how

 

jeno: what kinda connections do u have we might need them if we wanna get closer to the stage

 

renjun: jeno you’re so fucking dumb i love you

 

renjun: he’s busy when the musical is practicing because he’s in the musical

 

jeno: .

 

mark: HYUCKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

jaemin: HYUCKKKKKK

 

lele: OMG

 

lele: WHO DO U PLAY

 

donghyuck: do u nerds even know what the musical is

 

lele: no

 

mark: what is it

 

donghyuck: high school musical

 

lele: TELL ME WHO YOU PLAY RN OR IM GONNA RIP YOUR THROAT OUT

 

donghyuck: TROY I PLAY TROY

 

jaemin: YOU GOT LEAD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

donghyuck: YEAH IDK HOW I TOLD THEM I’D NEVER EVEN ACTED BEFORE

 

mark: UR JUST THAT GOOD BABEY!!!!!

 

mark: i’m so proud of you :((( i love you i cant wait to get tickets for literally every showing

 

donghyuck: i love u too!!!

 

donghyuck: im nervous but im rly excited to try my best :D

 

jaemin: im so excited to hear u sing ur gonna do so well

 

donghyuck: have you ever even heard me sing before

 

jaemin: come to think of it no

 

renjun: wait ive. never heard you sing either

 

jeno: me neither???

 

lele: me neither,,,

 

mark: .

 

mark: donghyuck why have u never sung for us

 

donghyuck: bc i cant sing

 

renjun: THAT LOGIC. IT’S FLAWED

 

renjun: /YOU GOT THE LEAD ROLE IN A MUSICAL YOU CAN’T JUST SAY YOU CAN’T SING YOU COMPLETE DUMBASS/

 

donghyuck: I CAN AND I FUCKING WILL.

 

mark: donghyuck what does ur voice sound like

 

donghyuck: ugly

 

renjun: AGAIN, flawed logic i’m going to piss in your shoes

 

jaemin: ...ok pissboy

 

lele: PISSBOY

 

jisung: whats that

 

mark: NOBODY FUCKING SAY THE P WORD AGAIN

 

jisung: piss?

 

jisung: OH. PISS.

 

jaemin: did you FORGET what the word piss meant

 

jisung: MAYBE.

 

jeno: so anyways now that we know renjun is into piss

 

jeno: donghyuck what does your voice sound like

 

renjun: IM NOT INTO PISS IM AN UPSTANDING TEENAGE BOY I SWEAR I PROMISE YOU

 

renjun: I MADE HONOR ROLL LAST YEAR

 

jaemin: AND THIS YEAR?

 

renjun: ……………….. AB HONOR ROLL

 

jaemin: JUST WHAT I THOUGHT. YOUR GRADES DROPPED BECAUSE OF PISS

 

renjun: JAEMIN HOW WOULD THEY DROP BECAUSE OF PISS

 

jaemin: I DONT KNOW DONT TRY AND TAKE DONGHYUCK’S SPOTLIGHT AWAY PISSBOY

 

mark: donghyuck take the fall for him

 

jeno: u mean take the piss

 

jaemin: THE PISS? THE FUCKING PISS? I’M GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU WITH A CANE THAT I DONT EVEN OWN ITS GONNA BE A SIX FOOT STICK I FIND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS WHILE LOOKING FOR RENJUN’S CARCASS BECAUSE I FUCKING MURDERED HIM AND LEFT HIM THERE

 

lele: anyone know why jaemins feral rn

 

jisung: someone said the p word

 

lele: haha pee

 

donghyuck: WHY DID YOU MURDER HIM HE DIDNT DESERVE THAT

 

jaemin: you know what he did

 

renjun: can we all stop being so needlessly ominous can we PLEASE

 

mark: you know what that’s it i’m the oldest in this chat and i’m banning any discussion of urine

 

donghyuck: what about urinetown

 

mark: what the fuck is urinetown

 

donghyuck: a musical

 

mark: ok urinetown can stay but it’s on thin fucking ice

 

jeno: okay we completely derailed this conversation

 

jeno: donghyuck sing for us

 

donghyuck: ha losers u have to wait till the musical actually starts having practice

 

mark: can i come to the practices

 

donghyuck: no

 

mark: WHY :(

 

donghyuck: bc of all the people i know u are the person i want to hear my singing the least

 

mark: not gonna lie it stung but i respect it

 

donghyuck: ITS NOT LIKE THAT im just a self-conscious little bitch

 

donghyuck: anyways back to ur regularly scheduled bitchy donghyuck

 

donghyuck: u can wait to hear my voice during opening night like the rest of us

 

donghyuck: im going to bed

 

renjun: it’s 4pm

 

donghyuck: what about it pissboy

 

renjun: :)

 

renjun: goodnight donghyuck, enjoy your last sleep :)

 

lele: renjun, no


renjun: renjun yes :)

 

 

Chapter Text

jaemin: y’all know when the first day of practice is this week

 

renjun: jaemin i literally texted you last night before you went to bed that practice was after school today

 

jaemin: that’s on you, u know im forgetful

 

jaemin: i have to stay after school to take a test so i’ll miss most of it i think

 

renjun: wtv i’ll be late too

 

jaemin: dinner afterwards?

 

donghyuck: where

 

jaemin: i want pizza :(

 

jeno: aight are we gonna carpool then

 

lele: jisung and i will walk

 

jisung: i dont have legs.

 

lele: hes grumpy

 

jeno: why

 

lele: we stayed up until 4am trying to find each other on omegle

 

lele: weve seen things.

 

jeno: jisung u can nap in the car

 

lele: can i nap in the car :(

 

jeno: duh!!!

 

jaemin: did u guys find each other though

 

jisung: yeah and then chenle DISCONNECTED

 

lele: I FELL ASLEEP MY PHONE SHUT OFF

 

jisung: WE WERE SUPPOSED TO DO THE BOYFRIEND THING WHERE WE FALL ASLEEP FACETIMING AND THEN WAKE UP LATE

 

lele: WE WERENT EVEN FACETIMING

 

jisung: OMEGLE VIDEOING THEN

 

jaemin: if either one of u speaks using a capital letter again i’m going to find you both and string you up by your ear piercings its too early for this

 

jisung: affirmative 

 

lele: Yes Sir

 

jaemin: CHENLE. WHAT DID I TELL YOU.

 

lele: FUCK IM SORRY

 

jisung: YOURE DOING IT

 

lele: YEAH WELL YOURE DOING IT TOO

 

lele: JAEMINS DOING IT

 

mark: EVERYBODY CAKM DOWN

 

mark: im muting this chat i cant risk my gpa dropping



renjun: awfully bold of you to say that when we all know your gpa has hit rock bottom

 

mark: rude and uncalled for. blocked

 

donghyuck: renjun ill eat ur face off

 

renjun: u already did during that one time we dated

 

donghyuck: RUDE AND UNCALLED FOR. BLOCKED

 

jaemin: renjun ill eat ur face off

 

renjun: id like that actually

 

jaemin: RUDNEANT UNCLALED FOR BLCOKED

 

jeno: renjun ill eat ur face off 

 

renjun: you’d like that actually

 

jeno: RUD ENADMA UNCELDH AED FORBLOCKED!!!!

 

jeno has left the chat!

 

lele: you. you killed him

 

mark: junnie ur so mean today

 

renjun: pay attention to your prof loser

 

mark: i’ll fail if i want to i dont even like this major anyways

 

mark: insert me hitting the woah and drowning in debt

 

jaemin: is there something else u want to major in

 

mark: yea

 

jaemin: so major in that 

 

mark: .

 

mark: No?

 

jaemin: ????? WHY

 

mark: IT’S EMBARRASSING???

 

jaemin: try me i’ve seen ur puny bf embarrass himself so many times that literally nothing you do can phase me

 

mark: no :)

 

mark: im gonna go not fail biology see u bitches

 

jeno has joined the chat!

 

jeno: i can’t BELIEVE none of you added me back

 

jeno: you’re supposed to do that when someone dramatically leaves a gc

 

renjun: no

 

jeno: ur so :((( mean to me :((( what did i ever do to u :((((

 

renjun: summer of 2018 intensifies

 

jeno: I SAID I WAS SORRY

 

jaemin: what happened in summer 18

 

renjun: so much

 

renjun: too much

 

donghyuck: oh can i spill

 

renjun: no

 

jeno: no

 

donghyuck: tea time! jeno confessed his Undying Love for renjun and renjun rejected him so jeno moped all summer until he got a girlfriend and then he and renjun got in an argument over. actually they never told us! but they didnt talk to each other for So Long and then mark got his head out of his ass and made them make up and now they’re chill even though jeno still very obviously likes renjun and now more recently [REDACTED]

 

donghyuck: at least i hope theyre chill

 

donghyuck: you two are chill right

 

jeno: YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM

 

renjun: lmao he still liiiiiikes me

 

jeno: BYE

 

jeno has left the chat!

 

donghyuck has added jeno to the chat!

 

jeno: YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO ADD ME BACK THAT TIME IM FEELING A LOT OF THINGS BUT ABOVE ALL I AM FEELING NOT VERY CASH MONEY. TRADEMARKEMOJI GOODBYE

 

jeno has left the chat!

 

donghyuck: that wasn’t very cash money of him

 

jaemin: so when are you gonna tell him you like him too

 

renjun: idk next month prolly

 

lele: WHY ARE U SO CASUAL ABOUT IT THAT BOY HAS BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK LET HIM HAVE UR HEART

 

lele: BE GOOD TO HIM OR JISUNG AND I WILL DATE HIM

 

jisung: ew no thats my brother

 

lele: BE GOOD TO HIM OR ILL DATE HIM WITH JISUNGS CONSENT

 

jisung: k

 

renjun: omg no wait

 

donghyuck: heheheheheh screenshot time

 

jaemin: NO!!!! RESPECT RENJUN

 

donghyuck: okay i wont but mark will i know that

 

donghyuck: jenos his bffie u cant expect him to not get receipts the way jeno did that one time when mark and i got together

 

jaemin: he was a real one ur right

 

renjun: I DONT WANT MARK TO TLEL HIM THE FUCK

 

renjun: WHAT DO I DO

 

jaemin: SOFTBLOCK MARK

 

donghyuck: DON’T SOFTBLOCK MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND

 

renjun has kicked mark from the chat!

 

donghyuck: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SOFTBLOCKED MY FUCKING OBYFRIEND

 

renjun: OKAY WELL MAYBE IF HE WASN’T LOYAL TO JENO

 

lele: MAYBE IF U STOPPED MESSING W JENO

 

renjun: MAYBE IF YALL LET ME DO THIS ON MY OWN TIME!!!!!!

 

jaemin: IAGREE

 

renjun: SHUT UP UR IN THIS BOAT TOO

 

jaemin: IM WHAT.

 

donghyuck: WHY ARE WE STILL SHOUTING

 

jisung: WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING PERSONAL AFFAIRS ON MAIN

 

lele: WHY ARENT WE PAYING ATTENTION IN CLASS

 

jisung: jeno just asked if we were talking about him still and since im a little bitch i said yes and he asked to be excused and as soon as he stepped into the hallway he just. the door closed and he screamed

 

lele: renjun see what ur doing to him

 

lele: u broke him hes malfunctioning 

 

renjun: im gonna kill u all

 

renjun: we were Havin Fun and Joking why did we have to make it Serious yet somehow still memey now i feel bad

 

donghyuck: junnie :(

 

renjun: yall know i have a plan for everything right

 

renjun: just let me do my thing ull see! everythings gonna turn out fine

 

jisung: ok

 

donghyuck: we trust u <3

 

-

 

private chat between jaemin and renjun!

 

jaemin: youre lying

 

renjun: yeah

 

renjun: but only because youre fucking up the plan that i had before

 

renjun: nice excuse with the test thing by the way

 

renjun: same spot?

 

jaemin: same spot. see you there <3


renjun: <3

Chapter Text

private chat between donghyuck and mark!

 

donghyuck: mark

 

mark: yes bitchboy?

 

donghyuck: rhis is serious hold on

 

mark: oh sorry! tell me what’s going on 

 

donghyuck: [image attached]

 

donghyuck: i was. early to practice. and i found this

 

donghyuck: and i want to tell jeno i want to tell him so bad because. you know. but like what do i DO with this

 

mark: is that

 

donghyuck: sorry that it’s dark and blurry

 

donghyuck: it’s jaemin and renjun

 

donghyuck: theyre. kissing backstage 

 

donghyuck: they didn’t see me because of how dark it was thank god

 

mark: didn’t jaemin say he’d be late to practice

 

donghyuck: so did renjun

 

mark: :////

 

mark: why backstage don’t you practice there

 

mark:  won’t they get caught

 

donghyuck: we practice outside for the first little bit because. it’s easier idk

 

donghyuck: i wanna know how long this has been going on and why renjun is. i don’t even know 

 

donghyuck: but what do i do

 

donghyuck: should i tell jeno?

 

mark: i know it sounds bad but showing him the picture will hurt him more than it’ll help him

 

donghyuck: okay 

 

donghyuck: you’re probably right

 

mark: delete it in a couple days and hopefully this whole thing will just blow over

 

donghyuck: god i hope

 

donghyuck: i really hope jen doesnt find out

 

donghyuck: that sounds. Bad. but like u said it’ll hurt him 

 

donghyuck: and :///

 

mark: yeah

 

donghyuck: lets help him out these next few weeks

 

mark: of course 

 

donghyuck: i’ve gotta go i’ve been hiding out in the bathroom for too long

 

mark: alright bye baby

 

mark: be safe knock em dead

 

donghyuck: u know i will <3

 

-

 

private chat between jaemin and renjun!

 

jaemin: do you think he saw us

 

renjun: his fucking phone camera clicked jaemin he’s not as slick as he thinks he is

 

renjun: yes he saw us 

 

jaemin: this is bad

 

jaemin: we’ve gotta stop doing this

 

renjun: i know

 

renjun: but what if i don’t exactly want to

 

jaemin: i don’t want to either but what about jeno

 

renjun: i know

 

jaemin: i just feel shitty i know what we’re doing is wrong in some level but. i like you a lot

 

jaemin: and i like him a lot

 

renjun: me too

 

jaemin: i know we did all the googling and stuff and found out polyamory is a thing and i don’t want to take away from the problem at hand but every time i think about the fact that i like both of u i feel awful

 

jaemin: like idk i feel like a freak i don’t like it

 

jaemin: and i also feel like we’re just stringing him along i feel like such a shitty person

 

jaemin: anyways jeno 

 

renjun: no i get it me too

 

renjun: im just like that every time i think about liking boys 

 

renjun: it’s some kind of internalization thing

 

renjun: and i’m not gonna sugarcoat it fucking uh. youre right this is shitty of us because if he finds out i know it’ll both start some shit and end some shit and i’m not ready to face that

 

renjun: i’m also not ready to stop w/ u either though

 

renjun: but. yeah. jeno 

 

renjun: what do we do about him

 

jaemin: literally even the thought of telling him about us or that we like him makes me big panic

 

jaemin: but we should ask him to prom with us i think

 

renjun: yeah

 

renjun: that’s a month away though

 

jaemin: that’s literally the closest to now i can stand 

 

renjun: okay

 

renjun: prom then

 

renjun: lets just hope donghyuck doesn’t leak the photo

 

jaemin: yeah.

 

jaemin: wanna bail when everyone goes to get pizza? i can cook us cheap noodles and we can watch disney movies

 

jaemin: (please say yes i am very emotionally vulnerable rn)

 

jaemin: (we can also make out if the noodles permit)

 

renjun: (can we do a lady and the tramp spaghetti kiss)

 

jaemin: (you are literally made for me holy shit yes we can do a lady and the tramp spaghetti kiss but only if we watch hercules because that movie slaps megara turns me straight everytime)

 

renjun: (OH TO BE A BREEDER….)

 

renjun: (can we stop talking like this)

 

jaemin: (no we’re being cute boyfriends)

 

jaemin: (WAIT)

 

renjun: B. B BO BBOY. FINR ED>?

 

jaemin: IM SORRY I KNOW WE HAVETN MADE IT OFIFICAL OR ANYTHING BUT.

 

jaemin: UH.

 

renjun: FUCKING WHATEVER I GUESS WE’RE DATING???

 

jaemin: REALLY

 

renjun: DUDE YOU SAID IT DONT BE SURPRISED

 

jaemin: DON’T CALL ME DUDE WE’RE FUCKING DATING

 

renjun: I’M TOO SCARED OF AFFECTION TO CALL YOU BABE SO WHAT ARE WE LEFT WITH

 

jaemin: IDK FUCJKING. HONEY

 

jaemin: DARLING

 

jaemin: SWEETHEART

 

renjun: WE’VE BEEN DATING FOR A MINUTE AND A HALF IM NOT USING OLD MARRIED COUPLE PET NAMES

 

renjun: AND THOSE ARE DISGUSTINGLY CUTEI THREW UP A LITTLE

 

renjun: ANYWAYS. WE’RE DITCHING. AND THEN WE’RE GONNA GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE AND EAT SOME NOODLES AND MAKE OUT AND DO A NOODLE KISS

 

renjun: AND IM GONNA FALL ASLEEP ON UR CHEST AND IF YOU SAY A DAMN THING OR WAKE ME UP I’LL LEAVE

 

jaemin: CALM DOWN I WONT

 

jaemin: WE’RE GONNA BE GAY AND DOMESTIC

 

renjun: YEAH WE ARE!!!!

 

jaemin: NOW PAY ATTENTION I THINK DONGHYUCK IS TRYING TO STARE A HOLE THROUGH YOUR PHONE

 

renjun: RIGHT

 

renjun: BYE

 

jaemin: BYE

 

-

 

private chat between lele and jisung!

 

lele: BABYYYYYY

 

jisung: WHAT DID I TELL U AHOUT CALLING ME PET NAMES. 

 

lele: TO NOT DO IT

 

lele: BUT

 

lele: BABYYYYYY

 

jisung: WHAT. 

 

lele: WILL U GO TO PROM WITH ME YOU FUCKING PLEB!!!!

 

jisung: YEA THAT WAS A FUCKING GIVEN 

 

jisung: WE’RE DATING

 

lele: I WAS JUST MAKING SURE

 

lele: WHAT DO U WANNA WEAR

 

jisung: a dress

 

lele: OK!!!!

 

jisung: wait that was a joke

 

lele: idc what u wear just text me a picture so i can find smth that matches 

 

jisung: WHY WERE U FINE QITH THW JOKE

 

lele: sungie i literally do not give a shit what u wear u can wear a hot dog costume and ull still b the prettiest boy there

 

jisung: NO U GOT ME FUCKED UP CHWNLE CHENLNEEE WHATSHAPOENINGF

 

lele: WHAT DO U MEAN

 

jisung: ILL. BE BACK

 

-

 

private chat between jisung and mark!

 

jisung: mark

 

mark: that is my name yes

 

jisung: can i call you

 

jisung: wait im nonverbal rn nvm

 

jisung: i have a question 

 

mark: shoot

 

jisung: god how do i ask this

 

jisung: how did you. know

 

jisung: that you uh

 

mark: i got it baby you don’t have to keep going

 

mark: how about i call you and tell you? you don’t have to say anything you can just listen

 

jisung: okay

 

jisung: thank you

 

mark: of course

 

incoming call from mark!

 

accept | decline

 

-

 

end call with mark?

 

yes | no

 

call ended.

 

mark: feel better?

 

jisung: yeah. thank you

 

mark: prom shopping friday?

 

jisung: mhm

 

jisung: might chicken out but yeah

 

jisung: thanks for not. Uh being a dick ig

 

mark: anytime <3

Chapter Text

jisung: guess who’s leaving school early bitches

 

lele: guess who’s also leaving school early bitches

 

mark: guess who’s supervising the bitches leaving school bitches

 

donghyuck: don’t rub it in

 

renjun: why where are u going

 

lele: TUX SHOPPING!!!! IM SO EXCITED

 

renjun: oh yeah

 

renjun: prom is right around the corner isnt it

 

jaemin: the passage of time is ass can prom just not happen

 

jeno: why :( it’s our last prom ever we gotta go crazy go stupid

 

jaemin: jeno i love u

 

jeno: ANYWAYS CHENLE TALK ABOUT TUX SHOPPING

 

lele: IM SO EXCITED TO SEE JISUNGIE DRESSED UP HES GONNA LOOK SO GOOD AND HANDSOME MY BEST BOY

 

jisung: ILL KILL U

 

lele: HE’S BUYING HAIR DYE WE BOTH ARE HESGONNA LOOK SO GOOOOOOOOOOD

 

mark: this is coming out of my retirement fund

 

jisung: what retirement fund you don’t even have enough money to pay for dinner

 

jaemin: OH . DAMN

 

jaemin: im broke but maybe if u took finance like me (painted nails emoji)

 

mark: I Have Trans Bills That Are Still Ongoing I Literally Have Two Dollars In My Wallet

 

jeno: F

 

donghyuck: F

 

donghyuck: daily reminder to everyone that mark is the bestest boy and i love him

 

mark: why are you being sappy on main

 

donghyuck: to validate you and ur boyness

 

mark: CRIES

 

mark: I HAVE BEEN OUT FOR YEARS I DONT NEED VALIDATION UNLESS I ASK FOR IT

 

mark: BUT I LOVE U

 

renjun: mark i wuv u

 

mark: didnt know you were capable of emotion

 

renjun: i’m not this is one of my weaker moments

 

lele: weaker moments my ass you’re a big sap

 

renjun: Perhaps.

 

renjun: shut up and go die of heat stroke in a wool suit

 

lele: that’s. very specific

 

renjun: my terms for your death are very specific i have hundreds of scenarios planned as well as backup plans

 

donghyuck: ATTENTION

 

mark: yes love

 

donghyuck: dont be domestic and gross im jeno i stole donghyucks phone because he wouldn’t go into his camera roll to get me the meme i needed

 

donghyuck: hes screamin at me i ran away and am hiding in the bathroom just for my meme

 

renjun: .

 

jaemin: ..

 

mark:

 

mark: JENO

 

mark: GIVE THE PHONE BACK

 

mark: GIVE DONGHYUCK HIS PHONE

 

donghyuck: NO!!!! THE MEME MARK

 

donghyuck: i’ll send it here actually give me a minute to find it

 

mark: jeno put the phone down

 

lele: what is happening ur a phone stealing advocate

 

mark: not right now

 

mark: fr jeno put it down

 

donghyuck: is there smth bad in his camera roll is that it

 

mark: yes exactly so give him his phone back

 

donghyuck: well now im just curious what is it

 

mark: uh its

 

renjun: NUDES ITS NUDES SO IF YOU DONT WANNA SEE DONGHYUCK TITTY GIVE HIM HIS PHONE BACK

 

mark: YEAH WHAT HE SAID

 

jaemin: ur trying so hard mark i appreciate you

 

jeno: i have seen donghyuck titty a thousand times over literally nothing can phase me

 

jeno: brb it’s gonna take a minute to get the meme bc i gotta scroll so far up

 

jaemin: JENO PUT IT DOWN

 

jeno: .

 

jeno: [image attached]

 

lele: is that.

 

jisung: Is That.

 

jeno has left the chat!

 

mark: goddamnit he found it

 

lele: care to explain

 

renjun: donghyuck saw me and jaemin kissing backstage during play practice so he took a picture for whatever reason

 

renjun: and jeno found it

 

jaemin: Ahaha This Is The Worst Day Of My Life

 

jisung: why the fuck were u kissing are u fake dating like renjun did w donghyuck

 

jaemin: oh fuck dude if im kissing renjun and renjun has kissed donghyuck then im indirectly kissing donghyuck

 

mark: lets NOT think about that

 

mark: lets think abt how yall just killed a man

 

mark: and how yall KNEW he was head over heels for you both

 

mark: i don’t want to get into this with you because quite frankly i’m not cleaning up your mess for you this time junnie but. could you have at least told him and let him down gently instead of letting him find out like that

 

jaemin: we were gonna ask him to prom

 

jaemin: we like him too :/

 

donghyuck: got my phone back bitches jeno just. left it in the bathroom stall idk where he went

 

donghyuck: what did i miss

 

donghyuck: OH.

 

renjun: yeah

 

renjun: uh

 

renjun: we’ll. be back eventually. gotta talk

 

renjun has left the chat!

 

jaemin: i was not alerted to this but aight

 

jaemin has left the chat!

 

-

 

private chat between renjun and jaemin!

 

renjun: so. like

 

renjun: what do we. what do we Do from here

 

jaemin: apologizing is just about the only thing we can do for him right now

 

renjun: no there’s no way he doesn’t hate me

 

renjun: that summer when he asked me out? remember donghyuck talking about that? 

 

jaemin: yeah

 

renjun: okay well he was really really really really Really vulnerable when he told me that he liked me (and had been trying to hide it for a long time before that) and when i told him i couldnt. like. Do relationships [insert gay hater syndrome here] he was crushed

 

renjun: literally crushed

 

renjun: no one could get him out of the house not even me and he wouldnt even talk to me

 

renjun: donghyuck told me he didn't wanna burden anyone with his feelings

 

renjun: hes.rly insecure u know that right

 

jaemin: yeah

 

renjun: when mark finally god fed up and locked us in a room together we argued it out and both said some things that we regret

 

renjun: he told me just how insecure he really is

 

renjun: and things just. haven’t really been the same between us since? he’s more reserved more quiet around me even if it doesn’t seem like it

 

renjun: but i still know the way he thinks and i know what’s going through his mind right now and it’s not pretty

 

jaemin: jun

 

renjun: i’ve strung him along for close to a year because i’m too afraid to let myself have something that will make me happy and im shit for it!!!! u dont have to tell me i know i’ve been really shitty to him and i feel awful for it

 

renjun: so if i apologize to him and he doesn’t accept then. i’m okay with that. i’m going to college soon enough anyways and he’ll never have to see me again if he doesn’t want to 

 

jaemin: we have the same friend group renjun you can’t avoid that

 

renjun: so i’ll leave you guys too

 

renjun: i would. literally kick and scream doing it but if it’ll make him feel better and if it’ll make him happy then i’ll do it

 

jaemin: and what about me

 

renjun: .

 

jaemin: on the off-chance that he wants you to leave were you really ready to just up and leave me

 

renjun: i figured u’d rather be with him than me yknow

 

renjun: it just makes more sense

 

jaemin: how

 

renjun: well. like. im the one who fucked up and none of this is your fault and you deserve a chance to be happy w/ him

 

renjun: it just makes sense

 

jaemin: junnie you’re fucking insane if you think i’d leave you for jeno

 

jaemin: ive been dating u for three days but if u broke up w me i would kill everyone adn then myself

 

renjun: shut the fuck up im abt to start crying on mfers

 

renjun: rn is not supposed to be Relationship Talks and Insecurity with Renmin its supposed to be We Fucked Up How Do We Fix It

 

jaemin: ur my priority right now

 

jaemin: and you need to know that no matter what happens with all this, of course i won’t leave you and go be with jeno

 

jaemin: if jeno wants to date us and decides to, great! awesome!!! im stoked!!!!! but if he doesn’t? i’m perfectly content staying with you

 

jaemin: i kissed u in that little backstage closet for a reason

 

renjun: oh really

 

renjun: thot u were “just hormonal”

 

jaemin: okay that too but shut up

 

jaemin: my point is i like u a whole lot more than you realize so sit down shut up and let’s figure out how to rope jeno into this hot mess

 

renjun: stop it im crying

 

jaemin: thats the goal babey!

 

renjun: WHY :(

 

jaemin: 1. any emotion u show is good because ur emotionally 4’3 (stunted ur emotionally stunted) and 2. now i get to come cuddle you and be a good bf and possibly feed u potato chips in bed question mark?

 

renjun: can they be cheetos

 

jaemin: picking up a bag of flamin hot cheetos just for u <3

 

renjun: god ur the best i l*ke u so much

 

jaemin: talk at me while im in line this gas station sucks ASS

 

jaemin: about what u think we shld do

 

renjun: so like. i was thinking the easiest way to do it would be to just. go over to his house and lay it all out for him

 

renjun: and tell him Everything. 

 

jaemin: what about his parents he isnt out to them is he

 

jaemin: wouldnt they hear us talking

 

renjun: they’re never home, it’s fine

 

jaemin: Well.

 

jaemin: is that ur only option?

 

renjun: that’s just about it

 

renjun: we could do the same thing but text him because we’re scaredy cats

 

renjun: one more thing

 

renjun: i’m at school where the fuck did u expect to cuddle

 

renjun: also why the fuck did u leave school >:/

 

jaemin: extremely bold of you to assume one of us isn’t staying over tonight. im big touch starved rn and also Boyfriend!!!!! uare my Boyfriend thats what we Do

 

renjun: :((((

 

renjun: so which would u rather do? visit him or text him

 

jaemin: i think we should. text and ask if we can visit and if we get an indication that yes its okay then we go over and apologize

 

renjun: and another thing

 

renjun: lets not run in here expecting him to either forgive us or jump into our arms and b like yea cool we’re all bfs now

 

renjun: i think i know this’ll end with him being. coldly neutral towards us for a long time

 

jaemin: yeah

 

jaemin: but let’s at least hope he forgives us, right? that’s what we’re looking for here. not for us to feel better by being forgiven and not for us to get another boyfriend

 

jaemin: we’re going because he needs to know that we’re sorry and that whatever hes feeling is 100% okay and we’re okay with however he wants to go on from this

 

jaemin: right?

 

renjun: right

 

jaemin: do you wanna text him or should i?

 

renjun: group chat

 

jaemin: right

 

-

 

jaemin has created a group chat!

 

jaemin has added renjun and jeno!

 

jaemin: jeno?

 

renjun: hey

 

renjun: its us

 

renjun: u know that obviously im being dumb and im nervous waitim rambling ill. shut up now

 

jaemin: we wanna talk

 

jaemin: we’ve got a lot to explain to u and we really want to do it in person

 

jaemin: is that okay?

 

jaemin: i can see you reading these jen

 

jaemin: oh my god u fucker u turned them off. evil

 

renjun: nono can u at least tell us whether we can come over tomorrow and explain everything? u can beat me up if u want to

 

jeno: im not gonna beat u up

 

renjun: u never said u didnt want to ;)

 

jaemin: but can we please come over

 

jaemin: we can bring dinner

 

jaemin: ur favorite? from the chicken and ramen place

 

jaemin: was that all ur gonna say to us today :(

 

jaemin: that’s ok

 

renjun: it’s alright if u don’t want to talk right now

 

renjun: can you turn on read receipts again if it’s alright for us to come over? if it’s not okay for us to come then u can leave the gc and we’ll be okay with that too

 

jaemin: thank you for turning them on nono 

 

jaemin: we’ll be over tomorrow sometime in the evening okay? don’t eat dinner we’ll bring you something good

 

jeno: okay

 

jeno: thank you

 

jeno has left the chat!

 

jaemin: HE SAID YES

 

renjun: STEP ONE COMPLETED IM LITERALLY SHAKIGN

 

jaemin: OKAY!!!!!!!! UR COMING OVER AFTER SCHOOL MY PARENTS ARE ON VACATION AND MY BROTHER IS IN THE DORMS

 

renjun: JAEMIN THAT SOUNDS SUS????

 

jaemin: OH MY GOD NO I DONT WANNA FUCK I MEAN WE CAN CUDDLE AND BITCH ABOUT THINGS AND PLAN WHAT WE’RE GONNA SAY TO JENO OUT LOUD

 

jaemin: INSTEAD OF THAT NORMAL WHISPER THING WE DO

 

renjun: FUCK ur family i hate the whisper thing

 

jaemin: noooo i like my brother :(

 

renjun: ok fuck ur family except yuta

 

jaemin: :]

 

jaemin: i’ll pick u up when school lets out and we can make out in the line to get out of the parking lot because the traffic ppl dont know what the fuck theyre doing

 

renjun: that is singlehandedly the best thing uve ever said to me. ur the boy of my dreams

 

jaemin: ur just saying that because my car has good mileage and u dont have to waste gas

 

renjun: PERHAPS.

 

renjun: i’ll see u after school <3

 

jaemin: <3

Chapter Text

donghyuck has added jaemin and renjun to the chat!

 

donghyuck: yall done moping yet?

 

renjun: Perhaps.

 

jaemin: we’re going over to jen’s tonight to lay everything out

 

donghyuck: maybe dont use the word lay when ur trying to talk abt someone u rly like

 

renjun: WHY WOULD U READ IT LIKE THAT DONGHYUCK. NO ONE READ IT LIKE THAT

 

donghyuck: JISUNG CORRUPTED ME

 

mark: JISUNG???

 

lele: /JISUNG???/

 

mark: JISUNG DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT A BOOB IS

 

jisung: whats a boob

 

mark: SEE

 

lele: jisung it’s a titty

 

jisung: OH!!!!

 

mark: .

 

mark: BYE

 

mark: glad ur working ur shit out though renmin

 

mark: can i call u renmin or are u a thing yet

 

jaemin: no we’re dating u can call us renmin

 

jisung: URDATING NGN NNNGNNN

 

jisung: URDATING 

 

lele: FAKE NEWSRENJUN DONEST HAVE FEELINGS

 

renjun: false!!!! i feel a lot of things

 

renjun: like hatred

 

renjun: specifically for u

 

jaemin: and love

 

jaemin: specifically for me

 

renjun: Perhaps. 

 

lele: HHHHHHHHHHHH UR REALLY DATING HUH

 

jaemin: hyuck u were right hes a bomb kisser 

 

renjun: don’t think i won’t leave this gc again

 

jaemin: <3

 

donghyuck: you two are disgusting

 

mark: donghyuck we were the exact same

 

lele: worse actually

 

lele: u know what u two sound like a married couple rn

 

lele: the kind that sighs at new couples and is like “ah young love” sit down youve been dating for like a couple of months

 

mark: IT’S ABOOUT THE MUTUAL PINING… THE PINING COUNTS…

 

jisung: why are u speaking in ao3 tags.

 

lele: why do you know ao3 tags.

 

jaemin: MARKSUNG PROBABLY STILL READ STAR WARS FANFIC

 

lele: jisung probably reads twilight fic because hes emo like that

 

lele: mark reads homestuck fic. not the actual thing. just homestuck fic

 

lele: i am in pain

 

mark: for your information i read atla fic because i like to hurt

 

donghyuck: what about korra

 

mark: I READ KORRA FIC TOO ITS MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FANDOM

 

mark: asami is why im bi

 

jaemin: felt that on a spiritual level

 

mark: don’t u have a jeno to apologize to

 

jaemin: BENICE TO ME IM VULNERABLE.

 

mark: sorry im still in jeno best friend mode

 

mark: i hope u both know i was ready to k word u yesterday

 

renjun: can u still kill me but not jaem

 

jaemin: HEY. NO. u kill both of us or neither of us

 

renjun: no babe u apologize to jeno for us and then u die and we can date in hell like we planned >:/

 

renjun: i seduced a demon hes waiting to buy us a house in the suburbs of hell

 

jaemin: we didnt plan this

 

jaemin: we never planned this

 

lele: are you saying no to ur demon sugar daddy

 

jisung: i would

 

mark: that’s because chenle buys u everything

 

mark: he bought ur prom stuff for u without batting an eye ur set for life asshole

 

renjun: THATS WHY JISUNGS SO MEAN TO CHENLE HE JUST WANTS THE MONEy

 

jisung: HEY. IM MEAN TO CHENLE REGARDLESS OF WHETHER WE’RE DATING

 

lele: YEAH TELL THEM

 

jisung: I LOVE HIM

 

lele: YEAH

 

jisung: LEAVE MY SUGAR BOYFRIEND OUT OF THIS

 

lele: YEAH!!!!

 

lele: WAIT

 

lele: NO!!!!!!!

 

lele: NOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

jisung: :]

 

jisung: anyways. renmin go get ur fucking boy stop being cowards

 

renjun: i am large afraid

 

jaemin: hes big scared

 

renjun: dont translate they know what i mean

 

lele: we dont actually i thought u were trying to tell me ur tall

 

jisung: youre so fucking stupid. i love you.

 

lele: HEY NOW. im stupid AND illiterate you know that

 

mark: ANYWAYS. jeno

 

jaemin: stop i just keened i miss him

 

renjun: why would u make me sad like thisi am feel Bad.

 

donghyuck: DESERVE.

 

renjun: I’M TRYING MY BEST YOU KNOW THAT!!!!!!

 

lele: vote to kick renmin until they apologize to jeno all in favor say i

 

donghyuck: i

 

mark: i

 

jisung: i

 

jaemin: i

 

renjun: JAEMIN

 

jaemin: SORRY WE NEED INCENTIVE

 

mark: bye <3

 

mark has kicked jaemin from the chat!

 

renjun: LEAVE ME

 

donghyuck: all good things must end

 

donghyuck has kicked renjun from the chat!

 

donghyuck: peace.

 

lele: dam i miss renjun 

 

lele: tell him i said that and you die

 

donghyuck: wouldn’t dream of it i never say anything nice to him

 

lele: Good.

 

lele: donghyuck will u bring me food

 

donghyuck: no

 

lele: but ur my favorite in this gc :(

 

jisung: we’re literally dating

 

lele: and? ur using me for my money get in line

 

lele: donghyuuuuuck :(

 

donghyuck: no bitch im at practice

 

lele: for What

 

donghyuck: ?????? THE MUSICAL????? THAT IM IN??????

 

lele: OH. THAT ONE. THE ONE THAT PREMIERS THIS WEEK. THE ONE THAT WE ALL HAVE OT GO TO . THE MUSICAL.

 

donghyuck: THE ONE THAT YOU’RE IN???? BECAUSE YOU’RE A FUCKING DANCER?????

 

lele: YEAH. THAT.

 

donghyuck: lele you’re so fucking stupid i love you

 


 

private chat between jaemin and jeno!

 

jaemin: hey nono! is it alright if renjun and i swing by in a little under half an hour with some dinner for you? just double checking

 

jeno: yeah

 

jaemin: okay cool!!!! we’ll be over in a bit we love u

 

jaemin has gone offline!

 

jeno: right

 

jeno: remind me why ur doing this again

 

jeno has gone offline!

 


 

jeno’s house is different than what he remembers. jaemin has been here once before, back when he was just barely friends with jeno, when donghyuck had asked him to drop off a hoodie that needed to be returned. when he tried to leave, jeno took his wrist and pulled him inside, promising to cook for him if jaemin stayed to watch cartoons with him.

 

the house is the same, but the inside is different, even through the window. the only thing that hasn’t changed is how empty it is.

 

jeno’s decorated since jaemin has last visited. there are fairy lights curled around the border of the windows, and he’s planted flowers outside. his car is still parked horribly, halfway between driveway and lawn, and jaemin wrinkles his nose in distaste as he pockets his car keys and reaches into the back seat to handle jeno’s food.

 

when he steps out of the car, renjun clicks his tongue loudly enough for him to freeze. “cane,” renjun says, arms folded and eyes narrowed. 

 

jaemin sighs. “i don’t need it today.” it’s a lie that renjun’s trained himself to see through ever since it was first told. he fixes jaemin with a glare as he gets out of the car and takes the bag of food from him, and jaemin opens up the back door to get his cane.

 

renjun smiles, offering his free hand to jaemin and squeezing it when they start to walk towards jeno’s front door.

 

“you ready?” 

 

jaemin kisses his teeth and looks up at the clouds in the sky. it’s going to rain soon, he figures, and he smiles thinly. he hopes it pours.

 

jaemin steps up onto the porch and closes his hand around the doorknob, muttering, “as ready as i’ll ever be,” before he pushes the door in.

 

jeno’s nowhere to be found, and there’s no immediate evidence of him being here, either. but when jaemin looks closer, he can see everything jeno’s left amiss since coming home; the wastebasket is piled high with tissues and candy wrappers, blankets are thrown across the back of the couch (even though they’re normally neatly folded and tucked into the little basket in jeno’s room), and there’s a chicken in the sink that’s been thawing for so long that it’s probably spoiled by now.

 

light peeks out from the crack under the bathroom door, and suddenly, the door swings open, and jaemin and renjun come face to face with jeno. jaemin sees immediately how he’s been doing.

 

his eyes are red, but not puffy, and the skin around his nose has been rubbed raw. his hair is disheveled, and his shirt is a day old, and when he smiles, it’s a shell of what jaemin usually receives. it’s weak, thin — something that jeno’s smile should never be, but not something that it hasn’t ever been.

 

“hey,” jeno says, his voice quiet and hoarse, and jaemin has to pretend he doesn’t see the way jeno reacts to them. he’s excited at first, maybe even hopeful, but he deflates, eyes softening, smile deteriorating. 

 

“hey,” jaemin says back, leaning his weight onto his cane. it’s suddenly a lot harder to hold himself up, and he doesn’t think it’s because of his joints this time.

 

renjun parrots him, holding up the bag of food and waving it. “hey, jen. we brought some food.”

 

jeno cracks a smile and takes the bag from him. “i’m not that hungry right now, but thank you. one sec.” he turns to retreat into the kitchen and set the bag in the fridge. 

 

in the meantime, renjun turns and shoots a kind of helpless look, one that’s easily readable as, ‘what do we do now?’

 

jaemin should have an answer for this, because he has an answer for everything, but right now, he’s at a loss. he doesn’t know. it’s a first, and he thinks bitterly that a lot of things like this will start and end with jeno.

 

“c’mon, let’s sit,” jeno says when he returns, beckoning them into the living room and sitting on the farthest cushions of the couch. jaemin sits at the opposite end, and renjun between them, pressed into jaemin’s side in an attempt to keep his distance from jeno.

 

jaemin licks the seam of his lips and focuses on the dull glare of the tv. it’s been paused on a frame of an anime character since they’d arrived, and jaemin finds himself mapping out the scenery in his mind to focus on doing anything but talk. finally, though, he can’t bear the silence anymore.

 

renjun had helped him plan out every facet of this conversation, every twist and turn, every unexpected interjection. so why is it so hard to remember the plan? why can’t he force the words out the way he’s done over the entire drive to jeno’s house?

 

finally, though, at a loss for the right words, jaemin purses his lips and folds his hands in his lap. “so.” 

 

“so,” jeno echoes. jaemin doesn’t look away from the tv; he’s sure that if he met jeno’s eyes, he wouldn’t be able to keep talking.

 

“we’re… god, how do i start this?” jaemin runs a hand through his hair, but still keeps his gaze focused straight ahead of him. “we’re really sorry. about everything.”

 

jeno doesn’t answer him.

 

renjun clears his throat. his hand finds jaemin’s leg and squeezes it so tightly that it’s sure to bruise, but it’s okay. in jaemin’s peripheral vision, he can see that renjun is brave enough to look jeno in the eyes while he speaks.

 

“did you know that we spent hours trying to come up with what we’d say to you, and now all that has gone down the drain?” renjun asks. “i thought i’d be fine. i figured it’d be totally okay for me to spout something that i’d rehearsed a thousand times because — because i still felt it, y’know, i’m not a robot, right? but i can’t do that right now. you deserve to hear everything. even the things i told myself i wouldn’t let you know. so i’m here to apologize, but i’m going to tell you everything. things that you already knew, and the things that i promised myself you’d never find out about.”

 

“okay,” jeno says. his voice is barely above a whisper. “so tell me.”

 

“when you asked me out, all that time ago,” renjun says, but swallows, his voice cracking when he next speaks. “you have no idea how badly i wanted to say yes. i’d wanted you to ask me that since i met you. but i was scared, because… i’m not sure i had a real reason. i was scared of myself, because i had never liked boys before that summer and because i had never liked anyone the way i liked you. 

 

“and i turned you down because i was scared. of everything. of hurting you with how much i hated myself for liking boys. i’m positive that no matter what i’d said that day, i would’ve hurt you either way.”

 

“i knew that,” jeno says. “i didn’t care.”

 

“you should have.”

 

“not when it was like that,” jeno says. “not when it was with you.”

 

renjun’s grip on jaemin’s thigh doesn’t ease. it tightens up somehow, and jaemin grits his teeth. 

 

“the thing i regret the most is turning you down,” renjun says. “it killed me to do it, and it kills me to think about it.”

 

jeno laughs. it’s not a laugh, though. it’s something weak, something hesitant. “i’d ask why you did it, because i know it runs deeper than what you just told me.”

 

renjun sighs. he nods. “things haven’t been the same since then, have they?”

 

“that’s on both of us, not just you.”

 

“but it’s my fault, and i’m sorry. i should've been honest with you about this from the start.”

 

jaemin bites down on his tongue. he’s an intruder in this conversation, and he has been since they first sat down, but he can’t bring himself to leave them alone, nor can he open his mouth and speak. he’s frozen, eyes fixed on the television, frown deep and unwavering.

 

“no sense in trying to make sense of old shit,” jeno says. he shifts, and the couch creaks beneath him. “jaemin,” he says, his voice loud enough to make jaemin jump. “tell me how you guys, uh — got together, i guess.”

 

“it was me,” renjun says quickly. “i—”

 

“jaemin,” jeno repeats. “c’mon, jaem, i don’t bite.”

 

tensely, jaemin tears his eyes away from the tv and meets jeno’s eyes for a second before his heart leaps into his throat and he’s forced to look away. “i’ve liked you since you made me sign up for the dance team. you know that, right?”

 

jeno hums.

 

“i knew i liked renjun during our first dance performance together, the one that we didn’t have any time to prepare for. i started entertaining the idea that maybe both of you liked me back, because you seemed to be hanging off me for whatever reason, and i loved it.”

 

“you were right.”

 

jaemin smiles wryly. “was i?” 

 

“you are right,” jeno says then, and jaemin takes in a sharp breath.

 

“the first time i kissed renjun, i pulled him into one of the backstage closets at the amphitheater and told him what i was gonna do. the first thing he asked—” he glances at renjun for a second, sees that the other’s gaze is fixed on the tv just as his own had been minutes before, and leaves him be. “—was ‘what about jeno,’ what about you, because we both knew there was something going on that we couldn’t understand. and i know none of us are stupid, we all saw everything, all the flirting and the times when we held hands for too long for it to just be a friend thing. and the diner on the day after we all stayed at chenle’s place, jeno. we saw.”

 

“that was when i admitted to myself that i liked both of you.” jeno’s arms are folded in his lap, and his voice is more hushed now than it’s been all evening. he runs a hand through his hair and laughs a little, averting his eyes when he next speaks. “that’s why i was all over you. and when donghyuck was cuddling renjun in the other booth, i’ve literally never been more jealous in my life.”

 

“we were gonna ask you to prom,” renjun blurts out, and the smile on jeno’s face freezes for a second — becomes something more forced than contagious — before it drops completely. “neither of us wanted to leave you out of… whatever this is. but we were scared. so we decided we’d ask you to go to prom with us, and then we could all be happy.”

 

jeno hums. “didn’t count on me stealing donghyuck’s phone.”

 

“didn’t count on donghyuck spying on us, either.”

 

“speaking of,” jeno breathes, his lips settling into a thin line, “i’m sorry about yesterday. that was a huge overreaction, and the whole thing was entirely on me.”

 

jaemin blinks. “what?”

 

“yesterday,” jeno says, folding his arms over each other and leaning back into the couch. “i shouldn’t have made such a big deal out of it. i don’t have any right to know what you guys get up to without me. you’re not obligated to tell me.”

 

“but we wanted to, that’s the thing.” renjun’s eyes are still trained on the tv. he won’t look anywhere but the point he’s fixated on. “we should’ve told you. we should’ve — y’know — included you.”

 

“i wish we had,” jaemin says, his mouth suddenly a lot drier and his throat now much tighter. 

 

“i wish you had, too,” jeno says, “but that’s okay. i’m fine, i’ll be fine, and you guys can just… yeah. it’s fine.”

 

his tone doesn’t sound dismissive, it sounds unsure, and jaemin frowns. renjun’s hand returns to gripping his knee, the hold tighter this time.  “are you saying it’s too late?” renjun asks. jaemin elbows him. they’d agreed not to do this, not to ask him unless everything was fine, but it’s not fine, it’s —

 

“that’s not what i’m saying at all,” jeno says, his voice halfway between breathless and throaty. it settles a weight onto jaemin’s tongue that keeps him quiet. “i figured it was too late for me, but… you have no idea how much i want to be with you. both of you.”

 

“s’not too late,” renjun says. “you can… whenever, jen, we don’t care. hell, jaemin and i started dating just a few days ago. this is a new thing for all of us.”

 

“but…” jeno’s fingers aren’t idle anymore. they’re quick to scratch at the loose threads of his jeans before they travel to the skin of his hands and picks at it. “i don’t wanna intrude. you’re good together.”

 

“we’re better with you,” jaemin says, the weight on his tongue lightening just enough. “we can wait, if you’re not ready. and if you never are ready, that’s okay, too. but don’t think you’re intruding. we want to be with you so bad, and we can wait as long as you need if you need time.”

 

“and we’re sorry,” renjun says quickly. 

 

jeno swallows. he nods in time with the bob of his adam’s apple. “okay,” he breathes.

 

“so,” jaemin says, relaxing back into the couch cushion. it’s done, it’s over, it’s all out in the open now, and jeno can have what he wants with it. jaemin is weak to his whim. “what say you?”

 

jeno finishes fidgeting with one last scratch against his wrist before his hands fall limp against his thighs. “i’m ready,” he says. “i wanna be with you guys.”

 

“no shit,” renjun breathes, and suddenly his hand retreats from jaemin’s leg, and so does the rest of him. he moves to where he’s hovering over jeno, now, and the room’s air is thicker, tenser. “can i?”

 

jaemin can see jeno’s nod just over the outline of renjun’s shoulder. he watches as renjun leans down and uses his free hand to push jeno’s hair out of his eyes. 

 

in his dreams — in his imagination, where this has happened too many times for it to be coming true now — he’s always woken up jealous with an unfamiliar taste on his tongue. now, though, he feels nothing but dizzy watching renjun spoil jeno like this. he’d never gotten this treatment from renjun, and that’s okay, because this is different. he’s never gotten renjun’s hand carding through his hair, or soft words murmured to him, or (heaven forbid) a thumb brushing along his bottom lip. and that’s okay.

 

and when renjun finally starts to lean down, jaemin’s head spins, and jeno looks more content than he has in his life. he’s not even been kissed yet, and he looks like he’s on cloud nine.

 

distantly, keys clack against each other, and jaemin recognizes the familiar sound of a door being unlocked before jeno even thinks to react. “your parents,” jaemin says, and jeno jumps up, pushing renjun back as gently as he can.


“you need to leave,” he says, picking up jaemin’s cane and pressing it into his hand, taking renjun’s wrist and dragging him across the room, jaemin close behind them. “back door. hurry.”

 

“jeno, what—” 

 

“—it’s better if they don’t know,” jeno says, voice hushed as a door opens and closes a few rooms over. he opens the back door and its screen and holds it out for jaemin and renjun. “you parked on the curb, right? not in the driveway?”

 

jaemin nods. jeno relaxes, breathing out a sigh of relief. “i’ll text you?” he asks hopefully, eyes wide. jaemin melts.

 

“f’course, jen,” he says, casting back a wide smile before he turns and walks back with renjun towards his car. his next words are hushed to keep jeno from hearing. “that went better than i thought it would.”

 

“way better,” renjun breathes, still smiling. his grin fades, though, replaced by something that’s half-pout, half frown. “i wish one of us would’ve at least gotten to kiss him, though.”

 

jaemin hums. “not just you?”

 

“you get a fair pass at him, too. i’m not a monster. i know you were internally combusting the whole time.”

 

“wanna bet on who’ll get to kiss him first?”

 

“twenty bucks.”

 

“deal.” jaemin turns to look back at jeno, who’s still watching them as they walk, and calls over his shoulder: “jeno!”

 

he leans his cane against renjun’s legs and breaks into a dash towards jeno’s back porch, jeno still standing confused as jaemin runs towards him. his knees are already hurting, but he beams and spreads his arms, and the returned grin from jeno makes the pain a little more bearable.

 

when they finally collide, jeno’s arms wrap tightly around him, locked at the small of his back. jaemin’s chin is settled into the junction between jeno’s neck and shoulder, and when he pulls away, he can’t keep his hand from retreating from around jeno’s waist. it finds its way onto the curve of jeno’s jaw, waiting, drumming its fingers against the jawline in anticipation.

 

“gonna kiss you now,” jaemin says, breathless, and jeno nods, his lips just barely parted and his eyes wide.

 

that’s all it takes. he breathes in, closes his eyes, and kisses jeno, and immediately, jeno relaxes into him.

 

jeno’s a soft kisser — hesitant, almost — but jaemin likes it. his lips are rough and chapped, and jaemin thinks with a pout that maybe renjun had been onto something when he’d told the both of them to invest in chapstick. jeno’s hands are idle, but when jaemin pulls away, they come up to his neck and settle there, waiting. “s’that it?”

 

jaemin grins and kisses the corner of jeno’s mouth. just the once, just so he doesn’t forget. “just until next time. but it’s jun’s turn then.” 

 

jeno nods and grins. “i’ve gotta—” 

 

“go,” jaemin says, pulling his arms from around jeno. his hands catch against jeno’s for just a moment, just a split second, and jaemin can already feel his heart beating fast again. jeno doesn’t seem to notice, though, turning to go back inside.

 

jeno doesn’t turn to wave goodbye before the screen door clicks shut behind him. jaemin’s glad, because if he had, he’s sure he would’ve fainted by now.

 

renjun’s at his side in an instant, taking jaemin’s hand and guiding it to curl around the handle of the cane. “thought you weren’t supposed to run,” renjun huffs, kissing his  cheek before they begin their walk again.

 

“i’ll be fine. it’s good for me every once in a while.” he turns to grin at renjun, nudging him with his elbow. “besides, now you owe me money.”

 

“i’m paying you in the form of minutes you’re allowed to kiss me today,” renjun says, and jaemin squawks indignantly, batting his shoulder. “you’ve got twenty minutes.”

 

jaemin opens the door of his car and collapses into the driver’s seat. renjun is next to him in just a few minutes, and jaemin slumps against his seat, leaning his head on renjun’s shoulder. “you’re so mean to me.”

 

renjun rolls his eyes and pulls jaemin up by his collar to make him drive. when they’re finally on the road, they stop at a red light, and renjun taps jaemin’s jaw to get his attention before kissing him. jaemin pulls away with a huff, turning his attention back onto the road. “that’d better not count on the timer.”

 

renjun laughs. “it did,” he says, beaming. jaemin’s frown deepens impossibly. “hey, i’ll void the timer if you feed me hot cheetos and cuddle with me.”

 

“always with the hot cheetos,” jaemin grumbles. “sure, junnie, i’ll be your personal servant.”

 

renjun swats his arm, but his smile doesn’t waver. “thank you. it’s about time you owned up to it.”

 


 

hours later, jaemin’s lying on his back, his extended arm cushioning renjun’s head as the older’s eyes droop. the only thing that’s keeping him awake is the prospect of even more hot cheetos, and he’s too tired to even wipe off the ring of orange around his mouth.

 

“hey, minnie,” renjun says, voice croaky and hoarse. jaemin taps his mouth with another cheeto, and he obliges. he takes a minute to chew and swallow before speaking again. “how fucked is it that we’re dating jeno now?”

 

jaemin grins. “fucked,” he says, laughing a little, and renjun pulls out his phone to take a picture of them together to send to jeno.

 

jaemin doesn’t have any say in how tired he looks before renjun sends the photo and types out a quick caption: ‘gn baby we love u <3’

 

“baby,” jaemin echoes, eyebrows raised as he closes the bag of cheetos and sets it on his nightstand. “that’s new.”

 

“m’trying it out. i wanna embarrass him.”

 

“okay, whatever you say, baby.” jaemin grins and wets his thumb, wiping at the ring around renjun’s mouth. 

 

“you are not allowed to call me that,” renjun says, snapping at jaemin’s thumb so that it’s now fit between his top and bottom teeth. he bites down experimentally, and jaemin’s hand retracts, curling back to flick his forehead. “ow. bitch.”

 

“you bit me,” jaemin says, exasperated as he settles into the bed and pulls renjun down with him. “christ, just go to sleep. i love you.”

 

“you—” renjun sits up. “you what?!”

 

“not like that, dumbass, not yet,” jaemin sighs. he pulls renjun back down onto the bed and wraps an arm around his waist. “go. to. sleep.”

 

renjun huffs. “one of these days, you’re gonna wake up on the floor. night, minnie, i hate you.”

 

“i hate you more.”

 

“i hate you most,” renjun says. he hums when jaemin presses a kiss to the nape of his neck, but doesn’t say anything else, falling limp into jaemin’s hold just a few minutes later.

 

jaemin falls asleep smiling, and he wakes up late in the afternoon, still curled around renjun with a hint of a smile tugging at his lips the minute he wakes up and remembers where he is. he takes a deep breath, smiles, and lets his head hit the pillow again, allowing himself to spend more time like this. he deserves it.

 

head fuzzy, he tightens his hold on renjun and pulls himself closer to him. in the warmth of the lazy sun, huddled in his bed with renjun, jaemin decides with complete certainty that of all the possible outcomes, this is the best one.

 

Chapter Text

donghyuck has added renjun, jaemin, and jeno to the chat! 

 

donghyuck: oops

 

renjun: ur not about to tell me you forgot to add us back to the chat after like five days. i know ur not about to tell me that

 

donghyuck: :>

 

jeno: DUDE.

 

lele: OH JENO

 

lele: HEY

 

jeno: HI???

 

lele: im just sitting here waiting for the updates are yallfucking dating or not.

 

jeno: are we d

 

jeno: jaemin are we dating

 

jaemin: yes stupid

 

jeno: OK DONT CALL ME THAT WE NEVER SPECIFIED!!!

 

jaemin: you LITERALLY said you wanted to be with us homie what else would we be

 

jeno: IDK HOMIE UH??? FRIENDS WHO MAKE OUT SOMETIMES AND ALSO ARE GAY

 

renjun: that’s the tamest way i’ve ever heard anyone say fwb

 

jeno: WEARE NOT FRIENDS WITH BENENF IT.S.

 

jaemin: well if we’re not dating and we make out sometimes and are also gay then what are we

 

jeno: I TAKE IT BACK. CHENLE WE’RE DATING. IM LEAVING THIS GC

 

mark: hold on

 

mark: if yall see each other at school every day then how the fuck have you not asked this before chenle

 

lele: idk it was a forbidden topic

 

lele: tried to ask them once and donghyuck slapped his hand over my mouth

 

donghyuck: i told u theyd tell us on their own time >:( and now u rushed them look

 

renjun: donghyuck if chenle hadnt asked we literally wouldve 1. never clarified to jeno that were dating 2. told u guys we were dating in the first place

 

renjun: so thanks chenle!!

 

jisung: how do i have more emotional intelligence than all three of you

 

lele: one time i was crying over midterms and u asked me to guess what your mom was making for dinner because it was “fire as hell”

 

lele: it was fried chicken

 

jisung: imply fried chicken isn’t fire as hell again and you won’t have a boyfriend anymore

 

lele: :(

 


 

private chat between lele and jisung!

 

lele: i thought we werent using that word

 

jisung: the b word?

 

lele: yeah

 

jisung: idkkkk it just came out i’m still getting used to trying things out

 

lele: ok! that’s fine i was just checking

 

jisung: bruh u know when u say a word that hits different and it keeps repeating in ur head yeah thats happening rn and im Not feeling it!!!!! Very Not Feeling It!!!!

 

lele: baby :(( do you wanna get some air?

 

jisung: yeah but donghyuck doesnt want us to leave the room

 

lele: he’ll be fine we have the entire rest of the day to practice

 

lele: besides, we’re still on break

 

lele: and if he says anything i’ll castrate him

 

jisung: ok stepping back i see that ur threats are fucking terrifying when they’re not directed at me

 

lele: that’s because i save the good ones for u

 

lele: ur my b word

 

jisung: we said we AREN’T using that word

 

lele: my Bitch

 

jisung: oh

 

jisung: :(((( i love u

 

lele: jisung that’s not romantic in the slightest

 

jisung: i :((( love :((((( u :(

 

lele: god

 

lele: i love you too supreme dork let’s go take a damn walk before it’s too late

 


 

 

mark: the hell are yall doing texting in class

 

jeno: calm down i pulled some strings to get the dance team out of all of our classes so that we can rehearse before the show tonight

 

mark: right that’s tonight

 

donghyuck: you FORGOT?

 

mark: NO i had it marked in my calendar but time doesn’t exist and also there is a Lot going on today

 

donghyuck: sounds to me like you FORGOT

 

mark: hyuck i Will be there i promise

 

mark: wouldnt miss it for the world

 

donghyuck: shut the fuck up i’m gonna cry fuck you

 

mark: u signed up for this

 

donghyuck: no i signed up for CUDDLES not my stupid boyfriend making me cry 

 

mark: u literally never want to cuddle

donghyuck: i have to be in the Mood and then i can’t be the little spoon

 

lele: literally why

 

donghyuck: have u seen mark’s ass. that is Prime little spoon material

 

mark: i advise you to stop talking

 

donghyuck: no

 

jaemin: he has a point mark

 

donghyuck: eyes to yourself perv

 

jaemin: YOU LITERALLY ASKED US IF WE’D SEEN MARK’S ASS???

 

donghyuck: then surely uve seen the label that says property of lee donghyuck

 

mark: IMGONWMA KILL YOU

 

donghyuck: mark double cheeked up on a friday afternoon

 

mark: ATOP TALKING I AM [REDACTED]

 

renjun: dude that better not say what i think it says

 

mark: too bad ull never find out

 

jeno: it’s ok i speak mark

 


 

private chat between jeno and donghyuck!

 

jeno: he feels dysphoric 

 

donghyuck: oh FUCK

 


 

 

 

donghyuck: break for lunch guys

 

jaemin: we’re literally still on a 15 minute break

 

donghyuck: ok and im gonna go see mark

 

mark: why

 

donghyuck: because i can

 

mark: am i allowed to say fuck u i love u

 

donghyuck: yes

 

mark: fuck u i love u. 

 

donghyuck: :]

 

jeno: so until further notice we just. do not have donghyuck 

 

donghyuck: practice like u normally would ill be back eventually 

 

mark: all of that hinges on me not being in class 

 

donghyuck: i have your schedule memorized you don’t have class today

 

mark: what the hell im gonna cry

 

mark: don’t come over i’m ugly crying into my pillow

 

donghyuck: ok but consider i’m your pillow now

 

renjun: YALL ARE. GAY. 

 

jaemin: renjun jeno why don’t u act like that with me when i’m sad 

 

jeno: we have been dating for the better part of a week

 

renjun: i have no emotions 

 

jaemin: both valid points. renjun one day i’ll make u emote

 

renjun: we’ll see

 

jaemin: hey while yall here have u gotten ur prom stuff yet

 

donghyuck: oh dude i still need to fill out the forms to get mark to be able to take me since he doesn’t go to our school anymore

 

mark: i know it’s a requirement but they should REMEMBER me my name should be VOIDED

 

jeno: ok mr student body president

 

mark: HEY i was the best damn rags to riches story this high school has ever seen

 

donghyuck: literally how

 

mark: unpopular girl who transitioned to popular boy

 

renjun: oh tea

 

jeno: TEA THATS MY BEST FRIEND

 

mark: serene emoji

 

jaemin: none of u answered my QUESTION

 

lele: i’ve got my tux and jisung has prom stuff

 

jisung: i do indeed have prom stuff

 

renjun: u mean a tux

 

jisung: Prom Stuff

 

jeno: is a tux not Prom Stuff

 

mark: in this house we wear Prom Stuff.

 


 

private chat between jisung and mark!

 

jisung: Haha Im Fucked

 

mark: hush you’re fine

 

jisung: no i shouldve gotten smth normal i was right this is stupid

 

mark: nothing about this is stupid

 

mark: if you really want it then taeyong has his old tux

 

jisung: won’t fit will it

 

mark: you’re about the same size as he was when he wore it

 

jisung: alright

 

mark: i love you ok 

 

mark: i’ll see you tonight!!! wanna go for dinner after the show if ur feeling up to it?

 

jisung: that sounds nice im down

 

mark: alright i’ll see u then

 

mark: be watching for your roses

 

jisung: oh u are NOT getting me flowers 

 

mark: one bouquet for u and hyuck :]

 

jisung: i hate you

 

mark: love u too <3

 


 

donghyuck: ANYWAYS. mark and i got matching dress shirts for prom

 

mark: we cute wtv

 

jaemin: boyfriends we need tuxes

 

jeno: can we wear dress shirts and slacks 

 

jeno: tuxes are too stuffy

 

renjun: I AGREE

 

jaemin: OH CUTE can we all match though

 

donghyuck: WHY ARE YOU STEALINF OUR IDEA

 

jaemin: YOU DON’T OWN THE IDEA OF MATCHING PROM FITS????

 

donghyuck: OK AND?

 

donghyuck: ILL BREAK YOU ALL UP ON PURPOSE

 

jeno: thats illegal

 

renjun: i’ll kill mark

 

jeno: like HELL you will

 

donghyuck: LIKE HELL YOU WILL RENJUN ILL KILL JAEMIN

 

renjun: FINE I DONT EMOTE

 

jaemin: YOU NEARLY CRIED WHEN WE CONFESSED TO JENO THATS A LIE

 

renjun: WHATEVER NO ONE’S KILLING ANYONE WE’RE ALL COMING BACK TO PRACTICE NOW

 

donghyuck: have fun losers i just paid too much for parking and now im gonna *hits the woah* cuddle my boyfriend

 

mark: oh my god

 

renjun: be back by like. call time. obviously

 

donghyuck: Obviously

 

donghyuck: also come find me backstage because ill be panicking

 

jeno: bye bitchboy

 

donghyuck: eat shit bottomfeeder

 


 

donghyuck: im backstage whores anyone wanna come shout at me

 

renjun: oh me ill b there in a minute

 

donghyuck: anyone wanna tell mark to go get food and come back because the show doesnt start for a literal hour

 

mark: nope!

 

mark: besides ive got dinner with sungie after the show

 

mark: and also you took your car keys

 

donghyuck: sucks for you i’m getting my makeup done

 

jeno: your stylist is going to kill you

 

donghyuck: her name is seulgi and i would let her

 

mark: oh i know her shes in my psych class

 

donghyuck: all the stylists here are so pretty and sweet [puppy dog eyes emoji] i love them

 

donghyuck: might turn straight for yerim sorry mark

 

mark: ohgmarnfbnn i had the biggest crush on her before i met u 

 

jisung: OH THE GIRL YOU OFFERED TO DETRANSITION FOR

 

mark: SHES A LESBIAN AND I WAS WHIPPED

 

jeno: IM GONNA CRY 

 

donghyuck: I ASKED IF SHE REMEMBERS YOU AND SHE DOES SHE SAID SHE HOPES U FOUND SOMEONE

 

donghyuck: WHEN I TOLD HER WE WERE DATING SHE WENT :O

 

mark: YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO BRING ME UP

 

mark: I HATE U!!!

 

mark: YOU OWE ME MONEY

 

donghyuck: oops sound check gotta go byeeee <3

 

lele: sound check is literally half an hour away but ok donghyuck. ok

 

donghyuck: for real tho i do have warmups so i’ll see u idiots (mark. just mark) after the show i love you guys <3 cant wait to see the rest of u on stage

 

donghyuck: oh never mind i am Not feeling the fact that i gotta go up there and do things

 

jaemin: HEY. hype yourself up right the fuck now

 

donghyuck: no

 

jaemin: YOU are lee donghyuck

 

donghyuck: unfortunately yes

 

mark: and lee donghyuck is THE most talented badass bitch in the entire fucking world

 

donghyuck: no

 

jaemin: donghyuck say the thing

 

donghyuck: NO

 

renjun: which thing he says a lot of things

 

jaemin: back before i met yall hyuck would get really nervous a lot and whenever that happened i would make him dance to godawful pop music for me because something about it hypes u the fuck up no matter who you are

 

jaemin: it evolved into me just making donghyuck hyping himself up with raps

 

jaemin: so donghyuck if u will

 

donghyuck: NO

 

mark: im giving you permission to rap cardi

 

donghyuck: why would i rap a transphobes lyrics

 

mark: because im giving u permission

 

donghyuck: im sorry i prefer Nan bichi na bichi na bichi na

 

jaemin: can your pea brain go two seconds without loving yeeun

 

donghyuck: absolutely not thanks for asking :)

 

donghyuck: ok fr now BYE if i die tell park chaeyoung i love her

 

jeno: bye hyuckie good luck <3

 

jeno: speaking of. everyone excluding mark we should get backstage for costumes let’s go

 

jisung: ok :(

 

renjun: don’t be sad it’s high school musical

 

jeno: that reminds me. what team

 

lele: WILDCATS

 

jeno: I SAID WHAT TEAM

 

jaemin: WILDCATS

 

jeno: W H A T  T E A M

 

jisung: WILDCATS

 

jeno: WILDCATS

 

jaemin: GETYOUR HEAD IN THE GAME

 

mark: i hope you all fall onstage. goodnight

 

jeno: bye mark wish us luck <3

 

mark: …… good luck but i still hope you fall and break your noses

 

renjun: :D

 


 

 

mark: okay show’s over and i am fucking crying but. waiting out by donghyuck’s car when u guys get out of the school

 

donghyuck: hrnnmmngh

 

mark: you sounded FUCKING great there are literal tears still streaming down my face i can’t believe you’ve never let me hear you sing before what the hell

 

donghyuck: HMGN HNGHH

 

lele: we’ll be out in a minute!!!!! jisung is trying to get himself together after u threw him his rose

 


 

private chat between jisung and lele!

 

jisung: careful

 

lele: RIGHT. sorry

 


 

lele: anyways jisung is very sad 

 

lele: we’ll all come see u soon idk about hyuck though

 

mark: hows jisung

 

lele: jisung. is going through it. jisung won’t listen to me when i tell jisung that its ok so the two of us are just sitting here while i comfort jisung

 

jeno: why. are you talking like that

 

lele: no reason

 


 

private chat between jisung and lele!

 

jisung: STOP TALKING LIKE THAT JUST GO BACK TO NORMAL

 

lele: NO IT MAKES YOU FEEL BAD IF I DONT

 

jisung: OK BUT IT’S ALSO WEIRD TO HEAR MY NAME EVERY THREE SECONDS JUST. SAY                               . OH

 

lele: SAY???

 

jisung: uh. say he

 

jisung: i just figured it out though so . it’s temporary but say he

 

lele: alright i love you <3

 


 

donghyuck: mark im missing the cast party for You id better be getting smooches

 

renjun: can you not be disgusting in public for once

 

donghyuck: reminder that you, too, can be disgusting. twice as disgusting actually because you have twice the boyfriend

 

renjun: yeah but we have a group chat for that

 

lele: I WOULD LIKE TO SEE IT

 

renjun: no it’s just jaemin being soft and sending gm and gn texts that never get answered

 

jaemin: because you both hate me

 

jeno: because you go to sleep and wake up at ungodly hours and by the time we see the texts it’s too late to text back

 

jaemin: fair…. fair…

 

mark: ANYWAYS. dinner?

 

jisung: i know we had plans but im down if everyone else is down

 

jaemin: omg

 

jaemin: one last group dinner with 00line as high schoolers

 

jaemin: and then we all come to marks supposedly gay college

 

mark: i forgot yall got in i really did

 

jaemin: RUDE.

 

jaemin: anyways. one last dinner?

 

donghyuck: yes!!! where are we eating

 

jeno: MCDONALDS

 

renjun: YES. I WANT FRAMCH FRY

 

jaemin: then framch fry you shall get 

 

mark: dinner (cool emoji) is for (swole emoji) the boys (cowboy emoji)

 

jisung: have you considered how much of a time saver it would be if we just used the emojis instead of typing out (___ emoji)

 

mark: it’s about the COMEDY

 

jisung: no. disowned. im walking to get ice cream none of you can stop me

 

lele: you can get a mcflurry if you come with us to mcdonalds

 

jisung: shit.

 

jisung: have changed my mind. mcflurry time

 

donghyuck: i don’t have enough room in my car for seven of you i can seat five

 

jaemin: jeno can ride in the trunk and chenle rides on the roof

 

lele: just like god intended

 

donghyuck: whatever mark is driving so if we get pulled over he loses his license not me

 

mark: meet me in the parking lot u losers its mcflurry time!!!!!!!

 

jeno: watch the machine break

 

mark: DONT JINX IT

 

mark: just. i hate you all. come out here im leaving so i dont have to hear ur awful conversations anymore

 

mark has left the chat!

 

jaemin: anyone wanna stay for a few more minutes and pretend we couldnt find him just to piss him off?

 

donghyuck: absolutely. let’s do it babey 

 

renjun: :D

 

Chapter Text

jisung: thinking about that bomb ass mcflurry

 

jisung: and the fact that prom is today. what the fuck.

 

donghyuck: don’t talk to me i’m getting my makeup done

 

mark: u can talk to me sung

 

jisung: no donghyuck has made it abundantly clear that he hates me. ill be going

 

renjun: [he hastily shoves breadsticks into his purse]

 


 

private chat between jisung and lele!

 

jisung: actually a purse would be cute

 

lele: you are fucking insufferable

 

jisung: i’m EXPLORING THE REALM OF POSSIBILITY will you let me EXPRESS MYSELF

 

lele: i will but not through the $3000 gucci handbag you just asked for via paypal

 

jisung: if you’re not my sugar bf then what’s the point

 

lele: find a new prom date im sure jaemin would take u in im THROUGH

 

jisung: FUCKER

 


 

jisung: ANYWAYS. 

 

jisung: are we just meeting at the venue or 

 

lele: yeah im picking you up in a limo

 

jisung: what hte fuck. you’re like one of the white boys

 

jaemin: omg can we come in the limo all we have is… whose car is the best

 

renjun: well mine’s actually clean so.

 

jeno: Hey. low blow

 

mark: best car gang

 

donghyuck: you’re one to talk you drive a 2008 prius that’s gotten three different mice stuck inside of it on three separate occasions

 

mark: well at least i dont drive my moms old van

 

jisung: STOP SAYING CAR BREEDS I NEVER LEARNED THEM AND I DONT FEEL VERY INCLUDED

 

mark: everyone freak jisung out with car models. ill start. tahoe

 

lele: lamborghini 

 

mark: that’s a brand

 

jeno: rigatoni

 

lele: Hamberger.

 

jeno: bolognese

 

jaemin: MAC AND CHEESe

 

jisung: :(((( ur Messing with me :((((((((((((

 

lele: you’re all cancelled. dont talk to me or my jisung ever again

 


 

private chat between jisung and lele!

 

jisung: your jisung

 

jisung: smooth

 

jisung: but also it was kinda cute

 

lele: don’t wanna give away the surprise!!!

 

jisung: but also you took part in the jisung bullying which means you’re exiled too

 

lele: NOOOO

 

jisung: <3

 


 

jeno: jisung can u even drive

 

jisung: no mark told me not to get a license

 

mark: i want to be the only one in the family who can drive

 

jisung: YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL FAMILY

 

mark: HEY UNCALLED FOR

 

jaemin: why can’t taeyong drive

 

mark: because he’s gay? the fuck kind of question

 

donghyuck: skewed evidence i can drive and i’m gay

 

mark: yeah in your soccer mom van

 

donghyuck: STOP MAKING FUN OF MY CAR YOU HAVENT CLEANED YOURS SINCE YOU GRADUATED

 

mark: MINE DOESNT HAVE A TAIL LIGHT HANGING OUT OF ITS SOCKET

 

jisung: I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT’S HAPPENING CAN WE GO BACK TO THE PROBLEM AT HAND

 

mark: YEAH LETS. DO THAT

 

mark: I’LL PICK YOU UP HYUCK

 

renjun: i guess im taking the idiots

 

jeno: we’re Your idiots <3

 

jaemin: i’m he’s ^___^

 

renjun: never mind you can stay at home

 

jaemin: fine i wont miss u . Btitch.

 

renjun: good riddance

 

renjun: fr though it starts at 7 ill pick you up at 6:30?

 

jaemin: thats so far awaaaay

 

renjun: that’s. literally an hour

 

jaemin: have adhddddddd

 

renjun: fair

 

lele: ONE HOUR UNTIL JISUNG 

 

donghyuck: jisung what

 

donghyuck: jisung does a lot of things

 

lele: Oh U Know ;)

 

renjun: NO WE REALLY DONT CHENLE YOU TWO HAVE BEEN NEEDLESSLY OMINOUS ABOUT PROM FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS!!!!

 

lele: Oh U’ll See ;)

 

jisung: nervous wheezing noises

 

mark: jisung a babey we love jisung

 

jisung: even more nervous wheezing noises

 

jisung: ANYWAYS. im gonna go get ready ill see you bitches in. uh. time

 

jaemin: do a full face

 

jisung: that is the plan yes

 

renjun: WHAT!!!!!!!!!

 

jisung: :]

 

jisung has left the chat!

 


 

the first thing mark notices when he steps out of the car is that as many times as he’s attended things like these, it will always feel like his first prom — his first dance, even, and suddenly, he feels too small for his suit, too dainty, too feminine to even be seen here. it’s like his first day at university, and his voice is still too high, his face too round, his hair too long.

 

the car door on donghyuck’s side slams shut, and in a few seconds, donghyuck’s hand is safe in his. he nudges mark’s side. “you good?”

 

mark hums and pushes his dysphoria to the back of his mind as best as he can manage. it’s easier than it usually is than when he’s alone. “i’m excited.”

 

“yeah? what for?”

 

“for sungie!” mark pulls donghyuck toward the venue. “c’mon. let’s wait for everyone.”

 

they climb the stairs and wait at the doorway. someone bats mark’s shoulder to say hello as they lean against the brick wall. mark doesn’t remember her name, but he remembers that he’d taken chemistry with her, and that she’d sat next to him when no one else would, and that she always corrected the teacher when mark was deadnamed. he grins and pulls her into a hug.

 

“are you doing better now?” she pulls away, her eyes bright, and for once in his life, mark doesn’t have an immediate answer.

 

mark glances back at donghyuck, and then at the trio that’s ascending the stone stairs. he thinks back to all the times he’s felt comfortable in his own skin, felt a fleeting moment of contentment in himself, and nods. “i’m doing great,” he says, and just like that, he feels that same sense of happiness settle into him. there is no more dysphoria, only the confirmation that everything is as it should be. “i really am.”

 

“that’s great, i’m glad. donghyuck never shuts up when he worries about you all alone at college.”

 

“eunbin, shut up,” donghyuck hisses. 

 

“yeah? what’re you gonna do?”

 

donghyuck reaches out towards eunbin, who takes a step back. “i’ll strangle you—” 

 

“—eunbin, i’ve been waiting for too long—” a girl’s voice rings out from inside the venue, and eunbin startles.

 

she glances over her shoulder before smiling apologetically at mark and donghyuck. “sorry, i’ve gotta go.” she takes off in the other direction, scrambling towards the door with a grin on her face.

 

“nice seeing you—!” mark calls after her, but it’s lost in the wind.

 

a hand falls onto his shoulder. mark swears and jumps backward into the wall, a hand over his heart and his eyes wide. jaemin cackles. 

 

“you ruined him,” donghyuck says, nudging jaemin’s ankle with the toe of his shoe. “look at him.”

 

“touch my ankle again,” jaemin says, lips pursed and eyes testing as he raises his cane and pushes it in donghyuck’s general direction.

 

jeno rolls his eyes and pulls mark aside. “you look nice,” he says. “you excited for your last prom ever?”

 

“that was last year’s prom.”

 

“well, yeah, but donghyuck’s graduating. you can’t come as his date next year because he’ll be at school with you.”

 

“fair enough. but i’m—”

 

he doesn’t have the mind to keep talking, not when a limousine pulls up to the curb and stops. through the tinted window, mark sees two figures, and they exit on the side facing away from the building. chenle steps out of the car, runs a hand through his hair, and grins up at mark from the ground before helping jisung onto his feet. at first, all mark can see is the top of jisung’s head and his hair, which is dyed a dusty rose that fits him well. but when they walk around the back of the car and step onto the concrete, mark’s jaw drops.

 

jisung’s dress is gorgeous.

 

jaemin makes a noise beside him, and donghyuck’s hand is on his mouth, and renjun is grinning like a madman. mark doesn’t even have to turn to know jeno’s probably already in tears. mark elbows him, just in case he really is crying.

 

as chenle and jisung move up the stairs, mark takes in every part of jisung’s attire. his dress is floor-length and flutters out from his waist, the fabric thin and velvety. it’s a shade of navy that goes well with jisung’s eyes (and with chenle’s tie), and his makeup is done to complement it.

 

“jisung, you look amazing,” jeno says, awed. jisung turns pink.

 

“you really think so?”

 

chenle’s hand finds its way into jisung’s and squeezes. “dunno about y’all, but i know so,” he says, pulling jisung towards the door. “come on, let’s go! we’re gonna miss all the snacks!”

 

mark nods and motions for the rest to move as jisung falls to the back of their crowd. he links their arms and murmurs into jisung’s ear as they walk. “told you everything was gonna be alright.”

 

“i should start listening to you more,” jisung says. “i won’t, but i should.”

 

he flicks jisung’s neck with his free arm. “keep talking. see where you end up.”

 

jisung fixes him with a steely glare. he pulls his arm away from mark’s and only utters one word: “bet.”

 

it takes everything in mark not to roll his eyes. but he manages, pushing jisung towards the crowd as he walks behind them, detached but not too far away. 

 

they push into the hall from which music blares and lights flash. donghyuck sends a horrified look back towards him, mouth agape and eyes wide. "we missed the 2000's songs!" he shouts over the music, falling back from the crowd. he directs them towards the refreshments table (and elbows mark when he rolls his eyes). "a toast to our last year together at prom."

 

"and jisung's first," jeno says. jisung tries to hide his smile.

 

chenle pokes jisung’s side and murmurs something in his ear as they fill plastic cups with punch. jisung turns pale.

 

“can we toast?” renjun asks. “i’m toasting.”

 

chenle nudges jisung again.

 

“wait.” jisung sets his cup down on the table and looks up, eyes trained on the wall behind jeno. “i’ve gotta tell you guys something.”

 

chenle’s hand fits into jisung’s as soon as the words leave his mouth. it’s out of instinct, mark guesses. whatever it is, he feels himself coo a little.

 

jaemin says, “shoot,” and jisung says, “i’m not a boy,” and then everything descends from there.

 

“oh,” renjun says, dragging the vowel out with wide eyes. he nods. “i get it now.”

 

jisung’s staring at his feet now. “i’m not a girl, either. i’m, uh… nonbinary.”

 

“so do you want us to use different pronouns?”

 

jisung swallows thickly. “they,” they say. “um. and them. but that’s implied.”

 

“sungie, i’m so glad you told us,” jaemin says, maneuvering around the table to stand next to jisung. he opens his arms, and when jisung nods, jaemin wraps them up in a bear hug. mark can see they’re beaming, their chin settled onto jaemin’s shoulder and their arms circled around him. “you’re the best—uh, give me a gender-neutral word.”

 

“baby,” donghyuck says, grinning, and jaemin nods.

 

“you’re the best baby. my baby.” jisung tries to pull away at that, still smiling wider than mark has ever seen them smile. jaemin lets them escape, his arms dropping to his sides as he hands jisung their cup and picks up his own.

 

“alright, new toast.” mark raises his cup into the air. “to jisung!”

 

the force of the response is enough to make mark jump a little, and he spills a bit of punch on his sleeve because of it. but they’re all busy laughing at jeno as he chugs his cup of punch and swallows the last of it with his fist in the air.

 

“you’re so embarrassing,” renjun sighs, and jeno takes his hand with a dopey smile. mark pretends not to notice, but it’s hard not to grin at how much happier jeno looks now.

 

“can we dance?” donghyuck asks, eyes trained on mark with his head tilted. mark nods and takes his hand, promising to the rest of them that they’ll be back to say goodbye before they leave.

 

mark treks out to the middle of the floor with donghyuck and goes through the motions — he’s slow danced too many times to not do it without thinking now, and donghyuck laughs at him, adjusting where mark’s hands fall as the lights above reflect in his eyes. 

 

“d’you think chenle and jisung are gonna be okay now that we’re all gone?”

 

mark hums. “i think so. we’re not that far away.”

 

“and when chenle graduates, what about jisung?”

 

“they’ll be alright.”

 

donghyuck hums. he settles his head onto mark’s chest as they sway, and mark grins. 

 

“remember when we danced like this last year? and when you got wasted at the afterparty?”

 

“i’m not talking about that,” mark says, hitting donghyuck’s shoulderblade lightly. "unless you're paying me, i'm never talking about that again."

 

"fair enough." donghyuck pauses for a moment, pulling back from mark's hold to look past his shoulder. "look at sungie," he coos. 

 

mark turns his head enough to see a few bodies away, where jisung is trying their hardest not to trip over chenle's feet as they dance. it's strange to watch them fumble with the hem of their dress and grin at chenle nervously, because they don't seem like they're comfortable at all. maybe it's the heels they're wearing, mark thinks.

 

mark watches as chenle says something to them, and jisung's eyes widen, a smile growing on their face as they lean forward and kiss chenle's cheek. they're both still beaming when mark turns his attention back to donghyuck.

 

"they'll be fine without us," he says decisively, and donghyuck nods, the corner of his lip curled up just enough to tell mark that he'd seen jisung, too. "come on, let's actually dance."

 

donghyuck's mouth twists into a frown. his eyebrows furrow. "i'm pretty sure you're still just as bad at slow dancing as you were last year, so... that's a no."

 

mark rolls his eyes. he pulls donghyuck closer despite a very loud protest and sways to the beat of the music. "i'm the best damn slow-dancer you've ever seen," he says.

 

"and i'm the prettiest one here. stop kidding yourself." 

 

"you are, though," mark says, phrasing it more like a question than a response, and donghyuck makes an indignant noise and swats his lower back. 

 

"i'm breaking up with you."

 

"bet," mark says, the word coming out slow because he's never used it before and isn't even sure if he's picked its context up right. donghyuck cackles and leans all his weight against mark. his breath comes in small puffs against the side of mark's neck, and his heartbeat is strong enough for mark to feel even through the thick fabric of his suit.

 

mark closes his eyes. he doesn't want to forget how this feels.

 

the beat of the music thrums through the floor, and mark feels it deep in his chest, soft but strong. donghyuck murmurs out a quiet, "i love you," and when mark opens his eyes, his heart soars.

 


 

"c'mere, c'mere," chenle says into their ear. it's quiet compared to the music that's blaring right now. they've finished slow-dancing, and now the speakers overhead are playing whatever gets requested at the booth by the refreshments table. jisung watches jaemin walk up to request a song three separate times and laughs each time he's turned away.

 

"what do you want," jisung grumbles as chenle takes hold of their wrist and pulls them through the crowd. they brush up against people and shiver each time someone turns to look at them, but heaves a sigh once they finally break free from the mass of people.

 

"you looked overwhelmed," chenle says simply. "i figured it'd be good to get you out of there before anything bad happened."

 

jisung lets themself smile and kiss chenle's cheek for what must be the hundredth time that night. they wrap their arms around chenle and stay there, their grip tight and their smile wide as chenle's arms hesitantly rise up and lock at the small of jisung's back. "thank you.”

 

they're alone, tucked into a large space of floor that hasn't been touched by anyone else. now that they're free, broken off from the crowd, they have enough room to actually move, and that's exactly what jisung tells chenle to do when they pull away from him. 

 

"wait, no," chenle says, swatting his hand along the hem of jisung's dress. "do a twirl."

 

"no," jisung hisses. "too many people."

 

they move to grab chenle's hands so they can dance again, but chenle fixes them with a pleading look that they can't turn down. against their body's wishes, jisung turns and twirls, the fabric of their dress fluttering out from them. when they slow to a stop in front of chenle, he's awestruck.

 

"you're incredible," he breathes, and jisung feels their face heat up. "c'mon. let's dance."

 

this time, when jisung grabs at chenle's hands, their attempt isn't swatted away. and when they dance, jisung feels a rush in their chest that has to be euphoria, because they've never felt this way in their life, never felt so free, so careless. faintly, at the edges of their vision, the world is blue.

 

chenle takes their hand and pulls it up, and jisung doesn't even have to think before they're twirling again. they both dissolve into laughter when jisung's head starts to spin, and jisung realizes with a bright grin that they never want tonight to end.

 

they take chenle's hand again. if they're only going to be here for a few more hours, then jisung is going to make the most of it.

 


 

"are you going to sit there and whine, or are you going to dance with us?"

 

jaemin crosses his arms. "this beat fucking sucks."

 

"it's prom, you idiot, of course the music is bad." jeno beckons jaemin towards the dance floor, but jaemin stays glued to the wall.

 

renjun sighs. "be lucky we're even letting you dance."

 

"oh, my god, i can dance, it's good for me." jaemin props his cane against the wall and walks out to meet the other two.  

 

renjun snickers. "i knew that would work," he says, earning a smack on the shoulder from jaemin. "it got you to dance with us, didn't it?"

 

"you're evil," jaemin says, "using my fire sign against me like that."

 

renjun grins. he nudges jaemin towards jeno, who immediately wraps jaemin up in his arms and sways him to the music. jaemin relaxes into the hold and tries to fight off a smile when he sees the way jeno is looking at him.

 

"you look nice," jeno says. "i never got a chance to tell you."

 

jaemin's face is on fire. "so do you," he blurts out, looking past jeno's shoulder so he doesn't have to make eye contact.

 

renjun smacks him. "you've been dating for weeks. take the damn compliment and kiss him."

 

"you heard him," jeno says, and jaemin sighs, rolling his eyes as he looks around to make sure none of the chaperones are watching before he leans forward and kisses jeno. it's a short kiss because he's afraid of getting caught, but it still sends his heart racing as he pulls away.

 

"my turn," renjun says. he takes jaemin's jaw in his hand and gently pulls it to the side, fixing a kiss at the corner of jaemin's mouth before pulling away and turning his jaw back to face jeno. "jen," he says and does the same to jeno.

 

something pricks at the base of jaemin's spine, and he can tell already that it's not a one-time thing. he winces when he moves the wrong way and it increases in intensity. shoots a furtive glance towards his cane, which is still lying against the wall.

 

renjun pulls away from jeno and follows jaemin's line of sight. "d'you need to sit?"

 

jaemin shakes his head and lets his arms circle around jeno again. "i'm alright."

 

"you're not," jeno says, dropping an arm so that only one is wrapped around jaemin, sliding around his waist as he leads him towards the wall. "let's go sit outside and get some air. it'll be good for all of us."

 

jaemin frowns but walks with jeno, smiling a little when renjun's arm wraps around his other side as well. he retrieves his cane and lets renjun lead them outside.

 

the air is cool, and jaemin wipes sweat from his brow as they find a clear place along the side of the building and sit. the brick wall is cool against the part of jaemin's neck that's exposed, and he presses a hand to the concrete beneath him to let it cool before he brings it up to his forehead. the relief draws a loud breath out of him.

 

jeno rolls his neck to one side and yawns. "so, jaem, your first and last prom. how is it?"

 

"not what i expected," jaemin says, taking renjun's hand and guiding it behind him to his lower back. renjun seems to get the message and massages just below where jaemin needs him to. "go up a little."

 

"here?" renjun asks, moving his hand up. jaemin nods as tension runs out of him in waves.

 

"you know, there aren't any chaperones out here to tell us to stop being gross in public," jeno says, rolling his head onto jaemin's shoulder. "so, like, hypothetically, if you wanted to, we could, like—"

 

"do you ever shut up?" jaemin shrugs jeno's head off his shoulder and turns to kiss him. in seconds, jaemin finds his hand slipping into renjun's free hand while the other continues pressing at the base of his spine. 

 

"knock it the hell off," a voice says, too loud and nasally not to be donghyuck. jaemin pulls away from jeno and rolls his eyes. "renjun, what are you doing with your hand? why is it — no. i don't wanna know. just stop."

 

"i'm rubbing his back, you perv," renjun calls out. "what are you doing out here?"

 

"mark and i saw you leave," donghyuck says, coming closer. mark is attached to his arm. "figured we should follow you. we told chenle and jisung, but i dunno if they followed us or not."

 

"we had every reason not to," another voice says. chenle stands in the doorway, jisung not far behind him. he steps past the threshold and leans against the wall while jisung moves past him. 

 

jisung runs a hand through their hair and adjusts their dress. "i'm bored," they say, moving forward to drape themself around mark and rest their chin on his shoulder. "can we do something fun?"

 

"what could possibly be fun here?" jeno asks. "this is a high school prom."

 

"actually..." mark turns to face another side of the building and furrows his eyebrows. he takes jisung's wrist and walks forward. "come with me."

 

reluctantly, jaemin stands, following the rest as mark leads them around the building. they stop at a rickety metal staircase attached to the side of the building, rusted beyond preservation and two days away from collapsing. at the top is a platform that wraps around to reach a door.

 

"i'm not climbing that," renjun says, ignoring jisung's loud protest. but mark is already halfway up the stairs, and they wait until he's swung the door open and crept inside until any of them risk going up after him.

 

jaemin is the last to go up. donghyuck is standing in the doorway and offers him a hand when he finally reaches the top step.

 

"taeyong told me about this," mark says, moving down the hall slowly and surveying all the doors. "this is mostly just storage and tech stuff, but there's a door that leads to the..." he stops in front of a door and pulls it open. inside is a ladder that leads up through the ceiling. "the roof."

 

"no," jeno says. "absolutely not."

 

"if you don't get up that fucking ladder right now," jisung seethes, pushing jeno towards the door as mark climbs up the ladder and pushes on something above him that eventually gives way. moonlight floods the room, and when jaemin turns, he counts six shadows and watches the steady rise and fall of their chests.

 

"c'mon!" mark calls down, and jaemin heaves a sigh, passes his cane to jeno, and climbs.

 


 

the roof is steeper from above than it looks from below, and the stars seem to shine brighter from here, too. at jaemin's left side is donghyuck, and to his right is jeno, who's currently complaining that he's going to fall.

 

"i'll push you myself if you don't shut up," donghyuck says. 

 

jaemin grins. "i've got you, you big baby," he says, an arm snaking across the front of jeno's waist to secure him. jeno seems to relax, if only a little.

 

donghyuck nudges his side. "so, how'd you like your last year of high school?"

 

"it's not over yet," mark reminds him, earning five loud shushes in response.

 

"i didn't expect it to be this good," jaemin says. it's a little too truthful because he's tired and having too much fun to make up something less sappy. "i really thought i'd be alone this year, but you guys didn't let that happen. it was so much better than i hoped for."

 

jisung nods. "as much as i hate donghyuck, i'm glad you introduced him to us. and i'm glad we all worked out our shit this year."

 

"renjun and i," jeno says, muffling the words with a cough. renjun elbows him.

 

donghyuck sniffs. "well, i'm glad we all got a little better this year. jaemin isn't as anxious as he used to be. renjun and jisung are more open. jeno and chenle are happier. and mark's doing a lot better."

 

"and you," chenle says. "you're more sure of yourself. it's good to see."

 

jeno leans forward to see donghyuck more clearly. "seriously, hyuck. you're so much more confident than you were when i first met you. and you kicked ass at the musical."

 

renjun's mouth falls open. "oh, my god. the musical. i forgot."

 

jaemin swears.

 

"what?" mark asks. "did i miss something?"

 

"all the money that we got for performing as extras in the musical," jeno says. "we saved it up. we're putting in a fund for you."

 

"for... why?"

 

donghyuck leans closer to mark and whispers something in his ear. immediately, mark claps a hand over his mouth. "no," he says, his voice cracking. "i can't let you guys do that. use the money for something that benefits you."

 

"your happiness benefits us," jisung says. they're beaming, kicking their feet over the edge of the building like they don't have a care in the world. "that wasn't meant to be sappy. i meant that you like to buy me food when you're in a good mood."

 

"jisung," chenle hisses, and mark cackles.

 

jeno braces his weight onto his arms. "for real, mark, we want you to take it. i know it's expensive and i know you'd be paying for it by yourself otherwise, and i don't wanna let you do that alone when we have the means to help."

 

"you're sure?"

 

"positive," jeno says. "i'm not even sure there'll be a dance team next year, since it's just chenle and jisung. that'd mean there wouldn't be a team to use the money for in the first place. so really, this is the best way to spend it."

 

mark sniffs. his voice is wet when he next speaks, and his hand raises to wipe tears away. "i love you, guys."

 

the resounding chorus of, "we love you, too," makes jaemin smile so widely that it hurts.

 

"so, jaem, you didn't really answer me directly when i asked you," donghyuck says. "did you like your senior year?"

 

jaemin glances up at the stars, and then to the right at his boys, and to the left at his best friends. he blinks away whatever tears have formed in his eyes before he looks back up at the sky again.

 

"i did," he says, voice soft, "i really did."

 


 

jaemin: i cannot stand you putas

 

jaemin: but thank you for this year. i love you all so much

 

jaemin: <3

 

renjun: you know we still have like two weeks of school left and you still have exams right

 

jaemin: blocked. shut the fuck up. i'm breaking up with you

 

jeno: what about me

 

jaemin: you're on thin ice bitchboy

 

renjun: haha loser

 

jaemin has kicked renjun from the chat!

 

jisung: aw we love you too nana. thanks for everything <3

 

jaemin: aw baby i love you :((( bye <3

 

lele: the fuck do you mean bye

 

jaemin: i mean bye can you read

 

you are the admin of the chat. would you like to archive the chat for all members? this cannot be undone.

 

chat successfully archived.





 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 







jaemin has created a chat!

 

jaemin has added mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, lele, and jisung!

 

jaemin has changed chat name to "college bitchez (and chensung)" !

 

lele: oh god.

 

jaemin: get ready for summer '19, bitches!!!