"Alright, Mandy Smith or Elsa Smith?”
“Both” Dean replies, like it was obvious
“Dude, they’re sisters, you can’t take both”
“They’re twins, Sammy. Twins do threesomes all the time!”
Sam frowns before rolling onto his stomach, so he can look at Dean.
They’re laying on Dean’s bed, Sam with his feet hanging off onto the floor, Dean with his back against the headboard. It’s the middle of the day, and while they would usually go see a movie or just hang out outside, their dad asked them to stay inside for the day, without giving them any more information.
“You know that’s not true, right? Twins don’t have sex together”
This time, it’s Dean who frowns, looking confused for several minutes. His mouth pouting in the same cute way as always, and Sam has to hold himself back for not reaching out and let his fingers trace those perfect lips.
“I don’t see why” Dean finally admits, “I mean, if there’s someone else with you, it’s not really incest, is it?”
“What? Of course, it is”
“Nah, I think you’re wrong Sammy boy”
“So, if we have a threesome together, it’s not big deal?”
“Of course, it’s not. But I warn you right now, I won’t do it with another dude”
Dean laughs, making the whole bed shake with him, and Sam wants to join him, he does, but all he can think about is how easy it would be, to have sex with Dean. All he would have to do is to find a girl, and then he would be able to have Dean, finally. Maybe not in the way he wishes he could, with Dean loving him and having eyes only for him, but it still would be something.
“Jerk” He mumbles, rolling on his back again
“What? It’s not like I never saw you around” Dean smiles before putting his mouth next to Sam’s ear “Little Sammy grew up big”
“Shut up!” Sam yells, shoving Dean almost making him fall off the bed
Dean laughs even more, and this time, Sam joins him happily. It’s so good, to be able to laugh with Dean like that, and his heart is jumping for joy. One more reason to leave.
“Ain’t nothing to be ashamed of. We’re brothers, brothers share these kind of things”
“Brothers share their dicks? Jeez Dean, calm down with the incest”
“Ugh, gross Sam. That’s not what I meant!” Dean defends himself, unaware of the pain in Sam’s heart as he says those words. Gross. This is what Dean would think of him if he knew. “I just… You know, we’re gonna be together forever”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, we’re with dad right now, but once you're old enough, we’ll leave. You and me. I already told dad about this and he agreed. We’ll hunt together, and I don’t know, I imagine us staying in motel rooms, going to bars and helping each other to find someone for the night. Just driving with Baby.
I won’t grow old, I don’t think so, but you… damn Sammy, you’ll be so old. You’ll find some quiet place and you’ll keep Baby and think of me once in a while. I just…you know. You and me forever. And maybe-“
“I’m going to Stanford” Sam says, his eyes glue on the ceiling
There’s a painful and heavy silence after that, Sam’s heart breaking a little more as time goes by. He’s not sure Dean is ever gonna answer, but it’s only been a few minutes and the silence from Dean is already killing him. How will he survive, without hearing Dean’s voice for days, weeks, and maybe even years?
“Why?” Dean finally asks, his voice rough and hard, and not for the first time, Sam thinks he’s facing his dad and not his brother. Dean sits up and Sam follows him. They’re back to back for a moment, and while Dean turns himself, Sam doesn’t. He can’t face Dean.
“Because I- the hunting life isn’t for me, Dean. I don’t want to do it, I hate it"
“But we’re your family! You can’t leave us!”
“It’s college, Dean!” Sam says, facing his brother “It’s college, and I want to go, I want to learn things, I want to have a great job and-“
“But what about me, Sam? What about us? We were supposed to fucking live together, to be a team, and you’re leaving me!”
“It’s for the best!” Sam yells back, tears pricking his eyes “Don’t you get it? I can’t stay with you!”
Dean frowns and Sam thinks he’s gonna yell again, but his face is falling apart until all the anger is gone, replaced by pain.
“You’re running away from me” He whispers
“Yes, you are”
“No, please Dean, it’s not your fault” Sam tries to find the right words, tries to make Dean understand that he is the problem. Him with his disgusting feelings, his awful love. But he can’t say that to Dean, not now. They still have two years together, he doesn’t want Dean to hate him already.
“How did you find out?” Dean asks, his voice shaking with tears
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about”
“I won’t do anything. I swear Sam, I won’t touch you, and I- I can stay in a different motel room if you want, I’ll do everything you want, but please don’t leave because of me”
“What are you talking about?” Sam asks, confused. He has no idea what Dean is talking about, and it’s making him crazy. Is Dean in trouble? Has he done something bad?
“I’m talking about the reason why you want to leave!”
“Yeah, and I’m telling you that the reason is me, not you! You haven’t done a single thing Dean!”
“Then why are you leaving?” He yells back, tears running freely down his face now.
He did it. Sam did it. He broke his brother’s heart and now, Dean is left crying on a bed. This is all because of him.
“Because I love you!” He screams “I love you, and I shouldn’t, but I do, and it’s killing me! I can’t stay because I don’t want you to hate me!”
“I could never hate you, Sammy” Dean says, pulling him in his arms.
He shouldn’t let Dean do this. He should fight and leave, but it’s been so long since Dean hugged him, and he needs this. More than anything else, he needs to feel like his brother loves him too, even if it’s for the last time.
“I’m in love with you” He whispers against Dean’s neck where he’s hiding his face “I’m sorry”
Slowly, Dean pulls him away, and Sam thinks this is it, this is the moment where he’s gonna lose the only person he ever cared about.
“Do you mean it?” Dean asks
“Do you mean it? I don’t. . . do you really love me? Like that?”
“I-Yeah. I’m sorry, I swear I-“
He’s cut off by Dean’s lips crashing on his, so violently that their teeth hit. But it doesn’t matter, because Dean is kissing him, right here, right now, and Sam is so caught up in thinking about what's happening that he doesn’t react at first, not until Dean’s hands reach his head, bringing him closer to him.
“I love you, too” Dean whispers, breaking the kiss “I love you so fucking much”
He laughs before kissing Sam again, deeper this time, his tongue entering his mouth and raving it. It’s nothing like any of the kisses Sam's ever had. He doesn’t know if it’s because it's Dean or because of the love, but it’s the best kiss he ever had, and he doesn’t want it to end.
He pushes himself up on his knee until he can slip onto Dean's lap, his hands on either side of his head.
From where he is, he can feel Dean becoming hard under him, and just knowing that he’s the reason for it, that somehow, he’s doing that to his brother, it’s enough to make him get hard too.
They spend the rest of the day kissing and hugging, trying to melt into the other until they can’t be separate anymore. Until no one can tell where one ends, and the other begins. Just two bodies forming one.
“I love you” He says again, for the hundredth time “I love you”
“I love you too, even though you’re a giant sap” He laughs before kissing Sam’s lips again. “Hey Sammy?”
“A threesome together isn’t such a gross idea now, is it?”