“...of course, Morticia, far be it from me to reject someone for being different-lived but…”
Lurch, still clutching the parchment containing his post-vita in his hands, felt his shoulder drooping. Another household would rather have a more talkative, more breathing butler. Life was not kind for those made of the spare-parts of humanity.
The groan that escaped Lurch’s lips was aimed at that unjust society rather than at this particular family.
Still, Lurch leaned and watched the scene through the crack between the door and the doorjamb. The master of the house, a cigar in hand, was traipsing around the great chair where the woman in black, who had received him at the door, sat majestically. The master’s long stride avoided the minefield of folded rugs, loose floorboards and weapons scattered around.
“Gomez Addams…” The kind lady of the house said the name with a lovely, but chiding, tone. “Dear Uncle Mistimed had been insisting we take some help around the house since our wedding. He was kind enough to send us this butler he had unearthed from that lovely place in Europe…”
“Yes, Morticia, I know the place. The one with the shifting ground and the lovely quicksands…”
“Besides, Cousin Prying interviewed him and you know how thorough he can be,” Morticia Addams turned the page of her Witchcraft Weekly with an elegant flick of her wrist. “He even said some parts of him fit right within our family and he has his heart on the right side.”
“I assume you mean in the right place?”
“ Mais non, mon amour: à droite. ”
“ Querida , that’s French….”
Lurch groaned again and pulled himself from his spying spot barely in time to avoid seeing the master and lady of the house get intimate. Lurch’s eyes rolled in their sockets with ease, and he wondered again why his father couldn’t get better ligaments before he finished putting his son together.
The loud gong sounded and Lurch inferred he was being called to the parlor. He released the parchment in his hand and opened the door.
“Lurch, we are going calling,” the master said, offering his hand to help the lady up.
“Would you be a darling and lightly dust the parlor while we are away, Lurch?”
Lurch groaned and rolled his eyes one more, this time because his happiness couldn’t be contained.
He was an employee once more.