When Marth first joined Smash Bros back in the good old Melee days, he didn’t really think much of it at all. He thought it would just be tournaments and boring shit. But it ended up being pretty fun and gay and he made lots of friends. He became BFFs with Roy since he thought Roy was pretty hot and could speak Japanese unlike some people with thick Japanese accents.
The duo eventually learned how to speak English but Master Hand said they weren’t allowed to speak English during matches. No one knew why Master Hand decided that but most people assumed it was because he was too lazy to explain why they weren’t speaking Japanese anymore. Marth and Roy didn’t seem to mind that much since it let them beat opposing teams with ease and flirt without anyone knowing. Even they didn’t know that they were flirting with each other.
Marth would spend most of his time hanging out with Roy and Link who were way shorter than him. He had never been a tall person, but hanging out with shorter people that weren’t girls felt pretty satisfying. It was so satisfying that Marth ended up developing a huge ego because of it.
People say that Smash Bros can heavily alter your personality for some unknown reason. The fighters always insist that’s not the case. But Marth’s living proof of how bad it can affect you.
Despite becoming a huge asshole, Marth still managed to remain best friends with an overly energetic pyromaniac redhead and a blond idiot who enjoyed talking too much outside of matches. The trio had stupid adventures together, they managed to blow up the kitchen, they traumatized Young Link (don’t ask how)… They basically had a shit ton of fun mixed in with lots of ho yay.
However, everything changed once Master Hand decided to make a new tournament called Brawl. Because of the size of the mansion, he had to kick out some fighters (although rumor has it Pichu evolved and killed Pikachu).
Roy had to leave to go to war or something. His dad was sick and his mom had gotten hired as an assist trophy for Brawl, so this only left Roy to lead the army.
Link had to go save Hyrule and was replaced by another Link that was living proof he had gotten laid. The new Link was slightly shorter, gayer and more sarcastic than the old one. He was also hotter and there were rumors about him secretly being a furry.
Marth got to stay much to his disappointment and noticed some changes within himself. Of course, he was completely oblivious to the fact that his personality had completely changed. The biggest change he noticed was that he looked prettier. That was only natural of course, he was Marth Lowell, he was prettier and hotter than everyone else, no exceptions.
Marth managed to become friends with the gay Link despite the fact that they hated each other and argued all the time. Gay Link also introduced Marth to his new friends, Pit and Ike. Marth would have introduced himself normally but Master Hand insisted that Marth had to speak Japanese as to not confuse the newcomers.
That didn’t quite work out because gay Link didn’t understand Japanese so he couldn’t explain why Pit and Ike got kicked in the nuts when they called Marth “Miss”. Nevertheless, the four men ended up hanging out the whole time since gay pretty boys gotta stick together. Marth even managed to become best friends with Ike, but that’s ‘cause they never talked to each other, so they never got pissed off at each other. But to be honest, anything was better than being Link or Pit’s best friends. Those midgets were completely insane.
When the new tournament that Master Hand lazily named 4 was about to start, Marth noticed he had changed. The climate had changed his hair color and it was now a different shade of blue. Not that it mattered because he looked prettier and hotter.
Among Marth’s small group of best friends, Ike was the only one to go through any big changes. The guy had gotten really buff and made his friends look like midgets. Marth thought he looked like one of those ugly bara guys from yaoi manga, not that he had ever read a yaoi manga. He just knew that because of memes. Marth’s got better taste than gross bara yaoi manga anyways.
It was in this new tournament that Marth learned that he had descendants. He was pretty sure those descendants were descendants of another Marth in another universe because there was no way he’d ever leave Smash Bros. He did not want to return to a world where iPhones and showers didn’t exist. He also didn’t want to live in Altea knowing that there would be no technological advances in the future. He was used to dealing with bullshit, he hung out with Link after all, but that was way too much for even him to handle.
That and he was pretty gay for Roy, not that he'd admit it.
The tournament was being pretty normal like always until the hands decided to announce that more people were going to be joining. Marth honestly couldn’t care less about the newcomers but because of his position as a veteran, he was obliged to greet them.
He unenthusiastically greeted Mewtwo, Lucas and Ryu and was about to leave until Link told him he hadn’t greeted someone. Marth reluctantly followed Link towards where the last newcomer was. Marth saw a redhead speaking with some other people and was in complete disbelief. There was no way he was back, right? It was all just a dream.
The redhead turned around and smiled when he saw Marth. Marth smiled back and ran towards him. He jumped into the slightly shorter redhead’s arms and hugged him as he cried with tears of joy.
“I missed you so much, Roy,” the prince sobbed not caring that everyone else was staring, “I’m so glad you're back… Please don’t leave me again.”
“I won’t leave ever again,” Roy said as he hugged Marth.
“W-we’ll be together forever, right?”
The two totally not gay BFFs were finally reunited.
Except that’s not what actually happened. That was just Roy’s gay fantasy.
The redhead turned around and smiled when he saw Marth. Marth smiled back and ran towards him. Roy also ran and the two separated friends hugged each other.
“What did I miss?” the short redhead asked.
“Not much,” Marth replied.
“Did you prank Master Hand and Crazy Hand?”
“Well, someone had to keep your legacy going. Of course, I was the only one qualified to do that.”
“Guess it’s time to prepare the best one ever.”
“Yes! But before that… I-I want to tell you something.”
“You don’t need to. I feel the same way.”
The two totally not gay for each other BFFs were finally reunited.
Except that didn’t happen either. That was just Marth’s gay fantasy.
The redhead turned around and smiled when he saw Marth. Marth smiled back and ran towards him. He was about to jump into Roy’s arms but he noticed something wrong. Something very wrong. Something so wrong it made Marth question if going through depression after losing his BFF that he totally doesn’t have a crush on was really worth it.
“Roy, are you taller than me?”
It took Marth about an hour and lots of yelling to accept the fact that Roy was now the taller one and was going to get to wear the pants in the relationship (well, it's not as though Marth would have ever been the one to wear them to be honest). Neither him nor Roy had ever expected this to happen. Roy had always looked up to Marth and always expected him to be taller and hotter than him, and Marth had forgotten that growing up was a thing and didn’t know it was possible for someone to be hotter than him.
But now, Marth was faced with a new problem. During Roy’s absence, he had become best friends with Ike out of convenience more than anything. He didn’t expect Roy to ever return and so he hadn’t planned on how to explain anything to his two friends.
He didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. What if Roy thought that he was replacing him? Marth was having a mental breakdown thinking about what would happen if the two ever met.
Everyone stared at the prince but didn’t think anything, Marth having mental breakdowns was something normal in the Smash Mansion. Master Hand had even made it mandatory for veterans to explain to newcomers that Marth having a mental breakdown was nothing to be worried about.
One mental breakdown later, Marth had a plan. Now that Roy was back, he wasn’t the best planner of his friend group anymore, but that didn’t matter, because unlike Link, Pit and Ike, he could at least plan shit. Emphasis on the shit.
He was about to set his plan in motion when he saw Roy and Ike speaking. Marth was mentally screaming, his plan had been ruined before it even started.
He calmed himself down and walked towards his two friends. He attempted to hide his death glare but to no avail. His two friends didn’t know what was pissing Marth off and were getting worried.
“Marth, are you alright?” Ike asked.
“If it’s about the height thing, I’ll apologize again,” Roy added.
“Did the height thing really piss him off?”
“Yeah… We ended up arguing for an hour. Felt like the good old days.”
“And here, I thought Marth and Link were bad… Those two argue at least for half an hour every day.”
“Really? I guess Marth must really be into people he can argue a lot with.”
“I’m pretty sure he isn’t into Link. They didn’t argue that much back in Brawl. Although Link told me that Marth was depressed during Brawl because he really missed something or someone. I didn't care so I didn't listen and now I can't remember what he said.”
“Poor Marth, he must miss his home. That must be why he wears his tiara all the time!”
“Oh, I thought he was just gay.”
Marth stared at his two friends with shock. They hadn’t even known each other for a day and they were already getting along like they were best friends. Heck, they were already shitting on him. This pissed off Marth even more, Ike was supposed to be his best friend and Roy his future boyfriend. How was that supposed to work if Ike and Roy became BFFs and hooked up?
Marth ended up having to go to Mewtwo’s anger management class after threatening to set Roy and Ike on fire. No one was allowed to question why Mewtwo was in charge of that class, all the fighters knew was that Crazy Hand had come up with the idea and the class somehow worked. Most people assumed the classes were just brainwashing sessions since everyone who attended reported being bored or asleep during the whole class.
By the time the Ultimate tournament had finished being planned, the stupid gay friendship problems had been solved.
Marth happily walked down the hallway with a paper in his hand. He was really excited to show the paper to Roy. The redhead might now be taller and hotter than him, but at least he didn’t have the right to speak English during-
“No, way!” Roy smiled as he ran towards his best friend with a paper in his hand, “You’re allowed to speak English too? This is awesome! Now we can finally team up with more people than just Cloud!”
“Oh, is that so?”
“Yeah! All though, poor Cloud… Master Hand won’t let him speak English despite him being completely fluent in it.”
“Is that all you want to tell me?”
“No, there’s more. You know how Master Hand is letting us be the personal trainers of certain fighters?”
“Yeah, like me training Lucina. What about it?”
“Master Hand made me Chrom’s personal trainer! Ike also helps out from time to time.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Marth shouted instantly ruining all of his anger management class’s progress.
Roy didn’t know why Marth was so angry. Maybe he was jealous? Nah, that was stupid. Marth didn't like him that much anyway. He definitely was tired of dealing with his descendants, that was definitely it.
Marth excused himself to go to the bathroom. He locked the door and looked at himself in the mirror. He was the most beautiful he had ever been. That was the problem, he was getting girlier with age. Roy had gotten buffer and stronger. While he wasn’t the best fighter of the lot, he kept improving with all his training. Heck, now he was training Chrom with Ike and hanging out with him all the time. It was like Roy was getting revenge on him or some shit. Marth, on the other hand, was doing worse with every tournament. He had been among the top 3 during Melee, he was always among the top 10 in Brawl, but in 4, he only managed to be in the top 10 once. And he barely got to spend any time with Roy.
He couldn’t stay angry at Roy forever. He needed to do something about this. If he didn’t, he’d never get to date him. So, swallowing all of his pride, he asked Roy a question he had never wanted to ask.
“C-can I… Um… You know… Do it... With you?”
“What!? But you always told me that you would never do it with me!”
“W-well… I changed my mind...”
If Roy hadn’t been so used to Marth always looking hot while acting weird, he would have called Mewtwo or a psychologist. Heck, he might have even warned everyone about an upcoming apocalypse.
Marth and Roy went to the training room where they met up with Ike. They worked hard to come up with a plan. After an hour of planning, Roy managed to create a training schedule that supposedly worked for everyone.
The trio decided to not waste any time and they got down to business. First thing to do was warm-ups. This meant a hundred push-ups, something that should be easy for hot men.
Ike had no trouble finishing his push-ups since he was basically a walking pile of muscle. Roy finished soon after. Marth was the only one left. He never did push-ups, why would he need to do them? Couldn't he just look at Roy doing them instead?
Marth was about to rant but decided against it when he noticed he was being glared at. He did his best to do more push-ups and after complaining and suffering for what appeared to be an eternity, he had finished.
Marth collapsed and sighed in relief, he was finally done with the stupid push-ups. The next warm-up exercise was a hundred sit-ups. Marth had always found sit-ups to be pretty easy despite not having done any for over a year.
The prince learned the hard way that slacking off on sit-ups was a pretty bad idea. He had done about ten before realizing he was doing the exercise wrong and hurting his neck. Marth couldn’t remember how he was supposed to do sit-ups and he couldn’t look at what Roy and Ike were doing because they had already finished. Marth was left with no option but to continue the exercise even though he wasn’t even doing it correctly.
Luckily for Marth’s neck, his friends noticed he was doing the exercise wrong and showed him how to do it right. However, there a new problem arose: doing sit-ups quickly really hurts, like a lot. So after another eternity of pain, Marth collapsed.
After a morning filled with Marth suffering and his friends doing practically nothing, it was Ike’s favorite time of the day, lunchtime.
The cafeteria was pretty empty since some of the fighters had left for a quick vacation.
After getting their food, the trio sat at their unusually empty table. Ike devoured his meat without a care in the world. The only reason he didn’t have an ending with meat in Radiant Dawn was that a little angry mage called Soren existed.
“Marth, don’t you ever grow tired of eating salad every day?” Ike asked.
“Don’t you ever grow tired of eating meat every day? It’s not even that good for you.”
“Well, unless I won the genetic lottery, I’m proof that it’s better than salad.”
“I think we’re going to have to work on your diet,” Roy told Marth, “You barely eat anything, that’s not good for you. And whenever you eat, it’s something that’s mostly water with little to no nutritional value.”
“What are you talking about!?” Marth snapped, “And why are you acting like you're my mother?”
“Mother? If anything, being the mom friend is your job!”
“What!? I thought you didn’t do Martha jokes.”
“Marth, you’re at your absolute worst right now. You used to be a complete hot badass back in Melee. You were funny, cute, smart, hot… Now you’re all insane and girly. You act like a total bitch half the time!”
“Speaking of Melee, you’re making me miss your cute old-self. He actually liked me and let me do whatever I want.”
“You’re assuming I don’t like you anymore! If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t spend my time helping you.”
“Well, how do I know that Link didn’t just set you up so that he could blackmail me?”
Ike quietly took his food and walked towards Kirby’s table. He had no interest in having his meal ruined by Marth and Roy’s obligatory daily married couple bickering. Honestly, Ike thought that those two should just fuck to get rid of their sexual tensions. It was a win-win situation, Marth and Roy would get to be together like they always wanted to and the rest wouldn't have to deal with their bickering anymore.
Ike ate with Kirby and the two happily ignored the smell of smoke as they ate their food. The mercenary noticed he didn’t have any sauce left and got up ready to get more. He didn’t get far because the cafeteria was on fire. Ike went back to the table, sat down feeling grumpy and waited for somebody to come and save him.
‘Kirby must be so lucky having sane friends,’ Ike thought as he looked at the pink puff.
‘I wish I had cool insane gay friends,’ Kirby thought as he stared at the fire with fascination.
It took thirty minutes for somebody to come and save them because Crazy Hand had turned off all the fire alarms because he was tired of hearing the ringing sound every day.
Kirby was taking a nap on Ike’s lap as the blue-haired teenager tried to sleep through a bunch of arguments. Seriously, why did he have to attend the hands’ meeting with his crazy totally not in love with each other friends? He wasn’t the one who set the cafeteria on fire. Sure, if he had never commented on Marth's eating habits, nothing would have happened. But it wasn't his fault the two always found a way to argue and set the room on fire.
“We’ve had enough of your petty arguments,” Master Hand groaned, “We’ve let them slide for way too long.”
“Actually, I find them to be pretty cute,” Crazy Hand admitted, “You don’t get many people who are completely unable to confess their feelings to each other and end up setting the room on fire instead.”
“Crazy! Don’t you know how much money we’ve lost because of their fights!? We won’t be able to afford reconstructions with over 70 fighters to take care of!”
“If we get them to fuck, I’m sure they’ll stop destroying the mansion.”
“What? That’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard. Got any better ones?”
“We can make a reality show to make more money! Or we could organize promotional mini-tournaments!”
“Good idea!” Master Hand paused to think for a moment, “Who should we choose for the tournaments?”
“Roy, I want you to participate in the tournaments.”
“Me?” the redhead gasped, “Why?”
“We need the mansion in good condition for the start of the official tournament.”
"So, why not send Marth instead? He's better than me. Or you can send both of us."
"Look, I know you want to spend time with your boyfriend, but you two need some time apart. You can facetime him while you're not fighting."
"He's not my boyfriend."
"Coulda fooled me."
"And me!" Crazy Hand added.
Roy and some other fighters ended up leaving for a week to compete in promotional tournaments. Roy being absent from the mansion meant that Marth didn’t have to train because Ike was not going through the horror that is training Marth by himself and to be honest he really didn’t care about Marth’s training. Link had offered to help, but everyone was sure he just wanted to blackmail Marth. Link never helped Marth out of the kindness of his heart unless it was something really really really serious.
The week at the mansion was really uneventful if you ignored Marth ranting to Link about missing Roy for at least an hour every day. It didn’t help that Kirby was in charge and all he cared about was getting food. He had even turned off the WiFi so that people wouldn’t get distracted. This meant that no one could watch the tournaments because the 3G and 4G were absolute shit in the area.
Marth was hanging out in the entrance hall with Link, Ike and Pit playing a boring game of UNO. He was about to win but a random gust of wind had blown his good cards away which got mixed up with Pit’s bad cards. They randomly chose cards and Pit ended up getting the best ones thus leading him to victory.
The Altean was pretty pissed off by his loss, he was about to storm out of the mansion but the door was slammed into him. He ended up falling on top of Link who had been planning on pushing Marth.
“We’re back!” Crazy Hand announced full of glee as all the other fighters made their way in.
“Hey, guys!” Roy greeted his friends on the floor, “What did I miss?”
“Me winning at UNO!” Pit cheered.
“Hearing Marth go on and on about how much he loves and misses you,” Link answered.
“So, how did the tournament go?” Marth asked, “We didn’t get to see it.”
“It went...” Roy started as he took out two objects from his suitcase, “Great!”
Marth stared at the two gold trophies with disbelief. They both had a red ribbon with “Winner” written on it. Marth had to be dreaming, there was no way Roy would win a tournament, let alone two. Roy, win and tournament did not belong in the same sentence.
“Are you done staring at your reflection?” Roy asked his crush.
Marth rushed to the toilets and his friends just stared blankly into the space where Marth once stood.
“He’s so proud of you that he’s gone to cry in the bathroom,” Ike told Roy, “Maybe now that you’re showing him that you’re stronger, he’ll want to date you.”
“W-what!? He definitely doesn’t feel that way about me.”
It took all of Marth’s will for him to not punch the mirror. He was completely pissed off, he wanted to beat someone up to get rid of his anger. This was the last straw. Roy was tall, cool, smart, really hot… And now he was a great fighter. He was everything Marth used to be back in the Melee days.
This made Marth feel like he had been betrayed, he always thought he’d be the best fighter of the two, but Roy was catching up just like he always did. Marth would never admit it, but he was envious of the redhead, everything seemed to be going in his favor.
The prince wanted to cry in frustration. He stared at his face on the mirror and remembered what he used to look like when he was younger. Those were the good old days…
Marth could have stayed in the bathroom reminiscing about the past, but he couldn’t just sit around doing nothing. He might not be able to grow taller or get smarter, but he could still be a better fighter. It wasn’t as though Roy was a better fighter than him, they hadn’t fought for quite a while. But if Marth continued slacking off, there was no doubt that Roy would end up way better.
“And then my mom was all like “Eliwood! Don’t call our son Ike, let Mark na-”” Roy said before feeling someone pull his arm.
“We’re going to go do it,” Marth announced as he dragged the redhead behind him.
“Sorry, I’ll finish telling you guys the story later,” Roy apologized.
The two swordsmen left leaving their friends in an awkward silence.
“Please tell me they’re finally going to settle their sexual tensions and that it doesn’t mean training for them,” Ike wished only for Link to tell him that was definitely not the case.
Marth and Roy were standing in front of the training room trying to come up with an excuse for why they couldn’t train Lucina and Chrom. They knew the two were waiting inside for a training session that would never come. But if Master Hand heard about Marth and Roy skipping a training session, he’d be furious and he was already on to them. He’d probably assume they were dating and kick them out for choosing a date over their jobs.
Luckily, Ike happened to walk by. He wanted to prove Link wrong so he had gone to find evidence that Roy and Marth were definitely getting it on. In hindsight, it turned out to be a horrible idea.
The two shorter swordsmen had somehow convinced him into helping them train Chrom and Lucina. When they all entered the training room, Marth announced that Chrom and Lucina would be fighting against him and Roy in a few days and to make the training match more challenging, Chrom and Lucina would be training with Ike. Now Ike was stuck training Chrom and Lucina for the rest of the day. He really needed to get better friends to fight for.
Somehow, the excuse worked so well that when Master Hand heard about it, he thought it was a great idea and decided that Ike would train Chrom and Lucina for a week. This meant that Marth had one week to get back into shape and reclaim his position as the best swordsman in Smash Bros (which would now be even easier because Cloud nerfs happened).
Marth and Roy found an old empty training room and decided to
fuck train there. They spent their whole time practicing, working out and making sure to play FEH every thirty minutes. They trained so much that they accidentally skipped lunch (not that was abnormal for Marth).
By the end of the day, the two swordsmen were exhausted and lying on the floor taking a rest. They were both looking at each other unaware that they were thinking the exact thing. Damn, he’s hot when he’s covered in sweat... they both thought.
“You think we’ll be able to beat them next week?” Roy asked Marth in attempt to avoid all dirty thoughts involving Marth.
“Of course, we don’t want to look like complete pussies in front of everyone.”
“I guess, there’s no way we’ll lose with someone as great as you on the team.”
“Hey, did we eat lunch?”
“Shit, we skipped it! What time is it?”
“N-nine pm… The cafeteria closes in half an hour.”
“If we save our showers for after dinner, we’ll be able to get something to eat.”
The two definitely not in love with each other friends rushed to the cafeteria where they saw Ike eating a huge bowl full of meat. He seemed pretty pissed off so Marth and Roy decided to avoid him. They went to get their food but Marth argued with Mario because he didn’t get the exact same meal as Roy. Roy decided to sit with Ike because he didn’t want to deal with Marth’s shit when he was hungry.
It didn’t take long for Mario to get rid of Marth. All he had to do was ask the prince if he was in love with Roy. Marth got so embarrassed that he just took his plate and left.
After dinner, the surprisingly not married nor a couple argued for an hour over who got to take a shower first. Ike would have told them to fuck in the shower but he wanted to take his shower first, so he did. Since he was not going to deal with his roommates’ stupid arguing, he decided to stuff his ears with toilet paper. If there was one thing Ike loved almost as much as Soren, it was sleeping. Maybe he should tell Lucina and Chrom that napping was an effective way to train? They believed him when he said that if they ate his vegetables and gave him their meat, they’d get stronger.
The week continued that way. Marth and Roy would train the whole day, accidentally skipping lunch, while Ike contemplated his sanity and his roommates' relationship the whole time. Master Hand was extremely satisfied with how things were going. It was the most peaceful week there had been in ages. Last time it was this peaceful was when he forced everyone to take vacations back in the first tournament. He was also sure he'd win his bet with Crazy Hand. He had bet 1000$ that Marth and Roy didn't have a thing for each other.
Right before the epic fight, Marth and Roy were preparing their battle plan which consisted of tricking Chrom into running into a fully charged flare blade. That trick always worked on newcomers and people who didn’t know Roy. But Chrom knew Roy since the redhead had trained him. However, Chrom wasn’t known for his brains, so there was a pretty big chance he’d fall for that trick. Lucina had already fallen for it once, but she didn’t inherit her mom’s brain, so yeah. The plan was foolproof.
“You know, there’s only one thing that could make this battle even cooler,” Marth told his crush.
Roy wasn’t sure what Marth was talking about. How could there be anything cooler than a one-hit KO within the first few seconds of the match?
“Last Surprise from Persona 5 playing once Chrom gets knocked out!”
“But would we even be allowed to play Persona 5 music?”
“If the knockout happens, I’ll gladly play it,” a familiar voice said from behind.
“I-it’s the announcer!” Marth gasped as he turned around to see the announcer, “What are you doing here? I thought you never showed yourself. And… Why are you hiding behind a cloak that conveniently makes your face pitch black?”
“I guess I can tell you since my true identity will soon be known to all.”
The announcer took off the cloak and revealed his true form. He was a hot teenager with black hair and gray eyes that turned red for epic moments.
“You’re Joker from Persona 5!” Marth yelled, “That’s so cool!”
“N-no way!” Roy stuttered, “Joker has been the announcer all this time!”
“I’m also you in Japanese.”
“No, I’m you in Japanese.”
“Wow, that’s pretty hot,” Marth admitted.
Marth and Roy headed to stage. Since they wanted an epic and fair battle against Chrom and Lucina, they had chosen to fight on final destination with no items (sadly no Fox, so they went with one stock only). Chrom and Lucina were really excited for their battle against their trainers who they didn’t know were excited to beat the shit out of them.
When the match started, Roy immediately started charging the Binding Blade while Marth kept Lucina away. Chrom was going to attack Roy but then he saw Lucina being attacked by Marth and his dad instincts popped out.
Chrom tried attacking Marth, but Marth was two steps ahead and managed to dodge every attack. Marth knew it wouldn’t be long until Roy had finished charging his attack. So, he grabbed Lucina and threw her in Roy’s direction making sure that she went right above him.
Chrom’s dad instincts meant he had to make sure Lucina didn’t hurt herself, so he ran in Roy’s direction. He was so focused on his daughter that he didn’t notice that he was running straight into a trap.
By the time Chrom had noticed the trap, he was already flying through the air with lots of burns while Last Surprise played in the background. Now that he thought about it, the music really fit the situation. Not bad, he thought.
Lucina wasn’t having nice thoughts though. She hadn’t noticed it before, but Ike had been sitting holding a large panel with Link and Pit that said: “Roy x Marth should win”. She didn’t know whether to think Ike was a dick or whether to think he was a nice guy for supporting his friends. But none of that matter, she was completely screwed.
The last thing she remembered from the match was seeing sadistic smiles on her two opponents. Sometimes, people just want to say fuck the power of love for being so OP in fiction.
“We won!” Marth smiled, “We didn’t even get any damage! That means we still look smoking hot!”
“Dude, we always look smoking hot.”
“Yeah! But… I want to tell you something...”
All right, this was it. Marth had to say the most embarrassing thing he could say. Even if Roy rejected him, he couldn’t go on like this any longer.
“R-Roy, I-I l-lo-”
“Guys, you were awesome!” Link screamed ruining the moments.
“Thanks, bro!” Roy smiled.
“Yeah, thanks a lot, Link!” Marth yelled back sarcastically.
“You’re welcome, princess!” the blond smirked before leaving.
“I hate him sometimes.”
“You hate everyone sometimes,” Roy told the prince.
“T-That’s no true! I don’t hate you! Like at all. I-”
“Sure, there are no moments you hate me.”
“Marth, why’s your face red?”
“My face is not red!”
The duo ended up arguing for an hour like always. If you asked Crazy Hand, he’d tell you that they should just settle their differences by finally getting it on. Either way, Master Hand owed him money.
Marth, Roy and their whole group of friends decided to have dinner at the best restaurant in town which had been recommended by Kirby. Everyone was chatting, having fun and enjoying the delicious food. The food was so good it made Pit cry.
“You know, I think I learned something today,” Marth told Roy, “Me being jealous of you was pretty stupid.”
“You, being jealous of me?” Roy smiled as he tried hiding his laughter, “I can see why it was stupid. I’m pretty shit.”
“What!? That’s not true! Why would I be jealous of shit? Anyways, I’ve thought about it. You’re hotter now and I guess that won’t be changing.”
“You were upset because you thought I was hotter than you?”
“Shut up! Now, where was I… Right! I have no reason being upset at you for being hotter, because in the end, we’ll be together and it won’t matter who’s hotter when you're fu- Roy? Roy! Are you listening?”
“Sorry, did you say something, Marth?”
Link couldn't help but facepalm because of the stupidity of the two FE lords he called his friends.
Everyone walked home. Some were in a rush to get back home, weirdly Marth wasn’t among them for once. He was enjoying a walk with his four closest friends despite the cold temperature outside.
“Do you guys think we’ll always be best friends?” the blue-haired prince asked.
“Seeing as how we argue over everything, do the stupidest shit together and are all still friends, I think the answer is yes,” Link answered before whispering to Marth, “If you’re lucky, Roy won’t be your best friend.”
“Don’t say such things when he’s around, you idiot!”
“Yay!” Pit cheered, “Marth called Link an idiot!”
“To be honest, everyone here’s an idiot,” Ike admitted, “There’s nothing special about Marth calling Link an idiot anymore.”
“Ike’s right!” Roy agreed, “There’s only one way someone can be worse than an idiot. Is anyone here subscribed to T-Series?”
“Good! We’re all nine-year-olds with bonus years, right?”
“Of course, we are!” Marth yelled, “We watch Pewdiepie every day and do our part by threatening to kill random strangers if they don’t subscribe to Pewdiepie!”
“I guess Ike was right. We’re all idiots and there’s nothing special about us.”
“Whatever,” the mercenary, “Let’s just go listen to Bitch Lasagna for an hour while eating dessert.”
In the end, the five friends ended up doing just as Ike said. Although, Crazy Hand did join the group for an hour before being kicked out when Marth noticed the hand had brought a lasagna with a yaoi picture on it.