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Pillow War

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“Cassian Jeron Andor, what the fuck!?”

Cassian stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around. He’d only gone to fetch the laundry, a mere 30 feet away, but he was six paces too far from their bedroom, door left wide open.

And there stood Jyn, stark naked, save for a pair of panties.

She wasn’t even covering herself up. Her anger and embarrassment was so strong that she was frozen on the spot.

“Oh my god,” Cassian gasped, and his ears turned red.

“Seriously, Andor?!” Jyn yelled, throwing her arms up in the air. “Did you forget I was naked or something?!”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, hurrying back into their bedroom and shut the door behind him. “I forgot you hadn’t put a new set of clothes on, and-”

She was wholly unamused; not even a hint of a smile was on her lips as she crossed her arms. “You were playing with my nipples before you decided to grab the laundry from the dryer.”

He cringed. “Again, Jyn, I am so sorry.”

“This is around the time of day that the other flatmates come back!” She smacked his arm. “Any one of them could’ve seen me! What the hell were you thinking?!”

“I wasn’t, okay?” he said, stepping closer to pull her into a hug. “I really am sorry!”

Not even the comfiest of hugs would suffice this time, and her face remained stuck on her signature glare.

(Cassian would laugh and dote on how cute that face actually was, but he also didn’t want to sleep on the floor tonight.)

“Okay um,” Cassian said, planting a kiss on her forehead before backing away slowly. He took care to maintain eye contact with her, as though she’d find a way to get him back for his mistake if he looked away for even a split second. “I’m going to fetch the laundry from the dryer.”

“Okay,” she said flatly, still unamused.

“Love you!” he said sweetly.

Jyn didn’t answer back, but she did manage to grab a shirt from their closet and put that on. Cassian took that as his cue to get out of the room and grab the aforementioned laundry, and he returned with warm, snuggly, freshly laundered clothes in tow. The room had quieted, save for the relentless notification pings on his phone.

He looked at Jyn as he set down the laundry- her back was facing him as she sat at her computer desk and typed furiously away on her keyboard. Each time she hit the “Enter” key, his phone pinged.

Oh no , he thought.

He unlocked his phone, checked his notifications, and noticed the influx of messages from their group chat:

Stardust_Rebel: ANDOR DIES TONIGHT.
Im_the_Pilot: Oh no. What did he do this time?
Im_the_Pilot: hang on, lemme take out ms paint again so i can make more Love Actually memes to cheer you up
Stardust_Rebel: HE LEFT THE DOOR WIDE OPEN
Im_the_Pilot: ?
Melshiiiet: context plz
Stardust_Rebel: MY TITS WERE IN FULL VIEW FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE
Im_the_Pilot: wat
Stardust_Rebel: HE DIDN’T BOTHER TO CLOSE THE DOOR AND I WAS STILL NAKED
Stardust_Rebel: HE DIES TONIGHT
Melshiiiet: oh shiiiiiiiiiit
Im_the_Pilot: !!!
Im_the_Pilot: did anyone else come home and see!?
Melshiiiet: IT’S OKAY JYN IT’S JUST NIPPLES, WE HAVE THEM TOO
Kingx_SnarkO: Jyn maybe you should put on a shirt
Stardust_Rebel: I just put one on, screw you @Kingx_SnarkO ! DO NOT give Cassian a defense!
PewPew_CptSnipes: too late, thanks kay
Stardust_Rebel: I SHOULD BE AS NAKED AS I WANT IN THE SAFETY OF MY ROOM, KTHX
Kingx_SnarkO: don’t you two have a million blankets and pillows? Should’ve just thrown one of those over your tits
Kingx_SnarkO: not like they’re hard to reach for
Im_the_Pilot: nah, be as naked as you want! Burn the bras! Free the nipple!
Stardust_Rebel: i hate you all
Melshiiiet: (hint: smother him with the blankets)
PewPew_CptSnipes: wait hang on
Stardust_Rebel: @Melshiiiet NOW we’re talking
PewPew_CptSnipes: murder doesn’t look good on your rap sheet
Stardust_Rebel: we have 5 pillows
Stardust_Rebel: consider this your softest death ever
PewPew_CptSnipes: a pillow fight, you say?

Cassian could hear Jyn pause for a moment, turning her head only slightly to listen for movements she couldn’t quite see.

He gulped at her tension.

But then a grin played on Cassian’s face. Perhaps he could distract her from her anger at his mistake.

It was a mad idea that slowly started to sound like a good one.

His phone rang with a notification.

Stardust_Rebel: don’t you fucking DARE.
Im_the_Pilot: PILLOW FIGHT! PILLOW FIGHT!
Kingx_SnarkO: please don’t tell me you two are exchanging these threats while sitting next to each other
Stardust_Rebel: negative, my back is facing him
Melshiiiet: strategically speaking, that’s a shite move
Stardust_Rebel: whatever, not like heLKO@*(ksa

Jyn’s typing was interrupted and she prematurely sent the message when something firm but pliant hit her in the back of the head and caused her upper body to tilt forward enough for her to press some extra keys. She looked up to check what random keys she hit on the text field when:

PewPew_CptSnipes: the pillow fight begins...now
Melshiiiet: actually how the hell do you fit all those pillows and blankets on your bed?
Im_the_Pilot: ^ asking the real questions

The rest of the squad were left hanging as Jyn had turned around shortly after being smacked with a pillow to find Cassian holding a second pillow up in the air, poised to throw. Cassian’s grin stretched out like a Cheshire Cat, and Jyn’s jaw dropped in shock.

The bastard had the gall to actually start a pillow fight. After he was the one who made the mistake of not closing the door behind him, and leaving her nude body in full view of any potential onlookers in their flat.

(Not that anyone had actually come home and caught her baring it all, but still . )

She looked down: three pillows were between them, their distance defined by the bed. The first was in her hands. The final one, in his.

There wasn’t much time for her to think of strategy- Cassian’s arm was lifting, pulling back, ready to strike, and she debated between one of two options: Tackle Cassian to the ground, or steal the rest of the pillows.

Without pillows, he had no ammo.

That decided it: Jyn threw her pillow further away from Cassian and dove headfirst into the bed for the other three.

It was worth it, she thought, as Cassian’s pillow pelted her in the head. Closing her eyes, she reached over head with a free hand as her other hand smothered the original three, and she curled up and rolled away from him, four pillows in tow as she made her way towards the towards the first pillow she threw aside.

Im_the_Pilot: wait
Im_the_Pilot: oh god they stopped talking…
Im_the_Pilot: are you guys legit having a pillow right rn?
Kingx_SnarkO: please.
Kingx_SnarkO: they’re probably doing doing something dirty. Nothing to see here.
Kingx_SnarkO: may as well grab dinner…

“Oh fuck,” Cassian muttered as Jyn sprang back up to smack him over the head with the thickest pillow of the bunch. Her hits were quick and relentless, and when he tried to duck under to grab the pillows behind her, she grabbed his arm and pulled him back, diving again for the pillow pile and barrelling away to get them even further away from Cassian.

There was no way Cassian was going to let that deter him. Quickly, he noticed that she’d managed to pull the body pillow with her, but was still within his reach. His eyes darted to Jyn, who paused briefly to take a selfie to show her triumphant acquisition to the others, then at the body pillow, which was still in her grip, but just barely due to its size.

She seemed to sense the extended moment of silence, however, and she turned to find Cassian staring just a little too long at the body pillow.

Realizing her mistake, she hit “send” before letting out a war cry and diving for the other end of the body pillow as Melshi and Bodhi were greeted with a selfie of Jyn with all five pillows in her possession.

Im_the_Pilot: omg
Melshiiiet: JYN ATTACK BACK
Melshiiiet: BLOCK HIM

“No!” she cried as the body pillow was yanked out from under her. It was a shite move, in Melshi’s words, for her back to be turned from him. For someone who made a lot of noise crashing into things and occasionally dropping whatever he’d be holding in his hands, he was uncharacteristically catlike in his movements, and she was paying the price for letting her guard down.

There was a competitive, almost impish quality to his grin as he whacked her in the face with the long pillow.

The force of it almost caused her to lose her grip on the four pillows, and Jyn almost regretted being the one to insist on buying fluffy pillows prior to moving in together. They were so thick that she had to link her fingers together just to keep them in her possession.

As Cassian leaned back to wind up for the next hit, she saw the body pillow limp back behind him, and suddenly there was an opening for her to exploit.

She crouched, keeping her arms tucked at her sides- or, at least, as much as the pillows would let her- and launched forward like a bullet, curling her legs around the long pillow to hook them once she zipped past him.

Cassian was caught by surprise at how quickly she recovered to zip past him, and the pillow slipped from his two-handed grip. Dammit , he thought.

Not all was lost, however. As Jyn smothered the pillows in her possession once again, the body pillow, nearly too long for Jyn’s own height, stuck out from underneath her. Refusing to lose to her in the pillow fight, he bolted for Jyn and pinned her down as she was getting up, pressing a knee to her back to keep her down while he grabbed the far end of the body pillow. Jyn was firmly wedged between his knee and the pillows she hoarded, helpless as he whacked her with the loose end of the body pillow over and over again.

“How dare you!” she yelled, the sentence coming off staccato with each whack to the head. With her hair flying about in front of her face, she had difficulties seeing what was going on, so she took yet another selfie, which ultimately sent to the group chat.

Im_the_Pilot: WHY ARE YOU LOSING YOU HAVE ALL THE PILLOWS
Melshiiiet: you better win Jyn! I’ve got a tenner on you!
Im_the_Pilot: okay but can we talk about the SHEER NUMBER OF PILLOWS SHE HAS?
Im_the_Pilot: WHY is she pinned down??? EXPLAIN???

Jyn nearly growled at the unfairness of it all. She had all the ammo, all the ammo , and yet she couldn’t fire back. And, worse yet, Cassian was still pelting her with the same loose end of the body pillow, and she was getting more agitated by his mock cackling.

Indeed, Cassian was becoming a villain in his own right, even going so far as saying “I win” over and over with each thwack of the pillow. His tone was so light and airy it that it was pure mockery, made worse by the fact that he’s normally the quiet one of the two of them.

“Get. Off me. Andor,” she snarled, trying to lift herself up enough to slide his knee off her back and to the side, but when he gripped another pillow sticking out from underneath her, she was reminded of the fact that he could very easily snatch another pillow out from under her, and she  let herself get pinned again, realizing that they were at a stalemate.

No. She wanted to call it a stalemate, but Cassian clearly had won, no matter which way she sliced it, and her head dropped to the carpet of their room, letting her cheek squish into the rough fabric.

She was going to punch him for this.

One day.

When she’s not pinned down by his stupid knee.

Sighing, Jyn felt around the carpet for her phone, but found that it was missing.

“Cassian, where’s my phone?”

“Hang on juuuuuust a sec,” he said.

There was an immediate sinking feeling in her gut at the tone of his voice, and she screamed in frustration, showing him both middle fingers all the while. Cassian, meanwhile, grinned as he continued to type on the phone he commandeered from Jyn.

Stardust_Rebel: victory is mine
Melshiiiet: wait wat
*Stardust_Rebel has uploaded a photo*

Cassian had the widest grin on his face as the camera, poised above his head. His knee was firmly pressed against her back as the body pillow rested limply on his thigh. One could only see the back of someone’s head, their bun coming undone from the way they thrashed about their room, but the way they flipped off the camera with both hands made it absolutely clear that the person on the floor was, in fact, Jyn Erso herself.

He had to admit- he wasn’t one for selfies, but this one was pretty damn funny.

So, naturally, he sent it to his own phone, as well as the other five he took behind Jyn’s back (literally).

Im_the_Pilot: oh. My. god.
Melshiiiet: dammit Jyn you had one job .
Stardust_Rebel: and this phone shall forever be mine as part of the armistice.
Im_the_Pilot: ...I feel like I can hear her screeching that she didn’t agree to that
Stardust_Rebel: and indeed you’d be right!
Melshiiiet: you’re sleeping on the couch tonight, aren’t you, Cassian?
Stardust_Rebel: winners sleep like kings in their own beds
Stardust_Rebel: winners also get milk and cookies
Stardust_Rebel: which will be in my hands very shortly
Stardust_Rebel: spoiler alert: i am the winner
Im_the_Pilot: said Cassian, 27-year old extraordinaire.

Jyn was relieved to feel cool air brushing against her back, now that Cassian had finally gotten off her. As she eased herself up, she saw Cassian leave the room with a brightness in his eye as he headed off to the kitchen.

How could he still be in such a good mood over something like this?

She rushed back to her computer to check the group chat, gawking at the numerous selfies he took and sent.

How. Fucking. Dare.

Jyn had her fingers poised over the keyboard, ready to type furiously, but Cassian had come back to the room, milk and cookies in hand, and propped a chair next to Jyn’s, sitting back in comfort as he lifted his feet and rested them on hers.

She looked at his feet, weighing on her thighs, then at him, who quirked his eyebrows before dunking a chocolate chip cookie in a mug of milk, smirking all the while before taking a bite. He hummed in satisfaction, and he smacked his lips in a pointed way, as if to remind her of his recent victory.

The cockiness of this bastard.

Stardust_Rebel: fuck him and his milk and cookies
Melshiiiet: I see he returned the phone
Stardust_Rebel: as he should
Melshiiiet: how gracious of him~
Im_the_Pilot: win next time, and then you can spam his phone with troll selfies
Stardust_Rebel: he actually sent them to himself before handing the phone back
Im_the_Pilot: we call him captain for a reason lol
Kingx_SnarkO: ...i leave to eat dinner and i come back to this ?
Kingx_SnarkO: i’m actually disappointed in you, Jyn. you actually lost to Cassian in a pillow fight .

“Ugh,” Jyn responded aloud, rolling her eyes at Kay’s snark.

Cassian had gone through four cookies at this point, and he finally set the mug down on her desk.

Thank goodness , she thought, until she heard him pull his phone out of his pocket and type away at the group chat.

PewPew_CptSnipes: it was a pillow war , thankyouverymuch, and i rose victorious
Stardust_Rebel: ^ Cassian’s final words
Melshiiiet: i’ll call a caterer for the wake
PewPew_CptSnipes: she thinks those are my final words
PewPew_CptSnipes: jyn is wrong about many things, and this is one of them
Im_the_Pilot: ohhhhhh snap
Stardust_Rebel: stfu Andor

Jyn was still so exhausted and huffy from having been pinned down by Cassian for so long despite her struggles that she almost didn’t notice the cookie slowly approaching the tip of her lips.

She looked down at the sudden intrusion: chocolate chip.

Cassian kept the cookie held up, close to her lips, as he hummed questioningly, offering a milk-dipped cookie. Drops of milk fell into the mug he prepared for himself, a quiet drip, drip that counted the passing seconds.

“Come on,” he said gently, appeasingly, and the look on his face was starting to become a little too difficult to ignore. He even fluttered his eyelashes, just a bit, and his eyes widened with childlike wonder. It was almost infuriating to Jyn how adorable she found that look, and here he was, eagerly and unabashedly exploiting that weakness.

The scent of chocolate and milk filled her nostrils, and she caved, opening her mouth slightly to take a (small) bite of the consolation cookie. All he could do was smile, and he took the rest of the cookie into his own mouth and started chewing.

She turned away from him to quickly type: Casisan might’ve won the fight, but he’s sure as hell not winning the war.

“Not happening,” he said aloud, having watched her type it out. He was nearly spitting the moist crumbs out from his own mouth, comfortably basking his his victory snack. “I’ll win the next one. And the next, and the next.”

Jyn rolled her eyes, but not without an amused smile scrunching her cheeks. “Sure, Andor. Sure .”