Haru was distracted when Kazu arrived on the roof, so much so that he didn’t start to sit up until after Kazu sat down beside him, at which point Kazu decided to slide himself behind Haru and tug him back down so Haru’s head rested in his lap.
“What are you doing here?” Haru asked, even as he reached for Kazu’s hand.
In answer, Kazu bent over Haru and gave him a kiss upside-down. “I couldn’t let you go all day without that.” He wouldn’t even try to be subtle. There were three specific words very recently strung between them, and Kazu would take any excuse to make sure Haru was as aware of them as he was.
After a moment Haru asked, “Did I ever tell you I used to have nightmares about falling?” The small frown pulling at the corners of his eyes said they both knew he hadn’t. “I had one last night, but I felt everyone’s hands slowing me down and catching me before I could hit the ground. I felt safe. I was thinking how much has changed lately.”
“Did you fall into my arms?”
“It was a dream! It doesn’t have to make sense.” Haru was so flustered Kazu actually couldn’t tell if he’d guessed right or not. Either way, it was cute.
“Anyway, I don’t know what I would do without you.” Haru looked up at him as he said it, much too serious.
“You can depend on me.”
Haru smiled and Kazu had a perfectly clear memory of the first time he’d seen it, the sweetest smile he knew. Haru’s warmth had started infiltrating all the painful little cracks in his heart from that first smile.
In those first few days, Haru had been his guide and made the world around them bright and welcoming. Kazu had mostly been teasing when he asked to hold hands so they wouldn’t be separated, but he had already wanted to go everywhere with Haru. Even judo was something he loved because it was something they shared. He didn’t care as much as he should about winning, until Haru cheered for him.
When Haru cheered him on he felt invincible. When Haru said he was amazing he felt like he could do almost anything. He could only say words like, “I love you” because Haru gave them to him first.
Haru was Kazu’s safe place. He wanted to come home to Haru’s smile and his hands and his voice. The voice that miraculously reached other people the way it always reached Kazu. The voice that promised he was not alone.
“Depend on me,” Kazu said, because he already knew he depended on Haru more than anything.