Chapter 1: Hi!
Heyo there random peeps reading this!
I'm new to ao3 so I don't really know how to use the mechanics of it and such. Sooooo, since I don't really have any ideas for updates (so far) I'll just give a basic introduction.
My pen name is Coran, I just recently rebranded. I have a Pinterest and a wattpad account that are both under the username CoranDrawsStuff. I'm not going to be putting my stuff from my Wattpad on here, so if you want to see any of my previous works you gotta go to my Wattpad page. I'm working on rewriting one of my short stories, but it might end up being a very short novel with only two or three chapters. Also, I was working on a book called "Dear Someone" on my Wattpad page. That one is discontinued because I lost my work for the unreleased chapters.
Okay, now that the boring stuff is out of the way, time to write all about myself.
I live in the United States, in the state of Wisconsin which should just be called 2nd Canada. I'm 15, turning 16 soon in January. I know Lilly_Riches in real life, we're best frens. I'm 120% white and I don't follow any religion. I'm short with short hair and no sense of fashion. I'm agender, I use they/them pronouns and it pisses me off when I'm misgendered, especially on purpose. I'm polyromantic, I like who I like, except I don't like boys. I'm kinda artistic and I draw stuff occasionally. Also, I'm in band.
Which reminds me, I have to go to pit band today for the musical we're doing, The Sound of Music. See ya.
P.S. Q&A is now open! ask any questions you have about me. There's still a ton that I haven't shared. They will be answered in the next update (whenever that is lmao schedules are crazy right now)
Chapter 2: 2 Years!
Soooooo today's kinda special mah dudes.
Today marks my 2 year anniversary of being part of the LGBTQ+/SAGA community. Also, I have an announcementttttt to make. I've figured out that I'm panromantic. Yay! Go me. Also, I'm starting to question my gender more.
I've been having pretty bad dysphoria lately which is strange since I usually don't get any. It feels like I don't belong in my body. I look in the mirror and see things that feel like they shouldn't be there. It's like I suddenly grew a third arm or leg and it's so uncomfortable. And I started thinking about it. I know I'm not a girl, but am I a boy? I don't know. I still feel agender, though, too. I think I might be a demiboy, since I feel like a boy but I still feel agender too. I'm still trying to figure it out. For now, I'm still going to use they/them pronouns. And another thing.
To my real life friends who see this, I don't want to be called my birthname. I'm completely fine with the nicknames you use for me, but I don't want to be called my birth name. It feels like it doesn't fit me anymore. I don't know how to explain it. I prefer being called by internet pen-name over my birth name. So, if you call me anything other than the nicknames you already use, call me Ren. And please please please use the correct pronouns. Thanks.
Anywho, I have AP European History homework that I should at least start even though it's not due for a while yet. There's a lot of questions on the document. I don't really know what else to type.
Maybe I can share some stuff about school or my family. Of course, not using real names since it's the internet and such.
Chapter 3: Poetry
So this is gonna be really short, sorry about that. I don't have too much time before I gotta go to sleep.
I'm putting my poems on a site called hellopoetry.com. My username on there is CorenDS, you can find me at this link: https://hellopoetry.com/CorenDS/
I also have many other writings on my inactive wattpad account, as well as old poems there. My username on wattpad should be CoranDrawsStuff. That was before I changed the "a" to an "e" so make sure you type it the right way otherwise it won't go to the page.
I have 2 new poems on hellopoetry that aren't on wattpad, so if you wanna look at those feel free to. I don't like promoting my other pages on here because that isn't really what this journal thingy is supposed to be about. I just wanted to let you guys know that I have a poetry account. Since this isn't a site for poetry, I had to find a website for it.
Anyways, that's all I got for now.
Just a minor update from the last entry two months ago. Also, I have my gender figured out now. I'm a demiboy. Yay, go me. This is probably the millionth time I've changed what gender I am. Let's make a list:
- From when I was born up until about March of 8th grade (2017) when I was 14 I identified as female.
- In March of 2017 I began to identify as Demi-Bigender. From then on, I don't remember the months but I do remember the order in which my gender changed.
- A little while later, I identified as Demi-Genderflux, which is a demi-gender, a fluid-gender and a sub-section of bigender. This one's a little hard to explain. As genderflux, not only does your gender change, but the intensity of your gender also changes. With demi-flux, I had a 'static' gender, a gender that I was at all times, and a fluid gender, a gender that was susceptible to change.
- A few months later, during summer vacation, I identified as Bigender. My pronouns during this and the previous times were she/him.
- Early into my freshman year, September of 2017, I finally settled on Agender which is what I remained for a little more than a year. I was so confused and tired of trying to fall into a category, so I decided that I was me, and that was that. I felt like I was my own gender, not falling under any strict label. I went with Agender, but didn't necessarily use it as a label. I would just say Non-binary to those who asked and leave it at that. I began using they/them pronouns which I still use to this day.
- And finally, as of early December of 2018, I identify as a Demiboy. It's taken me nearly 2 years to discover my gender, and I have a feeling that the journey isn't over yet.
In total, my gender has changed 6 times. I haven't had a binary gender in almost 2 years. I don't think I could ever go back, and I don't want to. In light of recently discovering my partial identity of male, I've been having crushing dysphoria. It's a surreal feeling that you're trapped in someone else's body, that this one you have isn't yours.
Anyways, I've overstayed my welcome. I'm 15 minutes past what my deadline was to be done with this update. Oh well. On a side note, I've decided that this will be the year that I finally come out to my parents about everything.
Stay proud, be strong and don't let anyone tell you who you are. Because only you know. And that's a wonderful thing.
Chapter 4: Schedule Stuff and Pet Peeves
1 month into the second semester, and it's already as busy as the first semester.
My AP Euro teacher assigned us another chapter reading guide, but this time he gave us only a week to complete it. Which sucks. Because I was going to work on it today but I forgot to bring my book home. Anyways, my point is that for most of the week I'll be staying after school for stuff which means late nights to try to get this crap done.
What I'm trying to say is that it's gonna be another long hiatus until Fated, or this thing, is updated again, especially because I plan on actually making the story interesting in chapter 3. I keep thinking "ya know, I could totally just write really crappy and have the entire thing done.", but the whole point of me rewriting it was to make it way better. I don't know where I'm going with this. I should actually be practicing my speech for tomorrow but I already know I'll do good on it cuz I got most of it memorized. The trick is to be confident because if you sike yourself out, you're prepping to do bad.
Alright, so now I'll add a fun little tidbit to this to keep you interested in what I have to say. Because let's face it, reading my mind-vomit is really boring. Maybe I should put some nice life lessons in here later on.
Okey, so imma gonna write about the things that annoy me about this universe. Aka pet peeves, is what they is called.
1. The sound of filing nails
For some reason, that sound really bothers me. And the thought of using a stick of wood to grind down your nails isn't very appealing. My mom files her nails in the living room, of all places. It's like nails on a chalkboard.
2. When people say "you're not even trying."
Because how would they know if I'm trying or not! Unless you're me, you have no purpose in saying that. Just because I'm not living up to your expectations doesn't mean I'm not trying. Saying that to my face makes me feel like all that shit I worked for was worth nothing. I might have a different way of getting things done, but that doesn't mean that I'm not trying.
3. When people ask "did you get a haircut?" when your hair is noticeably shorter
Are you blind?
4. Relatives asking when I'll get in a relationship
None of your damn business. Fuck off. I'm fucking 16, not 25. And maybe I don't want to date anyone right now, ever think of that?
5. Being told to do something when I was already going to.
I already had mentally decided to do it, and your telling me to do it makes me 80% likely to now not do it.
6. People who use their phone while they drive
Look at the road!!!!!!!!!!! That's where the car's going. They're in control of my life at that moment, and they're lookin at their phone. These people scare me.
That's all I got for now,