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Love is the Punchline

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Harry. (Y/N)

 

Hazzzy boi.

Y/N!

Just wanted to text you quick, know you’re busy. You can tell me if something’s on your mind, okay?

Of course, same to you. Everything ok? X

According to a Harry Styles Exclusive Interview, you tell yourself all your jokes silently??? That’s Class A Sad, hon.

Is it? x.

Yes, it is. You can text me WHENEVER a joke comes to you. I’ll send back a ‘lol’ no matter what. You won’t need to suffer from a tragic lack of hilarity alone.

Thanks, (Y/N)...

I’ll be there to give you the illusion that there’s wit to your humor. It’s what friends do.

How kind. x.

Yeah I know, I’m treating people with kindness nowadays.

Ahh what a brilliant slogan.

Here, I’ll send YOU a joke. So it’s less weird if you just send me one. It’s like a tradeoff.

I’m excited. x.

What do you call a snobby criminal going downstairs?

Dunno.

A condescending con descending.

Are you not responding because you’ve collapsed to the ground from laughter? Are you being carried away in an ambulance right now? Did your lungs fail because they couldn’t handle the pressure of so much comedy?

I like my jokes better. x.

Wow what the HECK Haz, why are you so rude, doesn’t Britain count on you to add to their tourism or something

Why don’t more people eat clocks?

Because they wood-n’t like it very much.

(Cause some clocks are made of trees, Haz. In case you didn’t get it, your clocks all being made of crystals...or Gucci cloth)

It’s too time-consuming. x.

...

OK that was alright. Compared to your usual.

Wow. My crystal clock says it’s time for you to be nicer to me. x

Oh please, I think you’ve got an abundance of nice vibes being sent to you, by millions of people, every second of the day.

Just need some from the people I love. x.

You know you’re amazing.

Aww (Y/N) you think I’m amaaaaazing. x.

...

Yeah, of course.

I think you’re incredible.

Haaazz. You don’t have to flatter me because I vaguely complimented you.

I know. But it’s the truth. You’re one of the most incredible people I know.

Nice turn of conversation...this might be funnier than your zingers.

If it makes you smile, I’ll say it forever. x.

Oh my GOD is that a Ryan Gosling quote or something.

No, it’s how I feel.

Your feelings are a bit mushy. I don’t MIND but I’m just saying.

Applesauce mushy or old avocado mushy?

Applesauce 100% like it’s a good mush.

You like my mush?

LOVE your mush.

I LOVE you.

We should get matching best friend necklaces, the ones with the hearts.

Not the type of love I’m talking about, love. x.

Harry, we’ve talked about this. Before you left on your worldwide tour, remember?

Wouldn’t forget. I know we did, but it doesn’t change how I feel.

We BOTH agreed that it couldn’t work out. Not with there being so much distance.

I know. But it isn’t like a light switch, I can’t just turn it off.

If we don’t move on, it could cause a lot of complications in our friendship. Blurry lines, Robin Thicke, no one wants that.

I’ve never felt like this before. I don’t want to move on. What if this is it for me, what if this is what I shouldn’t turn my back on?

Y/N?

What am I supposed to say to that?

Whatever you want? I don’t know.

You know I care for you too, but I don’t want to get hurt. When I clearly saw it in the distance.

Okay.

Haz, c’mon. I don’t want to be a joke. I just want you in my life, but not where we could both get hurt.

...

The joke?

A man like you, with a girl like me? It just doesn’t happen like that. Friendship is where this belongs.

(Y/N), pick up. Please. I want to talk about this.

I don’t want to talk about it, Haz. Please. I just need us to stay on the path we agreed on.

You don’t think we’d be worth the risk?

No.

I have to go, show rehearsal.

I’m sorry, Harry. It’s just too much.

Take care.

Harry?

Good luck with your show tonight…

I’m sorry.