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Clueless

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        Well, that’s it. Rob is fucking clueless. A fucking idiot. 

        I ask Laura for a pad and he has no idea why I would need one! After he just asked her!

        I know he’s trans. I know he’s in love with me. 

        And I like him back, but he’d have trouble seeing that even if I made a giant poster spelling out “I LIKE ROB”. 

       So anyway, that’s what’s going on as I work today. I’m sorting records and making mental notes in my head-a narrative in my mind helps me deal with things. It’s like, it’s like-well, it’s fucking confusing sometimes.

       The point is, narrating what I’m doing, what other people are doing, narrating my life helps make it easier. And when I’ve got bad dysphoria I just narrate in third person. I ironically named myself Dick. I think that’s fine. It’s my name, I can do what I want with it. 

       There’s not much else to say at the moment. I think Laura is my best friend. Barry’s out because he’s off taking all of these odd jobs, and Rob, and Rob, he, well, I mean. He’s in love with me. And I like him back.

       And neither of us is brave enough to make the first move.

       Fuck.