Images of crackling flames and raining ash replayed themselves in Keith's mind. His mind was still full of awful, jumbled thoughts. He tried to push the thoughts of his dad choking to death on thick, black smoke, his flesh bubbling under the intense heat, bones breaking as the house crumbled around him. The starry, fresh night around Keith was gone, and his lungs start to clench, trying not to inhale smoke that isn't there. He can practically feel his skin burning. His heart races as he tries to escape the fire that isn't there. The heat from smoldering flames boils the tears waiting to spill over from his eyes. The stars have turned to sparks and there's no air. Keith yells, but no sound comes out. And in the dark night in the middle of nowhere, there isn't anyone to hear him anyways. His eyes overflow, and he waits, in dreadful silence, for it to be over.
This chapter is really short but they get longerrrrr
Whoops Keith got expelled from the Garrison and now his life is pointless
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Keith slammed the door to his home closed and threw himself onto his bed. Why was he like this? He had one job, and he had failed. He'd be expelled from the Garrison and nothing mattered now. Keith had left the Garrison boiling with fury and hold up a middle finger, while the Garrison essentially did the same. He shoved his pillow onto his face and screamed. Fuck the Garrison, fuck everyone there, fuck himself for being such an idiot. He flopped onto his bed, and, for the first time in months, cried. Keith was a loner, an introvert. But this was the loneliest night of his life. He sobbed in sympathy for himself, in hatred for himself, he told himself he'd be better off dead. Finally, exhausted, he slept.
I PROMISE THE CHAPTERS GET LONGER AFTER THISSSS
Life is hard when you pilot a temperamental space lion
Keith's life had changed drastically in an impressively short amount of time, so it was admirable that he hadn't broken down already. Turns out, being a superhero in space who flies a magical lion takes a toll on your mental health. He imagined how the rest of the team felt. They had family back on earth that they must be missing terribly. That made Keith feel guilty. At least there was no one worried about him. He felt the pinpricks of tears in his eyes. Keith felt like he was drowning, drowning in shame, in sorrow, in homesickness for his little house. It wasn't much, but it was his. It felt like everything had been ripped away from him. "Stop..." he whispered to himself. "Please let this stop." He knows it won't stop. He knows that he needs to let the tears pass, to cleanse him. The soft tickle of tears passed down his face and he wiped them off with his arm. He tried to take deep breaths, to calm the awful gasping, crying noises. He pulled his blanket over his head, and slept.
And so, Keith finds himself leaning against his bed again, ready to burst into tears. Because that's what he does. He's a weak dumbass who can't control his emotions. And now the Red Lion apparently likes fire which should be a great thing because that's a pretty useful power but no. Keith can't stand fire. Fire is Keith's worst fear. He can hardly cook, for fear of tripping and plunging his hand into the burning flames, or screwing up and his little house, the only thing he has left, burning to the ground. He's afraid of his flesh melting, his clothes burning, his hair smoking. Keith's fear of fire is worst than fear, worst than a phobia. Fire haunts Keith. And now it's his power. Great. Totally great. This is so fucking great. Keith feels useless. Keith is useless. A useless superhero whose afraid of his own powers. What a failure he is. Hot tears fill Keith's eyes, and yet again, Keith tries to muffle his crying. The rest of the team can't know this. They wouldn't understand, except maybe Shiro. But it's easier, simpler, to just hold it in. Why bother people with your own problems when they have more.
If we're rolling with the idea that Texas died in a fire, it seemed reasonable for Keith to be afraid of it. Plus, it makes good angst ideas
Shiro is gone. Shiro is gone and that means the last person that cared about Keith was gone. Shiro was Keith's everything. Shiro was Keith's reason to go on, his reason to become a pilot, his rock in a sea of emotions. And now he's gone, and Keith is lost. Keith could feel Red's energy in his head, trying to comfort him. Too tired to push Red out, Keith slumped back against the controls in the inside of his lion and cried.
Lance knocked on the door to Keith's bedroom. There was no answer. No noise came from Keith's room, which was strange. Lance had at least been expecting to hear Keith's music escaping from his headphones. Lance tentatively turned the doorknob to Keith's room. No one was there. Confused, Lance decided to check Keith's lion. Keith most likely wanted to be alone, and the best place for that was usually in the training room or with the lions. Lance wondered if Keith would be pissed if Lance found him. Lance hoped not. He needed to talk to someone about Shiro's disappearance, and Keith knew Shiro best.
Red lifted his head as someone came into the hanger. Keith looked up. It was Lance. Keith got up with slight difficulty and started to yell.
"Go away!" He yelled. "Go away, please just go AWAY" his voice cracked and his knees buckled. He lay on the ground at Red's paws, crying. Lance, ignoring Keith's pleas, sat down beside him.
"Keith, I miss him too. More than I can explain. I know you feel it too." Keith didn't reply.
"He loved you Keith. He loved you and he trusted you." Keith looked at Lance with big, tear-filled eyes. He threw his arms around Lance. Lance put his arms around Keith and held him. And together, under the shelter of the red lion, they cried for their mentor and their friend.
"He loved you Keith. And so do I" Lance murmured into Keith's hair. Keith said nothing, but held the other boy's hand tighter.