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boys like boys like girls do (nothing new)

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Always gonna steal your thunder, watch me like a dark cloud

On the move collecting numbers, Imma take your girl out

We will be everything that we'd ever need
Don't tell me, tell me what I feel
I'm real and I don't feel like boys
I'm real and I don't feel like boys

 

Saw your face, heard your name
Gotta get with you
Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new

Isn't this why we came?
Gotta get with you
Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new
Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new

- Hayley Kiyoko - Girls Like Girls Lyrics 


 

Yoongi rides his bike down the streets of Seoul with a busted lip and a used to be broken heart. The right side of his face is painted red, black, and blue, barely covered by a measly bandage. A bruise is forming on the surface of his plump, baby fat cheek. His pale, flustered skin is painted with splotches of dried blood. Scabs, pepper themselves between the bijou scratches and punctures. His legs are wobbly, forcing his bike to shake from side to side. His knuckles are a ghostly white from clutching the handlebars with the grip of death. The breeze cools the perspiration beneath his minty locks.

He cries.

❤︎ 

MESSAGE

Taehyung: Hey, are you still coming over today? I was thinking we could order something. The others are coming over later. My dad also got the pool cleaned so I was thinking we could maybe go for a swim before they get here. Just let me know. 

12:06 P.M.

20-07-2018

You: Yeah. I'll be there soon. 

12:08 P.M.

20-07-2018

❤︎ 

Saying that Taehyung's parents are rich, is an understatement. His dad worked overseas a lot with some big company that made gaming consoles, and his mother owned a boutique. His house was practically a mansion and it made no sense because sometimes, the boy carried himself as if he had no home training at all. He was childish and impulsive and sometimes, he was a downright brat. 

Yoongi didn't mind it though. The kid's childish antics made his heart flutter with content.

If the both of them were as mature as Yoongi, then nothing would be fun.

He pressed a timid finger to the doorbell, the alarming buzz resonating throughout the large corridor. He pulls on the straps of his Kumamon backpack, biting his lip. He looked up and into the daylight. The sun’s rays were violently beating down on Yoongi. He thinks back to this morning when he picked out his clothes to wear.

A sky blue Puma sweater, jeans, and white converse.

Probably not the best idea, but he gets cold easily. Sue him.

He flicks away a bead of sweat and tries the doorbell one more time. He's makes a mental note to punch Taehyung when he finally answers the door. The brat was making him suffer in this heat, and for what?

He was probably too busy watching something on Netflix, playing a video game, or doing something else unproductive. 

"I'm coming!"  Yoongi hears beyond the doorframe in front of him, followed by a few quick and dainty steps that made the dali oak floorboards creak. Yoongi hears the clicks of locks and the squeak of complaint that the door emits upon being swung open so aggressively. A splash of yellow assaults Yoongi's retinas and he steps back a little as Taehyung gasps dramatically. Yoongi inwardly rolls his eyes. No wonder Taehyung is going into college as a theatre major. He puts 110% into every gesture he makes.

"Yoongi-hyung!" The younger but taller boy throws himself at Yoongi. His arms wrap around his neck tightly, threatening to close off his supply of air and suffocate him. His cheek presses against Yoongi's temple, forcing the shorter of the two to grunt uncomfortably. Taehyung pulls away, a tussle of hazel curls beneath a yellow snapback, a tee shirt to match, and overalls, along with a pair of fuzzy dandelion socks. Yoongi pulls back his arm.

Punch

"Ow! What was that for?" Taehyung manages to say in a fit of giggles. The punch stung, but it was more cute than anything to see a grumpy Yoongi. Taehyung loved the pout that his lips did naturally when he was bothered in some way. It made Taehyung want to coo in delight. He really missed his good friend.

"For having me wait." Taehyung snorted.

"You barely waited hyung." 

Punch

"Hyung! What was that one for?!"

"Because I wanted to." Taehyung pops his lips and grabs Yoongi's arm. 

"Well come in then, it's really hot out here. We don't want you to die of heat stroke now." Yoongi lets Taehyung drag him inside, the pout still apparent on his pink lips. 

The breeze that smacks Yoongi in the face upon walking inside Taehyung's home is breathtaking. It immediately relieves his skin from the sun's rage and he is forever grateful. He takes in a deep breath, thanking the heavens for air conditioning.

Yoongi's perception of space is completely altered when he enters Taehyung's household. Yoongi doesn't think he's ever seen one room that was this big. He notices the glass coffee table with a few books on top of it. The large flat screen TV was set above the unlit fire place. The shelves of the entertainment center contained an assortment of colorful DVDs and video games, along with a few family photos that rested above them on the top shelf.

Yoongi freezes in his spot when he notices that someone else is in the room with them.

Hidden behind the top of the chocolate colored leather couch is a sleek hill of raven hair, glossing with sheen. Yoongi's heart pounds with dread.

"Yah, aegiyah, who's that at the door?" Says the high pitched, squeaky voice that makes Yoongi want to scream.

"It's Yoongi-hyung. He's going to hang with us today if that's cool." Yoongi frowns. He doesn't like that Taehyung feels the need to run everything by her first.

"Oh. Hey." She murmurs after pulling out a headphone.

"Hi." She doesn't even turn around as she puts the headphone back in. The closer Yoongi gets, he can see that the girl is on her phone, scrolling through some social media site that Yoongi probably doesn't even check. He suppresses his eye roll and raises a hand to bite his finger nail, a nervous habit. 

Taehyung slaps his hand. Yoongi knits his brows together, nose scrunching in irritation.

"Why, just why." Taehyung shakes his head.

"I don't like when you do that. Look." Taehyung lifts Yoongi's hand so he can see the damage done. Yoongi's cuticles are pushed back and wrinkled, the nail uneven and not even reaching the tip of where his finger begins. The skin is scabbed and tinted pink there. Taehyung frowns. Yoongi snatches his hand away and he soon regrets it when he sees Taehyung's eyes widen in disturbance. Yoongi looks at the floor.

"Sorry." He mumbles, not meeting Taehyung's gaze. He looks up when Taehyung exhales, humming slightly as he does so.

"It's okay. Come to the kitchen with me real quick." Yoongi follows Taehyung around a corner. He looks out into the screen door that leads to the patio. He doesn't notice Taehyung reach for a pack of cigarettes on the kitchen counter. He takes a stick out from the pack, digging a lighter from the depths of his pocket. Yoongi finally looks at him, breath hitching in his throat as Taehyung places the cigarette to his lip, igniting the tip of it with the orange flame.

"You smoke." It's not a question. Yoongi's stare is blank. He doesn't know what he's feeling, but if the nausea pooling in his gut isn't clear enough, it's not good. Taehyung laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah."

"Why?" Taehyung draws the poison in. He pushes the smoke out from his nostrils.

"Yuna's brother got me into it."

"I don't like that."

"Hyung-"

"I don't like that Tae." Taehyung gives him a sharp look.

"I don't do it often."

"That doesn't matter. You smoke now."

"You smoke too, don't you?"

"No, I don't." Taehyung hoists himself up onto the counter and makes a grabby hand for Yoongi to come join him. Yoongi crosses his arms.

"Sit with me. Come on." Yoongi's gaze doesn't falter and Taehyung throws his head back to groan. "Yoongi-hyung, sit up here with me, please?" Yoongi stays still for a moment, before complying. He presses his palms against the counter and jumps, pushing himself to sit next to Taehyung. He purposely places himself a foot away. Taehyung adjusts and makes up for the space by scooting closer, pressing his leg against Yoongi's. He sucks on the cigarette. 

He blows the smoke to his right, aiming the stream of toxins a hair away from Yoongi's face. A devilish smile plays upon Taehyung's lips and Yoongi doesn't dare move. The sweetly singed smell of the cigarette makes Yoongi shiver, his nose burning. It smells good.

"Taehyung-ah."

"I'm sorry. Here," Taehyung hands him the cigarette, "try it, just once." Yoongi eyes the cigarette as if it's a snake, ready to impale its teeth into his flesh. Yuna walks into the kitchen. She grabs a beer from the fridge and goes to sit back down. They watch her until she leaves. It's almost as if her presence has paused the scene between him and Taehyung. Yoongi stares Taehyung dead in the face.

"No."

"Yoongi-hyung, if you try it just once, I won't smoke anymore for the rest of my life, deal?"

"That's a pretty dumb deal, don't you think? You don't even think before you speak." Taehyung smiles.

"I think it's a pretty good deal actually. If you don't like me smoking, then I'll stop, if you do it with me." 

"You talk just to hear your own voice don't you." Taehyung places the butt of the cigarette a touch away from Yoongi's ample lips.

"Try it." Yoongi looks at Taehyung, then back at the coffin nail. He parts his lips, trying not to think about the fact that Taehyung's lips were just in the exact same place less than a minute ago. Taehyung pushes it closer and Yoongi closes his mouth around it, the cancer stick in between his lips. He draws in a breath. The saccharine dosage of bane burns his throat with no remorse. Yoongi pulls away, violent coughs and smoke sputtering from his lips uncontrollably. Taehyung places a hand on his back, alternating between patting and rubbing in circles. Yoongi can't help the way his heart jumps at the unexpected touch.

Once Yoongi can breath again, he inhales shakily, his bottom lip trembling a bit.

"T-That shit hurts." Taehyung smiles at him sadly. The corners of his lips soon quirk downward and Yoongi is perplexed. Taehyung is expressive. You can always tell his emotions, just by the look on his face.

He doesn't know what Taehyung is feeling right now, and that's scary.

"You get used to it. I only do it when I'm stressed so... not often." Yoongi wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Why are you stressed?" Yoongi doesn't miss how his eyes dart to the couch. The couch where Yuna is sitting. The silence is deafening until Taehyung hops down from the counter.

"Come on, let's change. I wanna go for a swim." Taehyung heads to the couch. Yoongi closes his eyes. Please don't invite her. "Are you going to swim too Yuna?" She shakes her head.

"No. Maybe later." She responds, boredom carelessly entwined into her tone. Yoongi has to hold in his sigh of relief. He barely manages it, but gives himself a pat on the back when he succeeds. 

"Okay." Taehyung grabs his hand. "Let's go to my room. I need to get my trunks."

❤︎ 

"I'm sorry about Yuna." Taehyung says from across the room, his back to Yoongi. He sounds culpable of something. Yoongi raises a brow. He's facing the mirror as he unzips his backpack to get out his own trunks and swim shirt. 

"Why are you apologizing?" Truth is, he knows why Taehyung is apologizing for that girl. He also knows that Taehyung shouldn't have to. He can hear Taehyung sigh as he lifts his shirt over his head.

"She's a bit cold sometimes. She doesn't mean to sound rude or anything. I just hope you didn't take it that way." Well, I did. "She's really sweet." No the fuck she's not.

"It's fine. You don't have to apologize." She is the one who should be apologizing, but in reality, Yoongi didn't want her apology. To be honest, he doesn't want to have anything to do with her. 

He hears Taehyung laugh. Yoongi fishes the shorts and shirt from inside his bag before tossing it to the side. He looks up just in time to see Taehyung lift his shirt over his head. Taehyung's tan skin almost radiates beneath the warm glow of natural light. His back muscles contract and make the most interesting of shadows atop of his temperate complexion. Yoongi's pulse spikes when he sees Taehyung reach for the strap of his boxers.

Yoongi gulps and scans the room for something to steal his attention. His face feels hot and he wants to run away.

With rapid speed, he removes his own shirt and pants, along with his boxers. He jumps into the blue trunks and shoves his arms through the top part of the swim wear. 

"You're wearing a shirt?" Yoongi turns to see Taehyung in a pair of red swim shorts. Nothing else. Just the shorts. Yoongi swallows thickly.

"Yeah."

"Why?" Because I hate myself.

Yoongi shrugs. Taehyung purses his lips as his brows knit themselves together. He doesn't press further.

"Okay." 

They make their way to the pool. Taehyung immediately cannonballs into the water. Yoongi maneuvers around the puddles water caused by Taehyung and sits in a pool chair. He presses his back into the chair, the umbrella above him shielding his body from the sun. He closes his eyes. It doesn't take long for Taehyung's splashing and laughter to stop.

"Hyung." Yoongi opens an eye.

"Yes?"

"Why aren't you in the pool? Come swim with me!" Yoongi doesn’t move a muscle. Taehyung groans. “This is why you’re so pale. You get no sun!”

"Okay so first of all, fuck you, and second of all, It's hot." He hears Taehyung cackle.

"That's why you should get in the pool." Yoongi sits up, squinting his eyes. He sighs, knowing that Taehyung won't give up this fight. He sits down at the edge of the pool, dipping his feet in. The water is ice cold. He allows his legs to sink beneath the surface of the water even though its freezing temperature is unsettling. Taehyung splashes him and Yoongi frowns.

"Stop it."

"No." He splashes him again.

"Taehyung."

"You said you would get in the water. You're not in the water."

"I never said that." Splash.

"Tae."

"Oh shit, what's that?" Taehyung points and Yoongi looks up.

"What?"

Yoong is yanked into the water by his shirt. His body plunges downward. He can hear Taehyung's obnoxious laughter beneath the confined aqua. He gasps for air as his head breaks the surface, his mint colored hair drenched and covering his eyes. Taehyung swims over, still laughing and Yoongi sort of wants to kill him.

"I hate you." He doesn't mean it and as much as he would like to. He can't bring himself to be genuinely mad. His breath hitches when he feels Taehyung's fingers on his face, pushing his hair out of view.

"I couldn't help it hyung, I'm sorry. You're just no fun sometimes." 

Yoongi spits a stream of water into Taehyung's face. Taehyung's laughter fills the air. They splash back and forth like this. Yoongi likes when Taehyung laughs. It's grounded in the base of his throat. It's hearty and full. 

It's music to his ears.

Yuna opens the screen door and sits on the edge of the pool in a pink bathing suit. She stares at Taehyung until he feels obligated to swim towards her. She leans down, pressing a chaste kiss to Taehyung's lips. She smiles and leans in again, the kiss lasts much longer this time.

Yoongi wants to puke.

He gets out of the pool and retreats to the bathroom to dry off. He wonders why it's always the good people who have to suffer when the bad people always get what they want.

❤︎ 

Yoongi hears Taehyung's footsteps padding the wood. He's in the bathroom, using a towel to dry his hair. Taehyung walks past the door but backtracks once he sees Yoongi. He's in a pair of gray sweatpants. That's it. Just the sweatpants. 

His hazel strands of hair are still dripping wet, droplets of water cascading down Taehyung's fair skin. He smiles and Yoongi feels his throat constrict.

"Did you bring any clothes to change into?"

"I have my clothes I came in." Taehyung scoffs.

"You want to put on jeans after you just got out of the pool? That can't be comfortable at all." Yoongi shrugs. Taehyung nods towards his bedroom.

"You can borrow some of my sweats or something." Yoongi follows Taehyung back to his bedroom. Taehyung goes to his dresser while Yoongi stands awkwardly in the doorframe. He pulls out a pair of black sweatpants and an old faded Super Junior tee shirt. He looks up with a smile.

"Yoongi-hyung, you can come in. You don't have to stand over there." He pulls out another tee shirt for himself once he hands Yoongi the clothes. 

"Thanks." Taehyung turns his back so that Yoongi can change. 

"It's also pretty hot so, I can give you something else to wear when the others come." Yoongi shakes his head.

"No it's okay. This is fine."

"But hyung, it's hot. You don't want to be in sweatpants all day, do you?"

"I just feel bad, borrowing all of your clothes." Taehyung shrugs as he goes through the bins under his bed.

"I don't mind at all. I just want you to be comfortable."

"I am." With you.

Taehyung starts beaming and Yoongi's stomach squirms. 

Yoongi hears the clinking of glass and he looks down to see that Taehyung has pulled out a bin of nail polishes. Yoongi starts to pick at his fingers. 

"Come here." Taehyung beckons gently. Yoongi obeys and sits beside him, legs crossed. "What color do you want?" Yoongi blinks.

"To... paint? My nails?" Taehyung nods.

"Yeah."

"I thought you stopped doing that sophomore year." Taehyung bites his lip.

"Yeah but, I never got rid of them. What color?" 

"Black."

"Okay." Taehyung pulls out the bottle with the black polish and takes Yoongi's hand in his own. He presses his thumb to the top of Yoongi's hand, parting his fingers gently with his own slender ones. He starts with the thumb, sliding the coated, black brush from the base of Yoongi's nail to the tip. Yoongi's skin prickles with adoration. Taehyung is being so tender with him, as if he is glass and threatening to break at any second. Any other time, being treated as if he were delicate would be insulting, but coming from Taehyung, he feels safe. He gulps and leans in as if he's going to tell a secret. 

"Do you want me to paint yours too?" He says. Taehyung shakes his head without hesitation. 

"Nah." A flash of hurt sears itself across Yoongi's steeling features. 

"Why not?" Yoongi knows why, but he wants to hear it from his friend. Taehyung wets his dry lips with the tip of his tongue anxiously.

"I don't like the colors."

"You used to use the glitter one. We could use that."

"I don't know hyung."

"Tae." The younger boy winces as if he's been hit. 

"I don't know Yoongi-ssi." Yoongi's heart swells at the affectionate twist on his name, but he doesn't yield.

"You used to do this when you met her Taehyungie. Your hair was dyed fucking purple Tae, purple." Taehyung hums fondly at the memory, despite Yoongi's harsh tone.

"I remember."

"Then why are you doing this to yourself?" Taehyung knits his brows together. His lip trembles.

"She doesn't like it when I..."

"When you what, Tae? Why are you changing yourself for her?" Taehyung grips Yoongi's wrist.

"Hyung, please." Taehyung whimpers. Yoongi fixes him with a fearsome glare. He can see the tears well in Taehyung's eyes and Yoongi wants to cave in and say he was sorry but he wasn't. Taehyung needed to hear the truth and none of the others were strong enough to be the ones to tell him. He snatches his hand away.

"You can't paint mine if I can't paint yours." 

❤︎ 

It wasn't long before the food came, as did the rest of Yoongi and Taehyung's friends. 

Yoongi was sitting with his back to the couch, out of view from the others. Yoongi peeked around to take in the overwhelming setting around him.

Namjoon and Seokjin were talking in the kitchen with the snacks and drinks. Jimin and Jeongguk were playing video games on Taehyung's TV. Hoseok was chatting with Yuna and some man that Yoongi didn't seem to be able to recognize. He didn't look much older than the rest of them. His hair was dark, almost black. His eyes were sharp and his nose was lengthy and hooked near the end. He sort of reminded him of someone, someone he couldn't stand.

"Hey, Yunie! Here's your drink." Taehyung handed a red cup of something to Yuna who took it gratefully. 

"Thank you baby." She places a hand to his cheek, pulling him down and to kiss him. She licks his lips, her tongue ravenous as she practically forces it down his throat. His body is still but he doesn't recoil in the least bit. Taehyung soon pulls away once Yuna takes a break from kissing him, ducking his hands into his pockets once he leaves her. Yoogi feels sick, and it's not because of the alcohol.

He is back in his own clothes now. Taehyung's clothes smelled too much like him, the faint hint of vanilla and smoke invading his sensibility. The combination was powerful and almost unbearable. It just too much, no matter how safe he felt within the fabric.

The red plastic cup in his hands had way more liquor than coke in it, but his alcohol tolerance was obviously a lot higher than everyone else's in the room. Jeongguk was cackling beside Jimin, face flushed and leaning into him, giving away all of his weight to the smaller boy. Jimin's face was as red as a tomato, his inebriated giggles cute as his body became a pillow for the maknae. Apparently, Jimin kept losing and it was pretty funny, according to how loud Jeongguk was cracking up.

Namjoon had already managed to knock over a whole bottle of vodka, leaving Seokjin to clean up behind him. Seokjin's laugh sounded like a windshield wiper as he led Namjoon to a safer place that had no expensive décor in it, in fear of him breaking it (which was a challenge in and of itself.)

Hoseok was dancing wildly to the music on the radio. The stranger in the room was talking to Yuna, who looked like she was going to puke. Yoongi sort of hoped she did.

Yoongi took another sip of his drink, swallowing the spirit quickly. His mind started to blur the lines a bit between real life, and his own thoughts. He was losing control. It felt right.

He almost drops his cup when someone sits next to him, purposefully nudging his shoulder in the process. Yoongi snaps his head in the direction of the newcomer with malice. His gaze immediately softens once he sees that it's Taehyung. Their faces are a breath apart and Yoongi pushes himself away, dismissing how much he missed the lack of warmth. Taehyung seems to take offence as he adjusts to the distance, moving even closer than before. He notices that Yoongi smells of mint and chlorine from the pool. The amalgamation is pleasing. Yoongi's breath hitches. 

"Hey. You okay?" The younger boy asks. Yoongi offers him a slow, unsure smile.

"Yeah, I'm good. You?" Taehyung nods. Yoongi knows when he's lying.

"Yeah." Yoongi nods and looks down at the brown liquid in his cup, swirling it. "Thank you for coming hyung. I missed you, a lot. I don't want to go months without seeing you again. You're one of my closest friends hyung." Yoongi feels his heart clench. There it is, friend. Why does the affectionate term of endearment invoke a sense of misery within him?

"I missed you too." Yoongi mumbles, a pout evident on his lips. Taehyung giggles and Yoongi bites his lip. He never thought that someone with a deep and husky voice could make giggling sound so adorable. Leave Kim Taehyung to achieve the impossible. Taehyung holds out his pinky finger.

"Promise me we will see each other at least once every few weeks, even when we're in school?" This is a promise Yoongi thinks he could keep. He would always make time for Taehyung.

"Okay." Yoongi wraps his pinky finger around that of the younger boy's, ignoring the way his heart is pounding in his ears. Yoongi's face feels warm and his cheeks and nose are tinted a shade of rose. He realizes then that he could stay next to Taehyung until dawn and he wouldn't care one bit.

Yoongi looks down at their hands. He notices that Taehyung doesn't have a drink in his hand. As a matter of fact, Yoongi doesn't remember Taehyung drinking anything at all, let alone using his hands unless he really has to.

"You're not drinking." Yoongi states. Again, this is not a question and Taehyung laughs sheepishly. He looks to the ground, the tips of his Balenciagas becoming more interesting than the demented look on Yoongi's face, no matter how cute Taehyung finds it.

"Yeah, um, I want to be sober so I can take care of Yuna. I don't want her to hurt herself. Last time she got drunk, she almost cracked her skull on the dresser in my room." Yoongi snickers, wishing he could have been there to witness Yuna's shortcomings. 

He then frowns. Taehyung is not drinking so that he can take care of Yuna. Yoongi is pissed, even though he has no right to be. It makes sense. The two of them are dating, and that's what you are supposed to do in a relationship, right? You are expected to set aside some of your own wants and needs to accommodate the other person. Here's the problem though: why is Taehyung the only one sacrificing anything?

"Okay." Yoongi mutters, not really trying to hide his obvious disdain for the girl. Regardless of what Taehyung says, Yoongi knows the main reason why Taehyung isn't drinking. It's the same reason why he keeps putting his hands in his pockets. Yoongi should feel guilty for giving ultimatums.

He doesn't.

Yoongi takes a sip of his drink. He downs the spirit quickly, welcoming the haze of intoxication that will soon be clouding his judgement. He doesn't notice the way Taehyung's body tenses. 

"You should really get to know her Yoongi-ssi." Yoongi can't help the way his chest tightens, the way Taehyung uses his name has a bad effect on him.

"I don't have to. I've seen enough."

"That isn't true." Yoongi gives Taehyung a disgusted look, his lip curling and his nose crinkling. Taehyung wishes that now was the right time to laugh.

"Why do you care if I like her or not? She's your girlfriend, not mine."

"I want you to approve hyung."

"The fuck? Why?"

"Your opinion matters to me." Yoongi doesn't expect this. He inhales, expression contorted in annoyance. He doesn't want to approve. Hell, he wouldn't approve if Yuna was the nicest person in the world! He would never approve. He couldn't

Yoongi looks away.

"Well, I don't."

"Why not?" 

"I don't like her."

"That's not a good enough answer."

"I don't give a shit if it's a good answer or not." Taehyung fixes Yoongi with an austere glare. Yoongi felt like a child being scolded by their mother, but he manages to return Taehyung's glare with a fearful look of his own. His is much scarier.

"Hyung. You're not being fair."

"I don't have to be fucking fair. I don't like her."

"But I want you to! Why don't you like her?"

"Tae-"

"Why hyung?"

Because she doesn't deserve you.

Yoongi feels like time stops. He clenches his jaw. It's now or never.

"Because she keeps trying to change who you are! It doesn't make any fucking sense Taehyung-ah. She liked you before, didn't she? She liked something about you enough to want to date you, right? Why does she keep trying to make you someone you're not? If she really liked you she wouldn't try so hard to change you.

Taehyung's body hurts. He is straining his throat from trying not to cry, but nothing is working anymore. The words threaten to claw up his throat, the question that he's been afraid to ask, even though he already knows the answer. Yoongi is blunt. He never hides the truth. Taehyung is terrified. 

"Are, are you mad at me hyung?" Taehyung almost whines. Min Yoongi wasn't a liar.

"Yeah, yeah I am."

"Why?"

"Because she's trying to fucking change you and you're letting her."

Taehyung lets a tear fall, his bottom lip trembles. He feels so vulnerable, wishing that he could just disappear. 

"I'm not as strong as you." Yoongi takes a sip of his drink.

"Bullshit." He spits.

"Hyung." Yoongi wouldn't understand. Nobody understands. Yoongi is being too strict, giving him no room for explanation. He shouldn't need to give one, but he feels like he has to. He has to defend his poor decision, even if they don't garner the older boy's respect.

"H-Hyung..." Taehyung repeats, his voice small and frail in volume. He doesn't know how to go on. He hates himself. Why is he so weak? Why can't he stand up for himself? Why is he such a failure?

His heart stops when he feels a finger beneath his chin, turning his gaze. It's Yoongi and his feline like features are calm. They are subtle, restrained even. Taehyung's lips part. Maybe he will understand.

"I... I'm not like you or Joon, or Jin. It took me a long time to, to love myself, to love who I was. Going into freshman year, I just wanted to be liked. I wanted people to like me hyung. When you all came along, I felt like I finally found a family. I felt accepted and loved. I felt at home, but I was still missing something. I wasn't right and I felt like no matter what happened, I was doing something wrong. I felt like I didn't matter and that I was alone. It wasn't until Joon confessed his feelings for Jin that something clicked for me and I... I didn't think. I was too afraid. Too scared to tell anyone how I truly felt, to tell you how I truly felt. I don't know why but, but I really really wanted to, I just couldn't. I didn't want to ruin things, I didn't want to ruin what we all had. I didn't want to be alone again. Then, Yuna, she... she was nice to me and, things happened so fast hyung. She told me how she felt about me and we kissed and then, I just thought that it was supposed to happen like that. It felt right at the time. I thought she was what I needed. She liked me and she was pretty and, well, my parents liked her a lot and I wanted to make them happy... but h-hyung, hyung I fucked up, because it's too late. She made her choice to go to school around mine and now I'm going to see her all four years and I just... I was going to miss you too much. I can't be alone again hyung. I can't. I don't know what I'll do to myself If I'm alone."

Yoongi's insides feel as if they're being wrung out like a wet towel. He wants to scream, he wants to cry, he wants to pull Taehyung in and assure him that he is more than enough. 

Taehyung was worth more than the world. He was luminous in kindness and love. His heart was bigger than anyone's Yoongi has ever met. He loved, and he loved hard. He was more worthy of love than Yoongi himself, and he deserved to be treated like the leading light that he was. 

Yoongi remembers, on their way to school, Taehyung would sing and dance and just be free. Yoongi was envious at first, wanting nothing more than to apprehend this joy of Taehyung's and have it for himself. But then he realized:

Being with Taehyung made him feel free too. It made him realize his own self worth. It made him realize that he never wanted to be apart from him.

Taehyung was the light to his darkness and without him he was blind to what love really meant.

But this, this boy right here, this self-concious and careful boy wasn't Kim Taehyung.

Kim Taehyung was playful. He didn't care what people thought. He was the bright illumination in a sea of nightmares for Yoongi. He made Yoongi realize that being human wasn't wrong. That people make mistakes and that the clusterfuck which he calls life does not define him. It's okay to be happy. It's okay to smile. It's okay to be the light to someone else's darkness.

And every second he is with Yuna the light of him seems to diminish every day.

He isn't him anymore. Yoongi doesn't know who he is, but his Taehyung never smoked. His Taehyung was never afraid to paint his nails or dye his hair or dress as if he was going to walk on a runway even though he was just going to the grocery store. 

He missed Taehyung, but this wasn't Taehyung anymore, and that hurt more than the way the cigarette burned.

Taehyung deserved to be loved and Yoongi could give him just that.

Taehyung needed to know that Yoongi could love him like he wanted.

Yoongi loves him.

Taehyung needed to know.

"Taehyung-ah, Tae look at me, please." Yoongi's voice is wavering with all of this pent up emotion. He's a cauldron, filled to the brim with a mess of uncontrollable feelings. He's going to overflow. Taehyung feels his heart wither at the sound.

Taehyung looks up, his coffee colored eyes glossed over with tears. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry right now. To be honest, he was probably closer to the latter. It didn't matter. If anyone was to see him cry, he wanted it to be Yoongi. 

Yoongi bites his lip, looking away, his courage lost. How could he beg for Taehyung to look at him when he could barely do it himself?

"Taehyung-ah... um, can you tell me now?" Taehyung blinks.

"What?" Yoongi gulps. 

"What you wanted to tell me, before all of... this. What were you afraid to tell me?" Taehyung laughs tearfully. Maybe he could right the wrongs he had done. Maybe things could go his way, for once in his life.

Maybe Yoongi would feel the same.

"I, I wanted to tell you, that-"

A wave of raven clouds Yoongi's view. Before he can understand what is happening, Taehyung is yanked from his side. Yuna has pulled him up, whispering seductively into his ear. No one else in the room notices what's happening, besides Yoongi. She takes ahold of his hands, pressing them to her face and then forcing him to wrap his arms around her waist. She starts groping him, kissing his jawline and neck with ferocious tenacity. Taehyung is forcing a smile, his laughter is fake. He tilts his head away from her when she tries to kiss him on the lips. Taehyung is trying to pass it off as a joke, how uncomfortable he is. It's not a joke, it's not funny, and Yoongi isn't laughing.

Yoongi stands from the ground, anguished and broken hearted. He wants to go home. How could he be so stupid?!

Taehyung wasn't meant for him and he, he wasn't met for Taehyung. That's how things were supposed to be but, boo hoo. It's time he grows up and stops fantasizing about something that was unrealistic.

Yoongi throws his cup into the trash. He ignores the way Taehyung calls Yuna baby, telling her that she is too drunk and how she should go to sleep, coddling her like a fucking child. He ignores Namjoon reaching for him, or the way Seokjin calls his name. 

He ignores Yuna noticing that Taehyung's nails are painted silver.

He ignores the way she starts crying and yelling, telling him how weird he is and how she wishes they never met.

He wipes away the oncoming tears from his eyes, irritating the skin of his cheeks as he rubs at them angrily. 

He can't love Kim Taehyung the way he wants to.

Kim Taehyung can't allow Yoongi to love him.

Kim Taehyung doesn't love Min Yoongi.

Point. Blank. Period.

 ❤︎ 

The party is over. Red solo cups are strewn about in the living room and kitchen. Seokjin had offered to help Taehyung clean up a bit but he denied, clearly disconsolate. Seokjin wanted to unpack the issue, but Namjoon warned him against it.

"This is something they need to figure out on their own Jinnie." 

Yoongi had locked himself away in one of Taehyung's bathrooms. He quietly sobbed on the lid of the toilet, face in his cold hands. He felt pathetic, but he couldn't bring himself to care. 

Maybe he was as delicate as glass.

He had picked off some of the black nail polish that Taehyung had painted on him. It only made him angry that he couldn't get all of it off without his cuticles bleeding. It was constant reminder of what he never had and it made his heart hurt even more.

Yoongi gives up, running a hand through his minty locks. He wipes his face with the tissue paper on the roll beside him. He digs his phone from his pocket. He forgot he even had it. He sees notifications from the others. 10 texts from Seokjin, 2 calls from Namjoon, 3 texts and a Snapchat from Jeongguk, 5 calls from Jimin, and 6 texts from Hoseok.

Nothing from Taehyung.

Yoongi sighed, putting his phone away. He stood up and looked in the mirror. His cheeks were stained with dry tear streaks. His annular, button nose was red and dry. His eyes were a bit bloodshot and puffy. He sniffled, rubbing his nose with his sleeve. He cringes when he hears what he guesses is Yuna, retching in the toilet of another nearby bathroom. Count him revolted, along with a list of other sorrowful words.

Yoongi takes a clean towel from the nearby rack and goes to Taehyung's room. He folds up his damp bathing suit in the towel. He stuffs the folded swimwear into his Kumamon backpack and swings the straps onto his shoulders. 

He feels bad, having to break his pinky promise with Taehyung, but he can't do this anymore.

He can no longer see Taehyung happy with someone else.

It was better for the both of them to end this friendship. Yoongi knows that Taehyung would be happier if he cut the communication off completely. As much as he would love to have Taehyung in his life, the situation was too complicated, and far too toxic for the two of them and it wasn't fair. Taehyung was obviously unhappy, Yoongi knew the feeling all too well so it was easy to tell. He thought that things would change. He thought that maybe, just maybe, Taehyung had realized his own self worth and sought him out to rekindle something that was never actually there.

Boy, was he dumb.

Yoongi walked down the staircase that led to Taehyung's bedroom. He rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, yawning as he does so. He could really use a nap right about now. He looked into the living room. The boy who looked a lot like a male version of Yuna was snoring on the love seat. Yoongi rolled his eyes.

He kicked an empty red cup with his foot as he made his way to the front door. His eyes followed it as it hit the glass of the screen door that led to the pool. Yoongi looked up, heart clogging itself in his throat.

Taehyung was alone, sitting at the edge of the pool. Yoongi couldn't see what he was doing, his back was facing him. He was motionless. This made Yoongi uneasy, as much as he hated to admit it.

Taehyung was alone, and he hated being alone.

The voices in Yoongi's head were telling him, no, screaming at him to keep going, to run to the door, to never come back to this place.

The screams got louder when he took a sharp right, walking towards the screen door.

The shrieking made Yoongi want to weep as he placed his fingers on the handle. The voices curdled his blood, telling him that this was a terrible idea.

As soon as the door slid open, the voices went mute. All Yoongi could hear were the birds chirping from above and the breeze of wind ruffling the trees of nearby yards. 

Yoongi's steps filled the space. They weren't loud enough for Taehyung to notice them. He didn't notice the shorter boy's presence until he sat down, right beside him.

Yoongi didn't look at him. He kept his gaze steady on the pool. 

Taehyung lolled his head to the side, resting it on Yoongi's shoulder, a silent way of saying thank you and maybe something more.

"I'm sorry hyung." Yoongi's brows knitted together.

"You don't have to apologize."

"Yes, I do. This whole thing is just..." Taehyung takes in a deep breath. "I made a mistake." 

Yoongi shudders. He hopes Taehyung can't feel it.

"I know."

"I hurt you, and I never meant to. I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"I ruined everything."

"No you didn't." They're quiet for a moment, the sounds of the waves tranquilizing their nerves. Taehyung's hazel wisps of hair are tickling Yoongi's neck. His head is warm against Yoongi's shoulder. He feels unbothered, calm even. He hasn't felt this way in a long time.

"Do you hate me now?" Yoongi snorts.

"No. I don't hate you."

"Oh." Yoongi raises a brow.

"Oh?" He repeats. Taehyung shrugs.

"Well, I, I don't know what to say is all." Silence closes in on them once more like a bubble. Taehyung snuggles closer to Yoongi's side. "I didn't want you to be mad at me anymore." Yoongi shakes his head.

"I'm not."

"Promise?" Yoongi huffs. Again, Taehyung's childish antics come to life amidst their troubles and conflicting feelings.

"I promise." It's quiet again. Yoongi never thought he could hate silence this much. 

"I told Yuna that we should break up." Yoongi blinks.

"Hm." Taehyung giggles, his body shaking and forcing Yoongi's body to quiver too.

"I know."

"I'm sorry." Taehyung looks up, noticing the pout on the older boy's lips. 

"Why are you sorry?" Yoongi shrugs.

"Breaking up isn't easy. It still hurts, even if it was for the best." Taehyung sighed. He had a point.

"I don't know. She might not have understood me. As soon as I told her, she ran upstairs to throw up. I think she drank too much." Yoongi snorted.

"I think she did understand you. That's probably why she puked." Taehyug throws his head back to cackle. Yoongi laughs along with him quietly. Taehyung's heart kind of aches, but not in a bad way. He feels whole again. 

Once their laughter dies down, Yoongi clears his throat. He fiddles his thumbs nervously. He takes in a breath.

"Did you, did you mean it when... when you said you wanted to break up with her?" Taehyung nods dumbly.

"Yeah. You were right, about what you said? Yuna she... she isn't right for me." Yoongi chuckles bitterly.

"Yeah..." Taehyung scoots closer to the older boy. He bites his lip.

"I like someone else, and I have, for some time now." The ends of Yoongi's lips quirk up and Taehyung feels a challenge coming on. He is on a mission to make Yoongi smile.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Yoongi shrugs with a pout.

"You should tell them. Maybe they like you back."

"I think they do."

"How do you know?" Taehyung scratches his head.

"I'm not sure. For starters, whenever I'm with them, they smile, even if they try hard to hide it. They kind of act all shy around me too, like whenever I touch them or make jokes, they get all nervous and move away from me."

"I do not!" Taehyung's jaw drops and he covers his mouth with the palm of his hand, trying desperately not to laugh outright. Yoongi's eyes are wide, caught between wanting to laugh and cowering in fear. Taehyung giggles.

"It's okay, I think it's kind of cute." Yoongi's cheeks light aflame, the shade of scarlet glowing on the top of his ears.

"'M not cute." Taehyung moves closer, their knees touching, their finger tips centimeters away from each other.

"I think you are." Yoongi begins to beam, gums and all. Taehyung is at a loss for what to say, but it makes sense because there is one thing he knows for certain:

Min Yoongi is too beautiful for words.

"I'm not sorry, you know." Taehyung begins. Yoongi looks at him. "For ending things, with Yuna. I'm not sorry. I'm glad." They're facing each other now, their breath mingling and their fingers intertwining. 

"You deserve someone who likes you for you." Yoongi almost whispers. It's Taehyung's turn to blush now.

"I wish I had known that before."

"Well you know it now."

"Yeah." Taehyung moves even closer, his right leg on top of Yoongi's. He tightens his grip on Yoongi's hand, rubbing his thumb on the surface of it. "I'm a mess Yoongi-ssi." Taehyung leans closer, their noses almost touching.

"I'm well aware." Taehyung exhales a sharp, short laugh.

"I can be dumb."

"I don't care. I'm a mess too Taehyung-ah."

"But not like me."

"It doesn't matter. We can figure this out, that is, if you want to..." Taehyung presses his forehead against Yoongi's.

"Yeah, I want to." 

Yoongi can feel the flutter of Taehyung's long eyelashes. He still smells of vanilla, the smell of cigarette smoke has vanished. He can practically feel the heat radiating off of the younger boy. His hand is warm and soft, the skin of his palm supple, unlike Yoongi's calloused and blistered fingers. Yoongi doesn't remember ever being this close to Taehyung. His face is serrated, jawline sharp and nose slender. He is the epitome of beauty. 

Taehyung begins to lean forward, Yoongi's heart is beating so fast he can barely breathe. He feels like he's going to hyperventilate any second now. Blood is racing through the veins of his ligaments, his skin prickling with uncertainty and desire. He's going to kiss him. Kim Taehyung is going to kiss Min Yoongi. 

Yoongi closes his eyes, waiting any second now to feel the other's lips on his own. 

He isn't even prepared for the slash of pain that sears itself onto his face. 

Yoongi can't see anything. He can't hear anything. He can't feel anything. The right side of his face is throbbing in pain. His back is on the ground, his right cheek stinging from something sharp. His sense of hearing starts to return ploddingly. He hears screaming and cursing. He immediately recognizes Taehyung's voice. He sounds like he is yelling at the top of his lungs. Yoongi tries to catch his breath, the task becoming nearly impossible. His chest feels like it's on fire and he feels something hot and wet in his mouth. It tastes like copper.

He hears someone crying. It's a girl. Someone else is talking too. He doesn't know this voice, but it's low, and raspy. He hears the word fag and homo being thrown around and he knows it's coming from this new voice that he doesn't know. He dares to open his eyes, the sunlight blinding him momentarily. He blinks a few times, his respiratory organs finally starting to cooperate. He uses every ounce of strength he can muster to push himself up. He feels groggy and nauseous, still not comprehending what is happening. 

He first notices Yuna. Her face almost looks purple. She's screaming and wiping her face pathetically. It's still difficult for Yoongi to hear, his ears ringing and the ache in his head pulsing. Everyone's voices are muffled, except for Taehyung's. Yoongi can hear his voice as clear as day. The stranger is approaching Taehyung. The veins in his neck are palpitating as he moves forward. He raises his hands. Yoongi doesn't even think before his legs start moving. This man was going to hurt Taehyung. 

Yoongi jumps from the ground, his mind exerted with adrenaline. His hands start flying once he hit the floor again, the other boy pinned beneath him. The echo from the boy's head cracking against the sidewalk resounds so loud that Yoongi thinks it ripples the waves of the pool. He doesn't even feel the pain in his knuckles as his fists connect with the boy's face. Yoongi's skin is bruised and covered in blood. The screaming is louder now. He can hear someone calling his name or rather, crying his name out. He doesn't feel in touch with his body anymore. He was going to hurt Taehyung. 

"Yoongi! Yoongi stop it!" Yoongi feels a pair of secure arms wrap around his waist, dragging him away. The boy is coughing and spitting up blood. Yuna has rushed to his side, still crying. She turns to look at them, eyes glistening with rage.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Were you trying to kill him?!" Taehyung's eyes go dark.

"Both of you need to fucking leave." Taehyung grits. The boy is still coughing and Yuna is weeping. Yoongi feels helpless, lifeless. His body has given way, the rush of epinephrin being drained from his body, the pain taking its place. Taehyung is cradling his body in his arms. He feels safe again.

"Taehyungie come on, don't-"

”Yuna, leave, now.” 

“Aegiyah...” Yuna whimpers. Yoongi almost feels sorry for the poor girl.

"Yuna." Said girl stops dead, eyes wide. She is obviously not used to being put in her place. "I want you to go, and you can take your fucking asshole brother with you." Taehyung motions to the boy he just beat to a pulp. Things were finally starting to make sense. Yuna's lip is still trembling when she grates her teeth together.

"You should have told me you were a fucking faggot Tae." Yoongi is still able to hear somewhat. He doesn't like the way Taehyung's nickname sounds in Yuna's mouth. Taehyung sighs.

”I will talk to you about this later, ok?”

"Fuck you." Yuna spits. She helps her brother up, guiding him to the door as he limps away, not even sparing Yoongi a second glance. Once they're out of sight, Taehyung looks down at the pasty, sweaty boy in his arms. He huffs bitterly.

"God Yoongi-ssi... what am I going to do with you?"

❤︎ 

Yoongi's entire body was aching beyond belief. His muscles were sore and his energy spent. He winces when Taehyung dabs the peroxide soaked cotton ball to his cheek.

"Sorry." Taehyung mumbles.

"'S okay." Yoongi is sitting on the lid of the toilet seat while Taehyung brought a chair up in front of him, tending to his wounds as if he had gone into some battle. Taehyung had given him a few painkillers in an attempt to ease his anguish. He just hopes he doesn't overdose. Taehyung doesn't really pay attention to warning labels. Yoongi bites his lip and Taehyung groans. 

"Hyung, you're going to make it bleed again." Taehyung takes a cotton swab and dips it in the peroxide. He cleans around the split in Yoongi's bottom lip. Yoongi hisses.

"That hurts Tae."

"It's peroxide hyung, not alcohol."

"You're just so heavy handed." Taehyung giggles sadly. 

"Please tell me you don't get into fights often. I don't mind patching you up but, this is a little crazy." Yoongi's right cheek is littered with scratches from the concrete. The dark bruise on his jawline is tender to the touch. Taehyung felt awful since there was not much he could do about that. 

Yoongi shivered as Taehyung's fingers drift above his pale skin. Sometimes Taehyung's knuckles will press against his cheek for a few moments before he retracts, getting out the bandages and necessary gauze. Once Yoongi's cheek is bandaged, Taehyung swallows. He raises a tentative hand to Yoongi's unscarred cheek. He presses his thumb to his cheekbone, stroking his skin. Yoongi closes his eyes, focusing solely on Taehyung's lissome touch. His lashes flutter against Taehyung's fingertips. Is it just him, or has the pain in his body withdrawn itself?

"You didn't have to do that." Taehyung whispers, his breath tickling Yoongi's lids. 

"He was going to hurt you." Taehyung shakes his head, removing his hand from Yoongi's face. Yoongi suddenly feels cold all over, the pain coming back full force. "I had to do something."

"Fuck Yoongi." Taehyung inhales shakily, placing his face in the palms of his hands. He's crying.

"Tae-"

"He hit you hyung, he fucking hit you and I couldn't do anything. Hyung I'm so, so sorry." Taehyung whimpers, tears seeping through the crevices of his closed fingers. Yoongi is drunk on courage, the pain becoming too unbearable. He feels a migraine coming on. He grasps Taehyung's wrists, pulling them away from his face.

"Stop apologizing. This isn't your fault." Taehyung doesn't believe him, but he remains quiet. 

"I'm sorry hyung."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"He wouldn't have touched you if I didn't try to-"

"Don't you dare apologize for that." Yoongi snaps, not mad at Taehyung but not able to conceal his rage. "I... I wanted to. If you want to blame yourself then, blame me too because, I leaned in too." Taehyung chuckles. Yoongi's hands are clammy and still trembling from the fight. Pity begins to wrack Taehyung's being. He intertwines their fingers. He looks down at Yoongi's black and blue knuckles. 

He peppers them with light, gentle kisses. 

Taehyung looks up. Yoongi's face is cherry red. He's looking at their hands, tightly clasped together. Taehyung snickers and connects their foreheads together. The wisps of Yoongi's mint hair flutter against Taehyung's skin.

"I can't believe you really beat Kyungju's ass like that." Yoongi manages to smile at Taehyung's perfect timing. 

"I kind of went overboard, huh?" Taehyung pokes out his bottom lip in thought.

"Nope." He pops the P. "He deserved it. He's a dick. He was only invited because Yuna was mad that all of my friends were here and hers weren't." Yoongi looks up, their noses almost touching due to the close proximity.

"Are you going to do what you said?" Taehyung quirks a brow.

"What?"

”You said you would talk to her, about... this.” Taehyung exhales deeply.

”I’m not getting back with her, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

"Oh." Yoongi bites his lip and Taehyung sucks his teeth in irritation.

"Hyung, stop that." Taehyung whines. Yoongi unclenches his lip. He resorts to biting the inside of his cheek instead. Taehyung can't help it. 

Min Yoongi is fucking dangerous.

Taehyung notices a bit of dried blood from where Yoongi bit his lip. He takes his thumb and swipes it away, the digit still lingering at the corner of his lip. Yoongi swears he can get lost in Taehyung's chocolate eyes. His very touch sets his heart aflame. Yoongi places hand over Taehyung's, the one still holding his chin. Taehyung smiles.

"What was it that we were doing? You know, before we were rudely interrupted?" Yoongi snorts, the flood gate now opening. He bursts into a fit of giggles. The sound is a bit hoarse and high pitched. Taehyung's heart melts at the sight. 

"Very smooth Tae." Yoongi murmurs. Taehyung shrugs.

"I'm just saying..." Yoongi lowers his hand, overcome with delight and pure joy. He's never felt this way before. He doesn't want it to stop. 

Taehyung flashes him a smile, taking in a deep breath, drinking in the sight of the beautiful boy before him. He leans forward, scared at how still Yoongi is. Does Yoongi want this? Does he want to kiss him? It's when Yoongi starts to inch forward too that Taehyung can barely contain his excitement. Their lashes brush as Yoongi closes his eyes. Taehyung follows suit. He closes the distance with a faint peck testing the waters. He doesn't pull away too far, Yoongi doesn't let him. Taehyung connects their lips again, the kiss slow, their lips still tightly closed. Yoongi grips Taehyung's forearms, not knowing how to steady himself. He was becoming woozy, the feel of Taehyung's lips making him dizzy. Perhaps it was the medicine. Taehyung parts his lips, allowing Yoongi to deepen the kiss. Taehyung takes a hold of Yoongi's hips, guiding the smaller boy into his lap. Taehyung laughs against his lips and Yoongi hums in delight.

They break away for a moment to breathe. Yoongi initiates the next kiss, not bothering to close his own mouth. He moves his lips against Taehyung's, wrapping his arms around the younger boy's neck and pressing into his nape with his fingers. Taehyung hugs him closer, not getting enough of his warmth and minty scent. Yoongi pulls away and Taehyung pouts. Yoongi giggles before pecking his lips once more. Taehyung places feathery touches against the bruise on Yoongi's jawbone. His own jaw clenches. 

"I should have joined you in kicking Ju's ass. I can't believe he fucking touched you. I should've-" Yoongi placed his hands on Taehyung's cheeks, interrupting his angry rant. The dangerous glint in Taehyung's eye was terrifying. Yoongi wasn't used to seeing him like this. 

"I'm okay Taehyungie. I already feel a little better."

"You have bruises Yoongi-ssi. Your cheek was bleeding. He hurt you." Yoongi's eyes dart to the tiled floor.

"I think I may've broken his nose..." Yoongi pouts and Taehyung wants to kiss it way. He then remembers that he can, and he does. He laughs, hugging Yoongi tightly. He hides his face in the crook of Yoongi's neck, making the other boy shudder. Taehyung plants kisses on his neck, the older boy giggling as he does so. He presses his face against Yoongi's shoulder. He feels Yoongi raking his fingers through his hair. Serenity washes over him and it feels nice. He has never felt this way with anyone else before. He wants to cry.

"It should have been me." Taehyung groans, his voice muffled by the fabric of Yoongi's sweatshirt. Yoongi shivers. He cups Taehyung's face with his hands, forcing the younger boy to look at him.

"I'm glad it wasn't you." Taehyung intertwines their fingers. He tilts his head up, capturing Yoongi's lips in his own. Yoongi grasps ahold of Taehyung's shirt, pulling him in. Taehyung laughs and pulls away. He kisses Yoongi's nose, then his cheeks, then his forehead, and lastly his lips. Yoongi is beaming, gums on display and Taehyung coos. Yoongi isn't used to being overwhelmed with affection. His body soon tenses and Taehyung can sense the change in his demeanor. Yoongi isn't looking at him anymore, and it makes Taehyung worry. He nudges Yoongi's head with his own, giggling when Yoongi offers him a smile.

"You look sad." Taehyung notices. Yoongi huffs sadly.

"Seeing you with her made me upset, Tae." 

"I'm sorry." Yoongi shakes his head.

"No I... I don't want you to be sorry. I just want things to be the same." Taehyung sighed.

"You mean the smoking, don't you." 

"Not just that Tae..." 

"You mean, everything then." Yoongi nods. Taehyung smiles. "Okay, okay. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it." Yoongi shakes his head.

"No I don't want that. I don't want you to do what I want. I want you to be happy again. I want you to be yourself again, okay? I want you to do what you want, and if that means painting your nails or dressing the way you want then, then I want that too." Taehyung doesn't know that he's crying until Yoongi thumbs away the tear that rolls down his cheek. Taehyung laughs, kissing Yoongi's wrist.

"I would really, really like that hyung." Yoongi smiles.

"Me too."

❤︎ 

Yoongi rides his bike down the streets of Seoul with a busted lip and a used to be broken heart. The right side of his face is painted red, black, and blue, barely covered by a measly bandage. A bruise is forming on the surface of his plump, baby fat cheek. His pale, flustered skin is painted with splotches of dried blood. Scabs, pepper themselves between the bijou scratches and punctures. His legs are wobbly, forcing his bike to shake from side to side. His knuckles are a ghostly white from clutching the handlebars with the grip of death. The breeze cools the perspiration beneath his minty locks.

He cries.

He feels his phone buzzing in his pocket. He knows that it's Taehyung and his heart soars, already missing the other boy's touch. 

His sadness vanishes once he remembers that Taehyung had invited him over again tomorrow. 

He smiles.

He can finally love Kim Taehyung the way he wants to.