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Logical Thinking

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“Ugh,” Hoseok bursts into Yoongi’s studio.

“This is what happens when I keep the studio unlocked,” Yoongi mutters, turning around in his chair.

Namjoon has been sitting in Yoongi’s studio for the past hour, the two of them working on a beat together.

“What’s up?” Yoongi asks as Hoseok closes the door behind himself.

“Just talked to my sister,” Hoseok answers. “I’m disturbed, and I came to share.”

“What happened this time?” Yoongi asks, pulling his headphones off and leaning back. Namjoon does the same, really not feeling like complaining about taking a break.

“It started off the same as always. We talked about family shit,” Hoseok says, sitting down on the floor against Yoongi’s couch. “Then, being the good brother that I am, I asked about her friends, about her social life.”

“And…?” Namjoon urges when Hoseok stops.

Hoseok takes a deep breath, “And apparently, some of her friends are fans of ours.”

He stops again, and they wait.

“And she said, begged almost,” Hoseok continues. “Please, please oppa, stop wearing leather pants.”

“What?” Namjoon laughs.

“Yeah, that was my reaction,” Hoseok says. “But then she explained, she told me that one of those friends, whenever she sees a picture of one of us wearing leather pants, she goes, and I quote: ‘I’d… tap that’, and apparently, my sister has had enough of it.”

Namjoon and Yoongi burst out laughing.

“That is horribly not funny,” Hoseok says. “She said it caught on, and now the rest of her friends are saying that.”

“That’s not bad,” Yoongi says. “How old are her friends? Maybe you could actually get laid.”

“Illegal. Way too illegal,” Hoseok says. “And they’re my sister’s friends.”

Yoongi shrugs, “I fucked one of my brother’s friends.”

“How’d he react to that?” Namjoon asks.

“He doesn’t know,” Yoongi laughs. “I think.”

“She spent like twenty minutes complaining about how one of her friends, her very illegal friends,” Hoseok continues. “Keeps talking about how she wants to have sex, and I quote again, with my ‘fine ass’.”

“You have a great ass,” Yoongi says. “Can’t fault her for noticing.”

“I do have a great ass, but that’s not the point,” Hoseok says. “The point is that I don’t want to know that my sister knows about all of these… sexual activities.”

“Kids know too much too early these days,” Yoongi says, and Hoseok fake-sobs.

“I only found out about sex when I was…” Hoseok makes a face and sighs. “Too young probably.”

“Yup,” Yoongi says.

“I wish I didn’t know,” Hoseok says.

“About sex?” Namjoon asks.

“No!” Hoseok answers. “About my sister knowing about sex.”

There’s a pause.

“God, I miss sex,” Yoongi says, shaking his head. “It’s been so long for me.”

Namjoon and Hoseok laugh.

“I wish that was funny,” Yoongi deadpans, but he’s smiling.

“Pretty sure it’s been longer for me,” Hoseok says, and Namjoon is glad about the sudden lightheartedness. “How long has it been for you?”

“When was the last time we were in LA?” Yoongi asks.

“About a year ago,” Namjoon answers.

“About a year then,” Yoongi says.

“You got laid in LA?” Hoseok asks. “When did you have time to manage that?”

“I didn’t really,” Yoongi answers. “I just called up Nate. Quick hookup, then back to the hotel.”

“I’m so jealous you have Nate,” Hoseok says. “Hookups whenever you want.”

“That’s so not true,” Yoongi says, sounding a little bitter. “It’s only when I’m in LA and we’re both available. Besides, he texted me two weeks ago. Got himself a boyfriend. So, no more hookups.”

“You sound bitter as fuck about it,” Hoseok laughs.

“It was good sex,” Yoongi laughs too. “But I’m happy for him, I really am. I’m just sad about losing his dick.”

Yoongi sighs dramatically.

Namjoon snorts.

“You laugh but I’m not joking,” Yoongi smiles.

“When was the last time you were with a woman?” Hoseok asks.

“Probably a year and a half, a little less,” Yoongi pauses. “Too long,” he sighs. “When was the last time either of you had sex?”

“A little over a year, I think,” Hoseok says. “I miss it so much.”

Yoongi laughs. 

“It’s gotten so much more difficult to get laid,” Hoseok whines, clutching his chest. “And my last time wasn’t even that good.”

“What happened?” Yoongi asks.

“I don’t even know,” Hoseok says. “I went out to a club, drank, danced a bunch. There was this really hot girl. She took me to her car behind the club. And it was so uncomfortable, and I had no idea what she was saying. Like, I don’t even remember what country we were in, I just know I couldn’t understand anything. And she left a bigass hickey on my neck too, probably because she couldn’t understand that I was asking her not to,” Hoseok sighs. “It just… It was not impressive. I don’t regret it, but it wasn’t… up to my usual standard.”

“Since when do you have a standard?” Yoongi laughs. “All your hookups go like that.”

“Not all of them,” Hoseok protests. “Just… most. But they’re usually so much better. Like, there was no space in her fucking car, we could barely move.”

Yoongi cringes.

“When was your last time?” Hoseok asks, turning to Namjoon.

“Longer,” Namjoon answers. “Almost two years now.”

Hoseok hisses.

“Yeah,” Namjoon nods.

“I wanna say it’s all because you’re too worried about being recognized in clubs and all that shit to even try to pick someone up, but let’s be real, it’s kinda your fault,” Yoongi says.

“Probably,” Namjoon answers.

“Wait, wait, why is it his fault?” Hoseok asks.

“Because he doesn’t try as much,” Yoongi answers.

“What?” Hoseok exclaims. “We go out together all the time. Or well, used to, now less, but still, Joonie goes out with us all the time.”

“Yeah, but I’m kind of… not as keen as you are for random hookups,” Namjoon says. “Like, sometimes it’s fine, I get the urge too, but not as much as you, I think.”

“I think it’s because you get less opportunities, and that’s your fault,” Yoongi says. “You make yourself less available than we do.”

“Do I?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah. Picture this: we’re at a bar, yeah?” Yoongi looks at them until they nod. “What happens there is that I usually sit at the bar, Hoseok is dancing, and you’re sitting with me. Now, Seok is all bubbles and laughs, and he dances up to girls and then he’s all grinding and teasing and promises of good, lighthearted sex-“

“Yeah,” Hoseok nods, grinning.

Yoongi shakes his head.

“Then, I have my cliché ‘disinterested leather jacket guy with a whiskey glass’ look which makes people interested enough to come up to me,” Yoongi continues. “And when they do, I’m very straightforward about what I want. They’re not interested – they’re not interested, but if they are, I’m getting laid,” Yoongi shrugs. “You-“ he points at Namjoon, “-are sort of like me in that you don’t come up to people yourself, but, from what I’ve seen, when a girl comes up to you, you go into your philosopher mode and start up a conversation about life with her. So instead of getting laid, you get friendzoned.”

Namjoon cringes, “I can’t even really argue with you.”

Yoongi nods, “Your fault.”

“Maybe girls don’t go with you because they can just tell that you’re really bad in bed,” Hoseok teases.

Namjoon is about to comment, but Yoongi beats him to it.

“Oh, no, he is not,” Yoongi exclaims. “He’s probably better than both of us combined.”

“How would you know?” Namjoon asks, incredulous.

“Oh, do you remember a few years ago, the blonde girl with the black dress and red heels?” Yoongi asks.

“Yeah…” Namjoon says. “’Course I remember her, when we were in Russia.”

“Right, right, exactly,” Yoongi says, then turns to Hoseok. “I think you were out with Jimin and Seokjin at the time. Joon and I were at the hotel bar because we were going stir-crazy in the rooms, like, we took our lyric notebooks and sat at the bar. I think… something like an hour in, this woman comes in. She’s wearing this slim fitted black dress with the kind of neckline that I’ve never seen in my life, badass red stilettos, long wavy blond hair, bright blue eyes, waltzes up to the bar, sits at the edge, and orders herself some cocktail. Gorgeous woman. Even I thought about hitting on her. Joonie was totally oblivious though, didn’t even see her. But then she bought him a drink, and that got his attention.”

Namjoon remembers her well, “I was so intimidated by her.”

“I would be too,” Yoongi nods. “So, she walks up to him, asks ‘do you speak English?’ with this heavy Russian accent, and I’m like, yup, my cue to leave. So, I do. I went back up to my room, and I swear to god, not half an hour later, I hear screaming,” Yoongi pauses. “I. Freaked. Out. Took me like thirty seconds of absolute shock to understand that what I was hearing was coming from Joon and Jin’s room,” Yoongi turns to Namjoon. “Like, what were you even doing to her? Were you right up against the wall connecting our rooms? Was that why it was so loud?”

Namjoon blushes and thinks back momentarily, then nods, “Yeah, we totally were.”

Hoseok whistles lowly, which only makes Namjoon blush harder. He’s not embarrassed, hell no, he’s just not used to talking about these things so explicitly. Though he supposes that if he were to talk to anyone about this, it’d be Yoongi and Hoseok.

“She was loud, like proper loud, and I got secondhand boner and felt really weird about it,” Yoongi says. “And then I started hearing you grunting, and my boner got even weirder. So, I went back out to the bar. Another hour and a half passes, and she limps out of the elevator, sees me, blushes, sits as far away from me as possible, downs a shot of vodka, then turns to me and says in English: ‘your friend’, then does a thumbs up, and orders another shot of vodka.”

Hoseok blinks at Namjoon.

“I felt an inexplicable need to bow down to you and beg you to teach me your ways,” Yoongi says seriously.

“What did you do with her?” Hoseok asks. “What is your secret?”

“There’s no secret,” Namjoon blushes at the praise and shakes his head. “And she was actually really not into it in the beginning.”

“Ooh, do tell,” Hoseok says.

Namjoon opens his mouth then shuts it, considering. When he sees Yoongi leaning forward in his chair with his forearms on his thighs, a curious look on his face, he decides that yeah, why not?

“Okay,” he starts. “When she came up to me at the bar and started talking to me, I was so nervous because she was just so… wow that I didn’t know how to act. I had no idea why she was interested in me, what she wanted from me, who she was, where she was coming from dressed like that. I- I honestly thought she was a prostitute for the first five minutes, and when I realized she wasn’t, I felt really bad about thinking it. But she was so unrealistically pornstar-like, and it took her less than ten minutes to ask me to sleep with her so yeah… I thought she was a prostitute.”

“To be honest,” Yoongi cringes. “After leaving you, I had a moment where I thought that too. Glad she wasn’t.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon agrees. “Anyway, fastforward to the room. I let her in, and she sort of walks around… stares at the room for a minute then turns to me, points at the bed and says: ‘sit down’, so I do. Then she walks up to the bed and turns around, her back facing me and tells me to unzip her dress, so, I do.”

Hoseok whistles again.

“You’re whistling too early,” Namjoon says, and Hoseok and Yoongi laugh. “Fastforward a little more. We’re on the bed, and I’m doing my usual routine of being slow and gentle and kisses and caresses and trying to figure out what she likes and being very careful, and it’s just… not working. She’s not into it, completely unresponsive, not with her body, not verbally. And I was kind of stuck, I did not know what to do, so I stopped everything and asked her.”

“Good man,” Yoongi comments, looking impressed.

Namjoon laughs, “So I ask if she’s okay and if there’s something she wants me to do, and with the most unimpressed voice ever, she says: ‘I’m okay, but I thought you were going to be rough’. Then she pauses because I probably looked a little confused, because no girl has ever told me that, and then she says: ‘just fuck me like a man’, and I started thinking about what the hell does it even mean to ‘do something like a man’-“

“’course you did,” Yoongi snorts.

“-but I understood what she meant,” Namjoon ignores him.

“She just wanted you to let loose, you uptight butthole,” Hoseok laughs.

Yoongi laughs too.

“Yeah, basically,” Namjoon says. “So… yeah.”

“So yeah, what?” Yoongi smirks, makes a ‘go on’ gesture with his hand.

“So… I… fucked her like a man,” Namjoon says.

Hoseok nods, eyebrows up, impressed.

“There’s a hidden little dom in you, isn’t there?” Yoongi chuckles.

“You didn’t exactly explain what you did though,” Hoseok laughs.

“What, you want me to make a list?” Namjoon asks.

Hoseok shrugs, “Why not?”

“You’re just quenching your own thirst by listening to his story,” Yoongi says.

“As if you’re not,” Hoseok shoots back.

“Fair point,” Yoongi nods, turning to Namjoon. “Do continue.”

Namjoon cringes, “I don’t know, I did a lot of things.”

“Ugh,” Hoseok grunts. “You’re boring.”

“No, I have a slight sense of dignity,” Namjoon retorts. “You wouldn’t list all the details of your sex life.”

“Sure I would, watch me,” Hoseok says, and Yoongi laughs.

“He really will,” Yoongi says. “He’s more than happy sharing.”

Hoseok taps his chin with his finger, “Hmm… what’s my favorite thing to do during sex… If I had to choose-“

“You really don’t,” Namjoon cuts in.

“If I had to choose,” Hoseok repeats, ignoring him. “I’d say… I love it when the girl rides me, or like, generally, when a girl takes control, but also when she’s playful at the same time. When you have that combo… you have my heart.”

Yoongi snorts.

“What’s your favorite thing to do?” Hoseok asks Yoongi. “Partly because I’m curious, partly because I want to embarrass Joonie some more.”

“Giving head,” Yoongi states immediately.

“To guys or girls?” Hoseok asks.

“Both,” Yoongi smirks. “I’m fucking good at it.”

Hoseok laughs.

“Hearing you say that just makes me think of your mixtape,” Namjoon comments.

“Tongue technology,” Hoseok singsongs.

“One of your best lines,” Namjoon laughs.

“I was very sincere when I wrote it,” Yoongi nods.

Hoseok laughs again.

“Ugh, I’m gonna miss blowing Nate’s dick,” Yoongi laughs sadly.

Hoseok laughs harder, and Namjoon joins him.

“It was such a huge dick,” Yoongi exclaims.

“Size queen,” Hoseok comments.

“Got a problem with that?” Yoongi stares at him for two seconds, then bursts out laughing too.  

They calm down a few moments later.

“Can I be honest for two seconds?” Hoseok asks.

Namjoon stares at him with wide eyes, “Were you not honest up to this point?!”

“’Course I was,” Hoseok says. “But this is a different kind of honest.”

“Shoot,” Yoongi says, smiling.

“I kinda wanna suck dick,” Hoseok states.

Yoongi and Namjoon are quiet.

“And I don’t know how to do it,” Hoseok adds.

“What is your point there?” Yoongi asks slowly.

“I don’t know, I felt like it was appropriate to share,” Hoseok says.

“Okay…” Yoongi says. “Go get yourself some dick to suck, I’m sure you’ll be great.”

“I don’t have the confidence, hyung. You’re into dicks and vaginas, help me,” Hoseok says.

“How in the world am I supposed to help you?” Yoongi asks.

“How do you do dudes?” Hoseok asks.

“With a lot of enthusiasm and some lube,” Yoongi says.

“Ugh, you don’t get it, okay,” Hoseok says. “That club, where I hooked up with car girl. There was also a guy there, big guy, so many muscles, but like, he was also super cute at the same time. And he was totally all over me, and I had so much fun dancing with him, but then I thought about his dick, and I freaked out and ran away.”

“Maybe you don’t want to suck dick then,” Namjoon says.

“No, I totally do,” Hoseok whines. “I’m just so used to vaginas that thinking about dick scares me.”

“Technically, you’re much more used to dick than vaginas,” Yoongi says.

“Yeah, but my dick is different,” Hoseok says. Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “My dick is like a really close friend. I take care of it, and it takes care of me. We know each other really well at this point, I feel no anxiety when touching it.”

“I’m really happy for you, Seok,” Yoongi sniffs and wipes a fake tear off his cheek. Then he exhales, facial features smoothing out. “Don’t be nervous about it, you learn as you go. You’ll find out the magic of dick-sucking the same way you did with vaginas, I promise.”

Hoseok sighs.

“You didn’t even comment about me saying I potentially like dudes,” Hoseok says.

“Did you think we didn’t know?” Namjoon asks.

Hoseok blinks.

“Dude, you’re a talkative horny drunk,” Yoongi says. “This is not the first time I heard you talking about dick.”

“Remember when you, Jimin and me went out dancing together?” Namjoon asks, and Hoseok nods. “You came up to me, totally wasted, pointed at Jimin and said: ‘If Jimin was a girl, I would have totally sucked her dick’. And I remember that perfectly because I was drunk enough that I spent about half an hour contemplating the logic of that statement.”

That gets a laugh out of both Yoongi and Hoseok.

“Seok-ah, any guy who gets his dick sucked by you will be perfectly happy,” Yoongi says, smiling a little. “You have nothing to worry about.”

“Fine,” Hoseok pouts. “I’ll just be a fake bisexual until the end of time.”

“Fake bisexual?” Yoongi raises his eyebrows.

“Yeah, because I’ll never be brave enough to suck dick,” Hoseok answers.

“I’m afraid I have to inform you that even if you never touch someone else’s dick in your whole life,” Yoongi says, “you’re still a perfectly valid bisexual. Take that as a professional statement.”

Hoseok nods, “I appreciate that, hyung, thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Yoongi answers. “Besides, I, personally, wholeheartedly believe that everyone is at least a little bit bisexual. Even the straightest of all straight boys has someone he’d go a little bit gay for.”

They look at Namjoon.

“Are you looking for confirmation of that statement?” Namjoon asks.

Yoongi shrugs, “Maybe. Do you have someone like that?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it before,” Namjoon answers sincerely. “I guess… I find all of you guys attractive, does that count?”

“I don’t know,” Yoongi says. “Is it an… ‘I’d suck your dick under certain circumstances’ attractive? Or a ‘you’re my best friends’ attractive?”

Namjoon pauses, “Probably the latter.”

“Then whose dick would you suck?” Hoseok demands.

“A little aggressive,” Namjoon comments, inhales. “I don’t know whose dick I’d suck. I’ll let you know if it ever happens.”

“Okay, okay, think about it like this,” Hoseok says. “Whose butt would you… penetrate?”

“A guy’s butt?” Namjoon asks, shaking his head. “Same answer, I don’t know.”

“A guy’s butt…” Hoseok muses. “You’ve never… penetrated a girl’s butt, have you?”

“Why are you saying the word penetrate so weirdly?” Yoongi asks, shaking his head.

“It’s a weird word,” Hoseok answers.

“Yeah,” Namjoon answers. “The Russian girl, for one.”

“’For one’?” Hoseok gasps. “How could you have had anal before me? I’m older than you.”

“I don’t think age is a factor for that,” Namjoon says slowly. “I’ve just gotten…”

“Lucky?” Yoongi finishes, laughing.

“Oh, how unfair the world is,” Hoseok says dramatically. Yoongi laughs. “So much anal but none of it for me.”

“You can get all the butts you want, my dear dongsaeng, guys or girls,” Yoongi says, making a fist and nodding. “You just have to be brave enough to ask for it.”

“Okay, thank you, thy incredible masters of sex,” Hoseok bows his head deeply, making both Yoongi and Namjoon laugh. “Now, let’s stop talking about anal before my dick decides to join the conversation. What song are you working on?”

And that’s where it ends. The three of them work on music for a while, until Hoseok leaves for a meeting with their choreographer, and Namjoon gets out of the studio to bring Yoongi some coffee, then stays outside because that breathe of fresh air reminds him just how suffocating Yoongi’s studio actually is.  

Chapter Text

It’s two weeks before the subject comes up again.

Namjoon is, once again, in Yoongi’s studio, the beat from two weeks ago now turning into a full-blown song. He’s managed to convince Yoongi to turn on the lights this time and set the air conditioner to fan mode so there’s actually some air to breathe.

They’ve just been sitting there, together, for the past two hours, trying and failing to figure out what the hell is wrong with that hook when there’s a knock on the studio door.

Yoongi rolls away from the table and unlocks the door.

Hoseok comes in with an air of determination.

“Oh, you’re already here,” he says, looking at Namjoon. “Good. I have a favor to ask.”

Yoongi rolls back towards the table, and Namjoon takes the headphones off his neck and places them on the desk. Hoseok sits on the edge of Yoongi’s couch.

“Okay,” Hoseok claps his hands together once. “First of all, yes, I’m being serious. Second, please don’t make fun of me. And third, I know it’s weird, consider it before immediately saying no.”

“You’re freaking me out,” Yoongi states calmly.

“Not yet, I’m not,” Hoseok replies, and Yoongi’s eyes widen. “Do you remember what we talked about a few weeks ago in the studio?”

“You’re gonna have to be much more specific,” Namjoon answers.

“When we were talking about all the sex stuff, and I told you I want to suck dick,” Hoseok says.

“Man, I love how blunt you are sometimes,” Yoongi mumbles, shaking his head. “Yes, I remember.”

“Yup,” Namjoon answers.

“So, yesterday I was out,” Hoseok says. “My hair is neutral right now, so I took a risk and went out to a small club that I like. I went because wanted to get hit on by a guy so that I could implement your advice and just-“ Hoseok makes quotation marks with his fingers, “-‘learn as I go’. And I almost did it.”

“Why almost?” Yoongi asks.

“We were in a corner, making out,” Hoseok says.

“Nice,” Namjoon comments.

“And then I- I put my hand… on his bulge,” Hoseok stammers. “And it was really big, and I freaked out.”

“Oh, Seokie,” Yoongi whispers.

Hoseok scrunches up his nose and sighs, “Yeah, I know, I know, it was such a great opportunity, and he was super nice about it, but… yeah, I freaked out.”

“You know you don’t have to force yourself if you’re not ready,” Yoongi says.

“But I want to, and I am ready,” Hoseok insists. “I think I just don’t want to be disappointing. Like, I’m probably gonna be really bad the first time, and I wanna be good.”

“It’s not…” Yoongi says carefully. “That difficult.”

“But that’s you saying it,” Hoseok argues. “You know what you’re doing. How was your first time?”

“I mean I kinda… choked and coughed a bunch my first time,” Yoongi says. “But that’s because I was pushing myself too hard.”

“Trying to impress, right?” Hoseok asks.

“Okay, yeah, I see your point,” Yoongi nods.

“What’s the favor you wanted?” Namjoon asks.

“Right,” Hoseok says. “So, I drank a little bit yesterday, and I got this really good idea. And then I sobered up and the idea was still good, so… here I am.”

“What is it?” Yoongi asks.

Hoseok takes a deep breath, looks at Yoongi pointedly for a few seconds, “Let me suck your dick.”

Yoongi and Namjoon blink at Hoseok.

“What the fuck?” Yoongi says eventually.

Hoseok flails his hands, “Hear me out.”

Yoongi takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, “I’m listening.”

“You’re my best friends-“ Hoseok starts.

“No shit,” Yoongi cuts in.

“And I was thinking yesterday,” Hoseok continues, “about how I’m really afraid to disappoint a stranger. But I wouldn’t be afraid of disappointing you.

Yoongi’s mouth opens, but no noise comes out, and Namjoon snorts. Can’t help it. Then, he full on starts laughing – at Yoongi’s gaping mouth, at Hoseok expectant expression, at the whole situation really.

Yoongi looks at Namjoon incredulously.

“Sorry,” Namjoon says, still laughing. “It’s fucking funny.”

“You’re not the one whose dick he wants to suck,” Yoongi accuses.

“I don’t want to suck your dick,” Hoseok clarifies. “I just think it’s a really clever way of overcoming this fear.”

Yoongi continues to stare at him with an open mouth.

“Okay, while he’s in shock, I’m gonna ask you this,” Namjoon says. Somehow the absurdity of the situation is keeping him from being in the same state as Yoongi. Clearly, Hoseok is joking. “Why do you need me here?”

“Because it’s gonna be weird without you,” Hoseok says. “You’re part of this, I need you here for confidence.”

“Just to watch?” Namjoon asks, laughing.

“Yes,” Hoseok answers. “That and to make the situation less weird for hyung.”

“Yes, exactly,” Yoongi says loudly. “So that instead of just you staring at my dick, Joon will also be staring at my dick.”

“You’re looking at it from the wrong perspective,” Hoseok shakes his head. “If Joonie won’t be here, it’s gonna get real quiet real fast, and that’s gonna make it awkward.”

“Because that’s the only thing that’ll make it awkward,” the sarcasm is crazy in Yoongi’s voice.

“Oh, come on, hyung,” Hoseok whines, getting up from the couch and dropping onto his knees in front of Yoongi, placing his hands on Yoongi’s knees.

“Ah!” Yoongi screams. “Don’t be on your knees in front of me!”

Hoseok sits back on his heels, “You’re the best, best hyung, and you help me with everything, why not this?”

“Because this is fucking weird,” Yoongi answers, sounding exasperated.

“Please,” Hoseok says, pouting and batting his eyelashes.

“I can’t with his face like that,” Yoongi whines, looking at Namjoon.

“I have no idea what to tell you,” Namjoon says, somehow getting less and less convinced that Hoseok is joking.

“Tell him to stop,” Yoongi refuses to look at Hoseok.

Namjoon looks at Hoseok’s pouting face, about to tell him that this is too much, that if this is a joke, he’s taken it too far, but Hoseok just sighs deeply, looking kind of defeated, and Namjoon… Namjoon is confused.

“Wait, you’re being serious,” Namjoon says, and it’s not a question.

“Yeah,” Hoseok’s voice is small.

And now it’s Namjoon’s turn to stare at him with his mouth hanging open.

He controls himself quickly.

“Okay,” Namjoon says carefully. “Let’s not… dismiss this right away,” he looks at Yoongi hesitantly. “Let’s think about this logically.”

Yoongi looks like he’s about to say something, but a few seconds later, he nods. Hoseok falls back to sit on his butt.

“We’re faced with a problem,” Namjoon says. “And that problem is that Hoseok is… nervous about his first time giving head to a guy,” Namjoon nods to himself, accepting the situation for what it is, or trying to. “And here we have… me, someone with no experience and therefore, no way of helping. And we have you,” Namjoon looks at Yoongi. “Someone who claims to be very good at giving head.”

“I am good at giving head,” Yoongi mumbles quietly.

“So. Pros and cons of Hoseok’s first time being with you,” Namjoon continues. “Pros: Hoseok gets to learn in a safe environment with someone he knows and trusts, and you get a blowjob, your first one in this year.”

Yoongi opens his mouth to say something, then his whole face cringes, and he nods, “Yeah, okay, continue. Cons?”

“Cons,” Namjoon says. “It might make things fucking weird between the three of us.”

“It’ll only be weird if we make it weird,” Hoseok counters. “This can be the same as Yoongi teaching me to rap, or me teaching Yoongi to dance.”

“It’s really not the same though,” Yoongi argues quietly.

“It kind of is,” Hoseok insists. “This would be you helping me get better at something I’m insecure about.”

Yoongi exhales weakly.

“If… if this makes you really uncomfortable,” Hoseok says. “Then… it’s okay, I’ll figure out something else,” he smiles a little. “I think I didn’t fully consider just how uncomfortable that might make you, and… I’m sorry about that.”

“Oh, god, don’t apologize,” Yoongi shakes his head.

Everyone’s quiet for a moment.

“I do see where you’re coming from,” Yoongi sighs again, closing his eyes. “So… yeah, okay, I agree, let’s do this.”

Hoseok’s eyes widen.

“Really?” Namjoon asks, genuinely surprised.

“Yeah,” Yoongi says. “I get it. I get why he’s asking. I want him to be confident. I’m capable of helping, and I’m the best hyung in the whole fucking universe, so yeah,” he nods. “Just promise me one fucking thing.”

Hoseok looks at him with raised eyebrows.

“We do not. Make. This. Weird,” Yoongi states. 

Hoseok nods fiercely.

“And actually, one more thing,” Yoongi says. “None of this leaves this studio.”

Hoseok nods again, starting to get back up onto his knees.

“Okay, wait,” Namjoon says hurriedly. They both look at him. “Pros and cons of me being here.”

“Joon-“ Hoseok starts.

“Nope, let me do this,” Namjoon says, and Hoseok nods. “Cons: I see Yoongi’s dick-“

“That’s not a con!” Yoongi cuts him off. “That is your goddamn privilege.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes.

“Cons,” Namjoon repeats. “I will forever know what Yoongi looks like when getting a blowjob, and what Hoseok looks like when giving a blowjob,” he ignores Yoongi’s eyeroll and Hoseok’s blush and continues. “Pros,” Namjoon pauses. “I do see your point about this being weirder if I’m not here and it’s just the two of you.”

“So… you’ll stay?” Hoseok asks, now on his knees again.

“Yes, I’ll stay,” Namjoon decides the consequences aren’t really that bad. “Another con, or rather a potential con that I’d like to share right now. Even though I’m not into men… watching this might totally give me a boner.”

“I think it’ll be quite flattering to both of us if that happens,” Yoongi laughs weakly.

Hoseok eyebrows rise, and he nods.

Namjoon laughs, a little dumbfounded.

He watches as Hoseok shuffles closer to Yoongi on his knees, still not actually believing it’s going to happen.

“Wait,” Yoongi says. Maybe it isn’t going to happen.

“What?” Hoseok asks, confused.

“Who’s in the building right now?” Yoongi gets up.

“It’s crazy late right now,” Hoseok answers. “I didn’t see anybody on my way here.”

Yoongi locks the door to the studio.

“Okay, now we can do this,” he says, sitting back down in front of Hoseok, leaning back into the chair, looking up and parting his legs.

So, it is happening. Okay.

Hoseok shuffles in between Yoongi’s legs and places his palms on Yoongi’s knees.

Yoongi is still looking up at the ceiling, and Namjoon secretly pinches himself just to make sure that he’s not dreaming.

Nothing happens for a while. Hoseok is just looking up at Yoongi with his eyebrows raised, not doing anything, waiting. For what, Namjoon is not sure.

Yoongi takes a deep breath.

“Okay,” Yoongi says, looking back down. He motions with his hand, “Go for it.”

Hoseok opens his mouth then closes it, and Namjoon gets it.

“You’re sitting there leaned back like that, thinking you’re just going to get a blowjob,” Namjoon says, and Yoongi looks at him, confused. “He wants you to guide him, you dumbass.”

“Yah, don’t dumbass me,” Yoongi says, but there’s no anger in his voice. He looks back down at Hoseok. “What do you want me to do here?”

“Umm,” Hoseok takes a breath. “Guide me?”

“Okay,” Yoongi says softly.

Yoongi reaches a hand out and runs his fingers through Hoseok’s hair, and Hoseok’s eyes close. He likes being petted like that, it calms him, always has. Namjoon has the urge to do that to him too. He doesn’t though, he just rolls closer to them with his chair and rests his head on Yoongi’s shoulder.

He’s not sure why he does it, something about the situation seems to make him want to be a little closer to them. And Yoongi doesn’t stop him. He doesn’t react at all, simply continues stroking his fingers through Hoseok’s hair, so Namjoon isn’t worried.

“You know, it’s not that different from going down on a girl when you think about it,” Yoongi says. “At least in terms of what you want to achieve.”

Hoseok opens his eyes and looks up at Yoongi.

“I mean… blowjobs… can be used as foreplay,” Yoongi explains. “Or they can be used to get someone off. Some guys really get off on getting blowjobs, like, it drives them crazy. Others barely react to them, and if you want to get them off with just a blowjob, you really have to work hard for it,” Hoseok nods. “So, I guess the first thing you gotta decide is how far you want to take this.”

Namjoon looks at Yoongi’s side profile, and quite frankly, he’s a little amazed at the switch in Yoongi’s attitude. He looks calm, composed, like he’s accepted the situation and decided to make it as best as he can, probably for Hoseok’s sake. Namjoon wonders if it’s going to continue this way when he actually gets his dick out.

“What are my options?” Hoseok asks.

“Well,” Yoongi says. “It’s either you go all out and continue until I… come. Or just… play a little bit and that’ll be it.”

“And leave you hanging?” Hoseok asks.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind,” Yoongi answers. “I’m not doing this for the orgasm, I’m doing this for you.”

“Then…” Hoseok starts, then stops, thinking. “I guess I’d rather just go for a little bit and…”

“Alright,” Yoongi says, and Hoseok doesn’t have to finish that sentence. “Uhm… start, and I will… guide you.”

Namjoon gets off Yoongi’s shoulder so Yoongi could scoot forward a little bit. He doesn’t go far though, watching right over Yoongi’s shoulder. It’s a good view to have, considering what he’s about to be watching. Even if it’s Hoseok and Yoongi.

Hoseok drags his hands up Yoongi’s thighs to the button on his jeans and undoes it.

“This is happening,” Yoongi states quietly, so quietly it’s almost like he’s talking to himself. “This is happening. This… this is happening.”

“Is repeating that making you feel better?” Namjoon teases, watching Hoseok unzip Yoongi’s jeans.

“I don’t know,” Yoongi answers. “Maybe if I say it enough times it’ll become less weird.”

He lifts his hips up when Hoseok tugs on his jeans.

The jeans and underwear come off all at once and okay, there it is, Yoongi’s penis.

Huh. He shaves. There’s a little hair up top, but it’s like, trimmed. And his balls are… clean. It looks like it would probably be quite… comfortable actually.

“You’re not hard,” Hoseok comments, staring at it.

“Was I supposed to be?!” Yoongi shrieks.

“Weren’t you?” Hoseok asks.

“No,” Yoongi states, gripping the chair’s armrests so hard his knuckles go white. “That’s – that’s your job. You gotta make that happen.”

Hoseok laughs, “You’re just a grandpa.”

Yoongi gasps, “How dare you? My dick works perfectly well.”

Hoseok looks pointedly at said dick, raises his eyebrows, then looks up at Yoongi.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Yoongi complains. “My head is in a weird place, this isn’t the kind of situation that makes me hard. Being freaked out by the whole thing wasn’t exactly great foreplay.”

“What, you wanna make out?” Hoseok asks, grinning.

“No!” Yoongi answers immediately. “Ah! You’re making me feel self-conscious, I wanna cover my dick.”

“It’s a nice-looking dick,” Hoseok stares at it. “You groom.”

“It’s a personal preference,” Yoongi says. “Fuck off.”

“Didn’t say it was a bad thing,” Hoseok says, touching Yoongi’s shaft with the tip of his finger.

“Oh, my god, did you just poke it?” Yoongi asks.

Hoseok shrugs, “It’s all squishy.”

Oh my god,” Yoongi exclaims, looking up at the ceiling. “I regret this, I already regret this.”

“Relax,” Hoseok laughs, wrapping a hand around Yoongi’s soft shaft and tugging a few times. “Not like I’ve never seen a soft dick before.”

Yoongi scrunches up his nose and looks back down.

Hoseok speeds up.

This goes on for about a minute.

“It’s not working,” Yoongi shakes his head.

He looks like he’s trying, that’s the most upsetting thing. It really looks like he’s trying for Hoseok, and it’s not happening.

“Slow down,” Namjoon says, and they both look at him, Hoseok slowing down. “Fucking change tactics, it’s clearly not working,” he turns to Yoongi. “Tell him what you like.”

“But-“ Yoongi protests.

“It’s not a fucking generic blowjob,” Namjoon says. “You’re still a person, you have preferences. Tell him what you like. Communicate.”

Yoongi sighs.

“Just… slow down,” he tells Hoseok. “I can’t concentrate… I don’t know, do something else, anything else. I need to not think about how weird this is.”

“Think about Nate or something,” Namjoon says.

“I don’t wanna think about Nate when Hoseok is jerking me off,” Yoongi says.

Hoseok lets go of Yoongi’s dick, lays it gently on Yoongi’s groin and drags a finger down from the head to the balls.

Yoongi hisses suddenly, making them both look at him.

“Gave me goosebumps,” he says, shaking himself.

“You like having your balls played with?” Namjoon asks.

“Why does it sound so weird when you say it?” Yoongi asks.

“Because it is weird,” Namjoon says. “You didn’t answer the question.”

“Yeah… I like it,” he says, a little tired sounding. “Why do you think it’s waxed down there? It gives people more incentive to get at my balls.”

“You wax?” Namjoon stares at him with wide eyes. “Doesn’t that fucking hurt?”

“Fuck yeah, it hurts,” Yoongi answers. “But it’s worth it.”

Hoseok touches Yoongi’s balls, gently rolling them between his fingers.

“You haven’t had sex in a year though,” Namjoon says. “Don’t you need to wax every like, two, three weeks? You’re not exactly waxing for somebody else.”

“Yup,” Yoongi answers, leaning his head back. “That’s where the personal preference part comes in.”

He doesn’t look like he hates what’s happening anymore, which Namjoon is really glad about.

Hoseok continues tugging Yoongi’s balls in one hand, bringing the other one back up to his shaft.

It’s strangely fascinating, watching Yoongi breathing in and out steadily, his cock slowly but surely filling up. 

“How does this make you feel?” Yoongi turns to Namjoon.

“I don’t know,” Namjoon answers. “It’s interesting.”

“How so?” Yoongi asks.

“Never been so close to another guy’s dick before,” Namjoon shrugs. “Looks different.”

“Obviously it looks different,” Yoongi says. “But I’m sure you’ve seen plenty in porn.”

“No, I didn’t just mean that your dick looks different than mine,” Namjoon says. “The whole thing is different. The process. Like… I don’t have particularly sensitive balls, so I wouldn’t react to this the same way you are.”

“Hmm,” is all Yoongi says, sighing softly, his eyes closing, head falling back.

Namjoon sees Hoseok smiling just a little bit at Yoongi’s reaction. He looks up at Namjoon then, and his smile widens.

“Fully hard yet?” Hoseok asks.

“Almost,” Yoongi answers. “You can start.”

“Cool,” Hoseok says. “Umm…”

Yoongi opens his eyes.

“Just do whatever you want,” Yoongi says, smiling a little. “I’ll tell you if I don’t like it, or if I want something specific.”

Hoseok nods, holds the base of Yoongi’s shaft with one hand and places the other on Yoongi’s thigh.

Namjoon can see him hesitate when he leans down, sees him pause momentarily. It seems that Yoongi sees it too because he brings a hand down to Hoseok’s hair and gently runs his fingers through it again.

When Hoseok licks the head of Yoongi’s cock, Yoongi exhales softly. Hoseok’s eyes don’t leave Yoongi’s face, catching every reaction. It’s probably because he’s still nervous, no matter what he says.

“Lick it from the base to the tip, feel the length,” Yoongi says, and Hoseok does it, still watching Yoongi.

“Good?” Hoseok asks quietly.

Yoongi nods, “Try to enjoy it. If you’re not enjoying it, it’s not worth it.”

Hoseok drags his tongue from the base to the tip again, nodding as he does.

“Circle the head with your tongue,” Yoongi says, and again, Hoseok does as he says.

“Salty,” Hoseok comments.

Yoongi chuckles, then laughs, actually laughs, “Yeah.”

Then he immediately hisses when Hoseok wraps his lips around the tip of his cock.

Generally, Yoongi’s quite relaxed about the whole thing. The shock has probably worn off by now, acceptance settling in. He’s leaned back into his seat, fingers carefully brushing through Hoseok’s hair, breathing softly, eyelids open but drooping.

Hoseok’s lips drag down Yoongi’s shaft slowly, going maybe a third of the way down then pulling back up.

“Eye contact is… on point,” Yoongi says, looking away from Hoseok momentarily.

Hoseok pulls off and giggles breathily, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Yoongi smiles. “It’s just very intense. How are you feeling so far?”

“Good,” Hoseok answers. “It’s not scary with you.”

“I’m glad,” Yoongi says. “You can try taking a bit more now.”

Hoseok bends back down, Yoongi’s cock disappearing between his lips. He does take more this time, about half.

Yoongi’s hand suddenly twitches in Hoseok’s hair, “Careful with the teeth there.”

His grip relaxes in Hoseok’s hair again, and Hoseok bobs his head up and down, seems to be determined again.

Namjoon watches them and thinks that there is no way this is actually happening. He pinches himself again, doesn’t wake up.

“Good,” Yoongi exhales. “That’s good. Use your tongue too.”

A minuscule pause in movement, and Hoseok takes just a little less the next time his head goes down.

“I know it’s more difficult with the tongue,” Yoongi says. “But it feels a lot better.”

Yoongi’s other hand, the one on the armrest, twitches, then curls into a weak fist.

“You seem to like it,” Namjoon comments.

“He’s not bad,” Yoongi says.

“Are you one of those guys who go crazy over blowjobs?” Namjoon repeats Yoongi’s words from earlier, trying to fill the silence.

Yoongi laughs breathily, “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?” Namjoon asks.

“I mean, I don’t get blowjobs very often,” Yoongi says. “I prefer giving them over receiving them.”

“When was the last time you got a blowjob?” Namjoon asks.

“A couple years maybe,” Yoongi answers.

Hoseok stops, lips still stretched around Yoongi’s length, wide eyes looking up at him.

“Seriously?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah,” Yoongi says. “Keep going,” he tells Hoseok, who resumes sucking him off.

“Why?” Namjoon asks.

Yoongi shrugs, “Not my favorite thing to do. If my partner wants to pay more attention to me, I’d rather go right to penetrative,” he says, then smiles. “Though, admittedly, I do really like getting rimmed.”

“Do you prefer topping or bottoming?” Namjoon asks. “Or is that inappropriate to ask?”

“I don’t think anything is inappropriate right now,” Yoongi says. “Oh, that’s good, that’s good, do that.”

From Namjoon’s point of view, it looks like Hoseok is doing the exact same thing as before. Maybe he’d doing something with his tongue again. Namjoon weirdly wishes he knew.

“To answer your question,” Yoongi says. “I don’t think I have a preference. I always top when I’m with girls, obviously, and I love that. But with guys, even though I top sometimes, I usually bottom. It’s kinda like balancing out the amount of topping and bottoming that I do.”

“The last girl I slept with offered to finger me,” Namjoon tells them.

Yoongi’s eyes widen, and so do Hoseok’s.

“She was blowing me, and like, touching my balls, then touching right behind them, then going lower and lower,” Namjoon says. “And it was weird, and she asked if she could finger me.”

“Did she?” Yoongi asks.

“A little,” Namjoon answers.

Hoseok pulls off Yoongi. His lips are red, glistening.

“My jaw is starting to hurt,” he says, rubbing at his jaw with one hand, the other wrapping around Yoongi’s cock, jerking him off slowly, probably to keep him hard.

“Welcome to blowjobs,” Yoongi says.

“And I kinda want to hear this,” Hoseok says, looking at Namjoon.

“Not much to hear,” Namjoon says. “I was weirded out by the whole idea for the first two seconds, and then I realized there was no reason to be that weirded out. So, I told her that I’ve never done anything like that before, and she said she’d go easy on me.”

Hoseok and Yoongi continue looking at him with curious eyes.

“She used one finger,” Namjoon says, remembering the moment, having his legs spread for her. It really was strange.

“Never met a girl like that,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon notices his cheeks are a little pink. “Like, in principle, I know that some girls are into that, but I’ve never… That could be so interesting.”

“Was it good?” Hoseok asks.

“Not particularly,” Namjoon answers. “It just felt strange. I don’t think I was in the right headspace to really get into it. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t find my prostate.”

“You would have known if she had,” Yoongi says.

“I’ve never tried fingering myself,” Hoseok says, flicking his wrist on an upstroke.

“Don’t do that,” Yoongi says hurriedly, smiles, blushes. “It gets me off too good.”

Hoseok laughs breathily, an amused smile on his face. He continues stroking Yoongi, not flicking his wrist anymore.

“What does fingering feel like?” Hoseok asks, looking at Yoongi. “Like, when you do find the prostate.”

“Crazy,” Yoongi answers. “I came three times the first time I fingered myself.”

“Three?” Hoseok asks, eyebrows shooting up.

“I was like, seventeen at the time, I couldn’t stop coming,” Yoongi laughs. “The only reason I stopped was because my wrist started hurting too much from being bent at that angle.”

All three of them laugh at that.

“Ah, it’s fucking warm here,” Yoongi says, fanning himself. His cheeks are getting pinker.

Namjoon and Hoseok laugh harder.

“That’s not funny,” Yoongi says, laughing.

“I wanna try deepthroating,” Hoseok says.

“Oh, fuck,” Yoongi says, head rolling back. “You really don’t have to do that, it’s not as easy as it looks.”

“Just a little,” Hoseok says.

“Okay, okay,” Yoongi says. “But go slowly, don’t hurt yourself.”

Hoseok bends back down, stares at Yoongi’s now flushed cock for a second, gives a little lick to the head then wraps his lips around it. His lips drag lower and lower, right up to the middle of Yoongi’s cock and stop. He holds there for a second, then pulls back up.

“How the fuck do you do it?” Hoseok asks.

Yoongi smiles wide, “You need to open up your throat, like, loosen it.”

“How do you do that?” Hoseok asks.

“Get down there, to the point you can’t take anymore,” Yoongi says, still smiling. His breathing is getting heavier. “Then imagine you’re swallowing a pill. Like, when you have to forcefully open up your throat to let something pass through.”

“Okay,” Hoseok says, but he really doesn’t sound sure.

He takes Yoongi’s cock in his mouth again, pausing at the halfway point. Yoongi’s eyes squeeze shut as Hoseok goes just a little bit lower, then pulls back up right away, gasping.

“Wow,” Hoseok says, eyes wide.

His hand falls down between his own legs, and Namjoon notices, for the first time, the bulge in pushing against Hoseok’s sweatpants. And something about that, that of all things, Namjoon finds incredibly arousing. Something about knowing they’re both getting off on each other. Something about both of them enjoying it so much makes warmth wash over Namjoon’s body.

He notices Hoseok taking Yoongi back into his mouth, but he can’t stop staring at Hoseok’s hand, the hand that’s wrapping around his own cock through his sweatpants, giving himself a quick tug. It’s probably to alleviate some of the pressure. He’s probably feeling neglected, giving and giving and getting nothing back.

When Namjoon hears a gagging sound, he looks back up.

Yoongi’s grip is tight on Hoseok’s hair.

“Why did you pull me back up?” Hoseok asks, breathing hard.

“Because you were fucking choking,” Yoongi says, breathing hard too.

“I did the pill thing,” Hoseok says. “Why the fuck did I choke?”

“Because deepthroating cock is not the same as swallowing a pill,” Yoongi answers, gulping. “You have to keep your throat open, keep it from contracting. And you need to breathe, like breathe steadily.”

“Imma try again,” Hoseok nods.

“Oh, god,” Yoongi whispers when Hoseok takes him in again, but when Namjoon looks at Yoongi’s face, he realizes that Yoongi is not looking at Hoseok, he’s looking at Namjoon, at the obvious bulge pushing at Namjoon’s sweats. And honestly, Namjoon is not fully sure when that happened.

Hoseok gags again, pulls off from Yoongi’s cock, coughs a little, then looks at where Yoongi is looking.

“Wow,” he exclaims, rubbing his own cock again.

“That’s…” Yoongi starts, gulps again. “Not small.”

Namjoon blushes, fights the urge to cover himself, knows it’d be a little silly to do that considering the situation.

“You’re like… as big as that guy in the club,” Hoseok says. “Holy fuck, that’s terrifying.”

“Terrifying?” Namjoon asks, eyebrows creasing.

“I’ve seen you naked before,” Yoongi says. “It was not that big.”

“It… grows,” Namjoon says.

“If I can’t deepthroat you…” Hoseok looks puzzled. “How the hell would I do it to that kind of thing?”

“Practice makes perfect,” Yoongi whispers.

Hoseok hums, nods and swallows Yoongi’s cock again.

Yoongi gasps, bites his lower lip, his hand twisting in Hoseok’s hair and pulling him off when he gags again.

“Stop fucking choking yourself,” Yoongi says.

“I’m not doing it on purpose,” Hoseok argues. “It’s impossible.”

“It’s perfectly possible,” Yoongi says, panting. “I’m not even that big.”

“It’s not possible,” Hoseok could do that. “People with normal, human gag reflexes can’t do that.”

“Sure, they can,” Yoongi says. “You train your gag reflex.”

“You wouldn’t be able to deepthroat him,” Hoseok says, and Namjoon realizes Hoseok’s talking about him, but he’s too busy looking at Hoseok’s bulge again.

“Yeah, I would,” Yoongi argues. “Where are you even looking?”

And it takes Namjoon a second to understand that Yoongi is talking to him.

Yoongi leans to the side and sees what Namjoon is looking at.

“You’re hard?” he asks Hoseok.

“Obviously,” Hoseok.

“You’re jerking off,” Yoongi accuses.

“Am I not allowed to?” Hoseok asks.

“I don’t fucking know,” Yoongi answers.

“Stop watching me jerk off,” Hoseok says.

“Ooh, you’re allowed to deepthroat me,” Yoongi accuses. “But I can’t look at you jerking off to deepthroating me?”

“I’m not deepthroating you,” Hoseok argues. “It’s impossible.”

“We’re back to that?” Yoongi’s eyebrows shoot up. “Of course it’s possible.”

“No, it’s not!” Hoseok says.

“Yes, it is!” Yoongi shoots back. “Why are you even arguing about that?! I know better!”

“No, you claim to know better,” Hoseok argues. “I don’t know that you can actually do it.”

Yoongi gapes at him, “You’re provoking me. Why are you provoking me? What is the purpose? And why is it fucking working? Get up!”

“What?” Hoseok asks.

“I said, get up,” Yoongi commands.

Hoseok and Yoongi both stand up, Yoongi grabs Hoseok’s shoulders and turns them around. Namjoon doesn’t know what the fuck is happening.

“Sit down,” Yoongi orders.

Hoseok sits down, “What are you doing?”

“Don’t fucking ask questions,” Yoongi says, dropping onto his knees.

“What the fuck?” Hoseok shrieks. Namjoon gapes at Yoongi.

“Shut up,” Yoongi points at Hoseok, then he points at Namjoon. “You too, shut up,” he says, and Namjoon shuts his mouth. Yoongi points at Hoseok again, “Pull out your dick.”

“What? Why?” Hoseok asks, but he does as Yoongi tells him anyway, shoving his sweats and underwear down, and there’s Hoseok’s cock, the second hard cock Namjoon has ever been this close to.

Yoongi spits in his hand, wraps it around Hoseok’s shaft and strokes, making Hoseok gasp and grip the armrests of the chair.

“You… fucking…” Yoongi mumbles, then he looks up at Hoseok. “You have five seconds to say something if you don’t want me to suck you off.”

Hoseok opens his mouth and shuts it immediately.

Namjoon isn’t sure five seconds passed before Yoongi’s lips are sliding down Hoseok’s shaft.

Hoseok gasps and moans, his hand shooting up to cover his own mouth.

“Oh, my god,” he mumbles into his own hand when Yoongi goes down and doesn’t stop going down until his nose is buried in Hoseok’s groin.

Namjoon watches as Yoongi pulls up and off smoothly, like it’s the easiest thing in the world, and it’s attractive, it’s so attractive that Namjoon itches to wrap his hand around himself and stroke.

“Aha,” Yoongi says at Hoseok’s wide-eyed expression. “Possible.”

And then he’s sinking back down.

It’s actually amazing to see him work, eyes closed, confident, one hand digging into Hoseok’s thigh, the other one wrapping around his own shaft between his legs. He doesn’t even look embarrassed to be jerking himself off to this, like he’s completely given in, and Namjoon really wants to do the same.

“Oh, fuck,” Hoseok whispers, removing his hand from his mouth and grabbing Namjoon’s forearm. He looks dazed, his eyes unfocused, grip tight on Namjoon. “You’re so good.”

Yoongi pulls off again and looks at Namjoon.

“Why aren’t you jerking off?” he asks, looking at Namjoon’s bulge. “You’re clearly enjoying this, so why aren’t you jerking off?”

“Should I be?” Namjoon asks, realizing his own breathing is a little more erratic now.

“At this point,” Yoongi says, giving his own cock a few long tugs. “I don’t fucking care.”

And Namjoon isn’t sure why he should care either, they’ve clearly gone beyond weird, they’re both getting off. Why shouldn’t he do it too?

So, with that thought in mind, he uses his one free hand and quickly pulls down his pants and underwear, just enough to free his cock and wrap his palm around it. And the relief… the relief is so good, Namjoon actually grunts.

He realizes, when he starts jerking himself off, that both Yoongi and Hoseok are looking at him. Somehow though, it doesn’t put him off, it just makes him harder, more aroused, makes him speed up.

And then Yoongi’s going back down, mouth wrapping around the head of Hoseok’s cock, pausing there, doing something that makes Hoseok’s eyes roll back, then sliding lower, taking Hoseok all the way in. Hoseok looks like he’s losing his mind, his mouth hanging open, panting, his fingers digging hard into Namjoon’s forearm, eyes darting from Yoongi to Namjoon and back again. And Namjoon isn’t even sure why he’s so into this, only that he is.

He’s warm all over, can’t take his eyes off what Yoongi is doing, can’t seem to disconnect from the fact that Yoongi chose to do this, that Yoongi wants to do this, that he’s getting off on it, that Hoseok is getting off on Yoongi.

Hoseok moans again, “Stop,” he whispers, then louder, “Stop, stop.”

Yoongi pulls off, “What?”

“I’m gonna come,” Hoseok states.

Yoongi looks up at Hoseok, back down at Hoseok’s cock, then up again, clearly considering. His hand is still slowly sliding up and down his own shaft, the tip shining with precome.

“Then come,” Yoongi says quietly, and when Hoseok looks at him, Yoongi nods. “Just… just, yeah, do that.”

He takes the tip of Hoseok’s cock into his mouth, his hand coming up to wrap around the base of Hoseok’s shaft. He strokes Hoseok quickly, eyes open, looking up at his face.

“Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck” Hoseok mumbles not thirty seconds later.

A moment later, Yoongi’s eyes close, hand slowing down.

“Oh, my fuck,” Hoseok exclaims. “Did you swallow?”

Yoongi gets off him, breathing hard, nodding slowly with his mouth hanging open. He looks at Namjoon then, looks at Namjoon's cock, his eyebrows creasing, unsure.

Namjoon considers too, sees what Yoongi is contemplating doing. And just the idea of Yoongi wanting to suck him off makes Namjoon’s cock twitch in his hand.

He lets go of himself, his mind clouded, says, “Only if you want to.”

Yoongi looks at him with squinted eyes, almost accusing.

“Do you want me to?” he asks.

They stare at each other for a few moments.

“Oh, my god,” Hoseok says, still panting, and they both turn to look at him. “Stop being weird about this and just do it.”

Before Namjoon so much as thinks, Yoongi is shuffling closer, pulling Namjoon’s sweats and underwear lower down his legs and bracing his palms on Namjoon’s thighs.

“Ah, fuck,” Yoongi exhales. He brings his hand up hesitantly, and Namjoon nods as a form of permission for Yoongi to wrap a hand around his shaft.

Yoongi looks a little dazed too, now that Namjoon thinks about it, reaching down and stroking himself again. He’s probably been on the edge for a while now. It almost makes Namjoon feel bad. But he doesn’t have time for that, not when Yoongi is leaning forward to lick his cock, from the bottom to the very tip, tongue dragging around the crown then sinking low.

He doesn’t take the whole thing, going about halfway, making Namjoon moan lowly. Namjoon keeps his hands braced on the armrests of his chair, keeps them there no matter how much he wants to grab Yoongi’s hair and push him down. He doesn’t need to do that though. Yoongi is pushing himself, lower and lower with every bob of his head, and Namjoon can literally feel Yoongi’s throat opening up and contracting around him.

It’s insane. This whole thing is insane. But it’s happening, and fuck, it feels so good.

When Namjoon feels Yoongi’s nose pressing into his groin, he throws his head back and swears. It takes every bit of self-control he has to not move his hips, to let Yoongi keep control, to not choke him.

“Holy fuck,” Hoseok says. “That’s amazing. You’re amazing. How the fuck are you doing that?”

Yoongi pulls back a little and lowers again, all the way. He does it over and over again, going slowly and steadily, making it look so easy. His eyes open and rise to meet Namjoon’s, and that makes Namjoon feel out of breath. Yoongi’s eyes are watering, lips red and spit-slick around him. He looks debauched, absolutely stunning.

He slowly pulls off Namjoon’s cock, then brings both of his hands up, wrapping them, one above the other, around Namjoon’s length. He swirls his tongue around the tip, then flicks it over the slit a few times, and god, it’s so attractive it makes Namjoon’s head spin.

“How close are you?” Yoongi asks, and his voice is low and raspy.

“Not there just yet,” Namjoon answers. He wants to tangle his fingers in Yoongi’s hair and push him back down, he really does.

Yoongi twists both his fists on Namjoon’s length, and warmth spreads over Namjoon’s body. It feels good, so good, it really does. But Namjoon doesn’t know if it’s enough to get him off. Yoongi’s staring at him, and it feels like his eyes are boring into his soul. He feels analyzed, like Yoongi is trying to read him.

“You’re holding back on me,” Yoongi states.

He lets go of Namjoon’s cock and grabs both of Namjoon’s wrists, lifts them and brings Namjoon’s hands up to his hair, still looking up. Namjoon gently threads his fingers into Yoongi’s hair, holding it lightly.

“Fuck my mouth,” Yoongi says, lowering himself over Namjoon’s cock again, bracing his hands on Namjoon’s knees.

“What?” Namjoon asks. The thought is stupidly appealing, making his dick twitch under Yoongi, but he’s not sure, doesn’t want to hurt Yoongi, never wants to hurt Yoongi.

“Don’t hold back on me,” Yoongi says, bold but relaxed. “I can take it.”

“Are you sure?” Namjoon asks.

“Yes. I’ll pinch your thigh if you go too hard,” Yoongi answers, taking the tip of Namjoon’s cock into his mouth.

Namjoon is so hesitant when he starts lifting his hips, sliding into Yoongi’s mouth. Yoongi’s eyes close, he breathes deeply through his nose, and Namjoon picks up the pace a little.

He can feel the moment his cock pushes down into Yoongi’s throat, warm and tight. Although he still holds back, going slowly, only to be sure he doesn’t hurt Yoongi. He doesn’t think Yoongi can tell he’s holding back until Yoongi looks up and rolls his eyes, slapping Namjoon’s thigh.

It’s almost funny to see. And going by the way Hoseok laughs, he also finds Yoongi’s attitude amusing. Somehow, that eases Namjoon’s nerves, makes him roll his hips a little more boldly. And then more boldly when Yoongi closes his eyes again.

Heat is spreading down Namjoon’s body, so much so that he can feel sweat gathering on his brow. His fingers tighten in Yoongi’s hair, and he pulls – once. Yoongi grunts, throat constricting momentarily, inhaling sharply through his nose. He doesn’t pinch Namjoon though, so Namjoon keeps his grip tight.

The last straw for Namjoon is Yoongi’s hand coming down to stroke himself again, moaning around his cock, getting off on blowing him, enjoying it. Namjoon can’t hold back anymore, doesn’t want to. So, he grabs Yoongi’s hair tighter and lets go, fucks into Yoongi’s throat fast, without thinking, without worrying, finally figuring out that Yoongi likes having his throat used like that.

Namjoon can’t stop himself from grunting, moaning, swearing. Yoongi is taking it so well, so well, and Namjoon is getting so close.

“Now I’m close,” Namjoon chokes out, keeps thrusting. “Do you wanna pull off or…?”

Yoongi looks up at him.

“Pinch me if you want to pull off before I…” Namjoon trails off.

Namjoon keeps fucking into Yoongi’s mouth, getting closer and closer, and Yoongi is not pinching him, not stopping him.

“Oh, damn,” Hoseok pants. He’s really close to Namjoon, voice loud in Namjoon’s ear. “He’s gonna swallow for you too? God, that’s… so dirty,” Hoseok shakes his head. “So hot, fuck.”

It takes Namjoon off guard, the moment he finally orgasms, making his fingers spasm hard in Yoongi’s hair. Yoongi pulls back just slightly, throat closing around Namjoon, swallowing a few times, a stray drop of white sliding down the corner of his lips.

Yoongi’s panting when he pulls off, eyebrows creasing, wetness in his eyes and on his chin, his hand tugging hard on his own cock.

“Oh fuck,” Yoongi sound almost in pain, bowing his head and wiping his chin with his unoccupied hand. “Fuck, I’m gonna make a mess,” he whines, head falling back. “I don’t wanna make a fucking mess in my studio.”

“I could-“ Hoseok starts, and Yoongi looks at him. “-swallow it?”

“You sound very sure of yourself,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon isn’t sure how he’s capable of sarcasm right now.

“You did it to us,” Hoseok says, nodding frantically. “I feel like it’s fair.”

Yoongi whines again, squeezing the base of his cock, and Hoseok drops to his knees.

“Go on,” Hoseok tells Yoongi, slapping his forearm. “Get up.”

Yoongi grunts, braces both hands on Namjoon’s thighs and pushes himself to his legs. He sways, his pants still around his ankles, then grabs onto Hoseok’s shoulders.

“Stick your tongue out,” Yoongi says.

Hoseok does what Yoongi says, looking up.

Yoongi wraps one hand around himself, guides the tip of his cock to Hoseok’s tongue and jerks off, fast and hard, moaning unabashedly.

It’s fucking hot, and Namjoon has a feeling he’d be getting hard all over again if he didn’t feel so spent.

It takes Yoongi about thirty seconds of frantic tugging before he’s coming into Hoseok’s mouth, coating his tongue in white, looking down at Hoseok and moaning.

“Come on, close your mouth,” Yoongi chokes out. He grips Hoseok’s chin with his hand. “Close it.”

Namjoon watches as Hoseok brings his lips together, watches his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows, then opens his mouth again, tongue clear.

“Fuck,” Yoongi exclaims weakly. “That’s… yeah.”

His eyes close, and he sways again.

Namjoon quickly tugs his own pants and underwear back up, then places a hand on Yoongi’s back, steadying him. He pulls up Yoongi’s underwear, leaving Yoongi’s jeans around his ankles, and when Yoongi’s head drops forward, Namjoon pulls him onto his lap.

Yoongi doesn’t even try to stop him, simply dropping his weight onto Namjoon, forehead falling onto Namjoon’s shoulder, breathing hard. Namjoon wraps an arm around his waist.

Hoseok stands, pulls his underwear and pants up then falls back onto the chair.

There’s nothing but panting for a good few minutes.

“Doesn’t taste as bad as I thought it would,” Hoseok says eventually.

Yoongi laughs breathily into Namjoon’s neck, then lifts his head, swallowing hard.

“Umm…” Namjoon sees that drop of white on the corner of Yoongi’s lip. “Just…” he raises his hand to Yoongi’s face. “You have…” Namjoon blushes, smoothing his thumb over that little drop, then wiping it on his own shirt.

Yoongi scrunches up his nose.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, turning away from Namjoon.

Namjoon nods, looking away.

“Open the first drawer to your left,” Yoongi says, turning to Hoseok. “There’s gum in there.”

Hoseok opens the drawer and pulls out a pack of gum, “I said that it doesn’t taste bad.”

“You say that now,” Yoongi says, taking the gum from Hoseok. “Give it twenty minutes, you’ll change your mind,” he places two pieces of gum into his mouth. “Take some too, trust me.”

Hoseok takes the gum from Yoongi. He smacks his lips together, and Yoongi quirks an eyebrow at him, smirking. Hoseok lifts his eyebrows and shrugs in response, dropping a piece of gum onto his tongue a few seconds later.

They’re all quiet for a moment, a heavy kind of silence settling in.

Yoongi squirms in Namjoon’s lap. He doesn’t get off, but he does seem like something’s bothering him, like he wants to say something.

“So…” Namjoon tries.

“Yup,” Yoongi replies.

“This…” Hoseok says. “Didn’t go exactly the way I thought it would.”

Yoongi’s eyes widen comically, and he nods.

“Do you feel like- like you learned?” Yoongi asks weakly.

“Oh, yeah, I definitely learned,” Hoseok answers quickly. “A lot more than I thought I would.”

“Well, that’s good then,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon nods.

And… silence.

“Ugh, I don’t like this,” Yoongi says.

“What this?” Hoseok asks.

“This air of… awkward,” Yoongi answers. “Things may not have gone the way we planned, but the same rules still apply.”

“Remind me the rules?” Hoseok asks.

“This doesn’t leave the studio,” Yoongi says, getting off Namjoon’s lap and pulling up his pants. “And we do not let this get weird.”

Namjoon and Hoseok nod.

“Fucking promise,” Yoongi insists, zipping up his jeans.

“I promise,” Namjoon says.

“Promise,” Hoseok says.

Yoongi nods, “Promise.”

Chapter Text

It gets weird.

There is obvious effort being made for it to not get weird, but it gets weird regardless. Namjoon very actively tries to act normal around them, pretending that nothing happened, and he suspects they’re doing the same.

Mostly, it’s not that bad. Whenever they’re practicing or working, or generally when they’re with other people, they seem to be handling it better, not looking at each other funny. But there were a few moments during the following week in which he ended up alone with them, either with Yoongi, or with Hoseok, or with both of them. It’s in those moments… that it’s really awkward.

Namjoon finds it difficult to look at Yoongi’s face without remembering the feeling of Yoongi’s mouth around him. He finds it difficult to look at Hoseok and not see him with Yoongi’s dick in his mouth. He finds it difficult for multiple reasons.

First, because even though they’re his best friends, he has to work with them, and be professional around them, and it’s difficult to do that when he keeps remembering their ‘o’ faces. And second, thinking about what happened kind of makes him… horny, gives him chubs when chubs are inappropriate. He can’t be too mad at himself for it though. They were the first people he got off with in almost two years, it makes sense for him to latch onto that and think about it.

He does have to face the fact that these people, these two best friends, are very much male, and he’s never done anything remotely like that with men. Has he thought about men before? Sure, fleetingly, everyone does. He’s had his moment of looking up gay porn when he was a teenager, but it didn’t do anything for him back then. It doesn’t do anything for him right now either, he’s checked, sat in his and Taehyung’s room with the door locked and his headphones on, watching gay porn on his laptop for a good hour and… nothing, his dick barely even twitched.

Yet, somehow, the minute he was in the shower masturbating, thinking about all the girls he had slept with, images of Yoongi and Hoseok kept barging into his thoughts, and he really didn’t feel the need to stop them.

He tried though, he really did, for the sake of decency. But the moment he thought about himself holding the blonde girl against the wall, thrusting in and out of her ass, all he could see was Yoongi, on the other side of that wall, with his secondhand boner, listening and jerking off. And very quickly after that, the image morphed, and it was Yoongi he was holding up against the wall, Yoongi clawing at his back while Namjoon fucked into him. He tried to shake himself, to not think about it, but then suddenly he was coming, and Hoseok was right there in front of him, on his knees, swallowing his come.

And it kept happening. He kept imagining the most inappropriate things about his best friends at the most inappropriate times. He saw Hoseok stretching before dance practice, on the ground with his legs spread and had to look away. He saw Yoongi coming out of the shower without a shirt and thought: ‘has Yoongi always looked like that?’. Lying in his bed at night, with Taehyung sleeping right beside him, he thought about touching them, making them feel good, with his hands, with his lips, with his cock. He thought about them touching each other again, making each other feel good. And every time he had these thoughts, he felt so bad, so ashamed, and he hated it.

So, he really doesn’t know what to make of himself. He’s trying to think of this logically, to not let the confusion get to his head, but it’s not easy.

The worst part is the awkwardness around Yoongi and Hoseok though, because it makes it difficult to work with them. It’s interfering with the job. So, something has to be done about it, but Namjoon doesn’t know what.

Thankfully, Yoongi knows what to do.

It’s exactly one week after the incident that Yoongi has apparently had enough of it.

Namjoon is sitting in his room reading when there’s a knock on his door, and when he says ‘come in’ and it’s Yoongi on the other side of the door, Namjoon knows something is up.

“I want us to talk,” Yoongi says.

“Okay,” Namjoon says, understands that awkward as this will be, it’s probably the right thing to do.

“All three of us,” Yoongi says.

Namjoon closes his book and lays it on his bed. He stands up, and they go look for Hoseok in his room.

“Seokjin went out a few minutes ago, said he won’t be back for some time,” Yoongi says and they trod down the hallway. “We’ll talk in mine and Seokjin’s room.”

“Who else is home?” Namjoon asks.

“No one,” Yoongi answers. “The kids went out about half an hour ago.”

Hoseok opens the door to his room after three knocks.

“We’re going to talk,” Yoongi tells him.

Hoseok frowns, “Yay.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi says, turning around and leading them to his and Seokjin’s room. “I don’t particularly want to do this either but… I kind of think we have to.”

The three of them step into Yoongi and Seokjin’s room.

“Go, umm,” Yoongi says, locking the door behind them. “Go sit on my bed.”

When Hoseok sits down at the foot of Yoongi’s bed, Namjoon wonders about why they couldn’t do this somewhere else, somewhere where the setting doesn’t involve a bed, like the living room, maybe, somewhere that won’t make him think about sex. But he gets it. They wouldn’t want someone coming back home overhearing this particular conversation. So, he just sits down quietly beside Hoseok.

Yoongi doesn’t sit down, he comes to stand in front of them, leaning back against his dresser.

They’re quiet for a moment.

“We broke a rule,” Yoongi says, lower lip jutting out into a pout, eyes darting around. “It’s weird.”

“Yup,” Namjoon says.

Yoongi takes a deep breath, “We gotta make it… not weird.”

Namjoon and Hoseok wait for him to continue.

“O-kay, not very corporative,” Yoongi nods once. “I’m the hyung, I’ll start.”

“What are we doing?” Hoseok asks.

“Confessing,” Yoongi answers.

“What does that mean?” Hoseok asks.

“It means… that to make things not weird, we gotta make each other aware of what is causing us to feel weird,” Yoongi explains, though he doesn’t sound very convincing. “So that it’s out in the open instead of being hidden.”

“How’s that gonna help?” Namjoon asks.

“I don’t know,” Yoongi shakes his head, exasperated already. “I tried coming up with ideas for how to go about this, how to make this less awkward, but I don’t fucking know. So I’m just gonna get everything off my chest, and I think you should do the same. Honesty is always the best way to go, right?”

“I guess, yeah,” Namjoon answers, and Hoseok nods.  

“Okay, uh,” Yoongi starts, straightening out his back and taking a deep breath. “I feel weird about the fact that I know what your guys’ come tastes like.”

Namjoon and Hoseok both stare at him, silent.

“Okay, that might have been too much too fast,” Yoongi says, looking away.

“I-“ Hoseok starts, looking at Yoongi. “I also feel weird about knowing what your come tastes like.”

Yoongi nods, “That’s- that makes sense.”

“Though that’s not the thing that- that’s not what I feel the most weird-“ Hoseok exhales harshly. “Okay, you said confessing, so, I’m gonna confess. It’s gonna haunt me if I don’t,” he pauses, looks at Namjoon and Yoongi. “When I was masturbating yesterday, I thought about you guys.”

Namjoon gulps, saying nothing. Yoongi’s also quiet.

“Don’t worry,” Hoseok says. “I’m perfectly ashamed of it.”

“I- I also-” Yoongi stammers. “I also did that.”

“Really?” Hoseok asks.

“Me too,” Namjoon whispers, cheeks flaming.

“Really?” Hoseok and Yoongi ask at the same time, staring at him.

“Uh, yeah,” Namjoon says.

“That’s… unexpected,” Yoongi says. “From both of you, I mean.”

“Uhm, so…” Hoseok opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again. “Does that make things less awkward or more awkward?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Yoongi says.

They pause again.

Yoongi looks at Namjoon. “So… how’s your sexuality crisis going?”

“I- I don’t think I’m having one,” Namjoon says

“You kinda got off with two guys last week,” Yoongi says. “And now you’re masturbating to the thought of guys.”

“It’s not… guys, I don’t think,” Namjoon sighs. “It’s… only two specific guys. I-“ They’re both looking at him with blank faces. Namjoon’s eyebrows crease. “I don’t know if I can, all of the sudden, call myself bisexual. Like, I watched some gay porn a few days ago, and it didn’t do anything for me… at all. Somehow it’s… specific to you guys. Like, my- my bisexual exceptions or whatever you called it.”

“Oh,” Yoongi says. “I don’t know if… bisexual exceptions are actually a thing…”

“Apparently, for me, they are. I think it’s just because I’m so close to you, and I care so much about you. So… you feeling good makes me feel good… or something,” Namjoon says, clasping his hands together and looking at the floor. “I don’t know. I’m sorry if that’s really weird.”

Hoseok scoots closer to Namjoon, placing a hand on his back, “We’re all being kinda weird here, don’t worry about it.”

“Maybe I am having a late bisexual awakening or something, I don’t know, I’m not dismissing the possibility,” Namjoon says, shrugging. “I might try to like… make out with some guy next time I go out. Just to check.”

When he looks up he sees Yoongi smiling at him, and it’s one of the fondest smiles he’s ever seen on Yoongi. It’s so fond that Namjoon can’t help a small smile of his own.

“This is so fucking weird,” Namjoon says, and they all laugh a little at that.

“I think this’ll help though,” Yoongi says. “I don’t think it’ll be as weird from now on.”

“Hope so,” Namjoon says.

“Do you wanna… tell us some more about it?” Yoongi asks.

“About… how I jerked off thinking about you?” Namjoon blushes. “Do you want to tell us more about it?”

“Okay, yeah, stupid question,” Yoongi blushes too.

Yoongi walks over and drops himself onto the bed, head on the pillow. Namjoon turns to look at him.

“Come here,” Yoongi says.

Namjoon and Hoseok look at each other, then at Yoongi, watching him roll his eyes and spread his arms to the sides, making a ‘come hither’ motion with his fingers.

Hoseok goes first, lying down on Yoongi’s right.

Namjoon waits for a second, takes in the scene, watches Hoseok drape an arm across Yoongi’s torso. He ignores the little voice in his head that reminds him of last week, that makes him think of them in that way. It’s not the time for that. It’s never the time for that.

Yoongi’s eyes squint quizzically, his head tilting, and Namjoon gives in, lies down beside him, lays his hand on Yoongi’s stomach right beside Hoseok’s and tries to enjoy the kind of physical closeness that Yoongi doesn’t usually offer.

“I have something else to confess,” Yoongi whispers after a while. “Like, it’s… I know it’s gonna bother me if I don’t say anything about it.”

Namjoon looks at Yoongi, “What is it?”

“I really do believe that this conversation will make it less awkward for us, but…” Yoongi inhales deeply. “I don’t know if I can actually stop myself from thinking about what happened, from thinking about you… that way.”

“I don’t think I can stop myself from thinking about you that way either,” Namjoon says quietly.

“Yeah,” Hoseok exhales.

Yoongi nods seriously, “Does this mean that… things have changed? Can we not go back from this?”

“I’d like to think we can,” Namjoon says, trying to be positive. “Maybe after some time.”

“You know…” Hoseok says. “Maybe this isn’t as bad as we’re making it out to be.”

“What do you mean?” Yoongi asks.

“I was worried, throughout the week, that it was only me who was affected this way,” Hoseok says. “That it’d be a one-sided thing. But it’s not. It’s mutual. For all of us.”

“So?” Yoongi asks.

“So…” Hoseok says and stops with that.

“You’re not…” Yoongi’s eyebrows crease. “Offering…”

“I’m not offering anything,” Hoseok says, shrugging. “I’m just saying this doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”

Namjoon takes in Hoseok’s words, looking at the both of them. He understands what Yoongi thought Hoseok was offering, but there’s no way, no chance that something like that can happen. The thought of them… together, that’s not possible. Besides, Namjoon’s not even sure what that would really mean. Sex? Relationship? Them? He doesn’t want to date them, they’re his best friends, he doesn’t see them that way. And he knows they don’t see him that way either.

Yoongi watches them, eyes running from side to side, eyebrows furrowed. He’s thinking, and Namjoon wishes he could hear those thoughts.

The silence is tense. Not awkward but… charged. It’s almost like there’s something that needs to be said, but no one wants to say it.

“Pros and cons?” Yoongi whispers.

“Of what?” Namjoon asks quietly.

Yoongi looks at the ceiling, “Us sleeping together?”

He says it so plainly, like it would be simple, like it wouldn’t change everything. Namjoon has to hold back from spluttering and flailing his hands at the suggestion. He appreciates what Yoongi is trying to do though, trying to make them think about the subject logically instead of freaking out, trying to find some form of solution to the awkwardness of the week, even if said solution is one hundred percent absurd.

Neither Hoseok nor Namjoon says anything, and Namjoon feels the tension in his whole damn body.

“Clarify sleeping together,” Hoseok says eventually.

“What do you mean ‘clarify’?” Yoongi asks.

“Not dating,” Hoseok states.

“Not dating,” Yoongi repeats. “Just…”

“Sex?” Namjoon asks.

Yoongi nods.

“Pros,” Namjoon whispers.

“We all get laid,” Hoseok says.

“Whenever we want,” Yoongi adds.

“Don’t have to go out to get laid,” Namjoon says. “No media risk.”

“No more car sex,” Hoseok says.

“Unless we want to,” Yoongi adds.

“If the car’s big enough,” Hoseok shrugs.

“Sex with the same person,” Yoongi says after a moment. “Well, people.”

“How’s that a pro?” Hoseok asks.

“Learning each other over time, learning what the other person likes,” Yoongi says. “Sex becomes better and easier that way.”

“Haven’t thought about it like that,” Hoseok says.

“Also… experimenting in a safe environment,” Namjoon says, and Hoseok nods.

“Okay,” Yoongi says. “Any more?”

“Don’t know,” Hoseok answers.

“Cons?” Namjoon asks.

“If this goes wrong,” Yoongi says. “It might ruin our friendship.”

“It won’t,” Namjoon states, and they both look at him and nod seriously. “If this goes wrong, it’ll make working with each other more difficult.”

“Work comes first,” Yoongi says. “Sex second. If this starts interfering with Bangtan in any way, we stop.”

“Do we tell the others?” Hoseok asks.

“Don’t know yet,” Yoongi answers, then adds. “Not in the beginning.”

“If this goes really wrong, then there’s no point in telling them,” Namjoon says. “If it’ll… go well, then we’ll probably have to tell them at some point.”

“If it’ll go well,” Hoseok starts. “Then we’ll have to tell them before they inevitably catch us.”

Yoongi scoffs, “Yeah, that’s true.” 

“We do this only when it’s the three of us together?” Namjoon asks.

There’s a pause, and Namjoon wonders when they started talking about this as if they already decided.

“Yeah,” Hoseok says.

“Agreed,” Yoongi says. “No out of the ordinary touchiness in front of cameras.”

“I think that’s part of the ‘no interfering with the job’ thing,” Namjoon says.

“I might get touchy,” Hoseok says.

“You’re always touchy,” Yoongi smiles. “No one will suspect.”

Another pause.

“We can still sleep with other people,” Yoongi says.

“Yes,” Hoseok says, and Namjoon nods.

“We’ll tell each other if we sleep with other people,” Namjoon adds.

They look at him and nod.

“Any of the rules can change at any time so long as we talk about it,” Yoongi says.

“Yeah,” Hoseok says.

“Honesty and communication. Always,” Yoongi says. “Otherwise it’ll definitely not work.”

“Yes,” Namjoon says.

They get quiet again after that.

No one moves.

The silence lasts a while.

“So, are we…?” Hoseok asks eventually.

“If we are, I need a few minutes in the bathroom,” Yoongi says.

“Why?” Namjoon asks.

Yoongi sits up, inhales deeply, “Anal takes prep.”

He turns around to look at them. Namjoon sits up too, braces his back against the headboard.

“Obviously,” Namjoon says.

Hoseok follows, sitting up too.

“I wasn’t talking about that kind of prep,” Yoongi rolls his eyes. “I was talking about the other kind of prep.”

Hoseok raises his eyebrows.

“The cleaning kind of prep,” Yoongi says.

“Oh,” Hoseok says.

“Oh,” Yoongi repeats, scooting to the foot of the bed and getting off.

He turns around to look at Namjoon and Hoseok.

“Uh… I guess you should… start?” Yoongi says, then shakes himself. “I don’t fucking know, I’ll be right back.”

Yoongi unlocks the door and gets out of the room.

Namjoon turns to look at Hoseok who he finds is already watching him.

“Uh…” Hoseok tries.

“Is this really happening?” Namjoon asks quietly.

Hoseok blinks at him, “Not yet?”

Namjoon nods.

They’re just sitting there, staring at each other, and it’s weird. And they’re way too far apart. And Namjoon kind of doesn’t know what to do.

He’s just about to try to say something to break the silence when Hoseok scoots a little closer to him. He scratches the back of his neck, looking at Namjoon, and Namjoon is, all of the sudden, aware of how close they actually are.

They didn’t do anything with each other last week, not directly. Obviously, Namjoon watched Hoseok, and Hoseok watched back, but there was no contact. It didn’t stop Namjoon from fantasizing about Hoseok, about touching him and being touched by him, but maybe not touching last time is what’s making it weirder between them.

“Are you sure you want this?” Hoseok asks gently.

Namjoon watches his lips move, pictures those lips on him, realizes for the hundredth time this week that he wants those lips on him.

He nods slowly and brings his hand up to lightly touch the side of Hoseok’s neck. Hoseok doesn’t move when Namjoon starts leaning in, keeps his eyes open even when Namjoon’s nose brushes against his. And Namjoon wonders briefly if kissing is something they’re not supposed to do, if kissing is not part of what’s allowed in their little rule list, but he can’t imagine himself touching them without kissing, just can’t. So he closes the distance between them.

The kiss is gentle and quick, nothing but a soft press of their lips, then they pull back and look at each other. Namjoon says nothing, and neither does Hoseok. Hoseok lets his body speak for him. He lifts both hands to Namjoon’s neck and brings their lips together again, harder, forcing Namjoon to take a deep breath through his nose.

It’s different this time. Namjoon can feel Hoseok’s fingers digging into the back of his neck when their mouths open against each other. Hoseok slowly turns to get up on his knees, keeping their lips together. He grabs Namjoon by the biceps and pulls him up too. When they’re both facing each other, Namjoon places his hands on Hoseok’s hips and pulls him closer, and Hoseok’s fingers dig harshly into his shoulders. Their tongues brush together.

It’s good. It’s so good.

“Wow,” Namjoon hears Yoongi’s voice all of the sudden.

He pulls away from Hoseok, a little breathless, and turns his head to look at the door.

Yoongi is standing there with his mouth hanging open, quickly turning to lock the door behind himself.

“I was thinking about how I had no idea how to start this,” Yoongi says, walking into the room. “But I guess you figured it out.”

Hoseok laughs a little, his hands moving back up to Namjoon’s neck.

Yoongi leans back against his dresser, bracing his hands on it, his eyes squinting.

“You look fucking good together,” he says, the corner of his mouth turning up a little, making Namjoon blush.

Before he can even think, Hoseok is dragging him into another kiss. It’s harder, wetter, Hoseok’s tongue sliding between his lips. Having Yoongi watch seems to only spur Namjoon on, press his fingers into Hoseok’s hips. One of Hoseok’s hands moves down Namjoon’s front, the other slipping into his hair.

Namjoon kisses the side of Hoseok’s mouth, then places a kiss on his jaw, and Hoseok tips his head back so that Namjoon could press his lips into his neck.

“Shit,” Yoongi whispers.

Namjoon doesn’t stop kissing Hoseok’s neck, but he can feel Hoseok’s head turning in Yoongi’s direction, watching him watching them. It’s such an exhilarating feeling, being watched by Yoongi, Namjoon hadn’t realized he would enjoy it so much. He’s almost surprised to feel blood rushing between his legs, didn’t think he’d be getting hard so early, and yet, here he is.  

He holds off on biting or sucking the skin of Hoseok’s neck, makes sure to not leave hickeys, but he does slide his hands down from Hoseok’s hips to his lower back, then a little lower to gently lay his hands on Hoseok’s ass. Hoseok’s reaction is a little more than he expects. He gasps, jerks forward, his hardening crotch bumping against Namjoon’s. Then, he pushes back, right into Namjoon’s hands, encouraging Namjoon to grip harder.

Hoseok recovers quickly, the hand he has on Namjoon’s chest slipping lower to cup Namjoon’s crotch, and suddenly, it’s Namjoon’s turn to gasp. He acutely feels Yoongi’s eyes on them, so he turns to look at him and finds that Yoongi has a hand on the front of his own pants, rubbing his crotch.

“Come here,” Namjoon says.

Yoongi pushes away from the dresser and climbs onto the bed, joining them. He hesitates for a second when leaning forward towards Namjoon but then seems to shake himself, cupping Namjoon’s cheek and bringing their lips together into a kiss. Yoongi’s kisses are slower than Hoseok’s, but harder, have both of them breathing deeply through their noses. Yoongi’s tongue slides against Namjoon’s, and Hoseok’s hand rubs at the front of Namjoon’s sweats.

It’s a lot, a little overwhelming, but Namjoon can take it. He moves one hand away from Hoseok’s ass and wraps it around Yoongi’s torso, bringing them all together, then drags the other hand to the front of Hoseok’s jeans and cups his bulge.

He can’t say that he feels all that weird about touching another man’s cock, at least not when it’s Hoseok’s, not when Hoseok makes that little sound of pleasure that ends up pulsing all through Namjoon’s body.

Yoongi breaks away from Namjoon and kisses Hoseok, and Namjoon stops to watch the way their lips push against each other. They look really good like that, tongues peeking out, brushing together. And Namjoon’s a little amazed at how he can feel himself getting harder at the sight.

“Fuck, this is...” weird? Hot? Namjoon isn’t even sure how he was going to finish that sentence.

“Yeah,” Yoongi says, breaking away from Hoseok, his voice wavering. “Just go with it.”

Namjoon ignores the hint of uncertainty in Yoongi’s voice and nods.

The way Hoseok’s cock is hard beneath Namjoon’s palm is stupidly arousing, and he doesn’t let himself think before reaching for the button of Hoseok’s jeans and opening it, he just does it, just goes with it. Yoongi’s hands scramble to help him, shoving Hoseok’s jeans past his ass and down to his knees.

Hoseok looks down between their bodies as Yoongi and Namjoon get his underwear off, looks down to see his cock standing upright for them. A little sigh leaves Yoongi’s lips, his eyebrows creasing, hand coming down to cup himself again. Namjoon, braving himself, wraps a hand around Hoseok’s shaft and strokes.

“So, how does it feel to have another guy’s dick your hand?” Yoongi asks quietly, slowly rubbing himself.

“Not all that different,” Namjoon says, stroking Hoseok, smirking. “A little smaller.”

Hoseok slaps his shoulder and snickers, reaching for Namjoon’s sweatpants and underwear and tugging them down to his knees. The cold air hitting Namjoon’s cock sends shivers up his neck.

“I can’t get over how big you are,” Hoseok laughs. “It’s ridiculous.”

“No, it isn’t,” Namjoon looks up at Hoseok. “It’s not that big.”

“It’s big, Joonie,” Yoongi says, wrapping a hand around Namjoon’s shaft, licking his lips. “It is.”

Yoongi stares at Namjoon’s cock and licks his lips again, and Namjoon huffs out a laugh, a sudden wave of confidence rushing through him.

“I’m not gonna stop you,” he tells Yoongi, voice teasing.

“From what?” Yoongi looks up at him, something a little dark in his eyes.

Namjoon lets go of Hoseok, leans in and kisses Yoongi again, whispers against his lips, “Sucking it.”

“Look at your ego,” Yoongi teases, locking their gazes, lips brushing against Namjoon’s as he speaks. “Growing as big as your cock.”

Yoongi’s smirk has Namjoon leaning in and kissing him again. He should have known Yoongi would be one for talking like that.

Yoongi bites Namjoon’s lower lip and breaks away.

“Scoot,” he tells Hoseok, bumping his hip against Hoseok’s.

Hoseok laughs and moves a little to the side, sitting back on his heels and gripping his own length.

Yoongi smiles teasingly up at Namjoon when he leans down and licks up the side of Namjoon’s shaft.

Hoseok gasps, “Wait, me too.”

And if that’s not a picture that came out of his wettest dreams, Namjoon doesn’t know what is. Hoseok and Yoongi bent over in front of him, Hoseok with his ass bare and back arched. The two of them with their tongues licking at the head of Namjoon’s cock.

He has to look up. It’s too much to see. Can’t believe that it’s real. But his hands drop down to tangle in their hair anyway, just to help ground himself to reality. When wetness engulfs him, Namjoon bows his head, surprised to see that it’s Hoseok who has his lips traveling down his shaft.

Yoongi’s hand joins Namjoon’s in Hoseok’s hair, fingers dragging down Hoseok’s scalp.

“Slowly,” Yoongi whispers, pressing a kiss to Hoseok’s temple. “You’re not getting him off like this. There are other things I want to do with that.”

Yoongi’s back arches when he bends a little lower, gently kissing the base of Namjoon’s shaft. Hoseok continues sucking him while Yoongi tongues at his balls, and Namjoon has to look up again. His breathing is becoming heavier, body flushing with warmth.

Hoseok pulls away from him.

“Can you deepthroat him again?” Hoseok asks. “I wanna see it up close.”

When Namjoon looks down, Yoongi is smirking. He’s smiling so much, being so… playful. It’s such a rare thing to see, and Namjoon really fucking loves it.

“Sure,” Yoongi says. “But just a little, don’t want him to come from it.”

Hoseok nods quickly.

Yoongi drags his tongue up the side of Namjoon’s cock, and Hoseok holds the base of it, angling the tip towards Yoongi’s mouth.

He takes so much more than Hoseok, right away going below the half mark, quickly working his head lower. It’s incredible the second time too, the moment his cock breaches into Yoongi’s throat, makes Namjoon bite his lip to hold back a grunt.

Yoongi grabs Hoseok’s wrist and places Hoseok’s fingers gently on his neck, right above his Adam’s apple.

Hoseok gasps.

“What is it?” Namjoon asks. Yoongi keeps bobbing his head up and down, almost all the way now.

“Holy shit,” Hoseok looks up at Namjoon. “I can literally feel you in there.”

Yoongi pulls off, “Cool, right?”

“Holy shit,” Hoseok repeat, dropping a quick hard kiss on Yoongi’s lips. “You will teach me how to do that.”

“He has a good cock to practice on,” Yoongi says, both hands wrapping around Namjoon’s length, sliding up and down. He shakes his head, “A really good cock.”

And Namjoon can’t take any more of that.

“Okay, up, please, get up,” he tells Yoongi, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him into a kneeling position.

“What?” Yoongi feigns innocence. “I can teach you too.”

Namjoon tugs on Yoongi’s shirt, pulling it up and off when Yoongi raises his hands.

“Can’t practice on myself,” he says. “Not that flexible.”

“Don’t need to practice on yourself. Practice on us,” Yoongi answers. “Seok-ah and I are not as big as you anyway.”

Yoongi pulls off Namjoon’s shirt too, and Hoseok gets up and takes his own shirt off as well. It’s not new for Namjoon, seeing them with no shirts, but something is different about it now, something about it makes Namjoon want to lean down and lick, bite, see where and what is sensitive. He doesn’t though, not yet, but he wants to.

Hoseok kneels back down in front of Yoongi, working Yoongi’s jeans open, then sticks his hand in Yoongi’s pants and pulls his cock out.

“No problem getting hard this time,” Hoseok smiles wide.

“There was no problem last time,” Yoongi protests. “It was just a different situation.”

“If that makes you feel better,” Hoseok says, stroking Yoongi.

“Fuck off,” Yoongi says, shoving at Hoseok’s chest lightly.

Yoongi drops onto his ass and starts pushing his jeans and underwear off his legs, Hoseok helping tug them down. Then Hoseok’s pulling Yoongi back up onto his knees and into a kiss.

“You’re a good kisser,” Hoseok says against Yoongi’s lips.

“No shit,” Yoongi says, pauses. “You’re not too bad either.”

“Joonie is also a good kisser,” Hoseok adds.

Namjoon presses up against Yoongi’s back, keeping his hips a safe distance away from Yoongi’s ass, and drops a kiss onto the back of Yoongi’s head.

Yoongi turns his head, hand reaching up and grabbing the back of Namjoon’s neck, dragging Namjoon into a kiss. While his lips work against Yoongi’s, Namjoon lets his hands wander. From Yoongi’s hips, up his sides, over his chest and stomach. He realizes then, just how male the body under his hands is, but he doesn’t mind it. He likes knowing that this is Yoongi’s body he’s making feel good. His palm drags down to wrap around Yoongi’s shaft, where his hand meets Hoseok’s.

Their fingers tangle on Yoongi’s shaft, and they stroke him together for a moment, making him gasp. His head drops back onto Namjoon’s shoulder, and Namjoon kisses his jaw. He lets his hands continue on their little journey on Yoongi’s body, bringing them over from Yoongi’s cock back to Yoongi’s ass.

He can’t say he’s ever appreciated Yoongi’s ass before, but he can’t help but do it now, firm but soft, perfectly fucking round, really good for holding. Yoongi sighs and pushes back into his hands, encouraging. In a way, this is familiar territory, Namjoon knows what to do here. In another way, this is Yoongi, and Namjoon is concerned about boundaries, despite the fact that there seem to be none left.

It doesn’t matter that Yoongi’s apparently all sass and dirty words in bed, when Namjoon cups the cheeks of Yoongi’s ass, he does it gently. When he digs his fingers between them, he does it gentler still. Just to make sure. Just to not do too much.

Yoongi’s not reacting badly though. He’s kissing Hoseok again, his hips slowly rocking between Namjoon and Hoseok’s bodies. He seems to be enjoying this, and that makes Namjoon a little bolder, enough to lightly rub the tip of his pointer finger against Yoongi’s soft hole. And Yoongi just pushes back onto Namjoon’s finger, moves his hips a little more sharply between them, groans from deep inside his throat.

Namjoon lets his other hand run up Yoongi’s torso again, lets his thumb brush over one of Yoongi’s nipples, wondering if they’re as sensitive as those of the girls he’s been with. They’re not. Just touching them seems to have no effect, but when Namjoon tightens his grip around one, pinching, Yoongi hisses, breaking away from Hoseok.

Yoongi grabs Namjoon’s wrist, and Namjoon smiles into the nape of Yoongi’s neck, pointer finger still slowly circling Yoongi’s hole.

“Too much?” he asks Yoongi.

“No,” Yoongi pants, letting go of Namjoon’s wrist. “I like it.”

“Do you?” Namjoon asks. “Like it a little rough?”

“I like it a lot rough,” Yoongi answers.

Hoseok is looking at Namjoon over Yoongi’s shoulder, a tiny smirk decorating his lips.

“Yeah?” Hoseok asks, his hands moving to grasp Yoongi’s ass cheeks, pulling them apart. He leans in to whisper in Yoongi’s ear, face coming really close to Namjoon’s over Yoongi’s shoulder. “You like getting fucked hard?”

Yoongi nods slowly.

The way Hoseok keeps his eyes locked on Namjoon almost makes Namjoon blush.

“Like getting your throat fucked?” Namjoon asks, feeling bold again, keeping his eyes locked with Hoseok’s, wanting to make him blush too. “Like getting your hole stretched wide on big hard cocks?”

“Shit,” Yoongi whispers, “What the hell,” and Namjoon feels Yoongi’s hole clenching beneath his finger. It feels almost like he’s trying to suck Namjoon in.

Surprisingly, it’s Namjoon that Hoseok pulls into a kiss. Namjoon gasps into Hoseok’s mouth, moves his hand from Yoongi’s hole and wraps it around both Yoongi and Hoseok, bringing them all flush against each other. Yoongi wiggles his hips until Namjoon’s cock fits between his spread ass cheeks that Hoseok is still holding apart, and Namjoon moans, grinding without thinking.

“Condoms,” Yoongi gasps. “Lube and condoms, bottom drawer, fucking get them.”

Separating from them might be one of the most difficult things Namjoon has ever done. He kisses Hoseok’s lips one last time, drops another kiss on the back of Yoongi neck and gets off the bed. Yoongi and Hoseok continue kissing, and Namjoon stumbles on a stray shoe because he’s not looking at where he’s going. Hoseok snorts when he sees it, and honestly, Namjoon can’t even blame him, stumbling around half naked with his cock hanging out of his pants.

Namjoon bends down and opens the bottom drawer of Yoongi’s bedside table. Distracted again by a grunt coming from the bed, he finds that Yoongi has pushed Hoseok onto his back, with Hoseok’s head hitting the pillow, and is roughly tugging Hoseok’s jeans down his legs. Namjoon looks away, resists the urge to stroke himself and focuses on finding the lube and condoms.

When he stands up again, he has to pause. Yoongi’s straddling Hoseok’s thighs with one hand braced on the mattress beside Hoseok’s head, the other one stroking Hoseok’s shaft. And Hoseok is just lying there, looking a little helpless, holding Yoongi’s ass with both hands, his head thrown back as Yoongi kisses his neck. Namjoon is honestly a little intimidated by how attractive he finds the whole situation, by how he feels his dick throb between his legs.

Yoongi ends up catching him staring, a little breathy laugh escaping his lips.

“Drop your pants and get over here,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon doesn’t remember the last time he moved so quickly to do anything.

With the bottle of lube and string of condoms thrown on the bed, Namjoon drops his sweatpants and underwear, almost falling again in his hurry to climb onto the bed. Yoongi and Hoseok both laugh at him softly, and even though Namjoon knows that their looks are full of affection, he blushes.

He settles behind Yoongi, straddling Hoseok’s legs. Yoongi leans back against Namjoon’s chest, and Namjoon wraps both arms around Yoongi’s torso.

“What do you want to do?” Namjoon asks Yoongi.

“Well, I didn’t clean up for nothing, did I?” Yoongi says.

Namjoon laughs lightly, “Yeah, but more specifically?”

“Umm, I wanna… I wanna…” Yoongi grunts in frustration. “There are so many options with a threesome.”

“There are only two options technically,” Hoseok laughs.

“But I want both,” Yoongi complains, his chest shaking with laughter under Namjoon’s hands.

“Then you’ll get both,” Namjoon giggles. “Lean down, I’ll prep you.”

Yoongi laughs a little harder, bending back down and kissing Hoseok, and it’s kind of beautiful. Hoseok’s hands on Yoongi’s fair skin are almost shockingly darker, Yoongi’s back is arched deep enough to be incredibly inciting, and when Namjoon leans back to get the bottle of lube, he’s met with an… unfamiliar sight.

It’s not like he hasn’t seen butts before, of course he has. But from his angle, he has such a clear view of Yoongi’s balls hanging below his pink hole, and below that, Hoseok’s cock lying hard on his groin, and it’s so different from anything he’s been used to so far that he can’t help but stare for a moment. What surprises Namjoon about the whole situation though, is not what he sees, but rather his own reaction to it.

He looks over to watch Yoongi kissing Hoseok and wants to kiss too, not just their lips, but everything, just everything, whatever makes them feel good.

So he lays the bottle of lube back down and, before overthinking it, he leans forward, dropping a kiss on the small of Yoongi’s back. He watches the back of Yoongi’s head as his lips travel lower, waiting for Yoongi’s reaction, for his permission, for his denial. His palms spread Yoongi’s cheeks apart, lips pressing softly between them, safely above Yoongi’s hole, smelling faint hints of soap. He feels Yoongi still and waits, but Yoongi’s refusal doesn’t come, so he lets his tongue fall from between his lips, and licks a long stripe across Yoongi’s hole.

Yoongi moans and gasps shakily.

“What? What is he doing?” Hoseok asks.

Namjoon drags his tongue over Yoongi’s rim with deliberate strokes, listening to Yoongi gasp softly.

“Licking,” Yoongi whispers.

His hole tightens beneath Namjoon’s tongue and stays tight, unrelenting.

“Loosen up, hyung,” Namjoon says.

Yoongi exhales roughly, his hole opening up a little, just enough for Namjoon to tease his tongue inside.

“Fuck, you can’t rim me right now,” Yoongi whines.

“Why not?” Hoseok asks, and Namjoon’s glad he does because it means he can keep sliding the tip of his tongue in and out of Yoongi.

“Because I was mentally ready for cock, and this is not fucking fair,” Yoongi moans, clenching around Namjoon’s tongue.

“Because you can come from it?” Hoseok asks, while Namjoon taps Yoongi’s cheek with his palm twice, feeling him loosen up again.

“Yeah,” Yoongi chokes out.

Namjoon holds back his smile and keeps going for a few moments, upping the pressure just slightly, pushing his tongue just a little deeper, getting off on Yoongi’s moans. He relents eventually though, not wanting Yoongi to come from this either, and drags his fingers between Yoongi’s cheeks, slipping his middle finger into Yoongi’s spit-slick hole for a moment before taking it out.

Grabbing the lube again, Namjoon pours a little onto two of his fingers. He waits only long enough to see Hoseok kissing Yoongi’s neck, then slips his middle finger into Yoongi. He expects resistance, expects Yoongi to clench on him the way he did when his tongue was there, but Yoongi takes his finger all the way like it’s nothing, the only indication that he feels anything is his groan.

“Two,” Yoongi says immediately, and Namjoon is surprised by the sudden assertiveness in his voice. “Give me two right away.”

“You sure?” Namjoon asks, slowly pushing in and out of Yoongi with that one finger.

“Yes,” Yoongi replies, and Namjoon isn’t one to argue.

The second finger goes in almost as easily as the first, and very quickly, Namjoon is speeding up, curling his fingers every which way, trying to find that little spot that boys have and girls don’t. He curiously leans forward and presses his lips to Yoongi’s balls. They’re soft, really soft, and also smell like soap.

“Ah, fuck,” Yoongi exclaims, clenching around Namjoon’s fingers.

Found it.

Namjoon slows down his thrusts and drags the tips of his fingers against Yoongi’s prostate over and over again, Yoongi’s hole fluttering around him. He watches as Hoseok’s hand sneaks between his and Yoongi’s bodies, his palm wrapping around his own shaft, and thinks that if he’s already going for it, he might as well jump right into the deep end.

He waits until Hoseok’s hand is around the base of his shaft before leaning forwards and giving a quick lick to the head of Hoseok’s cock. It’s salty, maybe a little bitter, but hearing Hoseok gasp makes Namjoon realize that it actually tastes really fucking good. So he takes him in deeper, lips going as far as the crown. It’s a fullness Namjoon hasn’t felt before, an unfamiliar weight and pressure on his tongue, but he hollows his cheeks and does his best.

His cock throbs between his legs as he listens to both Hoseok and Yoongi moaning for him, both of them falling apart under his fingertips. He works his tongue around Hoseok’s head, his fingers pushing deeper into Yoongi. His own cock is hard, neglected, but he couldn’t be more satisfied right now. There’s a tightness in his chest that he’s fighting back, an urge to call them good, tell them they’re doing so well, praise them until both their cheeks and cocks are flushed red. But more than anything, he wishes that he could see their faces right now.

“Come on,” Yoongi urges. “Come on, I’m ready.”

Namjoon pulls his lips off Hoseok, “You sure? Don’t want another finger?”

“No, god, I’m sure,” Yoongi says. “Just- just…”

“Are you gonna say please?” Namjoon smirks.

“Fuck you,” Yoongi exhales.

“Maybe some other time,” Namjoon laughs.

“Shit, really?” Hoseok asks.

Namjoon pulls his fingers out of Yoongi. He picks up a condom, rips the foil, rolls it on Hoseok’s cock, and thinks about Yoongi and Hoseok fucking him. He grabs Yoongi’s hip and leads him lower, teases Yoongi’s hole with the tip of Hoseok’s cock, and thinks about lying with his legs spread and back arched as one of them pushes into him. He thinks, dragging the head of Hoseok’s cock over and over Yoongi’s rim, pausing Yoongi’s hips every time he tries to sink down. He thinks, and decides that he’s not opposed to these thoughts.

Yoongi grunts in frustration, “Stop being an asshole.”

“Say please,” Namjoon teases, pressing Hoseok’s cock right up against Yoongi’s hole, dipping it in just slightly.

Namjoon thinks he hears Yoongi swear under his breath, but Yoongi doesn’t actually say anything, just tries to shove down again. And Namjoon would tease him more, he really would, but Hoseok whines desperately enough that he takes pity on both of them, letting go of Yoongi’s hip and watching him sink down on Hoseok’s cock, ass falling flush onto Hoseok’s hips.

Yoongi rocks back and forth on Hoseok, both of them moaning, and Namjoon straightens his back, grabs Yoongi’s waist with both hands and pulls him up, presses Yoongi back against his own chest. Hoseok is blinking at the two of them, his eyes glazed over, lips parted as he pants.

“You know,” Namjoon says, lips brushing the back of Yoongi’s neck. “I have a feeling I’ll have you saying please sooner or later.”

Yoongi shakes his head.

“Yes,” Namjoon argues, holding Yoongi’s hip, helping him lift up and sink back down again. “If not now, then next time I get my tongue in you.”

“I’m older than you,” Yoongi whispers weakly.

“Yeah,” Namjoon kisses Yoongi’s neck. “And I’ll rim you so good you won’t be able to stop yourself.”

Yoongi grunts, fucks himself harder onto Hoseok.

“Fuck that,” he says. “You’re gonna be the ones begging, both of you.”

“You think so?” Namjoon asks, moving one hand from Yoongi’s waist to his own cock, relief washing over him as he strokes himself.

“Yes,” Yoongi asserts, shoving himself onto Hoseok so hard every time their hips connect a slapping sound fills the room. “Two little- little virgin holes for me to ruin.”

“Ruin…” Namjoon echoes, jerking himself a little harder. “I think you should be gentle with us.”

“I will be,” Yoongi says. “I’ll be so gentle, so fucking gentle and slow, and you’ll be begging me, you’ll be- you’ll be fucking ruined.”

“Look at him,” Namjoon says, eyes on Hoseok’s parted lips, wide eyes, and flushed chest. “He looks ruined already.”

Yoongi breathes out a laugh, “He does, doesn’t he?” Yoongi wraps a palm around his own shaft. “Don’t you remember? His favorite thing is to have a girl ride him, right? How does it feel to have a boy ride you, Seokie?”

All they get out of Hoseok is a strangled whine.

Yoongi’s head rolls back onto Namjoon’s shoulder, his smile wide and satisfied.

Namjoon can’t help but smile too, seeing Hoseok like this, for once, at a complete loss for words.

“He’d be good at taking cock,” Yoongi says quietly, looking at the ceiling. “I just know it.”

“You’re good at taking cock,” Namjoon whispers, his fingers digging into Yoongi’s hip.

“Yeah,” Yoongi agrees, sinking low and rocking back and forth again, his body jerking on every forward roll.

Yoongi’s basically teasing himself, Namjoon can tell by the way Yoongi’s muscles twitch whenever he gets Hoseok’s cock to drag over his prostate. He’s too in control, that little smirk not leaving his lips, and Namjoon yearns to challenge that control, to challenge Yoongi. But he waits, patiently, jerking himself off to the sight of two of his best friends pleasing each other.

Namjoon replaces the hand Yoongi has on his cock with one of his own and holds him, lets Yoongi thrust up into his fist and back onto Hoseok’s hips. Yoongi leans forward, braces both palms on Hoseok’s chest and fucks down hard, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room.

He’s not teasing himself now. He’s taking, taking what he needs from Hoseok. Namjoon watches how Yoongi’s hole opens around Hoseok’s width, stretched wide, dark pink and glistening with lube, his cock actually throbbing in Namjoon’s hand.

“Hyung,” Hoseok exhales. “Yoongi.”

“Yeah?” Yoongi says, hips still slamming against Hoseok’s.

“Slow- down,” Hoseok chokes out. “Please.”

Yoongi rolls his hips, breathing hard, “Why? You gonna come already?”

Hoseok covers his flushed face with his hands, grunting, “I don’t wanna come yet.”

“Ugh,” Yoongi stops moving and leans back on Namjoon again. “I feel like this whole thing should be weirder.”

Namjoon lets go of his own shaft and brings his hips closer to Yoongi, fitting his cock above where Hoseok is still buried deep inside.

“It probably should,” Namjoon answers.

He reaches for another condom, tries to open the packet but his fingers are slippery, so he ends up doing it with his teeth.

Yoongi looks at him rolling the condom down his length.

“Oh, fuck, yeah,” he says and looks back at Hoseok, lifting himself and letting Hoseok’s length slip out. “You wanna fuck my mouth?”

“Oh my god, yes,” Hoseok says, wiping sweat off his forehead.

He starts scrambling back, his legs slipping away from beneath Yoongi and Namjoon. Namjoon grabs Yoongi by the hips and pulls him back on the bed enough so that Hoseok actually has space between them and the headboard.

The first thing Hoseok does after getting onto his knees is grab Yoongi’s face and kiss him. Yoongi yelps in surprise but catches himself quickly, his own hands scrambling for Hoseok’s neck, his hips rolling against nothing. Namjoon pours some lube onto himself, then plasters his front to Yoongi’s back, grinding his cock between Yoongi’s cheeks.

He’s just about to ask if Yoongi’s ready when Yoongi reaches back and grabs his shaft, and quite frankly, Namjoon doesn’t even have time to think before Yoongi is backing onto his cock, gasping into Hoseok’s lips. Namjoon grunts, forehead falling onto the back of Yoongi’s neck as he grabs Yoongi’s hips and slowly pushes in to the hilt.

“Tight,” Namjoon breathes.

“Nope,” Yoongi’s voice is high suddenly. “You’re just that big.”

Namjoon pauses, holds Yoongi close, “Are you okay?”

“Okay? Am I okay?” Yoongi asks, clenching sporadically around Namjoon. “I’m gonna die if you don’t start fucking me.”

“How dramatic,” Namjoon smiles, pulling his hips back and shoving in.

Yoongi gasps again, still holding onto Hoseok’s neck, but he’s pushing back against Namjoon, urging him to go faster, harder, and Namjoon can do nothing but comply. His thrusts are shallow at first, letting Yoongi adjust to his size, letting himself adjust to the heat, the tightness, but he still puts enough power in them to have Yoongi jerking forward, suddenly going silent.

“Still good?” Namjoon asks, making sure.

“Aha,” Yoongi chokes out, voice breaking.

Hoseok runs his fingers through Yoongi’s now damp hair, the look in his eyes incredibly affectionate. He’s still panting, pulling himself back from what was probably something very close to an orgasm, but his pupils are blown wide, still craving, his fingers reaching down and dragging the condom off himself, throwing it onto the sheets. And Namjoon’s sure Yoongi would have commented on that had he not been moaning. Or maybe his eyes are just closed, Namjoon doesn’t know.

Namjoon runs his hands down Yoongi’s sides, making his thrusts a little longer, a little more drawn out, before reaching up and grabbing the back of Yoongi’s neck. Yoongi says nothing to stop Namjoon when Namjoon pushes him down, forcing his hands off Hoseok’s neck and down onto the mattress, and Namjoon can’t see, but he understands, when Hoseok scoots a little forward and moans, that Yoongi has taken Hoseok’s cock into his mouth.

It’s almost upsetting to have Yoongi’s voice silenced, but Hoseok’s moans replace his and really, they’re just as good. Hoseok’s fingers are in Yoongi’s hair, hips slowly dragging forward and back, and god, Namjoon remembers how good that throat feels, how hot and wet and perfect.

“God, you’re taking it so well,” the words are out of Namjoon’s lips before he can think to stop them, but fuck if Yoongi’s responsive moan isn’t encouraging.

He really means it too, Yoongi is being so good, despite all his biting remarks, his filthy promises, he’s giving both him and Hoseok so much, and Namjoon wants to give back as best as he can. So, his thrusts speed up, become harder, and he angles his hips, trying to find Yoongi’s prostate. He knows he’s found it the moment Yoongi pulls off Hoseok and drops his head forward, gasping.

“Fuck, fuck, get off my prostate,” Yoongi says. “I’m gonna accidentally bite his dick off, oh my god.”

Namjoon laughs breathlessly, keeps the speed of his thrusts the same but angles up, away from Yoongi’s prostate, just for now, just until Hoseok has come down Yoongi’s throat.

“Come on, come back,” Yoongi tugs on Hoseok’s thigh until Hoseok’s head lolls back in pleasure.

“Fuck him hard,” Namjoon says, digging his fingers into Yoongi’s hips, holding himself back. “He can take it.”

Hoseok nods, eyes somewhere far away, close and getting closer. His fingers dig into Yoongi’s scalp and hold his head in place, hips shoving forward again and again, faster and faster. Namjoon slows down and matches Hoseok’s speed, realizing that he himself is getting a bit too close a bit too fast.

Yoongi’s knuckles are white where he’s gripping the sheets, grunts coming from deep in his throat every time Namjoon and Hoseok push in. The back of his neck is flushed a pretty pink, skin glistening with sweat, and his cock is rock hard where Namjoon reaches down to stroke him. Namjoon wishes he could see his face, wishes he knew if Yoongi’s eyes are shut tight, or if they’re open, looking up at Hoseok. He promises himself that next time they do this, he’ll have Yoongi on his back, or maybe in his lap, have him in a way where he could see him fall apart on his cock.

For now, he satiates himself by watching Hoseok’s face contort in pleasure, lower lip caught between his teeth, cut off whimpers slipping past his lips. He’s holding back, Namjoon can tell by the little crease between his brows.

“Let go,” Namjoon says, locking eyes with Hoseok. “We’re all close. You can come, let go.”

Hoseok whimpers in response, eyes closing, thrusting just a little faster. His lips fall open but no sound comes out, and suddenly Yoongi is clenching hard around Namjoon, and Namjoon can only imagine that it’s a mirror of what Yoongi’s throat is doing around Hoseok as he swallows.

It’s a few moments before Hoseok untangles his fingers from Yoongi’s hair, falling onto his heels. Yoongi is gasping the second his mouth is free, and Namjoon doesn’t waste a second, pulling Yoongi back against his chest, angling his hips and fucking into Yoongi’s prostate.

Yoongi’s voice breaks on a whimper, hands scrambling for purchase on something. Hoseok leans forward, letting Yoongi grab his shoulders, while his own hand reaches up to the back of Yoongi’s neck. He pulls Yoongi forward, practically hugging Yoongi to his chest while Namjoon pistons in and out of him, keeping his aim steady, making sure to fuck Yoongi right where he needs it.

“Tell me you’re okay,” Namjoon urges, worried by Yoongi’s sudden silence.

Yoongi gasps, starts panting heavily.

“Harder,” he demands. “Harder, harder.”

It’s not a ‘please’, but this is closer to begging than Namjoon’s ever thought he’d get. He worries briefly, as his thrusts get more powerful, his heart beating out of his chest, if he’s holding Yoongi’s hips too tightly, if he’s going to leave bruises, but his self-control is flying out the window the more Yoongi whimpers, and he finds that nothing can make him hold back now.

His orgasm is closing in on him too fast, his balls drawing up tight, heat spreading all over him, but he won’t come, not before Yoongi, not before he has Yoongi falling apart from how good he feels. So he grits his teeth and grunts against the strain in his thighs. Then he unfastens his grip from one of Yoongi’s hips and wraps his fingers carefully around Yoongi’s shaft.

Yoongi’s reaction takes Namjoon off guard, making Namjoon’s hips stutter, his rhythm falter, hearing Yoongi full-on sobbing, burying his face in Hoseok’s neck. His cock pulses in Namjoon’s palm, hole tightening to the point that it almost hurts to keep thrusting, and when Namjoon feels wetness dripping down his fist, he realizes that Yoongi’s coming.

Yoongi still pushes back on him, riding it out, whimpering, and suddenly Namjoon is right there with him, losing himself as he tips over the edge.

It lasts so long, and Namjoon thinks his heart is literally going to burst. Yoongi is gasping softly into Hoseok’s neck, hips weakly rolling against Namjoon, his dick going soft in Namjoon’s palm. Namjoon can’t even find the strength in himself to pull out, simply closes his eyes, drops his forehead onto Yoongi’s back and hugs him, warmth washing over his chest when he feels Hoseok rub the back of his neck.

They don’t move for a while, just stay wrapped up in each other, relaxing their breathing. Namjoon does pull out eventually, holding the base of the condom, but that’s as far as he goes. His dick is softening between his legs, the come-filled condom grossing him out. But he doesn’t want to move, can’t move, so he stays as close to them as he can.

Yoongi exhales roughly and turns his torso between them, cupping Namjoon’s cheek and bringing him into a kiss. It’s lazy and tired and so nice. Yoongi’s lips are warm, his tongue languidly tangling with Namjoon’s. Namjoon is confused for a moment at the saltiness on Yoongi’s tongue, but then he realizes that it’s probably Hoseok he’s tasting, Hoseok’s come.

He leans back from Yoongi and, touching Hoseok’s neck, pulls Hoseok into a kiss as well. And when his tongue touches Hoseok’s, he wonders if Hoseok can taste himself. Yoongi pulls Hoseok away from Namjoon and kisses him too, and Namjoon takes the opportunity to roll the condom off and tie it in a knot.

“Trashcan over there,” Yoongi says, pointing towards his bedside table.

Namjoon reluctantly untangles himself from them and, with shaky legs, steps off the bed. He spots the condom that Hoseok dropped onto the sheets earlier, makes a face and picks that up as well, going to the little trashcan Yoongi has beside his bedside table and throwing both condoms away.

When he turns back around, Yoongi is in the middle of falling onto his back, Hoseok dropping down beside him, stuffing his face into Yoongi’s neck.

“Wet wipes?” Namjoon asks, unable to hold back a smile at the sight.

“First drawer,” Yoongi answers.

He cleans off his own hands first, then kneels on the floor and wipes Yoongi’s stomach, his shaft, urges him to lift a leg so he could gently wipe between his thighs. Yoongi’s eyes stay closed the whole time, trusting and satiated, and Namjoon can’t help but smile wider.

“Make room,” he says after throwing the wipes away. Hoseok starts moving closer to Yoongi. “Nope, I want the middle.”

With a chuckle, Hoseok separates himself from Yoongi, and Namjoon climbs on the bed, falling face first between the two of them. He lies like that until the pillow starts suffocating him, then turns over. Hoseok cuddles up to him immediately, wrapping an arm around his waist and pressing his face to his shoulder. Yoongi stays where he is, on his back with his eyes closed, but his arm is lying pressed to Namjoon, and that’s good enough for him.

“That was good,” Yoongi says quietly.

“That might be the understatement of the century,” Hoseok says, and a smile explodes on Yoongi’s face.

Yoongi turns onto his side, hand propped up under his head.

“So, this is gonna be a thing now?” he asks.

“Well, I seem to remember you promising to do some things,” Namjoon answers.

Yoongi huffs out a laugh.

“Yeah, god,” Hoseok’s voice is loud. “You two go off with the dirty talking. I mean, I thought I was good at it, but then you…”

Namjoon snorts, blushing.

“He really went with it,” Yoongi says, laughing. “It was great. A true rarity.”

“I meant what I said,” Namjoon laughs too. “I wasn’t just… saying it.”

“Yeah?” Yoongi bites his lower lip. “You’d let me fuck you?”

“I’d- I’d let both of you,” Namjoon answers, blushing again.

“Yeah…” Yoongi says. “Yeah, this is gonna be a thing now.”

“I would also like to try that,” Hoseok states.

“What?” Yoongi asks. “Bottoming?”

Hoseok nods, “Just… maybe… you first and Joonie… later.”

Namjoon laughs.

“Yeah, that’s a bit too big for first time anal,” Yoongi says. “Mine would be better.”

“Didn’t hear you complaining,” Namjoon comments, smirking.

Yoongi rolls his eyes, “Even if I wanted to complain, I couldn’t.”

“What does that mean?” Namjoon asks.

“It means that my brain short-circuited, and I couldn’t talk,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon laughs. “It’s like, you fucking found my prostate and decided: ‘okay, that’s mine now’, and just refused to get off it.”

“That…” Namjoon says. “Still doesn’t sound like a complaint.”

Yoongi bursts out laughing, his shoulders shaking. 

Hoseok gasps suddenly, “Oh my god, this is awesome!”

“What?” Namjoon asks.

“This,” Hoseok flails one hand. “This whole thing. I have so many things I wanted to do that I thought I never could, but now…”

“Things like what?” Yoongi asks.

“Like- like,” Hoseok looks for the words. “Like, fucking on stage.”

“Like, in front of an audience?” Yoongi looks at him incredulously.

“How the hell are we gonna do that?” Namjoon adds.

“No, not in front of an audience,” Hoseok explains. He looks so excited, it has Namjoon grinning. “When the place is empty.”

“But those places are never empty,” Yoongi says. “And there are cameras.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Hoseok says. “We’re creative, we’d figure something out.”

“Why do you wanna fuck on stage?” Namjoon asks, genuinely interested.

“Why? Can’t you imagine?” Hoseok asks, eyes wide, looking at them like they're clueless. “Being on stage already feels a little bit like an orgasm, you know, with the adrenaline and the hormones and shit. Add to that having an actual orgasm on stage and bam.”

“Okay, maybe I kind of possibly get it,” Yoongi says.

Namjoon shakes his head, sighing, “This is gonna be crazy, isn’t it?”

Yoongi and Hoseok smirk.

Chapter Text

There’s a knock on Namjoon’s hotel room door.

“Come in,” Namjoon yells. He’s lying on the bed scrolling through Twitter.

“Hey,” Yoongi comes in. “Busy?”

It’s been two weeks since their first time having sex, and so far, nothing else has happened.

It isn’t because they didn’t want to, or at least, Namjoon knows that it’s not that he didn’t want to, but because, in the past two weeks, they’ve been insanely busy. There was no time for that. Not really. The awkwardness is gone, which Namjoon’s really happy about. He was worried that doing what they did would make things worse somehow, but it didn’t. The confusion is gone. They know what page they’re on right now. And yeah, it’s a weird place to be, but at least they know what that place is.

After two weeks though, Namjoon’s getting a little worried again. They haven’t talked about what happened since. Their relationship stayed very much the same. They work well together, as they always have, they talk to each other without any sort of weirdness. There isn’t some burning sexual tension that they need to resolve at every possible opportunity. They’re calm around each other. The only thing that’s really changed is that now they know that there is this option… of sex. That, and now Namjoon masturbates to thoughts of having sex with his two best friends without feeling guilty about it.

So basically, so far, it’s been fine.

But after two weeks of jerking off fantasizing about what they did, two weeks of picturing what they could and would do, two weeks of thinking and imagining and anticipating, two weeks of nothing, Namjoon is starting to… want again. And even though he knows this option of sex exists, he doesn’t really know how to use it, how to… ask for it, which is making him feel a little anxious again. And watching Yoongi step into his hotel room tonight, it seems to Namjoon that he’s feeling the tension too.

“Not busy,” Namjoon answers. “No.”

Yoongi nods, “Right. Good.”

He takes a few steps into the room, and Namjoon places his phone onto the bedside table, sitting up.

“Uhm,” Yoongi starts, and there’s a weird awkward pause where Yoongi swings his arms back and forth. “Long day today.”

Well, at least one of them is actually trying, “Yup.”

“Kinda want to…” Yoongi looks Namjoon in the eye and stops moving. “Unwind.”

There’s silence for a few moments as they look at each other, and Namjoon wonders if it’s weird that just thinking about the prospect of having sex with them again is making blood rush between his legs.

“Where’s Hoseok?” Namjoon asks.

“His room,” Yoongi says, holding eye contact.

Another moment of silence, then Namjoon stands up, grabs Yoongi’s forearm.

“Let’s go,” he says and only has enough time to hear Yoongi snort before Namjoon grabs his keycard and they’re out the door.

They walk the few steps to Hoseok’s room and knock on his door. Yoongi looks at Namjoon the entire time they wait, and Namjoon is reminded of Yoongi watching him and Hoseok kiss for the first time two weeks ago. He feels jittery, excited and a little fucking nervous. Too much anticipation. Too many expectations. He needs to calm down.

Hoseok opens the door, his hair is wet, looking like he just came out of the shower. He stares at them for a moment and apparently, something about them must give away what they came for, because not five seconds later, he’s grabbing both Yoongi and Namjoon, pulling them inside.

Namjoon half stumbles into the room after Yoongi, and Hoseok very quickly locks the door behind them, then presses himself against it.

“Really?” he asks, eyes wide, expectant, excited. “Are we… really?”

Yoongi takes a deep breath, “Do you want to?”

Hoseok blinks a couple times, his mouth hanging open.

“I mean,” he feigns nonchalant, pushing himself off the door. “Honestly, I was just weighing out two options. It’s either jerking off,” Hoseok raises one hand, palm up. “Or… having sex,” he raises the other hand, then keeps raising it, way higher than the first hand. “So… yes, please.”

Namjoon laughs when Hoseok just keeps on raising that hand, and glancing quickly at Yoongi shows Namjoon that he’s silently laughing too, his shoulders shaking.

“Okay,” Yoongi says.

Then they pause again, Hoseok’s hands dropping to his sides. And… they don’t do anything.

They all want to, that much is clear at this point, but some sort of goddamn wall needs to come down.

They’re just standing there, looking at each other and waiting for someone to make the first move.

Namjoon watches Yoongi open his mouth then close it again, he sees Hoseok’s fingers and toes twitch like he really wants to move but won’t. He himself is just standing there completely still. Like three kids in a candy shop waiting for permission to touch.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Namjoon exhales, then tugs Yoongi closer by his biceps and brings their lips together.

The first time they kissed, it was all deep and slow and sensual. This kiss is nothing like that. Yoongi is frozen against him for the first second, then he snaps, his hands wrapping around Namjoon’s neck. And it’s eager, it’s fast and desperate, two weeks’ worth of need showing in every press of their lips. Yoongi makes a little noise in the back of his throat which has Namjoon grabbing his hips and pulling him closer, all the while Yoongi’s fingers dig into the back of Namjoon’s neck, and his hands rest on Namjoon’s back.

Wait. That’s not Yoongi’s hands. He pulls back from Yoongi and registers Hoseok softly rubbing his back.

“Are we doing this here?” Hoseok asks. “In my room?”

“Your room is between mine and Joon’s,” Yoongi says. “Less chances of being heard.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Hoseok says, then pulls Yoongi into a kiss.

Namjoon watches them kiss for a moment, all fast paced and needy, Hoseok’s hands shamelessly coming down to Yoongi’s ass. He pulls away from Yoongi then, a confused look on his face, and brings his hand around, holding a bottle of lube.

Hoseok raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Yoongi says. “I came prepared,” he shrugs. “There are condoms in my other pocket.”

Namjoon bursts out laughing unexpectedly, “Good thinking.”

Yoongi blushes, looks down and laughs too. 

“Come on,” Hoseok smiles, pulling Namjoon towards the bed.

Namjoon’s still laughing weakly when Hoseok pushes him onto the bed, still laughing when he backs up and lays his head on the pillow, still laughing when Hoseok climbs on the bed after him and drops himself onto Namjoon’s chest, knees on either side of Namjoon’s hips. He stops laughing only when Hoseok kisses him, but a smile is still on his face.

Namjoon tangles his fingers in Hoseok’s damp hair and pulls him closer. They barely kiss at all though, just start giggling against each other again, Hoseok’s whole body shaking with held back laughter.

“It’s not even that funny,” Yoongi says, dropping on the bed beside them. “It’s called forward thinking, and you should be grateful.”

It’s honestly not funny, but Hoseok and Namjoon laugh anyway. Yoongi pulls the string of condoms out of his back pocket and throws it at Hoseok, which only makes Yoongi join them in their laughing. Hoseok rolls off Namjoon, lies on his side with his arm falling onto Namjoon’s stomach.

“How in the world am I supposed to get into the mood for fucking when we keep giggling?” Yoongi looks at them pointedly. “So immature.”

He shakes his head seriously, but a moment later, a huge smile forms on his lips, and he starts laughing again.

It’s nervous laughter, and relieved laughter. Distressing, Namjoon guesses. Have to get rid of the weirdness somehow. He actually has tears in his eyes by the time they calm down.

“God, this whole situation is still so weird,” Yoongi shakes his head. “Why am I so giddy about it?”

“Because orgasms,” Hoseok answers. He picks up the strip of condoms and dangles it, and everything feels easier suddenly, simpler somehow. They know exactly what it is that they’re doing, they’ve decided on this together, there’s no reason for the nerves.

“Okay,” Namjoon says, smiling widely, trying to get into… the appropriate mood. “What do you wanna do?”

“Have sex?” Hoseok asks, still playing with the condoms.

Yoongi turns onto his side, propping his head on his hand.

“Yeah, no, I mean,” Namjoon says. “There are lots of things we can do while having sex. What are you in the mood for?”

“Mood,” Yoongi muses. “I don’t think I’ve ever had sex in this kind of mood.”

“Happy?” Namjoon asks, confused.

“No, like…” Yoongi pauses. “Funny.”

“Having sex with us is funny?” Namjoon asks.

“Yes?” Yoongi raises his eyebrows. “That’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing.”

“Then don’t say ‘funny’,” Namjoon says. “Say ‘lighthearted’.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“Lighthearted,” he says. “Now, what’d you wanna do?”

“Umm…” Hoseok looks up, drops the condoms onto the bed. “I’m gonna be honest for a second.”

“Always are,” Namjoon smiles.

“I told you I was going to jerk off, right?” Hoseok says, and they nod. “Well, actually, I- I was going to finger myself.”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows.

“First time?” Yoongi asks.

“Yup,” Hoseok answers.

“Did you buy lube?” Yoongi adds.

“Nope,” Hoseok says. “I found some packets of lube in one of the bathroom drawers.”

“I suppose that’s sufficient,” Yoongi says.

“I wanted to like, get good at it,” Hoseok continues. “So that next time we had sex you could top me. You know… Like you said you would.”

“I specifically remember the words…” Namjoon says. “Ruin and… virgin holes.”

Yoongi cringes, blushing, “You can’t hold what I say during sex against me, that’s not fair.”

“Not holding it against you,” Namjoon says. “It was a very… interesting proposition.”

Yoongi pushes himself onto his hands and knees, moves on the bed to straddle one of Namjoon’s thighs and one of Hoseok’s thighs, propping his palms between their heads.

“You know… I’d make it good for you,” he says, looking at both Namjoon and Hoseok. “I wouldn’t let your first time doing anal be bad.”

“You say that almost like your first time was… bad,” Namjoon says carefully, placing one hand on Yoongi’s hip.

“It wasn’t bad, no,” Yoongi shakes his head, and he looks sincere. “It wasn’t mind-blowing either, we were young and didn’t really know what we were doing, but it wasn’t bad,” he pauses. “Still…”

“What?” Namjoon asks softly.

The corner of Yoongi’s lip turns up, “I’ll make your first time mind-blowing.”

Namjoon smiles, looks to the side and sees Hoseok smiling too.

“Setting expectations quite high there,” Hoseok says, and Namjoon sees his hand traveling up Yoongi’s side.

“I fully intend to meet these expectations,” Yoongi says lowly.

The change of atmosphere hits Namjoon fast and hard, a wave of arousal washing down his body. There’s something strange about it, must be something strange, about how easy it is, how well it seems to work with them.

Namjoon drags his hand up to Yoongi’s neck and slowly brings him in for a kiss. They lock lips once and hold for a few seconds, soft and warm against each other. When Yoongi pulls away, his eyes are still closed, his lips a little pursed. He opens his eyes slowly.

“Still funny?” Namjoon whispers.

Yoongi shakes his head and leans down again. This time, they kiss slowly, their mouths opening, wet lips sliding together. When Yoongi’s tongue touches his, it’s languid, lazy but heated. Yoongi’s hand drags down Namjoon’s front slowly, lightly cupping his growing bulge, and Namjoon grabs Yoongi’s hip, encourages him to grind his groin against Namjoon’s thigh.

“Fuck,” Hoseok exclaims. “That’s hot.”

They pause, smiling into each other. Namjoon keeps his eyes closed, brushing his nose against Yoongi’s. When he feels Yoongi move away, he opens his eyes, finds Yoongi smiling softly at both of them.

“Scoot up the bed a little,” Yoongi says.

Namjoon props up his and Hoseok’s pillows, and they both push themselves up the bed, backs against the headboard.

Yoongi shuffles closer, still straddling both Namjoon and Hoseok. He leans towards Hoseok next, places a hand on his neck and kisses him. Namjoon gently rubs Yoongi’s thigh as they kiss, watches their tongues intertwining with a strange sort of fondness. They look just as good as last time doing this. Better. They look better this time. There’s no hesitation this time.

Their lips stay pressed together for a moment, not moving, then Yoongi pulls back and lays his forehead against Hoseok’s.

“Do you think maybe…” Yoongi swallows harshly, locking his gaze with Hoseok’s, his hand moving down to Hoseok’s clavicle. “Maybe you wouldn’t mind if I finger you?”

Hoseok nods slowly.

“You sure?” Yoongi asks, his fingers tucking below the neck of Hoseok’s shirt.

Hoseok hums in agreement, “Honestly, when I told you about it, I was expecting you’d offer.”

“Sneaky,” Yoongi whispers, smiling.

Hoseok smiles too, “It’s better you do it than me anyway.”

“Why?” Yoongi asks.

“’Cus you actually know what you’re doing,” Hoseok replies.

“I’m sure you’d do just fine on your own,” Yoongi says.

“But why would I want ‘just fine’ when I can have ‘mind-blowing’?” Hoseok smiles wider.

Yoongi smiles. He kisses Hoseok again, a quick press of lips, then pulls back, tugging on the hem of Hoseok’s shirt until Hoseok raises his hands and lets him pull it off.

“Take yours off too,” Yoongi tells Namjoon, then pulls his own shirt over his head.

Namjoon does as he’s told, handing Yoongi his shirt so he could drop it alongside theirs on the chair beside the bed, then reclines back against the headboard. Yoongi leans down and kisses Hoseok again, then lowers, pressing his lips to Hoseok’s neck. Hoseok’s eyes close, fingers tangle softly in Yoongi’s hair as Yoongi continues kissing down his body. He pauses over Hoseok’s nipple, looks up at Hoseok’s still closed eyes, then darts out his tongue and gives Hoseok’s nipple a small lick.

Hoseok doesn’t react much, just opens his eyes, an amused smile on his face.

“Not sensitive?” Yoongi asks.

Hoseok shrugs, and Yoongi licks his nipple again. When Hoseok still doesn’t react, Yoongi bites. Still nothing.

Yoongi hums, then looks at Namjoon, first at his face, then his gaze lowers to Namjoon’s chest.

“What about you?” Yoongi asks.

“Don’t know,” Namjoon answers.

Yoongi squints, braces one hand on Namjoon’s thigh, then rises up, looms over Namjoon for a second.

“May I?” he asks.

“Sure,” Namjoon answers.

Yoongi grabs Namjoon’s chin and lifts his head, then licks a long line down his throat. Namjoon sighs, turning his head towards Hoseok as Yoongi’s lips find his collarbones.

“Come here,” Namjoon tells Hoseok. “Kiss me.”

The eagerness with which Hoseok moves makes Namjoon smile. Their noses bump against each other before their lips connect, and then it’s quick messy kisses, the kind that make Namjoon want to giggle and moan at the same time.

He does moan. Not because of the kiss though, but because all of the sudden there’s a tongue on his body in a place he’s never had a tongue before.

Yoongi’s grinning when Namjoon looks at him.

“Sensitive,” Yoongi whispers then licks Namjoon’s nipple again.

Namjoon’s eyebrows crease. He really didn’t think he’d be affected by it so much, but he can feel every little lick shooting pleasure to his groin. With a hand at the base of Hoseok’s neck, Namjoon brings him into a kiss again, effectively stopping himself from moaning as Yoongi kisses across his chest and licks his other nipple.

It’s almost a relief when Yoongi finally slides lower, and Namjoon can’t help but sigh into Hoseok’s lips. He kisses Hoseok harder, a little desperately, feeling Yoongi lick a stripe down his belly all the way to the waistband of his jeans, deftly unzipping them with his fingers. Namjoon’s hips rise when Yoongi starts pulling on his pants, tugging them and his underwear to the middle of his thighs.

The first touch to his cock has goosebumps spreading all over Namjoon’s back, his breath stuttering, forcing him to break away from Hoseok. Yoongi strokes him with one hand while the other reaches for Hoseok’s pants, trying to unbutton them. Hoseok helps Yoongi, getting the button undone and shoving his pants and underwear down and off his legs.

Yoongi leans back after Hoseok’s underwear hit the floor, resettles on Namjoon and Hoseok’s thighs and strokes both of them, tongue peeking out from between his lips, and god, he looks good like that. His eyes are darting between Hoseok’s cock and Namjoon’s, both hard in his hands. He strokes them slowly, long pulls up to the tip and down to the very base. His strokes are a little faster on Namjoon’s shaft, accommodating for the difference in length between him and Hoseok, but they’re still slow. He’s not jerking them off to make them come, he’s just teasing, playing, enjoying himself.

Even so, Hoseok’s breath hitches every time Yoongi touches the tip of his cock. It’s pretty, the way he reacts so strongly to everything, responsive to the smallest of touches. Namjoon loves that. He wonders if Yoongi does too. Yoongi’s fists twist on their cocks and, while Namjoon doesn’t react to the change, Hoseok gasps, his eyelids falling shut. Namjoon watches Yoongi smile softly up at Hoseok as he continues twisting his fists, and, following an urge, Namjoon gently removes Yoongi’s hand from himself and leans to the side, bracing a palm on Hoseok’s chest and kissing his neck.

The whimper he gets from Hoseok is beautiful. He drags his fingers over Hoseok’s firm stomach, then continues down until his hand bumps into Yoongi’s fist. His gaze drifts to Yoongi then, still stroking Hoseok, watching the two of them like he’s trying to figure them out, like they’re the most fascinating beings he’s ever seen in his life. When Namjoon reaches for Hoseok’s shaft, Yoongi lets his own hand fall away so that Namjoon could replace him. The girth of another person’s cock is still incredibly unfamiliar to him, but not in a bad way. He’s enjoying this new learning experience, this new side of sex, this new side of his friends. He’s enjoying it a lot.

Yoongi switches positions, straddling both of Hoseok’s thighs and scooting back, unzipping his own jeans and pulling his cock out with a sigh, then braces his palms on either side of Hoseok’s hips. Namjoon takes the opportunity to press up harder against Hoseok, rub his length against Hoseok’s thigh and kiss his skin more firmly. He watches himself though, makes sure to not leave marks, they can’t risk the questions. His grip tightens around Hoseok’s shaft, stroking more firmly, but Yoongi’s hand wraps around his, holding it at the base of Hoseok’s length as his tongue peeks out and teases Hoseok’s head.

Hoseok moans, his breath stuttering as Yoongi takes the tip of his cock into his mouth. It’s only the tip, but Hoseok squirms anyway, exhaling harshly, his cheeks flushing a pretty pink. He looks-

“Gorgeous,” Namjoon whispers, the word bringing a blush to his own cheeks.

Hoseok opens his eyes, looking like he’s not entirely sure what to do about the compliment. It makes Namjoon want to apologize, but he doesn’t. He’s not sorry.

Yoongi is looking at him too, another one of those really fond expressions on his face. Maybe this is how Hoseok feels about Namjoon’s compliment, because honestly, Namjoon doesn’t know how to react to the affection in Yoongi’s eyes either.

“Come here,” Yoongi says. “Blow him with me.”

And the moment’s over.

Namjoon kicks his own pants and underwear off, letting them fall to the floor, then leaves a kiss on Hoseok’s collarbone and scoots lower, settling beside Yoongi next to Hoseok’s legs. Yoongi places a palm on Namjoon’s cheek and brings him into a short, soft kiss, then he’s pulling back and looking at Namjoon expectantly.

“What?” Namjoon asks.

“Nervous?” Yoongi asks.

“No,” Namjoon answers, eyebrows creasing. “Why?”

“First time giving a blowjob,” Yoongi says, biting his lower lip.

“Sort of, yeah,” Namjoon asks.

“Sort of?” Yoongi asks.

“Well, I gave like, half a blowjob last time we did this,” Namjoon answers.

“When?” Yoongi asks.

“When I was fingering you,” Namjoon says, and the memory makes him a little warmer.

Yoongi squints for a few seconds, “Ah, yeah, that’s right.”

“You sound disappointed,” Namjoon says, and before Yoongi can answer, he continues. “Did you want to teach me? Nostalgic about how all of this started?”

Yoongi shrugs, smiling, “Maybe a little.”

“A little nostalgic?” Namjoon asks. “Or a little disappointed?”

“A little of both?” Yoongi replies.

Namjoon gently places his palm on Yoongi’s neck, his thumb coming under Yoongi’s chin and pushing his head back.

“Is it because you get off on telling people what to do?” Namjoon asks quietly, gently pressing his lips to Yoongi’s neck. Yoongi doesn’t answer. “Do you like being in control?”

“Yes,” Yoongi whispers, takes hold of Namjoon’s wrist and pulls his hand away from his throat, locking his gaze with Namjoon’s. “Do you?”

There’s a long pause.

“Yes,” Namjoon answers.

It’s quiet after that, and the air between them is kind of electric. When their lips meet, Namjoon is not sure who’s the one who initiated, all he knows is that they kiss so hard it feels like Namjoon’s lips are going to bruise. Namjoon pulls Yoongi closer by the hips, holding him tightly with one hand while the other slides down to wrap around his cock. Yoongi grunts and bites Namjoon’s lower lip, tugging on it for a moment before crashing their lips together once again.

When Namjoon hears Hoseok moan, he has to pull away from Yoongi, has to see what was the reason for that sound, considering that he’s not touching Hoseok, and he knows Yoongi isn’t either. Turns out it’s Hoseok touching himself, jerking his own cock slowly.

“Holy shit,” Hoseok says. “That was so hot.”

Yoongi opens his mouth as if to say something but ends up simply slapping Hoseok’s hand away from his own dick. He pins Hoseok’s wrist to the bed and looks at Namjoon pointedly.  

Namjoon huffs out a laugh, lets go of Yoongi’s dick and bends over Hoseok’s crotch.

“Teach me,” he tells Yoongi.

He thinks about last month when they were in Yoongi’s studio, when Yoongi was teaching Hoseok exactly this, remembers what it was that Yoongi told Hoseok, and before Yoongi actually says anything, he holds up Hoseok’s cock at the base, opens his palm and licks up the underside of Hoseok’s shaft, following the vein there, then twirls his tongue around the tip. Hoseok leaks a lot. And quickly. There’s already a strong salty taste on Namjoon’s tongue. He finds that he doesn’t mind it.

“Looks like someone’s been paying attention,” Yoongi says, smiling.

“I’ve always been a good student,” Namjoon holds back a smile and wraps his lips around Hoseok’s shaft.

“That is true,” Yoongi says.

He leans down beside Namjoon, so close Namjoon can feel his breath on his temple. Yoongi’s fingers thread into his hair and gently apply pressure. Just enough to make Namjoon sink a bit lower, take Hoseok a bit deeper.

“Take more,” Yoongi whispers, drops a chaste kiss on Namjoon’s cheek. “Be good for him.”

Yoongi’s voice is teasing, and Namjoon would smile if his mouth wasn’t so busy. It’s such a weird feeling, his mouth is so… full. He bobs his head up and down a few times, watches his teeth more than anything else.

“Breathe,” Yoongi whispers, and Namjoon takes a deep breath through his nose.

Hoseok smells mostly like soap and a little like Hoseok. He’s also quite a bit softer than Namjoon expected. Like, his shaft is hard in Namjoon’s hand, but Namjoon’s lips are dragging over such soft, smooth skin. It’s mesmerizing, fascinating, so different than the softness he’s used to with women.  

He’s going really slowly. He knows he is, but he’s honestly not sure how to go any faster. He still has a hell of a lot to learn. Yoongi’s fingers are gently massaging his scalp though, and Hoseok is panting above him, so he assumes he’s not doing too bad.

“Are you using your tongue too?” Yoongi asks. No, he isn’t.

He pauses for a moment, only the head of Hoseok’s cock in his mouth, and lets his tongue drag over Hoseok’s slit. Hoseok gasps softly, and Namjoon resists the urge to reach between his legs and stroke himself.

“Good,” Yoongi says, and then he’s removing Namjoon’s hand from the base of Hoseok’s shaft, bending down and licking the side of Hoseok’s cock.

Namjoon keeps his eyes open and watches Yoongi gently kissing Hoseok’s length. When Yoongi’s lips touch Hoseok’s balls, Namjoon tries to take Hoseok deeper. He’s surprised when he feels Hoseok so close to his throat and has to pull back, breathing deeply through his nose.

“Don’t take too much,” Yoongi says, then sucks one of Hoseok’s balls into his mouth.

Namjoon stays persistent and tries again, lowering his head, and okay, gag reflex. He pulls up and off Hoseok’s cock, inhaling sharply. Yoongi looks at him.

“I have a whole new appreciation for what you can do,” Namjoon says.

Yoongi smiles widely, “Not as easy as it looks, is it?”

“You’re incredible,” Namjoon says and really means it.

“You’ll get there,” Yoongi waves him off, pretending not to blush.

Namjoon takes Hoseok back into his mouth. He doesn’t try to take too much this time, simply settles for bobbing his head up and down, trying to get used to this new sensation. Sucking dick is a lot more difficult than he initially thought, his mouth is not used to being so… open and… full.

“How are you doing up there?” Yoongi asks, and Namjoon looks up. Even that’s hard, looking up makes it more difficult to concentrate. But it’s worth it. Hoseok… Hoseok is flushed, his cheeks pink, looking kind of out of it.

“I am…” he starts, looking at them. “I feel so… spoilt.”

Namjoon pulls off Hoseok’s cock, unable to stop the smile from forming on his lips.

“It only gets better from here,” Yoongi scoots back and off Hoseok’s legs. “Spread your legs?”

Hoseok takes a deep breath, scoots forward on the bed and does as Yoongi says. Yoongi crawls between Hoseok’s thighs, giving one of them a kiss before lowering it, still bent, to the bed. Namjoon braces himself on that thigh to have a better view of what Yoongi will be doing, but when he notices the discomfort on Hoseok’s face, he rises up, cups Hoseok’s cheek and kisses him.

Namjoon manages to distract Hoseok for a moment, but when he pulls back and Hoseok opens his eyes, the uneasiness is still there. A look towards Yoongi tells Namjoon that Yoongi sees it on Hoseok as well.

“Hey,” Yoongi says softly, rising closer to the two of them, running his fingers through Hoseok’s hair. “If you don’t want to do this, it’s totally fine,” he says, his eyes soft. “I would love to have one of you, or both of you, top me. Or we could just suck each other off. If you’re not ready for this today, it’s okay.”

“No, god, I want to,” Hoseok blushes. “It just feels a little more exposing than I expected, that’s all.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi scrunches up his nose. “You get used to it.”

Namjoon feels like he should say something, like it shouldn’t be only Yoongi comforting Hoseok, but he doesn’t really think he can add anything helpful. He’s had his legs spread like that before with that one girl, and he’s felt that discomfort, but he himself never learned to get over that feeling of exposure. He never had the chance to do it again, wasn’t interested in doing it again. So, instead of saying anything, he runs his fingers alongside Yoongi’s over Hoseok’s scalp.

A moment passes and Yoongi removes his hand from Hoseok’s hair, dragging it down Hoseok’s chest to wrap around Hoseok’s shaft. Hoseok’s eyes fall closed, and he seems a little better, the crease between his eyebrows smoothing out. Namjoon watches with utmost fascination as Yoongi’s fingers leave Hoseok’s length, run over Hoseok’s balls then inch lower.

The crease between Hoseok’s eyebrows reappears then, and he exhales harshly. Yoongi is watching Hoseok same as Namjoon is, his eyes seemingly scanning Hoseok’s body.

“Okay?” Yoongi asks.

“Yeah,” Hoseok breathes, his eyes opening, looking down at Yoongi. “Weird to have someone touch there.”

“You have been in this position before,” Yoongi says.

Your position, yeah,” Hoseok’s eyes close again. There’s a bit more confidence in his voice, and Namjoon can’t help but smile. He continues running his fingers through Hoseok’s hair, resists the urge to tell him he’s doing a good job.

“Exactly,” Yoongi says. He looks pointedly at Namjoon, and Namjoon follows Yoongi’s gaze to the lube bottle. “Think of the girls you’ve done this to,” he says while Namjoon lets go of Hoseok’s hair and picks up the small bottle off the sheets. “Think of how good you made them feel,” Namjoon opens the bottle as quietly as he can while Yoongi raises one of his hands, palm up, the other still between Hoseok’s legs, rubbing his hole gently. “How you teased them just right,” Namjoon pours a little lube onto Yoongi’s fingers. “Made them wet for you,” Yoongi’s lubed hand disappears between Hoseok’s legs, the other one coming up to brace on Hoseok’s thigh. Namjoon leans towards Yoongi to watch the way his wet finger teases Hoseok’s hole. “Think of your cock sliding deep inside them,” Yoongi pushes his finger in, and Hoseok gasps. “Finding all the little spots that made them feel good.”

“Wow,” Hoseok breathes, goosebumps breaking out on his skin.

“Yeah,” Yoongi whispers, finger pushing in all the way. “I’m gonna do that to you,” he says, pulls his finger out and pushes back in. “I’m gonna make you feel that good,” Namjoon wraps his fingers around his own length and watches Yoongi pick up the speed. “Better. I’m gonna make you feel better,” Hoseok’s mouth is slack, fingers clenching in the sheets, precome steadily leaking onto his stomach. “I’m gonna open you up on my fingers,” Yoongi places a second finger at Hoseok’s hole. “Get you nice and ready,” he pushes in with the second finger, and Hoseok hisses. “Then I’ll slide my cock into you,” Yoongi wraps his fingers around Hoseok’s shaft. “I’ll fuck you slowly… gently,” Namjoon straightens up and replaces Yoongi’s hand on Hoseok’s cock, stroking him lightly. “I’ll fuck you like that until you beg me to go faster, to fuck you harder, deeper.”

“Please,” Hoseok whispers, Yoongi’s fingers pushing in and out of him.

“Please what?” Yoongi asks.

“I don’t know,” Hoseok exhales, his eyes fluttering open.

“Feels good?” Yoongi asks, smiling. Hoseok nods frantically. “And I haven’t even touched your prostate yet.”

Hoseok whimpers, head falling back as Yoongi fingers him slightly harder.

“God, he looks good,” Namjoon whispers, tightening his fingers around Hoseok and stroking just a bit faster.

“Yeah,” Yoongi looks at Namjoon. He’s flushed too, a beautiful rosy color on his cheeks. Namjoon loves how much Yoongi is clearly enjoying this. His cock is upright, hanging out of his jeans, dark pink at the tip, so incredibly neglected. Namjoon wants to touch him so badly, wants to take Yoongi’s cock into his mouth, wants to be inside Yoongi again. But he doesn’t want to interfere. Today’s about Hoseok, Namjoon doesn’t mind that, he wants Hoseok’s first time to be amazing. He just wishes he could do more, contribute more to how good Hoseok is feeling. For now, he tightens his fist around Hoseok’s cock.

Hoseok lets out a breathy moan, and Yoongi fingers him faster, pulling more moans out of him. Namjoon matches the speed of his stroking to the speed of Yoongi’s fingers, watches Hoseok squirm, whimper. God, he really does look good like that. Namjoon turns to Yoongi then, and finds Yoongi already watching at him, eyes on his lips, and who the hell is Namjoon to refuse him?

Their lips meet, and they kiss slowly, too focused on stroking and fingering Hoseok to really put the effort into the kiss. But that’s okay. Namjoon’s unoccupied palm wraps around Yoongi’s shaft, making Yoongi jerk and, in turn, making Hoseok gasp.

“Too sensitive,” Yoongi says. Namjoon stops stroking Hoseok for a moment and focuses on loosely stroking Yoongi.

“We’ve been neglecting you,” Namjoon whispers.

Yoongi looks down at Namjoon’s crotch, still working his fingers into Hoseok, “You don’t seem much better.”

“Just give me like, half a second,” Hoseok mumbles. “I’ll suck both your dicks.”

Yoongi chuckles, and Namjoon jerks off Yoongi and Hoseok at the same time.

“Maybe next time,” Yoongi says. “Tonight, we’re gonna pop that cherry.”

Hoseok burst out laughing, and then immediately starts moaning, a shocked expression on his face.

Yoongi laughs, “He just clenched real hard on me.”

Whoa,” Hoseok pants for a second. “Whoa.”

“Feels good though, right?” Yoongi asks, gently removes Namjoon’s hand from his cock, and Namjoon goes back to focusing on making Hoseok feel good with his hand.

“I think so?” Hoseok says, calming down. “It kinda hurts.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi nods, moves his fingers shallowly inside Hoseok. “It doesn’t hurt too bad though. At least, it shouldn’t at this point.”

“No, not too bad,” Hoseok pauses. “You like it when it hurts, don’t you?”

“An acquired taste,” Yoongi says.

“Yeah, you didn’t let me prep you too much last time,” Namjoon remembers.

“I like the pain,” Yoongi shrugs, looks at Hoseok. “Try to ride my fingers a little bit.”

Hoseok starts rocking his body back and forth lightly, Yoongi’s fingers dragging inside him.

“Did you like the pain from the very beginning?” Hoseok asks. “Or was it really an acquired taste?”

Yoongi hums, looking up for a moment.

“I didn’t like it as much in the beginning,” he says. He brings his free hand to Namjoon’s cock, jerks him slowly, and Namjoon feels warmth spread in the pit of his belly. “But I didn’t really mind it either,” he pauses. “Then again, I had been fingering myself for months before I actually got fucked for the first time, so the pain wasn’t… that new to me.”

“When did you realize you really liked it then?” Namjoon asks, taking his hand off Hoseok, and wrapping both his palms around Yoongi’s on his shaft, tightening Yoongi’s grip.

“2014,” Yoongi answers without missing a beat. “When I met Nate,” he looks at Hoseok. “Think you’re ready for the third finger?”

“Do I have to?” Hoseok asks.

“No,” Yoongi answers calmly. “But if you want it to hurt less later, then you should.”

Hoseok sighs deeply, “Okay.”

“Hand me the lube?” Yoongi asks Namjoon, letting go of Namjoon’s cock, and Namjoon hands it to him.

Yoongi pulls his fingers out of Hoseok and pours a bit more lube onto them, then places three fingers right at Hoseok’s hole. Hoseok’s eyes clench in anticipation, his fingers gripping the sheets, and, while Yoongi looks very fondly at him, he does nothing, doesn’t move. Hoseok opens one eye to glance at Yoongi, a question written on his face.

You do it,” Yoongi says. “Rock onto them, take them at your pace.”

Hoseok looks like he’s about to protest, but then just shakes his head and starts moving his hips again. He does it a lot quicker than Namjoon expected, getting all three fingers to breach him right away. And yeah, he hisses, but he doesn’t stop. There’s determination in the crease of his forehead. He’s taking it so well. 

“What happened with you and Nate?” Namjoon asks. “I don’t think you ever actually told me.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Hoseok adds, taking Yoongi’s fingers deeper, letting out little breathy grunts.

“Nate and I…” Yoongi muses. “It was the last night of filming American Hustle Life. It was late. All of you guys went out, but I was tired so I stayed, planned on going to sleep early.”

“I remember,” Namjoon says, grabbing his own cock and lightly jerking himself off.

“Yeah, and Nate was there, in his room, talking to someone on the phone,” Yoongi continues. “Then he came out into the living room and realized that I was still there, asked me if I wanted to go out with him somewhere, and I told him no, so, he offered to stay with me and watch something on TV,” Yoongi pauses. “One thing led to another…”

He trails off after that, starts moving his fingers in and out of Hoseok again, helping get them in deeper. Hoseok, being distracted by Yoongi’s story, suddenly seems to remember that there are three fingers currently in his ass, brings a hand to his own cock and jerks himself off slowly, fucking himself harder onto Yoongi’s fingers. He’s getting used to the feeling, Namjoon can tell. His breathing is evening out and eyelids are fluttering.

“I’ve never met anyone…” Yoongi starts. “And like, not to be… whatever, but, I’ve never met anyone with a dick that big. That is until-“ he looks at Namjoon’s cock pointedly, “-Well, who the fuck knew you were packing?”

“Right?” Hoseok agrees, and Namjoon can’t stop the warmness rising to his cheeks.

“So, yeah, we were on the couch, making out,” Yoongi says. “And then he pulled out his dick, and I had exactly one and a half heart attacks-“

Hoseok snorts, and hell, this is probably not the right situation for laughing, but Namjoon can’t help but let out a few breathy laughs of his own. Yoongi also smiles. Hoseok is proper riding Yoongi’s fingers now, all the way in, all the way out.

“And like…” Yoongi sighs. “The level of pain was different. You know, once I actually managed to get him in.”

“You couldn’t get him in?” Hoseok asks.

“Nope,” Yoongi shakes his head. “He was too big. My body was just refusing to cooperate.”

“So how…?” Namjoon asks.

“He turned me over,” Yoongi says, his fingers pause for a second inside Hoseok, then start thrusting into him harder. Hoseok gasps, bites his lower lip and pushes against Yoongi. “Rimmed and fingered me until I came,” Yoongi continues. “And at that point, my body was so… sluggish that it just stopped clenching, stopped resisting. It still hurt. A lot. But it felt so good I couldn’t… not go back to him. I learned to enjoy the pain,” he stops moving his fingers and pulls them out. “I think you’re ready.”

“I am?” Hoseok asks. He lights up with excitement, bracing his forearms on the bed.

“Are you?” Yoongi counters. He turns to Namjoon then, grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him into a hard kiss. Namjoon lets go of his cock and wraps his palms around Yoongi’s neck, pulling him closer, parting Yoongi’s lips with his own. Their tongues tangle, and Yoongi’s fingers drag down Namjoon’s back, pulling him closer. After a moment, Yoongi lets go and licks his lips.

“I’m gonna fuck him,” he whispers against Namjoon’s lips. “But I want you to fuck me too.”

“At the same time?” Namjoon asks, confused.

“At the same time,” Yoongi nods, then swallows and shakes his head. “First, he’ll get used to it, and then you’ll fuck me.”

Namjoon looks at Hoseok. He’s raised himself off the bed and onto his knees, shuffling closer to them.

“Is that okay with you?” Namjoon asks him.

“Is that actually a question?” Hoseok shoots back, then his eyebrows crease. “My butt feels empty.”

Yoongi bursts out laughing, “God, I love you.”

Hoseok blushes, and Namjoon joins Yoongi in laughing.

“Shut up,” Hoseok smiles, still blushing.

He shoves Yoongi’s chest playfully, and Yoongi falls back onto the bed, letting Hoseok finally tug his jeans off his legs. Yoongi grabs Hoseok by the hips then, pulling him onto his lap and kissing him. Namjoon is still giggling when he picks up the lube and condoms. He settles on his knees behind Yoongi, giving Yoongi’s back some support, then opens up the condom and reaches between Hoseok and Yoongi’s bodies to roll it down Yoongi’s length.

The smile on Hoseok’s face makes Namjoon so incredibly happy. He looks so excited about what’s about to happen, so eager, not a hint of nerves left. Yoongi turns his head back to look at Namjoon, and his smile is so big it rivals Hoseok’s. When Namjoon drops a small kiss on Yoongi’s temple, Yoongi blushes and turns back to Hoseok.

“Ready?” Yoongi asks as he pours some lube onto himself, dropping the bottle beside them.

Hoseok bounces up and down with excitement a couple times, hands braced on Yoongi’s shoulders.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Yoongi laughs. He grabs his shaft at the very base and positions it at Hoseok’s hole, and before Hoseok can start moving-

“Wait,” Namjoon says. He rises up on his knees and lays his palm on Hoseok’s cheek, pulling him into a soft kiss right above Yoongi’s shoulder. The kisses are as calming as Namjoon can make them, just their lips pushing lightly against one another.

“So sweet,” Yoongi comments as they separate, turning to Namjoon. “Why are you more nervous than him?”

“It’s a-“ Namjoon pauses with his mouth open, then lowers his voice and averts his eyes. “Special moment.”

Hoseok smiles softly.

“How can you be so cute but fuck so hard?” Yoongi asks, a teasing smile on his face.

Namjoon blushes, “Fuck off.”

“Aish,” Yoongi exclaims. “Be respectful.”

“Fuck off, please,” Namjoon says.

“Much better,” Yoongi nods once.

He repositions the tip of his cock at Hoseok’s hole and drags it back and forth a few times. Hoseok’s eyes close, and he exhales softly.

“That feels nice,” he breathes.

“Good,” Yoongi whispers. “Go slow, breathe deep and… let gravity do its thing.”

Hoseok nods and pushes himself down. The tip goes in a lot faster than Namjoon expected, and Hoseok looks totally fine about it, breathing softly, the only indication of pain is his fingers twitching on Yoongi’s shoulders. Hoseok’s eyes glaze over very quickly though, and he looks from side to side, a little smile pulling at the corners of his lips. Yoongi is actually the one who reacts strongly, grunting harshly, squeezing Hoseok’s hip with one hand, the other still at the base of his shaft.

“Fuck,” Yoongi exclaims quietly.

Namjoon raises his hands to Yoongi’s biceps, rubs them up and down, squeezes them, trying to distract him a bit. There’s a weirdly big smile on Hoseok’s face now though. He seriously seems to be on the verge of bursting out laughing.

“I can’t stop squeezing him,” Hoseok whispers, then snorts and actually starts laughing.

“Oh, fucking shit,” Yoongi’s head falls on Hoseok’s chest, and his body shakes with silent laughter.

“Try to relax?” Namjoon says, smiling.

“I’m trying,” Hoseok replies, giggling. “Laughing is making it worse. My butt is like… spasming.”

Yoongi laughs harder, “Stop making me laugh.”

“Sorry,” Hoseok says, but he’s still laughing. He takes one deep breath and nods, “Okay. Okay, okay.”

He takes another deep breath and, still giggling, pushes himself farther down. Yoongi grunts again, and Hoseok moans, the laughter dying out but the smile staying, then he looks up, seems to stop breathing for a second.

“How is it?” Namjoon asks, getting concerned.

“Feels so… big,” Hoseok breathes out.

“You’re almost halfway,” Yoongi says.

“Not even halfway?” Hoseok asks, eyes wide. “Wow.”

“Don’t- don’t take everything right away,” Yoongi says, bringing both hands to Hoseok’s hips. “Start going like, up and down.”

“Okay,” Hoseok nods and does just that. “Whoa,” he exclaims, pulling up to just the tip. “That feels fucking weird.”

“So dramatic,” Yoongi chokes out, giving Hoseok’s butt a playful slap.

Hoseok giggles again and starts lifting himself up and down. A little moan leaves his lips, his fingers squeezing Yoongi’s shoulders again. Each time he goes down, he’s lowering himself farther and farther on Yoongi’s cock, and Namjoon isn’t even sure he notices himself doing it. He must though. It must feel different. Bigger, maybe. Deeper.

While Hoseok is steadily starting to moan louder, Yoongi is just exhaling heavily every few moments, and otherwise, he’s completely quiet. His gaze is fixed on Hoseok. Namjoon can understand that. Hoseok is really taking to it, his eyes are closed, lips parted, a beautiful pink color covering his cheeks. His cock is hard, glistening at the tip, his thighs and biceps straining with every push and pull.  

“Damn,” Namjoon whispers, wrapping a hand around his own cock and jerking off slowly, his fist bumping into Yoongi’s back on every upstroke.

“Yeah,” Yoongi turns his head back and looks at Namjoon with absolute understanding.

“What?” Hoseok asks softly.

“You’re- uh,” Namjoon swallows, squeezes his cock harder. “You’re so- you’re doing so good.”

Hoseok opens his eyes then, saying nothing.

“Almost all the way now,” Yoongi says.

“It feels…” Hoseok starts, exhales. “Good.”

Namjoon gently runs his fingers through Hoseok’s hair, Hoseok pushing into his touch.

“It can feel even better,” Yoongi says.

There’s silence for a moment, Hoseok finally lowering himself fully onto Yoongi’s cock.

“Make me feel even better,” Hoseok whispers, and Namjoon jerks himself off harder.

Yoongi leans back on Namjoon, really putting his weight into it, then bends his legs, bracing his feet on the bed, parting Hoseok’s thighs farther. Both of his arms wrap around Hoseok’s middle, and he thrusts up, making Hoseok gasp and fall forward, his palms changing position from Yoongi’s shoulders to Namjoon’s biceps, and Namjoon can do nothing but lean forward and kiss him.

It’s hard to kiss when Hoseok keeps moaning, but Namjoon can tell he’s doing his best.

“Come on,” Yoongi mumbles. “Where is it?”

Oh. Prostate. Hoseok gasps all of the sudden. Hard. His eyes widen, fingernails dig into Namjoon’s biceps, and he stops breathing, going rigid.

“Seok?” Yoongi asks, thrusting up. Hoseok doesn’t answer.

“Wait,” Namjoon says, placing a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder. “Stop.”

Yoongi stops moving.

“Breathe,” Namjoon tells Hoseok, running his fingers through Hoseok’s hair.

Hoseok gasps, whispers, “What the fuck was that?”

“Prostate,” Yoongi says, breathing heavily.

“Oh,” Hoseok says.

“Oh?” Yoongi asks. “Did it… not feel good?”

“Umm… It was like, really good,” Hoseok says, though it sounds a bit like a question. “Like, too good. Like, it hurt.”

“Ah,” Yoongi exhales, completely still. “But, before, there was no pain.”

“No,” Hoseok says, looking at Namjoon, a little scared.  

“Okay,” Yoongi says carefully, he slowly starts lifting his hips again. “How about now?”

“Good,” Hoseok answers, then he moans quietly, eyes rolling back.

“And now?” Yoongi asks again.

Hoseok moans loudly in response.

“Okay,” Yoongi breathes. “Okay. God, you scared me.”

“What-“ Namjoon tries.

“I think…” Yoongi starts, letting his head fall back on Namjoon. “One of my old friends told me once that he doesn’t let people top him very often because he has a really, really sensitive prostate, and people don’t seem to understand when he asks them to... not ram into it,” he thrusts into Hoseok a bit harder. “He said that he loves bottoming, but he only ever does it with people he’s serious with, with people he really trusts,” Hoseok moans lowly, mouth agape, his hold tight on Namjoon’s biceps. “So, I think this might be it, Seokie might just be really sensitive there.”

“Fuck,” Hoseok’s voice breaks. “Fuck, so good. You fuck me so good.”

Namjoon’s not sure Hoseok is even listening.

“So, I’m just… just touching it a little,” Yoongi says, thrusting harder now. “Just going right next to it.”

“Oh my god,” Hoseok exclaims, smiling. “I can’t believe I just said that. Oh, fuck, you fuck me so good.”

Yeah, not listening. Yoongi laughs breathily.

“God, if you could see yourself,” Yoongi tells Hoseok.

Hoseok smiles wider, bounces up and down on Yoongi’s hips. He takes one hand off Namjoon and reaches down to jerk himself off, but Yoongi stops him.

“Don’t,” Yoongi says. “Do you like how this feels?”

“So much,” Hoseok answers. “Fucking wow.”

“Then don’t touch yourself,” Yoongi says. “Enjoy this,” he looks back at Namjoon, panting hard, eyes locking with Namjoon’s. “Now.”

“What?” Namjoon asks.

Yoongi rolls his eyes, “Fuck me… now.”

When Yoongi’s hips stop moving, Hoseok whimpers, bouncing up and down harder.

“Move back,” Yoongi tells Namjoon.

Confused as Namjoon is, he does as Yoongi says. Yoongi lies down, pulling Hoseok closer to him, and with a strength Namjoon didn’t realize Yoongi had, he rolls the two of them to the side, placing Hoseok onto his back and kneeling between Hoseok’s legs, cock still inside.

“Since when are you so strong?” Hoseok asks. Namjoon grabs the lube and condoms.

“I’m not,” Yoongi says. “I think I just broke my back.”

“Oh, cool,” Hoseok nods. “Can you please keep fucking me?”

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” Yoongi teases, rolling his hips slightly. Namjoon starts moving behind Yoongi, but stops, can’t help but watch them.

“I just really like saying it,” Hoseok exclaims, looking at both of them. “I. Am. Getting fucked. Fuck me.”

Yoongi shakes his head, laughing, “Shut up.”

Hoseok laughs too, and they’re both smiling wide when Namjoon finally settles behind Yoongi.

“You’re both ridiculous,” Namjoon says.

The whole situation is ridiculous actually, Namjoon shakes his head to himself.

“How do you want to do this?” Namjoon asks, placing the lube and condoms beside himself and holding Yoongi’s hips.

Yoongi leans back against him, and over his shoulder, Namjoon can see Hoseok gently rocking back and forth on Yoongi’s cock. Turning his head, Yoongi drops a kiss on Namjoon’s cheek, and Namjoon turns just slightly to lock their lips together. They start kissing, and then kind of don’t stop. Namjoon brings a hand up to the side of Yoongi’s neck, and Yoongi slips his fingers into Namjoon’s hair, both tugging each other closer, making everything harder, more passionate, more powerful.

“Fuck, you are hot together,” Hoseok says, and Namjoon hears him perfectly well, but he doesn’t stop kissing Yoongi.

It’s weirdly desperate. Namjoon hadn’t realized he needed that.

They’re both out of breath when they finally separate, pressing their foreheads together.

“Fuck,” Yoongi whispers. “I didn’t know how much I wanted that.”

“Me neither,” Namjoon says, brushing his nose against Yoongi’s.

“Just do a couple fingers,” Yoongi says against his lips. “Don’t get me off on it. It’s only for the stretch, only to make it easier for you to get in me.”

Namjoon nods. He doesn’t want to move away, but he does it anyway, grabbing the lube bottle. Yoongi watches him coat his fingers in lube, and when Namjoon leans back towards him, their lips briefly lock together again. Namjoon presses a delicate kiss to the back of Yoongi’s neck and parts his ass cheeks with his dry hand. He rubs Yoongi’s hole with his dry middle finger first, not wanting to catch him off guard with the lube, and Yoongi pushes back onto him, then rolls his hips forward again, making Hoseok moan.

It’s like dominoes. Namjoon slides one finger into Yoongi, and When Yoongi pushes against him, it’s Hoseok who moans. It makes Namjoon harder, more desperate, the need to fuck finally catching up to him. He grabs Yoongi’s hip with his free hand, slides another finger deep into Yoongi and moves Yoongi’s hips back and forth. Yoongi moans. Hoseok moans. And even though it’s not Namjoon who’s inside Hoseok, it almost feels like it. It feels like Namjoon is fucking both of them.

“Are you good?” He asks Yoongi, kissing the back of his neck again, fucking him deep with his two fingers.  

Yoongi inhales harshly, “Fuck, yeah. Give me more.”

“Already?” Namjoon asks.

“Yes,” Yoongi answers.

“Does it hurt?” Namjoon twists his fingers, making Yoongi hiss.

“Hurts so good,” Yoongi chokes out.

He fingers Yoongi just a little longer with two fingers, twisting them, parting them. As much as Yoongi says he likes the pain, Namjoon doesn’t know how much pain that is, and the last thing he’d ever want to do is hurt him. Well, hurt him too much. It’s not until Yoongi is pushing back, riding his fingers, him and Hoseok both whimpering, that Namjoon slides the third finger into him.

He’s so soft on the inside, so warm, opens up so prettily on Namjoon’s fingers. He’s so good for Namjoon. Good for both of them.

“I’m ready,” Yoongi says.

“Are you sure?” Namjoon twists all three fingers inside him.

“Joon, I was ready one finger ago,” Yoongi says. “Come on already.”

“Okay, okay,” Namjoon smiles. “You’re so cute when you’re eager.”

“Fuck off,” Yoongi say, and Namjoon can hear the smile in his voice.

He lays a palm on Yoongi’s upper back and pushes him down, closer to Hoseok, and Yoongi grabs both of Hoseok’s thighs, pushing his legs up and apart. Namjoon picks up a condom, opens the packet with his teeth and rolls it onto his cock.

“If you could see how excited he looks,” Hoseok giggles.

“Shut up!” Yoongi exclaims, smacking Hoseok’s thigh.

Hoseok laughs, slapping Yoongi’s ass.

“Did you just spank me?” Yoongi asks, disbelief in his voice.

There’s a moment of quiet while Namjoon shuffles closer to Yoongi.

“Was it bad?” Hoseok asks.

“I mean I-“ Yoongi stammers. “I didn’t hate it.”

Namjoon laughs silently.

“He’s blushing,” Hoseok laughs.

“Oh, fuck you,” Yoongi says.

“You are!” Hoseok exclaims.

Yoongi laughs, shaking where Namjoon places a hand on his shoulder, fitting his cock between Yoongi’s ass cheeks.

“See, this is what I meant when I said having sex with you is funny,” Yoongi says.

Namjoon shakes his head, grinding against Yoongi’s hole, “Ridiculous.”

“Shut up,” Yoongi says, pushes back into Namjoon’s hips. “Just- shut up and fuck me.”

“Anything you want, hyung,” Namjoon says and finally pushes the tip of his cock inside.

Yoongi is still for a second, a loud grunt the only noise he makes.

“Oh, shit, I’m gonna come so fast,” Yoongi chokes out. “Oh, fuck.”

He pushes back against Namjoon, taking him deeper, and Namjoon ends up holding him down, stopping him from taking too much too fast, from hurting himself too much.

“No, no, let me take it,” Yoongi breathes, reaching one hand back to pull at Namjoon’s hip.

Placing a kiss on Yoongi’s back, Namjoon releases his hold and lets Yoongi pull him all the way in. Namjoon’s not sure how Yoongi is doing it, not now, not after he’s seen the amount of effort it took for Hoseok to take Yoongi.

“You’re incredible,” Namjoon breathes, a bit overwhelmed by the tightness, by the heat, overwhelmed by Yoongi.

“Thanks,” Yoongi whispers, clenching.

“Are you okay?” Hoseok asks.

“Yeah, yeah,” Yoongi answers. “It’s just a lot,” he whimpers. “I’ve always wanted to do this.”

Namjoon smiles, bending down and bracing his hands beside Yoongi’s on the bed. His front comes flush with Yoongi’s back and he rolls his hips softly, dragging his cock inside Yoongi.

“Oh… my…” Yoongi exhales. “Goddamn.”

Yoongi starts moving too, hips going forward and back. They go slow but persistent, Hoseok starting to move with them, pulling Yoongi onto him repeatedly. Hoseok looks like he’s really getting into it too. His eyes open and lock with Namjoon’s, tongue sweeping over his lips.

“It is good?” Yoongi asks, and Namjoon knows the question is directed at Hoseok. “You’re not hurting, are you?”

“No, it feels really good,” Hoseok answers. “So fucking good,” he adds. “Can you fuck me harder though?”

“Yeah?” Yoongi asks.

“Please,” Hoseok whispers, and the way he’s looking at Namjoon is… is… Namjoon snaps his hips forward, jerking Yoongi forward with him. Yoongi and Hoseok moan in tandem, and Namjoon feels… in control. He pulls his cock halfway out and pushes back in, gets them both moaning again.

“That’s it,” Namjoon whispers and thrusts forward again.

Yoongi buries his face in Hoseok’s neck, whimpering, and Hoseok hugs Yoongi closer, his lips falling open. He looks like he’s trying to moan, but his voice is cutting off on every exhale. Namjoon runs a hand over Hoseok’s hair, moving it away from his forehead. He wants to kiss Hoseok so bad.

“That’s it,” Namjoon repeats. “So good for me.”

“So good for you,” Hoseok whispers, eyes rolling back.

“Yoongi?” Namjoon calls. “Are you okay?”  

Yoongi whimpers loudly in response.

“Too much?” Namjoon asks.

“No. Don’t stop,” Yoongi exclaims. “Harder.”

And Namjoon listens, thrusting harder, hips slapping against Yoongi’s ass. Hoseok cries out, looking up at the ceiling, and Yoongi pushes himself off Hoseok’s neck, gasping. Namjoon wants to see him. Why the hell does he always end up behind Yoongi? Hoseok cups Yoongi’s cheek and brings him in for a kiss.

“Fuck,” Namjoon exclaims, his arms burning from holding himself up. He angles his hips.

Finding Yoongi’s prostate takes him no time, and Yoongi is shoving his face into Hoseok’s neck again, whimpering so brokenly it sounds like he’s in pain.

“I think I’m gonna come,” Hoseok whispers all of the sudden.

Yoongi pushes himself up again. He grabs Namjoon’s hip and slows him down, then starts moving his own hips. He’s trying to get the right angle for Hoseok, Namjoon can tell, and when Hoseok reaches a hand between their bodies, probably to jerk himself off, Yoongi grabs his wrist and pins it to the bed.

It’s so easy to tell when Yoongi finally gets the angle right. Hoseok gasps and stops breathing.

“Hurts or good?” Yoongi chokes out.

“Good, good, good,” Hoseok repeats urgently. “I’m gonna come. Hyung, I’m gonna come.”

Hoseok wiggles his wrist under Yoongi’s grip.

“Hyung,” he whines, gasping.

“Just from this,” Yoongi whispers. “You can do it.”

“I can’t,” Hoseok whispers.

“Yes, you can,” Yoongi argues, thrusting harder.

God, he’s so strong. Namjoon doesn’t know where he finds it in himself. He was breaking apart just a second ago, but now, somehow, he has Hoseok on the verge of breaking apart too. 

Hoseok’s eyes widen, eyebrows shoot up, his breath stutters, and suddenly his eyes shut tight, so tight, and he’s coming. He’s silent for the first few moments, and then he’s crying out, voice breaking, nails raking down Yoongi’s back.

Yoongi doesn’t stop fucking him, going just as hard, just as fast, he only stops when Hoseok’s grip on his back slackens. When Hoseok whimpers, Yoongi pulls out, immediately pushes himself back onto Namjoon.

“Don’t fucking stop!” Yoongi exclaims. “I’m so fucking close too.”

And fuck, Namjoon is right there with him.

He thrusts into Yoongi again, as hard as he can, but his biceps are absolutely on fire, and he can’t. Can’t give it to Yoongi the way he needs it. So, he pulls his cock out of Yoongi as fast as he can, and Yoongi only has enough time to whimper before Namjoon is turning him over onto his back, dropping him right beside Hoseok. He pushes Yoongi’s legs apart and sinks right back into him, all the way, thrusting shallowly.

Yoongi gasps, tosses his head from side to side and doesn’t complain. Namjoon pulls the dirty condom off Yoongi as quickly as possible, throws it aside without thinking, takes Yoongi’s wrist and drags it to Yoongi’s cock. It takes Yoongi a moment, but he catches up, his fingers wrapping around his own shaft. His grip is weak, but when Namjoon picks up the speed, working up to the power he was fucking him with before, Yoongi’s fingers tighten around himself.

Namjoon’s fingers are digging too hard into Yoongi’s thighs, way too hard, but Yoongi is moaning so loud, and he looks so good, so close, fucked out and asking for more. His forehead is sweaty, cheeks and chest flushed pink, tears in the corners of his eyes seconds away from sliding down his cheeks. This was worth it. Fuck, everything was worth seeing this.

There’s heat rapidly washing down Namjoon’s body, and he worries that he’s going to end up coming before Yoongi. He can’t hold himself off, he’s too close and he knows it, so instead, he fucks harder, right into Yoongi’s prostate, as hard as he can.

The tears drop one right after the other, sliding down Yoongi’s temples, and when Yoongi shuts his eyes, a few more tears slide down. Yoongi’s hole clenches around Namjoon’s cock, and his moans get louder and louder, and louder, and the first spurt of come from Yoongi’s cock shoots so hard and so far, it hits the sheets beside Yoongi’s head.

When Namjoon comes, he keeps his eyes open, and other than a few gasps, he stays quiet, watching more stripes of white spill from Yoongi’s cock onto his stomach. Yoongi’s legs fall onto the bed, and Namjoon gently brushes the tears away from Yoongi’s temple, slowing his thrusts and leaning down to softly press his lips to Yoongi’s.

Yoongi’s lips are slack beneath Namjoon’s for a second or two, but even when they pucker up, the kiss stays delicate. Namjoon pulls away and looks at Yoongi’s still closed eyes. He wipes the tears off the other side of Yoongi’s face too and gently kisses Yoongi’s forehead, slowly pulling his cock out.  

“You did amazing,” Namjoon whispers. He turns his head to Hoseok, watches Hoseok watching them, Hoseok’s eyes tired and satiated. “You too,” Namjoon tells him. “You were incredible.”

He thinks Hoseok is too tired to blush, and when Namjoon gently runs his fingers through Hoseok’s hair, Hoseok blinks slowly, sticks his chin out weakly, asking. Namjoon leans over to Hoseok and kisses him.

“I can’t wait ‘till you can do that to me too,” Hoseok whispers against Namjoon’s lips.

“Yeah,” Namjoon breathes. “We’ll take it slow though. As long as you need.”

Yoongi opens his eyes and turns his head towards Hoseok.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi exhales.

“Yeah,” Hoseok answers. “Are you?”

Yoongi hums in agreement, his gaze falling on Namjoon.

“You…” Yoongi breathes. “You are-“ he shakes his head. “Ridiculous.”

Yoongi smiles softly, and Namjoon does too, kissing Yoongi’s forehead again, making him giggle breathily.

“I’ll be right back,” Namjoon says and gets himself off the bed.

On his way to the bathroom, Namjoon stops, watches Hoseok snuggle up to Yoongi, and Yoongi snuggle back. Namjoon smiles the entire time he’s in the bathroom, affection flooding his chest. He throws the used condom away and splashes some water onto his face. His reflection shows him a person who’s just had sex and is going to feel it in all of his muscles tomorrow.

When he comes back out, wet washcloth in his hands, Yoongi and Hoseok are kissing softly. He climbs onto the bed as gently as he can, and they don’t stop kissing as Namjoon drags the towel down Hoseok’s stomach. Hoseok does pull away from Yoongi when Namjoon pushes his leg up to wipe between his thighs. Another new experience for Hoseok.

Namjoon does it as quickly as he can, trying to save Hoseok the potential embarrassment, then folds the towel in half and turns his attention to Yoongi. Yoongi doesn’t open his eyes when Namjoon wipes between his legs, simply presses his lips to Hoseok’s cheek.

“I wanna sleep,” Yoongi whispers. “But the bed is gross.”

“We can take the sheets off,” Namjoon offers, dropping the towel beside the bed.

“But then it’ll have no sheets,” Yoongi opens his eyes, “and we’ll be sleeping on a gross mattress.”

Namjoon smiles at the thought of them falling asleep together.

“What if we move to one of the other rooms?” Namjoon tries.

“But that means having to get up,” Yoongi protests, a small smile on his lips. “And like, putting on pants.”

“I’ll carry you,” Namjoon says. “And fuck pants, we don’t need them.”

Yoongi laughs breathily, Hoseok smiling beside him.

“We kinda do though,” Yoongi says. “Imagine if one of the kids caught us sneaking down the hall naked.”

Hoseok and Namjoon laugh too.

“Okay, then we brave ourselves, put on pants and go to one of the other rooms,” Namjoon says.

“Fine,” Yoongi breathes. “Can you find my pants for me?”

Namjoon laughs, getting off the bed again. He spares Yoongi his skinny jeans and just gets his underwear, grabbing Hoseok’s along the way too. Hoseok takes the underwear from Namjoon as he climbs back onto the bed, but Yoongi doesn’t move. Namjoon smiles fondly and picks up Yoongi’s legs one by one, getting the underwear onto him. He sees Yoongi blush, but Yoongi still doesn’t do anything at all, letting Namjoon pamper him for a second.

Hoseok gets up off the bed and almost falls onto it again, catching himself just in time. Namjoon finds his own underwear on the carpet and pulls them up his own legs, before reaching for Yoongi, fully intending on carrying him out of the room, but Yoongi draws the line at simply helping him get onto his legs.

Namjoon pulls his keycard out of his pants and grabs Hoseok’s keycard off the table. He looks out of the peephole before opening the door, checking there is no one in the hallway, and when he cracks the door open, he checks again, making sure.

They sneak out of Hoseok’s room like a few teenagers sneaking out of their house at night. Fortunately, they only have to go one room down the hall to get to Namjoon’s room. He locks the door behind them once they’re all inside, and neither Yoongi nor Hoseok waste any time before pulling the covers off the bed and getting under the blankets.

Hoseok lies in the middle of the bed, cuddling up to Yoongi, and Namjoon slides under the covers beside Hoseok, wrapping his arm around Hoseok’s middle.

“I have to stop coming first,” Hoseok says into the darkness. “It’s ruining my self-esteem.”

Yoongi giggles, turning onto his side. Namjoon can just about make out his features.

“You came untouched,” Yoongi says. “That was so hot.”

“I’ve never had an orgasm like that before,” Hoseok whispers. “It was insane. And my butt feels even emptier now.”

Yoongi laughs harder, “Yeah, mine too.”

Namjoon smiles widely.

“I think you have a praise kink,” Yoongi says, looking directly at Namjoon. “But like, not praising you. I think you like praising us.”

“I-“ Namjoon starts. “Yeah, I do.”

“I also think you’re holding it back for some reason,” Yoongi adds.

“It feels… like a little too much sometimes,” Namjoon whispers. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I think I don’t mind it,” Yoongi says.

“I like it,” Hoseok adds. “When you tell me I’m doing good, I think I like it.”

“Yeah?” Namjoon asks, and Hoseok nods.

“Don’t hold back,” Yoongi says. “What’s the point of holding back when you’re having sex with your best friends?”

“Okay,” Namjoon says, a shy smile forming on his face. “What are we gonna do about tomorrow morning?”

“What do you mean?” Yoongi asks.

“To avoid being caught half naked in bed together,” Namjoon clarifies.

“Oh,” Yoongi says.

“Set the alarm a little earlier,” Hoseok says. “We’ll leave before they even wake up.”

“We need to start thinking about telling them,” Namjoon says.

“Yeah,” Yoongi says. “We’ll think about it tomorrow though. For now, let’s sleep.”

Namjoon reaches for his phone, picking it up off the nightstand.

Yoongi grunts, “Bright.”

“Sorry,” Namjoon says, setting the alarm quickly.

“That’s okay,” Yoongi whispers, snuggling up to Hoseok, his hand finding Namjoon’s under the covers, eyes closing. “You’re a really kind lover, you know that?”

Namjoon blushes, squeezes Yoongi’s hand in his, pressing a kiss onto Hoseok’s shoulder.

“Go to sleep, hyung,” is his answer to Yoongi.

“Okay,” Yoongi whispers.

Hoseok turns his head and kisses Namjoon’s forehead, and Namjoon only smiles and blushes harder, sleep slowly but surely pulling him in.

Chapter Text

The next morning is mostly fine.

They wake up fifteen minutes earlier than they’re supposed to and manage to get out of Namjoon’s hotel room with minimal damage. Yoongi does threaten to kill them both when he gets up, looks at the mirror and finds scorching red scratches down his back – Hoseok’s fault, and blue-ish, purple-ish bruises on his thighs – Namjoon’s fault.

Then, there’s the big keycard mess. That happens when they realize that Yoongi’s keycard is in the front pocket of his pants, which they realize are still in Hoseok’s hotel room. So, Yoongi has to sneak there in his underwear first, then sneak back into his own room, and they’re kind of tight on time. Thankfully, no one catches them. But, lesson learned – bring all the keycards.

After their performance, later that night, Yoongi threatens to kill them again. He does it because, mid-show, in the dressing room, while they were changing clothes, Jimin catches a glimpse of the scratches on Yoongi’s back and whistles, which promptly makes everyone else, including the make-up noonas and stylists, turn to look at him. Again – lesson learned – watch the marks.

 

From that point on, everything sort of… falls into place. Their bedroom activities become almost routine.

They open a group-chat for the three of them that they have agreed to only ever use when one of them is in the mood for sex, and their messaging on it is all in code. Not the most impressive code, but still, being precautious is important. ‘Can you come to my hotel room in fifteen minutes? I’m having trouble finding rhymes’. ‘My studio in ten? Got first draft for beat’. Impressive? No. Still better than sending something like: ‘I wanna suck your dicks, come to my room’.

It’s easier than Namjoon thought to find time to have sex, and thankfully, they all have pretty much the same level of ‘horny’, which is… very and always. The sessions they go for most frequently are short – some spare fifteen minutes that they normally save for breaks from work, or their allotted resting alone time on days with a lot of activities. Those times become threesome times.

It is hard to find time alone in the dorms. But late at night, after most people have left their work building, and with the door locked behind them, their soundproof studios serve them well. Okay. It’s mostly Hoseok’s studio. Yoongi doesn’t like fucking in his studio. Although, with the kind of lock he has on his door, his studio would be the safest one for what they’re doing. But his equipment is too precious to him, and after getting come on his speakers once, Yoongi has been very adamant about his studio being off limits for anything sex.

Namjoon’s studio is a bit too small for all three of them anyway, though they tried it there too. But after they broke not one, but two of the expensive, motherfucking limited-edition figurines he has on his shelves, yeah… they are not having sex in his studio anymore either. So, Hoseok’s studio it is.

Hotel rooms are their best friends now. Hate them as they might, they have beds and locks and space. The three of them have developed a whole process for ‘safe hotel room fucking’. Text each other, choose the safest room, choose the time, come into the chosen room at the chosen time with your keycard, lock the door, close the windows, draw the curtains, turn on the air conditioner, fuck, go to one of the other rooms with all the keycards to cuddle and sleep, wake up twenty minutes early and go on their separate ways.

It works.

And so far, in the four months that passed, none of the rules have been broken.

Work always comes before sex. They don’t touch each other any differently in front of cameras. Even Hoseok, who was worried about getting too touchy in the beginning, is doing perfectly well. They only do anything sexual when all three of them are together. None of them have said anything about sleeping with anyone else, so, according to the rules, that means that none of them has had sex with anyone else. Namjoon’s thought about going out and trying to get laid, but what’s the point of risking potentially being seen or potentially having bad sex when you have such good sex available right at home? And he assumes Hoseok and Yoongi think the same thing.

The other members don’t know yet.

Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok all mention it to each other sometimes. “We should tell them”, “We have to plan how we’re gonna approach them about this”, “They’re going to catch us some day. It’s inevitable. It’s better that we tell them now on our own terms”. But as time went on, after postponing it over and over and over, they decide that maybe it’s better to wait. If they can hide from their best friends, from the people they’re living with, the people they see every single day, then that’s a good sign. That means that there’s no chance anyone from the outside will pick up on it. The other side of Namjoon’s brain still yells at him that they should tell them, but, for now, he ignores it.

And the sex? The sex is fucking amazing.

Because they’re pressed for time so often, the majority of their sexual activities consist of handjobs and blowjobs. Usually, Yoongi’s on his knees for them, and both Namjoon and Hoseok get to fuck his throat. It’s amazing to watch. Yoongi honestly gets off on it. So many times, it happened that, after Yoongi sucked both of them off, either Namjoon or Hoseok were going to suck him off back, but by then, Yoongi’s already jerked himself to orgasm.

Other times, it’s Hoseok on his knees. He’s getting better. Much better. Can take more now. Deeper. He’s still not as good as Yoongi, but with Yoongi helping him, he’s slowly getting there. Namjoon thinks he himself is getting better too. He knows he’s not as good as Hoseok and not even close to being as good as Yoongi, but he’s trying his hardest. He really is. He can’t deepthroat. No matter how many times he tries, he always ends up choking. So, usually, when he’s on his knees for Yoongi and Hoseok, he’s working their tips with his mouth and their shafts with his hands.

He’s found he quite likes sucking them off, despite his inadequacy. He likes that he’s making them come with his mouth, likes how hard he has to work to get them there. Even the taste doesn’t bother him, not when he knows how good he must make them feel for them to come in his mouth. He also likes sharing the floor with Yoongi, both of them kissing, licking and sucking Hoseok’s cock. And sometimes one of them is sucking Hoseok’s cock while the other is licking Hoseok’s hole. And Hoseok… Hoseok breaks apart so fucking beautifully for them. Namjoon can’t get enough of watching Hoseok shaking after an orgasm.

Anal is something they reserve for whenever they’re at hotels, or when they’re alone in the dorm – for whenever they have time and a comfy place to do it on. Hotels are still preferred though, because whenever they’re at a hotel, they can actually cuddle and sleep together afterward, which is something that they, unfortunately, can’t do in the dorms. They’ve gotten pretty good at cuddling too, not that they were ever bad at it, but it feels quite natural now, to get into bed together and fall asleep in the company of someone else – of two someone elses.

They really like taking their time with anal, that’s why they leave it for these special occasions. Namjoon can last quite a while if he puts his mind to it, and Yoongi puts that ability to good use. More often than not, they’ll end up with Yoongi between them – getting fucked by Namjoon and fucking Hoseok.

Hoseok’s been learning how to take cock better in this way too. His prostate is still crazy sensitive, but they’ve figured out his rhythm. Don’t touch his prostate at all in the beginning because it hurts him too much, but when he’s getting closer to orgasming, when his body is starting to wind up, he doesn’t seem to notice the pain anymore, and fucking his prostate only makes everything better. He’s also really good at coming untouched.

Namjoon hasn’t topped Hoseok yet. Hoseok asks for it sometimes – either in the heat of the moment, being slowly fucked by Yoongi, body starting to shake, or right after coming, when his mind is still orgasm-slow.

“Next time,” Hoseok would look at Namjoon and either pant or whisper. “Next time, I want you to fuck me. I want you to fuck me hard, stretch me wide, make it hurt.”

And Namjoon would agree. He would agree even if the thought of doing what Hoseok wants him to do worries him, because he doesn’t want to hurt Hoseok. Never wants to hurt him. But he says that yes, “Yes, next time”, because that’s what Hoseok wants to hear, because hearing that in the moment makes Hoseok’s eyes roll back with pleasure.

Over the past four months, Namjoon’s thought a few times about bottoming for them too. He doesn’t want to do it though. Not now. He’s not ready for it yet. Maybe someday.

If he’s totally honest with himself though, he’s starting to agree with Yoongi on the whole “having sex with you is funny” ordeal. They’re friends. They talk about friend shit all the time. That doesn’t stop when they’re having sex.

“My computer’s been getting viruses,” Namjoon said one time, two fingers in Hoseok. “I keep getting porn ads whenever I get online.”

“What porn have you been watching?” Yoongi laughs at him, jerking himself off beside them.

“I haven’t,” Namjoon complains, curls his fingers up and listens to Hoseok moan. When Yoongi raises an eyebrow at him, he adds sheepishly. “Not on that computer.”

Or:

“You know Roy? The dancer,” Hoseok asks all of the sudden, slowly sinking down onto Yoongi’s cock. “He was all weird on stage yesterday, like, much more low energy than normal. So after the show, I asked him if he’s okay, and he said Haeun broke up with him.”

“Wait,” Yoongi removes his hand from Namjoon’s cock and grabs Hoseok’s hips, stops him from moving. “Really?”

“But they’ve been together for two years now,” Namjoon says.

“I know,” Hoseok says, starts slowly grinding his hips on Yoongi’s again. “She said she can’t be in a relationship with him if he’s overseas for months at a time.”

That conversation lasts a little longer than it is appropriate considering the positions they’re in.

And then sometimes it’s like this:

“Wait,” Hoseok says during one of their first times having sex. Yoongi had just commented something about how he didn’t realize it would take so much concentration to have sex with two people at once. “You haven’t had a threesome before us?”

“No,” Yoongi says, taking his tongue off Namjoon’s shaft and sitting fully down onto Hoseok’s cock.

“Me neither,” Namjoon says. “You did?”

Hoseok lights up.

“Yeah!” he exclaims. “Fucking finally! Something I did that you didn’t.”

“Well, technically,” Namjoon says. “We’ve all had a few threesomes by now.”

“Not with two girls, you haven’t,” Hoseok counters, clearly proud of himself.

“Two girls?” Yoongi laughs, starts shifting his hips on top of Hoseok. “You managed to handle two girls at once?”

“Don’t make it sound like it’s impossible,” Hoseok says. “And well… they did a lot to each other too, so it wasn’t all on me.”

“Okay,” Namjoon says as Yoongi wraps his lips around his cock again. “That’s hot.”

 

So. Four months.

Four months of awesome, easy sex, of good communication and honesty all around. Four months, and a rule finally gets broken.

It’s not even something big. Namjoon’s sure he’s making it into something much bigger than it actually is. It’s the ‘only doing sexual things when all three of us are together’ rule.

He’s at the dorm one evening, in his bed, with Taehyung playing some game on his laptop on his own bed beside him, when he looks at the time and realizes it’s already around ten thirty PM. Not really that late for them, but they’ve been awake since six in the morning today, and there’s a big day coming up tomorrow as well. He puts his laptop down and struts out of his and Taehyung’s room.

Jeongguk is in the kitchen, and Hoseok is in the bathroom. Namjoon knows that Jimin and Seokjin are still in the company building, working on a bit of choreography that Seokjin is pissed at himself for not getting right and Jimin offered to help him with. They said that they’ll be coming back in less than an hour, so he’s not worried about them. He is worried about Yoongi.

Yoongi who, after a full day of promoting, decided he needed an hour in his studio to produce a beat that’s been stuck in his head the whole day. That’s fine. Not the first time it happened. It has been three hours since he got to the studio though.

So Namjoon texts him, asking if everything’s okay, and if he’s getting ready to go home. It takes Yoongi ten minutes to answer, and when he does, it’s: ‘just need a little longer’.

‘it can wait for tomorrow,’ Namjoon texts back. ‘we gotta be up at 6.’

‘a bit longer,’ Yoongi replies.

There’s no point in texting more. Based on previous experiences, these texts mean that he’s been stuck for the past two hours, and he’s annoyed with himself. Namjoon’s mindlessly walking around the apartment with his phone, futilely hoping that Yoongi will come to his senses and send a text saying that he’s coming home, when Hoseok gets out of the shower. He’s shirtless, his hair wet and dripping onto his chest, and it gives Namjoon the best idea.

Immediately, he walks up to Jimin and Hoseok’s room and knocks on the door, Hoseok opening it a moment later, toweling his hair. Confusion flickers over Hoseok’s eyes, but he seems to know, somehow, what Namjoon is there for. So he lets Namjoon step into the room and locks the door behind him.

“The look in your eyes is telling me one thing,” Hoseok says, still toweling his hair. “But the fact that we’re not alone at home is telling me another.”

“I have an idea,” Namjoon says, feeling excitement start to bubble up in him.

Hoseok raises his eyebrows.

“Yoongi’s not here,” Namjoon says, and Hoseok frowns.

“I thought he was,” Hoseok says, putting the towel down.

“He should be,” Namjoon says. “But he’s still in the studio.”

Hoseok sighs heavily, walks towards his and Jimin’s closet, “Why does he always do that to himself?”

“Because he’s a perfectionist who forgets his own limits sometimes?” Namjoon offers.

“Yeah,” Hoseok huffs out a sad laugh and pulls a shirt over his head.

“So, my idea,” Namjoon says, and Hoseok turns to him. “Is that we go over there,” Namjoon lowers his voice to a whisper. “We make him come really hard, and then he’ll get all sleepy and come home.”

Hoseok pauses, seems to think for a second.

“Sound like a bad idea,” he says eventually. “For multiple reasons.”

But Namjoon’s got this. This is a great idea. Rash. Spontaneous. Not their style. But Yoongi always gets really tired after sex, so if anything will get him to go home, it’s this.

“The biggest reason being that he might not want to right now,” Hoseok adds.

“He always wants to,” Namjoon counters.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Hoseok says. “But he’s working on music right now. Now might be the only time that he wouldn’t want to.”

Oh. Yeah, Namjoon didn’t really consider that.

“Okay,” Namjoon says, getting his excitement and horniness under control and starting to think logically. He leans against a wall. “Then, worse case, we’ll go there and just convince him to go home… without the orgasm.”

Hoseok smiles at him softly.

“Second problem,” Hoseok continues, walking towards Namjoon and whispering too. “Is that we won’t be able to get him out of his studio. We will literally have to tear him away from his screen with our mouths on his dick if we wanna get him to stop working on a song he’s stuck on, even if it’s so that he could get a decent amount of sleep tonight,” Hoseok leans against the wall next to Namjoon. “And you know how he feels about fucking next to his equipment.”

This, Namjoon did think about. He walks over to Hoseok’s bed and picks up the towel he left there.

Hoseok shakes his head in confusion.

“We place a towel down,” Namjoon says. “Problem solved.”

Hoseok walks up to Namjoon, standing a few inches away from him.

“We had sex two days ago,” Hoseok whispers. “Are you horny again already?”

“I mean,” Namjoon starts. “I’m always horny for you guys.”

Hoseok laughs and takes the towel from him. It’s not like Namjoon just informed him of something new.

“Okay,” Hoseok says. “Let’s go get him.”

And here’s the excitement again.

Hoseok shakes his head, leans forward and kisses Namjoon. Namjoon closes his eyes and kisses Hoseok back for a few seconds.

 

He doesn’t even notice what happened until after he left Hoseok and Jimin’s room and went back into his own to grab a jacket. He doesn’t notice it when Taehyung asks him where he’s going, and he tells him that he and Hoseok are going to get Yoongi from the studio. He doesn’t notice it when him and Hoseok lock the door behind themselves. He only notices when they’re riding down the elevator to get to Hoseok’s car.

They kissed. Without Yoongi there. It shouldn’t feel like a big deal. It didn’t feel like a big deal while it was happening. And technically, it wasn’t even sexual. Not really. But it’s something that’s never happened before, and it feels like it’s against the rules. They’re always together for these kinds of ‘benefits’. Always.

He shakes his head before getting into the passenger side of Hoseok’s car and just decides to focus on how they’re going to convince Yoongi to go home with them if sex is not an option. They’ll have to talk about this rule thing later.

“So,” Hoseok drives out of the parking garage and gets onto the road. “Do you have a plan?”

“For how to get him to leave?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah,” Hoseok answers.

“Guilt trip him by telling him that we left home only to go get him,” Namjoon says. “Tell him that we’re worried about his sleep, and that’s why we’re sacrificing our own sleep.”

“That could work,” Hoseok nods. “What about the sex? Plans for that?”

“Kind of,” Namjoon smiles. They come to a stop at a red light. “I wanna rim him. Properly. Wanted to since the first time.”

Hoseok glances at Namjoon.

Why Namjoon hasn’t properly rimmed Yoongi yet is sort of a difficult question to answer. He’s wanted to. But he didn’t want to rush it, so all of their shorter sessions were not an option. And since it’s comparatively rare for them to actually have long sessions, and they prefer to leave those for anal, and Yoongi loves anal, well… getting Yoongi to come from just his tongue kept… not happening. There’s also the fact that whenever he does manage to get his tongue into Yoongi’s ass during sex, Yoongi starts complaining about not being able to focus on giving back that way, so Namjoon has to stop.

It almost made Namjoon think that Yoongi just doesn’t want to be rimmed, which would have been fine, but Namjoon remembers Yoongi saying that he likes it, and he remembers very well the way Yoongi’s body reacts to it. And so, because this time will be very much focused on Yoongi, and Yoongi won’t need to concentrate as much on pleasing them back, today will be the perfect opportunity.

“Do you remember?” He asks Hoseok, watching the white lines on the road flash before the car. “First time I put my tongue on his hole, he started gasping. His voice got all shaky.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok sighs. “I was looking at his face at the time. He looked like his mind blanked, like he completely stopped thinking all of the sudden.”

“So sensitive to it,” Namjoon breathes, can hear the wonder in his own voice. “How is that?”

“What do you mean?” Hoseok asks.

“Fuck him with barely any prep, as hard as you want, as hard as you can,” Namjoon starts. “And he takes it. No complaint. Opens up, bears the pain. Loves every second of it. But put your tongue on him… something so soft, so gentle. No pain. And he loses it.”

Hoseok exhales roughly, and Namjoon turns to look at him.

“You want to talk about rimming hyung,” Hoseok says. “Please do it in a way that doesn’t make me hard while I’m driving.”

Namjoon laughs and stops talking, letting Hoseok concentrate.

It hits him suddenly, that maybe doing this is also against the rules. They’ve never made a rule about spontaneity, but the last time they had unplanned sex was when Hoseok had anal for the first time. They always either talk about it or text about it, but sex is no longer something that happens spontaneously.

He thinks that this may also break their ‘no interfering with the job rule’. But that one, he dismisses quickly. Yoongi’s not supposed to be working right now anyway. It’s not interfering with the job, it’s making sure Yoongi can do his job properly tomorrow. So, no. No additional rules have been broken. And maybe the first one wasn’t broken either. Maybe just kissing doesn’t count. He has no idea.

Hoseok parks the car, and they ride the elevator into the entrance of the building. When they get there, they pass by the building’s nighttime guard. He’s a nice guy, middle-aged, doesn’t look too buff, but something about his face tells you that he could take you down in a heartbeat if you crossed him.

“Hey, Myunghoon-shi,” Namjoon says.

“A bit late to be coming in, isn’t it?” he asks calmly, letting them through the main door.

“We’re not going in for too long,” Hoseok smiles. “Came to take Yoongi hyung back.”

“Take back Jimin and Seokjin while you’re at it,” he says. “They’ve been in the practice room for hours now.”

“Yeah, we know,” Hoseok says. “They’re leaving soon.”

“Is there anyone else in the building?” Namjoon asks. Might as well get some info. The majority of the employees leave around eight, but some stick around sometimes.

“Dongsuk and Jongyul are still here,” he says. “Everybody else went home.”

One of the managers and his assistant. Not people that’ll go looking for them. That’s good.

Hoseok and Namjoon make polite conversation with Myunghoon for a minute, ask him about his day, ask how his kids are, then they finally go on their way, up an elevator, down the hall to Yoongi’s studio. They look at each other for a second, and Hoseok knocks on the door.

Yoongi opens a moment later, still in his rolling chair with his headphones on his ears. He gives Hoseok and Namjoon a confused look and pulls his headphones down to his neck. He looks tired. Pale as hell, one of his eyes is redder than the other, there are two coffee cups behind him, and honestly, the shadows created on his face from the computer screens and the small lamp on his desk are not helping with the picture at all.

“Fuck are you doing here?” he asks, voice gravelly.

“Came to take you home,” Namjoon says.

Yoongi rolls his eyes and wheels his chair back to his desk. They step in, and Namjoon walks up to Yoongi’s desk, leaving Hoseok behind to lock the door.

“Shouldn’t have done that,” Yoongi places both hands on his keyboard, starts typing something. “I need fifteen more minutes. Maybe twenty.”

“Fifteen minutes… twenty minutes… maybe an hour,” Namjoon muses.

Yoongi looks up at Namjoon like Namjoon’s the biggest nuisance the world has ever seen.

“Maybe an hour,” Yoongi repeats sternly.

Namjoon watches Hoseok throw his bag onto Yoongi’s couch.

“How long have you been stuck?” Hoseok asks, walking up to Yoongi as well, standing on the opposite side of Yoongi’s chair and leaning against his desk.

“I’m not stuck,” Yoongi protests, pulling his headphones back onto his ears. “Go home. I’ll be back in an hour.”

Hoseok pulls Yoongi’s headphones off Yoongi’s ears and lays them on the table.

“You said fifteen minutes,” Hoseok says.

If Namjoon had to use one word to describe the look in Yoongi’s eyes at that moment, he would say it’s a bit murderous.

“We came all the way here just to get you,” Namjoon tries. “Are you really gonna send us home?”

“Yes,” Yoongi deadpans.

“You need to sleep,” Hoseok says.

“I’ll sleep,” Yoongi says.

“More than five hours,” Hoseok adds.

“it’s only-“ Yoongi looks at his screen, “-eleven. There’s plenty of time to sleep.”

“You’ll be sitting here for another hour at least. We all know that,” Namjoon tries to reason. “And by the time you get home and do all your shit, you’ll have maybe five hours to sleep. You need to be awake tomorrow. It’s a long day, and we need you.”

Yoongi sighs deeply and closes his eyes.

“It sounded so perfect in my head,” Yoongi complains, deflating. “But once I got it all into the program, something was off. And I can’t figure out what it is.”

“You’re tired,” Namjoon says gently. “You’ll figure it out with a clearer head tomorrow.”

“I won’t feel the same about it tomorrow. I need to get the proper feelings into it now,” Yoongi protests. “It might turn out completely different tomorrow.”

“It might turn out exactly how you want it to turn out,” Namjoon says. “Or it’ll turn out completely different. Doesn’t mean it’ll be worse than what you imagined.”

Yoongi grimaces, looks at his screen again.

“Just fifteen more minutes,” he says. “I’ll figure it out.”

“Hyung,” Namjoon whispers, and Yoongi turns to look at him.

Namjoon leans down, places his fingers under Yoongi’s chin and kisses him. There are a few moments where Yoongi’s lips don’t move, and then he deflates again and kisses Namjoon back. It feels so good to kiss him again. It’s been a whole two days since they kissed last, and Namjoon honestly didn’t realize how much he was craving it.

Yoongi lets out a moan against his lips, and Namjoon pulls away only to find Hoseok’s hands on Yoongi’s shoulders, massaging them softly. Yoongi’s mouth is open a little, slack, his eyelids fluttering.

“Just fifteen more minutes,” Yoongi whispers, head falling back onto his chair.

Namjoon smiles, lays a small kiss onto Yoongi’s lips and drops onto his knees. He places his hands onto Yoongi’s thighs and rubs them up and down in long, drawn-out motions. When he raises his head to look, Yoongi’s eyes are closed, and Hoseok’s smiling fondly at both of them.

There’s no protest when Namjoon reaches for Yoongi’s belt, only a small moan, and Namjoon rejoices in it. Yoongi seems to have forgotten for now that he doesn’t like having sex in his studio. When Namjoon starts pulling on Yoongi’s jeans, Yoongi raises his hips, lets Namjoon tug both his jeans and his underwear off his legs.

Yoongi’s almost fully hard already. Namjoon can tell without even touching him. It’s nice, knowing that they barely have to do anything to each other to get hard at this point, that it’s pretty much an automatic response. And it takes no more than two strokes for Yoongi to be fully hard in Namjoon’s hand.

Namjoon’s mind is still stuck on the idea of rimming Yoongi, but he waits, wraps his lips around the tip of Yoongi’s cock and does his very best to try to make Yoongi relax, become more pliant. He lowers his lips around Yoongi’s length, pressing his tongue flat against Yoongi’s shaft then twirling it around the tip, just the way that he knows Yoongi likes.

“Fuck,” Yoongi exhales quietly, fingers threading into Namjoon’s hair. “You feel good.”

Hoseok’s hands reach from Yoongi’s shoulders to his neck, and Yoongi’s head drops forward with a sigh. God, he must be more tired than Namjoon thought. Maybe Namjoon shouldn’t rim him today. Maybe he should just get him off with a simple blowjob and take him home. But then Yoongi’s hips start rising, and okay, maybe he’s not that tired.

He doesn’t fuck Namjoon’s mouth harshly, knows that Namjoon can’t take it too deep anyway. It’s just small thrusts, taking just a little bit of control away from Namjoon. But that’s okay. Namjoon lets him.

Namjoon uses the opportunity and rubs his own cock through his jeans, alleviating some of the pressure. He fucking hates getting hard in jeans, his dick never has enough space to grow fully in them. But fuck is it trying. Honestly, he doesn’t even really need Yoongi thrusting into his mouth to get hard right now. Just the thought of rimming Yoongi is enough to get him there.

When Namjoon licks up Yoongi’s shaft and kisses the very tip of Yoongi’s cock, Yoongi doesn’t stop him. He releases Namjoon’s hair and lets Namjoon get up onto his legs.

“Yoongi,” Namjoon whispers, and Yoongi raises his head. “Stand up?”

Yoongi looks like he doesn’t want to, like he’s too tired, but when Namjoon reaches his hands out, Yoongi takes them anyway. He lets Namjoon lift him and lets Hoseok pull off his jacket and his shirt, then stands there. Just stands there. Completely naked. The only one naked. And lets them both look. The lighting in the room may not be the greatest, but Yoongi looks beautiful.

“Beautiful,” Namjoon breathes, running his palms down Yoongi’s chest, while Hoseok feels Yoongi’s biceps.

Yoongi doesn’t blush. He usually blushes. Maybe he’s too tired now. Maybe Namjoon said it in a way that made Yoongi actually believe it. Whatever it is, Namjoon smiles and kisses Yoongi’s lips softly, parting them with his own and sliding his tongue between them.

It took Namjoon a while to really be comfortable complimenting and praising them. Every time they had sex, Yoongi and Hoseok would somehow notice Namjoon holding the words back. He doesn’t know how they did it, how they spotted his hesitation, but every time, they insisted for him to just let go.

Hoseok is easier to compliment. Not because he has more things for Namjoon to compliment, but just because he takes the praise better. When Namjoon praises Hoseok, he feels like he’s pleasing Hoseok just as much as himself. When he praises Yoongi, it feels more like it’s for Namjoon than it is for Yoongi, which, in the beginning, bothered Namjoon. But he thinks Yoongi is growing to like it too.

“Turn around,” Namjoon whispers, pressing a final kiss onto Yoongi’s lips. Yoongi locks gazes with Namjoon for a moment then does as he says.

The moment Yoongi turns around, he bends forward and kisses Hoseok. Namjoon watches them and drags his palms down Yoongi’s back gently, letting them rest on Yoongi’s ass. He squeezes Yoongi’s ass cheeks and listens to Yoongi moan, then he leans closer, his clothed front coming in contact with Yoongi’s naked back. His arms wrap around Yoongi’s middle, one hand coming down to stroke Yoongi’s cock.

“I wanna do something special,” Namjoon whispers into Yoongi’s ear, twisting his fist on Yoongi’s shaft in a way that makes Yoongi hiss.

Yoongi pulls back from Hoseok’s lips, “What?”

“I wanna rim you,” Namjoon say.

Yoongi doesn’t reply at first, and Namjoon stops moving his hand.

“Didn’t you wanna take me home?” Yoongi asks.

“You ask that now?” Namjoon tries to smile. “After the blowjob?”

Yoongi laughs, “My brain’s kinda slow right now.”

Namjoon smiles widely and kisses the nape of Yoongi’s neck, “So… Do you want to?”

There’s a pause, and Namjoon’s smile recedes. He lifts his hand from Yoongi’s cock and just hugs Yoongi from behind.

“I have to-“ Yoongi inhales. “If you want to do that, I have to go clean up.”

“Didn’t you shower before leaving the house?” Hoseok asks before Namjoon can do the same.

There’s another pause.

“Oh,” Yoongi exhales, nods. “Forgot about that.”

Namjoon believes him, he does, but he thinks he also senses a bit of hesitation in Yoongi’s voice.

“You don’t have to agree,” Namjoon says, pressing his lips into the nape of Yoongi’s neck. “If you don’t want to, then I don’t want to.”

Yoongi turns, his eyes meeting Namjoon’s again. Then, he takes a deep breath.

“I want to,” Yoongi nods and kisses Namjoon.

They spend a few moments with their lips interlocked, but then Hoseok pulls Yoongi back towards himself, and Namjoon runs his hands down the back of Yoongi’s thighs, bringing them behind Yoongi’s knees and pressing, directing Yoongi to lift his knees onto his rolling chair.

“God,” Yoongi exclaims, climbing onto the chair. “I don’t even remember the last time someone rimmed me.”

“Joon rims you sometimes,” Hoseok says, running his fingers through Yoongi’s hair.

“Yeah, no, I mean-“ Yoongi tries. “Like, actually, properly rim. Without me complaining and… asking to stop.”

“Are you sure you want to?” Namjoon asks.

“Have you ever known me to not be sure?” Yoongi retorts.

Namjoon smiles and starts laying kisses down Yoongi’s spine.

“Fair warning though,” Yoongi says as Namjoon falls back onto his knees, coming face to face with Yoongi’s gorgeous fucking ass. “I can’t really do much when I’m being rimmed.”

Namjoon kisses the small of Yoongi’s back, positions both his hands onto Yoongi’s hips and presses his thumbs down, getting Yoongi to arch his back.

“Like, I can’t really reciprocate,” Yoongi inhales, then swallows sharply. Namjoon isn’t even doing anything to him yet, just holding his hips and looking at him.

“I know,” Namjoon says gently.

“Are you nervous?” Hoseok asks.

Namjoon rests his hands on the globes of Yoongi’s ass and plants a loud kiss on Yoongi’s left butt cheek.

“No,” Yoongi says. “Can you take your dick out?”

He knows the request is directed towards Hoseok, but Namjoon reaches for his own zipper too, pulling his cock and balls out, letting them hang, hard and heavy, out of his jeans. Hoseok moves around to the side of the chair where Namjoon can see him and does the same, Yoongi immediately reaching for his cock, wrapping a hand around it.

“I’ll just get you off like this, okay?” Yoongi asks, looking at Hoseok. “I can concentrate enough on a simple up and down hand motion probably.”

Hoseok huffs out a laugh, “Or I could just fuck your mouth.”

“Huh,” Yoongi looks up, thinking. “Yeah, that’ll work.”

Namjoon laughs at them fondly, taking Yoongi’s ass cheeks in his hands again.

“Don’t worry, Joon,” Yoongi teases. “We didn’t forget about you.”

“I’m not worried,” Namjoon says, squeezing Yoongi’s ass in both hands. “You just… stay there, come like a good boy, and I’ll jerk myself off and come all over your ass.”

“Damn, Joonie,” Yoongi says, and there’s still a teasing edge to his voice, but Namjoon can also see Yoongi’s hole twitch at his words, so… “You really know how to make a boy swoon.”

Namjoon bites Yoongi’s ass cheek playfully, and Yoongi laughs.

He stops laughing very quickly though when Namjoon spreads his cheeks and places a small kiss right above his tiny, tight, lovely pink hole.

“Talk to me, yeah?” Namjoon says, lowering himself and gently licking Yoongi’s balls. “Tell me how you like it.”

“Aha,” Yoongi responds, and Namjoon drags his tongue up Yoongi’s taint.

He doesn’t lick Yoongi’s hole yet, stopping his tongue right before it gets there. He kisses it instead. Lips puckered. A gentle kiss. Like he’s kissing something precious. He is kissing something precious.

Yoongi inhales and exhales shakily, the way he does when he’s calming himself, controlling his breathing. Namjoon kisses his hole again, his fingers spreading on Yoongi’s cheeks. Hoseok is brushing hair off Yoongi’s forehead as Yoongi jerks his cock. The movement of Yoongi’s hand is steady, consistent. Namjoon’s going to change that.

The first lick has Yoongi exhaling roughly and Namjoon smiling against his skin. He really doesn’t understand how Yoongi has less control when his ass is being softly licked than when it’s being pounded. The second, firmer lick has Yoongi’s hole clenching beneath Namjoon’s tongue.

It stays clenched like that as Namjoon gets into a steady pace of licking. Yoongi’s breathing harder with every passing second, but other than that, he stays quiet. When Namjoon widens his licks, makes them harder, Yoongi still stays quiet. Uncharacteristic. Yoongi usually talks more during sex, dirty or otherwise. He definitely talks more when Namjoon explicitly asks him for feedback.

“How do you feel?” Namjoon asks, then immediately goes back to licking.

Yoongi whimpers, and quite frankly, that’s already good feedback, but still.

“Good?” Namjoon insists, circling the tip of his tongue around Yoongi’s hole.

“I-“ Yoongi chokes out then straight up moans.

“Fuck,” Hoseok exclaims quietly. “You look so good like this, hyung.”

Yoongi moans again, his hole opening then closing tight, and all Namjoon wants right now is to be able to look at his face.

“Can you really come like this?” Hoseok asks.

There’s no response.

“Don’t just nod,” Hoseok laughs. “Joon likes to hear you.”

Thank god for Hoseok.

“Yes, fuck,” Yoongi whispers. “Yes, I can come like this.”

On his back. Damnit. He should have had Yoongi on his back. Idiot.

“What does he look like?” Namjoon asks between licks, directing the question at Hoseok.

“Hot,” Hoseok answers.

Yoongi’s hand is no longer moving on Hoseok’s cock. Hoseok doesn’t seem to mind, his hips slowly grinding into Yoongi’s fist. Not enough concentration for a simple up and down hand motion then. Namjoon wonders if Yoongi’s even noticed.

“He’s always hot,” Namjoon says, laying a soft kiss onto Yoongi’s butt cheek. “Give me more details.”

Namjoon goes back to circling his tongue over Yoongi’s rim, listens to Yoongi whimper when he pushes the tip of his tongue right up against his hole.

“Hmm,” Hoseok hums. “His eyes are closed. Oh. Now they’re open.”

“You don’t seem to be getting any better at dirty talking, Seok,” Namjoon teases Hoseok, then teases Yoongi by dipping the tip of his tongue into his hole and pulling it right out.

“Shut the fuck up,” Hoseok laughs. “You want me to write a fucking poem about his pink, luscious lips?”

“Write a rap verse about them,” Yoongi says loudly. “Make it hot,” Yoongi adds. “Do your insane hip thrusts when you perform it.”

Hoseok laughs, a big belly laugh that makes Namjoon smile.

“I’ll perform it privately for the two of you,” Hoseok says. “Put my insane hip thrusts to good use.”

“Fuck, yeah,” Yoongi moans, then laughs, his body shaking.

Namjoon slaps his ass cheek lightly.

“Stop moving,” Namjoon complains, on the verge of laughing too. “This is supposed to be hot.”

That only makes Yoongi laugh harder, so Namjoon places his forehead onto Yoongi’s butt cheek and just… smiles.

“Sorry,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon can hear the smile in his voice. “I can’t stop imagining it now. Seok fucking me and spitting bars in my ear.”

“I can’t decide if that’d be really hot,” Hoseok says. “Or really funny.”

“Funny,” Yoongi decides. “It’d be really fucking funny.”

“No, no, no, it’d be super hot,” Hoseok argues. “I’d like, rap about how badly the haters tried to fuck you over and how good you’re being fucked now.”

There’s a second of silence and then Yoongi snorts, actually snorts, and starts laughing again.

“That’s so bad,” Yoongi exclaims, and Namjoon lets out a laugh of his own.

“Stop ruining this!” Namjoon says. “Fuck, this is not fair. I’m so good at rimming, I promise.”

And now Yoongi and Hoseok are both laughing hard. And okay, fine, Namjoon’s laughing too.

“Sorry, Joon,” Yoongi says after calming down. “You can just fuck me if you want. Or blow me again. Or let me blow you, I don’t care.”

“Hell, no,” Namjoon stands up. “I’m determined and skilled, and fuck you, you are going to come with my tongue up your ass.”

“Is that a threat?” Yoongi turns his head back to look at Namjoon. “Why did that feel like a threat?”

“It’s a good kind of threat,” Namjoon defends.

“Didn’t know those existed,” Yoongi smiles.

“Well,” Namjoon tries then stops, realizes he doesn’t actually have anything to say. “Get on the couch.”

“What?” Yoongi asks. “Why?”

“Because I want you on the couch,” Namjoon answers.

There’s a pause. A smirk is tugging at the corner of Yoongi’s lips.

“Okay,” Yoongi says, shoves Namjoon’s chest until Namjoon is forced to take a step back, then gets off the chair and onto his feet.

He turns towards Namjoon, and Namjoon lets his gaze travel down Yoongi’s body. When his eyes rise back to Yoongi’s, Yoongi is already looking at him. There’s a moment where Namjoon thinks Yoongi is going to kiss him, but instead, Yoongi just smirks and walks past him and Hoseok, takes that step and a half towards the little couch in the corner of his studio, picks up Hoseok’s bag and throws it on the floor, then places one knee onto the couch.

“Wait,” Namjoon says before Yoongi can climb on.

Yoongi stops moving, and Namjoon walks up to him, gets him back onto his feet then places one palm on Yoongi’s naked chest.

“On your back,” Namjoon says quietly, and Yoongi doesn’t even hesitate.

It’s a small couch, a tight fit, but they manage. Yoongi lies down and lets Namjoon maneuver him into the position he wants, with his head placed comfortably on the back of the couch and both feet on the floor. Namjoon falls onto the floor between Yoongi’s knees once again and lifts both of Yoongi’s legs, pulling Yoongi forward just a bit and pushing his thighs up and apart, spreading him open. Yoongi catches on quickly, grabs the backs of his knees and holds, exposing himself to Namjoon.

The position is everything Namjoon wants it to be, but most of the lighting is behind him so Namjoon still can’t see too well. It’s okay though, the light from one of the screens is placed in a way that is just enough that he can see how wet Yoongi’s hole is, can see it twitching. And Yoongi looks fucking good like that too. All naked and open and willing.

The laughing seems to be out of all of their systems now, if the tension is anything to go by. Yoongi’s hard like a rock against his belly. Namjoon is hard too. And when Hoseok walks forward, climbs onto the couch on his knees and settles beside Yoongi, his cock still hanging out of his jeans, Namjoon is happy to see that he’s just as hard as they are.

Namjoon kisses Yoongi’s balls, and the moment his lips come in contact with that soft, soft skin, Yoongi’s balls tighten and draw up under him. Anticipation, maybe. Excitement. He can’t already be that close. No way.

“Okay,” Yoongi whispers. “Now it’s hot.”

There’s no time wasting after that. Namjoon spreads Yoongi as far as Yoongi can go, concentrates and puts his tongue back to work. Long licks, short licks, firm licks, soft licks, circles, then inside. Namjoon can’t figure out what Yoongi likes more and what Yoongi likes less because Yoongi reacts to everything with the same gasp and whimper.

At some point, Namjoon looks up and realizes that Hoseok has slid the tip of his cock into Yoongi’s mouth and is slowly fucking it. Yoongi doesn’t seem to be doing much, his lips loose, eyes closed, just taking it from both of them. It’s unexpected, how pliant he is. There’s so much more fight in him when he’s being fucked, more talking, more moving, more… everything. And this is not even tiredness. Namjoon knows what Yoongi is like in bed when he’s tired. This is something else. This is… giving in.

Yoongi is breathing so hard already, his chest rapidly rising and falling, and Namjoon can imagine how weird it must feel for Hoseok at that moment, Yoongi exhaling through his nose onto Hoseok’s shaft, no suction, no pressure. He must be right about it too because, suddenly, Hoseok is pulling his cock out of Yoongi’s mouth and running his fingers through Yoongi’s hair. And Yoongi… Yoongi doesn’t even try to take him back into his mouth, his gaze flitting down to where Namjoon is between his legs.

A soft noise leaves Yoongi’s lips when Namjoon flattens his tongue and drags is harshly across Yoongi’s hole, his nose bumping into Yoongi’s balls on the way up, so Namjoon repeats the motion. Repeats it and keeps repeating it, watching Yoongi’s eyebrows furrow deeply and his mouth fall open.

“Slower,” Yoongi breathes quietly.

So Namjoon slows down even more.

“You’re being so good for him,” Hoseok says, and something in Namjoon bursts with unexplainable pride.

Yoongi lets out a shaky moan, “Harder.”

Namjoon watches Yoongi’s face contort in desperation.

“Harder,” Yoongi whispers. “Harder, please.”

Please. Namjoon doesn’t mention it, but he remembers that time, remembers Yoongi’s reluctance. There’s even more pride in Namjoon’s chest. They’ve come a long way.

He stiffens his tongue as much as he can while keeping the pace slow.

His eyes stay trained on Yoongi’s face as Yoongi’s lips part even wider, his furrowed eyebrows pulling up a little. Yoongi shuts his eyes tightly, and his chest suddenly stops moving, hands leaving the backs of his knees, one grasping Hoseok’s thigh, and the other curling into Namjoon’s hair. His grip is so hard Namjoon’s scalp hurts a little, but Namjoon keeps up that solid, slow pace without fail, concerned about the fact that Yoongi is literally not breathing.

Then suddenly, Yoongi exhales and inhales harshly in quick succession, his toes curl, his balls draw up tight, and he’s not breathing again. Namjoon keeps up the licking as Yoongi tilts his head back and exhales and inhales sharply again. His back arches, he exhales and inhales once more, his hole tightens even more under Namjoon’s tongue, he pushes his head against the back of the couch, and then he’s whimpering, gasping, coming, shaking, his hole fluttering, hand falling away from Namjoon’s hair, tossing his head from side to side.

It ended so much quicker than Namjoon expected, but that doesn’t matter. Namjoon licks Yoongi through every second of his orgasm, keeps licking until Yoongi starts pulling away from him. When Namjoon rises a little higher on his knees, Yoongi’s feet fall onto the floor. His stomach is still rising and falling quickly, and there’s a line of come from his belly up to his chest, then a little pool of it right under the head of his cock, like he shot hard once, and the rest just dribbled out.

It’s so pretty Namjoon can’t help but lick it, dragging his tongue up Yoongi’s balls and shaft, continuing over Yoongi’s tip even when Yoongi flinches away, then dipping his tongue into that little pool of come and trailing it up the line on Yoongi’s stomach and chest. He swallows what he gets in his mouth then braces his fists by Yoongi’s sides and kisses him. Slow and filthy, tongue against tongue, letting Yoongi taste himself.

“That was so fucking gorgeous,” Namjoon says, cupping Yoongi’s cheek.

Yoongi is still shaking a little, his eyes closed. Namjoon presses a kiss to his forehead.

“You did so well,” Namjoon whispers.

“Stop praising me for no reason,” Yoongi exhales weakly, his eyes opening. “Couldn’t even suck Hoseok’s cock.”

“You were perfect,” Namjoon says, looking into Yoongi’s eyes, meaning it. “Untouched. Beautiful,” Namjoon drifts his finger over Yoongi’s softening shaft. “I’ll take care of Seok.”

When Namjoon looks up, he finds Hoseok smiling gently.

“You’ll take care of me?” Hoseok asks, smiling wider.

“’Course,” Namjoon answers, rising back up onto his legs.

Before Namjoon has time to reach for Hoseok, Hoseok gets off the couch, wraps his arms around Namjoon’s neck and kisses him deeply. Namjoon slides his hands down Hoseok’s torso and takes hold of the hem of Hoseok’s shirt, separating his lips from Hoseok’s and pulling Hoseok’s shirt up and over his head.

He hears Yoongi sigh and turns to look at him. Yoongi’s eyes are barely open, his whole body sunken into the couch. He looks tired, satisfied, peaceful. Namjoon knows that he’s the one who caused that, and he can’t help but smile.

A look back at Hoseok, and Namjoon finds him smiling too, so Namjoon cups Hoseok’s cheek and kisses his smile. There’s no reason to call Hoseok good right now, not really, but Namjoon wants to anyway. He kisses down Hoseok’s neck and slowly brings his lips lower, kissing Hoseok’s chest. He’s just about to fall onto his knees for the hundredth time tonight, fully ready to take Hoseok into his mouth, when-

“Wait,” Hoseok says.

Namjoon looks at him, standing up fully again.

“Umm,” Hoseok hesitates. “I wanna… Can we…” he pauses for a few seconds then shakes his head.

“What is it?” Namjoon asks.

Hoseok turns his head to Yoongi, “Do you still have condoms in here?”

“Uh,” Yoongi blinks rapidly a couple times, shaking himself into alertness. “Yeah, a couple. But- Seok, I really can’t go again right now.”

“It’s not-“ Hoseok starts then walks away from Namjoon towards Yoongi’s desk, “-for you.”

There’s a moment in which Namjoon thinks that maybe Hoseok wants to top him, and he finds himself panicking a little. Apparently, he’s less excited about bottoming than he thought. But then Hoseok is turning around, condom and lube in his hands, shoving them towards Namjoon, and Namjoon starts worrying for a whole other reason.

He doesn’t take the offered condoms and lube, his brain just… not catching up with the fact that he should. The only reason he really notices something is wrong is because he can legitimately see Hoseok shy away. For the first time in these entire four months, he sees pure uncertainty in Hoseok.

“Uh,” Hoseok says. “Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you’re right, bad timing, now’s… bad timing.”

Namjoon grabs the lube and condoms from Hoseok’s hands before Hoseok can turn away.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Namjoon says seriously.

“You won’t,” Hoseok says. He says it like he believes it, like he trusts Namjoon not to hurt him, like he doesn’t understand.

“It won’t really be up to me,” Namjoon whispers.

“It hurts,” Yoongi says. He’s sitting cross legged now, his cock fully soft. “And it’ll especially hurt you.”

Hoseok looks at Yoongi in confusion.

“It won’t just be pain from the stretch,” Yoongi explains. He’s talking and blinking slowly. “It’ll hurt your prostate.”

“He won’t touch my prostate,” Hoseok counters.

Namjoon pulls Hoseok closer, hugging him from the side and laying a kiss on his shoulder, trying to provide comfort, reassurance.

“He doesn’t have much choice in that,” Yoongi smiles.

“What do you mean?” Namjoon asks, now confused too.

“Don’t know if you’ve noticed,” Yoongi says. “But you’re really big. Your cock is always around my prostate no matter what. Can’t avoid it.”

“But-“ Namjoon tries before Yoongi cuts him off.

“You’re normally not directly on it until you… do your thing and move around and fuck right into it,” Yoongi says. “But you’re always somewhere next to it. And even if you specifically angle away from it, there’s only so much space for you to move. And quite frankly, angling away from my prostate just means more stretch and so… more pain.”

“I didn’t…” Namjoon says. “I didn’t realize.”

“Wasn’t important,” Yoongi shrugs. “I like the pain, I like the stretch. It’s good for someone like me with a prostate like mine,” Yoongi smiles at Hoseok. “But your prostate is special.”

“I-“ Hoseok looks from Yoongi to Namjoon. “I still want to try at least. Slowly and- and with a lot of prep, but… yeah.”

Namjoon smiles, “Are you sure now is the right time? Don’t you want to do it on a bed?”

“I thought-” Hoseok says, shrugging. “I thought that, you know, because Yoongi already came, and it’s just you and me getting off, that it would actually be the perfect time.”

“How?” Namjoon asks.

“I could focus only on you like this,” Hoseok says. “If it takes a long time then I won’t feel bad about not giving as much attention to hyung.”

“I wouldn’t mind waiting,” Yoongi says softly. “You know that.”

“I know that,” Hoseok says, pauses. “Still…”

“I’ll do it if you really want me to,” Namjoon whispers, cupping Hoseok’s cheek. “But it’s okay if you don’t. You’re not obligated to bottom for me too.”

“I really do want you like that though,” Hoseok says, looking into Namjoon’s eyes. “I wouldn’t ask for it if I didn’t want it.”

Warmth spreads through Namjoon’s chest, and he nods.

“Okay then,” Namjoon smiles and pecks Hoseok on the lips. “Slowly and with a lot of prep, yeah?”

Hoseok nods.

“And you’ll take your time,” Namjoon adds. “I don’t care how eager you get. I want you to feel as little pain as humanly possible.”

“I trust you,” Hoseok says, and Namjoon knows that. He’s known it for four months and for years before that, but hearing it still makes his heart clench in his chest.

“And Yoongi’s gonna help too,” Namjoon says, looking at Yoongi. “I know you’re post-orgasm and all that, but if you have tips or-“

“Obviously,” Yoongi says. He scoots to the corner of the couch at the far side of the wall, places one leg, bent, underneath himself, the other coming onto the floor. “I don’t want him to be in pain either.”

Hoseok smiles sweetly, and Namjoon kisses him because he can’t not.

They kiss like that for a little while, Namjoon with his arms around Hoseok’s middle, lube and condom still in his hands, and Hoseok with his palms wrapped around Namjoon’s neck. Namjoon can feel Hoseok’s eagerness in the movements of his tongue, and it relaxes him just a bit. And when Namjoon tugs Hoseok closer and feels Hoseok’s bare, hard cock bump against his own, he relaxes even more. Feeling how much Hoseok wants this makes Namjoon want to give it to him, to give him everything he wants and everything he doesn’t even know he wants. 

“On the couch on your knees,” Namjoon says, catching Hoseok’s gaze. “Put your hands on the back of the couch for me.”

Hoseok nods and steps towards the couch. Namjoon watches him dropping his pants to the ground and turns around, walks up to Yoongi’s desk. He holds the lube and condom in one hand and opens a drawer with the other, taking out a pack of wet wipes. When he turns back around, Hoseok is right where Namjoon told him to be, naked, his knees spread, back arched, makes Namjoon want to drop to the ground and lick him too.

Hoseok’s head is turned to Yoongi, and Yoongi is watching him right back. They’re having some kind of moment, Namjoon can see that, and he doesn’t want to interrupt. He does wish he knew what was going through their minds right now. They keep holding eye contact even when Namjoon gets back to the couch and places everything he has in his hands onto it.

He drags his palm down Hoseok’s spine but turns to Yoongi first, pulling out a wet wipe and wiping his stomach before Yoongi’s come dries on it completely. That seems to bring Yoongi out of whatever stupor he was in, and his eyes smile at Namjoon as Namjoon works on cleaning him. When he’s done, he presses his lips to Yoongi’s briefly and finally turns to Hoseok.

Normally, he would work Hoseok open slowly, tease him with the tip of one finger, then push it in, add a second and maybe a third. Right now though, after coating four fingers in lube and dragging those fingers over Hoseok’s hole a couple times, he slides two fingers in right away. He doesn’t want to hurt Hoseok. Never. But Hoseok needs to know what he’s asking for, the kind of pain he’ll have to endure. And to Hoseok’s credit, Hoseok doesn’t complain. He hisses, and his fingers dig into the back of the couch, but he lets Namjoon work those two fingers in quickly and harshly, and then does the same when Namjoon pushes in the third.

Maybe there’s something different about this too. Him and Hoseok in the middle of foreplay when Yoongi has already finished. This doesn’t happen either. They’re always together, always come in short spans of time one after the other – one still in the afterglow while the other is falling into orgasm. They’re still together technically, but Yoongi is only watching. Sleepy. Only half there. And maybe that constitutes as some kind of rule violation too, because it feels more like it’s only Namjoon and Hoseok who are having sex right now, not all three of them together.

Overthinking. That’s what he’s doing. There’s no rule violation. They’re all here together. Maybe they should have talked about his and Hoseok’s kiss before having sex, just to help him clear his mind a bit. He shouldn’t be thinking about any of this right now anyway. He should be fully focused on Hoseok and Hoseok’s reactions. And it’s not like Yoongi left or anything, he may be sleepy, but he’s still watching them intently, eyes always open and on them.

Hoseok is doing well. He’s taking three of Namjoon’s fingers all the way in, all the way out, pushing himself back onto them like it’s easy for him. Though Namjoon knows for a fact that three is usually not. Regardless, Namjoon leans down, kisses Hoseok’s spine, and rubs his pinky against Hoseok’s rim.

“Four fingers?” Hoseok asks. “Really?”

“Yes,” Namjoon whispers, running his hand comfortingly down Hoseok’s spine. “Are you ready or do you need some more time?”

Hoseok stops moving his hips and clenches around Namjoon’s three fingers.

“I’m ready,” Hoseok breathes.

So, Namjoon places his fourth finger next to the other three and slowly but strenuously stretches Hoseok some more. Hoseok doesn’t even hiss this time, just breathes deeply and steadily, forcing his body to open up for Namjoon.

“You’re doing so good,” Namjoon says, and Hoseok whimpers. “Opening up so beautifully.”

Hoseok takes Namjoon’s four fingers at his own pace, slowly inching himself onto them, wider and wider the more he takes. Namjoon keeps an eye on him but turns to look at Yoongi as well.

Yoongi’s eyes are open, observing Hoseok, but then they catch Namjoon’s. His cock is still soft. Namjoon can’t help but look at it. Such a pretty, lovely, delicate looking cock. Especially soft like that. It twitches under Namjoon’s gaze, and Namjoon’s surprised, didn’t think Yoongi had it in himself to get it up another time. But then Yoongi runs his own hand down his chest, down his thigh, and brings his fingers to his own balls, gently touching them.

“Oh, hyung,” Hoseok breathes suddenly, and Namjoon realizes he’s watching Yoongi too.

Hoseok’s hips are still moving, riding Namjoon’s fingers. He hasn’t taken them all the way, but he’s close, and Namjoon wants to tell him that he’s doing a good job for that, but he’s a bit distracted by the way Yoongi’s cock twitches again.

“Are you gonna get hard again?” Hoseok asks.

Yoongi nods slowly, “For you.”

He looks at both of them when he says it. Hoseok moans and clenches around Namjoon’s fingers, and Namjoon remembers his own cock suddenly, fighting the urge to say something stupid like, ‘See? I knew you’d be good for me’.

When Namjoon pulls his fingers out, Hoseok whimpers, his hole gaping for a few seconds before clenching tight again.

“Up,” Namjoon says, tugging on Hoseok’s hips, getting him off the couch. “Get on me.”

Hoseok nods, his fingers scrambling to get Namjoon’s shirt, jeans and underwear off before Namjoon sits onto the couch and pulls Hoseok on top of him. Hoseok’s hand finds Namjoon’s cock immediately, but Namjoon moves it away from him and shakes his head, wrapping his arms around Hoseok’s torso and bringing Hoseok into a deep kiss.

He allows Hoseok to lead the kiss, letting him rub himself against Namjoon’s cock as Namjoon reaches for the condom that he dropped beside them, trying to open it. He’s confused for a second when the condom packet leaves his hands, but then he realizes that it’s Yoongi, helping him. Namjoon keeps kissing Hoseok, tangling his fingers in Hoseok’s hair as Yoongi rolls the condom onto Namjoon’s length, then slicks Namjoon’s cock up with lube.

When Hoseok’s lips leave his, and Namjoon opens his eyes, he sees that it’s Yoongi who pulled Hoseok away from him, his lips coming together with Hoseok’s. Yoongi’s cock is still soft but less than before, and this is better. It feels better when all three of them are in it.

“It’s not gonna be that different than your first time with me,” Yoongi tells Hoseok, cupping his cheek. “Just don’t rush.”

Namjoon rubs Hoseok’s sides comfortingly, and Hoseok nods, bracing both hands on Namjoon’s shoulders. Namjoon’s about to reach for his own cock when Yoongi’s fingers wrap around it, lifting it, placing the tip against Hoseok’s hole and rubbing it a few times, teasing Hoseok.

And then Hoseok bears down and… nothing. The very, very tip of Namjoon’s tip goes in and that’s it. Hoseok’s eyebrows furrow. He makes a noise like he’s in pain. Yoongi kisses Hoseok’s temple, and Hoseok tries to bear down again. Still nothing. He’s frustrated. It doesn’t take much to see it.

“Shh,” Yoongi whispers, pressing his forehead to the side of Hoseok’s head. “Relax.”

“I am relaxed,” Hoseok shoots back, though he’s clearly not.

“Okay,” Yoongi says patiently, brings his hand up under Hoseok’s chin to hold the other side of Hoseok’s head, pressing himself to Hoseok. “Push against it.”

“What?” Hoseok asks. Namjoon runs his hand over Hoseok’s side, the other wrapping around Hoseok’s thankfully still hard cock.

“Push like you wanna shove it out,” Yoongi whispers. “Then shove yourself on it.”

Hoseok looks doubtful, but then his eyes squeeze shut, his jaw tightens, and he’s going down. His stomach muscles are tense with effort, and he’s not breathing, but he’s going down, almost the whole of Namjoon’s tip breaching him.

“Take a deep breath,” Yoongi instructs, and Hoseok does, then pushes himself down again.

When Namjoon’s tip pops inside, Hoseok cries out. His fingernails dig into Namjoon’s chest so hard Namjoon knows there will be marks there, but he can’t bring himself to say anything. Not now. Not when he can tell how much pain Hoseok is in.

“Fuck,” Hoseok exclaims. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“That’s it, that’s it, doing great,” Yoongi says, and Hoseok doesn’t even respond to the praise. “The worst part is over.”

Hoseok whimpers, and his eyes open. There are tears in them. Holy shit, there are tears in them. Namjoon springs forward to hug Hoseok before he can think better of it, his cock shifting inside Hoseok, and Hoseok cries out again.

“Oh, shit, shit, I’m sorry,” Namjoon says. Namjoon wraps his palms around Hoseok’s neck. “Do you wanna pull off?”

Hoseok shakes his head frantically, “It’s okay.”

“You’re crying,” Namjoon argues, watching a tear roll down Hoseok’s cheek.

“It’s okay,” Hoseok repeats, then takes a deep breath.

“Seok… Baby…” Yoongi whispers, wiping the tear off Hoseok’s cheek. “You’re doing great.”

Hoseok whimpers, his eyes closing, nuzzling his forehead against Yoongi’s. He takes a few deep breaths as Yoongi kisses his cheek, his temple, and then his eyes open once again, and he looks calmer. Another deep breath, and he pushes himself down again. He goes maybe an inch lower, not more, and then stops.

“You’re so big,” Hoseok chokes out.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon whispers.

Hoseok huffs out a laugh, “Sorry for having a big dick?”

“Sorry for hurting you,” Namjoon says, brushing Hoseok’s cheeks with his thumbs.

Hoseok smiles, “You’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” Namjoon argues.

“Okay, you are,” Hoseok agrees, still smiling. “But I’m happy right now.”

Yoongi smiles too, his eyes opening and glancing at Namjoon. And Namjoon is still worried, he really, really is, but they’re smiling at him. They’re smiling, and how can he be unhappy when they’re happy?

He wants to lean forward and kiss Hoseok, maybe kiss Yoongi on the way as well, but he’s concerned about jostling Hoseok, so he doesn’t move. Hoseok is the one who moves, lowering himself another inch on Namjoon’s length. He rises slowly then, pulling up to the crown and going back down. His eyebrows are drawn, jaw clenched. He’s so fucking tight around Namjoon that Namjoon has to move his hands from Hoseok’s neck to his hips, squeezing them hard because- just because.

Hoseok keeps moving slowly like that, up and down, first few inches of Namjoon’s cock inside him. His face goes slack, but it looks controlled, like he’s forcing his features to relax.

“How’s your prostate?” Yoongi asks.

“Sensitive,” Hoseok whispers, still with that blank expression on his face.

“Yeah, I know,” Yoongi smiles. “Does it hurt though?”

Hoseok nods, “Yeah.”

“Is the pain from the stretch getting easier at least?” Yoongi asks.

“No,” Hoseok answers, taking Namjoon a bit deeper, almost half of the way.

“Not at all?” Namjoon asks.

“Maybe a little,” Hoseok says. “Burns a little less, I think.”

Namjoon can help. He knows what he can do to help. Something one of the girls he slept with taught him once. But he’s worried. Maybe he shouldn’t. It’s more pain before it’s more pleasure. He moves one hand from Hoseok’s hips down between his legs, ghosts the tip of one finger over the stretched skin of Hoseok’s hole, and Hoseok whimpers.

Namjoon picks up the lube and opens it, pouring some onto his fingers. He spreads it around Hoseok’s hole, making it even slicker, then traces his rim gently.

“You trust me, yeah?” Namjoon asks.

Hoseok nods immediately. No hesitation.

“Yoongi,” Namjoon says. “Kiss him.”

Yoongi looks at Namjoon suspiciously for half a second, but then something seems to click. Maybe he understands that Namjoon is not really asking for him to kiss Hoseok, but that he’s asking to distract him. So, Yoongi kisses Hoseok, and Namjoon presses against Hoseok’s hole, forcing a finger inside alongside his shaft.

Hoseok gasps, tearing himself away from Yoongi.

“What the fuck, Namjoon,” Hoseok exclaims, eyebrows furrowed deeply, teeth clenched, hissing. “Namjoon, fuck, too much, too much.”

Namjoon pulls his finger out. Yoongi looks surprised, concerned. Hoseok is gasping, but Namjoon keeps calm. As calm as he can. Reassuring. When confusion comes across Hoseok’s features, Namjoon can see he’s succeeded.

“It hurts less now,” Hoseok says, but it sounds like a question.

“Are you asking?” Namjoon asks.

“No,” Hoseok answers, moves his hips up and down a bit more sharply. “It hurts less now. What did you do?”

“Showed you that your body is capable of taking more,” Namjoon says, rubbing one palm over Hoseok’s side, the other wrapping around Hoseok’s shaft. “It’s supposed to make the pain of just my cock seem a bit less in comparison.”

Hoseok picks up the speed a bit. He doesn’t take Namjoon any deeper, but the slack features of his face are starting to contort with what Namjoon hopes is pleasure.

“Where’d you learn that?” Yoongi asks.

“First girl I ever had anal with showed me that,” Namjoon says, stroking Hoseok’s shaft.

Hoseok moans, and it might be the most beautiful sound Namjoon’s ever heard.

“Feels better?” Namjoon asks, rubbing his thumb over the head of Hoseok’s cock.

“Yeah,” Hoseok moans, and the next time he lowers himself he takes Namjoon deeper. “Hurts a lot less now.”

“Thank fuck,” Namjoon exhales, leans forward and kisses Hoseok.

Hoseok smiles into the kiss, “Were you worried about me?”

“Worried is an understatement,” Namjoon answers, stroking Hoseok more firmly, his other arm pulling Hoseok closer.

Yoongi threads his fingers into Hoseok’s hair, his other hand taking hold of his own cock, still somewhat soft. Namjoon wants to replace Yoongi’s hand with his own, but he also doesn’t want to let go of Hoseok, so he prioritizes and holds onto Hoseok for the time being. He does look at Yoongi though, looks at Yoongi’s lips until Yoongi notices and presses his own lips to Namjoon’s.

It’s a short kiss, but still, after it’s over, Namjoon feels like he can focus better. He keeps one hand constantly around Hoseok’s shaft, but with the other hand, he helps Hoseok move, controlling Hoseok’s speed while still letting Hoseok decide the depth.

“Yoongi,” Hoseok says, sticking out his lower lip. “Get hard for us.”

“Trying,” Yoongi says, stroking himself.

“Succeeding?” Hoseok asks.

Yoongi huffs out a laugh, “Yeah, in a minute.”

 “I think I get it now,” Hoseok says.

“Get what?” Yoongi asks.

There’s a pause, and Hoseok pushes himself farther onto Namjoon’s cock.

“His cock is so good,” Hoseok whispers, smile tugging on the corners of his lips.

Yoongi laughs, and Namjoon can’t help but smile a bit too.

“Like, it feels so big,” Hoseok says, eyes closed. “And I know I’m not even close to taking all of it.”

“You’re almost there,” Namjoon says. “A few inches left.”

“Really?” Hoseok asks, lighting up.

Namjoon smiles and nods.

“Can you just push it in?” Hoseok asks. “Like, quickly?”

“That would hurt you,” Namjoon says. “Why would I do that?”

“Because I asked you to,” Hoseok answers, and Namjoon has no reply. “I can take it. I know I can. Getting it in little by little makes the pain last longer, I think.”

“Are you sure? One hundred percent?” Namjoon asks, removing his hand from Hoseok’s cock in favor of bringing Hoseok closer to him, chest to chest.

“Yes,” Hoseok says, wrapping his arms around Namjoon’s neck. “Just force it in. Give it to me.”

“Becoming masochistic like Yoongi,” Namjoon comments, and right when Hoseok takes a breath to answer, Namjoon pulls him down, bringing his hips flush against Namjoon’s thighs.

Hoseok gasps, then moans.

“Fuck. Shit,” Hoseok exclaims. “So deep,” he moans again. “So fucking deep, oh my god.”

His hole twitches around Namjoon’s shaft, squeezing and releasing it, and then he starts shifting his hips on Namjoon’s thighs, taking deep breaths in and letting long moans out. His eyes are watering again though, and Namjoon isn’t sure what to do about it, so he just wipes the tears off Hoseok’s cheeks.

“Just ignore it,” Hoseok says.

“What?” Namjoon asks.

“The tears. Just-” Hoseok says, then moans again, “-just ignore them. I feel good. It feels good. It does. Just- prostate- oversensitive.”

“You like it though?” Yoongi asks, and Namjoon notices that the hand Yoongi has on his cock is moving faster now. He’s hard again. God.

“Yeah,” Hoseok chokes out. “It still hurts, but yeah.”

Hoseok squeezes around Namjoon again, and heat shoots up Namjoon’s stomach. He pulls Hoseok as close as he can, starts rocking inside Hoseok and grunts.

Hoseok smiles, “Do I feel good?”

“Fuck,” Namjoon exclaims. “Of course you feel good. You always feel good.”

“I like it when you grunt like that. Like you can’t help it,” Hoseok says, lifting and lowering himself. “You do that a lot when you fuck Yoongi.”

“Yeah… It’s really attractive,” Yoongi breathes, tip of his cock flushed pink once again. Namjoon licks his lips. He wants it in his mouth.

Yoongi stands up then, braces his hands on the back of the couch and gets on his legs beside them, his hard cock right at the height of their heads. And Namjoon doesn’t know, he has no clue how Yoongi read his mind, but Yoongi is stepping just a bit closer and bringing the tip of his cock right up to Namjoon’s lips.

Namjoon kisses it, licks it, listens to Yoongi whimper, maybe still a bit sensitive from the previous orgasm, maybe getting close to the next one, Namjoon isn’t sure. It’s an overwhelming rush of sensation, hearing them both moan, making them both feel good at the same time, and Namjoon has to close his eyes. Just for a moment. He keeps kissing Yoongi’s shaft, unsure if he should focus on that or on grinding up into Hoseok. He ends up unable to focus on either.

Heat pools in his lower belly then runs up his spine, all the way up to his neck, and he realizes he’s a bit too close to orgasming, so he hugs Hoseok harder and pauses his movements.

“Sorry,” Namjoon says, taking a couple deep breaths, Yoongi’s cock bumping against his lips. “Give me one second.”

He keeps his eyes closed as he pulls back from the edge, but when he hears tiny kissing sounds from right in front of him, he has to open his eyes again. He thought maybe Yoongi bent down and started kissing Hoseok when he wasn’t looking, but no, Yoongi is still standing tall above them. The noises are coming from Hoseok doing as Namjoon did and kissing Yoongi’s cock. Namjoon watches for a few moments and then joins him.

They care for Yoongi’s cock together, each one of them taking a side, synchronizing their licking so they both go down and up at the same time. Namjoon’s tongue crosses the ridge of Yoongi’s crown, drags over the soft, soft skin of the head, and then feels a different kind of softness when his tongue meets Hoseok’s.

Yoongi’s tip is still right up against Namjoon’s cheek as he locks lips with Hoseok. Dirty. Wet. That’s what it feels like, Hoseok starting to roll his hips on Namjoon’s again, his cock bumping against Namjoon’s stomach. Namjoon licks Yoongi’s tip, and Hoseok does too, their tongues occasionally brushing together. When Namjoon wraps his lips around Yoongi’s head, Hoseok moves to lick at Yoongi’s shaft, then to suck Yoongi’s balls, and Namjoon can feel that telltale heat spreading up his spine again.

It’s hard to hear properly with the sudden rush of blood in his ears, but he listens, he listens carefully and hears Hoseok’s voice breaking on a moan, hears Yoongi starting to whimper. Hoseok’s noises are still laced with pain, but he’s grinding on Namjoon harder now, and Namjoon knows that these motions definitely have his cock rubbing over Hoseok’s prostate.

Yoongi’s noises are small, quiet. There’s something like pain in them too. Oversensitivity maybe. Namjoon takes Yoongi’s cock deeper into his mouth, and Hoseok, despite the moaning, still makes sure to lick and suck Yoongi’s balls. And Yoongi doesn’t have to say he’s close. Namjoon can hear it in the sudden loudness of his whimpers, can taste it in the saltiness of his precome, can see it in the way Yoongi’s balls tighten under Hoseok’s tongue. Yoongi doesn’t have to say anything for Namjoon to know.

“Joon,” Yoongi chokes out, warning Namjoon, fingers threading into Namjoon’s hair. “Namjoon.”

Yeah, Namjoon knows, and he sucks harder, fully ready for the first spurt of come that shoots up into his mouth. There’s not as much as there usually is, maybe because it’s Yoongi’s second orgasm, and Namjoon swallows as best as he can, but he still feels a bit sliding past the corner of his lips. That’s okay though, because as soon as Yoongi pulls his cock out of Namjoon’s mouth, Hoseok licks Yoongi’s come off Namjoon’s lips.

When Yoongi’s knees buckle, one of them hits Namjoon’s forearm hard enough to snap Namjoon back from the edge of his own orgasm, and then Yoongi drops onto the couch beside them, pulls Hoseok away from Namjoon and licks into Hoseok’s mouth.

Yoongi’s hand sneaks between Hoseok and Namjoon’s bodies and cups Hoseok’s balls, tugging on them, making Hoseok spur back into action, fuck himself onto Namjoon’s cock, and Namjoon’s is, once again, holding back from coming.

“Come on, baby, you can go harder,” Yoongi whispers against Hoseok’s lips. ‘Baby’. That’s new. “Come on.”

Hoseok whimpers, head lolling back, tightening around Namjoon’s cock so hard his movements slow down. So, Namjoon lifts his own hips up, shoving in deep. He knows he’s straining his muscles, but he can’t even feel it because of how close he is, how good he feels, and it doesn’t matter anyway because Hoseok is moaning, loudly, meeting each one of Namjoon’s thrusts.

Yoongi’s fingers are still on Hoseok’s balls, just on his balls, not touching his cock, but the tip is wet anyway, precome dripping, smearing onto Namjoon’s stomach, and then a tear slides down Hoseok’s cheek and-

“Harder,” Hoseok urges. “Please, please, harder, please.”

So, Namjoon braces his back against the couch and shifts his cock deeper, harder, sharper, more angled to where Hoseok needs it.

“That’s- that’s it,” Namjoon grunts. “Taking my cock so well,” Namjoon thrusts particularly hard, and Hoseok cries out. “Fuck. Come for me, Seok. Come for us.”

But it’s Namjoon who comes first, unexpected, heat washing over him, breath punched out of his lungs, though he keeps fucking into Hoseok, again and again and again, until Hoseok is clamping down on him, gasping, moaning, voice breaking and coming right there with him, spilling between their chests, cock still untouched, Yoongi’s fingers finally letting go of his balls.

Namjoon is exhausted by the time it’s over. His head lolls against the back of the couch, and he’s too tired to pull out of Hoseok. And Hoseok seems to be too tired to do it as well, his hands finding purchase on Namjoon’s chest, forehead pressing against Yoongi’s forearm, body occasionally shuddering with aftershocks as the minutes tick by, squeezing weakly around Namjoon’s length. Yoongi rubs his palm over Hoseok’s scalp, and Hoseok gasps, then sighs.

“Fuck, I’ve never cried so much during sex in my life,” Hoseok exclaims, laughing weakly. “What the fuck?”

“The power of horse cocks,” Yoongi pats Hoseok’s back, and Hoseok bursts out laughing.

“Don’t call it a horse cock,” Namjoon whines.

“What,” Yoongi exclaims. “I’m only stating facts.”

Hoseok laughs harder, squeezing tightly around Namjoon’s cock.

“Oh, man,” Hoseok’s eyebrows furrow. “My hole is gonna gape so wide, isn’t it?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t like i-“ Yoongi starts, but a knock on the door has him stopping.

It has them all stopping, and Namjoon and Hoseok both panic, but Yoongi is calm.

“It’s okay,” Yoongi says. “We got a few minutes. Pretend not to hear and get dress-“

But then the door is opening, it’s opening, and Yoongi visibly freaks out.

“-open,“ they hear Seokjin’s voice a second before light pours in through the hallway, and Seokjin’s body appears through the door. “Yoongi, we gotta go home-“

Seokjin sees. Seokjin freezes. Namjoon freezes. Everyone freezes.

There’s a moment of silence.

“What the fuck?” Yoongi almost shouts, looking at Hoseok and Namjoon. “Why the fuck is the door unlocked?”

“I locked it!” Hoseok protests. “I swear, I punched in the key code and everything.”

Meanwhile, the door is still open, Seokjin’s eyes and mouth are both open too, and Namjoon can imagine what this looks like to Seokjin right now – his best friends naked, tangled, sweaty. There’s Hoseok’s come on Namjoon and Hoseok’s stomachs, and Namjoon can feel a few lines burning on his chest where he knows Hoseok left scratch marks. So Namjoon can imagine it. He can. He wishes he couldn’t.

“Oh, fuck,” Yoongi exhales. “It’s my fault. I changed the code two weeks ago.”

“And didn’t tell us?!” Hoseok yells.

“I was tired!” Yoongi shoots back. “I forgo-“

“Shut up,” Seokjin cuts in quietly, and Yoongi and Hoseok’s mouths snap closed, eyes wide. Namjoon’s eyes widen too. Seokjin’s face is expressionless. Deadpan. That was aggressive. For Seokjin, it was too aggressive. “I’ll be outside,” Seokjin says calmly. “Get dressed. Get out. I’m calling an emergency group meeting.”

“It’s too late for a meeting,” Namjoon protests quietly. “They’re probably sleeping.”

Seokjin’s eyes widen in disbelief, “They will wake up.”

Namjoon cannot say anything, and it seems that neither can Yoongi and Hoseok. Seokjin’s mad. He’s so unmistakably mad. It’s so clear on his expression, or lack thereof, that it’s scary. It’s hard to get Seokjin mad. It’s really hard to get him mad.

He gets out of the studio and closes the door behind himself. The three of them look at one another for a few moments, say nothing, a solemn kind of acceptance settling in, then they start moving. One upside is that at least Namjoon got so soft so fast, it’s not too difficult for Hoseok to pull himself off his cock. He hisses anyway but acts like he feels nothing, quietly getting off the couch and onto his feet, swaying and almost losing his balance before Yoongi catches him.

It’s not like this was unexpected. Well, it wasn’t planned either, but they knew it could happen. They’ve talked about it more than enough times. Maybe they talked this scenario into existence. They should have told the others.

Namjoon stands up too, grabbing the pack of wet wipes off the couch and wiping his stomach with one, then Hoseok’s stomach with another. Hoseok doesn’t protest, but he isn’t really accepting of it either. He’s acting weird. They all are. It makes sense to be acting weird. So, maybe that makes it not so weird.

The afterglow is gone as if it never happened. They dress quickly and efficiently, and Namjoon feels bad when he sees Hoseok limping a bit. The distance is what’s freaking Namjoon out the most. They’ll handle everyone else. No choice about that. But there’s such resolve and coldness in the room between the three of them right now, and Namjoon really doesn’t know how to handle it. It’s never happened before. They’re friends. There’s always affection at the end.

Namjoon digs his phone out of his jeans and looks at the messages.

‘Emergency group meeting. 30 minutes. Kitchen,’ Seokjin sent.

‘Kook is sleeping,’ Taehyung replied. ‘Can’t wait for tomorrow?’

‘No. Wake him up,’ Seokjin sent.

‘okay,’ Taehyung sent, then a few minutes later: ‘is everyone okay?’

Seokjin’s reply comes as Namjoon is looking at his phone, ‘Yeah. If someone wasn’t okay I’d be calling not texting.’

“He called a kitchen meeting,” Namjoon says.

“Damn,” Yoongi exhales, zipping up his jacket. “That serious.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon says. They’re standing too far apart, and both Yoongi and Hoseok are looking at the floor. Something in Namjoon’s chest tightens. “How are we gonna do this?”

Yoongi places his hand on the small of Hoseok’s back, and even Namjoon can see that the movement is hesitant. But Hoseok doesn’t push Yoongi away. Instead, he looks up at both of them, tiredness obvious in every feature on his face. And suddenly Namjoon notices that same tiredness on Yoongi too, and that thing in his chest tightens even more.

“Just…” Yoongi sighs. “Just honesty. We’re just gonna be honest.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon whispers, and Hoseok nods.

“Answer their questions…” Yoongi continues. “Try to explain… as best as we can.”

Namjoon nods, walks up to them and scoops both of them into a hug. Namjoon’s heart is pounding with concern, but they both hug him back, and he feels slightly better. He lets them go and grabs Hoseok’s bag off the floor before Hoseok can so much as reach for it, and when he opens the door, and Seokjin is right there, in the hallway, leaned against the wall, Namjoon is taken aback. His brain didn’t expect that Seokjin would actually be there. 

Seokjin looks up from his phone when he hears them step out, and he’s still angry, Namjoon doesn’t have to look far to be sure. It’s obvious in the way he stands, the way his eyebrows are furrowed, nostrils flared, and Namjoon has to look away because he’s ashamed, ashamed of having angered his hyung so much. Yoongi turns the lights off in the studio then punches an unfamiliar keycode into the panel by the door, locking it. 

“Did you get here by car?” Seokjin asks.

“Yeah,” Namjoon answers. “Hoseok’s. You?”

“Took a cab,” Seokjin answers. “Was planning on taking a cab back. Seok, give me your keys.”

“Why?” Hoseok asks.

“Because I’m driving,” Seokjin answers.

“Why?” Hoseok repeats.

Seokjin’s eyebrows rise, “You’re limping. I’m driving.”

In any other circumstance, Hoseok’s blush would be endearing, but now, Namjoon understands how he’s feeling.

They walk in silence towards the elevator at the end of the hallway, and the air is so heavy Namjoon feels like it’s choking him.

“Where’s Jimin?” Namjoon asks once they’re all in the elevator. There’s a considerable amount of distance between all of them.

“Left about half an hour ago,” Seokjin says. “I stayed to practice a little longer.”

“Did you manage to figure out that move at the end?” Hoseok asks.

“Yeah,” Seokjin answers.

And that’s that. Silence until they get into the car. Seokjin at the wheel, Yoongi at the front, Namjoon and Hoseok at the back by the windows. Distance. Too much distance. Namjoon wants them all closer – Yoongi, Hoseok and Seokjin too.

They ride in silence for no more than five minutes until it all breaks down.

Stop being angry,” Yoongi snaps, eyes on Seokjin. “You’ve no right to be angry.”

“I have every right to be angry,” Seokjin shoots back. “Do you have any idea how lucky you were that it was me who walked in there tonight? It could have been anyone else. Anyone else, and then what?”

“Nobody else would have just walked in there,” Yoongi argues. “They would have waited for me to open. They wouldn’t have just walked in.”

“Are you shitting me?” Seokjin snaps, pausing at a red light and turning his head to Yoongi. “That’s your reasoning? That’s the best excuse you have for this recklessness?”

Namjoon feels the need to help, to say something, anything at all, but he doesn’t know what he could possibly say to make the situation better. So, he just watches from the side and acts like the scolded little boy he feels like he is right now.

“It was a mistake,” Yoongi hisses, but his voice is losing its edge. “One mistake.”

“One mistake is enough,” Seokjin deadpans, the light turns green, and the argument ends there, with Yoongi’s head bowed, hands clasped together on his lap, and the tension not even a hint lessened.

Not a single additional word is said until they’re stepping into the apartment. As he’s taking off his shoes, Namjoon looks towards the kitchen. Jimin, Jeongguk and Taehyung are already there, Jimin and Jeongguk sitting at the table. Jeongguk is rubbing sleep out of his eyes, Jimin’s hair is wet, and Taehyung is placing two cups of steaming tea in front of them before sitting down between them on their side of the table too.

Seokjin sits at the head of the table immediately, and Jimin, Jeongguk and Taehyung look at him, confused, concerned, probably both. Yoongi heads for the table next, sitting down to the side of Seokjin, across from Jeongguk, and Namjoon can’t help but feel as if Yoongi is shielding him and Hoseok from Seokjin that way. He sits beside Yoongi, across from Taehyung, and Hoseok sits beside him, across from Jimin.

And then it’s quiet. Jimin, Jeongguk and Taehyung look at each other like they don’t understand what’s going on, which they don’t. Seokjin folds his arms over his chest. Hoseok is looking at his lap, and Yoongi’s jaw is tense, like he’s holding back anger.

“Well?” Seokjin breaks the silence.

Yoongi takes a deep, steady breath.

“Namjoon, Hoseok and I are sleeping together,” he says, and just like that, it’s out there.

There’s no reaction right away, just blank faces, like what Yoongi said is incomprehensible.

“What?” Jimin asks eventually.

“Namjoon, Hoseok and I are sleeping together,” Yoongi repeats, slower this time.

“Like…” Jimin starts, Taehyung and Jeongguk still blank. “In bed… or sexually?”

“Sexually,” Yoongi answers.

“What?” Jimin repeats, looking absolutely bewildered.

“Seriously?” Taehyung asks.

Yoongi faces away, for the first time looking uncomfortable.

“Yeah,” Namjoon answers.

“And you know?” Taehyung asks, looking at Seokjin.

“Found out about half an hour ago,” Seokjin says, “when I walked in on them in Yoongi’s studio.”

“You were… in Yoongi’s studio?” Jimin asks incredulously.

“How did this happen?” Taehyung asks. “When?”

“Hard to explain how it happened,” Yoongi says, scratching the back of his ear.

“Happened because of me,” Hoseok says, looking up.

“It didn’t happen because of you,” Yoongi argues. “We were all there. It was a mutual decision.”

“Yeah…” Hoseok sighs. “But I was still the one who started it.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, “Yeah, and I finished it.”

“Eww,” Jimin whispers, and Yoongi rolls his eyes so hard his pupils straight up disappear for a second.

“When?” Taehyung repeats.

“About four months ago,” Namjoon answers.

“Four months?” Yoongi asks, looking at Namjoon with his eyes wide. “It’s already been four months?”

“A little more, yeah,” Namjoon answers.

“Shit,” Yoongi whispers.

“Shit?” Jimin asks. “Four months?! How have we not known for four months?”

Seokjin’s angry expression drops in favor of a surprised one as well. Apparently, that number was higher than expected.

“Good at hiding it,” Yoongi answers.

“Wait, wait, back up,” Taehyung says and looks directly at Namjoon. “I thought you were straight.”

“I thought I was straight too,” Namjoon answers, blush rising to his cheeks. “I’ve come to accept the bisexual label over the past four months.”

“Huh,” Taehyung breathes, picks up Jeongguk’s untouched cup of tea and takes a sip.

“Wait,” Hoseok says. “Are you not gonna ask me the same thing?”

“Why would I do that?” Taehyung asks.

Hoseok takes a breath to answer then doesn’t say anything.

“You were passively into dudes. It was inevitable,” Jimin tells him with a dismissive hand motion. “You once told me in a club that if I was a girl, you would have sucked my dick. I can put one and two together.”

Hoseok blushes even more.

“Jeongguk,” Namjoon says, and Jeongguk looks up from the table. “You’re… quiet.”

Jeongguk bites his lower lip, thinking. Everyone waits for him to speak.

“I…” Jeongguk starts. “I get why… Jin hyung was mad at you. And I’m kind of mad at you too for… not being careful enough and getting caught, but-“ he pauses again, shrugging. “I don’t think we have a say in what you do… together. Like, all I think we can really say is that you should be more careful, but, I mean… who are we to interfere with love, right?”

And as Namjoon understands what Jeongguk said, silence falls over them.

“Kook,” Yoongi says gently. “We’re not in love.”

Jeongguk tilts his head, “Really? Why?”

“We’re just…” Yoongi continues. “Having fun… as friends.”

“Oh,” Jeongguk looks almost disappointed. “Okay.”

God, Namjoon feels almost like he’s letting Jeongguk down, like he’s destroying Jeongguk’s belief in love or something. And when Yoongi turns to look at him, their eyes locking, Namjoon thinks he can see that exact same feeling in Yoongi’s eyes.

“So, not in love,” Jimin says. “Not dating either?”

“No,” Yoongi shakes his head, and Jimin nods.

It’s quiet again for a few moments.

“Honestly, I-“ Yoongi tries. “I don’t know what else to say.”

“Jeongguk’s right,” Seokjin says, and he looks tired now too. They all do. “About everything except the last part. We don’t have a say in what you do with each other,” he takes a deep breath. “I was angry- I am angry about this mistake, about this carelessness. But you’re not idiots. You understand what the consequences of what you’re doing can be, and I’m sure you’ve learned your lesson, and it won’t happen again.”

Tired as he is, Seokjin looks at them pointedly, and Namjoon and Hoseok nod.

“But, quite frankly,” Seokjin continues. “I’m a little bit impressed that you managed to keep this from us for so long. And… realistically, while I kind of understand why you didn’t tell us, it’s better that we know,” he pauses. “I’d rather you do it at home where it’s safe.”

He looks uncomfortable saying it, and everyone looks a bit uncomfortable hearing it. But he has a point, and no one argues with him.

“Okay,” Seokjin says. “So… an early morning tomorrow… if there’s nothing else, I’m going to sleep.”

When no one says anything, Seokjin stands up, and a few moments later, Jimin, Jeongguk and Taehyung do as well. Jeongguk stops and turns around, looking like he wants to ask something else, but then seeming to decide against it and just walking away. Namjoon, Hoseok and Yoongi stay seated. Honestly, Namjoon kind of expected this conversation to be longer. More questions. More anger. Just more.

“All in all,” Yoongi says. “It was okay.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok breathes, laying his head on the table.

“Sleep now?” Yoongi asks, hesitant. Maybe he feels like this was all a bit too short too.

“We need to talk just the three of us,” Namjoon says, remembering suddenly what he wanted to talk to them about before all this. “Only… can we move to the living room? The kitchen is too formal.”

“Yeah, okay,” Yoongi stands up, and walks to the living room, falling onto the big couch.

Namjoon waits for Hoseok to stand up too, then goes and joins Yoongi, sitting in the middle of the couch, between Yoongi and Hoseok, who joins them on it. They’re not touching. Too far apart.

“I think Hoseok and I broke one of our rules,” Namjoon gets right to the point, wanting it off his chest.

Hoseok and Yoongi look at him in confusion.

“Before Seok and I came to you tonight,” Namjoon explains. “We were alone, and we kissed.”

“Is that…” Hoseok starts. “Does that count as breaking a rule?”

“I’m not sure,” Namjoon answers.

“Actually,” Yoongi says, looking confused. “Seok kissed me this morning in the bathroom. We were brushing our teeth together, and he pecked me on the lips,” he looks a bit bewildered at his own words. “I literally didn’t even realize it happened until right now.”

“That’s not good,” Namjoon says.

“Because it’s against the rules?” Hoseok asks.

“No,” Namjoon answers. “Because I didn’t realize that it happened right away either. And that means that we’re getting too physically comfortable with each other. It’s dangerous.”

“We would never do it in front of cameras,” Yoongi says, and he seems to really believe it. “We’re too well trained, have too much experience.”

“I hope so,” Namjoon says.

“Wait, so,” Hoseok scoots a bit closer to Namjoon, their sides touching, and Namjoon feels ten pounds lighter because of that contact. “Does that count as breaking a rule?”

Namjoon shrugs.

“I don’t think so?” Yoongi says. He leans back against the side of the couch and raises his feet onto it, placing them in Namjoon’s lap. Namjoon lays a palm on Yoongi’s ankle, and that contact is good too. “It’s not… sexual.”

“Umm,” Namjoon starts, his voice lowering automatically. Even though, now, he guesses they don’t have to necessarily be quiet about these things. “Honestly, I think my brain has been rewired so that every time we kiss, my dick wakes up.”

Yoongi huffs out a laugh, “Well, then don’t kiss that hard.”

Namjoon smiles too. He makes a quick decision and scoots up the couch, closer to Yoongi, and Yoongi catches on, one of his feet falling to the floor so that Namjoon could bring his back against Yoongi’s chest. Namjoon motions for Hoseok to come closer, and Hoseok does, laying his own back against Namjoon’s front. Namjoon’s arms wrap around Hoseok’s torso, and Yoongi’s wrap around both of them.

“We can do this now,” Namjoon says. “In the living room. It’s weird.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok laughs. His arms wrap around Namjoon’s on his stomach, and yeah, there’s something weird about doing this in the living room, so out in the open. But, at the same time, Namjoon feels so good being close to them after everything that’s happened tonight, like this closeness was missing after the sex.

“How are you feeling?” Namjoon asks.

“About?” Hoseok asks.

“Physically,” Namjoon clarifies. “I feel like I didn’t take care of you well tonight.”

“I’m okay,” Hoseok says. “A bit sore, but okay. I wanna get better at taking it.”

“You say that about everything,” Namjoon smiles.

“I mean it,” Hoseok says, turns his head and smiles up at Namjoon.

Namjoon runs his fingers through Hoseok’s hair.

“You’re good, you know,” Hoseok says. “I mean, of course you know. But you have… tricks.”

“Tricks?” Namjoon asks.

“Like the thing with the-“ Hoseok says. “With the… extra finger, while you were already…”

“Oh,” Namjoon exhales. “That.”

“That was cool,” Hoseok says.

“That was cool,” Yoongi says. “Wish I knew that the first time I took Nate’s dick.”

“You know,” Hoseok says. “We were so concerned about you not wanting to fuck in the studio that we brought a towel with us.”

“And you know sometimes I shoot so hard it flies over my head,” Yoongi laughs. “A towel wouldn’t have helped. But I appreciate the consideration.”

Namjoon laughs, “You did something new today too.”

“What?” Yoongi asks.

“You called Hoseok ‘baby’,” Namjoon smiles.

“Oh… yeah,” Yoongi says. “It slipped out once, and Hoseok didn’t seem like he hated it, so I said it again. Should I… not do that?”

“No, I liked it,” Hoseok says, laying his head on Namjoon’s chest, getting comfortable.

“Don’t fall asleep like this, Seok,” Namjoon says, running his fingers through Hoseok’s hair again.

“Yeah, yeah,” Hoseok sighs, nuzzling against Namjoon’s shirt.

“Can I call you baby?” Yoongi asks.

“You want to?” Namjoon asks.

There’s a pause, “Don’t know yet.”

“You can call me baby if you like it,” Namjoon says. “Can I?”

“Call me baby?” Yoongi asks.

“Both of you,” Namjoon clarifies.

“Yeah,” Hoseok answers right away.

“Yeah,” Yoongi exhales a moment later, and Namjoon feels Yoongi nodding against the back of his head.  

Namjoon hears a weird rustle sound from the hallway and turns his head to look, only to find three pairs of eyes on them.

“Are you waiting for something?” Yoongi asks.

“Umm,” Taehyung tries.

“You’re all… cuddly,” Jimin says.

Only Jeongguk’s head is visible from behind Jimin and Taehyung. It looks a bit ridiculous.

“You wanna join?” Hoseok asks.

And Namjoon think that yeah, if they wanna join, why not?

“Uh,” Jimin’s mouth opens and stays open. He looks like he’s legitimately considering it, but then Jeongguk shakes his head from behind them.

“Let’s go sleep,” Jeongguk says.

Jimin and Taehyung look at him, and after Jeongguk says something – something Namjoon can’t hear, Jimin and Taehyung cast their eyes down.

“Good night, hyungs,” Taehyung says.

“Night,” Jimin adds, and then they leave.

“We should go to sleep too,” Namjoon says. “Seok is practically asleep on me already.”

“’m not,” Hoseok says into Namjoon’s shirt.

“Baby,” Namjoon whispers, trying out the word.

Hoseok looks up at him with wide eyes.

“Okay,” Hoseok whispers. “Sleep.”

He pushes off Namjoon’s chest and stands up, swaying just a bit. Namjoon is about to get up to when-

“Wait, don’t,” Hoseok says, eyes half closed. “You have to kiss now.”

“Why?” Namjoon asks.

“To even it out,” Hoseok answers, swaying again. “I kissed Yoongi. I kissed you. Now, you have to kiss, but wait till I leave. You have to do it alone.”

“What are you talking about?” Yoongi whispers.

“Just do it for me,” Hoseok says. “It’ll make me feel better.”

“Why do you not feel good?” Namjoon asks.

“No, no, I feel good,” Hoseok says, blinking a few times, waking himself. “I just kissed you and didn’t realize I might be breaking rules, so I feel kinda bad about it. But, I’ll feel better if you kiss.”

Yoongi’s palms run down Namjoon’s chest.

“Okay,” Yoongi whispers.

“Okay. Good night,” Hoseok exhales, then turns around and walks away.

And so, Namjoon is left with Yoongi, lying in Yoongi’s arms.

“You wore him out,” Yoongi says. Namjoon turns his head and scoots back a bit to be closer to Yoongi’s face, inches apart. “You wore me out.”

“Two orgasms,” Namjoon smiles.

“Proud of yourself?” Yoongi asks, teasing.

“Yes,” Namjoon answers honestly. “I wanna rim you more often.”

“You have my permission,” Yoongi says, and his nose brushes against Namjoon’s before he leans in and kisses him.

It’s soft and simple, just a touch of lips before pulling back and looking into Yoongi’s eyes, trying to read them. There’s something weird about doing it alone. There’s something weird about doing it on the couch in their living room where anyone can come out and see.

He kisses Yoongi again despite it all, locking lips and moving them gently against Yoongi’s. This weirdness is not bad. This weirdness is something Namjoon thinks he could get used to.

Chapter Text

Exhaustion. Namjoon blinks his eyes open, grunts, turns off the alarm clock and watches Taehyung waking up in the bed beside him. He’s not sure why he’s so exhausted. Too many emotions the previous day probably. The sex, rimming Yoongi, fucking Hoseok for the first time, Seokjin coming in at the end, then telling their secret to everyone, and then the very, very end of the night, spending a good five minutes kissing Yoongi, all soft and tired.

Taehyung gets up, grabs some clothes, gets out of the room, and Namjoon decides to flop back onto the bed for another few minutes.

By the time he’s finally up with his clothes on and teeth brushed, walking into the kitchen, everyone is already there.

“Coffee?” Namjoon rasps out.

Seokjin, Jeongguk, Jimin, Taehyung, and Hoseok are all at the table, drinking, snacking before the ride, generally still trying to wake up. Yoongi is the only one standing by the counter, and by the looks of it, he only got up to refill his coffee cup.

“I’ll pour you some,” Yoongi says, and pulls out another cup for Namjoon.

Namjoon walks up to him, drops two teaspoons of sugar into his cup as Yoongi pour the coffee into it, and the first sip of the coffee, the first explosion of godlike bitterness on his tongue is so fucking good he groans.

“You’re staring,” Yoongi says all of the sudden, and Namjoon doesn’t really understand what he’s talking about until he turns around and looks at the others.

They’re not all staring. Seokjin’s eyes are half closed, and Hoseok is sitting in a way that his back is to them, but Jeongguk, Jimin, and Taehyung are definitely staring. They’re staring like they’re expecting something to happen.

“Sorry,” Taehyung says. “I think I’m waiting for something to be different.”

“Different how?” Yoongi asks.

“I… don’t know,” Taehyung answers, sipping his tea.

“God,” Yoongi exclaims, clearly annoyed. It’s too early in the morning to be annoyed. “Did you think that- what- all of the sudden we would start fucking each other every morning before breakfast?”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen. Seokjin raises his head to look at them, poker-face in full effect. Taehyung and Jimin look like they have a secret or something, and Hoseok doesn’t even bother turning around, but Namjoon’s pretty sure he can see Hoseok’s neck turning pink.

“Yoongi,” Namjoon says, tries to convey the words ‘relax’ and ‘everything’s okay’. He doesn’t think it’s working.

“Well,” Taehyung says. “Maybe not… fucking.”

“So, what?” Yoongi asks. “Making out?”

“Maybe,” Taehyung says.

“I still don’t really think I…” Jimin starts, “believe it.”

Yoongi doesn’t say anything.

“I look at you and… nothing is different,” Jimin says, eyebrows furrowed. “Which makes sense, I guess. I mean, you did somehow hide it from us for four months. But like-“ he stops for a second. “You don’t have to hide it anymore, so I thought maybe…”

“Maybe we would make out in the kitchen every morning before breakfast,” Yoongi supplies, voice flat.

“Look, I can see that you don’t like me saying that but-“ Jimin says. “It is what it is.”

“We know that you wouldn’t lie about it,” Taehyung says. “Why would you? But-“

“They’re obviously not lying,” Seokjin cuts in. “I’m your very own first-person witness to the fact that they are definitely not lying.”

“Oh, yeah,” Taehyung says. “Forgot about that.”

“What was that like?” Jimin asks.

“What does that question even mean?” Seokjin asks.

“On a scale of one to ten,” Taehyung says. “How traumatized are you?”

“Fifteen,” Seokjin answers immediately.

“Oh, fuck off,” Yoongi says, sipping his coffee. “It wasn’t even like you caught us mid-act.”

Seokjin’s eyes widen, “I’m sorry, were we living two different things?”

“We were done by the time you came in,” Yoongi sasses, and Namjoon blushes. Jeongguk looks like he’s biting back laughter.

Seokjin makes a gagging sound, “Yeah, but you were still all… naked,” he makes a face. “And… together.”

“Yes,” Yoongi agrees. “And we are very hot together, so stop complaining.”

“God, they probably are hot together,” Jimin whispers suddenly, then looks up. “Nevermind. I hate that I just thought that. I don’t wanna imagine that ever again, in my life, again, ever.”

“Always so dramatic,” Hoseok mutters.

“Who bottoms?” Taehyung exclaims suddenly.

“O-kay,” Yoongi places down his coffee cup. “That’s enough,” he says and walks out of the kitchen.

 

It’s like that all the time now, or, more specifically, whenever they’re alone together. Not a single word is said about any of it the second they step out of the house, not risking so much as a cab driver overhearing them talking about it. But once they’re home, out of earshot of anyone else, the questions come pouring in. Apparently, the kitchen meeting from that first day is not over. They just needed time to collect themselves.

“I think it’s just a morbid kind of curiosity,” Taehyung says out of the blue the following day in the evening, as they’re stepping into the house after a long day of doing final preparations for their tour. “Me wanting to… see you kiss.”

“Fucking god,” Yoongi exclaims, taking off his coat. “Taehyung.”

“What?” Taehyung asks, perfectly fucking innocent. They all flock into the kitchen as if they’re starving, Seokjin taking out seven packs of Jajangmyeon. 

“Why morbid?” Namjoon asks.

“What?” Taehyung repeats.

“You said morbid curiosity,” Namjoon explains, leaning back against the counter while Seokjin starts boiling water. “Why morbid?”

Taehyung sits down, Jimin and Jeongguk following him, ever interested. Hoseok and Yoongi stay standing beside Namjoon. Namjoon isn’t sure why, but he imagines the way they must look to the others right now, and he thinks they look… quite defensive. He can sense Yoongi’s agitation with the questions without even looking at him.

“Because…” Taehyung starts. “I don’t think I actually want to see you kiss, ‘cause like, what good would it do me? But at the same time… I want to see you kiss.”

Jimin nods from the chair beside him.

“Yeah, no, that’s not happening,” Yoongi says.

“Why not?” Jimin whines.

“Because nothing’s changed,” Yoongi says, folding his arms over his chest. “You haven’t seen it happen for the past four months, you’re not gonna see it happen now.”

Jimin groans.

“But it’s different now,” Jeongguk mumbles, then immediately turns away.

“Look, I’m sorry that this isn’t what you thought it was,” Yoongi says, looking directly at Jeongguk, and he sounds genuine, but there’s anger creeping in behind his words. “That this isn’t what you hoped it was, but it is what it is, and it’s happening the way it’s happening, and you all just have to-“ he halts, deflates, exhales sharply, and Namjoon fights the urge to hug him. “You just have to accept it.”

“I’m sorry,” Jeongguk whispers.

“Don’t apologize,” Yoongi says, walks over to him, hugs him from the back and ruffles his hair. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Ask whatever you want,” Namjoon says, looks at Hoseok and fights the urge to hug him too. “We’re holding onto the right of choosing whether to answer or not.”

And the conversation ends there.

 

They’re quiet about it for the next couple of days, their schedules too conflicting, and in that time, on the fourth day after their secret came out, Namjoon, Hoseok, and Yoongi have a little session sucking each other off in Hoseok’s studio. Namjoon is honestly grateful that the tension about all of this at home didn’t affect their time together. It’s the same as before the others knew. Just as relaxed. Just as good.

On the fifth day after they told everyone, Namjoon wakes up and walks into the kitchen only to find Yoongi and Hoseok already there, standing close to each other, still half awake, forehead against forehead, the smell of coffee filling the room. He looks at them quietly from the hallway and smiles at how small Yoongi looks, cheeks full and soft with sleep, his head bowed, just a little bit shorter than Hoseok, and at the way Hoseok’s hand is casually lying on Yoongi’s hip, his hair all fluffy and messy. He’s glad they’re using this newfound freedom to be openly close at home.

And when Hoseok runs his hand up Yoongi’s arm and brings it under Yoongi’s chin, and Yoongi tilts his head back and closes his eyes, and Hoseok kisses him, Namjoon just smiles wider.

When Yoongi’s eyes open and find Namjoon, Yoongi smiles too, motions with his hand for Namjoon to come closer, so Namjoon does. He kisses Yoongi on the lips. He kisses Hoseok on the lips. Then he hears footsteps in the hallway and turns to pour Yoongi and himself coffee.

Jeongguk’s body appears first and Seokjin’s follows, and when Jeongguk suddenly halts, Seokjin does too.

“Hey, what’s with the pause?” Taehyung’s voice echoes from behind them, then there’s a gasp. “Are they kissing?” Taehyung pushes past Jeongguk and Seokjin, ignoring Seokjin’s ‘yah!’. “Did they kiss? Did I miss it?”

“We missed it too,” Seokjin says. “Thank god.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, “You’re being an asshole.”

“I’m not being an asshole,” Seokjin argues. “I’m being reasonable. I accept that this is happening, but I feel no urgency to see it. Not again.”

Hoseok, looking at Yoongi, very quickly changes the subject to the best way to work their choreography on their upcoming stage.

 

“Hey, Namjoon hyung,” Taehyung says, exactly seven days after finding out, when they’re all eating dinner together. “Can I ask you an inappropriate question?”

“No,” Seokjin cuts in, and Namjoon snorts.

“Sure,” Namjoon says. He has a feeling he knows what the subject matter will be.

“What’s it like to give a blowjob when you’re straight?” he asks, and okay, Namjoon wasn’t expecting that.

“I think that question might be self-contradictory,” Namjoon says.

Jimin and Hoseok laugh. Yoongi snorts, and Namjoon’s happy. Jeongguk’s looking away with a smile and a blush.

“Besides,” Namjoon says. “There are two people in this house you can ask about blowjobs that will give you a much better answer than me.”

“Yeah, but I’ve already asked Jimin,” Taehyung says. “It’s not interesting anymore.”

Jimin fake gasps, hand on his heart.

“What about me?” Yoongi asks. “I have wisdom to offer.”

Namjoon laughs too this time.

“Yoongi hyung,” Taehyung says. “What’s it like to give a blowjob?”

“It blows,” Yoongi deadpans.

Even Seokjin and Jeongguk laugh at that.

“You’re very interested in blowjobs all of the sudden,” Yoongi comments.

“Ever given a blowjob?” Hoseok asks, a curious glint in his eye.

“Nope,” Taehyung says. “I’m straight.”

“Then why all the blowjob questions?” Seokjin asks.

“Sex is interesting,” Taehyung shrugs. “Interesting to know what it’s like to be on the giving end of a blowjob. And Joonie hyung’s situation is cool.”

“Because I was straight?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah,” Taehyung answers.

“Then,” Namjoon says. “Why are you not asking Hoseok as well?”

“Because he was like half-straight,” Taehyung answers.

Hoseok sighs, dropping his chopsticks into the plate, and Namjoon can tell that all of these comments about his sexuality are starting to get to him. He places a hand on Hoseok’s thigh under the table, trying to comfort.

Apparently, Namjoon’s not the only one who caught on.

“Sorry,” Taehyung says sheepishly.

“It’s fine,” Hoseok says, picking up the chopsticks again, and there’s a bitter tinge to his tone. “Not really a bad thing that everyone knew before I did, I guess.”

There’s silence after that, and Namjoon finds himself holding back the urge to hug Hoseok all over again. He wants to hug him tight and call him baby and apologize.

“It’s not really a bad thing, I know that,” Hoseok says a little later in Yoongi’s studio when Namjoon brings it up. “I’m glad that they- that you… accepted this about me before I even knew there was anything to accept. It’s just… I don’t know, I guess it’s- it makes me feel a little like- like my process of self-discovery was less significant to everyone than it was to me… Less significant than yours,” Hoseok looks at Namjoon, and Yoongi takes his hand, intertwines their fingers. “And that’s like- that’s fine too. It’s supposed to be more significant to me, and it’s fine that yours was more… whatever, but- I don’t know. Whatever. It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter,” Namjoon says, taking Hoseok’s other hand. “And I’m sorry if I said something that made you feel disrespected.”

Yoongi nods, “Me too.”

“It’s not-“ Hoseok tries, shaking his head. “It’s not disrespectful. I don’t know… I’m taking it too hard for no reason.”

“Look, I know that we make fun of each other and tease each other all the time,” Namjoon says. “But if I say something shitty, something that actually offends you… please tell me, so that I know not to do it again.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi says. “And you can tell the kids too, and Seokjin. They love you. We all do. Offending you is not something we ever want to do.”

Hoseok looks down at their hands on his lap and nods. Namjoon and Yoongi both kiss him.

 

“You said you were done by the time Jin hyung caught you,” Jimin breaks the comfortable silence, eight days after finding out, in the living room as they’re waiting for someone to call and say that their car has arrived.

“Oh my god,” Yoongi exclaims. “Is it ever gonna end?”

“No,” Taehyung answers plainly.

“So, you said you were done,” Jimin repeats. “What would you have done if you weren’t done? If he really caught you mid-act?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t want to think about it,” Hoseok says.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Yoongi asks. “We would have stopped.”

Hoseok raises his eyebrows and shrugs.

Yoongi’s face does this surprised-disgusted thing that Namjoon’s never seen it do before.

“Dude, I would have gone soft so fucking fast it wouldn’t have mattered anyway,” Yoongi says.

“Excuse you,” Seokjin speaks up. “Me coming in is no reason to go soft,” he sticks out his chin. “It’s only reason to get harder.”

“I hate that I have this image in my head now,” Jimin mumbles.

“It’s your fault!” Taehyung hits Jimin’s shoulder, and before anything else can happen, they get the call and have to go downstairs.

 

“Can you at least tell us how this started?” Taehyung asks as they’re eating an early dinner together that weekend, the sun having just set, exactly ten days after they found out. Namjoon is sitting between Yoongi and Hoseok.

Namjoon pauses mid-bite.

Everyone is looking at them now. Even Seokjin seems interested. Namjoon looks at Yoongi and Hoseok, who have also stopped eating, and thinks that he wouldn’t mind telling the others this particular bit of information. He can see why they would be so interested in knowing. He would be too. Not really his story to tell though.

“Umm,” Hoseok puts his beer down. “It’s kinda stupid,” he says. Everyone waits.

“You don’t have to tell us,” Jeongguk says.

“Yeah, I know,” Hoseok replies. Yoongi and Namjoon are both looking at him from the side. “Is it okay if I tell them?”

“Fine by me,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon nods.

“Uh,” Hoseok tries again. “I… approached Yoongi one day and asked him to… teach me how to- gay.”

Everyone looks a little confused.

“How to gay?” Yoongi asks, incredulous.

“Sorry, my brain blanked,” Hoseok says. “That was the only thing I could think of.”

“Okay…” Yoongi says, pats Hoseok on the back a few times. “You made it extra weird. And extra confusing.”

“I asked Yoongi to teach me how to give blowjobs,” Hoseok states. There’s a pause. “Because I wanted to do it, but I was too scared.”

“That- weirdly makes sense,” Taehyung says, though it sounds a little like a question. “Like, I can see myself going to Yoongi for advice on how to go down on a girl.”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows rise, his head tilts, and he nods. Yoongi smirks, then fights back the smirk by pushing his tongue against his cheek.

“How did that lead to you having sex though?” Seokjin asks.

“Well,” Hoseok’s voice is really high all of the sudden. “It was a… hands-on… lesson.”

“Mouth-on,” Yoongi corrects.

“Shut up,” Hoseok says, blushing.

“Oooh,” Taehyung exclaims. “Okay,” he snorts. “That’s kinda funny.”

“How in the world did you get Yoongi to agree to that?” Seokjin laughs.

“Begging,” Yoongi can’t hold back that smile anymore.

“I did not beg,” Hoseok argues. “You caved super fucking fast.”

“You were convincing,” Yoongi shrugs. “You had a good argument.”

Namjoon can’t help but laugh quietly.

“Wait,” Jimin says. “So how does Namjoon fit into the story?”

“Namjoon was there,” Hoseok says.

“Why?” Seokjin asks, laughing.

“It made sense at the time,” Namjoon says.

“It still makes sense,” Hoseok exclaims.

“It does still make sense,” Namjoon adds.

“How?” Seokjin asks.

“Think about it-” Namjoon says.

“Don’t wanna,” Seokjin cuts in.

“Think about it,” Namjoon repeats, rolling his eyes. “Doing it alone just the two of them would have been more awkward.”

Silence.

“Okay, I get it,” Seokjin says.

I don’t,” Taehyung says.

“Would have been too quiet without him,” Yoongi explains. “Too intimate. Too real. Talking with Joon made it less awkward.”

“But-“ Jeongguk says all of the sudden, takes a breath, then stops, his mouth hanging open.

“What?” Namjoon asks.

“That still doesn’t explain how…” Jeongguk tries. “A lesson in… doing that-“

“-blowjobs-“ Yoongi cuts in.

“-blowjobs,” Jeongguk repeats, cheeks pink. “How a lesson in… blowjobs turned into-” he motions towards Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon with his hand, “-this.”

“I guess that’s your part,” Hoseok says, turning to Yoongi. “I’m still not entirely sure how it happened.”

Yoongi purses his lips and looks away, touching the back of his neck. Uncomfortable. Why?

“It just happened,” Yoongi says quickly. “We got off with each other, then we had a nice long talk about how awkward we made things, and then we got off with each other again, and that’s it. That’s how it happened.”

So, he doesn’t want to talk about it. Weird.

“So… your solution for making things awkward with sex,” Seokjin says, “was to have more sex.”

“When you put it like that…” Yoongi mumbles. 

“It was just convenience really, wasn’t it?” Jimin asks.

“What do you mean?” Hoseok asks.

“Convenience… and coincidence,” Jimin adds. “A mix of the two.”

“I don’t understand,” Hoseok says.

“Well, it’s convenient to have sex with the people you live with,” Jimin explains, “people you know really well, people who understand your job and the consequences of what you’re doing,” he takes a sip of his own beer, the others starting to eat again as well. “And coincidence because… right place right time kind of deal.”

Namjoon understands where Jimin is coming from with that. He doesn’t agree. But he’s not sure how to explain it. Hoseok’s eyebrows are furrowed, like he’s thinking about it, and Yoongi… Yoongi looks angry again, offended, his eyes narrowed.

“What?” Jimin asks. 

“It was neither convenience nor coincidence,” Yoongi states, voice dangerously calm. “If this was about convenience, then you and I would be sleeping together, as the only two people in this house who were openly attracted to men. If this was about coincidence, about ‘right place right time’, then we would all be sleeping together. How many times have we seen each other naked? How many times have we caught each other masturbating? In none of those times did any of us, all of the sudden, want to sleep with each other,” Yoongi inhales calmly through his nose, then starts speaking more slowly. “The physical attraction wasn’t there right away. Wanting them differently, sexually, wasn’t an easy change. Understanding what that kind of desire can do to our careers wasn’t convenient,” he shakes his head. “Nothing about this was convenient,” he stops. “It’s convenient now, you’re right. Sleeping with people who understand is better than sleeping with people who don’t. But it was not convenience that made this happen. And it was not coincidence either. It was a choice made by all three of us – consciously and purposefully.”

Dumbfounded. That’s what Namjoon feels like. That’s what everyone looks like. Also impressed. Namjoon feels that too. Maybe slightly horny. He wants to kiss Yoongi with every fiber of his being right now.

“Okay,” Jimin says eventually.

“Okay,” Yoongi repeats. He picks up his beer, goes to take a sip, then places it back down, then picks it up again, and back down.

Namjoon lays his palm on Yoongi’s wrist, keeping Yoongi’s hand on the table, and when Yoongi turns to him, their eyes lock. He can’t read Yoongi at that moment, can only see adrenaline in his expression, but as the seconds tick by, Yoongi’s eyes soften. Yoongi pulls his hand from under Namjoon’s then places a palm on Namjoon’s neck, and Namjoon doesn’t even have time to think before Yoongi is leaning in to kiss him.

It’s nothing. Just a peck. A hard peck, maybe longer than a regular peck, but still just a peck. And then Yoongi is pulling away and turning to his food, eyes cast down. He can’t see everyone staring at them, but Namjoon knows that Yoongi can feel it.

The reactions are almost all as expected. Seokjin, Taehyung, and Jimin are surprised. Hoseok is smiling at Namjoon. It’s just Jeongguk’s reaction that catches Namjoon off guard – that little shy smile with the crinkles around his eyes. It makes Namjoon blush.

He looks down at his food as well, and then they just eat.

 

Later that night, after dinner, showers and some alone time, Namjoon collects both Hoseok and Yoongi into his and Taehyung’s room and gets them all into his bed. Not for sex or anything. Just cuddles. Maybe some talking. Hopefully some talking. Taehyung and Jeongguk are settling down to play video games in the living room, and Jimin and Seokjin are both in their rooms. The three of them are not alone in the house, but they have enough privacy behind the closed door of Namjoon and Taehyung’s room, and the circle of light created by Namjoon’s bedside lamp somehow makes the atmosphere feel even more secluded.

Namjoon sits with his back against the headboard and pulls Yoongi and Hoseok beside him. Yoongi takes the middle, sitting, squished, between the two of them. Namjoon throws his arm around their shoulders, and his other hand comes to rest on Yoongi’s chest.

“I’m sorry for my…” Yoongi says, “outburst earlier.”

“Wasn’t an outburst,” Hoseok says, cuddling up to Yoongi, getting one of his legs between Yoongi’s. “And it was justified.”

“It was kind of amazing actually,” Namjoon says. “You managed to put into words what I couldn’t.”

Yoongi nods, “I’m sorry for kissing you in front of them without asking.”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Namjoon says, gently rubbing Yoongi’s side. “I think it’s a good thing.”

“How?” Yoongi asks.

“Maybe we’ll be more comfortable kissing in front of them now,” Namjoon says.

“I don’t think I wanna kiss in front of them,” Yoongi says.

“It’s not about them though,” Namjoon says. “It’s about… if we wanna kiss each other, even just over breakfast or something, we should be able to do that. And now that the barrier is broken, now that they saw, maybe it’ll be easier.”

“How are you so positive about everything?” Yoongi looks at him.

“Not about everything,” Namjoon says. “But I try.”

Yoongi smiles softly, and Namjoon kisses him. Just because. He slots his lips with Yoongi’s and breathes him in, falling into the feeling of Yoongi’s lips against his for a few moments. Yoongi pulls away and nuzzles his nose against Namjoon’s, and Hoseok is right there with them, his lips on Yoongi’s neck. Namjoon wants to kiss him too.

The door opens slowly, and Taehyung and Jeongguk’s laugher floods the room. Namjoon panics for exactly half a second before remembering that they know, that there’s nothing to panic about.

“Oh,” Taehyung exclaims when he sees them. “Sorry.”

“It’s your room too,” Namjoon says.

“We just came in to grab a blanket,” Jeongguk explains. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You weren’t interrupting,” Namjoon says, and Yoongi is warm beside him.

Curious or not, they don’t linger. Taehyung takes a blanket out of their closet and turns to leave without saying another word. Jeongguk uses that time to look at them. He doesn’t say anything. He just looks, something like confusion in his eyes.

“You’re cute together,” he blurts out when Taehyung walks past him and out the door, then he rushes out as well, shutting the door behind himself.

“He’s such a sweet kid,” Yoongi says.

“Yeah,” Hoseok smiles.

“Yoongi,” Namjoon says.

“Yeah?” Yoongi asks, wrapping his fingers around Hoseok’s wrist gently.

“Can I ask you something else about the conversation from earlier?” Namjoon asks.

“Sure,” Yoongi says, laying his head on Namjoon’s shoulder.

“When we were talking about our first time together,” Namjoon says. “About that first time in your studio…”

“You wanna know why I didn’t wanna talk about it,” Yoongi states.

“You don’t have to tell us,” Namjoon places a kiss onto Yoongi’s head.

“I should though, shouldn’t I,” Yoongi says.

“Only if you’re comfortable with it,” Namjoon says.

The three of them are quiet for a while.

“I never really understood what happened that first time,” Hoseok beaks the silence. “I mean… I knew what I came for. I was grateful that you agreed to help. I didn’t know why…”

“I went down on you?” Yoongi finishes.

“Yeah,” Hoseok says. “Like, don’t get me wrong, it was amazing, and I’m really happy that it led to this, but-“

“Yeah, I get it,” Yoongi cuts in. “Didn’t make sense, did it?”

“Not really,” Hoseok says.

“Didn’t make sense to me either,” Yoongi says. “I mean, when we started, it was fine. I had my… little freak-out about you asking to suck my dick just- randomly like that. But it was fine in the beginning.”

“When did it stop being fine?” Namjoon asks gently.

“I’m not entirely sure,” Yoongi whispers, and his eyes focus on some spot on the wall. “After everything happened, and I was finally alone I- kinda had another freak-out. A couple freak-outs.”

“I didn’t know,” Hoseok says.

“You weren’t supposed to,” Yoongi says and takes a deep breath. “You see, the thing is… I consider myself a very rational person, yet, in that moment, I made a very irrational decision. And I couldn’t understand my own actions,” there’s a pause. “It’s stupid-”

“It’s not stupid,” Namjoon cuts in.

“It is,” Yoongi argues. “And it’s too complicated to explain-“

“Try…” Namjoon cuts in again, and Yoongi sighs.

“I barely understand myself,” Yoongi whispers.

“Try anyway,” Hoseok pleads softly. “We’ll try to understand.”

There’s a long pause, and then Yoongi gulps.

“I thought about it for a long time after you left that day, and for the seven days that followed until we had sex again. Really had to… dig in to try to figure myself out,” he whispers, and he’s not looking at them, “because I really didn’t understand. All I could remember from my thought process at that moment was the fact that I was freaking out. I was freaking out, and you didn’t see it, and I don’t think I fully realized just how much I was freaking out either. But I had to keep a strong, confident front, because that’s what you came in wanting from me – a guide.”

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok whispers, and he does look sorry. He looks… hurt and just plain… sad. And Namjoon understands him and pulls Yoongi closer, because just the thought of causing Yoongi pain, of causing him to panic, of missing it – somehow missing his panic, makes Namjoon’s heart hurt.

“It really was fine in the beginning,” Yoongi continues, running his fingers through Hoseok’s hair, his eyes still not on them. “You were nervous about it, and I had to sort of… comfort you, which, in a way, comforted me as well. And Namjoon was talking and making me talk, and making things easier just by being there, but then… somewhere along the way, I think I realized just how vulnerable I was… in comparison to you, in that situation,” he takes a deep breath. “I think it was sometime around… when you asked to deepthroat me… that I realized I was freaking out. And I understand that sex is… about vulnerability in some way. It’s about letting someone see you lose yourself to pleasure. But what we were doing wasn’t really sex, was it? Or at least… it wasn’t supposed to be. It was just supposed to be me teaching you, and you learning, and Namjoon supporting, and that’s it. But it wasn’t like that either.”

“Confusing,” Namjoon mumbles.

“Yeah,” Yoongi breathes, letting out a small laugh, still looking at that wall. “And so we weren’t having sex, but we weren’t not having sex either. It was just me who was having sex.”

“What do you mean?” Hoseok asks.

“I mean, I was the only one with his dick out,” Yoongi explains. “I was the only one getting physical pleasure, I was the only one who was going to orgasm...” Yoongi gasps and steadies his voice, closing his eyes and opening them slowly, refocusing on that same spot on the wall. “I could feel it- I could feel myself getting there even though you asked me not to…” he gulps. “I was alone in that vulnerability, in that… sex kind of vulnerability. And I was going to come. And I was going to come fast, because it’s been so long since I’ve been with anyone, and I was so fucking embarrassed.”

“Why embarrassed?” Namjoon whispers. “We never would have judged you.”

“I know that,” Yoongi says calmly. “I knew that. But at the same time, I didn’t. I’ve never been in that kind of situation with you. I’ve never mixed between friendship, such close friendship, and sex. So I didn’t really know what would happen. I didn’t really know how to act. But I had to stay strong and calm, so I put on a big-ass fake smile, and I pushed through, and I was so fucking happy that neither of you saw through it,” he inhales sharply. “Because I had to be calm. I absolutely had to. Because if I wouldn’t have been calm, Seok wouldn’t have been calm either, and I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if I made him panic.”

“So you let yourself panic instead?” Hoseok whispers.

“I was going to come, and I didn’t want to, and I panicked, and I didn’t know how to stop it,” Yoongi says, not answering Hoseok’s question. “And then all of the sudden, Namjoon was hard, and then you were jerking off, and then- were we having sex then? No? Yes? Everything just got more muddled. And even though at that point, it seemed like we were having sex, I was still in the most vulnerable position. I was still the one with the least control… And I’m not the kind of person to get provoked easily, I’m not, but then you started provoking me, and I let you,” he pauses, takes a deep shaky breath. He’s not looking at them. He’s just not. “But that point I understood, that moment, I understood... I wanted control in that moment. I didn’t realize that it was because I didn’t like being that vulnerable with you, but I understood that I wanted to… change things, that I wanted to be the one with the power. And you gave me a way to do it.”

“By provoking you,” Hoseok supplies.

“Yeah,” Yoongi says. “You gave me an excuse to do it, so I did,” he grimaces. “I reversed our positions. I got you off my dick so I could pull myself back from almost orgasming, and then I put you in the most vulnerable position,” he pauses. “Makes me feel like an asshole thinking about it now.”

“I didn’t really feel that vulnerable,” Hoseok says. “A little, yeah, but… I wasn’t panicking, not with you.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi sighs. “It was just me… Nothing new.”

“And being the one in control made you feel better?” Namjoon asks.

“It didn’t just make me feel better,” Yoongi says. “It created a kind of… equality in vulnerability, between at least two of us, and it made it easier to think of the situation as more sexual than friendly. And then I told you to pull your dick out, and… even though I wasn’t expecting you to do it, I was happy that you did. Because then we were all kind of vulnerable. And once we were all kind of vulnerable… I could make the distinction between friendship and sex more easily. Because it was just sex at that point. Or at least, it was easy to think of it that way. And so I… fell into this sex mindset, and sucking Hoseok became easy, and sucking you was like… the same thing – just sex, and coming was easier too.”

“Why didn’t you tell us about this before?” Namjoon asks.

“Because I didn’t like it,” Yoongi exhales. “I felt stupid for panicking that way. I still do. Everything happened so quickly. All of these emotions hit me so fast I didn’t know what to do with them. I have better control of myself than that,” his voice lowers to a whisper and his eyes close. “But the whole situation was so unfamiliar, and I was really disappointed with how badly I was handling it, with the fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about it, with the fact that we weren’t talking,” his eyebrows furrow, eyes staying closed. “A whole week passed before we talked about it. A week where I knew that you guys were probably not handling it well either. But I was so busy having a stupid mental-fucking-breakdown that I completely ignored your struggles, your sexuality crises, everything,” he opens his eyes and there are tears in them. “I felt like I used you. The experienced, older bisexual who sucked off both of his friends,” he spits out, and a tear rolls down his cheek, “and then freaked out and couldn’t do anything about it.”

Yoongi sniffles, and Namjoon closes his eyes for a second. He can’t watch Yoongi crying. Never could. But especially not now. Not now that he knows. He was so self-centered. So focused on himself that he missed all the stress Yoongi was under, didn’t even think about how difficult that situation could be for him. And he remembers- he remembers how calm Yoongi looked, how quickly he accepted everything that was happening. He remembers Yoongi tugging Hoseok off himself – multiple times, panting, flushed, shaky. He remembers Yoongi smiling – those big, odd smiles. They didn’t seem odd then. But Namjoon wasn’t thinking about Yoongi then. Namjoon was thinking about himself, about the weirdness of the situation. He was thinking about Hoseok’s nerves and about how fucking hot everything was, how everything was affecting himself, not Hoseok, not Yoongi. He wasn’t thinking about Yoongi. Yoongi, who looked so fucking in control of everything. Yoongi, who was so composed. Namjoon didn’t see it. He should have seen it.

So Namjoon’s vision gets blurry because his eyes get wet too, and he gently cups Yoongi’s cheeks, presses his forehead to Yoongi’s, and Hoseok hugs Yoongi tightly. Namjoon feels Yoongi trying to relax his breathing, but he doesn’t know what to do, so he just holds him. And it hurts so bad he can feel pain all the way down to his fingertips.

“I’m sorry, I know none of this makes sense. I know I’m overthinking it. I-” Yoongi whispers eventually, sniffles again. “Such a fucking baby.”

“You’re not a baby,” Namjoon says. “You weren’t the only one responsible. You said it yourself, so many times, this was a decision that we all made together. The responsibility wasn’t only on you,” Namjoon holds Yoongi’s cheeks and looks into his eyes. “I don’t know how you could possibly be disappointed with yourself. Without you, I don’t-” Namjoon watches another tear slide down Yoongi’s cheek. “I don’t know where we would be right now,” he wipes it off. Hoseok nods, nuzzling into Yoongi’s neck. “You held everything together. You were the one who made us get together and talk. You were the one who made us discuss things seriously. I wanted to do it, but I was too chickenshit to do anything, and then you came in… and I looked up to you so much for that. For being brave when I wasn’t.”

Yoongi’s whole face crumbles, and he looks away. Another tear. Another sniffle.

“Baby,” Namjoon exhales, and Yoongi whimpers. “Hyung.”

Yoongi looks at him, and his nose is all pink, and his cheeks are all wet, and Hoseok’s cheeks are wet too, so Namjoon tugs them both into a hug, and his heart breaks.

“I can’t separate between sex and friendship anymore,” Yoongi whispers, gulps, gasps. “And I don’t want to.”

Namjoon pulls back to look at him, wipes his cheeks again.

Yoongi looks down to where Hoseok’s hands are wrapped around him and takes hold of both of them.

“I love you both so much,” Yoongi says, and his voice shakes.

“Me too,” Hoseok whispers so, so quietly, and Namjoon’s heart swells with affection for them like it never has before, a lump forming in his throat.

Talking would hurt so he kisses Yoongi instead, soft and gentle and salty from all the tears. He kisses his lips and his nose and his forehead and temples, and when Yoongi closes his eyes, Namjoon places two soft kisses on his eyelids too. And then Yoongi’s lips find Namjoon’s again, and his fingers thread into Namjoon’s hair, and he pulls Namjoon in hard and whimpers against him. Yoongi’s lips move with so much emotion, so much passion, and Namjoon has never felt weaker.

“Fuck me,” Yoongi whispers against Namjoon’s lips, and Namjoon doesn’t understand why, why now?

“What?” Namjoon asks. It’s unplanned. They’re not alone.

“Please,” Yoongi whispers, and the ‘why’ doesn’t matter anyway, because Namjoon cannot say no to him. Not now. Maybe not ever.

So he kisses Yoongi harder, touches Yoongi’s body and cherishes it more than he ever has before. His tongue meets Yoongi’s, and he hears, from somewhere far inside the house, the sounds of a video game and Taehyung and Jeongguk’s laughter, the sound of the kettle boiling, a door shutting. And then Yoongi whimpers again, and Namjoon can’t hear anything outside this room anymore.

He drops one last, lingering kiss on Yoongi’s lips and untangles himself from the two of them, getting off the bed and locking the door quickly. They’ll have to be quiet. They’ve never had to be quiet. He’s not sure if they can.

When he turns back to the bed, Yoongi and Hoseok are kissing, and the kiss looks passionate despite the wet cheeks and pink noses, maybe because of them.

It’s all a bit frantic after that. Hoseok and Namjoon tug Yoongi’s pants and underwear down and off, and Yoongi is not even really hard yet, which is weird in and of itself, but he tugs Namjoon closer, attempts to shove Namjoon’s pants off and fails until Namjoon takes over and pushes his pants and underwear off himself. Namjoon’s not hard yet either, and he’s not even sure why. He normally gets hard so fast for them. Is it because they’re not alone at home? Is it because this whole situation is so unusually heavy with emotion? He doesn’t know, and it doesn’t matter.

The thought of telling them to be quiet crosses Namjoon’s mind, but he doesn’t do it. They know they should be quiet. And if they decide not to be quiet, Namjoon is okay with that too. All he wants right now is to take care of Yoongi, to wash away every bad feeling with ten times as many good ones. So he doesn’t even hesitate to climb between Yoongi’s legs, both him and Yoongi still mostly soft and still mostly dressed. When Yoongi whispers ‘please’ again, Namjoon lifts Yoongi’s legs and, even though Yoongi asked Namjoon to fuck him, Namjoon goes for something gentler, softer, and rims him instead.

Yoongi doesn’t protest, letting Namjoon do what he wants. He just whimpers quietly into Hoseok’s lips as Namjoon’s tongue runs over his hole with long, broad, hard licks, his nose gently brushing across Yoongi’s balls. Yoongi warns him before he’s about to come with a little whisper of ‘Joon’. He pulls on Namjoon’s hair like he wants to get him off, but his hips push against Namjoon’s tongue like he doesn’t. Yoongi comes untouched just like last time Namjoon rimmed him, Hoseok lifting Yoongi’s shirt so Yoongi doesn’t come on it, though some come gets on it anyway, and when Namjoon looks up, there are unshed tears in Yoongi’s eyes again.

Something feels different. Namjoon can’t pinpoint what it is. But something about Yoongi is different.

Hoseok’s cock is hard and tenting his sweatpants and, at this point, Namjoon is really fucking hard too. That’s doesn’t matter though. Hoseok doesn’t try to pull his own cock out of his sweatpants, just kisses Yoongi’s neck as Yoongi pants from his orgasm. And Namjoon does the same, ignoring his hard-on, because this isn’t about him. And it isn’t about Hoseok either.

“You didn’t fuck me,” Yoongi exhales, voice breathy, shaky. And before Namjoon can say anything- “Please fuck me.”

“But you already-“ Namjoon tries.

“Please,” Yoongi repeats, and Namjoon looks at Yoongi’s soft cock for a moment but reaches for his nightstand anyway.

It’s about Yoongi. And this moment is paramount, because this isn’t about Yoongi the same way all the other times were about Yoongi or about Hoseok or about Namjoon. This is about Yoongi and control, and Yoongi trusting them enough to give up control – to beg, to cry, to share his thoughts and his feelings, and Namjoon understands this. He understands, so he does as Yoongi says and mentally prepares to fuck him despite his instincts telling him that this could be too much for Yoongi, despite Yoongi already having orgasmed, despite Yoongi’s cock being fully soft.

“Can you-“ Yoongi starts and cuts himself off when Namjoon pulls back from his nightstand, lube and condom in his hand. Namjoon lays the condom and lube down and braces himself above Yoongi, then kisses Yoongi’s forehead. “Can you…”

“Anything,” Namjoon whispers.

Yoongi gulps, “Without a condom.”

Namjoon pauses.

“We’re all clean,” there’s a desperate edge to Yoongi’s voice.

“I know,” Namjoon says, kisses Yoongi’s forehead again and glances at Hoseok who seems just as confused as he is. Namjoon hesitates, and Yoongi can probably tell. There’s no real risk to it. They are clean, but going without a condom is not clean, it’s messy, and they’ve purposefully avoided it so far, so what’s changed now? Why would Yoongi want it now?

“I just want to feel you come inside me,” Yoongi whispers, his eyes closed and his cheeks pink, and Namjoon can sense that it wasn’t easy for Yoongi to ask for that. “Both of you.”

“Are you sure?” Namjoon asks, just to be certain – just to be completely certain that this is really what Yoongi wants.

Yoongi gulps, and his eyes open, locking with Namjoon’s.

He nods, “Please.”

So Namjoon does. Him and Hoseok both open Yoongi up on their fingers – first Namjoon with two fingers, and then Hoseok with the third one alongside Namjoon’s two, Yoongi’s cock staying soft as they do. Yoongi whimpers though, quietly and with his lips pressed against Hoseok’s forehead. They’re being quiet. Never been this quiet. And something about the quietness makes each and every one of Yoongi’s noises more intense.

Before Namjoon pushes his cock into Yoongi, he watches Hoseok tug his pants down with one hand just enough to free his cock. Hoseok’s palm wraps around his own shaft, and he strokes, dry and slow, so Namjoon lifts Hoseok’s hand off, pours some lube onto it and makes everything a little slicker for him. Then, with his fingers digging into Yoongi’s thighs, he pushes into Yoongi.

Yoongi’s expression is pain and bliss all at once. His lower lip is caught between his teeth, his eyebrows are furrowed, and a tear slides down his cheek. Namjoon gently wipes it off with his thumb.

“Baby,” Namjoon whispers, pushing in all the way, and Yoongi whimpers. “Baby, you’re doing so well.”

Not wearing a condom is new for Namjoon too. This rawness, this connection, no barriers at all. He’s never done it before. It’s different, more intimate somehow, and Namjoon feels a bit overwhelmed, so he fucks Yoongi slowly and deeply, and Yoongi doesn’t ask for him to hurry. Yoongi’s eyes are closed, his lips are pressed shut, and he’s whimpering and taking deep consistent breaths through his nose but making no noises other than that.

Hoseok runs his fingers through Yoongi’s hair softly, stroking himself under Yoongi’s raised thigh, the tip of his cock leaving a mix of lube and precome on Yoongi’s skin. Hoseok kisses Yoongi, then Namjoon kisses Yoongi, and Yoongi, slowly but surely, gets hard again.

Namjoon is normally fucking Yoongi much harder by this point, but he doesn’t right now. He keeps the pace as slow and as deep as when they started. It might be that the silence is what’s making everything more heightened, the inability to let go even a little bit by making noise, but soon – too soon, Namjoon feels that telltale heat spreading at the pit of his stomach. It might also be that everything is heightened because when Namjoon leans down and rests his forehead against Yoongi’s, Yoongi very adamantly holds eye-contact.

It’s not like it’s the first time they’ve looked into each other’s eyes while fucking, and it always makes things more intense, but Yoongi’s eyes are still shining with tears, and something about him is different. Something about his eyes right now doesn’t make things more intense for Namjoon. Looking into Yoongi’s eyes right now is- it’s painful, and Namjoon wants to look away.

“Joon,” Yoongi whispers. “Please.”

Namjoon does not know what Yoongi is asking for.

“Are you okay?” Namjoon asks, eyes searching Yoongi’s.

“Please,” Yoongi says, and it’s not an answer. “Please come. Please fill me up. Please.”

Namjoon thrusts into Yoongi just a bit harder, bites back a groan, keeps his forehead against Yoongi’s but shuts his eyes. He can’t look at him right now. He can’t. It’s too much. And it’s too painful. And he can’t. And then he feels Yoongi’s palm on his cheek, hears another quiet ‘please’, pushes in deep, holds still and comes.

“Fuck,” Yoongi whispers as spurt of after spurt of come pumps out of Namjoon and into him.

“Feels good?” Hoseok asks, and Namjoon opens his eyes to find Yoongi nodding.

He goes to pull out, but Yoongi holds him in place.

“For one second,” Yoongi whispers. “Keep it in for one second.”

So, Namjoon holds his cock deep inside Yoongi and gently brushes hair away from Yoongi’s forehead.

“Are you gonna come too?” Yoongi asks, turning his head towards Hoseok who is still jerking himself off.

“Yeah,” Hoseok breathes.

“How close are you?” Yoongi asks.

“Very,” Hoseok’s hand speeds up.

“Pull out, Joon,” Yoongi whispers, so Namjoon slowly slides his cock out.

Once it’s out, Namjoon expects his come to start slipping out of Yoongi, but instead, Yoongi’s hole clenches tight. Yoongi raises the leg that’s near Hoseok higher, places the other leg onto the bed, turns his body slightly towards Hoseok and reaches between them, taking hold of Hoseok’s shaft and pulling it close to his hole.

“Come on,” Yoongi urges him. “Inside.”

“Yeah?” Hoseok asks, gazes locking with Yoongi’s.

“Please,” Yoongi nods.

It’s an awkward position, and Hoseok moves his cock around but can’t seem to get Yoongi’s hole, so Namjoon wraps his hand around Hoseok’s and guides his cock there. They only manage to get the tip inside at this angle, so Hoseok has to keep stroking himself even when his tip is already in. Yoongi’s whimpering again, his eyes are now locked with Hoseok’s, and the same eye contact that Yoongi held with Namjoon is now given to Hoseok, and somehow, seeing it from the outside doesn’t make it any easier.

Maybe Namjoon’s wrong. He wants to be wrong. But there’s too much hurt in Yoongi’s eyes, and his breathing sounds more like he’s going to cry again than it does when he’s close to orgasming. Namjoon looks away and down to where Hoseok and Yoongi are connected. Yoongi’s hole is spasming around Hoseok, and Namjoon watches his own come slip out of Yoongi onto Hoseok’s shaft.

Maybe there should be something gross about it, but there isn’t. Namjoon keeps watching and feels an abrupt surge of possessiveness course through him, realizing just how much he likes seeing this. It feels almost animalistic, how right it feels, seeing his come spilling from inside Yoongi and covering Hoseok.

“I’m gonna come,” Hoseok whispers.

“Yes,” Yoongi exhales. “Yes.”

Yes, he should come.

Hoseok stops stroking himself, and a moment later, Yoongi gasps.

When Hoseok pulls out, Yoongi’s hole clenches again, but not for long. It twitches, opening, gaping, and Yoongi lets out a soft ‘ah’ when their come finally spills out.

Yoongi’s still hard, his cock flushed a deep pink, and, while Namjoon is stuck watching Yoongi’s hole, Hoseok’s fingers wrap around Yoongi’s shaft and stroke. Yoongi surges, face scrunching, curling in on himself in oversensitivity, but his hips rise into Hoseok’s fist, and come keeps spilling out of him, and Namjoon wants to- he wants to…

He pushes two fingers into Yoongi, and Yoongi gasps loudly, covers his own mouth with his hand and moans. Hoseok strokes him quickly, and Namjoon keeps his fingers in deep, curling them against Yoongi’s prostate. Yoongi’s eyes shut tight, his eyebrows furrow, a high-pitched, broken whine leaves his lips, and then he’s coming, spilling even more onto his stomach.

He’s panting shakily when it’s over, and Hoseok kisses him, but Yoongi moves away. His next exhale is a sob, and Namjoon’s heart clenches.

Hoseok’s face contorts in concern, and Yoongi inhales sharply and sniffles, another tear sliding down his cheek.

“Hyung,” Namjoon whispers, cupping Yoongi’s wet cheek.

“It’s okay,” Yoongi exhales. “Everything’s okay.”

But he’s crying again.

“Hyung,” Namjoon repeats, desperate.

“It’s okay,” Yoongi insists.

Namjoon doesn’t understand what’s going on, and he doesn’t know what to do, and he doesn’t know how to fix it.

Hoseok places his hand onto Yoongi’s chest and presses his nose into Yoongi’s neck, and Yoongi sniffles. Namjoon looks at them, and that possessiveness strikes through him once again – the need to hold them, to comfort them, to be the one who takes care of them, to keep them from being hurt by anything and anyone ever.

He needs to clean them. Yoongi’s come is drying on his stomach already. Namjoon’s fingers are sticky, and so is Hoseok’s cock. But he doesn’t want to go. He doesn’t want to leave.

“I need to…” Namjoon whispers, gulps. “I need to bring something to clean you with.”

“Don’t,” Yoongi looks at him. “I’ll do it in a little bit. Don’t go.”

“Okay,” Namjoon says, because he really, really didn’t want to.

He stretches his arm towards his bedside table and pulls out a pack of wet wipes. They’ll have to do for now. He cleans off Hoseok’s cock and Yoongi’s stomach without complaint, but when he reaches between Yoongi’s legs-

“Don’t, please,” Yoongi whispers. “Leave it. I’ll do it later.”

So he leaves it and cleans himself off instead. Then he lays down on the bed on Yoongi’s other side and hugs him, holding him close.

Yoongi has stopped sniffling, but his breathing is still shaky.

“Thank you,” Yoongi says after a while.

“For what?” Namjoon asks.

Yoongi doesn’t answer. Namjoon presses a kiss onto Yoongi’s cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi whispers.

Hoseok raises his head to look at Yoongi.

“Why?” Namjoon exhales.

Yoongi shakes his head, “I’m sorry.”

Namjoon wants to know. He wants to ask again. He doesn’t.

So it’s just silence after that, broken every few seconds by Yoongi’s unsettled breathing. Namjoon kisses his cheek again, then his temple, then turns Yoongi’s head with his palm on Yoongi’s cheek to kiss him on the lips. Yoongi lets himself be kissed for a few moments but doesn’t really reciprocate, so Namjoon lets him go.

Namjoon catches Hoseok looking at him with a concerned expression and tries to convey to him that he’s concerned too, that he doesn’t know what’s got Yoongi so shaken either.

A little while later, held in their arms, Yoongi falls asleep, his lips parted and nose pink, his features finally relaxed, the thought of cleaning himself seemingly completely forgotten.

“I’m gonna go get a wet towel to clean him with,” Namjoon whispers to Hoseok, and Hoseok nods.

When Namjoon moves away from Yoongi, Yoongi shifts, but Hoseok pulls Yoongi close and kisses Yoongi’s cheek, and Yoongi simply sighs and continues sleeping.

Namjoon takes an extra blanket out of his dresser and drapes it over the two of them, hiding the still half-naked Yoongi. Then, he quietly drags his underwear and pants back on, turns the lock on the door and steps outside, closing the door behind himself.

When he gets to the bathroom, he looks into the mirror. His hair is messy, and his eyes are bloodshot. He splashes water onto his face, takes a deep breath, calms himself, doesn’t allow himself to start overthinking, wets a towel with hot water and walks out.

On his way back to the room, Jimin sees him. He looks Namjoon up and down, and the smirk that appears on his face lets Namjoon know that he is very much aware of what Namjoon’s been doing. But honestly, Namjoon can’t handle this smirk right now. He doesn’t feel like laughing. He doesn’t feel like getting teased. He needs to get back to Yoongi and Hoseok. So, he walks away without saying a word, hearing Jimin huff out a laugh as he goes.

When he gets back, he closes the door behind himself, leaving it unlocked. Yoongi’s eyes flutter open as Namjoon nudges his legs apart under the blanket and cleans the inside of his thighs, then slowly inches upward towards his hole. There’s no protest when Namjoon cleans there, just a soft, sleep-filled grunt. Namjoon’s not sure if this is enough, if Yoongi’s clean enough on the inside, but he cleans as much as he possibly can.

“Get his pants,” Hoseok says, looking at Namjoon. “Then come here.”

Yoongi lets Namjoon pull his underwear and sweatpants back on, lifting his hips to help, then lets Namjoon take his come-stained shirt off and raises his hands to let Namjoon replace it with one of his own shirts, ignoring the fact that it’s far too big on him. When Yoongi’s finally dressed, he turns onto his side and presses his face into Hoseok’s chest. Namjoon rearranges the blanket on top of them, then joins them under it, draping his hand around Yoongi and Hoseok and nuzzling into the back of Yoongi’s head.

Worry pulses through Namjoon with every breath that Yoongi takes, but eventually, lulled by the silence and by Yoongi and Hoseok’s calm breathing, Namjoon falls asleep.

They all fall asleep.

 

Sleeping doesn’t go by smoothly, because even though his eyes are closed, his mind is awake. He knows he’s sleeping though. It’s just that he can’t stop thinking, the same questions turning over and over in his head: why did Yoongi cry? Why did he apologize? Did Namjoon do something wrong? Did he hurt Yoongi in some way? How does he fix it now?

He thinks about the fact that Yoongi didn’t want to talk to them about his real feelings about their first time together for over four months. The same person who preached communication to be the most important thing in their relationship didn’t communicate. And Namjoon understands why Yoongi didn’t tell them, he understands that Yoongi probably thought it wasn’t that important, that it was irrelevant – that it was something that they fixed once they started talking about everything, and so there was no point in telling them, but- but- Namjoon wishes he knew earlier. He wishes Yoongi had felt safe enough to tell them about it back then as well. Though, he supposes he should be grateful that Yoongi told them at all.

When he finally opens his eyes, sun is shining through the window, and it feels like he hasn’t slept for even one second.

He registers that Yoongi and Hoseok are still in bed with him, and it takes his brain a moment to catch up with the fact that they’ve never spent a night sleeping together in the dorm. When he raises his head and glances at Taehyung’s bed, Taehyung is not there, and Namjoon feels bad that Taehyung probably thought he shouldn’t sleep here because they were here.

For now though, Namjoon lays his head down and goes back to the warmth they’ve created under the blanket, to their smells that are all mixed together. He breathes in, tries to fall asleep again and can’t, but he doesn’t leave either, deciding instead to keep holding these two people that he cares about with all of his heart as close to him as possible.

When the alarm goes off sometime later, Namjoon jerks, and a second after him, Hoseok jerks too. Yoongi just groans. Namjoon doesn’t even remember setting an alarm. Turning over, he finds Taehyung’s phone on his bedside table and turns the alarm off. So, he didn’t set the alarm, Taehyung did, and he must’ve turned the lamp off as well. He didn’t even wake them up for it.

Yoongi shifts onto his back between them, stretches out his legs and looks at the ceiling.

“How are you?” Namjoon asks, wrapping an arm around his middle.

Hoseok throws a leg over both of them, running his fingers through Yoongi’s hair.

“I’m okay,” Yoongi breathes, voice gravelly with sleep. “I’m sorry for… being all weird and… crying so much.”

“It’s okay,” Hoseok says, moving his hand from Yoongi’s hair to rest beside Namjoon’s arm on Yoongi’s stomach.

“Why… were you crying?” Namjoon asks gently.

Yoongi huffs out a laugh.

“I don’t know…” he whispers. “It was… a lot.”

“Too much?” Namjoon asks.

“No, no, I liked it,” Yoongi shakes his head, turning it towards Namjoon, giving him a small smile. “It was great.”

He raises his head and looks over to the other bed.

“Where’s Tae?” Yoongi asks. Quick change of subject. Namjoon doesn’t miss that.

“Don’t know,” Namjoon whispers. “But it was his phone with the alarm clock.”

“Do we have to get up?” Hoseok whines.             

“Yeah,” Namjoon answers. “We have to be in the building in about an hour, and then we have to pack.”

“Remind me where we’re flying tomorrow. LA?” Hoseok yawns, nose scrunching up as he stretches. 

“Mexico,” Yoongi corrects.

“Yeah, Mexico, tomorrow morning,” Namjoon says, and Yoongi sits up. “Mexico City for K-con. We arrive at the hotel sometime around six am, then we get half a day for sleeping, then the second half of the day for rehearsals, then the next day is the performance. Then we get two days off in Mexico City. And then to LA for the big interviews before the tour, and then-“

“We have the first tour shows in LA, right,” Hoseok finishes, sitting up too. “God, I don’t know how you remember everything so early in the morning.”

“I’m probably forgetting something,” Namjoon rubs the sleep out of his eyes, all three of them getting up off the bed.

“You never forget this stuff,” Yoongi says, raising his arms, stretching and yawning. “I could ask you at three in the morning, and you’d still know the exact hour of sound-checks for the next three stages.”

“I think the first sound-check for K-con is at six pm…” Namjoon thinks for a moment, then shakes his head. “Nope. Five.”

Yoongi smiles at him. He looks nice with Namjoon’s shirt on. It’s kind of swallowing him whole, but… yeah, he looks cozy.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Namjoon asks, placing his hand softly on Yoongi’s bicep.

“Yeah,” Yoongi answers, stepping away, Namjoon’s hand falling to his side. “I’m fine. It was just-” a lot, “-a lot,” Yoongi catches Namjoon’s gaze and looks away quickly. “I’m gonna go brush my teeth and make coffee.”

Yoongi walks away, but Hoseok places his hand on Yoongi’s shoulder and stops him. They hold eye contact for a moment before Yoongi’s gaze moves to the wall, and when he pulls away from Hoseok to leave once again, Hoseok doesn’t stop him.

The second he’s out the door, Namjoon turns to Hoseok.

“I don’t know,” Hoseok whispers.

“What happened yesterday?” Namjoon keeps his voice down too, in case Yoongi walks by again.

“I don’t know,” Hoseok repeats.

“He was-“ Namjoon tries. “It was-“

“Yeah,” Hoseok looks at the open door then back at Namjoon.

“He kept crying,” Namjoon exhales.

“Yeah,” Hoseok says.

“It wasn’t-“ Namjoon tires again. “Like, it - it wasn’t normal. It wasn’t… sex- overstimulation crying, it was-“

“Yeah,” Hoseok says for the third time.

He steps closer Namjoon, placing both of his palms on Namjoon’s biceps, grounding him.

“I don’t know what happened,” Hoseok whispers.

“He was having panic attacks, Seok, after our first time together,” Namjoon says, desperate. “Freak-outs. Freak-outs. They were fucking panic attacks.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok sighs, brings one hand up to gently lay it on Namjoon’s cheek.

“How are you so calm about this?” Namjoon urges.

“You think I’m calm?” Hoseok exclaims quietly, eyebrows furrowing in anger. “I’m not fucking calm. I’m worried like crazy about him. But us freaking out is not going to help him,” he raises his other palm to Namjoon’s cheek, holds his face in a way that he can’t look away. “We need to stay calm for him. He’ll talk to us about it eventually.”

“He didn’t talk to us about what happened for over four months,” Namjoon says. “I don’t want him to keep from us whatever this is about for another four months.”

Hoseok closes his eyes for a second, “I don’t want that either. But we can’t push him. You know that. It’ll just make him close off more.”

“I know, but…” Namjoon trails off, not sure what to say.

“Listen,” Hoseok says, and Namjoon catches his gaze. “We can’t let him see how concerned we are, okay? If he sees that we’re freaking out, he’ll go into hyung mode and try to take care of us instead of taking care of himself,” Hoseok holds Namjoon’s head a little harder, and Namjoon nods. “He needs time to think about it, to figure it out, whatever it is. We can’t pressure him into telling us.”

Namjoon nods again, whispers, “I don’t want him to have panic attacks because of us.”

Hoseok’s eyebrows furrow, his lips pressing together.

“Me neither,” he whispers and steps a little closer. “But all we can really do about that is keep talking to him. Not about this. About everything else. Show him that we can communicate normally even after something like this happens,” he pauses, searches Namjoon’s eyes. “It was only that first week, right? When we weren’t talking about it, when it was awkward, right? That’s when it was the worst for him. So, we just have to… keep talking to him… and keep an eye on him. Take care of him quietly.”

“Quietly?” Namjoon asks.

“Quietly,” Hoseok repeats. “Like… make sure he eats, make sure he sleeps, make sure that he doesn’t overwork himself to the point of collapse because he doesn’t want to spend time in his own head,” he says, and Namjoon nods. “Now that we’re going to be flying a lot, I think it’ll be easier to do that.”

“Okay,” Namjoon says.

“Okay?” Hoseok nods.

“Yeah,” Namjoon whispers. “Yeah, no, you’re right.”

Namjoon takes a moment to just look into Hoseok’s eyes. They’re sad. He doesn’t like seeing Hoseok sad.

“What do you think it was?” Namjoon asks gently. “What do you think… why?”

“I don’t know,” Hoseok answers, brushing Namjoon’s cheeks with his thumbs. “It was very… emotional. I don’t think we’re used to that.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon agrees.

“And he was being really…” Hoseok continues, “submissive? Is that the right word? Definitely not used to that. Maybe that’s why… Vulnerability is obviously not easy for him,” he pauses, and Namjoon nods again. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know,” Namjoon shakes his head in Hoseok’s hold. “Just the vulnerability thing.”

“Maybe it was like… a combination of too much… emotionally and physically,” Hoseok tries. “I mean, I cried when you fucked me,” he shrugs, “because it was… a lot... physically… and emotionally.”

“Maybe…” Namjoon whispers. “But it felt different.”

Hoseok nods.

Namjoon looks away.

“Hey,” Hoseok whispers, and Namjoon looks back, meeting his eyes. “We’re gonna be okay,” Hoseok says. “He’s gonna be okay.”

Namjoon nods and takes a deep breath.

Hoseok gives him a small smile.

When Hoseok’s hands start slipping off his cheeks, Namjoon grabs his wrists and keeps them there.

“Thank you,” Namjoon says.

“For what?” Hoseok asks.

“For calming me down,” Namjoon answers.

Hoseok smiles at him, “Don’t need to thank me for that.”

Namjoon smiles too and places his palms over Hoseok’s on his cheeks. He steals a glance at Hoseok’s lips, looks back at Hoseok’s eyes and finds Hoseok watching him, smiling softly, so Namjoon leans in and kisses him.

It’s soft. Chaste. Short. Namjoon lets go of Hoseok’s lips and just keeps their noses pressed together.

“Aww,” Taehyung’s voice sounds in the room, and Namjoon reluctantly pulls away. “That’s kinda cute.”

With a blush, Hoseok turns away. He smiles at Namjoon before stepping out of the room, and when Taehyung looks at Namjoon with a quirked eyebrow and a suggestive smile, Namjoon decides that he doesn’t feel like dealing with it, so he follows Hoseok out of the room and goes to pee.

He washes up and gets dressed on autopilot, and something like fifteen minutes later, he finds himself in the kitchen with Yoongi, Seokjin, and Jeongguk, drinking coffee.

They sit in comfortable silence, Namjoon stealing quick glances at Yoongi every once in a while. Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung eventually join them in the kitchen as well.

“You don’t have to leave the room if we’re sleeping in bed together, you know,” Namjoon says. “It’s your room too.”

Taehyung shrugs, “Didn’t want to interrupt.”

“You weren’t interrupting,” Namjoon argues.

“I know. You were sleeping,” Taehyung shrugs. “But you left two beds unoccupied anyway, so Jimin, Jeongguk and I just had a slumber party in Jimin and Hoseok’s room.”

“A slumber party?” Yoongi asks.

“Yup,” Taehyung smiles. “There were pillow fights in lingerie,” he muses, and Jeongguk snickers. “We talked about our deepest, darkest secrets. We gossiped about a cute picture of our three roommates cuddling together. We-”

“You took a picture?” Yoongi cuts him off.

Taehyung smirks, “Duh.”

“You have to delete it,” Namjoon says at the same time that Yoongi asks: “Can I see it?”

“Yeah, you can see it,” Taehyung ignores Namjoon, unlocks his phone, taps it a few times, then hands it to Yoongi.

Namjoon looks at the photo alongside Yoongi. It really is cute. Taehyung took it before turning off the lamp beside the bed, so the three of them are cast in a soft yellow glow. They all look so calm, so close to each other, Yoongi’s face on Hoseok’s chest, Namjoon’s nose pressed to the back of Yoongi’s neck.

He looks at himself, at the relaxed expression on his face, and remembers how horribly he was sleeping. It doesn’t look like he was distressed. He looks perfectly calm, and so do Hoseok and Yoongi. The picture doesn’t manage to catch everything that was difficult and concerning about that night, and Namjoon… Namjoon finds himself smiling a little despite himself. They don’t have any pictures like this – of them together like that. It’s nice. They look cute together. Yoongi isn’t smiling though.

Hoseok takes the phone from Yoongi and looks at the picture too. There are a couple seconds of no reaction, but then, a barely-there smile appears on his face as well.

Seokjin peeks over Hoseok’s shoulder, says, “Cute.”

Taehyung smiles widely.

“Look like a happy little throuple,” Jimin comments and takes a sip of his drink. Namjoon huffs out a fond laugh, Hoseok smiles, Yoongi doesn’t.

“Throuple?” Jeongguk asks, and Namjoon smiles wider.

“Yeah,” Jimin says. “Like a three-person couple.”

“There’s a name for that?” Jeongguk asks.

“I don’t think you could find it in a dictionary,” Taehyung laughs. “But yeah.”

“They’re not dating though, so they’re not a throuple,” Jeongguk reasons. “They’re a… a… threesome buddies? Like, fuck buddies but with three people.”

“So… fuck buddies,” Taehyung says, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh,” Jeongguk blinks. “Yeah, I guess that’s… yeah.”

Taehyung and Jimin laugh at him.

“You have to delete it though,” Namjoon says once again.

“Why?” Taehyung asks, taking the phone back and looking at it.

“Because if someone steals your phone,” Namjoon starts, “if someone hacks it-“

“Then they’ll find a bunch of pictures of a bunch of us cuddling,” Taehyung cuts him off. “We all cuddle sometimes, this is not a big deal.”

“Yeah, but it looks…“ Namjoon tries. 

“Intimate?” Jimin offers.

Yoongi looks up from his coffee.

“It looks-“ Namjoon tries again, “-different.”

“It looks fine and totally cute, and it’s only one picture, so we’re keeping it,” Taehyung states.

Namjoon looks at Seokjin for assistance, but Seokjin just shrugs.

“It’s one picture,” Seokjin says, shrugging. “There are worse ones on his phone.”

“Okay,” Namjoon exhales. “But just that one picture. Don’t take any more.”

Taehyung sighs, “Fine.”

 

The rest of the day is spent doing final preparations for K-con and final preparations for the tour before they hit the road – figuring out the last details, as many as they can while still in Korea. They get sent home a little earlier to pack, and that’s what they all do, each in their own room, up until the small hours of the night.

Namjoon already had about half of his things packed, knowing that his phone will ring twenty thousand times that day, which it does, so he spends a good portion of his time on the phone, fleshing things out with whoever needs him to flesh things out. He finds himself constantly drawn to Yoongi and Seokjin’s room, wanting to check on Yoongi, make sure he’s doing okay. But he doesn’t want to seem obvious about it either, so he only goes in three times throughout the evening, each time with a different excuse – the first time, he throws a couple snacks at Seokjin and Yoongi. The second time, he brings them both drinks. And the third, he just asks if they’re doing okay.

Yoongi seems fine. Nothing different. Like nothing ever happened. But Namjoon knows better. Doesn’t matter that Yoongi looks at him calmly, and talks calmly, and walks around and packs with slow, calm movements. Namjoon’s remembers the tears from yesterday, and he can sense a little bit of reserve in Yoongi’s body language whenever he gets too close.

Namjoon should be okay with it. It should be okay to give Yoongi space while he’s figuring everything out. But Namjoon doesn’t want to give him space. He wants to smother him with hugs and kisses and make everything better.

They sleep in their own beds that night, and… Namjoon doesn’t really understand why his bed feels a little bigger than normal, a little emptier.

And then morning comes, and they fly.

Yoongi sleeps a full ten hours during the flight, and Namjoon assumes that he probably hasn’t slept all too well the night before either. It’s good that he sleeps during the flight though, he needs the energy. Namjoon and Hoseok sit next to each other, and between naps, Namjoon catches Hoseok glancing at Yoongi as well. They both have the foresight to hold onto some food for when Yoongi wakes up, and that makes them smile at each other.

They get to Mexico City in the morning, and, after their rooms get scanned for cameras and microphones, they all settle into their hotel for the next couple of days. Namjoon manages to sleep for a few hours, then they all have lunch and get driven to the K-con stage for rehearsals.

When night finally comes around, Namjoon finds himself in his hotel room, contemplating sending a text in their special-sex-group-chat. This hotel situation is a good situation, it’s the kind of situation they would use for sex without thinking twice about it. But the group-chat is quiet. Yoongi hasn’t sent a text. Hoseok hasn’t sent a text. And Namjoon is… hesitating. Badly.

‘I feel like this is a good situation for the special group chat but I feel weird rn,’ Namjoon texts Hoseok privately.

‘same,’ is what he gets back.

‘we should wait and see if he texts,’ Hoseok texts again after a few more seconds.

‘maybe he needs space rn,’ another text from Hoseok.

‘maybe he’s sleeping,’ another one.

‘Maybe he’s waiting for us to text,’ Namjoon texts back.

‘maybe,’ Hoseok replies. ‘we should wait anyway right?’

‘Right,’ Namjoon texts back.

Yoongi doesn’t text them that night.

It’s fine. Namjoon isn’t worried about it. Not at all. It’s totally fine. It’s a night before a big performance. He’s thinking about that, not about Yoongi alone with his thoughts in his hotel room. Not about Yoongi possible having a ‘freak-out’ right now. It’s fine. Work comes first. Yoongi’s probably thinking about that. They shouldn’t have sex the night before a performance. They should keep their energy. Yoongi’s choice not to have sex is not about them, it’s is about work. Namjoon should remember to think about work too. He doesn’t sleep too well that night either.

 

Next day – rehearsals, performance, V-live, back to the hotel rooms. No texts in the special group-chat during the day. But that’s fine too. Yoongi’s tired. Namjoon and Hoseok are tired. It makes sense for Yoongi not to text. But maybe Namjoon should text.

‘can you come to my hotel room? my laptop is glitching, I need help,’ Hoseok texts in the special group-chat while Namjoon is about to start contemplating the pros and cons of doing just that.

‘I’m down,’ Namjoon replies quickly.

There are a few minutes of silence then-

‘kinda tired. maybe tomorrow?’ Yoongi texts, and okay, maybe things are not totally fine.

‘sure. sleep well,’ Hoseok sends with a little smiley at the end.

No, it is fine. Namjoon was right. Yoongi’s tired after the performance. It makes total sense that he wouldn’t want to have sex tonight. It not abnormal at all that now is the very first time one of them refuses sex even though there are perfectly good hotel rooms available for doing it. This has nothing to do with what happened three nights ago. Nothing. Namjoon’s not worried. He doesn’t sleep very well though.

The following night, Yoongi texts.

The whole day passes without so much as a word about it. They’re all a bit stuck in their hotel rooms during the day, not going out but also not bothering each other. Namjoon sends a couple texts in their big group-chat, reminding everyone to not forget to order food and eat. He’s… never actually sent that kind of text before. Fuck knows that they do not forget their food. But… Yoongi might forget to eat. The text was mostly meant for Yoongi. Namjoon just sent it in their group chat instead of privately to not be obvious about his concern. He feels better seeing Yoongi’s ‘thumbs-up’ emoji pop up in the chat. And he feels much better when he gets a private text from Hoseok saying that he saw foodservice roll up to Yoongi’s hotel room. And when night comes around, Yoongi texts them in the special group-chat.

They meet at Hoseok’s hotel room at ten thirty pm, and Yoongi is very… excited. Very excited. The minute they’re all locked in the room, Yoongi pins them both against Hoseok’s bed and kisses them like he’s starving. He doesn’t let Namjoon or Hoseok prep him for too long, gets on all fours with Namjoon behind him and Hoseok in front of him, speaks dirty words into the heavy air – “fuck me hard,” “fuck me so hard with your big cock.” It’s dirty-talk, yeah, they like talking dirty. But. No pet names. No ‘please’. It’s all very… physical. Only physical. Reminds Namjoon of the first time they fucked in Hoseok's hotel room. 

It’s not like it’s… bad. The orgasms are good. They’re all panting when it’s over. It’s just not… like before. It’s very… impersonal. Like a hookup. And that feels… wrong.

“Fuck,” Hoseok exclaims, breathing heavily, dropping down onto the bed beside Yoongi.

“That was really good,” Yoongi says, looking up at the ceiling and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, his cock starting to soften.

Namjoon throws the condom out and lays down on Yoongi’s other side. He winces. God, he might have pulled a muscle. Hoseok throws a leg over Yoongi’s torso.

“My room for sleeping?” Namjoon turns onto his side.

“Uh… Do you mind if actually- umm,” Yoongi starts then takes a breath. “I wanna write a little more tonight.”

“What?” Hoseok asks, facing Yoongi.

“I- uh, I wanna write some more,” Yoongi repeats. “You can go… sleep… together in Namjoon’s room, that’s fine, I’ll- uh, go to my room.”

“Yoongi,” Namjoon exclaims.

Yoongi turns his head towards Namjoon, “What?”

Namjoon looks at him in disbelief, “You can’t just do this.”

“Joon,” Hoseok whispers, capturing Namjoon’s gaze over Yoongi’s torso. Namjoon ignores him.

“You can’t shut us out like this,” Namjoon says, laying his palm on Yoongi’s arm. “Please, talk to us.”

There’s silence for a few seconds.

“Nothing to talk about,” Yoongi says eventually, and if Namjoon hadn’t known him for so many years, he would have believed him. “Everything’s fine.”

“Yoongi,” Namjoon says again, and he can hear the desperation in his own voice. He turns over onto Yoongi, fitting his leg between Yoongi’s, knowing that he’s almost… trapping Yoongi in this position, but he can’t stop himself.

“What?” Yoongi asks again, softer this time, holding Namjoon’s gaze.

“Please…” Namjoon whispers. There’s silence again, and Namjoon can see recognition flicker over Yoongi’s eyes, can tell that Yoongi is choosing not to say something, choosing to keep it from them. And Namjoon should be okay with that too, Yoongi’s allowed his own secrets, but this is about them as a trio, not just about Yoongi, so Namjoon is not really okay with it. “Please.”

“I don’t know what you want,” Yoongi whispers.

Namjoon closes his eyes, lets out a sigh, feels his eyebrows pulling together. His eyes open again, and he cups Yoongi’s jaw with one hand, his other braced between Yoongi and Hoseok. Hoseok gently wraps his fingers around Namjoon’s wrist, nuzzling into Yoongi’s neck, his eyebrows furrowed as well.

“Whatever it is… it’s okay,” Namjoon says, lets Yoongi hear how desperate he is. “Whatever it is, you can tell us.”

Yoongi looks into his eyes, whispers, “Can you kiss me?”

Namjoon is so confused with him. He doesn’t understand, but he kisses him anyway.

He kisses Yoongi so softly, so fucking tenderly, trying so hard to show Yoongi how much he cares, how much he loves him. He can be open with Namjoon. He’s safe with Namjoon. And with Hoseok as well. Yoongi whimpers, so Namjoon kisses him a little bit harder, parting his lips, brushing his thumb over his cheek. There’s something about the nakedness, the soft kissing with soft, spent cocks, Namjoon likes it. It’s such a strong contrast to the franticness of the sex from before. And this kiss in particular… feels right, it feels like the Yoongi that he knows.

When Yoongi moves away from Namjoon’s lips, he turns to Hoseok, and he and Hoseok both move towards each other at the same time. They kiss softly too, and Namjoon watches them and feels his heart clench.

“Whatever it is,” Hoseok whispers against Yoongi’s lips, “I promise you,” Hoseok looks into Yoongi’s eyes, “whatever it is that you’re feeling, you’re not alone in it.”

Yoongi stares into Hoseok’s eyes for a moment then shakes his head.

“You’re not,” Hoseok insists. “You’re never alone.”

“Don’t leave,” Namjoon pleads.

Yoongi looks at him, swallows, then nods, his facial features relaxing forcefully.

Namjoon turns the lights off with the little remote, lays back down beside Yoongi, pulls the blanket over them all, then presses up close to Yoongi, his eyes adjusting to the darkness. He wants to ask more, to pressure Yoongi to speak, but he won’t. He doesn’t. Yoongi won’t say anything until he’s ready. Namjoon’s just glad Yoongi agreed to stay. He’s glad that he can show Yoongi that he’s not alone, even if Yoongi might think that way.

“The bed is gross,” Yoongi complains. “I came on it,” Namjoon laughs into Yoongi’s shoulder even though it’s not really funny. “I think I can feel it under my leg.”

“Shut up,” Hoseok whispers, and Yoongi laughs breathily.

They get to sleep naked for once. That’s nice. Can’t do that when you’re sneaking between hotel rooms because one of you doesn’t like the idea of sleeping on come-stained sheets. Namjoon doesn’t mind though. It’s kind of nice to have his soft cock pressed to Yoongi’s bare thigh.

“Do you have plans for tomorrow?” Namjoon asks. Tomorrow’s their final day in Mexico City.

“Not really,” Yoongi answers, shrugging. “Sleeping. Writing. I might do some pushups.”

Namjoon smiles into Yoongi’s shoulder.

“Jimin told me he wants to go dancing,” Hoseok says. “One of his friends recommended some small, secluded club to him. He’s set on going there and getting laid. Invited me to come with him.”

“Are you going?” Yoongi asks.

“I think so,” Hoseok answers. “I miss clubs. He told me to ask you if you wanna come too.”

“I’ll pass,” Yoongi says.

“Why?” Hoseok asks. “You haven’t been out in a while as well.”

“’Why’?” Yoongi repeats. “What do I have to look for there?”

“It’s not about looking for something,” Hoseok says. “It’s about a change of atmosphere. You used to like going out to clubs.”

“I used to like going out to clubs because going out to clubs got me laid,” Yoongi says. “I never liked the whole… dancing part of it. I prefer bars.”

“Yeah, I know,” Hoseok says. “Still…”

“Don’t want to try to get laid now?” Namjoon asks, unsure where the words came from, or where this accompanying wave of uneasiness came from either. Yoongi hasn’t slept with anyone else since they started this whole thing. Namjoon and Hoseok haven’t either, but, technically, according to their rules, it’s allowed. Namjoon’s not sure why the thought of Yoongi sleeping with someone else kind of makes him… uncomfortable.

Yoongi doesn’t answer, just lays there, blinking into the darkness. Namjoon can practically see the gears turning in his head.

“Honestly, I haven’t really thought about it,” Yoongi says after a while. “Are you gonna go?”

Namjoon takes a moment to think. Does he want to go to a club? Yes and no. A change of atmosphere would be good, but Yoongi’s right, clubs have never been Namjoon’s kind of scene either, and if he doesn’t plan on trying to pick someone up, then… what’s the point? But then he thinks of Jimin and Hoseok there, and then he thinks of Jimin getting laid, and then he thinks of Hoseok maybe getting laid and, yeah, maybe a change of atmosphere would be good for him. He should go just to keep an eye on the two of them, make sure they don’t get too drunk a day before flying.

“I’ll go,” Namjoon decides.

“Really?” Hoseok lifts his head, and even in the darkness, Namjoon can see how much Hoseok’s eyes had lit up.

“Yeah,” Namjoon smiles.

“Cool,” Hoseok breathes then lies back down. Namjoon wants to kiss him. He’s gonna kiss him.

Namjoon rises up a bit then leans over Yoongi’s torso to reach Hoseok, and when Hoseok sees what Namjoon’s doing, he lifts himself a bit too, making it easier for Namjoon to get to him. They lock lips, and Hoseok smiles into the kiss.

“I’m really excited to go actually,” Hoseok says, still smiling. “I miss dancing in clubs.”

“You and Jimin always kill it there,” Namjoon says, and Hoseok smiles wider.

“Yoongi’s also pretty good at clubs once he gets off his ass,” Hoseok says, facing Yoongi.

“Oh, no, I’m not going,” Yoongi says. “You can’t convince me.”

“Come on,” Hoseok whines. “You’ll have fun there. It’ll be a good distraction. We’ll dance together.”

“Saying we’ll dance together is not the thing that’ll make me wanna go,” Yoongi protests.

“Then what will?” Hoseok asks.

“Nothing,” Yoongi huffs out a laugh.

“You’ll get to watch me and Joon dance,” Hoseok says, voice suggestive. “I’ll grind all up on him. It’ll be hot.”

Yoongi laughs again, “Tempting, but no thanks.”

“I’ll grind all up on you as well,” Hoseok rolls his hips against Yoongi’s thigh, biting Yoongi’s ear playfully.

Yoongi smiles, “Yes, public indecency is definitely the way to convince me.”

“It’s not gonna be indecent,” Hoseok says, dropping a kiss onto Yoongi’s neck. “It’ll be classy grinding. Tasteful grinding.”

“My boner will definitely be indecent,” Yoongi says, turns to face Hoseok and captures his lips in a kiss.

Hoseok opens his lips against Yoongi’s, inhales through his nose and deepens the kiss for just a few moments before taking Yoongi’s bottom lip between his teeth, pulling and releasing it.

“God, why do I like kissing you so much?” Yoongi whispers against Hoseok.

“I’d like to think I’m pretty good at it,” Hoseok says, a smug tinge to his voice.

“Meh,” Yoongi scrunches up his nose. “You’re decent.”

“Yeah, well, you’re horrible at it,” Hoseok says seriously, then smiles widely.

“Ouch,” Yoongi deadpans, smile on his lips too. “I’m offended.”

“You should be,” Hoseok nods. “Your lack of kissing ability is offensive to both me and Joonie.”

Yoongi laughs silently, his chest shaking, eyes creased at the corners.

“Honestly, it’s a disappointment every time,” Hoseok continues, little laughs interrupting his sentences. “The absolute worst kisser.”

Yoongi smiles wider, his eyes locked with Hoseok’s. God, Namjoon loves seeing them like this.

Yoongi’s smile recedes slowly, until there’s only a hint of it left. He brushes a bit of hair off Hoseok’s forehead, then looks at Namjoon.

“Let’s sleep,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon nods, lying back down.

“Can you turn around, hyung?” Hoseok asks. “I wanna spoon you.”

And Yoongi turns to Namjoon without protest. Hoseok’s arm wraps around Yoongi’s middle, and Namjoon rises just a bit higher on the pillow so that Yoongi could cuddle up to his chest, then drapes his arm over both of them. Their legs tangle under the blanket, and yeah, Namjoon likes sleeping naked with them. 

There’s a bit of movement between Namjoon and Yoongi’s chests, and Namjoon looks down to find Hoseok fitting his hand into Yoongi’s, their fingers interlocking. Namjoon places a kiss onto the top of Yoongi’s head, tightening his hold on them a little bit. His two babies. He’s so happy Yoongi didn’t leave. So happy.

Yoongi falls asleep very quickly, his breathing evening out, but it takes Hoseok and Namjoon a bit longer. Their gazes lock above Yoongi’s head at some point, and despite all the lightheartedness from before, now that Yoongi is asleep, Hoseok’s eyebrows are furrowed with worry. They hold eye contact, and Namjoon doesn’t know if he succeeds, but he tries to show Hoseok that he shares that worry with him.

Hoseok falls asleep eventually too, and Namjoon is left alone with his thoughts. He decides he can’t keep this up anymore, this… taking care of Yoongi from afar. He can’t do nothing while it seems that Yoongi is only getting further and further away. Who knows how long it’ll take Yoongi to open up? If he ever does. Namjoon needs to reassure him somehow, to give him the confidence to speak. If this is really about vulnerability, if Yoongi feels like what happened before the flight somehow crossed a line, Namjoon needs to show him that it didn’t cross a line. Or better yet, Namjoon needs to show him that it’s okay to cross lines with them, that being vulnerable with them is safe. Namjoon feels safe with them. He’d do anything with them.

No matter how much Namjoon thinks about it though, the solution doesn’t present itself, and somehow, even though his thoughts are still running a hundred miles an hour, when Namjoon finally falls asleep, he sleeps well. The best night’s sleep he’s had since before the flight.

 

The feeling of someone softly tracing their fingers on his chest is what wakes him up the next morning. He assumes it’s Yoongi and keeps his eyes closed, trying to figure out if there’s any pattern to Yoongi’s movements, if he’s drawing something, writing something. It feels, for a moment, like he’s tracing lines, letters maybe, but Namjoon can’t figure it out.

When he opens his eyes, Yoongi stops, like he was caught doing something he shouldn’t be. Yoongi’s eyes are tired, his hair is messy, lips are pink, cheeks a little puffy. Namjoon smiles sleepily. Hoseok is still sleeping, pressed against Yoongi’s back, so Namjoon stays quiet in fear of waking him up. Yoongi doesn’t say anything either. It’s rare for Yoongi to wake up before them. Actually, Namjoon doesn’t think it’s ever happened before. He wonders how long Yoongi’s been awake.

The silence drags on as they look at each other, and when Namjoon realizes that Yoongi is not going to resume doing what he was doing before, Namjoon motions for him to come closer, brings Yoongi’s head onto his chest and closes his eyes, running his fingers through Yoongi’s hair silently for who knows how long until Hoseok wakes up.

“Morning,” Hoseok rasps out, turning over onto his back and stretching, before rolling over and draping himself over both Yoongi and Namjoon. “How’d you sleep?” 

“Really well,” Namjoon says. “You?”

“Like a baby,” Hoseok answers, pushes himself onto his hands and leans over to peck Namjoon on the lips, then does the same to Yoongi.

He climbs out from under the blankets and struts over, naked, to the foot of the bed, standing sideways to them, then raises his arms in the air and stretches, his back arching.

“Fuck,” Namjoon exclaims quietly, appreciating the curve of Hoseok’s ass, and Yoongi laughs breathily from his spot on Namjoon’s chest.

“What?” Hoseok turns to them, and god, his soft cock is one of the prettiest things Namjoon’s ever seen.

“Nothing, just…“ Namjoon says, “you’re gorgeous.”

Hoseok stares at him blankly for a second then bites his lower lip, blushing.

“No disagreement on my part,” Yoongi says and rolls off Namjoon.

He throws the blanket off himself, leaving Namjoon mostly covered, then gets up on all fours and crawls to the foot of the bed, back arched, pink hole and soft balls all on display, and fuck. Just- fuck.

“Fuck,” Namjoon voices, and Yoongi looks at him over his shoulder, smiling, then faces Hoseok again.

Hoseok comes closer to the bed, and Yoongi rises to a kneeling position and places both of his palms on Hoseok’s chest, looking up into his eyes. Taking a step closer, Hoseok presses himself to Yoongi, his hands coming down to Yoongi’s ass, squeezing.

“Morning sex?” Hoseok asks. “I’m up for that.”

“Yeah?” Yoongi whispers, his own hands dragging down Hoseok’s stomach and turning until they find their place on Hoseok’s ass. “Want me to fuck you?”

“Kinda wanna fuck you,” Hoseok says, slapping Yoongi’s ass playfully.

Yoongi lets out a soft noise at the slap, and Namjoon’s hand starts making its way under the blanket to his cock. Morning sex. Haven’t done that yet.

“I mean, my hole is still sensitive from Joonie last night but,” Yoongi says, “I’ll let you.”

And just as Namjoon’s hand wraps around his soft shaft, his phone rings, snapping them all out of it.

Namjoon reluctantly lets go of himself and reaches for the bedside table. A meeting. Their manager wants them for an unplanned meeting in an hour. Namjoon almost complains that it’s inhumanely early for a meeting when he realizes that it’s not even morning anymore, it’s almost one pm, and they missed breakfast.

Truthfully, Namjoon almost says fuck it to the food because Hoseok and Yoongi are still naked, and he feels like he should do something about that. But then Yoongi’s stomach makes a noise, and yeah, food wins over. All seven of them go to the meeting in their manager’s room, and he lets them know that there was a screw up with the measurements for one of the tour costume sets, so they have to be readjusted as soon as possible, and that tomorrow’s flight got postponed two hours, and then he gives them the updated phone numbers of their security guards in case they want to go somewhere tonight. They all stay to get the costumes remeasured. Nothing new, nothing that hasn’t happened before, but definitely things that needed to be done.

He spends his day continuing his contemplations from last night and trying to write lyrics, very quickly realizing that he can’t do both at the same time. What can he do to make Yoongi feel comfortable enough to talk?

Honestly, when the solution hits him, it seems like it should have been obvious.

Vulnerability. That’s what scares Yoongi, that’s why he didn’t talk to them after their very first time together, and that’s why he’s not talking to them now. It has to be. So, to make Yoongi realize that being vulnerable with Namjoon and Hoseok is okay, even to that extreme degree, Namjoon has to show Yoongi that it’s okay by being vulnerable himself.

Now, the question is how to do that. But the solution is quite simple as well. What makes Namjoon a little nervous? What makes him feel vulnerable? What has he considered multiple times since they started sleeping together but has never actually done?

Bottoming. That’s the solution. Every time he’s thought about bottoming for them, he hesitated. So, that’s exactly what he’s going to do.

Does it make him nervous? Yes and no. Yes, because all he really has to go on in terms of bottoming is that one experience with the girl who fingered him, with only one finger, and that wasn’t a particularly good experience. And also because he’s not sure how much he’s actually interested in doing it. Yoongi and Hoseok mentioned that they want him to bottom a few times when they had just begun sleeping together, but they haven’t mentioned it much lately, and Namjoon hasn’t brought it up either. He can’t say that the thought of bottoming makes him overly excited, but that’s not the point.

The point is that no, he’s not nervous, because it’s Yoongi and Hoseok, and he trusts them and feels safe with them. And he’s openminded enough to try – once. Maybe he’ll like it, maybe he won’t. Yoongi and Hoseok sure like it, there must be a reason for that. Who knows, maybe he’ll suddenly understand the magic of it all. And even if he won’t, even if they try, and he straight-up hates it, the point will still be put across – vulnerability is okay, and talking about it is okay too. So, he’s going to do it.

Maybe he and Hoseok will come back to Yoongi from the club tonight, and Namjoon will offer, see how they react.

Oh, shit. He has to prepare for that then. Clean himself and… god, should he try fingering himself in the shower or something, to see what it might feel like? Oh. He really is nervous about it. That’s perfect! Maybe. For a second there, Namjoon thinks his logic may be a bit backwards somehow, but then he shakes that thought off. The point still stands that the most important thing is to get Yoongi to open up – that’s the goal. And if Namjoon allowing himself to be a little vulnerable will help get a bit closer to that goal, then it’s worth it.

It’s not like he’s scared anyway. He’s nervous, not scared. There’s a big difference.

He also realizes that he’s a bit lacking in knowledge. He’s never really thought to ask Yoongi or Hoseok about how to prep for anal sex, like, when you’re on the receiving end of it. He knows… a little bit about it, but not nearly enough to do it to himself.

His first thought is to go ask Yoongi. Yoongi would tell him. No problem. But asking Yoongi means letting Yoongi know that he’s considering doing it, and he doesn’t really want to get Yoongi’s hopes up if there’s even a single chance that he might chicken out. Same goes for Hoseok. The internet is an option, but he’s not sure how reliable it is, and he has too little time to sift through all the information. And he really doesn’t want to mess up on the cleaning part.

So, that’s how he finds himself at knocking on the door to Jimin’s hotel room.

“Hey, hyung,” Jimin says once he opens the door.

“Got a minute?” Namjoon asks.

“Sure,” Jimin says, and Namjoon steps into his room. “Hoseok hyung told me you were going out with us tonight. Which pair of pants do you think is better?”

He holds up a pair of skin-tight light jeans and a pair of skin-tight leather pants.

“Which one is easier to get off?” Namjoon asks, and Jimin bursts out laughing.

“They’re both equally difficult to get off,” Jimin says. “Which one makes my ass look better?”

Namjoon hums, sitting down on Jimin’s bed, “The leather.”

Jimin squints at the leather pants, pursing his lips, then nods, “So. What’s up?”

“Uh,” Namjoon starts. “I need your help.”

Jimin drops the pants onto the bed and turns to Namjoon, silently urging him to continue.

“I wanna…” Namjoon blushes then bites the bullet. “What’s the best way to prep for anal sex?”

Jimin blinks at him for a couple seconds. He looks like he’s processing.

“Hmm,” Jimin squints. “Didn’t think you were a bottom.”

“Well, I haven’t… been-” Namjoon stammers, “-so far.”

“Ooh, okay,” Jimin smirks. “Why are you asking me and not Yoongi or Hoseok then?”

“Because…” Namjoon sighs. “I’m not- I’m not one hundred percent sure- like, I wanna try doing it, but I’m not-“

“You’re not sure you’re ready?” Jimin offers.

“Pretty much, yeah,” Namjoon sighs. “I don’t wanna get their hopes up.”

“Okay,” Jimin says, sitting down on the bed beside Namjoon, one foot under his ass. “And since this is not your first time having anal sex, I assume the ‘prep’ you’re referring to has to do with cleanliness rather than fingering.”

“Yup,” Namjoon says, blushing again.

“Can’t say I ever imagined myself having this conversation with you,” Jimin says, “but, let’s do it. What do you want to know?”

“Umm…” Namjoon tries. “Everything?”

Jimin giggles, “Okay. I’m gonna ask you some weird questions now.”

“Okay,” Namjoon says, thankful that Jimin is so on board with this conversation.

“When was the last time you pooped?” Jimin asks.

Namjoon inhales, pauses, thinks ‘fuck it’, “This afternoon.”

“Good,” Jimin says simply. “Was your poop… weird?”

“What do you mean?” Namjoon asks.

“Have you been having any digestive issues?” Jimin clarifies.

“No,” Namjoon says.

“Good, then you’re practically ready,” Jimin says.

“What?” Namjoon asks. “But, aren’t there, like- methods… for cleaning?”

“There are,” Jimin shrugs. “But you don’t use them for every single time. They’re more to ease anxiousness than anything else. If your bowel movements are okay, then there shouldn’t be a problem. You should like, go shower and clean the outside a bit, to make it more pleasant to stick your face in there, but otherwise, you should be fine.”

“But-“ Namjoon doesn’t know what to say.

“But you’re anxious, and you want something better,” Jimin offers again.

Namjoon nods, and Jimin stands up.

“Basically,” he says, walking over to his suitcase. “When you’re having regular anal sex as a bottom, and you watch your diet, and-“

“Diet?” Namjoon cuts him off.

Jimin starts digging through his things, “When was the last time you saw Yoongi or Hoseok… or me eating… beans?”

Namjoon thinks, “I don’t know.”

“That’s exactly my point,” Jimin says, getting a smallish-greenish-bluish-medicine-looking box out of his suitcase. “When you’re having regular anal sex as a bottom, you don’t eat foods that make you poop like crazy. That means that you don’t have to worry about spontaneous anal sex,” he walks back and sits on the bed again. “But, if it’s been a long time, or for whatever other reason, you’re nervous about cleanliness, you can use this.”

Namjoon takes the box from him.

“It’s called an enema,” Jimin says. “Heard of that?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon says. “It’s the- you stick it up your butt, and there’s- water and…”

“You don’t stick the whole thing up your butt, but yeah,” Jimin says. “You fill it up with warm water – do not use cold water or hot water – just warm water. Then you stick the thin part into your butt. Use lube if you need to. Then you squeeze the balloon part, let the water fill you up, then pull the thing out of you and clench. You don’t have to get all of the water out of it, but do your best, then hold the water in for a couple minutes, then let it out. Personal recommendation is to do it over the toilet,” Jimin takes a breath. “One time doing it is enough if your bowels are okay, if not, you can do it a couple times. Not too many times though. I think it should say in the instructions how many times are allowed,” he takes another breath. Namjoon didn’t realize there are instructions inside. “Also, the water should come out right away after you unclench. If it doesn’t, not good.”

“Not good?” Namjoon asks.

“I’m not sure why exactly,” Jimin says. “It’s never happened to me before personally, but I know it’s not good, and you should like, call a doctor or something. But you’re a healthy young boy, there shouldn’t be a problem,” Jimin slaps him on the shoulder.

“Thank you for this,” Namjoon says seriously, looking at the box. “I’m not, like, taking your only one, right?”

“Do you think I’d give you a used one?” Jimin asks like it’s the most ridiculous question he’s ever heard, getting off the bed and opening the closet, sifting through a pile of shirts. “Oh!” Jimin turns back around.

“What?” Namjoon asks, getting off the bed.

“Another personal recommendation,” Jimin says. “If you haven’t done anything anal before, then I think you should try with… either your fingers or a small toy or something first, like, before jumping into full-on penetration, so that like, your body wouldn’t be… shocked by it.”

“Okay,” Namjoon says.

“You don’t have to,” Jimin waves his hands. “I’m sure Yoongi and Hoseok will be perfect gentlemen for your first time, but…”

“Yeah, got it,” Namjoon says. “Thanks again.”

Jimin smiles widely, “Always happy to help.”

“Do you need any more help choosing outfits?” Namjoon offers.

“Hyung, no offense, but your fashion sense scares me sometimes,” Jimin says seriously, and Namjoon laughs. “And besides,” he smirks. “I know which outfits make me look the most fuckable.”

Namjoon laughs harder, “I’m gonna… go now.”

“Have fun,” Jimin smirks, winking at him, and Namjoon leaves blushing but in an incredibly good mood.

 

Yeah, he doesn’t really enjoy cleaning himself when he gets back to his room, but it does make him feel less nervous. Thank god for Jimin. Honestly, Namjoon isn’t sure what he would have done without him.

Namjoon’s been sitting on his bed with one of his lyric notebooks for the past few hours, writing and contemplating. He actually managed to write what he thinks is a half-decent verse for one of their next songs, but other than that, nothing. He’s anxious, can’t stop watching the clock on the wall. It’s nine forty-seven pm right now. Namjoon’s not sure when Hoseok and Jimin plan on going out, but his time frame for showering and possible-fingering is closing in. So, he takes a deep breath, puts the notebook down and, on his way to the shower, picks up his lube.

He touches himself. Only his ass though, not his dick. It’s… weird. And not weird. Not his first time touching someone’s butthole, he knows how to do things. But it’s… weird to do it to himself. His butt is not like- the world’s greatest. It’s not like Yoongi’s or Hoseok’s, or Jimin’s for that matter. It’s small…ish and flat…ish. And that’s not something he’s ever had to face before. But that’s okay. He doubts Yoongi and Hoseok would complain about it.

And his hole is like… well, he looked at it before stepping into the shower, and it looks… okay. A little pink, not… hairy or anything, not weird in any way. It’s… fine. Doesn’t feel all that special to touch it though. It’s maybe a little more sensitive than the rest of his skin. Not as sensitive as his cock. But… it’s okay. There’s nothing particularly amazing about it, but there’s nothing particularly bad about it either.

He sticks a finger in it. Kind of hurts. Not much. Feels a little… unnatural… to push something in there. But… it’s okay. His main complaint about the whole thing is that he’s been fingering himself for what he thinks is five minutes now, and his cock is… soft. Like, fully soft. No response. He has no idea how Yoongi and Hoseok get hard by doing this. Like, he’s really fighting every instinct that’s telling him to wrap a hand around his shaft and get hard. He really wants to get hard through fingering only.

The second finger hurts a little more, but he’s gentle with himself, so it doesn’t hurt much. It reminds him of regular muscle pain, like when he accidentally stretches too hard. Only that with fingering, the pain is more concentrated into one small place. Still not getting hard though. If it was possible, the pain made his cock flag even more.

And then he remembers the prostate and doesn’t think too much before starting to look for it. Oh. Found it quicker than expected. That’s definitely sensitive. But not… it hurts a little. Is it supposed to? What are the odds that both Hoseok and him have hyper sensitive prostates? He tries thrusting a few times, but that doesn’t do anything for him either. It probably feels better when someone else does it to you. Yeah, it probably does. It’s probably not as weird then. He pulls his fingers out.

He looks down at his soft cock and thinks that it really shouldn’t be soft at this point. Maybe he’s in a bad headspace or something. He should like fingering himself, right? Yoongi and Hoseok both love it. Hell, Hoseok comes untouched almost every single time he bottoms. So, why is Namjoon so fucking soft right now? God, what if there’s something wrong with him? No, there isn’t. He shakes his head, soaping up his hands, washing off the lube. He needs to relax. It’s fine. Some people just don’t like it. And it’ll be much easier to get hard when Yoongi and Hoseok are naked in front of him than when he’s alone with nothing but his concerns.

It’s with that thought that he eventually steps out of the shower. Maybe he shouldn’t jump into bottoming tonight. He should wait some more, get used to fingering himself, though he doesn’t feel an incredible urgency to stick his fingers up his butt again. He’ll think of a different way to get Yoongi to open up about his feelings.

It’s ten thirty, and he walks over to his closet to look for clothes for the club. But. If he doesn’t feel comfortable bottoming tonight, and every single other night that he’s ever thought about doing it, then it sort of reinforces Yoongi’s fear about being vulnerable with them. Because it means that Namjoon doesn’t want to be vulnerable with them either. And that’s… the complete opposite of what Namjoon is trying to do. And it’s not true either, he can be vulnerable with them. Not that Yoongi would know about it if he couldn’t. Yoongi wouldn’t know about his failure to bottom for them if he never offers to bottom for them. But. That’s not the point.

He puts on black skinny jeans, a dark red shirt and a classic jean jacket over it and thinks it looks pretty okay. Not really putting as much effort into his outfit as usual, but he’s also not trying to get laid tonight, so who cares. He does fiddle with his hair for a while, glad that it’s dark brown right now and not purple or something, not really the correct outfit for a hat.

At ten fifty, there’s a knock on his door.

“Come in,” he yells.

“Guess who decided to join?” Jimin singsongs, and Namjoon turns around to find Jimin, Hoseok, and Yoongi there.

“Hyung,” Namjoon exclaims, smile spreading on his face. “What changed your mind?”

“Jeongguk,” Yoongi mumbles. He’s dressed entirely in black – black jeans, shirt, jacket, shoes, facemask, hat that hides his bluish hair almost entirely, the whole shebang.

“Jeongguk?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah, I don’t know,” Hoseok says. “He refuses to elaborate.”

Hoseok walks over to Namjoon’s mirror and adjusts shirt.

“You look good,” Namjoon comments. Hoseok’s wearing ripped jeans a loose t-shirt.

“Thank you,” Hoseok smiles. Jimin walks over to the mirror as well, opening the top button of his silky-looking grey shirt.

“Not taking a jacket?” Namjoon asks. “You’re gonna be cold.”

“I’m gonna be dancing,” Hoseok corrects.

“That’s right,” Jimin smiles widely, raising his hand for Hoseok to high-five, which Hoseok does. “One of the new bodyguards – Joonho – is gonna come pick us up in like, ten minutes,” Jimin says. “Donggun, Jungil, and the other new one – Minwoo – are gonna be behind him in another car. Donggun and Minwoo are gonna come into the club with us, and Joonho and Jungil are gonna be waiting in the cars. We all have their numbers, right?”

“Yup,” Hoseok says. Namjoon and Yoongi nod.

“What about everybody else?” Namjoon asks. “Jin, Tae, Kook?”

“Kookie has a headache, so he’s not going, and Tae decided to stay with him,” Jimin answers. “And I asked Jin hyung, but he said he already has plans,” Jimin’s phone buzzes with a text. “Joonho’s here. Everybody ready?”

 

They drive less than ten minutes to an underground club called “PM”. The club doesn’t feel any different than any of the other clubs Namjoon’s been to. The only major difference is the language that Namjoon wishes he understood. It’s simple-looking – bar and a couple tables on one side, DJ booth in the far corner, the same heavy bass House music plays as in any other club he’s been to. But it’s nice and dark in there, truly discreet, most of the colorful lighting concentrated around the DJ and the bar. There are just enough people for the place to feel full, but not too many to make Namjoon feel uncomfortable.

When they reach the bar and the lights illuminate Yoongi’s face, Namjoon can see that Yoongi is a little bit uncomfortable, but after they all throw back a shot that Jimin orders for them, and Hoseok and Jimin tug Namjoon and Yoongi onto the dance floor, Yoongi starts smiling, probably distracted by the way Hoseok and Jimin are wrapping themselves all over him.

They all dance for a while, and Namjoon really finds himself having fun. Hoseok and Jimin look happy as fuck, dancing all over each other, laughing and singing along to some of the music. Namjoon does get Hoseok’s promised grinding, but he’s laughing too hard for it to be even remotely sexual. Even Yoongi is laughing and dancing, letting Jimin hold his hands and spin him around.

Namjoon’s glad he went out, and he’s even more glad that Yoongi went with them. It’s a good distraction for both of them, Namjoon thinks. And for Hoseok too. He looks like he needed this. The music is far too loud for them to hear themselves thinking.

“I’m gonna go get a drink!” Namjoon yells in Hoseok’s ear eventually.

“What?!” Hoseok shouts back.

Namjoon does a drinking motion with his hand, and Hoseok gives him a thumbs-up. Yoongi tries to follow Namjoon, but before he can, Jimin grabs him by the waist and pulls him back in.

After getting a beer, Namjoon leans back against the bar and closes his eyes, a strange calmness washing over him. It’s quieter by the bar. His mind is blank. Fully blank. Only music. Only bass. He’s sweating a bit. It feels good. Someone beside him says something in Spanish. Namjoon doesn’t understand. He takes a sip of his beer.

“Don’t speak Spanish?” Namjoon hears a female voice with a heavy accent and opens his eyes, finding a – good god, that’s a lot of cleavage – tall brown-haired girl beside him. “English?”

“Ah, yeah, English,” Namjoon answers. Does her… shirt have a back? Nope. How the fuck is it staying up? Short skirt, long legs, high heels. Does she plan on dancing in those heels? She’s going to break something.

“My name’s Isabella,” she says, and Namjoon looks back up. Big brown eyes. Dark red lipstick. Yeah.

“Ah,” Namjoon blanks on his fake name for a second, “Manchu.”

“Where are you from, Manchu?” she asks, leaning against the bar beside him. Namjoon’s eyes are drawn to her chest again. He can see side-boob. There’s no back to this top. How is it staying up? Namjoon doesn’t understand. It’s very pretty though. Namjoon looks back up.

“Uh, China,” he answers. “You?”

“Mexico,” she answers, the Spanish accent taking over. “Born and raised. You here on vacation?”

Namjoon looks towards the dance floor again. Hoseok has his arms wrapped around Yoongi’s neck. He doesn’t see Jimin for a couple seconds but then spots him a little off to the side, grinding up on some really tall, really muscular guy.

“Vacation, yeah,” he tells her. She hums, pursing her lips. Is she here to hit on him? He watches some hot, scantily dressed girl dancing up to Yoongi and Hoseok. Hoseok pulls her into a little dance-circle seemingly without thinking much.

“You like Mexico?” Isabella asks, and Namjoon snaps out of it. He’s being rude. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, not sure she even hears him. “Yeah, I like Mexico. I like the people here,” he didn’t get to see much of Mexico this time, but he definitely likes the fans here.

“How long you going to stay?” she asks, smiling. She’s pretty. No, she’s hot.

“This is my last day,” Namjoon answers, fights the urge to look back at Hoseok and Yoongi dancing with that girl.

“Oh,” she says, pouting a bit, as if she’s actually disappointed. Though Namjoon thinks that if anything, she seems more excited now, more eager somehow. She leans over and touches his bicep gently, and Namjoon gets an even closer look at her cleavage. Definitely hitting on him. How does he let her down? “Okay,” she uses the other hand and wraps it around Namjoon’s beer bottle, the motion clearly suggestive, bringing it up to his lips, watching him as he tilts his head back a little and takes a sip. “I hope you enjoy your last night in Mexico.”

Does he try to push her away now? He’s never been in a situation where he’s actually considered refusing a girl like her. Why is he refusing her? He glances back at Yoongi and Hoseok. The girl that danced up to them before is still there, and another girl has joined them. Yoongi and Hoseok are still by each other, but the girls are dancing all over them. Yeah, this is why he’s refusing her. He has Yoongi and Hoseok. He’s… not interested in her.

She touches his chest with the tip of one finger, and he turns to look at her again. She has really pretty lips. How long has it been since he’s been with a girl? Over two and a half years now? She’s stunning. He imagines holding her down, spreading her legs and licking her pussy, looking up and seeing her very not flat chest, no cock to speak of. He looks back at Hoseok and Yoongi, then back at her.

Does he want her? He didn’t plan on picking someone up tonight, but she’s clearly offering. It would be easy to say yes, bring her back to his hotel room, fuck her. He’d eat her out for sure, make her come a few times, she’d be soaking wet for him.

The finger she has on his chest starts sliding down his stomach. He turns to the dance floor one more time, Yoongi’s looking down, laughing. He looks embarrassed. The girl in front of him is laughing happily, but then Yoongi looks up at her and shakes his head, scratching behind his ear.

Namjoon feels pressure on his crotch and snaps right back, his unoccupied hand grabbing Isabella’s wrist and pulling her hand away from him. He lets her go quickly, afraid the move might have been too aggressive, but when he looks up at her, she seems fine. A little disappointed maybe.

“No?” she asks, pushing herself back from him. He smiles apologetically, his eyes immediately drifting back to Yoongi. “Oh,” Isabella breathes, her gaze following his. “You want her?”

“Uh…” Namjoon looks at Isabella.

“No?” she asks again when he doesn’t say anything, shaking her head. “Him?”

He panics, watching her tilt her head. Being out to anyone outside of the group, even if she doesn’t know who he is, is… yeah, he panics.

“You know him?” she asks. Namjoon shakes his head, but Yoongi is walking towards them. “He’s cute.”

“Umm, I- I,” Namjoon stammers.

Yoongi looks at Namjoon and scratches behind his ear again, then he pauses suddenly, his mouth open like he was about to say something. He mouths what looks like an ‘oh’ and finds a place by the bar a little further away from Namjoon, and that’s not okay. Namjoon looks back at Isabella.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“No,” she says, smiling. “No sorrys. You’re cute, he’s cute. Together – hot.”

Namjoon blinks at her blankly, not saying anything. She laughs at him and shakes her head, walking away, and he’s left there standing and gaping like an absolute dumbass. He takes a long sip of his beer, shakes himself and walks to Yoongi.

Yoongi’s holding a glass of what Namjoon assumes is whiskey, looking into the crowd.

“No?” Yoongi asks when Namjoon approaches.

“What?” Namjoon asks. He looks towards the dance floor, and his eyes fall on Jimin who has his eyes closed, leaned back against that same big guy from before, moving his hips in little circles against the guy’s crotch.

“Not going to sleep with her?” Yoongi clarifies, and Namjoon turns to him.

Yoongi doesn’t look back, keeping his gaze where it was.

“No,” Namjoon answers.

“Why not?” Yoongi asks. Because he doesn’t want to.

“Because I don’t want to,” Namjoon says.

“Why don’t you want to?” Yoongi asks casually. “She’s gorgeous.”

So is Yoongi, “Just don’t want to.”

“It’s been over two and a half years now since you had sex with a girl, no?” Yoongi asks, sipping his whiskey.

“Yeah,” Namjoon says. “Almost two years for you, right?”

“Something like that,” Yoongi says.

Namjoon looks at the dance floor again. Hoseok has both girls on him now – one behind him, one in front of him. The one who’s in front of him – long brown hair, big tits, big ass, the same fucking model who was hitting on Yoongi – he’s holding her hips, and she has her arms around his neck. “You refused that one, no?”

He can feel Yoongi’s gaze on him, so he turns to look. There’s something sad about Yoongi’s expression, something in his eyes. Yoongi shrugs, and Namjoon’s glad he refused her. He doesn’t want Yoongi sleeping with other people, he realizes. Can’t stand the thought of it. He has no right to think like this, to be like this. Possessiveness is not allowed in a relationship like theirs.

“Why?” Namjoon asks, and Yoongi shrugs again.

“Didn’t plan on getting laid tonight,” Yoongi says, swirls his whiskey around in the glass.

“Why did you come?” Namjoon asks. Yoongi turns to look at Hoseok, not answering, and Namjoon follows his gaze.

The girl that was behind Hoseok has gone somewhere, but the one who was in front of him is right where she was, rolling her body against Hoseok’s, big bright smile on her face. Hoseok looks into it. Why does it bother Namjoon so much?

He feels a tap on his shoulder and turns, finds Jimin beside him and the big guy, looking a bit lost, standing right behind Jimin.

“I’m out,” Jimin says. “Texted Jungil. I’m taking this one with me,” he motions towards the guy behind him then smirks. Namjoon smiles.

“Don’t forget to use protection,” Namjoon tells him, and Jimin laughs.

“Same goes for you,” Jimin winks at Namjoon, and Namjoon is reminded of fingering himself earlier.

“Never know how he gets laid so easily,” Yoongi says when Jimin walks away. “The language barrier alone should hold him back.”

Namjoon hums, “Never underestimate him.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi says, sips his whiskey again. “Or him.”

Namjoon looks at Hoseok. The girl has turned around, her back to him. She’s a good dancer. She’s hot. Hoseok’s hot. They’re hot together. And Namjoon hates it. He wants to walk over there and separate them. What the fuck is wrong with him? She reaches back with her hand, grabbing Hoseok’s neck and looking at him, holding his gaze as they move against each other. Hoseok looks lost in the music, or maybe he’s lost in her, and Namjoon feels his blood boiling.

He could go over there. He could tell Hoseok that he wants Hoseok to fuck him, that he wants to bottom, maybe that’ll convince Hoseok to leave her. But, no. No, he doesn’t want to do that. He doesn’t want to bribe Hoseok into choosing him.

This- this- what Namjoon’s feeling- he shouldn’t be feeling it. This possessiveness is not fair to Hoseok. Hoseok looks like he’s having fun. He’s allowed to have fun. She pulls Hoseok into a kiss, and he kisses her back, and god, no, what Namjoon’s feeling- that’s- that’s not possessiveness. It’s straight-up jealousy. He doesn’t want Hoseok kissing her, doesn’t want Hoseok kissing anyone but him and Yoongi.

He glances towards Yoongi, watches Yoongi drink the rest of his whiskey in one big gulp and place the glass on the counter, his eyes never leaving Hoseok. Is he feeling the same thing Namjoon’s feeling? He can’t be. Namjoon is angry. Yoongi doesn’t look angry.

When Namjoon turns back to Hoseok, Hoseok is pushing the girl away, holding her an arm’s length away by her shoulders. Hoseok’s eyes are wide, and his chest is rising and falling deeply, Namjoon can see it all the way from here. The girl seems surprised too. Hoseok looks towards the bar, his eyes darting around until they land on them. He turns back to the girl, letting go of her shoulders, saying something Namjoon can’t make out and walking away from her, leaving her standing there with an incredibly confused expression on her face.

Hoseok strides over to them quickly, looking absolutely horrified. Namjoon is closest to Hoseok, so Hoseok gets to him first and pulls him into a tight hug. Namjoon’s arms wrap around Hoseok. He can feel Hoseok’s rapid heartbeat between them, can hear Hoseok’s panicked breathing. Namjoon finds the girl who was dancing with Hoseok watching them, and when Hoseok pulls back to look into Namjoon’s eyes, Namjoon fights so hard against the urge to kiss him. Everything is telling him to kiss Hoseok. Everything. But he can’t, not in public. He can’t.

“I didn’t-“ Hoseok gasps, eyes darting between Yoongi and Namjoon. There’s dark pink lipstick on and around his lips. “I didn’t mean to- she kissed me- I- I- I don’t know why I kissed her back- I- I didn’t want to- I didn’t.”

“It’s okay,” Namjoon breathes and pulls him back into a hug with a hand on his neck, his anger gone as if it were never there the moment he sees the fear in Hoseok’s expression. Namjoon’s eyes find Yoongi, and he’s not sure what the look on Yoongi’s face means. Yoongi’s eyebrows are furrowed, mouth open just a bit. It could be sadness, anger, confusion. There are too many options.

“I wanna leave,” Hoseok says, and Yoongi places a hand on the small of Hoseok’s back.

“Let’s leave,” Yoongi says. Namjoon holds Hoseok close as Yoongi pulls out his phone with one hand, presumably texting their security guards. Yoongi watches the phone for a few moments, his hand rubbing circles into Hoseok’s back, then looks up and nods.

“Come on, baby,” Namjoon says into Hoseok’s ear, and they quickly make their way out of the club and into the awaiting car.

The three of them sit at the back with Hoseok in the middle. Hoseok’s stiff as hell for the first minute, then his hand shoots up to his mouth and he starts wiping it, the lipstick coming off. He keeps wiping it, more and more, until his lips are rubbed raw, and then he stops and stiffens up again.

Everything is very motionless for the next few minutes, and then Namjoon spots Yoongi shifting his hand towards Hoseok’s lap, carefully laying it on top of one of Hoseok’s hands. Namjoon thinks of last night, of the two of them holding hands as they cuddled in bed, and reaches his own hand to place it over Yoongi’s. He’s not mad at Hoseok. Of course he isn’t. He’s worried. About Yoongi being distant. About Hoseok panicking because of kissing someone else. About himself being possessive, being jealous, wanting them so much, enough to not want someone else. About what it’s going to mean for them.

He forgets how short the ride to the club is until, before he can even finish thinking, they’re already back. They step into the hotel and silently go up the elevator. Namjoon doesn’t let himself think before taking Hoseok’s hand in his during the short ride up, then doesn’t let it go as they walk down the hallway.

They walk past Yoongi’s hotel room door first, and Yoongi completely ignores it, continuing to walk with them to the next room, which is Hoseok’s. Hoseok stops in front of it, and so do Namjoon and Yoongi. Talking. That’s the plan. They have to talk. Namjoon doesn’t want to talk. Hoseok lets go of Namjoon’s hand and pulls his keycard out of his pocket, pushing the door open and going inside, then closing it after Namjoon and Yoongi follow him in.

Once they’re all inside, with the lights still off, Hoseok turns to Namjoon and Yoongi.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice shaky. “I don’t know why I kissed her.”

“It’s okay,” Yoongi says, shrugging. “You’re allowed.”

There’s silence. Yoongi takes off his hat and jacket, placing them onto the dresser, then walks to Hoseok’s bed, turns on the bedside lamp and just… sits down, takes off his shoes and looks at them, waiting. For what, Namjoon doesn’t know.

“I’m sorry anyway,” Hoseok says quietly. “Didn’t feel right.”

Didn’t feel right to kiss her? Didn’t feel right to have them watching as he kissed her?

“I didn’t wanna kiss her,” Hoseok says, shaking his head. “I don’t know why I did.”

“She was pretty,” Namjoon whispers.

Hoseok shakes his head, “Doesn’t matter.”

Namjoon walks up to him, places a hand on his back. He can smell perfume on him.

“It’s okay,” Namjoon says. “You are allowed,” he doesn’t like saying it. “Don’t have to feel guilty about it.”

Hoseok shakes his head again.

Yoongi’s looking down at his lap, and Hoseok is looking at the floor. God, how did they get to this point? Why does it all feel so complicated now? The whole point of sleeping together was to have it be simple, to be honest and open and allow each other freedom. When did they lose it all? Now, Yoongi’s closed off, and Hoseok looks sad, and Namjoon feels kind of sick, and he needs to fix it. Somehow, he needs to fix it all. He needs to make it better, but he’s not sure what ‘better’ even means. What’s his goal here? What is he trying to achieve?

He wants Yoongi to open up. He wants Hoseok to not be sad. He wants them to not sleep with other people. He doesn’t want to sleep with other people. His heart aches. He cares too much. This all became too real, and he’s not even sure when. He feels too much for them. He needs to fix it.

“Umm,” Namjoon tries. “I was- uh… thinking… that I… I wanna do something… different with you.”

Yoongi and Hoseok look up. It’s not a solution. This is not the way.

“I want…” Namjoon says. “I wanna bottom.”

“What?” Yoongi asks, his eyes widening. Hoseok looks at him with an open mouth.

“I wanna t-try,” Namjoon stammers.

Yoongi stands up and walks to him.

“You don’t have to,” Yoongi says, shaking his head.

“I trust you,” Namjoon says. Hoseok shifts a bit closer as well.

“It’s not about trust,” Yoongi whispers. “I know you trust us. You don’t have to do this.”

“I want to,” Namjoon says and believes himself. “With you, I want to.”

Yoongi watches him, looking like he’s on the verge of arguing again. But then, he just cups Namjoon’s cheeks and kisses him. It’s a hard kiss, a desperate kiss. Namjoon wraps his arms around Yoongi’s torso and pulls him closer. He feels too much. Far too much. And it’s too quiet. And there aren’t enough hands on him. He pulls back from Yoongi and turns to Hoseok, finds him looking at them with sadness written all over him once again.

“Come here,” Namjoon whispers and pulls Hoseok into a kiss.

He kisses Hoseok hard, holds his chin and wipes any trace of her off him. They came back to him. They both refused someone else and came to him. Isn’t that what matters? He kisses Hoseok harder.

“Only if you really want to,” Yoongi whispers in his ear. “Only if you truly want to.”

“I want you,” he whispers into Hoseok’s lips. It was meant to be ‘I want to’.

He licks into Hoseok’s mouth, hears Hoseok whimper and pulls him in harder. Yoongi tugs on Namjoon’s jacket, and Namjoon pulls his hands away from Hoseok so that Yoongi could take it off, then brings them right back up to Hoseok’s neck. Hoseok smells like the club, he smells like women’s perfume. Namjoon’s hands run down Hoseok’s chest, tugging at the hem of Hoseok’s shirt and breaking their kiss for one second to take it off him, then letting Yoongi pull off his shirt as well, before bringing his lips back to Hoseok’s.

The feeling of Yoongi’s naked chest pressed against Namjoon’s back makes goosebumps rise on Namjoon’s arms. He wants them. He wants them so bad. He steps on the backs of his shoes to take them off then kisses Hoseok harder, walking him backwards until his knees hit the foot of the bed, and he falls onto it.

Yoongi follows them, then helps Namjoon unlace Hoseok’s shoes and pull them off. Then Hoseok’s socks. Then his jeans and underwear. Hoseok’s not completely hard yet, but he’s getting there. Yoongi’s hands find Namjoon’s belt and unbuckle it. The way he moves is a little frantic.

“I’ll take care of you,” Yoongi whispers, unzipping Namjoon’s jeans and shoving them down along with his underwear, falling onto his knees to take them and Namjoon’s socks off. Namjoon’s hard. “I’ll make this good for you,” he looks up, breathing hard. “I fucking promise.”

Namjoon runs his hands through Yoongi’s hair, “I know, baby, I know.”

Yoongi rises up onto his legs again, brings his lips to Namjoon’s neck and starts taking off his own jeans, Namjoon helping him shove them down. When Yoongi’s underwear are off, Namjoon turns to Hoseok.

“Scoot back,” Namjoon says and Hoseok does, laying his head on the pillow.

Namjoon climbs onto him, straddling his hips, leaning down and kissing him. Yoongi is still behind him, watching, and Namjoon already feels exposed. Namjoon kisses down to Hoseok’s neck, and Yoongi climbs onto the bed beside them, his palm coming down onto Namjoon’s shoulder, then dragging down, down and down, over the entire expanse of Namjoon’s back until it settles on his ass.

“Oh, fuck,” Yoongi breathes. “Fuck, Joon. You can still change your mind. You can change your mind whenever you want to.”

Namjoon lifts his head to look at Yoongi, “I won’t.”

“You can though,” Yoongi insists. “Just know that you can.”

“I know,” Namjoon says. “Come here, let me kiss you.”

Yoongi kisses him, and Namjoon may or may not have an actual heart attack in two seconds. God, it’s all too much.

“You should-“ Yoongi whispers against Namjoon’s lips, dropping another kiss onto them. “You should get on your back.”

“Okay,” Namjoon nods, rolling off Hoseok and falling onto his back in the middle of the bed, his legs flat, staring at the wall. The clock tells him it’s one forty-three at night, and then Yoongi leans over him, blocking it from Namjoon’s view.

“Are you sure?” Yoongi asks again, wrapping a hand around Namjoon’s shaft.

Yes.

Not really.

“Yes,” Namjoon says. Hoseok lays on his side next to Namjoon, his lips pressing against Namjoon’s shoulder, joining Yoongi’s hand on his length, both of them stroking him together.

Yoongi looks at Namjoon’s body. At least Namjoon’s hard right now, and the thought of Yoongi’s fingers in him is not turning him off.

“Okay,” Yoongi whispers, letting go of Namjoon’s cock and jumping off the bed to get lube and a condom, then getting right back on, gently touching Namjoon’s thigh.

It’s a cue. It means ‘spreads your legs’. Namjoon knows. He’s done it enough times to others. Shit. He’s hesitating already. Yoongi is looking at him and waiting patiently, so Namjoon takes a deep breath and bends his knees up, then spreads his legs. Namjoon’s glad that Yoongi doesn’t wait before crawling between them and leaning over him.

Hoseok lets go of Namjoon’s cock and lays his palm on Namjoon’s stomach, kissing his shoulder again. His kisses are really tender, almost like he’s still apologizing.

Yoongi braces one hand by Namjoon’s head, bringing the other to softly rest on Namjoon’s thigh. He looks into Namjoon’s eyes and swallows. He’s so beautiful.

“I’ll go slow,” Yoongi says so incredibly quietly. “Tell me if it’s okay.”

Namjoon nods, and Yoongi bends down to kiss his knee, fumbling for the lube bottle for a moment, then inhaling deeply, shaking his head and taking control of himself, opening the lube bottle. He pours quite a lot onto his fingers, drops the bottle and rubs his fingers together. He’s warming up the lube for him. Namjoon smiles.

Yoongi’s gaze catches his again, and he doesn’t have to speak the words for Namjoon to hear ‘you can say stop’, ‘you can back out’. But Namjoon doesn’t want to say it, so he nods instead.

Maybe he’s a little buzzed from the beer, but it doesn’t feel horribly weird to have Yoongi’s finger slide into him. Namjoon breathes through it, forces his muscles to relax as Yoongi’s finger pushes all the way inside.

“Okay?” Yoongi asks, and Namjoon nods, closing his eyes.

Yoongi pulls his finger back and pushes back in, and it feels fine. It’s really quiet though. Namjoon’s never really been one to make too much noise during sex, but right now, his own heavy breathing is the only noise he hears. Neither Yoongi nor Hoseok is making any sounds whatsoever. Namjoon doesn’t like that. The silence is making him more anxious.

“You’re really tight,” Yoongi whispers, keeping the pace of his finger slow. Namjoon opens his eyes, blushing.

“Do you like it?” Namjoon asks Yoongi. Hoseok’s fingers rise up to Namjoon’s hair, stroking it gently.

“Like what?” Yoongi asks, watching Namjoon’s face.

“This,” Namjoon says, for some reason hesitating about being too explicit. “This. Fingering me.”

Yoongi looks down between Namjoon’s legs. Namjoon watches Yoongi nod. 

“You can add another finger,” Namjoon says, wanting the prep to go a little faster.

“You sure?” Yoongi asks.

“Yes,” Namjoon answers. He cants his hips a little higher, opening himself more, and closes his eyes.

When Yoongi pushes the second finger in, Namjoon feels his eyebrows furrow. There’s a little pain. Not much.

“Hurts?” Yoongi asks.

“It’s fine,” Namjoon says.

Fuck, it’s quiet. He can feel Yoongi and Hoseok watching him. Yoongi’s fingers push all the way in and pause. Namjoon grips the sheets. Fuck, why is he so anxious? He’s just fucking lying there, doing nothing. Nothing. They’re watching him, and he’s doing nothing. Not touching them, not making them feel good, not making them make noise. This whole thing feels… off. Namjoon swallows hard, feeling Yoongi’s fingers pull back a tiny bit and push back it. It doesn’t feel bad physically. It’s just maybe a little tiny bit overwhelming.

“Joon,” Yoongi whispers.

“Yeah?” Namjoon asks.

“You’re going soft,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon opens his eyes and looks down at himself.

He’s not fully soft yet, but he’s getting there.

“Sorry,” Namjoon says.

“No, don’t be,” Yoongi says, holding his fingers inside. “Do you wanna stop?”

No.

Maybe.

“No,” Namjoon says. “I wanna like it.”

“Can you-“ Yoongi tries. “Do you… Is there something that I’m doing wrong? That you want me to do differently?”

“No,” Namjoon answers. It’s not Yoongi’s fault. Namjoon just… he isn’t doing anything. He wants to make them feel good. All this… attention is driving him crazy. “I don’t know.”

Hoseok’s palm wraps around Namjoon’s mostly soft shaft again and starts pulling. Yeah, maybe that’ll help. Yoongi starts moving his fingers.

The pain subsides completely eventually, but Namjoon’s cock doesn’t seem to care. Hoseok is stroking him, but he’s not only not getting harder, he’s getting even softer. Yoongi touches his prostate, and he gasps, grabbing the sheets. He’s breathing harder now. The touch against his prostate makes it a little better than before, but not really.

“You’re still soft, Joon,” Yoongi whispers, rubbing his prostate.

“Sorry,” Namjoon says again, looking up at the ceiling.

“Does it hurt?” Yoongi asks. Fuck, he sounds worried.

Namjoon shakes his head and looks back down. Yoongi’s cock is still somewhat hard, but Hoseok is completely soft now, and god, fuck, Namjoon hates this so much. He reaches for Hoseok’s cock and wraps his fingers around it, trying to get Hoseok hard again, but Hoseok lets go of Namjoon’s cock and pulls Namjoon’s hand away.

“It’s okay,” Hoseok smiles. “I’ll get myself hard again in a minute. Focus on yourself.”

Namjoon sighs harshly in frustration.

“Joonie?” Yoongi says.

“I just- I don’t like doing nothing,” Namjoon snaps, and everybody stops moving. “It’s just- I- I need- I… I don’t know.”

Namjoon exhales sharply, then takes a long, calming breath.

“Seok, baby,” Yoongi says. Namjoon keeps breathing slowly, relaxing himself. “Come here.”

Hoseok leaves Namjoon’s side and goes to join Yoongi.

“I’m gonna pull out of you now,” Yoongi says.

“Wait,” Namjoon hurries to say. He doesn’t want to give up yet. “Don’t.”

“It’s just for a second,” Yoongi says. “Seok’s gonna replace me.”

“Why?” Namjoon asks, confused, then hisses when Yoongi’s fingers slip out.

“Just trust me,” Yoongi says. Hoseok takes Yoongi’s place between Namjoon’s legs, and Yoongi pours some lube into Hoseok’s palm. “Stay on his prostate. He can take it.”

Hoseok nods, and Yoongi shuffles over on his knees to Namjoon’s head.  

“Could you open your mouth for me?” Yoongi asks, and Namjoon’s confused, but he does as Yoongi says anyway. Yoongi moves even closer, bringing his half-hard cock to Namjoon’s face. “Make me feel good,” Yoongi whispers, eyes hooded, bringing the tip of his cock to Namjoon’s lips. “Please.”

Namjoon stares at Yoongi wide-eyed for a moment then lets his tongue out and licks the tip of Yoongi’s cock. Yoongi moans, and Namjoon feels the sound pulse all the way down his body. And then Hoseok’s fingers are rubbing at his hole, but Namjoon doesn’t focus on that too much, instead wrapping his lips around the tip of Yoongi’s cock and listening to him moan again.

When Hoseok’s fingers slide in, Namjoon barely notices. Yoongi grabs the headboard with one hand, his head lolling back, so Namjoon cranes his neck and takes Yoongi’s shaft deeper.

“Fuck,” Yoongi exhales. Yes. Just yes. This is so much better. Fuck, he loves the sounds that Yoongi makes. And then Yoongi huffs out a happy little laugh, and everything feels so much better. “Look who’s getting hard again.”

Namjoon pulls off Yoongi’s cock and looks at himself. Wow. He is getting hard again.

“You just like making us feel good, don’t you?” Yoongi asks, rubbing the tip of his cock against Namjoon’s lips. ‘Yes,’ Namjoon wants to say, but, even though he’s starting to get hard again, everything is still overwhelming. “Doesn’t he feel good, baby?”

“He does,” Hoseok answers. Hoseok’s cock is getting hard again as well, and the sight of it calms Namjoon a little. Hoseok’s free hand wraps around Namjoon’s shaft, Yoongi’s cock slips back into Namjoon’s mouth, and Hoseok’s fingers thrust in and out of him, rubbing against his prostate, and it feels better. His cock is definitely getting hard, but something… Namjoon is still anxious, he still feels so fucking exposed. He’s making Yoongi moan, and they’re all getting hard, but he’s still… not really doing anything, not doing enough. It still doesn’t… feel right.

“Do you think you’re ready for Hoseokie’s cock now?” Yoongi asks, pulling his cock out of Namjoon’s mouth to let Namjoon answer.

“Yeah,” Namjoon says, not fully certain of that answer. Physically, he’s stretched. Physically, he’s pretty sure he can take Hoseok without much struggle, hopefully, but… “Yeah, I’m ready.”

Yoongi leans over Namjoon to grab that condom that he brought earlier, his crotch above Namjoon’s face, and Namjoon takes the opportunity to just… lay his hands on Yoongi’s ass. Just to fucking hold it and appreciate it and love it and give it the attention that it deserves. Yoongi sits back on his heels and smiles at Namjoon, clearly amused, and Namjoon can’t help but smile a little too.

But after ripping the packet open, Yoongi does the same thing, leaning over Namjoon’s body to get to Hoseok’s cock, and Namjoon… Namjoon just wants Yoongi to-

“Ready?” Yoongi asks, leaning back, the condom rolled on Hoseok’s cock.

Namjoon nods, letting Hoseok spread his legs further apart. He feels the blunt tip of Hoseok’s cock at his hole and thinks that this is the last second. If he wants to change his mind, now is the time. But Hoseok is out of breath, and he’s looking between Namjoon’s legs with so much need in his eyes, like all he wants is to be inside Namjoon, and Namjoon has never refused Hoseok, and he isn’t going to refuse him now.

“Come on, baby, get in me,” Namjoon whispers. “Come on.”

So, Hoseok pushes in, and it fucking hurts.

“Oh my god,” Namjoon chokes out.

Yoongi wraps one hand around Namjoon’s shaft and strokes, his other hand sliding up to one of Namjoon’s nipples, pinching. Namjoon gasps, arching his back. He wants to tell Yoongi to stop, that it’s too much, but he gets what Yoongi’s doing. He’s distracted by Yoongi’s hands, isn’t thinking as much about the fucking rod that’s being shoved up his ass.

His body squeezes around Hoseok, and pain flares up his spine even more. He grunts, can feel himself starting to go soft in Yoongi’s grip. One of Hoseok’s hands leaves Namjoon’s thigh and comes down to Namjoon’s balls, and holy shit, this is a lot. All of this is a lot. Hoseok pushes in deeper, and Namjoon hisses, moans, hisses again.

“Fuck,” Namjoon exclaims. “God. Fuck. Shit.”

“Are you okay?” Hoseok asks, and Namjoon nods. He’s fine. God.

“Let go of my balls and nipples please,” Namjoon laughs at himself, taking a relieved breath when they do as he says. “Oh, my god.”

“Not your cock though, right?” Yoongi asks, a smile spreading on his lips. “I should keep stroking your cock, right?”

“Yes, baby, keep stroking my cock,” Namjoon smiles widely.

“You are so tight,” Hoseok says.

“Yeah?” Namjoon laughs breathily. “You like it?”

“Fuck,” is Hoseok’s answer.

Namjoon’s body squeezes around Hoseok again, but he’s more prepared for the pain this time, and really, the pain is not that bad. He shifts his hips experimentally, taking deep, steady breaths, ignoring how much it hurts because he knows that it’s supposed to get better. His cock is staying at a good middle-point in terms of hardness. But god, Hoseok’s face is doing this open mouthed, wide-eyed ‘I’m overwhelmed, and this feels so good’ thing that just has Namjoon fucking elated. And then he remembers what he wanted.

“Yoongi, sit on my face,” Namjoon says.

“What?” Yoongi’s eyes widen.

“You heard me,” Namjoon says, nodding. “Get your cute little fucking ass on my face.”

Yoongi’s eyes widen even more, his mouth opening and closing a few times, blush spreading on his cheeks.

“Okay,” Yoongi says eventually.

Namjoon smiles. He’s taken Yoongi off guard, hasn’t he? He’s going to make Yoongi feel so fucking good. Hoseok scoots back a bit, pulling almost all the way out of Namjoon in the process, but Namjoon just follows him forward, taking his cock back in, making enough space for Yoongi to properly get on top of him.

And then Yoongi shifts, facing Hoseok, and raises one knee up and over Namjoon head. He doesn’t actually sit back on his heels, staying up on his knees, safely above Namjoon’s face.

“Seok, fuck me,” Namjoon tells Hoseok even though he can’t see him anymore, and immediately feels Hoseok’s cock dragging inside him. It still doesn’t feel that fucking magical. He really doesn’t understand why Yoongi and Hoseok like it so much. And fucking hell, this is Hoseok’s cock, how the fuck can either of them take Namjoon’s cock? He lays both of his palms on Yoongi’s ass and squeezes.

Yoongi keeps holding himself up and away from Namjoon’s face, and no matter how high Namjoon cranes his neck, he can’t actually reach Yoongi’s hole. So he moves his hands from Yoongi’s ass to Yoongi’s hips and pulls him down just enough to have his ass in contact with Namjoon’s face. Yoongi makes a little surprised ‘oh’, and Namjoon feels his own cock twitch.

He spreads Yoongi’s cheeks again, kisses Yoongi’s hole, then licks it. Yoongi whimpers loudly, his hole clenching. God, Yoongi’s so fucking good for him. It’s hard to forget about Hoseok’s cock inside him, even when he’s so focused on Yoongi, but he forgets about it enough to start enjoying himself. He knows he’s hard now. Maybe not rock hard, but hard nonetheless.

Namjoon points his tongue and pushes the tip of it against Yoongi’s clenched hole.

“Unclench for me, baby,” Namjoon says, and Yoongi exhales roughly, his hole loosening slightly. Exactly enough for Namjoon to slip the tip of his tongue inside, fuck it into Yoongi. And Yoongi really starts moaning now, loud and unabashed. And when Namjoon focuses his hearing a bit more, he realizes that Hoseok is moaning too.

Namjoon’s hands find their place on Yoongi’s hips, moving Yoongi, trying to get Yoongi into a rhythm, to actually ride Namjoon’s tongue, but Yoongi is shaking. He’s shaking hard, his hands gripping Namjoon’s wrists, probably trying to steady himself. But it’s not working. He’s shaking too much.

“I can’t hold myself like this, oh my god,” Yoongi blurts out, falling forward, away from Namjoon’s tongue, his palms slapping against Namjoon’s chest where he braces himself. “I’m so sorry. Shit, you were just getting into it.”

“It’s okay,” Namjoon exhales, but now that Yoongi’s not on him, he can feel Hoseok a lot more. “Seok, pull out of me for a second.”

“Why?” Hoseok asks, and even though Namjoon can’t see him, he can hear Hoseok’s sudden panic. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no, no,” Namjoon reassures. “I just wanna change positions.”

“Okay,” Hoseok says, starting to pull his cock out.

Good god, it feels long on the way out. Namjoon knows it’s not this long. Emptier and emptier, that’s what his body feels, and when Hoseok is finally out, the emptiness is actually ridiculous. Does he feel the need to fill said emptiness? Maybe. Hoseok’s cock was starting to feel a little better. Definitely not horrible anymore.

“Seok, lie on your back,” Namjoon instructs. “Yoongi, get on top of him.”

He feels Hoseok moving away and Yoongi following him, and the moment Yoongi is off him, Namjoon pulls his legs closer to himself and gets onto his knees, ignoring the throbbing of his hole.

Hoseok’s head is almost at the foot of the bed, and, as instructed, Yoongi is on him, their mouths connected. Namjoon gets right behind Yoongi and kisses the small of Yoongi’s back.

“Move a bit forward,” Namjoon taps Yoongi’s ass gently, and Yoongi separates his lips from Hoseok’s, moving so that his hands are braced above Hoseok’s head, and his knees are next to Hoseok’s stomach rather than Hoseok’s hips.

Namjoon climbs on top of Hoseok behind Yoongi, grabs Hoseok’s shaft and sinks onto it, not thinking about it. Just not thinking about it. Hoseok moans loudly, and the sound makes the pain Namjoon is feeling much more worth it. Namjoon grunts but doesn’t move, letting himself readjust, and while he’s doing that, his hands find Yoongi’s ass, spread his cheeks, and he’s leaning in and starting to rim Yoongi once again.

“Oh, fuck,” Yoongi whimpers. He should be able to hold himself better in this position, and even if he can’t, he can just fall on Hoseok. “Oh, my god, Joon. Fuck, your tongue. You’re so fucking good at this.”

Yoongi moans again, and his thighs are still shaking, but he’s holding himself up so well, being so fucking good. Namjoon squeezes around Hoseok’s length, hears Hoseok moan, realizes that his body has readjusted to the feeling of Hoseok’s cock, and starts rolling his hips back and forth as he licks Yoongi.

Yeah, this feels good. Hoseok’s shaft is rubbing right up against his prostate, and Yoongi and Hoseok are both moaning now, and yeah, Namjoon thinks he could get off to this. Finally, it feels good. Feels great. He loves making them feel good. Fucking loves it. Giving them pleasure is probably one of the best feelings in the whole damn world.

When Namjoon points his tongue and pushes it inside Yoongi, Yoongi does end up falling onto Hoseok, his face burying in Hoseok’s neck, and this way, if Namjoon glances, he can actually see Hoseok too. Hoseok’s eyes are shut tight, his knuckles white from gripping the sheets so hard. He’s holding back from coming, being good for Namjoon, trying to give Namjoon time to enjoy this. Namjoon smiles, slows down his grinding to give Hoseok some breathing room, and pushes his tongue deeper into Yoongi. 

He’ll never get over the way Yoongi responds to rimming. Never. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world. The noises, the way Yoongi’s fair skin flushes pink, the way his balls pull up, like he’s on the verge of orgasm the entire time Namjoon’s tongue is on him. Namjoon gently tugs Yoongi’s balls with one hand only to hear Yoongi whimper louder, make Yoongi fall apart faster. Namjoon will put him back together after pulling him apart. Always will.

“Joon,” Yoongi whispers, then raises himself up onto his hands. “Namjoon.”

Namjoon knows. Yoongi doesn’t need to warn him.

“Namjoon,” Yoongi repeats. “Hold on, I can’t come in this position. It’ll end up all over Hoseok’s face. Namjoon.”

Hoseok moans. Namjoon really isn’t opposed to seeing Hoseok covered in Yoongi’s come.

“Really?” Yoongi asks, and Namjoon figures that question is meant for Hoseok. “Baby.”

Namjoon doesn’t stop rimming him, and it’s a matter of seconds before Yoongi is clenching even harder, his body going stiff, whimpers becoming loud moans. Yoongi doesn’t stay where he is for more than five seconds. He rolls off Hoseok, still panting from his orgasm, gets on his knees beside Namjoon, quickly reaching for the lube, covering one of his palms with it and bringing that palm to Namjoon’s cock, making him double over, his body clenching around Hoseok. The clenching actually feels good this time.

When Namjoon looks back at Hoseok, his breath gets caught in his throat. Holy shit. There actually is come on Hoseok’s face. And on his chest. And in his hair. And he looks so fucking beautiful marked up like that, fuck.

Namjoon picks up the speed, rocks on Hoseok harder, spurred by how fucking good it feels to have Yoongi’s hand working his shaft.

“Oh, my god,” Hoseok says. “Oh, my god. Oh, my god.”

“Don’t come,” Namjoon says, leaning over Hoseok, grabbing Hoseok’s jaw with one hand, smearing some of Yoongi’s come on his chin.

Hoseok whines, eyebrows furrowed.

“You’re gonna be good for me,” Namjoon states, staring right into Hoseok’s eyes. “You’re gonna be good for me and hold on a little longer, yeah?” Hoseok nods. “That’s right,” Namjoon lifts his hips and shoves them back down, making Hoseok choke on his own moan. “That’s right, baby. You’re always good for me, aren’t you?” Hoseok nods again. “Always so fucking good for me.”

Hoseok’s eyes clench tight, and he lets out a tiny sob. Namjoon can feel Hoseok’s cock throbbing inside him, and fuck, Namjoon actually starts warming up, getting closer to orgasming. Not there yet. Not yet. But closer. Maybe Hoseok will actually be able to pull through for him. Namjoon knows Hoseok will try.

Yoongi speeds up his stroking, focusing them on the head of Namjoon’s cock, making them so fucking tight.

“You’re doing so well,” Namjoon tells Hoseok, shifts his hips just a bit to make sure Hoseok’s hitting his prostate.

Hoseok whimpers, opening his eyes, and all Namjoon can think is: Mine. Mine. He’s fucking mine. No other girls. No kissing in clubs. He’s mine, and he’s Yoongi’s, and he’s mine.

“Fuck,” Namjoon exclaims, his entire body clenching, breath punched out of him. It hurts. It hurts, and he’s coming. And Hoseok is crying out and coming too. And fuck, “Fuck, fuck.”

His come shoots out and joins Yoongi’s on Hoseok’s chest, some of it going as far as Hoseok’s neck. Yoongi keeps stroking Namjoon. He strokes Namjoon through it and after it’s over, and Namjoon just lets him, lets himself get oversensitive as his hips keep dropping onto Hoseok’s cock. And Namjoon may be oversensitive, but Hoseok is actually tearing up, Namjoon continuing to ride him even as he’s going soft inside. But Hoseok is good, Hoseok is perfect, so he lets Namjoon push him.

Namjoon only stops when he can’t take it himself anymore. He keeps himself seated on Hoseok’s now soft cock and turns to Yoongi who is finally letting go of Namjoon’s cock. Yoongi looks absolutely exhausted. Namjoon isn’t sure how Yoongi kept going after his orgasm, how he didn’t just collapse onto the bed. He cups Yoongi’s cheek, forces Yoongi to face him.

“You were being good for me too, weren’t you?” Namjoon whispers, running his thumb over Yoongi’s lips.

Yoongi’s lips open up, and Namjoon slides his thumb between them, watching as Yoongi nods.

“You were so good for me,” Namjoon says, and Yoongi nods again. “My baby,” another nod.

He looks at Hoseok again. His babies. Both of them. He pulls his finger out of Yoongi’s mouth, dragging it over Yoongi’s lips, feeling how soft they are.

He wants this man. He just had him, but he wants him again. In every sense of the word. He knows he shouldn’t, but he does. He wants this man, and he can admit it to himself. He wants him, and he loves him, and he needs him because he can’t imagine being without him. And he sees himself looking at Yoongi as that revelation falls onto him, but the feelings don’t change at all when he looks at Hoseok. He loves them both.

Reaching down and holding the base of the condom with his hand, Namjoon pulls off Hoseok. His body hurts in places it never has before, but he ignores it, tying the condom.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Namjoon asks, and Yoongi nods. Hoseok is still too out of it.

And Namjoon hurries, he really does, throwing the condom in the trash, running to the bathroom and first wetting a towel with warm water, wiping the lube between his ass cheeks, folding the towel, then coming back. He halts when he sees Yoongi cuddled up to Hoseok on the bed, both of them spent, exhausted, Yoongi pressing gentle kisses onto Hoseok’s temple. Hoseok, who still has his eyes closed. And Namjoon realizes that he loves them one more time.

When Namjoon climbs back onto the bed and begins wiping Hoseok’s body, Hoseok’s eyes stay closed. Namjoon cleans him off as best as he can, though the come in his hair is turning out to be a bit of a problem. Yoongi is watching him, and there’s only tiredness in his eyes, nothing else. Namjoon can’t let himself think too much right now. If he thinks too much, he might freak out, and he can’t do that right now. He needs to take care of them right now.

“I won’t sleep with other people,” Hoseok whispers eventually, his eyes still closed. “You still can if you want to, but I can’t,” he swallows. “I feel too guilty, I can’t.”

“I won’t…” Namjoon whispers before he can think to stop himself, and then decides not to stop. “I won’t either.”

Hoseok’s head turns to Yoongi, his eyes opening.

“Me neither,” Yoongi whispers so quietly Namjoon can barely hear.

“You don’t have to do that,” Hoseok says. “Not if it’s just about me, okay? You can if you want to, don’t hold back because of me, okay? I don’t want that.”

Yoongi nods, and Namjoon doesn’t do anything.

He means it. He won’t be sleeping with other people. He doesn’t want to. Didn’t want to today. Didn’t want to for over four months. How is he only realizing his feelings for them now? It should have been obvious before. He’s not sure when, but before. Do they feel something too? Is this why none of them are looking for other people to sleep with? It this why they refused the girls from earlier? Is it just about guilt? Is it about convenience?

“Let’s lie down on the pillows and sleep, yeah?” Namjoon offers, and Hoseok nods his head, sitting up. Namjoon pulls the blanket aside for them, and Hoseok gets under it first. Namjoon gestures for Yoongi to lie down as well but-

“You in the middle,” Yoongi whispers, so Namjoon does, waiting for Yoongi to turn off the bedside lamp and join them, then taking them both into his arms.

Not thinking tonight. He’s too tired to think. All he wants to do is hold them.

“Umm…” Hoseok whispers, his eyes closed. “Can I ask for another change of rules?”

Namjoon looks at him, worried, not sure what he could ask for.

“You can say no,” Hoseok adds. “I… uh, I want us to change the rule about only having sex when it’s all three of us together.”

“Why?” Namjoon asks gently.

There’s silence for a moment.

“We’re… losing a lot of… freedom because of not sleeping with other people,” Hoseok says. He bites his lower lip harshly. He does that when he’s lying. Is he lying? “We shouldn’t be even more confined because we have to find time that works for all three of us.”

It’s not that hard to find time, Namjoon wants to argue, but he doesn’t. It’s okay. Namjoon imagines Yoongi and Hoseok sleeping together just the two of them, and it’s okay. It’s okay so long as they come back to him. God, when did this happen to him?

“I’m okay with that,” Yoongi whispers, and Namjoon looks at him.

Yoongi closes his eyes and turns onto his side, wrapping his arms around Namjoon and pressing himself close.

“Yeah, me too,” Namjoon says without really thinking.

Hoseok leans closer to kiss him, and Namjoon kisses him back, soft and short. And then Hoseok shuffles down and places his head onto Namjoon’s chest.

It’s the second night they’re going to sleep together naked. They’ve just changed two rules. And Namjoon loves them. Too many things are changing at once.

“It was good for you, right?” Yoongi asks, but Namjoon is still too blank to answer. “Joon?”

“It was,” Namjoon answers.

“Would you ever do it again?” Yoongi asks.

Namjoon kisses Yoongi’s temple, “If you want me to.”

Yoongi doesn’t say anything back, and silence falls over them. Namjoon listens to the nothingness instead of listening to his own thoughts. His eyes find the digital clock on the wall. It’s two fifty-eight in the morning when he starts watching that clock, and three thirty-seven when he stops, looks down, finds Yoongi and Hoseok both sleeping and closes his eyes.

Chapter Text

It’s the second morning in a row that Namjoon wakes up to the feeling of someone tracing little patterns on his chest. He opens his eyes and finds Yoongi awake again, lying close beside him, his eyes half closed, gently touching him.

“Sorry,” Yoongi whispers. “Did I wake you up?”

Namjoon shakes his head, isn’t really awake enough to talk yet.

Hoseok is sleeping with his arm around Namjoon’s middle.

Yoongi doesn’t stop touching him this morning. He looks lost in thought, like he’s been awake for a while. The touches are light, patternless, like Yoongi is not thinking about what he’s doing.

Namjoon glances up at the digital clock on the wall. It’s seven fifty-six in the morning.

“Why are you not sleeping?” Namjoon asks.

“Not sure,” Yoongi whispers. They talk in hushed voices, letting Hoseok sleep.  

“You never wake up before the alarm clock,” Namjoon says.

“Haven’t been sleeping all that well,” Yoongi shrugs one shoulder. “I mean, I fall asleep fine. I Just… wake up every few hours.”

“Has that ever happened to you before?” Namjoon asks. It’s too early to be awake, they’re supposed to wake up around ten to finish getting ready for their flight.

“Before every time we release an album,” Yoongi answers.

“So, whenever you’re very stressed,” Namjoon says.

“I guess,” Yoongi says, stops tracing lines on Namjoon’s chest, lays his hand down, nuzzles his forehead into Namjoon’s shoulder.

“Why are you stressed now?” Namjoon asks.

“Bunch of reasons,” Yoongi says.

“Like what?” Namjoon asks.

“The tour,” Yoongi answers. “The new solo song, the English interviews, you, Hoseok, everything.”

“Me?” Namjoon asks.

Yoongi raises his head to look Namjoon in the eyes.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asks.

“Yeah,” Namjoon answers, eyebrows furrowing. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Last night, after…” Yoongi trails off, and Namjoon is suddenly hit by the memory of what they did the night before, immediately focusing on the slight burn that he still feels when he clenches his hole. “After we finished, you ran off so quickly, I- I was still kinda out of it, and Seok was very out of it, and I… I wanted to take care of you, but you ran off so quickly…”

“You wanted to take care of me?” Namjoon asks, trying to process everything that Yoongi is saying.

“Yeah…” Yoongi breathes. “I know that you… like the after-sex part, that you like cleaning us and making sure we’re okay and… just aftercare in general. And I didn’t even really think about taking that role away from you. But then I woke up in the middle of the night, and I thought about how you really opened up last night and let yourself be really vulnerable, and I thought that, if I were you, I’d probably want to be taken care of after something like tha-“

“No,” Namjoon cuts him off, shaking his head. “No, I’m glad I had that moment. It was the only moment that felt… familiar.”

“You really didn’t enjoy it, did you?” Yoongi asks, eyes concerned.

He wants to lie about it, tell Yoongi that it was amazing. But he can’t. And he doesn’t really want to lie. He’s never lied to Yoongi about anything sexual. Now’s not the time to start. There are enough other things he’s keeping from Yoongi right now anyway.

“Not in the beginning, no,” Namjoon answers. “It got better towards the end.”

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi says.

Namjoon shakes his head, “You have nothing to be sorry for. I wanted to. I wanted to try.”

Yoongi nods, “It was all very weird timing, you know? After the club… after everything that happened in the club.”

Yoongi’s gaze moves to Hoseok, and Namjoon’s eyes follow. He’s sleeping so soundly, his face relaxed and soft. Namjoon remembers those moments in the club so vividly. Hoseok kissing that girl, freaking out, looking for them, running to them, wiping her lipstick off his mouth in the car, looking so… small when they got back to the hotel room. Namjoon can’t see any of that concern on Hoseok’s face right now.

“I feel horrible about it,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon turns to look at him. “When he kissed her… they looked good together. He looked like he was having so much fun with her,” Yoongi shakes his head. “And here we are, ruining it for him.”

“Ruining?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah,” Yoongi shrugs. “Can you imagine… if they did sleep together, if they had that chance, maybe something bigger would have developed for them. Maybe she would have been good for him. Maybe she was… the one for him. And because of us- because he’s sleeping with us, because sleeping with us makes him feel too guilty to even try with someone else, he might… miss out- on his chance for a relationship, miss out on his chance for love.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows furrow. He doesn’t want to think about it. It’s too early. He’s too tired. Just hearing Yoongi talk about Hoseok possibly ending up with someone else makes Namjoon’s chest hurt. But Yoongi’s right. He’s right. So Namjoon nods and thinks about how Yoongi is ignoring the fact that Hoseok is not the only one who said he wouldn’t be sleeping with other people. He wouldn’t be the only one ‘missing out’.

“I think that might be why he asked to change the rule about all of us sleeping together,” Yoongi says, his eyebrows furrowed, eyes staying on Hoseok.

“He said it was because it’s too difficult to find time for all of us to sleep together,” Namjoon says, remembers Hoseok biting his lower lip as he said those words, hesitating.

“He was lying,” Yoongi states, like it’s so simple. “Don’t tell me you didn’t see it.”

Namjoon stays quiet. There’s a lump forming in his throat that he tries to swallow down.

“Do you think it could be that he asked for it because he wants to distance himself?” Yoongi asks, his jaw clenching, eyebrows furrowing deeply. “Because he realized that he might miss out on his chance for love if he keeps sleeping with us, so he wants to get us used to having sex without him, so that he could leave us without feeling guilty?”

“I don’t-“ Namjoon swallows against the lump in his throat. There wasn’t enough time for him to think about this. Everything Yoongi is saying is… bombarding. Too much. “I don’t know.”

Yoongi’s gaze turns to him, so full of pain, but then his eyes dart over Namjoon’s face, his eyebrows smooth out, confusion tinting his features, very quickly switched by his eyes widening in surprise.

“You’re crying?” Yoongi whispers, and suddenly Namjoon feels the wetness in his eyes. “No, no, don’t cry,” Yoongi cups his cheek. The tears haven’t actually fallen yet, but they’re there, blurring his vision. “I don’t want him to leave either.”

Namjoon watches the worry in Yoongi’s eyes and wants to say ‘I love you’. He wants to hear Yoongi say it back. That’s all he wants. Is it really so much to ask for? Yoongi kisses Namjoon’s cheek, then presses their foreheads together, his eyes squeezing shut. He said he doesn’t want Hoseok to leave. Is that not admitting feelings? Is that not admitting that he cares? But of course he cares. Of course he cares. It could mean nothing. Namjoon closes his eyes, letting the tears slip out and wet his temples.

Yoongi opens his eyes, and they’re wet too, and Namjoon feels terrible for making him hurt. ‘I love you,’ Namjoon wants to say and doesn’t.

“I-“ Yoongi starts then doesn’t say anything, just closes his eyes again. It could be though. Yoongi might feel it too. They’re both lying here, crying at the prospect of Hoseok leaving them. How can Yoongi not feel it? He must feel it.

Hoseok shifts, pressing himself closer to Namjoon’s side, and Namjoon freaks out for a second, not wanting him to wake up to the two of them crying. Yoongi watches Hoseok resettle and sigh, then lies back down, facing Namjoon, and Namjoon turns his head to look at him as well.

Yoongi’s palm finds its place on Namjoon’s cheek again, his thumb gently wiping the wetness from Namjoon’s temple, his eyes meet Namjoon’s, and Namjoon can’t look away. He has no idea how long they lie there, looking into each other’s eyes, but it feels like a long time. Namjoon keeps thinking ‘I love you’. He’s thinking it so hard he’s afraid he might be projecting it somehow, afraid that Yoongi will somehow hear, even though he knows it’s impossible. But Yoongi is looking too, not backing away, and maybe Namjoon is projecting his own feelings back at himself, but he thinks that maybe Yoongi is thinking the same thing.

Yoongi’s eyelids start drooping eventually, though he looks like he’s trying to fight it, holding eye contact with Namjoon. But he falls asleep anyway, and Namjoon misses his eyes. It’s difficult to stop himself from thinking now that he’s not distracted by Yoongi. He tries to push the thoughts back, to take whatever time there is left before the alarm goes off and make the best out of it, but Yoongi’s words echo in his head, and he knows there’s no chance he’ll be falling asleep any time soon.

Ruining Hoseok’s chances of finding love. That’s how Yoongi sees it. And maybe he’s right.

With Yoongi, even just looking at what he said this morning, maybe there’s a chance that Namjoon is not imagining things, that he’s not alone in his feelings. But it’s more than just that. Yoongi doesn’t want to sleep with other people. Yoongi said no to hooking up with a girl who was offering. Yoongi doesn’t want Hoseok to leave them. Yoongi tried to do the same thing he thinks Hoseok is doing – distancing himself. He tried to leave two nights ago after they had sex, wanted to leave Hoseok and Namjoon alone. Maybe he realized that sleeping with them might ruin his chances of finding love, so he tried to go, to get Hoseok and Namjoon used to being alone so that he wouldn’t feel guilty about leaving.

But he stayed. So maybe those… chances of finding love are not something that Yoongi needs. Maybe he’s already found love – in the same place Namjoon found it. Namjoon flashes back to calling Yoongi ‘my baby’ last night, and Yoongi nodding in response. And the way Yoongi looked into Namjoon’s eyes right now… that can’t mean nothing. It can’t. Yoongi’s changed so much since the time they started all of this. He’s opened up so much, crossed so many lines. He let them in, bared his heart to them. There’s a chance with him. Maybe. If Namjoon allows himself to be hopeful for a moment.

But Hoseok. What’s the evidence? What does Namjoon have to go on? Hoseok kissed that girl. Yes, he pushed her away. Yes, he felt guilty. Yes, he said that he didn’t want to do it. But he still did it. The feeling of domesticity, of easy affection that they had before… it’s kind of hard to read it as love when, the minute Hoseok had someone else, he kissed her. He kissed her. And then he asked to break up their trio. Well. Maybe not break up but… separate. And yeah, Yoongi’s right, he was lying when he explained why he asked for the rule change. Or, at least, he wasn’t telling the full truth.

And nothing’s changed with him. Hoseok is still the exact same Hoseok as when they started all of this. What are the chances with him? What are the odds that he feels something for them too? Can Namjoon even see himself being just with Yoongi and not both of them? What a morbid thought. He doesn’t think he can see himself without Hoseok. At least he would have Yoongi, but the thought of not having Hoseok… he doesn’t want to think it. It’s a horrible thought. And who said he could even have Yoongi in the first place?

When the alarm clock goes off some time later, Yoongi and Hoseok both grunt. Hoseok flips over and turns off the alarm clock, leans towards Namjoon and bends down like he’s about to kiss him, but then right as he’s leaning in, his eyes open, and he hesitates. Namjoon doesn’t want him to hesitate, so he leans in the rest of the way and presses his lips to Hoseok’s. The action might have brought back some of Hoseok’s confidence because he doesn’t hesitate before leaning in and kissing Yoongi.

Their short time together in Hoseok’s room passes mostly quietly. Namjoon’s definitely awake enough to feel the tension, and he’s awake enough to maybe say something to ease said tension. But he’s not ready to talk yet, so he hides under the pretense of sleepiness, gets dressed in the clothes from the night before and picks up his things, same as Yoongi. Yoongi leaves Hoseok’s room quite quickly, but before Namjoon can do the same, Hoseok stops him.

“How are you?” Hoseok asks softly.

“Okay,” Namjoon answers. “Why?”

“Last night…” Hoseok trails off.

“Oh,” Namjoon breathes.

“Are you okay?” Hoseok asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Namjoon answers.

“You sure?” Hoseok insists. “Does it… hurt? Or…”

“It doesn’t hurt,” Namjoon smiles gently. “It feels a little weird still, but-“

Hoseok nods, “And everything else?”

Namjoon is not sure what Hoseok is referring to.

“Umm…” Hoseok starts. “Last night was… a lot,” he looks away. Is he going to apologize again? “I- just… are we okay?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon breathes. “Yeah, of course we are.”

Hoseok smiles, but there’s something tight about that smile, something forced, “Okay… Okay.”

Namjoon places his hand on Hoseok’s neck, making him look up.

“We’re okay,” Namjoon insists, trying to comfort Hoseok even though he doesn’t fully believe his own words. He wonders if Hoseok can tell. “Everything’s okay.”

They should talk, Namjoon realizes. The must. They have to get together all three of them and discuss things, follow the few rules they have left. But not yet. He hasn’t figured everything out in his own head. He needs to figure himself out first, make some sense out of everything, stop being so emotional and think. Then, he’ll be able to sit down and have a conversation with them.

But for now, he needs to pack. So he goes to his room and does just that. Everyone gathers together and are driven to the airport, going through security and ascending their private jet. Namjoon is the first to get on the plane, and he quickly finds himself a window seat in their private cabin. Seokjin sits, facing him, in the opposite window seat. Yoongi immediately sits next to Namjoon, Hoseok takes the spot next to Seokjin, in front of Yoongi. Jimin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk settle somewhere behind them.

They take off. When the plane finally stops rising, Namjoon watches Yoongi unbuckle himself and pull out his headphones and contemplates doing the same, but decides he’d rather just listen to the sounds of the plane this time. It’s a short flight anyway. He leans back and listens to the engine, to the faint bass sound coming out of Yoongi’s headphones, to Jimin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk’s voices somewhere in the background. The next time he takes a look at his watch, he realizes that an hour out of the four has already passed, and he’s wasting his time by not thinking. Maybe he just doesn’t want to think for once.

“You’re not the only one who got laid last night,” he hears Taehyung’s voice coming closer from behind him.

Seokjin raises his head, and Namjoon can almost see his ears perking up.

“You mean Joon, Seok, and Yoongi?” Jimin asks. “I know.”

“Oh, no, no, no,” Taehyung draws out the words, his voice coming closer, suddenly appearing beside them and dropping onto the aisle seat on their other side, smirking, then pointing at Seokjin.

Hoseok looks at Seokjin with his eyebrows raised, Yoongi takes off his headphones, and Jimin and Jeongguk appear next to them too, sitting down on the floor between the two aisles.

“How did you know?” Seokjin asks.

“Well,” Taehyung rubs his hands together. “It required a lot of detective work,” he declares. “First, I walked through the corridor to Jeongguk’s room and smelled your ‘getting laid’ cologne-“

“My ‘getting laid’ cologne?“ Seokjin cuts in.

“-then I calculated the time between when you left and when you returned,” Taehyung ignores him, gesticulating dramatically, “then, I compared that time to the average time men spend at bars and,” Taehyung gasps dramatically, “realized that your visit was far too short. That, combined with your ‘getting laid’ cologne could only mean one thing…”

“We were playing around, and Taehyung randomly looked through the peephole at some point,” Jeongguk says dryly, “and saw you coming back with a girl.” He pauses. “Then we just listened.”

“Aish,” Taehyung gently kicks Jeongguk shoulder with his foot, and Jeongguk laughs. “Ruining my dream of being a detective.”

“You got laid?” Hoseok asks, smiling widely and slapping Seokjin’s shoulder. “Good for you!”

“And what a lay it was…” Taehyung shakes his head.

Seokjin blinks at him, “Excuse me?”

“Whatever you did to her…” Taehyung starts. “Whatever it was that made her moan so loudly… gave innocent Jeonggukie here a boner, and we had to move to my room because of it.”

Jeongguk promptly gets up and climbs on Taehyung, doing a mix of kicking and ticking him.

“You’re not denying it,” Taehyung chokes out between laughs, and Jeongguk drops off Taehyung and back onto the floor, fully red in the face.

“You got laid too?” Seokjin asks, looking at Jimin, ignoring both of them.

“Oh, yeah,” Jimin nods.

“How’d it go?” Yoongi asks, stretching out his legs.

“To put it simply,” Jimin says dryly. “My ass is very happy today.”

Yoongi purses his lips and raises his eyebrows, nodding, “Nice.”

“It was,” Jimin smiles innocently.

“Wait,” Taehyung sits up, still panting from the giggles. “That means…” he pouts. “Kookie and I were the only ones who didn’t get laid yesterday.”

“I told you you could go,” Jeongguk protests. “You didn’t have to stay with me. It was just a headache.”

“But I wanted to stay with my Kookie,” Taehyung hugs Jeongguk from the back, over the armrest.

“Then don’t complain,” Jeongguk whispers.

“Besides,” Taehyung continues as if he didn’t hear him. “Watching you get all confused because of your boner was really funny.”

“I wasn’t confused,” Jeongguk whispers angrily, blushing. “I was annoyed that I got it in front of you.”

“It was really cute,” Taehyung coos at him.

“Stop teasing him,” Seokjin interferes. “It’s not his fault that he’s a virgin.”

“What do you mean not his fault?” Taehyung laughs.

“It kind of is his fault,” Jimin adds, shrugging.

“It’s not-“ Jeongguk cuts in then stops. Everyone turns to look at him. “It’s not my fault, it’s my choice, okay?” He’s irritated. No one says anything, not interrupting. “I know that I could get laid if I wanted to. I just don’t-“ he huffs out a breath, speaking quickly. “I wanna have sex, okay? I do. And I know there are people I could hook up with, but… I don’t want it to be a hookup,” he shrugs. “I want it to… mean something. I want it to be… not just sex, okay? And I know that’s kind of a lot to ask for in this line of work, but…” he trails off, and Taehyung gently rubs his shoulders, his body visibly relaxing. “I don’t want my first time to be a hookup. I wanna be… in love and… I want it to be special and,” he blushes. “And I’ve already waited so long, what’s a little longer?”

Jimin shifts and lies down on Jeongguk’s thigh.

“You’re a romantic,” Jimin whispers. “It’s sweet.”

Jeongguk blushes some more.

“I do… believe in love,” Jeongguk whispers, then his gaze travels up, and Namjoon might be imagining it, but it feels like Jeongguk is looking right at him when he says it.

“You might have a better understanding of love than most of us,” Jimin whispers, nuzzling into Jeongguk’s thigh, and Jeongguk’s fingers run through Jimin’s hair.

Yoongi puts his headphones back on his ears and turns onto his side, towards Namjoon, then pulls his feet up and curls into a ball, his eyes closing. Namjoon softly rubs Yoongi’s calf, pointedly not leaning in to kiss him. When he catches Hoseok looking at them, he kind of expects Hoseok to smile. He normally smiles when he sees them being affectionate like that. But he doesn’t smile this time, and Namjoon doesn’t know why.

It might be that Hoseok is still upset about the club, about kissing that girl, that he’s still feeling guilty. It also might be that Yoongi is right and Hoseok is distancing himself, that he’s already started. Now, looking away from them and focusing on his phone. Earlier, in bed, when he hesitated before leaning in to kiss Namjoon. Namjoon hopes that Yoongi is wrong. He hopes so badly. They really do need to talk.

They land in LA in the evening, and Namjoon is somewhat comforted by the familiar language. Their rooms in the hotel they’ll be staying in get scanned, and, by the time they finally settle in, it’s already late.

Namjoon sits on his bed and looks at his phone. He’s finished answering all the texts he got during the flight, same with the emails, and now, he’s just sitting and staring at their silent threeway chat, wondering if they’ll text. Namjoon doesn’t text them. He wants to. Wants to hold them and make them feel good and tell them that he loves them. But he’s not ready. If he texts them now, and they agree to come, and he holds them and makes them feel good, he can’t promise to himself that the words ‘I love you’ won’t slip out. And he’s not ready.

He thinks Hoseok might text. He’s almost always the first to text. He was the brave one who texted after Yoongi cried. He was the one who made that difficult step. But he doesn’t text either. And Namjoon can’t even really excuse that with tiredness this time because they’ve all slept fine the night before and had plenty of time to rest during the day. It’s a very obvious choice on their part not to have sex tonight even though they’re all available. Even though it would be easy. But it wouldn’t be easy, would it? It hasn’t been easy for a while now.

Maybe Namjoon fell in love too fast. He’s only realized it yesterday, and somehow, he’s already accepted it. Shouldn’t it be more difficult for him to accept that he’s in love with his two best friends? It’ll change everything. Whether they feel the same or not doesn’t matter, things will change regardless. Everything will be different.

But it wasn’t really that fast. Namjoon realized yesterday, yeah, but this feeling doesn’t seem new. All Namjoon did was give a name to something that was already there, for who knows how long. Maybe that’s why he’s accepted it so quickly. It feels like a long time coming. Like this realization has slowly been brewing inside him, and now that it’s here, now that it has a name, all he wants to do is get it out, tell them. He can’t hold it in. Holding it in feels like lying. He wants to tell them so badly, but he’s so fucking scared. So scared of being rejected, of ruining the good thing that they’ve been building for over four months, of ruining more than that, ruining the good thing they’ve had for years as friends.

He goes to sleep that night in a foreign bed and covers himself with foreign sheets and feels more alone than ever. Although, at least he understands why now. He misses them. He loves them. He wants them here. He’s so scared. So it’s no surprise that he doesn’t sleep well.

The next day is a long day of interviews.

Namjoon spends the majority of the day talking in English, translating to English. He watches not only Yoongi and Hoseok, but the rest of the members as well, trying to get them involved, trying to help them answer. It takes up so much of his concentration, and quite frankly, he’s really happy about the distraction.  

Sometime around eight pm, they’re finished with the interviews, and at the same time, Namjoon’s phone buzzes. He unlocks it, expecting- he’s not sure what. Not this though. Not for Hoseok to text in their threeway chat asking if they could meet in Yoongi’s room later. Not meeting to talk, Namjoon assumes, and he’s both happy and unhappy about it. They should talk. Or maybe they shouldn’t. God, what’s with this lack of decisiveness?

Maybe doing what they’re used to doing will be good for them though. Namjoon will just have to watch himself, make sure he doesn’t slip up and say something he’s not ready to say. If he’s not ready to talk, if he doesn’t have enough information, maybe, now that he knows how he feels about them, doing the physical will help him notice something that he missed before. More clues. More data. More to go on. Yeah. So, his fingers type in his consent before he’s fully done considering it.

Yoongi agrees too.

They’ve set the time for half an hour after they get back to their hotel, and fuck if that time doesn’t pass quickly. It feels like Namjoon has just had enough time to change into a different shirt, and the half-hour has already run out.

He picks up his keycard and steps out of his room only to find Hoseok doing the same thing a few doors down. They look at each other, and Hoseok offers Namjoon a little smile which Namjoon can’t help but return. They both walk up to Yoongi’s room, knock on the door and watch as Yoongi opens it. And then Namjoon’s phone buzzes, and maybe he shouldn’t look at it, but he does.

“Shit,” Namjoon whispers.

“What?” Yoongi asks.

“PDnim,” Namjoon says. “Said that people from some important magazine contacted him, asking if we can do a phone interview. Said it’s important. Asked if I can come right now.”

“That’s good,” Yoongi says. “We can wait. Go.”

“I don’t know how long this’ll take,” Namjoon looks from Yoongi to Hoseok, and it hits him. If he leaves right now, it doesn’t mean that the whole thing is going to be called off. Yoongi and Hoseok can have sex just the two of them. Without him.

It seems like the realization hit all of them at the same time.

“You can…” Namjoon tries then stops. This might not be what Hoseok was really hoping for with his rule changing request. That is, if Yoongi is right, and Hoseok’s intention really is to distance himself. Yoongi and Hoseok look at each other. They’re hesitating. Is the hesitation because of Namjoon? He should reassure them. “I mean… you can without me, it’s okay.”

It’s quiet for a moment.

Namjoon wonders what they’re thinking.

They don’t really have a valid reason to refuse to have sex just the two of them, do they? It’ll look really bad if they refuse each other. If Namjoon was in their shoes, he wouldn’t want to say no to this. Not even because it would look bad. But because he loves both of them separately too, not just together. If they were in a good place, if they were… in a relationship, if they all knew that they have feelings for each other, then there wouldn’t be any hesitation right now.

“It’s a phone interview. If you’re done very quickly,” Yoongi starts. “You can just… join us.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon says. That’s not an option he thought of.

It’s okay if they have sex without him. It really is. He’s not worried that this will somehow be dismissive of him. So long as they come back to him, it’s okay. And if he can just join them in the middle, it’s even better.

“Yeah,” Hoseok breathes. He looks around, to one side of the hallway then to the other. It’s empty. Then his eyes turn to Namjoon, to Namjoon’s lips. No. Can’t kiss in the hallway. Hoseok wouldn’t risk it. “Just…” Hoseok starts, looks around again, exhales harshly and tugs Namjoon into Yoongi’s room, closes the door and pushes Namjoon against it.

He kisses Namjoon. Fierce and kind of desperate. Namjoon’s hands come up to his hips and squeeze, tongue pushing against his, giving back as best as he can, kind of desperate too. He’ll say no to the interview. He won’t leave. He doesn’t want to leave. He has to leave. Work first, sex second. Work second, love first? Work first. He’ll go do the interview, finish quickly and come back to them. Yes. He pulls back from Hoseok.

“You be good for each other, yeah?” Namjoon breathes.

Hoseok nods frantically, “Yeah.”

Yoongi also nods, lower lip caught between his teeth.

Namjoon moves away from Hoseok and walks up to Yoongi, cups Yoongi’s cheeks in both hands and kisses him too. Yoongi lets out a shaky breath through his nose and doesn’t allow the kiss to get desperate. He keeps it soft. Nothing like Namjoon’s kiss with Hoseok. Why does it fucking feel like saying goodbye? Namjoon’s being so overly dramatic. Everything’s fine.

“Make him feel good for me, okay? I want you to make each other feel good,” He tells Yoongi, and Yoongi nods, swallows, backs away from Namjoon, closer to Hoseok.

Namjoon takes a deep breath and turns to leave.

“Wait,” Yoongi says, walks to his bedside table, picks up his keycard then hands it to Namjoon. “Just come in after you’re done. Don’t knock, don’t- just come in.”

Namjoon takes the keycard from him and nods, leans in to peck him on the lips one last time, then leaves.

 

Almost an hour. That’s how long the interview takes. Fifty-seven minutes exactly since Namjoon gets to Bang PD’s room. It’s not a bad thing, Namjoon distantly thinks. The interview was going really well, that’s why it lasted that long. The interviewers were clearly interested. Namjoon thinks he’s made some important points. And yet, it was the longest motherfucking fifty-seven minutes of his fucking life.

Yoongi and Hoseok are done by now. They must be. If they started right after he left, then it’s over. They’re done. If they did anal then it would’ve taken longer, but they would still be finished by now. Hell, even if they didn’t start right after he left, they’re done by now. God, he wishes he was there. Wishes he had been there to see it. Even if he didn’t fucking participate at all. He just wishes he was there with them.

Walking through the hallways back to Yoongi’s hotel room, clutching Yoongi’s keycard in his hand, all he can think about is that he’s nervous. He’s so nervous his hands are shaking. He’s nervous to come back and see them lying together, without him, not needing him. It’s unfounded, that fear. They want him there too, he’s sure of it. The fucking goodbye kisses were indication enough. He wasn’t afraid of being dismissed by them before, why is he afraid of it now?

He pauses when he gets to Yoongi’s door. Hesitates. He’ll just come in and lie down with them and hug them and kiss them and make them feel good with cuddles. That’s it. It’ll be fine. They want him there.

He opens the door.

Darkness. Silence. The sound of sheets shifting. Namjoon closes the door behind himself, effectively killing all sources of light. He places the keycard by the door and blinks a few times, his eyes adjusting to the darkness.

Yoongi and Hoseok are in each other’s arms, both looking at him.

“Hey,” Namjoon whispers.

“Come here,” Yoongi replies, and Namjoon does.

Yoongi lifts the blankets when Namjoon gets to the bed. They’re both dressed, and Namjoon wonders for a moment if they had sex at all. Maybe they didn’t want to do it without him. Yoongi reaches out and pulls Namjoon on top of himself. And no. No, when Yoongi kisses him, it’s slow and lazy, and Namjoon knows those kisses well enough to know that those are his post-sex kisses.

Actually, Namjoon finds that he’s quite happy that they had sex, even if he does wish he was there when it was happening. He’s glad to know that they can do it without him, that he’s not somehow the one holding it all together. He didn’t think to worry about it before, and he’s glad he doesn’t have to now. They need to love each other too, not just him.

“Did you make each other feel good?” Namjoon asks quietly, and Yoongi nods against his lips. Hoseok’s fingers wrap around Namjoon’s bicep.

“Lie down,” Yoongi says and scoots away from Hoseok, making space for Namjoon between the two of them. They’re so warm.

The moment Namjoon’s back is against the mattress, he has two pairs of lips on him. He tips his head back and lets them kiss his neck, wondering how he’s supposed to react to this. And then Yoongi’s fingers trail down his stomach, and to Namjoon, their destination very clear.

“Wait,” Namjoon breathes, and they both stop, looking at him. “You don’t have to.”

“We want to,” Hoseok whispers, cupping Namjoon’s crotch. Namjoon’s not hard. Not yet. They really don’t have to. This was their moment. It’s okay that he wasn’t part of it. It’s okay. He wishes he was part of it. But it’s okay.

“You both came, right?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah,” Yoongi says, his hand joining Hoseok’s on Namjoon’s groin, and Namjoon is starting to get hard. He doesn’t mean to. It’s just what his body does when they touch him.

“Then-“ Namjoon tries. “Then I won’t-“ he tries again, can’t find the words. “You’re finished, you-“

“You don’t have to touch us back,” Yoongi says. “We wanna touch you,” his eyes find Namjoon’s, and it’s dark in the room, it’s really dark, but Namjoon doesn’t have to see Yoongi to believe the words he’s saying. “This is what we want,” Yoongi whispers, holding Namjoon’s half-hard cock through his pants. “You like giving us what we want.”

Namjoon sighs, shifting a bit higher on the bed. Giving them what they want. Making them feel good without touching them. Namjoon swallows. He gets it.

“Give us what we want,” Yoongi pleads, and then he’s sliding down the bed, and Hoseok follows him, the two of them on their bellies on top of Namjoon’s thighs, their hands fumbling for the waistband of his sweatpants.

“Are you sure?” Namjoon asks. Is this what’s going to make them feel good? Is making him feel good really going to make them feel good enough?

“Yes,” Hoseok answers, and the two of them pull Namjoon’s sweatpants and underwear down enough to have his almost fully hard cock bob out onto his stomach. He doesn’t lift his hips, can’t with them lying on top of him. They each use a hand to hold his sweatpants and underwear, keeping them from riding back up, their elbows braced on the mattress, other hands free to touch.

Yoongi’s fingers gently wrap around the base of Namjoon’s cock and hold it up, and the two of them lean towards him at the same time, lips on his shaft.

Namjoon sighs, hands reaching forward, brushing the backs of their heads.

They look up at him, and they’re so fucking beautiful. He loves them. God, he loves them so much.

Long licks, up and down on his shaft, each of them taking a side, a shudder coursing through Namjoon’s whole body, goosebumps rising on his skin. He’s so hard.

“Oh, babies,” Namjoon breathes when he sees their tongues touch. Their lips meet, and Namjoon cradles their heads and watches them kiss, his cock upright in Yoongi’s hand, shiny with their spit, even in the darkness. “You’re so… oh, god.”

When they separate, Yoongi leads Namjoon’s cock to Hoseok’s mouth, and Hoseok, with his eyes open and looking up at Namjoon, wraps his lips around the tip.

Yoongi kisses Hoseok’s temple, releases Namjoon’s shaft, now being held upright only by Hoseok’s lips, and reaches for Namjoon’s balls, cupping them softly, lifting them so he could kiss them.

Hoseok takes him in deeper, pulling up and going back down. Namjoon contemplates holding up his own shaft for Hoseok, knowing how heavy it must be for Hoseok to just hold it like that with his lips. But Hoseok looks so pretty like this, he’s working hard and-

“You’re doing such a good job,” Namjoon breathes, fingers running through Hoseok’s hair.

Yoongi’s eyes rise to Namjoon’s, he pulls one of Namjoon’s balls into his mouth, rolls it across his tongue, and maybe it’s just Namjoon, maybe he’s imagining things because he’s tired and worried and so turned on, but he thinks that Yoongi is waiting to be praised too.

“You too, baby,” Namjoon says, watching Yoongi’s eyes flutter closed. “So pretty like this. Make me feel so good.”

Deeper into Hoseok’s mouth. So deep Namjoon feels the back of Hoseok’s throat. And Hoseok keeps going, pushing past his own gag reflex a little and pulling back up. He can’t take all of Namjoon yet, but he takes a lot. More than Namjoon has ever been able to. Hoseok’s improved so much since the beginning.

Yoongi lets go of Namjoon’s balls and comes back up to lick Namjoon’s shaft where Hoseok doesn’t reach. His fingers wrap around Namjoon’s cock again, and he gently, slowly, moves Namjoon’s cock aside in a way that forces Hoseok to let it go. And then Yoongi takes Namjoon’s tip into his mouth, sucks on it for a moment, flicks his tongue over the slit, makes Namjoon hiss at how good it feels, then pulls off and offers Namjoon’s cock back to Hoseok, who does the same thing – sucks a bit and releases, giving it back to Yoongi.

“You like this, don’t you?” Namjoon whispers as Yoongi circles his tongue around Namjoon’s tip, then hands his cock back to Hoseok. He doesn’t expect the question to be answered. He knows the answer.

“Love sucking your cock,” Yoongi says while Hoseok sucks Namjoon’s tip again.

“I know,” Namjoon says, moving his hand away from Yoongi’s hair and taking hold of his own shaft, pulling it away from Hoseok and bringing the tip to Yoongi’s lips. Yoongi opens his mouth. “Close it.”

Yoongi closes his mouth, and Namjoon drags the tip of his cock over Yoongi’s soft lips, smears precome all over them, then does the same thing to Hoseok when he leans closer. He makes their lips shiny with it. So fucking gorgeous.

“Kiss it,” Namjoon whispers, and they both do as he says, their warm lips enveloping his tip, kissing it, kissing each other.

Namjoon’s head lolls back for a moment, and he exhales roughly, then looks back down and reaches for Yoongi’s hair, pressing lightly on the back of Yoongi’s head, encouraging Yoongi to take him into his mouth.

“That’s it,” Namjoon exhales as Yoongi takes more, lower and lower, guided by Namjoon’s hand, slowly and steadily pulling him all the way in, nose in Namjoon’s groin. “Fuck, baby, so good.”

Yoongi holds himself down there, his throat fluttering around Namjoon, and Namjoon inhales calmly once, twice, keeping his hips pinned to the mattress. Hoseok leans over and kisses Yoongi’s throat, right under his adam’s apple, and Namjoon can… Namjoon can actually feel Hoseok’s lips pressing to his shaft.

“Fuck,” Namjoon whispers, and Yoongi pulls up, inhaling sharply as Namjoon’s cock slips out of his mouth. Namjoon touches Yoongi’s cheek. “You’re so incredible.”

Yoongi smiles, bites his lower lip and ducks down again, taking Namjoon in.

Everything is so slow. So serene. Yoongi is bobbing his head up and down on Namjoon’s shaft. Hoseok is sucking Namjoon’s balls. It’s calm, and Namjoon forgets that he’s worried for one moment and lets himself be enveloped in this peacefulness, lets the orgasm build slowly, gradually, warmth going up from his groin to his chest down his arms and his fingertips, then intensifying in the pit of his stomach and spreading down. Down his thighs and his calves, his toes curling. So close.

Namjoon takes hold of his shaft in one hand and Yoongi’s cheek in the other, pulling Yoongi away from his cock, and jerking himself off, tight and fast.

“Open your mouth,” Namjoon says, and Yoongi does. “You too.”

Hoseok rises and presses his cheek to Yoongi’s.

“Get your tongues out for me,” Namjoon says.

They do, looking up at him, and he’s so in love with them it fucking hurts.

He comes with a sigh, painting their tongues with streaks of white and watching them lick their own lips, then kiss each other, then Hoseok licks up a line of come on Yoongi’s cheek, and they kiss again, and Namjoon’s not sure he’s ever seen anything more beautiful in his life.

They raise his underwear and sweatpants back into place and climb up onto him, their bodies close. Namjoon wraps his arms around them and tugs them even closer, getting all three of them comfortably onto the pillows. When Yoongi kisses him, Namjoon doesn’t protest, gets their tongues all tangled together and tastes himself. Hoseok kisses Namjoon’s cheek, and Namjoon pulls away from Yoongi and kisses Hoseok, tasting himself there as well.

Yoongi’s groin is pressed to Namjoon’s hip, and his cock is… not completely hard but present, not soft for sure. Hoseok is soft. Namjoon wiggles his hand between his and Yoongi’s bodies and reaches for Yoongi’s groin, but Yoongi shakes his head.

“I came just before you got here,” Yoongi says. “Ignore it. You know blowing you turns me on.”

“Just before I got here?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah,” Yoongi answers, falling onto his side next to Namjoon, pressed up close, his arm around Namjoon’s middle. It makes sense that Yoongi was getting hard and Hoseok was not then. It takes longer for Hoseok to get it back up than it does for Yoongi.

“Took you longer than I expected,” Namjoon says, pulling Hoseok to lie mostly on top of him, his hand on Namjoon’s chest.

“It didn’t take us long,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon doesn’t follow.

“We waited,” Hoseok whispers, and Yoongi nods. “We were just… kissing, waiting for you to come back.”

“We thought you’d finish with the interview sooner,” Yoongi adds.

Hoseok nods, “So we were waiting, but you weren’t coming, and then we thought about how… you told us to make each other feel good, and we weren’t doing it, and we…”

“Didn’t want to disappoint you,” Yoongi finishes.

“Oh, babies,” Namjoon breathes, squeezing them closer. “I wouldn’t have been disappointed,” he kisses Yoongi’s temple and Hoseok’s forehead. “Do you want to tell me about it? About how you made each other feel good?”

“We blew each other,” Yoongi says.

“Sixty nine,” Hoseok adds. “Yoongi was on top.”

“That’s hot,” Namjoon says, rubbing their backs. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi says, and Hoseok nods.

“It was weird to have fun without you,” Hoseok says, nuzzling into Namjoon’s neck.

“You more than made it up to me,” Namjoon presses another kiss to Hoseok’s forehead.

“We missed you,” Hoseok whispers into Namjoon’s neck, and Namjoon falls in love for the hundredth time. How can Hoseok say things like that and not feel love too?

“It was different without you,” Yoongi says, his hips pressing to Namjoon’s thigh, and whatever hardness was there before is gone. “It was like…” he trails off. “Like we got so used to you guiding us that once you weren’t there…”

He trails off again, and Namjoon flashes back to months ago, Namjoon and Yoongi on top of Hoseok, Yoongi telling Namjoon that he likes being in control. Does he still like being in control or has that changed too?

“You were kinda still there though,” Hoseok says. “Telling us to make each other feel good. It was like you were with us.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi breathes quietly. “It’ll probably be different when it’s you and me or you and Seok as well.”

Namjoon looks at Yoongi and imagines the two of them without Hoseok. It really would be different. Namjoon can’t imagine himself not missing Hoseok, not wanting him to be there. That can’t be a good thing, right? Polyamorous throuples don’t always have sex together, right? They should be able to do it separately too. God, he wishes he could just bring it up and ask them. He can’t though. If he asks, they’ll get suspicious, and he’s not ready for the possible rejection yet.

“Do you wanna try that?” Namjoon asks eventually.

“Try what?” Yoongi asks.

Namjoon hesitates, “Other… pairings? To see what it’s like?”

There’s no answer for the first few moments, and Namjoon wonders if just asking that is giving his feelings away. But they should be able to sleep together in twos if they’re in love. Right? Namjoon doesn’t fucking know how polyamory works.

“I mean…” Yoongi says. “I don’t see why not.”

And that’s the thing, isn’t it? Not seeing why not. Namjoon doesn’t see why he shouldn’t sleep with them separately either. He just knows that he wants them all together. What if he can’t have sex with just one of them? What if it doesn’t work? Or doesn’t feel good enough? Does that mean that a relationship wouldn’t work either? Maybe if he’ll be with them separately, he’ll know. Maybe he’ll sense their feelings more easily when they’re apart.

Questions. So many fucking questions and no answers. Indecisiveness at every fucking corner.

“Let’s not think about it right now, okay?” Yoongi says. “I’m tired,” he hugs Namjoon tighter. Namjoon is not really that tired. He’s thinking, overthinking. His brain is going a hundred miles a minute, not letting him be tired. But it makes sense that Hoseok and Yoongi are tired. He didn’t think about that. “Let’s sleep. We’ll do whatever comes naturally, okay?”

It was never supposed to be natural though. It was planned in advance, rules set and followed, perfectly executed. Naturalness is for couples, not friends with benefits. Not them. Not for them as they’re supposed to be.

“You’re right,” Namjoon whispers. “Whatever comes naturally.”

Hoseok tilts his head back and kisses Namjoon, locking their lips together for a few moments, and Namjoon closes his eyes and sees Hoseok in the club kissing that girl. His heart aches.

“Good night,” Hoseok whispers, holding eye contact.

“Good night,” Namjoon says. Hoseok shifts and presses his face into Namjoon’s shoulder.

‘I love you, be with me,’ Namjoon doesn’t say, but he really wants to.

 

They have a while in LA. Ten days until their first tour shows, then a week and a half of shows in LA, and only after that they’re moving to a different place. That means that the next few days are not as full, that they have time to walk around, to shop, to do things that are not strictly work. After that, intensive rehearsals start. But today, the three of them can actually sleep in the following morning. They have a quick photoshoot later in the day, a radio interview right after, and that’s it. Nothing else.

As the day goes by, Namjoon can really feel the stress levels of all of them go down. They’re talking about what they want to do after the radio interview, the places they want to visit. Jimin, Taehyung, Seokjin, and Namjoon are dying to go to The Broad museum. Hoseok really wants to see a dancer that he became friends with last time they were here. Yoongi’s face lights up talking about an old-school record store that he loves visiting when he’s in LA, and Jeongguk asks if he can go with him, to which Yoongi says yes with the biggest smile in the world.

It’s easy to be distracted by that, and time flies. He, Jimin, Taehyung, and Seokjin stay in the museum until the last possible second, and then go and eat in some restaurant, laughing, talking, high on freedom. It’s the calmest day they’ve had in a long time. Everyone’s good mood infects Namjoon so much he forgets to be worried. He lets himself have a break. Feels like he deserves a break. And so do Yoongi and Hoseok. He’s glad, in a way, that they’re not together this evening, that he can really spend his time concern-fee. Especially since the occasional text in their big group chat lets Namjoon know that Yoongi and Hoseok are having a good time too.

Namjoon’s elated by the time he gets back to the hotel, a smile on his face that he can’t seem to shake off. He lies down on his bed and looks through the photos he took with Jimin, Taehyung, and Seokjin, contemplating which ones he should post on Twitter, thinking about showing these photos to Yoongi and Hoseok. Maybe they could go to that museum together someday too. A date, maybe. He smiles to himself.  

‘How’s your day going?’ he texts each one of them separately.

‘hyung is playing piano with one of the guys in the store. It’s awesome,’ Namjoon gets as a reply from Yoongi’s phone, figuring that it’s Jeongguk who sent it. He receives a photo then, of Yoongi sitting on a piano bench next to some guy with a really long beard, the two of them smiling wide, hands on the piano. He hopes that Jeongguk is filming them.

‘great,’ Hoseok texts him a minute later, followed by a line of happy emojis. ‘on my way back to the hotel.’

Namjoon sighs and keeps smiling for a while.

The knock on his door takes him by surprise, and he quickly snaps out of it and gets up to open.

“I had the best day,” Hoseok says, a huge smile on his face, coming into the room like a storm. Namjoon looks at his phone and realizes it’s been ten minutes since he got that text from Hoseok, and all he’s done was lay on the bed and smile. What the hell?

He closes the door and is surprised once again when Hoseok strides up to him and plants a kiss on his lips. Namjoon smiles, and Hoseok starts talking.

It’s endless. Hoseok talks so excitedly about seeing his friend, about how good it was to catch up. He tells Namjoon some of the stories that they talked about, shows Namjoon pictures of the two of them, smiling, hugging. He asks Namjoon about his day too some time later, the two of them on Namjoon’s bed, cuddled together, looking at the pictures Namjoon took on his phone.

Honestly, Namjoon’s not even sure how they got to this position. It just… felt natural, and the domesticity of it all leaves Namjoon surprised once again. They’ve cuddled before. He’s never read into it. He’s reading into it now.

Hoseok was sitting on Namjoon’s bed, talking, and Namjoon sat down next to him. Then they scooted back, and Hoseok laid his head on one of Namjoon’s pillows and really, Namjoon didn’t even think to think before lying down next to him. The cuddles weren’t really on purpose either. They just happened. And now the two of them are looking into each other’s eyes, everything suddenly quiet, and the kiss seems to just… happen as well.

It all feels so… easy, kissing Hoseok, holding Hoseok, loving Hoseok. It reminds Namjoon that it’s not real yet, that he doesn’t actually know if Hoseok feels it back. He thinks about the club, about Hoseok’s lips covered in dark lipstick, and a little string of worry pulls at him again.

He keeps kissing Hoseok though. And it’s just a kiss, so it’s fine. It’s okay to be kissing without Yoongi. They’ve talked about it. He moves his lips against Hoseok’s languidly, with no intention to make the kiss any more than what it is now. But before long, his hands find Hoseok’s hips, and Hoseok is lying half on top of him, and if they don’t want this to turn into something more serious, then now would be the time to stop.

Hoseok pulls back, his eyes meeting Namjoon’s. He looks beautiful illuminated by the light of the bedside lamp, and Namjoon finds that he wants to take this further, that he wants to make Hoseok feel good, that he wants to know what it will be like without Yoongi. That last thought leaves him feeling guilty. He wants Yoongi here. Always. Always, always, always. But he’s curious about what it’ll be like without him, if it’ll feel different, if he’ll be able to read Hoseok better, get some clues, some evidence. He wants to know.

“Are we…” Hoseok lets the question hang in the air, and hang it does.

Namjoon doesn’t know what to answer. Yoongi doesn’t even know that they’re together right now. How can they do this without him knowing? Namjoon would want to know. Even if he’s not there with them, even if he’s okay with it, everything is so fragile right now, he would need to know if Yoongi and Hoseok were having sex without him. 

“Text him,” Hoseok says, probably sensing Namjoon’s hesitation.

“What?” Namjoon asks. Actually, Hoseok seems to be hesitating as well, his eyes a little wider than normal. Scared? Definitely worried.

“Ask him when he’s coming back,” Hoseok says.

Namjoon fumbles for his phone and texts Yoongi a simple ‘Seok and I are together in my hotel room. You coming back soon?’

‘not yet,’ Yoongi replies. ‘kook is learning piano tricks from the bearded guy in the picture he sent you earlier. He’s having fun. We both are.’

There’s a pause. Yoongi is typing, pausing, typing again. Hoseok is watching the phone with Namjoon.

‘you guys can without me,’ Yoongi texts.

‘another pairing. See what it’s like,’ Yoongi adds.

It sounds casual. Namjoon can practically hear Yoongi’s voice. But he knows better. It’s not casual. At least not for Namjoon. God. Maybe Namjoon’s overreacting. When Yoongi and Hoseok were without him, yes, he wanted to be there, yes, it wasn’t casual or usual or normal, but it was okay. He was okay with it because when he came back to them, they took him in. They’ll come back to Yoongi too. Namjoon’s overreacting.

Hoseok takes Namjoon’s phone from Namjoon’s hands and texts Yoongi in Namjoon’s name.

‘are you sure? we can wait,’ Hoseok looks at Namjoon before sending, waiting for permission. Namjoon nods. He can see Hoseok’s inner turmoil, and while he doesn’t like seeing Hoseok worried, it does make him feel a little better about his own maybe-not-overreaction.

No reply for a moment.

‘yes,’ Yoongi sends.

Then immediately after, ‘tell me about it later.’

‘definitely,’ Hoseok types, and when Namjoon nods, Hoseok hits send.

He types in ‘come to us after, okay?’ and Namjoon takes the phone back and hits send again.

‘okay,’ Yoongi texts back.

And they have permission. Namjoon supposes they didn’t really need it, since they agreed together than they can have sex in pairs, but he’s glad to have it. It’s good that Yoongi knows. Namjoon doesn’t want to go behind Yoongi’s back, to somehow make Yoongi feel like he’s not needed. Namjoon needs Yoongi as much as he needs Hoseok.

With the phone down and away, Namjoon turns back to Hoseok only to find Hoseok already looking at him. He’s reminded of his first kiss with Hoseok, the two of them on Yoongi’s bed alone, Yoongi in the bathroom. Hesitation. That’s what he felt then. He feels hesitation now too. Just of a different kind.

Hoseok kisses him. Namjoon kisses back, and the kiss is not any faster or any more frantic than before, but it’s still different. It’s different because they have permission, and Yoongi knows what’s going on, and Namjoon’s going to have Hoseok now. He pulls Hoseok on top of him, Hoseok’s knees on either side of his thighs, groin to groin, and keeps kissing him.

Hoseok’s hips shift against his, and it feels good. It does. Why did he ever think he wouldn’t be able to do this with only one of them? Namjoon runs his hands over the planes of Hoseok’s back, up and down, slowly, Hoseok’s shirt riding up, warm skin under Namjoon’s palms. When his hands slide down under Hoseok’s sweatpants and underwear to cup Hoseok’s ass, Hoseok makes a little sound. So Namjoon grabs him harder, tugs them both up into a sitting position, Namjoon’s back against the headboard, Hoseok sitting on top of him.

Namjoon kisses Hoseok’s neck, “What do you wanna do?”

“Don’t know,” Hoseok answers, tilting his head back. His cock is hard against Namjoon’s stomach.

“My baby’s so hard already,” Namjoon breathes into Hoseok’s neck, feeling Hoseok shudder. “What do you want me to do to you?”

Hoseok exhales shakily, “Anything.”

“Anything?” Namjoon asks, pulling back from Hoseok’s neck to look into Hoseok’s eyes. 

Hoseok nods. God, he’s always so pliant. So gorgeous. Namjoon cups his cheek, wrapping his other arm around Hoseok’s middle and rocking his hips against Hoseok’s ass. Hoseok sighs.

“Last time…” Hoseok trails off, his eyelids fluttering, nuzzling against Namjoon’s palm.

“What?” Namjoon asks gently.

“Last time,” Hoseok gulps, eyes closed, “you did something…”

“Good?” Namjoon tries, stops moving his hips, trying to get Hoseok to concentrate.

“Yeah,” Hoseok answers. “Something I liked.”

“What was it?” Namjoon asks, and Hoseok opens his eyes.

His lips are so pink from the kissing, his cheeks flushed, his pupils blown wide. God.

Hoseok doesn’t actually say anything. He takes Namjoon’s wrist in one of his hands and guides it down from his cheek to his neck, Namjoon’s thumb slipping away from his other fingers to form a loose circle around Hoseok’s throat.

Choking? Namjoon didn’t choke him last time. Or any other time for that matter. But Hoseok is looking at Namjoon like Namjoon should already know what he’s thinking. So, Namjoon very, very gently squeezes.

“This?” Namjoon asks, and when Hoseok shakes his head, Namjoon loosens his grip.

Hoseok takes Namjoon’s hand again and leads Namjoon’s fingers up to either side of his jaw, then squeezes Namjoon’s hand.

“Oh,” Namjoon breathes, holding Hoseok’s jaw a little tighter, remembering the way he grabbed Hoseok’s jaw two nights ago while riding him, smearing Yoongi’s come on his chin, telling him not to come. Hoseok lets go of his hand. “When I held you like this?”

Hoseok nods, and it looks like his eyes are losing focus.

He’s always let Namjoon take control, always been compliant. Namjoon is not surprised by him asking for this. He tilts Hoseok’s head back a bit, testing how much control Hoseok is already giving him, and Hoseok lets his head be moved without resistance.

And though Namjoon is not surprised, he’s still aware, still recognizes how much this means. He thinks about Yoongi, about how difficult it is for Yoongi to give away control. It’s easier for Hoseok to do that. It’s always seemed to be easier for him to be vulnerable. But Namjoon appreciates it nonetheless. He’s just learned what it really means to be vulnerable himself.

He finds himself wanting to thank Hoseok.

“You want me to hold you down? Tell you what to do?” Namjoon asks quietly, and after a moment of nothing, Hoseok nods. “Are you sure?”

Hoseok’s eyes open, “I want you to… not be gentle.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows furrow, “Not gentle?”

“No,” Hoseok shakes his head. “Not ‘not gentle’, more like… umm…”

“You want me to take control?” Namjoon asks.

Hoseok’s eyes meet his directly, “Yeah. And to not… treat me like I’m fragile. I can take it.”

Namjoon nods slowly, “You have to tell me though, if I’m doing something that you don’t like.”

Hoseok nods, and Namjoon slides his hand to the back of Hoseok’s neck.

“If you tell me to stop, I’ll stop,” Namjoon insists. “No matter what we’re doing.”

Hoseok nods again, and Namjoon wants to tell him that he loves him.

Now’s not the time though. Definitely not now. He needs Hoseok to be calm right now. Can’t drop that bomb on him. Namjoon will tell him eventually. When Namjoon is ready. When he feels like Hoseok might love him back. But not yet. Hoseok kissed her. Not yet. Namjoon kisses Hoseok.

He kisses Hoseok deep and hard and loving, lets his emotions pour into that kiss in full, because he may not be able to say it, but he sure as hell wants Hoseok to feel it. He wants Hoseok to feel it so much it seeps into Hoseok’s bones and makes him feel it too. Maybe the moan that Hoseok lets out is an indication that it’s working.

When Namjoon tugs at the hem of Hoseok’s shirt, Hoseok raises his hands and lets Namjoon take it off. Then Namjoon unzips Hoseok’s jeans and pulls his cock out of his underwear, wrapping a palm around it. He doesn’t stroke Hoseok for long, only long enough for Hoseok to whisper “Joon,” and his cock to twitch in Namjoon’s hand. Then Namjoon wraps both arms around him and gently turns them over, laying Hoseok onto his back, with Hoseok’s head by the foot of the bed, and climbing between Hoseok’s legs.

Hoseok is watching him, anticipation written all over his body. He’s not unfocused like before, not yet. It’s going to take a minute for him to get there, for him to let go for Namjoon completely. Namjoon’s glad Hoseok is watching him right now, that it almost seems like a test, like he needs to prove himself to Hoseok. Namjoon wants Hoseok to decide to give in, to decide that Namjoon is worthy, that Namjoon is good enough for him.

Still, Hoseok lets Namjoon raise his legs and tug his jeans and underwear off, then spreads his legs on either side of Namjoon’s body. He’s completely naked. Namjoon is completely clothed. It might just be Namjoon, but he thinks this adds to the power dynamics somehow, makes the distinction clearer in a way, like the situation is fully under Namjoon’s control.  

Namjoon runs his hands down the insides of Hoseok’s thighs and just appreciates him for a second. No matter how many times they do this, seeing Hoseok like this- seeing Hoseok and Yoongi like this takes his breath away. They’re just so stunning, and he feels so privileged. He needs to be more grateful for what he has instead of wanting more.

He bends down to kiss Hoseok’s knee and the inside of his thigh, pressing tiny kisses all the way to Hoseok’s cock. Then he lays a kiss on the base of Hoseok’s shaft, hears Hoseok exhale shakily, feels Hoseok’s cock twitch under him and takes Hoseok’s tip into his mouth for the sole purpose of hearing Hoseok whimper. Hoseok tastes good. He feels good in Namjoon’s mouth. The hardness, the fullness, how fucking wet he gets, Namjoon loves that. He loves him.

Namjoon doesn’t stay there for long though. He lets go of Hoseok’s cock and climbs back up Hoseok’s body, kissing his stomach, chest, collarbones, neck and finally, his lips.

“I want you on your hands and knees,” Namjoon whispers, searching Hoseok’s eyes. “Can you do that for me?”

Hoseok nods, and Namjoon climbs off Hoseok and off the bed.

As Hoseok settles on his hands and knees, Namjoon takes his bottle of lube out of the bedside table. He skips the condom, doesn’t plan on using it. He’s just going to finger Hoseok, make him come like that. Namjoon doesn’t care about coming right now. All he wants is to make Hoseok feel good. No need for the pain that comes with taking Namjoon’s cock.

He drops the bottle of lube at the foot of the bed in front of Hoseok and runs his palm from the small of Hoseok’s back to his shoulder, walking slowly to face him. He imagines Yoongi next to Hoseok for a moment, then shakes himself.

“Come closer,” Namjoon whispers when he gets to the foot of the bed, and Hoseok crawls towards him.

Namjoon’s fingers thread into Hoseok’s hair, his knees bracing against the mattress.

“You’re so beautiful,” Namjoon breathes, doesn’t even think to stop the words.

The goosebumps that rise on Hoseok’s skin are incredibly gratifying.

Hoseok is looking up at him with wide, expectant eyes, and Namjoon places both palms on Hoseok’s shoulders, running them all the way down to Hoseok’s ass. Namjoon feels how close his groin gets to Hoseok’s face as he bends forward. It reminds him just how much he hates getting hard in jeans, but it doesn’t matter right now. His hands drag back up Hoseok’s body.

“Bend down to your elbows,” Namjoon says, and Hoseok doesn’t hesitate.

Hoseok not only bends down to his elbows, he also presses his nose to Namjoon’s crotch. Namjoon wants to tell him that he doesn’t have to, that this isn’t about Namjoon, that Namjoon is here to make him feel good. But then he realizes that Hoseok isn’t actually doing anything. He’s just resting his cheek and his nose against Namjoon’s groin.

“How do you feel?” Namjoon asks.

“Exposed,” Hoseok whispers.

“Do you wanna change positions?” Namjoon asks, running his hands back up Hoseok’s back.

“No,” Hoseok answers, rubbing his cheek against Namjoon’s cock. “I like it.”

“Yeah?” Namjoon reaches for the lube bottle.

Hoseok nods, and Namjoon can feel the movement against his jeans.

“You’re so pretty like this,” Namjoon says, opening the bottle and pouring a bit of lube onto his fingers.

“I am?” Hoseok whispers.

“Yes, baby,” Namjoon says, meaning every fucking syllable. He places the lube back onto the bed. “I love your body.”

Another shudder from Hoseok, Hoseok’s lips pressing to Namjoon’s cock. Namjoon means his words. He does. Every one of them. They still don’t come close to what he really wants to say though.

Namjoon drags his dry hand up towards Hoseok’s ass, then veers it away, reaching for Hoseok’s cock instead.

“I love this cock,” Namjoon whispers, running the tips of his fingers over Hoseok’s shaft. A light touch. Teasing. When Namjoon’s fingers touch the tip of Hoseok’s cock, he feels wetness. So wet. “Love how wet you get.”

Hoseok whimpers.

“Do you-“ miss making girls wet? Miss being with other people? Stop it and focus. Namjoon shakes himself, bringing his other, lubed, hand to Hoseok’s hole. “Do you feel okay right now?” he rubs his finger around Hoseok’s rim. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok breathes.

Namjoon dips the tip of his finger inside Hoseok, and Hoseok moans quietly, dragging his lips harder against Namjoon’s shaft through his zipper. The material is too rough. He’s going to end up bruising his lips. Namjoon lets go of Hoseok’s cock and uses that free hand to tangle his fingers into Hoseok’s hair, pulling Hoseok away from his jeans. Hoseok glances up at him.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Namjoon says, taking the tip of his finger back out of Hoseok, rubbing little circles around his rim.

“Hurt myself?” Hoseok asks, looking genuinely confused.

“You’re gonna rub your lips raw on my jeans,” Namjoon explains.

“Ah,” Hoseok breathes. “But…“

“What?” Namjoon asks, pressing his finger back into Hoseok, a little deeper this time, listening to Hoseok whimper.

“I wanna…” Hoseok trails off again, laying his cheek onto Namjoon’s crotch.

“Feel?” Namjoon tries. “You wanna feel it?”

Hoseok nods, “Want you to take it out.”

“Okay,” Namjoon whispers, pulling his finger out of Hoseok again, then unzipping his jeans and shoving them down a bit, tugging his cock and balls out.

The second Namjoon’s cock is out, Hoseok presses himself against it. Namjoon ignores the jolt of pleasure that shoots up his body and lets Hoseok rub his lips against the bottom of his shaft.

Hoseok’s eyes are closed, his breathing is already heavy. He drops a kiss onto Namjoon’s length. God, Namjoon loves him. Then, he licks up Namjoon’s cock, from base to tip, and goosebumps rise on Namjoon’s skin.

Namjoon lets Hoseok do as he wants with his cock and picks up the lube again, snapping it open and tipping it upside down over Hoseok’s hole, squeezing and letting it drip. When the cold lube makes contact with Hoseok’s skin, Hoseok gasps, his hips jumping for a second. Namjoon can’t see it, but he imagines the way the lube is sliding down to Hoseok’s balls right now, making him wet everywhere.

After throwing the lube back onto the bed, Namjoon brings his palms back to Hoseok’s ass, spreading it, digging his thumbs between Hoseok’s cheeks, holding him open.

“Look at you,” Namjoon whispers, looking at Hoseok’s shiny hole. “All wet.”

Hoseok whimpers, and suddenly Namjoon feels Hoseok’s lips wrapping around the tip of his cock. Namjoon rubs Hoseok’s hole with his middle and ring fingers for a moment, then slides his middle finger in. All the way.

He expects Hoseok to gasp in reaction, but he doesn’t. Instead, he pushes himself farther onto Namjoon’s cock. Namjoon almost, once again, tells Hoseok that he doesn’t need to be blowing him right now, that he wants this moment to be about Hoseok, not himself, but he decides against it. Hoseok wants to be sucking him right now, otherwise, he wouldn’t be doing it, and Namjoon is not going to stop him from doing what he wants. He’s just going to push the limit of it a little bit.

Beginning to move his middle finger in and out of Hoseok, Namjoon tangles his other hand into Hoseok’s hair. He does nothing but run his fingers over Hoseok’s scalp for a moment, but then he flattens his palm and pushes Hoseok’s head down.

He hears Hoseok take in a breath through his nose and keeps pushing him, right until the moment his tip hits the back of Hoseok’s throat. Hoseok pulls up a bit and looks up at Namjoon.

“Good?” Namjoon asks, and Hoseok nods. “Good,” he pushes Hoseok down again.

As Namjoon starts moving Hoseok on his shaft, Namjoon looks up, takes his middle finger almost all the way out of Hoseok and slides his ring finger inside next to it, not stopping until both of them are all the way in.

Hoseok lets out a strangled noise, and Namjoon registers it but keeps pushing Hoseok’s head down anyway, the tip of his cock coming up against the back of Hoseok’s throat again. This time though, Namjoon keeps pressing onto Hoseok’s scalp, forcing him to open up his throat and take Namjoon in farther. He holds Hoseok there for only a second, then lets him come back up again.

Hoseok gasps and looks up at Namjoon. Now, he’s unfocused.

“That’s it, baby, doing so good,” Namjoon whispers, fingering Hoseok slightly harder. “Do you think you can hold down there a little longer?”

Hoseok nods frantically, ducking down and wrapping his lips around Namjoon again, and Namjoon pushes him, slipping his tip into Hoseok’s throat one more time and holding Hoseok in place. Hoseok’s breathing through his nose calmly, but then his throat convulses around Namjoon, and he’s choking.

“Deep breath,” Namjoon instructs, and Hoseok does, his throat spasming, back muscles twitching, and then Namjoon pulls him back up, and Hoseok is gasping, spit dripping down his chin, eyes watering. “Good boy,” Namjoon says, and Hoseok gasps again, swallowing hard and bending back down, taking Namjoon into his mouth. “Fuck.”

He pushes Hoseok’s head down again, breaches his throat again, chokes him again. Fingering Hoseok becomes a second priority, so he stops, the first priority being making sure that he doesn’t actually choke Hoseok for too long, push Hoseok too much. He feels and hears Hoseok splutter, and he’s about to pull Hoseok up when Hoseok grabs his leg and holds himself down for a few more seconds.

“Oh, my god, baby,” Namjoon exclaims as Hoseok pulls back off him, tears on his cheeks, chin even wetter than before.

Namjoon takes his fingers out of Hoseok and drops to his knees in front of him, grabbing the back of Hoseok’s neck and pulling him into a kiss. Hoseok gasps into his mouth, still not recovered from having choked for so long, but he kisses Namjoon back anyway, tongue against tongue, hard, frantic, fucking wet, the spit on Hoseok’s chin smearing onto Namjoon’s chin as well.  

“You’re amazing,” Namjoon says. “I love-“ you, “-that. Love your mouth, feels so good.”

“Again,” Hoseok chokes out, hoarse.

“You sure?” Namjoon asks, cupping Hoseok’s cheeks.

Hoseok nods, so Namjoon stands up. The moment Hoseok gets his mouth back on Namjoon’s cock, Namjoon takes hold of his hair in both hands and starts moving him down.

“I want you to take it deeper this time,” Namjoon says. “Not for that long. But deeper,” Hoseok nods. “Take a deep breath for me.”

Namjoon waits for Hoseok to inhale through his nose then pushes him down. Hoseok’s throat spasms around Namjoon hard once the moment Namjoon’s cock goes past his gag reflex, so Namjoon stops, but then Hoseok takes another breath, grabs Namjoon’s leg and keeps going. Namjoon’s almost all the way in this time, deeper than Hoseok has ever managed to take him, and it’s- fuck, Namjoon could come like this, he really, really could. 

He pulls Hoseok back up, and Hoseok gasps once, starts clearing his throat and coughing, looking up.

“Keep breathing steadily,” Namjoon instructs, and Hoseok sniffles but does as Namjoon says. “You’re doing amazing. Can take it almost as deep as Yoongi now.”

Hoseok smiles, clears his throat again.

“Fuck, you look so good,” Namjoon says because Hoseok really does. Debauched. Cheeks wet, chin wet, nose pink, eyelids drooping, out of it. Completely out of it. “One more time, okay? You wanna try taking all of it?”

“Please,” Hoseok chokes out, eyes closing momentarily.

Namjoon runs his hand over Hoseok’s scalp gently, and Hoseok nuzzles into the touch.

“My baby’s so good for me,” Namjoon breathes out and forces Hoseok’s head down one last time.

Hoseok goes down and down and down, his throat fluttering around Namjoon’s shaft, trying to breathe in spite of the sniffles, choking hard once, back muscles spasming, fingernails digging into Namjoon’s leg, taking another deep breath and going down more, until his nose is buried in Namjoon’s groin. All the way in for the first time.

“Oh, shit, that’s it, hold for one second,” Namjoon says, and Hoseok holds. Fuck, Yoongi would be so proud of him.

When Namjoon brings Hoseok back up, Hoseok’s mouth hangs open, and he’s not even coughing this time, just gulping in air. There’s spit everywhere, Hoseok’s eyes are partly rolled back, he’s swallowing and gasping, sniffling and tearing up.

Namjoon takes hold of Hoseok’s shoulders and pulls him up into a kneeling position.

“You did such an amazing job,” Namjoon whispers, and Hoseok sways, so Namjoon brings Hoseok closer, leaning Hoseok’s chest against his own.

He wipes the spit off Hoseok’s chin and turns Hoseok’s body slightly off to the side, wrapping his arm across Hoseok’s chest, holding Hoseok’s bicep.

“Hold onto my arm,” Namjoon says, and Hoseok grabs Namjoon’s forearm, leaning into Namjoon’s hold.

When Namjoon gets two fingers back into Hoseok’s hole, Hoseok cries out, and his voice is so fucking hoarse, fuck. Namjoon sets a quick pace, in and out, staying away from Hoseok’s prostate.

“I want you to come now, okay?” Namjoon asks, but Hoseok’s doesn’t respond. “Can you be good for me one last time and come, baby?”

“Yes,” Hoseok chokes out, and Namjoon angles for Hoseok’s prostate.

Hoseok gasps, digs his fingers into Namjoon’s forearm, moans loudly and sniffles. His cock is so hard, upright against his stomach, the tip dark pink, leaking precome onto himself. He’s clenched tight around Namjoon’s fingers, eyes closed.

“Namjoon,” Hoseok’s voice breaks. “Harder please.”

So Namjoon fingers him harder, deeper, right up against his prostate, and Hoseok does not stop whimpering.

“That’s it,” Namjoon whispers, pressing his forehead to Hoseok’s temple. “My baby’s gonna come untouched, right? My baby’s gonna be so good for me.”

Hoseok nods frantically, and Namjoon watches Hoseok’s cock, fingering Hoseok fast and hard until Hoseok is coming, dribbling come onto his own shaft. Namjoon doesn’t stop fingering Hoseok though, keeps pushing Hoseok’s body until Hoseok’s cock is going soft, his voice is breaking, and he’s squirming away from Namjoon’s fingers.

“I wanna make you come too,” Hoseok rushes to say right when Namjoon opens his mouth. “Please, I want you to come too. Please.”

Hoseok’s shifting around. It looks like he’s trying to hold himself steady, but he ends up falling chest-first onto Namjoon’s own chest, his face burying into Namjoon’s neck.

“Please,” Hoseok whispers, and Namjoon cannot say no to him.

So Namjoon grabs both of Hoseok’s wrists and brings Hoseok’s limp hands to his cock. Hoseok wraps his fingers around Namjoon’s shaft, and his grip is so weak, it’s like it’s barely even there. That’s okay though. Namjoon wraps his own hand around one of Hoseok’s and tightens Hoseok’s hold, then starts thrusting into Hoseok’s fists.

“I miss Yoongi,” Hoseok says all of the sudden, voice hoarse and quiet, right into Namjoon’s ear, and the image of Yoongi invades Namjoon’s head. He thrusts faster, chasing after the orgasm, wanting to finish quickly. “I miss him so much, Namjoon. I’m sorry for saying that right now-“

“I do too, baby,” Namjoon cuts Hoseok off. He shouldn’t be sorry. There’s nothing to be sorry for. “I miss him too.”

“I want him here,” Hoseok continues. “I want him to fuck me. I want him in my mouth. I wanna be inside him. I wanna kiss him,” Hoseok sniffles. “I wanna kiss him.”

Hoseok pushes himself up off Namjoon’s chest and presses his lips to Namjoon’s. Salty, wet, messy, so good. God, Namjoon misses Yoongi too. Yoongi should be here. He should be here to watch Hoseok be so good. He would have been so fucking proud of Hoseok, just like Namjoon is.

“I wanna kiss him too,” Namjoon whispers into Hoseok’s lips, kisses Hoseok deep, thrusts hard a few more times and comes. His knees almost buckle, but he catches himself, knowing that if he falls, Hoseok will go down with him. He leans his forehead against Hoseok’s and keeps his eyes closed, little tremors making his whole body twitch every other second.

When Namjoon opens his eyes, he finds that Hoseok’s eyes are closed. Hoseok’s breathing is finally calming, and the tears have stopped flowing, but his cheeks are still wet, and so is his chin. Namjoon loves him. Fuck. He loves him so much.

“Baby,” Namjoon whispers, and Hoseok’s eyes open slowly. “Are you okay?”

Hoseok swallows harshly then nods, and Namjoon feels like he should just tell him, make it real, but he can’t. Not now. Not yet. He presses his lips to Hoseok’s forehead, takes Hoseok’s hands away from his cock and wraps his arms around Hoseok.

“Thank you,” Namjoon whispers.

Hoseok’s eyes find his, confused, and Namjoon offers him a little smile.

“I’m gonna lay you down,” Namjoon says, “clean you up, bring you some water, and then we’ll cuddle, okay?”

Hoseok nods.

“Do you think you can walk?” Namjoon asks, and Hoseok nods again.

Namjoon helps Hoseok step off the bed and holds Hoseok tightly as they walk from the foot of the bed to the side of it. He only lets go of Hoseok for a moment to pull the covers back, then kisses Hoseok’s cheek and helps him get onto the bed, Hoseok’s back against the headboard. When Namjoon kneels on the bed to kiss Hoseok on the lips, he finds that he doesn’t really want to leave Hoseok. He knows he needs to, that he has to take care of Hoseok, to comfort Hoseok, but something in Namjoon is screaming for closeness. He kind of wants to be comforted too.

But with one last kiss to Hoseok’s lips, Namjoon does as he told Hoseok. He walks to the bathroom and cleans off his own cock, stepping out of his jeans and taking off his shirt before wetting a towel for Hoseok. Then, he takes a water bottle from the mini fridge and goes back to Hoseok.

“Seok,” Namjoon whispers, and Hoseok’s eyes flutter open.

Namjoon places the wet towel on the bedside table and opens the water bottle, gently cupping Hoseok’s cheek, tilting Hoseok’s head back. Hoseok opens his mouth and Namjoon places the water bottle at Hoseok’s lips, helping him drink. A few little sips, and Namjoon takes the bottle away, then begins cleaning Hoseok.

When he’s done, he climbs into bed with Hoseok, covers them both with the blanket, takes Hoseok into his arms, kisses Hoseok’s head and tries to comfort Hoseok.

“I’m sorry for talking about Yoongi at the end,” Hoseok whispers some time later, his voice is so hoarse, and Namjoon’s eyebrows furrow. “I know it was supposed to be… just us, but…”

“You have nothing to be sorry for though,” Namjoon tells him. “I told you I missed him too. I meant it.”

Hoseok looks up at him, soft and tired, and smiles. Though he only smiles for a second.

“I do have something to be sorry for,” Hoseok says then looks down. “I shouldn’t have kissed her.”

“Seok…” Namjoon breathes.

“No,” Hoseok insists. “I shouldn’t have.”

“I’m not-“ Namjoon hesitates. “I’m not mad or…” he has no right to be mad.

“I am,” Hoseok looks up again.

Namjoon’s not sure what to say to that, so he doesn’t say anything, waiting. Maybe Hoseok will elaborate. But Hoseok doesn’t. Namjoon wants to press, feels like it’s important to find out why Hoseok is that mad at himself for kissing someone else. But Hoseok looks so tired, so small, and Namjoon should be comforting him, not pressuring him. Now’s not the time.

So, he just holds Hoseok a bit tighter, kisses his head again, trying to convey that he really isn’t mad, that it’s okay, that everything’s fine, that kissing her was fine too. Hoseok didn’t know doing it would hurt Namjoon. Namjoon didn’t know doing it would hurt Namjoon. It’s not fair to be mad, so Namjoon isn’t. And it’s not fair to be hurt, but… Namjoon might be. A little.

About half an hour passes until there’s a knock on the door. Neither Hoseok nor Namjoon is sleeping. Namjoon was waiting for Yoongi, and he thinks Hoseok was doing the same. They didn’t talk any more during that time, just sat there, with Namjoon running his fingers through Hoseok’s hair, being comforted by each other. Namjoon kisses Hoseok’s forehead, and Hoseok watches as Namjoon stands up and walks to the door.

“Hey,” Yoongi says when Namjoon lets him in. He glances towards the bed where Hoseok has sat up a little straighter, watching them.

“Hi,” Namjoon tells Yoongi, cups Yoongi’s cheek, and kisses Yoongi’s lips. Yoongi smiles shyly and takes off his jacket.

When Yoongi walks to the bed, he does it slowly, something like uncertainty in his steps. Namjoon follows.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asks, and Hoseok nods, then suddenly, Hoseok’s breath starts getting heavier.

Yoongi seems surprised, scrambling to shove his shoes and jeans off himself.

“Hey,” Yoongi whispers, concerned, climbing onto the bed next to Hoseok. “Baby.”

Then Hoseok pulls Yoongi down onto his back on the bed and throws himself onto Yoongi, naked, knees on either side of Yoongi’s thighs, arms wrapped around Yoongi, face hidden in the crook of Yoongi’s neck, trapping Yoongi underneath him, still breathing hard.

Yoongi looks off to where Namjoon is still standing, surprise and confusion on his face, and Namjoon doesn’t know- he doesn’t know why Hoseok is doing what he’s doing. He seemed fine before.

“Baby,” Yoongi whispers again. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Hoseok says. “I just missed you.”

Yoongi inhales shakily, the corners of his lips pulling down, “I missed you too.”

He looks at Namjoon again, and Namjoon doesn’t know what to tell him. So he climbs back into the bed and covers all of them. He places his palm on Hoseok’s back and rubs circles there, worried.

“Why does your voice sound like that?” Yoongi asks Hoseok.

“I sucked Namjoon’s dick,” Hoseok says, and Yoongi smiles. “I was good for him,” he adds quietly, and Yoongi’s smile falls, eyes widening a bit.  

“You were,” Namjoon reassures. This is really unlike Hoseok. It’s like he’s still… lost, still small, still looking for praise. “You were so good.”

Hoseok nods into the crook of Yoongi’s neck.

“I missed you, hyung,” Hoseok whispers again. 

“It’s okay,” Yoongi comforts. “I’m here now.”

It looks like Yoongi has more to say. He keeps glancing at Namjoon, his lips opening and closing, but he doesn’t say anything. His arms wriggle out from beneath Hoseok and wrap around Hoseok’s torso. He kisses Hoseok’s neck and lets Hoseok lie there, right on top of him, until Hoseok is calm again.

“Are you going to fall asleep, Seok?” Yoongi asks, and Hoseok shakes his head.

He is going to fall asleep though, Namjoon can see it too.

“Come on, baby,” Yoongi says softly. “Lay your head on the pillow. In the middle. So we can both cuddle you.”

Hoseok finally lifts his head.

“I’m sorry for kissing her,” Hoseok says, and Yoongi looks at him with confused eyes, his eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” Yoongi asks. “Hoseok-“

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok repeats.

“You don’t need to apologize for that,” Yoongi says. “There’s nothing to forgive.”

Hoseok huffs out in what looks like frustration.

Does Hoseok want them to be mad? Namjoon doesn’t understand. Why would he want that?

“It’s okay,” Yoongi says, cupping Hoseok’s cheek. “Everything’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Hoseok’s eyebrows furrow deeply, but he nods anyway, climbing off Yoongi and settling onto the bed between Yoongi and Namjoon, on his side with his head on Yoongi’s chest and Namjoon’s arm wrapped around him.

Yoongi and Namjoon look at each other above Hoseok’s head, and Namjoon can still see the questions on Yoongi’s face, so he holds off on sleeping, deciding to wait until Hoseok falls asleep so that he could try answering Yoongi’s questions. That, or if Yoongi falls asleep too, Namjoon will just have to talk to him in the morning.

He doesn’t end up having to wait until morning. It’s no more than five minutes until Hoseok’s breathing evens out, his body going completely lax. Namjoon assumes Hoseok fell asleep, but he whispers Hoseok’s name anyway, making sure. When there’s no response, Yoongi perks up.

“What happened?” Yoongi whispers.

“I don’t know,” Namjoon shakes his head. “I didn’t think anything happened. I didn’t think- I don’t think I pushed him too much. I was making sure he was okay every step of the way.”

Yoongi nods, “I know you didn’t hurt him, that’s not what I’m asking. You’re extremely careful and caring during sex, I know that too. He was distressed though. Really distressed.”

“He wasn’t distressed right before you got here,” Namjoon says. “He was fine. Calm. Spacing out a little after the sex, a little more than usual, but still… I mean, the only… signs of distress I can think of is him apologizing about kissing that girl in the club.”

“After I got here?” Yoongi asks.

“No, he apologized to me before you came too. It’s bothering him a lot,” Namjoon says. Yoongi nods but doesn’t say anything. So, Namjoon keeps going. “He really did miss you though. That might have been the reason. Or at least part of it. Right after he came, he was jerking me off, and suddenly he was saying that he misses you, that he wants you to be with us, named all the things he wanted to do to you, or for you to do to him,” Namjoon pauses. “He really missed you.”

“Did you?” Yoongi asks softly.

“Did I what?” Namjoon asks.

“Miss me,” Yoongi clarifies, not looking at Namjoon.

“So much,” Namjoon whispers, honest. Too honest. And Yoongi catches his gaze so quickly and so intensely, it’s Namjoon’s turn to look away.  

“I missed you too,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon looks back, sees the small, shy smile on Yoongi’s face, the softness in Yoongi’s eyes. It’s real. It has to be real. Namjoon is not imagining it, is he? He’s not the only one feeling it. Can’t be.

“You had fun with Jeongguk though, right?” Namjoon changes the subject. “It was worth it, yeah?”

Yoongi’s smile widens a bit, “I did, and it was. A little bonding time. He’s…”

“What?” Namjoon prompts.

“Observant,” Yoongi says. “A lot smarter than I give him credit for.”

“Yeah, he keeps surprising me too lately,” Namjoon agrees. “Keeps saying these really…”

“Wise?” Yoongi offers.

“Yeah,” Namjoon says. “These really wise things.”

Yoongi nods, “I think I still see him as a little kid sometimes. But then he says these wise things, and it’s like- sometimes… He really… He really understands people, you know? Good at reading people. I sometimes think he knows me better than I know myself. I mean, I think that about all of you sometimes, but lately…”

He trails off after that, and, in a way, Namjoon understands what he means. They all know each other so well, can tell when something is wrong, when something is needed. But this- what Yoongi is saying, it feels different somehow. More significant. Like he’s talking about something specific. And Namjoon wants to know what.

And then it hits him. He should talk to Jeongguk. Jeongguk might know something that he doesn’t. The club. Convincing Yoongi to go. His day with Yoongi today. Namjoon should ask-

Yoongi laughs at himself and shakes his head, startling Namjoon out of his line of thought.

“What did you actually do with him?” Yoongi asks, looking at Hoseok. “You said he was more spaced out than usual?”

“Yeah, I,” Namjoon starts. “He deepthroated me. Took it all the way down.”

“Really?” Yoongi’s eyebrows rise, smile spreading on his lips.

“Yeah,” Namjoon smiles too. “It was a lot of work. A lot of… spit and tears and a little coughing, but yeah.”

“Oh,” Yoongi breathes, smiling fondly, dropping a kiss onto Hoseok’s head. “Good boy,” he smiles wider, eyes almost seeming to sparkle. He looks in love.

“Yeah,” Namjoon laughs quietly. “I kept thinking about how you would have been proud of him if you’d have seen it.”

“I am proud of him,” Yoongi catches Namjoon’s gaze. “He’ll show me some other time.”

Namjoon nods, smiling. He wonders if he looks as in love as he feels. He wonders if Yoongi can tell. Namjoon averts his gaze and turns to the bedside table slowly, trying not to wake Hoseok, reaching for the bedside lamp and turning the light off. Darkness surrounds them, Hoseok shuffles around for a moment, and Namjoon kisses Hoseok’s head.

“Just us now,” Yoongi whispers when all is motionless again. “One pairing left.”

Namjoon doesn’t respond, wonders how different it’ll be with Yoongi. Wonders when it’ll happen. How. He almost doesn’t want it to happen. Doesn’t want to leave Hoseok out. His baby. His good, beautiful baby. How could he leave him out? He leans down to kiss Hoseok’s head again.

“We should talk,” Namjoon whispers, heart rate picking up.

“Yeah,” Yoongi says.

Namjoon inhales and exhales shakily, letting himself drift off to sleep. They’ll talk. Tomorrow. Namjoon will talk to Jeongguk then go to them. No matter what. No matter what Jeongguk says, no matter how scared Namjoon is, they’ll talk. He’ll tell them. He has to.

 

This day is also mostly free. Three interviews a little after noon, then back to the hotels to do whatever they want. After being haunted the entire night by his upcoming conversations with both Jeongguk and Yoongi and Hoseok, waking up every few hours with his heart pounding in his chest, Namjoon decides that he needs to get it over with quickly. Rip the band-aid off. At least of the first part. Which is how he finds himself, at eleven am, after putting on his clothes for the interviews, knocking on Jeongguk’s door.

“Hey,” Jeongguk says when he opens the door, stepping aside, letting Namjoon come in.

“Sorry for bothering,” Namjoon says. “If you’re getting ready for the interviews.”

“That’s fine,” Jeongguk smiles, closing the door behind them. “Noonas gave me the clothes yesterday evening. All I need to do is put them on.”

He waits for Namjoon to say what he came to say, but Namjoon is quiet, forgot everything he had planned.

“Are you okay?” Jeongguk asks, and Namjoon looks up.

“Uh… yeah,” Namjoon replies. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Okay,” Jeongguk says, going to sit down at the foot of his bed. Namjoon stays standing, fidgeting.

“I- uh…” Namjoon tries. “It’s about Yoongi,” he pauses. “Well, Yoongi and Hoseok. But right now, about Yoongi.”

“Okay,” Jeongguk repeats. His eyes are squinted, and Namjoon feels a bit scrutinized.

“Umm…” Namjoon scratches the back of his neck. “You don’t have to tell me, I guess. But I’m going to ask,” and before Jeongguk can say ‘okay’ again, Namjoon continues. “Back in Mexico, the last night, when you had that headache and Taehyung stayed with you. And me, Jimin, Hoseok, and Yoongi went clubbing…”

“Yeah?” Jeongguk asks.

“Did you know that… Yoongi didn’t actually want to come with us?” Namjoon asks. “Hoseok and I tried convincing him, but he wouldn’t budge.”

“I knew, yeah,” Jeongguk says. 

“Well,” Namjoon continues. “When the three of them came to get me in my room before we left, Yoongi said that the reason he changed his mind- the reason he decided to go… was you.”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows rise, “Really?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon frowns. “You didn’t know?”

“I mean, I talked to him a little while before you guys went out,” Jeongguk shrugs. “But I didn’t know he decided to go with you until later that night when Tae told me.”

“Huh,” Namjoon exhales, starting to slightly lose hope. Maybe Jeongguk doesn’t actually know anything. Namjoon wraps his arms around himself. “Do you… Can you tell me what you talked about that day? Do you think you might have said something that would have convinced him to go?”

Jeongguk looks up, thinking, “Not really. I think… if anything, what I was saying would have made him not wanna go.”

“What did you tell him?” Namjoon whispers, pressing.

“I…” Jeongguk starts then stops. “When I asked him if he’s going, and he said no, I told him I understood. That if I were him, I wouldn’t go either.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows furrow. He doesn’t understand.

“He made that face,” Jeongguk points at Namjoon. “Like he didn’t understand why I would say that.”

“Why would you?” Namjoon asks.

“Umm… I mean,” Jeongguk bites his lower lip. Why is he uncomfortable? “I know what you guys go to clubs for, you know? Like, sometimes- I know that sometimes Jimin and Hoseok go to clubs just for dancing, but you and Yoongi hyung… you’re not like them, you don’t really like clubs that much, right?”

“I-“ Namjoon tries to follow what Jeongguk is saying. “I guess.”

“You don’t go there for the dancing, right?” Jeongguk asks. “You go there to get laid. To try to get laid. So… when Jimin told me he was going clubbing with Hoseok hyung, and you were going with them… I sort of figured…” he trails off again, taking a deep breath, seems to be collecting his thoughts. “If your relationship with Hoseok hyung and Yoongi hyung really is… causal- not romantic, then you’re probably going to the club to get laid.”

Namjoon blinks. If. He said if their relationship is not romantic.

“So, when Yoongi hyung told me that he wasn’t going,” Jeongguk continues. “I- I was like-“ Jeongguk pauses, catches Namjoon’s gaze, bites his lower lip again. “Never mind, I- it’s none of my business.”

Namjoon’s heart rate picks up, “Wait, why- why would Yoongi not wanna go?”

Because Yoongi thought Hoseok and Namjoon would be getting laid with someone else? Because that bothered him? But he went anyway. He went. Namjoon doesn’t understand. 

“I don’t- I don’t know if…” Jeongguk stops again. “I really shouldn’t.”

Namjoon walks and sits next to Jeongguk, lowers his voice to a whisper, desperate, “Do you know something?”

Jeongguk looks away.

“I don’t know anything,” Jeongguk whispers, turns to catch Namjoon’s gaze again, and his eyes are soft, almost apologetic. Namjoon needs to lay off him, stop pressuring him. None of this is for him to worry about. “He didn’t actually tell me anything. I’m only guessing. And I’m probably wrong. And I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t force my own… on you.”

Namjoon sighs, clasps his hands together on his knees and takes a deep breath. He shouldn’t pressure Jeongguk.

“Yoongi told me yesterday,” Namjoon tries to speak calmly. No pressure. Maybe a little pressure. “He told me that you read him really well. Told me you’re observant,” Namjoon turns to Jeongguk again. “You shouldn’t force your… imagination or your hopes or your fantasies on us, but… you might not be imagining it.”

“Just because I read him well, doesn’t mean I’m right about this,” Jeongguk says, and Namjoon sighs again. “I’m good at reading you too, I think. You’re easier to read than Yoongi.”

Namjoon catches Jeongguk’s gaze.

Jeongguk opens his mouth, closes it, hesitates, opens it again, “It’s not just casual, right?”

Lump in Namjoon’s throat, shivers up Namjoon’s spine. To be confronted about it so blatantly. He looks away. Can’t say it. Can’t even nod.  

“Why did you go to the club?” Jeongguk asks, laying a hand on Namjoon’s back. “You weren’t trying to get laid, right?”

Why did he go to the club? He thinks back. He definitely wasn’t trying to get laid. He- why did he go? He wanted to… wanted a change of atmosphere, right? That’s why he went. And he wanted to make sure Jimin and Hoseok wouldn’t get too drunk the day before flying, so they wouldn’t be hungover and throw up or something during the flight. That’s why he went. Is that why he went? Namjoon runs his hands through his own hair.

“I’m not sure,” he answers. His voice is shaking. He gulps. It’s fucking cold in Jeongguk’s room. He shivers.

Jeongguk pulls him into a hug, and Namjoon looks behind Jeongguk, finds a blank spot on the wall and focuses on it.

“Do you love him?” Jeongguk whispers, and Namjoon can’t say it. The lump in his throat is so big. He can’t say it. “You don’t have to say it,” Jeongguk continues. “Just nod,” so Namjoon nods.

Namjoon gasps, catching up with what he just did, “But not just Yoongi- not just- not just Yoongi.”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk breathes then sniffles. No, no, no, Jeongguk can’t be crying. Not allowed to. No.

Namjoon wants to pull back and comfort Jeongguk, but he can’t. He can’t. He’s frozen. Can’t move. He’s still shivering, he realizes, and Jeongguk starts rubbing circles into his back.

“I think the reason Yoongi went to the club was because he didn’t want to see you and Hoseok with someone else,” Jeongguk says, his voice calm.

“I don’t understand,” Namjoon says, still looking at the wall. “Why would he go if he didn’t want to see it?”

“That’s why I thought he wouldn’t go,” Jeongguk explains. “When I told him that I understand his decision not to go, that I wouldn’t go either if I was him, I might have… implied that I wouldn’t want to see my two best friends who I’m sleeping with… casually,” he emphasizes the word, “finding someone else in that club. And I remember, when I said that, he looked so… scared. Like I caught him doing something he’s not supposed to do. Or like… like I told him something new, something that he didn’t think of, and he was surprised by it. And I- I called his name ‘cus he kinda spaced out, and I asked if he was okay, and then he sort of… snapped back and said yes and asked if needed anything else. I said no, waited a couple seconds, thought maybe he’d say something else, but he didn’t, so I left his room.”

“So why did he go with us?” Namjoon asks, wrapping his arms around Jeongguk.

“I don’t actually know,” Jeongguk says. “I think he went because he wanted to see it for himself. To see whether it would happen. If either of you would… take someone else with you, flirt with someone else, kiss someone else, take someone else to the bathroom, I don’t know how it works exactly. But I think that’s why he went… because he wanted to see it. Like a test. And if I’m right, and I might not be, if he feels what you feel, then maybe… maybe he just went to torture himself. Maybe he wanted to see you with someone else. Confirm that for you nothing’s changed, that he’s the only one who has feelings,” he pauses. “I think that’s why you went too.”

And suddenly a picture of Yoongi flashes before Namjoon’s eyes, leaning against the bar, throwing back his drink as Hoseok was kissing that girl. Namjoon remembers Yoongi watching Hoseok. Namjoon remembers himself being angry. He remembers Yoongi not being angry. Maybe Yoongi was sad. Maybe Jeongguk’s right. Maybe Hoseok failed Yoongi’s test. Maybe Namjoon was sad too then, not just angry. Maybe it is why he went. Maybe he wanted to see it for himself too.

“So you think he-“ Namjoon swallows. “You think Yoongi feels it back?”

Jeongguk pulls away from the hug, his nose is pink, eyes too wet. He holds Namjoon’s biceps and gives Namjoon a little sad smile.

“I can’t tell you for sure,” Jeongguk whispers. “I don’t wanna… give you false hope if I’m wrong. You should know better than me. You’re with him a lot more than I am, a lot… differently than I am.”

Namjoon nods. He thinks he does know. He thinks Yoongi does feel it back. But it’s optimism. Wishful thinking. Not logic. 

It’s quiet for a moment.

“I fucked up, didn’t I?” Namjoon whispers.

“What do you mean?” Jeongguk searches Namjoon’s eyes, but Namjoon looks away.

“I wasn’t supposed to-“ can’t say it, “-feel it. He isn’t supposed to feel it.”

“You can’t control what you feel,” Jeongguk says, and Namjoon nods again. “You should tell them though. You shouldn’t keep all of this inside.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Namjoon says, nodding, collecting himself. “I’ll tell them. Today. For the better or worse, I have to tell them. I can’t keep it in anymore. It hurts. It feels like I’m fucking lying to them.”

Jeongguk nods, “You’ll tell both of them?”

“What?” Namjoon catches Jeongguk’s gaze. “Of course I will, I can’t- I can’t just-“

Jeongguk nods again, so Namjoon stops talking. And then-

“Do you think Hoseok-“ Namjoon cuts himself off. “Do you think he also… feels it? Do you-“

“I don’t know,” Jeongguk says gently, dropping his hands from Namjoon’s biceps into his own lap. “He’s… kind of a closed book. At least about this.”

“What do you mean?” Namjoon asks.

“I mean…” Jeongguk starts. “I tried talking to him about it once. Asking him about your relationship. I wanted to know the part of… like, what it’s like to be in a relationship like this – fuck buddies – with people you’re so close to. How that’s even possible emotionally, to disconnect from the fact that you’re friends and just be physical with each other like that. And I thought he would tell me because he always talks openly about sex stuff, but… he didn’t really say much,” Jeongguk shrugs. “Or actually, he said plenty about the physical part, but nothing really about the emotional part. And I was,” he looks away, shy, “too busy blushing at the things he was saying to really notice he wasn’t actually answering my question.”

“Okay,” Namjoon says.

“Sorry,” Jeongguk offers a smile. “I wish I could say more.”

“You’ve said plenty,” Namjoon smiles, leans in and hugs Jeongguk again. “Thank you.”

“Always,” Jeongguk hugs back.

This- this is comforting. Jeongguk is comforting.

“Can I ask you one last thing?” Namjoon pulls away from him. Jeongguk nods. “How long did you know? About my… feelings? And maybe possibly about Yoongi’s?”

Jeongguk shrugs again, “Since the beginning. The day you told us.”

“Really?” Namjoon asks. Namjoon didn’t even know then.

“I didn’t really know,” Jeongguk corrects. “Not until right now that you told me. But… you… the three of you…” he pauses. “When I thought about the concept of fuck buddies, I never imagined you. You were like a bad example of what I thought fuck buddies were supposed to be.”

“A bad example how?” Namjoon asks.

“It’s like you never really made an effort to be fuck buddies,” Jeongguk explains. “You were friends first, and the sex didn’t seem to change that. It only seemed to enhance it.”

“I don’t…” Namjoon doesn’t understand.

“When I imagine fuck buddies- proper fuck buddies,” Jeongguk explains again. “I think of people who completely disconnect the sex from their friendship, don’t let the sex influence their friendship. The sex is the sex, and the friendship is the friendship. No mixing. You let it mix. At least during the period after you told us. I don’t know how it was in the beginning, but the same night that you told us about it, you were cuddling on the couch in our living room. And looking at you with Jimin and Tae felt like we were interrupting something… special. A moment. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you and Yoongi and Hoseok cuddling, but the moment your secret was out, there you were – holding each other on the couch in our living in a way that looked romantic. And it felt like we were intruding so badly, I told Tae and Jimin that we should leave you alone, give you your moment.”

“It looked like we were… romantic?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk huffs out a laugh. “Then Tae and I walked in on you cuddling on your bed, and that also… felt like a moment. And it’s like- we didn’t walk in on you having sex, we walked in on you cuddling. Not like fuck buddies. Like a couple. Throuple.”

Namjoon can’t say anything to that. From the moment they told everyone, it looked like they were together romantically. Jeongguk’s right. It must have looked that way. And Namjoon didn’t see it.

“I don’t know if me saying this will make you feel better,” Jeongguk says. “But I think you’d make a good throuple.”

And there’s that lump in Namjoon’s throat again. He smiles through it.

“Yeah, that doesn’t make me feel better,” Namjoon laughs bitterly.

“Sorry,” Jeongguk laughs too.

Quiet.

“You’re going to tell them after the interviews today?” Jeongguk asks after a minute, and Namjoon nods. “I think that’s very brave of you.”

“I don’t feel brave,” Namjoon’s chest tightens. “I feel terrified.”

Jeongguk pulls him into another hug.

Really brave,” Jeongguk whispers, and Namjoon gasps, starts shaking again.

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything about it, simply holding Namjoon tightly, and Namjoon feels comforted, he really does. But instead of calming down, his eyes well up with tears, and his breathing gets even shakier, and then he’s just crying, the tears effortlessly flowing down his cheeks. Jeongguk squeezes Namjoon even tighter, and Namjoon can hear Jeongguk sniffle, and he knows that if Jeongguk’s crying, then it’s his fault, but he can’t stop his own tears for long enough to be able to calm Jeongguk down. He can’t. He can’t, and he doesn’t even know why.

“It’s okay,” Jeongguk whispers, and more tears slide down Namjoon’s cheeks. “It’s okay.”

It’s okay, so Namjoon hugs Jeongguk back and cries a little longer.

 

He leaves Jeongguk eventually, frantically wiping his cheeks and feeling really awkward, but also better. A little better. A little lighter. Jeongguk doesn’t say anything as Namjoon fidgets, collecting himself. He does smile at Namjoon though, and Namjoon forces himself to smile back.

When they all gather at the lobby and start heading for their cars to go to the interviews, Namjoon can’t help but look at Yoongi and Hoseok. Nothing is special. Nothing is different. It’s work time. They have to look collected and ready, so he’s not surprised that that’s exactly what they look like. Namjoon though- Namjoon feels like there’s a string constantly tugging at his heart, reminding him that today is a fateful day - the day everything will change, for the better or worse. Yoongi catches Namjoon’s gaze for a moment before they get into separate cars and smiles, and that string that pulls a little harder. He has to tell them.

The interviews pass in a blur – same questions, practiced answers, letting the others speak a bit more under the pretense that he’s trying to get them involved, but in reality, Namjoon’s head is just in a different place, screaming somewhere in the distance, begging him to get it over with but also to run away and save himself. Eventually, he does calm down. Or at least, he gets distracted enough by the bustle of makeup and hair people, cameras, translators, all the movement and the energy around them, but as soon as it started… it’s over, and he’s in the car again, on the way back to the hotel.

He’s sitting there, Jeongguk and Seokjin next to him and Taehyung in front of him, picking at his fingernails and feeling kind of grateful that he didn’t end up in the same car back as Yoongi and Hoseok. He’s starting to freak out a little. How long is the drive back? Twenty minutes? A little less? And then he’s doing it. It’s only twenty minutes away.

He feels someone touching his hands and looks down, finds that Jeongguk is holding him, stopping his fidgeting. Jeongguk is looking at Namjoon with a concerned expression, and Namjoon feels bad about making Jeongguk worry, so he takes a deep breath and calms himself. Jeongguk’s fingers tangling in his also calm Namjoon down a bit.

“Hey,” Jeongguk taps Namjoon’s shoulder when they’re stepping out of the car. “I’m rooting for you.”

Namjoon takes in a shaky breath, not sure what to say to that.

“Tell me how it went later? Today, tomorrow, whenever. I’m here for you,” Jeongguk adds, and Namjoon just nods. He’ll tell Jeongguk.

A quick glance around tells Namjoon that Yoongi, Hoseok and Jimin’s car hasn’t arrived yet, but it’ll be here in a few minutes. He’s going to use this time. He’ll go up to his room and get a hold of himself, and then he’ll do it. Yeah, okay, that’s what he’ll do.

Into the hotel, up the elevator, down the hall, into his room, into the bathroom, washing his face, peeing, washing his hands, washing his face again, getting water on his clothes, walking out of the bathroom, taking off his shoes, changing clothes, sitting down on the bed, taking a deep breath, freaking out. Fuck. He’s freaking out. Another deep breath.

“Relax, Namjoon,” he whispers. He needs to relax and think.

They should be up in their rooms by now. All he has to do is get up off his ass and go get them. Should he text instead? Ask them to come here? He could text instead. In their threeway chat? No. The threeway chat is for sex, he doesn’t want to have sex. Separately then? But then it’s too personal. It needs to be both of them at once. Fucking chicken. Face to face. That’s the best option. Hoseok’s room is closer. He’ll walk there and get Hoseok. Then they’ll walk together to Yoongi’s room and get Yoongi. Then he’ll take them back here. Or should they stay in Yoongi’s room? Does it matter? Yes. Yes, he should do it in Yoongi’s room. It’ll be easier to leave than ask them to leave if it all goes to shit. Yeah. Okay. That’s how he’s going to do it.

Then what does he say? How does he start? Sit them down on the bed. All sitting. No cuddling. Namjoon will sit in front of them. The distance will be good. Easier to leave if there’s distance. Then he will say that he wants to talk to them, that he has something important to tell them. He’ll apologize. Apologize? For having feelings? Can’t control your feelings. No apologies. Maybe apologies, depending on how badly they’ll react. He’ll tell them first.

They’ll be sitting there, wondering what the fuck is going on, and he’ll just… rip the band-aid off. Just say: ‘Yoongi, I love you,’ and: ‘Hoseok, I love you.’ Or maybe it’s better to say: ‘Yoongi and Hoseok, I love you.’ No, that’s worse. That’s… cringy. He doesn’t want to be cringy. Maybe no names. Just say it into the air, looking at both of them. ‘I love you.’ And that’s it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that’s fine. But no, maybe it’ll confuse them. Maybe they’ll think he’s only talking to one of them, and they won’t be sure who exactly, and then Namjoon will have to say it again. So, no, back to the first option. The first option is the least horrible.

And then maybe they’ll say: ‘I love you back,’ or ‘I love you too.’ Those are both good options. Namjoon will be happy with either of those options. Realistically, they’ll probably be surprised. Shocked even. They’ll ask: ‘really?’ and he’ll nod. And he’ll remain calm and let them think about it.

What’s the worst that could happen? They don’t feel it back. It ruins their sex arrangement. It ruins their friendship. It creates horrible tension in the group. Disbandment. Never talking to either of them ever again. Fucking up not just for himself, but for all seven of them. Stop that. He has to stop being so fucking negative. It can’t get that bad, right? They would never let it ruin the group. Never. They’ll put the group first. And they said- in the very, very beginning, they said they wouldn’t let this ruin their friendship. Feelings weren’t really included in that rule, but- it still applies, right? Hopefully.

If they don’t feel it back, what he’ll do is he’ll nod and tell them it’s okay. He’ll tell them, or they’ll ask, to stop having sex with each other. He’ll tell them he hopes it won’t ruin their friendship. He’ll say he’s sorry. Yes, he will. He’ll apologize. He’ll say he hopes they’ll forgive him, and that, over time, he hopes their friendship will go back to the way it was. And then he’ll leave Yoongi’s room and probably cry a lot. Yeah.

But what if one of them feels it back and the other one doesn’t? What the fuck does he do then? Be happy that he got one of them? Be sad that he didn’t get the other? Ask Hoseok to leave so he can be alone with Yoongi? But what if everything’s the other way around, and Hoseok is actually the one who feels it back? Do they then leave Yoongi alone? Do they hug Yoongi instead of leaving, even though they’ll both be heartbroken? Do they start having sex without Yoongi? Do they keep having sex with Yoongi? Should he talk to them one by one after all? What if Yoongi or Hoseok only love Namjoon? What if they only love each other? Freaking out. He’s freaking out again.

Namjoon stands up and walks to the mini fridge, picks up a water bottle and sits back down on the bed. A sip of water. No, he still has to tell both of them at the same time. Another sip of water. If that’ll happen- if one of them feels it back and the other one doesn’t, then Namjoon will no longer be alone in all of this. He and the other one with feelings will have to make that decision together. Namjoon has to be reasonable. He can’t think of every single scenario on his own. Together, they’ll decide what to do. And if Yoongi and Hoseok only love each other… Namjoon will learn to be happy for them. Eventually. Their happiness comes first.

He takes another sip of water, then twists the cap back onto the bottle, stands up and places the bottle back into the fridge. He jumps up and down a few times, shaking himself off.

“Come on, Namjoon,” he says. There’s no way to avoid the consequences. He just has to do it and deal with whatever happens. He picks up his keycard, puts on his slippers and walks to the door. “Come on.”

He raises his hand to the handle, and suddenly there’s a knock on the door, and Namjoon gets so fucking startled he literally jumps back.

“Fuck,” he exclaims, stepping up to the door and looking through the peephole. It’s Yoongi. Shit.

Namjoon opens the door.

“Hey,” Yoongi says. Not according to plan. This is not according to plan. Yoongi looks down, and his eyebrows furrow. “Were you going somewhere?”

Namjoon looks down too. The keycard. He’s holding it.

“Ah, yeah. To you, actually,” Namjoon says. It’s okay. They’ll just go together to Hoseok, and Namjoon will tell them there. The plan is still fine.

Yoongi laughs, “Coincidence. Guess I beat you to it.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon laughs. God, that sounded awkward.

“Are you gonna let me in?” Yoongi laughs again.

Namjoon blanks. No, they need to get Hoseok. But he can’t just… not let Yoongi come in.

Stalling. Excuses. He’s looking for excuses. He knows he is.

“Yeah,” Namjoon shakes his head and steps aside.

Yoongi closes the door behind himself, walks a few steps into the room then turns to Namjoon. He’s changed his clothes too since the interviews. And took off his makeup. Namjoon must have been in his room longer than he’s realized. There’s a strange moment of silence. Namjoon assumes Yoongi wants to talk to him, yet Yoongi isn’t saying anything. And Yoongi knows Namjoon was on his way to him, yet Namjoon isn’t saying anything.

God, the silence is weird.

Then Yoongi laughs breathily, shakes his head and starts walking towards Namjoon. Namjoon doesn’t move, letting Yoongi come closer, and maybe Yoongi senses Namjoon’s anxiousness because all of the sudden, now really close to Namjoon, Yoongi stops. They hold eye contact for a second, and Namjoon does his very best to compose himself. When Yoongi leans up to kiss him, Namjoon still doesn’t move. His lips open against Yoongi’s automatically, and, for a few seconds, they’re just kissing.

But once Namjoon catches up with what they’re doing, renewed waves of nerves pulsing through him, he pulls back. No, he doesn’t pull back, he rips himself away.

“What are you doing?” he asks Yoongi without so much as thinking about it.

Yoongi stills, hands not coming off Namjoon’s neck.

“Kissing you,” Yoongi answers, seems to hesitate for a second, then kisses Namjoon again, hard, and Namjoon, once again, kisses back.

“Wait,” Namjoon pulls away again, breathing a bit more heavily. “Hoseok-“

“He’s not here,” Yoongi says, gripping onto Namjoon’s neck more tightly. Yoongi’s breathing is heavier too. “He- umm, on the ride back, he got a text from that dancer friend that he went out with yesterday, and that friend apparently told him that his schedule cleared up unexpectantly, and he can hang out again. So Hoseok asked the driver to drop him off at some café nearby,” Yoongi stops, leans up again and stops himself right before kissing Namjoon. “He’s with a bodyguard, it’s all fine.”

“He’s-“ Namjoon starts, but Yoongi shuts him up with a kiss.

Yoongi’s hand comes up to cup Namjoon’s crotch, and Namjoon whimpers, pulling away again.

“Does he-“ Namjoon gasps, dodging another kiss from Yoongi. “Does he know you’re here right now?”

Does Hoseok know Yoongi is trying to have sex with Namjoon without him?

Yoongi gulps, “Yeah, I told him during the ride.”

“Jimin was with you though,” Namjoon says. “And the driver.”

“Yeah, I-“ Yoongi shrugs, gulps again, “-I told Seok I’m gonna go to your room, and I made sure he understood what for without being completely explicit about it, and he said it was fine with him.”

“Oh,” Namjoon says, and Yoongi kisses him again, squeezing Namjoon’s cock through his pants.

Namjoon kisses Yoongi back once again. An automatic response. It might just be Namjoon’s own concern, but he thinks Yoongi is acting off, like Yoongi is nervous about something too. His kisses are too frantic, touches too desperate. Too hurried. Too hard. Too… something. He’s rubbing Namjoon’s cock harshly, and under any other circumstances, Namjoon would be getting hard, but he is so fucking far from it right now.

“Wait,” Namjoon pulls himself from Yoongi again, taking half a step back, Yoongi’s hands staying in place.

Yoongi gulps, looks at Namjoon’s face for a moment, breathing hard, then rips his hands away from Namjoon, his eyes widening, mouth dropping open.

“I’m so sorry,” Yoongi takes a step back, looks at his own hands as if he’s shocked by them, then turns his gaze back to Namjoon. “Oh, my god, you don’t want to. I didn’t- I didn’t think- I-“

“Wait, stop, that’s not-” Namjoon takes a step towards Yoongi, but Yoongi just steps further back.

He breathes out harshly, holding his hands rigidly up in the air, looking absolutely horrified.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeats. “Fuck. I’m- I’m gonna… go.”

Yoongi starts walking towards the door, but Namjoon grabs Yoongi’s bicep, stopping him.

“Hyung, stop,” Namjoon says sternly, holding onto Yoongi’s bicep as he walks over to face him. “It’s not that I don’t want to,” he tries. “You just… took me by surprise, that’s all.”

It doesn’t look like Yoongi buys it, his eyes still wide, his bicep clenched so tight under Namjoon’s grip. Hell, Namjoon doesn’t fully believe himself. Yes, he wasn’t expecting this, but he also doesn’t think he wants to be having sex right now at all.

“I just…” Namjoon tries again, calming down his own breathing. “It was a lot all at once, and I wasn’t expecting it.”

There’s a moment of silence, and Namjoon watches Yoongi’s features relax, his body losing some of its tension, not completely though.

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi whispers, refusing to meet Namjoon’s gaze. “I don’t know what came over me.”

There’s a pause.

“Are you okay?” Namjoon asks, letting go of Yoongi’s bicep.

“Yeah,” Yoongi looks up, shaking his head. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know,” Namjoon says. “I… I don’t know.”

Yoongi bows his head, looking so small, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Namjoon says, meaning it.

Another pause.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi meets his gaze.

“Yeah,” a lie. Nothing is going the way he wanted. “Did Seok say when he’ll be back?”

Yoongi shakes his head, “I really am sorry for jumping you like that.”

“It’s okay,” Namjoon whispers, stepping closer to Yoongi. Proximity. Proximity is comforting.

“I just thought…” Yoongi trails off. “You know, the final pairing. Only we didn’t… alone yet. I thought we should just… do it, you know?”

“It shouldn’t be…” Namjoon hesitates, “a chore.”

“It’s not a chore,” Yoongi immediately shakes his head. “That came out wrong. I want to do it. I really do. I just thought we should… not wait with it. So we can even everything out, so we’ll all… be on the same level again,” he shakes his head again, cringing. “I’m sorry.”

Yoongi must have felt more left out than he seemed after last night. When it was just Yoongi and Hoseok, they sort of… evened it out afterward by blowing Namjoon. But yesterday, it didn’t seem right to restart everything with Yoongi. Hoseok was too out of it to do anything. Yoongi saw that. But Namjoon still understands how Yoongi would have felt left out.

“I get it,” Namjoon says, nodding.

Hoseok is not even in the hotel right now. What is Namjoon supposed to do? He didn’t plan on waiting. He definitely didn’t plan on waiting with Yoongi. He just wants to tell them, to stop hiding, face the consequences as soon as possible, whatever they may be. But he can’t do it now because Hoseok is not here. So, what the hell is he supposed to do?

“We could…” Namjoon tries to come up with something in the middle ground. Not sex but also not making Yoongi feel unwanted. “We could just… kiss for a while?”

Kissing would be good. Kissing would mean Namjoon’s mouth would be too occupied to blurt out something he shouldn’t.

“We don’t have to,” Yoongi says. “Not if you don’t want to. I- I don’t wanna… force you to do anything. I don’t know what I was thinking. I shouldn’t have just assumed you would want…” he shakes his head, looking down.

But Namjoon wants to, right? Would Namjoon have preferred it if Yoongi hadn’t come to his room and everything would have gone the way he planned? Yeah. But, Yoongi is here now, and Namjoon doesn’t want to turn him away. He loves Yoongi. He never wants Yoongi to feel unwanted with him. So, Namjoon steps even closer to Yoongi, cups Yoongi’s cheek and kisses Yoongi’s lips. Soft but sure.

It’s all okay. They’ll talk in a few hours when Hoseok comes back. It’s not like Namjoon’s feelings are going anywhere. He’s just going to enjoy this right now. These soft, loving, fucking romantic kisses. He might never get them again.

“I always want you,” Namjoon whispers into Yoongi’s lips.

He cups Yoongi’s other cheek and tilts Yoongi’s head up, opening his lips and sliding them against Yoongi’s, keeping everything slow and soft. And Yoongi just takes it, melting under Namjoon’s fingers. Namjoon realizes, at that moment, that Yoongi doesn’t know Namjoon doesn’t want to have sex right now, that Yoongi might be thinking Namjoon offered kissing as a kind of segue into sex. He could just stop and tell Yoongi, clarify everything, but what’s the point? Hoseok is not even in the hotel. There’s so much time.

Yoongi is here though, and Namjoon loves him so much. It wouldn’t… hurt to have sex if Yoongi really wants to. Namjoon always wants Yoongi, that wasn’t a lie. They’ll kiss, and Namjoon will try keeping it as just kissing, but if Yoongi pushes for sex, or if the kissing leads Namjoon into wanting to have sex too, what’s the harm? Hoseok is aware this is happening, Yoongi wants to it to happen. There’s no harm at all. So he keeps kissing Yoongi, trying to clear his mind for the time being and enjoy the moment.

It works. Yoongi doesn’t try to speed things up either, and Namjoon calms down a bit. If anything, Yoongi makes the kiss even slower, lips opening against Namjoon’s and staying open for a moment, then sliding together, pressing to each other, releasing and going again, both of them breathing deeply. Yoongi’s palms gently slide up Namjoon’s chest, Namjoon’s fingers thread into Yoongi’s hair, and Namjoon is vaguely aware that he’s still anxious to talk to them, but he’s also so fucking in love, holy shit.

Yoongi pulls back from the kiss, resting his forehead against Namjoon’s. He takes his slippers off, and Namjoon does the same, and when Yoongi gently pushes Namjoon’s chest, Namjoon lets himself move, the backs of his knees touching the side of the bed, then falling onto the sheets, shoving the blankets away, and scooting back a bit, Yoongi following him, straddling his thighs.

Namjoon worries that in this position things will start moving a lot faster, but they don’t. Yoongi hovers above Namjoon, looking into Namjoon’s eyes for a moment, then for a few moments, then for far too long, something so incredibly desperate in his gaze, or maybe that’s just Namjoon’s own desperation reflecting itself, but when Yoongi kisses Namjoon, it’s still unhurried, still soft, his hands resting lightly on Namjoon’s shoulders as Namjoon’s arms loop around his waist.

Yoongi’s eyebrows are furrowed the next time he pulls back, and Namjoon reaches up to smooth the wrinkles out with his thumb. Yoongi keeps his eyes closed. His cock is soft, Namjoon can feel it, or rather, he can’t feel it. He wonders why that is. If Yoongi came here to have sex, then he would be getting hard by now. Unless something is bothering him a lot too.

“Can you,” Yoongi starts, then gulps, his eyes staying closed, forehead finding its place against Namjoon’s, “tell me a bit more about what you did with Seok last night?”

“He deepthroated me,” Namjoon repeats what he had already told Yoongi, not sure exactly why Yoongi is asking this. “Then I fingered him, and he came. And then he jerked me off.”

Yoongi nods against Namjoon’s forehead, “What else?”

“Umm… I’m not sure,” Namjoon answers.

“You said he was more spaced out,” Yoongi says. “Why was he more spaced out?”

“He, umm…” Namjoon starts. “I asked him what he wanted, and he told me that he wanted me to take control, to not treat him like he’s fragile, so that’s what I did. I think that’s what made him space out more.”

“Mmm,” Yoongi hums, nuzzling his forehead against Namjoon’s, eyes still closed. Namjoon wants him to open them. “Tell me more? How did you take control?”

Why does Yoongi want to know all of this? Is it still about feeling left out? Could be.

“I took off all of his clothes and didn’t take off any of mine,” Namjoon says. Maybe Yoongi’s getting off on talking about this. Yoongi’s still not hard though. “I looked at him, touched him. Made him get on his knees for me,” Namjoon says, and Yoongi hums again, encouraging. Maybe Namjoon shouldn’t be talking so much. “Started fingering him, but he kept nuzzling into my jeans, so I let him suck my cock, and then I took hold of his hair and pushed him down, made him take me deeper.”

“That’s how he managed to take all of you?” Yoongi asks. “With you pushing him?”

“He was pushing himself, really,” Namjoon says. “I didn’t push him so much as I held him down.”

“He’s always…” Yoongi says, “vulnerable.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon sighs, running his hands up and down Yoongi’s back.

“How is it so easy for him?” Yoongi opens his eyes, locking gazes with Namjoon. God, his eyes are beautiful.

“I don’t know if it’s easy for him,” Namjoon says. “It’s just easier for him than it is for you.”

Yoongi holds eye contact, breathing softly. He’s so beautiful. Namjoon runs his hands up and down Yoongi’s back again.

“Would you ever do that with me?” Yoongi asks quietly.

“Do what?” Namjoon asks, still looking into Yoongi’s eyes.

“Take control,” Yoongi whispers.

“Do you want me to?” Namjoon asks, distantly thinking that if Yoongi doesn’t feel what Namjoon feels, then it doesn’t matter what they might want because they will never have the chance to do it. 

Yoongi nods, “Yeah.”

“I’ll do whatever you want me to,” Namjoon says, doesn’t even hesitate, and Yoongi slots their lips together again.

It’s good to not be talking again. Yoongi’s so warm and so soft, and it feels so good to hold him close like this, but Namjoon wants to ask.

“Can I ask you something?” Namjoon whispers, pulling away from the kiss, but only a bit, just enough to look into Yoongi’s eyes again.

Yoongi nods.

“You said once,” Namjoon starts. “A long time ago, when we had just started sleeping together… that you like control.”

“I do,” Yoongi swallows, and Namjoon knows that Yoongi understands why Namjoon is asking this. “I like having control over my life. My money, my music, my feelings, my reactions. I like having control during sex too. Love pinning someone down and fucking them or riding them. But sometimes… only in sex, I like…” he shrugs, looking away, “letting go.”

Namjoon nods, taking a deep breath. He wants to tell Yoongi. He wants to confess.

“I just don’t,” Yoongi continues. “I don’t normally trust people enough to… to do that. To let myself… do that.”

“And you trust me,” it’s not a question. Namjoon knows Yoongi trusts him.

“Yes,” Yoongi says, catching Namjoon’s gaze again.

“Enough to let go,” Namjoon whispers, and his heart rate picks up.

“Yes,” Yoongi repeats.  

Namjoon exhales shakily, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Yoongi asks.

“For trusting me that much,” Namjoon answers. “For letting me… see you like this. For letting me in.”

The room fills with silence, and Namjoon is looking into Yoongi’s eyes because he can’t look anywhere else.

Yoongi looks right back, his eyebrows furrowing, lips falling open, no words coming out.

It’s so quiet, and Namjoon’s heart is beating so loudly.

Namjoon needs to tell him.

“Say it,” Yoongi whispers, as if he heard Namjoon’s thoughts.

“Say what?” Namjoon keeps his breathing calm.

“Say it,” Yoongi repeats, his own breathing getting heavier. Does he mean…

Namjoon doesn’t say anything. Yoongi can’t mean-

“I can’t say it first,” Yoongi says so quietly if Namjoon wasn’t that close, he would never have heard.

Namjoon doesn’t move. He’s not sure he can say it first either.

Yoongi opens his mouth, but-

“I love you,” Namjoon says and stops breathing.

Yoongi watches him quietly, then he inhales shakily, “I love you too.”

Namjoon watches Yoongi back, and it doesn’t sink in. It just doesn’t sink it.

“Yoongi,” Namjoon whispers, gasps. “I’m in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you too,” Yoongi repeats, his eyes welling up with tears.

“I love you,” Namjoon says again, and Yoongi pulls him into a hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Yoongi repeats again. It’s the third time. Yoongi’s said it three times.

They’re both panting. Namjoon is shaking. Yoongi loves him. Yoongi loves him.

Wait. Namjoon pulls Yoongi away by his biceps.

“I love Hoseok too,” Namjoon says, has to say it. He had to say it.

And Yoongi just smiles, tears in his eyes, eyebrows furrowing, “Me too.”

Namjoon watches Yoongi, and Yoongi watches back.

“I love you,” Namjoon says again. Can’t stop saying it.

Yoongi’s smile widens, one tear sliding down his cheek.

“Those are happy tears, right?” Namjoon asks, and Yoongi nods.

Namjoon smiles, and Yoongi reaches up and wipes Namjoon’s cheek with the pad of his thumb. Namjoon didn’t even realize he was tearing up. He wipes the tear from Yoongi’s cheek too. Then they’re just watching each other, and everything is quiet again.

Yoongi’s smile slowly recedes, his fingers press into Namjoon’s back. He’s still breathing harshly, and Namjoon is too, and the shift in atmosphere is so sudden, Namjoon feels a little lightheaded.

“I love you,” Yoongi whispers for the fourth time, and then he’s kissing Namjoon.

Namjoon inhales shakily, wrapping both arms around Yoongi, squeezing him, bringing him as close as he can. The kiss is so hard. Desperation, frustration, so many pent-up emotions breaking out all at once. Namjoon’s chest burns, and Yoongi whimpers, his nails digging into Namjoon’s shoulders so hard it hurts. Namjoon doesn’t care.

Yoongi’s head tilts back, and Namjoon latches his lips onto Yoongi’s neck. Yoongi moans. So beautiful. Namjoon catches himself before biting too hard and leaving a mark, reminds himself, kissing, just kissing, no sucking, until Yoongi’s lips find his, and they’re kissing again. It feels so good. Yoongi feels so good. He claws at Namjoon’s shirt, lifting it, tugging at it until Namjoon breaks the kiss and lets Yoongi take it off him.

Namjoon pulls off Yoongi’s shirt too, tossing it aside without thinking and bringing Yoongi close again, chest to chest. Yoongi’s hips are moving against Namjoon’s, he’s whimpering, his voice breaking. Now, Namjoon can feel Yoongi’s cock, hardening against his stomach. His own cock is getting hard too.

Namjoon pulls back, “We need to tell Seok.”

“Yes,” Yoongi says, hips still moving.

“God, I fucking love you,” Namjoon exclaims.

Yoongi moans, head falling back. Namjoon’s hand finds Yoongi’s hips, helping Yoongi move.

Should they even be doing this without Hoseok? They need to tell him. They have to. But Hoseok is not here, and Namjoon wants Yoongi so bad.

“Fuck me,” Yoongi exclaims, and Namjoon’s not sure if he’s swearing or asking. “Namjoon, fuck me, please.”

Namjoon stops Yoongi’s movements, “Now?”

Yoongi nods, then stills, “Do you wanna wait for Hoseok to come back?”

Yes. And no. It’ll be hours until Hoseok comes back. Hours.

“Do you?” Namjoon asks.

Neither of them moves, then Yoongi shakes his head ever so slightly, and Namjoon pulls him back into a kiss.

“Get the lube,” Yoongi says into the kiss. “Get it.”

They scramble apart, Yoongi taking his pants and underwear off, Namjoon reaching for the bedside drawers and pulling out a condom and lube. When Namjoon turns back around, Yoongi crawls to him again, tugging his pants and underwear to his knees. Then Namjoon sits up, and Yoongi straddles his thighs the same way as before. Namjoon’s legs are trapped by his pants and underwear, so he can’t really move that much, but he couldn’t care less right now.

Yoongi takes the lube away from Namjoon, pours the liquid onto his fingers and reaches behind himself while Namjoon rolls the condom onto his cock.

“Wait, let me prep you,” Namjoon says, condom on.

Yoongi shakes his head, “Don’t want prep.”

“What?” Namjoon asks, and Yoongi hisses.

“I just stuck two fingers in, I don’t need more,” Yoongi brings his hand around from behind himself, pours some lube directly onto Namjoon’s cock, and it’s so cold on Namjoon’s hot skin, Namjoon shivers. “I want it to hurt.”

“It’ll hurt with good prep too,” Namjoon protests.

Yoongi wraps one palm around Namjoon’s neck, the other grabbing Namjoon’s bicep, lifting himself to balance on one knee and one foot above Namjoon’s cock.

“Please let me do this,” Yoongi says, releasing Namjoon’s bicep and reaching between them, wrapping a hand around Namjoon’s shaft. “I’ll take it slow, I promise.”

“Only if you’re sure,” Namjoon says, holding Yoongi’s waist.

“I’m sure,” Yoongi says, placing Namjoon’s tip right at his hole.

Nothing happens for a moment, only pressure on Namjoon’s tip. Yoongi’s jaw clenches, his breathing steadies, eyebrows furrow with determination. Namjoon can see the pain in Yoongi’s eyes as they stare right into his, then all of the sudden the tip of his cock breaches Yoongi, and Yoongi’s lips fall open. No sound comes out, and he stops breathing, but his eyes stay open and on Namjoon’s.

“Please tell me you’re okay,” Namjoon says.

Yoongi exhales then, and inhales, nods, exhales and inhales again.

He’s not even clenching around Namjoon’s cock, he’s just clamped tight, so tight it actually hurts. He doesn’t move, and Namjoon doesn’t rush him. Instead, Namjoon runs his hands up and down Yoongi’s back, trying to relax him. They’re still looking into each other’s eyes, and Namjoon’s heart is pounding, but he’s so happy he wants to cry. Yoongi loves him back.

“I love you,” Namjoon whispers, losing count of the number of times he’s said these words. They sound so good.

It’s then that Yoongi starts clenching around him, but that’s a good sign, means his body is starting to relax.

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear that,” Yoongi says.

“Can you say it again?” Namjoon asks.

Yoongi smiles widely, “I love you.”

Namjoon closes his eyes, smiling, resting his forehead on Yoongi’s shoulder. The happiness is so overwhelming, but it’s not complete yet, not without Hoseok. Namjoon’s doesn’t think it’ll ever be complete without Hoseok. 

Yoongi’s fingers run over Namjoon’s scalp, and Namjoon looks up, meets Yoongi’s eyes again. He drags his palms over Yoongi’s thighs, and Yoongi slowly starts sinking onto Namjoon’s length. It doesn’t take very long, Yoongi working himself down slowly but steadily.

“Does it hurt a lot?” Namjoon asks.

“The first moment hurt a lot,” Yoongi says. “Now less. But it still hurts, yeah.”

“Not too much?” Namjoon asks.

Yoongi shakes his head, “Feels really good.”

Namjoon runs his hand through Yoongi’s hair, and Yoongi’s eyes flutter shut.

“Can you lift yourself on your other foot as well?” Namjoon asks.

“Why?” Yoongi asks, moving his hands to Namjoon’s shoulders and raising himself up onto the other foot without actually waiting for an answer, Namjoon’s cock pulling out of Yoongi a little as he goes up.

Namjoon moves his hands down to Yoongi’s calves.

“I want you to wrap your legs around me,” Namjoon says.

“In this position?” Yoongi asks, and Namjoon nods, pulling one of Yoongi’s calves down, straightening Yoongi’s leg.

As Yoongi straightens out his other leg as well, Namjoon spreads his own legs as much as he can, his pants and underwear sliding down to his ankles. He brings his hands down to hold Yoongi’s ass cheeks, leans back a bit, and Yoongi sinks down fully onto his cock, grunting deeply, his eyes rolling back. Namjoon’s so deep inside Yoongi now, Yoongi’s weight pushing against Namjoon’s balls.

“Fuck, that’s deep,” Yoongi exclaims.

“Wrap them around me,” Namjoon says, and Yoongi follows, crossing his legs behind Namjoon’s back, his weight pressing even harder on Namjoon’s balls.

“I can’t really move like this,” Yoongi says, trying to rock back and forth.

Namjoon takes hold of Yoongi’s hips and moves him back and forth, “I know.”

Yoongi’s eyes widen a fraction, “Oh.”

“Is that okay?” Namjoon asks.

A small pause.

Yoongi nods slowly.

He’s not fully constricting Yoongi’s movement this way. It’s just enough for it to be a slightly different experience. Something new. Something Yoongi hasn’t let him do before.

Namjoon can’t really move like this either, what with his legs still held together by his pants, so he has to rely on moving Yoongi with his hands and on however much Yoongi can move on his own. He realizes, very quickly, that this position is going to be hard on his spine, so he decides to reach behind himself and brace one hand on the mattress, and that turns out even better because he can now use this leverage to roll his hips. Regardless, it’s okay. Namjoon’s not planning on building up too much speed anyway.

He moves his hips against Yoongi, and Yoongi works with him, grinding as much as he can. Namjoon can only move in and out so much in this position, but even that small bit is enough, what with how deep he is. Yoongi seems to be trying to breathe but unable to do it fully, his breaths cutting off every time he sinks fully down onto Namjoon’s length. Actually, he’s barely making noise at all.

“Baby,” Namjoon whispers, and Yoongi’s eyes meet his. “You okay?”

Yoongi’s mouth opens and closes a few times, murmurs of almost fully formed words coming out.

“Baby?” Namjoon insists.

“Deep,” Yoongi breathes. “Fuck.”

“Do you wanna pull up a bit?” Namjoon asks.

“No,” Yoongi continues inching back and forth. “When you push up like that…” he trails off.

“What?” Namjoon asks.

“You’re right on my prostate,” Yoongi exhales.

Yoongi’s eyes roll back with a cut-off moan, and Namjoon smiles.

“I wish Seok was here,” Yoongi says.

Namjoon couldn’t agree more, “Yeah.”

“It’s like he’s…” Yoongi looks back down at Namjoon.

“Missing?” Namjoon offers.

“Yeah,” Yoongi says. “Like a missing piece.”

“I know,” Namjoon says. “I feel it too.”

“What are we gonna do if he doesn’t love us back?” Yoongi asks, eyebrows furrowing, corners of his lips pulling down.

Namjoon’s chest tightens, “I don’t know, baby.”

“I want him to love us back,” Yoongi whispers, then exhales roughly, rolling his hips a bit harder on Namjoon, his nails dragging across Namjoon’s back.

“Me too,” Namjoon says sadly.

“When I was alone with him,” Yoongi closes his eyes. “It felt like you were missing too.”

“We missed you as well,” Namjoon says.

“I wanna tell him so bad,” Yoongi moans, tightening around Namjoon’s cock.

Namjoon tugs Yoongi closer and kisses him. Or tries to, because suddenly Yoongi gasps.

“Fuck,” Yoongi exclaims. “There. Right-“ he cuts off with another gasp.

Yoongi’s whole body coils up. He coils up so tight he basically stops moving. And then he whines, eyes squeezing tight, frustrated. So, Namjoon moves for him, ignoring the light burn in his arm where he’s holding himself. Actually, Namjoon’s whole body feels like it’s burning. Fuck, Yoongi feels good.

“Look at me,” he tells Yoongi.

There’s no reaction. It doesn’t even seem like Yoongi heard him.

“Yoongi,” Namjoon says, and Yoongi’s eyes snap open. “Look at me.”

Yoongi looks, his mouth open wide, breathing shallowly, cock pressed tight to Namjoon’s stomach, chest flushed pink.

“You look so good,” Namjoon exclaims, and Yoongi gasps. “Do you feel good?”

Yoongi nods frantically.

“Hold me tighter,” Namjoon instruct, and Yoongi’s fingers claw at his back, trying to brace himself. Namjoon quickly takes his hand off the bed, leans forward and places that hand on Yoongi’s lower back. “Brace your feet on the bed,” Namjoon adds, and when Yoongi does as he says, Namjoon uses that leverage to pick up the speed.

Yoongi gasps, his eyes closing.

“Keep your eyes on me,” Namjoon says, and Yoongi’s eyes open. “That’s it, baby. You’re so good for me. Right, hyung?”

Yoongi’s eyes widen in surprise, but he nods anyway, and Namjoon leans his forehead against Yoongi’s.

“Tell me,” Namjoon says, a wave of warmth washing through the pit of his stomach. “Tell me you’re good.”

Yoongi’s eyebrows furrow. He’s not breathing.

“I’m good,” his voice is barely a whisper.

“That’s right,” Namjoon tries to thrust up a little harder. “For me. Good for me.”

“Good for you,” Yoongi says softly, inhaling sharply. “I’m good for you.”

He keeps his eyes open as instructed, but Namjoon can see him losing focus, getting the same look in his eyes that Hoseok gets. The same look that Hoseok had yesterday.

“That’s it,” Namjoon whispers. “Let go.”

Yoongi’s forehead smooths out, mouth drops open, gasping, fingers going completely slack on Namjoon’s back.

“Let go, baby,” Namjoon breathes.

Almost all of Yoongi’s body goes limp, his arms, his legs, his shoulders, only his hole is holding Namjoon tightly inside. He’s barely breathing, and that’s it, no other noises. This has never happened before. Never. Yoongi’s gaze is still locked with Namjoon’s though, and Namjoon doesn’t dare look away, keeping his eyes exactly where they are, like an anchor.

Suddenly, Yoongi’s hole tightens, his breath stutters and Namjoon feels something warm and wet dripping down his stomach. He almost looks away, but he doesn’t need to look down to understand that Yoongi is coming, so he keeps his eyes right where they are, rocks into Yoongi again and again and again, listening to Yoongi gasp, feeling Yoongi’s fingers twitch, and coming too.

He stops moving right away, orgasm washing through him but not thrusting into Yoongi anymore. Yoongi is completely limp in Namjoon’s arms, breathing deeply, head lolling to the side, and Namjoon’s back is starting to hurt a bit too much. He straightens out his legs under Yoongi and tries to get his bearings back.

“Baby,” Namjoon whispers, bringing both hands up to Yoongi’s cheeks, steadying Yoongi’s head. Yoongi’s eyes are open and on Namjoon, but it’s like Yoongi’s not fully there. It’s scary. Fuck. “Hyung.”

Yoongi swallows, and his hole spasms around Namjoon’s cock.

“I’ve got you,” Namjoon says, running his fingers through Yoongi’s hair. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you. I’ll take care of you.”

Yoongi doesn’t respond. His eyes are glazed over, cheeks flushed. He’s still looking Namjoon in the eyes though, and that’s like an anchor for Namjoon too. Yoongi is still right here, trusting Namjoon to take care of him.

“I love you,” Namjoon whispers. “You’re safe.”

He holds Yoongi close as Yoongi’s breathing slows, keeps running his fingers though Yoongi’s hair, watching this complete state of calm that Yoongi has fallen into. The only times Namjoon ever sees Yoongi like this are when Yoongi is sleeping.

“Can you tell me that you’re okay?” Namjoon whispers, cupping Yoongi’s cheek and softly turning Yoongi’s head to fully face him.

“-kay…” Yoongi exhales. “Sa…”

“What?” Namjoon whispers.

Yoongi sighs and goes quiet again.

“That’s okay, baby,” Namjoon brushes hair off Yoongi’s forehead. “You’re okay.”

It takes a few more minutes for Yoongi to come back. By then, Namjoon’s cock is fully soft inside him, and his legs have gone a little numb, but he didn’t want to move. All he wants to do is be there for Yoongi when he comes back to him.

“Joon?” Yoongi whispers.

“Yeah?” Namjoon responds.

“I’m kinda cold,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon doesn’t know it makes him smile, but it does.

“Let’s get you under the blankets, hmm?” he asks.

“Okay,” Yoongi exhales, still limp.

“I’m gonna lift you up a little now so I can pull out, okay?” Namjoon asks.

When Yoongi hums his agreement, that’s exactly what Namjoon does, wrapping his arm around Yoongi and lifting him, holding the base of the condom with his other hand. Yoongi whimpers when Namjoon is finally out, leaning into Namjoon’s body again. Namjoon holds Yoongi tightly and slowly tips them both over to the side, making sure Yoongi’s head lands softly onto a pillow.

Yoongi’s body is so sluggish that when he lies down, his legs fall away from around Namjoon. Namjoon kisses Yoongi’s forehead and pulls the discarded blankets over Yoongi’s body. Then, he scoots to the side of the bed, quickly takes the condom off and tosses it to the trash, stands up and lifts his underwear and pants back on. He climbs back onto the bed to the side that Yoongi is facing and drops a kiss onto Yoongi’s cheek. Right when Namjoon steps off the bed to go get a wet towel and a bottle of water-

“Joon,” Yoongi whispers, turning onto his back. “Don’t go.”

“I wanna get you some water,” Namjoon says, leaning back towards Yoongi, brushing Yoongi’s hair behind his ear. “Clean you up.”

“Don’t go,” Yoongi repeats, and he looks so small covered up to his neck with the blanket.

So Namjoon doesn’t go. He picks his shirt up from the carpet and drags it across his own stomach, then lifts the blanket to wipe it across Yoongi’s stomach as well, cleaning as much come as he can. When he gets under the covers, he takes Yoongi into his arms.

“I’m not sure what just happened to me,” Yoongi says, hand coming up to Namjoon’s chest.

“Spaced out,” Namjoon says, kissing Yoongi’s forehead. “Same as Seok.”

Namjoon will have to talk to Yoongi about this more. He’s not fully sure what that spacing out means or how to deal with it. And if today doesn’t ruin his relationship with Hoseok, Namjoon will have to talk about it to him too. He needs to look it up, find information, maybe talk to Jimin as well, he might know something about it. He can’t have them so completely out of it during sex without knowing what to do when it happens.

“That’s never happened to me before,” Yoongi sighs. “Not to that degree.”

“You’re okay though, right?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah,” Yoongi answers, beginning to trace little patterns onto Namjoon’s chest. “I felt like I was dreaming.”

“A good dream?” Namjoon asks, catching Yoongi’s gaze.

Yoongi smiles, “Yeah.”

“Good,” Namjoon smiles too.

“I still feel a little…” Yoongi makes a loose fist on Namjoon’s chest, releases it and forms it again, “weak.”

“Why do you think it hasn’t happened any of the other times?” Namjoon asks.

“I don’t know,” Yoongi says, going back to tracing patterns, talking slowly. “I just… I just felt so… calm but also emotional. Trusted you enough to do what you told me to do, felt relieved after hearing you say you love me,” a smile tugs at Yoongi’s lips. “Was really worried that Seok might not love us back. Still am. But I was still so… happy. And I felt really safe. It all mixed, and I was… You told me to let go, so I just… did.”

“Thank you for trusting me enough to do that,” Namjoon tells Yoongi for the second time, somehow meaning the statement even more now.

“I love you,” Yoongi whispers and smiles.

“I love you too,” Namjoon says, his heart clenching.

“When did you know you… felt it?” Yoongi asks. “When did it happen?”

“I’m not sure when it happened,” Namjoon says. “I realized it after bottoming for you, or maybe sometime during. But I think the feeling itself was there a long time before that.”

Yoongi nods, “I realized it after… after telling you and Seok about what happened our first time together, about me panicking. I said the words… I said I love you, and it was supposed to mean one thing, but I realized, all of the sudden, that it meant something else.”

“Is that why you cried back then?” Namjoon asks, remembering the tears, remembering how Yoongi couldn’t seem to stop the tears.

“I felt like I fucked everything up,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon squeezes him gently. “Felt alone. Was alone.”

“Wasn’t alone,” Namjoon whispers.

“Not physically, no,” Yoongi says. “Both of you were there, present, treated me like I was something special. But I was alone in my feelings. You didn’t have feelings back then. Or you didn’t realize yet.”

“I wish I had,” Namjoon kisses Yoongi’s temple, hates the thought of Yoongi hurting.

“I wasn’t ready for that realization,” Yoongi shakes his head. “I was so overwhelmed by it. Consumed by it. Like I had no control over myself. At that moment, right after realizing, I wanted you near… I wanted to feel close to you. But after that, after we had sex, I just wanted space. Just wanted to think. Get myself under control again.”

“We felt that you needed space from us,” Namjoon says. “Didn’t know why though.”

“Did you also feel overwhelmed like that when you realized?” Yoongi asks.

“I was worried about the consequences. What it would mean if you didn’t feel it back,” Namjoon answers, and it feels so fucking good to talk about it. “But I wasn’t really surprised by my own feelings. It felt like a long time coming.”

Yoongi nods, “It’s like we both needed to be a little traumatized to realize.”

“Traumatized?” Namjoon asks.

“An emotionally overwhelming experience,” Yoongi explains. “Bottoming for you, talking about our first time for me.”

“I wasn’t… traumatized by the bottoming. But I do see your point,” Namjoon says. “Like we needed something big to happen. Something out of the ordinary.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi exhales. “I can’t remember something like that with Hoseok. Something significant enough. Something… really out of the ordinary. I feel like… he might not… have had enough time to figure out his feelings. If he ever will. If he even has any feelings to figure out.”

“We don’t know that,” Namjoon whispers.  

“There were a few times where I… felt like he felt it too,” Yoongi says, eyebrows furrowing. “But then the club happened…”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Namjoon says, the image of Hoseok kissing that girl flashing before his eyes again. “It’s just that he was so upset about it. He still is. He obviously regrets it.”

“His regret about it is practically the only thing that gives me hope,” Yoongi says. “Like there’s still a chance he feels it back. A small chance, but still a chance.”

“We’ll tell him after he comes back to the hotel,” Namjoon says.

Yoongi nods, “Yeah.”

“You know…” Namjoon starts, rubbing Yoongi’s back. “Even if he doesn’t love us back now, doesn’t mean he never will. It might happen over time. You know, once he knows about our feelings, he might… I don’t know.”

“Maybe,” Yoongi whispers.

They lie in silence for a moment, and Namjoon’s heart hurts at the thought that Hoseok might never grow to feel it back, that they’re being overly hopeful.

“What happens if he never feels it back?” Yoongi asks, reading Namjoon’s thoughts again.

“Then we’ll… have to let him go. Somehow,” Namjoon says. It’s a lot easier to say it to Yoongi now than it was to say it to himself earlier, even though it hurts all the same. “His happiness comes first, even if it’s not with us. It’ll hurt-“

“Understatement,” Yoongi cuts in. “It’s like, I- I tried to imagine being with just one of you and I… I can’t even force myself to imagine it, it hurts so bad. Like, don’t get me wrong,” he looks Namjoon in the eyes. “I’m so fucking happy to have you. But I don’t wanna lose Hoseok to someone else. I want him to be mine,” a pause. “To be ours,” Namjoon nods. He understands. “Does that make me selfish?”

“If it makes you selfish, it makes me selfish too,” Namjoon says, kissing the top of Yoongi’s head.

“Do you think he’ll be mad at us?” Yoongi asks. “Because we ruined it?”

“I don’t think he’ll be mad,” Namjoon says, and somehow, he really does believe it. Hoseok wouldn’t be mad. He might be disappointed. He might pity them. Feel bad for them. But he wouldn’t be mad.

It’s quiet for another moment, and Namjoon thinks about how all he really needed to do to get Yoongi to open up to him is be honest. It should have been such an obvious thing to do.

“I think the worst part of realizing that I love you was that I felt like it was so predictable,” Yoongi exclaims.

“What do you mean?” Namjoon asks.

“Like… of course one of us would get emotionally invested eventually,” Yoongi scrunches up his nose. “They always do in movies and shit. Why would we have been any different?” he huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. “And if one of us had to be first, of course it’d be me. The one who’s already been with men. The one who’s had feelings for men before. Should have seen it coming a mile away. So predictable.”

“Predictable? If it was predictable, it would have been me first,” Namjoon says, and Yoongi raises his eyebrows. “Hyung, I literally went gay for you guys.”

Yoongi blinks at him then suddenly bursts out laughing, shaking in Namjoon’s arms. Namjoon smiles, then leans in and kisses Yoongi on the lips.

“Text him?” Yoongi asks. “To ask when he’s coming back?”

Namjoon’s smile falls when he reaches for the bedside table to get his phone, worry crashing into him like a wave.

‘Are you coming back soon?’ Namjoon texts Hoseok.

There’s no reply for a few minutes, then- ‘two hours. maybe a little longer. why?’

Namjoon watches Yoongi read the text.

“Tell him we want to talk to him,” Yoongi says. “Maybe he’ll get ready emotionally. Don’t want to completely blindside him with this conversation.”

‘Yoongi and I want to talk to you about something,’ Namjoon sends.

‘did something happen?’ Hoseok texts back immediately.

“No, everything’s okay,” Yoongi dictates, and Namjoon types. “It’s just talking.”

Hoseok doesn’t reply again for a minute.

‘okay,’ Hoseok texts with a simple happy smiley attached.

“That’s not good,” Namjoon says. “Blindsiding him would have been better. Now he’s just worried. Won’t be able to enjoy his time with his friend.”

Yoongi grimaces, “You’re probably right.”

Namjoon puts the phone down and pulls Yoongi closer to him.

“What do we even do in the meantime?” Namjoon asks. “We have to wait now. How do we just… wait?”

Yoongi shakes his head, “I don’t know.”

“I was like, fucking hyped up, ready to tell you,” Namjoon exclaims.

“Ready to tell me?” Yoongi asks. Namjoon forgot Yoongi doesn’t actually know what he was planning on doing.

“When you came into my room, and I was about to leave,” Namjoon says. “It was to go tell both of you.”

“Like, to confess?” Yoongi asks.

“Yeah,” Namjoon shrugs, for some reason feeling bashful.

“Wow,” Yoongi’s eyebrows rise.

“Jeongguk encouraged me,” Namjoon says. “Gave me a little confidence.”

“Kook?” Yoongi asks.

“I talked to him this morning,” Namjoon says. “Technically, he was the first one I confessed to.”

“Huh,” Yoongi exhales. “Why?”

“You said he was good at reading you,” Namjoon says. “I thought he might have known something I didn’t.”

“Did he?” Yoongi asks.

“He pretty much knew everything,” Namjoon huffs out a laugh. “That I love you, that you love me.”

“And Seok?” Yoongi asks.

“He knew everything but that,” Namjoon’s smile falls. “Said he couldn’t read Seok when it came to that, that he’s like a closed book.”

Yoongi frowns for a second, then exhales harshly, “Can’t believe you were actually gonna tell us.”

“I think I almost shit myself like ten times today just thinking about doing it,” Namjoon says.

Yoongi laughs, “And you still have to do it.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon turns to look into Yoongi’s eyes. “At least I’m not alone now.”

They wait. There isn’t really much else they can do. Namjoon can’t come to terms with the fact that Yoongi is here with him, that this is real. He’s right here, cuddling Namjoon, and the words he said are echoing through Namjoon’s mind – ‘I love you’, ‘I’m in love with you’, but it doesn’t feel real. It just doesn’t fucking feel real.

Namjoon gets up off the bed eventually, putting on a clean shirt, going to the bathroom and wetting a towel, then cleaning Yoongi properly and giving him something to drink. Yoongi lets him, no protests, which is nice. He even lets Namjoon dress him, get him into his discarded pants and underwear, and one of Namjoon’s shirts. He’s fully back to himself now too. Not energetic precisely, but that’s normal, he’s rarely hyped up visibly. He is more tense though. They both are.

A little over half an hour after texting Hoseok, and their cuddling no longer feels all that calm. Namjoon’s buzzing. And he can feel that Yoongi is buzzing too. Namjoon just wants to do it already. Face the music. He tells Yoongi as much, and then they’re just anxious together. Talking to Hoseok with Yoongi is going to be better than talking to Hoseok and Yoongi alone, but it’s still fucking scary. This day going to kill Namjoon. He’s already exhausted. Been crying all fucking day. An hour and a half left to wait, maybe a little more, and then it’s time.

Or not.

There’s a knock on Namjoon’s door. He and Yoongi share a look of confusion and get up off the bed. It could be anyone, one of the other members, one of their managers, anyone. But it’s not. It’s Hoseok.

“It’s Seok,” Namjoon whispers to Yoongi, looking through the peephole.

“What is he doing here?” Yoongi whispers back, and Namjoon shrugs. “Well, fucking open!”

Namjoon’s not ready.

When Namjoon opens the door, Hoseok looks up from the floor.

“Hey,” Hoseok exclaims, clasping his hands together. Hoseok’s nervous. Shit. “I know I said two hours but…” he laughs. Uncomfortable. “You said we needed to talk, and that’s… kind of ominous,” he laughs again. “And I guess- I guess it was kinda… visible on my face… that I was worried, so my friend told me that I should go. Deal with my shit,” he swallows harshly. “I told him not to worry, but he… insisted. Said he’s still gonna be in LA for a while, so we’ll have time to see each other again. So uh, I came back to the hotel, and uh… I knocked on Yoongi’s door, and you weren’t there, so… now I’m here,” he pauses, looks up at Namjoon and Yoongi. “Am I… interrupting something?”

Namjoon can’t speak.

“No, no, no,” Yoongi says, shaking his head. “You’re not interrupting. Of course not. And you… didn’t have to hurry.”

Hoseok smiles. It’s fake. Shit. Yoongi taps Namjoon’s shoulder, and Namjoon wakes up suddenly, moving aside to let Hoseok come in.

“Umm, so,” Hoseok bites his lower lip. He seems to be going for a lighter tone of voice. That’s fake too. “What are we talking about?”

Namjoon closes the door behind him. He’s not sure if they should be doing this in his room or not. Will it be easier for Hoseok to leave this room if everything goes to shit? Or should they… go to Hoseok’s room, and then if everything goes to shit, maybe it’d be easier if Yoongi and Namjoon would leave? Namjoon doesn’t know. He doesn’t know. This is happening. Shit.

“Do you wanna…” Yoongi starts. “Sit? On the bed?”

“This requires sitting,” Hoseok’s eyebrows rise, and he bites his lower lip again. “Are you breaking up with me?” he laughs awkwardly. Silence. “Bad Joke,” Hoseok looks uncomfortable. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to… be nervous,” Yoongi says, sounding entirely unconvincing.

“Right, yeah,” Hoseok laughs a little manically. “I’m not gonna be nervous when you two look really fucking nervous.”

“We’re-“ Yoongi tries.

“Look at him,” Hoseok cuts him off, turning to Namjoon. “He’s like, pale.”

“I’m fine,” Namjoon says, trying to sound convincing. He’s not fine. “Just… let’s sit down.”

“Look,” Hoseok doesn’t sit down. “If this is about-” he pauses. “If you want to-”

“Whatever you think it is,” Yoongi cuts him off. “It’s probably not.”

He climbs onto the bed, sitting with his legs crossed and back to the headboard. Namjoon watches, glued to the ground, as Hoseok murmurs “okay,” and sits down on the bed too, in the middle, facing Yoongi. They both turn to look at Namjoon then, and Namjoon takes a deep breath and gets onto the bed next to Yoongi. Nobody’s touching. It’s super fucking silent. Hoseok can’t look them in the eyes. And Namjoon’s hands are shaking.

“Umm,” Namjoon starts, not sure how to continue. Hoseok looks up at him. Namjoon places his hands flat on his thighs to stop the trembling. “Umm.”

Hoseok’s gaze drops again. Namjoon still can’t say it. The second time should be easier, shouldn’t it? The first time he confessed went really well. Maybe he’s hesitating because he’s even less sure with Hoseok than he was with Yoongi. Maybe it’s because Yoongi had to practically drag it out of him, and Hoseok is not doing that.

Namjoon glances at Yoongi. His eyes are a little wider than normal. Kind of looks like he’s in shock. Yoongi couldn’t even say it the first time until Namjoon said it. He probably can’t say it first now either.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts by Hoseok laughing manically again.

“It feels like a fucking breakup,” Hoseok laughs, then gasps. His breathing is shaky, and his smile falls far too fast. “And we’re not even dating. What the fuck?” his eyes meet Namjoon’s, then move to Yoongi. His eyebrows furrow. It looks like he’s in pain. “Can you please just say something?”

“It’s not a breakup,” Yoongi murmurs.

“Then what is it?” Hoseok asks, and Namjoon realizes that he has to take the lead.

“It’s not a breakup,” Namjoon says. “It’s kinda the opposite.”

Hoseok stays quiet. Okay. More. Namjoon needs to explain more.

“This is gonna be a little…” Namjoon tries, gets stuck. “And we know it might not… make you happy,” Namjoon tries again, but that just makes Hoseok swallow harshly and clasp his hands together again, knuckles white with how hard he’s holding himself. Namjoon takes a deep breath. “Something’s changed for me and Yoongi,” he says. “And we have to tell you.”

Hoseok takes in a shaky breath, and his eyes widen. It looks like fear. He’s afraid. But he doesn’t say anything.

“We just need you to know that…“ Namjoon looks at Yoongi, and Yoongi is looking back.

Yoongi’s hand finds Namjoon’s, interlocking their fingers. It calms Namjoon a little. Only a little though.

Hoseok’s gaze drops to their hands, and his breathing picks up. More fear. Namjoon hates it. Hates it. Hoseok shouldn’t be afraid with them.

Namjoon just needs to do it. Bite the fucking bullet. Just bite it.

He turns to Hoseok, “I love you.”

“I also love you,” Yoongi whispers immediately.

“I love you too, but-“ Hoseok says immediately, then gasps, still afraid. “I don’t understand.”

Hoseok’s breathing is far too fast now. Hoseok doesn’t understand. He doesn’t get it. He-

“No, Seok,” Namjoon corrects, looks at his and Yoongi’s interlocked hands, then back up at Hoseok. “We love you, like-“

“In love,” Yoongi whispers.

Too fast. Hoseok is breathing too fast.

“In-“ Hoseok hiccups, and no. No, no, no.

Namjoon lets go of Yoongi’s hand and scrambles towards Hoseok, hugging him from the side, pressing him close. Yoongi is frozen for a moment, freaked out, but then he rushes to Hoseok as well, hugs him from the other side. Hoseok is shaking. He’s shaking so bad.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon hurries to say. His heart is fucking pounding. Breaking. They shouldn’t have done this. Shouldn’t have told him. Shouldn’t have- “I didn’t mean for it to happen. It just did. I’m sorry.”

He looks at Hoseok. Hoseok is crying. Yoongi’s eyes are watering, open wide. He’s scared too.

“I love you too,” Hoseok says, hiccups again. “I love you too.”

Namjoon bends down, cups Hoseok’s cheek, turns Hoseok’s face.

“What?” Namjoon whispers, not understanding, needing to understand. “Seok.”

Hoseok’s eyes squeeze shut, two more tears sliding down his cheeks.

“I love you too,” Hoseok whispers, his eyes staying closed.

Namjoon looks at Yoongi, whose shock has only seemed to intensify. There are wet tear streaks on Yoongi’s cheeks, and Namjoon distinctly feels two tears fall from his own eyes as well.

Hoseok gasps, “Oh my god, oh my god, fuck.”

“Seok,” Yoongi whispers, and Hoseok bows his head, folding in on himself.

“I thought you were gonna tell me you don’t want me anymore,” Hoseok sniffles. “That you wanna be left alone.”

“We wouldn’t-“ Namjoon tries. “We wouldn’t- we would never-“

“You said you needed to talk,” Hoseok gasps. “And I fucked up so bad I wasn’t even surprised you would want to get rid of me. Oh my god, I thought-“ he swallows. “I thought it was over. I thought…”

“I love you,” Yoongi says, sniffling too. “I love you so much, Seok. Fuck.”

So long,” Hoseok exclaims as Namjoon and Yoongi squeeze him harder between them. “It took so long.”

Namjoon doesn’t understand what Hoseok is talking about, but he can’t ask. His throat hurts, and Hoseok crying is the worst thing in the world, so Namjoon is crying too. Just hug him. That’s all Namjoon can do.

“So long?” Yoongi pulls back from the hug and faces Hoseok. “How long have you known? How long have you been holding this in?”

Hoseok looks up, but he doesn’t answer. His nose and eyes are red, cheeks wet, can’t seem to stop sniffling. He doesn’t want to answer, Namjoon can tell, and Namjoon won’t press. Not now.

“Seok,” Yoongi does press, eyes darting around Hoseok’s face.

“I don’t know,” Hoseok mumbles, looking away. “A couple months?”

What? Yoongi’s eyes widen, and Namjoon feels his eyes do the same. Yoongi takes Hoseok into his arms again, pressing Hoseok’s head to his chest, his eyes staying wide, looking at Namjoon. A couple months?

“I love you,” Namjoon whispers. “I’m sorry for scaring you. We would never get rid of you. Never. Never.”

A couple months. Hoseok doesn’t stop crying, shaking, sniffling. A couple months. Yoongi and Namjoon hold him. Namjoon doesn’t know if there’s anything else they can do. He should apologize more. A couple months of hiding. Namjoon could barely even take a few days.

“Do you really?” Hoseok asks quietly. Namjoon and Yoongi pull back from the hug to look at him, staying close. He’s stopped shaking, but he’s still crying.

“Really what?” Namjoon asks.

“Do you really…” Hoseok sniffles. “Really-“

“Love you?” Yoongi offers, and Hoseok’s eyebrows furrow, his lips pulling into a frown as he nods.

“Yes,” Namjoon says, cupping Hoseok’s cheeks.

“Yes,” Yoongi smiles.

“Okay,” Hoseok whispers, a little smile tugging at the corners of his frown.

Namjoon can’t help but smile too. Hoseok loves them back. Yoongi loves him. And Hoseok.

“So, you wanna…” Hoseok looks away, lips trembling, “date?”

Namjoon smiles wider, and Yoongi does too.

“Yeah,” Yoongi says, leaning in and pressing his forehead to Hoseok’s.

“Okay,” Hoseok repeats, smiling.

“Okay?” Yoongi pulls back.

Hoseok nods shakily, still smiling, still crying, and Namjoon thinks his heart is going to burst, so he tugs both of them into a hug, pushing his own head between their chests.

“Joonie,” Yoongi coos.

“Shut up, I’m happy,” Namjoon says, more tears falling down his cheeks.

 Yoongi huffs out a laugh, and Namjoon is smiling so wide it hurts.

“Fuck, I’m so happy,” Namjoon exhales, and Yoongi pulls him up by his bicep.

They’re all smiling now. All wet cheeks and pink noses and huge smiles.

Yoongi cups Namjoon’s cheek.

“You’re so beautiful,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon’s not sure why, but the words catch him off guard.

He feels his own eyes widen and doesn’t think at all before leaning in to kiss Yoongi, hard and deep. Then quickly moves away from Yoongi and kisses Hoseok too.

“I love you,” he says into Hoseok’s lips, and Hoseok whimpers. “I really, really do.”

A tear slides down Hoseok’s cheek, “I love you too.”

Yoongi leans closer and, with both thumbs, wipes Hoseok’s cheeks, then kisses Hoseok’s nose, making Hoseok smile.

“A couple months?” Yoongi whispers, and Hoseok looks away, smile fading. “When did you know? What changed things for you?”

“Nothing, really,” Hoseok shakes his head. “I don’t know, I- I woke up in my bed one morning, and I just… wanted you there.”

“But what happened?” Yoongi insists. “How did you realize? What was- what was the cause?”

“Nothing,” Hoseok whispers. “I just missed you. I think, when I woke up that day, for some reason I was expecting you to be there, and you weren’t, so I was… sad. All day, I was just so sad. And I thought about how waking up next to you would have made me happy, and I remember just thinking at one point ‘oh, I think I might love them,’ and that’s it.”

“That’s it?” Yoongi asks, and Hoseok shrugs.

“Why?” Hoseok asks. “When was it for you?”

“When I told you about panicking over our first time together,” Yoongi answers.

Hoseok smiles sadly, “I knew.”

“What?” Yoongi asks, confused. Namjoon can’t say anything.

“I saw it,” Hoseok says. “The change. All the pain you were in… I don’t know how, I just- I just felt it. Or I thought I did. Couldn’t be sure. Couldn’t risk outright telling you. But I… I tried to let know back then, just in case I was right… that you weren’t alone in what you were feeling.”

“I remember,” Yoongi says. “I didn’t realize that was what you meant.”

“I don’t think you wanted to realize,” Hoseok says. “I figured that you probably weren’t ready to accept what you were feeling yet.”

“I didn’t accept it,” Yoongi says. “Not at first.”

“I couldn’t accept it at first either,” Hoseok says. “Took me a long time to… come to terms with it.”

He takes a breath and opens his mouth as if he wants to continue speaking, continue telling them about it, but he doesn’t.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Yoongi asks. “I can’t imagine holding it in for so long.”

“How would you have reacted if I told you then?” Hoseok asks, eyebrows furrowing. “Two… two and a half months ago.”

Namjoon doesn’t know how he would have reacted. He wouldn’t have been mad, he’s sure of it, but he was not at all ready two months ago for their relationship to change. They might have ended everything if Hoseok had told them back then.

“Exactly,” Hoseok says, and Namjoon realizes he’s referring to the silence, to Namjoon and Yoongi not answering him. “It wasn’t the right time. It wouldn’t have ended well. Wouldn’t have ended like today,” they’re quiet for a moment. “It wasn’t the right time for me either.”

“What do you mean?” Namjoon asks.

“I was so mad at myself,” Hoseok grimaces, and his eyes well up with tears all over again. “So mad. So disappointed. For the first- I don’t know, two weeks? I- I kept telling myself that I was being an idiot, that I was just confused by how much I cared about you as friends, that I didn’t actually love you, that I…” he trails off, taking a deep, shaky breath. “That I wasn’t in love with you, I was just confused. I couldn’t admit it to myself, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I didn’t let myself believe it. But… every time I was with you, it felt so real,” he takes another deep breath and abruptly stops talking again.

“You can tell us,” Namjoon whispers, catching Hoseok’s gaze. “You don’t have to keep it in anymore.”

“Please,” Yoongi adds, and Hoseok nods.

“After that morning,” Hoseok says. It looks like he’s trying to keep his voice calm, but it trembles anyway. “After I… realized that I love you, I was suddenly so much more aware of the way we treated each other. The way we touched, the way we kissed, the way you would… hold me during sex, the way you made me feel,” he gulps, sniffles. “Like I was safe. Like you would take care of me. Like you-“ he pauses. “Like you loved me. So, every time we were together, it felt like we were… together. Like it was real, like we loved each other. It didn’t feel like casual sex. It didn’t feel like any of my hookups. It didn’t. It just didn’t, and suddenly I was so aware of it.”

He pauses, bowing his head and breathing in and out shakily, calming himself.

“It’s okay,” Namjoon says, sitting down with his legs crossed close to Hoseok, nuzzling into the side of Hoseok’s neck, running his fingers over the back of Hoseok’s head. “Everything’s okay.”

Yoongi follows, sitting in front of Hoseok. He gently cups Hoseok’s jaw and raises Hoseok’s head. There are fresh tears falling down Hoseok’s cheeks.

“It’s okay,” Yoongi repeats. “We’re here. You don’t need to hide anymore. We’re right here.”

Hoseok nods, and Namjoon wraps his arms around Hoseok’s torso.

“It was never like a hookup, you know?” Hoseok whispers. Yoongi lets go of Hoseok’s jaw and takes both of Hoseok’s hands in his. “I always cared so much about you. Trusted you so much. I was never really… that open in bed with anyone. I did so many new things with you. And I was never scared. I always trusted you. And you never disappointed, you know? You always made me feel safe. In every one of those new things. And the first two months really did… feel casual. I was never… detached emotionally like in my hookups, but it was casual. And then that morning happened, and what felt causal before didn’t feel so casual anymore. Because I could suddenly see us, almost like I was looking at us from the side. I could see the way we behaved with each other. And it didn’t look casual. It looked so… intimate,” he takes in another shaky breath. “And it reminded me so much of… the few relationships that I had before we debuted. And it just… for a while, I ignored my feelings for you, kept telling myself that I was stupid, that it wasn’t- it was nothing like that. Nothing like those relationships.”

Hoseok stops talking, and Namjoon nuzzles into Hoseok’s neck again, dropping a little kiss right under Hoseok’s chin, encouraging. It’s okay. They’re all going to be okay.

“I used to fall in love so quickly. Have I ever told you that?” Hoseok whispers. No, he didn’t tell Namjoon that. Yoongi shakes his head. “The first girl I kissed… I thought I would marry her. I was a kid, and I was sure I was in love with her, that I was meant to spend the rest of my life with her,” he gulps, his voice turning a bit more mechanic, less emotional. “First girl I had sex with… I was in love with her too. Three days after kissing her for the first time, I lost my virginity to her. We were cuddling afterward, and I told her- I told her that I loved her. And she broke up with me two days later. Same with the second girl I had sex with, fell in love with her too. I didn’t tell her, was too afraid, but it didn’t matter anyway. We dated for four months, and I was in love for almost those entire four months, but she never felt it back, so it didn’t matter.”

He sniffles again. But at least the tears have stopped.

“They would let me touch them, let me be with them, and I would pour myself into it, give them everything I could, everything I had,” Hoseok continues. “And it would take me no time. No more than a week, and I would think ‘she’s the one’. Every single one of them was ‘the one’. Every time, every girl that would smile at me like I was the fucking world, I would fall in love with. I would just hope… every time… that it was the right person,” he pauses, gulping. Yoongi squeezes Hoseok’s hands. “I forgot I was like that after we debuted, when there was no time for relationships anymore. I never fell in love with hookups, not once, I- it was different. I knew it was just sex with them, and I managed to… detach myself. I know now that it wasn’t really love with those girls either. That it was infatuation. I know it. Now, I know it. But I didn’t know it back then. It felt real back then. And then I fell in love with you…”

Hoseok’s breathing picks up, and he starts trembling in Namjoon’s arms all over again.

“It’s okay,” Namjoon whispers one more time. “I love you. It’s okay.”

“And then I fell in love with you,” Hoseok repeats, voice strained. “And I was convinced that I was just confused, that I was just infatuated again, that it wasn’t love. That it just feels real in the moment, but eventually I’ll come to my senses and realize that it wasn’t real at all. That I will have ruined our friendship for nothing. But no matter how much I tried to convince myself that my feelings weren’t real, I couldn’t do it,” his eyes squeeze shut, tears slipping out. “Because it felt different with you. I didn’t fall in love with you right away. I wasn’t infatuated. I didn’t want to spend every fucking waking moment with you. Everything felt new with you. I felt so safe with you. So calm. I was never frantic, I was never… scared. I never felt like I needed to prove something to you, like I needed to live up to some expectation. So I knew… after like two weeks of fighting with myself, that there was no point in fighting. I knew that-“ he sniffles, “that my feelings were real. For the first time, they were real. I was in love with my best friends, and I was heartbroken because they didn’t feel it back, and they never will.”

More tears. From Hoseok and Yoongi both. And Namjoon too.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon whispers, squeezing Hoseok.

Yoongi’s lips are trembling, fingers gripping Hoseok tightly.

“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” Hoseok says. “I don’t blame you in any way,” he lifts his and Yoongi’s hands up to wipe his cheeks, then lets them fall back into his lap. “I almost ended it back then. I was seriously considering asking to get out of our agreement. To not have sex with you anymore. Just to stop my feelings from getting even worse. But I was already so deep in it that…” he pauses. “I almost ended it.”

“Why didn’t you?” Namjoon asks.

“I couldn’t,” Hoseok shakes his head. “Couldn’t give up being with you.”

Namjoon thinks about Yoongi, about when Yoongi realized that he loved them. Yoongi tried to distance himself right after, tried to physically leave them alone in bed after sex. Namjoon had to beg Yoongi to stay. And Yoongi did stay. It must have felt awful.

“It was the same for you, wasn’t it?” Hoseok asks, looking at Yoongi.

Yoongi nods shakily, “It was better to be with you and hurt than to not be with you at all.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok nods.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon repeats. He should have realized his own feelings sooner. If he had realized sooner, he would have been able to save them so much pain.

They look at him. He hates the wet cheeks and pink noses.

“I wish I had realized sooner,” Namjoon says, shaking his head. “I’m sorry for taking so long.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Yoongi says.

“I-“ Namjoon starts.

“When did you realize?” Hoseok cuts him off, and Namjoon remembers that Hoseok doesn’t know his side yet.

“After the club in Mexico,” Namjoon answers. “After bottoming.”

“Oh,” Hoseok breathes. “I didn’t notice,” he shakes his head, as if he was supposed to notice. “I was so… in my own head back then, I missed it. Missed the moment.”

“You weren’t supposed to notice,” Namjoon whispers.

“I know, but,” Hoseok shrugs. “I was waiting for it to happen, and, with Yoongi, I did notice. So I thought I would with you too.”

“What do you mean you were waiting for it to happen?” Yoongi asks.

“After I realized… that my feelings were real, after I… accepted it,” Hoseok says. “After I realized that I wasn’t strong enough to actually end things with you, for a while, I thought I just have to accept my fate. To accept that I’ll never be with you the way I want to be with you, that what we had was the best I’ll get. But then I… I remembered what it was that caused so much of my confusion in the first place,” he looks up, catches first Namjoon’s gaze, then Yoongi’s. “That… that intimacy that we had, the fact that it didn’t feel like hookups, the fact that it felt so real when we were together, the way we were behaving with each other. It gave me hope,” he shrugs. “That it’s just going to take time. That eventually, it’ll become real for you too, that you’ll figure out that you feel it too, and I just had to wait, to let you get there at your own pace.”

“So you just waited?” Yoongi asks, eyebrows furrowed. “How could you just wait for two and a half months?”

“I didn’t just wait,” Hoseok shakes his head, and Yoongi’s eyebrows rise. “Well, I mean, I did at first, but… as time went on, I was getting… more and more frustrated at how nothing was changing. I was getting worried that I was waiting for no reason, that things will never change for you. And I realized that we were just… stuck in the same routine. Doing the same things over and over. Same quick sessions in studios, same process for fucking in hotel rooms, same everything. So, no wonder nothing was changing for you. It was all the same all the time. And it hit me that the only way things will ever change will be if we break out of the routine.”

“What did you do?” Yoongi asks, and Hoseok huffs out a laugh.

“Not enough,” Hoseok says. “Everything I did completely went over your heads. It was all your doing at the end. You breaking yourselves out of the routine. With the confessing and crying,” he looks at Yoongi. “With the bottoming,” he looks at Namjoon. “The things I did didn’t do much of anything.”

“But what did you do?” Namjoon asks, genuinely curious.

“At first all I did was just…” Hoseok starts, “initiate more kisses, more cuddles, more touching, outside of sex. But I don’t think you noticed that at all,” Namjoon didn’t notice. “Then I… Do you remember, on the day that Seokjin walked in on us, we had this whole talk about kissing separately? About how you didn’t notice me kissing you when we were alone?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon answers.

“That was one of the things I did,” Hoseok says, and their expressions must be enough reason for him to elaborate. “Did you really think I didn’t notice that I kissed both of you outside of sex and alone on the same day?” 

Namjoon’s eyebrows rise, and Yoongi’s eyes widen. Hoseok laughs and sniffles.

“That morning, when I was brushing my teeth with you,” Hoseok looks at Yoongi. “We were looking at each other in the mirror, and I just thought about how much I wanted to kiss you. Just a small, good morning kind of kiss. But Namjoon wasn’t with us, and the situation was far from sexual. So I was like, ‘I’m not supposed to kiss him right now,’ but I made a quick decision and kissed you anyway. Trying to break out of the routine. And you didn’t notice at all.”

Yoongi’s lips fall open like he’s about to say something, but he stays quiet.

“And I decided that I had to kiss you alone too that same day,” Hoseok turns to look at Namjoon. “I thought that there would be no way that you’d miss it if I kissed both of you like that on the same day. And you did notice. Sort of. You brought it up after we told everyone we were sleeping together. And I freaked out,” he breathes, cringing. “I wanted you to notice because I thought that it’d be out of the ordinary enough to change the routine, but not obvious enough to give my feelings away. But when you brought it up, I freaked out. I was sure that it was too much. Ended up babbling like an idiot about how I ‘didn’t know it was breaking a rule,’” Hoseok laughs at himself. “And even then... we decided that it wasn’t like breaking a rule, and that it was okay, so long as it didn’t turn into sex. So, you noticed that I did it, but you didn’t find it weird at all that I ‘accidentally’ broke the same rule with both of you on the same day.”

Namjoon has no idea what to say.

“I wasn’t too surprised that you didn’t notice,” Hoseok adds. “A lot of shit happened that day.”

“So, that was everything?” Yoongi asks, and Hoseok shakes his head.

“That was everything… until Mexico,” Hoseok says.

“The club,” Namjoon breathes.

“Yeah,” Hoseok looks down. “After the club. I told you that I won’t sleep with other people. I asked for us to change the rule about having sex all together. Two rules at once. Personal record.”

“Why did you ask for it?” Yoongi asks.

“Breaking out of the routine,” Hoseok answers simply, still looking at his lap. “I’ve thought about asking for it before, but I never… I could never do it. I thought it’d be way too much to ask for. That it’ll give away what I’m feeling for sure. I thought… I think that’s what people in polyamorous relationships do. That they have sex separately too. So if we did it, it would change the dynamics and maybe make you notice that you feel something. I wasn’t planning on asking that night, it just happened. In the moment, after I came, when I was still kind of hazy, I felt like I could do it. It wasn’t bravery that made me do it. I just felt like I had to. Take two steps forward for the million steps I pushed us back.”

“What?” Namjoon asks.

“I kissed her,” Hoseok says, his eyebrows furrowing. “I kissed her.”

“We weren’t…” Namjoon tries, “together… yet.”

“I know,” Hoseok’s voice is so small, his lips pulling into a frown again, trembling. “I know we weren’t together. That’s why I did it. That’s why I kissed her back. She was right there. She was interested. She was offering. She was the kind of girl I would have never said no to before. And I was having so much fun with her. And everything I was doing with you was failing. Every attempt at making things change with you was failing. And I was dancing with her, and I asked myself at what point am I just being delusional? Hoping for you to realize that you love me and wanna be with me like some idiot. We weren’t together,” Hoseok spits out, choking up. “We weren’t together, and she was there, and she was real, and she kissed me, and I kissed her back, and it took me less than two seconds to start hating myself for it.”

“Seok,” Namjoon interjects.

“And you didn’t even care,” Hoseok ignores him, tears coming again. “You didn’t care. You just told me how everything was fine. It was all fine, and I didn’t do anything wrong. And you weren’t even mad. I wanted you to be mad. I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, and you weren’t mad. I cheated, and you were telling me that I was allowed to do it and that I shouldn’t feel guilty about it.”

“You didn’t cheat,” Namjoon says desperately.

“I did,” Hoseok insists. “I felt like I cheated, and you didn’t care. And I- I understood why you were saying the things you were saying, but I cheated, and I wanted you to be angry. I wanted you to be so fucking angry. Because if you would have been angry, then it would have meant that you cared, that you felt something for me, that I wasn’t being delusional, that I wasn’t hoping for nothing. But you weren’t even angry.”

And just like that, Namjoon and Yoongi are hugging Hoseok again, and Namjoon’s chest hurts all over. And they can’t even see Hoseok’s face anymore, but Hoseok just keeps going.

“I fucked up so bad,” Hoseok repeats, gasping. “I was so scared. I fucking regretted asking to have sex separately because I thought you were gonna have sex without me and realize that I was such a fucking asshole, that I cheated, and that you deserve better. And then I was having sex with Yoongi without you, and I missed you so much. Namjoon, I missed you so much. I didn’t wanna miss you. I felt like I was failing there too. We should be able to have sex separately too, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I couldn’t stop wanting you there. I couldn’t stop feeling like it was incomplete without you. And then Yoongi told me that he felt that way too, and I thought that we were failing at being in a relationship before the relationship even started. And I missed Yoongi so much when I was with you too,” he gasps. “I didn’t know how much I’d miss you. I didn’t know how much I needed both of you. And you were both so good to me, and you weren’t angry, and I didn’t know what to do. And then you texted me today after having sex without me, and you said you needed to talk, and I thought it was over. I thought it was over.”

And then he’s just sobbing. And Namjoon is crying. And Yoongi is crying. And the two of them hold Hoseok and say “I love you”, and it doesn’t feel like they’re doing enough, but Namjoon doesn’t know what else he can do. So he just keeps saying it. “I love you,” and “I’m sorry,” and “I love you,” again. But Hoseok is crying and shaking, and everything hurts, and it feels like it’ll never end.

It does end eventually. Hoseok pulls away from them, wiping at his cheek and nose, groaning.

“I feel gross,” Hoseok chokes out, running the back of his palm under his nose. “And I cried on your shirt,” he pats Yoongi’s shoulder like it’s going to dry it.

“That’s okay,” Yoongi says, wiping his own cheeks. “I cried on yours too.”

“I’m gonna be right back,” Namjoon blurts out and jumps off the bed, running to the bathroom and grabbing a roll of toilet paper, then rushing right back to them.

“Thanks,” Hoseok smiles when Namjoon hands him the roll.

He tears of a long line of toilet paper, hands the roll to Yoongi who takes some toilet paper too and gives the roll to Namjoon. And then they’re sitting there wiping themselves.

“Fucking mess,” Hoseok laughs.

Yoongi laughs too, and Namjoon smiles, giving more toilet paper to Hoseok. He leans towards Hoseok then, moves Hoseok’s hands from Hoseok’s face and kisses him. Soft and short, keeping their noses together. Hoseok’s bloodshot eyes gaze into Namjoon’s, and Hoseok’s lips stretch into a small smile. They sit there, breathing each other in as Yoongi gets up off the bed then climbs back on.

Namjoon kind of expects Yoongi to join them, but Yoongi stays away, simply sitting on the bed. When Namjoon turns to look at Yoongi, he finds Yoongi watching them and smiling, his eyes soft.

“What?” Namjoon whispers.

Yoongi shakes his head, “You just look… good together.”

Namjoon smiles.

“I brought the trashcan closer,” Yoongi points to the side with his chin.

Hoseok quickly wipes his nose again, then throws the toilet paper into the trashcan. Namjoon tosses away his own toilet paper too.

It’s then that Yoongi comes closer, shuffling over on his knees and bending down to nuzzle his nose against Hoseok’s cheek.

“Mine,” Yoongi whispers, dropping a kiss onto Hoseok’s cheek, then turning to Namjoon, kissing Namjoon on the lips. “And mine.”

Namjoon laughs, “Possessive.”

Yoongi shrugs, blushing.

Hoseok gets up onto his knees too, and when Yoongi turns to him, Hoseok kisses Yoongi on the lips.

“Yours,” Hoseok whispers, and Yoongi’s eyes widen.

“Can’t believe it,” Yoongi breathes.

“Me neither,” Hoseok says, brushing his nose against Yoongi’s.

They look at Namjoon, then back at each other, smile, kiss, and crawl over to Namjoon, Yoongi pushing Namjoon’s chest until Namjoon topples over onto the bed, the two of them falling down on either side of him, their legs tangling over Namjoon’s.

Namjoon laughs. Can’t help it. He feels overwhelmed with sudden joy, like a million weights have been lifted off his chest. His entire body coils up with the feeling, his toes curling, abs clenching. He hisses.

“Fucking mine,” Namjoon whispers and tugs them closer. “My babies.”

Hoseok lifts himself, bracing a hand on Namjoon’s chest, and kisses Namjoon on the lips.

“God, you say that so much,” Hoseok exclaims.

“What?” Namjoon asks.

“My babies, my baby,” Hoseok answers. “Do you even realize how much you say that? Do you know how confusing it was?”

Namjoon’s eyes widen.

“I think you’re far more possessive than I am,” Yoongi says, smirking.

“I-“ Namjoon tries. “I mean…”

“It’s good,” Yoongi says, biting Namjoon’s earlobe. “I like it.”

Hoseok nods, looks at Yoongi then at Namjoon.

“Your babies,” Hoseok whispers, nodding some more, and Yoongi braces himself on the mattress and leans up to kiss Hoseok. Not soft. So deep.

“His babies,” Yoongi says into Hoseok’s lips, smiling and kissing Hoseok again. “But you’re my baby too.”

Hoseok hums his agreement and kisses Yoongi.

Namjoon runs his hands through their hair.

“I love you,” Namjoon breathes, a little dazed. It feels so good to say it. He loves saying it. Such great words. A wonderful sentence. Magnificent sounds.

Yoongi tugs on Hoseok’s bottom lip with his teeth then leans his forehead against Hoseok’s, eyes closed, breathing deep. Hoseok nuzzles his nose against Yoongi’s, presses another kiss to Yoongi’s lips, runs his hand over Yoongi’s neck and breathes. They both stay right there, simply breathing. And Namjoon does nothing but run his fingers through their hair, letting the silence wash over them.

The relief that Namjoon feels after confessing, after hearing what they had to say, having them open up, he imagines that relief must be even more overwhelming for them. They both held their feelings in for much longer than him. Especially Hoseok. He cannot imagine doing that. Cannot imagine how hard that must have been, how much it must have hurt.

His babies. They’re his now. He’s going to make them so happy now.

God, he really is possessive.

Yoongi’s eyes flutter open and focus on Hoseok’s closed ones. He smiles, brushing his knuckles over Hoseok’s cheekbone.

Yoongi looks so in love. His eyes are basically sparkling. It’s so beautiful.

“The thing you said…” Yoongi’s eyebrows furrow slightly as he speaks, and Hoseok’s eyes open. “About polyamorous relationships. About how… we should be able to have sex separately too, how you thought it was weird that you couldn’t stop thinking about Joon when we were together. Do you really believe that? That having sex separately is… necessary for us as a… throuple?”

Hoseok’s eyebrows rise, “You don’t?”

Yoongi shrugs.

“I kind of…” Namjoon says, “think the same way as Seok.”

Yoongi hums, and his lips purse together.

“I don’t,” he shakes his head. “When you and I were having sex without Joon, I didn’t think it was… abnormal that I was thinking about him. Not in my… condition.”

“Condition?” Hoseok asks.

“Being in love with him,” Yoongi states. It’s amazing how easy it seems for Yoongi to say those words now. Namjoon guesses the two of them had more time to get used to those words than he did.

“You say that like it’s a medical issue,” Hoseok exclaims.

Yoongi laughs, “Fuck off, you know what I mean.”

Hoseok smiles widely. His nose is still a little pink, but he looks calm now, the tears gone as if they were never there. Actually, he looks really happy. It must have felt so amazing to get everything off his chest. He waited for two and a half months. God.

“Like,” Yoongi frowns. “I don’t know, it’s… I felt like it made sense to miss him. It made sense to miss you earlier today with Joon too. Because… well… I love both of you. So… I don’t know, I never thought it was weird,” he turns to Namjoon. “Did you?”

“Think it was weird to think about Seok when I was with you, and about you when I was with Seok?” Namjoon clarifies, and Yoongi nods. “No,” Namjoon answers. “I don’t think it was weird to think about you, but I did think that we… should be able to have sex in twos.”

“We are able,” Yoongi says. “It’s not a question of ‘able’. I can get my dick up for either of you. Easily. It’s about preference, no?”

“What do you mean?” Hoseok asks.

“We prefer to have sex all together,” Yoongi shrugs. “Maybe because we’re all in love, maybe because we all really like threesomes, it doesn’t matter. I feel like… defining polyamory that way… saying what it should and shouldn’t be is…” he trails off, frowning, seems to be looking for the right words. “We might be the kind of throuple who only has sex together. That’s… possible. And valid. And wouldn’t make our relationship any less significant, or any less polyamorous,” he pauses. “I don’t know anything about polyamory, really. Never met people in polyamorous relationships. Don’t have any examples to follow. But… it seems to me that polyamorous relationships are just relationships.”

He stops again, thinking, and Hoseok and Namjoon both stay quiet. Namjoon really wants to hear what Yoongi has to say.

“So maybe we’re the kind of throuple who has sex only all together, and maybe sometimes we’ll get horny, and one of us won’t be there, and we’ll have sex separately and think about and talk about the one who’s not there,” Yoongi continues, taking a deep breath. “As long as we talk about what we’re comfortable and uncomfortable with… As long as we communicate honestly… it should all be fine. I really don’t think it’s necessary to have sex in twos.”

It’s quiet for a moment, and Namjoon lets Yoongi’s words sink in. He’s right. There’s no rule book for polyamory. Not one that Namjoon knows of at least. They just need to talk to each other and be honest, like they would in any other relationship.

“I think we need a new set of rules,” Namjoon says.

Yoongi smiles, first small then wider, and then he starts laughing.

“Yes,” Yoongi says. “Let’s make a list. Pros and cons of being in a polyamorous relationship with your bandmates.”

“Shut up,” Namjoon whines, laughing, and Yoongi falls down on the bed beside him, Yoongi’s arm wrapping around his torso. Hoseok lies down too. “I didn’t mean a pros and cons list, just-“ Namjoon sighs, smiling. “All this talk about rule breaking and shit… our old rules don’t apply anymore. I need order,” Namjoon exclaims, and both Yoongi and Hoseok laugh at him. “We need to update our rules to accommodate the new… conditions.”

Yoongi and Hoseok laugh harder. And fine, Namjoon laughs too.

“Okay, okay,” Yoongi stops laughing, clearing his throat. “Let’s take this seriously. What are the new rules?”

“Don’t wanna do it anymore,” Namjoon mumbles stubbornly, holding in laughter, turning Yoongi’s head and locking their lips together.

For a second, Yoongi seems to completely forget about talking, kissing Namjoon slow and deep. When Namjoon lifts himself off the mattress to straddle Yoongi’s hips, Hoseok’s hand falls away. Namjoon glances at Hoseok before leaning in to kiss Yoongi again, and Hoseok is smiling, wiggling closer to them and smiling even wider.

“Come on, Joon,” Yoongi says mockingly before Namjoon’s lips touch his again. “We have to take this seriously.”

Namjoon just laughs. He’s so fucking happy. Holy fuck.

“Honestly, what rules are even changing?” Yoongi asks. “It’s all basically the same.”

“Still need to be careful around cameras,” Hoseok says. “Probably more than ever.”

“No sleeping with other people,” Namjoon says.

“We already changed that rule,” Yoongi laughs.

“True,” Namjoon says, then frowns. “Can we… If we do have sex separately, can we agree to tell each other about it? Before or after doesn’t matter, just-“

“Yeah,” Yoongi cuts Namjoon off.

“Yes,” Hoseok says, the laughter dying down, everything feeling a bit more serious.

“Are we gonna tell the others right away?” Yoongi asks.

“We should,” Hoseok says, nuzzling his nose into Yoongi’s hair.

“I think the sex side of our relationship was the most difficult side for them to get used to anyway,” Namjoon smiles. “So…” he laughs. “Can you imagine the horror Seokjin will have to face if he walks in on us kissing and saying ‘I love you’ and being all mushy with each other in your studio?”

Yoongi and Hoseok start laughing.

“There will be a meltdown,” Namjoon exclaims, and they only laugh harder. “So much worse than catching us fucking.”

Yoongi’s nose scrunches up, “Are we gonna be doing that now?” He laughs and cringes at the same time, “That sounds so cheesy.”

“Oh, you don’t even know cheesy,” Namjoon says seriously, a huge smile bursting on his face. “I love you.”

Yoongi’s nose scrunches even more, and Hoseok smiles widely.  

Namjoon cups Hoseok’s cheek and leans in to press his forehead to Hoseok’s.

“I wanna take you out on a date,” Namjoon exclaims.

Hoseok giggles.

“Aww,” Yoongi exclaims.

“And I kinda wanna suck both of your dicks,” Namjoon adds.

Yoongi laughs, “Well, that sounds more like us.”

Namjoon laughs breathily, moves around to straddle one of Yoongi’s thighs and one of Hoseok’s, bracing his hands beside their heads.

“I wanna…” Namjoon sighs, letting his imagination run wild. “I wanna take you out to a fancy-ass restaurant and… and have candles on the table and- and roses, and hold your hand and fuckin’… gaze into your eyes and kiss you, and… and say really cheesy things like ‘I love you,’ and ‘you’re beautiful,’ and- and- and-“

Yoongi shuts him up with a kiss.

“That’s really gross and unrealistic,” Yoongi says into Namjoon’s lips and nods. “Please keep going.”

Hoseok laughs.

“What do you mean unrealistic?” Namjoon argues. “I’ll buy out the fucking restaurant for a night if I have to.”

“You are not buying out a restaurant for a date,” Yoongi exclaims.

“Is this our first fight?” Namjoon asks, opening his eyes wide and pouting.

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up!” Yoongi exclaims, and Namjoon and Hoseok burst out laughing.

Namjoon bends down and buries his face into the bed between their heads, smiling so hard his whole fucking face hurts. Yoongi and Hoseok throw their legs around him, still laughing.

“Seriously though,” Namjoon lifts himself a bit, just enough to looks into their eyes. “I really wanna take you out on a date.”

“It’s a sweet thought,” Yoongi says, smiling. “But you know how unrealistic it is to do anything… couply in public.”

“Not to a restaurant then,” Namjoon says, biting his lower lip.

“Movies?” Hoseok suggests.

“That’s nice and cheesy,” Namjoon nods.

“We can give each other handjobs in the back row,” Yoongi’s eyes widen.

“Yes,” Hoseok says. “Give the bodyguards something exciting to look at.”

Yoongi makes a sound of disappointment, and Hoseok’s stomach rumbles.

Namjoon and Yoongi look at him.

“I was thinking about popcorn,” Hoseok says, and Namjoon and Yoongi laugh. “What? All this restaurant-talk got me hungry. I was going to have an early dinner with my friend, but then I left.”

“I’m kinda hungry too now that you mention it,” Yoongi says, his eyes widening with surprise.

And yeah, now that they’re talking about it, Namjoon realizes that they haven’t eaten in a long time.

“Okay, so here’s the plan,” Namjoon says, coming up with said plan on the spot. “Right now, we are going to order room service-“

“Hell yeah,” Hoseok interjects.

“-And we’re gonna eat,” Namjoon continues, ignoring him. “And then, after the food settles slightly, I will blow both of you-“

Yoongi starts laughing, cutting of Namjoon’s train of thought.

“Stop cutting me off,” Namjoon whines, laughing.

Yoongi’s face turns very fake-serious.

“Yes, yes,” Yoongi says, nodding. “You’re gonna blow us, keep going.”

“I’m gonna blow you,” Namjoon repeats, smiling. “And then we’ll be really tired and probably fall asleep.”

“How long do you plan on blowing us for?” Yoongi asks.

“As long as you can hold off on coming,” Namjoon reasons.

“Ah,” Yoongi exclaims, nodding. “Makes sense.”

“You’re laughing, but let me just remind you that you already came once today,” Namjoon tells Yoongi. “You’re gonna be out like a fucking light.”

Yoongi blushes, and Hoseok laughs.

“He is right,” Hoseok says, and Yoongi blushes harder.

“Besides, we have to get up early tomorrow anyway,” Namjoon adds.

“That’s true,” Yoongi says.

“So, we’ll go to sleep,” Namjoon continues with his plan. “But then tomorrow, after we get back to the hotel-“ Namjoon pauses. “Wait, no,” Namjoon tries to figure out the plan. “Yes,” he changes his mind. “After we get back to the hotel, we’re having a date.”

“In the hotel?” Yoongi asks.

“For now,” Namjoon declares. “That’ll be our first date. Think of it as a casual date. No need for fancy clothes or anything,” Namjoon pauses, then adds quickly, “until I figure out how to rent a restaurant for a night, and then you’ll have to wear fancy clothes,” and before Yoongi can interject, “or, if I’m already renting the restaurant, you can come in your pajamas for all I care. Or naked. That’s fine too.”

Yoongi and Hoseok both look like they’re really holding in laughter. But Namjoon is on a fucking roll.

“So tomorrow,” Namjoon repeats, holding in his own laughter. “After we come back to the hotel, we’ll go to our separate rooms,” Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “No, hear me out,” Namjoon says. “We’re gonna go to our separate room because I’m gonna need like, an hour to get everything prepared.”

“Get what prepared?” Yoongi asks.

“Our date,” Namjoon answers like it’s obvious. “I’m gonna get… flowers! And candles! And rose petals. And balloons-“

“Balloons?” Hoseok asks.

“Aren’t balloons romantic?” Namjoon asks.

“I don’t know,” Hoseok answers.

“I’ll get red balloons,” Namjoon corrects.

“Okay, then,” Hoseok shrugs. “That’s… probably romantic.”

“And!” Namjoon exclaims, and Yoongi lets out a tiny laugh. “I’ll get cake. Chocolate cake. And strawberries. And whipped cream.”

And… Yoongi officially can’t hold his laughter in anymore. His whole body is shaking.

“Hey,” Namjoon says. “I’m being fully serious here.”

Hoseok joins Yoongi in the laughing.

“Where are you even going to get all of these things?” Hoseok asks between laughs.

Namjoon opens his mouth then closes it, and Yoongi laughs harder.

“Shouldn’t there be like… a service? In the hotel?” Namjoon asks. “For couples and shit?”

“I have no fucking idea,” Hoseok answers.

“I don’t know,” Namjoon exclaims, waving them off. “I’ll figure it out. Don’t underestimate my abilities to romance you.”

“Somehow I don’t,” Yoongi says. God, Yoongi’s smile is beautiful.

“Okay, okay, so,” Namjoon goes back to the plan. “We’ll go to our separate rooms, and I’ll prepare everything. And you’re just gonna… clean your buttholes real good for me-“

“Oh, my god,” Yoongi interjects, and him and Hoseok both laugh.

“And an hour later, you’ll come to my room,” Namjoon continues. “And we will eat cake and strawberries and whipped cream, and then we will fuck all night-“ Namjoon pauses, backtracks, “-scratch that. We will make love-“

“Aaah!” Yoongi screams, cringing with his whole body. Hoseok and Namjoon both burst out laughing. “Aah! The cringe!”

Namjoon pins Yoongi to the bed, “Shut up and accept my love!”

“No!” Yoongi screams. “Relationship canceled!”

“We didn’t even last an hour!” Namjoon exclaims and starts laughing.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever seen,” Hoseok mumbles.

Namjoon leans over Hoseok, cups Hoseok’s cheek, whispers “I love you,” and kisses him.

Chapter Text

“We need to come up with a plan,” Namjoon says, sitting down on his bed. Hoseok has just gone out with Jeongguk and Jimin.

“Are we actually even considering this?” Yoongi asks, pacing back and forth in front of Namjoon.

“If you don’t wanna do it, we really don’t have to,” Namjoon raises his hands in defense.

“Fuck yeah, I wanna do it,” Yoongi stops, facing Namjoon. “Do you?”

“For you and Seok, yeah,” Namjoon drops his hands, shrugging.

“Oh, no, no, no,” Yoongi shakes his head. “If you’re only doing this for us, but you don’t actually wanna do it for yourself, then I don’t wanna fucking do it.”

There’s a pause.

“I do wanna do it,” Namjoon mumbles. “Ever since you brought it up again, I’ve… warmed up to the idea.”

“Warmed up to the idea?” Yoongi asks.

“I thought about it and got so hard I had to jerk off, okay?” Namjoon says.

Yoongi pushes his tongue against the inside of his cheek, holding off a smirk.

“So, we are doing it?” he asks.

“We’re not doing it, we’re considering it,” Namjoon corrects. “I don’t know if it’s even possible. There’s a whole bunch of shit to figure out. We- we need to scan the place. We need to figure out cameras. We need to figure out guards-“

“Why this place?” Yoongi cuts him off.

“Hyung, we’re in the middle of an arena tour,” Namjoon says.

“No shit,” Yoongi says. “But why this arena?”

Namjoon sighs, “It’s the smallest arena we’ll be performing in during this tour. It’s indoors. We have three shows there, that means we have enough time to figure the place out. It’s in Japan, so we’re not totally fucked with the language,” Namjoon pauses. “And, like you said, Seok’s birthday was just a week and a half ago, so timing couldn’t be better. I looked at the list of the other arenas, and if the chances of us managing to do this in this arena are small, then the chances in the other arenas are nonexistent.”

“Okay,” Yoongi says, strutting over to the bed and sitting down. “So what exactly do we need to figure out?”

“Are there any people working there at night?” Namjoon starts. “That’s the first thing. If there are, that’s it, game over. If there aren’t, then we need to figure out cameras. Are there cameras inside the actual arena? Where do they point? Do they record with sound or only image? We need to map the place out. Entrances. Which doors are open at night and which ones are closed. We need to figure out which entrance is the best for us to use, and then how the fuck to get the key for it.”

“Lot of work,” Yoongi says.

“Yup,” Namjoon nods.

“We’ll start figuring it out tomorrow during rehearsals,” Yoongi says.

Namjoon nods.

“We’ve lost our minds,” Yoongi adds.

“No doubt,” Namjoon says.

“Cool,” Yoongi says.

“This better be fucking worth it,” Namjoon mumbles.

Yoongi laughs.

 

 

 

Three months have gone by since they started dating, and… not much has changed. Well, some things did change, but most everything stayed the same. They’re still doing the same activities as they would have otherwise, they’re still best friends. They’re still moving from hotel to hotel and performing show to show.

The only thing that Namjoon can pinpoint that has really changed is that now they always sleep in the same hotel room at night. They still each have a room of their own since the rooms have been ordered a long time ago, and finding an explanation for why they suddenly need one room with one bed and not three rooms without exposing their relationship to the management is kind of impossible. And, at least for now, they’ve decided to not tell the management. Sleeping in the same room means that they no longer need to use their threeway chat for sex. They basically live together now, so they can have sex as much as they want whenever they want. Oh, and yeah, the sex has… not really changed so much as it has… evolved.

Namjoon supposes their behavior also changed a little bit since they started dating. Namjoon feels a lot more comfortable praising them and calling them his, and they seem to be more accepting of it, more relaxed in general. Hoseok especially is calmer now. Namjoon didn’t notice before how coiled up Hoseok had been, but now he sees the difference. More smiling, more laughing, more responsive to Namjoon’s praise. “Will you be good for me?” “I’ll be good for you.” “My baby,” “Your baby.” Yoongi’s more responsive to Namjoon’s praise too, just not vocally. It’s mostly Namjoon saying something, and Yoongi blushing and nodding, and that’s pretty amazing to Namjoon.

They say “I love you” to each other a lot, seem to all be very fond of expressing their love verbally. And while Namjoon has yet to close down a restaurant so they could have that date, they do go on other kinds of dates, during which they basically just look like three friends hanging out. It’s a little frustrating that he can’t hold their hands or kiss them in public, but it’s okay, he can do that at the hotels, and after the tour, he’ll be able to do that at home too. They have a lot of hotel room dates too, watching movies and writing music. Are those things that they’ve done before they started dating too? Sure. But they feel different now. The three of them see them as dates, so they are dates. Also, they’re reminiscent of their first ever date so…

Namjoon will never forget their first date. After a full day of confessing and crying, and then a long night of dick sucking and overexcitement and choking, they all fell asleep like a light, not just Yoongi. Actually, Namjoon was the one who fell asleep first. Finished sucking them off, got jerked off and was out. Just out. The exhaustion caught up to him so fast, he can’t remember anything after the orgasms.

The next day, Yoongi and Hoseok went to their separate rooms to get dressed for rehearsals, and Namjoon quickly got dressed too then headed to Jeongguk’s room, remembering Jeongguk asking him to tell him how the confessing went. He knocked on Jeongguk’s door, and it was opened by Taehyung.

“Did I get the wrong room?” Namjoon asked Taehyung, but suddenly Jeongguk emerged behind him.

Now, was Namjoon planning on telling Taehyung about his, Yoongi’s and Hoseok’s relationship update? No. Not yet. Was Namjoon tempted to turn around and come tell Jeongguk at some other time? Yes. But the minute Jeongguk’s eyes focused on Namjoon, Jeongguk’s whole body perking up in anticipation, Namjoon absolutely could not hold back the smile that burst across his face, and while Taehyung looked very confused about it, Jeongguk understood what that smile meant.

Jeongguk gasped, and Namjoon laughed, overwhelmed with such intense joy his eyes actually teared up. ‘It’s good, everything’s okay, it went better than I ever thought it would,’ That’s what Namjoon’s laugh was conveying.

“Oh my god!” Jeongguk exclaimed, ran up to Namjoon and took Namjoon in his arms, lifting Namjoon off the floor and spinning him around, and Namjoon… Namjoon just laughed harder.

When Jeongguk put Namjoon down, they both stood for a moment, smiling at each other. Namjoon felt like the biggest lovesick idiot.

“What the fuck is going on?” Taehyung asked suddenly, laughing.

So, Namjoon told Taehyung about what happened and asked him to not tell the others yet, explained that the three of them want to tell everyone at the same time. Taehyung agreed and kept quiet.

Later that night, after rehearsals finished, Namjoon realized it was going to be slightly more difficult than he anticipated to prepare their first date. He called that morning, and turns out there is no service in the hotel for dates and shit. The chocolate cake, he did order, but that’s about as much as he could do. With an insane amount of determination though, Namjoon prevailed.

On the way home, he called one of their bodyguards and told him he needs to go out to a convenience store. And the bodyguard, confused as he was, was in Namjoon’s room in less than five minutes after Namjoon came back to the hotel, Namjoon’s facemask, sunglasses and cap at the ready. The bodyguard also didn’t ask Namjoon why he was buying strawberries, Nutella, whipped cream, candles, and fake rose petals. Nor did he ask why Namjoon stood contemplating over the stand with the different flavored lubes and condoms for three whole minutes, then picked up red strawberry flavored condoms and raspberry flavored lube.

Namjoon did manage to find balloons, but there was no helium machine in the store, so Namjoon ended up buying a package of regular red balloons, a package of pink balloons and another of red heart balloons. The only thing he didn’t get were flowers. There were no fucking roses. Or any other bouquets. Namjoon almost bought a pot of petunias. 

Back at the hotel room, Namjoon sent a text to Yoongi and Hoseok telling them that he’ll need an extra half hour, and then he got everything settled. Candles were lit, fake petals were scattered, lube and condoms were laid out on the pillows, strawberries washed and placed on the bedside table along with the whipped cream, Nutella and chocolate cake. By the time Yoongi and Hoseok knocked on Namjoon’s door though, Namjoon couldn’t breathe, having blown so many fucking balloons his lungs were on fire and he’d lost feeling in the tips of his fingers from tying the fuckers.

“Ta-da,” Namjoon exclaimed when they came in, then immediately started coughing.

“Holy fuck,” Yoongi exclaimed, and they both hurried into the room and locked the door behind themselves.

How the fuck?” Hoseok asked, walking into the room, tussling the balloons with his legs.

“I told you to not underestimate my romancing abilities,” Namjoon choked out.

There was a moment of silence, and Namjoon watched their shocked expressions feeling both proud and also wanting to giggle.

“I think I’m wet,” Hoseok whispered all of the sudden.

Namjoon and Yoongi let out a shocked laugh, but Hoseok just stood there, blushing crimson with a palm covering his mouth and tears in his eyes.

“Oh, my god, baby,” Namjoon walked up to Hoseok, moved Hoseok’s hand away from his mouth, whispered “I love you so much,” and proceeded to kiss Hoseok senseless.

Hoseok and Yoongi made fun of the flavored lube and condoms, and then they all ate some strawberries with whipped cream and Nutella for as long as they had the patience for. Which was about five minutes. And then they fucked. Sorry. Made love. It was awesome. It was so awesome. So much kissing. So much touching. So soft and romantic. Namjoon was half expecting Yoongi to have another fit about them being too cheesy, but Yoongi did not say a word about it, letting Namjoon be as soft as he fucking wanted. Yoongi would probably never admit it, but Namjoon was very much aware of how much Yoongi was enjoying the cheesy treatment.

The night turned very quickly to Hoseok though, Namjoon and Yoongi taking care of him, kissing him everywhere, sucking his cock together. It felt a little bit like making up for lost time. Yoongi fucked Hoseok first, Namjoon lying beside them and jerking himself off slowly, watching them and kissing Hoseok’s shoulder. They both came together, but Hoseok let Namjoon fuck him anyway, Hoseok’s soft cock slowly filling up again. He took Namjoon’s cock much easier that time around, probably because he already knew what he was getting into, and also because his body was really lax after his first orgasm. Hoseok whimpered a lot, and Namjoon absolutely could not shut up.

“My baby, my gorgeous baby, such a good boy for me, taking me so well,” whispered into Hoseok’s lips, slowly thrusting in and out of him. “I love you so much, baby. So much.”

Hoseok got all teary eyed, and Namjoon is still not sure if it was from physical overstimulation or emotional overstimulation. He came again, this time with Namjoon inside of him and Yoongi kissing him.

There was a while, after they officially started dating, where, every time they did something romantic, whether it be saying ‘I love you’ or going on dates, Hoseok would get this surprised look in his eyes, like he still wasn’t sure if it was all real or not. Both Yoongi and Namjoon caught that look, and they did their best to reassure him that it was very much real – every single time. Three months in, and Hoseok has finally stopped looking at them like that. They’ve gotten used to each other. It feels good.

 

 

 

“Okay,” Yoongi tells Namjoon after rehearsals the next day, sitting down on Namjoon’s bed, Hoseok is taking a shower. “So there are no people working there at night.”

“Are you sure?” Namjoon asks, sitting down close to Yoongi, keeping their voices low even though Namjoon’s pretty sure Hoseok can’t hear them with the water running anyway.

“Yeah, there isn’t supposed to be anyone in there after eight pm at the latest,” Yoongi says. “And the cleaning crew comes in early in the morning, not right after everyone leaves.”

“Okay, that’s good,” Namjoon say. “There’s… there’s a chance that this will happen.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi nods. “What about cameras?”

“There are no cameras on the inside of the arena,” Namjoon says.

“Really?” Yoongi’s eyebrows rise.

“Yeah,” Namjoon nods. “I was asking around, talking to the sound people, the camera people, and then one of them- I think he saw that I was really anxious about cameras and sound all of the sudden, and I’m pretty sure he just thought that I was paranoid, but he was also a super nice guy, so he was like: ‘do you wanna go up into the security room to check out the building’s cameras with me?’ and in my head I went: ‘holy fuck.’ So he took me up to the security room and showed me where the cameras are.”

“And no cameras on the inside?”  Yoongi stresses. 

“No cameras inside the actual arena,” Namjoon nods.

“Why?” Yoongi looks genuinely confused.

“He said there’s no need,” Namjoon says. “That there is nothing that can be easily stolen in there, and there are so many security people and cameras around the actual room of the arena that there’s no point in having cameras on the inside. Nobody’s going to get passed all of that security, somehow break into the arena, steal some huge indoor LED lights and then get back out. He said cameras on the inside would just be a waste of money.”

“Okay…” Yoongi’s eyebrows furrow. “So far, much better than I expected.”

“Yeah, me too,” Namjoon pauses. “There are cameras outside of the arena room though.”

“For sure,” Yoongi says.

“Building is full of them,” Namjoon adds.

“Okay,” Yoongi looks at him pointedly, urging.

“The two doors in the back of the arena where the audience comes in,” Namjoon starts. “There are no cameras on the inside, but there are two cameras looking at those doors from the outside. So if the doors are, for some reason open, the cameras still won’t see us up on stage, but they might hear us,” Namjoon pause, and Yoongi nods. “There are a bunch of cameras scattered in the actual audience-entryway-hall and on the floors above where there are offices and shit. But we don’t need to worry about those. The two cameras looking at the audience entry doors though, so long as the doors are locked, which they should be, then there shouldn’t be a problem with those cameras either.”

“Okay,” Yoongi nods again.

“The cameras on our side. The backstage area,” Namjoon continues. “No cameras in the small dressing rooms, obviously. There is one camera in the main dressing room, but no cameras in the hallways between the main dressing room and the actual stage. So if we manage to get into the main dressing room, we have a clear way onto the stage,” Namjoon takes a breath. “But, there are cameras right outside of the dressing room, and in the waiting rooms, and in the hallways on the way to the dressing room and waiting rooms, all the way to the outside of the building. So, that means that, no matter what way we choose to go into the building, we will be filmed.”

“Still doesn’t sound too bad,” Yoongi says.

Namjoon nods, “There are guards on both sides of the building.”

“Even at night?” Yoongi asks.

“Yeah,” Namjoon answers. “Probably because of the offices in the building. I assume there are people in there at night too, so there have to be night guards, and obviously there are cameras pointed at them,” a pause. “Now, I asked the security guy who took me up to the camera room if… as a hypothetical, we wanted to have a few extra moments to rehearse on the actual stage, without the bustle of all the people around, to… get a feel of the stage and the room and shit like that, does he have the keycode for the backstage area? He said no, that it’s someone else.”

“I know that. I know who,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon’s eyebrows rise. “When I was trying to figure out whether people work there at night or not, they asked me why I was asking, and I also mentioned extra rehearsal time and asked how we could possibly make that happen. They told me that the stage manager can give us permission for extra stage time.”

“Stage manager?” Namjoon asks.

“I don’t know,” Yoongi shrugs. “I didn’t even realize there was a stage manager. She’s some higher-up in the company or something, and only she, the security guards in the entrances, and some of the cleaning people have the keycode for the main dressing room. Now, I have no idea which of the cleaning people have the keycode, so I didn’t see a point in going to look for them, but I did find her.”

“How?” Namjoon asks.

“Convinced one of the employees I was talking to to give me her office number, and just went up there,” Yoongi answers.

“Just like that?” Namjoon asks.

“Just like that,” Yoongi shrugs. “I figured I would tell her that I wanted to get to know her as the stage manager or something. So I knocked. And she opened the door, saw me and squealed.”

“What?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah,” Yoongi nods. “She let out this little tiny squeal, and I… realized that my chances of getting the keycode went up by a hundred. She’s a fan,” Yoongi pauses. “So, with my broken Japanese and her halfway decent Korean, we managed to have a conversation. I took a couple pictures with her, stuff like that. Tried to make a good impression. She said that she wanted to come see us rehearse today, but she couldn’t because of some important meeting. So I won’t be surprised if she shows up at our rehearsals the next couple of days. Which is good.”

“Did you ask for the keycode?” Namjoon asks.

“No,” Yoongi shakes his head. “I was thinking about it, and I think she will give it to me if I ask, but then I realized that we only want to get this ‘extra rehearsal time’ once before the third show. Right? So we’ll have enough time to prepare everything?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon says.

“So, I figured it would be better to ask her permission once right before the third show, and not for every single show, because then that would force us to actually show up there three times at night,” Yoongi reasons. “We’ll have to make an excuse obviously, give her a good enough reason as to why we want that extra time before the third show, but I thought that was best.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Namjoon agrees.

“The big problem,” Yoongi states, “even if we do get that time and everything works out, is that… we’re not gonna be the only people who have access to the stage. The other people with the keycode for the dressing room might show up announced, and there are people with physical keys for the audience entries. So, while we’re on stage, someone might very well walk in, and then we’re fucked.”

There’s a pause, “Pun intended?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes.

Namjoon lets out a breathy laugh, “Yeah, no, you’re right. So, how do we deal with this? What do we do?”

“You know what we have to do,” Yoongi looks at him pointedly.

“We have to ask them for help,” Namjoon says then takes a deep breath.

Yoongi nods, “We need manpower.”

 

 

 

The day after their first date, they gathered everyone together in Seokjin’s room to tell them about their relationship. Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok sat together on the couch. Seokjin, Jeongguk, and Taehyung were on the bed, and Jimin was on the floor with Seokjin’s fingers running through his hair.

“So…” Seokjin prompted when no one said anything.

Jeongguk and Taehyung were already smiling.

“Uh,” Yoongi voiced. “Just wanted to give you an update… about our relationship.”

Jeongguk smiled wider, biting his lower lip. Namjoon had to bow his head because he couldn’t help but smile too.

“We’re dating,” Yoongi stated, and fuck it felt so awesome to hear it. 

Everyone was quiet for a moment.

“So, that was predictable,” Jimin said all of the sudden.

Yoongi facepalmed. He literally slapped his palm against his forehead. Namjoon snorted.

“What?” Jimin started laughing. “It totally was.”

“How?” Yoongi exclaimed. “How was it predictable? Did you all know?”

“I didn’t know,” Taehyung said, shrugging.

I didn’t know either,” Seokjin said.

Jimin snorted, “Blind. These… cuddly-ass hyungs,” he flailed his hands around, pointing them at the three of them, “fucking kissing in the kitchen and kissing in the bathroom. It was written all over you. So fucking sweet y’all gave me fucking cavities.”

Everyone but Yoongi laughed. Yoongi just rolled his eyes.

“This fucking hyung,” Jimin pointed towards Namjoon. “Was so nervous, he came to me for advice.”

Namjoon shushed him loudly, cutting him off. Jimin rolled his eyes.

“I wasn’t gonna say advice on what,” Jimin explained. “So, obviously it was obvious.”

Yoongi looked skeptical, “Wait, advice on what?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Namjoon mumbled, and Jimin snorted.

“Advice on what?” Yoongi repeated, and Hoseok looked curious too.

Namjoon looked away, blushing.

“Bottoming,” Namjoon mumbled.

Yoongi’s jaw dropped, Hoseok’s eyes widened, and Seokjin was clutching his own neck and making gagging sounds.

“You did this to yourself,” Jimin told Namjoon.

“Why?!” Seokjin exclaimed. “Why do I have to know these things?!”

“Oh, grow up,” Yoongi shot.

“Yeah,” Taehyung came to their defense. “Or I’ll tell them about your milf from Mexico.”

Seokjin gasped, “She was not that old.”

“She was like fifty,” Taehyung said.

“She was thirty-six,” Seokjin defended.

“Still old,” Taehyung shrugged. Namjoon was laughing a bit and shaking his head, while Jimin, Hoseok, and Jeongguk were having a full-blown laughing fit

“More like experienced,” Seokjin shot back, and now it was Yoongi’s turn to gag. “Disrespectful.”

Hoseok cleared his throat loudly, bringing attention to himself.

“We’re not just… dating,” Hoseok said. “We’re…” he trailed off.

“In love,” Namjoon supplied.

Jeongguk giggled and cupped his own cheeks, Taehyung smiled, and Seokjin’s eyes widened.

“Oh,” Jimin’s eyebrows rose. “That was fast.”

“Was that expected?” Yoongi asked, voice flat.

“Eventually, yes,” Jimin said. “I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. I figured you’d try… dating first to, you know, see if you… match.”

“We match,” Yoongi stated. Namjoon and Hoseok both smiled.

A pause.

“So… that’s all we wanted to say,” Namjoon announced.

“I’ve been thinking about this actually,” Taehyung said.

“Thinking about it?” Seokjin asked. “You just found out.”

“I found out yesterday morning,” Taehyung said. Both Seokjin and Jimin’s mouths opened, but before they could say anything, Taehyung raised his hand, palm up, and continued. “And I’ve been thinking… Now that we’re on tour, sleeping accommodations are not a problem, right? You just share a room at night. But when we come back, I think we need to change rooms.”

“Really?” Hoseok asked. Namjoon was surprised too.

“Yeah,” Taehyung exclaimed. “If you’re a couple now-“

“Throuple,” Jeongguk interjected, still smiling and clutching his own cheeks.

“Throuple,” Taehyung corrected with a nod. “If you’re a throuple now, then you’ll probably wanna share a room, no?”

The three of them stayed quiet for a second.

“Yeah,” Namjoon ended up saying. Neither Yoongi nor Hoseok protested.

“Then we should change rooms,” Taehyung said simply. “I could move out of mine and Joon’s room, and then we could bring in a bigger bed, and you three could sleep there. And then there will be two empty beds anyway in Jimin and Seokjin hyung’s room, so I could sleep in of those.”

Namjoon can’t say he was expecting that.

“It’s… really,” Hoseok started, “nice of you to offer, but… only if everyone agrees. This is a pretty drastic change… to the way we’ve been living.”

“I can’t say that I won’t miss Hoseokie hyung,” Jimin said. “But, I’m all for your relationship, and I’m all for your relationship being successful, and I think that it would be the right thing for you to do, you know, if you don’t plan on moving to another apartment-“

“We don’t,” Yoongi cut in, and Namjoon nodded. He didn’t even consider that as an option. The group is a top priority, and living together is good for the group, therefore, they’re going to continue living together.

“Not even a consideration,” Hoseok added, and Namjoon nodded again.

Seokjin nodded, “We’ll change rooms. Just please promise that if you have sex while we’re home, you’ll do it quietly.”

“Already have,” Yoongi mumbled while Hoseok said: “We promise no such thing.”

Namjoon laughed at the pained noise that Seokjin made.

“We’ll be quiet,” Namjoon said.

“I can come live in your room,” Jeongguk told Seokjin.

Seokjin squinted, “I will allow you to move in for a trial period and see if you are capable of following the rules.”

“Rules?” Jeongguk asked.

“There are many rules in the room of Sin,” Yoongi deadpanned. “All of which must be followed. Otherwise…”

“Death,” Seokjin finished.

Yoongi nodded seriously.

Jeongguk blinked.

“What the fuck do you two get up to in your room?” Jimin asked.

Yoongi and Seokjin shared a look.

“State secrets must not be revealed,” Yoongi said.

“If, after having learned all the rules, you fail the two-week trial…” Seokjin trailed off.

“Death,” Yoongi said.

Jeongguk’s mouth opened and closed.

Seokjin and Yoongi looked at each other seriously once again, then, at the exact same moment, both of them burst into laughter.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Seokjin said.

“Of course you will,” Yoongi was laughing and blushing, just so beautiful.

“Yah,” Seokjin exclaimed.

“Fine,” Yoongi blushed harder. “I’m gonna miss you too.”

At the end of the day, it was a good talk. They definitely seemed less shocked by the development in their relationship than they were with the news of the three of them having sex. And the offer of changing rooms when they come back from the tour was unexpected and… heartwarming.

 

That same night, apparently in a sharing mood, in Namjoon’s bedroom, Yoongi and Hoseok sat Namjoon down against the headboard of Namjoon’s bed and asked him-

“We wanted to,” Yoongi took a deep breath, cuddling up to Namjoon, “bring something up. Talk. Communicate. All that.”

“Sure,” Namjoon said, slightly suspicious, not sure what that could be about. He pulled Hoseok closer to him, lying next to Namjoon on the opposite side of Yoongi.

“We wanted to talk about you bottoming,” Hoseok said. “We never really… discussed it.”

“Do we need to?” Namjoon asked, not exactly wanting to talk about it but understanding why he should, why it’s important.

Yoongi took a breath like he wanted to say something but then cut himself short, seeming to change his mind.

“Why did you do it?” Yoongi asked. “That night specifically. Why?”

“It wasn’t that night specifically. I mean… it wasn’t as a result of what happened that night,” Namjoon said. “I was planning to ask you for it all day.”

“Really?” Hoseok asked.

“Yeah,” Namjoon answered. “It was still kind of a… rash decision. That’s why I went to Jimin. Didn’t think I had enough time to do proper research about it online, so I went to someone who I knew had the information I needed.”

“Why didn’t you come to one of us?” Yoongi asked.

“Because I still wasn’t one hundred percent sure I would do it,” Namjoon answered. “Didn’t wanna raise your expectations and then chicken out,” and before they could say anything, “and Jimin helped. Was really… nonjudgmental.”

“That’s good,” Yoongi said after a pause. “So… you were planning on it all day, but then, even after what happened at the club-“

Hoseok turned his head away. Shame. Wasn’t difficult to read. Namjoon turned Hoseok’s head back up and kissed him, silently reassuring. Not mad. It wasn’t cheating. Everything’s okay.

“-you decided to go through with it,” Yoongi continued. “Even though we were all kinda shaken, and those weren’t exactly the best of circumstances, and… and you ended up not really enjoying it,” he doesn’t give Namjoon time to protest. “So, why did you go through with it at all?”

Namjoon took a deep breath and decided to just be honest and communicate. There was nothing to hide. Not from them. Vulnerability matters. It’s okay to be vulnerable with people he trusts.

“After you told us about the way you reacted to our first time together,” Namjoon looked at Yoongi. “I saw how… closed off you got. We both saw it. And we decided that we should let you have your space,” Namjoon paused. “But… after giving you space for a little bit and seeing that it wasn’t really doing anything to help you open up, that you were just distancing yourself more, I… got impatient. And nervous. Couldn’t… not do anything. Seeing you distancing yourself like that felt like the absolute worst thing in the world, so I… I was just trying to think of ways to get you to feel safe enough to open up.”

“And you thought bottoming would make me open up?” Yoongi asked.

“I didn’t realize that what you were hiding was that you had feelings for us,” Namjoon said. “If I had known that’s what it was, then I would have known that me bottoming would never have helped. But… yeah, I- I thought that if I did something that made me feel vulnerable, it would have shown you that it’s… okay to be vulnerable with us, that… crying was okay and sharing your feelings was okay. And that maybe that would have made you open up,” Namjoon paused, kissed Hoseok’s forehead. “And then we went to the club and… and the problems were suddenly a bit bigger than just you being closed off. And… I didn’t know what to do and how to fix things, and bottoming was the plan I had before, and it was the only plan I had at all. So I just… went with it. Even though I knew that it wouldn’t fix things. I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. Not the right time.”

“You don’t always have to be the one to fix things,” Yoongi said gently.

“I know,” Namjoon smiled. “Can’t help it.”

“So…” Yoongi’s eyebrows furrowed. “When I asked you if you would ever do it again, and you said that you would if we wanted you to…”

“I mean, I-“ Namjoon tried. “I did mean it.”

“We never wanna do things to you that you don’t like,” Hoseok said, catching Namjoon’s gaze.

“Yeah,” Namjoon nodded. “I know.”

Yoongi kissed Namjoon on the lips, short and loving.

“You told me that you did like it towards the end,” Yoongi said when they separated.

“Towards the very end, yeah,” Namjoon nodded. “But I think I was getting off more on you jerking me off than I was on the actual fucking. I did like the… moments when you touched my prostate, that felt good. But, I didn’t like the stretch and the pain and the…” Namjoon paused. “It kinda felt like having a rod shoved up my ass.”

“Joon,” Yoongi breathed, almost like he was scandalized. Namjoon figured Yoongi was more scandalized with the knowledge of how Namjoon felt than the actual wording of it.

“Sorry,” Namjoon mumbled.

“No, no sorrys,” Yoongi said, cupping Namjoon’s cheek. “I’m glad you’re telling us.”

“What if we get you a prostate massager?” Hoseok exclaimed suddenly, rising up onto his elbow, looming over Namjoon and Yoongi.

“What is that?” Namjoon asked.

“It’s a sex toy,” Hoseok answered, smiling, suddenly so incredibly excited. “It’s the kind of sex toy where you just… you insert it, and it’s like a plug, but it’s curved so it rests right up against your prostate. And it’s… well, there are thick ones but there are also really thin ones,” he takes a breath. “There’s still probably gonna be a little bit of pain, of the initial insertion and stretch, but the base of the massager is really, really thin, so there isn’t… continuous stretch. Like, it’s not supposed to hurt, it’s just supposed to milk the crap out of your prostate.”

“Huh,” Namjoon exhaled. “That… doesn’t sound half bad.”

“Sounds like a great idea actually,” Yoongi exclaimed.

“But,” Namjoon’s eyebrows furrowed, “if one of you isn’t fucking me… what’s the point?”              

There was a pause where Yoongi and Hoseok just looked at each other.

“The point,” Yoongi said, with a tone that made Namjoon feel a little young, like the answer was obvious, “is making you feel good.”

“But-“ Namjoon began protesting before Yoongi cut him off.

“No buts,” Yoongi said. “You’re all about… giving us pleasure, we know that. We know you get off on it. But we also like making you feel good,” Hoseok nodded. “You feeling good makes us feel good too.”

It was a bit hard to argue with that.

 

Namjoon had honestly forgotten about their prostate-massager-talk until, exactly a week later, Yoongi and Hoseok, smiling in a way that Namjoon could only describe as mischievous, presented him with a wrapped gift box.

“What is this for?” Namjoon smiled, taking the box away from Hoseok’s hands.

“Open it,” Hoseok urged.

He opened it. He could recognize that it was some kind of sex toy. He could read the words ‘prostate massager with velvet-touch silicone’ on the box, but he had no idea how to react to it.

How did you get this?” Namjoon ended up asking.

“Got it delivered to the hotel,” Yoongi said. “Came in a totally discreet package, and all we had to do was let the front desk know it was coming and then go take it.”

“And you’re sure it was discreet?” Namjoon asked.

“Yup,” Yoongi smiled. “Came all wrapped up, completely unrecognizable.”

“And you wanna…” Namjoon let the question hang.

We wanna,” Hoseok said. “The question is… do you wanna?”

He opened the box and inspected the toy. Black and red. The part that’s supposed to be inserted really was quite small, both in length and in girth, slightly curved with a wider part a little above the middle and a round head. The base of it really was thin. No prolonged stretch to the rim. From the base, a curved handle split in two directions, one side red, the other black with a red dot. Namjoon was not sure why the handle was shaped the way that it was, but of all the anal sex toys he’s seen in his life, this one seemed quite harmless.

And that’s how Namjoon ended up on his back with his legs spread, cock lying hard on his stomach after getting blown by Hoseok and fingering Yoongi, Yoongi between Namjoon’s legs, Hoseok at Namjoon’s side, with Yoongi holding the massager and Hoseok holding the lube.

“Just,” Namjoon breathed when Hoseok was coating the toy in lube. They stopped and looked at him. “Don’t… expect me to like it, okay? Because I really might not.”

“We’re not expecting anything,” Yoongi said, and both of them smiled gently. “The whole point is you enjoying it. If you don’t, we stop, and that’s totally fine.”

Namjoon nodded and took a deep breath. He felt so much better that time around about the whole idea of bottoming. It could have been because he already knew what it felt like, but most likely it was because he was just… happy with them. He was calmer. He felt safer, like it was the right time.

Hoseok’s hand wrapped around Namjoon’s cock and stroked, keeping Namjoon perfectly hard.

“I’m ready,” Namjoon said and took another deep breath.

There was still pain, but, even at the widest part, the toy was no bigger than two fingers, so there really wasn’t all that much pain. It wasn’t the greatest feeling in the world regardless, but at least it didn’t hurt. Namjoon breathed through it, hissed when the widest part stretched him, registered Yoongi and Hoseok’s concerned looks, forced himself to relax and nodded to encourage Yoongi to push in more. When the toy was finally all the way inside, Namjoon clamped around it and-

“Wow,” Namjoon breathed, his eyes widening, all of his muscles tensing, his hips twitching up.

It was so on his prostate, directly on it. And that handle, that weird fucking handle with the little red dot on it was up under his balls, on his taint, and it felt like the thing was pressing onto Namjoon’s prostate from the outside too.

“Wow,” Namjoon repeated, shocked by his own body’s reaction. Definitely didn’t go soft that time.

“Good?” Yoongi’s eyes widened, both of his hands coming up to Namjoon’s thighs, letting the toy do its thing inside Namjoon.

Namjoon nodded, accidentally squeezed the toy and whimpered when it pressed itself even harder to his prostate.

That good?” Hoseok whispered, his hand slowing down on Namjoon’s shaft.

Namjoon could feel his cheeks warming, his chest flushing, toes curling. It was like a pleasure that never ended, constantly on Namjoon’s prostate. Any minuscule movement Namjoon made had the toy pushing harder both from the inside and the outside. When the toy pressed a bit too hard, Namjoon’s whole body twitched.

“What was the question?” Namjoon asked, trying to focus.

Yoongi and Hoseok both laughed breathily, their smiles so big, it made Namjoon smile. And clench. And whimper.

“Fuck,” Yoongi exhaled and leaned down to kiss Namjoon on the lips, Hoseok’s hand falling away from Namjoon’s cock. Namjoon tried to reciprocate, he really did, but his mouth was in a permanent state of gasping. “Whimpering looks good on you.”

And Namjoon’s body, being the betrayer that it is, clenched again, and made Namjoon whimper.

“Holy shit,” Hoseok’s smile widened.

“Listen,” Namjoon suddenly recovered the ability to speak. “I am very genuinely worried right now that I might come too fast, so if you want me to fuck you…” Namjoon clenched again and promptly forgot the very intelligent sentence he was going to say. “Move.”

“Do you think you can come just from this?” Hoseok asked, wonder in his voice.

“I have no fucking idea,” Namjoon shook his head. “But I don’t want to.”

“What do you want?” Yoongi asked, teasing smile on his face.

“I wanna-“ Namjoon started, clenched, whimpered, blanked. “Fuck.”

Yoongi laughed, “You wanna fuck?”

“What?” Namjoon asked. “Uh, yes.”

Hoseok and Yoongi both laughed that time, and Namjoon blushed, yes, he did, but he was also busy leaking precome onto his stomach, entirely shocked at what his body was doing.

Yoongi moved away from between Namjoon’s thighs, and Namjoon laid his legs flat onto the bed, unwinding when the toy shifted away slightly.

“Okay,” Namjoon braced his hands on the mattress. “I’m gonna get up and-“ Namjoon pushed himself up, the toy pressed harder, and Namjoon flopped back down. “Nope,” Namjoon shook his head. “Can’t.”

“Just lie down,” Hoseok pushed Namjoon into the mattress, smiling wide as Namjoon calmed his breathing.

“Give me the lube,” Yoongi told Hoseok, and Hoseok let go of Namjoon’s shoulders and handed the lube to Yoongi.

“Yeah, so I’m feeling a bit useless,” Namjoon commented.

Hoseok took Namjoon’s arm and wrapped Namjoon’s palm around his cock.

“Okay, slightly less useless,” Namjoon said, stroking Hoseok. He still felt like he should be doing more, but the toy was so insistent, Namjoon couldn’t think properly.

“God, I love you,” Yoongi exclaimed, shaking his head and straddling Namjoon’s thighs, pouring some lube onto his palm. “You just take care of Seok,” Yoongi stroked Namjoon’s cock with his lubed hand, then bent down and dropped a kiss onto Namjoon’s lips. “And I’m gonna ride your big, beautiful, fat cock, okay?”

“Sure,” Namjoon smiled. He smiled wide. Yoongi scooted forward and braced himself above Namjoon’s cock. “Wait, no condom?”

Yoongi looked Namjoon in the eyes and shook his head.

“That big load that you’re about to shoot,” Yoongi started. “I want it in me.”

“Fuck,” Namjoon whispered.

“I want it to fill me up,” Yoongi said, sinking down onto Namjoon’s length with a grunt. “Want it leaking down my thighs.”

Hoseok’s eyes widened, and Namjoon remembered suddenly that he’s supposed to be jerking Hoseok off.

“We’ve been having so much slow cheesy sex lately, I forgot how dirty you can be,” Hoseok said.

Yoongi smirked, sitting down fully on Namjoon’s cock and rolling his hips in little circles, making the toy shift inside Namjoon, Namjoon’s hips twitching up into Yoongi. He built up the speed quickly, fucking himself down on Namjoon’s cock hard, and, every time his hips would slap against Namjoon’s thighs, the toy would move, and Namjoon would whimper and pray that he wouldn’t come too fast.

He did end up coming far too fast, but fascinatingly, after the first orgasm, his cock did not soften in the slightest. If anything, it got harder. Namjoon’s whole body was tense. His prostate was more sensitive than it’s ever been, every thrust made him feel like he was still coming, but he was more in control than before. So, he let go of Hoseok, grabbed Yoongi’s hips and fucked Yoongi hard. And all Yoongi seemed to be able to do was hold on.

Hoseok jerked Yoongi as Namjoon was fucking him, and Namjoon came again at about the same time Yoongi did, filling Yoongi for a second time. Then, the two of them got Hoseok off with their hands.

It was good. Different but good. Though as much as Namjoon enjoyed the toy, and he really did, they rarely use it. At the end of the day, Namjoon found that he still gets off much more on giving them pleasure than he does on them giving it to him. He likes knowing that they enjoy giving him pleasure too though. There is something… validating about it, like they understand him.

 

 

 

“No, hell no, I’m not doing it,” Seokjin says after Namjoon and Yoongi tell him their plan.

They’ve gathered everyone in Seokjin’s hotel room. Each of them found the same seat they had when Yoongi, Namjoon, and Hoseok told them about their relationship, with Jeongguk, Seokjin and Taehyung on the bed and Jimin on the floor. The only difference is that this time, Hoseok isn’t on the couch with Yoongi and Namjoon.

“Oh, come on,” Yoongi exclaims.

“No,” Seokjin asserts.

“Well, I’m game,” Jimin says suddenly.

“Really?” Namjoon asks. He was kind of expecting more struggle, having to convince them. He was expecting a reaction like Seokjin’s.

“Of course I’m game,” Jimin shrugs. “This is such an awesome birthday present.”

“An awesome birthday present?” Seokjin asks. “Are you kidding?”

“Hell no,” Jimin looks up at Seokjin. “This is a great idea.”

Seokjin opens his mouth and closes it, looking scandalized.

“What do you think?” Jimin asks Taehyung and Jeongguk.

“If you think this’ll make Hoseok hyung happy,” Jeongguk starts, “then I’ll do it.”

“I don’t see why not do it,” Taehyung says. “Other than… it’s crazy.”

“We’ve figured out almost everything,” Yoongi explains. “Cameras, guards, keys. We just need you to man the doors and let us know if anyone’s coming.”

“You have all lost your minds,” Seokjin says. “We are going to get caught. And even if we won’t, I don’t wanna be there, it’s gross.”

“We’re not asking you to watch,” Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“We only need you to stand at the door for like, half an hour,” Namjoon adds.

Seokjin sighs, “But eww.”

“Oh, please,” Jimin turns to Seokjin. “As if you’ve never fantasized about doing it before.”

Seokjin takes a breath and opens his mouth, then promptly closes it again.

“Exactly,” Jimin raises his eyebrows. “I, for one, am going to be living my own fantasy that will never come true, vicariously through the three of you.”

Taehyung purses his lips, “Me too actually. Yup. Definitely.”

“Just agree,” Yoongi says, looking at Seokjin.

There’s a pause. Seokjin looks like he’s struggling.

“Fine,” Seokjin pouts. “But you each owe me two lobsters at a restaurant.”

“This is a gift for Seok, and you expect us to pay for it with lobsters?” Yoongi squints.

“Yes,” Seokjin asserts.

“That’s fine by me,” Namjoon says. This was much easier than he expected.

And after a pause, Yoongi adds, “Fine.”

“Good,” Seokjin sticks his chin out. “Now let’s just hope I don’t vomit in there.”

“What exactly do you need us to do?” Taehyung asks.

“Okay,” Namjoon leans forward in his seat. “You’re each going to have a role…”

 

 

 

After the whole session with the prostate massager and seeing just how well it was to talk about perhaps slightly uncomfortable sex topics, Namjoon remembered that he needed to talk to Yoongi and Hoseok about the whole “spacing out” thing they do during sex. He’d been contemplating about it for a while at that point. Should he talk to them? Should he not? Hoseok’s always been one to space out after orgasming, so what if that one time he spaced out a little more? And, at that point, Yoongi hasn’t spaced out once after his session with Namjoon. So, was there really a point in bringing it up?

Namjoon knew the answer was yes. He was just worried that he might make the two of them uncomfortable with it. Especially Yoongi. Yoongi reached a whole new level of vulnerability then. Namjoon was honestly scared that talking about it would end with more tears. It did hit Namjoon, after a while, that his worry for them wasn’t the only reason he was reluctant to bring the subject up. It was also because he felt completely unprepared. Lacking in knowledge. So, he listened to his own advice and went to Jimin again. Well, he didn’t directly seek Jimin out, he just ended up walking alone with Jimin back to their hotel, remembered just how awesome Jimin was about Namjoon’s need for sexual advice before, and decided to use the opportunity.

When they got to their floor at the hotel and Jimin opened the door to his room, Namjoon paused behind him.

“Do you wanna…” Jimin asked Namjoon from the doorway to his room, “come in?”

“Can I ask you for more advice?” Namjoon spit out, and Jimin smiled really happily.

“Step into my classroom,” Jimin said, moving aside and motioned for Namjoon to come in.  

Namjoon walked in, and Jimin closed the door behind them.

“Professor Jimin,” Jimin said, placing a palm on his hip and pushing up imaginary glasses. “Gay sex one-o’-one,” he raised his eyebrows. “At your service.”

Namjoon smiled.

“This isn’t specifically about gay sex,” Namjoon said. “Not like last time.”

Jimin hummed and dropped down onto the bed. Namjoon sat next to him.

“Have any of the people you had sex with ever gone… nonverbal on you?” Namjoon asked.

“Nonverbal?” Jimin asked.

“Like, couldn’t talk,” Namjoon explained.

“I know what nonverbal means,” Jimin shook his head, smiling. “I just don’t- one of them just- what, stopped talking?”

“It was more than ‘stopped’,” Namjoon said. “It was like he couldn’t. Like his language functions just went fuck all.”

Jimin’s eyes squinted, his lips opening and staying open for a moment.

“Was there anything… else that was weird or different?” Jimin asked. “Something that accompanied this language function loss?”

Namjoon thought back.

“Well, he was quite…” Namjoon started. “He was acting very… pliant? It was right after we told each other that we love each other-“

“Aww,” Jimin interjected.

Namjoon laughed bashfully, “So it was right after that,” Namjoon continued, “and we were really emotional, and he was…” Namjoon can’t seem to find the right word. “He was really… loose-limbed, and…”

“Submissive?” Jimin offered.

A pause, “That’s- yeah, that’s actually a really good word for it.”

Jimin hummed, “So you said pliant, loose-limbed, submissive… Would you say he was… spacing out?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon exclaimed. He probably should have started with ‘spacing out’. “But they both have these sort of… spacing out moments,” Hoseok more than Yoongi, but Yoongi spaces out a little every time Namjoon rims him too. “This was- this was very… extreme. Actually, there was a pretty extreme moment with Hoseok too with the spacing out.”

Jimin’s eyebrows rose and lips pursed, and Namjoon realized he accidentally forgot to be vague for a second.

“Pretend you didn’t hear that,” Namjoon mumbled.

“Sure,” Jimin nodded. “So… submissive… spacing out…” he looked at Namjoon like Namjoon was missing something. “Does it not ring a bell yet?”

Namjoon shook his head, eyebrows furrowing.

“Have you ever heard of subspace?” Jimin asked.

“No,” Namjoon’s eyebrows furrowed even deeper.

“I think you should look it up,” Jimin said.

“What is it?” Namjoon insisted. Better to look it up with some prior knowledge, to filter out the bullshit more easily.

“I don’t know too much about it,” Jimin said. “It’s never happened to me, but one of the guys I had sex with a long time ago warned me that it might happen to him,” he paused, and Namjoon waited for him to continue. “I was- we were… foreplay, you know? And I was telling him all the things that I was gonna do to him, and he, in response, said that if I was gonna do the things that I was saying I was going to do, he might go into subspace. And I didn’t know what it was, so I asked him, and he gave me a half-assed explanation, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t actually go into subspace, but I did look it up afterward. To be more informed.”

Namjoon nodded, “So, what is it?”

“It’s a… well, it’s different for every submissive,” Jimin explained. “But it’s… a kind of headspace- usually a floaty… spaced out kind of headspace that a submissive goes into during bdsm.”

“But we weren’t…” Namjoon thought back again. “We weren’t doing anything bdsm. With either of them.”

“Just-“ Jimin’s eyes squinted, “-are you sure you’re not confusing bdsm with s&m?”

Namjoon blinked at him, “I don’t think so. I wasn’t talking just about pain. I didn’t tie them up or… do anything… like that to them either.”

Jimin pursed his lips, thinking. “Well… you know, bdsm is different for everyone. Someone might find spanking to be really extreme, and, for someone else, spanking is a casual thing during sex, and… whipping would be the extreme thing for them. So… maybe it wasn’t… an obvious bdsm act, but one that was… extreme for them.”

“Huh,” Namjoon exhaled.

“Try to think about things that you were doing differently with them,” Jimin said. “Limits that might have been pushed. Pain… maybe restraint of some kind… power dynamics being more distinct. Anything bdsm-ish.”

“Huh,” Namjoon repeated, already thinking.

There was silence for a moment too long.

“Listen,” Jimin said, and Namjoon looked up. “I wish I could tell you more, but I really don’t know enough about the subject. Look it up, read about it, talk to them. Maybe you can even look it up together.”

“That’s a- yeah, that’s a good idea,” Namjoon said. “Thank you.”

Jimin smiled, “Don’t need to thank me.”

“Thank you anyway,” Namjoon insisted. “You’re really… chill about all of this. I appreciate that.”

Jimin ducked his head and smiled shyly, “Anytime.”

 

Namjoon didn’t end up going to them with it right away. He took the time that he had alone in his hotel room while they were out and used it to look up subspace and everything to do with it. There was a lot more to learn than he realized, and he spent a good few hours filing different terms into his mind. Subspace, subdrop, aftercare, domspace, domdrop, scene, the safe-word stoplight system and a whole lot more. Even so, there wasn’t nearly as much information and research on the subjects as he would have liked. Still, the entire time he was reading, he was thinking about Yoongi and Hoseok and how everything might relate to them, and by the time the two of them came back, he felt much more ready to talk to them about it.

The subject came up more or less in the same way that the subject of Namjoon bottoming was brought up, with Namjoon sitting Yoongi and Hoseok down and asking them about it straight on. They took it just fine. No tears. Only simple understanding. A little while went into explicitly telling Hoseok about what happened with Yoongi and explicitly telling Yoongi what happened with Hoseok, but after they were all caught up, Namjoon asked them if they knew anything about subspace. Yoongi nodded and said that he didn’t know that much, and Hoseok simply shook his head. Which lead Namjoon into giving them a speech with the shorter version of his research. 

“So, you think- what,” Hoseok said, “I regularly go into subspace?”

“Hard to tell,” Namjoon answered. “I mean, from the very first time that we had sex, you would go a little spaced out at the end, and I don’t think it was subspace back then, so… it’s hard to tell with you when it’s subspace and when it’s just…”

“I…” Hoseok started and paused, seeming to think. “I think I might have gone into subspace when we were alone, but I don’t think it happens all that often,” his eyebrows furrowed. “I mean, I’ve always gone a little woozy after a good orgasm, and, with you, every orgasm is a good orgasm,” he laughed breathily. “So, I don’t know, I- I guess I can’t really tell either.”

“What surprised me the most,” Yoongi started, “when I came back to you, is that, even a while after you guys were done, you seemed a little… woozy still. Like, it seemed like it took you a lot longer to come down from it.”

“Huh,” Hoseok breathed. “Maybe.”

“Do you know… what might have been the trigger for it?” Namjoon asked. “Why did it happen that time and not other times?”

“Umm… well, you were a lot less gentle with me that time,” Hoseok said. “Maybe that’s why it happened. You were also… pushing my body a lot. Like, I felt physically exhausted after we were done. Also, my throat hurt for a long time after it was over.”

“And you said he was a lot more controlling,” Yoongi added. “More dominant.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok said. “Felt really good to have you push me like that.”

Namjoon hummed, filing away the information, “Okay. So you enjoyed it. Subspace.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok nodded.

“And you’d wanna try to get there again,” Namjoon said.

“Yeah,” Hoseok repeated.

“Okay,” Namjoon said.

“What about you?” Hoseok asked, turning to Yoongi. “Would you wanna try to get there again?”

Yoongi bit his lower lip and didn’t do anything for a second. Then, he nodded.

“I knew it was subspace,” Yoongi said. “And I knew that we should talk about it, but I didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“You knew?” Namjoon asked.

“Not in the moment, I didn’t know anything in the moment,” Yoongi clarified. “But afterward, yeah, once I thought about it a little bit, it clicked.”

“When did you learn about subspace?” Namjoon asked.

“Back when I was with Nate,” Yoongi answered. “I told you about how the first time I had sex with Nate, I had trouble taking him because he was so big, and our solution was for him to rim me and for me to come, and then my body was so relaxed he was able to actually fuck me.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon remembered.

“So, we would do that a lot,” Yoongi said. “He would rim me and then fuck me. And… you know how I get with rimming.”

Pliant. Quiet. Submissive.

“Yeah,” Namjoon nodded. Hoseok nodded too.

“So the way that I was so….” Yoongi paused. “I guess submissive is a good word. The way I was so submissive with him, and the way that my body reacted to him, was new to me. That sort of… pliancy. So I looked it up and came across subspace. Though I can’t say I read too much about it. Not nearly as much as you did.”

“So you going into subspace with me,” Namjoon said, “that wasn’t your first time?”

“No, it was the first time,” Yoongi nodded. “I wasn’t actually going into subspace with Nate. It was… really different with Nate.”

“How?” Hoseok asked.

“It was kinda… the opposite with him,” Yoongi said, and, probably seeing the confusion on Namjoon and Hoseok’s faces, he continued. “I’ve been thinking about this for quite a while now. My… sex journey with Nate was entirely different than with you guys. With Nate, I- I started off submissive. Sort of. I didn’t… choose to be submissive with him. It was more like I was… thrust into it. With the constant rimming. Oh, that made it sound like it wasn’t consensual,” Yoongi grimaced. “It totally was. I loved having sex with him, and I liked the rimming a lot. But,” he sighed. “And you know this. I have a very strong physical reaction to rimming, and we were doing it all the time. So, I would have that strong physical reaction all the time, and it would make me woozy and sluggish, and, by consequence, I would take the more submissive role.”

“But you didn’t... feel submissive?” Hoseok asked.

“Not mentally, no,” Yoongi shook his head. “When I spaced out with Joon, it felt like I completely disconnected. It felt like I was asleep and dreaming. My head emptied out completely. I had no concerns about anything at all. That’s never happened to me before. With Nate, I was always aware. With Nate… having been put in the submissive position just because of circumstance, I felt like, every time I had sex with him, I would try to take the dominant role back.”

“Try to take back control?” Hoseok asked when Yoongi paused.

“Yeah,” Yoongi said. “And over time, I did. I learned. I learned how to take him. I learned that I was good at it. I learned that I liked the pain of it. He didn’t have to rim me anymore for me to take him. And once he stopped rimming me, I felt a lot more in control. He would get two fingers in me, or I would do it to myself, and I’d take him. No problem. I retook control. With you guys…” Yoongi trailed off for a moment, “it was the other way around.”

“You started off a lot more in control,” Namjoon said.

“Yeah,” Yoongi nodded. “I started off more dominant, but as time went on, because I trusted you more, I… let go of control a little. I allowed myself to be more submissive. Didn’t even realize it was something I wanted at first, but once I did, I felt okay with it. It wasn’t circumstance that made me submissive with you, it was choice. In that moment, when you told me to let go,” he looked at Namjoon. “I let go because I wanted to, because I felt safe enough to do it.”

“You think that the thing that triggered it for you was confessing to Joon?” Hoseok asked.

“I don’t know,” Yoongi shrugged. “I think it was a mix of a few things. Maybe confessing. Being so emotionally overwhelmed by… both positive emotion because Joon felt it back, and negative emotion because I didn’t know if you felt it back yet. Maybe it was the fact that I couldn’t really move too much. Being restrained physically,” he turned to Namjoon. “Maybe because of the way you were talking to me-“

“The praise?” Namjoon interjected.

“More than the praise,” Yoongi’s eyebrows furrowed. “You were telling me what to do, ordering me around. Being… very obviously dominant. There was also… quite a bit of pain just from the penetration. I wasn’t really prepped-“

“You didn’t let me,” Namjoon said softly, interjecting again.

“I know,” Yoongi smiled gently. “I wasn’t saying that as a bad thing. I just meant that the pain might have been a factor for the… subspace. And… you just- you were so deep so fast, it took my breath away. Literally. I couldn’t breathe. Maybe the lack of oxygen just got to my head,” he laughed.

“But-“ Namjoon started and stopped. “Being in that headspace… being completely disconnected like that… was it really a good feeling?”

Yoongi smiled, “It was an amazing feeling. I felt… unburdened like I never have before. Flooded with this feeling of safety… and love. It was like these emotions took over everything. Safety was the only thing I knew in that moment.”

Namjoon and Hoseok smiled.

“That is not to say that all the other sex we had before was bad,” Yoongi rushed to add. “It was amazing!” Namjoon laughed breathily. “This was just… different.”

“We’ll try again,” Namjoon smiled and took Yoongi’s hand in his.

 

And try they did. With both of them. After deciding on a safe-word – kimchi, nothing kills the mood faster than someone yelling kimchi – they started trying. Getting Hoseok into subspace turned out easier than they thought. It was like once Hoseok knew what was happening and where they were heading, he was able to get there much more easily.

The first time Namjoon and Yoongi got Hoseok into subspace together, it was with Hoseok on his hands and knees, Yoongi fucking him from behind, and Namjoon fucking his mouth again. Both Yoongi and Namjoon were lavishing Hoseok with praise – Namjoon couldn’t shut up, Yoongi was slightly more reserved, and Hoseok’s eyes were rolled back almost the entire time they were fucking. God, Hoseok was so gorgeous like that.

Namjoon was learning his own headspace back then too, slightly letting go but also trusting himself to be in control enough to notice if something was wrong. So, he allowed himself to be a little more dominant with Hoseok this time than he was the time before. Since Hoseok’s mouth was occupied and the safe-word wouldn’t have been a viable option, Namjoon asked Hoseok to pinch Namjoon’s thigh once if he was going too hard and pinch it twice if he needed to safe-word out. That time, Namjoon really pushed Hoseok’s head down on his cock, really controlled Hoseok’s movements. Hoseok didn’t pinch Namjoon once, but Namjoon made sure to check on him regardless.

“Are you doing okay, baby?” said when Hoseok started crying after choking, answered by a croaked “Yeah” from Hoseok.

“Good boy,” said when Hoseok took Namjoon’s entire cock down his throat. “So good for us, yeah?” asked when Hoseok came back up for air, answered by a frantic nod from Hoseok.

“That’s it, Seok, you’re doing such a good job,” whispered by Yoongi when he glanced over to see Hoseok’s mouth around the very base of Namjoon’s cock. “I’m so, so proud of you, baby.”

Namjoon came onto Hoseok’s tongue and cheeks, Yoongi came inside Hoseok, and Hoseok came when Namjoon told him to, right before Yoongi. He was spaced out for half an hour afterward. He talked, he could walk, but he wasn’t fully there with them. Yoongi held Hoseok and whispered about how much he loves Hoseok, how very good Hoseok was for them, how Hoseok did such an amazing job, how proud Yoongi was of him, how beautiful and good he was. And Hoseok, his eyes glazed over, looked at Yoongi and nodded and said: “thank you,” and: “I’m good for you,” and: “I’ll be good for you.” Namjoon cleaned both of them with a smile on his face, then he and Yoongi both held Hoseok until Hoseok fell asleep in their arms.

At this point, Namjoon knows what gets Hoseok into subspace. Praise. Being told what to do. Creating conditions for him to be good – “Are you gonna be good for me and let Yoongi fuck you harder?” Hoseok seems to want to earn the praise. He doesn’t need to earn the praise for Namjoon to give it to him, but forming the praise as a conditional seems to make him feel more submissive.

That, and pushing his body, whether that be Namjoon fucking his throat or Yoongi drilling into his ass. Both work, separately or together. Namjoon thought, for a moment, that him fucking Hoseok would have the same effect, taking Namjoon’s cock definitely pushes Hoseok’s body, but it didn’t. Namjoon guesses it has to do with the speed. Namjoon can’t fuck Hoseok quickly, it has to be slow to not hurt him. It’s definitely not something Namjoon feels like complaining about though. Fucking Hoseok slow and deep while looking into his eyes and telling him he loves him? Yeah, Namjoon likes that. He likes it a lot.

Yoongi… Yoongi’s subspace was much harder to reach for the second time. They couldn’t figure out what got him there, what triggered that response from him. Couldn’t seem to recreate the same conditions even though they tried. And they really did try. But trying only made Yoongi nervous about it… which only made it worse.

The one time they actively tried to get Yoongi into subspace was when Yoongi asked for it. It was about a month and a half after they started dating, and Yoongi, very tentatively, with his cheeks pink, asked them if they wanted to try it with him. The way he asked for it made Namjoon’s heart clench. They agreed. Of course they agreed. And they tried.

Yoongi told them he wanted to try it in the same position that normally works for Hoseok – on his hands and knees, but with Namjoon fucking his ass and Hoseok fucking his mouth. He wanted to go with little prep – same as last time, and for Namjoon to sink in really deep really fast – same as last time, and for Namjoon to hold his hips in place and not let him move – same as last time. So, that’s what Namjoon did, adding to it some praise, some instruction.

It didn’t work. Namjoon could tell it was not working. The conditions weren’t right, Yoongi was not anywhere near the same headspace as last time. He was too in control, Namjoon could feel it. But, with Yoongi being so explicit about what he wanted and how he thought it would work, Namjoon didn’t try to change what they were doing, thinking that Yoongi knew better what he needed. Yoongi got really frustrated after a while though. He didn’t safe-word out, but he did take his mouth off Hoseok and ask them to stop. Namjoon pulled out of him.

“I can’t,” Yoongi whispered, sitting back on his heels and shaking his head. “It’s not working, I can’t.”

Namjoon cupped Yoongi’s cheek, “It’s okay.”

Yoongi frowned, and Hoseok came closer and hugged him.

“I wanted it to work so badly,” Yoongi whispered.

“You were thinking about it too much,” Hoseok said. “I could tell.”

“Of course I was thinking about it,” Yoongi nuzzled his nose into Hoseok’s shoulder, and Hoseok rubbed Yoongi’s back. “We were trying. How could I not think about it?”

Namjoon saw the two of them holding each other and had to fight himself to not say: ‘my beautiful babies. Look at you taking care of each other, being so good for each other.’

“You have to not think about it,” Hoseok said, kissing the top of Yoongi’s head. Yoongi’s cock was softening between his legs. “You have to let go for it to work. The harder you’ll try, the less chances there are that you’ll get there.”

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi breathed and hid his face in Hoseok’s chest. “I ruined it.”

“You didn’t,” Namjoon hugged Yoongi too. “You were perfect.”

“I wasn’t,” Yoongi whispered.

“You were,” Namjoon insisted, but Yoongi just shook his head.

Namjoon placed his fingers gently under Yoongi’s chin and made Yoongi look up at him. He had Hoseok’s words in his head. ‘You have to let go for it to work’. That’s exactly what it was that got Yoongi into subspace last time – Namjoon telling him to let go. Of course what they were doing wouldn’t work. It would never work so long as they were actively trying.

“Remember when you told us that sex before you went into subspace for the first time was amazing?” Namjoon asked, and Yoongi nodded. “Do you still think that way?”

“Of course,” Yoongi answered.

“Then how about we don’t try to get you into subspace?” Namjoon asked. Yoongi looked confused. “I don’t want you to be nervous during sex. I don’t want you thinking about subspace. I don’t want you thinking about sex as something that has a goal. Subspace shouldn’t be a goal if you enjoy sex without it, okay?”

Yoongi nodded.

“We’ll stop trying,” Namjoon said. “We’ll let it happen naturally, okay? Without you thinking about it. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t-“

“It doesn’t,” Yoongi finished, smiling a bit, relief so clearly washing over his face.

“And we’ll keep talking about it as much as you want to,” Namjoon added, and Yoongi nodded again.

After a few more moment of just holding him, Yoongi laid both of them onto their backs and sucked their cocks, rubbing himself off on Hoseok’s thigh. He looked like he needed it. Needed the control. Namjoon was happy to let him have it.

 

Yoongi ended up going into subspace after one of their shows. There was a problem with his track during the solo song. It stopped mid-song. Twice. Yoongi handled it amazingly, kept going, got the audience engaged, kept rapping and doing the choreography with the audience’s help. Namjoon was watching him from the side of the stage. There was a smile on Yoongi’s face throughout the entire song, even during the stops. He looked in control. He looked confident. He looked absolutely fine. But the second he came off stage, he was on the ground, panting, makeup noonas surrounding him and drying off the excessive amount of sweat on his face and neck.

Namjoon knelt down beside him and tried to help him calm down. Yoongi insisted he was fine, that he knew he dealt with it well, that Namjoon has nothing to worry about. He took two deep breaths and got back up, calm as ever, ready to go on with the show. The thing is, Yoongi really was fine. Both during and after the performance. Namjoon was watching him, making sure that he wasn’t freaking out, and, as far as Namjoon could see, he really wasn’t. 

During the drive back, sharing the car with Seokjin and Jimin, Yoongi openly told them: “I almost shit myself for a second there. Twice. And my heart was bursting out of my fucking chest. But it felt amazing to hear the audience take over the track like that.” Later on, in Namjoon’s hotel room, Hoseok told Yoongi that he knows that feeling, that the one time his track turned off during his solo, he almost panicked, but it ended up being the performance of that song that he remembers the most.

And yet, while Namjoon could see that Yoongi wasn’t freaking out, he was definitely a little shaken, a little riled up just from talking about it. He was that way when Namjoon took him into his arms and tried to kiss him to calm him down, and stayed that way while he was taking Hoseok and Namjoon’s clothes off. He pushed Namjoon against the headboard, straddled Namjoon’s thighs, fumbled with the lube behind himself and sat down on Namjoon’s cock with a hiss and probably even less prep than last time, skipping the condom. Hoseok was behind Yoongi, between Namjoon’s spread legs, his hands wrapped around Yoongi’s torso.

Namjoon could tell immediately that one half of Yoongi was with them and the other half was still on stage. Yoongi’s heart was pounding, Namjoon felt it when he laid his hand on Yoongi’s chest. And Yoongi was hissing in pain and not talking. It was the lack of talking that tipped Namjoon off about Yoongi’s mental state, and, the moment Namjoon saw it, he ran with it.

He tugged Yoongi closer by his hips, spread his own legs a little wider and helped Yoongi take his cock as deep as possible. Then, he took Yoongi’s hands off his shoulders and pushed them behind Yoongi’s back, between him and Hoseok, and held Yoongi’s wrists together. Yoongi was not protesting, he didn’t really seem to notice. Hoseok did notice though. He looked at Namjoon with a question written in his eyes, and Namjoon stared into Hoseok’s eyes until Hoseok understood what was happening.

“Hold them,” Namjoon nudged Hoseok with Yoongi’s hands.

Hoseok swallowed, his eyes widened, and he took hold of Yoongi’s wrists.

Namjoon doesn’t think he had ever been more focused during sex in his life. Yoongi was still riding him, still had too much control, so Namjoon took it from him. He grabbed Yoongi’s hips and thrust up into him. Yoongi gasped, his arms wiggling like was trying to get away from Hoseok, but Hoseok kept Yoongi still. Yoongi’s attention snapped back to them in that moment, like he felt that something was different. Namjoon was worried that Yoongi would catch on to what was happening, start thinking about it and ruin it for himself.

“Baby, you feel so good,” Namjoon said, catching Yoongi’s gaze.

He needed to lead Yoongi away from thinking about what was happening to himself. Better that he think about how good he was making Namjoon feel, how good he was being for Namjoon and Hoseok, instead of the way his own body was reacting.

“You make me feel so good, baby,” Namjoon pressed his forehead against Yoongi’s, still thrusting. “Do you wanna make Hoseokie feel good too?”

Yoongi nodded, his breathing picking up.

“Wrap your beautiful fingers around his cock,” Namjoon instructed, keeping his gaze firmly on Yoongi’s. He could feel Yoongi’s arms wiggling in Hoseok’s grasp. “He’s gonna feel so good fucking your fists, yeah, baby?”

Yoongi nodded again.

“Seok,” Namjoon spoke. “Make sure his fists are nice and tight for you.”

“Okay,” Hoseok said. Namjoon could see, from the corner of his vision, that Hoseok’s hips were moving back and forth.

“Keep your eyes on me,” Namjoon said, bringing his attention fully to Yoongi, making sure Yoongi’s focus was where it needed to be. “Clench on my cock,” he instructed him, trying to make him feel more submissive. Yoongi clenched. “You’re gonna be good for me,” that was an order, Namjoon knew it, and Yoongi knew it. Yoongi’s eyes widened. “Right, hyung?”

Yoongi swallowed, breathing heavily.

“Answer me,” Namjoon insisted.

Yoongi’s breath stuttered, “Yes.”

“Yes, what?” Namjoon thrust harder, wrapping his palm around Yoongi’s cock.

Yoongi’s eyes rolled back, “Yes, I’ll be good.”

“How good?” Namjoon started stroking him.

Yoongi made a few sounds in response, no actual words.

“Look at me,” Namjoon reminded, and Yoongi did as he said. “How good?”

“G-good,” Yoongi stammered.

So good,” Namjoon corrected.

“So good,” Yoongi whispered.

Yoongi was almost there. Namjoon could see it so clearly. But something was still not right. Yoongi couldn’t seem to tip over into it. His body was strung too tight, his focus on Namjoon but still somewhere else too, his breathing was too heavy-

That’s when it hit Namjoon. It was the breathing. That was the difference. The first time Yoongi went into subspace, he wasn’t breathing. Every time Namjoon rims him, he barely breathes. Namjoon trailed his unoccupied hand up Yoongi’s chest and gently rested it on the base of Yoongi’s neck. Yoongi’s gaze didn’t move from Namjoon’s.

Namjoon wanted to ask Yoongi if he was okay with Namjoon doing what he was about to do, but asking would have shifted Yoongi’s attention, and Namjoon didn’t want to risk that. So he didn’t ask. He knew what Yoongi needed. He trusted himself to know, trusted himself to stop if need be. So he squeezed Yoongi’s throat, first lightly, watching the way Yoongi’s pupils blew up, Yoongi’s adrenaline probably spiking, then harder, actually cutting off some of Yoongi’s air supply, watching Yoongi gasp as hard as he could and feeling Yoongi’s body loosen.

It was such a strong immediate response, Namjoon released the pressure off Yoongi’s neck out of pure instinct. But it didn’t matter at that point. Namjoon wasn’t applying any pressure to Yoongi’s throat, but Yoongi was not breathing anyway, all on his own. Yoongi’s eyes were still on Namjoon’s, but he was gone. Just gone. Namjoon kept fucking him, chasing after his own orgasm as quickly as he could, and Hoseok, behind Yoongi, his hips moving fast, his eyes sharp like never before, seemed to be doing the same.

Namjoon came inside Yoongi and kept fucking Yoongi’s limp body until Yoongi spilled onto Namjoon’s stomach and fist. Hoseok came sometime then too, Namjoon wasn’t sure at what exact moment. When Yoongi was done, his gaze finally tore away from Namjoon’s, head rolling back onto Hoseok’s shoulder. He was starting to breathe normally again, sallow but steady, laying limp and looking high. Namjoon was absolutely elated. He leaned forward and kept Yoongi close, providing the physical comfort that he already knew Yoongi needed.

Hoseok, though, Hoseok looked absolutely shocked. He was hugging Yoongi like he was afraid Yoongi was going to float away. Namjoon remembered feeling the same fear when Yoongi spaced out for the first time, and he smiled, reaching for Hoseok’s cheek gently.

“You did really well,” Namjoon told Hoseok quietly. “Thank you.”

The statement seemed to only surprise Hoseok more, Hoseok’s eyes widening, but Hoseok nodded anyway and kept hugging Yoongi.

Namjoon was not sure if Yoongi could even hear them in that moment, but it didn’t stop Namjoon from verbally comforting him. Unexpectedly, though, as much as Namjoon was comforting Yoongi, Hoseok was talking even more, and Namjoon was filled with a strange feeling of pride.

“Hyung,” Hoseok whispered. “Hyung, you did so well. You were so good for Joon. Oh my god, Yoongi hyung, it was so amazing. You were so amazing. You were so good. You did such a good job. Hyung, you were so good.”

Eleven minutes later, when Yoongi came to, he slowly turned his head to Hoseok, nuzzled his nose into Hoseok’s cheek, kissed Hoseok’s jaw and whispered: “I love you.”

Hoseok inhaled shakily, his lower lip trembling for a second before he gently, oh so gently, kissed Yoongi on the lips.

“My babies,” Namjoon breathed, brushing the back of Yoongi’s head.

“Come kiss me,” Yoongi whispered, turning to Namjoon.

Namjoon obliged, softly pressing his lips to Yoongi’s.

“Thank you,” Yoongi whispered against Namjoon’s lips. “You were incredible.”

“I love you,” was Namjoon’s answer, his heart was clenched so tight.

Yoongi smiled with his eyes, “I’m really cold.”

Hoseok hugged Yoongi tighter, and Yoongi’s smile widened.

“Let me get up, and I’ll lay you down on the pillow,” Namjoon said, brushing his knuckles over Yoongi’s cheekbone.

Yoongi shook his head, “I don’t want you to go.”

Namjoon smiled, “Come here then,” Namjoon leaned back. “Lie down on my chest.”

“’kay,” Yoongi said and slumped forward, his cheek pressing to Namjoon’s shoulder.

Namjoon smiled wider, and when Hoseok moved to their side, Namjoon slowly pulled his now soft cock out of Yoongi, straightened out his legs, wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s middle and scooted them both down the bed. Hoseok placed a pillow under Namjoon’s head, and Namjoon laid down properly, arms secure around Yoongi. Before lying down with them, Hoseok got a wet wipe from the bedside drawer and dragged it across Yoongi’s lower back.

“Mmm,” Yoongi groaned. “Cold.”

“Sorry,” Hoseok whispered. “My come’s on your back.”

“Don’t care,” Yoongi said.

“Didn’t want the blanket to get all gross,” Hoseok said, tossed the wipe and covered Yoongi and Namjoon with the blanket.

There was come between Yoongi and Namjoon’s stomachs too, but Namjoon didn’t care. And then he remembered that his own come is leaking out of Yoongi and started caring a little more, thinking that cannot be comfortable for Yoongi. But Yoongi wasn’t complaining, and he was still so soft and fragile, and Namjoon held back on the cleaning and water part of aftercare because he already knew that holding Yoongi was much more important in that moment.

Hoseok got under the blanket and cuddled up to Namjoon as well, brushing his fingers through Yoongi’s hair with the same motion that Yoongi and Namjoon use to comfort him. It was sweet, so Namjoon kissed Hoseok’s forehead.

It’s still hard for Namjoon to pinpoint what exactly it is that gets Yoongi into subspace. There are too many different factors. Makes it impossible to recreate everything in a controlled way. In the following month and a half, it has yet to happen again, but Namjoon always keeps an eye out. On both of them. He understands how important it is for their relationship, how, for Yoongi and Hoseok, it represents the highest level of trust they can give Namjoon – absolute physical and mental control for a short while.

It’s important for Namjoon too, to be trusted so completely. It reminds him to be attuned to their feelings, and how important it is to keep communicating about where they are with each other.

 

 

 

“The big night,” Namjoon tells Yoongi, pacing in Seokjin’s room.

“Relax,” Jimin says. “This is gonna go perfectly. You’ve literally figured out everything. Every possible fucking option. Things that I would have never even thought of.”

“Nope,” Namjoon shakes his head. “We’ve lost our minds. We are so going to get caught.”

“Listen to me,” Yoongi says, stepping up to Namjoon and grabbing his shoulders, looking him in the eyes. “If you’re going to freak out, I am one hundred percent going to freak out. And then, even if we don’t get caught, I’m not going to be able to get my dick up enough to go through with it.”

Jimin and Taehyung snort.

Seokjin groans, “Ugh, why the dick talk?”

“It’s gonna be fine,” Yoongi ignores them, placing his palms on both of Namjoon’s cheeks, forcing Namjoon to look at him. “We’re going to get Hoseok then wait until the cars are ready and then drive there, and everything will be fine,” Yoongi recites the plan. “Everyone who needs to know where we are knows, and they know not to bother us. It’s gonna be fine.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Namjoon nods, then shakes his head. “It’s gonna be fine. It’s gonna be totally fine.”

“The more you’re nervous, the more my dick shrinks,” Yoongi says seriously. “Get it together. We’ve worked too hard to just give up now.”

Namjoon takes a deep breath, “It’s now or never.”

“Don’t say it like we’re going to die!” Yoongi exclaims. “We are doing this because we are the best fucking boyfriends in the whole fucking world!”

“Yeah,” Namjoon takes a deep, calming breath. “You’re right,” he kisses Yoongi. Hard.

“They’re so cute,” Jeongguk giggles.

“Let’s go,” Namjoon steps away from Yoongi. “Everybody remembers the plan?”

He looks at all of them. They all nod. Including Yoongi.

Namjoon nods too, and they all head out of Seokjin’s room.

Right when Namjoon is about to open the door to his own room, he stops, taking another deep breath. Someone’s hand settles on his shoulder, and he turns to find that it’s Seokjin’s.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Seokjin says, and for some reason, that gives Namjoon enough strength to slide his keycard through the lock and open the door.

Hoseok is on the bed with his laptop on his thighs. He looks up, his eyes widening and eyebrows rising when he sees them, then confusion colors his face.

“The fuck is going on?” Hoseok asks. His eyes focus on Namjoon and Yoongi who are standing in front of everyone at the door. “I thought you were out.”

“We’re all going out,” Yoongi says, stepping into the room. Namjoon follows Yoongi, everyone else stays at the door. “Get a jacket and put on your shoes.”

“What?” Hoseok doesn’t move. “What’s happening?”

“We’re going to the arena,” Namjoon explains, and Hoseok’s confusion deepens.

“Why?” Hoseok asks.

“Belated birthday present,” Namjoon answers, coming closer to the bed, gently lifting Hoseok’s laptop off Hoseok’s thighs and placing it on the bedside table.

Hoseok looks up at him, “In the arena?”

“Don’t ask questions yet,” Namjoon whispers. Yoongi brings Hoseok a jacket and a pair of shoes. “We’ll tell you everything when we get there, okay?” Hoseok reasonably doesn’t look ant less confused. “Please?”

Hoseok sighs deeply, his forehead smoothing out. He glances over to the door again, looks back at Namjoon and Yoongi, then gets up off the bed, taking the jacket from Yoongi’s hands and sliding into the shoes.

Namjoon takes Hoseok’s hands in his, leans in and kisses him. Yoongi smiles at them and grabs their pre-prepared backpack.

“Just got the text from the drivers,” Yoongi says, looking up from his phone. “Cars are ready. Let’s go.”

Namjoon lets go of Hoseok, and Hoseok, a bit hesitantly, follows them out into the hallway.

They all pile into the elevator.

“I’ve noticed you acting weird, you know,” Hoseok says, looking at Namjoon and Yoongi. “Just tell me that this is why.”

There’s a pause. Namjoon didn’t realize he and Yoongi were being so obvious.

“It is,” Yoongi answers.

Everyone else is on their best behavior, simply watching the exchange. Jeongguk whispers something to Jimin. Namjoon can’t hear what, but Taehyung can, and he and Jimin both smile.

“Good,” Hoseok nods. “I thought I was going to have to sit you down and question you about what was going on with you.”

“Were we really that obvious?” Yoongi asks.

“It was obvious that you were hiding something,” Hoseok answers. “I thought I was imagining it. But today you were a little bit extra obvious,” he stops, and Namjoon realizes that, since Hoseok noticed something was off, he must have been really worried. Yoongi looks like he just realized the same thing. Hoseok still just looks suspicious, his eyes squinted. “I think it’s a good indicator of the stability of our relationship that I didn’t even consider that you might want to break up with me-“

“Of course not!” Namjoon rushes to say.

“No, I know,” Hoseok’s lips purse. “There was a second there that I thought you were going to propose, but…” Hoseok raises his eyebrows, like the idea of marriage is obviously so very impossible.

Namjoon just blinks.

“I mean, uh- one day, maybe, sure, I- uh, maybe-“ Namjoon stammers. Yoongi’s eyes widen. So do Hoseok’s. Everyone else’s mouths drop open. “Wouldn’t be legally possible right now anyway,” Namjoon mumbles. “Oh, look! We’re here,” he adds when the elevator reaches the lobby.

Three guards meet them downstairs and escort them into the awaiting cars. It’s only nine-thirty pm, but everything is very much quiet. No interferences. Not a single paparazzi outside. They did a good job timing everything.

Jeongguk sits in the front seat in the same car as Namjoon, Hoseok, and Yoongi, Hoseok sitting in the middle of the back seat. Seokjin, Taehyung, and Jimin are in another car with a guard, and a third car with the two other guards is driving in front of them. Once they start heading towards the arena, Yoongi turns to Namjoon.

“Marriage?” He asks, vague enough for the driver to not understand, but very much clear to everyone else.

“Shut up,” Namjoon says, blushing. Obviously not marriage. Even if they could get married in Korea somehow, all three of them, it’s far too soon. They’ve only been dating three months. Not that Namjoon hates the idea of marriage happening someday.

“Three months, Joon,” Yoongi adds, smiling. At least Yoongi’s not thinking so much about their plan failing anymore.

“I know,” Namjoon insists.

Jeongguk turns to them from the front seat, lower lip caught between his teeth and both hands cupping his own cheeks.

“Shut up,” Namjoon tells him and blushes so much fucking harder.

Hoseok and Yoongi laugh, but at least they’re blushing too.

“So…” Hoseok prompts. “Are you gonna explain now or…”

“When we get there,” Yoongi says.

“Just-“ Namjoon leans in to whisper in Hoseok’s ear. “If anyone asks anything, let one of us answer.”

“Obviously,” Hoseok says, and the rest of the ride passes quietly.

 

Twenty minutes later, they park at the back of the arena. Namjoon says thank you to the driver, who stays in the car, and steps out. Seokjin, Taehyung, and Jimin are already there, with the three bodyguards around them. There’s no reason for the guards, not really, there’s no one in sight, but, well, protocol.

They get walked to the back entrance, Taehyung, Jimin, and Seokjin discussing what sounds to Namjoon like the special dance break they’re preparing for the performance after the next one. That’s good. Adds to the façade of what they’ve supposedly come here for. Jeongguk quickly joins their conversation, and when they reach the two night guards, they’re all let through with a simple “hello, how are you?” and absolutely no other questions. Suddenly, Namjoon feels like he can breathe.

“Hiyori-san said you can have as much time as you need,” one of the night guards says as he walks them and their bodyguards through the huge waiting room where they usually sit down to eat to the main dressing room. “The door locks automatically once it closes, but it opens from the inside without the keycode, so don’t worry,” he says, coming to a stop in front of the door and punching the keycode into the lock. Namjoon and Yoongi already know all of that.

The door clicks open and the night guard holds it for the seven of them to walk in.

“Send us a text once you’re done, and we’ll come get you,” Minwoo says, stepping closer to Donggun and the third bodyguard – a new guy whose name Namjoon doesn’t remember.

“Thank you again,” Namjoon says, holding the door open. “This won’t take too long.”

“Take your time,” the night guard waves a dismissing hand at them. “We’ll keep them company,” he turns to their bodyguards. “Do you want coffee?”

“I’d love some,” Minwoo answers and trails after the night guard, the other bodyguards following suit.

Namjoon lets the door go and watches it lock in front of him. Then he turns around.

“So…” Hoseok prompts one more time.

“Not yet,” Namjoon says calmly, aware of the camera above them, and points with his chin to the hall leading to the stage. “Let’s go.”

“O-kay,” Hoseok’s eyebrows rise, and Namjoon leads them through the door, into the long white hallway, makes a turn to the right side of the stage – the one towards which the walk is a bit shorter, then makes another turn into the area at the side where the stage opens.

Black walls, black floors, big pieces of their set stacked at the sides, ready to be moved around during the performance, and black and silver locked crates with other, smaller, pieces of equipment. Namjoon glances quickly along the long hallway behind the stage and sees darkness. Good. No one here indeed. Then he pauses and lets the others get up onto the stage before him.

He follows them, and the stage opens up before him, long and empty other than his six best friends, and then he looks up. It’s weird, seeing this huge place so very empty. Fourteen thousand seats to fill and place for another two thousand people standing. The smallest arena of this tour. The empty seats are something Namjoon’s gotten used to over the years. They get to see them empty much more than they get to see them filled, but still, even when they’re rehearsing, there are always people around, walking, talking. Just general noise. There’s no one here now. It’s quiet.

They don’t go very far, all seven of them pausing before getting to the middle of the stage. Hoseok is standing close to Yoongi and looking at Namjoon. And he doesn’t need to say ‘so’ again for Namjoon to hear it.

“Okay,” Namjoon says. “Anyone need a reminder of anything?”

“Nope,” Jimin says. “Ready to go.”

Taehyung comes closer to Jimin.

“Now?” Taehyung asks.

Namjoon nods, and Taehyung nods right back, taking Jimin’s arm and walking them back out to the dressing room.

“Have fun!” Jimin calls out at the last second.

Hoseok looks at them, confused.

Namjoon turns to Jeongguk and Seokjin.

“If anyone comes-“ Namjoon starts, but Seokjin cuts him off.

“Call,” Seokjin says.

“We remember,” Jeongguk adds.

“Okay,” Namjoon nods, and watches Seokjin and Jeongguk each walk to the stairs at the sides of the stage, step down them and head for the two audience entries at the back of the arena. It’s a long walk.

Yoongi and Hoseok are watching Jeongguk and Seokjin too when Namjoon turns to check on them. He walks up close to them and drapes an arm across their shoulders.

“What are we doing here?” Hoseok asks.

Yoongi wiggles out from under Namjoon’s grip and takes one strap of his backpack off, then swings the backpack to his front, opens the smallest compartment and takes out a bottle of lube.

“Happy late birthday,” Yoongi says, handing the bottle to Hoseok.

Hoseok slaps Yoongi’s hands back.

“What are you doing?!” he whispers angrily. “Put that away! There are cameras.”

Yoongi looks taken aback, but Namjoon just laughs.

“There aren’t,” Namjoon says. “Not in here.”

“What?” Hoseok turns to Namjoon.

“We know your birthday was almost three weeks ago now,” Yoongi walks towards Namjoon to stand in front of Hoseok. “But, this is your official birthday present.”

“What exactly?” Hoseok asks.

“Fucking on stage,” Namjoon answers.

Hoseok’s eyes widen.

He doesn’t say anything.

“Do you remember,” Namjoon starts, “the first time we had sex, you told us that being with us meant you could do things that you could never do before?” Namjoon sees recognition flicker over Hoseok’s eyes. “I asked you what those things would be, and you said…”

“Fucking on stage,” Yoongi finishes when Hoseok doesn’t say anything. 

Hoseok stares at them blankly.

“I don’t think I ever actually expected that to happen,” he says eventually. “Also, how would that happen? How do you know that there are no cameras in here?”

“We’ve been planning this for about a week,” Yoongi says. “And thinking about it for a while before that. A month. Maybe a little less.”

“Yoongi brought up the idea about two weeks before your birthday,” Namjoon adds. “And… at first, I thought it was crazy,” he backtracks. “I still think it’s crazy. But, I didn’t hate the idea-“

“He jerked off to the idea,” Yoongi corrects, and Namjoon sees a hint of a smile flashing on Hoseok’s lips.

“I jerked off to the idea,” Namjoon says, smiling a little too. “And then I started thinking about logistics. When, where, how. I figured this arena was probably the best place to do it. The only place to do it.”

“In an arena,” Hoseok breathes and looks around himself. “The times I imagined this happening, just as a fun exercise, not something that I actually thought would happen, I never imagined an arena. Always a smaller place. Something easily contained.”

“It’s a small arena,” Namjoon shrugs, smiling. Somehow, Namjoon finds himself a lot calmer now. They do have everything figured out. Everything will be fine. “The smallest this tour.”

“I know,” Hoseok says and looks at them again. “Explain more. How do you know we’re not being filmed right now?” 

“We checked,” Namjoon explains more. “Yoongi worked on getting permission to come here, and I figured out cameras. I accidentally met the main guard of the building, a guy with access to the security room with all the cameras, and he took me there and showed me that there were no cameras inside this room. No microphones either. We’re alone in here. And then I got paranoid that I might have missed something somehow, so I found that guy again, that time on purpose, and asked him to take me into the security room again, and checked again that there are really no cameras in here. There aren’t. There are cameras outside of this room, pointing at the doors from the outside,” Namjoon points towards one of the audience entries. “One over there,” he points to the other entrance. “And one over there. Where Jeongguk and Seokjin are right now.”

“You sound very sure,” Hoseok comments. They can’t see Seokjin and Jeongguk from here, thankfully, but they are in the room with them, right by the doors.

“I am,” Namjoon breathes in deeply. “I double checked.”

“And you…” Hoseok turns to Yoongi.

“I found the person who has the authority to give us time in here,” Yoongi says. “Talked to her and convinced her to give us permission to spend some time alone in here.”

“How did you do that?” Hoseok asks.

“Yesterday at the end of rehearsals, I told her that during the last show, we had some trouble figuring out the proper spacing for the choreography of one of the songs and got a bit lost, and that we still didn’t figure it out during the rehearsal, so we needed a bit more time. Asked her if we showed up here tonight, could she tell the guards to let us in? And she said yes.”

“That’s a really weak excuse,” Hoseok looks skeptical.

“It got us in here,” Yoongi shrugs. “It’s the best thing I could think of in the moment, and she… both didn’t know enough to argue, and didn’t seem to want to argue. I think I made a good impression on her.”

“And then I talked to Bang PD,” Namjoon adds. “Because he needs to know where the entire group disappeared to all of the sudden, and basically told him the same thing, that we need time to figure some stuff out and we that got permission for it from the manager here.”

“He does know enough though,” Hoseok says. “He didn’t say anything?”

“You know I can be convincing,” Namjoon shrugs. “I also may or may not have purposefully gone to talk to him after he drank two to three glasses of champagne.”

“Ah,” Hoseok breathes.

“At that moment, he didn’t know better,” Namjoon says. “I think he did notice that something was funny about the request, but whatever he thought we’d be doing in here, he probably didn’t think it’d be worth stressing over. I mean, what in the world could we be doing in here other than practicing?” Namjoon and Yoongi laugh.

“So, that’s how we got the drivers and bodyguards onto their feet at ten pm,” Hoseok says. “Bang PD’s orders.”

“Yup,” Namjoon nods.

“And everyone else is here because…” Hoseok trails off.

“We’re not the only people with the keys to this place,” Yoongi explains. “So, we needed our own guards. Men on the inside.”

“Covering the exists,” Namjoon says, feeling a bit like a spy in a movie. “Actually, the entrances.”

They stop.

“Keep explaining,” Hoseok laughs. “Are we actually supposed to have sex with Jeongguk and Seokjin in the room?”

“It’s a real big room,” Yoongi laughs too. “And unless you start screaming, they won’t even hear you from all the way over there.”

“Oh my god,” Something seems to dawn on Hoseok, he turns to Namjoon. “Is that why you were screaming at Yoongi from the stage during rehearsal yesterday? You were checking to see how well you could hear each other from a distance?”

“Yup,” Yoongi laughs.

“Unbelievable,” Hoseok shakes his head.

“Jeongguk and Seokjin are covering the audience entrances,” Namjoon explains, pointing at the entrances with both hands. Hoseok needs to know. “The little windows at the top of the doors, Seokjin and Jeongguk’s job is to look through them and tell us if anyone’s coming. Jimin and Taehyung are in the main dressing room, covering that door. Their job is pretty much the same, only more difficult.”

“How?” Hoseok asks.

“If someone comes in through here,” Namjoon points to where Seokjin and Jeongguk are. “Then what we do is we run backstage and fix ourselves where there are no cameras, then go to Jimin and Taehyung. Jeongguk and Seokjin will be right behind us,” Hoseok nods, so Namjoon continues. “If someone comes in through the main dressing room, we don’t have anywhere to run and hide, we have to stay here. So, Jimin and Taehyung’s job is to stall whoever it is who’ll come in there long enough for us to get dressed and do whatever else we need, and then we’ll be on stage with Seokjin and Jeongguk dancing or singing, you know, looking inconspicuous.”

“Okay,” Hoseok nods again. “Who decided who’s in here and who’s in the dressing room?”

“We did,” Yoongi answers. “Despite objections.”

“Who objected?” Hoseok asks, laughing.

“Jimin, Tae, and Seokjin,” Yoongi says. “Jimin and Tae wanted to be in here, and Seokjin desperately didn’t want to be in here. Jeongguk didn’t care.”

“I understand why Seokjin wouldn’t want to be in here,” Hoseok says. “But why did Tae and Jimin-”

“Because they’re gross and voyeuristic,” Yoongi cut him off, laughing. Hoseok’s face is a smile and a cringe all at once. “We told them that we want them in the dressing room because we trust that they could charm anyone who’d come in for plenty of time,” Yoongi pauses. “In reality, we figured that out of the four of them, Seokjin and Jeongguk might get curious and peek at us, while Jimin and Tae would straight-up watch.”

“I- I believe that,” Hoseok nods.

Yoongi nods with his eyebrows raised and lips pursed.

“What happens if someone comes in through Jeongguk and Seokjin’s side is they call my phone,” Namjoon says. “That’s the signal. They have their own ringtone right now. Then, after calling us, they call Jimin or Tae and warm them. Same if someone comes in through Jimin and Tae’s side. They have a special ringtone too. Those ringtones are the only ones that matter tonight. Yoongi’s phone is off, please turn off yours too,” Namjoon stops, and Hoseok fumbles for his phone, turning it off. “If you hear my normal ringtone, ignore it, we’ll ignore it as well. We know what the special ringtones sound like. Basically,” he catches Hoseok’s gaze. “Only panic if you see us panic.”

“Okay,” Hoseok nods, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. “You really did figure everything out.”

Namjoon smiles, “We got very lucky in some respects, but yes, we did.”

There’s a long pause.

“I really don’t know how to react to this,” Hoseok says, walking to the middle of the stage then stepping forward.

Namjoon and Yoongi follow him. There’s a long walkway from the middle of the stage to the middle of the room where there is a round platform that acts as a second stage. Hoseok pauses at the beginning of the walkway.

“Getting a boner would be a nice start,” Yoongi says, coming to a stop to Hoseok’s left.

“Yeah,” Hoseok breathes and looks down at himself. “Yeah, no, my body is not doing that right now.”

Namjoon comes up to Hoseok’s other side and just looks into the distance for a minute. Fourteen thousand empty seats, all of which were filled with people two nights ago. The furthest seats look so small from here. When they’re performing, all Namjoon can see in those seats are lights. No faces. He can barely see the people up there at all. Only darkness and the lights in the fans’ hands moving back and forth. They’re too far away for him to really see them. They feel closer now, like they’re looking right at him.

Namjoon takes a deep breath. His body doesn’t feel anywhere near a boner as well. It’s so fucking quiet in here.

“This is a bit…” Hoseok trails off. “Eerie.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon breathes.

“I’m used to noise,” Hoseok adds.

“Yeah,” Namjoon agrees.

“I feel like taking my dick out right now would be inappropriate,” Hoseok says.

“Yeah,” Namjoon agrees again.

Yoongi hums in agreement. He drops his bag to the floor and sits down, placing the lube in front of himself next to the bag.

“What are you doing?” Hoseok asks.

“Sitting,” Yoongi answers, straightening out his legs.

Namjoon decides sitting is a pretty good idea, so he does the same. It makes the seats at the very back look even further away.

Hoseok sits down between them, his legs crossed, and sighs.

“How horrible would I be if, after all of this, I chickened out?” Hoseok asks.

“You wouldn’t be horrible,” Namjoon says, turning to Hoseok, his eyebrows furrowed. “This is supposed to be a fun thing, a… fantasy come true. If it’s not that, then… there’s no point in doing it,” he takes Hoseok’s hand and intertwines their fingers. “It’s your birthday present. It’s your choice.”

Hoseok looks at their hands. Yoongi takes Hoseok’s other hand too. They’ve held hands plenty of times on stage before. Just two days ago, at the end of the performance, they were bowing and holding hands. This feels different.

“Even holding your hands like this feels weird here,” Hoseok says. “I feel exposed. Like we’re being watched. Not allowed to touch you liked this in public.”

“You like feeling exposed sometimes, no?” Yoongi asks, rubbing his thumb over Hoseok’s thumb.

“Yeah, but-“ Hoseok looks up. “Not here. Not in front of… them.”

“They’re not here,” Namjoon says gently.

“I can see that,” Hoseok says, still looking forward. “But I can see them here anyway.”

Namjoon lets go of Hoseok’s hand, and scoots, on his ass, to sit before Yoongi and Hoseok, his back to the walkway, to the seats, to the nonexistent audience, and retakes Hoseok’s hand in one of his and Yoongi’s unoccupied hand in his other, tying them all together.

“Close your eyes,” Namjoon instructs Hoseok.

Both Hoseok and Yoongi close their eyes. Namjoon smiles.

“Imagine that the lights are not on,” Namjoon says. “Imagine that you’re on stage, and a song just ended. Imagine that second that all the lights are off and all the sound is off before the next song,” Namjoon pauses. “Are you imagining it?”

Hoseok and Yoongi nod.

“It’s those few seconds that everything is off,” Namjoon says, watching Yoongi and Hoseok, his heartbeat picking up. “You look up,” he continues. Hoseok’s head tilts up a little, eyes still closed. “You see the lights from the Army Bombs moving. You see the flash from the phones. You see no faces. It’s dark in those few moments. Completely dark. Even the people in the very front rows are submerged in darkness. Only Army Bombs and flash. You don’t see people. They’re not there. Don’t look at them. Look at the lights. And listen. Are you listening?”

They nod again.

“Do you hear the screams?” Namjoon asks, hearing them himself. “The cheers?”

They nod.

“Do you hear me?” Namjoon asks.

One more nod.

“I love you,” Namjoon says.

Their eyes open and focus on Namjoon. Hoseok is breathing shakily and leaning forward, letting go of both of their hands, cupping both of Namjoon’s cheeks and kissing him. Hard and desperate and needy, and Namjoon kisses him back the same way.

“Oh,” Hoseok breathes, looks up and behind Namjoon, then leans in for another kiss.

Namjoon feels another hand on his shoulder and realizes that Yoongi has moved closer to them as well. He breaks away from Hoseok, turns to Yoongi and kisses him too. It’s still weird, doing this here. But Namjoon is more okay with it than he probably should be. He sees how hesitant and odd Yoongi and Hoseok feel and decides to focus on that instead of the ambiance of the arena. It’s easy to focus on them, he’s used to it.

This is not Namjoon’s present, it’s Hoseok’s, and, in a way, it’s Yoongi’s too. It’s something that the two of them have fantasized about for a long time. Namjoon decides it’s his mission to make this gift as good as possible for both of them.

Namjoon pulls away from Yoongi and presses his forehead to Hoseok’s.

“What do you wanna do, baby?” Namjoon asks.

“I don’t- I don’t know,” Hoseok says, pressing his lips to Namjoon’s again.

Namjoon brings his hand to the front of Hoseok’s pants. He’s getting hard.

“Do you wanna do this?” Namjoon insists. “We can turn back.”

Hoseok grinds his crotch into Namjoon’s palm, “We’ll never be able to do this again, right?”

“We might,” Namjoon says. “It wouldn’t be easy, but we might. Don’t agree to this only because you think it’ll never happen again. Only say yes if you want to.”

Hoseok grinds again, whimpering, “I want to.”

“Fucking come here,” Yoongi pulls Hoseok away from Namjoon, locking their lips together, tugging Hoseok into his lap.

When Hoseok is off Namjoon, Namjoon reaches for Yoongi’s bag, opens the big compartment and takes out the folded brown blanket they borrowed from Yoongi’s room. He drops it on the stage and takes a string of condoms out of the small compartment along with a small package of wet wipes, then stands up, grabbing the blanket.

Hoseok looks up at him, “Blanket?”

“We prepared,” Yoongi shrugs.

With his hands on Hoseok’s hips, Yoongi moves the two of them slightly to the side so that Namjoon could spread the blanket in the middle of the stage, right at the beginning of the long walkway. Hoseok climbs off Yoongi and onto the blanket then. Yoongi follows him, bringing the lube and condoms onto the blanket too.

“It’s like a weird picknick,” Hoseok comments.

“We’ve been stepping on this stage all day today, it’s not clean,” Namjoon says, sitting down on the blanket. “This is being responsible.”

Hoseok laughs. He looks really happy, so Namjoon smiles.

Namjoon scoots closer to them, gently brushing Hoseok’s hair off his forehead.

“What do you wanna do?” Namjoon asks him again.

“I really don’t know,” Hoseok shakes his head. “I- I don’t know.”

Namjoon pauses, “Do you want…”

“Can I-“ Yoongi cuts Namjoon off then seems to change his mind. “Is there something that you want?”

“Uh… nothing specific, no,” Namjoon answers. He’s never really thought of this moment as being about him. He hasn’t thought about what he might want.

Yoongi looks away, hesitating.

“But you want something,” Namjoon says. Yoongi keeps looking away. “What is it?”

“I don’t know if this is the right time,” Yoongi says.

Hoseok leans towards Yoongi, placing his palm of Yoongi’s thigh.

“Hyung,” Hoseok whispers. He looks a bit lost, a bit desperate. Like he needs Yoongi to instruct him. “Please.”

“I want you to fuck me,” Yoongi says, raising his gaze again.

“Okay,” Hoseok nods quickly.

“Both of you,” Yoongi adds.

Hoseok keeps nodding. Namjoon doesn’t understand why Yoongi was worried about asking for that. It’s not like they’ve never fucked him before.

“No, like,” Yoongi corrects, “at the same time.”

Namjoon’s too surprised to respond. He knows he’s big, he knows that taking his cock alone is painful, he cannot imagine Yoongi being able to take both his cock and Hoseok’s cock at once.

“I’ve been waiting to ask for a while,” Yoongi says, blushing. Hoseok wordlessly straddles one of Yoongi’s thighs, tugging at the waistband of Yoongi’s pants. Yoongi either ignores it or is too nervous to notice. “I just-” Yoongi swallows, not lifting his hips for Hoseok to take his pants off. “I wanted to save it for a special moment. Thought maybe I could ask for it on my birthday or something, or, I don’t know, on a special occasion.”

“This is a special occasion,” Hoseok says, nodding. “Let me take your pants off. Please. We need to prep you.”

Hoseok’s eagerness surprises Namjoon slightly, but Yoongi’s only reaction to it is a little shy smile.

Namjoon catches Yoongi’s gaze.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Namjoon says, meaning it. It’ll be painful. It might be too painful.

“I want it to hurt,” Yoongi whispers, his eyes soft. “I wanna- “ he swallows, finally raising his hips. “I wanna feel you both inside me. I want us to be that close together,” Hoseok gets off Yoongi’s lap and tugs Yoongi’s pants and underwear down and off.

Yoongi looks more beautiful right now than he does in any of their stage outfits. Keeping his oversized sweater on like that while his cock is hard between his legs makes him look… small.

“Please,” Yoongi adds. Namjoon looks into his eyes again. “Joon, please.”

Namjoon leans down and pushes Yoongi onto the blanket.

“Spread your legs,” Namjoon says, and Yoongi doesn’t hesitate.

It’s weird seeing him naked on stage, Namjoon can’t ignore that feeling. But he can’t focus on it for too long either. Not with the way that Yoongi looks. Just beautiful.  

“God, you’re beautiful,” Namjoon tells him, placing his hands on the insides of Yoongi’s thighs, spreading him further apart.

“Yeah,” Hoseok runs his fingers through Yoongi’s hair once, then picks up the lube bottle and hands it to Namjoon.

Namjoon takes it from him. He might be insane for letting Yoongi convince him to do this here. Not that Yoongi needed to do that much convincing. It’s the atmosphere of this place. Namjoon thinks they all feel a little daring. A little rebellious. Namjoon sure does. They should be on a bed for this, someplace where Yoongi would be as comfortable as possible. Not here. Not on the damn floor. Not stressed for time.

Yoongi places his palm on Namjoon’s cheek.

“You’re hesitating,” he says. “Don’t. You know I can take it.”

“I do,” he does. “But we should be on a bed. You should be comfortable.”

“As long as you’re here, I’m comfortable,” Yoongi says. He grabs the backs of his knees and pulls his legs up, exposing himself. “Please.”

“I can’t say no to you,” Namjoon breathes quietly.

“I know,” Yoongi smiles. “But I also know that you would say no anyway if you really believed I was wrong. I trust you enough to stop me if I’m being an idiot,” he pauses. “But you won’t say no.”

Namjoon shakes his head. He won’t say no. Yoongi likes being comfortable during sex, Namjoon knows that, so if Yoongi’s willing to give comfort up, then he must really want this. Namjoon pops open the lube bottle.

“How do we do this?” Namjoon asks Yoongi. He’s never done this before. He doesn’t know what the best way is.

“Prep me, then lie down on your back,” Yoongi says. “I’ll take you first and then Seok will push in.”

“Okay,” Hoseok answers right when Namjoon’s about to do the same. His eyes are wide. “Okay.”

“Are you spacing out?” Namjoon cups Hoseok’s cheek.

Hoseok’s eyes focus on his, still wide, “I’m not sure.”

“Come here, baby,” Yoongi says, tapping the blanket beside himself.

Hoseok lies down on his side next to Yoongi, one arm wrapping around Yoongi’s torso, the other hand finding Yoongi’s hair, nuzzling his nose into Yoongi’s temple. Yoongi wraps his own hand around the one that Hoseok has on his stomach, then he looks up at Namjoon, and Namjoon gets the hint and pours some lube onto his hand. He pours a lot actually, but it’s on purpose, the wetter the fucking better.

After placing the tips of two fingers at Yoongi’s hole, Namjoon looks at Yoongi, and only when Yoongi nods does Namjoon push them in. Yoongi’s only reaction is a sigh. It’s controlled, Namjoon knows that sigh very well. He knows Yoongi feels pain. He also knows Yoongi is very good at not showing it.

Yoongi turns to Hoseok, “Take your dick out for me.”

Hoseok does, and Yoongi wraps his fingers around it, stroking. Good. That’s good. Why did Namjoon not think of that? He’s not focused enough.

“Give me a third,” Yoongi says.

Namjoon swallows and slides a third finger into Yoongi. Yoongi’s eyebrows twitch for a second and that’s it. Namjoon’s glad Yoongi’s asking for a third finger, he never asks for that. It’s good to know that Yoongi’s being extra cautious.

And then Namjoon makes the mistake of looking up. God, it’s so overwhelming. This room is too big. He gets what Hoseok was saying before now, the place may be empty, but it doesn’t feel that way. Namjoon’s seen all of these seats filled. Twice. He sees it now too.

Yoongi cups Namjoon’s cheek, “Pull them out and get on your back.”

Namjoon can’t say he’s used to the orders, but right now, he takes them. Having instruction is helping him focus on the right thing. He pulls his fingers out of Yoongi. Hoseok is stroking himself, and Namjoon’s not sure when Yoongi let go of him. Too distracted. 

“Down,” Yoongi says, raising himself onto his elbows, his hands finding purchase on Namjoon’s chest and pushing, and Namjoon just goes, dropping onto his back beside Hoseok.

Yoongi roughly tugs Namjoon’s pants and underwear off, throwing them off the blanket. The cold air of the room hits Namjoon so fast it makes him shiver, but his cock is as hard as it can be.

Hoseok wraps his arm around Namjoon’s torso while Yoongi climbs onto Namjoon’s thighs. Namjoon grabs Hoseok’s hip and pulls Hoseok closer, until Hoseok’s cock is pressed to Namjoon’s thigh. Hoseok still looks a little shocked, but when Namjoon moves Hoseok’s hip, getting Hoseok’s cock to drag against Namjoon’s bare thigh, he seems to snap to attention, grinding his hips. It calms Namjoon.

Yoongi reaches for a condom and rips the packet open, then rolls it onto Namjoon’s length.

“Are you sure?” Namjoon asks, but even he can hear how weak it is. Namjoon wants them to be close like that too. He can’t even imagine how amazing it’ll feel to be inside Yoongi with Hoseok.

Yoongi’s response to the question is picking up the lube, lifting Namjoon’s cock up, pouring some lube directly onto Namjoon’s tip, then scooting forward and sitting right onto Namjoon’s cock.

Namjoon groans, his hands finding Yoongi’s hips. It takes Yoongi less than thirty seconds to work himself fully onto Namjoon’s length.

“Ah, fuck,” Yoongi’s head tilts back. He rolls his hips back and forth, “Fuck.”

“Hyung, you look so good,” Hoseok says.

And he does. He really does. The stage is so big behind him, but, even now, he commands it. His lower lip is caught between his teeth, the tip of his cock peeking out from beneath the sweater, pink and pretty, and Namjoon couldn’t look away from him if he tried.

“Seok, I’m gonna need you to get, I don’t know, at least one more finger into me before you fuck me,” Yoongi hands the lube to Hoseok. “To stretch me out a little bit more.”

I can do it,” Namjoon hurries to say. He reaches out to take the lube from Yoongi, but Yoongi moves it out of the way, then pushes it towards Hoseok again.

“Just lie back,” Yoongi fucks himself onto Namjoon’s cock, and Namjoon’s whole body warms up. “Let me get used to you.”

Namjoon nods. He pulls Yoongi closer, Yoongi’s hands bracing by Namjoon’s head, and kisses him. He kisses Yoongi like he’s desperate for it, like he hasn’t kissed Yoongi in days, and he’s starved for it now. Namjoon’s not sure why he feels so desperate. He’s also not sure why his head feels so light.

When Hoseok pulls Namjoon away from Yoongi, Namjoon kisses him too. Exactly the same way. Desperate and lightheaded. Namjoon needs to concentrate. This is an important moment. He needs to be watching Yoongi. He can’t afford to be lightheaded right now. But then Hoseok is pulling away, and, instead of getting Namjoon to focus, it only makes him hazier.

Yoongi holds both sides of Namjoon’s head and forces Namjoon to look him in the eyes. Good. That’s helpful. Something concrete to focus on. Yoongi’s eyes dart between Namjoon’s, like he’s searching for something. Namjoon’s not sure what.

“Spread your legs a bit,” Yoongi says. “Make space for Seok.”

Namjoon spreads his legs beneath Yoongi’s and watched Hoseok get settled behind Yoongi.

“Are you okay?” Namjoon asks, regaining some of his composure.

Yoongi nods, getting down onto his forearms and pressing his forehead to Namjoon’s. Yoongi’s hard cock lies against Namjoon’s stomach.

“You feel amazing,” Yoongi breathes. “I can’t wait for Seok to be in me too.”

“I’m gonna push in another finger now, okay hyung?” Hoseok asks. He’s doing something behind Yoongi, his hand moving around. Namjoon can’t see what.

“Yes,” Yoongi answers, and if Namjoon couldn’t feel Hoseok’s finger pushing into Yoongi alongside his cock, he’d be able to see it in Yoongi’s eyes.

So much determination. So much concentration. Deep breaths and holding Namjoon’s gaze so hard Namjoon can’t help but get a bit more determined and concentrated as well. Fucking feeding off him. Namjoon can’t help it.

“How much does it hurt?” Namjoon asks, Hoseok’s finger pushing all the way inside Yoongi. God, Namjoon can feel it.  

“It hurts,” Yoongi answers simply, voice calm, breathing deeply. Yoongi’s cock is still hard though, thank god.

Namjoon feels Hoseok’s finger pull back and push back in.

“Don’t,” Yoongi says, turning to Hoseok slightly. “Don’t fuck me with it. Get another one in then fuck me. I don’t want your fingers fucking me, I want you.”

Hoseok cups Yoongi’s cheek, turns Yoongi’s head and kisses him, then he nods.

Namjoon feels Hoseok pull that one finger out and place two at Yoongi’s hole.

“Now,” Yoongi says, and Hoseok pushes in.

Yoongi’s hands drop from Namjoon’s head to Namjoon’s shoulders, his fingers digging in hard. It takes a moment longer for Hoseok to push those two fingers in all the way. Namjoon cannot even imagine the pain. He does not understand how Yoongi’s going through it so calmly. Calmly but not without pain. Namjoon knows Yoongi too well to not notice the way he’s fighting his eyebrows from furrowing, the way he’s leaving marks on Namjoon’s shoulders with his nails, even through Namjoon’s shirt.

Namjoon cups Yoongi’s cheeks, “You’re doing so amazing. So amazing.”

Yoongi swallows hard and exhales deeply.

“A third finger?” Hoseok asks, and Namjoon’s glad that Hoseok sounds focused. Not spacing out after all. That’s good. Because Namjoon is still a bit lightheaded.

“No,” Yoongi says. “Just take them out, put a condom on and push in. Slowly.”

“Sure?” Hoseok asks, dragging his fingers out of Yoongi.

Yoongi nods, sighing when Hoseok’s fingers come out.

There’s a second of calm while Hoseok is getting the condom on, and, rubbing his hands up and down on Yoongi’s thighs, Namjoon thinks about how his phone might ring any second and they’ll have to leave. He thinks about how there’s a possibility that, instead of watching the doors the way they’re supposed to, Jeongguk and Seokjin might be watching them right now. Hell, maybe Jimin and Taehyung decided to take turns watching the door in favor of checking out what’s going on too. Namjoon looks off to the sides of the stage. There’s no one there.

“Where are you?” Namjoon hears Yoongi’s voice suddenly.

He turns to Yoongi, and Yoongi catches his gaze.

“Stop thinking,” Yoongi whispers, and Namjoon feels the blunt head of Hoseok’s cock press against the top of Namjoon’s shaft. “Everything’s okay. Whatever you’re thinking about, stop it, be with us.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon exhales. Yoongi’s right. Namjoon should be here right now.

“Are you ready?” Yoongi asks.

Namjoon’s eyes widen. He’s supposed to be asking that question, “Are you?”

“Yes,” Yoongi answers calmly. “Tell me that you are too.”

Namjoon swallows, digging his fingers into Yoongi’s thighs, “I am.”

“Seok, baby,” Yoongi says, leaning down and pressing his face into the crook of Namjoon’s neck. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Hoseok gets in. Somehow, he gets in, and Namjoon hears Yoongi hiss before he realizes just how tight Yoongi feels right now. Namjoon can see Hoseok now that Yoongi’s bent down too. Hoseok’s breathing shakily, swallowing, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Fuck,” Namjoon whispers when the tip of Hoseok’s goes all the way in.

Yoongi whimpers, and Namjoon lays one hand at the small of Yoongi’s back, rubbing circles, and the other one Namjoon places at the nape of Yoongi’s neck, possessive. Reassuring. Namjoon’s right here.

“Don’t pause,” Yoongi chokes out, and Namjoon doesn’t understand what Yoongi’s talking about until Hoseok continues pushing in.

Yoongi whimpers again, and Namjoon’s hands tighten both on his back and on his neck.

“Hyung,” Hoseok whispers.

Yoongi hums in question. Namjoon notices that Yoongi’s cock is still hard and thanks whatever it is out there that made Yoongi into pain like this.

“Hyung,” Hoseok repeats, not saying anything else. Namjoon understands how he feels.

“More, more,” Yoongi urges. “Just go. All the way, come on.”

Hoseok leans forward and braces his hands beside Namjoon’s head, beginning to push in steadily. Namjoon’s never felt anything like this. Nothing at all. So tight. Hoseok’s shaft dragging forward against his own. Namjoon thinks he might be burning from the inside out. And then he imagines doing this without condoms and has to take a calming breath himself. The idea of coming inside of Yoongi together with Hoseok is slightly overwhelming.

He hears Yoongi whimper again and feels Yoongi’s lips press to his neck, then move aside to his shoulder. Hoseok’s arms are shaking. Yoongi is shaking, Namjoon realizes, so he holds Yoongi even tighter. When Yoongi’s teeth latch onto Namjoon’s shoulder, Namjoon doesn’t even think to stop him.

“Bite, baby,” Namjoon encourages. “Bite.”

And Yoongi does. And it hurts. Though it would probably hurt more if Namjoon’s shirt wasn’t in the way. But it feels good too. The pain feels good. Yoongi feels good. Hoseok feels good. The mark that Yoongi will inevitably leave already feels good. Hoseok pushes all the way in, his balls lying against the very base of Namjoon’s shaft, and Namjoon feels lightheaded once again.

Everything pauses for a second. Neither Namjoon nor Hoseok nor Yoongi is moving. They’re all panting. Yoongi’s probably trying to adjust. Namjoon is trying to adjust too. Hoseok breathes out shakily and presses his forehead to Yoongi’s back, so Namjoon can’t see his facial expression anymore.

Yoongi’s breathing calms down after a bit, and he unclasps his teeth from Namjoon’s shoulder.

“Seok, move,” Yoongi says, and Hoseok does, pulling out and pushing in, and Namjoon’s eyes roll back at the feeling.

Yoongi moans, lifting himself on his forearms, taking deep breaths. His eyes are partway rolled back.

“Hurts?” Namjoon asks. His shoulder is throbbing where Yoongi bit it. Namjoon can’t wait to look at it. Marked. They never do it, but they’re being rebellious, and it feels so good.

Yoongi nods.

“Is it good pain?” Namjoon asks.

Yoongi exhales shakily and nods again.

“Faster, Seok,” Yoongi says.

Hoseok whimpers, keeps his forehead pressed to Yoongi’s back but picks up the speed anyway.

“Fuck,” Yoongi’s eyes clench tight, his hand wiggling between his and Namjoon’s bodies and wrapping around his own cock. Still hard. Thank god. “Faster.”

Hoseok goes faster, every push forward making his balls slap against Namjoon’s shaft. Fuck, Namjoon’s going to come so fast.

Yoongi groans. It sounds like frustration.

“Are you okay?” Namjoon asks, placing one hand onto Yoongi’s cheek and turning Yoongi’s face.

“I want you to take the condoms off,” Yoongi says, and the desperation in his voice is obvious. “God, fuck, please take the condoms off. Shouldn’t have fucking put them on in the first place.”

“It’s cleaner this way,” Namjoon tells him. “We’ve talked about it.”

“I don’t care,” Yoongi shakes his head. “I don’t care, I don’t care. I want you to come in me, please take them off. Please. Fucking please.”

Hoseok stops moving.

“Seok, pull out, take it off, take Joon out and take it off him to,” Yoongi urges. “Please.”

It’s shocking, the feeling of Hoseok slipping out. Yoongi clamps down on Namjoon’s cock like it’s trying to make up for the loss. Namjoon brushes hair off Yoongi’s forehead, dazedly watching Hoseok place the condom onto the edge of the blanket.

Hoseok doesn’t even have to pull Namjoon out of Yoongi, because Yoongi ends up doing it himself, quickly lifting himself up and off Namjoon’s length. And then Hoseok takes the condom off Namjoon and pours more cold lube onto Namjoon overheated skin. Yoongi grabs Namjoon’s shaft, sits back onto it with a gasp, leans close to Namjoon, and, when Hoseok pushes into Yoongi once again, Namjoon kisses Yoongi hard.

Yoongi doesn’t actually kiss back. He only gasps, and Namjoon opens his eyes to find that Yoongi’s eyes have rolled back so much he can barely see brown anymore. Yoongi’s mouth is hanging open, and Namjoon plans to watch him, he does, to watch his reactions, but then he realizes that he can feel Hoseok’s bare hard cock, moving against Namjoon’s own shaft with no latex between them, and he can’t concentrate on anything anymore.

“Fuck, yes,” Yoongi chokes out. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

“How does it feel?” Hoseok asks, voice shaking.

“So full,” Yoongi answers. “So big. So hot, fuck, I can’t wait for you to fill me up. Joon, can you try thrusting too?”

Namjoon’s not sure he can do anything right now, but he grabs Yoongi’s hips and pushes up anyway.

They all moan.

“I’m gonna be dripping your come all the way back to the hotel,” Yoongi says, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Gonna gape and drip and-“ he moans. His hand comes between himself and Namjoon again, wrapping around his cock and stroking. “I’m gonna come so fast,” he pauses. “Harder,” it takes Namjoon a few seconds to follow the instruction. “Harder, faster.”

Hoseok and Namjoon both pick up the speed, and if Namjoon was burning before, he’s on fucking fire now. They really are so fucking close right now. Namjoon takes one hand off Yoongi’s hip and places in on Hoseok’s forearm. Hoseok catches Namjoon’s gaze, and Namjoon moves his hand higher, to Hoseok’s neck, tugging Hoseok closer. Kissing him. Hoseok whimpers.

Namjoon thrusts a bit faster, trying to synchronize with Hoseok, but it’s not working. They keep rubbing up against each other at slightly different rhythms, slightly different motions, and it’s only working to drive Namjoon insane.

“I’m gonna come,” Hoseok whispers all of the sudden, still thrusting fast, Yoongi still stroking himself.

“Fuck, that’s so hot,” Yoongi moans. “Gonna come all over Namjoon inside of me.”

“Fuck,” Namjoon exclaims, just the idea bringing his own orgasm so much closer.

Namjoon can feel it when Hoseok comes. It’s hot and wet, and it covers Namjoon’s shaft and makes everything slicker. Easier to move. So, Namjoon moves, finally pushing up harder.

Hoseok doesn’t pull out. He’s still hard inside of Yoongi, still coming, and Namjoon is fucking Hoseok through it without fucking Hoseok at all. Yoongi buries his face in Namjoon’s neck again and moans. A lot louder than before. Namjoon thinks about how Jeongguk and Seokjin might have heard Yoongi just now, but he doesn’t care. He fucks Yoongi hard, straining every muscle in his body.

Namjoon’s head tilts back with the effort, and then his eyes open, he sees the ceiling, so high up, so far away, and his head spins. He holds Yoongi and Hoseok tighter, fucks them harder and leans his head further back, looking. So many seats, it’s all fucking upside down, and Namjoon’s head fills with screams and cheers, and he worries he might be losing his mind for a second, but then a whimper from Hoseok and another loud moan from Yoongi pull him back to reality.

“Yoongi, I’m going to come too,” Namjoon warns. He doesn’t want to come, not before Yoongi, but he’s going to, and there’s nothing he’s going to be able to do to stop it.

“Harder,” Yoongi moans, and Namjoon does as he says, feeling Hoseok’s cock finally begin to soften against his own inside of Yoongi.

The hand Yoongi has between their torsos moves faster. And faster. And faster. Until it’s not moving at all, and Yoongi is spilling between their stomachs.

Namjoon comes too. He comes so hard his vision goes dark around the edges. He closes his eyes, the screams and moans and cheers and whimpers all mixing, and he keeps thrusting. He keeps thrusting, and Yoongi is moaning so loudly Jeongguk and Seokjin can definitely hear him now. But Yoongi doesn’t stop moaning, and Namjoon doesn’t stop thrusting, and Hoseok’s forearms are not shaking anymore because he’s slumped over Yoongi’s back, exhausted.

Hoseok’s cock slips out when Namjoon’s thrusting slows down. Yoongi’s body gives in too, but Namjoon keeps rocking into him anyway. Little thrusts. Barely even thrusts at all. There’s no power behind them. He keeps his eyes closed, afraid that if he’ll open them, the world will be spinning. It’s just so nice and warn and wet inside of Yoongi.

“Joon,” Yoongi breathes, brushing his thumb over Namjoon’s cheek. “Joon.”

Namjoon reluctantly opens his eyes, finally stopping his hips. God, Yoongi’s cheeks are so pink.

Hoseok is looking over at Namjoon too, exhausted but smiling.

“Seok, come here,” Namjoon whispers, and Hoseok gracelessly drops off Yoongi and onto the blanket next to Namjoon.

Namjoon kisses him. He’s still inside Yoongi, he remembers. But he doesn’t want to pull out, and Yoongi doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to make him.

“Happy late birthday to me,” Hoseok says into the kiss, a big smile breaking across his face.

Namjoon kisses Hoseok’s nose and smiles too. Then it’s Yoongi’s turn to kiss Hoseok. And then Namjoon. And he still doesn’t make Namjoon pull out.

“I love you,” Namjoon says when Yoongi pulls away from him. He turns to Hoseok, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Hoseok says, nuzzling his nose against Namjoon’s temple.

“I love you three,” Yoongi smiles, laying his head onto Namjoon’s chest, his hand finding Hoseok’s, tangling their fingers together.

Namjoon looks up at the ceiling again. It’s still far, but at least it’s not moving anymore. The dizziness lessened. He’s just left with pleasure now. Pleasure and happiness.

On the floor of an arena, inside Yoongi with Hoseok’s come dripping all down his shaft, holding his two babies in his arms, Namjoon couldn’t be happier.

He just couldn’t.

“My babies,” Namjoon whispers.

“Yours,” Hoseok says, and Yoongi nods on Namjoon’s chest, his eyelids drooping.

“Mine,” Namjoon sighs, smiling.