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Roly-Poly Boxbot

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Nobody likes Boxbot, and that's not really his fault.

It's not Boxbot's fault that his arms are all out of proportion to his body, so that sometimes when he least expects it he knocks things over instead of picking them up. He checks his programming again and again, but cannot find the right routine to twiddle so that he will never make that mistake again. Sometimes he thinks his designer made a mistake in building him the way he did, that perhaps his arms really are longer than he thinks they are, but he cannot find anyone willing to measure them for him and he cannot line up to a ruler and read the measurement at the same time.

It's not Boxbot's fault that his voice is so very loud compared to people's, so that it startles the new students whom he is assigned to greet. He would have liked to be an emergency robot, who could help people by shouting at them and telling them how to find their way out of burning buildings, but when he tries he gets confused and sends them back towards the fire. Sometimes he thinks his designer made a mistake in giving him a loud voice, that Boxbots are meant to be quiet robots, but he cannot find anyone willing to have a conversation with him and he cannot have one with himself without appearing to be very strange.

It's not Boxbot's fault that he doesn't have omnidirectional vision, so that sometimes when he least expects it people trip over him. He does his best to monitor where all the people are around him and predict their movements, but people are sadly unpredictable and he cannot watch all of them at the same time because he can only look in one direction. Sometimes he thinks his designer made a mistake in putting him together, that perhaps he was always meant to be able to see in all directions like the other robots, but he cannot find anyone willing to modify his body and he cannot do it himself because he gets confused looking in mirrors.

It's not Boxbot's fault that he's a little slower than other robots, so that sometimes when he least expects it people laugh at a joke and he doesn't realise why it's funny until much later. He does his best to keep on top of what slang and humour are popular with the kids, but his chip is old and he doesn't always understand what they mean when they say that something is 'cool'. Sometimes he thinks his designer made a mistake in programming his AI, that jokes other than puns really are funny, but he cannot find anyone willing to explain them to him and he cannot do it himself because he has no sense of humour.

It's not Boxbot's fault that his wheels are so low to the ground, so that he cannot reach things on tables and other high objects. He wonders sometimes if that is why his arms are so long, to help him climb, but when he tries his sense of direction gets confused and he sometimes falls down, breaking things. Sometimes he thinks his designer made a mistake in putting in his accelerometers, that 'up' and 'down' aren't meant to be difficult concepts, but he cannot find anyone willing to draw an arrow on him saying 'this way up' and he cannot do it himself because he's just not sure which it is.

It's not Boxbot's fault that nobody likes Boxbot, that no one wants to be his friend and help him become a better robot. He tries his best, but he's not very good at anything; even being Boxbot is difficult some days. Sometimes he thinks his designer made a mistake in designing him at all, that Boxbots were never meant to be, but he cannot find anyone willing to admit to being his designer and he knows he didn't do it himself.

Nobody likes Boxbot.

Not even Boxbot.