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Keep Holding My Hand

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“Run away with me?” Sebastian had asked.

They were 19, standing on the edge of a field, a little drunk, and flirting with the idea of being a lot in love.

“Run away with me.” He had said, fingers laced with Blaine’s, pulling him forward, faster and faster. The sun was starting to set, and the air was practically humming with the magical possibility of everything as they reached the wooded end of the field.

They could’ve just stepped into the woods and disappeared amongst the trees.

They could’ve emerged on the other side, different people entirely.

They could’ve stayed and lived forever in a series of happy, breathless moments just like the one they were in.

Blaine had pulled Sebastian to him and kissed him, tasting the sticky sweetness of the rum and coke he had been drinking.

He had smiled and said, “anywhere.”


“We should leave,” Sebastian had said, body curled tight and voice trembling with barely suppressed rage.

They were 21 and huddled on the couch in Sebastian’s parents’ basement.

It was the first time he had brought Blaine home. It was the first time he had brought anyone home. He had known from the start it wasn’t a good idea, but Blaine had pouted and begged and, when that had failed, had bribed him with blowjobs.  

“They’re not that bad.” Blaine had given up on rubbing soothing circles into Sebastian’s knee, a trick that normally worked, and instead just let Sebastian clutch at his hand.

“Fuck them. There’s no reason… they don’t have to be like that. Not to you.”

In their defense, their introduction to Blaine had been walking in on their son very obviously giving him a hand job in their hot tub.

“We’re here for the weekend.” But he had already been starting to stand, eyes sweeping the room for anything that might’ve been unpacked.

“Nope,” Sebastian had said, following his lead. “We’ll find a hotel. Let’s go.”


Run away with me,” Sebastian had sung along to the music that was filling the car.

They were 24, moving across the county, and finally (FINALLY) moving in together.

Let me be your ride out of town,” he had continued to belt.

“You do realize that this is my car?” Blaine had asked, turning the volume down so he could be heard without yelling. “So technically, I’m your ride out of town.”

Sebastian had clucked his tongue in annoyance. “Only because you insisted on shipping my car.”

“Your car,” Blaine had said, but with a grin so wide that Sebastian could see most of his teeth, “wouldn’t have been able to haul a quarter of our things half way up the street.”  

Sebastian had glanced at the road, making sure the stretch up ahead was straight and empty before twisting in his seat and pecking a kiss to the corner of Blaine’s mouth.


“Don’t do this,” Blaine had yelled.

They were 27, always fighting, and on the brink of giving up.

“Don’t,” he had said again, standing between Sebastian and the door.

“Blaine, move.”


“I said move.” Sebastian’s voice had bounced off the walls of the apartment.


Taking a deep breath, Sebastian had gritted his teeth and ground out, “I can’t do this right now. I need to not be here.” I need to not be near you had lingered, unspoken, in the air between them.

“No. We’re going to bed. We can deal with this in the morning. When we both have clearer heads.”


The minute Blaine stepped away, Sebastian had lunged for the door.


“We should go somewhere.” They’re 29, still together, but some days it feels like it’s more out of habit than anything else.

“Hmm.” Blaine doesn’t look up from his Kindle. “We have work.”

“Belize,” Sebastian says, not really listening to him. “Or Hawaii. Somewhere where the weekly high isn’t 25 degrees.”

Their breakfast sits cooling between them, neither of them particularly hungry that morning. Another one of their traditions that carries on despite the fact that it didn’t mean anything anymore.

“That sounds nice.” Blaine takes a sip of his coffee. “I might be able to get some time off at the end of next month.”

“Tomorrow.” Sebastian looks at Blaine intently and it feels like the first time he’s seen him in ages.

“Mmm, maybe.” Blaine returns to his Kindle.

“Anywhere,” Sebastian says, just above a whisper.

The word almost catches Blaine’s attention.