Part 1 – Magnus’s POV
Fifth time since morning. 6 girls. And it’s not even lunch time yet.
2 more girls walked past me when I noticed both of them were crying. I had to laugh, in my head though. How in the name of God, both of them, best friends, tried out for same thing, both got rejected at the same moment and now both are crying together in each other’s arms - I simply don’t understand. I think you’ll laugh at the reason too. Both asked the Alec Lightwood for prom date and both got rejected, politely.
There’s still 3 days to go for prom. And the most handsome guy in the school was yet to get a partner. Everyday more girls asked him and all of them got rejected. I have to wonder if there’s any girl left here to ask him. I wonder why he hasn’t accepted any of them. I looked away from the girls and saw him at the end of the corridor. He was standing there in all black, as usual, holding a few books in his hands, other one holding the strap of the bag on the shoulder. He shook his head lightly, probably in annoy and walked to the boy’s locker room.
Oh, I must tell you, he’s not only the most handsome one. He’s the guy of the school. He’s captain of the basketball team, coach of the junior team, more than 6 feet tall, dark black messy hair, striking hazel eyes, chiseled mouth, sharp jaw, long legs and all. He’s the complete package for a high school boyfriend. And yes, I can give a description of him like that. I’m bisexual for heaven’s sake, I’m allowed to look at him like that… not that I… do.
He’s also a giant ball of sweetheart I might add. He doesn’t flirt with the cheerleaders, he doesn’t behave like a true jock or bully anyone. He actually carried a box of tissue to offer those girls who cried after he turned them down. For last two weeks, that has been the true scene of this school. Every single girl mourning over how sweet Alec Lightwood is and yet not going to the prom. Just because he won’t say yes to anyone, they all thought he wouldn’t go. What rubbish. Then who will be the prom king if not him? Please God, not Jace Lightwood.
Part 2 – Magnus’s POV
Another class. 3 more girls. I’ve lost count. Alec should get a refill of tissue box now.
Anyway, I went to the cafeteria and waited for two of my best friends to come and join. Just when I slid on the empty table where the group usually sat, I felt them. The redhead slid on left and the blackhead, on right. Thank heavens they weren’t whining like other girls. Otherwise I may’ve punched Alec once, just once. Come on, his pretty face shouldn’t be marred, definitely not before prom. He’d kill me then.
“Yello Izzy, what’s up?”
“I’m having a really good day.” she giggled with Red.
“Laughing at the expense of your brother huh!” I smirked
“Oh don’t pout. I know you’re enjoying too.”
“Yeah, happy that you’re his sister and Red got asked by queen blondie before she made the mistake.” Izzy laughed with me as Clary glared at both of us.
“First of all, I wouldn’t ask Alec, never. Yikes. He’s like a brother, dude.” She made a face, “And second, don’t call Jace, blondie queen. Just blondie is fine.” Izzy and I paused for a moment and then we all were hugging our stomach in laugh.
“Both my brothers are ass.” Izzy chirped between breaths.
So, time for some intro here, Izzy aka Isabelle Lightwood is the 2nd of Lightwood siblings, Alec is first, and Izzy’s 19 minute older brother. They really don’t look much alike than the mesmerizing beauty and dark black hair. Izzy has brown eyes. Quite shorter than Alec. She’s the fashion queen, technically making her my shopping partner. 3rd Lightwood is Jace, the blondie. He was adopted at young age after his parents died. They were family friends. And 4th and last one is Max, the cute and sweet one. He’s still in junior school, kinda mixture of all his siblings. He’s got Alec’s built, Izzy’s fashion sense and Jace’s humor, basically making him the best of Lightwood siblings.
And obviously I’m Magnus. Clary is my adopted sis. Luke and Jocelyn saved me after my dad almost killed me in drunken state. He’s in jail, thanks to Luke, he’s a cop. I was 2 when my mother died. Frays are the only family I’ve always known. Sometimes I worry he’ll come back in my life but Jocelyn says he’s in there for life. I’m still scared some nights. I have three friends from science club, Ragnor, Catarina and Raphael. And Simon joined the group couple of months ago when he finally managed to ask Izzy out without fainting. To his good fortune, Izzy liked him too. So yes, this basically makes me the nerd head of the group.
Part 3 – Alec’s POV
“I swear on God, Jace, I’m gonna run away. I can’t take this anymore.” I sat on the bench opening a water bottle over my head.
“Cool down buddy. You knew this was gonna happen. Everybody wants you. BTW, tissue was a bad idea.”
“It was a good idea. I don’t know why they all thought to ask me but surely they didn’t deserve to be turned down. That was the least I could offer.” I was annoyed.
“And that my dearest buddy, makes you hot among girls. They tend to run in circles around those softies.” Jace smirked.
“Shorty must be blind then.” The smirk was gone and replaced by a grumpy face. I couldn’t stop my laugh.
“Ha ha ha. At least she can make you laugh at my cost. You should be thankful to both of us Mr. Grumpy.” Now I stopped laughing. There was a moment of glaring between us until we both were shaking heads in laugh and pulling our bags out of the locker. We walked to the café.
Jace promptly slid beside Clary and hugged her as I watched my sister snogging the dork. I don’t know what she saw in Simon but I’m glad that he’s one of those good men. Maybe because he’s the second man, after dad, in her life who calls her ‘princess’ and mean it. I’m still not okay with their PDA all the time but at least he lets go a bit when he sees me. Then I noticed the table. The last empty sit was right in front of Magnus. God damn it. I can’t sit there and hear his snarky comments with those chocolate brown puppy eyes. So I thought better. I pushed Jace.
“What the fuck?”
“Move your snogging ass.” I pushed him more until Clary moved to the end of the low bench and sat in front of Magnus and I get to sit on front of Simon, glaring at him. I could swear Jace mumbled something really bad at me. I looked at him and with the corner of my eye I saw Magnus, chuckling at something all by himself, head down and shaking so others wouldn’t notice. Yeah Magnus, I’m the amusing one here. Close your cherry lips so I can’t see your pearl white teeth. Damn my unfiltered brain!
Part 4 – Magnus’s POV
I wanted to laugh out loud but I didn’t. I didn’t wanna embarrass Alec. I knew he’d do anything to avoid me in public. I think it’s since I found him in a corner in school library, sitting on the floor with 5 different biology book, a pencil between his lips and a spec on his nose. I had to stop for a minute and really look at him to believe it really was Alec Lightwood. That’s when I found out other than trying to get a full ride for basketball, he was cramming for getting into a medical school. The jock actually wants to be a doctor. But what really got to me was that black, full rimmed, rectangular shape and very normal spec. His messy tousled hair flopping just over his forehead. He was looking so fucking sexy and cute at the same time. I didn’t mean to stare and daydream about me being that pencil but he caught me and I saw a frisson of alarm in his eyes. He literally begged me to promise him to keep his secret. Who knew Alec has that in him?
I don’t understand why he always kept so many secrets about himself, even though he’s got this super cool family. His parents are lawyers. They travel a lot. So from young age Alec took the responsibility of his siblings. He’s caring, smart and sweet. He always put his family before him. That’s why he is the best captain our school has had in a long time. He cares about the team like a family. Everybody loves him.
I was concentrating on my food and the chatter around me until I saw Derek coming toward him.
“Hey Alec, can we talk for a moment? Or will you meet me after school?” Derek is one of those up front and no nonsense kind of guy who laid his hand quite seductively on Alec’s shoulder. And like the ignorant fool he is, Alec didn’t notice. Derek is also the chief editor of school magazine and very gay.
“Now’s good.” I don’t know why Alec stood up to talk to Derek and they walked a couple of feet away from the table, talking about something. Then Derek suddenly gave him a one arm hug and I... I froze. Alec hugged him back before he came to sit. I saw red. I had the urge to murder.
“What was that about?” Jace whispered to him but I could still hear them. The table was small that way.
“Oh nothing. He was asking for prom date.” Alec’s head hang low, I couldn’t see his eyes. But others at the table heard him and there was sudden silence. He also felt it and looked up to all with confusion. I didn’t see but I could feel 4 set of eyes jumped between Alec and me before they all started a hasty talk. He was looking at me but I had to look down. So he is going to prom with…Derek? That’s freaking unbelievable.
Part 5 – Alec’s POV
“You asked Derek? To prom? As your date? Or did he ask you?” subtlety was never Jace’s strong suit and everybody heard him.
Shit, shit, shit. I fucked it up. Me and my unfiltered mouth. It totally came out wrong. I didn’t think twice before repeating Derek’s question to Jace. I should’ve remembered that others can hear us too. Jace and Izzy know and support me and others being my friends have an inkling I believe. But I’ve never stated it to them for a fact. I guess I’m still a bit closeted. Shit. It was a huge mistake. Of course they’re now thinking that I’m going with Derek, definitely because of the hug.
“What? No!” I panicked. Magnus was hanging his head down but others looked at us. “Derek was asking about prom date because he’s making the seating arrangement. I was yet to let him know my date. So I told him I’m not going.”
And that’s it. Everybody looked at me wide eyed, like I’ve blasted a bomb at them. Magnus’s head shot up too, his brown eyes fixed at me, searching for an eye contact. The hell, I’m going to look at him. He can stew for all I care. He’s the one who started this mess.
“What? I thought it’s an excuse to ditch girls.” Izzy blurted out. I looked at her. Both Izzy and Jace mouthed ‘sorry’, realizing their mistake. Damn, it was getting too much.
“No Izzy, I didn’t lie to ditch girls. I’m really not going because I… I just… I don’t want to go.” Jace tried to grab my hand but I stormed out. I really needed to get out of there. It escalated too quickly. I couldn’t look them in the eye and let them judge me in front of the whole school. Was it too obvious that I don’t wanna take a girl but someone else? Did I really almost accept that I don’t wanna go because I don’t wanna be there alone? Because there’s only one with whom I wanna spend that night. Yes, I’m gay. Nobody knew that except Izzy and Jace. So thanks to them, everybody’s suspicion got real now.
Part 6 – Alec’s POV
On usual days, a pissed me would go to the basketball ground and practice. But today I went to library. I needed the comfort of the hard, cold concrete floor and smell of books. I just plucked out a random book and sat at the farthest corner, on the ground, cross-legged.
And I didn’t read a single line. It was open in my hands and I just stared at it. I could still feel eyes of my friends staring at me. But in the end all those eyes mixed together made those clear chocolaty brown eyes that ran chills in my bones.
“Hey.” I looked up. Max stood there with his bag.
“Izzy sent you?”
“Both.” He sat in front. I put the book down and pulled him closer. He sat between by legs and slumped in my arms. I felt like the first day I held him in my arms at the hospital. The shrieking baby calming at my touch was a happy memory. We sat in silence, he played with my fingers.
“You’re really not going?” Max asked. I shook my head. “Can I go for you?” he looked at me.
“No Max. It’s a senior prom. You’ll have your own too.” I hugged him closer.
“Izzy said sorry.”
“It’s your last one.”
“Jace is a jerk.”
“I know.” And then I noticed what I said. I looked down at Max and he was smiling. “Max, what did I tell you about words?”
“You didn’t deny.” He smiled like the true mischievous kid he is.
“Yeah, a dollar in the jar.”
“Sure dada.” I had to smile. It was our personal joke.
With our parents always at work, I stayed with Max. When he started talking, his first word was ‘duh-duh’. Everybody was home on that Sunday morning. Izzy and Jace were struggling to feed him while I was busy helping mom to make breakfast. Dad was busy somewhere but they all became silent and stared at bawling Max who vehemently rejected the spoon and cried that word. Naturally dad thought it was for him. So he practically ran to Max. I heard stories that both Izzy and my first words were ‘mama’. So Max saying ‘dada’ was a really precious moment for him. But there was something wrong. Dad tried to take him in arms and calm him down. Instead he just kicked dad right in the face. Everyone was huddling over him, urging him say the word again. When I heard him still crying, I had to go and see. As soon as I picked him up in my arms, he just stopped. He patted my face with his little hands and said the word for the second time, ‘dud-duh’. I swear, I almost fainted. It took all of us a certain time to realize Max called me ‘dada’. And the sappy, little emotional I was, I hugged Max and cried. Tears of happiness ran down my face. He never stopped calling me that.
Part 7 – Magnus’s POV
If you ask me again, I’ll totally deny it. But yes, I was worried about Alec. We all understood Jace and Izzy slipped up. It was his secret and his choice. He isn’t ready. He doesn’t trust his friends yet to share that and that’s what made him panic. So after he left, Izzy and Jace left too, muttering sorrys. Simon and Clary left together for their next class. I went to the basketball court to find Alec but it was empty. When I saw Max going to the library, I went after him. And sure enough Max found Alec, sitting at his favorite corner, holding a book upside down. Max sat with Alec and they talked. I hid myself behind a bookshelf. I tried not to hear their conversation but I had to when I heard the word ‘prom’.
“Why don’t you wanna go to prom? I thought you wanted to go and enjoy, for one time. You never went to any school dance. Why change your mind?”
“I just don’t wanna go Max. I was excited before. But everyone expects me to take a girl there. I don’t wanna go and be alone.”
“Don’t think what others want. Do what you want. Don’t you wanna ask… someone?”
Alec was silent for a moment. Max looked at him expectantly. And so did I.
“No.” Alec finally said.
“I don’t know why you don’t make Jace put a dollar in the jar. Why only me?”
“Izzy and I put dollars in the jar.” Alec finally looked at Max at the sudden change of topic. I almost yelled at Max for changing the topic. Why didn’t he ask who Alec wanted to ask for prom! Ugh! A name would’ve seriously helped.
“And Jace? He swears the most.”
Alec laughed, pure and simple, and I wondered when the last time I saw him like that. Oh, I know, exactly 20 days ago.
“Who do you think pays for your galaxy bars every Sunday?”
“That’s him? Oh.” Max stood up suddenly after giving a kiss on Alec’s cheek, “He’s the best bro ever.” He smiled and trailed backwards. Alec sat up looking hurt and shocked.
“You get back here right now Maxwell Lightwood. No more Choco chip cookies for you.” Alec hissed, smiling.
“I love you too dada.” Max whispered loud enough for all of us to hear and ran away. Alec sat there smiling to himself, “Love you too baby boy.”
And I still don’t get the joke. I couldn’t ask any of them because then they’d ask how I got to know when Max just uses that around his family and in private. Now it’s wrong to eavesdrop and then get caught by own admission. I saw the long look on his face. I just wanted to be with him and hug him and tell him that it’s okay. But I can’t. Alec has pushed me away, for 18 days.
Part 8 – Alec’s POV
I don’t know what Magnus Bane thinks of himself but he’s an ass. If he really thought I couldn’t see him lurking behind the bookshelf, he’s damn wrong. If he really thought I didn’t know he’s listening to Max and me, well, he’s still damn wrong. Unfortunately I know these bookshelves well enough to notice that there’s an inch gap between books and upper shelves. I could see his green jacket through that gap. Only Magnus Bane in this whole school can pull off a jacket fashioned with glitter. Only Magnus Bane would be annoying enough to dress up that sexy in school. Only Magnus Bane would care enough to come after me even when my siblings know to back off.
As much as I’d love to sneak up on him from behind, my phone rang, a message.
<Can we meet? Please?>
If there’s anyone else who could be more annoying than Magnus, that’d be my siblings, especially Jace. I replied back.
<At the parking. Be there in 5. I’m leaving.>
I walked out of the library but didn’t see Magnus. I was at the parking, opening the door of the car when Jace came, with Izzy.
“I’m sorry Alec. Please forgive me.” Izzy almost cried.
“I’m sorry too buddy. We slipped up. It was wrong of us. We’re really sorry. I just got excited that finally you decided to come out.” Jace was sad too.
“It’s okay. It’s done.” I said.
“Sure you don’t wanna go? You really wanna miss prom because of a stupid date?”
“That’s bullshit bro. We’ll be there too. We’ll go there together and we’ll enjoy together. Please Alec, it’s our last dance.”
Usually my siblings pleading and puppy-eyeing me work like a charm but this time it didn’t.
Part 9 – Alec’s POV
“You both know that I’ll be 5th… no, 7th wheeling that night if I go with you. So no, I don’t wanna go there and see all of you enjoying with your partners. I don’t wanna sit on the couch and wait to take you drunks home… or better, I go home alone after giving you two a lecture on safety that none of you would listen and have a real good prom night. And neither do I wanna take someone else for one night just so I don’t feel like an odd wheel. So yes, I’d rather stay with Max and have a slumber party.” Hmm…I sound like a petulant child. But yes, I was angry and sad and annoyed and I burst.
Izzy and Jace flinched, like real. None of them told me but I knew that Magnus was going with Dot. I knew it for 18 fucking days. How could I not notice a girl bragging all the frigging time about having the Magnus Bane as prom date?! I was so busy at glaring at Jace and Izzy and they were at looking at their shoes that none of us saw Max coming out.
“So I have 3 chauffer today. Ahh… it must be my lucky day.” I rolled my eyes. Max really inherited Jace’s humor. “Shall we go now? We need to go shopping for Izzy and Jace, right?” Max was talking to me.
“Why on earth did you have to mention that?” I really succeeded at keeping a straight face.
“Because they need dresses. And I called others too. We’re gonna go shopping.” Max danced a bit and hopped into the car. Before I could stop this from happening, I heard others.
“So I hear little Max is taking us to shopping today.” Magnus smirked at Max and bless that kid for that reply.
“Not really. Alec is driving. So technically he’s taking you to shopping. I can’t get you a fancy suit, Magnus, I’m still a kid. Maybe he will, if you smile at him like that.” Max shamelessly winked at me when nobody saw. Oh yes, Max is the only one to know the real truth.
I really wanted to stare at the priceless look on Magnus’s blushing red face but I chose to get in the car. Magnus gave an awkward smile before muttering, “Kid Jace.” He got in front at the passenger seat. Others crammed in the back with Max on Simon’s lap.
“Watch your head kiddo.” And I drove off.
Part 10 – Magnus’s POV
Never ever I imagined Max getting sassy with me. But he got me today. I had to think if he knows something that I don’t. Maybe everybody by now understands the coldness between us. But nobody knows I’d do anything to overcome that. Alec and I are different but I’d still like to be his friend. His real friend, with whom he can talk and share things, like before. I don’t understand what is wrong between us.
The ride to the mall was short though we all could feel Alec wasn’t happy to be there with us. Once we reached the mall, we entered the same store. Izzy and Clary went to the women’s section with Max while Simon and Jace to the men’s, leaving Alec and me awkwardly to follow. I went after the girls, Alec to the boys.
The girls finished really soon because they had come before and chosen their stuffs. They just paid the bill and collected the dresses. So we went to meet others.
“Simon, I’m wearing blue. You get the other one.”
“But I saw the blue one first.”
“There’re others too. Stop fighting like children.”
“Alec, I want the blue one.”
“Alec, the blue one suits me best, brings my eyes out.” I could imagine Jace batting his eyelashes.
“Stop you both or I’m gonna leave and take the car with me, I swear.”
We heard the bickering and it wasn’t hard to recognize who said what. When we reached the commotion, we saw a salesman held a blue suit and stared at the three teenagers shouting and hissing and complaining at each other. Jace was clutching a different blue suit. Simon tugged at it by the arms trying to get it out of Jace’s grip. Jace looked annoyed at Simon who looked pleading at Alec. Alec just stood in the middle like a defeated parent, shaking his hands and head, “I’m done. I’m literally done with you two.”
Suddenly like he’s got a brilliant idea, Alec snatched the suit out of both of their grip. “You know what? Nobody’s getting this one. I mean it, none of you.” Jace and Simon looked like sad kids who just got denied ice-cream, at Alec. Izzy, Clary and Max started to laugh so loud that even the salesman couldn’t hold himself back anymore.
Part 11 – Magnus’s POV
Before they started to fight again, Max and I took Simon away to the other side and Izzy and Clary took Jace away to the other. I saw how Alec still stood in the middle still holding the blue suit, caressing the material.
Jace finally chose a black one. And thank heavens Max and I managed to get Simon a dark maroon one. They both looked so handsome. Now it was time for me to choose something. Clary, Izzy and Max helped me plucking up the best ones from each row but I got my eyes locked on one that literally was behind Alec, on the mannequin, the grey one. It looked checkered because of the two different thread design. The trouser was also of same design. It looked simple yet stand-out. Izzy noticed my eyes and we got that one for me, paired with wine red shirt and black tie. I knew it was going to be a really beautiful outfit.
Truly speaking, I was a bit shocked at Jace’s and Simon’s choice. Because that blue one was really one of the best one in the store. Dark blue material with intricate thread design in self color in leafy pattern. It was really beautiful and elegant. But Alec took it off the shelf, so I couldn’t get that either.
When we were done and about to leave, we noticed that we’ve lost Alec and Max. After few minutes of searching, we saw Max coming out from the far end of the store, grinning like a loon.
“What are you on about?” Izzy asked.
“Where’s Alec?” Jace enquired.
“He’s… there he is.” Max looked behind us and we saw Alec purchasing something. “He got me my first suit. The blue one you two were fighting on, Alec got me that one.” Max looked at Alec with heart-eyes. Izzy and Jace smiled at each other.
“That one fitted you?” Jace put his arm around Max’s shoulders.
“No. Alec requested them to find one of my size. They had it.” Max’s eyes watered.
It really was a happy moment for Lightwood siblings. Clary had explained me the tradition when Luke had taken to get me my first suit. That’s what a father does, gets his son his first suit. So I understood Max’s happiness. As Mr. Lightwood missing most of the time for work, Alec grew up to fill his father’s shoes in his siblings’ life. Buying the first suit for his baby brother made Alec a father figure in Max’s life. I had to smile too when Alec came back with the bag and gave it to Max. Clary took a picture of them at that moment, just like she did on mine.
Part 12 – Magnus’s POV
Max hugged Alec tightly. “Thanks Alec.”
“Anything for you baby boy.” Alec bent and kissed on Max’s head. “Let’s go home.” Alec declared and one by one they all walked ahead, leaving Alec and me behind.
For 18 days Alec has been avoiding me and I have no idea why. I don’t know what I did that took my Alexander away from me all of a sudden. We were walking side by side, both silent and engrossed in our thoughts until our hands touched making me shiver. I suddenly realized Alec hasn’t touched me for 20 days and I was craving for that. We both looked up at the same time. Our eyes met and I really wanted to talk to him. I wanted to ask him why he was avoiding me. Alec jerked his face away and walked faster.
“Alec wait.” I caught up to him and held his wrist. He snatched it out of my grip. I stood stunned. Still unable to understand what I have done to deserve that coldness from him. “Alexander, please…” I searched for his eyes, “I miss you.”
He didn’t say a word. He just looked away and clenched his jaw.
“You’re not going to talk to me, will you?” I couldn’t see his eyes. It was so frustrating.
“God damn it Alexander, talk to me. At least tell me what I’ve done.” He finally looked at me but the look on his face, I knew he wouldn’t talk.
“Fine. Don’t talk. I just want you to be happy. And please, come to the prom. Your siblings and friends, they all want you to enjoy. They’ll miss you if you don’t go.” I stepped closer to him raising my hands, my intentions clear. I wanted to touch him, feel his soft skin. But he stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest. A protective posture. He was closing himself away.
“I’m not going Magnus. I meant it when I said it at school. I am not going.” Alec turned and walked away, leaving me stunned and bereft. Why do I have this gut wrenching feeling that it’s all because of me?
Part 13 – Alec’s POV
I wanted to punch Magnus, really. But how could I? How could I punch that beautiful face that I’ve fallen in love with so much? I know I am a jerk. But Magnus is worse. I thought he’s the genius one, participating in math Olympiad and all. But no, he’s jerk, just like me. How could he not even understand what’s going on? How could he do that to me? After I let him get close to me! God I wish I wasn’t such a jerk and let him in.
Angry and annoyed, I practically ran to the car, unlocked the door and helped Jace to put the shopping bags away.
“Jace, front.” Jace looked at me awed because I never let him get in the front. He fidgets a lot. But I didn’t want Magnus to sit there with me. I could feel the sadness on his face without even looking at him. Well, if he wants to be clueless, I can be harsh too. Right now I just wanna go home without getting distracted by an Adonis, namely Magnus, sitting right beside me. I don’t know what I’d do if he tries to talk to me one more time.
The ride was deathly silent. Not even Max said a word. I went to the Fray house first. Clary and Magnus decided to have a movie night and invited us all right on the front porch. So I dropped them all there and drove off. I knew everybody was hurt when I left like that but I told them I have to go for practice. I couldn’t bear to spend a night at the Fray’s where I know I’d end up sitting beside Magnus and halfway through a dumb movie I would lean my head on his shoulder and sleep. I could not bear all that right now. I had to go. I needed some time to myself.
For the first time in my ever scheduled life, I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t sit in the car parked in front of the Fray house. So I drove, aimlessly. And I was back at the mall. That shocked me too. But the constant nagging idea since we left after shopping, surfaced. I went inside.
Part 14 – Magnus’s POV
“What do you guys want for dinner?”
Clary and Izzy were trying to find a movie. Simon and Jace were busy looting my stash of nachos, chips, popcorns and crackers.
“Pizza!” 5 different voice screamed altogether. I sighed. Why did I even ask them! I picked up the phone to order. Luke and Jocelyn promptly left after we came back. They are having a date night. That made me think about Alec. I was dying to know where he took off to because I know he doesn’t have practice this afternoon. Court is closed for the decoration of prom. And just like me everybody noticed that he lied and was desperate to be alone. I almost dialed his number when Izzy dragged me out excitedly for the movie. But all I wanted was to sit with Alec like we always did on movie nights and watch him sleep. Man, that’s the most beautiful scene I can ever see in my life, my Alexander, sleeping, in my lap, so I could twirl his hair or touch his face, maybe steal some kisses in the dark.
It was a boring night. Because I was the one who slept during the movie and with a different Lightwood. Max didn’t want to watch the movie because he wanted to raid Clary’s comic collection. When I went to my room, I saw Max in my bed. He fell asleep with a comic book in hand. I didn’t wake him up but slept beside him. Just before that I checked my phone. Nothing from Alec. I called him but it went to voicemail. I left a message. <Where are you? Call me when you get this. Please. I… uh, we’re worried.> Should I be scared?
It was tiring day. I fell asleep.
Part 15 – Alec’s POV
I woke up at 7, knocked on three door, yelled three names and went to the kitchen. I was still sleepy. I pressed the coffee machine and put a pan on stove, still rubbing my eyes. And then I remembered. Nobody’s home. They spent the night at Fray’s. So I turned off the stove and went to the couch. My phone on the coffee table got my attention, 5 missed calls, 3 messages, 1 voice message. I rolled my eyes. There’s no point in checking those anymore, except the one text from mom. As usual, they’ll miss the prom, they’re sorry, they’ll be back on Tuesday. Great. I lied down on the couch.
I woke up suddenly and checked my phone. Shit, it was 8:20. I overslept. It was last day of school before prom and I didn’t wanna be late. I ran to my room, took a shower, slipped into some random clothes, took my bag, keys and out. Nobody came back, so I assumed they used the spare clothes they keep at Fray’s. Sleepovers on school days are quite frequent.
I entered the school and nobody approached me today. I sighed. So I literally turned down every girl at school who wanted to ask me out. Great achievement Alec! I should pat my shoulder. It was the last day. So the teachers wished us good luck for our future. Students laughed and talked and took pictures and promised to be in touch and all. My teammates and I signed each other’s jerseys and we had our last huddle with a final roar. It was a great journey with them. I saw my siblings and Frays together with Magnus’s friends from science club and…Dot, clinging on Magnus. Everyone was wearing normal clothes except Magnus. Well, it’s a sad day for him. It’s the last day he get to show this school how fabulously good looking he is. How sexy he can look in simple clothes. And I sighed again.
Everyone was excited about prom. 20 days ago I was too, when they announced it. I was with Magnus hiding in a broom closet when we heard the announcement and I saw his eyes lighting up, twinkling with excitement. He was so happy that it made me happy. His smile made me smile. And for the first time, right now, I felt a pang in my heart. I felt bad for missing this prom. I really was looking forward to it, to attend my final prom with the man I love. But no, I can’t have that. I’m left alone on prom because I’m reluctant to go with someone else. I walked away. Because if I’d stay, I’d really cry. I was planning for a surprise and I got surprised instead, big time.
Part 16 – Magnus’s POV
I wish I had some device to know what’s happening in people’s head or the power to read minds. Because then I’d read Alec. Everybody was happy, smiling and all. I saw him laughing with his teammates. But I know him. That smile didn’t touch his eyes. He was literally sad and he was trying his best to hide it. But how can he hide it from me when I can read his eyes? Well, I wish I could just read the reason too, off his eyes.
I saw him going out without saying anything. We still have graduation day. But everyone was still celebrating. I went after him. I can’t give up on my best friend, can I?
“Alec? Alec! Alexander, wait” I ran after him to the parking lot. He stopped but didn’t look back.
“Alec look at me.” He didn’t turn. So I grabbed his arm, turning him forcefully. I was stumped. Cause he… he was crying.
“Go away Magnus.” He walked away. I chased after him and grabbed his arm again.
“No. Not before you tell me what’s going on.” I managed to make him face me but he stood hanging his head low.
“Hey, look at me, look at me Alexander.” I cupped his face and made him look up. His eyes were red and filled with tears. His nose was adorably red. I wiped a tear that escaped. He closed his eyes and leaned his face in my palm.
“Can we stop doing this, please? 18 days. Almost 3 weeks you didn’t talk to me properly. You didn’t reply to any of my messages, didn’t take my calls. You didn’t stay last night.” I stroke his cheek, “Alec, I miss you, really. I was worried about you. You have no idea how painful it was for me to see you every morning for 20 days and not being able to kiss you. Since the day prom was announced, that was the last time I saw you being you, Alec, smiling, happy. What happened? Why are you hurting me Alec? What have I done?”
Alec suddenly looked me straight in the eye, frowning. He stepped away from me again. His voice was barely audible. “I’M hurting you? Really Magnus? I’M hurting you? How could you be so clueless?”
I don’t know what he meant. I just stood there without any answer and watched him drive away.
Part 17 – Alec’s POV – Prom day
“Hey Alec, would you mind if they come here to get ready?” Izzy poked her head through the door of my room in the morning. They were up early in excitement.
“Fine.” I didn’t protest because then I’d get to see him… them all together, dressed up.
“You still can change your mind Alec. We can find something for you in dad’s wardrobe maybe.”
“Dad’s suits don’t fit me Iz, you know that. So stop trying.” I groaned and went to the bathroom before Izzy could say anything else.
The day was lazy until right after lunch Simon came and after him Magnus and Clary. Izzy dragged Clary in her room as they’re supposed to help each other with whatever they do. Jace holed up in his room doing Heaven knows what. Max ran away from his room because of Simon. I didn’t know he could be scary sometimes. And Magnus practically threw me out of my room and locked the door. So Max and I lounged on the couch with a bowl of popcorn.
“It’s gonna be a long day!” Max sighed with me.
Couple of hours later, Simon came out first, then Jace and then the girls. Magnus was yet to come. But I knew he’d take his sweet, sweet time to get ready. They all gathered in the hall as Max went to fetch his camera.
“You’re looking beautiful, like a true princess.” Izzy snuggled into my arms as I whispered in her ear, kissing her hair. She blushed as the color of her dress, bright red.
Clary wore an emerald green long gown which somehow really contrasted with her flame red hair. Jace looked gorgeous beside her, his hair gelled back and all. Simon and Izzy looked like a royal couple, both in shades of red.
“Are we missing something?” Clary murmured slowly and looked around. Everybody frowned at her. Honestly, I was waiting for this moment. Though I didn’t hope everyone will forget the same thing. I was saved by the bell to which Luke and Jocelyn came. Jocelyn was in tears to see Clary, and also Jace. They hugged and cue the entry of the man himself.
I stared mesmerized as Magnus strolled down the hallway, his hips doing that move, his hair perfectly set and his eyes bright, beautiful, bold yet innocent. That suit fitted him perfectly, showing off his every curve and muscle and his long legs. I noticed he didn’t take the tie, instead he left two top buttons open, giving a glimpse of his caramel colored skin and chest and a devilishly sexy look. And no, I don’t have any more words to describe (I’m leaving it to your imagination) my perfect Magnus, who’s going to spend the night with someone else. I felt funny in my chest and stomach, like I’m gonna puke. I turned to leave.
Part 18 – Alec’s POV
When I came back with the boxes, Jocelyn was already putting a silver pendant on Clary. I opened one of the boxes and went to Izzy. I helped her to put on the gold chain with a big ruby stone as locket. It matched with her dress.
“It’s from mom.” Trying to compensate their absence.
“I know when you’re lying.” Well, Izzy caught me. She was hugging me again. I bought it from the mall the other day.
Luke put on a white rose on lapel of Magnus’s suit as I put on the extra one on Simon. He was thanking me a lot because he thought he wasn’t gonna get one. Of course that reminded Jace and Simon that they forgot the flowers for girls.
“You boys should learn something from Alec. He’s saving your graces tonight.” Jocelyn found out the white corsages I got for girls, a gift from me. Jace and Simon put them on their girls’ not before squishing my bones together in a bear hug. I tied the last rose on Jace’s suit. Everybody was in a hugging mood.
Max took pictures, first the Fray family, then Lightwood siblings, then couples, solos, prom group and that last one was everyone together, Max put on the timer. He’s turning out a good photographer. Luke and Jocelyn left after Max promised to send the pictures soon. They all were chatting softly at the hall and posing for Max when I went to get the last gift.
Things were going great. Everybody smiling, hugging, emotional and all. But I looked at Alec and I didn’t feel happy anymore. I was feeling funny in my chest. Something didn’t feel right. I wished I knew a way to convince Alec to come with me… us. His eyes weren’t talking to me anymore. And that frustrated me. I was dying to kiss Alec and drag him with me to the prom. He looked so pale and bags under eyes. I just wanted to know what’s bothering him so I could take those problems away from him.
I was just watching him walk to his room again when Jace and Simon pulled me aside from the girls.
“What?” I asked annoyed because I wanted to go after Alec.
“Keep this. You might need it.” Jace pressed his palm on mine as Simon nodded smiling at me. I looked at them confused. Then I felt it. Jace passed me something between our hands. I pulled my hand away and saw the packet.
“Dude, what the fuck?” I almost yelled, “Why are you giving me… this?” I sniggered.
“If it’s your lucky night, you might need it, with Dot, you know, if… things happen…” Jace smirked and I looked at him horrified. A dark knot tightened in my stomach, a very bad feeling crept up my skin. There was a small thud and we all looked back.
Alec stood at the entrance of the hall, all pale face and slightly… shaking? He just stared at the three of us… or at me, without any expression. A black box tumbled out of his hands that laid at his feet now. He didn’t make any effort to pick it up or something. He just stared at me. His hazel eyes darkening but not in a good way. He gulped once, blinked couple of time and then he turned and went back to his room. I heard the click of the lock.
Part 19 – Magnus’s POV
“What the hell just happened here?” Izzy was the first one to talk. But none of us went after Alec. I went to pick that box. It was small box covered in black velvet. I opened it and I was stunned.
It contained something golden. I pulled it out. It was long chain with a weird looking pendant. But it was stunningly beautiful, glittered with green and red stones. All intricate works and patterns I’ve never seen before. There was a paper in the box, a handwritten note – “It’s a Japanese charm, called Omamori. It’s supposed to bring you good luck and protection. When I saw this I could only think of you and how much I wanna keep you close and safe, in my arms. With this I wanna ask you, Magnus Bane, to be my prom date. And maybe give me an answer to the inscription on back? It’s written in Indonesian, your native language. I’ll wait. Alexander.”
I turned the charm and saw the words. I don’t know what they mean. So I brought out my phone and went to Google. I typed the words and waited for a translation in English. The words stunned the shit out of me as I only heard Max.
“You guys should go now, it’s getting late. You wouldn’t wanna miss anything.” He paused for a moment maybe to look at Jace and Izzy, “It’s okay guys. He’s fine. Just go.” I saw Max going to Alec’s room and knock, “Open up Alec, it’s me.” I realized that Max knew, not Jace, not Izzy. He’s the only one who knew the truth all along.
I heard the click of the lock again and I ran.
I really thought they were gone. Because I didn’t notice how long I was moping over the fact that Jace gave Magnus a… packet, for emergency and safety, with Dot. So he really was going to spend the night with her. Wow, that literally broke something in me. I’ve never felt like this before. Not even when my first crush rejected me. It was hurting, suffocating. Well, I didn’t notice the time. So when I heard Max, I opened the door. Magnus entered barreling in almost knocking me out with the door. He held the omamori charm in one hand and his phone and the note in other.
Shit, shit, shit… the note. I completely forgot, the note was still in the box. Damn me!
“I thought you said you’re not ready to come out to others now. You said you don’t want your friends spend the last month of school judging you. I thought you didn’t want to go with me. You hurt me. You punished me for 18 goddamned days. Why didn’t you tell me?” Magnus’s voice was cold.
“How could you? How could you say that?” I wouldn’t lie. I practically screamed. But Magnus’s expression, he really managed to look shocked and surprised and hurt. “How could you say that I hurt YOU? Did you really think I was enjoying last 18 days? Did you think I was having a good time being unable to kiss you?” Boy was I on roll! “I could tell you the same Magnus. How could you hurt me like that? How could you do that to me?”
“What did I do?” Magnus yelled at the same high.
Part 20 – Alec’s POV
“What did you do? Seriously Magnus? You still don’t understand what did you do? Okay then, let me put it in words that you’ll understand. You accepted Dot’s proposal.” Magnus flinched.
“Weeks before prom was announced I told you that I don’t wanna live the last few months of school under the spotlight of being gay and be gossiped by my friends. It was you who took it as an answer that I don’t wanna go to prom with you. You didn’t even ask me. You didn’t talk to me or wait for me to say something. You didn’t give me time, not even a chance. We could’ve gone together as friends, but no, you just said yes to the first person who asked you as a date.” Magnus looked at me wide eyed. Uncontrolled tears were rolling down my cheeks.
“2 days after prom was announced, I heard Dot in hallway, talking to her friends, telling them the story of how shy she was to ask you for prom, how you blushed and thanked her and finally said yes. How sweetly you promised to take her to shopping. I wondered if you fell for her or something. How could I say anything after that when I start doubting my own feelings? When I doubted our every single touch and kiss and affection we shared for months before that. When I see that one day you’re suddenly ready to go to prom with someone and you didn’t even bother to tell me… I had to think… If all of that was just for fun or meant anything at all. How could I just walk up to you and propose you and ask you to be my date in prom when every day I spent in school with Dot talking about you only? Suddenly wherever you were, Dot was there with you. Damn, I was planning a surprise Magnus, for you. But you surprised me, a good one. You hurt me Magnus, YOU hurt ME.” I stopped, to breathe.
“You love me?” Magnus’s voice was like a whisper, “Aku cinta kamu. That’s what it means in Indonesian.”
“Yes Magnus.” I closed my eyes and rubbed my face with my hands. “I fell in love with you the moment you kissed me in library, when you found me preparing for med school. I begged you to not to tell anyone and you said I need to give you something as a price, remember? And then you walked to me and kissed me and said it’d work. I fell in love with you when hugged me and promised me that it’ll be fine and I should live my dream, when you found my acceptance letter from med school. I fell in love with you when you told me you’re bi as I was too stupid to notice when I told you I’m gay, when you didn’t judge me but supported me. All those movie nights when you let me sleep in your arms, when you helped me with poetry homework, when you drove me home after every tiring practice, when you screamed my name, dancing happily when we won the championship. I’m in love with you Magnus and I wanted to propose you. I wanted to come out, for you, so I have a damn good reason to convince you that you should go to prom with me. Because it’s only you who I wanna be with that night, who I wanna dance with in my first ever school dance. But you couldn’t wait for me, could you?”
I was breathing hard already, all the emotions suddenly draining me, “You knew I’m dull and slow to understand things and emotions and yet you didn’t wait for me. That made me think you know, that you never even considered me for prom.”
I couldn’t stand anymore. I couldn’t fight anymore with Magnus, my very best friend, with whom I hopelessly fell in love. 18 days were tiring enough, 18 days I tried to stay away and forget, drown this stupid ache in my heart. So I sat on my bed burying my head in my hands.
“Dot must be waiting for you Magnus. You should go. It’s not good to promise and then ditch.”
I have no idea how to live with this feeling and stop my stupid tears.
Part 21 – Magnus’s POV
“But you said you don’t want a relationship.” I didn’t even know what I was saying. Alec’s confession hit me straight in the heart. God, I could be so foolish sometimes. How did I even think that if I don’t tell him, he wouldn’t find out about Dot! Damn, I did really hurt him and didn’t even understand it. I’m the worst boyfriend… best friend ever.
“I know. I didn’t want it because then leaving for med school would be harder. But then also I didn’t plan for falling in love with my best friend.”
I laughed. A giggle bubbled out of me in a huge laughter. Seriously. I was even shocked at myself that I still had the audacity to laugh. But my eyes felt wet. “You know you’re a jerk, right?” Alec looked at me like I’ve gone mad or something. Honestly, I felt like a bit mad at the moment. “But I’m a bigger jerk, I have to say.” He still looked at me confused. So I knelt down in front of him and held his hands urging him to look up.
“You know why I said yes to Dot?” Alec just frowned. “It’s because I was scared.” Alec was still frowning but didn’t say anything.
“When you said you don’t want a relationship and don’t wanna come out, I thought, I literally thought you’d go with one of those fan girls of yours, for a cover. When you turned them down, I was pretty much sure you’ll be going alone. I had no idea Alexander, I had no idea that I hurt you so much that you didn’t want to go anymore. I was scared that if I ask you to be my date, you’ll panic and leave me. I didn’t wanna lose my best friend, with whom I ridiculously fell in love, since the moment I kissed you in library that day.”
Alec was staring at me bewildered. “I had feelings for you for some time. That’s why I kissed you that day. I needed to know what my exact feelings are. When I realized… it was scary Alec. You got in med school and I feared of losing you. So I thought not confessing would spare me some pain I wasn’t prepared to handle. And then we started having this unnamed relationship. I was getting addicted of being closer to you. I needed you all the time. So I didn’t stop you when you kissed me in the boys shower for the first time. I didn’t stop you from having secret make out sessions in our rooms in middle of night and kissing every morning in broom closet and bump into you in corridors so I could touch you whenever possible and going to archery range so you could teach me while standing so close that I can feel your whole body against me and God knows what else.” Man, this is hard. It was so easy to bottle everything and shut up inside myself. But once you start, it’s like a fountain that never runs out of water. Words are like water, just with greater effect.
“I was scared of your reaction. I didn’t know what to think, how to define what we were having. I was scared to be heartbroken again. You saved me after Camille. I wouldn’t have anybody left, to save me after you. I couldn’t bear to lose you. I’m so sorry Alexander. Please forgive me.”
The dam broke and I cried. Alec slid down from bed and knelt in front of me.
“I’m sorry Magnus.” He spoke so softly, caressing my knuckles with his thumbs. “Apparently I gave you every reason to do what you did. I’m sorry that I’m so dull to understand your feelings. Forgive me Magnus.” He hugged me and we cried together until I heard him whispering in my ear, “I love you Magnus Bane. And I’m sorry for being the most terrible best friend ever.”
“I love you too Alexander Lightwood. Please, accept my gift and be my date on this prom. Because I only wanna be with you. That’s no prom if I dance without you.” We both looked up breaking our hug at the same time.
“What? What gift?”
I shuffled up and opened the bag in which I had brought my clothes. I pulled out the other zipped bag. Alec recognized it when I handed the bag to him.
“The blue suit.” Alec smiled bright and pulled it out from the bag, “You got it for me?”
“Well, I planned to convince you in a bit different way. But this works too.” Alec smiled at me shy, “Suit up my dear boyfriend. We have a prom to go.” I smiled too. Instead Alec shuffled up on his feet and just decided to wrap his arms around me, pulling me closer and dipping me in a really dramatic way and kissed me, sweet, promising and full of love.
Epilogue – Max’s POV
‘Oh my lovely sweet blessing Jesus. That’s so freaking cute.’ *heart-eyes*
‘Yikes. I’m gonna get diabetes. They’re disgustingly sweet.’ *Eye roll & heart-eyes*
‘Yaay. Finally. Can I lock the door? So they can use the… packet?’ *Giant smile with a smirk*
‘You know what? Open up ground. And swallow me. I’m the worst sister ever who didn’t see this coming. Fuck.’ *Eye roll and sigh*
That’s the expressions of the rest of them while I’m literally fist bumping in the air.
I swear on God, it was hard. It was hard to see that the best brother ever and his best friend, both are same amount of jerk and stupid. I’m not claiming to be the smartest or something but how did Jace and Izzy missed it too? And Clary and Simon as well. How come they didn’t see what I could see for months? How they stared at each other. How Alec always wanted Magnus in front seat. How he always stared at Magnus when they danced or liked the same music as Magnus. How they went missing together in God forsaken hours. How Magnus waited after every game so they could come home together. How they both knew exactly how to help the other. How did nobody notice when Alec slept like a baby in Magnus’s arms in that smallest couch ever at the Fray’s when half the time he fell from his king size bed.
But I have to say, I wouldn’t become sure so much if I hadn’t seen them kissing at that farthest corner of the library, Alec’s favorite place.
And these two, so in love with each other, even I could feel their tension like a thick black cloud around them… finally in each other’s arms, is the best moment so far in my life. Also these two jerks didn’t even notice us at all, standing at the door, seeing and listening to everything. I mean, thank God they didn’t! I really wouldn’t like to ruin their moment just by being there.
Alec deserves all the happiness. Not because he’s my brother or the best one ever. But because all the sacrifices he’s made for us. He never went to any school dance just so he could stay home and babysit me. I hated myself sometimes for being a kid and unable to help Alec in those situations where he never uttered a single word and gave every happiness away. I knew he wanted to drop his dream of med school because he was worried about us. That’s why I submitted his application without him knowing. That’s the least I could do for him. I’m thankful to Magnus for giving him the strength to fight for his own happiness. I’m thankful to God that Alec’s happiness is Magnus. Not everyone finds true love. But I’m glad that they did. Because my brother who became my everything even before any of us understood, needs someone to look after him. I’m happy for him and for Magnus as well.
I feel a bit sorry for Magnus though, cause my over bearing, over protective, over thinking, ever jealous and possessive brother will never ever let him go, not even for a moment.
And they should always be this happy together, like they are now, standing in front of each other. Alec wearing the blue suit which makes him look like a charming, wayward prince. He’s tying the clasp of the charm on Magnus’s neck and Magnus is shuffling to tie the red rose from the vase in the drawing room on his suit. I took another picture, all six of them together, Malec in the middle, both with this super secretive but happy smile on their face and looking in each other’s eyes. And last one of the day was Malec kissing on the doorway, holding onto each other for dear life, before they went out. Best prom ever, can I say that?
I just hope that somebody gets a bucket load of pictures of Malec dancing together.
And before Alec notice, I’ll put a couple of dollars in the jar. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve swore at them by now (wink).