It was the darkest night of your entire life, but it was also your brightest.
Your fiance, the person you thought you'd spend eternity with, the person you thought was your one true soulmate, had broken the marriage off just a week before it was supposed to occur. You were left heartbroken, wanting nothing more than to curl up into a ball and just die. Fortunately, your best friend had an idea to cheer you up: clubbing. The two of you would go in there, take some other young and dumb idiot home, and make sweet love to them to the melodies of 70s disco tracks. It had all been such a simple plan.
Too bad your friend had to cancel at the last minute. He had gotten into a cheese-eating contest with his sister a few hours ago, and has since been spending the night on the toilet. Irritable Bowel Syndrome was a bitch, after all.
You glance up from your empty shot glass, looking around at the other club patrons as they enjoy their night. They all seem to be enjoying themselves pretty well, and you're happy for them, but you really wish you could also find that happiness once again.
That's when he catches your eye, and in that instant, he also catches your heart.
He's standing in the other end of club, enjoying a delicious glass of chocolate milk as he speaks with another man. Both of them are indescribably THICC. In fact, you're in awe at the size of these lads, for they are ABSOLUTE UNITS. Their rectangular arms regularly bump into each other as they laugh about some joke that you didn't quite hear. In that moment, you feel compelled to come closer. So, tentatively, you make your way across the room to this gorgeous hunk of man, well aware that he doesn't even yet know you exist. Somehow, though, nobody else in this world matters as much to you as he does.
Eventually, he looks in your direction, making sharp eye contact with you as he does. His smile only grows, and you find yourself returning it. He begins to meet you halfway, waddling across the room as his arms clumsily bump into various other patrons as he does so. Luckily, they're far too busy getting jiggy with it to really care. And besides, nobody messes with a man who has so successfully harnessed the power of rectangles, right?
You swallow. Anxiety wells up in you as he grows closer, yet you can't look away. There's just something about him that's so. . . handsome. His face is lively, energetic, and gleeful, and it seems to infect the very atmosphere around him as he waddles. Finally, he reaches you, staring into your eyes with a soul-piercing gaze.
"H-h-hi," you squeak nervously, careful not to bother this gorgeous man as he dances around the room. "I'm. . . I'm Y/N."
The man shakes his astronomical shoulders in response, a gesture that you don't quite understand, but appreciate nonetheless. "Hey, Y/N. It's me, Kanye West. I'm the Kanye Best!"
How could this man say something so stupid and yet so brave!? You reel back in shock, but soon melt into his arms. He hugs you, or at least he tries too. Unfortunately, it seems he can't control his massive blocky arms well enough to embrace you, and you end up tumbling to the floor.
"Oh, God!" he exclaims. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm still getting used to this body. Are you OK?"
You hop back onto your feet, for these new feelings welling up inside of you easily outweigh any possible sensation of pain you might be experiencing. "Yeah, yeah. I'm good. I'm actually, uh, really great."
Kanye grins. It's so sweet and wholesome that your heart could melt right there. "Good. I'm glad to hear it. Listen, I'm sorry for bothering you, but there's something I have to ask you."
"Really?" you say as you cock your head to the side. "That's funny, I have something to tell you as well."
"Well, you go first."
"No, no," you chuckle, blushing as you look away. "You brought it up first. What do you have to tell me?"
He caresses you with his massive square hand. "You'll think I'm weird."
"I will not," you assure. "Actually, I feel very comfortable around you, more than I have around anyone. That's not strange, is it?"
Kanye leans in and pecks you on the lips. "Not if I have anything to say about it."
You're in shock. It's the good kind of shock, of course, but you still are unable to form any sort of vocal reply. For a moment, Kanye's smile falters, and his eyes widen in shock as he realizes that he may have been too forward.
"I-I'm sorry," Kanye whispers. "I shouldn't have done that, I just-"
You kiss him back. You pull his enormous, handsome body into a tight embrace as the club erupts into cheers, for they knew that, on this night, true love was discovered.
Finally, you pull back, grinning from ear to ear. Once his mind catches up to the moment, he does the same.
"Wow, that was amazing," Kanye mumbles, a passionate longing for you and only you present in his voice. "Shall I have this dance, beautiful?"
You take his hand in his. "Sure thing, love."
"There's only one more thing I have to tell you," Kanye says as you take his arm in yours. "I'm a sick fuck, and I like a quick fuck."
"What a coincidence," you respond, winking playfully. "So do I."