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The Great Golf Cart Race

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It was a perfect morning in everyone favourite sleepy Oregon town. Dipper and Mabel arrived at the local grocery store in the old Mystery Shack golf cart. “You stay here. I’ll be only a minute” says Dipper. Mabel nods her head as Dipper runs into the store. At that moment Wendy is walking by. “Oh hey Wendy. What are you doing here” says Mabel. “Oh hey Mabel. I was uhh. Okay fine there was no one in the gift shop so I cut work for a sec. Please don’t tell Stan” she says. “No problem. Your secrets safe with me” says Mabel. Wendy smiles.

“So what are you doing here in the golf cart” she asks. “Oh we ran out of milk so Stan sent me and Dipper to get some more. Dipper’s just inside buying it. Also the golf cart was quicker then walking” says Mabel. Wendy laughs. “Yep. I can’t blame you there. That old cart sure is reliable” she replies. It was funny. While non of them were old enough to drive yet, no one ever questioned why they would be driving around in the golf cart. Gravity Falls really did have odd laws. It was a convince to all of them though.

Suddenly the sound of a very powerful engine could be heard. “Hey what’s that” says Mabel. At that moment from around the corner another golf cart appears. It’s the same size as the Mystery cart but it was much newer and looked like it had been modified by some race car team meets rich people. It soon was pretty obvious why it was that way once Mabel got a glimpse of the driver. Pacifica.

She pulled up in front of Mabel. “Oh I’m sorry. This spot is for good looking golf carts only” she says smugly. “Really Pacifica, a golf cart. What did your limo driver quit on you” Mabel fires back with. “No. My parents keep using the limo whenever I need it so they bought me this golf cart so I can get around myself” Pacifica says. “Well I must say it looks pretty cool” says Wendy. Mabel glares at her. “Sorry” Wendy whispers to her.

“Thanks. Its got all the good stuff. A radio, gold rims, leather seating and best of all, its way faster then your old pile of junk golf cart Mabel” Pacifica says. That was the final straw for Mabel. “Oh ya! I bet my golf cart could do circles around yours any day” she screams back. Pacifica looks at her with a serious look. “Oh really, are you trying to say something there Mabel. Like maybe, a race!”

Mabel ponders for a second, then she looks back at Pacifica. “Ya that’s right. A race. You. Me. Tomorrow at the Mystery Shack. We’ll have a race and see for sure who has the best and fastest golf cart in all of Gravity Falls!” “Oh your on Mabel! Lucky for you I don’t mind waiting at the finish line to see you loose” says Pacifica. She then then drives off laughing.

“Well that got rid of her” says Mabel. “Uh Mabel, you do realize you just challenged Pacifica to a race” says Wendy. It then snaps inside of Mabel. “Your right. What was I thinking! Pacifica is gonna mop the floor with me tomorrow!” At that moment Dipper walks out of the store. “I got the milk, oh hey Wendy” he says. The two girls look at him with a surprised expression. “Okay what just happened” he says.

The two explain everything to him. “Okay first of all, a golf cart race, seriously” says Dipper. “Sorry, I was mad at her what did you expect me to do, punch her. She would have sued me right there, I’m sure she has a lawyer trapped in the trunk” says Mabel. “Its okay. Look if we’re going to win this, we gotta get this old thing ready for a race. Now I think I know the perfect person for the job” says Dipper. The three of them then drive back home.

Back at the Mystery Shack, Dipper consults the man himself for help. “So you dudes want me to help you modify the golf cart into a race cart” says Soos. “Uhh ya, something like that. Basically something that can beat Pacifica’s golf cart in a race” says Mabel. “Oh I am so on this dudes, I gotta go get my how to build a race car in less then a day book” Soos says. “You know I think we might just have a chance to win this thing Dipper” Mabel says.

The three get to work. Soos works on the engine, Dipper works on the interior and Mabel makes marry with the paint. The more stickers the better. Meanwhile Wendy is tasked with plotting a good race course for them. Work goes well. That is until Stan arrives. “What the heck are you three doing to my golf cart” he says. “Were turning getting it ready for a race” says Mabel. “Make sure to add racing strips to it. Those always make race cars go faster” says Soos. Stan looks mad, but then an idea pops into his head. “So your having a race right. And where there’s a race, there money” he says as he walks back to the shack. The trio look on at him and soon get back to work.

By that evening, the golf cart modifications are complete. “I gotta hand it to you Mabel, your paint job looks amazing on it” says Dipper. “Thanks. The inside looks great too” Mabel replies. “But you gotta admit, the best part is what Soos has done right” says Dipper. The twins both nod their heads. “Aww thanks dudes. That’s no longer a golf cart, it’s a mean and fast racing golf cart, with strips” says Soos. He was right. Soos had added a bunch of modifications to the engine to make it faster including two turbochargers, 2 extra pistons, a larger fuel tank, lightweight but very grippy tires, and even a spoiler to keep it firm on the ground at high speeds. It was everything like the golf cart was when he, Dipper and Wendy jumped over Stan’s car, but now ten times better and more powerful. The three went back to get some rest. It was gonna be a big day tomorrow for sure.


 

To Be Continued 

Chapter Text

The sun rose the next morning. Race day. Dipper and Soos were up early making final modifications to the golf cart. “It ready dude” says Soos. “Nice job Soos. We might actually win this after all” says Dipper as the two high five each other. “Hey have you seen Mabel” he says.

“Right behind you” she says. The two turn around to see Mabel. She was wearing the most crudely made racing outfit you’d ever see. And of course, she had knitted a checkered flag to it. “I’m ready” she says. “Okay then” says Dipper awkwardly.

Wendy and her friends had come up with a very cool and very hard course for the race. Mabel and Pacifica would start at the front of the Mystery Shack. They would race down the main road into the town and make a right turn at the Gleeful’s house. They then would go straight down towards Greasy’s diner before heading into the centre of town. From there they would race down towards the lake then straight back up before another turn past the Dusk2Dawn. It would be a straight run till a right at the old water tower then a long straight away before turning left underneath the railway bridge over the cliffs. It would be off road then all the way back. The winner would be the first one to cross the finish line located in front of the totem pole by the Mystery Shack.

As race time neared a bunch of tourists appeared. “Step right up folks for a once in a life time opportunity. Watch as two kids put their lives at risk in the ultimate race of the year. Get ready for the Great Golf Cart race, yes that’s what I’m calling this tale” says Stan. The crowd cheers as he walks over to Mabel. “Hey good luck and ignore what I said. Just don’t die cause your parents will kill me then” he says. “Don’t worry Grunkle Stan I’ll be fine” Mabel says.

“Hey where’s Pacifica” says Dipper. “I have no clue. Hey maybe she forgot” says Mabel. “Oh no, I remembered, just thought I’d make a more cooler entrance.” The twins look over to see Pacifica arrive in her golf cart. For the first time Dipper was starting to have minor doubts as he had not yet seen what they were up against.

Along with Pacifica there was another guy sitting in the passenger seat. “Hey Pacifica, who’s your friend over there” says Dipper. “Oh this, this my co-driver Ricky Diablo or Diablo for short. He’s a pro racer” says Pacifica. “I have won 3 Grand Prix’s and I have been the back up driver for multiple teams at Le Mans” he said. “Hey no one said we were allowed co-drivers Pacifica so tell your buddy to get out” says Mabel. “Oh really. I guess you have not read any racing rule books have you. They clearly state that in a race such as ours, there must be a co-driver giving directions at all times” she replies. Mabel looks concerned. “And it looks like you don’t have a co-driver. Oh is that the what I think I hear. I win by default. Wow I guess I did not even need to show up to win. Ha” says Pacifica.

Mabel looks around. She then looks over to Dipper who is eating a popsicle. “Hold up I’ll get a co-driver give me a minute” Mabel says before she runs over to Dipper. “Hey Dipper. Look you heard that as well. I need a co-driver for this thing and well, your good at navigating and stuff so, will you please just be my co-driver” she says. “What come on Mabel. You know I did not even want this to happen. This is yours and Pacifica’s issue. I don’t want to get involved so no” says Dipper. “Oh come on Dipper we’ve come this far, if we work together we might just win this thing” Mabel says. “I was planning on hanging out with Soos and microwaving more hotdogs while we watched the race, not actually be in the race” he says. “Oh please Dipper. I know I’ve been bugging you a lot lately but please, just one more time” Mabel says. Dipper ponders for a second. He looks over to Pacifica waiting, the crowds waiting, Soos and Wendy waiting, and Stan counting his money. He finally looks back at Mabel. “FINE! But if we end up upside down on the side of the road your paying my hospital bill” Dipper says all fired up. “Thanks Dipper. I promise that won’t happen, you know how good of a driver I am” says Mabel. Dipper watches Mabel run off to get ready as he thinks back to when he was chasing Mabel when she was saving Mermando and how she had flipped the golf cart then. “I’m dead” he says to himself.

The two teams get ready for the race. Lining up at the starting line. Soos runs over to Dipper and Mabel. “Good luck dudes and remember to not drive to fast off road, those tires are best on the road” he says. Mabel looks over to Dipper who is still slightly grumpy. “You have everything Dipper” she says. “Yes” says Dipper.

“Map”

“Check”

“Water”

“Check”

“Our wills”

“Check, wait what” he says. “Well I mean you know just in case” says Mabel. “Oh boy I have not lived it all yet you know. At least you’ve had your first kiss already” says Dipper.

Wendy walks up to the starting line. “Alright. This is going to be a one lap race. Listen up drivers, your co-drivers have the maps and will be giving you directions on where to go. No cheating or going off the course you got it.” Everyone nods their heads. “Alright then, the first one to cross the finish line will be the winner and all that glory junk while the loser will, I don’t know loose I guess whatever” says Wendy. She raises the flag.

“Get Ready”, the golf carts jump into life as the engines start up

“3”, The engines start revving up.

“2”, tires start doing burnouts as both teams get ready to go.

“1”, Mabel and Pacifica both ready to take their feet of the brakes as smoke from the tires fly everywhere.

“GO!”

The golf carts spring to life and in a cloud of smoke. Both race off down the main drive way towards the town. Pacifica with here more powerful cart takes the lead. “She’s getting away” yells Mabel. “Wait till the corners then you’ll see what this puppy can do” says Dipper. He was right. As the first turn came up Pacifica began to struggle as her heavier cart took wide turns. Mabel pressed down on the brakes and turned the wheel as her cart drifted with textbook perfect precision. It gave them the lead. Bud Gleeful who was watching on from his window spat out his tea in fear one of the golf carts would barrel into his house.

The twins were in the lead. But not for long. While they were good in cornering, speed was not their best area. Pacifica and Diablo zoomed past them in the straight away. Mabel had her foot pressed firm on the gas. They were going burning through fuel so aggressively, Dipper swore later on he saw flames spit out of the exhaust.

As they neared the corners, once again the tables turned. Pacifica had to slow down at the turn by Greasy’s while Mabel drifted herself back into first place. The process repeated itself with the next leg of the race straight down towards the lake. People in boats watched on as the two golf carts whizzed past. On the dirt areas the mystery cart took back the lead, the off road tires were doing the trick. Even Dipper had begun to perk up. “Soos was right, those tires are really getting the job done” he yelled. “See I told you this would be fun” said Mabel.

As they hit the straight away on pavement, Pacifica took back the lead. Only to lose it in the corners near the Dusk2Dawn. It was so close she nearly crashed through the fence around the abandoned store. The game of cat and mouse repeated as Mabel drifted into the lead again around the water tower. But down the straight away to the cliffs, Pacifica took back the lead. “Ill see you back at the shack Mabel. Oh wait I might just get bored and leave” Pacifica screamed back at as she tore past. Mabel got a glimpse too of a cheeky little sticker Pacifica put on the bumper of her cart. “Eat my dust Mabel” the sticker read.

Angered and fuelled by the sticker, Mabel floored it. It took Dipper aback as well as they zoomed down the straight away. The beast of a creation that they had made sprung into life once again. Dipper could see the rev-counter going up like crazy. He was now worried Mabel might blow the engine.

They reached the turn. Pacifica had gained such a massive lead that her having to slow down for the turn did not damage her lead at all. But of course given off road was not what her golf cart was built for she was now slowing down. Meanwhile the twins were in a golf cart whose natural habitat was off road.  And sure enough they soon caught up and took back the lead. “Hey remember when you said you won’t wait for us Pacifica?  Don’t worry I’ll keep a cup of tea warm for you when we win” screams Mabel as she and Dipper took back the lead and tore past. This time Pacifica caught a glimpse of Mabel’s bumper sticker. “Keep back 3 feet. Unless your Pacifica, then you’re always a mile behind!” Pacifica was now beyond angry.


“Diablo why are we falling behind. And why does Mabel have a better bumper sticker then me” she yells. “Well I don’t know about the sticker but as for falling behind, it could be because of all this extra weight you have I mean did you really need gold seatbelts” he says. “Hey when your rich you can put gold on whatever you want” she says. Diablo just grumbles. “Anyways we’ll never catch them at this rate is there another way we can go” says Pacifica. Diablo looks at the map. “There’s an old dirt road ahead. If we take it we can make it back to the shack before they do but wouldn’t that be cheating” he says. “If you want your paycheck at the end of this to be high then you’ll never say that to me again” Pacifica yells. “Fine but what about,” “What about nothing were taking that road” Pacifica yells.

At the next turn the two of them take the alternate route. Its much smoother then the main route. “You’ve outdone yourself Diablo, we’ll make it to the finish line before those two in no time at this rate” says Pacifica. Despite wanting to say something Diablo keeps quiet. At last Pacifica was being nice to him.

Meanwhile for Dipper and Mabel the going started to get hard. The road was bumpy and they were going down it at speed. “I think you should slow down Mabel. Remember what Soos said about the tires” says Dipper. “Oh don’t worry besides we’ll soon be there” says Mabel. Before Dipper can reply he hears a loud bang. “What was that” says Mabel. Dipper looks behind and it confirms his fear. The rear right tire had burst. “Mabel, we have a flat tire we have to stop and fix it” he says. “What come one were so close it can hold” says Mabel. “Mabel, we have to stop or else we risk blowing the engine. Its basically dragging along that tire right now” says Dipper. Mabel knew what this meant. The race was lost. She slowed down the golf cart till it came to a stop. “Right this won’t take long I promise” says Dipper. He jumps off to go get the spare tire. Mabel worryingly waits, constantly looking behind for the inevitable sight of Pacifica whizzing past and winning. She knew that it did not matter how quickly Dipper could change the tire, the race was over in her mind.


 

To Be Continued 

Chapter Text

As it turned things were not going all that well for Pacifica either. Her “shortcut” was becoming harder and harder to trek. “Diablo you said this route would be better then the main road. You Lied” yelled Pacifica. “I said this would get us to the finish line faster I never said it was better” he replied. Pacifica was about to fire back when the golf cart came to a stop. “Great now what” she yelled. “We’re stuck in mud. Nice driving” Diablo said. “You know when this race is over I am so gonna tell my parents what you did” she says. “Anyways right now get out and push, I’ll drive.” “Why me” Diablo says. “Because I’m the driver and you’re the co-driver, now quit stalling and get pushing or those two may beat us back” Pacifica says. With a sigh, Diablo gets out to push.

Back with Dipper and Mabel, the mood was mixed. “Well I got the tire changed. I just gotta pack up my tools and we can get going” says Dipper. “Don’t worry, take your time. I’m sure Pacifica is already at the shack waiting for us” says Mabel with a frown. “Oh come on Mabel I doubt she got there yet, its only been fifteen minutes” Dipper says. “I’m sorry Dipper” Mabel says. “Sorry for what” he says. “I’m sorry I got you tangled up in all this. I know you did not wanna do this. I guess its my fault we’re gonna loose. I mean I should have gone it slow here from what Soos had said but I drove through like a maniac and now thanks to me, Pacifica is going to win” says Mabel.

Dipper finishes up packing his tools then sits back down next to Mabel. “Hey don’t be like that. Ya I said this was yours and Pacifica’s race but I’m actually glad I got to do this with you” says Dipper. “Really” asks Mabel. “Ya, I mean if I had stayed back at the shack I would have missed out on seeing you drift through those corners there like a pro. Or missed out on all the thrill that we had” Dipper says. Mabel looks up at him. “And don’t worry about Pacifica, win or loose we got to experience something she did not.” “What’s that Dipper” asks Mabel. “We had fun. I mean I’ll admit it, that was the most fun I’ve had in this old golf cart since me, Wendy and Soos jumped Stan’s car.”

“Ya, guess your right Dipper. We had fun. Guess that’s what is most important and all” says Mabel. “And hey, if it makes you feel better, Pacifica has not past by us yet so maybe she had a flat tire too. We might still be able to win this” says Dipper. “Well then what are we waiting for let’s go” says Mabel starting up the golf cart. The two of them race off down the road, now slower to prevent another flat. As they race down the keep a close eye for Pacifica but its like she has vanished.

Just then they hear mumbled yelling coming from behind the tree line. “Is that who I think it is” says Dipper. “Turn over here” he says. Mabel turns the cart down a bumpy and overgrown road as they follow the mumbling. As it gets louder they start to get more and more anxious. They soon pass a clearing and are presented with one of the most bizarre yet most amusing sights ever. Pacifica was sitting on the top of her golf cart covered in mud, Diablo was still pushing it and oh ya, the gold cart itself was still stuck in the mud.

“My oh my what have we here” says Dipper with a smug tone. “Wow Pacifica your golf cart does not seem to like nature or you for that matter” adds Mabel. The two start laughing. “Haha very funny. I fell in the mud so what. I still look better then the both of you combined” she says. “You know Mabel, I was about to ask Pacifica here if she wanted us to winch her out of the mud but I guess she can handle it herself” says Dipper. “Ya your right how about we go and finish this race and not tell anyone about this” says Mabel.

Pacifica finally snaps. “Okay fine you two win. I won’t say your golf cart is better but I’m sorry for whatever you want me to be sorry for. Now can you get me out of here already” she yells. The twins look at each other and agree. They hook up their golf cart to Pacifica’s with a winch and start to tow her out. Both carts are pushed to full power. The mud is incredibly deep but with the combined horsepower of both golf carts, its enough to free Pacifica’s out of the mud.

Once out Pacifica gets a look at the damage. Her golf cart was covered in mud and the gold had lost its shine. “Great, there goes my leather seats. Thanks a lot Diablo. Your route was a disaster” Pacifica says. Diablo does not say a word. “I don’t mean to interrupt your arguing or anything, but the race is still on you know” says Dipper. “Oh it is so on” says Pacifica as she climbs back into her golf cart.

The 4 of them get ready to go. Mabel starts up her cart, it screams to life as normal. But when Pacifica tries to start hers, it struggles. It all ends with a cloud of smoke emitting from the engine. “Oh great what now. Diablo check the engine” she screams. Diablo gets out and opens the hood. Once the cloud of smoke clears he looks over to Pacifica. “The engine is blown. You must have burned it out when getting it out of the mud” he says. “What are you saying my golf cart is broken. Great thanks a lot Diablo. You just cost me the race” Pacifica yells. “What how is this my fault” he fires back. “Well if you did not tell me to go down this road we wouldn’t be in this mess right now” she says. Before Diablo can reply they hear a sarcastic coughing sound.

“I hate to break up your arguing but Pacifica, looks like you’re not going anywhere and, oh my, looks like you might lose the race too” says Dipper. “Ya. But hey our golf cart is working. How about we give you a lift back to the Mystery Shack so at least you can finish the race” adds Mabel. Pacifica looks at the choices she has. She can either stay here, continue arguing with Diablo while they try to fix the golf cart or get a tow back home. Or she can get out of the muddy forest on Dipper and Mabel’s still working golf cart and at least have the dignity of finishing the race. Either way though the outcome would be the same. She would loose.

“Alright fine you two got it okay. Ill go back on your golf cart. At least its better then being here for any longer” Pacifica says. “Alright then, get in the back” says Dipper. “I’m not saying you have the best golf cart by the way, but at least yours is still working. That’s all I’ll admit” Pacifica says. Dipper shrugs his shoulders at that.  

“Hang on. I’m not leaving my golf cart here. Diablo, stay here and fix it up. Meet me back at the Mystery Shack in an hour got it” Pacifica says. Diablo who is getting into the golf cart as well looks at her. “But” he says. “But nothing. If you could fix a destroyed car in less then 4 hours like you said you did at Le Mans, then this should be nothing for you. Now fix it” Pacifica yells. Diablo gets back as he watches the three of them set off to finish the race. Once they are gone he looks back at the golf cart which is smoking up again. “I hate this job” he says as he gets to work.

Back at the Mystery Shack, everyone was waiting for the race to finish. “Where are they” Wendy said. “Oh don’t worry I’m sure those dudes are on the way right now” says Soos. He was right. Soon the sound of an inline 6 echoed in the distance. It became clear who was going to win this race.

Round the next bend the Mystery Cart with Dipper, Mabel and Pacifica appeared. And like she had done at the start, Mabel drifted the golf cart into the finish line. “And the winner uhh, for what it looks like being the only one to finish, is Dipper and Mabel” says Wendy. The crowds cheered. Soos clapped, so did Stan, The Mystery Cart of the Mystery Shack was now the fastest and as agreed by both Mabel and Pacifica, also now the best golf cart in all of Gravity Falls.

“Great job dudes” said Soos running over to hug Dipper and Mabel as they got out. No one even noticed Pacifica get out and walk over to the road where they had just arrived from. Everyone but Mabel. “Excuse me guys” she said. Stan was breaking out a bottle of Apple cider as well.

Mabel walked over to Pacifica. “Hey you okay” she said. “Ya I’m fine. I never thought I’d say this but, that was fun Mabel. And hey, thanks for saving me back there” she said. “Ah no problem. And ya, it was fun. You put up quite a fight too may I add” Mabel said. Pacifica started to laugh. “Ya I guess I did. Hey how was I to know my golf cart would be defeated by mud” she said. The two started laughing. It was small, but the first signs of a possible friendship were beginning to show. But that’s a story for another time.

“Hey Mabel” said Dipper. The two girls turned around. “Were going down to Greasy’s for some celebratory sloppy joes” he said. “On me” said Soos. “Both of us” added Wendy. “You wanna come” Dipper said. “Oh, you bet I’m coming” said Mabel. Before running, she looked back to Pacifica.

“Hey you wanna come with us Pacifica” Mabel asked. She was about to respond when the sound of a horn interrupted her. They looked back to see Diablo pull up with Pacifica’s golf cart. It was covered everywhere in mud and barely running. Pacifica seemed to be turning red as everyone looked on at it surprised.

“Maybe another time Mabel. Right now, I should probably get home and figure out how to explain this to my parents” she said. Mabel watched as she walked over to the golf cart and got on. “Diablo! You couldn’t have given it a wash too” Pacifica screamed. “Just shut up! When we get home, I’m quitting” Diablo said as he started driving. “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME” Pacifica screamed as they drove off.

Everyone could not help but laugh. “Well ready to go” said Mabel as she walked over to the Stanmobile. “Oh not so fast Mabel. We’re taking the golf cart” said Dipper. Everyone looked over to him. “Last one to Greasy’s diner has to eat a bowl of extra spicy chili” he screamed.

“Oh your so on kid” Stan said. He, Wendy and Soos raced over to the Stanmobile while Dipper and Mabel ran to the golf cart. “I’m driving this time” says Dipper. “So I take you like racing now do you” says Mabel. “Oh you bet”. He looked over to Stan Hey guys we’ll save you a burger” he yelled. Mabel could not help but laugh.

The two vehicles started up and sped down the driveway. It looked like Stan was in the lead until the first turn. And in a swarm of déjà vu, Dipper drifted the golf cart back into the lead. Stan, Wendy and Soos watched on as the twins sped off down the road. The race to the diner was now on.

 


 

The End