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Gabriel fucks shit up in the empty

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   Mary's gonna go to Sam's room and ask Sam if he's okay. Sam is just going to mutter, "I'm fine." Of course Mary's not gonna believe that bullshit so she asks him again. Sam snaps and says, "No mom! No! There are 30 people in this bunker who depend on me, Cas won't even talk to me, Jack has never been sadder, Dean's missing, and I lost Gabriel!" Mary says, "...Gabriel? Who's he?" Sam yells at Mary to leave, and well she does. BUT JACK overheard everything. Personally I think Jack still has some grace in him. So he doesn't want Sam to be sad and he can only think of one archangel who isn't a dick and can help them: Gabe. So Jack goes to his room and whispers, "Gabriel." His eyes don't glow so he tries harder. "Gabriel!" He tries several times but nothing happens. The last time his eyes glow and he feels like it worked?

   Gabriel then wakes up in the empty with slight panic. His first thought are “Sam.” He's breathing heavily even though angels don't have to breathe. Since Gabriel is technically the angel that wakes up the dead, he sees thousands of his deceased brothers and sisters around him. He screams and backs away. The archangel has never been more confused in his life. He remembers what Cas told him about heaven. It's dying. So he gets out his snazzy kazoo, AKA the horn of Gabriel. He's about to use it when suddenly, Gabe hears a voice with a weird accent scream, "No! You'll wake them UP!" The thing looks exactly like him. "Well, it would be nice to tell me who you are and what is this place.” The archangel crosses his arms. “It is where angels and demons go when they die.The empty. Now, another angel like YOU has shown up. You will go to sleep! You will!” “First of all, THIS BITCH EMPTY! YEEEEET! And second, what angel…?” Gabriel asks, intrigued really. “He was wearing a trenchcoat. Really annoying! Kept talking about the...the Winchesters?” The short archangel starts laughing. “Castiel?! Annoying?! If you thought he was annoying you are going to hate me.” Gabriel grins and BLOWS ON THAT MF KAZOO. HE STARTS PLAYING ALL STAR. ALL THE ANGELS WAKE UP. Except the archangels it never said Gabriel commanded the archangels just angels.

   All of them are confused, and one of them says, "oH MY????!!!! THE ARCHANGEL GABRIEL?????!!!!!" And they all bow down.

   Gabriel tries not to laugh and the cosmic entity is literally about to shoot itself. Then the cosmic entity is like "What have you done yOU DUMB STUPID FUCK???? BITCH????!!!!!! GO TO SLEEP! ALL OF YOU!" “Ah, ah, before they do, you need to see what I can do!” Gabriel starts to do fornite dances. It is really quiet. Everyone watches. “Well of course it looks stupid when I’m the only one doing it!” Gabriel barks. All of the angels look at eachother and shrug. All of them are doing orange justice. The cosmic entity’s eyes are bleeding that’s the ugliest fucking dance ever. The archangel starts playing the fortnite intro on his kazoo. The cosmic entity shrieks this is so bad. “STOP! STOP!”

   Gabriel starts to T-pose around the cosmic entity. All the angels are so confused but they copy Gabriel. They have asserted their dominance.

   The cosmic entity literally starts crying and yeets them back to Earth, Gabriel's world. I can support this theory where Gabriel won't land in the AU world is because when the Entity yeeted Cas to Earth, it wasn't in the same spot where he died so why would Gabriel land there? Losers.

   So Gabriel takes them back to heaven and heaven is saved blah blah blah. Gabriel is so fucking happy with himself he wants to go tell Castiel. He goes to the bunker and Naomi is there, literally about to kill Sam and Cas is all beat up. Naomi is a whore.

   Why would she beat up Cas though? Becauseee Castiel did not bring her Gabriel. So Gabriel's like "nAOMI WHAT'S YOUR BITCH ASS DOING?" And Sam's like nghhhhhhoooohhhmmmyyyyygoooodddddddddd?????????!!!!!!!

   Naomi throws her angel blade across the room and turns around frantically. Woah! Wait???? How'd she get into the bunker??? Well, remember, Asmodicksucker (Asmodeus) burned down all the wardings so yeah. Anyways she throws her blade across the room and bows down to Gabriel. Gabriel rolls his eyes this b i t c h has the AUDACITY TO BOW DOWN-PFFT BITCH. Gabriel tells her heaven is saved and she leaves. Sam's heart is going eEEEEEEWWOOOOOOWWWWWWW.

   Sam and Cas fill Gabriel in on everything and he looks into the camera like in the office he died so Michael wouldn't get through.

   So Sam has an ugly ass beard and Gabriel just b l i n k s and tells him to go shave. Mary's like, "so, uh, you're Gabriel...? THE ARCHANGEL?" And Gabriel BLINKS AGAIN and says "lol yeah." Mary's fucking fascinated wOW.

   So Jack comes in and says, "I brought you back...." And Gabriel says, "I finally had the sweet release of death. Thanks kid." And when everyone leaves it's just Gabe and Cas. Gabriel starts to yell at Cas.

   "Castiel! You said, 'oh always happy to bleed for the Winchesters UwU!' But you haven't taken care of Sam or Jack! Do they not matter to you?! We get it, you miss Dean. Everyone does. Well, me, idk I didn't connect with the guy that well but still! Stop thinking about yourself and Dean! Dean! Dean! DEAN! WE GET IT! DEAN IS MISSING! AND IS WITH MICHAEL OF ALL PEOPLE! But it's okay, we're going to find him Don't worry. Take care of Sam...and Jack. It's an order, seraph." And Castiel is SHOOOOOOKKKKK GABRIEL'S COMMANDING HIM. But he doesn't say anything but right when Gabriel is going to check on Sam, then Jack to have an uncle-nephew talk, Cas whispers, "I'm in love with him, Gabriel. I'm helplessly in love with Dean Winchester." That's the big deancas moment is Cas confessing his love for Dean. Gabriel just sighs and says: "Me too."


   JK LMAOOOOO BITCH STFU SABRIEL AND DESTIEL FOREVER AMAKKAKAAKALAKWKENRN I'M CACKLING DKKDK NO EW I MEANT HE SAYS, “Well congrats, Cassie, you’re officially the last one to know.” Gabriel remarks, and leaves Castiel. After the very inspirational uncle talk with Jack, the archangel goes to Sam’s room.

   After that idk what happens let’s just say some hot gay sex cause I suck at endings LOL