Just A Girl
“So... would you like to maybe, sorta, gooutwithme?”
I scrunched up my face, running through the words I just heard. Took me a few mins to actually separate the run. I replayed it in my head. “You mean like you wanna grab some grub after patrol?” I asked, trying to clarify.
I saw her stiff shoulders, release just a bit and I heard her sigh. “No... I don't mean...” She looked up at me and felt a sudden bout of nervousness rise up within me. “No.. I meant like on an actual bonafied...date.” She finally blew out the breath she'd pulled in and held.
“Oh.” I muttered. I looked at the ground and then back at her. “Really.” I'm pretty sure my face was scrunched up. “With me?” I asked, pointing at myself.
I pointed at her. “With you?” I queried. I couldn't believe it. “Like... girl on girl?”
So my babbling, caused her to babble as well. “Well... not.. girl on girl... I mean like not right now... now it's just maybe girl by girl, no on.. well no on at the moment, cause that'd be too soon and I don't do the on, I've neverdonetheon, just so you know.” She hesitated and looked up at me, her face growing red. “... not that I don't want to just... well... the by should be first then the build up to the on parts....” Her voice trailed off and I smiled at her. Jesus she was killing me. I had to save her though, I couldn't just let her continue.... although God knows I sure wanted to hear her carry on.
“I'd love to B.” I smiled at her. It took her a few seconds to get that I said yes but when she did. She beamed up at me.
So I walked her to her door, us bumping our shoulders as we talked and made plans. It was on. Friday night and I was excited. Our fingers touched as we said goodnight and as I walked back to my motel, I glanced back several times to find her watching and smiling at me still.
I was beyond stoked. And truth be told... I kinda felt like I had a love at first sight thing happening here, at least on my part. I'd heard of it before, but never, ever, in a million years did I think I'd be that lucky.
Friday was here before I knew it. Excited? Way beyond. I had one expensive pair of jeans. I never wore them unless it was a special occasion. It was. They fit just right, not too tight, just snug enough to accentuate my ass. Same deal with the shirt: It was better quality than I usually wore and it certainly made my boobs look breathtaking. I had some dark brown motorcycle boots with a matching, jacket. I was looking good, chic. I donned my cross necklace, went light on the makeup, using soft browns to bring out my eyes and lips.
I splurged and got a haircut. Not much... just an inch or two off the bottom, with a few light layers so the natural curl could do it's thing. I had a few highlights added to add to the natural raven colors my hair threw off.
I had a tiny bit of light blue by D & G and I sprayed it on my pulse points lightly. I was ready, nervous and I sat down to wait for her to pick me up.
After 3 hours of waiting, I grabbed my keys and went out. I headed to the bronze and just sulked in a corner and watched the people dance. Someone bought me a beer and I took it and left soon after I drank it. I took off for the weekend. I just went to the beach and hung out. I didn't really wanna hang around the fang gang.
I felt like I'd been punked for real... didn't need them laughing at me or talking bout me more than they already did.
I showed up in the library Monday and gee, you'd think I was the one in the wrong, the way Blondie kept shooting daggers at me. I'd finally had enough and I grabbed B's arm as she tried to brush past me, rolling her eyes.
“Why are you acting like that?” I asked.
She huffed and snatched her arm out of my hand. I got upset and stood up, looking down on her. “If anyone has the right to be upset here... it's me.” I moved in closer, my voice lowering so everyone didn't get a show. “You made me look and feel like a chump.”
Her mouth fell open and then she pulled in something akin to righteous indignation. “You stood me up Faith.... if you didn't want to go out with me, you should have just said no.” She huffed and turned to leave.
I grabbed her again and spun her around. “You.” I pointed at her. “Stood me up.” I clarified, pointing at myself. “I waited for 3 hours and you didn't show, call or anything.” I ran my hand through my hair and shook my head, disgusted.
She pulled in a deep breath. “No... I waited for you and you didn't show at all.” She informed. I looked at her, pieces clicking into place.
“You waited for me?” I asked. “I waited for you.”
She scrunched up her face. “Why would you wait for me?” She asked: Blonde, enough said, bottle or not.
I looked at her, cause I had other pieces starting to click into place. “Uhm... because you asked me out?” I answered.
“Yeah.. but you're the....” Her voice died, like went limp.
“I'm the what?” I looked at her harshly. Click. Yeah I just got the full meal deal. And... yeah... I think I might be just a bit... offended.
“You think I'm some sort of bull dyke don't ya?” I glared at her. Her face went super nova. Silence encircled us. I stepped forward, putting myself into her space. “I'm from Boston. Yeah I may dress a bit different than you gals from Cali but... I'm wearing girl clothes, leather, boots, studs, whatever.. it doesn't really matter.... the fact is that I shave...wear makeup, nail polish and keep myself just as spiffy as the next girl... and I am..a girl. I probably like the same kind of shit that you do... flowers, music a bit of romance... I'm not some... whatever you think I am... and you asked me out, so I did what any girl would do, I got nervous, got ready and tried to make myself look attractive for you and I waited and you didn't show.”
I was really upset. “Trust me when I tell you twinkie... where I come from … I'm all girl... I may not be.” I moved my hand in a circle at her. “All girl like you... but I'm a girl none the less.”
My anger died and the hurt started creeping back in. “I'm just a girl.” I sighed and walked away. I didn't even care if anyone was watching.
I stayed away for a couple of days. Didn't bother answering the door when someone knocked either. The manager stuffed a note under the door, telling me to meet at the library... another monster of the week. I threw on some track pants, tennis shoes, pulled my hair up in a pony tail and went.
I walked in and all heads turned and stared at me. Whatever. I sat on the table and waited.
“Hey.” She whispered.
“Hey...” I replied.
I looked at the ground but I could feel it as she sat on the table next to me. “I'm sorry.” She muttered. She turned, facing me, her hand reaching out and touching me. “We got off to a bad start... but it was all just a misunderstanding really.”
I looked up at her. She continued. “I got so wrapped up in my own excitement... it never occurred to me that you'd feel the same way as me... I've never...” She hesitated. “Well, I've never liked another girl before.... I just assumed it'd work the same way... that's not an excuse mind you... just an explanation.”
I nodded. “So... maybe we could try it again?” She queried. “And since I'm asking again, this time I'll definitely show up and maybe we could talk a bit more in depth this time... so we both know what's really going on and we won't just be assuming...”
I half smiled. “Maybe we can get some breakfast and talk about it after the meeting.” I left the invite hanging open.
“Oh, there's no meeting... I just wanted to.. well talk to you and acknowledge my part in the big mix up and see if you wanted to give it another go.”
I looked at her and laughed. “You're really something else, you know that right?”
She nodded. “Been called a lot worse.” I smiled at her.
“Me too.” I nodded.
So me and B were doing the.... I don't know... dating thing... meaning we hung out, patrolled together, ate together... shared some hand holding, some hugging action... and not to sound smug or anything but we'd been getting in a fair amount of kissing. This past week though, we'd upgraded to touching... I don't mean just on top of clothes touching, but we'd been testing and teasing the lay of the land underneath, you get my meaning? Things were progressing pretty good.
“That was pretty good.” I said as I looked over at her. “For a chick flick.” I added. “Did you like it?” I asked.
“Mmm hmmm.” She mumbled. She rolled on top of me, her leg falling in between mine. “It was kinda hard to concentrate on it.” She smiled at me, leaning in and capturing my lips with hers. I sighed as she rolled her hips against me, my hands automatically moving to grip her ass and pull her tighter against me.
She moaned into my mouth and we caught fire. Hands grasping, clawing, pulling, trying to get as much contact as they could. I flipped her and slithered against her, my hand expertly undoing the snap, the zipper, tugging the opening wider. I started pushing them down, stopping only when she bit my lip.
I smiled, running my tongue over her lip before easing it inside her mouth. My hand trailed the band of her panties, burrowed underneath the silky fabric and touched the soft folds, dipping in, gathering the wetness before my fingers found and stimulated her clit.
I pulled back and watched her face as my fingers slicked over her. I could watch this all night. I freed her breasts with my free hand and leaned in, laving it, pulling it slightly with my teeth, my eyes closing as I concentrated on her center, the wetness growing, the heat climbing.
I added pressure and she started squirming underneath me. Her nails dug in. I covered her with my body, my mouth biting her earlobe, my moans and hot breath hitting against her ear.
She thrashed underneath me, gasping, her body arching up into me. She cried out, her breaths frantic and urgent. I smiled, completely in awe, slowing my ministrations, dragging them out. “Oh my God.” She rasped, her voice wrecked.
We laughed together. She sat up, pushing me off of her. “Oh my God.” She cried out. She jumped up, finding and fixing her clothing. She turned and faced me before she ran out. “I forgot something.” She adjusted her clothes once again. “Sorry.” She called out as she ran from the room.
She's been doing that a lot the last few days. Running off. Doesn't really say anything, just bolts. I'm not really sure what's going on. Must be some big bag again.
Hello... Slayer here... well second string, whatever. I couldn't believe she'd just ran out on me. Got hers, got gone. Not like I'd never heard of that before, didn't mean I had to like it though
The morning brought in with it a new load of bullshit. Xander had been out wandering the night before and he'd caught Buffy with her old Beau Angel and they were doing a lot more than talking. Rumors were running rampant. I sat there and took it all in. Kinda made sense now, all the running off... well that and not to mention all the lies. I felt a lot shafted. Used. Jilted. Add into that I got a new watcher and things... well they were just off.
I couldn't look at her while she tried to stand before their accusations, the betrayal. No wonder we were keeping us on the down low. I got up to walk out. “Faith... wait.” She called out to me. I kept right on walking.
“Faith.. please.” She reached out, touching my arm. I swung around.
“You let that dead thing touch you... kiss you?” I spat. I pulled my arm from her grasp.
She deflated a bit. “That was unexpected. It caught me off guard and I kinda spazzed out just a bit before I came to my senses and pulled away.”
“He did all those things to you, your friends, your family and he gets a free pass...forgiven?” I couldn't believe my ears or the way my heart was betraying me.
“I didn't know he'd lose his soul.” She whispered. “It was my first time. I didn't have a clue he'd wake up more monster than man.”
I stepped forward. “I got news for you. He is a monster. He'll always be a monster til somebody puts a piece of wood through his un-beating heart.”
“No, it's not like that.” She whispered.
I scoffed. “Yeah. It's exactly like that. You hiding him, lying for him, doing...” I couldn't bring myself to say it. “You're choosing him over them... me.” I added.
She looked up at me. “I would never choose him over you.” She watched me.
“What do you call leaving me in the bed alone, running off just to end up locking lips... and getting caught no less.” I ran my hand through my hair. “I can't even get comfort from any of them cause I'm nothing but some dirty little secret.”
“You're not a secret.” I whispered.
I looked at her. “Yeah... right.” I turned and walked away.
I ended up at the house of the living dead's. Let me be honest.... the scoobs, they totally ramped up my anger and hatred for the dude. Not to mention he was old as hell... way way pervy... like some kind of kiddy diddler.
I wanted to end him and I damned sure tried. Came close and guess who stopped me. Guess who kicked my face in and to add insult to injury... kicked me in the literal heart. And I'm not metaphorically speaking.
Add into that my equally evil new watcher and well things couldn't get any worse. She chose him, helped him kick my ass. Ran to him, hugging him, putting herself in front of him while I lay bleeding on the floor.
I glared at them as I pushed myself up off the floor and looked at the crispy fried watcher lady. My blood boiled. I spat and snarled at them as I turned and strode from the lair. I was her freaking beard and I hated them for it.
I killed every piece of evil in sight on my way back to mine, crawled up in the bed and sat back against the headboard. I pulled a bottle of whiskey from the drawer and started drinking. Hours passed before the knocks sounded on my door.
I pulled in another drink. The more she knocked the angrier I became. I didn't need to hear any more excuses, any more lies but I got up anyway and flung the door open.
I stared at her, almost through her. “Are you okay?” She asked. I refused to speak. She wrung her hands, biting her lip. “I just don't want you to be ma...”
I slammed the door shut and bolted it.
Why would I be mad?
I'm just a girl...