Loving two people at once was something that confused me a lot as a child. Sometimes I’d see my primo Dante look at one girl and see his eyes light up like he was falling in love, and then he’d look to another girl the same day and have the same love struck look in his eyes. It was confusing.
I didn’t understand, but I guess that was normal for a 13 year old boy.
But now I do. Now I get the feeling of being in love with two people at once. Except it wasn’t fun like Dante said it was. It wasn’t double the chance to flirt. No, it made me angry. It was hard, to be in love with two people at once.
Sometimes I look into her blue eyes and I see the galaxies that line the space we’re trapped in. The space I can’t escape no matter how much I want to. Because I’m here to do what’s right, that’s always been what drove me. My Mamá always told me “Be strong mijo, you always do what’s right. It’s in your blood and your soul. You will always know what’s right even if you doubt yourself.”
Those long lecturing conversations I had with my Mamá were boring. At least that’s what I thought back then, but then I was slammed at the helm of a blue lion and then quickly taking off only to never see my mamá again. Who knew how long it would be until I saw her soft smile and her soft arms when I hugged her.
Her blue eyes are the unknown future, of what’s up ahead. I question that, I wonder, would it ever work out? We’re from completely different places, and if we’re really in love. Nothing could separate us, but I can’t help but think, is it worth it? Either one of us would have to give something up for the other. Is it right? It’s so confusing, all of it.
In his eyes, I see the earth and space, and the deep sea. In his eyes I can see the stars, but I can see my family. I can see my hometown. I can see the beach. I can see all I want in his eyes. They are midnight, yet at other times they are bright like the warm sun on a day on the shore. They are indescribable, his eyes, and I think that’s why I love him. Because he’s indescribable.
He’s a mystery to me. He’s unique. He makes me feel things I’ve never felt for a guy before. Sure, there were crushes and little flings, but I had never really been in love with a guy. But he just makes it so easy to fall for him. Maybe it’s because he is hard to understand and he has some walls up. But I’m not afraid. I see the man underneath it all, and he deserves to be found.
I think that’s why I realized he was what I needed, instead. He leads me forward and holds my hand with me the whole way. He is there with me. And sure I reminisce on the time I had with her. But he keeps me going and doesn’t hold me back.
He’s the secret to the universe— my universe.
And I think that’s why I fall in love with him a little more every day.
And he falls in love with me even more too.