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Doves, Diamonds and Demons Dressed-to-the-Nines

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JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE—

You groaned as you sat up, stretching slowly like a cat so your bones could pop into place. Whichever jackass decided to wake you up like this deserve nothing less than a bucket of frigid water filled with ice cubes to the head. And may whatever sovereign beings exist have mercy on that individual's soul, because when you get revenge—and you will—there will be no mercy.

Cold air alone awaited you the moment you pulled off the covers. You knew that. You were just psyching yourself up for it. Yeah, maybe after five more minutes of basking in the blissful heat...

"Get up! [Y/N] get up!"

Slow waves of murderous intent so concentrated they were palpable rolled off of you. You sat up once more, turned slowly to face your assailant, and glared like your eyes were powerwashers which could bore holes through them. Side note: yes, power washers can be used as weapons. It was no joke, okay? That was how your pet frog died.