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Watching Life from the Sidelines

Summary:

Music draws them together. And their mutual avoidance of a party.
When Rey meets Ben, it's for one rhapsodic night that changes both of their lives forever. They part ways, never to see each other again. What neither of them realize is that Rey is pregnant.
Both have hard choices ahead of them. Can the music work its magic a second time?
AKA the August Rush AU that really no one asked for. Including me.

Chapter 1: Intro

Summary:

Song suggestions:
Elgar's Cello Concerto, Op. 85 in E Minor for Rey's first part
Mumford and Sons: The Wolf for Ben's
I love August Rush because it was a part of my childhood, but watching it again kind of makes me cringe. Those poor actors with that dialogue. But it still holds a special place in my heart and I couldn't get this one out of my head, so here it is!
This really isn't my best work, but it is complete, so it will be updated daily.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rey took a deep breath and let her bow touch the strings to breathe the first notes to life. The cello held magic for her, it always had. It woke up something deep inside of her that could only be expressed through the ringing music. Every breath sang. Every note spoke.

“Watch that note there. You’re just a tad long,” Luke, her mentor, interrupted her thoughts and broke the spell.

She glanced up at him in annoyance. “The orchestra will follow me. That’s the point,” she said.

“That doesn’t mean you can hold your notes out as long as you please.”

“Actually,” she muttered under her breath. “It does.”

This was only a warm-up, a moment of peace before she would walk out on stage and into the spotlight. The last thing she needed was another pointer from the overly-picky Luke Skywalker. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate his input. He had pulled her up from the gutter to become one of the most promising young celloists in Coruscant. But he had honed his craft in a different climate, a different generation, and her music didn’t sound the same as his. It couldn’t, if it were truly to be hers. He must have read her thoughts on her face because his own softened.

“You’ll play wonderfully tonight, Rey, no matter how long you hold out your notes,” he said, and she gave him a reluctant smile. “I’m sorry.”

Rey accepted his apology with a nod and started fingering through her scales instead. The constant run of notes, the order, the complete sense to it, the return to basics always helped re-center her. Whenever she felt nervous before a performance, she always returned to this. It reminded her of a little girl with a cello too big for her arms.

A woman stuck her head through the door. “They’re ready for her.”

Rey took another deep breath to steady her nerves. She could do this. She could play this piece in her sleep. Luke grasped her free hand in his.

“Show them who you are, Rey,” he said simply.

She stepped out into the spotlight.

~ ~ ~


The bright lights blinded Ben as he stepped onto stage, feeling his band at his back keenly. From what he could see through the piercing stage lights, a decent crowd had filled the bar to see them. They’d gathered a decent local crowd, although not near enough to score a real recording contract with anyone. They made their rounds at bars and held down day jobs to keep things going.

“Hello!” he called to the crowd, which met him with cheers. “We’re the Stormpilots! Let’s kick it off with a new one, shall we?”

Ben had never been very good at working the crowd. He wished one of the others would take over that job. But he supposed that it did fall under his job description, as both lead vocalist and lead guitarist. He struck up the song to alleviate his embarrassment. Being behind the microphone was a safer alternative.

Wide-eyed with a heart made full of fright, he sang. Your eyes follow like tracers in the night…

It was late when Ben finally stepped off the stage, guitar case in hand. Phasma followed him down, her bright blonde hair blue in the lights of the bar they’d been playing. It wasn’t empty by any means and he could see several fans eyeing them up, perhaps hoping they could snag some of the band members for a drink. Ben had absolutely no interest in that. Luckily for him – or unluckily, he couldn’t decide – Phasma had other plans, as always.

“Ben, there’s a great party downtown tonight. We should go,” she pestered.

Ben rolled his eyes. “Not tonight, Phas, please. I’m tired.”

“You’re old is what you are. Come on, Ben! We’re young! It’s Friday night! Let’s go get drunk on someone else’s alcohol.”

The idea didn’t sound totally repulsive when she put it like that. Phasma did always seem to have the inside scoop on the best parties. Except for that one she had dragged him to last fall…well, they didn’t talk about that one. Hux jumped off the stage, landing between them, followed by Poe, who threw his arms around both Ben and Hux’s shoulders, even though they towered over him and the action brought his elbows up to his ears.

“This party sounds fun,” Poe said. He may have taken advantage of a beer or two before going on stage. Ben was just glad he had refrained enough to keep from tripping into his drum set. Again.

Even Hux agreed.

They all looked to him expectantly and Ben groaned. “Alright, fine. But we’re dropping the instruments off at my place first.”

Phasma beamed. “I promise, Ben, it’ll be so worth it. This party is going to change your life.”

~ ~ ~

“Come on, Rey, it won’t be any fun without you!” Rose tugged on her hand and tried to pull her out of their shared apartment. Rey hadn’t even gotten the chance to change yet. She still wore the ridiculous white dress she’d performed in. Rose had probably only let them come back to the apartment to avoid lugging a cello and a violin around a party. “Finn’s agreed to go too.”

Great, Rey thought. Two against one. “Whose party did you say this was again?”

Rose waved her hand like the thought was a pesky bug and not a very necessary piece of information. “Friend of a friend. It’s in this great converted warehouse downtown. Come on!”

“Finn really agreed to go, right?” she asked warily. She counted Rose as her best friend, but she got easily distracted at parties and Finn had the tendency to stick closer to her.

“Yes! Can we please leave now?” Rose asked.

“Fine, but can’t I at least change?” she protested.

Rose relented at that, but it didn’t stop her from following Rey into her room and scrutinizing what she’d chosen to wear instead.

“I promise, Rey, it’ll be so worth it. This party is going to change your life,” Rose declared.

“That’s an overstatement if I ever heard one,” Rey muttered to herself.

Notes:

Thanks for reading! Almost all chapters will have both Ben and Rey POV. Feel free to leave comments.

Chapter 2: Exposition

Notes:

Thank you to everyone for the positive feedback so far!
Here's the next chapter in which Rey and Ben finally meet.
Please leave comments and tell me what you think. I love hearing feedback on the story :)

Chapter Text

            Rey had a drink in her hand, people to watch, and a decent buzz going.  Altogether, the party wasn’t so bad.  The venue was an imposing, square, brick building complete with smoke stacks and wavy glass windows.  She had spent at least the first half hour just taking in the architecture.  Whoever had decided to turn it into an event space had made the right choice. 

            She didn’t like to think of herself as a wallflower, per say.  In fact, she had a lot of energy and liked to spend most of it on people.  But the crowd pressed so tightly around her, and the bass thrummed so loudly that it instantly became too difficult to strike up a conversation with anyone.  She liked music as much as the next person – more given her profession – but someone had just turned it up far too loud for the enclosed space. 

            Didn’t consider the echo, she thought to herself.  What kind of musician would fail to account for so many hard surfaces where sound could bounce from?  Her headache pounded in time with the bass.

            And worse, both Rose and Finn had found other people to talk to.  Rose stood by the bar nursing drink after drink that a tall, dark, and handsome bought her with a far too liberal use of his credit card.  Rey had checked on her a few times, just to make sure she hadn’t gone into the zone of no return and that the guy wasn’t a total creeper, but he did seem decent and Rose had waved off her concerns.  And Finn…Finn had found someone who definitely matched his type.  Latino, drop-dead gorgeous, a wide smile, a little on the short side for Rey’s taste, but Finn always did like to be the taller one or at least on equal footing.  The pair seemed too deep in conversation to surface for another few hours.

            Rey had enough of the constant pounding music.  She started looking for an escape route.  The front of the venue could work but standing out on the sidewalk didn’t appeal to her much.  A cloudy day had cleared into a chilly but clear fall night.  She wanted to see the stars.  What she could see through the light pollution anyway.

            She had to duck through several corridors and restricted areas before she found the staircase that led to the roof.  Bright red letters declaring EMERGENCY EXIT ONLY marked it, but Rey could tell that there was no alarm on it.  She pushed through it and found herself in a staircase so narrow she couldn’t even straighten her arms on either side of her.  One of those old relics of Coruscant that came about before the advent of fire regulations.

            Rey climbed and climbed, scenting the crisp, clean air, until she finally found herself on the roof.  She couldn’t understand why the owner of the venue, with all his foresight, had never thought to convert the roof into an extended seating area.  The flat plane seemed to go on forever.  Sure, it was totally empty, but with a few modifications it could have added even more to the warehouse-turned-event space.  What a waste. 

It offered a stunning view of the city too.  The brick wall circling it came up just above her waist and she could lean her elbows on it as she watched the lights flare to life in the distance.  Something must have been going on in Central Park because she could see the twin beams of spotlights even from here.

            “I see you had a similar disregard for rules,” a voice said from behind her.  She turned to see a man step around one of the skylights and move to stand beside her, a polite distance away.  In the light casting over the roof from neighboring buildings, she could see that he was young, maybe a few years older than her, with a mop of dark hair that begged to have hands threaded through it. 

            “Maybe I just can’t read,” she answered.

            He let out a quiet chuckle.  God, his voice was deep.  She wondered if he sang.  It would almost be a shame if he couldn’t do it well.  “I think the giant red letters would have clued you in anyway.”

            Rey lifted one shoulder in half a shrug.  “I’m colorblind too.”

            That sparked a bark of laughter from him.  “Not one for parties?” he asked.

            “They’re fine,” she hedged in case he happened to be throwing this one.  “My friends are otherwise occupied.”

            “I hope they’re not some of the ones making out in the back hallways,” he remarked.

            Rey smirked.  So, he’d seen them too.  “No, they’re not so crass as that.  Why?  Are your friends among them?”

            He cocked his head to the side.  “I didn’t take a close enough look.”

            “Then, why are you avoiding the party?” she pressed on.

            He lifted his shoulder in one-sided shrug, same as she had just a moment before.  “I’ve had enough of crowds for the night.”  She lifted her eyebrows at him in question.  “I’m a musician,” he explained.  “I already played a gig tonight.”

            “Me too.  What do you play?”

            “Mostly guitar.  Piano, if I’m coerced.  I guess I sing too,” he added almost as an afterthought and she felt a thrill of satisfaction at guessing right.  “You?”

            “Cello,” she answered easily, and his face broke out into a grin.

            “You must think I’ve turned to the dark side, then.”

            Rey snorted.  “God, this isn’t Star Wars.  And I enjoy all kinds of music.  I didn’t even say I played classical cello.”

            “What other kind is there?  Electric cello?  Punk cello?  Hard rock cello?”

            She laughed at the image that conjured up.  “Alright, fair enough.”

            “Where do you play your classical cello?” he asked, his eyes trained out on the lights spewing from Central Park.

            “I’m finishing up my fellowship with the Coruscant Philharmonic,” Rey answered, only slightly ashamed at how proud she felt to say it out loud. 

            His eyes widened.  “No shit, really?”

            “Really,” she confirmed.  “Where do you play?  Coruscant Symphony Orchestra?”  She hoped her teasing didn’t sound too much like pride or mockery.

            He grinned, and she thought it must be okay.  “Nah, just a band.  We play in dingy dive bars you’ve probably never heard of.”

            She faked offense at the suggestion.  “I’ll have you know I’m a dive bar kind of girl,” she protested and took a swig of her forgotten drink.  The rum and coke had gone a little on the warm side.  He shifted a few steps closer, his arm nearly brushing hers.

            “I’m glad.”  God, those eyes.  They could swallow her whole.  “Dive bars are the best bars.”

            “I’m Rey,” she said and stuck out her hand, hoping he’d offer a name in return.

            He took hers slowly, his enormous hand encasing hers completely.  “Ben.”

~  ~  ~

            Ben woke up to Rey scrambling out of his arms, grasping for her discarded clothing.  “Shit, how did it get this late?  I’m going to be late!”

            “What’s wrong?” he slurred, trying to blink the sleep from his groggy eyes.

            “I’m going to be late!” she called over her shoulder again as she pulled the t-shirt down over her head and stuck her feet into her shoes.

            “Wait!  Rey!” he called after her and scrambled out of bed. 

            “I’m sorry, Ben, I really have to go,” she said and planted a kiss on his cheek.  “I had a great time last night.”

            He grabbed for her wrist as she hurried out the door.  “Can I see you again?”

            She turned her smile back on him.  “I’d like that.”  She scribbled her number down on a piece of paper and shoved it at him.  “Bye!”

            And then she was gone.

            When he looked for it later, so was the piece of paper.

Chapter 3: Development

Summary:

Rey and Ben have to deal with the consequences of their meeting.

Notes:

I'm so sorry I didn't post this chapter yesterday! I could make all kinds of excuses about work...instead, have two chapters! Please comment, leave kudos, etc. I'll get around to responding to comments eventually, I promise!

Chapter Text

Rey’s bow made a jarring sound against the strings and she gave up, tossing it down in her fury.  She scrambled to pick it up again, breathing a sigh of relief when it came back into her hand unharmed.  It wasn’t the cello that angered her.  She just…couldn’t play.  Her hands wouldn’t find the right notes.  Usually, only playing her cello could calm her down.  Not now.  Not when…

            One hand came up to wrap around her stomach.  She set her cello aside, so she could catch her head in her hand.  Everything had dissolved into such a mess.  What was she going to do now?

            Rose burst into her room without knocking, shattering her thoughts.  She shot up and winced as her back connected with the chair.  The eagerness on her roommate’s face softened at once as she took in Rey’s expression and the few tears that had slipped down her cheeks.

            “What is it, Rey?” she asked, grabbing her desk chair and tugging it up beside Rey.  “What’s happened?”

            “Rose,” was all she could manage.  She couldn’t make the words leave her mouth.  “I’m…”  The tears choked her.  “I’m pregnant.”

            Rose’s face morphed between happy and extremely pale.  “You’re what?

            “I’m pregnant.”  It came out easier the second time.

            “We’re going to have a baby!” Rose squealed.  “I mean…if you’re going to keep it.”  The look Rey gave her made her roommate go stark white again.  “Of course, you are.”

            “I can’t…how could I…?”  Rey cleared her throat.  “My parents abandoned me.  I can’t abandon…it too.”  How did the room suddenly get so tight?  “Our lease is up in six months.  Can I…can I wait until then to move out?”

            Rose’s face fell.  “Move out?  You’re going to move out?”

            Rey let out a teary chuckle.  “I can’t imagine you want a crying baby in here.”

            Her friend and roommate gave her the most disappointed look she’d ever seen on her face.  “Rey, you can’t do this alone.  You’re going to need help.”

            “But…that’s…that’s not fair!”

            Rose grabbed her hand and squeezed it.  “I don’t give a shit what’s fair.  You’re my best friend.  If you’re keeping this baby, then I’ll just have to help too.”  She paused, and a slow smile spread across her face.  “You know, I’ve always wanted to be Auntie Rose.”

            Rey started sobbing.  Rose’s arm came around her shoulders instead and she pulled her against her chest.  “Oh wow, I need to be ready for a lot of tears then, huh?”

            Through them, she blubbered her thanks to her friend.  Rose remained silent for long minutes, letting her cry it all out.  “It was that guy, wasn’t it?  The one from the party?” she ventured cautiously.  Rey nodded against her chest.  “Did you ever…?”

            “He never called,” Rey answered.  “It was just a fling for him.  I shouldn’t expect anything else.”

            “But it’s his child,” Rose said.  “I can ask around…see if anyone knows him.”

            Rey laughed.  “His name’s Ben, Rose.  That’s just about the most common name there is.  I’m sure everyone at that party knows half a dozen Bens.”

            They sat for a long time together, Rose rubbing soothing circles on her back.  “Hey,” she said finally.  “Can I come to your appointments with you?”

            Rey laughed and wiped away her tears.  “Yeah.  I’d like that.”

~  ~  ~

            Ben sat with his pen poised over his paper.  He’d been trying to write this song for three weeks, but every time he sat down with it, nothing would come out.  He’d had the whole thing laid out in his head just weeks ago.  It had come to him before that show.  But now, it all felt wrong.  Like something had shifted inside of him and made the whole thing off-kilter.  He stared down at his blank sheet of paper.  Other songs flowed easily as water, but not this one.

            “Ben,” Poe stuck his head through the curtain to call.  “Come on!  We’re on!”

            He tossed the notepad aside and stepped onto the stage, hearing the dull roar of the crowd as he did so.  As he took the handful of steps up to the mic and freed his guitar from its stand, he scanned the faces in the crowd for one familiar one.  Just in case she showed up one day by chance.

            She never did.

            He didn’t bother with an intro.  He struck up the first song right away.  It had such a bright opening rift.  He thought maybe this was one of his best pieces.  Phasma had protested a bit until Poe reminded her that he could have written something more heartbroken and desperate.  She’d shut up about it after that.

            “All I see, girl, is in black and white in the darkness of the night.  It seems I’ve been chasing angels for what seems the entire of my life,” he sang like it was ripped from him.  “All because heaven is on fire, don’t you know?  My heart, it’s got a fever, I can’t let you go.

            He loved the whole song.  It had taken him five minutes total to write all of the lyrics.  Ten to add the music with it.  Poe and Hux had taken one look at his face and started learning their parts without question.  Even Phasma had relented, as if she knew how much this one meant to him.  Usually, they played almost an equal role in crafting the music, but Ben had needed something to himself.  After he had turned his apartment upside down for a week searching for that damned scrap of paper.  It had vanished into nothing.

            Yes, he loved the whole song like he loved the part of him that had left with Rey and hadn’t returned.  But he loved the last line most of all, because it was his declaration.

            “All I see is black and white in the darkness of the night and I’ve been chasing angels all my life.  And now that heaven is on fire and the world’s technicolor…

            “Oh, I’ll be chasing angels all my life.”

            And, God, he knew it was true.

Chapter 4: Recapitulation

Summary:

Basically, almost everything starts falling apart...

Chapter Text

“You can’t just quit!”  His words hit her like punches to the gut.  He just didn’t understand.  He couldn’t.  Her mentor had never married, never had children, never had a family of his own.  As far as she knew, he never even saw his relatives for holidays.  He had no one.  Just his music.

            Rey had no one either.  She had grown up a nobody with no parents and no life ahead of her.  Everything she had now she had built from scratch with her bare hands.  But now…now she had someone.  Someone who meant more to her than any music ever could.  She covered her swelling stomach protectively as Luke took an angry step towards her.

            “After all of this work?  Everything you’ve given up?  Everything I’ve given up?  You’ll throw that all away and for what?” he demanded.

            For what?  How dare he fling this at her like it was nothing.  “What do you expect me to do, Luke?  I’m due in a month.  I can’t keep going with this performance schedule.”

            Dark circles seemed to be a permanent feature beneath her eyes.  Luke had ignored this and continued to plan out her performances as if ignorant of her due date.  He had planned one for the weekend after.  She knew he still expected her to change her mind last minute and give her child up for adoption, but any possibility of that had flown out the window the first time she heard her daughter’s heartbeat, more rhythmic than anything she’d ever heard before.

            “You can’t give up your dreams, Rey.  You’ve been working for this your whole life.  Do you remember where you were before I found you?” he asked like he was the one squatting in some rotting orphanage instead of her.

            “No,” she said coldly.  “I haven’t.  And if I have any say in it, my child will never have to know anything like that.”

            She turned on her heel and stalked out of the room, cello in hand.  She heard Luke call after her but ignored him.  He couldn’t make her the embodiment of all of his hopes and dreams anymore.  She wouldn’t act as a surrogate for everything he never got to do himself.

            Rey had never had a real job in her life.  Everything had been practice and performance. 

            Even though she knew it was the right choice, she cried when she traded her cello in for one more suitable for teaching lessons.

~  ~  ~

            Everything dissolved around him.  The band had been on tenterhooks for a while and Ben had been clinging to it, hoping the final news wouldn’t break.

            It finally did late that July.  Poe came into practice fidgeting with his drumsticks and they’d spent thirty minutes not practicing at all while they tried to pry it out of him.

            “I got a job,” he burst out finally.

            Hux snorted.  “What’s the big deal?  We all have jobs.”

            That rang true to a certain degree.  Ben worked days at a book store and Phasma waited tables.  Hux had bounced between jobs and subsisted off the meager inheritance his parents had left him.  Poe, though, had mostly been running off his parents’ dime.  He’d confided in Ben recently that they had begun pressuring him to get a real job.  He had plenty of qualifications, just never decided what to do with them all.

            Phasma sensed that this job differed from the others first.  “What’s the job?”

            “Pilot,” Poe muttered.

            Not surprising, given his history.  He’d been flying since he could walk.  Poe loved flying almost as much as he loved music.  Or maybe more.  Ben hated to be that person, but it needed to be out in the air.  “So…Friday and Saturday nights are out, then?”

            Poe swallowed.  “I can’t guarantee my schedule.”  He looked up at them mournfully.  “I’m sorry.  I really am.  I can’t keep living off my parents.  They’ve made it clear they’ll cut me off if I don’t get a ‘real job’.  I’ll play through the gig in a couple of weeks, but then I’m done.”

            Ben felt his heart plummet.  He knew even then that this spelled the end.  They couldn’t get another drummer as good as Poe, certainly not one that gelled with their group.  Hux was a pain in the ass at the best of times, Phasma particular, and Ben…well, he had his own set of challenges, he supposed.  Phasma stepped forward and clapped him on the back.

            “That’s great, Poe.  It really is.  I’m happy for you,” she said.  Hux seconded the notion. 

They all looked to Ben as if he could make or break Poe’s chances.  He forced his face into something like a smile.  “To hell with practice, then.  Let’s go celebrate.  Drinks on the new hot shot pilot.”

It took a total of three weeks for them all to realize that they could never find a drummer who would even come close to Poe.  It took less than a week after that conclusion for the band to dissolve.  Ben walked out of the last performance with his guitar and felt the sinking weight of its absence on his chest.

Chapter 5: Verse

Summary:

Ben is sad. Rey is at least slightly better.

Notes:

A huge thank you to everyone who is following this story! Your kudos and comments are such great motivation :)

Chapter Text

Rey doubled over as the pain rippled through her.  It had gotten worse in the last hour.  Definitely worse.  She sucked in deep breaths as the wave passed again.  It couldn’t actually be labor yet.  She wasn’t due for another two weeks.  She clenched her teeth and shut her eyes against the next wave of pain that overtook her.

            “Rey, oh, Rey!” Rose sang as she walked in the door, dropping her keys in the jar beside it.  “Let’s go eat dinner at Maz’s tonight.  I’m starved.”  Her friend froze in the doorway as she caught sight of Rey’s pale, sweaty face.  “Oh, god, it’s happening, isn’t it?  It’s really happening.”

            “Rose,” Rey grit out.  “Can you just help me?”

            Rose snapped into action.  Within a minute, she had the emergency bag in her hand, Rey’s arm around her shoulder, and her keys in her hand again.  Together, they waddled down the stairs.  “I should call an ambulance,” Rose said.  “You can’t make it like this.”

            They’d had this discussion at least five times before.  “I can’t afford an ambulance, Rose, we talked about this.”

            “That seems like a boatload of shit to me,” Rose said.  “You’re seriously going to take the subway to the hospital while you’re in labor?”

            “Yes,” Rey growled.  “Problem?”

            Rose very clearly had a problem, but she wisely clenched her jaw and shook her head.  They focused instead on making it the few blocks down to the subway station.  Someone scrambled out of their seat to let Rey sit down in his place.  She hoped he understood her thanks as she clenched her hands against the next wave of pain. 

            Eventually, they made it to the hospital.  The nurses took one look at her swollen belly and pale face and whisked her back and into a room all to herself.  After much pestering, they let Rose come back with her.  Her friend already had her phone pressed to her ear.

            “Finn, get Poe and get down here,” she nearly yelled into the phone.  “What do you mean get down where?  Coruscant General, I just told you.  Rey’s in labor.  She says not to come without her special pillow.”

            Rey could barely hear Finn through the phone.  “I can read the headlines now.  Godfather not present for the birth of the best child ever because his sleepy boyfriend forgot the special pillow.

            “Just shut up and get down here!” Rose shrieked at them.  A nurse turned aside to tell her that if she couldn’t stay calm, she’d have to vacate the maternity room.  Rey laughed through the pain.  At least her friends hadn’t changed.

            Poe and Finn arrived less than twenty minutes later, carting the special pillow, which Finn immediately put behind Rey’s aching back, and the largest teddy bear she’d ever seen.  “What the fuck is she supposed to do with that?” she hissed at him, too far gone in labor to care about her language or her tone.

            To his credit, Finn and Poe looked absolutely delighted.  “It’s her first bear.  It has to be the best one ever.  She can keep it for her whole life.”

            “It’s going to be ten times her size.  Jesus Christ,” Rey screamed as another contraction stole her train of thought.  “You two better keep your eyes up here.”

            “I’m gay,” Finn reminded her.  Poe seconded the notion.

            “That doesn’t mean you get to see anything you haven’t seen before,” she snapped.  Poe and Finn obediently moved above her waistline.

            “Not long now,” the nurse said from between her legs.

            “Hallelujah,” Rey muttered as she slumped back against the pillows.

            Poe turned his head aside to Finn, as if that would make him harder to hear.  “I’m glad we’re gay right now.”

            “Maybe they’ll invent male pregnancy soon and I can stand by you while you…good God,” she couldn’t finish that sentence.  Poe seemed to get the message.  He charitably offered her his fingers to pulverize into dust.

            Rey dropped back against the pillows as the contraction passed.  Ben better be glad he’s not here right now, she thought.  I’d kill him.  She wondered if their daughter would have his deep brown eyes or Rey’s hazel ones.  She was guaranteed to have dark hair unless he’d dyed it.  Rey supposed she wouldn’t know if he had.  Soon, so soon, she’d finally get the answers to all of these questions.

            “I can see her head,” the nurse said.  Rey felt Poe grip her hand in anticipation.  “One last good push for me, Rey.  Come on, you can do it.”

            Rey wasn’t sure that she could.  Her body weighed down so heavily.  But she summoned the last of her strength and pushed with all her might.  With that final effort, her daughter emerged into the open air and cried out her first songs.  The nurse cooed her pleasure at having the child in her arms at last.

            “Such a beautiful, perfect baby girl,” the nurse said. 

            They cleaned her up swiftly and within seconds had placed the tiny bundle into her arms.  Rey looked up into the beaming faces of her friends.  “Look at her.  Oh, just look at her.”  Tears stung her eyes.  “She’s so perfect.”

            “What are you going to name her, Rey?” Finn asked.

            Rey looked down into the now peaceful face of her newborn daughter.  “Melody.  Her name is Melody.”

~  ~  ~

            Ben slammed his glass down on the counter and nodded to the bartender.  All night, the feeling had been nagging at him that something was missing.  A huge gap.  Bigger than losing his keys or his favorite shirt or even his job.  Although, he thought as he took another sip of his whiskey, if he lost his job in the near future, he would be okay with that.

            He drained the glass, signed his check, and finally left the godforsaken bar.  Maz, the wizened old bartender, squinted after him through her too-big spectacles.  He didn’t bother to bid her goodbye as he stepped out into the steamy city.  He could practically see the sticky humidity rising from the ground.  The alcohol in him tilted his steps, but he refused to admit that he had gotten himself drunk at 8:00 on a Thursday evening.

            Ben had to take a break from walking against a rough brick wall.  He leaned back against the solid surface and tilted his head up to the sky.  The moon shone down on him like an old and disapproving friend.

            “Fuck you,” he slurred to no one.  Two months at this godforsaken job and he already they’d sucked his soul out through his ears.

            How many more months until he crumbled?

Chapter 6: Bridge

Summary:

Rey and Ben both have to wrestle with their draw to music again.

Notes:

New day, new Reylo chapter. It's a short one, but the next one will be up tomorrow!

Chapter Text

“Melody Lucia Niima get down here now,” Rey called upstairs.  Muffled thumping and muttering met her shouted demand and a small bundle of a girl trotted down the stairs.  Rey crossed her arms and stared her daughter down.

            “How many times have I told you to stay out of the instruments?” she asked.  Melody looked down and shuffled her feet but didn’t answer.  “How many?”

            “It’s not fair!” her daughter declared finally.  “You won’t let me play them.”

            “You’re too small to play them now,” Rey answered, although she knew it was a lie.  She taught students her daughter’s age.  They played on smaller versions of her beautiful instruments and came along just fine.  Melody had been begging to play since she turned three.  Rey just couldn’t bear it.  She didn’t have any fear that her daughter would hate it and quit.  No.  She feared that she would love it and be forever captured by the industry that had chewed her up and spat her back out again.

            Five years.  Five years ago, she’d been the most promising young celloist of her age.  It took less than one for the world to forget her and move on.

            Rey sighed as Melody frowned again.  She had heard these excuses a hundred times before.  Her daughter shuffled her feet.  “I just want to play.  Like you do.  You teach kids my age.  Why can’t I play too?”

            Rey couldn’t come up with a reason why besides her own silly fear.  She looked down at her daughter, staring longingly at the instruments Rey kept for her lessons.  She took a deep breath.  Maybe her daughter was right.  Melody could be stronger and braver and better than Rey ever had been.

            “Put your shoes on,” she said.

            Melody slumped to the door and obeyed.  “Why?  Where are we going?”

            “To get you a violin your size.”

~  ~  ~

            Ben slammed his head down on his desk.  Stupid deadlines and stupid phone calls and stupid everything.  He’d devoted five years to this company. Five years.  And what had he gotten for it?  Nothing but a head full of pains and a heart full of regrets.  And a decent apartment, but that mattered less to him at the moment.

            His thoughts drifted back to Rey.  God, he could still see her like it was yesterday.  He’d walked through a haze of glitter and sequins and sleek black shirts to get to the stairwell that led to the roof.  No one else had found their way up there for long hours, not even his friends.  Poe had texted him once to tell him that he’d be by the bar whenever Ben wanted to leave.  But the roof had been pure, blissful emptiness.  He’d listened to the sounds of the street far below and watched the lights flash above Coruscant like he was peering down at a miniature model. 

            When she had found her way to the roof, it took him several minutes to even notice her.  The venue’s roof went on for ages.  But when he did, he couldn’t stop looking at her.  The colored lights from below speckled her face where they reflected through the skylights.  She leaned out on her elbows over the expanse of city and closed her eyes. 

            His feet had steered themselves to her before he could think better of it.  He could see that memory as clear as day.  Her white shirt, standing out against her brown hair, and the torn-up jeans she’d donned for the occasion, her ruined sneakers peeking out beneath.  And how she’d laughed with crinkles at the corners of her eyes and dents in her cheeks that appeared like secrets when she smiled.  A mosaic.  She’d reminded him of a mosaic, all those colored lights scattered in droplets across her skin.

            He groaned.  That stupid piece of paper.  He couldn’t help but think that everything would be different now if he hadn’t lost that fucking piece of paper.

            Ben pulled out a new piece of paper and started scribbling down the first verses that had come to his mind in months.

I’ve been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines

Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds

I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind

Would the wind be at my back?

Could I get you off my mind

This time?

            He had nowhere to play the song anymore, but he wrote it anyway.  Maybe it would work like magic and she would hear it.  Or maybe he just had to pull it out of him like a thorn.

Chapter 7: Chorus

Summary:

Things start to get better for Rey and Ben. At least they're playing music again.

Notes:

Thank you again to everyone who is following this story! I won't get to comments tonight, but I promise I will soon. I really do appreciate them!

Chapter Text

Rey took a deep breath and stepped into the university building.  Stepping into Coruscant University again felt akin to walking on an alien planet.  She hadn’t even realized how foreign it had all become until she watched the students running past with their overflowing book bags.  Part of her worried that he wouldn’t be in the same room anymore, even though she had done a Google search just to double-check before setting out.

            Melody clung to her hand and that gave her courage.  She tracked the students around her with wide eyes.  The first thing she’d said upon arriving at the campus, tugging on Rey’s hand, was, “mum, I want to go here.”

            Rey couldn’t really blame her.  The university shone in the afternoon light.  They’d built everything in white for reasons Rey had never really cared much about.  Her eyes were drawn to the enormous performing arts center at the other end of the quad.  It felt nice to lay eyes on one of her favorite buildings again after such a long time.  She’d always thought whoever designed the glass-covered sanctuary had truly understood music. 

            Swallowing the last vestige of her fear and hesitation, she marched through the sea of students with her daughter in tow.  Melody had her small violin strapped to her back.  Indeed, it seemed to be another appendage she so rarely went anywhere without it.  Rey’s heels clicked on the marble floor as she traced the familiar path back to the room she’d spent so much time in.

            Her old mentor wasn’t expecting her.  She hadn’t gone so far as to actually contact him.  As she and Melody walked the final hallway down to his room, she feared he wouldn’t be there at all.  He could have gone home early.  Except Luke never went home early.

            They found him in his office alone.  The space was big enough for a number of people – to give him the room necessary to coach quartets or entire sections if needed – but his presence would have filled an amphitheater.  Everything suddenly shrank around her and she was twenty again, the promising and terrified up and coming celloist of Coruscant University.  He turned when he heard her heels click to a stop outside his doorway.

            His eyes lingered on her for the barest moment before sweeping down to rest on her daughter.  Their resemblance, she thought, was uncanny.  They both wore their brown hair swept back into a bun and Melody even stood like Rey, ramrod straight, shoulders back like she was ready to conquer whatever twist someone through at her.

            “Rey,” Luke whispered like a prayer.

            “Mel, sit out here for a minute and let us talk, won’t you?” Rey said to her daughter without taking her eyes off her mentor.  She hadn’t seen him since the day she’d quit playing and walked out of his life.  He hadn’t wanted her to keep Melody at all.  She second-guessed her decision to bring Melody to him at all.

            “Rey,” Luke said again.  He opened his arms a little as if to hug her.  She didn’t reach for him.  “It’s been a long time,” he settled for saying.

            “Six years,” she answered.

            “How…how are you?”

            “Good.”  She took the seat he offered to her.  “I see you kept your old office.”

            “Never could make me budge from here,” he tried at humor.  She let the smallest of smiles flicker across her face.  She hadn’t quite been able to forget how deeply his words had cut her.  She’d hoped that he would see past her decision, retain her friendship if not her education, but that hope hadn’t materialized.

            Luke looked down at his hands.  “I’ve been wanting to contact you.  To see how you are.”  He looked up at her face and then back down again.  “I didn’t know if I’d be welcome.”

            “You would be,” she said.  “I’ve been wanting to see you too.”

            “Do…do you play?”

            “I teach lessons.”  She could see on his face that he thought it was a waste of her talent.  “I’m not here about me, though.”

            Luke’s eyes darted to the door, outside which Melody sat with her violin balanced on her legs.  “She’s your daughter.”  It wasn’t a question.  “What’s her name?”

            “Melody,” Rey answered.  “Melody Lucia.”

            “Lucia,” he tried the name out on his tongue, a question in his eyes.  “Lucia…?”

            “Yes,” she answered the thing he couldn’t speak.  “I couldn’t very well curse her with Luke as a middle name, although I suppose that’s more in fashion now.”

            Tears brimmed in his eyes.  “You named her after me?”

            “Partially.”

            The words flooded from him.  “I’m sorry, Rey.  I’m sorry I made you choose.  We should have…I could have…we could have found a way for you to have both.  It wasn’t fair of me.”

            She gave him a tight smile.  “I don’t know if I would change what I have now.”

            He watched her for a long moment.  “Why are you here?”

            Rey took a deep breath.  “I started teaching Melody the violin a little over a year ago.  She’s gifted, Luke.  Very gifted.  Better than I ever could have been.”  She bit her lip.  “I want you to teach her.  Or, at least, consider it.  She’ll pass me in skill soon enough and she could be great.”

            Luke’s eyes betrayed only wonder.  “At six?  She’s so gifted at only six?”

            Rey nodded.  “She needs a better teacher than I am.”

            Luke’s gaze drifted to the door again.  “Can I hear?”

            “Melody,” Rey called.  “Come on in.”

            The girl shuffled in nervously, clutching her violin.  She stared up at Luke with her dark brown eyes.  “Her eyes,” he muttered.  “They’re so much like…”  He shook his head.  “Never mind.  Come on and sit down here, Melody.  There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

            “Mel,” Rey said.  “Play your favorite for Luke.”

            Melody pulled out her violin and smiled while she played.

            When she’d finished, Luke turned to Rey.  “We’ll have to get her an even better violin.”

~  ~  ~

            Ben stared down at the amber liquid in his glass.  He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.  At least this time, he had another excuse.  One in the form of a friend who had suggested their night be at a bar.  So, really, it hadn’t been Ben’s fault at all.  His old bandmate looked across the table at him in concern.

            “Ben, are you sure you’re alright?” Hux asked.

            He ran a hand over his face.  “I’m fine,” Ben answered.  “It’s just this job.  I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this.”

            “Then, don’t,” Hux suggested, swirling his own drink around in its glass.  Unlike Ben, Hux had stayed on only his first drink.

            Ben gave him a flat look across the table.  “What do you suggest I do then?  This is Coruscant.  I can’t exactly go months without working.”

            Hux set down his glass and looked him square in the eye.  “Call your dad.”

            Ben nearly cracked his glass.  “That’s the worst suggestion I’ve ever heard.”  That didn’t stop his own mind from making it repeatedly over the last year or two.  “I haven’t talked to him in months.”  And the last time he’d called, it had been a five-minute conversation to tell him that his Great Aunt had finally kicked the bucket.  Ben had respectfully declined to go to the funeral in Maine.  “I can’t just call him.”

            “Why not?  Isn’t that what family’s for?”  Hux drained the contents of his glass.  From Ben’s point of view, Hux had a very rosy image of families.  “They’d like to hear from you.”

            “How would you know?”  He wasn’t sure he wanted an answer to that.

            “Your mom calls me every once in a while.”

            Ben choked on the sip he’d just taken.  “She does what?

            “She calls me every once in a while,” Hux repeated with exaggerated patience.  Ben blinked at him.  Sure, they’d gone to high school together and Hux had practically lived at the Solo-Organa household while his parents divorced, but really?  She had gone too far.  “Mostly it’s to talk to me.  But sometimes she does ask about you.  I told her last week that you look like shit so at least they’re prepared.”

            “Thank you, Hux.  Did you decide to share anything else with my mother?” Ben grumbled.

            “I told her you were pining after that girl you spent one night with six years ago.”

            The only thing that saved Hux from getting Ben’s fist directly to his face was those long years of consistent friendship.  “That’s very helpful, Hux, thank you.”

            “Seriously, Ben.  Call them.  Your dad owns one of the biggest record companies in the country.  I’m sure he has a place for you.”  Hux gave him a painfully direct look.

            “I don’t need that reminder,” Ben said.  “If I wanted a job at Millennium Falcon Records, I would have asked for it years ago.”

            “You mean before or after you let the band die because you wouldn’t ask for a recording contract?” Hux asked.  Ah, so he’d selected hard-hitting truths for the night’s talk.  “Come on, Ben.  Get off your high horse.  You’re a mess because you met a girl and gave up your music all in the span of about six months.  When was the last time you picked up your guitar?”

            In all honesty, it had been too long.  “That part of my life is over.”

            “It doesn’t have to be.  You were always the musician out of the four of us.  The rest of us played with you, yeah, and we had fun, but we never took it as seriously.  It’s killing you, Ben.  Just go and, I don’t know, have coffee or something with your old man.  It won’t kill you.”

            Ben wasn’t so sure about that, but he blamed Hux when he found himself sitting opposite his dad across several cups of coffee four days later.

            Later that week, he quit his stupid bank job.

Chapter 8: Interlude

Summary:

Rey contemplates stepping onto the stage again and Ben has a new (better) job.

Notes:

I'm so sorry I missed yesterday's posting! Real life got in the way. But here's the next chapter and the rest *should* be on time!

Chapter Text

The first three times he’d said it, the idea still made Rey’s head reel.  She sat in a chair that wobbled a little against Luke’s polished office floor and stared down at the beautiful cello in front of her.  She blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the mist inside of her head.

            “They want you to play, Rey,” Luke said again. 

            She swallowed.  She hadn’t been on stage since before Melody was born.  She’d received a few offers from various places at first, but after she’d rejected the first few, they had just stopped coming.  The music world had forgotten her, moved on without her, and she had made her peace with that.  “This night isn’t about me.”

            “Playing a piece of your own doesn’t mean it has to be.  They’re setting you two up for a duet later down the line, but not for Melody’s first performance.”

            The last two years had turned her entire world upside down.  Melody had started taking her lessons with Luke several times a week and her already formidable skills had skyrocketed.  The higher-ups at the university had started taking notice.  A year into her lessons with Luke, she’d been accepted into Coruscant’s Endor School of Music, the best in the country.  Her eight-year-old daughter had been sitting through classes on music performance for a year, always with Rey in tow.  In the process, it seemed, the music world had remembered that Rey existed too.

            If that wasn’t enough, the Coruscant Philharmonic had asked Melody to perform a solo with them that summer during their Music in the Park series.  After another soloist had backed out, they’d asked Rey too.  Get the full set, she thought.  Mother and daughter, musical geniuses.  Except she’d never count herself as a musical genius. 

            “I don’t know, Luke,” she muttered.  “I haven’t been on stage in so long.  I have nothing prepared.  I’m just not that person anymore.”

            “Rey, you have more than a month before the performance,” Luke said with soft eyes.  “You can prepare this piece in that time.  You were my student.  I know that much.” 

He set a piece of music in front of her.  Elgar.  The same piece she’d played the night she met Ben.  It was that, combined with Melody’s pleading, that finally made her decision for her.

“Fine,” she said.  “I’ll do it.  But Melody is still the focus.  I’ll prepare on my own.  You help her.  Nothing is going to get in the way of her night.”

Luke agreed, and they began their preparations.

~  ~  ~

            Ben jumped as someone slid a piece of paper in front of him.  He looked up to see his father, Han Solo, squinting down at him.  “You alright, kid?”

            “Fine,” he said, straightening up.  “Just a long day.  What’s this?”

            “Music in the Park,” his father said.  “Not our usual gig, I know, but we keep a decent business in the classical world.  It’s some concert series this summer.  Anyway, they want us to record it.  I want you there to supervise the whole thing, make sure it goes according to plan.  You always were good at the tech stuff.  Can’t have anything break day of, especially since we’re coming to them.  This is a one-shot kind of deal.”

            Ben picked up the flyer.  All it had was an enormous moon hanging over some trees and the words Music in the Park written across it in some elaborate scroll.  It didn’t even have the names of the main performers or the groups or anything.

            “Who’s performing?” he asked.

            “Coruscant Philharmonic,” Han answered.  “With some soloists or something.  It’s kind of a big deal, though.  I hear some little girl is playing one of the solos.  She’s supposed to be the best you’ve ever heard or what not.  Definitely something we want to record.”

            Ben nodded.  “Alright.  I’ll get it set up.”

            Han clapped him on the shoulder.  “Good,” he said, his eyes unusually soft.  “Proud of you, kid.  You’re doing alright here.”

            Ben couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride at that.

Chapter 9: Crescendo

Summary:

Will they finally reunite?

Chapter Text

Rey smoothed down her white dress with shaking hands.  She hadn’t been on board with the notion of white, but she’d chosen it for Melody and someone had decided that mother and daughter needed to match at least a little.  Melody had her violin out already and had checked its tuning twice.  Rey had to assure her that it was perfect.

            “Mum,” she said, her dark eyes squinting as she put the violin down for a moment.  “I’m nervous.”

            Rey knelt down in front of her.  “There’s no need to be nervous.  You know why?”  Melody shook her head.  “Because you can play this in your sleep.  Really.  I’ve heard you humming it in your sleep.”  Her daughter giggled a little.  “And if you mess up, the orchestra has to follow you.  So, it can’t be that bad, can it?”

            Melody twined her hand with her mother’s.  “I want to see you play.  You’ve never played not the whole time I can remember.”

            “I play all the time,” Rey protested.

            “But not perform,” Mel insisted.

            Rey smiled sadly and dropped a kiss on her daughter’s forehead.  “Then, tonight’s your lucky night.”

            The clicking of heels alerted her to another presence.  A woman in a tight black dress and tall heels stood there, clipboard in hand.  Rey didn’t really know what role she played in the night, but she had been everywhere, telling them all where they should be and organizing everything before the curtain rose.  Rey hadn’t really even caught her name.  Connix something.  Now, the unnamed woman gave her a tight smile.

            “The other soloist is going to go first and then you and your daughter will be last,” Connix Something said, even though Rey had been told this at least three times.  She nodded anyway and thanked her.  Mel’s leg had started its nervous jiggly dance again and that absorbed her attention.  She glimpsed a suit-clad back disappearing behind the stage with Connix Something but gave it no thought.  Probably just another musician.

~  ~  ~

            Ben had double-checked everything at least five times.  Although it had seemed small at first, he had quickly discovered that this was the largest project his father had ever given him.  He was not a Production Manager.  His role usually stuck close to home.  But now that he was here, he was glad his father had tasked him with it.  The temporary stage set up in Central Park glowed beautifully and every few minutes, he caught sight of the crowd beyond, chatting and watching the stage with anticipation.  He had never seen such turnout for classical music.  The beautiful night and zero entrance fee probably helped.

            Kaydel Connix appeared beside the recording equipment, her tall black heels clicking against the hard surface of the platform.  She double-checked her clipboard.  “All the soloists are here,” she said.  “Mr. Abernathy will perform first.  You have his bell-mic, I presume?”  One of his assistants had, in fact, already affixed it to the soloist’s instrument.  “Ms. Niima will go next and we’ll finish with the young Ms. Niima.”

            Ben nodded.  He’d heard all of this before.  But Connix was nothing if not precise.  He glanced down at Chewie, his dad’s old friend that had come along to run primary on the sound board.  The silent, bearded man nodded in confirmation.  Chewie had been business partners with Han since they’d met in college and hit it off.  Han brought the charm.  Chewie brought the technical expertise.  Their partnership had proved unstoppable.  Millennium Falcon Records had grown at light speed.

            He didn’t really feel like he needed to be there at all.  Most of his role had occurred in the previous few weeks as they prepared for the event and earlier that afternoon as they’d moved all of their equipment to the sight and made arrangements for the concert itself.  In fact, he could feel a killer headache coming on.  Connix left again to the soundtrack of clicking heels.

            Chewie’s touch started him from his thoughts.  The first soloist had entered the stage to applause from the crowd, but the big, bearded man didn’t seem concerned.

            “We’ve got this,” he said.  “If you want to head out.”

            His father’s best friend always could read him best.  He gave him a quick nod.  “Yeah, maybe I will.  Call if you need anything.”

            Chewie nodded, even though Ben knew there was nothing that he couldn’t handle on his own.  Ben’s phone wouldn’t ring tonight.  He double-checked all of his employees again and took the back stairs down onto the grass as the first soloist finished his piece and the crowd hollered their approval.

            The crowd fell silent.  He assumed because Ms. Niima had walked onto the stage to take her place.  Ben stopped under the halo of a streetlight, the gray haze of the sunset just barely visible over the horizon.  The sudden ringing of a cello cut straight through the sounds of the city and hit him like a freight train.  He suddenly found it very difficult to breathe.  Ms. Niima was a celloist.  He knew this.  It still shocked him back to that night on the roof.

            “What do you play?” he’d asked her.

            “Cello,” she’d answered, the light hitting her face just right. 

            He felt his heart compress under the weight of the sound.  Whoever the soloist was, she played beautifully.  Heartbreakingly. 

            Ben’s eyes caught sight of the banner that had been placed on the streetlight above him to advertise the event.  He’d seen almost the same one weeks before on his desk.  The same enormous moon hanging over a cluster of smaller trees and the scrolling text.  Except this one had added the names of the performers. 

The Coruscant Philharmonic presents Music in the Park

 featuring Steven Abernathy, trumpet

featuring Melody Niima, violin

            featuring…his heart stopped….Rey Niima, cello

            Ben ran.

Chapter 10: Coda

Summary:

Our story comes to an end! Thank you for following, even with my spotty updates!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

            It can’t be.  It can’t be.  It can’t be.  The refrain drummed in his head with every step closer to the stage.  He vaulted over the four steps that led up to it.  He didn’t care how ridiculous he looked.  He didn’t answer Chewie’s question called out after him.  He didn’t stop until he’d slid into the area beside the stage.  But the soloist’s chair was empty.  Ben hadn’t noticed in his desperation to reach the stage that her performance had finished.  A slight girl, no older than ten, walked out to assume her place.  The third soloist.  Connix had said she was young, but Ben had been imagining a teenager, not a child.  The crowd seemed to think the same thing.

            Ben cast around for a glimpse of Rey or of her cello, anything to prove that it really had been her.  That she really had walked back into his life, even in the smallest way.  But she wasn’t there.  She had vanished again.  He looked back out onto stage, to where a girl now sat in her place.  Finally, he saw her.

            She had exited the stage on the other side, where the young soloist had emerged.  She stood with her hands clasped around her mouth, her eyes locked on the girl.  He couldn’t blame her.  The girl was phenomenal.  But Rey…

            He hadn’t seen her in nine years, yet she looked almost unchanged.  Her white dress glowed in the darkness of the stage’s wing.  I’ll be chasing angels all my life.  The line came to his head unbidden.  The line he’d written for her.  Her eyes hadn’t left the girl on stage.  Ben stepped up as close as he could to the stage without emerging onto it.  His eyes, finally, lighted on the girl with the violin and the resemblance almost sent him reeling backwards.

            Rey Niima the poster had said.  Rey Niima and Melody Niima.  The girl on stage was not just a girl.  It was her daughter.  He didn’t know why that realization sapped the air from his lungs.  Well, he did know.  He just didn’t want to admit it.  He wasn’t thirty-two and utterly single for no reason.  He had given his friends and later his parents many reasons why he had never settled down with any of the women interested in something more permanent than a date to a gala, but the real reason stood on the stage across from him.

            He had never been able to get the taste of her off his lips.  Every woman he’d kissed had just felt wrong.  Every dance too arrhythmic.  She had seeped into his bones and he couldn’t get her out, no matter how hard he’d tried.  No matter how many shots of whiskey had failed to chase the taste of her from his tongue. 

            Ben looked away from Melody Niima and back to Rey in her white dress, watching her daughter perform for what must have been the first time.  At that moment, her eyes slid up and connected with his.  He saw the moment of recognition, the way her hand gripped the railing beside the stage.  She looked down at her daughter and back up to him and there was something in her gaze, the stunned drop of her jaw, that made him look back to the violinist too.

            The resemblance to Rey was uncanny.  She was too far away to see if she shared her mother’s hazel eyes, but she certainly had borrowed the shape of her face and that smile that sent something aching deep inside of him.  But her hair, braided back from her face, was darker and there was just so much more of it than her mother’s sleek brown hair.  She would be as beautiful as her mother, he could tell even though she was only eight or nine…

            Eight or nine years old.  Oh god.  He clutched at the wall for support.  No.  Ben looked back at Rey, searching for some answer in her gaze.  She looked as thoroughly winded as he felt.  He hadn’t seen her in nine years.  She didn’t have a child then, of that he was 99% sure.  She wasn’t pregnant either, at least as far as she’d known, based off the rum on her breath.  Which meant…

            For the second time that night, Ben ran.

            He jumped down the short flight of stairs again and ran around to the other side of the stage, his feet sliding a little over the wet grass.  He prayed she would still be there when he arrived.  He prayed that she would give him answers and not hate him for the mistakes he’d made almost a decade ago.  He’d never found that goddamn piece of paper.  It still haunted him.

            Ben didn’t care how loud his feet slapped against the stage as he ran to the slight of her clad in a floor-length white dress.  God, is this what she would have looked like if he’d married her?  His head reeled.  Rey turned to face him as he tried to gain control of his movements again, something like devastation on her face.  Yes, it was her.  After all these years, she stood in front of him again.  He took a moment to mentally thank Hux for driving him back to his father and their music months ago.

            Now that he stood in front of her, he didn’t know what to say.  Rey looked up at him and swallowed.  “Ben?” she said like he couldn’t be real.

            “Rey,” he allowed her name to rest on his tongue.  “It’s really you.”

            She looked back onto stage to where the girl had finished playing and stood for applause.  Rey’s face tore between happiness and ruin.  He followed the line of her sight.  “She’s your daughter,” he whispered in wonder.

            Her eyes snapped up to his face again.  “I can’t do this right now,” she said urgently.  She put her hands on his chest as if to push him away, but no shove came.  “This is her night…I just can’t do this right now.  Wait…wait behind the stage.  I’ll meet you there.”

            Her voice was music in his ears, and he still couldn’t believe that she really stood before him.  He didn’t want to leave her.  He wanted to explain everything.  Right now.  But he understood her desire to keep that conversation away from her daughter and her celebratory night.  He nodded and did as she asked.  As he walked away, he heard her voice behind him.

            “You were wonderful, sweetheart.”  Rey’s voice shook as she spoke.

            “Who is that, mum?”

            Silence.  “I’ll tell you later.  Let’s go and find Finn.”

            Ben waited for ages before Rey finally appeared, smoothing her dress with shaking hands.  She stood in front of him, shoulders squared for whatever she was about to hear, and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear.  Ben had remained stubbornly behind the stage.  He’d gone over to the other set of stairs to give instructions for packing up the equipment but hadn’t gone up again.  No.  If Rey chose to avoid him, she could do so, but his own stupidity wouldn’t be the reason why this time.

            She had come after all.

            “You didn’t expect to see me,” her voice held no question.

            “No,” his voice cracked.  “I came for work.  With Millennium Falcon Records.”

            Rey nodded once but didn’t meet his eyes.  An uncomfortable silence settled over them.  Both opened their mouths several times but closed them again without saying anything.

            “I lost your number,” he blurted finally.  Her hazel eyes found his for the first time.  “I couldn’t find the paper again.  I searched everywhere.  I…”  He scrubbed his hands through his hair and laughed at his own desperation.  “God, this is so stupid.  It’s been ten years.”

            “Nine,” she corrected.

            “Nine,” he agreed.  “You probably forgot about me.”

            That startled a laugh out of her, a fragile, broken sound.  “Forgotten?”  A tear slipped down her cheek.  “How can I?  Your goddamn eyes stare back at me every day.”

            His heart stopped again.  He wasn’t sure it would start back up again this time.  He thought he understood.  His sluggish brain couldn’t seem to keep up.  Rey froze, as if realizing what she’d just said.  “She’s…”  He had to try three times before he could form the sentence.  “She’s…mine?”  Rey raised her jaw in stubbornness.  “I mean…my daughter?”

            “No,” Rey snapped.  “She’s my daughter.”  She finally did shove him.  “I raised her.”  She choked on her own tears.  “I raised her.  You weren’t there.”  He deserved that, he supposed.  “She…she…god, she looks so much like you!”

            Rey finally broke down and Ben reached out to her hesitantly.  When she didn’t shrug off his hand on her arm, he tucked her into his chest.  She sobbed against his shirt while he summoned his courage and rubbed soothing circles into her back.  Until she gathered herself and shoved him again.

            “What do you want, Ben?” she demanded.

            “A chance,” he pleaded.  “A chance to start again.  Or move forward.  As friends, as acquaintances, as whatever you want.  I’ll take what I can get.”  He glanced back up towards the stage, where he knew Melody must still be.  Melody.  She’d named their daughter after the music they both shared.  “I don’t want to leave again.”  Rey hesitated.  “Just start with dinner.”

            They did start with dinner later that week.

            Melody was invited to play again at Music in the Park the next year.  That time, Ben stood with his arm around Rey in the wing of the stage.  The hand resting against his chest wore a ring that glittered in the light cast from the stage.

Notes:

That's a wrap! Thank you everyone! Leave comments and let me know what you thought about the ending