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Garden of Guilt

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Aizawa’s eyes shot open as there was a loud crash sounding somewhere outside of his door. Groaning he flipped over- those damn kids always make so much noise. Technically it was past curfew, well past for that matter. He could go out and bust whoever was making this much noise with a detention but lacked the energy for said activity. There was again another loud bang, this one much closer. There was a few thuds but it dropped back into dead silence. Aizawa let out a long exhale, finally he could fall back into a long, long sleep. But of course, just as he was falling into the bliss of dreamless sleep there was three uneven loud knocks at his door. Aizawa sat up with a loud groan. Throwing his legs off the bed and checking his clock, 3 o’clock. He slowly made his way to the door. Once he reached the door he opened it, almost throwing it off its hinges.

“There better be a good reason for you waking me up at 3am.” Aizawa deadpans while blinking the blurriness out of his eyes. Todoroki slowly starts to become in focus. Aizawa almost regrets his words, Todoroki would not come to him- no matter the time- unless something was deathly wrong.
“I’m sorry, Aizawa-Sensei.” Todoroki tries to bow but stops mid way down to support himself on the doorway. Concern flashes in Aizawa’s eyes. Todoroki drops to his knees. “Sorry,” he saids quietly dropping his head. Aizawa kneels beside Todoroki placing a hand on his back, but as soon as he does he is met with a harsh flinch. Aizawa’s eyebrows twist in confusion but he removes his hand.
“It’s okay, it seems like you have a reason…” Aizawa looks him over, his breathing is uneven, and his speech was coming out slurred, balance issues- definitely a concussion. “What is wrong, kid?”
“My. My head-” Todoroki gasps out, “everything is spinning..” He said brining the heel of his palm in between his eyebrows.
“Lean up against the wall.” Todoroki slowly removed his hand from his face and pushed himself to the wall. Aizawa stood and closed the door, and when he looked back to Todoroki his head was lolled to the side and his eyes were distant.

Aizawa knelt down again and was about to check Todoroki’s pupils. But Aizawa’s eyes caught sight of Todoroki’s neck.

“Kid, what the hell is that on your neck.” Frightened eyes found Aizawa’s own. Todoroki’s eyes were wide and his face showed more emotion than Aizawa had ever seen. Todoroki brought a
hand up to his hair and nervously tugged on it. Aizawa could hear his breathing pick up.

“I tried to tell him.” Todoroki ripped his eyes off of Aizawa’s. “I tried to tell him and he got so angry… He kept yelling, and yelling and I tried to leave but he wouldn’t let me.”

“Tried to tell him what, Todoroki?”

“That I had to leave, that you would be angry with me. I tried to tell him I was to tired.” With an exhale at the end of his sentence his eyes found Aizawa’s. “But that just made him more angry.” Todoroki’s breaths were coming in short gasps. “H-he said I could be done when I couldn't walk anymore. So when I tried to leave-” Todoroki moves the hand that was holding his hair to his neck, “He grabbed me.”

“Who, Todoroki?” Todoroki looked away.

 

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Anger. Aizawa had never, ever, felt this much anger in his whole damn life. At himself, partly at Todoroki for not telling him sooner, but most importantly at Endeavor. When Aizawa had finally seen the full extent of the damage to Todoroki’s neck- he quickly took him to see recovery girl. Black and purple bruising surrounding a hand shaped burn. How could you do that to your own kid? How could you call yourself a hero after you did that to your kid?

Aizawa was now sitting in Recovery Girls’ office as she worked over Todoroki; her face solemn. She Planted a few kisses to his head after wrapping up his neck. Todoroki had barely made any noise. Like this sort of pain was something he had come used to- and Aizawa had a feeling it might be. After the few kisses Todoroki was given his eyes slowly fluttered shut.

“I couldn't do much else than clear up some of his head injury. He already seemed exhausted... He needs to come back in tomorrow for the burns on his body and neck- see to it that he does.” Aizawa nodded. “His concussion was severe- it wasn't caused from just one hit.” Her sad eyes found Aizawa’s. “This type of trauma requires several rounds of blunt force trauma to the head. Meaning he had to hit something or something had to hit him over, and over again.” She dropped her head, “This is very serious Aizawa.”

“I know.” Aziawa let out a deep sigh. “I would like to have a meeting with Nedzu tomorrow, I would like for you to attend.”

“I think that is a wonderful idea.” She once again brought her eyes up to meet Aizawa’s. “I need you to watch him tonight, make sure he keeps breathing is that alright? I would do it myself but I fear I am too tired.”

“That's no problem.” She gave him a soft smile as she made her way out.

 

Aizawa sat himself down in a chair. Tomorrow, he and Todoroki were going to have a long talk- about everything.

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“Do we have to talk about it?” Todoroki asked softly.

“Yes,” Aizawa answered,

“All of it?” Todoroki dropped his head.

“Start with last night, then we will go from there.”

 

Todoroki took an unsteady breath in as he began his story.

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“Stop! Please!” Shouto said backing away from his father. Endeavor’s face was taught with anger.

“I can stop when I damn please.” He snarled.

“Please. I need to get back.” Shouto said in almost a whisper. He almost couldn’t even hear himself over the pounding of his own heart.

“Why? You think someone cares about you enough to wonder where you have gone?” Endeavor let out a terrifying laugh before his face dropped back to a scowl. “You are worthless. Nobody could ever care for you.” Endevor took another step closer grabbing Shouto’s arm.

 

Here it comes.
He knows it is.

It’s become normal.

It is his normal.

 

“Not even your own mother could stand you.”

“Stop. Do NOT talk about HER! You have no RIGHT to say ANYTHING about her!” Shouto pulls his arm away from his father. “Don’t touch me.”

 

Endeavor blinks.

Shouto had never done this,
What is he doing?

Endeavor laughs.

“You will regret that.”

 

Shouto has never been this scared.

 

The hit came a lot faster than he expected it.

He could see it coming but he was caught off guard somehow. He heard the sinking thud as Endeavors fist collided with his stomach. The force of his blow knocked Shouto back a few steps. Shouto gasps for air. His lungs burned in return almost as if they were denying him air. Another punch just as brutal, hit his jaw. Searing pain kissing the places where his father's fist had met his tired body.

Pain.
Pain.
Pain.

“You are a tool.” Endeavor spat throwing Shouto to the ground. “You are a tool for the Todoroki name.”

 

“Your. Own. Mother. Couldn't. Stand. you.”

A kick punctuated each of his words.

 

The smell of blood,
Tears stinging his eyes,
The throbbing pain,
The far away sound of insults that hurt more than any beating,

Normal.
Average.
Typical.

 

But nothing could ever match the pain of when Endeavor picked Shouto up by the neck.

 

“You are a tool for me to use-” Endeavor slid Shouto up the wall. “-and I shall treat you as such. You will learn to regret your words. Son.”

Endeavor hammered Shouto’s head against the wall. Over. and over. and over again. Everything became increasingly blurry. He clawed his fingers at Endeavor’s hand uselessly. Endeavor’s hands were grasping at Shouto’s throat, leaving him without air. Shouto’s eyes were wide with fear and small ragged gasps were escaping his throat. Shouto let his eyes flutter closed.

 

Pain.
Pain.
Pain.

Fear overtook his hands as he unconsciously used his quirk. Fire fueled by his fear, spread through his fingers.

Burning flesh was a familiar smell.

Endeavour let out a loud yell.

Shouto’s eyes again slowly opened, his father’s blackened arm starting to blister met his sight. He slowly lifted his eyes to his Father's crude ones.
.

“You will regret this.” The hand around his throat closed tighter. “Two can play at that game.”

 

Pain unlike any other cut across his neck. This was a familiar feeling. Just like his eye. The smell of burning flesh again cutting the air.

He tried to scream but was only met with sounds of distant struggling breath.

The tears were now were freely rolling down his cheeks.

Burning
Burning
Burning

He can sense himself drifting away from his body and being taken to a peaceful place one where there are no worries in the world. No Endeavor. No hurt. No pain. (Something here) But then reality came back, and Endeavor dropping his broken toy on the ground. Shouto choked on the air finally let in his lungs. His lungs now rejecting what they had so desperately pleaded for.

“If you weren’t the only successful experiment. You would be dead.” Endeavor made his way towards the training rooms door. “You should be grateful I let your sister live.”

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Todoroki’s breath quickened. Where was Fuyumi? Was she okay? I didn’t stay at the house to make sure she was okay.

Stupid
Stupid
Stupid

 

Something was going to happen to her and it is all your fault.

Guilt
Guilt
Guilt

“Todoroki.” Aizawa’s firm voice breaks him out of his thoughts. He feels the panic creeping into his mind. Poking fun at his stupidity. He has to get out of here. He stands up so fast from the chair in Aziawa’s office knocking it down to the ground. His heart is pounding in his ears in an all too familiar way.

“Todoroki,” Aizawa stands up very slowly “I need you to tell me what is wrong.”

“Fuyumi.” He trips over his own foot. “Shit. I-I just left her.” He flips towards the door

Guilt
Guilt
Guilt

He can’t stand here in front of Aizawa and pretend like he is the hurt one. He deserves this.. Fuyumi did not need this. She was just trying to look out for him. He deserves the punishment his father gave him. He hurt his family. Why is he so goddamn stupid? Shouto’s whole family suffers for him.

Out
Out
Out

He stumbles again towards the door.

“Todoroki! You can’t-”

Something touches his shoulder and from there it’s just instinct.

He Ignites his fist and swings and hits Aizawa square in the jaw.

Just
Like
Him