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Couples' Costumes

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Leslie has spent far too long trying to come up with the perfect matching costume ideas to hear her girlfriend say that she's not sure she wants to do costumes on Halloween.

The house isn't decorated, they haven't bought candy for trick-or-treaters, and they still don't have costumes. To be fair to the both of them, Leslie is busier in her life as a city councilwoman than ever before and Ann works two jobs. Even so, the spirit of the season is nowhere in the house and now on top of that the very suggestion Ann has is mind-boggling. How the hell could they enjoy the holiday without costumes?

Relishing the time together they have that night, Leslie and Ann are comfortable on the couch cuddling. They are one glass deep into Ann's new young adult fiction spawned fantastical romance show du jour when she brings it up out of the blue. 

"What? But you love Halloween!" Leslie exclaims after she processes something that insane.

"No, you love Halloween," Ann bites back. "Which is okay, but can't we just... not? This time?"

"Look, just because you were an eggplant last year doesn't mean that we should skimp on festivities," Leslie is very clear on bringing that eggplant up any chance she can. Deflated and shapeless Ann Perkins eggplant in all its oddity needs the spotlight any chance Leslie can get.

"You promised you'd stop bringing that up," Ann says with a laugh, shaking her head.

"Sorry, you just... y'know the dull, lifeless purple really brings out your eyes," she admits with a warmth that belies the joke. "I've already got costume ideas and they're all better than an eggplant. Plus, they're matching costumes."

Ann sighs and turns to look at Leslie who is still staring straight ahead in her almost obsessive thought. "Okay, what did you--"

"Perfect. So, first up I was thinking maybe I would be Jessica Fletcher and you could be the lonely lady detective on the same case I'm interested in," Leslie offers with millions of buzzing nerves at the very thought. She can barely contain herself, speaking so quickly she might run right over Ann. "Maybe we both go to Andy and April's party and you arrest me for interfering with an investigation."

"Are these supposed to be costumes or is this roleplaying?" Ann speaks with a burgeoning smile and if Leslie wasn't busy imagining the scenario she would notice Ann's face getting a bit redder.

"Ooh, now there's an idea!" she interrupts and that starts a whole new train of thought she has to park away for later. For now, though, there are costumes to be thought of and interruptions would just make this more difficult. "But no, let's keep it PG please. Mind out of the gutter, Ann. Anyways, that's just the first idea. Next, tragic twist of fate -- I'm Hillary and you're Joe Biden, Bill and Jill have passed--"


"What? We've discussed this," she can't believe the reaction Ann would have to that. After a rigorous discussion their celebrity hall passes were Joe Biden and Zooey Deschanel, respectively.

"How am I supposed to dress up as Joe Biden?" Ann asks in the most serious deadpan voice.

"A suit with an immaculate cut and perfectly combed over hair is a good start," Leslie is already picturing how she would look and it's amazing.

"I love the way you look when you fantasize," Ann leans forward and leaves her a quick kiss on the lips to bring Leslie back to Earth.

It's like being dragged right back down to reality, and Leslie can't help but say, "Ann, you would make the best Joe Biden."

"Right. Do you have any ideas without any ulterior motives?"

Opening her mouth for rebuttal, Leslie clamps shut and has to think for a moment. None of her ideas were particularly explicit, but somehow most of them kept going down a very specific path. None of that is a problem when your girlfriend is Ann Perkins though. It's almost expected. That's what Leslie tells herself, at least.

"Okay, fair enough. How about this," Leslie turns to face Ann while she speaks. It's been a hidden "We've never done Harry Potter costumes!"

"That's true, but don't they just wear, like, regular clothes in most of those movies?" Ann scrunches her face in confusion. Leslie knows she has many amazing qualities, but her insistence on movie canon is not one of them.

"No, like in the books!" Leslie replies in a mostly faux-angry huff. "With the long robes and all the layers."

"Layers? Ugh..."

"And the big, pointy hats," she continues and wiggles her eyebrows in what she knows has to be seductive. Who on Earth wouldn't be into that?

Judging by the groan that comes out of her, that person is Ann Perkins. Armed to the teeth with at least another half-dozen ideas, Leslie settles in for a long night of paused television and trying to convince her that one of them is the perfect couple's combination. After all, she only needs about three and a half hours of sleep and the night is young.