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What Remains Of Yang Jeongin

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Great papaw Felix's story was used as a life lesson more than enough times for me growing up, but I feel as though Seungmin's story was more likely to affect me than Felix's. They were both similar, starting out innocent, bright, and fun, but everything going so wrong so quickly. Do you remember reading articles about 'Child celebrities gone wrong?' you should... we talk about it a lot. Seungmin was the perfect example of those articles but this falls more bitter in my mouth than any other celebrity. Not for the reason that we were related, but for the reason that we all knew how kind Seungmin was.

Great uncle Seungmin had the voice of an angel. He had outstanding talent and moved more than enough people multiple times with the sound of his voice alone. Even as he grew more and more popular, more and more skilled at what he did, Seungmin remained humble. At least, that's what Chan said.

But everyone changes, everyone handles pain differently, and it seemed that once Seungmin hit high school and was around a much crueler environment, he lost it. Chan described it as Jisung's fall from the sky and into the ocean, "fast and unexpected." Though, when Chan spoke about it, Seungmin had obviously cut himself off far before he went to that party that one night, but maybe that was just me trying to validate a long downward spiral that someone could have helped stop.

That's never how things work in this family though.

When I was trying to get to Chan's room, I found myself in Seungmin's room, and all the articles, posters of himself, awards, and records were gawking at me. I guess it didn't ever really set in that I was related to the Kim Seungmin until I got there. Though, there on the bed was the same audio player attached to this page. It's from a podcast discussing his murder 50 years later. Even now... Seungmin's death was still a mystery but wasn't all the same

They just never quite found the proof.



"Good morning, everyone. I'm Johnny."

"And I'm Taeyong."

"It is the 5th of March, 2006, and today we're going to discuss something that I've been following for a while. In memory of Kim Seungmin's death over 50 years ago, we're going to be playing a good bit of his music today and talk about the mystery around his murder despite it now being considered a solved case."


No one had really been expecting it. Sure, in the back of their heads they knew his life would be taken by the curse just as the rest of them but they guessed they just never really thought that Kim Seungmin would be affected by it all. They assumed that since he was such a prominent figure in society that he would remain untouched, guarded, safe; but that was an ignorant thought to have considering the curse took anyone it wanted, a social status never is taken into consideration.

Though, it would seem to make more sense that they should have suspected it considering just how downhill he went after he hit the ripe age of 16.


"Oh. I actually don't know too much about this. Enlighten me."

"For those like Taeyong who don't know who Kim Seungmin is, I'm sorry by the way because you're really missing out, he was a child singer from the 1950's and had the voice of an absolute angel. I grew up on his stuff you know, and I literally couldn't fall asleep until my ma put his music on -"


The morning of Seungmin's death felt... off. Seungmin had a pretty good sense of when something was going to go wrong and his stomach was twisting in a way that it hadn't twisted since Jisung's death. It felt like it had just been days before that Jisung had tumbled off the cliff side into the waters below, but it had been almost ten years. Time passed in an odd way when you weren't sober for a good portion of it. Seungmin didn't know when suddenly mornings had turned from peaceful, quiet things too late afternoons filled with nothing but unbearable headaches and dread to face the world ahead.

He guessed there wasn't ever really a starting point, a definitive one at least, and it just kind of crept up on him, has been around even before he was born. Seungmin didn't believe in the family curse, but during his last few months, he was obsessed with the very idea of it all. He asked his dad relentless questions about it when they weren't butting heads every two minutes and that seemed to be the only time they ever really got along anymore. Sure, Chan was concerned as to why Seungmin had been asking so many questions, but he was just glad they weren't screaming at each during the time. He was growing tired of the constant yelling just as Felix and Woojin were too.

The morning of Seungmin's death, he didn't wake up with a hangover and after 2 pm. In fact, he woke up before 7 in the morning due to things flying and knocking against his window. The teenager awoke with a jolt after a particularly loud thump, groaning a bit when he heard two more rocks hit his window. Seungmin managed to lift himself out of bed without tripping or stumbling and waltzed over to the window with a loud, heavy huff. Though, the frustration seemed to ease into that of mild fear mixed with fondness when he saw an all too familiar face stood at the base of the house. Sewoon waved enthusiastically.

Seungmin rolled his eyes, but Sewoon didn't miss the fond smile his lips were harboring as he pried open his window so he could stick his head out. "What are you doing here? It's six in the morning!" Seungmin hissed out just loud enough for Sewoon to hear but not to wake up Woojin in the room down the hall. Sewoon just smiled cheekily up at the younger and Seungmin felt his chest twist at the sight of it.

"You up for some breakfast?"Seungmin couldn't say no.

So, he escaped back into his bedroom to slip on a hoodie, shoes, and his glasses before taming his red hair. Though Sewoon never really cared what Seungmin looked like, he still wanted to look decent if he was going out in public. It took more effort than Seungmin was willing to give that early in the morning, but Seungmin managed to situate himself in the tree that practically wrapped around a good portion of the house and climbed down until he felt Sewoon's hands around his waist to safely pull him down to the ground. The moment Seungmin's feet hit the ground, Sewoon removed his hands and the two shifted to look at one another but never moved to touch. They knew better.

"Why are you staring at me? You woke me up for breakfast so let's go get breakfast!" Seungmin teased with a bright smile, walking away so they could walk towards the main road that left off the island where a familiar motorcycle was parked. "Ah, I missed this baby." Seungmin cooed the moment he saw the vehicle, running his fingers along the handlebars but stopped when a hand landed on top of his. Once tense muscles seemed to melt under the touch of the elder and Seungmin found himself locking eyes with Sewoon to see if he was in the same state. He was, maybe even in a slightly more extreme state. Seungmin's eyes said everything he needed them to when he allowed one of his fingers to loosely hook into Sewoon's belt loops: And I missed you.

They didn't get to see each other that often anymore.


"Wait, seriously, Johnny?"

"Well yeah, have you heard his voice? That kid could have soothed just about anyone to sleep."

*Muffled Laughter*


The familiar sharp clinking of glass against glass occasionally overbearing the low murmur of soft discussions made Seungmin's stomach roll into his next life. It reminded him of the pub he used to perform at, the same one he was performing at that night as well, but it was just a small diner that the two had been coming to since they were around 12. It was just outside of the island, on the coast and far away enough to where Chan wasn't comfortable for them to walk but riding their bikes was perfectly fine as long as they didn't make any pit stops. They hadn't been there in a while but it was obvious the waitresses there recognized them and hadn't forgotten their orders either.

"You got a smoke?" Sewoon tugged out a pack of Seungmin's favorite cheap cigarettes in response. "You know me so well." It came out as a practical purr but was muffled slightly due to the waiting cigarette between his teeth, never once taking his eyes off of Sewoon's face when he was tasked with lighting the orange and white stick. "Thanks, hyung." And then it was quiet. Seungmin wasn't even sure why he looked at the menu anymore, perhaps it was out of entertainment, but he knew it was just a habit now. Seungmin had picked it up when he wanted to avoid certain conversations between him and Sewoon, but there was really nothing to avoid; just something to hide.

Sewoon plucked the menu right out from Seungmin's fingertips, folding the leader bound trifold and placing it on top of his own at the end of the table. "You're really going to read the menu when I haven't seen you in two weeks?" It was a mix of a teasing claim and a call out with a whine hinted underneath, but Seungmin was feeling equal, if not more, playful and retorted with nothing but a wink and a,

"You're life can't be that interesting for a lot to happen within a span of two weeks, hyung."

"Yah!" Sewoon smacked him with the menu, Seungmin squealing out a high pitched giggle. "You're so rude, you brat!" Sewoon hissed and let the menu fall to the table with a loud thump that made Seungmin flinch just a bit. It wasn't even a hard flinch, but Sewoon saw it without any trouble and grabbed Seungmin's hand slowly after looking around in caution. "Sorry." It was obvious Sewoon wanted to say more but the look in Seungmin's eyes told him no and that they couldn't talk about that stuff here. Sewoon slipped his hand off of Seungmin's and fell back into the booth seat with a small, whimper like noise.

They didn't speak for a few minutes but Seungmin hated the silence so immediately jumped into a conversation with the elder, watching with a twist of fondness in his chest when Sewoon's eyes lit up as he began explaining what had happened over the last two weeks. Seungmin was careful not to blow the smoke from the cigarette he was smoking into Sewoon's face but when he saw an all too familiar face staring at him through the window, he coughed erratically on the smoke in his throat which caused it to come out in quick jolts towards Sewoon's face. The teen waved at the smoke to get it to fuck off but he was far more concerned with Seungmin's red face squirmed up into an expression of displeasure as he just wouldn't stop coughing.

"Hey, drink some water." Sewoon urged when Seungmin gasped out for breath, the younger's lips wrapping around the straw to chug down the icy water. "Are you okay?" Sewoon murmured a few moments after Seungmin calmed down and had gasped a few gulps of air. Seungmin didn't answer right away, snapping his gaze outside, but the familiar nightmarish face disappeared into thin air. "Min?"

Seungmin's eyes drifted over towards Sewoons's. "Yeah, Yeah I'm fine."


"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm not trying to be disrespectful. Moving on."

"His family used to describe him as kind, and even being a child singer, he was unbearably humble."


"Seungmin! My boy, it's been so long!" A familiar woman, older and frail physically but not in spirit by any means came out from the back and approached his table. Seungmin offered her a bright smile.

"Hello, Mrs. Choi!" Seungmin greeted her enthusiastically, climbing out of the booth to wrap her up in a gentle, warm hug and receiving a big tighter one in return. "Still alive and kicking it looks like. How old are you again?" Seungmin teased playfully but earned a slap to the back of the head in response.

"Disrespectful boy!" Her attention shifted to Sewoon, a soft scowl laid flat out on her wrinkled face, "I thought you were supposed to keep him in check, hm? And put that cigarette out, you'll butcher your lungs!" Sewoon grunted but put the cigarette out anyway as per his great grandmother's request and offered her a smile.

"Nana, I'd put him in check if he were actually touchable," Sewoon whined out, a blush creeping up on the back of Seungmin's neck at the claim and flushing, even more, when the elder spared him a wink too. Mrs. Choi glanced between them, almost knowingly, but didn't utter a word. "Nana, you should come to Seungmin's gig tonight." Sewoon murmured when she slipped into the booth beside him, draping an arm across her shoulder and knocking their knees together. The woman furrowed her eyebrows for a moment, as if she were racking her brain for her schedule that evening and based on the way she pouted afterward, she wouldn't be free to come.

"I'm sorry, boy, I have meetings tonight with my younger sisters."

"I... I could always sing for you before we leave so you know what's going to happen tonight." Seungmin offered shyly, rosy cheeks and all, but when he met the eyes of the beaming woman in front of him, he relaxed. She practically squealed out 'That would be exquisite!' and Seungmin looked around for a moment. Conveniently, in the corner there were a couple, the older male having a guitar case next to him and Seungmin got up and out of his booth. "Alright okay." Seungmin breathed out and approached the couple with a polite demeanor. "Excuse me?" They looked towards him, "Would you mind if I borrowed your guitar for a moment? It won't be long." Seungmin murmured out shyly and the man handed it over somewhat hesitantly. "Thank you!"

Seungmin propped himself up on one of the stools by the island, and with a few strums of the guitar, his voice came out in a sweet, English melody filled with nothing but honey and the smell of roses.

"You say it's only a paper moon

Sailing over a cardboard sea

But it wouldn't be make believe if you believed in me

Yes, it's only a canvas sky

Hanging over a muslin tree

But it wouldn't be make-believe if you believed in me

Without your love, it's a honky tonk parade

Without your love, it's a melody played in a penny arcade

It's a Barnum & Bailey world

Just as phony as it can be

But it wouldn't be make-believe if you believed in me

You say it's only a paper moon

Sailing over a cardboard sea

But it wouldn't be make believe if you believed in me

Yes, it's only a canvas sky

Hanging over a muslin tree

But it wouldn't be make-believe if you believed in me

Without your love

It's a honky tonk parade

Without your love, it's a melody played in a penny arcade

It's a Barnum & Bailey world

Just as phony as it can be

But it wouldn't be make-believe if you believed in me

But it wouldn't be make-believe, believe if you believed in me"

When Seungmin finished singing and the small number of people in the diner broke out into quiet claps and murmurs of praise, Seungmin flushed and waved everyone off with a shy smile. "Thank you." He murmured to the couple as he attempted to hand the guitar over but the man urged it back towards him insisting he plays something else. Seungmin thought for a moment and nodded with a shy smile. "Are you sure? I'm really not all that good."

"Of course! You should really give yourself more credit kid."


"Is this going to turn out like all the other child star stories?"

"Pretty much. When he reached 16, the scandals of a classic teenager began to drop and Seungmin was caught multiple times with drugs, alcohol, and having sex with... almost everyone he was around."


Eventually, around 9 in the morning or so, Seungmin and Sewoon were allowed to leave with fondness in their hearts and food in their bellies. "Time to head home?" Sewoon murmured, rocking them from side to side playfully as he glanced down at Seungmin with raised eyebrows. Seungmin matched the fond expression nodding his head somewhat sadly but Sewoon snuck a kiss to his cheek. "Don't worry. I'll come sneak you out next week." Sewoon promised, bumping his nose against the younger's temple.

"I'll hold you to that." And then it was quiet, but this time it was comfortable.

They were nearly ready to go, Sewoon just had to start his bike and drive off, but they were stopped by loud, boisterous, and all too familiar voices. "Hey! Where do you think you're going?" The two turned towards their shared group of friends, seeing the four of them approach the other two with mischievous, almost shit-eating grins on their faces. At the front was Lee Seunggi, seemingly ready to fire an insult their way, "We saw you two shit heads from down the street, were you on a date or something?" Seungmin gulped, but remained calm, not even sparing Sewoon a look as he snarled his nose up and shook his head.

Seungmin faked his disgust with his retort, "No!" But winced internally when he felt Sewoon tense up. Sewoon knew they couldn't say anything, not in this day and age and especially to these dick heads right here, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Not very deep down, they often wished it was never like this, to begin with, they wished the line separating friends and something more didn't become so blurry and something so hard to swallow. "We were hanging out, like friends do, hyung." Seungmin snapped, plucking the cigarette out from between his fingers and taking a long drag.

"Ah." He nodded in a dramatic manner, the Cheshire cat-like smile already present on his lips somehow deepening, "Are you coming to the party tonight, Kim?" Seunggi jutted out his bottom lip as if he were begging Seungmin to come but Seungmin already knew his answer.

"Can't. Have a gig tonight."

Sooyoung spoke up from behind Seunggi, leaning against one of the cars beside Sewoon's bike and taking a drag from the cigarette between her cigarettes. She probably smoked the most out of all of them but her voice was still as silky as the fabric Chan sometimes had imported from China. "You still have those? I thought you stopped going after the last scandal?" Her question came out as a hiss, snarky and unforgiving, and Seungmin felt chills go down his spine.

"Yeah, I do still have those." Seungmin snapped back, the girl putting her hands up in surrender.

"All right, all right, child star. Sheesh." A tense silence fell over them.

"Well." Seunggi suddenly broke it, "If your gig ends early and you're not exhausted... you should stop by." The elder winked and Seungmin saw Sewoon tighten his grip on the handlebars out of the corner of his eye.

"I'll think about it. I need to get home."


"Though, anyone whose spoken about him that knew him personally says that he was shielded away from that stuff until Seungmin just became rebellious all on his own."


Seungmin sent Sewoon off with a kiss when they arrived at the bridge, Sewoon insisting that Sewoon walk him the rest of the way but Seungmin didn't want to risk them getting caught. So, Seungmin ventured through the surrounding forest, taking the many paths that all lead straight back home until he reached the back of the house. It took some effort, but Seungmin managed to pull himself up the tree and into his bedroom window, freezing when he saw Chan sitting in the chair with a cup of coffee and newspaper in hand. "Welcome home, Min. You enjoy breakfast with Sewoon?" Seungmin's bottom lip ended up latched between his teeth and facing cruel, cruel abuse.

Chan didn't sound mad per say, but he didn't seem all too happy either, but something told Seungmin it was for a different reason. "Erm... Yeah. How did you know it was Sewoon?" It was a valid question because Seungmin had plenty of friends; It could have been anyone. Chan hummed and took a sip of his coffee.

"He's the only one who would have enough nerve to come and sneak you out after I specifically told him not to come back." Seungmin snorted at that, trying to stifle his giggles because while it may have been true, Sewoon wasn't exactly the biggest risk taker either. "Also, I heard the motorcycle," Chan said it in amusement, but there was obvious disdain to his tone. The same tense silence from so many times before fell amongst the man and his son, and to any other prying eye, like Felix and Woojin who were stood outside the room peering in, it looked as if they were two wolves circling each other and finding the right time to strike. "Sit down, Seungmin." Chan coaxed with that tone of voice that meant that Seungmin couldn't argue.

With a creek of the bed springs, Seungmin curled up in the middle of his mattress with his blankets swarming around him after he slipped off his shoes. At that moment, as he fiddled with the tips of his fingers with his glasses hanging loosely on the tip of his nose, Seungmin looked like a small child, the same boy Chan had raised to be a kind-hearted, and humble person and Chan felt his chest twist painfully. "He's not.... Dad, he's not a bad person." Seungmin trailed off quietly, sucking in a harsh breath like he was waiting for Chan to blow up in his face. Of course, the man never did. "I know you think he was the one that always dragged me to parties and got me into the scandals but he never did. He always took me home and always made sure I was safe until I purposefully didn't want him around."

"He's supposed to protect you even then." Chan huffed out but Seungmin met his father's eyes with a knowing look. "But... If you're so sure... and he really makes you happy... then maybe I can give him another chance." The claim of happiness made Seungmin's stomach twist in discomfort, but other than that, Seungmin felt pleased with himself. "But Seungmin, are you okay? I need you to talk to me if something is wrong."

"Everything's just fine, dad." Seungmin lied through his teeth. Nothing was okay. Nothing would ever be okay as long as she's constantly watching his every move.


"Wait so he was murdered? Not from like drug overdose?"


Seungmin performed that night.

He performed until he was out of breath and his head was spinning. He performed until everything felt right again and Seungmin was tricked into thinking that he was perfectly fine. That was always the upside to singing for the boy. When Seungmin sang for a crowd that enjoyed him, he felt like he was in a dreamy haze, but coming out of it was always the worst part of the night. Having to dive back behind that curtain where Chan, Felix, and Woojin were all probably waiting for him was something that used to be light-hearted and equally as blissful, but is now something he's come to dread. "Hey, kid," Seungmin muttered the moment he walked back into the dressing room and Woojin ran up to him to cling to his legs. "Did you like the performance?"

"Of course, Hyung! Your voice is so smooth and soft! Can you sing me to sleep tonight?" It wasn't an uncommon request, it had just been a while since Woojin had asked for it.

"Of course, Jinnie." Seungmin offered him a bright smile and Woojin was practically bouncing off the walls at that. "Hey, dad..." Seungmin trailed off suddenly when he looked at the clock, Chan raising an eyebrow up, "Sewoon is here..." Felix and Seungmin shared a look, a long look of Felix trying to practically scream 'What the fuck, Seungmin? Are you crazy?' and Seungmin did nothing but offer a 'yes' in return. Chan contemplated for a moment.

"Go get him."

And within the next two seconds, Seungmin was out the door in search of Sewoon which didn't really take that long. The elder was hanging around the bar, awkwardly hovering and dodging the girls trying to talk to him. Sewoon's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree when he finally saw Seungmin approach him. "Hey, come with me. Dad wants to talk to you." And then his smile faded and an expression of panic appeared on his face. Seungmin was quick to grab his cheeks and divert his attention to him and only him. "Don't panic okay? I think I might have fixed the rift between you two." Sure, it made Sewoon feel a little bit better but not by much. Chan was terrifying when he was angry.

"Ah, Sewoon. It's been a while." Chan uttered when Seungmin dragged him back into the dressing room, the leather jacket wearing elder hovering behind the younger awkwardly. Sewoon gulped and nodded.

"Hello, sir." Sewoon bowed, and Seungmin had to kick Felix in the leg when he began to snicker. "I wanted to apologize for my actions a few months back, it was stupid of me to -" Chan cut off the boy's rambling by raising a peaceful hand and an equally as peaceful expression on his face. Sewoon's mouth snapped shut.

"I understand my son can be very... persuasive, but the next time anything like that happens, I expect you to never leave his side." God. Sewoon wished he had actually done what Chan had told him to do. Maybe none of this would have happened in the first place if Sewoon had just stayed with Seungmin.

Chan left the dressing room with Felix and Woojin in tow a few moments after, Seungmin waiting for everyone to be away from the room before locking the door and turning to Sewoon with a suggestive look. Seungmin waltzed right up to him, hooking a hand behind his neck and dragging him down towards his lips so they were moving together heatedly. He had waited two weeks to do this, and now that Sewoon was there, he wasn't going to let him so so easily.

Seungmin guided them over to the sofa, shoving a dazed Sewoon down onto the cushion and straddling his hips only to press their lips together once more. Seungmin practically licked every single crevice he could inside of Sewoon's mouth, panting so heavily they were scared he was going to have a heart attack, but this was the best high Seungmin had had in a very long time. Seungmin pulled away from him roughly for a moment, slipping his hands under his shirt to knead against Sewoon's stomach, "Come get me from the house around eleven tonight. Don't bring the motorcycle, dad will hear you," and then they were kissing again with a lot more fever and a lot more want.


"Nope. The police reports say that he had drugs in his system at the time but it wasn't enough to kill him."


Seungmin needed to forget for a while.

That's why he was here, at this toxic house party with Molly in his veins and Vodka in his stomach dancing against someone he didn't even know. He had absolutely no idea where Sewoon was, but he wasn't actively searching for him either. However, a thought hit him, a familiar face in the crowd, and Seungmin sobered up quickly. It was a quick, but messy escape, useless if you will. Even if Seungmin blended into the crowd as he trailed up the stairs, there were eyes on him and only him that watched his every move.

The bright light of the bathroom temporarily blinded Seungmin but he managed to shut and lock the door behind him and find the top of the toilet lid pretty easily for a drunken, blinded boy. Everything felt like it was spinning, and if Seungmin had to hold his head for a few moments to let the dizziness fade away, that was okay, even if it would cost him later. "Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck." There wasn't a definitive reason as to why Seungmin was cursing, he just was. Maybe it was everything. Maybe it was because Seungmin was finally realizing why he was here in the first place.

He was here to forget everything. He was here to forget his depression. He was here to forget the voices in his head. He was here to forget the drugs and alcohol. He was here to forget the bullshit he had gotten himself into. He was here to forget the massive debt he owed to Yoonah. He was here to forget that he was going to die tonight.

Seungmin didn't have to see the future to know that.


"I'm not sure I want to know what the actual cause was."

"I'll keep it light for the sake of the soft stomachs out there. But when they found him under the bridge near the family home, he showed signs of being strangled, raped by both human and something made of wood, and a bullet wound to the head. They apparently found the gun but the owner of the gun was never found. They just pinned the blame on the supposed lover at the time."

"People are fucked up."


Seungmin could have taken the razor he found in the sink and cut open his skin right there; he could have taken his own life instead of letting somebody else take it. But seungmin didn't do that. He took another hit of coke and left the bathroom in a daze, yelping when someone clasped their hand around his wrist and dragged him into a room. Seungmin felt his body go rigid when he was met with the sight of Seunggi with an animalistic glint in his eyes. Seungmin was about to scream when he heard a click and something cold pressed against his forehead. "Don't go screaming for that annoying ass boyfriend of yours, fag, or I'll shoot."

Seungmin snapped his mouth shut.

"Good... Good." Seunggi lowered the gun and grabbed Seungmin by the collar to throw him towards the bed. Seungmin landed on top of it with a squeak, "Yoonah said I could do whatever I wanted until I got up here, Kim.... So, Let's see what's got Sewoon so smitten for you, hm?" Seungmin didn't want this. He tried to fight it but the moment the gun was pressed against his temple, Seungmin went limp. Tears blurred his eyes from seeing the disgusting face of the monster on top of him, but he could still feel him and Seungmin was met with nothing but extreme pain.

Seungmin wished he didn't have to grow up.


"The family had refused to say anything about the case and are apparently still mourning his death greatly."

"Now I'm just upset, Johnny. But who do you think did it?"

"I'm not sure I have a subject, but I don't think it was Sewoon."

"Why's that?"

"They weren't fighting at the time. If there was something there and they really were together, Sewoon was head over heels for him. That just doesn't seem like something he'd do."


"Seungmin? You in there?" Sewoon's muffled voice brought Seungmin back down to reality, the younger craning his neck to scream out but the gun was pressed more forcefully to his head.

"Don't say a word - Go away, man!" Seunggi called out the last part, and Seungmin felt himself go rigid when Sewoon huffed and walked away, Seungmin letting out a low, guttural whimper of pain when Seunggi began moving again. Seungmin had practically gone numb at this point.

All until the door to the bedroom opened and Yoonah's face with two other guys who looked like they could snap Seungmin in half with their bare hands appeared out of the shadows. Seungmin went limp against the mattress when Seunggi pulled away from him, curling up into a trembling ball. Seungmin flinched when he felt a dainty hand land on his bare shoulder and the fingernails belonging to it dig into the skin there. "Hello, Seungmin. Did you miss me?" Seungmin didn't respond. "If you were going to interfere with my shipments... you could have at least been a little more discreet about it, no?"

A few seconds of silence passed.

"Well... I know how much of a whore you are so I hope these three men will keep you satisfied...."


"Please what, Seungmin?"

"Please don't do this."

"You have to be punished, baby. Hopefully, this teaches you to be good next time."

And then she was gone, and Seungmin was hit with a wave of pain again.

Seungmin didn't want this. He didn't want it. He didn't want it. He didn't want it. He didn't want -

His body reacted before he could think, jolting up to smack Seunggi out of a fit of adrenaline, but the only thing Seungmin heard was a gunshot, Seunggi's fast, panicked curses of "fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!" before a searing pain went through his head and then everything went black.


"Fair... fair. But it's not as if we'll ever find out unless something incriminating shows up."

"It just makes me upset. Bad things always happen to good people."


Highs are all fun and games until you have to sober up.


Great Uncle Sewoon passed away at the age of fifty, right there in Chan's arms after living in the house for a long, long time. But in reality... Chan lost a real son and a figurative son all in the same night.

I envy his strength.

Every time I think about this story, about everything that Seungmin did that we were aware of, it made me sick to my stomach. I don't want this for you. I want you to be safe and happy with who you are and what you are. I don't want you to think you're less than anyone else in this world because you're not.

Maybe if Seungmin knew his worth... none of this would have happened.