I can hear myself breathing heavily. Feel my soft blanket surrounding and comforting me. My stuffed bunny named Ni clutched in my right arm.
I blinked the tears out of my eyes and looked at my left wrist. Where I’d earlier scrawled “Niall and Louis” in pen, with hearts for dots on the ‘i’’s like we always wrote. Somehow seeing it written on my arm made my heart hurt a little less. Made my omega’s whines soften a little bit.
I glanced at my phone beside me, seeing that it was the 14th of July. Meaning Niall had been away for exactly three weeks today. I hadn’t seen my twin in three weeks.
I knew I’d always had a strong attachment to Niall. We had always done everything together, at most we would only ever be apart for a few hours. It was common for twin omegas to be very attached to each other, and only be able to be apart for long periods of time when both were mated.
I knew, from learning it at school and hearing stories, that an unmated omega separated from their twin for more than a few days would be very difficult. Yet I never understood that it would be this hard. That despite my brain knowing that Niall was okay and that I was okay, I wasn’t able to get out of bed for more than a few minutes. That even breathing was really painful, and the only things that helped alleviate the pain somewhat were stupid things like scrawling my name with Niall’s name on my arm in pen.
I am so proud of Niall, for going to X-Factor. For sticking his neck out in such a brutal industry, tough for anyone but especially an omega. I knew it was hard for him to be apart from me too, but Niall had mated a few months back so it was a lot easier on him. Especially since Zayn was with Niall in London. Zayn isn’t auditioning, but any omega is (legally) allowed to bring one person with them for anything that requires several days away from their home. Not because we’re weak. We aren’t weak. It’s just harder for us to be away from someone who can provide us with the care that we need. Like cuddles. And punishments.
Breathing was hard again. I knew I just had to tough it out for a bit longer. Be strong like Niall. I am so proud of him, and yet the tears stung my eyes as my chest felt really heavy.
I could hear mummy and papa in the living room as my door was cracked open. They were murmuring about how they didn’t know what to do. I knew they were worried, and I wanted to tell them I was fine. But I knew I wasn’t, and my omega wouldn’t let me lie to them like that. So I just continued to lay in my bed, with my bunny Ni.
My phone screen lit up, and started to vibrate. I glanced down and blinked the tears out of my eyes, really hoping it was Niall.
Cookie <3 is calling, it said.
I breathed out a long sigh. I felt so relieved. I scrambled to get my phone into my right hand, dropping Ni the bunny to answer the phone.
‘Cookie,’ Niall’s soft voice murmured through the phone.
I breathed heavily, trying not to cry. To show Niall I could be strong too.
‘Cookie,’ I sobbed. I missed hearing Niall’s voice so much. I reached for Ni with my left hand, petting his soft ears. I focused on the soft ears for a while, trying to get my breathing in control. I didn’t want to just cry down the phone again. I wanted to actually talk to my cookie.
‘Louis… Louis,’ Niall’s voice kept saying, and I suddenly realized I had stopped listening to what he was saying.
‘Cookie did you hear what I said?’
‘I… no… sorry I didn’t… I was just… I was…’ I stumbled out.
‘It’s alright cookie. I have some amazing news for you, really really good news. I promise.’
‘What?’ I asked, loosening my grip on the bunny’s ear so that I wouldn’t zone out and miss what Niall was saying again.
‘Zayn is talking to mummy and papa. I got permission for you to come stay with me too. I know this has been hard for you, and I want you to…’
I couldn’t help it. I have no idea what Niall was saying anymore I felt so relieved. I could go see my cookie. Be with my cookie. I missed him so much. My omega whined, not understanding that I would need to somehow get to London from here. I needed to go to a different country, how was I going to get there when I couldn’t even get out of bed. But cookie. I wanted to go see cookie. I should pack.
‘I… I’ll pack. When? How? What? Wait what did you say????” I tried to ask too many questions at once and now I have no idea what I was even asking.
‘I’m so excited too cookie,’ Niall said. I could hear how happy he was from his voice.
‘Zayn is working it out now with mummy and papa,’ he continued, ‘either Zayn will come and get you or mummy or papa will come bring you. You can come as soon as you can, we’ll let them figure everything out, and you can focus your energy on packing and getting over here to me in one happy piece. Okay cookie?’
‘Yeah, I can do that,’ I said, looking over into my closet. I was already visualizing what I was going to pack, and I could breathe easier now knowing not only was Niall with me now on the phone, but that I would be with him in real life soon.
‘Mummy and papa will let you know everything when they have it sorted out cookie. I’m sorry I can’t talk for longer, but I wanted to be the one to tell you. I couldn’t wait until later when I had more time. I have to go rehearse now, I’m sorry cookie. I love you. See you soon!’
‘Bye Niall, I love you too,’ I said, and put down the phone. I paused for a few seconds, letting a smile take over my face. I was ready. Ready to go and see Niall again.