Spock jerked awake.
It was another nightmare, like the others he had been having the last week. Each one was just as terrifying as the last.
He couldn't remember the contents of this particular one, but they always had a common theme. The colour red was always prominent along with pain, so much pain. So many souls connected in torture.
It was the emotion Spock felt firsthand when Vulcan was destroyed. An entire population of a species together in collective mourning, mind melding the overwhelming pain to manage it better among the few left alive. Spock rubbed at an ache in his chest. Loss was a torturous emotion indeed.
A glance at the time. It was 0345 hours.
Spock exhaled, bringing his palm to his forehead. This weakness had to be nipped in the bud quickly before it spiralled into something more problematic. It wasnt very Vulcan at all to be jerked awake by terror; hardly logical to ruin his own sleep by emotion. Dreams weren't real. And still here he was, awake at an ungodly hour for no reason. Maybe it was the human in him.
Spock exhaled, leaning back onto his pillow with a rub of a palm down his face. He closed his eyes, trying to return to sleep.
There was a shuffle through the wall behind the headboard of his bed.
Spock opened his eyes again. It was Jim.
The Captain and First Officer's rooms were adjacent, and perfectly mirrored in similarity of layout. This meant where Spock's bed was positioned, Jim's bed was placed exactly as a reflection, with nothing but a thin wall separating them. There were supposed to be soundproof for privacy, but the Terran designers didn't take exceptional Vulcan hearing into account when making the starship. It was rather xeno-centric of them, Spock thought, a typical Human trait.
The shuffle turned into a creak. Jim was a restless sleeper, he frequently tossed and turned whilst he slept. The noise occasionally woke Spock up on some nights, he could hear it so well.
The creak lengthened before the sound of footsteps padded across the floor to the left - he was using the bathroom. The bathrooms were also separated by the same wall, and Spock was quick to learn on the first few missions the Enterprise took, that Jim was a frequent showerer.
Spock waited for the flush, then the pad of footsteps back into bed before he closed his eyes for sleep again.
"Good morning, Jim."
As Spock left his room he turned to greet his Captain, but wasn't pleased to see was wearing his pyjamas and robe outside his quarters in the hall. Highly inappropriate for a crew member, no less a Captain.
Jim was leaned against the doorway. He yawned softly, lifting a hand to scratch at his messy bedhead. The robe he wore hung loosely off his frame in a much-too-comfortable-for-business fashion.
"Have we decided to discard all our responsibilities today?" Spock addressed his clothing.
Jim laughed curtly. "Nope. I'm handling them."
To Spock's horror he stepped carelessly out into the hall, following him toward the bridge.
"Captain." Spock blinked with wide, scandalised eyes. "If Starfleet hail a video line-"
"They'll see a perfectly functioning Captain and nothing else. Honestly, uniforms are so overrated."
Spock didn't bother telling him about the three regulations he was breaking; Jim just didn't care. He could only hope that no one of a higher authority would see this, he couldn't handle the mortification. Even though his Captain’s choices had little to do with him, as Jim’s First Officer, it would be embarrassing.
The robe fluttered as Jim twirled. "I have a couple of things I need you to do today, actually."
Spock nodded as his Captain spoke, but he could hardly take him seriously in his pyjamas.
Spock had been looking forward to sleep all day. He didn't know he could feel so tired. Vulcans could go longer periods without sleep than most species, but he really couldn't wait to get into bed and shut his eyes for a few hours, so he could wake up well rested for tomorrow.
It was late evening, too early to be settling in bed, but Spock changed into his night pants and brushed his teeth anyway. He could do some light reading to settle him.
Before he could get comfortable, there was a beep at the door. Trying not to get annoyed at having his quiet time interrupted, he answered with a light sigh.
Jim was on the other side. His eyes lit up when he saw Spock, and his gaze lingered 2.3 seconds longer than usual on his torso. Spock hypothesised it was due to it being bare.
"Spock." He recovered, stuttering ever so slightly that one would hardly notice. But Spock did, of course. He never missed a thing when it came to Jim. "Good, I didn't think you were going to answer."
He was still in his pyjamas from earlier in the day, minus the robe. Spock looked down his legs and was horrified to see he was barefoot.
"Jim..." Spock exhaled, pointing at his exposed toes.
"What?" He followed his First Officer's gaze and scoffed. "Oh please spare the lecture, I'm less than 2 metres from my quarters I didn't want to wear anything on my feet just to take them off again."
"2.4 metres." Spock corrected. "Your bare feet will pick up bacteria and make you more prone to fungal infections." Spock shivered in disgust, distracted by the thought of all the different strains of bacteria on the surfaces of the many planets the landing parties encountered - bringing it on board with their boots - which Jim was now exposing to the underside of his feet in the hall.
"I'll shower later." Jim rolled his eyes.
Spock grimaced. "Come inside. The less time you spend on the unclean floor the better."
"Jeez Spock, stop acting like I'm being exposed to the Gangorian Clap." Jim entered and sat on the bed. "A bit early for sleep, isn't it?" He motioned at Spock's lack of clothing once he was inside the room.
"Considering you have spent the entire day in sleep clothes, I don't think I have to justify myself."
Jim raised an intrigued eyebrow in the typical fashion Spock usually did. "Was that insubordination?"
"Hardly. Was there a reason for this visit?" Spock wasn't trying to be rude, he was just too tired to keep up stimulating coversation.
"Oh, yeah. Do you have a spare PADD?" Jim sat on the bed and leaned back onto his hands.
"Is the one you have dysfunctional?"
"It threw itself at the wall the other day."
Ah. Spock had wondered what made the noise. "Yes, I do." He bent over to ruffle through the bottom of the storage unit. Spock quickly straightened up once he found it, feeling Jim’s eyes on him and adjusted the band of his pants on his hips.
He handed it over. A small smile played on Jim's mouth for a reason he couldn't pinpoint. "It may lag while starting up. It hasn't been used in a long time."
Jim took it and stood to leave. "Thanks, Spock." The door slid open and he lingered in the doorway, now tentative to walk barefooted down the hall. His eyes trailed once more over Spock's chest before he left.
Spock sighed deeply when he left and placed a hand on his abdomen, feeling very exposed from the encounter. He must remind himself to be fully clothed around his Captain in the future.
Finally climbing into his bed, he took his PADD and started reading. He smiled to himself when he heard the shower run through the wall.
The next night, Spock found it difficult to fall asleep. Usually this was not the case; he would be so exhausted that sleep would come almost instantly, even if he was jerked awake by nightmares a few hours later. Tonight, he couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard he tried. He settled with his hand against his stomach, breathing slowly and deeply, knowing it was futile.
A glance at the time told him it wasn't late enough to be worried about missing essential sleep hours. He couldn't help feeling some anxiety anyway. This was getting ridiculous.
Though Spock wouldn't admit it, he was afraid that his inability to functionally sleep was due to his fear of experiencing more nightmares. He wasn't supposed to feel fear, especially towards something trivial like a dream. But just because it wasn’t his current reality didn't mean it wasn't painful. Seeing the destruction of Vulcan through a child's eye who could not escape in time was particularly scarring last night.
He sighed. All he wanted was a few hours. He could hear Jim through the wall, grunting with discomfort and frustration every time he tossed and turned, which wasn't helping. Clearly, neither of them were getting any sleep, which would be problematic tomorrow morning when they both had to be fresh-faced and alert.
Spock, deciding to be the responsible one, shut his eyes tightly to try and force himself to sleep.
Spock pried his eyes open slowly. That was Jim, but that was not the sound of Jim scowling in frustration from not being able to sleep.
They were moans. Of pleasure.
And considering it was only Jim's voice he could hear, they were self-induced or he was doing a very bad job at satisfying his partner. And that was statistically unlikely, considering the sheer numbers of partners Spock estimated Jim to have had.
Spock's ears started to burn. Why was he listening to this? He most certainly wasn't going to be able to sleep now.
Jim let out another moan of gratification. It was relieving for him - Spock could tell by the octave of the sound. It had been a while for Jim to exert some of this... pressure outward. In fact, it had been over three months since the Enterprise had taken any shore leave. No doubt, Jim was wound up past breaking point. Humans were so impulsive to their recklessly programmed natures.
Spock found that thought of Jim interesting. He couldn't shut out the sounds Jim was making, and it was difficult not to imagine him working a hand in an erratic fashion, chasing a release.
Spock gasped at himself. But he couldn't help himself to listen even as the tips of his ears started to turn hot, his face flushing with a green blush as Jim's moans got less and less spaced apart; closer and closer together.
It took a moment for Spock to realise Jim was close (already?), and after a few more moments Spock heard him find his release.
There was a sigh of relief and then another of exasperation - Jim dropped the bottle of water from his bedside cabinet as he reached over for the... tissues? Yes, that would be an appropriate inference.
Spock let out a deep, silent sigh himself. He'd be lying if he said what he had just heard hadn't affected him. And Vulcans never lied.
Spock woke up and showered, feeling unclean. He decided he wasn't going to let last night affect him, his Captain was Human after all; they had their biological functioning. He wouldn't judge him for it because it was hardly his place; he imagined what Jim would think of the Vulcan Ponn Farr. He grimaced. Probably best to hide that for as long as possible. Jim had a habit of enjoying taking advantage of the very few weaknesses of his race.
Beside himself, Spock couldn't help thinking about the way Jim moaned. Humans were so much easily stimulated after all, a simple touch could have them whimpering with need.
Spock swallowed a lump in his throat at the thought.
If Spock were fully human he may have jumped with surprise, but being half-Vulcan he contained it. Barely.
"Good morning, Captain."
"Busy day ahead of us."
"One can only hope so."
Spock usually enjoyed his chess games with Jim. But then in those cases, he hadn’t listened to him masturbate the night before.
Rec room was empty. It usually was whenever Jim and Spock decided to make an appearance, as if the entire crew were in on leaving them alone. Spock would have guffawed at them.
With it being empty, it also meant that the air was quiet and extremely tense. It was tense enough that even Jim noticed.
“I wonder where everyone goes.” He said, trying to sound nonchalant as he moved his piece.
“It would appear that the crew does seem to take a simultaneous disappearance every time we enter.” Spock stated, as he moved his.
“Maybe we smell funny, Spock.” Jim’s brows furrowed as he analysed Spock’s move.
Aware it was a joke, Spock didn’t comment.
“Or they know something else we don’t.” Jim muttered more to himself than to Spock, finally moving his piece.
Spock sat up a little straighter at the comment. “Specify?”
Jim raised his brows. He grinned because Spock was so stupid. “Your move, Spock.” He said instead of answering him.
Spock left the conversation there and glared at the board to see what the most logical move was. Truth was, (chess aside here) he didn’t know. Not when it came to Jim.
The silence soon became deafening. Spock still hadn’t made his move. He looked up at Jim who was staring intently at him. They looked at each other for a few moments, long enough for Spock to recall Jim’s moans from last night in perfect detail. It played again and again in his head as he looked Jim in the face, and his own breath began to deepen.
“Why don’t we continue the game in my quarters?” Jim offered, a hidden smile at the corner of his mouth. Spock was accustomed to this particular smile. It was the one he used on beautiful visitors to the Enterprise. Jim had even used it on higher ranking Starfleet members when he wanted to get his own way. He had never used it on Spock before though, probably because he didn’t need to. Jim only had to breathe a little funny and he had his First Officer running in circles around him.
Now that it was being used on him Spock was aware of its true effects, and why it worked so often. The offer rung loud in his ears and he understood how dangerous the implications were.
”But we haven’t finished this game, Jim.” He tried to excuse politely.
Jim smirked this time, making Spock almost feel jealousy at his ability to display his emotion directly on his face. Only Spock couldn’t quite pinpoint the complex emotion Jim was displaying to a single adjective.
Jim leaned over the board far enough for Spock to smell him - deliberately, probably - and moved Spock’s Queen towards his own King (how had he not seen that?!).
“Checkmate.” He stated silkily and stood from his chair as if to say ‘Anything else?’
Now Spock was truly in forbidden territory. Because Jim, who was otherwise extremely competitive when it came to chess, had just given that game to him, gifted with a bow. And now Spock had to come back to Jim’s room to even the score because he wasn’t going to bested like that, even if he technically won that match.
The mischievous glint in Jim’s eyes intensified when Spock stood from his seat.
“Very well, Jim.”
When the door to the rec room slid open, Jim and Spock were both surprised to find a scurry of crew members behind it.
“Get back to work!” Jim shouted at them, shaking his head with a smile.
When Spock laid down for the night, he heard Jim shuffling around in his room. He was moving in the left corner of the far end of the room, picking up the pieces on the chessboard from the game they just played; the solid plastic tapping together - oh, he dropped a piece. That must have been a knight, Spock could tell by the echo of the weight when it fell. After he used the bathroom, Jim got into bed - it creaked ever so slightly.
Spock wasn't even trying. His ears had somehow become extremely finely attuned to every sound emanating from the Captain's quarters, though he wasn't even paying much attention. He didn't need to run an experiment to find out why. He already knew: Spock was hoping for Jim to give in to his urges again. He was curious because it fascinated him to the very core of his hybrid being. Was it the curiosity of his Vulcan side that wanted to know for science? Or was it his Human side that was also sex-seeking; trying to itch an unexpected urge?
Spock didn't know, and was keen to find out. It was only when he heard Jim's first moan of the night that he knew for sure.
Jim was breathing deeply. He clearly had been waiting to do this all day. Spock suspected he had already taken himself in hand but he could barely hear him over the rush of blood pumping in his own ears.
Interesting, thought Spock. Listening seemed to be drawing a physical response from his own body. He listened more intently as Jim moaned and found his own breath begin to deepen, the blood now pumping to other interesting areas of the body.
Spock assumed it must feel good to manually pleasure oneself, he had never tried it himself because he never found the need to. Not like this. But he was accustomed to pleasure given by a lover, which was a little less... straightforward. This would be significantly easier, in theory. Just grab and tug, to put it bluntly.
Hardly sufficient data for theorising, thought Spock, and he slipped his hand inside his briefs to firmly grip the base of his now throbbing cock.
He could will the flow of his blood into other more important areas of the body if he wanted to, but the truth was, he didn't really want to.
Spock gasped out a breathless moan. Desire. What a reckless emotion indeed.
Spock took slow strokes, drawing out the feeling and relishing at the chaos undulating through him. He let out a peace-less sigh at the turmoil, wanting it; craving it. Jim's moans increased in rate and Spock chased him.
Jim out a soft 'fuck'.
And Spock moaned. The sound was alien to him, but then Jim hissed in a sharp breath and Surak, Spock moaned a second time before he could stop himself.
It was fine. Jim's Terran ears wouldn't catch the pitch of his voice through the wall anyway.
Jim was close but Spock wasn't anywhere near. It seemed that as even as the sexual creatures they were, Humans didn't have nearly the same amount of sexual stamina Vulcans did. Whether it was down to their more efficient respiratory and inner organ systems or their constant suppression of emotion, it didn't matter. They could go for hours before nullifying satisfaction. Days even, if it was their Ponn Farr time.
Spock increased his speed, listening very intently. If he stilled his breathing and and angled his ear towards the wall, he could occasionally catch the slick noises of Jim's hand sliding up and down his shaft.
Spock had to grip the sheets and clench his jaw to steady himself, a bout of savagery twisting inside him, begging to be let out. He suppressed it, barely. This was why Vulcans constantly smoothed their feelings under the skin. Emotions ran so much deeper than other species. Whatever Jim was feeling, Spock was feeling amplified.
If Jim was feeling like he had to fuck someone into the mattress sometime soon, then Surak, Spock had to pound them hard and completely senseless now right now right now.
He removed his hand for a brief minute, trying to push it back under. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to control himself if he continued. Spock's legs might just get up and leave the room on their own accord and walk themselves to Jim's room where he'd knock on the door, for Jim to find him aching and rock hard for him.
Oh no, Spock thought. This was for him. This wasn't a fleeting curiosity, an action of science. It was Jim that Spock wanted to pound hard into the mattress. His moans that were turning him on so much. The ignorance of his emotions towards his Captain over the two years serving under him - pardon the unintentional pun - had left him with very little self control now. This was very problematic indeed.
Spock's better logic began starting up in his brain again, overpowering his need despite it throbbing viciously between his legs. He still held tightly to the sheets with his body tense, afraid to move. Jim's moans were becoming difficult to drown out. He was on the verge, and Spock couldn't listen to it without wanting to tear apart the wall bit by bit till he could-
Spock got up quickly and went to the bathroom. He swiftly turned on the shower to a cold setting that was borderline dangerous for his internal temperature. The water seared his back as he let it flow over him, allowing the pattering sound to fill his ears and mask over Jim's voice.
He tilted his head back, the icy cold water washing down his bangs and over his face. His groin was still burning, begging to be touched.
He'd love Jim to come and touch him.
Spock scrunched his face up to try and push it down. He always had difficulty suppressing himself as a child. Always so conflicted. Jim had something about him that could bring that back out from deep within him and to the surface. Whether it be anger - the type that could make him wrap his hand around his throat to choke him - or passion, Jim was the only one that could do it. Jim was his weakness.
Spock opened his eyes when the shower in Jim's bathroom next door came on, interrupting his deep thoughts. He had likely finished and was now cleaning himself up.
Spock had to tighten his jaw at the thought. He was still pumping with insatiable desire and knowing Jim was on the other side of the wall naked, roaming his hands all over his body as the shower water ran down him, was not helping.
He couldn't hold it off any longer. He took himself in his hand again, thinking about all the possible ways he could take Jim if they were in the same shower cubicle. There were many possibilities that raced through his mind and Spock wanted them all.
One lingered in his brain as he worked himself and he clung onto it. He would push Jim face first against the glass, his hard-on trapped between the hot skin of his own abdomen and the cool invisible surface, while Spock spread apart his cheeks to drill in and out from behind.
"Oh." Spock let out at the thought, his free hand reaching up to cling to the shower head pipe to steady his balance. Jim would place his hands at either side of him on the glass and arch his back, pushing his ass backwards into the water flow so Spock could hit that spot for him.
"Oh, Jim." Spock was close, he could feel it. Jim had probably left the shower by now but Spock was still working his hand away. He pumped erratically, the freezing water wetting his eyelashes and running down his chin. It flushed through his heated skin and he came hard with the sound of Jim moaning burnt into his memory.
Spock pried open his glued eyes. The edges were wet and sticky from too much sodium. He had tear ducts, yes - a fact he wasn't keen on accepting - so he must have been crying in his sleep.
Crying. How disgusting of him.
After he washed his face, he made his way to the bridge. Jim, miraculously, was there before him, sat in his chair. Wow, Spock was really slipping. Jim saw him come in and smiled at him good-naturedly. Spock could not return the gesture. He turned away without acknowledging Jim and didn't see the frown it caused.
Spock felt disgusted in himself and undeserving of any affection. How could he walk around claiming himself as a Vulcan while he spent his nights crying from terror and being a voyeur?!
"Spock, your standards are dropping. Even I got here before you this morning."
Spock heard Jim come up behind him (left foot slightly heavier than the right, more pressure on the heel than ball) but only turned in his chair to face him after he spoke. "I don't believe so, Captain."
Jim smiled. "Why's that?"
"Anomalies do occur."
"Are you saying that you waking up late is an anomaly?"
"Rather that you arriving early is, actually."
Jim enjoyed the clout. "That may be true." He laughed, but cut off after he noticed Spock wasn't meeting his eyes. "Hey, you good?"
How could Spock look Jim in the eyes after he secretly listened to him masturbate? And worse, enjoyed it. He managed to get off on it. That would be bad enough by Human standards, but by Vulcan standards, it was like cardinal sin. Just plain unholy.
Mustering his strength, Spock turned and gave a slight expression of disinterest to Jim, as he usually would.
"It seems as though you believe something to be wrong."
Jim frowned again, and Spock decided he really hated that expression on him. "Is there?"
Spock inclined his head slightly. "Of course not, Captain. If there were I would report it in my log myself."
Jim didn't seem to be buying it, and Spock wasn't sure why. He was specially behaving in exactly the same manner as always as to not alarm the Captain. But Jim, like always, was able to see past the facade to the points of weakness. He rested a hand on Spock's arm to lean in close and he resisted the urge to flinch away.
"I'm here, you know that right?"
Spock moved out of range. "Obviously. I am certain I am not having a hallucination of you. Though that would explain why you got to the bridge before me this morning."
Jim scoffed. "I'm serious. If you want to talk, I'm here."
This was surely some ruse to get an emotional response from him. Spock wasn't keen on showing any weakness. "We are talking now, Captain."
Jim rolled his eyes so violently they almost popped out of his head. "Fine. Don't talk. Be the stubborn jackass you think you are." He left all too quickly back to his chair to firmly plank himself in it.
Spock didn't call him back, but he missed the company throughout his whole shift.
Spock shouldn't have been surprised when he heard the door late that evening.
"I'm sorry." Jim said once Spock opened the door.
"If this is about your word choice of describing me as a 'stubborn jackass', that would imply that I took offence to the words. Which I did not."
Jim stood staring at the floor scowling for a solid minute before huffing and letting himself in. Spock didn't stop Jim practically pushing past him, and stood with his arms folded behind his back.
"What's wrong with you?" He exasperated, flopping himself on Spock's bed.
Spock raised both his eyebrows. "I'm sure you are the one who has shown up uninvited into another person's quarters."
It wasn't supposed to come out so spiteful, and Spock didn't like the way it made Jim flinch.
"So you don't want me around you now, is that it?"
"I request for you to stop being so defensive and jumping to false conclusions. Humans have such an aptitude for thinking they are the centre of the universe. This is not about you." Spock wasn't lying because it wasn't, in part at least.
Jim was a bit too relieved that Spock claimed his conclusion as false that he didn't realise he had just been insulted.
A smug expression wormed it's way onto his face instead. "So there is something then?"
Spock tightened his stance a little, folding his arms more than his joints would comfortably allow.
"And don't say you never said that, you literally just did."
Spock didn't falter at Jim's attempts to break him.
Then Jim sighed, deeply distressed. He looked at Spock with eyes that weren't malicious, nor did they have their usual mischievous glint. They looked tired. Tired of running and getting nowhere. He was finally fed up with him.
"You can tell me anything, Spock. Please don't hide from me." Jim looked like he was the broken one. He looked like he had taken a bad rejection. Spock didn't like it.
He inhaled and exhaled, giving up.
"Ever since the destruction of Vulcan," he began, turning away from Jim to begin pacing so he didn't have to look him in the eye. "I have felt... conflicted." He paused, searching for the right word.
Jim's response was soft. "In what way?"
Spock faltered, trying to justify himself. "Vulcans are taught from a young age to suppress themselves. Emotions run so much deeper. When my planet was destroyed - you cannot imagine the loss I felt."
Jim was quiet, afraid of scaring Spock off.
"My entire race, or more accurately, what is left of us, is connected." He pressed a couple of fingers to the side of his temple as he spoke. "Suppressing my own grief is one task, but trying to suppress the grief of a whole species-" His voice went still. "The constant repression is too much to bear in my waking hours. The grief spills into my sleeping hours too."
Jim cleared his throat. "Like, nightmares?"
"You think of me as a child." Spock groaned, feeling anger bubble.
Jim stood from the bed straight away to take hold of Spock's forearms. "No, no, no. I don't. I know how hard it is for you to speak about this."
"I see death." Spock said, dully. "Through the eyes of everyone who were one with Vulcan. I see childrens' death. I see my mother's death again and again, the fear she felt..."
Jim moved his arms from Spock's forearms to his shoulders to grip them tightly, before pulling him into a tight hug. Spock remained stiff in the embrace.
When Jim let him go, he pulled him over to the bed so they could sit.
"For a long time in my culture, it was seen as wrong for men to be open about themselves - just to talk about their own fucking feelings for Christ's sake - without being laced with shame." Jim began. "There's nothing to be ashamed of, Spock. Your culture might be a certain way, and I respect that, but you are Human too. You need to let these things out. It clearly isn't healthy."
Spock would have loved to listen to what Jim was saying, but it became a fuzzy mess as the sound waves reached his ears. He was a bit too busy looking at the movement of his lips. "Jim." He uttered quietly under his breath without his brain agreeing to.
Jim looked over at him first expectantly, then his gaze softened and hardened all at the same time when he caught the way Spock was looking at him.
"Spock...?" he whispered. His breathing had deepened considerably and Spock loved observing the way his chest flickered with every breath. Every detail of Jim, even the minute, was exceptional.
"God, stop looking at me like that." Jim began, squirming under intense brown eyes, but Spock didn't want to stop looking. For once, he wanted more than to just look. And it was this exact moment he realised just how long, and how badly, he wanted it.
"Jim," Spock said, clear as day. "You are aware of the tension between us, are you not?"
"Spock, a deaf-blind man with half his brain removed would be aware of the tension between us right now." Jim blew out a breath. And not just in this particular moment either; with the tension between them on the bridge, in the elevator, canteen, engineering, sick bay, rec room and pretty much every and any room available on the starship, no wonder the crew were mysteriously disappearing everytime they were around. Spock must have been stupid to take two years to see it.
"Then you will not be offended at me wanting to kiss you right now."
Jim faltered; quite gob-smacked in Spock's triumphant opinion. He wasn't quite sure that Spock was capable of thinking those things, let alone saying them out loud.
"Offended?" Jim recovered remarkably quickly. "Why would I be offended?"
"You are not offended?" Spock drew his brows together. Surely, the Captain would have some objection towards his First Officer attempting to court him. But then he remembered, this was Jim.
"Of course not, Spock." Jim scoffed. "You're fucking hot." He added.
Spock felt his gaze cloud. “I, of course, had noticed your several attempts to seduce me-”
"Just stop trying to be a smartass for once and just do it already." Jim burst into movement. He stood up from beside Spock and climbed straight onto his lap, swinging a leg over his thighs so he could press himself against Spock's torso. He touched their lips together and Spock lifted a hand to cup Jim's face, opening to deepen it.
Surak, Spock really had no idea exactly what he was missing out on. Jim adjusted himself a little more comfortably on Spock's lap - which was quite torturous enough - and so detached their lips for a few seconds. It felt like an eternity to Spock. He placed his hands on the soft curve of Jim's ass to bring him closer as if it were reflex.
Jim chuckled, actually chuckled before he met Spock's lips again, and Spock squeezed the cheeks of his ass firmly to shut him up.
It had precisely the opposite effect, but Spock did not complain.
Jim cupped his hands around his face and rocked his hips slightly. Spock had to still him quickly because if he continued, it would soon be more than a kiss and he didn't know if Jim was prepared for that. Well, prepared for him. He was sure Jim was always prepared for sex, but being prepared for sex was one thing and being prepared for Spock was another. He was betting Jim had not taken a Vulcan lover before, and even if he had, Spock was unlike anyone Jim had ever encountered before. Spock almost let out a possessive growl at the thought of sharing.
"Spock..." Jim muttered against his lips, probably from protest at Spock having stilled his hips' movement. He tried to move them again, but Spock held him tightly so it was a simple light brush of crotches against each other instead of firm hard-on against hard-on like Jim was intending. Which Spock was absolutely dying for.
Spock reluctantly pulled away, feeling himself slip deeper and deeper. "Jim." he said slowly in return.
Jim was quiet for a few seconds once they parted. "So that's what it feels like." He muttured to himself more than to Spock. Then, sliding off Spock's semi-hard lap he smirked and said "I always said you were incredibly sexy. No one believed me, because you're so low-profile. But that's what makes it more sexy to me." he chuckled.
Spock, who had surprised himself at his own self-control of just having Jim on his lap without having him fucked into oblivion, very nearly smiled. "I'm glad you think so."
"Oh you're glad, are you?"
”But not at you discussing my apparent sexual attractiveness with members of the crew. It’s highly unprofessional.”
”And this isn’t?” Jim said silkily with a sudden change in his posture, and Spock had to send him away now or he wouldn’t be allowed to leave the bed all night.
"Goodnight, Jim." He said.
Jim beamed. "Goodnight." he replied, at the doorway, before closing the door behind him. Spock had barely let out an exhale before Jim's head had popped back in.
"Hey, if you need anything, like, you have a bad night or whatever, I'm right next door."
A Vulcan would have been insulted at the suggestion, being regarded as incapable of supressing their own emotions, but Spock was aware of the loyalty and respect in the offer. He inclined his head, as a thank you. Jim bid goodnight a final time, and left Spock to flop backwards onto his bed, feeling lighter than before.
Spock woke up hard the next morning, which wasn't a surprise really. He glanced over at the time, which told him he was earlier than usual. He was fine. Spock stood up with some difficulty and made his way to the shower.
He never got there, because he heard Jim moan through the wall. Instantly, he froze, feeling the sound automatically head straight towards his already hard cock. At the second sound, Spock was suddenly stood by the wall, eager to hear more.
Jim was either dreaming or awake, the latter being statistically less likely since Jim was never awake at this time. But the sounds were muffled so he probably was awake, likely with a fist in his mouth to stiffle himself.
Spock would have loved to be on the other side of the wall, responsible for the amazing sounds Jim was producing. He took his aching shaft into his hand and began stroking.
“How do unravel me so?” Spock muttered to himself as he glided his hand up and down his throbbing cock. He opened his free hand, placing it precisely in the correct position on the wall he was stood by. His index and middle finger met with the wall’s surface as his other hand continued on it’s occupied quest.
It hadn’t occured to him to mind meld through the wall before. He couldn’t quite meld through objects but he could tap into others, get a feel of their thoughts and emotions. He focused and felt Jim on the other side, aching with want.
It sent chills through Spock, just how badly he could feel Jim wanted it.
“Oh, God.” Jim let out, working himself throughly, close to edge. He must have been awake well before Spock, teasing himself to climax. Spock gripped himself tighter and pumped, the same desire that was coursing through Jim now coursing through him. He loved listening to Jim on the edge, the way he completely lost himself in a way Spock felt like he never could.
“Jim.” He choked out.
“Fuck yes, fuck yes.” Jim panted.
Spock nearly severed the connection through the wall, his whole body was shaking. He felt a release begin to coil up inside the pit of his belly. He needed Jim's slightly muffled moans to fuel his release because he needed Jim to be his release. He wanted Jim to be here on his side of the wall, sprawled out on his back, begging for him.
Jim went quiet, the only sounds Spock could hear was frantic, repeated slick noises. Moments later Jim came hard with a shout.
Spock came simultaneously, feeling Jim’s orgasm sear through his skin. It made Spock go completely blank in the brain. The feel of both their orgasms together almost made him lose balance. He could only imagine what it would feel like to buried deep within Jim, climaxing together as they mind melded. It would be phenomenal.
He sighed deeply, and got into the shower.
Spock was on time to the bridge, gleefully back to his creaseless routine. Jim was briskly on time to his shift as well and even more suprisingly; with correct uniform on too. It was enough to make Spock sing.
"Captain on the bridge." Chekov called.
He nodded at the senior officers as he took his seat in his chair, lingering a little on Spock.
"Mr. Spock." he nodded, with a wisp of hidden smirk.
To anyone else on the bridge it would look like a typical greeting, but Spock was well trained in the art of repression. He knew surpressed emotion when he saw it.
"Captain." He greeted, just as smoothly, without the slightest quiver of a smile.
The day ran as it usually would, aside from the odd looks Jim gave him from across the bridge. They were not different to looks he had given Spock in the past, only this time instead of quickly looking away once Spock had caught him, he held his gaze. His eyes were moulded with I want you. Spock lifted a brow in question, making Jim grin.
"Captain, engineering is reporting a fault in the wireworks that requires your immediate attention." Sulu stated, swivelling his chair around to face Jim.
The Captain stood rather eagerly. "Well. Guess I'll have have to take a look then." He said, already walking towards the elevator leading off the bridge.
"But Sir, I haven't told you which deck?" Sulu stated, and Jim halted to turn around very slowly. His gaze changed from eager to expectant. There were a few moments of silence.
"The deck, Sulu."
"Ah. Deck 26."
Jim made a expression to show exasperation as if it was his crew that were failing him, and quickly left in the elevator.
It wasn't even five minutes before the comm buzzed.
"Kirk to the bridge."
"Sulu here, Captain. How's engineering?"
"I need- we need an expert on wires. Send Mr. Spock to deck 26."
Spock stood from his desk. "You have the conn, Mr. Sulu." He stated, and went in the elevator to the head towards deck 26 without so much as a sigh.
As he strolled down the hall, Spock was gripped firmly by his blue shirt and practically dragged into a random room, the door sliding shut behind him.
"Captain?" Spock couldn't stop his suprise from seeping through. "You're supposed to be in engineering checking faulty and potentially fatally dangerous wires."
"Engineering can fucking wait." Jim still had a firm grip on his shirt. "We'll get there, Spock. I couldn't throw away this perfect opportunity to finally get you alone, not when you were fucking looking at me like that all day."
The room was dimly lit, so Spock couldn't tell if Jim's dilated pupils were because of attraction or the low light levels.
"Like what?" Spock challenged. "I have not looked at you any different today than I have in the two years I've known you."
"Exactly." Jim said, and had to tiptoe to smash his lips onto Spock's. He kissed hungrily, like he'd never taste Spock again, and it lit a fire in Spock that he wasn't aware existed.
Spock pushed Jim up against one of the handrails, adjusting his hands on his body so he could lift Jim against it to sit on. He then planted himself firmly in between his legs, marvelling at the way Jim wrapped his legs around him, marvelling at such an effect he could have on him. He kept his hands tight around the small of his back to keep him from falling, Jim kept his hand fisted in Spock's shirt for balance.
He grunted when he felt Spock press closer against him and Spock almost grunted in return as Jim's legs tightened around him, slipping his hands under his shirt. The feel of his heated skin under his sensitive fingertips was electric.
"Shit, I've been wanting to do this to you all day." Jim groaned before rejoining their lips to continue their heated kiss.
"Jim," Spock bit out between breaths. "Engineering... Jim-"
"Fuck engineering Spock, I want you." Jim gruffed.
Spock had to muster all of his strength to pull away. "It wouldn't do to go missing at a time like this." He said, but his voice went up an octave at the end of his sentence as Jim began a kissing assault down his throat instead. He continued despite Spock's protests. "Jim, the ship could be in trouble."
That was a low blow, both of then knew because Jim faltered on his next kiss. He sighed with exasperation before sealing his lips a final time along Spock's collar bone.
"Alright." He jumped down from the railing, straightening his shirt. "That was such a cheap shot, Spock, how could you play so dirty?"
"Because I'm aware that at the mere mention of your precious ship in in any condition other than pristine, you would cease anything."
Jim stopped Spock before they got to the door. "Almost anything." He warned, and kissed him a final time before they headed towards engineering.
Scotty did not falter at Spock arriving alongside the captain uncalled for. He didn't mention their ruffled clothes, and certainly didn't notice the hint of a green bruise on the side of Spock's neck peeking out from under his uniform.
"Afternoon. Captain, Spock." He said before showing them towards the broken panel to fix the wires and let them do what they did best, when they were together.
The heat was searing. Surak knew why. It was painfully hot, and that was saying something since Vulcans were a lot more adaptable to hotter temperatures. All Spock could feel was burning, unbearable humidity. This was not the climate for a typical Summer's day on Vulcan. Something was wrong.
He looked left and right. The city of Shi'Khar was prosperous. Vulcans were milling about their usual day. The red desert sand of Vulcan stretched out as far as the eye could see off into the distance. Nothing seemed to be out of focus. Then why did something feel so very wrong?
Spock would have reflected on this, but he didn't get a chance. The ground trembled beneath him. It was gentle, but enough to be noticed. He looked around. People did not seem to notice.
When it happened a second time, it shook a few people into focus. They looked around, confused, but Spock was glad he was not becoming delusional.
"Sotek!" Someone shouted, and Spock found himself turning. A woman was rushing towards him. She grabbed him by the arms, the only indication of how she was truly feeling. "Sotek. There have been calls from Vulcana Regar. The planet is to be destroyed in less than twenty minutes." Her voice was calm, even.
Spock felt his arms come up to cup her face. The movement made Spock aware he was not in control of his body. "Then we must get to the escape capsules in the city centre, T'hy'la."
The words had left him without his mouth even being aware it was moving. The words, and even the voice that spoke them, Spock realised, were not his. He was a passenger in another body, but he could feel all the emotion in it. Sotek's anxiety and fear, became Spock's own.
They walked quickly together. His T'hy'la worked in communications, which is why she probably knew before the planet-wide distress message came a few minutes later. And she had come running, only for him and no one else. Logic made no deals with her there.
Nothing could have prepared Spock for the chaos that ensued. It added to the sheer panic that was flapping around his chest. He was terrified. A great crowd of people had gathered in the main city hall, eager to get off the planet. They pushed and pressed against each other as they tried to move forwards. He felt his T'hy'la grab hold of the crook in his elbow, to steady to herself and stop herself getting lost in the thick thrum of people around her.
"It's unlikely that many will get out." He whispered to her, through a slight pain in his chest that made him very sure. She said nothing in return but squeezed his arm. As they continued their walk, Spock found his body was slowing on him, even his bondmate had taken a speed faster than him, so he was being dragged behind her rather than the other way round. The pain in his chest from before had now increased, making Spock think it wasn't just the feeling of certainty that bloomed there; it was medical.
He huffed out his breaths, pausing in movement. His T'hy'la paused with him, the Vulcans around them tutting with distaste at their lack of consideration as they squeezed past. It wasn't just the feeling of so many people around him that was making Spock claustrophobic, he actually was finding it difficult to breathe.
"Again?" She said softly to him and he could do nothing more but nod. "We must get to the hall. From there we can deliver medicine. But please, Sotek, try and keep going."
Then Spock figured it out. It was cardiovascular. His father had suffered from it, as did a lot of males of Vulcan. It was common for those under extreme stress, usually because of their line of work with the added pressure of constant emotional suppression. A sharp pain emanating from deep in his ribcage solidified his theory, enough to make him lurch with pain.
"Please, Sotek." She begged. "Try to continue. For me."
No matter how illogical, that sentence was enough to get him to push himself. He got up and continued.
It took increadibly long to get to the registrar in the hall, the masses of Vulcans around them were overwhelming. Escape ship after escape ship were being sent up to space.
An officer of some kind who was directing the crowd paused at the pair.
"We have only one space aboard this ship. One will have to join the next."
"You must go." She said to him. "At least get your medication. I can wait, you cannot."
"How long for the next ship?" Spock asked the officer.
The same pain broke through his chest again. He knew the planet did not have 15 minutes. With a glace at his T'hy'la he saw that she had just made the same conclusion as well.
"I won't go." He said, simply. His T'hy'la looked at him with an unmasked expression of worry. Without hesitation, he said again firmly, "Go."
She panicked. Openly. "Sotek! You cannot expect me to leave you!"
Spock didn't want to hear it because it was making his heart pain with a different type of ache. "You are being illogical. I have a serious heart condition that isn't likely to get better. You are perfectly healthy. Leave the planet."
"I will not leave you!" She said again, grasping at him.
"And I will not be responsible for your death. Leave, T'hy'la, now. While you still can."
She opened her mouth to object again, but Spock intergected. "This is not up for discussion."
He held up his middle and index finger for her to mirror the action. One final time. She could not mask the pain in her face as she did so, and was met with his pain as they touched fingers. "I love you."
"As I do you." He replied, wrapping a hand around the back of her neck to press their foreheads together. The sharp feeling in his chest was getting more and more unbearable.
He watched as the escape pod lifted into the air. Spock nearly doubled in pain, when the ground shook horrifically beneath him. He lost his balance and fell. When he looked up, a large section of the nearby cliff had detached itself from the cliff face. It started to fall. Spock looked, and knew.
"No!" He yelled, but it was illogical, because he couldn't stop the large rock falling, crushing the entire pod with it.
"T'hy'la!" He screamed from the floor on his back, a searing agony ploughed through the back of his skull, ripping out their bond, taking the last of her presence with it. She was truly gone.
He sobbed tearlessly and endlessly, even as the walls of the city hall began to crumble around him, even as others around him shouted and ran for their lives. Because he had nothing to live for. The pain in his chest was torturous. Spock was sure he was also going deaf because his screams were not being picked up by his own ears even though his throat had shown no intent on stopping. It must have been the falling debris around him, drowning him out.
Spock felt that emptiness in his head, his T'hy'la gone forever, and he was ready to die. He welcomed the falling building on top of him with screams of loss.
Spock awoke screaming, jerking and kicking at the blanket on top of him. It was smothering, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't move, he was being buried alive by a building- oh Surak help, Spock wasn't ready to die yet...
There was a beep at his door where Jim had used the emergency-only code to get in. How loud had he screamed to wake Jim on the other side of a soundproof wall?
"Spock?!" He said, barging in.
Spock stopped screaming. But he couldn't still his chest from hyperventilating.
"Spock! What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Jim rushed to his side when he flicked on the light.
Spock couldn't speak. That one was so real. It was so real. He felt it completely.
Jim must have understood somehow in the way he always did. He tentatively put his hand on Spock's shoulder.
"You're okay." He said simply. Spock had to be grateful that Jim wasn't treating him like a child.
"I-" Spock croaked, his voice hoarse. "I saw her die."
Jim crawled onto the bed next to him, sliding an arm around him so he could place his head on Spock's shoulder. "I know you did." He said softly in his ear.
No, thought Spock. That's not who I saw this time.
"I loved- h-he loved her." Spock could just about say coherently.
Jim looked expectantly at him, confused.
"His name was Sotek." Spock explained. "And he loved her more than life."
"It's okay." Jim offered, because he wasn't very good at this. "It was just a dream."
"No it wasn't! It happened! It was real and people lost their lives, Jim!" Spock stood from the bed quickly, pacing. "But you wouldn't understand that, would you?" He spat.
Jim raised his eyebrows in suprise at the outburst.
Spock sighed. "Apologies. I didnt intend-"
"No, you're right." Jim said, standing up and heading towards the door. "I'm just an incapable Human, right? What do I know about emotion, about loss?"
Spock grabbed Jim by the wrist. "Don't leave, Jim. Can you-" Spock swallowed his pride. "Can you stay with me for the night? I feel more comforted in your presence."
That softened him, and soon they were both laid on their backs staring at the ceiling.
"I know you said it isn't about your mother, but she's proud of you." Jim said to the ceiling. "Of all the things you've achieved already, of all the things you'll achieve in the future."
But Spock realised it was, it was actually his mother he was thinking about after all. The dream had stirred his mother's death back up in him. How could Jim see so clearly through him when even Spock himself struggled to see through the great depths of himself?
"I'm aware of that, Jim." Spock said to the ceiling as well. "But knowing that happens to make dealing with her loss more difficult. She only saw a sliver of my accomplishments. She never got to see what her son was yet to achieve."
"Spoken like a true Vulcan.” Jim tutted and shook his head. “She loved you, Spock. I know she did. And that's the important bit." Jim turned over, as if he was going to add to that particular sentence. He faltered.
"Something wrong?" Spock looked over at him.
"Nothing," Jim mused, lifting a hand to bat the subject away. As he did, his hand bumped into Spock's, making them both jump.
Which was ridiculous really, since they had already kissed and groped each other at every sneaky opportunity which unfortunately, wasn't as often as Jim would have liked.
"Sorry." Spock said, suddenly making the moment a lot more formal than it should have been. They were in a bed together for Christ sake-
To counter this, Jim tangled his hand into Spocks, feeling him suck in a breath and tense. Jim looked over, a little worried.
"Is this okay?"
Spock suddenly remembered how to exhale. "Yes. Yes- sorry. It's not that, it's just..."
"This is considered a sexual position on Vulcan."
Jim couldn't believe his ears. "Hand-holding?"
"The tips of my fingers are not just excellent conductors for mind-melding, they are an erogenous zone. And a large one at that."
Jim thought for a quick moment. Strange enough, that made sense. And explained a lot. "So this is equal to me grabbing hold of your crotch?"
Spock's breath hitched when Jim tightened his hold. "If that analogy will help you understand, then yes."
"I'll take note of that for next time."
Spock had to remove his hand after a few moments, claiming the stimulation was too much. Jim let go hurriedly, because he couldn't imagine what it would feel like if Spock had a hold on his dick for that long. Not stroking, just holding tortuously. He quickly banished the thought; it was making him hard.
"Don't worry, Spock. I wouldn't rile you up if I wasn't going to fuck you. Which I'm not. I'm not that sick where I'd take advantage of your emotional state after a nightmare." Jim teased, but was suprised when he didn't respond to the teasing of being regarded as emotional. Jim looked back over to Spock.
He had his face screwed up tight. "I would ask to desist speaking about fucking while in my bed, after holding my hand, especially when you're not intending to." Spock wheezed.
Jim laughed at him.
“You know, if I got a credit for every time we ran into an ‘unexpected’ turn of events whenever we tried to complete a simple mission, I’d be rich.” Jim stated to the senior officers on the bridge after they had just dealt with a persistent ambassador for a negotiation.
“You are rich, Jim, you own a whole goddamn farm in Iowa.” McCoy rolled his eyes at him.
“I mean Andorian-manners aside,” He continued, completely ignoring the comment. “He was just plain rude. And that’s coming from me.”
“Heaven above, are you actually admitting to a flaw?”
“If he wanted a smoother negotiation he could have just been nice.” Jim carried on ignoring.
McCoy scoffed. “Maybe you should’ve just used ‘the look’ on him.
The sentence was enough to make Jim pay McCoy some mind. “What look?”
”That look. The look you use on me when you want to get out of a medical exam.”
It didn’t take a minute for Jim to get up to speed. He laughed. “Yeah, I probably should’ve.”
Spock was sat listening to the conversation as he worked in the corner. Jim and McCoy were very close friends, but not in the same way Jim and Spock were friends. It irked away at him for a reason he wasn’t quite sure on, but they interacted in a borderine-flirty way. Jim was like that with everyone of course, but it felt different with McCoy. But McCoy had been friends with Jim for longer than he had been so Spock didn’t really have a justifiable reason for reacting in such a way.
It wasn’t even that he hated McCoy. They had their moments, sure, but he respected him. Their back-and-forth banter was purely without any spite. Spock would say fondness, but then he’d rather shoot himself than admit that out loud.
He couldn’t help burning with... jealousy? Is that what this was? It was so illogical it almost made Spock laugh at himself. But he was too busy metaphorically burning two eye holes in the back of McCoy’s skull.
Jim patted a heavy hand on McCoy’s shoulder as he threw his head back to laugh, and Spock seethed. He picked up a PADD and made his way over to them.
Jim looked over at him, wiping a tear from his eye from laughter at the story McCoy had reminded him of from their time together at the Academy. Spock swallowed.
“Oh hey, Spock. Sorry I’m just-” Jim cut himself off to splutter again. “McCoy is an ass when he wants to be.”
”That we can agree on.” Spock stated, making McCoy narrow his eyes at him.
“Is Spock actually agreeing with someone? Someone send me in for cardiac arrest.” McCoy rolled his eyes.
“We can only hope.” Spock countered.
“Of course we can only hope. I’d take that ocer conversation with you. And it would take a miracle for anything cardiac to go wrong in that barren torso of yours.”
“When it comes to you, Doctor, I tend to agree with most peoples’ opinions. That is, you are insufferable.” Spock held out the PADD to Jim, cutting the conversation before it escalated.
”What’s this?” Jim looked at him.
”A signature is required for the supply order.”
“You already did it? But I was going to do it.” Jim crinkled his brow.
“You seemed occupied.” Spock said nonchalantly.
Jim shrugged and took PADD to sign. “One less job for me, I guess.”
McCoy caught Spock’s eye as Jim was busy. He smirked (knowingly?) at him. Spock gritted his teeth.
Jim handed the PADD back when he was done. “Thanks Spock. Now Bones, where were we-”
Spock took the PADD back to his station at the dismissal, but noticed he had bent it almost in half from the firm grip he had on it. Discreetly, he put it in the drawer and fetched a new one, watching both Jim and McCoy from the corner of his eye. Jim was now telling an intricate story in return.
Spock sat in his chair and took deep inhales and exhales. He didn’t even know why he was feeling like this, when he knew that their relationship was entirely platonic. It wasn’t McCoy that Jim was kissing at every available opportunity.
Which came to another important point. Jim and Spock were friends. But friends didn’t kiss or get off to the sounds of each other. They had stretched the boundaries of their existing relationship and it made Spock’s stomach turn with uncertainty. If it was entirely sexual then it would have been more straightforward, but then Jim had spent most of the night in his bed - holding his hand! - and they hadn’t had sex. Didn’t even come close. What was it then, if it wasn’t just sexual?
Spock looked down. He had accidentally dropped the PADD while deep in thought. He heard McCoy bark out a laugh at Jim’s story across the bridge and sighed, bending over to pick it up.
Jim carried on his talking once McCoy was done laughing. Spock’s ears were always finely tuned to the sound of Jim’s voice. When he bent over, Jim stopped talking completely mid-sentence.
“It was stupid of him, but I always thought he-”
Spock paused in his bent position, intruiged. He sneaked a look behind him, and found Jim staring intensely (and unashamedly) right at his ass.
”Are you okay?” McCoy asked, about to turn around as well.
“Yeah!” Jim said extravagantly, waving his hands, trying to keep McCoy’s attention forward on him and not on Spock. He continued speaking, glancing back at Spock every now and then.
Spock smiled to himself as he straightened up. Of course such a simple thing would get his attention...
He placed the PADD down, making sure to catch Jim’s eye. When he did, he wandered over to his station, bending over the console elaborately to peer into the scope’s lens. Jim stuttered as he spoke, gaze becoming darker as he saw Spock splay himself out for him.
“And then remember, I-I, uh, I said that- the guard-” Jim fumbled for words, effectively distracted.
Spock tried not to be too smug with himself as he straightened up, altering settings for his visual field. Once he calibrated the scope, he bent back over it again, making sure to slow his movements down.
Jim hissed in a breath sharply from across the bridge and Spock grinned into the scope lens.
McCoy seemed concerned at Jim’s sudden change in behaviour. “What is up with you?”
Jim tried to snap himself out of it. “I-I...” he shook his head again. “Sorry Bones, I’ve forgotten what I was going to say. I’ll catch up with you later.” He dismissed, sitting - quite forcibly - in his chair. His hands tightened around the arms either side of him.
McCoy took the dismissal with a shrug and finally left but Spock was still pumping with jealousy. He abandoned his console, heading straight for the elevator. Jim followed him with narrowed eyes as he moved. Spock gave him ‘the look’ as the doors slid shut. Jim understood.
And moments later, Jim found himself in the elevator once it returned after taking him. Spock was waiting for him outside a storage unit. Jim knew the drill. He went straight in without a word, Spock following silently after.
When they were in, Jim was not expecting Spock to throw himself at him and kiss him within an inch of his life.
He grunted from surprise at almost being crushed, flapping his hands around to get a hold of something. When Spock finally got him pressed against the wall, he remembered how to kiss back.
And fuck, it was one of the hottest kisses he’d ever had. Spock had him up against the wall with his hands either side of him, effectively trapping him between his body and the wall as he ravaged his lips. Jim pushed up against him when he wrapped his hands around him, trying to feel as much of him as possible. Spock kept kissing and kissing - forgetting Jim couldn’t hold his breath for as long as he could - and had Jim gasping when he pulled away.
“You’re mine.” He growled at him, voice gruff.
Jim throbbed with arousal. He didn’t get a chance to say anything because Spock had taken an interest in his neck and his sentence became a squeak.
Spock liked that. He continued, occasionally dragging his teeth along his skin and making Jim squirm. Spock being rough had Jim fully hard in a couple of minutes. He noticed, and moved his hand from beside Jim on the wall to his aching groin.
Jim moaned and bucked at the touch. Spock didn’t stop with his mouth at Jim’s neck, swirling circles with his tongue and leaving an odd bite here or there as he palmed Jim through his trousers. He was going to mark Jim’s pretty skin and let everyone know he was his.
“Spock. Stop teasing, please.” Jim was leaking at this point. Spock grinned. Humans were so terribly easy to turn on. Just to show him exactly how much he was in control of the moment, Spock continued the teasing for a few more minutes.
Then he stopped completely, making Jim almost sob.
“You’re mine.” He repeated to him, and Jim squirmed.
“I’m yours. God I’m yours- make me yours.” He panted.
Spock hitched up Jim’s shirt so he could plant kisses down his torso as he got onto his knees.
“Hold it.” Spock said firmly to him. Jim held the shirt up to keep his chest and stomach exposed, legs shaking with anticipation. Spock wasted no time in freeing Jim’s cock and swallowing it down with a groan.
Fuck, Jim would have come just like that; it was so deliciously good and he needed it that badly. It was ecstasy when he moved. Spock hollowed his cheeks and continued, milking Jim for all he was worth in a steady, torturous rhythm.
Jim dropped the shirt with a moan when Spock touched a particularly sensitive spot. Spock stopped instantly and pulled off, making Jim nearly scream.
“Why did you stop! Oh, god, don’t stop now!”
Spock raised an eyebrow. “I asked you to hold the shirt up. Do it.”
Jim whimpered and obeyed.
“That’s it. You’re such a good boy, Jim. I’m going to look at your body while you come.”
Jim shivered violently at the words. He didn’t know Spock had such a filthy mouth. Finally, Spock got his mouth back on him. Jim touched his fingers to his own exposed nipples, looking down at Spock as he glided in and out of his mouth.
Spock looked at him up with dark, intense eyes. He studied Jim as worked him with his tongue, burning every expression, every movement he made into his memory. It was as if he was observing like a science experiment, testing how each variable move affected the outcome of Jim’s reaction, changing his technique accordingly. That look alone was doing it for Jim.
“Fuck, Spock, fuck. I’m coming.”
Spock felt him twitch and inhaled before swallowing down the entire girth. Jim groaned loud when Spock’s nose touched at the soft mound of pubic hair and he sunk himself deep into Spock’s mouth for his release, squeezing his nipples tightly.
Spock held him by the hips, steadying him as he came down from the trembling orgasm. He then got to his feet, and Jim gripped him to pull him back in for another kiss.
“Jealous? Really, Spock?” He said when they broke away.
Spock narrowed his eyes at Jim when they broke away and said nothing at the comment.
“Come on, don’t give me that look, it’s obvious.”
Spock raised an eyebrow. “Obvious?” He said, because a trait that Spock was particularly proud of was that his emotional state was never ever regarded to as ‘obvious’.
“It’s only McCoy, for God’s sake. But I’m not complaining, because the possessive sex after? I’m fucking living for it.” Jim grinned at him, then his expression changed to a more suggestive one. “But we haven’t even had the best bit yet; it’s your turn.”
He gripped at Spock’s hardness through his trousers, turning him around so he was now against the wall instead. “Jesus, you’re fucking big. My god, your self-control is something else. How you’ve managed to last this long is beyond me.”
Spock grunted in the back of his throat and let his head tilt back to the wall. Yes, this is what he wanted; Jim just like this, besotted with desire and ready to pleasure him... only him-
“Captain?” A voice came through the door.
They both froze in their precarious position, Jim’s hand stilled on Spock’s groin and Spock reflexively cupped a hand over Jim’s mouth to keep him silent.
“Spock? Are you in there?” Spock and Jim looked at each other when the voice came again, both recognising it as Uhura.
“If you’re in there- God, why did they ask me to do this? If you’re in there, you’re both needed on the bridge.”
Her footsteps faded away, and Spock removed his hand from Jim’s mouth.
“Jeez!” He breathed.
“Now where were we?”
Spock held out a hand to stop him. “We’re needed, Jim.”
“They can wait a few more minutes.” Jim scoffed.
“I don’t mean any disrespect but it will take more than a few minutes to get me anywhere close to a release.”
Jim raised his eyebrows, impressed. Then they furrowed. “You can’t go out like that.” He said, pointing to his bulge.
Spock nearly rolled his eyes. “I can control my heartrate and therefore my bloodflow.” He reminded.
Jim looked down again and was surprised to see Spock’s groin decrease in size.
“Wow. I didn’t know it worked like that.” He said, amazed. “Can you teach me how to do that? Would come in useful.” Jim scowled. “Like today, for example. You have a fantastic ass by the way, did I tell you that?”
Spock smiled as he straightened out his clothes in an attempt to look presentable. “You can tell me as much as you like during our chess match tonight.”
Jim looked confused for a moment before he realised what Spock was implying. His grin reached his ears. “Oh sure.”
Jim straightened out the chairs in the corner of the room. He let out a quick huff of breath, dusting away the imaginary dust.
Did he ever ruffle himself like this? No. Why was he acting like this? He didn’t know.
But he did know one thing, he had been waiting for this forever.
And Spock’s dick was going to feel so good rammed up his ass-
Jim hit himself upside the head. He needed to stop thinking that every other minute. It used to be an idea that came into his mind every now and then, until it became a thought that he very much liked, and it became a regular occurance to think about how fucking attractive Spock was. If he was being honest, it was one of his first thoughts when he met Spock for the first time.
And Spock had no fucking idea just how attractive he actually was. He had people drooling over him left, right and centre. Like Jim, for example. And Jim didn’t drool after people, they drooled after him.
Jim needed to get a hold of himself. He wasn’t even completely sure they were going to actually have sex tonight. Maybe what Spock was implying was just banter. Spock was always so painfully oblivious. He couldn’t bare it if Spock came in thinking they were just going to play chess. Maybe Jim was the one overthinking things, reading a little too deep. Either way, if it was sex anything like the store-room earlier today, Jim was ready for it.
He sat himsef in his chair, bringing a hand to his face as he lapsed into thought.
Maybe if Jim made himsef a bit more comfortable, made it look like he wasn’t actively waiting for him, he’d be a little more relaxed. Jesus, Jim was really overthinking. When did he ever get this worked up about sex?
An idea came to him. Maybe if he looked like he was waiting for Spock, then they’d get straight to it; Jim didn’t think he’d be able to last another minute of testosterone-fuelled chess with open ‘fuck me already’ glares from across the board. Or maybe that was just him projecting.
The communicator beeped.
“Spock to Captain Kirk.”
Jim flicked it open.
“Kirk here, Spock.”
“Captain. I have just finished my duties for the evening so I apologise in advance for the delay. I take it you are suitably prepared by now?”
“Prepared?” Jim asked, puzzled.
“For our chess match, Captain.”
Jim went quiet. Shit. He really wasn’t getting anything out of this was he? Jim didn’t realise he still hadn’t spoken yet until he heard Spock speak.
Of course, Jim was clearly being too stupid to realise how stupid he was, because Spock had to actually, physically sigh at him on the end.
The line went dead, then the communicator beeped again so quickly that Jim didn’t have time to put it down.
“I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. It was an open line. I took the liberty of connecting you to a private one to explain myself, since I assumed from your silence that you didn’t understand.” There was an inhale. “When I say I want you prepared, I mean that I want you naked, aroused, well-lubricated and spread out waiting for me by the time I come in. Can you do that for me, Jim?” Spock spoke in low throaty tone that made Jim’s cock jump.
Jim lost the ability to speak. He stuttered.
“Do you understand me?” Spock said much firmer, and Jim had to bite on his lip. “Are you aroused yet or should I keep talking?”
“Oh God, don’t you stop.” Jim said, palming down the front of his trousers.
When Spock spoke next his tone suggested he was grinning. Bastard.
“I am in public, Jim.”
“You started it.” Jim breathed and unzipped himself. “I mean it. Keep talking.”
There was a slight groan on the other end.
“Remember what I asked. I want you just like that.”
“Tell me exactly how you want me.” Jim sighed as he gripped himself, trousers pooling his ankles.
”Let’s take this one step at a time. I want you naked, Jim.”
Jim got rid of his shirt and briefs in record time.
“And are you aroused?”
“Trust me Spock.” Jim barked out. “I’m fucking aroused.”
Spock almost whispered. “Jim, are you touching yourself?”
Jim moaned aloud. “Y-yes I’m-”
“Stop touching yourself.”
Jim felt like sobbing. “You’re kidding?!”
”I can’t have you spent before I get there. Now lubricate yourself.”
Jim loved hearing Spock talk like this to him. “Are you going to fuck me?”
There was a soft inhale through the nostrils. “I’m going to bury myself so deep inside of you, you will be incapable of telling the difference between where you end and I begin.”
Jim settled on the bed, shivering violently. “Oh, Spock- you’re really making this no-touching thing difficult, you know?”
“Lube.” Spock stated simply, and Jim obeyed. He splattered some on his fingertips, pressing against the hole gently.
“Be sure to to spread out properly. I would hate for you to be under-prepared.”
Jim slid in finger, moaning and letting in another when he was ready.
“Come on, keep talking to me.”
There was a chuckle. “By the sound of it, I wouldn’t want the show to end early.”
Jim, with two fingers up his ass, managed to scoff. “And you fucking call me arrogant?”
Spock understandably didn’t comment. Instead he said: “Work yourself open.”
And Jesus, Jim was gasping.
“Fuck me, Spock. That mouth of yours... you’re going to kill me one day.”
He increased the speed, pumping in and out with more rigour.
“God, Spock. It isn’t enough! I need you, Spock, I need you inside me. Where are you?”
”I’m on the way, T’hy’la, I’m coming. Believe me, I’m going as fast as I can.”
Jim groaned, removing his fingers. His thighs trembled so the sheen of sweat on his body glistened under the lamp.
“Get here faster, damn it.”
There was a pause for so long on the other end Jim thought it cut off.
“Say that again.”
“Say. It. Again.”
“Like you mean it.” Spock sounded rough.
Jim was shaking. “Faster.”
“Again.” He commanded.
There was sharp intake of breath.
“I hope you’re prepared.” Was all Spock said before the line went dead. Jim tossed the commicator to the side, balling up his hands into fists to keep himself from touching, staring at the door with anticipation for it to open.
Soon enough, the door slid open.
Spock took a quick look around the room, before his sight settled on Jim. He was naked, hard-on angry red and leaking, an expression of tension plastered on him, with his skin shining with his salt sweat. He was sprawled out so wonderfully on the bed that Spock had to take a minute just to look at him and take it in. Absolute perfection. His expression hardened and he locked the door behind him without breaking eye contact.
Spock settled on the bed fully clothed, right over Jim and pressed his lips to him.
Jim damn fully moaned into the kiss, it was so fucking beautiful.
“Fuck, you had me waiting for so long!” Jim cried out when they broke away, as Spock ran a hand down his body.
“I know, I know.” Spock crooned into his neck, where he placed a soft kiss. Jim wrapped his bare legs around Spock’s clothed body and Spock pushed down against him. The feel of fabric against the sensitive skin of his dick had Jim in heaven. Spock knew if he continued Jim would come just like that, between them all on Spock’s uniform; he was so worked up already. So he continued grinding his crotch painfully slow against Jim, till there was a tight press of fingernails in his shoulders and an arch of his back.
Spock pressed his lips against Jim again, less urgently this time.
“Don’t worry. That was only. The first. Time you’ll. Come tonight.” He said to Jim between each slow kiss. “You were so good for me, I couldn’t let you- mm- let you wait that long without release. You wouldn’t have been able to carry on till end of mine.”
Jim shivered. “Good. Because I want you in me.”
Spock bit at Jim’s neck. “And you will recieve.”
Spock broke away, standing to rid himself of his completely ruined uniform. Jim stretched out on the bed, staring with admiration.
”You hide too much of that body, you know.”
”I’m aware. The stares I get from you on the odd occasion it isn’t hidden, is proof of that.”
Once he undressed, Spock joined Jim back on the bed. He kissed down Jim’s torso, all the way to his soft dick. He touched, making Jim shudder violently.
“Jeez, I’m still... still pretty sensitive.”
Spock knew, but he liked touching anyway.
“Approximately how long before you can continue?”
”Uh, about twenty minutes. Fifteen if I get to make you feel good. And ten if I hear you talk.” Jim didn’t add that it was because of the praise he always got.
Spock wasn’t against that. He sat back on his knees, letting Jim flip forward onto his stomach, his feet swinging up off the bed occasionally. Jim took Spock in his mouth and he tilted his head back at the feeling. It was absolute bliss.
Spock curled a hand into his hair. “Ah, Jim.”
Jim hummed with appreciation and Spock let him work his dick thoroughly. Jim flicked and slid his lips over and over with endless precision.
Spock was surprised when Jim suddenly pulled off.
“Is everything alright?”
Jim looked sheepish. A blush tinted his cheeks.
“Yeah... I just remembered, I want to try something.”
Jim got up to his knees, taking a hold of Spock’s hand. When Spock gave him a quizzical eyebrow, Jim took his index and middle finger and slipped them past his lips.
Spock thought he was going to white out. All he managed was a strangled cry, as Jim pushed the hand deeper into his mouth, taking his long fingers like he would his cock.
Jim didn’t understand Vulcan, but he could tell by the blissed out expression on Spock’s face that he was really enjoying the way his erogenous finger pads felt in Jim’s wet mouth. Spock felt Jim curl his rough tongue around the sensitive tips of fingers and his eyelids flickered.
“Surak, Jim, do that again.”
Jim repeated the action and Spock moaned pitifully.
“Oh, Jim. You’re such a good boy, taking my fingers like that.”
He wimpered around Spock’s fingers, making him groan. Jim reached down to touch his own cock, which was now starting to throb back up again with its semi-hardness. He stroked feebly as he sucked on Spock’s fingers, Spock looking at him with eager, eager eyes. His own hard on was flushed green and veiny, straining at the exertion of resisting pinning Jim down and fucking him sensless into the mattress.
Jim pushed his tongue between the two fingers, sliding down the middle of them to flick at the webbed skin at the base.
Spock let out a guttural moan.
“I’m ready Spock.” Jim popped off his hand to speak, hard-on back to it’s impressive length. “Fuck me.”
Spock did not have to be told twice. He pushed Jim to his back, hovering over his ass.
“You didn’t prepare properly, did you?”
“I was distracted.” Jim shrugged.
Spock landed a firm slap on Jim’s ass cheek to exercise a point, relishing at how he jumped and yelped.
“Now you’ll have to wait longer.” Spock said sternly, reaching for the lube and dolloping it on his already saliva coated fingers. Jim groaned with dissatisfaction.
“But I want your dick now.” He whined.
“And it will go back into your mouth if you don’t desist speaking.”
Jim promptly held his tongue. Spock pushed a single digit into his ass, sliding easily due to Jim’s half-assed attempt earlier. He added another digit, feeling the stretch encase both fingers.
Spock had to surpress a shudder. God, that felt good.
He began pistoning them in and out, nearly keeling over himself at the pleasure sucking at his fingers.
“You’re tight.” Spock said low and predatory, in a way that had Jim both shivering and gulping at the same time.
He added a third, impatient now, and Jim cried out a bit, but nodded for Spock to continue.
“I’ve been waiting all day for this,” Spock said, over the slick sounds. “I was stuck behind a desk for nearly 6.6 hours thinking about how perfect your ass is.”
Jim writhed at the words. “Oh God, just fuck me already, Spock!”
”All I could think of was fucking you dry. It was interfering greatly with my efficiency rate.” Spock continued, without stopping his fingers from working Jim.
“Come on, I want you!”
“Surak, look at you. So perfect, so eager, all the time, ready and waiting for me to come and split you open...”
“Do it, Spock! Please...!”
Finally, Spock retracted his hand and lubed up his dick. He positioned himself, lining them up before pressing himself in.
Jim’s back arched off the bed at the pressure. “Fuck, Spock, it’s so good.” He panted.
Spock furrowed his brows in concentraion to keep himself from tearing Jim’s ass apart and rocked gentler than he would usually. Jim was, after all, only human.
”You’re holding back.” Jim said, gripping onto Spock’s shoulders as he leaned over him. “Don’t hold back.”
Spock wanted to drill his ass harder than Jim could imagine. But he also wanted his captain to be mobile tomorrow, and it didn’t look like that would be happening.
He gave an experimental thrust and decided he enjoyed Jim’s reaction to it a lot more than to think about the consequences of his actions, and he continued to push at the same strength each time.
Jim was already a mess. It had barely been fifteen minutes since Spock had been inside Jim and he was already trying to hold off his orgasm. Spock knew Jim was quite the sexual creature too. And people said Vulcans were sexually poor performers? Were they trying to be humorous? Vulcans could go for hours and hours.
Jim pushed down to meet Spock’s thrusts, his ass cheeks slapping hard into Spock’s firm, jagged-cut hips every time. That along with slick sounds of lube, the breathy panting and the occasional moan were downright erotic.
Spock gripped behind Jim’s knees to lift his legs up. He increased his speed, moving with a new-found rhythm. It took seconds for Jim to catch up to speed, moaning encouragement.
“Faster, Spock, faster.”
Spock hissed in a breath at the words, shifting the angle of his hips so he could snap up against Jim’s prostate.
Jim writhed under Spock. “Ah, I’m close!” He lifted his hand so Spock could entwine it with his. Spock was overwhelmed with the several different points of stimulation.
“Do the- do the thing.” Jim panted, and Spock didn’t know what he meant till he lifted two fingers from the grip.
With whatever sanity he could scrape together, Spock touched the spare fingers of his other hand to the points on Jim’s face.
“My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts.”
The effect was immense. Spock felt so whole, so complete. It was like every dark corner of his mind that had been troubling him had been pushed out to be replaced by Jim and only Jim. Everywhere, everything Jim.
Jim had a similar effect, only it was too much for him to handle and he came almost immediately without being touched, painting a strip of hot white up his own torso. Spock was completely blissed out. Jim felt phenomenal - all of him - inside, outside, body, mind, spirit; everything. This is what it felt like, to completely lose oneself. To completely succumb to emotional desire wasn’t always destructive. This is what it truly meant to be Vulcan. To engage, no- indulge in their needs. Here, with Jim - inside Jim - there was no restraint.
“Oh god.” Jim grimaced at the over-stimulation. “I feel everything.”
Spock’s vocal chords were shot. He couldn’t form coherent words other than the occasional curse and the string of ferral moans.
”I feel you, Spock. I really feel you.”
Spock could feel him too.
“You can? It feels so good.”
Spock wanted to come so badly.
“I want it too. Come, Spock. I want you to come.”
Spock was barely hanging on.
“No, no. Don’t hang on. Don’t hold out. Just let go for me.”
Spock let go. The intense orgasm overwhelmed him. He saw stars behind his eyelids that were so beautiful not even the view of space could compete. It almost blew him away, but he could still feel Jim’s hand clinging onto his and it grounded him like an anchor in the vast ocean.
He pressed deep inside Jim, filling his ass with his release.
“Jim.” Spock groaned, toes curling.
They were still connected, so Jim felt Spock’s orgasm too. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he trembled.
“Holy shit.” Jim heaved, gasping. Somehow, he managed to come a second time, shooting another strip up himself as Spock filled his ass. Being Vulcan, Spock poured out close to five times as much as Jim did, and it leaked out of his hole onto the sheets.
When Spock collapsed beside him, Jim was still shaking. He wrapped an arm around his torso from behind, curling into his quivering body.
Jim was already feeling heavy, so it didn’t take much for him to to close his eyes and fall asleep.