Debbie hoped that she would never feel so alone as she did when she was in prison. Yet, there she was, sitting on the bathroom floor looking at the five positive pregnancy tests.
After the heist was a success she thought that maybe, just maybe she and Lou could fix things, well that she could fix things. She knew how hurt Lou was. She felt it during a heist too, when Debbie would casually try to come closer, Lou would pull away, when she tried to make eye contact across the room she would look away, pretending not to see her. But more importantly, Lou didn't trust Debbie. Not after everything. So Debbie couldn't blame her when she wanted to walk away after she found out setting up Claude was part of the equation. And then she left. She really fucking left. "California", she said. "Indefinitely".
Debbie was never the one to brag about having good coping skills. She would drink, she would smoke and she would sleep with anyone who was around just to stop feeling pain. So when Lou left that's exactly what she did. Except, this time, she was reckless. So she called Tammy.
"Does Lou know?", was one of the first things she asked Debbie.
"How would she, she is in fucking California or God knows where", Debbie said irritated.
"Well, I just thought, phones..", Tammy stopped herself when she saw the look Debbie gave her.
They were now sitting on the couch in silence when Debbie couldn't keep it together any longer and tears just started to stream down her face.
"What am I gonna do?"
"Do you know how far along are you?"
"Two months, give or take."
"Well there are always options", Tammy said.
"Yeah", Debbie said looking at the floor. "Yeah."
After they ordered takeout and talked about lighter topics like Tammy's kids being absolute monsters sometimes it was time for Tammy to go home. She hugged Debbie tightly, with a promise that everything will be okay.
"Don't tell the girls yet, okay?", Debbie pleaded.
"Wouldn't dream of it." And with that Tammy was gone.
That night Debbie slept in Lou's bed.
Two weeks later the girls gathered in the loft for their traditional dinner after the heist. Nine Ball was teaching Constance how to roll a joint, Tammy was face timing her kids, Amita was yelling at her phone (her mother), while Daphne and Rose were looking at wedding dresses. Debbie scanned the room and realized one person is missing. A person who used to made her feel safe with a single look, a single touch.
After the dinner was over, it was time for a toast. Since Debbie was now three months pregnant the booze was out of the question for her so tonight poor Tammy was drinking for two. And, oh boy, Tammy should never drink for two. She can barely drink for one if we are being honest.
While she was in the middle of her karaoke routine, singing and trying to do the dance for the "Single Ladies" song they heard a car approaching the driveway in front of the loft.
Still a little paranoid and cautious from the heist all the girls looked at each other and went to check whose car is it. Nine Ball spoke first.
"Damn, seems like Lou got herself a new treat".
"I'm calling shotgun", Constance said quickly.
Tammy felt Debbie's nervousness as Debbie stood unable to move.
"Go, go and say hi, it's just Lou for god's sakes."
Debbie nodded and went outside.
Lou was already surrounded by the girls who grew fond of her and obviously missed her. Constance told her all about her new channel and said it would be super cool if Lou wanted to be in one of her videos. Lou laughed and said she will think about it. Daphne told her all about the "disaster" that happened last month on the premiere of her new movie when it started raining and her hair was a complete mess. Lou assumed that wasn't true knowing Daphne and her dramatics but she made a sympathetic face anyway.
Finally, when girls gave Lou a little space Debbie stepped forward to greet the blonde. She tried to be reserved but once she hugged the blonde all that effort was pointless. After six months she was finally here and for a little while, she allowed herself to just be.
It was one of the happiest moments Debbie experienced in a long time. The whole team now together, Lou finally back, relaxing, talking, dancing, playing charades.
When girls left home it was already 3 am and she and Lou found themselves alone for the first time this evening. While they were cleaning out all the takeout boxes both women seemed to wait for the other to speak.
Finally, Debbie spoke.
"So, how did you like California?", she asked trying to sound casual.
"Humid and warm, but nice roads", Lou said smirking.
"And hot girls I imagine", Debbie teased.
"What a scandalous question Deborah!",
Lou said and Debbie laughed too but secretly wondering if Lou is just dodging a question and if maybe it's better not to no and be hurt.
"What were you up to jailbird, any heists I should know about?"
Debbie swallow hard and said,
"Oh you know just catching up with things after prison, I kinda didn't have time to do it during the Met", she said trying to sound casual.
"Well whatever it is, it obviously works," Lou said with a warm smile that Debbie missed so much.
"You are not so fucking thin anymore, I was worried you know. But now I see you were just fine without the cook in the house", she teased Debbie.
"Yeah," Debbie said but avoiding eye contact at any price.
"Well, I'm gonna take a shower and probably crash", Lou said yawning.
"Are you getting old, Lou Miller?", Debbie asked mockingly.
"Are you saying I should have cracked under pressure in LA and get plastic surgery?",
Lou said making a fake sad face.
Debbie got more serious and said,
"I am really glad you are back Lou.", her voice almost breaking.
Lou's eyes got soft as they always have when she felt Debbie was vulnerable.
"Yeah. I am too.", she said and went to take a shower.
Debbie was left standing in the kitchen wondering how the hell she should tell Lou about the baby.