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Region Trotters: Kanto Catastrophes

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~ Kanto Catastrophes is a SYOC fanfic centered around 18 submitted OCs per season training and competing against one another within the Pokemon World to determine who will represent their Type as a new Region Champion. ~



Kanto Poster NEW by CoGreen20 



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"AXEL" created by MiracleSoup

Name: Axel Kens
Pokemon Type: Poison

Age: 17
Starter: Ekans #023 Ekans 
Hometown: Saffron City, Kanto

Axel Kens by CoGreen20
"Axel is a strange, strange lil frog child. Red eyes? Green hair? Sharp teeth? Either he's in a cult of some sorts or he's just a very persistant edgelord. (Disclaimer: The answer is wholeheartidly edgelord) Axel doesn't like it when his ... er um... "style" is remotely insulted, or brought up for that matter, which raises the question as to why he chooses to look that way if he doesn't want people gawking at him.

Axel isn't socially active and habitually misses social cues due to this. He assumes his attitude and rather rude commentary is automatically well received by people. Axel believes his blunt honesty is his best trait. Feelings get hurt often around this guy. But then again, Axel tends to think everyone else is overreacting so he doesn't mind.

Axel likes to maintain the "tough guy" demeanor. Whether he pulls that off or not is also up for debate. Toughs guys certainly tell it like it is and Axel definitely has that part down to pat. But who knows? Maybe underneath all that what is likely green hair dye and red contacts is a heart of gold? ... Maaaaaybe.


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"PAYTON" created by VultureIslandEtc

Name: Payton Rothman
Pokemon Type: Ice

Age: 18
Starter: Sneasel #215 Sneasel 
Hometown: Goldenrod City, Johto

Payton Rothman by CoGreen20
"Ohhhhh boy oh boy.

Payton is a small bitter bean. She firmly believes that the world is full of horrible people, and refuses to give people a chance, instead constantly peppering them with exasperated sighs and really painful insults, which she considers her primary skill. Sarcasm and pride-ripping insults come as second nature to her.

Her secondary skill is extreme art projects, because those usually freak people out and freaking people out is fun. Despite being an absolute cynic, Payton is extraordinarily artistic. She doesn't admit it though, and if you try to tell her otherwise you'd better bring earmuffs because she'll, quite casually, verbally annihilate you like it's no big deal. Other things Payton finds fun include petty revenge and not you. You are not fun.

Go away."


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"GRACE" created by SSBFreak

Name: Grace Cirillo
Pokemon Type: Electric

Age: 20
Starter: Magnemite #081 Magnemite  
Hometown: Saffron City, Kanto

Grace Cirillo by CoGreen20

"Grace is a tomboy at heart and is a skilled mechanic with a knack for building new things. Due to her credibility, Grace comes off as very relaxed and in control of whatever environment she's in. Because of this, she comes off as tremendously suave and confident, which garners the attention of many would-be suitors.... Hehe... Poor fellas. Grace can be a bit of a flirt without even realising it. Okay. A lot.

See, the guys usually find out the hard way that Grace is actually spoken for, and gay for that matter. Her girlfriend, a successful archeologist, is one of her biggest supporters, and even though Grace is nowhere near the big name inventor that she wishes she could be at the moment, she still has a lot of big projects under her belt.

Grace tends to charge headfirst into any and all scenarios, having the confidence to believe that she can genuinely take on whatever's thrown at her. When she's wrong she's always surprised, and it takes a bit for her to admit she's wrong. Speaking of "wrong", boy does she know how to hold a grudge when she's been wronged. Seriously, heaven help you if you try to get on her good side after previously wronging her..."


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"MATTEO" created by Mysterion305

Name: Matteo Rossi
Pokemon Type: Ground

Age: 17
Starter: Sandshrew #027 Sandshrew 
Hometown: Viridian City, Kanto

Matteo Rossi by CoGreen20
"Living near the Pokemon League is stressful. All the teens in town strive to be the very best, waking up every morning with the Indigo League looming over their quaint city, building up their drive and desires day by day. Matteo wants that too... he's just lacking a little... drive. Lazy, uncoordinated and lethargic, even. Dude doesn't even have enough grit to control his own volatile Pokemon.

Matteo's a sweet guy, don't get me wrong. He struggles with putting forth effort, and is often found dozing off or being a little too relaxed wherever he goes, sometimes even to the point of being unable to recognise danger. His parents thought they fixed his laziness problem when they found out he had a hearing problem. Nothing changed, but he does have a nifty hearing aid now!

Matteo's parents, like most league-adoring residents of Viridian City, have high expectations for Matteo. The only expectation he seems to be exceeding are his looks. Perhaps his strong build and charming looks have contributed to his "it'll happen eventually" carefree attitude. Region Trotters is going to push him to his absolute extremes which consists of... doing something. Anything, really. Please just do something, Matteo."


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ZANE created by SpoopertGoobert

 Name: Zane Lute
Pokemon Type: Ghost

Age: 16
Starter: Gastly #092 Gastly 
Hometown: Celestic Town, Sinnoh

Zane Lute by CoGreen20
"Living a life with a powerfully positive mindset, Zane always has a spring in his step. He's hardly ever down, but when he is it doesn't last long. He's not afraid to get himself out there and will do anything in his power to cheer others up and make friends. It doesn't stop there, though.

Zane is what we call a "shipping machine". With lists and charts always on him, he writes and draws out all the potential relationships we could see play out amongst his friends and peers . For better or worse, Zane goes out and tries to hook people up. The dude's a matchmaker.

Sounds like there's no harm to him and his actions, yeah? To be honest, there isn't -- for the most part at least. With shipping and matchmaking, Zane can tend to go overboard and can be persistent. If he believes that he can make it work, then he's convinced himself that he needs to try harder and use different methods to make any potential lovebirds see value in one another... as opposed to minding his own business."


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"LUDWIG" created by GyroMaster

Name: Ludwig Von Malmar
Pokemon Type: Steel

Age: 15
Starter: Beldum #374 Beldum 
Hometown: Vermillion City, Kanto

Ludwig Von Malmar by CoGreen20

"Hailing from Vermilion City, Ludwig is the friendly neighbourhood scientist who always lives by a routine schedule, Working on electronics, chemical formulas and Pokemon theories. His constant babbling of the scientific beyond can leave anybody scratching their head in confusion. See, Ludwig has the tendency to over analyze virtually everything.

Despite being from Vermillion, Ludwig has barely been outside the city due to his tendency to be a safety nut, meaning he will try to avoid making any risks in order to stay out of trouble. He's an indoorsman "by choice". Ludwig has grown to be rather paranoid, thinking ahead to potentially bad events that haven't even happened and reacting to new situations solely based on that.

As long as you don't use slang words, preferring people do not commit homicide on the art of vocabulary, and not disrupt his organised schedule you will not have any issues getting along with Ludwig. However, will this all go according to schedule for him or will the journey leave him with no instructions and no clue in the show?"


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"ALICE" created by AquaticPhantom

Name: Alice Kuroski
Pokemon Type: Rock

Age: 16
Starter: Tyrunt Tyrunt 
Hometown: Shalour City, Kalos

Alice Kuroski by CoGreen20
"Alice was pretty much born into the lavish life of never-ending reading sessions and rigorous research. Not to brag or anything, but unlike many children in the Pokemon universe who immediately set off on an adventure at age 12, she actually went to school. *flips hair* Mhmm.

Despite being a bookworm, Alice is surprisingly engaging and reads social cues fairly well. This is due to her having made one friend as a child, the Shalour Gym Leader Korrina, who's dragged Alice through so many wacky scenarios that Alice literally can't be a shut-in even if she tried.

This ambitious girl has practically already completed half of her dream. She wants to become the first pokemon professor Champion, and she practically has the qualifications to be a professor already. She can accomplish the rest of this goal by winning Kanto Catastrophes. But is she capable of being a decent enough trainer to make this dream come true? We shall see."


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"MALIKA" finalized by CoGreen20

Name: Malika Ali Carter
Pokemon Type: Grass

Age: 16
Starter: Bounsweet #761 Bounsweet 
Hometown: HeaHea City, Alola

Malika Carter by CoGreen20
Malika's most noticeable trait aside from her style is her weakness to anything cute. Nuff said. We'll say more anyway. Having gotten adopted into a family living in Alola at the age of 5, Malika has always been a pretty open-minded individual. She was kind of a hassle in her earlier years though, since she always wandered around, oftentimes getting close to Stuffuls and its evolution. How couldn't she? They're so cute! After one encounter with a Bewear, Malika's new parents know one thing: They need to get her a babysitter…

And got one, they did. Malika is one of the friendly and most upbeat people you'll meet, but her babysitter absolutely changed her life. Malika idolized her and her fashion sense and has respectfully imitated it. Malika is often known as being the "peppiest" of goths.

Having auditioned for Kanto Catastrophes and gotten in, she, along with her partner Bounsweet, take off for Kanto. She hopes to be the bestest Grass Type trainer around… That is, if she doesn't die of a cuteness overload first. Seeing anything cute will drive this girl bonkers, and her own Pokemon are no exception."


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"TRIXIE" created by TrixieLulaMoon323

Name: Trixie Masterson
Pokemon Type: Psychic

Age: 16
Starter: Espurr #677 Espurr 
Hometown: Lumiose City, Kalos

Trixie Masterson by CoGreen20
Trixie is friendly and spunky, and she has an overly active imagination. Trixie tends to have a lot of "random" and strange thoughts that she herself finds amusing. Trixie is an AMBITIOUS artist who writes and illustrates her own superhero comic series "Sucker Punch". Years of being invested in her comic have given Trixie a steel morale and a golden moral compass. Trixie has a lot to say on the matters of injustice, and doesn't take well to bullies or jerks, seeing to it that she personally stands up to them... which can go a number of ways since her imagination ocassionally gives her good insults to fire, and other times... not so much.

You're probably thinking, "That's great and all, but what does any of that have to do with Psychic Types?". Trixie comes from a long line of Psychic Trainers who each have their own psychic ability. Each psychic individual in the Pokemon universe settles in to one specific psychic ability, be it telekinesis, mind reading, levitation, etc. Unfortunately for Trixie, she doesn't know what her ability is yet due to all the time she's spent working on her comic.

Will Trixie's determination and creativity push her to the top? Or will she learn that these kind of adventures should've been left to her comics?"


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"RYUMA" created by FinalPhantom5

Name: Ryuma Scifo
Pokemon Type: Dragon

Age: 17
Starter: Jangmo-o #782 Jangmo-o 
Hometown: Seafolk Village, Alola
Ryuma Scifo by CoGreen20
"Ryuma was born in Alola in the Seafolk Village. When he was young, his family found an injured Kommo-o and its egg and nursed both back to health. After that, the Kommo-o decided to stay with them, and Ryuma hatched the egg into a Jangmo-o and has taken care of it ever since.

Now more about Ryuma himself! Ryuma is a pescatarian who enjoys fishing and taking naps when he's alone. Ryuma enjoys his free time and often gets a lot of it due to how quickly he likes to get things done. He never half-a**es a job, so people are often surprised when his seemingly hasty efforts turn out to be effective. He wants things to get done already so he can have time to himself. Ryuma's a guy that lives with his foot constantly on the excelerator. Sadly, the drawback is his incredible impatience.  

This extends to people around him. He doesn't have the patience to deal with people who can't keep up with him. He believes that if someone can't keep up with everyone else then they shouldn't have bothered offering to compete. Let's hope the competition plays out the way he wants."


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"NATALIE" created by FloofySkuntank

Name: Natalie Harlow
Pokemon Type: Bug

Age: 18
Starter: Caterpie #010 Caterpie 
Hometown: Pallet Town, Kanto

Natalie Harlow by CoGreen20
"Natalie is a voice for weak Pokemon everywhere. It's a real problem in the Pokemon world! Conservation of the low level Pokemon. As an activist, she goes around training weaker wild Pokemon to fend for themselves. See, there's a stigma in the Pokemon World that Fire Types, Dragon Types, Ground Types, etc are far superior to, say, Normal Types, Bug Types, Grass Types etc. Natalie wants to destroy this division and show everyone that all types have equal chances. She chooses to represent the stigmatized Bug Type Pokemon.

Natalie, despite her sweet appearance and demeanour, will gladly tell someone off when she sees a trainer injuring Pokemon much weaker than their own. (She's fine with people battling weaker trainers. It's when the WILD weak Pokemon are picked on) but her true flip switch is when people do it for no good reason or WORSE... SHINY HUNTING. Boy oh boy. Knocking hundreds of innocent Pokemon out just to find that one that happens to look just a bit different! How would you like it if someone beat up every human but albinos? Natalie raises the real questions.

In short Natalie is sweet and caring, willing to assist anyone that needs it so they stand a fighting chance... Except trainers beating up weak Pokemon for fun, sport, or to find shinies. An activist ready to take her stance in the big leagues"


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"ROSS" created by Buizel-Bro-Rocket

Name: Ross Marciano
Pokemon Type: Water

Age: 16
Starter: Buizel #418 Buizel 
Hometown: Pastoria City, Sinnoh

Ross Marciano by CoGreen20
"Ross is an aspiring Pokemon Ranger from the Sinnoh region. Very carefree yet introverted, he loves being out around nature with Pokemon more than anything. Ross will stop at nothing in order to keep a friendly relationship between people and Pokemon and values loyalty above anything else.

Ross has these strong morals... but it's hard to get them out of him vocally. Ross is rather anxious around people and often listens more than he speaks. He would prefer to be alone rather than going out with a large group of friends, so being crammed with seventeen other competitors might take a toll on him. Ross knows EXACTLY what to do in any unfortunate event caused by nature... but when his friends have social issues, he's completely clueless.

Ross will do anything to earn his position as a Pokemon Ranger. This show gives him a great platform to put himself out there. He just wants to prove that he's capable of being a Pokemon Ranger, and firmly believes in qualification and preparedness."


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"ANGIE" created by Erythsea

Name: Angie Ross
Pokemon Type: Fighting

Age: 16
Starter: Makuhita #296 Makuhita 
Hometown: Rustboro City, Hoenn

Angie Ross by CoGreen20
"Usually when you see someone dab you already gain a solid sense of who they are as an individual.

Many may see Angie as this. Merely dabs and memes, but that's not the whole truth. There's more to her, like annoying others and making puns. And nobody can forget the constant smile on her face. Eternal bliss. All possibly correlated.

Coming from a somewhat sheltered and boring life where nobody liked her in Rustboro City, Angie's here to actually live a little bit and experience something new in an unfamiliar place where still nobody likes her. Comfort in consistency, after all! That last part isn't new for her. Who knows how things will work out? I guess we'll just have to wait and see."


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"MOLLY" created by BeekBeek85

Name: Molly MacGrady
Pokemon Type: Fairy

Age: 40
Starter: Dedenne Dedenne 
Hometown: Goldenrod Coty, Johto

Molly MacGrady by CoGreen20
"Molly is an absolute mother. A literal one too! She's a single mom with a batch of kids that she absolutely adores talking about to an unintentionally embarrassing degree. That's about to be taken to a national level. Oops.

When not being overinvolved in the personal life of her childre, Mrs. MacGrady often spends her time training up with her Pokemon in talent performances, sometimes even talent scouting! She adores showmanship and likes to have her chance in the spotlight, but in no way would she be upset if anybody else took it from her. Go them!

Molly is incredibly open-minded, and at her stage in life she just wants everyone to do what makes them happy. And she's here to potentially win the championship so she can make everyone else happy! ... And finding a boyfriend would be nice. It's been a while and she wouldn't mind."


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"BOLIN" created by Grimerie

Name: Bolin Temirov
Pokemon Type: Flying

Age: 21
Starter: Starly #396 Starly 
Hometown: Blackthorn City, Johto

Bolin Temirov by CoGreen20
"Hard work and labor: this is the creed of a hunter, and the code by which Bolin lives his life. Hailing from Blackthorn City, Johto, he belongs to a family of Pokémon breeders who work to preserve the lost art of hunting alongside Pokémon. Bolin himself is a strong and silent type with an affinity for bird Pokémon and a strong connection to the natural world.

More important than Bolin's breeding background is his skillset: he strives to preserve the lost art of hunting alongside Pokemon. The technique fell out of practice ages and ages ago, but he's trained himself in hunting and has become rather formidable with it. 

Bolin himself is a strong, silent type whose stoic nature can often make him come off as a little asocial. He has a tendency to be very blunt about things when he's not keeping to himself, and can actually be very rude to people he considers weak or who are making weak choices. Bolin's intentions are to help people improve, but he keeps his sentences short, so that doesn't always translate and can lead to immediate conflicts with other people..."


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"AMBER" created by Crazed-Blue

Age: 17

Name: Amber McLeod
Pokemon Type: Fire
Starter: Vulpix #037 Vulpix 
Hometown: Wales Island, Hoenn

Amber McLeod by CoGreen20
"Amber grew up on a small rural farm with her mother, father, and three older brothers. From a young age her isolation and boredom garnered an interest in competition, whether it be duck lassoing (whatever a "duck" is) or eating contests, she strives to be number one. Amber can now easily outmuscle and outsmart her impressively sized pack of siblings, and she's not shy about showing off.

However, her greatest strength can also be her greatest weakness as her fiery personality sometimes leads to emotional outbursts if she doesn't win. Someone in this competition needs a temper and it may as well be the Fire Type user. Big surprise.

Despite her "somewhat" common aggressive side and her undying need to beat everyone in everything, some say that underneath her shell lies a heart of gold. Whether they're right or not is up for debate."


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"JOEY" created by PKRS-Arts

Name: Joey Young
Pokemon Type: Normal

Age: 8
Starter: Bidoof #399 Bidoof 
Hometown: Veilstone, Sinnoh

Joey Young by CoGreen20
"Growing up in a sheltered environment did absolutely NOTHING to hinder Joey's development as a prepubescent, hyperactive child. That's about all anyone needs to know about his personality, in all honesty. Brash, overconfident, and filled with the relentless optimism of youth and as-of-yet uncrushed dreams, Joey is ready to take the world by storm."

Although his older brother does his diddly darnest to keep him out of trouble, this is to no avail, because somehow Joey managed to audition for Kanto Catastrophes and also get on the show. His brother was steamed about this and might also come back to chase down Joey, we just don't know. 

But why did Joey even sign up for this? Simple. There are no Rattata in Sinnoh, and especially none near Joey's hometown, Veilstone City. Kanto, on the other hand, has plenty of Rattata. And as a Youngster Joey spoof, it is Joey's sole goal to get that Rattata. He doesn't care if he loses. He doesn't care if he's first boot. He just really, really wants a Rattata. Preferably in the top percentage. Armed with his Bidoof aptly named Doof and a wooden sword that is PROBABLY not the best thing to take on this journey, he WILL catch a Rattata... and maybe friendship, and MAYBE a million dollars. But Rattata takes top priority."


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"ALAN" finalized by CoGreen20

Name: Alan Quill Collins
Pokemon Type: Dark

Age: 34
Starter: Murkrow #198 Murkrow 
Hometown: Azalea Town, Johto

Alan Collins by CoGreen20
"Alan's a born leader. If not, then he's certainly worked to that point. What he WAS born with was complete lack of all vision, blindness if you will. Alan doesn't like being downplayed or underestimated based on that and takes immeasurable satisfaction in proving people wrong.

Due to his handicap, when he was younger his parents forbid him from going on a Pokemon Adventure when he was supposed to. Unfortunately for them, this only made him more stubborn. His stubbornness even prevents him from using a blind stick. He relies on his other four senses, and when those fail him too (which often do since his sense of smell and taste are usually riddles with cigar smoke) he relies on his trust assistant Pokemon, Murkrow.

Fortunately for Alan, he's found a community of people willing to overlook (no pun intended) his handicap and put his greater skills to greater goods. He's a family man, who takes his bonds with others VERY seriously. On that note, don't you EVER cross him. Trust me. Alan doesn't intend to mingle with the cast and as long as nobody messes with him, he won't mess back"


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© Region Trotters: is a fan work that is inspired by and centered around the characters/settings/premise/etc. from the world famous videogame/tvseries/manga/etc. "Pokemon", Game Freak, and belongs to any and all businesses that collaborated in its creation and distribution. 


Thank you! Please enjoy!

Chapter Text


(The blurry object in the distance... It's partially blue, partially brown, partially green. Upon further focus, it's clearly a snippit of earth. The camera focuses far overhead a lone region on the edge of a massive continent, wedged between rigid mountains and the vast sea)





=== KANTO === (Kanto is a region surrounded on its east and south side by water. The far north consist of unnavigable mountains. To the west are tamer mountain ranges that stray off into another region altogether, Johto. But this is Kanto's season)

(Kanto is a place of humble beginnings. A land for sacred starts and treasured journeys. A beautiful, quaint land with unexplored waters and vast caverns. Fields filled with youthful and spirited Pokemon surrounded by spritely and eager-to-rise trainers. Truly a cornerstone of blissful, family driven success and peaceful tidings)

(... Time to ruin all of that with a reality show)


=== Kanto, Saffron City, Train Station Exterior === (Saffron City is the signature metropolis of the Kanto Region. It’s a hulking cityscape with an endless supply of businesses and big-britch corporations. Car horns and disgruntled civilians become louder as the focus moves downward into the heart of the city itself)

(Multiple Flying Type Pokemon, namely Pidgey’s and Spearow’s, sit on the edge of buildings and find not-so-clever or appropriate ways to make angry citizens angrier)

(The focus moves to the iconic train station that connects Kanto to Johto. A large set of stone stairs leads up to multiple sliding door entrances. There’s an outlook stone balcony to the side of the building)

(In this world, people have Pokemon. Pokemon are strange and wonderful creatures with each an amazing feature and a variety of quirks that make any talented human look insignificant. These creatures also bear the ability to have a genuine connection with humans, and fight alongside them and be their friend once trained-)

?????: -Why are we narrating what Pokemon ARE!? If the viewer doesn’t know what a Pokemon is then this is a good sign to turn around and read something else. I hear self-published novels written by sad people ABOUT sad people are all the rage these days.


?????: And besiiiiiiides. It’s ME they should be getting to know instead.

(The voice belongs to the host of the season, who approaches the camera. He’s a man well into adulthood. He has a small mustache, a rouge hat, a vest, sunglasses, and an enigmatic, coy and larger than life personality)

?????: Welcome to Kanto! A humble region of great beginnings and fantastic scientific and unnatural lore. Also two letters away from the word “banjo”. I’m your host, Christopher Davenport! But you can call me "Chris" because some viewers get stumped when it comes to more-than-one syllable words.

Christopher by CoGreen20

Chris: Eighteen trainers each representing one of the eighteen Pokemon types will clash. Only one will come out victorious. That winner will proceed to take the title of the Pokemon League Champion of Kanto… and a buttload of cash. One million, to be exact, if receiving the title of BEST TRAINER in the region doesn’t quite cut it for their ungrateful selves.

(Chris walks to an area where a few interns wait with greetings signs for the contestants when they arrive)

Chris: SO! That’s enough exposition. Just because we’re endorsed by infomercials doesn’t mean we have to act like one. Let’s start! Time to meet the contestants!



Chris: Our contestants come from all over the Pokemon world. The humble Kanto. The historic Johto. The nautical Hoenn. The shivering Sinnoh. The glamorous Kalos. And the tropical Alola. No Unova people though. Unova’s got a systematic class issue and questionable politics anyway … And just like that, I’ve lost part of the audience demographic. Empty oops. …. ANYWAY we have a handful of trainers living right here in Kanto! And here they come now!

(The first trainer arrives. She has on a long sleeve yellow sweater that’s baggy enough to drape across her chest as opposed to covering it all up, even leaving a strap visible. She has black shorts, sneakers, and a very characteristic hairstyle. Her hair seems to almost wave off of her, a flowing wave nearly defying gravity off the front of her head. She flips it to the side while dragging along a rolling suitcase which releases metallic clunks everytime it runs over a bump)

Chris: Our Electric user arrives first. Shocking. Ladies and gentlemen, GRACE.

GraceCard by CoGreen20

Grace: -You Chris? Host of Region Trotters? Supplier of free tickets around the entire region given I don’t get eliminated or whatnot?

Chris: The one and the only.

(Grace shakes Chris’s hand roughly. Chris cringes at her powerful grip)

Grace: Nice to meetcha. I got a lil shop just in town; it's not too far, so I walked. The road rage in this city is unreal, which means lotsa business for me, ya know?

(Chris is released. He winces and daintily pets his sore hand. Either Grace is strong or Chris is naturally WEAK. Even Grace raises an eyebrow at this)

Chris: A shop in town? (waving his hand, trying to get the numbness to go away) What do you sell, people replacement hands after you crush them?

Grace: I’m a mechanic, so I COULD. (puts her hands on her hips and smirks) I'm just a girl not afraid to get her own hands dirty.

(Grace’s bag whirs and shakes. The zipper moves on its own and allows passage to a creature dwelling inside. It’s a metallic orb with magnets on both sides. A blinking robotic eye on its front blinks a few times before floating out and rotating Grace)

Grace: Meet Magnemite. Built em myself.

(Grace holds her hand up. Magnemite comes to the hand and nuzzles it. The Magnemite's form of purring is buzzing. It's a little odd to watch)

Chris: Well, it’s been fun, Grace. If it’s any consolation, you’re the best contestant we have so far.

Grace: I’ll, uh, remember that when someone else shows up.

(Grace walks over to a wide open space near Chris while he greets other contestants)


(Holding only a small one strap backpack is a lanky and … weirdly proportioned teen. He’s got green freckles and bright green hair with traces of red in the tips. He’s boney and tall, wears a black tank top with a custom dripping skull logo and long torn black pants. This gangly guy is carrying a metal box by a handle in his other free hand. He plops down his belongings in front of Chris and scratches an armpit under his exposing black tank top, which doesn’t show off a whole lot)

Chris: Here comes our next contestant! A “venom-enal” kinda guy.

Grace: Are you gonna make puns for EVERY trainer?

Chris: It's a personal pride thing. Let me have this. (turns) Welcome, Axel Kens- WOAH! ...

AxelCard by CoGreen20

(Axel doesn't really look Chris in the eyes. That's what Chris focuses on. Axel's bright green hair, sickly yellow-ish skin and red eyes. His teeth also seem sharper than what's considered normal)

Chris: ... Ugghhh

(Axel seems uninterested and bored. He's already having a lousy time)

Axel: What's wrong? Something on my face? (Chris gulps) Am I late or something?

Chris: (shakes off the surprise he just underwent) No. Why would you think you're late? You're clearly one of the first here.

Axel: Just checking. I stopped to look at some of my work on the way. ... I'm a bit of an artist, I guess.

Chris: I didn’t know Saffron City had an art gallery.

(Axel holds up the case and opens it. Inside is an abundance of spray paint)

Chris: … Ah. Vandalism. A few notches below insurance fraud. I’ve been charged for both, so I don’t judge. (moves on) Anyway, welcome!

Axel: ... Alright. (shrugs)

Chris: … … … (squints) Okay, I can't NOT say something. Look, friend. Your hair’s green. Your eyes are red, and you’re giving me a lot of freaky vibes that dwindle just outside the borders of “quirky” and "suspicious"… you’re either an alien or a Mary Sue. I’ll accept alien.

Axel: … (shrugs) Sure. Let’s go with alien. By the way-

(Axel reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small Pokeball. He tosses it out and with a blinding light, a snake-like creature is released)

(By snake-like, I mean IS a snake. It’s Ekans. The Ekans hisses and wags its shiny, oddly colored tail)


(Axel points to his spray painting case. That curb's Chris' concerns)

Chris: Oh. Well that’s fine then. A little unethical, but whatever. Carry on.

(Axel walks past Grace who offers a high five. He doesn’t bother much with her)

Grace: What’s the matter? No high five? Afraid you’re gonna infect me with something? (Grace chuckles)

(Grace smiles at Axel, trying to buddy up with the only other person here. Maybe he’s just shy, she thinks. Axel half-wardly glances at her and scoffs)

Axel: If I get annoyed, I can certainly try.

(Grace instantly leers at Axel, not liking his tone. Axel doesn’t seem to pay Grace any mind. She returns that)


(Another contestant arrives. They come with a rather impressively sized backpack with sleeping bags and plenty of sacks tied to the sides likely filled with herbs and powders. The carrier is a small, dark skinned girl with luscious black curly hair. She has a ragged, but well stitched up, green dress and a hand-crafted paper hairclip that looks like a butterfly perched on the edge of her head. She wears dainty white heels for her dainty feet)

Chris: Natalie Harlow! It’s not easy being green, huh? Buuuuuug type!

NatalieCard by CoGreen20

Grace: That wasn’t a pun.

Chris: References are just as good! Let me live and let me host.

Natalie: (smiles at Chris) Thank you, Chris. It's wonderful to be here. AND to answer your question, it’s not "easy to be green", actually. Did you know that Metapod stay still as to not let their guts pour out of their weakly veiled cocoons? So all those jokes about their “hardening” process are, if you ask me, rather insensitive to their lifely struggle.

Chris: … … So “harden” is more than a meme. It’s a lifestyle.

Natalie: (nods) Bug Type have it rough. I’m here to prove that ANY Pokemon can be the very best, no matter how low they are on the food chain. Bugs deserve this chance.

Chris: A chance to get DESTROYED, amirite? Ha!

Natalie: …

Chris: … Oh come on. You’re using BUG Pokemon. Surely you’re used to being the butt of like, all typing-related jokes; it's universally known that Bug is one of the weakest types.

Natalie: (The more Chris talks, the more inverted Natalie’s smile becomes) … I’m well aware.

Chris: Bugs are like the candy corns of the Pokemon world. Nobody likes them and they kinda exist just to be eaten when there’s nothing left in the candy bowl.

(Natalie is angrily staring daggers into Chris. He just won’t stop)

Natalie: Well… (tries to put a positive spin on her intro, smiling again) I’m here to change all of that by becoming the Champion. And to prove my point, I caught my starter this morning.

(Natalie reaches into the mass of belongings she brought and pulls out a dainty lil Caterpie, the caterpillar Pokemon. The Caterpie blinks and waddles for a moment, shuddering at the sudden air)

Natalie: He’s gonna grow up and become a star. I just know it.

(Natalie nuzzles the caterpie. It shakes and uses String Shot, and begins violently spewing web and string into her face. Natalie blinks, not expecting that)

Chris: … You’re your own punch line, kid.

(Natalie sighs. She's not gonna win this arguement right now. She walks over to Grace and Axel and smiles)

Natalie: Hello! You must be the other contestants. What’re your names?

Grace: (offers a fist bump) I’m Grace. (Natalie gingerly fist bumps Grace) Bug Type may not be strong, but occasionally they can be cute. (Grace winks)

(Dang. Smooth. Natalie can't help but blush)

Natalie: (giggles) Oh it’s not j-just Bugs I stand for! No no no. There are plenty of other types with unfortunate prejudices. ALL Pokemon Types deserve equal treatment.

Grace: (playfully) Well, don’t expect us to be doormats just cuz you wanna prove a point about that.

Natalie: (twirling her hair) At times I can be a bit of an “enforcer”, but-

Axel: -Really? How’s it possible to enforce anything when all you have are BUGS?

(Grace and Natalie give Axel a death glare. Axel notices)

Axel: What?

(Axel looks genuinely confused, like he didn’t say anything wrong. Natalie is disappointed. Not a fun start)


(A buff teenager arrives with a backpack and a Pokeball in hand. He’s tall, muscular, and intimidatingly good looking. Like, the kind of good looking that makes you immediately run home and check to see if your receding hairline has gotten worse. He has glowing tan skin, a warm, welcoming smile, droopy eyes, and a leather jacket, jeans, a custom-made brown shirt, and some of the nicest shoes you’ve ever seen)

(The most notable feature is his incredible hotness… his SECOND most notable feature is his hearing aid)

Chris: Getting down and dirty, it’s GROUND type! Matteo!

MatteoCard by CoGreen20

Matteo: (blinking slowly) … … … … You uh… (holds up a brochure) …. Chris?

Chris: Region Trotters. You bet.

Matteo: … Dude. Nice. (high fives Chris) Stoked to be here.

Chris: Whatcha got for us?

Matteo: A potential winner, that’s what. (shrugs) … Or a good time. … I’m down for whatever. (Matteo opens the Pokeball in his hand)

(The Pokeball releases a small, mosaic-like shrew Pokemon. Its tan and able to curl into a ball. It’s a Sandshrew. The Sandshrew rubs its eyes and looks up at Chris)

Chris: Awwwwww!

(The Sandshrew screeches and rams into Chris’s ankle, causing Chris to fall over. He slams into the concrete and shouts out comically)


Matteo: (with incredible stoicness) Sandshrewwwwww.

(The Sandshrew turns to Matteo and screeches in protest. Matteo shakes his head and summons Sandshrew back into the Pokeball)

Matteo: (helps Chris up) Sorry about that. … Sometimes I think it’s HIM who needs one of these. (Matteo taps his hearing aid and chuckles)

Chris: (leers at Matteo from the ground) I strongly consider it.

(Matteo didn’t hear that. He sluggishly makes his way to the others. Natalie, Axel and Grace. Matteo stands between Grace and Natalie. Natalie blushes, but Grace doesn’t react)


(A rather thin teen with large, bushy blonde hair approaches with a large rolling suitcase. He’s moving slow as to not upset whatever’s inside or break anything. He has on a labcoat and a pair of goggles buried in his golden locks. He’s 15, and rather tall for his age)

Chris: “Steel”ing the show, it’s Ludwig! Steel Type.

LudwigCard by CoGreen20

Ludwig: Ha! Well, consider me prepared. I have to be! It’s not easy being a Steel Type user in Kanto!

(Chris gives a vacant expression)

Ludwig: ... I can explain if you’d like.

Chris: You seem scholarly, so if I were to ask you to elaborate, you’d probably say something boring. But I’m in a “learny” mood, so have at it.

Ludwig: “Learny” isn’t a word.

Chris: See! Learny mood. Anyway continue.

Ludwig: (explains) Steel was one of the last pokemon types discovered. Kanto was one of the last regions to accept it as a type. I love Kanto, I live here and all, but it’s certainly… dated. Some parts of Kanto still refuse to acknowledge Fairy Type.

Chris: Yeah, I kind of agree. Kanto’s history is boring compared to the other regions. I mean… this region only has ONE natural legendary, right?

Ludwig: Legendary birds aside, we have Mew. Kanto tried to CLONE Mew and as a result… Mewtwo. The strongest Pokemon ever created. … That didn’t work out so well. (sighs) Regardless, I wish I was there to see it all…

Axel: Wasn't every scientist involved in the Mewtwo project killed?

Ludwig: (smiling) Well I would prefer to be a Cutiefly on the wall in that incident.

Axel: The Cutiefly’s would be dead too.

Chris: Probably because it’s a BUG TYPE. Ayo! (offers Ludwig a high five. He hesitantly takes it)

(Natalie sighs in annoyance from afar)

(Ludwig walks over to the trainers. Matteo, Grace, Natalie and Axel await. Ludwig stands next to Matteo. Ludwig pulls out a small journal and immediately starts scribbling in it)

(Axel peers over to see what Ludwig is writing. Ludwig notices and snaps the journal shut. Axel squints his eyes at Ludwig, both stare at one another for a second)

Ludwig: (Ludwig notices Axel’s red eyes with red fades rings around him) W-wow! That is some concerning inflammation. What's wrong with your eyes?

Axel: They’re looking at a scud like you.

(Ludwig retreats and looks away. Too much confrontation for him. So soon, too)

(KANTO NATIVES - Grace, Axel, Natalie, Matteo and Ludwig)



(The sound of a train blares overhead. Bustling of people and talkative overhead speakers drowns out the background. When it dulls down, Chris speaks up again)

Chris: So you’re probably wondering why we’re here at the train station? You see, the train station connects to GOLDENROD CITY in JOHTO. Our Johto natives should be arriving shortly.

(A man in his early twenties approaches with a briefcase. He has on a sharp black fedora and is wearing a tailored black suit over his white collared shirt and red tie. He has on dapper shoes and sleek black pants. The most notable trait however is his sunglasses)

(He has his hand out. Perched on his hand is a Murkrow. Murkrow is a small, dark crow Pokemon, which seems to be making small chirping noises as the man walks)

Chris: Alan Collins! Lookin shady. Fitting for our DARK type user! Good to see you.

AlanCard by CoGreen20

Alan: (curtly) Wish I could say the same.

Chris: (defensive) Hey buddy, I’m the one who makes the smarmy comments around here.

Alan: … The joke is that I’m blind, Chris.

Chris: Yeah, blind to the fact that I’m- (realizes) OH… (Thus, Alan’s “sunglasses”) OH, like ACTUALLY blind… bummer. (looks at Alan’s Murkrow) This your seeing eye Pokemon or whatever?

Alan: (chuckles) More like a pain. Leading me into street poles and drains when I don’t give her enough attention.

(Alan shakes his hand which causes the Murkrow to flap its wings and caw at him, not liking being teased)

Chris: Well, Alan, how do you think your chances are, what with your handicap?

Alan: (his cheery demeanor vanishes into thin air) I don’t plan on losing to children, if that's what you're asking.

Chris: Tell that to the children.

Alan: Gladly.

(Alan walks past Chris and joins Grace, Matteo, Natalie, Ludwig and Axel. Alan nods gently at them all, receiving a wave from Natalie and a nod from Matteo. Alan doesn’t notice. Alan walks before settling down a few feet away from the four. After a moment of silence, Grace decides to speak up)

Grace: I dunno if there's a record or anything, but some of us AREN'T children. Me? I’m 20. Not a kid. Not scared. Okay?

(Alan reaches into his pocket and pulls out a cigar. He lights it and begins to smoke. After puffing once he pauses... then speaks)

Alan: We’ll see… …

Axel: (chuckles) Will YOU?

(Grace elbows Axel. This kid just gets ruder with each passing contestant)

Axel: What?!

Alan: (smiling) Hm. Good one.

Chris: (yells at Alan) NO SMOKING!!! THAT’S WRONG!

Grace: You admitted to insurance fraud not five minutes ago.

Chris: … Nevermind.


(A teenanger with a short figure and big bushy black hair cuts through the crowd like butter, not bothering to move for anyone. Unfortunately, due to their size, they get knocked around a whole lot. They stumble out of the ground and fall in front of Chris. They aggressively pick their stuff back up and look more than disgruntled as they notice the camera crew. She has on a jean vest with a couple of buttons attached. She has purple leggings and small, librarian-esque glasses)

(Walking behind her is a Sneasel with an equally dour and hateful expression. It swipes at someone’s leg and hisses at the tall people above it. The girl stands up and summons it back to its ball)

Chris: One cool cat. Payton! Ice Type!

PaytonCard by CoGreen20

Chris: How was your trip?

Payton: (annoyed) Some lady wouldn’t shut up her whiny kid on the train. An hour of this. An HOUR. Thank goodness my Sneasel knows Thief. So on the way out I switched her listerine with mace. That'll give HER something to cry about later.

Chris: HA! (chuckles) People crying. My favorite. I like you.

Payton: Weird. Now where do I screw off to? (sees the others) Over there? Got it.

(Payton walks over to the rest of the cast. She plops down further away from them than Alan did. A record is being set for how far someone can sit away from the group. Payton’s winning)

Ludwig: (turns to Payton) I’m Ludwig.

Payton: I’m indifferent.

(End of conversation. Ludwig goes wide eyed again and looks away. Strike two. He starts scribbling in his journal again, almost frantically)


(A woman, who can be no younger than fourty, approaches with a suitcase and a rather large purse. She has red hair, thin glasses, and a worn pink dress with a thin white jacket. She smiles upon seeing Chris and the others. She walks over to them, waving slowly. She puts down her bags and opens her arms wide)

Chris: I have no pun for Fairy Type that isn’t derogatory, so I’m just gonna say “hi Molly”!

MollyCard by CoGreen20

Chris: -Wait a minute why are you moving towards me like that?-


(Molly hugs Chris and squeezes him tightly. For a short woman, her hugs are monumental. Chris screeches, loathing genuine human affection. He is released)

Molly: Thank you so much for this wonderful opportunity. I promise I won’t let you down. I had a delay in the train station, I promise I won’t be late again! (Molly beams a heart-felt smile)

Chris: Why does everyone think they’re late?

Molly: I can explain. There was a woman choking on listerine in the train station terminal, so I kept her children distracted until the ambulance arrived. (she lowers her voice and frowns) It’s heartbreaking to watch a child undergo trauma. That should be saved for their teenage years. (giggles) … I’m sorry, that was dark. I apologize. (Molly seems flustered) Shall I start over?

Chris: (disturbingly unsarcastic) No. I like hearing about traumatized kids. Keep it going.

Molly: (ignoring that) Oh, but enough about me! (Molly hugs Chris again) Thank you! Thank you! My age is certainly the Donphan in the room, but I’m honored you selected me anyway.

(Chris scrambles out of the hug. He brushes himself off again and takes another step from Molly)

Chris: Well, you know how it goes. ANYONE can be a champion, I guess.

(Natalie nods in the background)

Chris: Except Bug Type, of course.

(Natalie shakes her head in the background)

Molly: (muses) Alright… Adventure awaits. Come, Dedenne.

(A small lump plops out of her purse. It’s a whiskered mouse with big ears and a plump body. It chitters merrily as Molly pets its head. Molly walks over and bridges the gap between Alan and the others. She smiles at him)

Molly: Oh! (Molly twirls some of her hair around with her finger) Hello there, sir. It's a beautiful day isn’t it?

Alan: ... (looks around) ... I’ll take your word for it.

(Molly blushes and stands interestingly close to Alan)


(A fairly large young adult with mountaineering clothing on, consisting of a wool hat and hefty boots. He has small pouches attached to his legs by belts barely covered by a large coat. He has a lot of scruff and a stray black hair that lingers down to an eye. He has a long ponytail that stiffly drifts along his back. The man has a very downplayed and stoic expression. It’d be easier to say he has no expression)

(He holds out his hand. A Starly flies down. A typical bird Pokemon. Just a bird, really. IT’S JUST A BIRD)

(This Starley looks DEAD. It's panting and heaving. It’s absolutely worn out. It looks like its gonna pass out)

Chris: I’m running out of ideas for puns.

Grace: Told ya.

Chris: So now I’m just gonna WING IT. Flying Type! Bolin!

BolinCard by CoGreen20

(Grace narrows her eyes but slowly claps. She’s gotta give him credit for that one)

Bolin: … I’ll wait.

Chris: Soooo Bolin! … What is up with your Starley?

(Bolin is stroking Starley’s beak, helping the poor creature breathe and relax. Bolin speaks with no inflection. Just a dull monotone)

Bolin: Her time’s improved.

Chris: … Usually I like people who are ominous and distant. They talk less. … Regardless, PLEASE elaborate.

Bolin: I opened a window on the train and had her fly alongside it for training.

Chris: … Seriously? … That seems kinda … impossible.

Bolin: It’s not hard to open those windows.

(The Starley wobbles and falls off his arm from pure exhaustion. Bolin summons it to the Pokeball before it can hit the ground)

Chris: (looks to the camera) That is some hardcore training, man.

(With that, Bolin moves to the others. A lot of people steer clear of him, especially after seeing how intense his training already is. The only ones unperturbed are Alan and Payton. Alan’s probably "seen" worse. Payton’s probably DONE worse)

Natalie: … (speaks up) Starley flew alongside the train the whole time? That’s remarkable.

Axel: Everything’s “remarkable” by comparison when you’re a Bug Type trainer.

(Natalie glares at Axel. She turns back to Bolin, who has given her the blind eye. No response at all)

(JOHTO NATIVES - Molly, Payton, Alan, Bolin)



Chris: Hoenn natives should have gotten off the S.S. Anne a bit ago. They’re to be chauffeured to this location any second now.

(A cab pulls up at the base of the train station staircase. A girl gets out, and her entrance gets quite a few city folk’s attention)

(This girl is wearing a cowboy hat, coygirl boots, a plaid button up tied at a knot around her naval, and has lustrous red hair. Her outfit is VERY revealing, and she has no reason not to feel like a sweet piece of eye candy. Her strut comes in the form of a confident series of stomps. She waves off the taxi and takes a deep breath of the city air. She then winces… clearly discovering that city air sucks. She walks up the staircase with only a duffel bag)

Chris: Our calm and “coal”ected, AMBER! Fire Type!

AmberCard by CoGreen20

(Amber tosses a Pokeball out and shows off a Vulpix. It cooes at Chris. He leans down to pet it. Amber speaks, exhibiting a thick southern accent)

Amber: Don’t forget my Vulpix. I’ll be heapin mad if y’all forget to jot BOTH of us down on that winner’s plaque at the end.

Chris: Will do. (Chris whispers to the camera) And not too shabby a trainer either. (Chris speaks up) So, what inspired Fire Type for you? Mutual hotness?

(Amber chuckles)

Amber: No, sir! When you’re given a name like “Amber” I reckon you don’t really have a lotta choices in types. (laughs heartily)

Chris: HA! True! Imagine being named “Bugsy”.

Amber: Eugh. Bug Type.

(Natalie throws her arms in the air. She is getting roasted left and right. Amber puts Vulpix back in the ball)

Amber: Anyway, I’m here to hog-tie, deep grill and spit roast the competition. (Amber muses at the contestants she sees) And some of ya look well done already. (she bounces her eyebrows)

Grace: Not interested, sorry.

Amber: What?

Ludwig: I don’t think this game would be appropriate for a relationship in the first place.

Amber: (confused) … I.. I wasn’t flirtin. It was a playful threat.

Axel: No, that was definitely a flirt.

Ludwig: I feel flirted with.

Natalie: You called us “well done”.

Molly: (raises hand) I’m the adult in the room. That was a flirt, honey. (giggles)

Amber: (groans and appears… rather angry) Oh SORRY! Am I supposed to be more upfront about it? It’s day one! Shoot me for trying to have a little class!!! YOU WANT A BLUNT THREAT!?!? (Amber’s demeanor has redshifted) How about “GET OUT OF MY WAY, OR GET UNDER MY BOOTS!” That work for ya!?

(Long silence. DANG that escalated FAST)

Alan: … THAT was a threat.

(Everyone nods in agreement and lets Amber take her place. She stands by everyone and smiles as if nothing happened)

Amber: Glad I could clear that up.

Axel: … I can see why you’re fire type beyond your name.

(Amber shoots Axel a rather impressive death glare. Axel shuts up. People keep their considerable distance from her)


Chris: … Hmm… Our next contestant should have arrived by now. Her name’s Angie. Amber, did you see Angie?

(Amber groans and shakes her head)

Amber: Would it surprise you if I said that meltdown was me blowing off steam from bein on the same boat as her for a day?

Chris: Well, she should have arrived in a cab by now-


(A girl leaps from from above and causes Chris to flounder backwards in absolute terror. The cast all jumps back in surprise as well. Bolin flinches but doesn’t flail to the extent everyone else does)

(Alan doesn’t flinch at all. Molly is holding onto him after being startled)

Alan: … I assume something happened.

Chris: A-Angie! Um, Fighting Type!

AngieCard by CoGreen20

(This girl is Angie. She’s short, wears a red shirt with an arrow symbol on it, and has short black hair and shorts. She just lept down from the roof of the station and landed perfectly fine)

Angie: Not much of an entrance … but it’s a STARTtle! (DABS)

(Ludwig almost chuckles, but Amber IMMEDIATELY covers his mouth as to not encourage Angie's sense of humor)

Payton: … … … (to Amber) I justify your anger.

Chris: Why, Angie? Why-

Angie: -Hold up! My routine’s not finished yet, bro.

(Angie points above her)


(Suddenly, a Makuhita falls off the roof, the same place Angie appeared from. Instead of landing gracefully the way she did, it plummets onto a man walking out of the train station and slams his face into the pavement)

Angie: ...

Chris: …

(The man is unresponsive)

Makuhita: … … … … … (dabs)

Angie: AAAYYYYYY!!!!

(The man lets out a muffled “aaaaaaayyyyyy”. He’s alive)

Chris: … We need know no more.

Angie: Gotcha, ma dude.

(Angie slides over to the others. She waltzes to Amber)

Angie: Yoooooo Amber! Hoenn-mutuals. Right, alright! POUND IT! (Angie holds out her fist)

(Amber, with a face of pure apathy, fist pumps Angie with immense power. CRUNCH. Angie still has a smile plastered on her face, but her eyes twitch from the impact)

Angie:  … Well THAT was painful. Amber 1. Angie 0. What it is!

(Angie takes a stance next to Bolin, which is the safest bet for everyone since Bolin won’t say or do anything to encourage a joke)

(HOENN NATIVES - Angie and Amber)



Chris: Our Sinnoh Natives flew here and got on a bus. They’ll be here any second now.

(Walking up the stairs is a hefty, friendly looking teenage boy with a purple letterman jacket and a dark purple undershirt. He has dark jeans and bright white sneakers with pink hearts on them. He skips merrily up the stairs… but can’t do it merrily since the weight of his bags prevent a lot of leaving the ground, so he just… dramatically rises from the bottom of the stairs)

Chris: Of ‘corpse’ our Ghost Type user arrives! Zane!

ZaneCard by CoGreen20

Payton: (raises a hand) He’s smiling too much. Get a new one.

(Zane runs over to Chris and bear hugs him. Chris withstands it)

Zane: (speaks a mile a minute) CHRIS! HUBERT! LAST NAME! You. Are. A. Legend! All those seasons of elimination games and you FINALLY decide to bring one of them here! I’m SO. EXCITED! (long gasp) … BUD! How’s Bud!? Are you two still working together!? Is he on this show!? Do we get to meet him!? Are you two still a thing? Were you ever a thing? I think so! I even have a chart! Wanna see?

Chris: (puts a finger to Zane’s lips) … All will be answered in due time… Hopefully “due time” is AFTER you’re eliminated, cuz I’m already bothered.

Zane: (Chris’ negativity goes completely over his head) I just think it’s so great how we get a chance to be the POKEMON LEAGUE CHAMPION without doing all of the gyms! I mean, the gym route isn’t as hard as this game is gonna be, cuz you ALWAYS find a way to make things fun for the audience! I’m just so happy to be part of this!

Chris: You’re REALLY enthusiastic for a guy about to be put through reality show hell.

(Chris gestures to the others, telling Zane to “beat it”. Zane moves to the other trainers)

Zane: Oh WOW! My competition! (Zane beams) This is exactly the way I envisioned it!

(Zane walks over to the other contestants. He gasps at the sight of Axel)

Zane: WOW! … How’d you get your hair that bright!? Green looks good on you! (stares at Axel) Are you wearing colored contacts. I can barely tell! Actually scratch that. I can totally tell, it’s why I mentioned them! WOW! Your eyes are like, RED. I’m getting lost in them!

(Axel just pouts and turns away from Zane, deeply irritated. Zane plops down between Matteo and Grace)

Zane: (to Grace) … WOAH! Speaking of hair, WOW!! (gestures widely to Grace’s hairstyle) How do you style it? You use gel? You use gel. It looks really nice! Like a tidal wave of hair! (does a “surf’s up” expression)

Grace: … Thank you-

Zane: -You’re welcome! (to Matteo) WOW! … Just wow! Your arms are huge! You work out a lot, don’t you? You have LOVELY cheek bones. Like, not the kind that stick out and make you look like you had work done, but the kind that make you say “dang, that’s a sculpture if I’ve ever seen one”. Yup.

Matteo: Um… (smiles) Thanks-

Zane: (to Payton. Zane gasps) WOW! You-

Payton: -I will kill you.

Zane: Okay. (still smiling, Zane sits upright and quits obliterating people with love)

Molly: … (frowns) … (SHE didn’t get any compliments. Zane notices her frowning)

Zane: PSST! (Molly looks at Zane) … (he whispers loudly) I like your glasses.

(Molly smiles)



(Everyone turns their attention to the oncoming battle cry. It’s a young frail voice that cracks as it screams. It’s a little kid)

(A youngster in typical attire, a backwards baseball cap, a shirt too big for him, and a wooden sword, rushes at Chris. He carries the sword above his head and runs with a surprising amount of ferocity for a little tyke)


(Chris screams and cowers. Grace casually walks over and grasps the sword in her palms as it nearly comes down over Chris’ head)

Grace: Careful, kid. He’s fragile.

Chris: HEY!!!

(The kid runs in place, being pushed back by Grace’s strength)

Chris: (stands up and clears his throat as the kid continues to run in place) Joey Young. Normal type.

JoeyCard by CoGreen20

Joey: (stops struggling and smiles a toothy grin at Chris) Hiya sir! Am I champion yet?

Chris: No and you never will be… (Chris has a realization) … Oh right. ‘Don’t be a d*** to kids.’ Part of my five step program. (Chris smiles) ANYONE can be Champion… you just have to beat all of THEM first.

(Chris gestures to the crowd of trainers gathered behind him)

(Joey peers around Chris. Amber punches her fist into her palms. Payton snaps a nail filer in half. Bolin merely stares in daunting emptiness. Alan puffs more smoke from his cigar. Axel is shaking a can of colored spray. They all take a moment from their routines to death glare Joey… (At least the ruthless ones do) Molly, Natalie, Ludwig and Zane all wave and smile)

(Joey’s not bothered)

Joey: They don’t look so tough… Especially not in the middle of a… … SNEAK ATTACK!

Angie: (yells) HECKLES MCGEE!!!

(Angie turns around and straight up punts something that bit her shoe. It was a Bidoof. The small, fat beaver Pokemon. The Bidoof SOARS off the balcony and into oncoming traffic. Sounds of a crash and car horns blaze from below)

Angie: …

Joey: … That was my Bidoof.

Chris: … Would it be considered rude if I were to laugh right now?

Joey: Bidoof’s the one laughing. Laughing in the face of DEATH! HA! He’s a TOP PERCENTAGE Bidoof. It’d take a BAJILLION kicks to make him faint even once! Just imagine how powerful I’ll be once I catch a RATTATA!

(The same Bidoof rushes up the stairs and runs to Joey’s embrace. Joey picks him and cuddles him)

Joey: OH THANK ARCEUS! YOU CAME BACK FOR ME!!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!!! (The Bidoof is overjoyed to be back with its master… and not in the middle of a car crash)

(Zane is crying right now, overjoyed by this heartfelt reunion. Molly is supplying him the tissues)

Chris: (leans down to Joey and pats him on the back) Joey, I have a bit of advice for you and you only.

(Joey listens attentively… Just kidding. He’s looking around being distracted by everything)

Chris: Find an adult in this game and try not to die.

Joey: I’m ALWAYS not die! (puffs out his chest)

Chris: Your rat just got kicked into traffic but okay.

Joey: What’s a rat?

Chris: … What IS a rat?

(Joey walks over to the other competitors. He talks to Axel)


Axel: No on so many levels.

(Joey moves to Angie)


(Angie just starts laughing and sobbing painfully)

(Joey moves to Matteo)


(Molly walks over and takes Joey’s hand. She has him stand with her. She immediately takes on the responsibility of protecting this child)

Molly: I’m an adult.

Joey: Found one! (gives a thumbs up to Chris. Chris just shakes his head)

Chris: (under his breath) Kid’s gonna die.

Joey: (to everyone) If I’m ever winning this game too much, I can go easy! Not ALL of us can have a Bidoof. (proudly holds up his prized Pokemon)

Axel: … As a matter of fact, ALL OF US could have a Bidoof. It is literally the EASIEST Pokemon to cat-

(Natalie shushes Axel, not wanting to ruin the fun for Joey. Axel snarks back)

Axel: Oh, right. Nevermind. They’re not. BUGS are the easiest to catch. There’s a whole trainer class dedicated to them.

(Natalie sighs. She’s getting tired of this)

Angie: (turns to Axel) The mean limit is 50 and you're foots on the pedal going at, like, an 80. Chill, bruh.

Axel: (defensive) What?!

(Natalie smiles at Angie. Angie gives her a thumbs up)


(A tan-skinned teen with a snug wool cap on his head walks up the stairs with a hiking backpack. He has on a blue vest and brown shorts. He looks like he just hiked here from wherever. He walks over to Chris and clears his throat)

Chris: Another competitor has “surfaced”. Ross! Water Type. Welcome.

RossCard by CoGreen20

(Ross starts shaking Chris’ hand)

Ross: Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with me, sir. Will we be discussing this in your office?

Chris: Huh? No, we’re out here, then we’re heading to the trailers. What office?

Ross: Ah! … Unorthodox, but (perks up) We’re outside. Everything’s better outside, you’re right.

(Ross pulls out a few notecards. He sifts through them. A Buizel, a water weasel, pokes out of his carrying bags. It sees everyone looking and darts back inside out of nervousness)

Ross: Ah. Here we go. (under his breath) Qualifications. Prior work experience. Okay. (looks to Chris with a very obvious fake smile) I would like to open up by sharing with you some of my past work and field experience. (Ross reads from the notecards) When I was 10, I worked as janitorial maintenance at Slateport’s Historical Nautical Museum. 13, I was hired as a member of their PR department. I currently work part time at Pastoria’s Great Marsh as a game curator and the rest of my time is spent studying to enroll in the Pokemon Ranger force, where I will be further developing my skills in survival, medical care, and-

Amber: -For pete’s sake, you serious, buck? (she lightly laughs)

Ross: (looks up) Huh? Questions? (looks a little frightened) … Um, sir I wasn’t aware there’d be a greater audience for this interview. Do you want me to involve them?

Chris: Interview?

(Chris chuckles to himself before patting Ross on the back)

Chris: You’re already in, bruh.

Ross: … OH! … … … (smiles and tucks the cards away. His fake smile drops into a natural one) That was… fast.

(Ross goes over and stands next to Molly and Joey. Joey reaches up to touch Ross’s belongings. A paw emerges and slaps Joey's hand away. Ross' Pokemon, a small river otter with an inflatable neck ring, pokes its head out of the bag. It's a Buizel. Ross looks down to see Joey and his Bidoof)

Ross: Cute Bidoof. Evolves into Bibarel. People can laugh at them all they want, but three of them alone can prevent a year of flash floods.

Joey: Wow, really!?

Ross: Very underrated Water Types.

Joey: (points to Bidoof) He’s gonna help me catch a Rattata!

(HOENN NATIVES - Zane, Joey, Ross)


(KALOS and ALOLA natives)

(A helicopter suddenly comes down and parks at the long end of the balcony where nobody resides. Everyone steps back to give it room. Four trainers are aboard this helicopter. They’re introduced one by one)

Chris: The Kalos and Alola trainers flew here by plane. It was a LONG flight. Practically a day. … So we sent them a helicopter to make their air sickness even worse. Hehehehe.

(A girl gets off the helicopter. She’s in her teens, wears a reddish jacket with bright blue pants and black boots. Her hair is blonde and tied into a rather large ponytail with pink and blue highlights. She has black books. She walks over to Chris and puts down her three patterned suitcases. She rubs the back of her neck and smiles)

Chris: Hope you don’t “mind” the arrival of our Psychic type trainer. Trixie, everyone.

TrixieCard by CoGreen20

Trixie: (waves) Hi everyone!

Chris: Fun fact for you all, but Trixie here is an ACTUAL psychic, as stated on her application.

(Everyone stares at Trixie. They take a short step back. A PSYCHIC. Mind reading? Levitating? Oh dear... To have your mind read on national television doesn't sound appealing to anybody)

Trixie: (holding her hands up) Woah. Hey. I just wanna say that I’m not one of those psychics who reads people’s mind and overshares everything.

(Everyone collectively sighs in relief. Good move, Trixie)

Chris: A PSYCHIC trainer who’s psychic themselves! Neat-o! Do a trick for us.

Trixie: … I prefer not to show off.

Chris: … (agrees) Honestly… GOOD. I have a habit of throwing flashy mediums into trash bags and catapulting them anyway.

(Trixie looks at Chris in a purely “WTF” manner)

Chris: … It’s actually not a long story.

Trixie: … I’m okay not hearing it.

Chris: Probably cause you read my mind, right? (smiles)

Trixie: Yup! (She turns to the other contestants) Hi-

(A long gasp from one of the contestants)

Zane: TRIXIE! MASTERSON- Sorry I interrupted. Please continue.

Trixie: Oh. No. I was just gonna say hi. (smiles and waves) Hi.

Zane: …

Trixie: … You can say your thing now.


Chris: (looks to Trixie) You wrote a thing?

Trixie: I’m a writer of a comic series. Sucker Punch. It’s-

Zane: (runs over) -About a girl who lives a secret life of superheroism! When danger is afoot, she becomes her super hero persona, SUCKER PUNCH where she proceeds to destroy evil in all of its distasteful forms! (to Trixie) Sooooooo the main character. Is she gonna fall for Sam at work, or Jetfire? If she fell for Sam, she’d have to tell them about her identity! If she falls for Jetfire, she wouldn’t have to hide anything, BUT I REALLY SHIP SAM AND SUCKER PUNCH, SO-

Trixie: -That’ll be answered in the next issue. (giggles) Happy to meet a fan.

Angie: More like a SUPER fan!

(Pun master. Zane high fives her instantly)

Payton: Who. Literally. Cares?

(Zane silently raises his hand)

Payton: … Who here cares... that has an opinion to care about? (looks around) ... Weird, nobody.

Chris: As an adult that shouldn’t condone bullying, I completely agree. Shut up Zane.

Payton: (gestures to Chris) I don't make the rules.

(Trixie leers at Payton, immediately taken back by her blunt rudeness. Trixie has her eyes on Payton)

Trixie: You’d think an Ice Type trainer would learn to chill.

Angie: BURN!!! … or in this case… FREEZE!

Payton: Write about me in your next comic, blondie.

(Trixie doesn't back down so easily, but Amber interrupts to confront Chris)

Amber: (to Chris) Isn’t the host suppose’ta be unbiased or somethin? Yer hatin on everyone.

Chris: Angie is literally the only one here I actually like.

Angie: … REALLY!??

Chris: Regardless of that, as a host meant to test you all, I'm free to be as unwelcoming as I want.

Grace: In other words, we get on your nerves as easy as you bruise.

Amber: (smirks) That was good. (Grace and Amber fist bump)

Chris: Shhhhhhhut up Zane.

Zane: But I didn’t-

Chris: -I said shut up, Natalie.

Natalie: (Natalie sighs) I didn't say anything.

Chris: I’m having a moral crisis. I don’t know which one of you is my least favorite yet… but it’s DEFINITELY not Angie.

(Angie does a celebrational splits. She thrusts her arms in the air and nods with a stoic facial expression)

(Payton maintains a hard scowl at Trixie. Trixie takes a seat on one of her bags near the group of everyone. She sits near Axel, Angie and Ludwig)

Ludwig: (to Trixie) Sorry you got bombarded like that.

Trixie: I don’t mind! … I’m actually… kind of confused. It’s not that popular a comic. I’m surprised anyone here even knows it exists.

Axel: (turns around) Maybe it’s because nobody reads comics anymore.

Trixie: … (blinks) … Oh… Okay?

(One of Trixie’s duffelbags opens up. Axel looks over at it. Two pairs of eyes, unblinking, stare out at him)

Axel: … When was the last time you trained your luggage? (Axel chuckles, enjoying his own joke)

(The bag emits a small growl. The eyes remain transfixed and unmoving. “Essssspppuuuuurrrrr” )

Ludwig: (having enough of Axel’s snarkiness) Hey. Be nice.

Axel: Hey, poindexter, my type may not affect you, but between us as trainers you don’t affect a smidgen of me. Got it? Back up.

(Ludwig looks at Trixie. Trixie just shrugs, not knowing what his business is)

Trixie: (on a roll with shutting down the season smart mouths) Well maybe you should be a little nicer to ME then. I have a type advantage AGAINST you and if we end up in a challenge that’s free for all, I know who I’m targeting.

(Axel immediately shuts up and looks away. It worked. Ludwig smiles at Trixie. She proudly crosses her arms)

Angie: (leans in slowly to Trixie) Shall I relieve tension by performing a solid dab?

Bolin: (overhearing) What’s a ‘dab’?

Natalie: (raises hand weakly) I could use some cheering up.

(Angie does a solid dab for Natalie)

Natalie: Thank you.

(Their attention is captured by another contestant appearing)


(A girl with bright orange hair gets off the helicopter. She has on a backpack and a rolling suitcase. She’s very neat and orderly. Her hair is smooth and bobbed. She has a furbished yellow checkered dress and a pair of brown boots. She walks in a perfect straight line, coordinated and punctual)

Chris: Ready to rock!? Here’s our signature Rock Type specialist, Alice!

AliceCard by CoGreen20

Alice: As a rock type aficionado I must admit it was an …. engaging experience being in a plane transferred to a helicopter, approximating twenty seven consecutives hours being miles above ground…

Chris: …

Alice: But exposition aside, Greetings, Mr. Chris.

Chris: Please. Call me MASTER Chris.

Alice: (smiles and nods) Thank you so much for this opportunity, Master Chris-

Chris: -No. Actually call me Chris. I was pulling your leg.

Alice: … Oh.

Chris: Carry on.

Alice: Right. (hoists her bags to her side) If you don’t mind, I’m hoping to set the bar a little higher than expected for this game. At least for myself, that is.

Chris: I feel like I’ve been saying this a lot today, but … “Why’s that?”

Alice: If I’m to win, I’m hoping to complete my studies and become the first Pokemon Champion AND Professor. My biggest fear coming here was the combatant system, but Rock Type is fairly defensive and malleable to readily available stat boosts. I’ve trained with a fighting type gym leader, so learning to withstand the disadvantage has given me a fortuitous edge in terms of battle-esque stability. (she moves some hair out of her face) Not ego. Being smart is about encompassing knowledge in order to head off to bigger places, not get big headed. (she pauses and smiles cutely) See? “Head to big places, don’t get big headed”. I didn’t quote that. That’s my own saying. Credit me if usage applicable. (teeters)

Chris: Well, you sound like you have everything put together. But remember, you have a couple of obstacles. (Chris gestures to the other contestants)

(Alice merely looks at them. She tilts her head as they all do a repeat of their “intimidation” tactics. Smoking, cracking knuckles, dabbing, staring, etc)

(Alice bestows a rather impressive poker face. She holds up a Pokeball. She releases what’s inside)

(A rather tall and formidable Pokemon emerges. It’s a dinosaur. One as tall as her torso. A Tyrunt)

Alice: I’m skilled in fossil resurrection. As a rock type specialist, it’s practically a territorial must.

(Yeah, nobody wants to tango with a dinosaur. Those with disadvantages against Rock start to feel the pressure. Bolin, Natalie, Payton and Amber all exchange glances)

Alice: … (looks back and forth between Chris and the other trainers) … I realize I just made a bad first impression with you all. I’m sorry.

Payton: UGH! You were doing so well up to this point.

Bolin: (solemnly) You’re strong. Your Pokemon are too. You didn’t hide that. Don’t be ashamed.

Angie: Dang girl. Nice rock.

Alice: (pats her Tyrunt’s head) Well. (she lifts the Pokeball and summons it back inside) Thank you.

(Alice moves into the crowd and stands next to Ross, Joey and Molly)

Joey: … (mumbles) Still not as good as a Rattata.

Alan: (whispers to Molly) This girl brought out a Pokemon and everyone gasped. What was it?

Molly: (whispers back) A Tyrunt. Very strong.

Alan: … Hmmm… (Refixes his blind gaze ahead of himself)


(This time, a bou gets off the helicopter. He’s broad, muscular with some bulk, asian, and in his late teens. He has a short sleeved navy sweatshirt, white tank top, black shorts, and sneakers. Spiky black hair. He walks over to Chris with an interesting Pokemon by his side)

(This Pokemon is a small dragon with a heart shaped frontal scale. It seems to be comprised of them. It’s a Jangmo-o)

Chris: … Umm… pun… Uh…

Angie: I hope this intro sequence doesn’t “drag on” for our Dragon Type user.

Chris: (points at Angie) What I tell ya? Best contestant. (gestures to Ryuma) Anyway. Ryuma!

RyumaCard by CoGreen20

Ryuma: (bouncing on his heels with his hands in his coat pocket) So when do we start?

Chris: Soon.

Ryuma: How soon? Cuz I’m ready to go right now. Right, Jangmo-o?

(The stoutly dragon with large scales purrs in agreement. It's as he said, a Jangmo-o)

Chris: Well we have one more contestant to introduce and then we move on.

Ryuma: Great okay. I’ll make my intro fast. I just wanna get this started.

(Ryuma hastily turns to everyone)

Ryuma: Hi! My name’s Ryuma. Dragon type-

Grace: -We already know that, champ.

Ryuma: -Crud. I’m killing time. Nevermind. You can learn all about me in after-game interviews once I win. Okay! Go! (smiles and sits down with the others)

Amber: Um! You think YOU’RE gonna win? Fat chance-

Chris: -Short and sweet. I like it. Moving on.

(Amber leers ar Ryuma. He notices her glare. He just lightly waves with an innocent smile. She does a “cutthroat motion”. Ryuma playfully rolls his eyes and looks away, brushing her off)


(The final contestant gets off the helicopter. They have only a duffelbag with a little Pokemon sitting on top. It’s a Bounsweet. The Bounsweet rolls along the ground after toppling off)

(The trainer leaps out. They’re a sight. They pick up the Bounsweet. This trainer has half a head shaved and has dark eyeshadow, tan skin, and a flowing, half head of green hair. They’re outfitted like a punk rock star, which contrasts with the ginger way they pick up their Bounsweet. She daintily walks over to the cast with her supplies and Pokemon, holding it like a baby)

Chris: Here’s someone to “root” for! Everyone, this is Malika. Our Grass type specialist.

MalikaCard by CoGreen20

Malika: (waves to everyone) Hi! I’m Malika. (she sways on her heels cutely) I’m so happy to be here! We ready to get this party started!?

Zane: WOO!!!

Chris: Woah. Malika. You’re certainly… accessorized.

(Malika has half a head shaved, has piercings, a tattoo on her leg, thick mascara, a leather jacket, is wearing predominantly all black save for her green hair and undershirt)

Malika: Wellllllll, I like to think the Champion needs to have a little sense of style. Give the challengers something to look at, ya know?

Chris: Yup. Who doesn’t love looking at a direct remembrance of everyone’s middle school emo phase?

Malika: (laughs) Good one!

Chris: See everyone? This girl knows how to take a joke.

Malika: You’re a riot, Chris!

(Malika lightly, and I emphasize, LIGHTLY, punches Chris’s shoulder. Chris falls over and starts crying)

Malika: Oh my gosh! Chris! I-

Grace: -Girl, you’re fine. He’s just weak.

Malika: Oh thank goodness.

Chris: UuuGHhhIHhhHGGGgghhuuu…

(Malika takes a seat with Trixie, Ludwig, Axel and Angie. Trixie shakes her hand)

Trixie: Hi. I’m Trixie.

Malika: Name’s Malika. Friends call me Malika. Enemies call me GrassStain and DipFace.

Chris: CURSE YOU DIPFACE!... and Zane… and Natalie…

Natalie: (throws her hands in the air again) What did I do?

(Malika continues to formally introduce herself before Chris makes the intro announcement)


Ryuma: (whistles) Hey, Chris? Can we hurry this up, please?

Chris: When I FEEL like it!!!!

Everyone: …

Chris: … Okay, now I feel like it. We have our cast! Axel, Payton, Zane, Grace, Matteo, Ludwig, Alice, Malika, Trixie, Ryuma, Natalie, Ross, Angie, Amber, Bolin, Molly, Alan and Joey. If you’d all follow me, that’d be great… and mandatory. Do it.

(They all follow Chris, bringing their Pokemon and belongings with them. They head off into the city of Saffron to the next step of the introduction that Chris has planned)

(The game is just beginning... )




(To Be Continued)


Molly MacGrady - Fairy type Dedenne 
Zane Lute - Ghost type#092 Gastly 
Alan Collins - Dark type#198 Murkrow 
Ross Marciano - Water type#418 Buizel 
Malika Carter - Grass type#761 Bounsweet 
Amber McLeod - Fire type:vulpix: 
Trixie Masterson - Psychic type#677 Espurr 
Payton Rothman - Ice type#215 Sneasel 
Grace Cirillo - Electric type#081 Magnemite  
Joey Young - Normal type#399 Bidoof 
Axel Kens - Poison type#023 Ekans 
Bolin Temirov - Flying type#396 Starly 
Ludwig Von Malmar - Steel type#374 Beldum 
Ryuma Scifo - Dragon typeSophie Sprite 
Natalie Harlow - Bug type#010 Caterpie 
Alice Kuroski - Rock typeTyrunt 
Matteo Rossi - Ground type #027 Sandshrew 

Chapter Text

REGION TROTTERS: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 1
Alan (DARK), Axel (POISON), Bolin (FLYING), Joey (NORMAL), Ludwig (STEEL), Matteo (GROUND), Ross (WATER), Ryuma (DRAGON), Zane (GHOST)
Alice (ROCK), Amber (FIRE), Angie (FIGHTING), Grace (ELECTRIC), Malika (GRASS), Molly (FAIRY), Natalie (BUG), Payton (ICE), Trixie (PSYCHIC)


=== Route 5, Kanto === (After a brief walk through the hulking city, the cast comes to the edge of northern Saffron. They come to a barren, grassy-fielded route, Route 5. Continuing up this path will take them to Cerulean City. But they’re not going to Cerulean City)

Chris: Ladies and gentleman, our mode of transportation.

(The cast stops to take in the sight of what they will be staying in for the remainder of the competition)

Cast: OOOOOOoooooooooOOooohhh!!!! / WOW! / Look at that! / That's bougie / I love it! / Neat! / AAAAAAH!!!

(The mode of transport… It’s a red van with the show’s name and brand printed on the side as an advertisement)

(But that’s not what the cast “oooh”d at)

(Attached to the back of the van are two large trailers connected as a train would connect its cars. Both of the trailer's sizes would make it believable that the inside would encompass movie stars, acclaimed talents, and egotistical politicians. There's a door on each trailer with sliding-out stairs. One door is light blue, the other is pink)

Chris: This is how we’ll get around from town to town. The blue door is for the boy's trailer and the pink door is for the girl's because I love WHAT!? Gender conformity. Moving on. Now UNFORTUNATELY, we’ve installed bathrooms in both trailers.

Ryuma: How’s that a bad thing? Without them we’d have to do our business out windows.

Natalie: (smiling) Awwwww. We’d be like… a travelling caravan of fertilizer distribution.

Angie: We’d be straight up disgusting, that’s what.

Ross: ACTUALLY, that wouldn’t be too bad for the environment as long as we bury our-

Chris: -Can we not? Anyway, the reason it’s bad news is because we accidentally installed a URINAL in the girl’s side… Sooo you’ll have to deal with that.

Angie: We can just live on the blue side then if that’s the only difference. No big deal. … OR we can live with the urinal and make it, like, a shrine or something. It’d be mad funny.

Alice: I can agree to the first suggestion.

(All of the girls nod and agree that they’d like to live in the blue side then, since that's the bathroom without the urinal)

Chris: But… boys get the blue side and girls get the pink side. That’s just how it is.

Payton: (sarcastically) What's next, is the girl's trailer fitted with 60's housewives gettup and for the rest of the game we're gonna have to cook meals for the boys, because asking me to cook for you is how you get a purposeful kidney disease.

Ryuma: (tapping his foot on the ground) Alright, alright, alright. Point made. It’s cool, Chris; they can have the blue side. We’ll take the pink; None of us mind.

Axel: I once inhaled an entire bottle of silly string and now colors are sometimes inverted to me. If I wanted to see blue, I could.

Ludwig: You should see a doctor about that.

Axel: (angry at Ludwig) You’d like that wouldn’t you!?

(Ludwig steps slowly away from Axel)

Zane: (moving on) I don’t mind because pink is my favorite color. Blue too. And green. And yellow. And aquamarine. And psychedelic mardi gras. And-

Ryuma: (smiling and nodding) -Yeah. The BOYS will take the pink side and the GIRLS will take the BLUE side. Problem solved. Can we move on?

Angie: You know what would be hilarious? If the urinal was STILL used as a shrine.

Joey: It will appease all Rattata.


Ryuma: Yup. Let’s go. Let’s go. Let’s go.

Chris: Anyway, Bud and I will be in the van for the game. We'll be driving you around and engaging in questionably accidental knee touching with one another. ... Bud’s our driver. OH BUD!!!

Alice: He sounds like a nice man.

Chris: You are wrong. (turns) Oh, here he comes!

(Here comes Bud. Bud is Chris’ assistant. The co-host. He’s a large, intimidatingly burly and hulking man with a large fuzzy mustache. He has a deadpan and uncaring demeanor that can quickly turn to fire if provoked. He walks over wearing a plaid shirt and a trucker hat)

Bud by CoGreen20

Chris: Bud-

Bud: -No. Don’t waste time introducing anyone to me. I don’t care. I don’t wanna care. Cuz if I get attached I’ll either cry when they leave OR affectionately bully them like I did in the good old days by shoving their faces into explosives, lighting them on fire and coercing them off cliffs with meatball cannons and whatnot.

Grace: Context. Now.

Amber: What?

Bud: So for the love of all that is holy… do NOT waste time saying “HERE’S BUD, KIDS! SAY HI TO HIM EVERY NOW AND THEN” because I’m DONE with that… I just wanna drive the truck and wear plaid in peace. ... (touches the plaid shirt he's wearing) I never want this phase to end.

Chris: …. (continues) Here’s Bud everyone! Say “hi” Bud!

Bud: Eat my entire collection of boot-cut jeans.

(Bud walks back to the van grumpily)

Chris: Hm. Well anyway, notice how this van has a backseat? Well, if you’d look…

(Chris opens up the backseat of the van. Inside is a chair installed into the wall, and a camera at the back)

Chris: This, ladies and gentlemen, is the season INTERVIEW NOOK. When you want to dish out some dirt, get something off your chest, or just talk at the audience, you come here. Got that? Try it out!

(ATTENTION NEW READERS. “--->” means the contestant is speaking from within the interview nook. Let the power of psychological association methods compel you to relate “--->” with confessionals)

---> Grace: I’m a mechanic. I know all there is to know about motor vehicles. If anything happens to this van, I can fix it… (smirks almost … calculatingly) In exchange for immunity. Hehe. … ... I'm kidding. Immunity isn't gonna pay off the extra guac at Chimpotle.

---> Alan: (looking the wrong way) So which way’s the camera? … (pause. He then turns around and sits comfortably in the chair) I’m joking. That was a joke. I’m not that dense. (he sternly addresses the camera) I’m more than what my eyesight isn’t, I just want to make that clear.

---> Ryuma: (smiling) I like this confessional doohickey. The more people talk in here, the less they talk during challenges, the faster the challenges can go then the faster everyone can leave and the faster I can win. This is a game and it can be fun, but fun can always pick up the pace a little, ya know?

---> Malika: We’re like a little mobile caravan of awesome loveable misfits. Like the Island of Misfit Toys… only the island moves and people actually want us.

---> Alice: I have to admit, I’m a little worried about the trial process. The role of champion isn’t purely … combat. It’s a lot more than that. The champion delegates. They run an EMPIRE. They’re a spokesperson, and an idol. They need to be more than POWER. ... (Alice looks unamused) With that said, I'm ready for the sausage fest. (deep sigh)

---> Angie: Yeah, I don’t like this thing. My jokes are better in front of live audiences. An inanimate camera won’t applaud you or tell you to shut the heck-o up and rethink your career choice. No variety. None.

---> Ross: (his Buizel is on his lap) Having to constantly smile around people is tiring. Pokemon don’t care as long as you make noises as if you were smiling… Pokemon without a heightened social sense require TONE to receive a message. (Ross screams aggressively at Buizel) I LOVE YOU, BUIZEL! (Buizel looks startled)

---> Joey: … So when do I get to catch a Rattata?

---> Trixie: ... This is going to be a choice, to use my first confessional in this way... But there's something I should get off my chest HERE and not in front of all of the others… … I’m actually not a fully fledged psychic… Not YET. These abilities run in the family and I should be able to… fully tap into that. There are different abilities of being a psychic, and my family line is full of clairvoyants, people who can see into the future. I'm still learning, and I can do small things like tell you if your ramen's gonna burn or tell you what time it'll be in 20 minutes… ... (Trixie winces) I want people to know I'm psychic, but I don't want people to know I'm BAD at it.


Chris: Today is ending, and we’ll begin our journey tomorrow. Please enter your trailer for the night and unpack. Pick your bunkmates, and get ready for an adventure!

(They all cheer, or most of them do. They disperse into the trailers to begin the moving-in process... )




=== Inside Boy’s Trailer === (The inside of the trailers have a small counter with a mirror and a supply cabinet on one end. On the other end is a large window with a table and cushion chairs forming a booth fused into the wall. Along the walls on both sides are bunk beds. There’s a door to the bathroom at the end)

(Axel, Ryuma, Bolin, Joey, Ross, Matteo, Zane, Ludwig and Alan all gather inside with their bags. They all now have to decide who they’re bunking with. There’s one lone bunk)

Ryuma: So first thing’s first, we decide who gets the lone bunk. ... I want it.

Bolin: I need a place to store my hunting supplies.

Alan: I’d be less of a hassle to deal with if I were to have it.

Ludwig: I have some delicate equipment that I need to store.

Axel: I just want it; that’s my excuse.

Joey: I still pee the bed.


---> Joey: (giggling) I don’t actually pee myself. I just wanted an extra bed for Rattata to have once I catch him! We sleep like KINGS on this team!


(Ross is sitting on a bottom bunk. He grabbed it and is now lying down reading a survival manual. Zane walks over and leans over him)

Zane: Whatcha readin?

Ross: A survival manual… but I’m not sure why anymore. I thought we’d be camping every night.

Zane: We ARE camping. But instead of a tent, we’re in a box. And instead of a fire, we have heating. Instead of listening to Mightyenas howling, we have late night gossip sessions! And instead of Ursarangs invading our camps and eating our food, we have trailer mates who “borrow” each other’s soaps and mix up underwear in the laundry!

(Ross’ Buizel pokes out of his luggage. It spots Zane and panics. It goes back inside)

Ross: My Buizel’s a little jumpy. … Say, I don’t think we ever got to see YOUR Pokemon.

Zane: Ah, he’s shy. He’s my Gastly. So I get the whole “shy Pokemon” thing. Right there with ya. And SPEAKING of people being with ya… (Zane bounces his eyebrows and and puts his hands on his hips)

Ross: Umm… I’m really sorry, but I'm straight.

Axel: (offscreen) My condolenses, it must be hard!

Zane: Nah, Ross. What I'm trying to say is... (points at the bunk and smiles) Is the top bunk taken?

Ross: … OH! Uhhhh no. It’s all yours.

(Zane leaps up onto the bed. He wiggles and relaxes like a strange oversized cat. He exhales and lounges about)

---> Ross: Zane’s uh… a pretty upbeat guy. It’s kind of unnerving. The guy’s never upset about anything and I don’t get that. He tried to draw a welcome mat out of all the dirt we tracked into the trailer.


(Ryuma and Axel approach one another. Ryuma is looking at Axel’s bright green hair, red eyes, and oddly sharp teeth)

Ryuma: Hey. Gamera. You’re not legitimately poisonous, are you?

Axel: Ummm…

Ludwig: (walks past the two, carrying his luggage) Only if he were to be liquidated and consumed.

Axel: Get your kinky garbage out of here, I ain't about that life!

Ryuma: (to Axel) So, bunkmates?

Axel: … (shrugs) Sure.

(Ryuma and Axel walk to claim a bunk. Ludwig walks over and bunks with Bolin. Matteo and Alan bunk together as well)

---> Ryuma: I picked Axel because he tends to get on everyone’s nerves. So it’s likely that he’ll tap out early. Thus, full bunk for me! … (pause) … Hey, he’s a pretty upfront guy. I can be upfront too.

---> Axel: (bored) I think one of my best traits is my honesty. If I see something I don’t like, I say it. It’s only day one and I already have people getting on my case about that. Maybe they just don’t like what I’m saying because they know I’m right.
(Chris pokes his head into the confessional)
---> Chris: Or maybe it’s because you look like an ugly Christmas sweater with body odor and a bad, unlikeable temperament.
---> Axel: …
---> Chris: … Hey, I spend all season getting roasted. Join the club.
---> Axel: (summons Ekans. Ekans chases Chris out of the confessional, screaming)


=== Inside Girl’s Trailer === (Exactly the same as the boy’s. Malika, Payton, Molly, Amber, Natalie, Alice, Grace, Angie and Trixie are all gathered about. The girls are currently debating who gets the lone bunk bed)

Molly: A bunk all to oneself. (giggles) Would it be a crime to pull the seniority card?

Payton: No, but not wanting to call 911 when your bunkmate grandma falls out of bed in the middle of the night and break her life alert is. That said, you still want it?

Grace: (looks to Amber) I’m surprised Mt. Amber over here hasn’t exploded yet.

Amber: Hm? What about me?

Angie: (giggling) Oh nothing, just that this argument could get preeeetty heated.

Grace: (bumps an elbow against Amber) I dunno, maybe Amber just likes it hot.

(Amber blushes. Does Grace even understand how smooth she’s being?)

Amber: (scoffs. She’s snaps back to being snide) HMPH! You city folk are so materialistic. It’s just an empty bed, you put yerself on it and you shut yer eyes and face up. What else?

Angie: All this bed talk is really making me tired. Let’s hurry this up so we can put this issue to rest.

Alice: I agree with Angie. We-

(They all simultaneously realize Angie said a pun... They all groan)

Payton: Alright, I'm gonna say something before this becomes habitual for her. (turns to Angie) For every pun you say from here on out, I'm yanking out one of my teeth in the middle of the night, scoring a dollar from the toothfairy, and saving up money from there. Brass knuckles cost five dollars if you know where to look. ... I know where to look. Don't let me reach five.

Angie: You'd be good at-

Payton: -I know I would. (doesn't even let her finish)

---> Angie: Yeesh!

Alice: I suggest we draw straws. Longest straw gets the bunk to themselves. We don’t have any straws, so we’ll just use makeup brushes.

(The girls hold out their makeup brushes and put them in a small pile. Alice grabs a handful and holds them out for everyone to take. Before they get taken, Trixie interrupts)

Trixie: D-do you mind if I go first?

Alice: (shrugs) No harm.

Amber: UM. YES harm. She’s a PSYCHIC. She’ll cheat!

(Alice holds the makeup brushes away from Trixie)

Alice: Um… I’m sorry. She’s right. Precautions must be taken.

(Trixie watches as everyone grabs their brushes first. Alice hands Trixie the final brush… the shortest of them all)

Alice: Ohhh. My apologies. But I'm sure you foresaw this anyway.

(Trixie smiles. Yeah, sure she did... )

---> Trixie: I wasn’t gonna cheat… I was gonna practice. Thing is… I’ve never really taken the time to practice my abilities. I only told everyone I had them because I didn’t want to be seen as weak so early on… … (Trixie, in frustration, stomps the ground, but not too roughly) … I did this to myself.

Malika: Sticks and stones may break my bones but the short sticks do like Trixie. Wanna bunk?

Trixie: … What?

Malika: Wanna bunk? (Malika grabs Trixie’s arm) We can have girl talk. And like, one of us is psychic so our gossip are gonna be on the NEXT. LEVEL! You can smack talk people in the FUTURE! That's a done deal! We're bunking!

Trixie: (smiles) Oh, alright!

(Malika and Trixie walk to claim a bunk)


(After a short observing session of who has what sized and length of makeup brushes… they conclude that MOLLY has won the bunk to herself)

Molly: (giggles) You all wouldn’t want to be immersed in my “mom perfume” anyway.

Payton: (rolls her eyes) We get it, people have come out of you. (Payton taps her foot) Alright, someone's bunking with me, who is it? I reserve the right to say no and make you feel bad about it.

Amber: I’ll bunk with Payton, because I know whatever she tries to pull with me AIN’T gonna fly. (Amber leans down and points in Payton’s face) You mess with me, I roast your creamsicle Pokemon to a puddle.

Payton: Bite me.

Amber: I’d prefer to Flame Wheel.

(Payton narrows her eyes. She walks to her new bunk carrying her luggage. Amber and Payton are bunking together... )

---> Natalie: Honestly, I’m happier knowing they’re out for each other’s blood and not mine. I’m gonna prove that Bug Type are just as strong as everyone else… it just so happens that it's easier to do that when you're alive.


(Grace approaches Alice, who is coordially putting back all the makeup brushes)

Grace: Hey. Egghead. (punches Alice’s shoulder. Alice stumbles a bit) Wanna bunk? I’m a total top, all the way.

(Alice blushes. Grace, seriously)

Alice: Under one condition. You explain the science behind how your hair can do THAT.

(Grace’s amazing flowy hairstyle is once again brought to the discussion table)

Grace: Deal.

(Grace and Alice smile at one another and begin unpacking)


(That leaves Angie and Natalie)

Natalie: (turns to Angie) So it looks like we’re bunkmates, huh?

Angie: Welcome to heck, scoobert. (Angie moves to put her stuff away. Natalie just seems confused) Feel free to take whichever bunk.

Natalie: … No jokes? Nothing at the expense of my typing? Nothing?

Angie: Hey. (looks to Natalie) Mean spirited humor isn’t as good as MEME spirited humor. Ya know?

Natalie: … (smiles) T-thank you.

Payton: (offscreen) Bugs still suck.

(Natalie sighs)




=== Route 5, Outer Van === (Bud is currently looking at the engine of the truck. He’s tinkering with it. Grace approaches him and watches him work for a few seconds. He doesn't notice she's there)

Bud: (grumbling) Stupid low caliber budget. We wouldn't have these problems if this was posted on Stupid script format.

Grace: (looking at the engine) You considering replacing that camshaft? It looks a little-

(Bud turns around FAST, startling Grace. She jumps back but remains neutral expressioned)

Bud: -Go away! I’m a JUDGE this season. I can’t have any bias towards any contestants. The more you exist around me, the more I hate you. GO!

Grace: Ohhhh so you’re a judge?

Bud: I said GO!!

Grace: Ooookay.

(Grace turns around and leaves. She walks past Axel who is shaking a can of spray paint while facing the side of the trailer)

Grace: Hm. Nice etching, Leonardo. Have fun getting away with that while Bud’s around.

Axel: Pfft. I could take him. What type does he specialize in?


(Bud straight up TACKLES Axel offscreen. Axel screeches in pure horror. His Ekans slivers after him frantically. Grace chuckles)

Grace: ... That looks like Fighting to me.

(Grace walks off as Axel is apprehended offscreen)


(Chris is sitting in the passenger seat. It's been a long day already... For the first time today, Chris leans back to take a quick nap... That is until there’s a loud and terrifying PANG against the side window. Chris shrieks and looks out... It was Matteo’s ill-behaved Sandshrew)

Chris: AH!!!!!!!

(Sandshrew is suddenly summoned back to its ball. Matteo, it’s master, approaches. He's shaking his head disapprovingly at his Pokemon. He waves at Chris who rolls down the window)

Matteo: So... Um... some of the boys were wondering when chow time was.

Chris: We’ll have a real meal once we reach our destination. In the meantime, interns will provide chips and disappointing packs of Lunchables with the wrappers removed.

Matteo: Why remove the wrappers?


Chris: (darkly chuckles) Killin y’all slowly.

(Chris turns away from Matteo only to see Ryuma at the other side of the car window. Chris grumbles and rolls down that window too)

Chris: This is what I get for installing windows in this thing.

Ryuma: You mean the van came WITHOUT windows?

Chris: Yes. And it was great.

Ryuma: How would you go about DRIVING that?

Chris: Bud’s a good improviser. He would of thought of something.

Ryuma: I guess. Dude looks like he's been around. Jail, to name a place.

Chris: Now that’s just racial profiling.

Ryuma: He literally has a tattoo on his back that says “Momma’s Little Convict” with a… weirdly well drawn picture of a man biting a Machoke’s ear off. It’s very graphic.

Chris: Appreciate art a little more.

Ryuma: … Anyway, when do we leave?

Chris: Pretty soon actually. Sun’s going down. In fact, start telling everyone to get inside the RVs.

---> Ryuma: I just REALLY wanna get this game started. I won’t relax until at least ONE person goes home. It’s the starting point, and everything builds up to the first out. From there, it's to the championship.

(Alice, Joey, and Ross walk up to Chris’ window as soon as Ryuma runs off)

Chris: Oh my GOSH! I JUST WANT TO NAP! (to Alice) The nearest library is in Pewter City. We’ll GET THERE. (to Joey) We’ll find a Rattata LATER! (to Ross) This still isn’t an interview. You’re IN already! If I’ve answered your question, please LEAVE ME ALONE.

(Joey walks away)

Chris: … What do you two want?

Alice: I was going to ask about the road safety violations that-

Chris: -Boring. Go away.

(Alice turns and walks off. She knows better than to talk to Chris any further when he's clearly upset. Ross, however...)

Chris: Whatever your question is, can you just ask Bud?

Ross: He’s in the middle of a pummeling.

Chris: Is he the pummeler or the pummelee?

Ross: … Guess.

Axel: (offscreen) UNCLE UNCLE UNCLE!!

Ross: I was wondering where our first location would be and if you’d mark it on my map.

(Ross unwravels a LARGE travel map. He hands Chris a pencil. He holds it up for him)

Chris: (groans) Right here. Viridian City.

(Ross marks the spot and tucks his map away)

Ross: Thank you. I was wondering if it’d be okay if I slept outside.

Chris: We travel at night, so we’d be leaving you behind. (Chris laughs) Though it WOULD be funny to see you WALK to our location every morning.

Ross: That’s what I’m aiming for.

Chris: … Wait, what?

Ross: I’m training to be a Pokemon Ranger. Since nothing on this show can directly make that happen, I’m just hoping to get travel points by hiking to our location every morning. I’ll sleep outside.

Chris: … … … Dude, that’d be SO funny if you got lost and I’d do nothing but laugh if it gets you eliminated… but by all means, DO IT.

Ross: Thank you.

(Ross walks off with his camping supplies)

---> Chris: He actually did it. He slept on Route 5 as we drove all the way to Viridian City. … Does that count as having guts or is that just stupid?

---> Ross: I have the ability to track down animals and people with and without a map… But it’s much faster with one, sooooo I’ll be holding onto this rather tightly. (Ross tucks his map into his shirt. That thing isn’t going anywhere)


=== Route 5, Tall Grass === (North of Saffron City there's a tall upward hill that leads to another City. At the base is a mass of tall grass where the wild Pokemon lurk. There, a trainer is getting ready to trot on in)

(Joey runs into the tall grass screaming with metaphorical guns ablazing)


(Joey, with Bidoof by his side, starts poking around in the bushes. They’re literally poking the bushes with a play wooden sword)

Joey: Come on Rattata! Come out! We need to fight to be friends!

(Joey clonks something in the head. It flops out of the bush and lands on its side)


(It’s an ABRA. A small, dainty psychic cat Pokemon with its eyes closed. It just dully moans)

Joey: Awww… Back in you go.

Trixie: (offscreen) NO WAIT!!! I WANT THAT!!!

(Trixie runs onscreen and dives for the Abra, Pokeball in hand. Unfortunately, it teleports away. Trixie flies into a tree trunk and slams her face against it)

(WHAM. ... That hurt.)

Joey: (winces) Are you okay, lady!?

(Trixie stands up and rubs her nose. It’s definitely bleeding. She wobbles and regains her stance, putting a hand on the tree to gain balance)

Trixie: I… T-that was irrational of me. ... Uggh...

Joey: (nods) STAY HYDRATED!

Trixie: In all honesty... I don’t think either of us are coordinated enough to be out here right now. It's getting dark out.

(An Espurr approaches. It’s another psychic cat. It has WIDE eyes that stare into your soul. Espurr looks like it’s seen things. This Espurr belongs to Trixie. Trixie’s Espurr left her bag and come to her. Espurr notices Trixie’s bloody nose. It meows at her)

Trixie: (smiles) I’m fine, Espurr. I’ll go patch it up right now.

Joey: (holds up his Bidoof) Need to wipe?

Trixie: Ummmmmm I’m fine-ACK!!!

(Trixie falls forward after getting shoved. She topples on top of Joey and the two sprawl onto the ground. They gasp and look at whatever hit them. Espurr rushes to Trixie’s fallen side)

(The attacker was a Gloom)

(A bipedal, short and round plant with toxins and leafs sprouting fron its head. It headbutted Trixie in the back. It walks menacingly at its fallen prey. Bubbles of ooze start emitting from the top of its spore-riddled head. It groans with each step, something out of a nightmare)

Trixie: AUGH!!! Ugh… Es-spurr!! Use-


(Bidoof runs over to the Gloom only to get caught up in a cloud of toxins. The Bidoof freezes and begins shaking. It falls over, stiffly. Paralyzed)

Joey: Bidoof! NO! (starts crying) You were always a Rattata to me!

(Trixie looks at the Bidoof in bewilderment. The Gloom is towering over it. It licks its lips and inhales, getting ready for its final attack on Bidoof...)

Trixie and Joey: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

(The Gloom starts drooling onto the Bidoof… Anticlimactically. Joey just blinks)

Joey: … Is my Bidoof gonna dissolve or what?

??????: Is everything alright over here?

(Trixie and Joey look up. Molly, the Fairy Type motherly figure and Ludwig, the orderly Steel-Type scientist, rush over. Molly gasps in shock at the sight of Trixie’s nose. Ludwig helps Joey and Trixie up)

Trixie: Someone save that Bidoof!

(Molly grabs Trixie’s face and begins dabbing her nose with a handkerchief. She’s cleaning her off)

Ludwig: That’s a Gloom. They’re not meat eaters. Just have your Espurr use a psychic move. It’ll scram.

(Ludwig pulls out a Pokeball. He tosses it into the air. His own Pokemon emerges)

(Beldum is a robotic Pokemon that has a long body with a set of claws sticking out of the rear end. It has one large, red eye in the center of its nearly spherical head, which is set into a ball-and-socket joint at its front end. It’s shaped like a small floating telescope)

Ludwig: Beldum. Take Down.

(Beldum thrusts itself at the Gloom and knocks it aside. Gloom gets back on its feet. The Gloom droopily retreats, leaving a trail of drool behind it)

Trixie: Wow! A Beldum! Those are INCREDIBLY rare!

Molly: (finishing cleaning Trixie's nose off) How lovely!

Joey: (unimpressed) Not a Rattata.

(Ludwig brings Beldum back into its Pokeball)

Ludwig: It was a gift from my parents… Anyway, there’s nothing to worry about. Glooms devour Bugs. Their drool is actually a type of honey. When in danger, Gloom will release a foul stench. Judging by the awful smell right now, it was probably just frightened.

Trixie: It HEADBUTT me.

Ludwig: They’ve been known to be clumsy and trip. Bad eyesight. Sometimes the drawback of being a middle evolution.

(Ludwig kneels next to Bidoof with Joey. He proceeds to procure a Paralysis Heal. He sprays it on Bidoof. The creature slowly comes back to its senses and nuzzles its master, Joey)

Joey: BIDOOF!!! <3 (Joey puts him back in his Pokeball) Now back in the shorts. (Joey puts the ball in his pocket)

Molly: We should move out of the grass. It’s dangerous here. Come, children.

(Molly takes Joey’s hand and leads him out of the tall grass)

Joey: Awwwwww but I was gonna catch a Rattata!

Molly: You’ll catch a cold. Come. I have lollipops in my luggage.

Joey: Lollipops are a suspicious food but I'll eat it anyway!

(Trixie and Ludwig walk alongside each other as they leave the tall grass. They look back and notice a Bellsprout and a Combee following the trail of drool)

Trixie: … I feel so stupid…

Ludwig: First time battling?

Trixie: What? N-no. Of course not. No… It's my first time out in the field in a while, though… I’ve been so cooped up with my comic series that I… I don’t get out often. Espurr’s all I have. She’s not a fighter, she’s a…

(They look at Espurr. It just stares at the two with empty eyes)

Trixie: … A listener, really.

---> Trixie: Truth is… I’m so preoccupied by the comic series that I’m writing that I honestly haven’t been able to train or focus on my psychic abilities… … (sighs) I’m having a rough start.

Ludwig: Well, I’d just make sure to be more careful next time.

Trixie: How experienced are YOU in battling?

Ludwig: (walks away) We’ll find out tomorrow. Try and get some rest.

Trixie: … (sighs) … … …

(Trixie enters the girl’s trailer, passing off a smile to Ludwig as she enters the RV. Ludwig smiles back and steps inside)


=== Inside Girl’s Trailer === (Molly is currently putting a band-aid on Joey’s knee. Joey is hugging Molly’s Dedenne who is purring in his arms. Payton is reading in her bed while Amber is doing push ups with her Vulpix)

Joey: (staring at Payton and Amber) I’m behind enemy lines… I can feel the coodies getting to me.

Payton: (scoffs) Coodies hit me HARD when I was your age, pipsqueak.

(Trixie walks past to go to the bathroom. Payton notices her nose and how it’s still bleeding a little)

Payton: Woah, what happened to you? Mistake a beartrap for a scratch and sniff sticker, blondie?

Trixie: (snarks back) Har dee har har.

Payton: "Har dee har har?" (scoffs) Geez, the descriptors in your comic must be mind-blowing.

Trixie: You'd need a mind to get blown first.

(Payton scowls at Trixie and buries her head in her book, ending the conversation. Trixie goes to the bathroom to clean up)

---> Trixie: I don’t like to think of myself as a pushover. If someone’s being a bully, they’re gonna hear it. (Trixie smiles) 80% of good comics are just witty insults and smart comebacks. You learn to build up an arsenal after a while.


(Amber keeps talking to Joey and Molly as she does pushups. Her Vulpix has decided to take a nap instead)

Amber: So, Joey. Enjoying the game so far?

Joey: The game hasn’t started.

Payton: (not looking up from her book) Don’t sass her, Joey. She might go into a rampage and tear your little baby arms off.

Amber: (yells) SHUT. UP. PAYTON. (turns back to Joey) How’d you hurt yourself?

Molly: He got attacked by a Gloom in the tall grass. (Molly finishes patching Joey up) What’s the motto, dear?

Joey: … (mumbles) Don’t go in tall grass alone.

Molly: (pats Joey’s cheek) Now run along back to your trailer. It’s bedtime soon.

(Joey takes another lollipop and runs out of the trailer. Amber and Molly smiling at how adorable he is. Then they turn to each other)

Amber: Oh my sweet buttered-up Arceus. That kid is gonna get washed out of this game so badly.

Molly: (sighs) … I know it’s a game… but I don’t want to see him hurt. I think I’ll be keeping an eye on him.

Amber: (nods) For the best. I’ll help put a band aid on the lil sucker, but if we have to fight in the game, I’m tramplin and leavin no trace. (Amber stands up and walks back to her bunk)

(Amber’s words linger with Molly, as her concern for Joey only rises)

---> Joey: I can take care of myself. I don’t need an adult to watch me… (smiles) But if pretending I DO need one gets me free candy… then yup. I’m helpless. (proudly eats a lollipop)


=== Boy’s Trailer === (Ludwig enters and sees Axel is lying on his bed asleep and bruised from a Bud mauling. Bolin is already asleep in his bed too. Alan is sitting at the table with a book, smoking near an open window. Ludwig approaches him)

Ludwig: Excuse me, sir. Alan. Can you do that outside?

Alan: … (nods) My apologies.

(Alan closes his book and moves outside, with the guidance of his Murkrow, to finish his cigar)

Axel: (sits up, he's awakened) Did you just make him leave? …

Ludwig: Yes.

Axel: UGH!!! But I LIKE the smell of smoke. It helps me sleep.

Ludwig: Well, it’s his choice to smoke but it’s also his choice to give put all of us in danger of second hand-

Axel: -You’re a joykill. (Axel plops his face back onto his pillow)

(Ludwig’s eyes go wide and moves to his bed. Giggling can be heard from the bathroom. Ludwig ignores it, but Bolin sits up in order to investigate)


=== Boy’s Trailer Bathroom === (It’s a small, cramped bathroom with one toilet stall, a mirror and sink, and a lone urinal. Angie and Zane are currently crowded around the urinal, giggling)

Bolin: (walks in) My Pokemon can’t properly train tomorrow morning if their master isn’t well rested.

(Angie and Zane turn to Bolin. They step aside to let him see the urinal)

(In the urinal is a small picture frame with a picture of a Politoed making a VERY weird face. Around it are little paper clippings with typing on them. Small photos of the same Politoed doing obscure things are all over the urinal)

Bolin: … … That’s not how you use a urinal.

Angie: We know, but isn’t it funny!?

Bolin: … (tilts his head, deadpan and unamused) …

Zane: See… we made it a shrine! (giggles)

Bolin: … Why is that Politoed doing that?

Angie: Oh, that’s Pepe the Politoed. It’s a meme shrine. (shakes her hands) Ta da!

Bolin: … … What’s a meme?

Zane: It’s just something funny that a lot of people understand. It’s like the opposite of an inside joke!

Bolin: But I don’t understand… therefore is it NOT a meme?

Angie: Dude you are deconstructing memes right now and it is inspirational as heck sauce.

Bolin: … I don’t care… When I come to use this thing in the morning, I’m using it for its intended usage whether this “meme” is here or not.

Angie: Memes are meant to be desecrated on, so like go for it, guy.

(Bolin leaves with no indication of anything, really. He’s just stoic)

Angie: …

Zane: …

Angie: … Well I thought it was funny.

Zane: IT WAS!

(Angie and Zane execute a secret handshake they came up with together. It goes for a solid ten seconds before it ends on a fistbump)


=== Route 5, Outside Trailers === (Natalie is sitting on the steps to the girl’s side. She’s cradling her Caterpie in her arms. It cooes and wiggles. Natalie nearly tears up just from watching it go)

(Malika, the spunky punk Grass Type, walks over to her)

Malika: Heyo! What’s hangin? You see Trixie around? I heard she busted up her nose and I wanted to see if it reminded me of a raisin.

Natalie: Trixie's nose!? That’s terrible! Is she okay?

Malika: Word of Arceus says she’s fine. Molly made a huge thing out of it. Anyway, what’s gotcha camping out here?

Natalie: Oh, Caterpie just enjoys the night air. …

Malika: … Girl you lyyyyyyin.

Natalie: What?

Malika: You, like, hesitated. What’s up?

Natalie: … (dejectidly mumbles) Nobody wants me in the trailer if my Bug pokemon are out.

Malika: I’m more worried about Amber and Payton bringing the whole house down in a maelstrom of ice and fire. (winks) And those two wouldn’t even need Pokemon to do it.

Natalie: (chuckles) So why are YOU out and about?

Malika: I’m a Grass type trainer, man! I gotta enjoy the outdoors. Plus, Bounsweet can’t walk out alone. (holds up a Pokeball and gently shakes it) She’s a cutie, but a mess. I like to call her my little “cute-tastrophe”. She got that nickname after she walked onto a highway and caused a helicopter crash.

Natalie: Helicopters don't drive on highways.

Malika: It was a chain of events. Point is, my Pokemon is cute... (stares vacantly) and the world pays for it.

Natalie: (smiles, focusing on the topic of cuteness) I think any bug I catch could be considered one of those.

Malika: Bugs? Cute? I don’t know if I can get behind you on that one, bro.

(Natalie motions for Malika to come look at her Caterpie. Malika walks over and peers into Natalie's arms... Caterpie is sleeping, and gently curled up in a little ball. It daintily yawns and wiggles)

Malika: ….

(Malika starts freaking out)


(Natalie shushes Malika so she doesn’t wake it up)

Malika: Bounsweet would hate me for this, but… (Malika is beaming and hopping in place) Can I hold the bug???

(Natalie nods and hands Malika Caterpie. Malika sits down on the grass and rocks Caterpie back and forth. She is losing it right now over how cute it is)

Malika: OOoooooOOooohhhhhhhhh! (realizes she’s getting loud again) … Cuuuuuutiiiiiiiiiie.

(Natalie laughs lightly over the amusing sight of someone as punk gothic as Malika being reduced to such a fangirl)

---> Natalie: (wipes her forehead) Phew... That's ONE supporter!


(Alice is speaking to Grace. The two are leaning against the side of trailers. Grace is leaning, Alice is standing up straight)

Grace: So you KNOW the Gym Leader of your town personally? Like… she and you are pals?

Alice: Korrina is my best friend. The amount of time in her day she makes for me is phenomenal.

Grace: Wouldn’t she be, ya know, busy?

Alice: She’s not only a gym leader, but she’s a successor to the mega evolution keep as well.

Grace: MEGA Evolution. Now THAT is something I wish I could get a hold of. Could you imagine the kind of knockouts my Pokemon could deliver with one of those?

Alice: (nods) I do. I’m a geologist. My core studies are fossils and my guilty pleasure… mega evolution studies. I want to be able to discover and possibly manufacture mega stones for all species of Pokemon.

Grace: That’d be killer! I’m a bit of a craftswoman myself.

Alice: How so?

Grace: Aside from being a mechanic, I like to dabble in wherever a wrench is needed. I built my own Magnemite.

Alice: Oh WOW! To me, that’s the present day equivalent of fossil revival. The CREATION of Pokemon.

Grace: Heeeey we all know how that Mewtwo Project went down.

Alice: Would have been wonderful to see and get the results of. I digress, what I REALLY wanna know is how you can keep your hair suspended like that.

Grace: Nasty gas leak in the garage one day. Blew my hair straight up and it hasn’t come down since.

Alice: … … …

Grace: Pullin yer leg. It’s a secret. I CAN be ... persuaded, though. (Grace winks and nudges Alice)

(Alice blushes. She touches her own face and trips over her words)

Alice: A s-secret huh? (giggles) Oh we-

(Chris appears behind them and BLASTS a megaphone into their ears. Alice falls over from fright. Grace catches her fall)


(Grace walks over and grabs the megaphone from Chris. She tosses it far away. It bounces off the ground into the tall grass. Gloom starts drooling on it, it's heavy breathing amplified by the device. It's super uncomfortable)

Grace: (points to Chris) I don’t care if you eliminate me on the spot. I will take your teeth out next time you do that.

Chris: … I was gonna tell everyone that we’re leaving, so get in the trailers.

(Alice stands up and scurries away. Grace walks off. Chris flees to the truck)

---> Chris: So many people already want to hurt which means... I'm doing my job right!


(Alan is walking back to the trailer after having finished his smoke. He comes across Ross setting up a tent in the middle of Route 5. He doesn’t notice until his Murkrow starts cawing)

(The caw of the Murkrow causes Buizel to cry out and hug Ross’ leg)

Alan: A Buizel cry. (turns his head) Ross, is it?

Ross: Yup.

Alan: We’re heading back to the trailer. Care to join me?

Ross: Sorry, but to continue my training as a Pokemon Ranger, I’m gonna be hiking to each location every morning.

Alan: … That seems tedious and unneeded.

Ross: Well, every step helps. Plus, the exposure is good for Buizel.

Alan: You get plenty of exposure in that trailer as is.

Ross: Just because you CAN be exposed to something doesn't mean you should.

Alan: That speaks to me. Good luck to you.

Ross: Thanks. Good night.

(Alan walks back to the trailer, being guided by Murkrow. Ross crawls into his tent with Buizel. The two camp out)

(Alan enters the boy’s trailer as Grace and Alice enter the girl’s. Everyone’s inside. The truck revs up and begins moving. The trailers are pulled along with it. The cast if off to Viridian City, the first location of the first challenge... )


=== Host’s Truck === (Chris is in the passenger seat as Bud is driving the truck. The two hosts are on their way, and the cast is being towed behind them in the RVs)

Chris: So that’s that for our first episode! What a bunch of wahoos! Such an eclectic cast! But who will be the first to go? Find out when we return on.. BOKU NO HERO ACA-

Bud: -Wrong show.

Chris: ... Who are we?

(Bud shrugs)

Chris: ... We'll see you next time on REGION TROTTERS: KANTO CATASTROPHIES! The thrilling saga of creating a Pokemon League Champion. (Chris leans back, tired and worn out from all the intros today... )

(Bud floors it. The van and RV gets on the road. The cast is off. The adventure begins)






Chapter Text

REGION TROTTERS: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 2
Molly MacGrady -  Dedenne 
Zane Lute - #092 Gastly 
Alan Collins - #198 Murkrow 
Ross Marciano - #418 Buizel 
Malika Carter - #761 Bounsweet 
Amber McLeod - :vulpix: 
Trixie Masterson - #677 Espurr 
Payton Rothman - #215 Sneasel 
Grace Cirillo - #081 Magnemite  
Joey Young - #399 Bidoof 
Axel Kens - #023 Ekans 
Bolin Temirov - #396 Starly 
Angie Ross - #296 Makuhita 
Ludwig Von Malmar - #374 Beldum 
Ryuma Scifo - Sophie Sprite 
Natalie Harlow - #010 Caterpie 
Alice Kuroski - Tyrunt 
Matteo Rossi - 
 #027 Sandshrew 


Chris: Last time on Region Trotters, stuff happened! ... So anyway, our cast arrived and mingled. Trixie got a bloody nose, Ross is somewhere on Route 5, and the boy’s urinal is now a shrine to memes. … It’s only episode two. We’re currently parked in VIRIDIAN CITY nearby its fabled Viridian Forest. Our first challenge will begin and our contestants will strive to survive. Who will win? Who will lose? Probably Ross. I can’t believe that kid camped out on Route 5. Like, he’s never gonna be able to-

(Ross suddenly appears behind Chris with a map. He’s walking around until he notices the host. He nods and tucks the map away. He found them. He goes to eat with the others)

Chris: (notices the cameraman looking at something behind him) … … … (turns around) ROSS?! YOU ACTUALLY MADE IT!? We left you on Route 5! That’s all the way at Saffron!

Ross: (offscreen) I got up early and hiked.

Chris: Aw man, I made a bet with, like, five cameramen... (groans) See who else conquers the unknowable, here on… REGION TROTTERS. KANTO CATASTROPHES!


=== Viridian City, Inside Trainer House === (The cast is currently eating a healthy breakfast inside the city's Trainer house, a haven for travelers to get snacks from. There’s two long wooden tables inside for the contestants to eat at. Everyone is scattered about, taking food from a shabbily crafted buffet table in the corner)

(Malika, Natalie, Ryuma and Zane are sitting together. Malika is cooing over the cuteness that is Natalie’s Caterpie. Malika is holding it and rocking it to herself. Natalie is holding Malika’s Bounsweet)

Malika: D’AW! Look at this thing! Look AT IT!

(Caterpie squirms in Malika’s arms. Malika hyperventilates from cuteness overload)

Natalie: I’m it’s trainer. I get the privilege of looking at it everyday.

Malika: It’s sooooo cuuuuuute!!! (wiggles her finger in the Caterpie’s face) Caterpie guess what!? You’re a wittle wiggle worm! You’re a wittle ‘pillar poot! You’re a wittle squirmy squeak! EEEK!!!

Zane: Can I hold it next?

Malika: (holds up a hand) HECK no. We’re building a foundation for a friendship right now, bro! By the time I'm done aweing at this thing's cuteness, our bond will transcend TIME.

(Natalie is gently rocking Malika’s Bounsweet. It starts giggling loudly and waddling in place)

Natalie: Awwww! Malika, your Bounsweet is precious.

Malika: Oh! She’s so CUTE when she does that… But sometimes I can’t tell.

Natalie: Why?

Malika: Bounsweet don’t have the ability to scream… or run. So when they’re in a panic, they giggle the same way they do when they’re happy.

(Bounsweet giggles loudly. Natalie seems more wary now)

Natalie: Was that a happy giggle or a bloodcurdling giggle?

(Malika shrugs)

(Natalie looks a little disturbed. That’s… a very bad trait to have as a wild animal. Angie sits down next to Zane. She looks miffed)

Angie: Some cheap shot took all the cookies!

(She notices Malika and Caterpie. She awes at the Caterpie too)

Angie: Awwwwww. Look at that. Quality upvote material right there.

(Malika nuzzles the Caterpie. It starts spraying her in the face with string shot. Everyone just watches)


(SLAM. Everyone looks over. Amber just slammed her tray down on the counter. There's a MOUNTAIN of food on it)

Amber: (sits down) Hmph!

Ryuma: … So what do we win if we correctly guess why you're angry THIS time-

(Ryuma notices how full Amber’s plate is. Dang. She’s got a plethora of food on there. Beans. Greens. Potatoes. Tomatoes. Ham. Lamb. Hog. Chicken. Turkey. Duck. You name it. Food off the wazoo)

Amber: PFFT! I ain’t mad! I'm MOURNING... the loss of today's hunger. It's breakfast time.

(Amber starts DE-VOUR-ING her breakfast. She instantly establishes that she has an incredible appetite as she shovels the food into her mouth)


(Amber stops for a moment to take a swig of milk. She wipes off her mouth and exhales)

Amber: This milk is terrible! UGH! It's SOUR! What kind of Miltank did this come from?

Zane: Preferably a happy healthy one with three kids and a loving mate living on a farm where the sun's always shining... (pokes his food) and the marriage hasn't even started to crumble yet!

(Others inspect their milk. They don’t taste anything wrong)

Malika: (shrugs) Tastes fine to me.

Amber: I grew up on a farm. I KNOW my milk, and this is nasty! I'm a milk EXPERT! ... (looks around) Oh, y’all think I’m just bein picky? I’ll eat ANYTHING. (slams her fist on the table)

(Most instantly believe her, but Malika has a little fun)

Malika: (chuckles) Oh yeah. (Malika holds up a pinecone) Would you eat this-

(Amber grabs it and eats it with a look of pure determination. She proves her point. Malika just stares)

Ryuma: (poking his eggs with a fork) Okay, country girl, loosen up with the breakfast standards.

Malika: (under her breath) Stanards? Girl just ate a pinecone.

Amber: I’ll be glad to cook up a side dish of YOU, city boy.

Ryuma: (puts the fork down) See, it just sounds like you’re flirting again.


Ryuma: And I’m no “city boy”. I’m from Seafolk Village. Alola. I live in a rickedy old floating shack where I fish everyday. So I’ll judge my fish and you can judge your cows. Fair enough?

(Axel walks by)

Axel: (to Amber) I’m judging a cow right now.

(Amber stands up menacingly and raises her fists to Axel. He screeches and flees)

---> Axel: That joke sounded funnier and less offensive in my head. Says a lot about my head. … (long pause) But yeah. I deserve this.
(Axel opens the confessional door. Amber was waiting outside. She leaps in and tackles Axel. Mid-scream, the scene cuts away)

---> Amber: (holding Axel in a headlock. He’s struggling. His face is turning purple) I’m a big eater. Back home, I’ve won the annual pie-eating contest since I was four! My record is 20 pies in one sitting. I had to do CPR on the runner up... and I count that as 21 pies.

---> Axel: (weakly) E-EWWW!!!

---> Amber: Shut up. I’m constantly exercising, so all of what you see is PURE muscle. (Amber tightens her grip on Axel) Muscle that can be used to POP off lil wisecracker’s heads like dandelions, ya hear that, Frecklenator?
---> Axel: (voice high pitched) UNCLE UNCLE UNCLE!!!


(Molly is sitting with Joey and Alan. Joey is eating cookies. Molly notices the lack of greens on his plate)

Molly: Joey, dear, you should have a little more variety on your plate.

Joey: That’s okay! I’m not hungry. I’m saving most of them for later!

(Joey stands up and reveals that his shorts are absolutely stuffed with cookies. He took them all. Alan grumbles next to Molly, not paying attention to the two)

Molly: Oh dear. (to Alan) You know, when my Har-Bear back home always used to horde the sweets I had to learn little harmless mind games to teach him to eat healthy. Being a ... single mom will do that.

(Alan raises an eyebrow at the mention of “Har-Bear”)

Joey: (crosses his arms) My mind’s indestructible.

Molly: I wouldn’t doubt that for a moment- … (Molly points behind Joey) Oh my goodness gracious! Is that a Rattata? (points past Joey)

Joey: (turns around lightning fast) BE MY FRIEND!!!!

(Molly quickly takes the cookies off of Joey’s plate and fills it with eggs and bacon. She hides the cookies in her purse at an alarmingly quick speed. Joey turns around and looks at his plate. He blinks)

Joey: … … …

(Molly innocently smiles)

Alan: Molly. Mind if I ask who “Har-Bear” is?

Molly: Hm? (looks to Alan) He’s my son. It’s a cute little nickname.

Alan: (eating his eggs. He dabs his mouth with a napkin) Exactly how old are you?

Joey: (gasps) OOOOOH!!! You can’t ask a girl how old she is! That’s ruuuuuude! (points at Alan)

Alan: Not if I answer it too.

Molly: Hm. Oh… I’m… well... (she twirls her hair) Thirty six. (Molly blushes a little)

---> Molly: For every social event, I allow myself one lie... and it is always that I'm thirty six.

Molly: And, um… H-how old are YOU?

Alan: Thirty four and still counting.

(Molly laughs. It’s not a normal laugh though. It’s the kind of laugh a person does when they clearly like someone. The “what you said wasn’t that funny but i’ll pretend it was to make you feel better” laugh. … But considering she’s MOLLY, she probably found it genuinely funny)

(POINT IS Molly likes Alan and it’s obvious)

---> Molly: (is in a confessional with Joey) … He’s 34. I’m ...36. … It can work!
---> Joey: Yeah! My brother says thirty is the age where everything goes downhill, so you may as well forget being picky!
---> Molly: ...Do you believe that?
---> Joey: I believe nothing except that Rattata’s are the BEST Pokemon.


(Matteo is eating with Bolin and Ludwig. Ludwig is scribbling in his journal. Matteo and Bolin suddenly notice his behavior)

Ludwig: (mumbling as he scribbles in his journal) Three to four (mumble mumble) cross over six two (mumble mumble) fro yos equilibrium (mumble mumble) seven-

Bolin: -What are you doing?

Ludwig: (snaps his journal shut and tucks it away) Nothing. Just a little morning think tank to help myself really wake up on the inside.

Malika: (whispering from afar) Wake me up.


(Suddenly Ross walks in and sits down with a plate of food. Ross looks dirty, covered in grass stains, muddy legs and shorts, and twigs assorting his hat)

Matteo: Heeeeeey. Rosss. You actually made it.

(Everyone welcomes him back. Some are pretty shocked to see that he actually followed through)

Ross: Yeah. I had to get up pretty early, but it’s a worthwhile routine. Buizel got so strong, though. He fought a Meowth, a Pidgeotto, a Nidoran, starvation, a Diglett, and a semitruck. Speaking of which.

(Ross releases Buizel from its Pokeball next to him. It grabs his plate and begins devouring breakfast)

Ross: Save some for me, pal.

Bolin: (nods and speaks in deadpan) You train hard. I respect that.

Ludwig: How much sleep would you say your body takes on a daily basis, Ross? I’d imagine you’d be tired.

Ross: Let’s just say that 9 o'clock is my curfew. I’m perfectly fine. I have a map, my Pokemon, and a strong sense of direction.

Matteo: You’re trying to... what, be a professional tree?...

Ross: ... A Pokemon Ranger... but close. (reassuredly pats Matteo on the back)

Ludwig: How rigorous are the acceptances? Surely, you’ve met the qualifications by now.

Ross: I just need more experience. Hiking across the region live on T.V. is one way to do it. It shows I have guts.

Payton: (from across the room) Yeah, after eventually being mauled by an Ursarang I can only imagine.

Bolin: (ignoring Payton) Keep it up, Ross. Your pokemon will be strong in no time.

(Buizel finishes his meal and burps. It looks shy afterwards and curls up on Ross’ lap again. Ludwig chuckles, Matteo smirks, Bolin just has no expression)


(Trixie finds a seat next to Alice who is sitting across from Grace. The two seem to be in deep discussion. Trixie sits down)

Trixie: Oooh. Some girl talk? What’s the hot gossip?

Grace: PFFT! Gossiping is for girls.

Alice: (proudly) Discussing the thermonuclear resonation sternum in engine calibers is for women.

Trixie: … (awkwardly) Oh. I don’t do a lot of… mechanical work.

Alice: We know. You’re an artist.

Trixie: Well, comic artist at best.

(Grace leans forward on the table)

Grace: Wow. Artsy, huh? Did you come over here just to intimidate us with your big head of ideas? I'm not exactly... intimidated by big stuff.

(Grace once again is ambiguous on whether she's intending to flirt or not)

Trixie: N-no! Just mingling a bit.

Grace: Ever do anything on zombie apocalypse graphic novels? Or alternate rendition comics on historical bloodbaths, or steampunk?

Trixie: No.

Grace: Ew. What else is there? (Trixie, Alice and Grace laugh)

(STOMP STOMP. Everyone turns to look at the man who just entered the doorway)


(Chris walks in with an old asian man behind him. The man is wearing a labcoat, and has grey hair. He appears to be quite old, and eats a bowl of noodles carelessly as he’s introduced)

Chris: Everyone, this is Professor Oak. Say hi.

(Ludwig and Alice gasp the hardest. A few others are happy to see the world-famous Professor Oak too, but none show as much gratitude as our nerds do)

(Professor Oak steps forward and introduces himself. He places down the bowl of noodles. He smiles warmly at everyone)

Professor Oak: Hello everyone! I’m Professor Oak, the region professor who works in Pokedex entry categorization and general Pokemon research.

Ludwig: It’s a pleasure to meet you, professor!

(Alice takes it one step further and walks up to Professor Oak)

Alice: It’s an absolute honor to meet you! I myself wish to become a Pokemon professor. The first “professor champion”, to be frank.

Chris: (to Oak) That means she wants your job. Shun her.

(Alice makes a face at Chris)

Professor Oak: (smiles and shakes Alice’s hand) It’s a pleasure to meet you too, Alice.

Alice: (walks back to her seat) The chances of me washing this hand again are abysmal.

Chris: Professor Oak will be a reoccuring judge in this game. The way the game works is that you will compete against one another each episode in a challenge. At the end, three judges will decide whoever performed the worst and send them home. Quick and easy. Any questions before we move on to our first challenge?

(Joey raises his hand)


Joey: … (grumbles) I want a Rattata.

Chris: Our first challenge will take place at Route 2. If you would all follow me, please.

(Chris walks out. Professor Oak stops the majority of the cast)

Professor Oak: I’m sorry, but I just have to ask… (narrows his eyes) Are you all boys or girls?

Payton: (facepalms) Arceus.

Professor Oak: Hahaha. You're not Arceus, I'm not THAT blind.

Payton: Maybe I am.

(Payton is the first to shove her way past Professor Oak. The others follow, not paying him much mind. Alice and Ludwig giggle and fangirl as they pass them. Professor Oak pauses and thinks to himself... maybe he IS that blind)


=== Kanto, Route 2 === (The cast arrives to Route 2, which is just a typical grassy pathway leading to a towering forest ahead and some craggy rock formations to the right)

(The cast is walking towards the forest. Natalie is cheerful)

Natalie: I’m so excited for this challenge! What else is there on Route 2 but the entrance to Viridian Forest? It’s where I caught my Caterpie.

Bolin: It’s full of weak Pokemon. Mostly just hapless Bugs. They're probably in there sitting and talking about being weak, weakly... weekly.

Natalie: (barks at Bolin) Well the Bugs don’t want you there either!

Malika: If there was like, a Kanto-nian form of Caterpie that was GRASS type, I’d totally snag one.

Alice: Scientifically speaking, the Caterpie that we know of is technically its “Kanto-nian form”.

Amber: Vulpix here has an Alola Form. (Amber pets her Vulpix who is perched on her hat. It cooes) And as nifty and (mockingly rolls her “r”) rrrregal as everyone and their ma says that overrated sud weasel is… I think “Kanto-nian Vulpix” is still the best.

(Vulpix chirps in agreement)

---> Amber: Nothin makes me madder than people thinkin they’re fancy when they show off their Alola Vulpix. To that I say… (scoffs) Whatever. My Vulpix can still fry theirs to a crisp. Just for the sake of reminding them who’s ALWAYS been the best Vulpix.
(Vulpix barks from Amber’s lap)

Malika: Way back when, before people knew Alolan Ninetales was a Ninetales, they thought it was some kind of God!

Amber: Just because it looks like a heap of soap suds don’t mean its cleansin nothin.

Payton: Can it wipe off that smug smirk you have that shouldn't exist because of your lipless and uneven face?  ... (deadpan) Oh sorry, was that out loud?

(Amber and Payton just continue to grimace at one another as they walk)


(Chris stops everyone in front of Viridian Forest. It is a deep thicketed woods with a foreboding dark entrance just parting of the tree growth. Spores and cackles of Bug and Grass Pokemon emanate from within)

Chris: Route 2 is actually a lot bigger than it looks. One path leads straight into Viridian Forest while another leads to an entryway to Diglett’s Tunnel. Now, Diglett’s Tunnel, thanks to the ever growing Diglett Population-

Alice: -Which is under control. Natural born Dugtrio are merely triplets, but through evolution a Diglett fuses with two other Diglett as one entity. So it’s not the population that’s caused the expansion of the tunnel, it’s just routine activity for the Diglett.

Chris: … Alice, I have bad history with smart people…

Alice: …

Chris: Anyway-

Malika: -Oh! Chris! It’s actually Diglett’s “Cave”. Diglett’s “Tunnel” is in Alola.

Chris: (swinging his head back and forth) DO. I. LOOK. LIKE. I. CARE!?!?!!?

Malika: ….

Chris: … (back to his host self) Anyway, because of this expansion of Diglett’s Cave, there is now an entrance closer to the entrance of Viridian Forest. Your goal today is to make it to Pewter City.

Grace: Sounds easy enough. So what’s the bonus bit?

Chris: It’s not a “bonus” bit, because “bonus” implies that it’s optional. The clinger is that you have a little… obstacle to go through before you reach Pewter City.

Everyone: …

Chris: Aren’t you gonna ask what it is?

Amber: You have to tell us eventually so do we really need to ask?

Ryuma: If it’ll make this go faster then sure. Chris. What’s the clinger?

Chris: THANK YOU RYUMA. Butt kisser.

Ryuma: I’m not kissing butt, I’m just countering your stalling.

Chris: Butt kicker then. So! The clinger. You can either take DIGLETT’S CAVE or VIRIDIAN FOREST. It’s your choice as to whether you wanna travel to Pewter City through the woods or underground. Think hard about your type advantages and where they’ll play out. You wanna fare against Grass and Bug or Rock and Ground?

(Everyone nods, quickly deciding where they wanna go)

Chris: Now, it’d be too easy if I just sent you in there just to race to Pewter City. We’re not looking for the fastest runner. We’re looking for the fastest coordinator. THAT’S WHY… it’s your job to also capture and bring us ONE Pokemon-

Axel: -Awesome. Everyone come gang up on the Bug Types.

(Natalie turns around to say something at Axel)

Chris: -I’M NOT DONE… You have a specific Pokemon you all need to catch based on which path you take.

(Chris gestures to Viridian Forest)

Chris: In Viridian Forest, you must capture a Butterfree. It’s Caterpie’s final evolution, and it’s a bit of a tricky one. Be prepared for paralyization, poisoning, and pure tactic.

(Chris gestures to Diglett’s Cave)

Chris: In Diglett’s Cave, you must capture a Dugtrio. It’s Diglett’s second form, and a bit of a powerhouse. So you can choose to face Butterfree’s brains over Dugtrio’s brawn. Both have the same encounter rate.

(Chris calls out a few contestants)

Chris: Oh. Matteo. Natalie. Bolin. Butterfree is Flying and Bug. Dugtrio is Ground. You can’t keep them though.

(Matteo, Natalie and Bolin nod)

Bolin: I wouldn’t catch a weak bug anyway.

Natalie: Well what bug in their right mind would want to be owned by someone so close-minded?!?

Malika: Oooooooh!!!

Bolin: (deadpan) Any bug if it actually HAD a mind.


(Natalie glares at Bolin, getting tired of all of this)

Chris: First to arrive with a Butterfree or Dugtrio is the winner of today’s LEADER IMMUNITY, which I will explain more about once somebody actually acquires it.

(Everyone is captivated by the sound of “leader immunity”)

Chris: Remember everyone. You’ll need a team of Pokemon eventually. By the end of the game, I need you to have THREE Pokemon. Only three. So as we travel and go along on our adventure, feel free to try and catch anything. The only requirement is that it needs to be your type or evolve into something that's your type.

Matteo: I like... curly haired women.

Chris: ... N-not the "type" we're talking about, Matteo.

Matteo: Mmmm...

Chris: ANYWAY! (pulls out a Pokeball) … You all want a demonstration on how to catch a Pokemon!? I've been practicing the tutorial-

Everyone: -NO.

Chris: (puts the Pokeball away) I’m not legally allowed to own a Pokemon anyway. Now. Have you all decided which path you’ll be taking?

Everyone: Yes! / Uh huh / Let’s go already! / Yup. / Think so.

Chris: Well okay then… … … Trainers… Are you ready to start the competition?

Everyone: Yes! / Uh huh / Let’s go already! / Yup. / Think so.

Chris: The competition for one million dollars?

Everyone: Yes! / Uh huh / Let’s go already! / Yup. / Think so.


Ryuma: -I accept the terms and conditions! Let’s GO!!! (Everyone agrees)

Chris: (flat) Fine. Go.

(They all stay put, still in running position. Chris’s anticlimactic “go” confuses them)

Amber: … Like… was that the “go”? The "go" go?

Bud: (leaps out a bush) GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!





(This is it. The start of the grand POKE DRAMA adventure. They’re off. People to annoy. Places to loiter in. Landmarks to vandalize. The adventure has begun)

(Alice, Angie, Payton, Trixie, Alan, Matteo, Ross, Ryuma and Ludwig all rush into Diglett’s Cave)

(Grace, Amber, Molly, Natalie, Malika, Joey, Bolin, Axel and Zane all rush into Viridian Forest)

(Let the games begin)




=== Viridian Forest === (The inside is a massive enclosure of overgrowth. The trees along the borders of the forest grow more and more thick and close together. In the center, it’s plant riddled and maze-like. The canopy is covered and occasional beams of sunlight flicker through the trees above. Spores float about. There’s rustling everywhere, within the trees and especially the tall grass)

(Grace and Amber immediately run off without a second thought from anyone. Joey screams a victory howl and charges forth, pursued by a worrisome Molly)

Molly: Joey! Slow down, you’ll trip, dear! (reaches into her purse and runs after Joey holding a cookie) I have INCENTIVE!!! 

(Axel wanders off. Bolin releases his Starly and sends it above. The Starly flies into the trees, searching for Butterfree)

Bolin: If you find one, Starly, bring it to me.

(Bolin sits down on a log. Natalie walks over to him, hands on her hips)

Natalie: So you’re just gonna make your Pokemon do all the work?

Bolin: (stoic) Starly can cover ground faster. My Starly knows that wherever I release him that’s where I’ll stay. I’m sitting for his convenience.

Natalie: Oh… well… I don't have a quip for that then, that's actually pretty smart.

Bolin: (deadpan) I wasn’t concerned for your approval, but okay.

(Natalie frowns and looks to Malika and Zane. The two gesture for her to come with them. Natalie runs off with the two deeper into the forest)


(Once Natalie, Zane and Malika are a good distance from Bolin, they discuss strategy, and by strategy I mean Natalie talks and people listen)

Malika: So, what’s the plan?

Natalie: Well, being a bug type enthusiast in Viridian Forest catching a BUG type does have its perks. (Natalie reaches into her satchel and pulls out a jar of honey) Butterfree are naturally attracted to honey, and can smell it from seven miles away.

Zane: Is seven a random number or is that really how far they can smell?

Natalie: Honey to Butterfrees is like blood to Sharpedos.

Malika: Or suburban front doors to Mormons.

(Natalie pops open the jar of honey. She pulls a small butterknife from her satchel and smears it onto a tree nearby)

Natalie: Now we just wait.

(Malika, Zane and Natalie sit down and indeed wait for the honey to take its effect...)


(Grace is walking with Amber through the dark thicket. The Electric and Fire trainer)

Grace: Not gonna lie. I’m no fan of nature. Technology all the way. It’s something you can control, ya know. Nature is always doing its own thing.

(Amber and Natalie come across a large flower patch. It’s a grove within the deep forest. The two take their spots here)

Grace: Well, well. Check this place out.

Amber: No doubt a Butterfree would show up eventually. This is THE perfect spot. ...You can go now.

Grace: Yeah, so if we just wait out, one should- … Excuse me?

Amber: I didn’t stutter, city girl. Sorry. (waves her hand) Shoo. When Butterfree shows up, I’m not wastin time steamrollin ya to nab it. Think of it this way… I’m protectin ya... (turns dramatically) from myself.

Grace: Are you joking? You’re telling me to scram? I was leading us. If anything, this should me MY spot.

Amber: If we’re BOTH here, then the Butterfree’s gonna get overwhelmed.

Grace: Okay, good point; then go find your own spot.

Amber: Uh, NAH! I found it! It’s MINE.

Grace: Careful, Don’t wanna start a forest fire with that temper of yours.

Amber: (NOW Amber gets mad) I ain’t even MAD YET!!! THIS IS “MAD AMBER”!!! (She pushes Grace back) You think you’re witty!? You think you’re a big talker!? Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is!?

Grace: I haven’t even made a bet yet, but if I were to, it’d be that I’D win and YOU’D lose.

Amber: Well let’s battle then! You and me!

Grace: Good!

(Amber and Grace pull out their Pokemon. Amber sends out her Vulpix while Grace sends out her Magnemite. Magnemite blips and beeps before focusing on Vulpix, honing its strikes. Vulpix growls and gets low)

(A lone Caterpie wiggles out between the two in battle. It gets incinerated by Vulpix)


(The Vulpix and the Magnemite clash, both girls screaming as loud as they can... )

---> Grace: (covered in soot) Okay… so maybe I overlooked the type advantage she had against steel type… (coughs) Sometimes I act first and think later.




=== Diglett’s Cave === (The other half of the cast rushes into the cave. It goes straight underground. It’s a dark, gloomy, hollow cavern with twists and turns. Rock formations around every rock formation corner. Low rumblings occur every now and then, signaling the arrival of a Diglett. Dugtrio’s hidden further)

(Ludwig, Trixie, Alan, Matteo, Ryuma, Ross, Payton, Alice and Angie congregate in the first area)

(Ryuma runs off, not waiting to partner up)

Ryuma: Fiiiinallllyy!!!!! (disappears down the tunnel path)

(Everyone watches Ryuma run. He’s on his own)


(Trixie, Alan, Matte, Payton, Alice, Angie, Ludwig and Ross are left)

Trixie: (looks to her Espurr) Espurr, you have any idea where to look? Maybe you can sense the Dugtrio with your psychic abilities?

(The Espurr merely stares at her. Angie walks up to Trixie)

Angie: Hey, Trix For Kids. You’re psychic TOO, right? Maybe you can use, like, psychic telekinetic echolocation or something to find the Dugtrio. Signal boost an offensive Diglett joke and wait for the Dugtrio's to show up and hit you like a Mewtube comment section!

Matteo: Woah... what are psychic powers like?

Angie: Thinking... but HARDER.

Matteo: Woooaaaaah.

Alan: (approaches Trixie) A display of your abilities. This I’d like to see. (adjusts his sunglasses) Figuratively speaking.

Alice: I’ve never actually had any experience interacting with a psychic… so I too am curious.

Payton: You'd better do something impressive like juggle or make half of these idiots dissapear, I don't have all day.

(Ross, Payton, Alan, Matteo, Ludwig, Alice and Angie are all staring at Trixie, waiting for her to help them sense a Dugtrio)

---> Trixie: (banging her head against the confessional door) … So I told everyone that I was psychic… which is true… But I’m HORRIBLY under experienced. I can’t just throw myself under the bus in episode one. I’ll be gone before lunch.

Trixie: (starts sweating) Um… Y-yeah… I sense one…

Payton: Wow, helpful. Now where actually is it?

Trixie: … Um… T-THAT way.

(Trixie points in a completely random direction. As soon as she does, Ross and Payton run off. The two have fled. The others find groups to go in before they also run off. Trixie sighs in relief. Nobody questioned her... )


(Alice grabs Ludwig’s arm before he takes off elsewhere)

Alice: Ludwig. Fellow pursuer of science. (Smirks) Partner up?

Ludwig: Sure. Just give me a moment.

(Ludwig pulls out a small journal and flips through it. He takes a moment to speak quietly to himself as he scribbles and thinks)

Ludwig: So advantage wise (mumble mumble) stat carry the three (mumble mumble) four cosine diminuitive anti-feature (mumble mumble)

(Alice just looks at the camera for a moment)

Ludwig: … (closes the journal and turns to Alice) I believe our partnership would be unstable for a long-term alliance due to our mutual typing factors, both being a part of the “earthly material” groups. But considering we’re doing a challenge underground, it’d be in our best interests to team up for today. I accept.

Alice: … (understood all of that) Alright.

(Alice and Ludwig go to leave. Trixie stops them)

Trixie: Wait! Can I come?

(Ludwig pulls out his journal again. Alice immediately closes it, not risking any more time being wasted calculating)

Alice: (to Trixie) Sure! Just… be careful. You could get more than a bloody nose down here. And it’s an honor to have a PSYCHIC want to be on our team.

Trixie: Hehe… y-yeah.

(Trixie, Alice and Ludwig all walk off together, leaving Angie, Alan and Matteo)

---> Ludwig: I like to be prepared. You never know when you’ll say “yes” to an offer that seems beneficial, but actual entails brutal consequences. (opens his journal again and starts scribbling and mumbling)


(Angie and Matteo look at one another. They smugly smile)

Matteo: ... So ugh... ... Wanna be partners?

(Angie and Matteo high five. They walk off without Alan. He’s left alone)

Alan: … Ironically, I’M the only one with a source of light.

(Alan lights a cigar. He begins walking into the darkness)


(DEEPER in the cave, people have spread out to look for the Dugtrios)

(Payton is looking through a hole in the wall. It goes deep. She motions for her Sneasel to walk over. It looks in too)

Payton: I think it's wonderful that animals don't defaultly have the same sense of "home" as we humans do. Home isn't a fixed place, it's where you take it and where your family is, much like how a Dugtrio made this hole for theirs... ... ... Frost Breath the sh** out of it, Sneasel.

(Sneasel starts exhaling a chilly cold blast of air into the hole. Low rumblings occur)

?????: Won’t that make it go away from you?

(Payton turns around. Ryuma’s there. His Jangmo-o is smashing rocks behind him)

Payton: Don’t you think you’ll just annoy them by smashing rocks?

Ryuma: If I walked into your home and started smashing the walls, wouldn’t you come running? I’m hoping to invoke their wrath or something.

Payton: You’ll invoke more than one kind of wrath if you don’t leave me alone.

(The ground between the two starts to subtly shake. The two glare at the space and get ready to attack, seeing the dirt split)

(A Diglett pops up)

Diglett: Diggle wiggle zippidy doo-

(Jangmo-o headbutts it back into the earth. Both trainers disappointed that it wasn’t a Dugtrio)

Payton: Greaaaat. Your lesser-being-ness is summoning lesser-being-Dugtrios. I’m gonna go somewhere else.

(Payton and Sneasel wander off. Ryuma rolls his eyes at her and keeps searching)


(Angie is walking down the tunnel with Matteo)

Angie: So I had this idea that we could summon the Dugtrio with like, a fake ceremony! Like, start chanting Zygarde’s name in hopes that they’ll come out and join us in the honoring. Or like like if we find another person we can glue ourselves together and pretend we’re a Dugtrio! I wanna be the one with the LONG hair! But that’s the Alola form and I’ve never seen one in person, so if we dress up as one I’d REALLY want a selfie of that because I’ve been needing to get a new background for a while. It’s been a Ekans eating itself with the captions “finals” for the past three years and I gotta spice things up ya know, and-

(Matteo fidgets with his hearing aid)

Angie: ... Did you just turn your hearing aid off?

Matteo: ... (looks to Angie. She's not talking anymore) ... ... ... I agree!

Angie: I didn't think you were capable of being shady, Matteo. I'm so proud.

(They reach a dead end... but that doesn't stop Matteo. Matteo brings Sandshrew out of his Pokeball. He points at the closest wall)

Matteo: Sandshrew, do your thing.

(Sandshrew, with an evil grin on its face, curls into a ball and starts PLOWING into the wall, spinning rapidly creating a hole. It’s digging into the wall to go and hunt down a Dugtrio)

Matteo: (yells into the hole) And when you find one! Bring it here!

(Matteo turns to Angie. Angie’s gone)

Matteo: … … …

---> Angie: I was getting on his nerves. It happens. (giggles)

---> Matteo: (lazily) When people talk that fast, my hearing aid gets a little wonky… That or I’m just really bad at paying attention. (shrugs) ... I forgot which one my doctor told me... 




=== Viridian Forest === (In this area, Joey is poking his head out of tall grass, looking for a Butterfree… just kidding. He’s looking for a Rattata)

Joey: … RATTATA!!!

(A few Pidgey get startled and fly away. A Starley lands on a branch nearby. Joey looks at it. It’s BOLIN’S Starley)

Joey: … If you see a Rattata, come get me, okay birdie?

(Starley ruffles its own feathers and squawks at Joey. It flies away)

Joey: I’m a bird whisperer.

(Joey looks around and sees Molly walking after him. She’s looking around as if admiring the forest)

Joey: You’re back?

Molly: What I actually saw was a Noctowl. No Butterfree.

Joey: Ugh! No! I meant a Rattata!

Molly: No Rattata either. If I’m not mistaken, I don’t think they’re native to this forest.

Joey: It’s KANTO! They’re native everywhere! They gotta be here!

Molly: Well… (smiles) Why don’t we focus on catching a Butterfree so that when you DO find a Rattata you, can use its status effects to make it easier to catch.

Joey: Lady, Rattata is immune to EVERYTHING.

Molly: (giggles) Now that might be a bit of a stretch.

Joey: NUH UH. Let's go.

(Molly just smiles and follows after Joey who runs off again)


(Zane, Malika and Natalie are still camped out at the honey covered tree. So far, nothing’s happening. Zane suddenly squirms when his Pokeball shakes)

Zane: OOH! Gastly wants to play! That NEVER happens!

(Zane eagerly opens his Pokeball. The ball tremors and explodes open with a powerful force, leaking purple as a grey cloud shockwaves from the ball. A dramatic entrance)

(Malika and Natalie scream and hug one another as Zane’s Pokemon’s eyes jarringly open, yellowshot, from the haze. Gastly, the phantom ghost ball emerges)

Natalie: G-GH-GHOST!

Malika: Uuugghhhhh… Not a big fan of ghosts either…

Zane: Whaaaaaaat!? Ghosts are the cooolest and cutest Pokemon of all!

Malika: They’re literally known to haunt and kill people, dude.

Zane: Naw, they’re just the RESULT of killings. It’s cool.

Natalie: I heard there’s a candle one that steals people’s souls!

Zane: (laughs) Humans have plenty of soul to go around. Come on, lookit him! Isn’t he cute? Like Caterpie!?

(Gastly just floats by Zane, not making any moves. Malika and Natalie glance at one another)

---> Natalie: I firmly believe that every pokemon can be strong given the chance… That doesn’t mean I’m not afraid of those who can, at will, eat your life spirit. Have you READ the Pokedex!?

---> Professor Oak: I once found candy in a Shedinja's back, so I started putting freaky stuff in every ghost type's Pokedex entry so that there'd be more candy for ME! (senile laughter)

Zane: This is his favorite spot to be pet.

(Zane shoves his hand INTO THE GASEOUS CLOUD and just starts shaking his arm. The Gastly seems to enjoy it. It’s an odd sight)

Zane: And besiiiiiides… You should be more afraid of- (blinks) … BUTTERFREE!?!?

(The two gasp and turn around. Nothing there. There is a shadow though above them. They look up. A Butterfree is currently flying away)

Natalie: It’s getting away! … And… is it carrying something?

(Malika and Zane leer at the Butterfree. Malika gasps in shock)


(They all look again. It’s carrying away Malika’s Bounsweet. It’s cheerfully laughing and hilariously giggling)

Zane: Wow that is one happy kidnapping.

Malika: (grabs Zane and shakes him) BOUNSWEET DON’T KNOW HOW TO SCREAM! It’s trying to scream! We have to save it!

(Malika runs after the Butterfree)


Zane: Me too! Come on, Gastly! (Gastly floats after Zane. Natalie reaches out to them)

Natalie: Guys! (she looks at the honey’d tree then back at Zane who is running away) … (sighs)

(Natalie gives up on the tree and runs after her new friends to help them save Bounsweet)

(.... )

(Joey and Molly run around the corner and discover the honey tree)

Molly: Joey! Look. A tree covered in honey. This must be a sign. Butterfree adore honey.

Joey: And so do RATTATA! We’ll wait here for them!

(Joey and Molly take a seat on the logs that were previously occupied by Natalie, Zane and Malika)

(In the treetops above, a Starley was watching the whole thing. It flies off)


(There’s a large tree. Grace is tying rope around it. She has a self-built cage made of twigs. She raises it and has set up a crafted trap)

Grace: I don’t know who I wanna catch in a cage more. The Butterfree or Amber. Both belong in one.

(Grace chuckles. She then looks at her Pokeball and frowns)

Grace: Sorry you’re missing out on the first challenge, budster.

---> Grace: Amber knocked out my Pokemon. Sooo I’m on my own for the very first challenge. Fuuun. Luckily, I can drop kick anything in this forest that tries to hurt me, but as the game goes on, the enemies are just gonna get tougher. I can’t slip up like that again.




=== Diglett’s Cave === (The complex of tunnels underground. Ross is with his Buizel, who is nervously following after him. They come to a circular chamber)

Ross: Okay. Here’s the plan. You’re gonna dampen the ground around us, Buizel.

(The buizel chirps and tilts its head)

Ross: Oh, any Ranger in training knows this. Ground Type like to be close to the surface and sleep upright. They still wanna breathe, so they don’t go more than two layers deep. This is the perfect place for a Dugtrio to sleep. Rugged, malleable dirt, and judging from the markings around us, they’re right below.

(Ross’s Buizel nervously nods. It steps back and inhales deeply, sucking in as much water it can into its gut. It spews it around itself like a sprinkler. Ross nods as the ground starts to rumble)


(Alice, Ludwig and Trixie are all currently investigating holes in walls. Trixie is nearby Ludwig)

Alice: Surely they reuse the same holes. They gotta be close.

Trixie: (to Ludwig) You’re a scientist, right?

Ludwig: Yup.

Trixie: Do you believe in “psychic power”?

Ludwig: … We live in a world where housecats can breathe fire. I believe anything.

Trixie: I mean… could you explain the science behind… … HUMAN telekinesis?

Ludwig: Well, it’s certainly rare. Why do you ask? Aren’t you psychic yourself? (Ludwig chuckles) Most psychics don’t care to learn about science.

Trixie: Oh… (she rubs her arm) … I dunno… I guess I just…  … Can I trust you?

Ludwig: .. Um… (still looking in the holes)

---> Ludwig: I’m a conventional “nerd” who upholds many "nerd traditions". Such as… ratting out the jock who cheats on a math test because he made you do all his homework anyway, trying to invent a smaller version of the bolt cutter so we can escape from lockers, and being confused when pretty girls talks to us. I don’t know what Trixie’s up to… but if she wants to get stuff off her chest around me then I won’t stop her. I just won’t do the same.

Ludwig: … Sure.

Trixie: … I have psychic powers, yes, but they’re INCREDIBLY weak and I don’t know what to do… Maybe I don’t even HAVE them. It should be genetic.

Ludwig: But didn’t you say-

Trixie: -Forget what I said.

Ludwig: Well, neuro-genetics are some of the most transferable, but most of the time, inheritance within the brain begins with you. So… it may be something you just have to unlock later. Psychics are a whole different topic of study.

Trixie: I can only imagine.

Ludwig: When you figure this all out, lemme know so I can get some free MRI scans.

(Trixie seems a little weirded out)

Ludwig: … Would you feel better if I said that was a joke?

Trixie: Haha?

Ludwig: I take it your comic book isn’t a comedy then?

Trixie: …

Ludwig: That one was meant to be a joke.

Trixie: S-sorry. I’m just… I am bombing pretty much everything right now.

Ludwig: It’s a game. You’ll be fine once you settle in. (Ludwig pulls out his journal) Have you considered meticulously calculating each and every one of your potential options in this game as they individually present themselves?

??????: BEEP BEEP!!!!!!!

(Alice, Ludwig and Trixie all turn around. They see a dustcloud ZOOMING past them. Attached to the zooming object is a JANGMO-O biting on top of it. The others look and see Ryuma is hot on its tail. He’s chasing this sucker. That’s HIS Jangmo-o)


(They watch as Ryuma disappears into the cave)

Trixie: I wasn’t aware Ryuma could even say the word “slow”. (Ludwig chuckles)

Alice: LUDWIG! Trixie! Look what I found!

(Trixie and Ludwig run over to Alice. She is dusting off something on the wall. She grins at her discovery)

(Alice shows a weirdly shaped rock. It has grooves and edges… it’s a FOSSIL)

Alice: Look at that! Look at the shape! Help me chip it out! Don’t break it! That’s a CLAW fossil! You can tell because it looks like a prehistoric carrot.

(Alice, Trixie and Ludwig start slowly chipping the fossil out)

---> Ludwig: I didn’t want to waste valuable time chipping out a fossil… but Alice’s experience in the underground is substantial for our chances. I did it to preserve her cooperation… (long pause) … AND because we’re friends and it’s generally the nice thing to do.




=== Viridian Forest === (Axel has cornered a Caterpie. He holds it up in the air. The Ekans at his feet is wiggling with glee at its capture)

Axel: Okay. Let’s not dilly around.

(Axel waves the Caterpie)


(Axel looks to Ekans)

Axel: I won’t actually make you eat it.

(Too bad the Caterpie didn’t hear that. It just wiggles harder in Axel’s grip and cries out for help)

Axel: (Axel yells upwards again) MY SNAKE WILL DEVOUR IT WHOLE!!!

(Suddenly there’s a rustle in the trees. Axel turns and grins. He points)


(Ekans wiggles into the bush and comes out seconds later with a Metapod wrapped by its body. Metapod is a stiff, cocoon Pokemon. The evolution of Caterpie. The Metapod just dourly blinks)

Axel: What are you supposed to be? A diversion?

(THAT EXACTLY THO. A swarm of Butterfree gets a solid sneak attack on Axel and TACKLES him from above. Axel screams)




=== Kanto, Route 2 === (Chris is standing outside of Viridian Forest)

(Bud and Chris are watching the entire thing unfold on TV screens in front of them. They're sitting in the trailers watching the events unfold. Axel's ambush, Grace's trap, Alice's discovery, Trixie's dilemma, etc)

Chris: I think we picked a good cast. They're all well rounded, good people, and deserving candidates for championship. We're doing Kanto proud.

Bud: You're doing Kanto a good d*** dissapointment, that's what. You picked these kids for their clashing personalities, outrageous egos and all in the name of potential drama and we both know it.

Chris: You and I knew it, now EVERYONE does. Geez, Bud.

Bud: I never said I was mad about it. (Bud eats popcorn)

Chris: (shakes his head) We'd better get some good money off of our commercial sponsors.

Bud: We don't have commercials. Just "To Be Continued"s.

Chris: What?



Chapter Text


CHALLENGE - Explore Viridian Forest and/or Diglett’s Cave to capture a Butterfree/Dugtrio. Then bring it to Route 2 nearest to Pewter City.

VIRIDIAN FOREST - Amber, Grace, Malika, Zane, Natalie, Molly, Joey, Bolin, Axel
DIGLETT’S CAVE - Matteo, Angie, Payton, Ryuma, Alice, Trixie, Ludwig, Ross, Alan


=== Viridian Forest === (In a grotto area with a large flower bed underneath the roof of the treetops, Amber and Grace just had a battle and Amber was the victor. She is waiting for a Butterfree to show. All around her are Caterpie, Pidgey, a freaking Carnivine and Metapod that have been knocked out by her Vulpix. It licks its paw by Amber’s side)

Amber: Uggghhh. WHERE is that Butterfree?! If it was "FREE" it'd been here by now! It should be renamed to "Butterexpensive" ... (grumbles) Butter ain't spose'd to be expensive. ... Butterfree, more like OverpricedMargarineFree.

(Amber kicks a rock in boredom)

Amber: UGH. The look on city girl’s face after gettin romp’d can only kill so much boredom.

(A giggle echoes overhead. Amber looks around)

Amber: I hate when the trees laugh at me when I talk to ma self.

(Amber looks up and her prayers are answered. A Butterfree literally flies overhead. It’s holding a Bounsweet, Malika's Bounsweet. It's giggling, which means it's screaming in terror)


Natalie: -WAIT!!!

(Natalie, Malika and Zane run into the area)

Amber: H-Hey! Back off! I saw the margarine first-I mean BUTTERFREE! BACK OFF!-

Natalie: THAT'S FINE, JUST DON’T HURT IT! It's holding a-

Amber: -Don’t hurt it!? That’s the game, Princess Picket. (turns to her Vulpix) Vulpix. EMBER-


(Malika tackles Amber’s Vulpix. The Ember misses completely and hits a Weedle that's been working up the courage for the past eight years to finally come out of its hole)

Natalie: Oh dear! … Um.. (Natalie has her Caterpie out) … Caterpie! S-string shot!

(The Caterpie shoots string in the air that goes no farther than a foot. It falls back down onto its face)

---> Natalie: Ideally, I’d like this game to end with Caterpie taking the champion title with me so that everyone can eat their words and admit that Bug Type are just as good as every other type… I'm going to accomplish that the same way recovering alcoholics accomplish life in general; one step at a time.

(The Butterfree notices the commotion down below. It gets annoyed and starts flapping its wings harder in place. Purple dust rains down)


Amber: (yelling at Malika) GET OFF MA VULPIX, YA HOOLIGAN! You're not even wrestlin her right!

(Malika is grabbed by Amber. Zane and Natalie take cover, but Amber and Malika get hit by the Butterfree's Poison Powder. The two stare in realization before falling over and turnin green in the face and start moaning. Vulpix has been hit as well)

(Natalie and Zane rush back out. The coast is clear)

Zane: We need to get that Butterfree to drop Bounsweet! (Zane yells) GASTLY, SCARY FACE!

(Gastly emerges from behind Zane. The smokey ball floats up to Butterfree and blocks it from flying away. Gastly turns around and abruptly faces Butterfree... doing kissy lips and squinty eyes... Nothing happens)

Natalie: That’s not “Scary Face”.

Zane: Scary cute, though, right?

Natalie: ZANE!

Zane: Right. Right. REAL Scary Face, Gastly!

(Gastly closes its eyes for a second before proceeding to open its entire face, creating the illusion that its ghostly skin is peeling off)

(This Butterfree is bamboozled with plentiful spook. It drops the Bounsweet. The little plant soars downward, continuing to giggle merrily, which is Bounsweet for “CALL 911!!!”)

Zane: (gets a running start) HUT HUT HIKE!!!

(Zane dives in the air heroically. He soars over Malika and Amber who are poisoned on the ground. They stare with bloodshot eyes)

---> Amber: (staring with admiration) Wow, I used to hate watchin football... (psyche) Now I hate it even more.


(Zane catches the Bounsweet mid air and SLAMS his back into a tree, upside down. The tree shakes a sputters. A few Pokemon tumble downward, since the tree was practically headbutted)

(Natalie runs over and pulls out her herbal medicines from her bag. She proceeds to heal Amber, Malika and Amber’s Vulpix with an Anditote spray)

Natalie: Are you all okay? 

(Amber tosses a Spinarak, a Seedot and an HootHoot off of her. They all fell from the tree. More of them are sprawled around them since Zane hit the trunk)

Amber: UGH! (shouts at Natalie aggressively) THANK YOU!!!

(Natalie falls over in fear from Amber’s intense “thank you” that didn’t sound gratuitous at all, and more so threatening)

Amber: Be lucky I don’t got the time to punch y’all now!

(Amber pulls out a Pokeball and looks to the Butterfree above. They all do)


(Before Zane, Amber, Malika and Natalie's eyes... the Butterfree that gave all of them a hard time is suddenly captured overhead of them. … A pokeball zoomed from the treetops and hit the Butterfree, capturing it instantly)

Amber: … WHAT!?

Malika: Huh!?

Natalie: I’ve got it!

(Natalie catches the ball as it falls to the ground. She smiles widely)

Natalie: Now question is, who threw that Pokeball?

Amber: (grumbling) Better not have been those judgmental laughin trees. Mmmhmm. Nope. Better not have been.

(With no warning, a Starley swoops down and attacks Natalie’s unprotected Caterpie, who is still struggling with its String Shot. Natalie gasps loudly and drops the Pokeball containing the Butterfree. She rushes over to Caterpie to ward off the Starly)

Natalie: HEY! Cut that out! Go eat a different Caterpie! (Starly flies off. Natalie looks to Caterpie) Sorry you had to hear that.

(THUMP. A boy came down from the trees. He rushes over and sweeps up the Pokeball that Natalie dropped. ...

(It’s BOLIN. Bolin has the Butterfree. Starley, having belonged to Boline, flies back to its master's arm)

Amber: HEY!

Natalie: (yells) That’s OUR Butterfree.

Bolin: You all would have had to fight each other over it anyway. (Tucks the ball away in his pack) Now you don’t have to.

Natalie: That’s not fair!

Bolin: (dourly) If you lack the ability to win in your own environment, “fairness” may not be the issue, Bug Type.

(Bolin doesn't pay any mind to anybody else. He runs off with the Butterfree. He’s completed the challenge)

Natalie: Hey! Come back!

(Amber runs in a fury after Bolin, not giving up so easily)


(Amber has left. Natalie, Malika and Zane remain in the clearing...)


(A lot of events have unfolded for the three. Bolin has left with the Butterfree. Malika walks over to Zane. He’s crouched underneath the tree positioned upright now, holding the Bounsweet. Malika gets on one knee and hugs him)

Malika: THANK you Zane! You saved Bounsweet!

Zane: Malika, I think the world of everything… But I think you and Natalie should get a stronger team-

(BONK. Zane makes a goofy face as a SHROOMISH bounces off his head. Zane falls over. Malika gasps. Shroomish is a small grumpy mushroom Pokemon with tiny little nub legs)

Malika: Okay, first of all, are you okay, Zane? Second, (Malika turns to the Shroomish) LOOKIT THIS CUTIE!!! AUGH!!! CHECK EM OUT! YOU’RE A SHROOMY BOOP!!!

(Malika picks up the Shroomish before it can scurry away. She hugs the Bounsweet too. Malika cooes over both of them)

Malika: Zane! Wake up so you can reassure us that you’re fine… and to adore this Pokemon with me.

(Zane groggily wakes up. He sees Malika cuddling the Shroomish)

Zane: WOW! Look at that! What a cute schnoot!

Malika: Awwwwww!!! Look how grumpy he is!

(The Shroomish angrily tries to wiggle out of Malika’s embrace. No success)

Zane: Say, are we forgetting something?

Malika: ...Pet names?

Zane: …

Malika and Zane: ...NATALIE!!!

(The two look over at Natalie. She’s crouched over her Caterpie who got attacked by Bolin’s Starley. She’s healing it with everything she’s got. The two approach her)

Malika: Is everything okay?

(Natalie looks up at the two. She nods)

---> Natalie: Bolin… You may not have made a strong enemy today… but you definitely made one regardless.

Natalie: Yeah. Caterpie is just a little winded today. Let’s retrace our steps and go back to the honey tree-

(Zane and Malika are staring behind Natalie. Natalie looks confused until she turns around and sees Caterpie glowing)

Natalie: Oh my goodness!

(The Caterpie is lifted into the air. Its glow strengthens, and dissipates all at once, leaving its secondary form behind)

(*Evolution music* Caterpie’s transformation… dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun… Caterpie has evolved)

(Descending before Natalie is an entirely new Pokemon. Metapod. Caterpie’s evolved)

Malika: WOAH! IT EVOLVED! … (pause) … That thing’s not cute anymore.

Zane: I bet it has a great personality though!

Natalie: (stands up) Well… that’s one good thing that came out of today’s mess. (smiles) First evolution of the season! Cater-... METAPOD. I’m so proud!

(The Metapod lifelessly sits stagnant. Natalie picks it up)

Natalie: And you know… there are other titles to take too… Such as the first CAPTURE of the season.

Malika: What do you mean?

(Natalie nods at the Shroomish in Malika’s arms)

Malika: … (looks at Shroomish) … Oh my GOSH! … I can KEEP YOU! THAT’S RIGHT!!!

(Shroomish’s eyes go wide. He wiggles in protest. This girl is too cheerful for him. Malika looks at the Shroomish in her arms. The Shroomish doesn’t look pleased. The last thing the Shroomish sees is a Pokeball being booped against its face and then all red)




=== Diglett’s Cave === (Alice, Ludwig and Trixie are taking a fossil out of the wall instead of looking for a Dugtrio like they're supposed to. Good job, guys... It starts to budge at least)

(Alice, Ludwig and Trixie yank on the fossil together)

Alice: It’s moving out! Here we go!

(FWOOMP! The fossil flies out. It lands on Trixie who clutches it to her chest. Alice sighs in relief before a large rumbling occurs behind them. Alice looks at where she pulled the fossil from. A tunnel was behind it... )

(.... RUMBLE... RUMBLE... RUMBLE... )

(Suddenly, SWARMS of Diglett emerge from the hole, overwhelming Ludwig, Trixie and Alice. The three scream and duck for cover and stay against the walls. Eventually, ... five Dugtrio come out as well)

Alice: We opened a Diglett Den! Quick! Catch the Dugtrios!!! Trap them!

(Ludwig, Trixie and Alice stand around a group of Diglett containing three Dugtrio. They summon their Pokemon. Espurr, Beldum and Tyrunt)

Alice: (gasps) W-WOAH! A BELDUM?! WOW! You have a BELDUM!? Those are-

Ludwig: Admire later! Capture now!

Alice: Right!

(The three move in on the Dugtrio for capture. Alice’s Tyrunt blocks the way for many of the Dugtrio. They all simultaneously gulp, which is hilarious since that’s three gulps per Dugtrio. Tyrunt lunges at them)

---> Alice: (cradling her Claw Fossil) I don't take anything for granted, that way I don't find myself complaining about anything in life, because merely the thought and reality of living in a world with an ever-expanding community of infinite scientific breakthroughs that I could, in no way, keep track of entirely is more than enough to get me up each morning with a smile. ... But I especially wouldn't complain if EVERY challenge took place underground. (Alice rocks her fossil like a baby) 


(Matteo is leaning against the hole in the wall that his Sandshrew created. Sounds of a pummeling occur within the wall. A Dugtrio is quickly tossed out. His Sandshrew emerges and punches its fists together)

Matteo: (looks at Sandshrew) Nice job, little dude... (blinks at Sanshrew that is staring almost evilly at its own trainer and the Dugtrio on the ground) ... The Dugtrio's for the challenge, man.

(Sandshrew grabs at Dugtrio, as if to say "gimme")

Matteo: I'll use the prize money to buy you like... a huge stress toy. 

(Sandshrew just hisses)

Matteo: (looms over the Dugtrio) Sorry, pal.

(Dugtrio captured)

---> Matteo: Every stress toy I've ever gotten for Sandshrew, he's eaten or uh... just kinda destroyed, I guess. If I win, I'll be rich... Rich people have the coolest stress toys, like pools... and tennis courts... and positions in congress... (smiles) yeeaaaaah.


(Meanwhile, Alan is at the edge of a dark cavern. He holds up his cigar and tosses it into the cave, briefly illuminating it. Murkrow caws, indicating that it saw a possibly Dugtrio living inside)

Alan: Good work, Murkrow. Lead me to it.

(The Murkow flies into the cave, leading Alan inside. Due to his blindness, Murkrow has to guide him... but it's a dark cave, so Murkrow SLAMS into a wall)

Alan: ... (having merely heard a THUMP and SQUACK) ... You good, Murkrow?

(Murkow weakly caws from the ground)




=== Viridian Forest === (Deep in the woods of Viridian Forest, Grace is waiting near her trap to catch a Butterfree. It's a net trap... Luckily for her, she hears the trap go off. She runs over and sees a hilarious sight)

Grace: … This is almost better.

(Axel is inside of her trap. She caught him)

Axel: (oddly calm) You should probably let me down… They’re coming.

Grace: (shrugs) Nothing I can’t handle… (raises an eyebrow) Depending on what’s coming.

(A swarm of pissed off Butterfree arrive to assault Axel for earlier threatening a Caterpie. Grace screams, throwing a punch out of panic. She knocks out a Butterfree)

Grace: Magnemite!

(Magnemite is still knocked out too from Amber's battle)

Grace: Karma is bad at being karma right now.

(The Butterfree storm overtakes the two. Grace and Axel scream)




=== Kanto, Route 2 === (Chris and Bud are waiting outside of Viridian Forest and Diglett’s Cave. They’re on the side closest to Pewter City, which stands off in the distance. Chris checks his watch. ... Suddenly, a couple of contestants arrive)

Chris: OH! Here they are! First here is BOLIN!

(Bolin runs with his Starley. He hands Chris the Pokeball. Chris opens it up. A Butterfree flies loose. It has a bewildered expression from having been scarred by Gastly. It flutters away weakly)

Chris: Congratulations, Bolin. You’re done! You’ve won LEADER IMMUNITY!

(Ryuma runs over next. Behind him is Payton, Molly and Joey. The three hand over their Pokeballs. Chris releases them. One Dugtrio with a bite mark on its head and two Butterfree absolutely COVERED in honey)

Chris: These pass. You’re all through!

(Molly and Joey celebrate. She gives Joey a high five as he jumps up and down. Ryuma however appears impatient)

Ryuma: So? First?

Chris: Bolin arrived first.

Ryuma: WHAT!? (scowls) … Crud.

(Ryuma’s shoulder is pat by Matteo, who arrives with a Pokeball)

Matteo: You’ll get it next time, dude.

---> Ryuma: (proudly) I may not be first… but I’m not one of those competitive nutcases who loses it over silver. I’m okay with second… But … Second doesn't get to be champion. So that'll definitely change.

(Matteo hands over his Pokeball. A Dugtrio with multiple bruises and injuries weakly wiggles into the dirt. Chris looks a little concerned)

Chris: Dude, is your Sandshrew chill?

Matteo: (bored stare) Nah, he's Ground, not Ice.

(Chris looks at the camera, then back at the badly damaged Dugtrio that's burrowed away and escaped)

Chris: I probably should have taken these all to Pokemon Centers before releasing them… That’ll invoke some angry emails.

??????: Catch!

(A Pokeball WHAPS Chris in the face. Tossed by Ross. A Dugtrio is released, and it’s perfectly fine. A little damp is all)

Chris: (rubbing his nose) OOWWWWWW!!!

(Ross walks over and puts his hand on his mouth)

Ross: Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! Please don’t put that on my permanent record!

(Chris continues to cry a little, massaging his barely bruised nose. At the very least, the Dugtrio isn’t badly harmed like the others are. All in all, more people care about the Dugtrio than Chris)

(Ross tiptoes away. Chris doesn't even register that Ross threw it. Ross gets Bud to verify that he completed the challenge)

Ross: Will he be alright?

Bud: What's more important is that the rest of the world is alright. So throw it hard enough to kill him next time, ok?

(Ross backs away slowly)

---> Ross: Our hosts have a weird dynamic with one another.

---> Chris: Bud and I like to joke around. We have SO many inside jokes. I know through and through that Bud is my buddy and will always have my back.

---> Bud: I wouldn't sell Chris to Satan for a single cheese cube.... I'd PAY Satan to take him AND the cheese cube. I'm lactose intolerant.




=== Diglett’s Cave === (Alice, Trixie and Ludwig are walking their way outside the cave. They have their Pokeballs and their Dugtrios inside. Alice is holding the fossil)

Alice: Ohhh. Look. Look. Look at this! (Alice points at a piece of the fossil) Cambrien Era. Look at the rib structure.

Trixie: It looks like a prehistoric carrot.

Ludwig: You know, as a Steel Type enthusiast I SHOULD have some interest in fossils, but I’ve never looked into them before.

Alice: You should! Us fossil enthusiests love having a growing community... until we all inevitably start fighting over the depleting numbers of rare fossils. (shakes her head) I wouldn't want to hurt you, Ludwig. Luckily that won't be for milleniums. If we cryofreeze ourselves, we can fist fight over an Old Amber some time in the early 4000s. I'll warn you, I will lose a fist fight, but my dignity will be staggering.

Trixie: What’s an Old Amber?

Ludwig: An object with enough value to warrant a multi-millenium premature threat of violence from Alice, I guess.

Alice: (chuckling) Guilty as charged. (answers Trixie) Well, an Old Amber is technically not a fossil. Resurrecting one of those will give you an Aerodactyl. The pterodactyl Pokemon.

Trixie: Wow! That’s so cool… (Trixie contemplates) ... I’m should make a new villain in my upcoming issue about that. OOH! (She has a burst of inspiration) A dinosaur that’s resurrected from a sap of syrup, just like the Old Amber. The monster would be called… Pangeacake. Or Pancakegea. I’m torn already.

(Alice snorts and starts laughing hard at that. She finds that delightful)

Alice: D-Did you come up with that just now-



(What just happened? Alice was PUNCHED far back. A mysterious attacker landed in front of her and hit the fossil she was holding. It cracks upon impact. Alice gasps and hits a wall. Her Tyrunt rushes to her aid)

(Tyrunt is helping Alice, who had the wind knocked out of her)

(Trixie and Ludwig bring out their Pokemon. Beldum and Espurr)


Trixie: Espurr, Psywave!

(Espurr closes its eyes and allows a shockwave of psychic enermy to emit. Beldum puts up a protective barrier. The attacker gets HEAVILY hit by the psywave and sprawls back, instantly defeated)

(It was a Makuhita, and the type advantage did a number)

Trixie: A Makuhita? Wait a minute. Didn’t Angie have a-

(Angie leaps down from a far above ledge)


(Angie notices that the victims of her attack were PEOPLE, not Pokemon)

Angie: Oh gosh. You guys grouped together, I thought you were a Dugtrio… (Angie bears some comedic frustration) That was MY idea!

(Angie looks over at Tyrunt helping up Alice)

Angie: Oh my gosh!!! Did I hurt someone!? YIKES! I’m so sorry! Here, let me-

(Angie runs to help. WHAP. She slams face first into Beldum’s Light Screen. She flops next to Makuhita)

Trixie: (helps Angie up) You could’ve hurt Alice, Angie.

Angie: Is she okay!? I’m so sorry!

(Alice walks over. She’s holding the Claw Fossil. It has a chip in it and a large crack running down its side)

Alice: Oh NO! It’s cracked! … (Alice sighs) … Millions of years in stone and this is what it’s come to…

Angie: Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry! Is it gonna be okay? I didn’t mean to-

Ludwig: It’s fine. We’ve just gotta leave. We’re bringing our Dugtrios to Chris.

Angie: But will the Pokemon be fine? How about you, Alice? You okay? Please be okay!

Alice: I’m fine. Thanks for your concerns, Angie. Just… be more careful.

(Alice, Trixie and Ludwig walk off. Angie still looks incredibly burdened over hurting Alice and the fossil)

Angie: It’s okay if it’s cracked, right!? … It’s okay? … Is it? … … Will it come out with a nice personality at least?!

(Angie sighs and walks deeper into the cave when the others are out of earshot)

---> Angie: I feel REALLY bad about that! I damaged a fossil! ... Oh Arceus, am I the first person to ATTACK someone without warning in this season? … Gosh, I don’t want that milestone! I figured it would be Amber or Bolin... or honestly, me at breakfast when I find who keeps taking all the cinnamon rolls. I hope it's not Joey. I don't want to have to punch a child.

(Angie walks through the cave. She walks past Payton, who is currently making her way out)

Payton: I’m starting to understand your humor now. You’re such a disappointment that it IS funny.

(Angie is carrying her Makuhita, who is smiling as she talks to it)

Angie:  Don’t listen to them Makuhita. We don’t have time for a sneaky, sharp clawed, stone cold ball of bitterness… and her pet Sneasel.

(Sneasel and Payton look at one another before scoffing and leaving)

---> Payton: (deadpan) I'm an infectious person. My presence alone is enough to make everyone in the room be their most authentic petty selves.




=== Kanto, Route 2 === (Chris is waiting for more contestants outside of Diglett's Cave and Viridian Forest. He has a bandage on his nose. Bud is standing nearby)

(Welp. Alan has just finished showing him his Dugtrio. His Dugtrio has a lot of peckings on it. It flees. He steps aside for more trainers)

Chris: Full of surprises, Alan.

Alan: More where that came from.

(Alice, Trixie and Ludwig approach. They release their Dugtrios. All three Dugtrio look around confused before vanishing into the dirt)

Chris: Nice job you three! You’re done with the challenge!

(Alice, Ludwig and Trixie cheer. Trixie and Ludwig high five. Alice gets some of that too. Immediately after, Alice walks off to tend to her cracked fossil)


(Grace and Axel run to Chris and Bud empty handed. Both are bruised, battered and twitching from multiple different spore affects)

Chris: You two look like crud.

Grace: (turns towards Viridan Forest) Magnemite! Get ready to use THUNDER WAVE!

(Magnemite, now well rested from the earlier battle with Amber, floats towards the area Grace and Axel ran from. From the forest, three angry, rabid Butterfree emerge. Magnemite immediately hits them with ThunderWave, a blast of electrical energy with means to paralyze. The three Butterfree are stunned and stiffly fall to the ground. Axel and Grace claim one each)

?????: AHA!!!

(Amber soars out of Viridian Forest and grabs the third one. She captures it)

Amber: I saw a SWARM of these and tailed them all the way to the exit! Lucky me. (grins as she walks past an annoyed Grace) Aw, cheer up Plug-It Polly. You have one too. I chased them all the way here for you. You’re welcome.

(Amber doesn’t realize she was following the swarm of Butterfree that was CHASING Grace and Axel)

Grace: They chased US all the way here, you cowpunk.

Amber: Want a rematch, lip-zilla?

Grace: …

Amber: Good answer.

Chris: Axel. Amber. Grace. You’re good to go.

---> Grace: Amber’s officially on the list. (Grace looks incredibly annoyed)

---> Amber: My humor consists of pushin my friend's buttons until they physically attack me, which is also how I treat my enemies. ... I just like fighting, y'all.

(The three walk away, tired from today’s goose chase)


(Payton walks out with her Sneasel. She emerges from Diglett’s Cave. She plops the Pokeball on the ground, releasing a blue Dugtrio, frozen from battle)

Chris: Payton! Good work!

Payton: What’s with your nose?

(Chris’ nose has a huge band-aid on it from Ross tossing his PokeBall at him)

Chris: … I’m afraid to admit weakness in front of you specifically, Payton.

Payton: I believe it.

(Payton nods in agreement. She walks away)




=== Viridan Forest === (Zane, Natalie and Malika are still on the hunt for Butterfree. Malika and Natalie are pursuing one now... and the hunt ends for one of them)

Malika: GOT IT!

(Malika throws a Pokeball into the air. She catches it. A Butterfree was in the midst of falling from having her Shroomish use Sleeping Powder on it. She tucks the ball away)

Natalie: (skidding to a halt) Good job, Malika!

Malika: Okay, now to help you find a-

Natalie: -No. Malika. Really. You’ve sacrificed enough for today. You nearly lost Bounsweet.

(Before Malika can reply, Zane walks over to the two. He has a Pokeball in hand)

Zane: Gastly went INTO a tree and scared all of the Bugs out! Guess what I caught!

Natalie: Congrats, Zane!

Zane: … How do you know whether or not to congratulate me? You have to guess what I caught. COULD be a Butterfree. COULD be a Caterpie. Could be a Kyogre. Who knows?

Malika: … Is it a Butterfree?

Zane: YUP!

Malika: Congrats, bro!

Zane: THANK YOU! Now Natalie, let's find you a-

Natalie: -Listen. You two have done a lot for me today. I want you to head to the exit and get your Pokemon to Chris to make sure you're safe this episode. I’ll stay and search for a Butterfree.

Zane: No can do.

Natalie: You two need to leave for your own benefit. I'm trying to help.

Zane: Well... Help yourself by letting US help. Your Metapod can’t fight its own evolution. We’re sticking with you until we catch you your Butterfree.

Malika: Yup. There’s no taking “no” for an answer on this. We’re helping.

Zane: Besides, we like hanging around you.

Natalie: Oh... … (touched) … You two… … (blushes) I… I don’t know what to say.

Malika: You’re the Bug specialist. Lead the way.

Natalie: Alright... I will take your help, thank you… (turns)… I’d say… we go THIS way-

(Suddenly they hear an airhorn in the far distance)


Natalie: … (sighs) He did that on purpose.

(Zane and Malika comfort Natalie as they walk her to the exit)

---> Malika: (wincing) Oooooh yikes.




=== Kanto, Route 2 === (Chris and Bud have all of those who completed the challenge gathered. Ross, Ryuma, Amber, Grace, Axel, Matteo, Alan, Molly, Joey, Alice, Ludwig, Trixie, Payton, Bolin, Natalie, Malika and Zane are all here. The only one not here... is Angie)

Chris: Malika. Zane. You’re good…. And as for YOU Natalie… Once again, I’m not surprised with your consistent chain of failures.

Natalie: It’s only episode one. How has there been a “chain of failures” yet?

Chris: You’re Bug Type. I assume your whole life is a chain of failures.

(Some of the more mean spirited trainers giggle at Chris’ constant rudeness. … Namely Payton. Some speak up)

Alan: Lay off, Davenport.

Chris: You and what functioning eyeballs?

(Molly rolls up a magazine from her purse and whacks Chris over the head with it)

Chris: OW! Can people DO that to the host!?

Molly: Yes and I can do it again! Apologize to Alan and Natalie. Now.

(Molly smiles at Alan. Alan returns the smile, since he did in fact HEAR her come to his defense)

Chris: Here comes the last competitor AND Bud with a new bandaid for my head!

Bud: I'm not doing that.

(Molly’s intervention is interrupted by Angie arriving holding… a fossil. Angie runs over to Alice specifically, isolating her from the crowd)

Angie: ALICE! HEY! I feel bad for hurting your precious prehistoric undead rock baby so HERE. I got you another one.

(Alice inspects the fossil given to her by Angie)

Alice: Wow, Angie… This is actually very thoughtful…

Chris: BUT is it the Dugtrio?

(Angie bites her lip. She doesn't have a Dugtrio... but at least she's not alone. Natalie doesn't have a Butterfree. The two look at one another)

---> Natalie: (deep sigh) ... Oh boy.

---> Angie: It sucks being in the bottom, but at least I have company, and it's good company. (smiles)

(Chris claps, signaling attention)

Chris: The first challenge is over! The trailers are parked right here. (points to the trailers now parked outside of Pewter City) We will have a short break before we have elimination here in THIS spot… be back before sundown. The judges will be deciding the loser...

(All of the contestants look at one another. ... The first elimination is on the horizon)




=== Girl’s Trailer === (Amber, Payton, Angie and Alice are inside of the trailers right now. Alice is placing the two fossils on her bed. She is dusting them off for further inspecting as Angie stands behind her worriedly)

Angie: Are they alright? Is everything okay?

Alice: They’re alright… Thank you for getting me another fossil. If it means anything, the first one can still be revived. It’ll just have some… defects.

Angie: As long as it’s okay.

(Alice stands up and offers Angie a handshake)

Alice: Thank you.

(Angie stares at the hand. She gently shakes it)

Angie: A handshake, woah... I feel like I just got a job or something.

Alice: (puts a hand on Angie's shoulder) You're alright Angie. I appreciated the gesture. I love the fossil and you've more than redeemed yourself.

(Alice goes into the bathroom. Payton and Amber both watch her leave from their bunk beds. Amber is on the bottom bunk, Payton is on the top. When Alice leaves, they look to Angie)

Payton: That was a stupid move, Angie.

Angie: The handshake or the fossil, because I totally agree on the handshake.

Payton: All affection is innately dumb, so both… kinda?

Amber: I’d hate to agree with Payton, so I’ll only PARTIALLY agree. (crosses her arms) You’d better hope the judges are feeling merciful, Angie. Things are NOT looking bright for ya.

(Angie has a fearful expression on her face)

Amber: But look on the bright side. You’re FIGHTING type. Fighting Pokemon are born with grit. Just PUMMEL your opponent till Chris agrees to keep ya around!

Payton: Or go home because Ice is weak to Fighting and I'd appreciate it. It's never too late to make somebody happy.

Angie: T-thanks, guys.

---> Amber: I get heated during challenges. But I have no problem extending a little friendly insight to those who need it… My insight is just that Angie’s going down without a parachute and when that happens... do some cool tricks before you splat. (shrugs) Sorry, Angie.


=== Kanto, Route 2 === (Ross is walking through the woodland area. He’s carrying camping supplies. His Buizel trots by his side. He spots Natalie alone on a log just outside of Viridian Forest)

Ross: (stops) Hey Natalie. What’s wrong?

Natalie: … I’m could go home today.

Ross: With that attitude, sure.

Natalie: It’s all my fault for being… so stubborn about Bug pokemon. I’m just tired of being called weak JUST because I love Bug Type… And I hate that people are RIGHT… … Maybe I AM weak.

Ross: I wouldn’t say that for sure.

Natalie: I want to prove that ANY Pokemon can be strong…

Ross: And they can. It takes a strong trainer to do it. Pokemon Rangers don’t get to where they are because of strong Pokemon. They get there because they’re capable trainers who can make something out of nothing… You’re just hitting a road bump right now.

Natalie: … (she looks up. She smiles) Thank you, Ross.

Ross: Now. Speaking of roadbumps. I’m gonna prevent myself from being one by making a campsite somewhere off the road. Wish me luck.

(Natalie waves to Ross... then lowers her hand and scowls when she sees Bolin walking past Ross. Ross waves to Bolin. Bolin doesn’t respond. He notices Natalie and stops)

(Bolin and Natalie stare at one another for a second)

Natalie: … (frowns) Well… I might be leaving. Anything to say?

Bolin: … (shrugs) Saw it coming. (He keeps walking)

Natalie: …

(Natalie sighs and kicks a pinecone)




(Elimination Time)

=== ELIMINATION CEREMONY, Kanto Route 2 === (The air is rite with tension. It’s time to send someone home… On Route 2, outside the trailers, Chris has set up a couple of seats for the contestants. They’re rocks and logs pulled out for them to occupy)

(Alan, Natalie, Axel, Grace, Amber, Malika, Zane, Molly, Joey, Ludwig, Alice, Trixie, Ryuma, Matteo, Angie, Payton, Ross, Bolin. All gathered and accounted for. The sun is going down)

(Chris, Bud and Professor Oak are here)

Chris: Welcome to the first elimination. Usually, they’d take place in gyms, but in the absence of one, we work with the location we’ve got. Bud, Oak and I are the judges today. Before we actually begin judging, I'd like to announce the people who are safe. Bud, if you will.

Bud: (coughs) I didn't memorize any of their names and I don't intend to.

Chris: ... Okay then. (clears his throat) The following people are safe.  … Ryuma… Zane… Payton … Alice… Grace … Amber … Joey … Molly … Ludwig … Matteo … Trixie … Ross … Malika… and Alan.

(All of those called safe relax and lean next to their Pokemon. They don't have to worry about being sent home... however)

Chris: There are four of you le-



(Joey begins to sniffle. Molly dabs his tears with a tissue and gives Chris the harshest death glare he’s ever received. Chris just doesn’t look at her)

Chris: Four of you are left… Three of you represent today’s WORST. One of you is today’s winner.

(Axel, Angie, Bolin and Natalie remain)

Chris: … The winner of every challenge will receive LEADER immunity. That means they’ll be safe for today AND tomorrow… and today’s LEADER immunity goes to BOLIN.

(Bolin stands up and accepts his Pokepuff. Everyone claps for him, except for the bitter few)

Chris: The loser, on the other hand, leaves the show immediately…

(Angie, Axel, and Natalie look downward)

Chris: (poses dramatically, like he’s in some kind of anime) AND IT’S COME DOWN TO THIS! (does a magic girl pose) Every elimination, we narrow down the three WORST trainers dictated by that day’s challenge. Let the narrowing process… BEGIN.



(The judges, Chris, Bud, and Professor Oak, speak to the bottom three)

Professor Oak: Natalie … One of your Pokemon evolved today… but even so, most of today’s misfortunates seemed to happen to you individually. Either bad luck or a under experience. I’m not sure if this show can accommodate for either.

(Natalie looks down shamefully)

Professor Oak: Angie… that was selfless, retrieving a fossil rather than a Pokemon. But today’s challenge was crucial to knowing whether or not you CAN catch a Pokemon in the heat of action and whether you can follow directions…

(Angie kicks her feet lightly)

Professor Oak: Axel, your method of attracting Butterfree worked, but the capture process was rough for you. And one would even say it was practically done FOR you.

(Axel rolls his eyes)

(Chris does the dramatic pose again)

Chris: AND NOW for the part where we narrow down the losers to TWO. In order to do so, you each will go into the confessional and give a plea to the judges, and tell us why you should stay and/or why your peers should go home… … …

(Chris grimly turns and smile evilly at the safe contestants)

Chris: We encourage other members of the cast to chip in as well.

(Everyone gasps)

Chris: No votes this season. But you CAN give your input as to why you’d want one of these losers to stay, or to go. If you have a friend in the bottom three, argue for their safety. (Malika and Zane nod at Natalie) If you have an enemy… (chuckles) … try and condemn them. (Axel tenses up)

(Axel, Angie and Natalie all stare in bewilderment. This isn’t good. The other contestants can play a hand in their elimination)

Chris: We will review all confessionals and dictate which of the three is worthy enough to avoid the final determiner of elimination.

Natalie: What’s the “final determiner”?

Chris: You’ll understand soon enough. Now… if everyone would please give their input…

(Everyone looks nervous. They have the ability to potentially endanger one of the three candidates for elimination. Axel. Natalie. Angie)

(Axel, Natalie and Angie all look at each other fearfully)


(Analysis Of Bottom Three - Episode 1)

---> Payton: Natalie’s pretty annoying… But I want her to stay because she’s Bug Type. I can beat Bugs. So I’ll just highlight some of Angie’s flaws. Her many MANY flaws. For one thing, she easily bent over and abandoned the challenge simply to please her peers. While making other people happy can be “okay” to some people, I’m putting it out there that she is the first contestant here to altogether FORGET the challenge.

---> Joey: Ummm… (shrugs) Axel stinks up the trailer.

---> Molly: I don’t want to talk ill of anyone. … So I’ll just remain positive! I believe each and every one of the bottom three has untapped potential and that they should ALL stay.

---> Ryuma: I don’t know what Axel and Natalie did, but if they’re in the bottom three, it must not have been much. Natalie’s probably gonna stay since she claimed “first evolution” of the season … but c’mon. Bugs evolve fast. That has nothing to do with how she did today. Sorry, Natalie. As a Dragon Trainer, I have a thorough understand of how strenuous waiting for evolutions to happen can be. For Dragons… it’s looooong. (Ryuma sighs)

---> Amber: I gotta say… Angie. We’re all here to win. Natalie may have slipped, but at least she slipped unintentionally! She can lose fairly some other day… but missing the challenge to find a rock? Angie, c’mon, girl.

---> Grace: Axel didn’t catch the Butterfree on his own. I practically did that for him. I didn’t sign up to spoon-feeding frog boy. Sorry.

---> Ludwig: Axel didn’t actively catch a Butterfree on his own. Grace’s interferences gave him that window. That window won’t always be there, and we can’t guarantee Axel won’t get by purely by circumstance. I think we should release him altogether.

---> Trixie: Angie should stay. What she did for Alice was so… sweet. Angie proved that she’s more than a punch line. She can take things seriously. Natalie’s expertise is Bug and she couldn’t even catch a Bug Type. (shrugs) I’m sorry, Natalie.

---> Alan: I’m still analyzing things. Learning the lay of the land. I haven’t gotten to figure out where these three stand quite yet… but Angie deliberately disregarded the challenge. She should take this game more seriously.

---> Alice: Without a doubt in my mind, Angie should stay. I’m sure if he allow her passage into the next episode she’ll gladly prove to us what she didn’t prove today. What she did prove was that she’s the kind of trainer who puts others before herself. I believe that’s a trait that lies at the core of the Champion’s being.

---> Ross: The fact that a Fighting Type trainer was able to chip put a fossil without breaking it… says a lot about Angie as a Fighting Type trainer. That must be a lot of control. For that, Angie should stay. I don’t have an alibi for the others.

---> Zane: Natalie should stay because she’s a good, kind friend who everybody loves!

---> Matteo: Um… (scratches the back of his neck) … … … … I dunno. I heard Angie accidentally hurt Alice… so like… … (Matteo is just droning) … That’s bad, man.

---> Malika: It was NATALIE who put the honey on the tree. I heard that’s how Joey and Molly got their Butterfree! Natalie did that for them! She’s smart, it was OUR fault she got sidetracked. Natalie deserves to stay!

---> Bolin: Natalie couldn’t catch a Bug in her own environment. If she can’t make Bug effective in their own habitat, then forget any chance of her succeeding elsewhere. Snuff out the fodder.

---> Natalie: I don’t know what to say… I. … .. I was sidetracked. Sidetracked for a good reason. I wanted to help Malika get her Bounsweet back… (Natalie clenches her fists) I had that Butterfree in the Pokeball. Even if for a second, I had it. Bolin got the best of me… But I’m the first trainer in this game to evolve their Pokemon… … So I think that counts for something.

---> Angie: As long as Alice is happy, I’m happy with my decision. I promise I can do better next time! No doubt. Nuh uh. Natalie and Axel are pretty cool too… But I’d like to be the one that stays. (shrugs with a “mip” face)

---> Axel: Heck, as least I TRIED the challenge. I was able to bring the Butterfree TO the exit. I’m the one who caused the Butterfree chase. In a way, I brought Grace AND Amber their Butterfree, so it’s THEM who should be here, not me. Oh, and Natalie couldn’t catch a Bug in the first place. Nuff said.


(Input Submitted. Chris, Oak and Bud approach the cast after reviewing them)

Chris: … A lot was said about these three. Angie. Axel. Natalie. A lot of VERY good points were made. Natalie is the one that put the honey on the tree, AND was the first to evolve her Pokemon. However, she also couldn’t catch a bug in her own environment.

Bud: Angie safely was able to chip out a fossil, which is remarkable for a type as fist-focused as Fighting. However, she abandoned the challenge.

Oak: Axel was the one to start the Butterfree swarm. He was most willing to dive head first into the heart of the game. However, he was easily disposed of by his peers and seemingly coat-tailed one.

(Chris, Bud and Oak nod)

Chris: … We have decided that the contestant being spared from the bottom two is…. …

(Axel sweats. He has his fingers crossed as he bites his lip)

(Angie is nervously tapping the ground with her foot)

(Natalie is clasping her hands together, as if praying)




Chris: … AXEL. Frog boy, you’re safe.

(Axel cheers and takes his poffin. It’s only Natalie and Angie left)

Axel: (to Natalie) Sucks to be you, ferngully.

(Natalie frowns and lowers her head)

Chris: … To determine a winner… we have a little… tradition we’d like to start. You see, it’s always gonna be a close call when it comes to whoever the bottom two are, so instead of deciding that ourselves… we’re gonna let them BATTLE for safety! A SUDDEN DEATH DUEL!

(Everyone gasps. Natalie and Angie especially)

Chris: So… (grins evilly) Have at it. BUG TYPE vs FIGHTING TYPE! Angie and Natalie. The time is now! Let the battle… BEGIN!!!




=== SUDDEN DEATH DUEL === (BUG (Natalie) vs FIGHTING (Angie) Begin!)

(Angie and Natalie stand at separate ends of the route, a good distance from each other. They send out their Pokemon)

(Angie sends out MAKUHITA. Natalie sends out METAPOD. Makuhita moves towards the Metapod. The Metapod does nothing)

Natalie: Metapod! Harden! (under her breath) It’s their signature move. Hope it works. Hope it works.

Angie: Sorry Nat… (takes a deep breath) Makuhita. SUBMISSION!!!

(Makuhita looms over Metapod and forcefully slams its open palm into it. Metapod rocks back, but isn’t affected)

Angie: AGAIN!

Natalie: Metapod! Harden! Keep hardening!

(The guys in the cast start snickering. The girls roll their eyes)


(Makuhita keeps hitting Metapod, but it becomes this strange occurance of the sumo Pokemon battering around the poor cocoon with no indication of the cocoon taking any damage)

Angie: Well how am I supposed to beat it if it keeps hardening?

Axel: It’s easier to beat when it’s hard.

(Zane spits out a soda he was in the process of drinking. It goes all over Bolin. Amber shoves Axel over. He flops onto the ground. The same happens with Metapod and Makuhita)

---> Axel: That joke was just as funny as it was in my head and I regret nothing.

Angie: Makuhita! Finish this!

(Makuhita dabs)

Angie: No, like the battle, ma bro.

(Makuhita attempts to use Submission again… but same effect. None)

Angie: … Okay, this Metapod has just hardened to the point where I can’t do anything. How is this battle supposed to end?

Natalie: … Like this. (yells) STRING SHOT!

(Metapod shoots string into Makuhita’s face. Makuhita is startled and stumbles back. Metapod swiftly moves upright. It hardens its gaze)


Everyone: …

Angie: Good. That joke deserved to be killed. Anyway… MAKUHITA! Bulk Up!

Natalie: Metapod! Use Tackle!

(Metapod lurches at Makuhita and SLAMS into its string covered face right as it was bulking up. Wind knocked OUT of Makuhita. It slams into a tree and slides onto the ground)

Natalie: B-Bug Bite! Met-meta-Metapod! GO!

(Natalie is practically hyperventilating. She’s so scared right now, as opposed to Angie’s calm-ish glee)

(Metapod waddles over to Makuhita. It barrages it with tiny bites. Makuhita flails and shoves Metapod off)

Angie: Makuhita! SUBMISSION!!!

(Makuhita runs at Metapod to punch it. Due to the string shot, Makuhita misses and trips over Metapod. Makuhita rolls into another tree. The impact is HARD)

Angie: MAKUHITA! USE- (Angie sees Natalie doing something weird) … UM.


(Makuhita looked up just in time to see Metapod collide with its head. Metapod was THROWN by Natalie. Literally thrown)

Angie: …

Natalie: …

---> Natalie: … I panicked.

(Makuhita is lying limp on the ground, mumbling in wooziness)

Molly: (hands to her mouth) My, she just threw her own Pokemon.

Ross: Is that… allowed?

(Natalie looks at Chris. She awaits an answer)

Angie: (raises her hand) It was funny. Therefore it should be legal.

Chris: … I mean… .... The unspoken rule is that the trainer themselves cannot physically engage with the opponent’s Pokemon… But there’s no rule against literally chucking your own Pokemon… Sooooo…. …

(Angie is taking this time to check on her Pokemon. She’s shaking her Makuhita. It’s unconscious)

Angie: Makuhita? … … (smiles) Here. I’ll join you. Will that make you feel better?

(Angie does a death drop next to her Makuhita)

Chris: … (nods) I’ll allow it. Angie, you may as well stay down there cuz YOU. ARE. ELIMINATED!

(ANGIE vs NATALIE. Game Over, Angie)


(Natalie, Alice, Zane and Malika rush over to Angie. They help her off the ground with her Makuhita)

Natalie: Angie! I’m so sorry, I-

Angie: -Naw. I only came here to promote my blog anyway. No big loss.

Malika: Really?

Angie: Nope. But I’m gonna tell myself that anyway to curb the pain. (snaps her fingers) Ayyyyy.

Alice: We’ll miss you, Angie.

Angie: Yeah. It’s whatever. Least none of you have to go first. I had fun. (Angie stands up) Now to find a sunset to walk off into. Let’s jet, Makuhita.

(Makuhita waddles to Angie’s side. The two walk off together, leaving the game once and for all. Natalie, Alice, Malika and Zane waving farewell to her)

---> Alice: What she did was really selfless… It’s sad seeing her go.

---> Ryuma: Better her than me.

---> Zane: NOW what are we gonna dedicate the urinal shrine to?





=== Kanto, Route 2 === (Bud is working on fixing the truck. He’s just fine tuning it)

Grace: (approaches) Need any help?


Grace: Sheesh. (walks away) If you need help, don’t come crying to me.



(Following that, Ross walks over to Bud, who rolls his eyes and holds out his hand)

Bud: Yeah, Yeah. I know the drill.

(Bud takes Ross’ map from his hands and scribbles on it. He marked the next location. Ross smiles and goes to his own campsite to prepare for sleep)

---> Bud: The fact that he thinks he’s gonna be able to keep this up ALL season is… kind of mind boggling. Hiking to every challenge? Dude’s gonna fall behind too far.


=== Boy’s Trailer === (Matteo is folding his laundry on his bed. Zane and Alan are nearby)

Matteo: To think an act of selflessness sent Angie home. I expected … different. I expect that from Zane.

Zane: THAT’S ME!

Alan: I expected pure incompetence to be her downfall.

Matteo: Yeah, that.

(Bolin walks in and moves to the bathroom)

Matteo: Hey man. Congrats on immunity.

(Bolin doesn’t acknowledge them. He just leaves to the bathroom)

Matteo: … Okay.

Zane: Must have to go really bad.


=== Trailers, Exterior === (Molly is walking back to the trailers. Joey is with her. Alan walks by. Molly gasps and spruces herself up a bit before ushering Joey to the boy’s trailer. He enters. Molly then realizes she doesn’t need to spruce up for Alan… he is blind)

Alan: (approaches Molly) Good evening, Molly.

Molly: (blushing) You can tell it’s me?

Alan: Your perfume is the only thing thicker than smoke. (puts away his cigar)

Molly: You really shouldn’t smoke.

Alan: I try not to when Murkrow’s out and about.

Molly: That’s considerate of you. … (Molly blushes again, just being in Alan’s presence) I don’t know what I’d do if my kids started smoking. I guess it’s just something you accept when you’re older, but I could never allow my kids to begin that habit.

Alan: It’s a filthy habit. I admit it.

Molly: Oh, but I’m sure you can manage to handle yourself. I try to as well.

Alan: Handle ME?

Molly: (blushes) Oh, my… I mean… (giggling lightfully) … I’m a single mother, and I know how to… handle things.

Alan: ... (shrugs and tips his hat) Well, see you tomorrow. (Alan enters the boy’s trailer)

Molly: Good night! (He closes the door) …

Joey: (jumps out of a bush. He snuck out to watch all of that) EW! Do you LIKE him?!

Molly: You’ll understand when you’re older.

Joey: Ugh. (gestures with his hands flat and field goal-ish) Coodies, man.

Molly: Another thing you’ll understand when you’re older is that it’s actually the BOYS who have the coodies. Not girls. (Molly giggles and enters her trailer)




=== Pewter City, Fossil Museum === (The Pewter City Fossil Museum is getting close to closing time. The exhibit of fossil resurrection is still open, and a few locals are in their working on reviving their fossil)

(Alice has brought Natalie here)

Natalie: Why did you bring me here, Alice?

Alice: As soon as the ceremony was over, I rushed over here. I need to show you something…

(Alice walks over to a small tarp and pulls it off. Underneath is… the fossil that Angie almost broke, only it looks different. MAJORLY different. It’s ALIVE. It’s an ANORITH. A small rock crustacean with claw-like limbs on its side and a small tail. It has two pincers… only this one has one normal sized pincer and one smaller, shriveled up one. It’s a handicapped Anorith)

Alice: I found a fossil…  but it was… (remembers Angie) ... accidentally damaged. I was afraid that reviving it wouldn’t have been an option due to its condition… but knowing you, I think you’ll be able to take care of him.

Natalie: (looks at Anorith) … … Ohh…

(Natalie smiles and begins to pet it. Anorith takes to her quickly and curls up in her embrace, awkwardly rolling due to its imbalance)

Alice: It was going to be your farewell gift…

(Natalie looks at Alice in confusion)

Alice: (shrugs) I’m sorry, but we were all sure you weren’t gonna make it. But Angie left instead… Regardless, she’d want you to have this.

Natalie: She would?

Alice: Of course. It was Angie’s idea to give this Anorith to you.

(Alice walks out of the area. Natalie is left alone with her Anorith. She sees is struggling in her arms, and she places it upright. It chirps and chatters at her, making her giggles. She nods and picks it up, taking it with her. The second catch of the game)

Natalie: (cradling the Anorith in her arms) … Thank you Angie.

(An employee walks up to Natalie)

Employee: We’re closing-

Malika: (pokes head through window) -JUST LET HER BE HAPPY FOR ONE SECOND, DUDE!

(Employee gets so startled they start crying)




=== Kanto, Route 2 === (The engines of the trailers are revving up. Everyone is inside. They’re ready to leave. The camera pans over to Ross, asleep next to his Buizel. They’re lying on the ground, curled up in sleeping bags)

(Ross’s map is poking out of the sleeping bag)

(A mysterious figure, shrouded in darkness, takes his map and erases Chris’ markings. They then mark a new location on the map… specifically to lead Ross off the trail. They tuck it back and disappear)

(Uh Oh)




Molly MacGrady -  Dedenne 
Zane Lute - #092 Gastly 
Alan Collins - #198 Murkrow 
Ross Marciano - #418 Buizel 
Malika Carter - #761 Bounsweet#285 Shroomish 
Amber McLeod - :vulpix: 
Trixie Masterson - #677 Espurr 
Payton Rothman - #215 Sneasel 
Grace Cirillo - #081 Magnemite  
Joey Young - #399 Bidoof 
Axel Kens - #023 Ekans 
Bolin Temirov - #396 Starly 
Ludwig Von Malmar - #374 Beldum 
Ryuma Scifo - Sophie Sprite 
Natalie Harlow - #011 Metapod#347 Anorith 
Alice Kuroski - Tyrunt 
Matteo Rossi -  #027 Sandshrew 

Chapter Text

REGION TROTTERS: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 3

Molly MacGrady -  Dedenne 
Zane Lute - #092 Gastly 
Alan Collins - #198 Murkrow 
Ross Marciano - #418 Buizel 
Malika Carter - #761 Bounsweet#285 Shroomish 
Amber McLeod - :vulpix: 
Trixie Masterson - #677 Espurr 
Payton Rothman - #215 Sneasel 
Grace Cirillo - #081 Magnemite  
Joey Young - #399 Bidoof 
Axel Kens - #023 Ekans 
Bolin Temirov - #396 Starly 
Ludwig Von Malmar - #374 Beldum 
Ryuma Scifo - Sophie Sprite 
Natalie Harlow - #011 Metapod#347 Anorith 
Alice Kuroski - Tyrunt 
Matteo Rossi -  #027 Sandshrew 


=== Route 3, Mt. Moon Exterior === (There is a Pokemon Center outside of Mt. Moon. It’s a large, cavern housing multiple Pokemon and eerie, mystical, space-related lore)

(A small cabin nearby is for weary travellers to dine. The trailers are parked outside)

(In the cabin, Zane, Ludwig, Natalie, Malika and Alice are all sitting together. They’re watching Natalie’s Anorith crawl around on the table sniffing everyone’s food. It sneezes when it reaches Zane, splattering eggs and french toast all over his face. Everyone laughs. Zane’s laugh is the loudest)

---> Payton: So...Angie's out. The chick with a 4x type advantage against my starter is the first boot. That one time I pushed a shopping cart into that man in a wheelchair for littering is finally paying off. Thanks, universe. (Payton gives a thumbs up) That makes the current number of people, Pokemon, objects or abstract concepts working in my favor exactly …(she counts on her fingers)...two. Sneasel and the universe. I'm ROLLING in good fortune. (despite this, Payton seems glum)

(Amber walks past the table, scowling at the friend group as she does so. She sits on the other side of the mess hall with Grace, Payton, and Ryuma)

Amber: You see that over there? (gestures to the large table with the laughing friends) I knew it wouldn’t take long.

Grace: (rolls her eyes) What’s got your knot in a knot this time, Amber?

Ryuma: (holds up a pinecone) Need to stress eat?

(Amber grabs the pinecone and eats it just to spite Ryuma. Ryuma didn’t think she’d actually do it. Ryuma slowly moves his empty hand away)

Amber: (finishes chewing the pinecone. She speaks with a mouthful) Anyways, others are already teaming up.

Grace: (rolls her eyes) Oh lighten up. It’s the third episode.

Amber: (swallows the rest of the pinecone) HEY! It's early enough to make lasting decisions, like ALLIANCES.

Payton: (poking her food with her fork) You think any of us wanna form an alliance, form an alliance in general, or worst of all form an alliance with you specifically in general?

Amber: Let’s see. (counts on her fingers) It’s strategic. It’s lasting. It’s a GOOD IDEA. I'M the literal best, so I don’t see why not.

Payton: Let me rephrase myself. You think any of us wanna form an alliance with YOU?

Ryuma: (mumbling) You didn't rephrase, you just repeated yourself.

Amber: (looking around) Hey, diprods! I’m offering my HELP.

Ryuma: (speaks up) Look at it this way, we’re not voting anybody off at any point in time, so there’s no point in forming an alliance where it’s every man for themselves.

Grace: Yeah, and I can’t think of a whole lot of reasons to trust you.

Amber: (in a huff) Oh yeah, name ONE.

Grace: … I can’t. That’s the problem.

(Grace stands up and walks away with her food. Ryuma joins her. Payton sticks around)

Amber: … (takes a deep breath. She looks to Payton) What say you, Ice Queen?

Payton: Guess.

Amber: … It’s “no”, isn’t it?

Payton: Wasn't that anticipation fun?

(Payton stands up and leaves. Amber is left alone. She leans on the table and begrudgingly eats her food)

---> Grace: Amber pummeled and coattailed me in the first challenge and now she wants to buddy up? Light switches can’t be on and off at the same time and neither can Amber. Have you tried that at any point? It's frustrating, like Amber. Nice try.


(Joey and Molly are sitting together, eating their breakfast. Alan and Axel are seated next to them)

Molly: Excited to finally catch a Rattata today, Joey?

Joey: (sighs) … Mt. Moon. No Rattata…

Molly: Well… How do you know?

Joey: Because the RATTATA don't go into caves! They're too scared of Zubats! … Zubats are okay, but they're no RATTATA, they don't have god-like stats and, top percentageness, and the ability to do a kickflip on command.

Axel: (bored) Rattatas can’t do kickflips-

Joey: -I’ll train MINE to.

Alan: Have you considered catching a different Pokemon?

Joey: What else is there that can possibly compare to a Rattata?

Zane: (offscreen) … I memorized the PokeRap. I can sing it!

(Axel takes the scrambled eggs and plugs his ears. Zane begins singing regardless of anybody asking him to. Alan sits there with a look that reads "I wish I was deaf instead of blind")


=== Route 3 === (Outside of Mt. Moon on the craggy mountain strip. Trixie is training here on a rocky route that leads to a vast hillside that carries downwards to Pewter City. She is meditating on a rock)

Trixie: … Hmmmm… … … Hmmm… … … ..

(She’s approached from behind by Alice, who casually sits down next to her)

Alice: What are you doing?

(Tyrunt, Alice’s prehistoric Pokemon, starts nuzzling against Trixie’s Espurr, who is trying to sleep on a rock)

Trixie: (opens an eye) I’m meditating to enhance my psychic powers.

Alice: Hm. I thought meditating enhanced Fighting Type abilities.

Trixie: … It’s ambiguous.

(Tyrunt headbutts the rock that Espurr is sleeping on. Espurr’s hair stands on all ends. It hisses at Tyrunt, who droopily walks away)

Alice: So how often do you practice your psychic abilities?

(Alice puts down her studying material and pulls out a notepad as if she's ready to take notes)

---> Alice: As a scientist, it's always interesting to hear from the perspective of a psychic. Trixie hasn't specified what specific ability she has. Psychics are known for only being able to refine one. Sometimes it's telekinesis, sometimes levitation, sometimes mind reading. I'd love to be a mind reader. Field surveys would be so much easier.

Alice: What’s it like, being psychic? Moving things with your mind and being able to … otherwise communicate through telepathy?

Trixie: … Um… w-well…

(Trixie facepalms)

Trixie: Okay, I trust you, Alice. I need to come clean. I’m not very experienced. I kind of lied to you all when I said I was a “psychic”. I am… but clearly not yet.

(Alice glances down at her notepad which she labeled on the page "Psychic Notes" but is now looking like notes a therapist would take. This went a different direction)

---> Trixie: Two episodes ago, I vowed not to tell anyone about my lack of psychic abilities… Now it’s an icebreaker. (Trixie facepalms) … But I think I can trust Ludwig and Alice, they helped me last episode.

Alice: Oh… so you’re practicing to enhance your dormant abilities?

Trixie: Uh huh.

Alice: Well… Perhaps you’re thinking about it far too stereotypically.

Trixie: How so?

Alice: It shouldn’t be a matter of “meditation” and “fingers to the side of the head while staring hungrily at a spoon hoping it’ll bend”...

(Trixie hides a spoon she was holding)

Alice: You should find your own way of practicing. Something specific to you.

Trixie: Wow, Alice… You’re a scientist. I totally expected a different answer from you like... "do your homework" or "don't read into astrology"… Thank you.

Alice: (scoffs playfully) I AM a scientist, and I have no issues admitting that I don’t know jack s*** about “psychics”. But abilities aside, EVERYONE is susceptible to improvement through positive reinforcement. Keep at it. ... But also do your homework and don't read into astrology. A horoscope once told me my life would be linear. (narrows her eyes) The gall to imply that I'm straight. (Alice smiles) I'll leave you to your excerises. See you around, Trixie.

(Alice walks off. Tyrunt runs back and licks Espurr before it trots off after its master. Espurr paws at itself to get the saliva off. It flails off onto the ground)

(Trixie waves Alice off and smiles. She hears squabbling and looks out and sees a Starly brawling with a few Spearow overhead. Upon further investigation, she sees Bolin standing nearby, watching intently. It's a training session)

(Bolin glances over at Trixie. She nervously gets up and moves away. Something about Bolin is unnerving... )


=== Route 3, Trainer House === (The cast is still eating. Chris walks in with a trainer walking behind him. He’s a tan-skinned man with spiky hair and a vest with long brown pants and rather… remarkably squinty eyes)

Chris: Everyone, this is Brock. He's the Pewter City Gym Leader and he will be our guest judge of the day. He also provided breakfast for you!

Grace: I was wondering why it was actually good. Thanks, man! About time someone with a magic touch shows up.

(Brock blushes. Bud, the driver/caterer, screams from afar. Everyone waves to Brock, happy to see a gym leader present)

(Zane walks over to Brock with a platter of sushi rolls. He’s eating them as he talks)

Zane: Man! Your sushi rolls are the BEST!

Brock: Haha! Those are JELLY DONUTS.

Chris: Got anything you wanna say, Brock?

Brock: I sure do. Make sure to do your best today. But remember, we’re ALL winners in the end.

Chris: Yeah, that last part doesn’t apply to this context. Now if you’d all follow me.

(Chris walks outside. Brock walks next to him. Everyone follows outside)

Brock: (offscreen) I brought a frying pan in case it rains today.

Chris: (offscreen) What?


(The cast has filed out of the cabin, and Bolin is the last to leave. He's prevented when Chris holds out a hand to stop him)

Chris: You have leader immunity from yesterday’s win. You get the day off. (Bolin just stares ominously) … That’s a good thing, dude.

(After a pause, Bolin walks past Chris. Chris looks dumbfounded)

Chris: Woah, that was ominous, at least IMPLY what you plan to do today! Teens only do TWO things when unsupervised and that's drugs and naps. Which is it?

Bolin: I'm 21.

Chris: HARD drugs then.

---> Bolin: (Sitting cross-legged, in deep thought) Last episode's events were... good. They worked out well. It would be expected of me to be lax this episode, as my immunity's guaranteed, but... no, I can't do that. The bug girl may pose some difficulties, but remaining steadfast is... it's important. (... Wow, this guy's fun)

(Chris looks at his list of attendance. He scratches off everybody's name... except for one)

Chris: Rhetorical question... but where's that one kid who said he was going to HIKE to every location instead of taking the trailers with us? ... What was his name? ... Robbie? ... Roy? ... Rrrrrrrrrrandall? Ribbit? ... Rock? ... Renessaince?

(Chris goes on. The scene changes... )




=== Vermillion City === (Far FAR from where the others are at in Pewter City. Vermillion City is a beaming, shiny port town with cruise ships sailing inwards and outwards. It is very much NOT the location of today’s challenge. He stands in the center of the bustling city, people and Pokemon walking around him, paying him no mind)

(Ross has his map out. His Buizel sits on his shoulder, cocking its head at the map he's holding)

(Just last episode, unbeknowest to Ross, his map was tampered with and the location of the challenge was innacurately placed on purpose by someone who remains a mystery... )

---> Ross: I'm training to become a Pokemon Ranger, so I'm hiking to every location instead of taking the trailers. I don't do well with people much anyway, so it's a win situation for me to get experience in nature while competing in my own personal bubble.... (holds up map) Unfortunately I think I'm in the wrong place and this is a very lose situation right now.

Ross: … This can’t be right.

(Ross rereads a note he’s holding)

Ross: “Dear Ross. Sorry for the late notice, dude, but we’ve changed challenge locations to Vermillion City due to issues with our original location, signed Chris” … The map’s even marked. (looks up) So where IS everyone?

(Buizel just shakes)

Ross: He’s the host. He can’t just throw me off track to make me lose. … Something’s fishy.

(We ARE in a port town, ma dude)

Ross: … The original location was Mt. Moon. We’re heading back to Pewter City. We’re taking Diglett’s Cave again.

(Buizel nods, and the two head back out of Vermillion City. Time to see if they can make it back in time for the challenge... )




=== Mt. Moon Exterior === (Meanwhile, back at the accurate location, The cast is approaching the entrance to a large and formidable cave. As they do, some chat with one another)

Matteo: … (looks around) … Are we… missing someone?

Trixie: (looks around) … Yeah, where’s Ross?

Matteo: Mmmm. (Matteo starts counting everyone) One, two, three, four, five, six, uhhh... (he finishes counting) There's only fifteen of us. We're missing three.

Alice: Ross seems to be missing, Angie was eliminated, and did... did you forget to count YOURSELF?

Matteo: ... Uhhhh... (looks back and forth) No.

Trixie: (raises a hand) Um… Chris? We’re missing someone.

Chris: I know. Ross. I told him to come to Mt. Moon. Even marked it on his dumb map. If he doesn’t show, he doesn’t show.

Payton: (scoffs) That’s the risk that comes with actively choosing to be left behind. Who would've thought?

(Chris stops everyone in front of the entrance to Mt. Moon)

Chris: The challenge is simple. Inside Mt. Moon you will each retrieve one fossil from inside of this cave. Mt. Moon has quite a few since a meteor hit this spot thousands of years ago, knocking a lot of fossils upward to be easily caved out.

Alice: (smiles and rubs her hands together) Fossils, you say?

Chris: (nods) Simply put, you must take that fossil and run through Route 3 down to Pewter City to revive it at their historical museum. Unfortunately, much like the Butterfree and the Dugtrio, you’re not allowed to keep the fossils you find or the Pokemon you revive with it.

Natalie: (Natalie raises her hand) I was given an Anorith yesterday as a gift. Does that count?

Chris: I’d say yes just to ruin your day, but quite honestly it’s BUG type. Not like it’ll HELP you. (Natalie sighs) Are we ready? … Get set… GO!!!

(The cast runs into Mt. Moon. It's challenge time. Chris looks to see that everyone is rushing for the entrance except for Ludwig, who is scribbling in a journal)

Chris: ... Yoohoo. Ludwig. Challenge started.

Ludwig: (snaps the book shut) RIGHT! (runs)

---> Ludwig: (Sits in the confessional looking at his journal and quietly writes in it)
---> Chris: (pokes his head into the confessional) Here too? Are you just going to sit there and quietly read to yourself? What are you even writing?
---> Ludwig: Would be far too dangerous if I read this out loud, People are bound to spy on each other for gossip and blackmail.
---> Chris: This is a confessional! You’re suppose to talk about everything with the privilege of no one being around to hear it.
---> Ludwig: Fine (closes the journal) I enjoyed yesterdays travel from Digletts cave to Pewter City. It’s a shame about Angie. But elimination is mandatory. I’m feeling secure in my standings due to my acquaintanceship with Alice and Trixie. I’d like to expand upon that with other contestants… Except Axel.....Axel I didn't even have to try to get on his bad side (shrugs) Then again, Axel strikes me as an early out asking for trouble.
---> Chris: Yesssss spill the tea!

(Ludwig catches up to Alice before she enters the cave. Ludwig makes a proposition)

Ludwig: Want to pair up again? (pulls out his journal) Looking ahead, we-

Alice: -I’d be glad to.

(Alice makes sure to interrupt before he can go on a winded speech about the benefits of alligning with him)

Alice: I’ll go get Trixie-

Ludwig: -Well, speaking from a point of strategy. (Out comes the journal. Ludwig mumbles and strategizes. Alice buckles down for the ride) She’s a psychic type so… (mumble mumble mumble) favor q one squared (mumble mumble) well that’s circumstantial (mumble mumble) but who’s getting dunked on? (mumble mumble mumble) …

Alice: …

Ludwig: (closes the journal) We’d be fine on our own. She offers the special attack range we don’t have, but most, if not all, foes in Mt. Moon should be easily disposed of by any of our close range physical attacks.

Alice: …

Ludwig: … But of course! The more the merrier! (They look around. Everyone’s already gone inside)  … Oh.

(The two run into the cave in order to catch up to the others)


=== Mt. Moon, Interior === (The inside of Mt. Moon is spacious. There are holes in the ceiling, illuminating the caverns. The cave itself is compiled of multiple floors, each darker as they go lower. The darker and lower, the more sturdy the fossils are)

(Payton runs into Amber who is grasping Ryuma and Grace by the arms, both of which look annoyed)

Amber: Last chance. Alliance.

Grace: (deadpan) Gee. Let me consult me, myself, and I. (pause) Unanimously hard "no"s, but myself almost gave you the benefit of the doubt.

(Grace pulls her arm away from Amber and runs off. Amber looks to her other hand. Ryuma slipped out. He’s gone. Payton casually walks off)

(Amber runs off, giving up on the potential alliance with the three)

---> Amber: Having an alliance is like… dating. You wanna slowly approach the alliance mates… And when they give the green light, you stick your tongue in their mouth or somethin, I dunno. (long pause) … … … I’ve never actually dated before either, so…. (Amber looks a little insecure about this) Hehe… Not a lot of options in the middle of Wales Island Hoenn. No gyms out there, so no strong trainers ever pop by. I basically intimidate all my options. Their loss.


(Molly is holding up her Dedenne, who is trying to yank a tiny fossil out of the wall. Not a whole lot of success)

Molly: Could you be a little more forceful, dear?

(Dedenne cutely complies and responds by SMASHING the fossil into pieces using only its skull, which composes half of its tiny body)

Molly: …

(Joey walks over, kicking his toy wooden sword along the ground as he walks. He looks bummed)

Joey: Is there a fossil version of a Rattata?

Molly: I don’t think so, dear. (Molly faces Joey) There may not be any Rattatas in Mt. Moon but there’s always hope… (puts a finger to Joey’s chest) Right here.

Joey: In my heart?

Molly: No. The spinal cord. It’s much more closely connected to the brain. Hearts just pump blood, dear. (Molly giggles) Oh there I go again picking up my own child’s habits. He’s such a smart boy. Except when it comes to laundry. I even packed some of his underwear to iron while I’m away for this game.

(Molly proceeds to pull out underwear from her purse. Joey gets second hand embarrassment burns FOR Molly's kid. Molly notices Joey's cringing and gives him a Burn Heal. Joey looks at the camera)


(Meanwhile, Grace is yanking rocks out of the wall and tossing them aside. Her Magnemite is scanning through them for a fossil. Soon, Trixie approaches with her Espurr)

Trixie: Wow! You found a spot already?

Grace: Nah. Just picked a bare wall and started wailing. I’ll find something soon.

(A wild Zubat swoops in and attacks Trixie’s Espurr, using Wing Attack. Trixie gasps and commands her Espurr to use Psywave. The Zubat gets confused. It flies in circles before it soars off to harm itself in confusion elsewhere)

Trixie: How do you manage to ward off the Zubats? I can’t stop running into them.

Grace: Zubats don’t go for humans. We’re too big. They see your Pokemon and think “mmm dinner”. Magnemite’s a robot. They don’t wanna sink their teeth into metal.

(Magnemite beeps in agreement)

Grace: So what’s up? Why aren’t you partying with the nerds today? (takes a break and leans against the wall)

Trixie: Oh. Ludwig and Alice? I’m just getting to know everybody. Plus, you looked like you could use some help.

Grace: I’m fine on my own. But you’re free to stick around. Maybe use those psychic abilities of yours to help me out, eh? Also, I guess I could use some good company.

(Grace turns and hoists a rock out of the wall and hands it to Trixie. Trixie immediately plummets to the ground from the weight. Grace is small but STRONG)

Trixe: (weakly from the ground) N-no thanks. You look like you’re able to handle yourself.

Grace: Fair enough. Take care of yourself, okay?

(Grace winks and half salutes to bid Trixie farewell. Trixie gets to her feet and turns quickly to hide a blush)

---> Trixie: I’m comfortable enough in my own sexuality to admit that Grace confuses me from time to time. No shame.

(Trixie nods and walks away. The Zubat hit with Psywave returns. It sits on a rock nearby and screeches at Grace. Its wings start doing the macarena)

Grace: Poor thing’s still confused. Magnemite... (Grace turns and keeps yanking rocks out of the wall) Give it some clarity.

(Magnemite electroshocks the poor sucker)


(Alice and Ludwig are working together, walking along inspecting walls and looking for potential fossil spots. Alice will be able to tell since it's her expertise as a Rock Type Trainer)

Alice: … You’ve been awfully quiet. Want to play a game of “Did You Know?”

Ludwig: … No thanks…

---> Alice: "Did You Know" is just a game of scientists asserting their own intelligence over one another by exchanging facts until a third party tells us to stop. It's a condescending circle jerk but it's fun.

Alice: Refusing to play? What’s wrong?

Ludwig: Trixie left without us… Do you think she did that intentionally or was I stalling too much?

Alice: The later.

Ludwig: I can’t help but wonder if she’s faring as well as we are right now. Do you think she’d be alright? Psychic type gives her an advantage against Zubats, but not against the physical powerhouses that come with cavernous territories… (pause) … Or were WE holding HER back?

Alice: Now I wouldn’t jump that far ahead-

Ludwig: -She’s popular and pretty. Nerds don’t mingle well with that.

---> Alice: This went from a discussion of Trixie's prowess and capabilities to good old fashioned high school drama. (Alice sighs) I spend so much time studying that I tend to miss high school drama, so this is a nice little simulation.

Alice: We mingled just fine with her yesterday. And besides, she writes a COMIC book series. (puts a hand on Ludwig’s shoulder) Comic. Books. Who’s nerdy now?

(Ludwig and Alice gasp as a loud BANG is heard behind them. They see Jangmo-o, Ryuma’s dragon Pokemon, RAMMING into the wall, shattering cascades of rocks while Ryuma scans the rubble for fossils)

Alice: (speaks up) Ryuma! You won’t find anything that isn’t in pieces. Try chipping them out instead!

Ryuma: (walks over to Alice and Ludwig) Yeah, that’s not a shortcut, so no thank you.

Alice: But you’ll destroy the fossils. You need to revive a whole Pokemon, not one that'll question its very existence upon rebirth.

Ryuma: The tough ones won’t crack. It’s fiiiiiiiine. Speaking of which.

(Jangmo-o cooes to Ryuma. He found a large fossil embedded into the wall behind the rocks. Ryuma already has a fossil)

Ryuma: NICE!!


(Alice’s Tyrunt sped past Ryuma and completely shattered the fossil he found. Ryuma is flabbergasted. He just looks back at Alice who blatantly sabotaged him here and now, to his FACE)

Alice: (pretending to be shocked) … Hmm... I tried it the way YOU did.

(Ryuma kicks a rock and glares at Alice)

Ryuma: FINE. I’ll find one and chip it out safely.

(Alice smiles and nods. The three separate)

---> Alice: I’m a strong believe in not fixing what isn’t broken… But I’m an even stronger believer in not breaking things in the first place. I don't want to encourage Ryuma to go so fast that he leaves a trail of flames in his wake.


(Natalie, Zane and Malika immediately went down to the lowest floor they could find. A couple of Zubats fly overhead. Zane’s Gastly scares them off. Malika’s Shroomish is releasing bioluminescants that emit small lights for them. It’s very faint. The two stumble across two fossils in the wall, but thickly sealed in)

(They high five)

Malika: Awesome! We found two! Now how do we get them out?

Zane: Ooh! Last time I ran into a hard surface at full force, you got a Shroomish. Maybe if I-

Natalie: -Zane. Don’t. We just need to be tactical.

??????: Oh great. You losers.

(Malika, Zane and Natalie all turn to see Payton. She walks past them with her Sneasel. It hisses at them)

Payton: Now this is interesting. I have a DARK and ICE type which can literally obliterate. (coyly counts the three) One. Two. Thr-THREE! Wow. All three of you. One could say that I have the, uh, … capabilities to knock you all out and take your fossils.

(A wild Paras runs out of the darkness. It swings its tiny arms at Payton. Sneasel turns around and punches it in the face. Paras soars away)

(Malika and Natalie are glaring at Payton. Zane however is oblivious to the ill nature)

Zane: Wow! You’re right! You totally could! Good eye, Payton!

Payton: … (raises an eyebrow at Zane) … Uh huh…

(Payton tries to break Zane’s happy smile. She glares at him… scowls… leers… even intensely squints. Nothing breaks his smile. She looks a tad disturbed)

Payton: … Anyway, ...I’m gonna find someone better to annoy, like Amber or Matteo or a random stranger who will stab me to death, anything's better than whatever good-vibe energy this guy's emmiting. (gestures to Zane)

(Payton walks off. Zane’s eyes light up … not literally. He smiles widely after Payton)

Zane: “Someone better to annoy” … Ooooh! You think she’s seeing someone? Maybe... ROMANTICALLY!?

Natalie: What?

Zane: "Someone better to annoy". That could be, like, codeword for a makeout session … or a DATE! Is Payton already getting action with someone in the game?! She mentioned Amber and Matteo! That’s SO cool! I gotta find out!

(Zane runs after Payton. Malika and Natalie don’t bother trying to stop him. Malika and Natalie look back at the fossils in the wall)

Malika: Now how to get them out…

Natalie: Does your Shroomish know Leech Seed?

Malika: Uh. Yeah. Why?

(Natalie picks up Malika’s Shroomish and holds it up to the fossils. She gently sways the Shroomish)

Natalie: Leech Seed, please.

(The Shroomish shoots seeds into the rocks, they lightly bury into them. The vines slowly grow out, pushing the rocks with them. Natalie smiles)

Malika: … SMART.

---> Malika: Natalie seriously shouldn’t underestimate herself, ya know? I think she needs a huge confidence booster. Bug Types can TOO be tough; just ask Cutiefly, and not because it has the word ‘cute’ in its name. Hehe… And HEY! Hey! If Natalie and I end up having to fight each other in an Elimination Battle, I want her to give everything she has at me. She has real potential, I can feel it... like a supportive fist in the face. Nothing but love, ya know?


(Molly and Joey have ventured to the lower levels. They’re currently shielding themselves from a Zubat swarm, cowering behind two rocks)

Molly: We shouldn’t have come down here. It’s too dark!

Joey: Tell me about it!

Molly: (literally) Well we’re hiding from Zubats-

Joey: -Not literally, Ms. Mom Lady.

(A bright light slowly emits from offscreen. The Zubats flee away from it. An Ekans wiggles from the direction of the light. Axel’s Ekans)

(Axel waltzes by already holding a fossil. Something's strange about his presence down here. There's light emitting from him. His… His skin is glowing? Not brightly, but enough that it’s VERY noticeable)

Axel: (notices Joey and Molly staring at him) … What?

Molly: … Honey, are you glowing?

Axel: I stole some of Matteo's moisterizer this morning. Expensive stuff.

Molly: No, I mean... LITERALLY glowing, dear.

Axel: (beat) Yeah.

Molly: … Well, be safe about that…

---> Axel: … Who said I was in here to give an explanation?

(Suddenly, a Pokemon pokes Axel’s leg. He looks down. It’s a CLEFAIRY. It’s merely skipping around Axel. Axel is creeped out by it)

Axel: By far the first and the worst lapdance I’ve ever received.

Joey: What’s a lap dance?-


(More Clefairy indeed do show up. They all start doing a merry dance around the glowing Axel. He looks confused)

Axel: Am I about to die or something?

Molly: No, dear. Those are Clefairy! They must think you’re some kind of Moon Stone! Look at that happy dance!

Axel: Oh… What type are they?

Joey: CleFAIRY.

Axel: Yeah, walked into that one.

Molly: FAIRIES!! (Molly pulls out a Pokeball giddily)

Axel: Fairies are weak to… (Axel grins maliciously) Hey Clefairy!

(The Clefairies stop mid dance and looks at Axel)

Axel: …

(Axel snaps his fingers. Ekans crawls up his leg and into his hands in a heartbeat)

Clefairys: …

Axel: … (Ekan’s shows off his fangs, which retract out like razors. Venom drips off of them) … Poison type.


(The Clefairies all scream and start running like heck, but cutely run into each other and sob uncontrollably. The sobbing part is cute to masochists. They grab a hold of the nearest object to bury their faces into. Axel laughs as he walks away)

---> Axel: Fairy type Pokemon are dumb. They’re just overrated Normal Types that do nothing but float around wearing flowers and being ridiculously cute and likeable and making me want one. It’s unnerving.

(One Clefairy clings to Molly’s leg and silently whimpers. Molly reaches down and picks it up, cradling it like a child)

Molly: Ohhhhh. You poor, sweet, baby. Shhh. Shhh. I’ll protect you. (The Clefairy hugs Molly back, feeling instantly safer)

Joey: And she means that from the bottom of her heart- I mean spine. (smiles)

(The Clefairy warmly welcomes the embrace of a Pokeball opened by Molly. A flash of red light. Captured and adored)

---> Molly: (holding a Clefairy) I’m gonna give this little cutie to my son back home. He’d be delighted to teach you all of his nifty trainer tricks. (The Clefairy hugs Molly)


(Alan is walking through the cave. He and his Murkrow are being extra careful of encountering any Rock Types. Murkrow is a flying type)

(Alan suddenly hears the sound of pummeling behind him. It's a very distinctive sound that somehow Alan can easily recognize??? He turns around)

Alan: Who’s there?

Amber: Your friendly neighborhood ranch gal, Sightless Stickler.

(Amber is surrounded by Geodude. They’ve all been beaten by her Vulpix. They worked together to take them all out. Even WITH the type disadvantage. Nice one)

Alan: Friendly?

Amber: (grumbles) Kay then. Just “neighborhood ranch gal”. Sheesh.

(Murkrow gives Alan a look. Alan doesn’t notice, but Murkrow communicates by adjusting its grip on his arm. Amber walks off)

Alan: If I had invited her to work with us, we could both get done in by Rock Types.

(Alan is unaware of the fact that Amber just smoked a bunch of Geodude)

---> Amber: What did I ever do to that guy? I was even considering asking him to join the alliance! … Well, I have to MAKE the alliance first before anyone can JOIN it… (Amber grumbles) Why is it so hard to get anybody to work with me? The Tauros back on the ranch had no problem listenin to me. Just one good tackle and they listen. … I guess I could try that on people. (ponders)


(Payton is pulling a fossil out of the wall. She yanks hard, stumbling back and almost hitting her Sneasel who is breathing icy air around her. Payton walks over to the fossil again. She sees a big rock next to it. If she can move it, maybe the fossil will be released)

(Payton uses all of the minimal strength welled up in her tiny body. She pushes the rock away. Behind it is Zane leaning against a wall. Payton screams and falls backward)

Zane: So who is it?

Payton: SATAN!?!?!

Zane: (steps out from the little nook he was hiding in) Soooooo who are you seeing?... And why is it so cold in here?

Payton: The frigid air keeps the wild Pokemon away… But clearly not the wildest. (leers at Zane) What do you want?

Zane: (bouncing in place) I just wanna know who you’re seeing. You said you had “better people” to annoy. Uh huh.

Payton: … What? I’m not seeing anyone. “Better people” isn’t me talking highly of others, it’s me talking down about you. Arceus, why are you so stupid? (cuts him off) Rhetorical, don't answer that. I'm content with assuming you were dropped.

Zane: Oh… My bad.

Payton: Yeah. You are. Anyway. (Payton tries pulling the fossil out again. Zane keeps going)

Zane: So is there anyone here you DO like?

Payton: I’ll enjoy Chris for a fraction of the moment he spends handing me the million and then I’ll go back to despising literally everyone, if that answers your question.

Zane: You into boys? Girls? I don’t judge. I like both!

---> Payton: Zane’s like an emotional anti-vegan. If it casts a shadow, he has the ability to talk to it for literal hours… and that’s gross.

Payton: I’m non-adolescents. Guess that rules YOU out.

(Zane continues to follow Payton and ask her questions)

---> Payton: He followed me for half an hour, rambling on and on about people he thinks would make good couples in this game! We all signed up for a REALITY SHOW that will ultimately end in prime-minister-esque obligations. … Clearly none of us are fit for any kind of commitment whatsoever.


(Meanwhile, Amber successfully carves out a fossil from a wall. She beams with joy at her discovery)

Amber: YES! Thought the Fire Types wouldn’t fare in the cave, huh?

(Vulpix runs in circles in celebration. Amber grins in delight as she grasps the fossil… only to feel it stuck)

Amber: Huh?

(Amber yanks on the fossil again… then she notices another pair of hands grabbing it from the other side of the wall she dug it out of)

Amber: Yer KIDDIN!

??????: If that’s a wild Pokemon grabbing my fossil I WILL make Jangmo-o learn Crunch.

(Amber and Ryuma grabbed the SAME fossil. Ryuma bursts through the thin rock wall still grabbing onto Amber’s fossil. Amber tries yanking it away, but both have the same one)

Amber: …

Ryuma: …

Amber: … If ya let go, we can delegate.

Ryuma: By what? Ripping it in half. You’re just gonna run off with it.

Amber: … I hate bein transparent.

(Amber and Ryuma start fighting over the fossil. Their Pokemon just watch. Jangmo-o and Vulpix bark commands at their trainers)

---> Amber: And to think I was going to accept him into my alliance! Well sucks for him, we're full! ...

(Amber and Ryuma are wrestling for the fossil. They’re yanking it back and forth like tug-o-war)

Amber: LET. GO!

Ryuma: YOU let go! I grabbed it first!

Amber: You know what? I’m just gonna take it and revive it whether you agree or not.

Ryuma: I was already on my way to doing that!

Amber: Try and stop me!

(The two hilariously keep hold of the fossil as they walk in unison, still pulling on it. They leave for the exit together with one fossil, neither letting go of it)

---> Ryuma: My worst fear today would be to lose the fossil to Amber. That's my WORST fear, because at least I'm ACTUALLY HERE for the challenge.




(On that note... we check on Ross)

=== Diglett’s Cave === (Ross is currently running through Diglett’s Cave on his way to Pewter City for the challenge. He’s running as fast as he can. Suddenly, there’s a loud rumble. Ross skids to a halt)

Ross: What now?

(A herd of Dugtrio pop out of the ground. They all look angry at Ross for the actions of the previous challenge. Some still look bruised due to the competitors)

Ross: B-but … I didn’t HARM any of you!

(The Dugtrio’s advance on the two)

Ross: (nods) I got you all wet. Fair enough. (Ross looks to Buizel) … (smirks) Buizel?

(His Buizel leaps out of his backpack and does a fighting stance. They came this far. They’re not backing down)

(A magnificent battle ensues)




=== Kanto, Route 3 === (Route 3 is a curved grassy trail leading upwards to Mt. Moon. The cast must run down this trail to the base of the hill/mountain where Pewter City lies)

(Grace is already running down the mountain trail. She’s skidding down the grassy hillside while clutching her fossil to her chest. Magnemite is struggling to keep up)

(KABAM. Grace flies forward, having been knocked in the back by something)

(It was a Sandshrew. Matteo’s Sandshrew. Grace’s fossil soars out of her hands and goes airborne. Grace screams)


(Magnemite hovers where it lands and takes the impact. The Magnemite is thrusted into the ground. Grace runs over to it and take the fossil. She places it aside and holds her Magnemite)

Grace: Someone’s begging for a death sentence!

(Magnemite beeps frantically)

Grace: OH, NO! I don’t mean you, buddy! (Magnemite calms down)

(The Sandshrew lands next to their fossil. Grace reacts quickly and swipes her fossil back into her arms before Sandshrew can do anything to it. Grace immediately recognizes whose Pokemon this is)

Grace: MATTEO! Control your Pokemon!

(Matteo arrives, looking downheartidly at his Sandshrew)

Matteo: I didn’t tell him to do that…

Grace: (stands up, holding her Pokemon and her fossil) Quit being sand and start being a ROCK!

Matteo: … But I’m a GROUND type trainer.

(Grace can’t facepalm at the moment, so she takes a mental note to do it later. Grace runs off. Matteo looks at his Sandshrew)

Matteo: .. (points) Bad.

(The Sandshrew snickers evilly. Matteo has a hard time controlling him...)


(Malika and Natalie are running down the mountain, both with a fossil. They find Zane and Payton on their way down)

Natalie: THERE you are, Zane! Glad you could make it.

Zane: (holds up his fossil) Uh huh! Sorry I got sidetracked. I was just explaining the inner workings of what I believe to be all the future ships in this game to be! Just ask Payton!

Payton: His Chris x Bud theory is oddly riveting but other than that, Zane can literally go screw himself, please shut up forever.

---> Payton: This is the part where I’d say how great of an idea it’d be to PRETEND to be friends with those dorks just to get in on their alliance… HOWEVER that still requires human interaction, which is a deal breaker. No thanks.


(Amber and Ryuma are still holding onto the same fossil. They’re tug-o-warring it as they walk out of the cave)

Amber: You can’t keep this up forever, you hafta let go eventually!

Ryuma: I will NEVER let go!

Amber: That’s the first time I’ve ever heard that sentence not used in a romantic context.

Ryuma: This is as un-romantic as it gets! Screw off!

Amber: NO!

(They freaking walk down Route 3, still holding the fossil and not letting the other one have it. Their combined stubbornness physically repels any and all wild Pokemon from coming within 10 yards of them)


(Axel and Alan are walking out of the darkness of the cave with their fossils. Alan brushes past Axel)

Alan: How are you handling the game so far?

Axel: (shrugs) So well I’m practically glowing.

Alan: Hm. Odd comparison but okay.

Axel: The joke is that I’m actually glowing.

Alan: And now the joke is back to me being blind.

---> Alan: Let me just name off all of the blind jokes I can so we don’t have to make that my entire shtick from here on out. (pulls out a list of blind jokes) Alan can't see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch- (Alan goes on)




(Meanwhile with Ross, our plucky trainer who has yet to even start the challenge let alone arrive... )

=== Kanto, Route 2 === (Ross has just emerged from Diglett’s Cave. He’s covered in scars and scratches. His Buizel is too. Both are panting and drenched in sweat)

Ross: (heaves) I… (pant) …. … am … (pant) … I don’t know how to finish the sentence. (gasps)

(Suddenly, a swarm of Butterfree show up. It’s THEIR turn for revenge)

Ross: I didn’t even fight you guys! Come on!

Butterfree Leader: (makes “come at me bro” motions)

Ross: … (sighs) … Buizel?

(Buizel punches its fists together. It’s starting to have fun with this… Again, ANOTHER epic battle)




Chapter Text

REGION TROTTERS: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 3

Alan (DARK), Axel (POISON), Bolin (FLYING), Joey (NORMAL), Ludwig (STEEL),  Matteo (GROUND), Ross (WATER), Ryuma (DRAGON), Zane (GHOST)
Alice (ROCK), Amber (FIRE), Grace (ELECTRIC), Malika (GRASS), Molly (FAIRY), Natalie (BUG), Payton (ICE), Trixie (PSYCHIC)


=== Kanto, Route 3 === (It's a long downwards route where trainers need to carefully make their way down the hill so they don't tumble. It's grassy and spacious. More trainers are running down the mountain trail to reach Pewter City with their fossils in hand)

(Molly and Joey are running together. Molly is cooing over her new Pokemon, Clefairy. It’s bouncing down the trail after her, looking like it/s falling, but gaining serious air as it does so)

Molly: How cute! Interesting fact about Clefairy’s and their evolutions is that their HP stat is-

(Joey stops running. Molly does too)

Molly: Joey? Joey dear, we must keep-

Joey: -Praise be on him.

Molly: Hm?

(Zoom out. Joey is watching… from a distance. On a rock on the hillside… gnawing on an Oran Berry… is a RATTATA)

(Joey has spotted a RATTATA)

Joey: … (tearing up) … M-Molly… help.

Molly: Help how? It’s a Rattata? Isn’t this a good thing for you? You’ve always wanted one-

Joey: N-NO! I … I want it! I want it so bad, but what if it doesn’t like me!? I need to make a good first impression!

Molly: … For the Rattata?

Joey: YES! PLEASE! A bad impression on a Rattata makes it infinite percent more likely to NOT use its full power! It’s science. It’s true. Don’t look it up.

Molly: (looks over at the Rattata. It hasn’t spotted them yet) … … And… how do you suppose we make a GOOD first impression.

Joey: I just need him to see that I’m strong so he’ll know we’re equals!

Molly: … (smiles politely) I think I can help.

(They enact… a PLAN)


(Ludwig and Alice have just exited Mt. Moon. Someone rushes from behind them. They move aside, it's Trixie)

Ludwig: (smiling) Trixie! There you are!

Trixie: (Trixie turns to Ludwig and Alice)Oh! Hi guys! Sorry for bailing on you today. I just wanted to mingle a bit.

Alice: That’s fair. Sift through all the allies you can get. I’ll see you both at the bottom.

(Alice hops onto her Tyrunt’s back who SHREDS downhill at an incredible speed. Nobody’s catching up to her at this rate)

Ludwig: … (turns to Trixie) So, Trixie!-

(Trixie begins running downhill too)

Trixie: Sorry! Gotta run! Want that immunity!

Ludwig: … (sighs)

---> Ludwig: (crosses his arms) I know what’s going on… and it’s WAY too early in the game for this. I’m better than that. I’m fifteen. I should know better than to let my expectations cloud my judgement. I can’t get attached to the idea of anything other than total victory in this competition. As a nerd, I won't get any of that barking up THAT tree. (Ludwig sighs)


(Payton, Zane, Natalie and Malika are all running together. They stop when they notice… a wild herd of RATTATA blocking their way)

Payton: Oh geez. It’s Joey fever dream.

Malika: Let’s just go around them. They won’t bother us.

(A Rattata leaps at Natalie. She yelps and sends out her Metapod. The Rattata bites it, but it does no damage due to its hardened shell)

Natalie: Rattata are actually a lot more capable than you’d think. I’m telling you, all the Route 1, Pokemon people love to pick on… (shakes her head) They’re just untapped potential.

Payton: Yeah, the potential to get annihilated.

(The Rattata all close in. They hiss at the group. Natalie, Malika, Zane and Payton back away)

Natalie: They smell fear.

Payton: They must not smell it a lot. Who fears a Rattata?

Zane: I’m sure some fear can be mixed in with Joey’s respect for them.

Payton: That’s not respect. That’s delusion. Rattata’s suck.

Joey: (far away, offscreen) TAKE THAT BACK!

(The Rattata all look at Payton. They glare at her. She takes a step back. They all bull rush Payton specifically for saying that. She screams and starts running back uphill. The Rattata pursue her

Malika: Zane, don’t go after her.

Zane: But-

Natalie: -Tell us more about your favorite ships.

Zane: (gasps) WELL-

(The three keep running downhill, ignoring Payton’s pleas)

---> Natalie: The Rattata were in a pack. I believe they can take care of themselves. (Oh girl, you’re wrong)


=== Pewter City Streets === (Pewter City is a town built at the base of a steep hill leading to the grand caves of Mt. Moon. The stone streeted city emcompasses a Pokemon Gym, a fossil museum, restoration site, and plenty of small local business that we will never visit or acknowledge)

(The first few to arrive are Alice, Matteo, Natalie, Zane, Malika and Grace. They all see Alice bee-lining for a building. Alice knows where the fossil restoration center is. They all just follow her)

---> Malika: Let’s be real. I’m still gonna try and win this challenge… but Alice is owning this BIG time.

---> Natalie: Alice deserves this challenge.

---> Grace: When are we gonna have a challenge where we gotta fix a car or something?


=== Kanto, Route 3 === (Axel and Alan are on their way down the hillside route. Alan and Axel each are holding a fossil. Axel’s Ekans slithers after him. Alan’s Murkrow is perched on his owner's shoulder)

Alan: So what’s your game plan, Axel? How do you think you’ll get to the end?

Axel: (grumbling. Axel doesn’t like social interaction) Lay low, I guess.

Alan: That’s fair enough. I’m relying on people seeing me not as a threat due to my blindness.

(Axel gasps and stops. He looks over and sees a Nidoran sniffing some grass nearby. It stands at the edge of the hill. Axel stares at it before sprinting at it full force. Nidoran RUNS. Axel's Ekans hastily slithers after him)


Alan: … (thinks Axel is talking to him) … Um… No thank you? … You are a child and generally unpleasant.

(Alan doesn’t hear Axel anymore)

Alan: … Rejections always hurt.


(Joey is still preoccupied with the Rattata. He and Molly are now a couple of yards away from it, positioned directly in its line of sight. The Rattata observes)

(Joey and Molly look like they’re in a Pokemon battle. Her Dedenne is out against Joey’s Bidoof)

Molly: (being overly dramatic) Have at ye, you foul, musky, no good, naughty trainer! I shall defeat you!

Joey: (equally as dramatic) HECK NO! I am the STRONGEST! The BEST! The most WORTHY!

(Joey glances really fast to see if the Rattata is watching. It is. A herd of Rattata chases Payton in the background)

Molly: Dare you say… top percentage?


(Bidoof just waddles over to Dedenne and light bonks it on the nose)

Molly: VILLAIN!!!

(The Dedenne spins dramatically and ends in a perfect FLOP on the grass. Face first)

Molly: That was my level 1000 Dedenne! We beat the Pokemon League only knowing the move SPLASH… and here we are, defeated by a child! … Truly YOU are the destined champion…

Joey: I’m destined for far greater than that!

(Joey looks to the Rattata. It’s fallen asleep)

Joey: …

Molly: ...

Joey: … Okay, now’s the part where we whisper into its ear and make it dream about being MY Rattata-

Molly: -I have a better idea! … Close your eyes… and imagine it yourself… And maybe then, you two will have, um, … a psychic connection!

Joey: … Rest IS a Psychic Move… (Joey closes his eyes and smiles widely)

(Molly takes a Great Ball from Joey’s pocket. She walks over to the Rattata and just boops it with it. Red flash. She hands the Pokeball to Joey)

Molly: Now open…

(Joey looks in his hands. He has a Great Ball. He gasps LOUDLY. He motions for the Pokemon to come out)

Joey: No way.

(The Rattata comes out of Joey’s Pokeball. It’s still napping)

Joey: NO WAY!!!!

(Joey picks up the Rattata. It looks drowsy. It’s rubbing its eyes and looking around as Joey parades it in a circle before holding it high up in the air)

Joey: I. HAVE. A. RATTATA!!!!!!

(Molly and Dedenne begin clapping for Joey. The Clefairy screams)

Molly: Oh, Clefairy. Not in my ear, darling-

(Molly falls backwards as a Nidoran (Male) bounds past her eyes. She falls onto her back. Her Dedenne and Clefairy help her up. Axel is pursuing this Nidoran, ruining the moment)


(The screen pauses on the Nidoran midair as it runs)

Nidoran: (voiceover) Yup. That’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. Well, let me tell you my story…

(Weird voiceover ends)

(Joey is still running in circles with his Rattata. Axel trips over a rock and literally falls downhill with his fossil AND Ekans. Ekans falls down the hill like a slinky. Axel falls down like a rag doll. Nidoran keeps running from Axel who is catching up fast from the fall)


=== Pewter City Fossil Restoration Center === (Inside is a fossil museum. But in the back, there are seventeen tables set up for the trainers to revive their fossils. There are kits for them to do so)

(What’s in those kits you ask? … I dunno. Tiny lil pick axes? Maybe some sciency stuff? Do you honestly think I know how to revive a fossil, I'm still in school. That isn't even what I want to major in. Reviving fossils isn't something you can actually do. Once it becomes possible I'll come back and rewrite this scene and be more accurate, but until then... tiny pickaxes and a stethoscope, I don't know)

(Alice, Matteo, Grace, Natalie, Malika and Zane run in. Their fossils are all intact. They each claim a table and start working on restoring their Pokemon)

(Bolin walks in. Everyone pauses to look at him. He has a day off since he has leader immunity)

Bolin: Oh… Challenge is still happening, hm?

(Bolin walks away. That was weird. People continue working)


(Everyone immediately notices Grace taking metal beams from a cabinet and forming a barrier around her station. She even puts paper on the floor)

Zane: Whatcha up to, Grace?

Grace: Fortifying my area so that lout’s Sandshrew doesn’t commit murder on my fossil.

(They all look to Sandshrew who is currently standing on Alice’s station, holding her fossil over the edge of the table. Caught red handed)

Alice: … (is staring at the Sandshrew) … … … Excuse you.

Matteo: Sandshrew. Bad. Put it down.

(The Sandshrew lets go. The fossil smashes onto the ground. Matteo sighs and shakes his head)

Alice: Perhaps you should just put it in your Pokeball.

(Alice reaches under the table and pulls out another fossil. She grabbed MANY. She nudges Sandshrew off of her table. Matteo puts it in a Pokeball)

Grace: Alice, you brought more than one fossil? Smart girl! Keep it up! (Grace does a half nod at Alice and smirks)

(Alice blushes)

---> Zane: I WOULD ship Grace with everyone in this game, but every shipper universally knows that anyone who’s able to make EVERYONE attracted to them CAN’T be single. (shrugs and smiles)


=== Pewter City Streets === (At the base of the hill, Axel has landed on the side of the road. People pass him and think that he looks straight up dead. Nobody does anything. His Ekans lies at his side. The Nidoran must’ve fallen too cuz it’s also passed out. Axel’s fossil is on his back. It didn’t break)

(Alan merely walks by, not paying attention to Axel… cuz he doesn’t see him. The Murkrow caws, but Alan just keeps walking)

(Axel wakes up and looks around. He sees the Nidoran in front of him. He smiles)

Axel: Well, not the humblest of beginnings but hey, I didn’t have a glamorous one either soooooo-

(Axel pulls out a Pokeball and catches the Nidoran. Flash of red. Axel grins, successful in his capture)

(Axel suddenly feels his leg tingling. He looks behind him. Molly has sprayed Axel’s leg with a Potion, since it looked bruised and sprained. She stands up and walks away with Joey)

Joey: That’s a neat new Pokemon you got there… but it’s no RATTATA!

(Axel picks up his Ekans and limps after them)

---> Axel: Okay, fine. Fairy type’s okay. And I’m only partially saying that because I can readily demolish them. (Axel grins) … But Steel Type sucks no matter what.


=== Pewter City Fossil Restoration Center === (Everyone is still working on reviving their fossil. The first step is to take out all the bones and put them together where they belong)

(Grace hears a thump against the side of her station’s defenses. She peaks over the barrier. Matteo’s Sandshrew is trying to get in)

Grace: Hey! Everyone! Mad Max is loose again! Protect your fossils!

(Alice is moving INCREDIBLY fast. She’s already done assembling the fossil. She has a creature with a long neck and tentacles. It’s only bones, but it’s ready for revival)

Alice: Now to put it in the kiln and voila. Done.

(SMASH. Alice’s fossil is smashed by Sandshrew again. Alice doesn’t look angry… she just looks… heartbroken)

Alice: … I was gonna donate it to the Pokemon Daycare as a therapy Pokemon…

(Sandshrew snickers. He doesn’t care)

Malika: Whaaaaat!? ALICE THAT'S SO CUTE! ... And now... it's not gonna happen... The cute thing isn't gonna happen. (Malika makes an angry face) Awww maaaaan. I don't wanna be THAT person.

(Malika puts her fossil down for a moment and walks over to the Sandshrew and GRABS it. She walks over to Matteo and places Sandshrew roughly onto his table on top of the fossil he's working on, shattering HIS fossil)

Matteo: (lazily) Hey man… What gives?

Malika: Train. Your. Pokemon. Matteo. You have to be harder on your Pokemon, dude! He’s like, getting in EVERYONE’s business. You can’t just let him run wild, okay? He just prevented Alice from donating a DINOSAUR for THERAPY!!! Half of children's books are about dinosaurs, could you imagine one of those sitting with kids during a reading session? (grabs Matteo's collar) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO CUTE!!!

Matteo: (being shaken) Uggghhh!!!

(Malika lets go of Matteo and steps back. She pulls out two Pokeballs. She releases Shroomish and Bounsweet)

Malika: If he gets loose again, I’m sicking my Grass Type on him. I will Leech Seed that sucker to the Distortion World and back, you hear me?

(Natalie, Grace, Alice and Zane all look at Malika in awe. They’ve never seen her like this… Granted, they’ve only known her for a few days)

(Malika marches back to her station. She sits down with her pile of bones)

Malika: Now… (looks at a bone she’s holding) What’s this supposed to be?

(Malika squints at the bone she’s holding. She then looks at Natalie’s Anorith. It’s waddling around on the table, minding its own business. Malika holds her bone near Anorith and compares it. Of course! Malika’s bone matches the shape of Anorith’s claw! She has a CLAW fossil! It’s an Anorith!)

Malika: … Oh YES! Thank you Natalie! … And Alice and Angie and anyone else who contributed to bringin your little buddy into this world!

Natalie: Hm? What’s going on?

Malika: I have a CLAW fossil! And I have the LIVING fossil right in front of me for reference! I’m gonna NAIL this challenge!

(Malika gets to work upon discovering her major advantage)


(Joey, Trixie, Ludwig, Molly, Alan and Axel rush into the museum)

(Slowly stomping in behind them is Amber and Ryuma, still clutching the same fossil. They put it on the same table and start working on reviving it. They nudge and hip check each other out of the way, trying to be the one that restores and claims it first)

Amber: This has gone far enough!

Ryuma: I agree. You should leave and get your own fossil.

Amber: This IS my fossil! Get lost!

Ryuma: I. Don’t. Quit.

Amber: Be chivalrous and let go!

Ryuma: No.

Amber: Be weak and let go.

Ryuma: No.

Amber: Charitable? Dumb? Just let go!

Ryuma: No!

Amber: This is MY fossil!

Ryuma: You wish it was.

Amber: I know it is!

Grace: (leans over her barrier) Taking credit for other people’s work again, Amber? For shame. (snickers)

Amber: Stay out of this!

Ryuma: Stay involved, Grace! It distracts her!

(Grace gives Ryuma a thumbs up. Amber growls in fury)


(Payton walks in with bite marks all over her body. She looks satisfied with herself. She struts past Joey)

Payton: Hey kid. If you’re still looking for a sucky Pokemon, I just froze twelve Rattata on Route 3.

(Joey blows a raspberry at Payton)




=== Pewter City Streets === (Ross rushes to Pewter City with Buizel. They look like they’re having a hard time moving. Must’ve gotten hit with a lot of different status effects from the Butterfree storm)

Ross: Okay… Now we’re ready to-

(Suddenly, a gang of Rattata that look freezing cold and angry approach)


(Another epic battle ensues)




=== Pewter City Fossil Restoration Center === (Everyone is still working on reviving their fossil. The first step is to take out all the bones and put them together where they belong. The trainers are all competing to see who can win first. It’s by far coming down to Alice and Malika. Matteo had to start over and he’s moving pretty slow. Alice gave him one of her extra fossils)

(Sandshrew got loose again. He rubs his paws together to find another fossil to smash. He’s tackled by Shroomish. Sandshrew starts pummeling it)

(Alan’s Murkrow is majorly helping him to sort through the bones... he kind of has to)

(Payton is moving rather fast, blocking everyone out so she can focus)

(Zane built a mosaic of Gastly out of the bones he has. Gastly is pleased)

(Joey’s Rattata is sleeping on the table. Joey is playing with the bones, making them make sound effects and acting as people)

Joey: (holding a small bone near Rattata and wiggling it) Oh NOOO. It’s a giant Rattata! Auuggghhh!!!

(Rattata yawns)


(Amber and Ryuma are still brawling for the spot of reviving their fossil. Ryuma feels a tug on his leg. He looks down)

(Molly’s Clefairy is trying to do a dance around him. It’s dizzily spinning. Ryuma raises an eyebrow… but Jangmo-o, Ryuma’s Pokemon, has a different reaction)

(Scared of Fairy Type, Jangmo-o runs in tears in the opposite direction. It runs out of the building)

Ryuma: JANGMO-O!!!

Amber: WOW! Your Pokemon just left the building. Someone should let go of this fossil and go get em, I don't know.

(Ryuma growls and points at Amber)

Ryuma: It’s still MY fossil! Don’t you dare!

(Ryuma runs off to help his Jangmo-o calm down. Amber giggles and begins working on the fossil alone, finally taking the credit)

---> Amber: Oh come on, he would of done the same.

---> Ryuma: Jangmo-o just got a little spooked. I can’t imagine Amber’s Pokemon being scared like that. With AMBER as an owner, you’d probably have to build an immunity to fear.


????? and ??????: DONE!!!

(Everyone looks over at Malika and Alice. They both just put their put-together fossils in the kiln. When it’s done, the fossil will be revived)

(It’s a countdown… whoever’s kiln goes off first will reveal who truly put theirs in first. Malika and Alice smile at one another, but with powerful game faces, waiting to see who wins it first)

(Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Rick. Rock. Rick. Rock. Rick. Astley. Tick. Tock)


(Malika’s opens first and reveals a fully revived ANORITH. Alice’s then goes off and reveals a fully revived TIRTOUGA)

Chris: (appearing from literal nowhere) AND THE WINNER OF LEADER IMMUNITY THIS WEEK IS MALIKA! Malika! You are safe for today AND tomorrow’s challenge! Bolin. Your super immunity ends after today’s ceremony.

(Bolin is present. He shrugs)

Chris: Congrats!

(Malika fairly shakes hands with Alice. Natalie hugs her friend, and Bounsweet hops into Malika’s arms. Shroomish, battered from Sandshrew, rolls to Malika’s feet. Zane bear hugs Alice, Malika and Natalie)

---> Malika: YYYYYESSSSS!!!! 

---> Alice: After giving a lecture to Matteo, I can't even be upset that Malika won over me.

Chris: And now… we shall take our elimination ceremony to a more… appropriate locatio-

(Ross runs into the museum. He’s covered in bruises, scratches and has tiny twigs hanging off of his clothes)

Ross: I’m here! I’m here! I’m not… Oh crud, I missed the challenge didn't I?

Chris: Roooossss… Buddy… Can’t say I’m surprised.

Ross: … Why? Because you messed with my map? (Ross holds up his map, glaring at Chris) Did YOU do this?

Chris: Dude, if I wanted you to fail that badly, I would have declined your application. I didn’t do anything.

Ross: (looks at his map) Then… who did this?

(Everyone in the room looks at one another, disturbed by the implication that one of THEM messed with Ross' map)

(Ryuma runs in behind Ross, carrying his Jangmo-o)

Ryuma: I’m here!

Ross: OH THANK GOODNESS I’m not the only one who wasn’t here for the entire challenge. PHEW!

Ryuma: Oh no. I was.

Ross: … Crud…

(The cast disperses before the ceremony can take place)


=== Girl’s Trailer === (Everyone is congratulating Malika on her challenge win. Trixie fist bumps her)

Trixie: That’s my bunkmate! Winning challenges!

Amber: (to Alice) Don’t you feel cheated? I mean, if Matteo hadn’t smashed your fossil, you would’ve-

Alice: -Technically one of my fossils still contributed to today’s victory.

(They look at Natalie’s Anorith that is running in circles while Malika squees over how cute it is. Everyone is laughing)

Alice: That’s enough for me. Besides. I know I’m safe today.

Amber: Haha! Me too… (nervously) M-me too…

Alice: … Really? Because you don’t sound convinced, and based on your performance today, I wouldn't blame you-

Amber: -I SAID 'ME TOO'!

(Alice puts her hands up defensively and scurries away. Amber doesn’t drop her clearly nervous half frown)


=== Pewter City Streets === (It's a quiet but progressive town. Payton is walking through Pewter City. It’s getting late and she’s just taking in the evening air. Zane stops her on the sidewalk)


(Payton groans in annoyance. Zane hands her a piece of paper)

Payton: What?

Zane: It’s a shipping wall! I know you don’t like me talking so I’ll just let that talk for me! BYE!

(Zane runs off. Payton looks at the shipping chart)

---> Payton: (reading it attentively) … Wow… Some of these are juicy… (Payton stops) This could potentially be a chance for Zane and I to connect over the mutual well-beings of our friends and their love lifes.... (Payton tucks the shipping chart away) The punch line is that that is absolutely NOT going to be what happens, and I will no doubt eventually use this list for nothing less than evil.


=== Boy’s Trailer === (Axel is sitting down with his Ekans. His new Nidoran is just now meeting Ekans. The Nidoran blinks. The Ekans blinks. The two start wrestling a pause later. Axel is pleased)

(Matteo looks a little bummed. He’s sitting on his bed, lying on his back. Bolin approaches)

Bolin: What’s wrong?

Matteo: My Sandshrew won’t obey me… He does his own thing…

Bolin: Your Pokemon is strong, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Matteo: But he breaks rules, man.

Bolin: I didn’t play “fair” yesterday, and I won. Don’t be so worried about rules.

Alan: (raises a hand, lying in his own bed) I disagree.

(Bolin walks off. Matteo just shakes his head. Nobody inquires Alan's concerns any further. He doesn't mind. He WANTS to be understimated after all... )

---> Alan: (wagging out a cigarette) Matteo has a lack of drive and his Pokemon lack control. ... I don't have any advice to offer on the subject. Just an observation.


=== Boy’s Bathroom === (Ross and Ryuma are in the bathroom together. Both are sharing cans of lemonade. Ross is leaning against the wall next to the urinal)

(The urinal is still a shrine. But now it’s commemorating Rattatas instead of memes. It has pictures of Rattata and a little Rattata plushie inside)

Ross: You really think YOU’RE gonna go home today?

Ryuma: I think I’m on the chopping block. Amber managed to screw me over today. She claimed my fossil…. OUR fossil, really.

Ross: At least you know who screwed you over. My map got messed with. Someone sent me on the wrong path.

Ryuma: Really? Dude. You should make Chris do something about that.

Ross: He won’t listen. He said my idea to stay behind was dumb anyway. … (looks pained) You think Chris did it?

Ryuma: He can’t mess with the game like that. He can only insult us and tell us what to do… But to be fair, it WAS kind of dumb to stay behind and hike like that.

Ross: (sighs) … Well, here’s to losing.

(Ryuma and Ross clink lemonades and drink)





=== Pewter City, Pokemon Gym === (The gym has two sets of bleachers on boths sides, and a battlefield in the center. The battlefield is filled with rocks and boulders)

(The cast sits in the bleachers as Brock, Bud and Chris stand before them)

Chris: Malika is the winner of Leader Immunity. However, the rest of you are up for grabs. Those of you who are safe, you can relax. Those people are...

(Chris slowly looks to Bud)

Bud: ... Keep lookin at me expectin me to remember a single one of their names, I'm a patient man, but not a smart one.

Chris: Ooookay. Safe people are... Bolin… Alice … Natalie … Molly … Trixie … Ludwig … Payton … Zane … Grace… Matteo … Joey … Alan … and Axel.

(All of them receive their poffins and feed them to their Pokemon. Axel’s Nidoran nervously nibbles it. Trixie’s Espurr stares at it for a solid minute for eating it in half a second. Gastly engulfs it into its body)

Chris: And then there were three…

(Amber. Ryuma. Ross)

Chris: And when we’re down to three, you all know the drill… (Chris does a dramatic pose again) IT’S NARROWING TIME! Bring this three down to TWO!


(The judges, Bud, Chris and Brock speak to the bottom three)

Brock: Amber… the way you behaved today was very unsportsmanlike and not the kind of attitude any of us see in a future champion…

Amber: Um. I’m pretty sure one of your earliest champions was Blue, who was, correct me if I’m wrong, infamous for his attitude.

Chris: Yeah, well at least he WINS stuff.

(Amber is taken aback by that comment. Ouch. Ryuma laughs at this)

Matteo: It’s also not cool to speak ill of the dead, bruh.

Trixie: Blue’s DEAD?!

Brock: No he’s not. He’s on his honeymoon in Alola.

Malika: ALOLA PRIDE!!!

Matteo: Oh… I’m behind.

Brock: Anyway, Ryuma… (Ryuma looks to Brock) You were on that bandwagon too. … You ultimately let go of the fossil to go help your Pokemon… which is infinitely more than anything Amber has done so far… …

(Amber is sweating. If she has to face off against Ross, she’s going home. No questions asked. Fire vs WATER? No thanks)

Brock: Ross… You’re a strong trainer… and a wise friend… but it seems like you have other goals in this game aside from being champion. You want to be a Pokemon Ranger, and you were willing to sacrifice your chances in this game to make that statement… and you’ve made it loud and clear. While it was unfortunate that someone messed with your map, it was the vulnerability of your choices that made that opening…

(Ross lowers his head. Brock’s right. He prioritized being a Ranger over Champion)

Chris: So the drill goes as such… you three will make your pleas to the judges in the confessional booth.

(Chris turns to all of the current safe contestants)

Chris: And the rest of you can as well. Help your friends in the bottom three, or convince us that your enemies should go. Or both. Try and sway our decisions.

(Everyone looks at one another. They have to do something about Ross, Ryuma and Amber)

---> Payton: Amber and Ryuma both bombed today’s challenge, and unlike Ross, they were actually HERE. The difference being that Ryuma ran after his Pokemon. Amber probably wouldn’t for her own, based on her track record. She’s petty and has have victory practically handed to her twice in a row. Send witch #2 home. Only room for one.

---> Joey: Ummm… … Ross should stay. He’s travelled farther in Kanto than I have Sinnoh. And he’s only been here for a few days! … That’s like … a few days!

---> Molly: (shaking her head) This part of the game isn’t something I’ll adapt to easily. I can’t send any home… (smiles) Ross should stay. Perhaps he’ll learn his lesson and want to sleep in the same trailer with the rest of us. Imagine if all his energy was focused into the game rather than travelling. I believe in him.

---> Grace: Amber should go home. She caught a Butterfree yesterday because I led them to her, and she found a fossil today because she practically stole Ryuma’s. She’d be a lousy champion. Kick her out.

---> Ludwig: In all fairness… Ryuma’s Jangmo-o ran from Clefairy because of its type disadvantage. I’ve never seen Amber’s Pokemon run from anything, especially any disadvantages. … In a way… perhaps Amber’s Pokemon are better trained than Ryuma’s. (shrugs) … Just a thought.

---> Trixie: I think Ryuma knows better than to indulge Amber’s antics. I feel like both of them are to blame… But at the end of the day, Amber passed unfairly, and shouldn’t continue in this game.

---> Alan: This may come as a surprise… but Amber isn’t the lesser trainer. The fact that she so willingly goes up against Ryuma’s Dragon Type and hasn’t backed down from any overpowering forces goes to show how advantageous her training is. Ryuma, on the other hand, needs to train Jangmo-o more. The creature ran in fear of a disadvantage. For a dragon to do that… (shakes his head) Ryuma has more to learn. Ross also clearly takes this game less seriously than Angie. He’d make a great Pokemon Ranger… but he doesn’t belong here.

---> Alice: Amber and Ryuma’s fossil survived their clash. Can I vote for the fossil to win? … (she smiles) Joking… But to candidly speak, I believe Ross should’ve evaluated his decision to stay behind and hike to each challenge. That’s asking to be exploited.

---> Zane: Ross should stay so he can bunk with me again! I miss my bunkmate! (smiles)

---> Matteo: Uh… … (shrugs) … … He stayed behind every challenge… … That’s just a lot of extra work, man … … … Sorry, Ross. You tripped up, dude.

---> Malika: Amber scares me. I don’t know if it’s a “I respect you” fear or a “you’re gonna light me on fire for fun” kinda fear. … … … Does that make sense?

---> Bolin: Water, Dragon, and Fire are all powerful types. They should all be ashamed that they’re in this bind… It’s most shameful for Ryuma. Dragon Type should do better than this.

---> Natalie: If you ask me, Amber’s been the most unfair. She hasn’t actively won any challenge by herself yet. That’s worse than trying and failing, which I’ve done.

---> Axel: (bored) I dunno. Ryuma. (shrugs) He’s supposed to be the big bad dragon tamer. His own Pokemon wussed out.

---> Ross: It’ll be hard for me to actively defend myself. I’ll admit, I should have focused more on the game… I just REALLY want to be a Pokemon Ranger. My “stupid” plan to hike is a testament to that. I have devotion. And I successfully hiked yesterday. THAT itself speaks volume about my capabilities.

---> Amber: Ryuma grabbed my fossil. What was I supposed to do, just hand it over to him? That’s not what a Champion does! … (pause) … Brock roasted me pretty hard today… (Amber clenches her fists) I am NOT letting myself get dragged down again. If I stay, I’m PROVIN it by sweeping the rest of the competition. Let’s not forget I wiped out some Geodude in the cave today. I don’t buckle under weaknesses. What’s your excuse, Ryuma?

---> Ryuma: Amber is a cheapskate who can’t cut her own losses. She’s a bully and an incompetent player. She deserves to go. It’s disappointing when ANYBODY that hot turns out to be that crazy. But alas, hotness isn’t something champions need. Bye, Amber.


(Input Submitted. Chris, Brock and Bud approach the cast after reviewing them)

Brock: Confessionals have been reviewed. Lots of good points. Ryuma. You’re a very strong trainer, but your Pokemon didn’t reflect that upon encountering a core weakness.

Bud: Amber, you fought off Geodude in Mt. Moon, something that should have been a handicap for you due to type disadvantage. However, your behavior today was… questionable from a sane person’s standpoint. I have no opinion.

Chris: Ross. You clearly prioritize being a Pokemon Ranger over being Pokemon Champion… You’re clearly capable of being a Ranger, but should we waste time finding out if you’re champion material if you’re this distracted?

(Chris, Bud and Brock nod)

Brock: We have decided to give the final poffin to…

(Amber is hugging her Vulpix. It’s sturdy and able to endure her powerful hugs)

(Ryuma is gently petting Jangmo-o, who is blissfully unaware of their situation)

(Ross and Buizel nod at one another, ready to accept any outcome)




Brock: … Amber. (Brock tosses Amber the poffin) You’re safe.

(Amber is tossed a poffin. She sits down and sighs in relief. Ross and Ryuma look at one another)

---> Ryuma: I dunno how relevant plot armor is in these shows… (looks genuinely mad) But can my excuse to stay in the game be to destroy Amber?

Chris: Ross… Ryuma… Lucky you. You two get the GYM BATTLEFIELD for this. The rules are simple. Pick one of your Pokemon to battle and let’s have at it! Loser goes home… Ready? BEGIN!




=== ELIMINATION BATTLE === (DRAGON (Ryuma) vs WATER (Ross) Begin!)

(Ross and Ryuma move to opposite sides of the battlefield. The craggy boulders make up this zone. It’s rock-themed)

Chris: And every time we have an elimination battle inside of a gym, be ready for the advantage and disadvantages that specific gym has to offer.



(Aqua Jet always goes first. Buizel dashes across the field and harshly strikes Jangmo-o with a bulleted stream of water. Jangmo-o flies back but lands on its feet)

Ryuma: Walk it off, Jangmo-o! Use Take Down!

(Jangmo-o strides forward and catches Buizel while it’s still running. With tremendous force, the Buizel is smashed into a boulder. The boulder explodes and the audience if trainers cheer and gasp)

(The dust settles, showing Buizel and Jangmo-o still up and standing)

Ross: Buizel! Use SWIFT!

(Buizel shoots shiny stars out that soar at Jangmo-o. Jangmo-o is blasted and soars backwards, lying at the feet of its trainer. Jangmo-o gets up. Ryuma gets an idea)

(Ryuma gets down and whispers into Jangmo-o’s ears. Jangmo-o nods and strides forward confidently)

Ross: Buizel, Quick attack! Then Aqua Jet!

(Buizel strikes Jangmo-o with an armada of attacks. It runs forward and kicks Jangmo-o backwards soaring past Ryuma and hitting a rock. Then Buizel hits them with a cascade of water, demolishing the rock)

(The audience cringes at Ryuma’s beatdown. It looks like Ross is gonna win this)

Malika: Well. That’s that. The big dragon boy is going home.

Alan: It’s not over.

Ludwig: Yeah. Ryuma looks oddly calm.

(Ryuma IS oddly calm. He smirks at Ross, who looks unsettled by his confidence)

Ross: Aren’t you gonna fight back?

Ryuma: Don’t have to. You did it for me. JANGMO-O. FINISH BIDE!

(Ross’ expressions drops. Jangmo-o’s been using BIDE… Which means all damage done to it will be doubled in exchange back at its attacker)

Ross: NO!

(Jangmo-o rushes at Buizel and strikes it HARD. The damage taken is the damage double done. Buizel crashed into a rock and slumps onto the ground… Buizel’s down)


Bud: (walks out onto the field. Buizel is K.O.d) THE WINNER IS RYUMA!

(Ryuma nods and picks up his Jangmo-o. Jangmo-o lookes pleased. Ross is kneeling over his Buizel, heartbroken at his loss. Ryuma walks over and kneels next to Ross, feeling guilty for just now sending a friend home)

(ROSS vs RYUMA. Battle Over)


(Ross is joined by a few more trainers. Namely Natalie, Matteo, Ludwig and Zane)

Matteo: You alright, man?

Ross: … I just lost… I can’t be the champion… I gave it up to train more as a Pokemon Ranger…

Zane: So? That just makes you a devoted Ranger. So what if you’re not champion? Lots of people don’t get to be champion.

Matteo: You were willing to hike across the region to get to every challenge. That’s... gutsy, but it’s also a LOT of work. (chuckles) I can’t imagine doing that much walking.

Ludwig: So someone sabotaged you. You still GOT here. There was an extent to which they could shake you off… and whoever did this to you MUST have been surprised by that. I know we all are.

Natalie: You’re a Pokemon Ranger, Ross. I’ve never met anyone more qualified.

Ross: (smiles) … Yeaaaaaaah. Being a champion isn’t something I particularly WANT. You stand around and battle all day for the most part. I can’t stand still for that long.

(Everyone laughs)

Ross: Well.. Time to go back home. I think I’ll walk.

Ludwig: But… don’t you live in Sinnoh? That’s an ocean away.

Ross: (chuckles) I’ll manage.

(Ross disappears through the light of the exit door. He’s been officially eliminated)

(Farewell Ross)




=== Pewter City Streets === (Matteo is taking a walk by himself while his Sandshrew wrecks havoc on anything it can get its paws on. Honestly, who knows where his Sandshrew is? Matteo is stopped by Payton sitting on a bench in a small grassy park in the center of Pewter City)

Payton: Hey you.

(Matteo keeps walking)

Payton: HEY! (Payton picks up a small rock and chucks it at Matteo. It bounces off his back lightly. He turns) What gives? You ignoring me?!

(Matteo turns around and sees Payton. He fidgets with his ear before approaching her)

Matteo: Sorry. Hearing aid was off. (Matteo turns his hearing aid back on) I like to go for quiet walks. Relaxing, ya?

Payton: You are too chill for your own good… Do you need help TRAINING your Pokemon?

Matteo: … (points to himself) Me?

Payton: We're mid conversation. It's established already that I'm talking to YOU.

Matteo: … I’m sorry, but … aren’t you… … scary?

Payton: (rolls her eyes) Do you need help TRAINING your own Pokemon or not?

Matteo: … Sandshrew? Nah, he doesn’t mean any harm. He just-

Payton: -Literally sabotaged a handful of people today just for fun. I have no issues against sabotage, but it’s a bad look for you, okay?

Matteo: … (bounces his head back and forth) He does his own thing. I can’t control that.

Payton: (stands up and walks to Matteo) Well you should. I’m gonna help you train your Sandshrew before some rich person gets all antsy and tries to call in and get it euthanized.

Matteo: Can people do that?

Payton: Rich people have nothing better to do than make lasting decisions for poor people out of sheer annoyance, but that's not the point. Your Pokemon sucks and it needs to stop sucking and I'm offering to help.

(Payton pats Matteo on the back and keeps walking with him)

Matteo: But… you’re Ice Type. Why would you be helping me?

Payton: Cuz I’m a nice person with no moral ambiguity. Let’s go.

---> Payton: (filing her nails) Matteo’s a big idiot. He has no coordination and no control over his Pokemon. I could EASILY wipe him out if I wanted to. He’s the IDEAL candidate to have as my final match in the finale… (grins) See where I’m going with this? (Payton crosses her arms) I’m taking Matteo to the finale so I can turn that million dollar match into cakewalk. And if I’m the one teaching his Pokemon discipline, then I’m ALSO the one who will know all of his secrets. (keeps filing her nails) Easy win for me.


(Ryuma is sitting down on the steps of the boy’s trailer. His Jangmo-O is sitting underneath the stairs. Ryuma is looking contemplative... He’s approached by Amber of all people)

Ryuma: Oh great, what do you want?

Amber: I just wanted to say that… I thought a lot about what Brock said… and how my behavior isn’t “champion” material… and that I’m sorry for the way I acted today.

Ryuma: Yeah right. You’re just trying to get me to lower my guard so you can do it again.

Amber: What would I have to gain from lyin?!

Ryuma: (eyes widening) Me lowering my guard, I just said that.

Amber: PFFT. It's not like I couldn't take you with your guard up, pal. You're big, but not a very big THREAT.

(Ryuma squints at Amber)

Amber: … … … (crosses her arms) Okay, fine. I’m just tryn’a not be a sore winner.

Ryuma: You were a loser today.

Amber: Well so were you!

Ryuma: (scoffs) You’ll have to do a lot better than that if you wanna make up for what you did to Ross.

Amber: … Time out, feller. What did I do to Ross?

Ryuma: YOU screwed up his map, didn’t you? You’re the only one here who has a track record of being unfair from the get-go, AND he’s got a major type advantage against you. You wanted to eliminate that threat.

Amber: PARDON?!!?

Ryuma: You’re clearly a fan of boots, cowgirl. So start wearing them.

Amber: … What?

Ryuma: … I’m making a play on words for the phrase “if the boot fits, wear it”.

Amber: Oh. That’s clever.

Ryuma: Thanks.

Amber: … But I didn’t do it!

Ryuma: Yeah, right. (Ryuma reenters the boy’s trailer, leaving Amber alone)

Amber: … (grunts and walks off)

---> Amber: My plan to eliminate Ross was to make an alliance and exclude him from it. Grace, Ryuma and I. Sure I wanted Ross gone… but clearly, someone beat me to it…. And in a real sucker-punch kinda way. (shakes her head) Sheesh.


=== Girl’s Trailer === (Payton is reading Zane’s shipping wall. She’s oddly interested. Trixie is making her bed. Nobody else is there)

Payton: (whispering) … Amber with RYUMA? No way. He’s the second hottest guy here. Why does SHE get paired with him?

Trixie: (looks over at Paytob) Who’s the hottest?

Payton: Zane has an entire system for attractiveness, and he’s ranked everyone.

Trixie: Oooh! Read them!

Payton: He’s an optimist… He rated everyone a 10.

Trixie: That’s so Zane. … (pauses) So who do YOU think is the hottest guy here?

Payton: Nice try, Pixel Puff. We’re not bonding over boys.

Trixie: Okay, then just answer the question in a completely unbiased manner. Just curious.

Payton: CLEARLY Matteo is the hottest, too bad he’s dimmer than a lightbulb on strike. The ugliest is Bolin.

Trixie: At least say “unattractive”. “Ugly” is a bit harsh.

Payton: Tomatoes. Tomatos. Potatoes. Potatos. Shut up. Shoot ip. Same thing.

---> Trixie: Payton may be aggravating, but I think I can chip through her shell eventually. Nobody’s that conceited for that long.

Payton: Okay, another “unnatractive” boy in this game… hands down, Ludwig. (gags) I’m not into scrawny nerds.

Trixie: Ludwig’s endearing.

Payton: I didn’t say he wasn’t endearing, I just said he’s ugly. But I’ll cut him some slack. (Payton pauses) ... Wait a minute, how old is he?

Trixie: He’s fifteen.

Payton: What!? I thought he was at LEAST eighteen! He's TALL for his age... (Payton makes a face) Wow, imagine when he actually hits puberty.

Trixie: He's 15, boys hit puberty by then.

Payton: I am WELL aware; did I ask?

---> Payton: Nothing gets boy’s into bigger fusses than girls ranking them in hotness. Boys just aren’t used to being stared at the way girls are… (pause) … (Payton smirks) Heeeey… That gives me an idea. (Payton pulls a sticky note out of her pocket and scribbles on it) I’ll save that one for later. (she tucks in into her pocket again) Thanks, Zane.


=== Kanto, Route 3 === (The sun is going down. Spinarak are coming out, and Ledyba are going away. Natalie and Malika are training together. Their Pokemon are fighting one another for fun)

(Shroomish gets taken down by Metapod. Malika sends out her Bounsweet next to fight)

Malika: Nice job, Shroomish! Go Bounsweet!

(Bounsweet and Metapod attack each other… On friendly terms so like… endearingly wailing on one another… with no arms. It’s hilarious)

Natalie: Thanks for standing up to Matteo’s Sandshrew today. What a bully!

Malika: Ah, you always talk about how Bug’s the weakest. You’re wrong, sister. GRASS is. We have WAY more weaknesses. Fire. Ice. Poison. Flying-

(Metapod takes Bounsweet down)

Malika: Heck, even BUG. When I have an opportunity to look strong, I’ll take it. (shrugs and smiles) Though it’s not a lot of fun acting strong. It makes other people feel pretty bad. I’m not about that.

Natalie: (nods) I understand. I try to handle it passively. … Though it often ends with me being a doormat.

?????: And that is why you’ll never improve.

(Natalie and Malika turn to see Bolin. He walks over to the two with his Starly. He’s just finished his own training session)

Natalie: (ignores the jab) So, Bolin, you had the day off due to your leader immunity. How was it?

Bolin: I trained.

Malika: Nice!

Bolin: Don’t pretend to be happy for me.

Natalie: (done acting nice) I was going to make a point to Malika just now by being passive but forget it. (sternly) What do you want, Bolin? Our types are weak to yours and you’ve only bothered talking to US of all people. So what is this? Intimidation? You’ve already won a challenge.

Bolin: … I’m glad to see you two diligently training. THAT’s how you end weakness… Though I can’t say it’ll help YOU much.

(Natalie huffs)

Bolin: (looks to Malika) You’ll be fine, though. Bounsweet and Shroomish have powerful evolutions.

Natalie: I don’t define my Pokemon by their evolutions. I see them for what they are.

Bolin: And what do you see when you look at THAT?

(Bolin looks to Metapod. Metapod, as if challenging the boy’s stance right now… begins to glow. It radiates and shines. All step back in awe as this Metapod comes undone and sheds its skin, allowing its final form to flourish and blossom outwards from its meager old self)

(*Evolution music* Metapod’s transformation… dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun… Metapod has evolved)

( It turns into its final evolution… A BUTTERFREE)

Natalie: (looks to Bolin) … I see potential.

Bolin: …

Malika: …

Natalie: …

Malika: … Nat, did you PLAN for that?

Natalie: (turns to Malika) NO, METAPOD DID THAT ON HIS OWN!


Natalie: I KNOW!


Natalie: YES!

Malika: WHAT A CHAMP! (to Bolin) You must feel pretty embarrassed, dude-

(Bolin is gone. Malika and Natalie merely look at one another. Butterfree is happily dancing in the air)

---> Bolin: … (looks at his Starly) I expect you to upstage that when it comes your time to evolve. (The Starly puffs out its chest in agreement)


=== Pewter City Museum === (Ludwig is looking at some ancient artifacts with Alice. They’re both lecturing each other on everything, enlightening one another more and more on each fossil and exhibit)

(They’re playing a game of “Did You Know”)

Ludwig: Did you know that Alola is underfunded in their archeology departments because of their lack of breakthrough discoveries with fossil finds?

Alice: Did you know that Twist Mountain in Unova had to be temporarily marked off as a National Park because they thought they hit a frozen fossil preserve underneath it during construction, but it was actually an ancient Regi cavern ruin? So they still marked it.

Ludwig: Did you know that the Regi trio are technically living fossils?

Alice: Did you know-

(Joey appears with his Rattata, who is still sleepy. He shoves it against Ludwig’s shirt)

Joey: Smart people! Tell me the IVS!

Ludwig: … Joey, we’re smart, but... (sighs) How do I phrase this delicately?

Alice: We're smart, but only people who displace their work ethic into Pokemon battling in substitution for a personality while simultaneously neglecting their daily responsibilities use their intelligence to learn IV formulas.

(The three all turn to the camera)

Joey: Nevermind. You’re right.

(They all maintain their eye contact with the camera. Joey breaks contact first and asks for the two to walk him around the museim. They do so, continuing their game of "Did You Know" with one another, letting Joey chime in too with completely non-scientific facts. They have a good time... )


(Unbeknowest... the saboteur of Ross is still undiscovered, and it could be anybody)






Molly MacGrady - Fairy typeDedenne#035 Clefairy 
Zane Lute - Ghost type#092 Gastly 
Alan Collins - Dark type#198 Murkrow
Malika Carter - Grass type#761 Bounsweet#285 Shroomish
Amber McLeod - Fire type:vulpix:
Trixie Masterson - Psychic type#677 Espurr 
Payton Rothman - Ice type#215 Sneasel 
Grace Cirillo - Electric type#081 Magnemite
Joey Young - Normal type#399 Bidoof#019 Rattata 
Axel Kens - Poison type#023 Ekans#032 Nidoran m. 
Bolin Temirov - Flying type#396 Starly 
Ludwig Von Malmar - Steel type#374 Beldum 
Ryuma Scifo - Dragon typeSophie Sprite
Natalie Harlow - Bug typeButterfree #347 Anorith 
Alice Kuroski - Rock typeTyrunt
Matteo Rossi - Ground type #027 Sandshrew

Chapter Text




(An old, sitcom-esque intro sequence begins with the upbeat background music we all subconsiously know and have ingrained into our minds)

♪♫ ANGIE’S AFTERMATH! You know it’s truuue! It’s time to learn about meeee and yoooou! We’ll sit down, drink some tea and have some fun! We’ll chat for hours til the day is done! ♪♫

(Angie is in a kitchen, ironing, dressed like a housewife. She looks at the floor where there are mudprints on the ground. She rolls her eyes and smiles at the camera)


♪♫ OH! Angie’s Aftermath is such a thrill! The action’s packed so that you can’t sit still! It’s a fun time that you won’t forget! I have not paid off my taxes yet!! ♪♫

(Angie walks through the front door wearing a button up shirt, a hat and long khakis and a mustache, also carrying a suitcase. She puts her coat on a coat hanger and smiles at the camera)


♪♫ Angie’s Aftermath! Oh, what a blast! I broke my arm last week and have a cast! It itches really bad I swear to god. I’ll use a tree branch as a scratching rod! ♪♫

(Angie is sitting on a pink bed with a ponytail, shorts and a crop top. She’s lying on her stomach as she yaps on a pink rotary phone. She looks at the camera and smiles)


♪♫ Angie’s Aftermath! It won’t be long! Forgot to bring the lyrics to the song! I’ll just keep singing to this nifty bop, and just keep going till they make me-♪♫

(Audio of the singer being tackled and equipment falling over as the upbeat tune still plays)





=== The Sevii Islands === (The Sevii Islands are a group of islands that each encompass their own lore and lush distinctive habitats)

(On one of the islands, on a beach, a talk show is set up. A girl in a tailored suit with a Makuhita in a bow tie wave at the camera)

(A table with a tea set, two large red, leather chairs, and the ocean in the background make up this set)

Angie: Welcome, everyone! I hope you’ve been holding onto your hats, because I SURE HAVEN’T!

(Angie takes her top hat off and throws it like a frisbee into the ocean)

Angie: … Costume department is gonna be mad at me.

(Angie skids over to her seat. She sits down)

Angie: Welcome to something I like to call… ANGIE’S AFTERMATH! I like to call it that because we paid money to have it printed out on a huge sign!

(The camera pans to the sign floating out to sea)

Angie: … Publicity department is gonna be mad about that.

(Angie hops out of her chair)

Angie: As you all know, I WAS ELIMINATED FIRST from the hit new series KANTO CATASTROPHES! Why? Watch the show and judge me yourself! Send your judgements to be anonymously so I can cry and eat ice cream offscreen. … (taps her foot) Dang, now I want Ice Cream.

(Makuhita places a LARGE tub of ice cream on the table. Angie fist bumps her Makuhita)

Angie: My dude.

(Makuhita dabs)

Angie: So today, we’ll be… um… interviewing the SECOND person out of the game! Give it up for… Oh wait, build up first.

(Angie explains)



Angie: Water Type. Ross is an aspiring Pokemon Ranger, who offered to travel between each location by hiking in order to gain more experience in his field! Unfortunately, someone took advantage of that in order to eliminate him by messing with his map! While he left early, we can conclude that he was definitely a force to be reckoned with… and someone DID reckon with him.

(A picture of Ross comes up)

Angie: And he’ll be joining us now!



Angie: Here comes Ross! Ladies and genlteman!

(Ross is literally just standing off to the side. He looks slightly confused. He was just standing there)

Angie: Come join us, Ross!

(Ross has his jacket off and his wool hat is gone. He’s wearing a T-shirt and shorts)

Ross: Hi Angie. … Um… Aren’t you hot?

Angie: I’ve been told I’m a 7/10, but I feel like I’m at LEAST a 2.5. At best.

Ross: I meant … the heat.

(Angie is wearing a tailored suit and its all black. Angie is indeed sweating)

Angie: Appearance is crucial.

Ross: So is living. Be careful.

Angie: (snaps to being serious for a second, almost… accidentally) Just let me impress them! … (pauses and smiles back to her usually goofy self) I mean…

Ross: (coughs) So… How does this show work?

Angie: Basically, I talk to you about your time on the show! But we’re not paid as much as the main season program, so we’re gonna have to move fast. (taps her empty wrist)

Ross: Well, I don’t entirely mind the loss… I mean, they were right. I’d make a much better Pokemon Ranger. It’s what I’m training for. It’s what I want. I lost because I focused too much on what was REALLY calling me.

Angie: Actually, you were straight up sabotaged, bro.

Ross: Do you, um… (taps his fingers together) Have footage of who did it?

Angie: Naw. They don’t give any footage over to me.

Ross: Why?

Angie: Because I paused and yelled “ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED” whenever a triangle appeared. It was funny, but they stopped laughing after maybe the…. … zero-ith time I did it.

Ross: So they never laughed.

Angie: Producers are mean.

Ross: I’d love to know who sabotaged me.

Angie: Let’s conspirize! Let’s CONFIRM the Illuminati!

(Angie pulls out a chart. It has every contestant silhouetted)

Angie: Let’s focus on those with type disadvantages against you! Instant motive.

Ross: That’s Fire, Ground and Rock. Amber, Matteo and Alice.

Angie: I wouldn’t put it past Amber. I’m not sure if Matteo can even read a map, and Alice? … Geez, I don’t want Matteo or Alice to be secretly BAD!

Ross: I don’t think it was Matteo or Alice. I don’t think Matteo even knows that Ground is weak to Water, and Alice is capable as is. She doesn’t need to sabotage… Now AMBER. That’s a possibility.

Angie: That girl is all kinds of all over the place. I’m interested to see if she’ll be stopped.

Ross: We’re leaving out other possibilities. It could be anyone, honestly. Brock was right, I made myself WAY too vulnerable at the start. Maybe someone just saw the opportunity and took it.

Angie: Yup. That's a good point!

Ross: Now if we’re to thinking about this strategically, Water is a VERY strong type due to the lack of weaknesses. Only two.

Angie: So Grace and Malika are definitely not the baddies. That’s good.

Ross: Or maybe they ARE and eliminating me was to throw them off their trail before they attack others?

Angie: Maybe looking too deep into it.

Ross: I’m a Water Type trainer. I’m supposed to get deep.

Angie: NICE PUN!!! AYO!!!

(Ross smiles and snaps his fingers at Angie)

Angie: Well, is there anything else?

Ross: That’s all I have to say. I was happy with what I got to do… but I have more places to go.

(Ross stands up and picks up his backpack. Buizel pokes his head out of it. Ross begins to walk away)

Angie: ROSS! You’re missing the part where I let your Pokemon trash the set!

Ross: (offscreen) I have places to go. I’m thinking of checking out Johto while I’m in the area.

Angie: … (looks at the camera) And that’s all we have for today, folks! (waves) SEE YOU NEXT TIME! … (Angie beams a smile and leans over in her chair. Makuhita catches the chair before it falls all the way over)



Angie played by ANGIE
Ross played by ROSS
Host played by ANGIE
MC played by ANGIE
Dapper Chick played by ANGIE
Hot Beast played by ANGIE
Queen Of The Got Dang World played by ANGIE-

(Angie is tackled as she continues to make faulty credits)




(End Of Segment)

Chapter Text

REGION TROTTERS: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 4

Molly MacGrady - Fairy typeDedenne#035 Clefairy 
Zane Lute - Ghost type#092 Gastly 
Alan Collins - Dark type#198 Murkrow
Malika Carter - Grass type#761 Bounsweet#285 Shroomish
Amber McLeod - Fire type:vulpix:
Trixie Masterson - Psychic type#677 Espurr 
Payton Rothman - Ice type#215 Sneasel 
Grace Cirillo - Electric type#081 Magnemite
Joey Young - Normal type#399 Bidoof#019 Rattata 
Axel Kens - Poison type#023 Ekans#032 Nidoran m. 
Bolin Temirov - Flying type#396 Starly 
Ludwig Von Malmar - Steel type#374 Beldum 
Ryuma Scifo - Dragon typeSophie Sprite
Natalie Harlow - Bug typeButterfree #347 Anorith 
Alice Kuroski - Rock typeTyrunt
Matteo Rossi - Ground type #027 Sandshrew


=== Cerulean City === (The contestants have finished breakfast and are now roaming through Cerulean City. Some stay put in the trailers for further instruction)

(Cerulean City is a seaside town with a bridge going over an inlet of water that leads to a further route. On the other side of Mt. Moon, Cerulean City encompasses a lot of higher ground and fresh air)


=== Boy’s Trailer === (Alan and Zane are alone in the boy’s trailer. Alan is peacefully reading a newspaper at the table. He puffs on his cigar and blows smoke out the window. Murkrow sits on the edge of the table, poking at Alan’s hands trying to receive pets)

(Alan grumbles at the sound of Zane snoring in his sleep. Zane is still resting. Alan tries to blot it out, but to no avail)

Alan: Why couldn’t I have been deaf instead? ... (mumbles to himself) Was that joke made already?

(Alan crumbles up the newspaper into a ball. He hands it to Murkrow. Murkrow swoops, picking up the newspaper ball, and flies it over and shoves it in Zane’s mouth, silencing his snores)

(Alan has no more newspaper)

Alan: … (shrugs) Wasn’t reading it anyway.


=== Cerulean City, Park === (In the park in Cerulean City, there’s a large area of grass, a big fountain, and plenty of flowers. Payton is sitting on edge of the fountain while Matteo stands nearby)

(As of last episode, Payton has agreed to help Matteo train his Pokemon to obey him, since Sandshrew is very poorly behaved)

Payton: Your Sandshrew needs to be tamed, I offer to help, and you show up five minutes late to our FIRST meeting?

Matteo: (rubbing his eyes) Does it have to be so early in the morning?

Payton: It’s TEN.

Matteo: Yeah. Early.

Payton: … Are you spoiled?

Matteo: Naw.

Payton: Rich?

Matteo: Not really.

Payton: Hm. Well your Sandshrew certainly acts like it, and that needs to sto-

(Payton yelps and ducks. Matteo’s Sandshrew came out of nowhere and flew over Payton’s head. Sandshrew misses and flies into the fountain)

Payton: Step one. Discipline your Pokemon if they do something bad. Exhibit A.

(Payton gestures to the Sandshrew desperately trying to get out of the fountain. The rabid Ground Type is flailing in the water. Payton’s Sneasel is snickering at its misfortune)

Matteo: … But won’t throwing a Ground Type in Water hurt it?

Payton: Yeah. That’s too much discipline. Go get it out.

Matteo: … (looks to Payton) ...

Payton: … YOU go get it out! I’m not training it for you. Make it respect YOU. It’s weak to water but you aren’t, so swim, pretty boy.

(Payton tries to shove Matteo into the fountain, but she is small and weak and he is large)

Payton: Jump in the fountain the moment I push.

(Payton pushes again, and Matteo jumps into the fountain on command)

Payton: (self congratulatory) I did it.

(Matteo just sits in the fountain, enjoying the free bath. Sandshrew hisses at him)


=== Cerulean City, Nugget Bridge === (The golden bridge that connects the city to a northern route over the water. Here, Ryuma is fishing over the dock)

---> Ryuma: I’m not the best fishermen in Seafolk Village. If I was, I would’ve gone into Vast Poni Canyon and found a Dratini. But if I was the best fishermen in Seafolk Village, then I wouldn’t have my Jangmo-o with me. So in a way… It all works out.

Ryuma: … (reels in the line. He looks at an empty hook. He grunts and throws the line back in)

(Three seconds later, he does the same thing. Repeat)

??????: Caught any ‘Carps yet, Twinkletoes?

(Ryuma looks over and sees Amber walking towards him. Ryuma tenses up and glares at her)

Amber: What?

Ryuma: …

Amber: Oh C’MON! Was it somethin I said?

Ryuma: Go away, Amber. (Ryuma reels in the line. Nothing)

Amber: (sits on the ledge of the bridge, hips next to where Ryuma’s wrists are) I can cut to the chase.

Ryuma: I’d prefer that.

Amber: I’m not going anywhere until I know you won’t try and frame me for Ross’ elimination. I didn’t do anything to his map.

Ryuma: What’s it matter if I frame you? Someone will eventually because it WAS probably you.

Amber: I don’t consider you a threat because of anything other than you bearin a pointless grudge against me.

Ryuma: I don’t have any grudges.

Amber: Then why the glare at me, Scalebait?

Ryuma: Cuz the sun’s in my eye and you’re really annoying and I hate you okay-maybe it’s a grudge. (Ryuma reels in the line again. Nothing)

Amber: Here’s what I’m proposing… How about you DON’T try and convince the whole cast that I offed Ross from the game. (pause) … You’d be lying if you did, by the way.

Ryuma: Would I?

Amber: Are you one of those people who’s obsessed with moral code and honor or whatever?

Ryuma: (deadpan) Do you ask because I’m asian?

Amber: No, because you’re fishing for FUN. And the only people who fish for fun are philosophical wahoos with pretentious standards about everything. … that and everybody’s pa.

Ryuma: Oddly wordy for a country girl.

Amber: I don’t just sit around winning pie-eating contests all day, you Grumpig.

Ryuma: Do you?

Amber: … Occasionally. But besides the point. I wanna form an alliance with you.

Ryuma: W-what!? (looks to Amber) An alliance!? This again!?

Amber: Did I stutter?

Ryuma: No, but your southern drawl is arguably worse. ... You’re just making this offer that so I won’t have a reason to destroy your reputation in the game.

Amber: Yeah, and?

Ryuma: … … …

Amber: I got nothin to hide.

Ryuma: If you double cross me, I swear-

Amber: -I know. If I double cross you, you’ll destroy me faster than you can reel in a fishing line… (mockingly) Which, if I may add, is way too fast. Be more patient with the trout, Lightnin Line.

(Ryuma reels in the fishing line. He always reels in too early and too fast. Amber’s got him there. Amber suppresses a laugh at his lack of success. Ryuma just sighs)

---> Ryuma: Amber’s tough, and I’d rather have her as an ally than an enemy. She almost got me eliminated in the last challenge. I’m not risking that again.

---> Amber: (smirking) Ryuma nearly bit the dust in the last challenge, so he’ll be playin it extra careful today. No risks from that boy. Perfect opportunity for me to swoop in and take him as an alliance mate. I can't have him telling everyone that I sabotaged Ross either, cuz that'll paint a big red "X" on my back. ... (points at the camera) I DIDN'T SABOTAGE HIM, by the way! For the record!


(Trixie is standing at a fence overlooking the caves on the other side of the river. The bridge is a ways down. She looks at the rocky structures with interest)

---> Trixie: (petting Espurr) I gotta say, I'm kind of surprised Ross left so early… I figured he’d get farther. (Puts a hand to her chin) What's more concerning, though, is HOW he left. I can't believe someone sabotaged him like that! It could've been anyone... (Smiles) Well, anyone except Luddy or Alice! I know it's only episode four, but I feel like I've got a good friendship going with them. (Looks down as Espurr glances up) Especially since they're the only ones who know how strong my psychic abilities really are... Alice and I filled him in. (Looks at the camera and smiles) I trust them.

(Ludwig walks over and leans on the bridge next to Trixie)

Ludwig: Hey Trixie.

Trixie: (Trixie turns to Ludwig) Hi Ludwig. Sorry for bailing on you and Alice at Mt. Moon. I was-

Ludwig: -It’s fine. You’re not obligated to stick with us. Nothing permanent. Besides, we have our assigned cliques and I'm careful about how high I set my sights. (Trixie raises an eyebrow) So what’re you looking at?

Trixie: (turns) Cerulean Cave. …

Ludwig: Oh…

(Ludwig and Trixie look at the daunting cliffside rock structures across the river. Behind one of the rocky alcoves is the mysterious CERULEAN CAVE)

Trixie: It’s said that long ago, a failed experiment hid away in there to escape its creators… The most powerful Psychic Type Pokemon to ever live…

Ludwig: Mewtwo. … Technically MEW is the most powerful, but Mewtwo is the one that was “created”.

Trixie: I hope we visit the labs where it happened… Maybe I’ll find something to help my psychic abilities kick in.

Ludwig: I wouldn’t get my hopes up in finding any SAFE or humanistic ways to unlock those powers in those labs… They did some terrible experiments.

Trixie: Like what?

Ludwig: … Torture… Electroshock treatment… and being forced to listen to 80’s nightcore.

Trixie: That bad?

Ludwig: Nightcore does odd things to your neurotransmitters. Effective but excessively cruel.

????: What are you two harping on about?

(Ludwig and Trixie turn to see Axel and his Ekans and Nidoran. Ekans is wrapped around Axel’s arm. Nidoran stands loyally by his side)

Trixie: We’re talking about the Mewtwo Experiments. How Mewtwo ran off to Cerulean Cave.

Axel: (bluntly) Ain’t science great?

(Axel walks away with his Pokemon. Trixie and Ludwig just looked confused with Axel’s brief words)

---> Trixie: It’s hard to get a read on Axel. Most of the time he’s just a little snot. And nobody likes reading snot. ... Ew... now I pictured words written in snot... Oh god that's so gross but oddly has the same energy Axel gives off on the regular.

(Suddenly an ABRA teleports near the edge of the river)

Ludwig: …

Trixie: … Haha. Nice try. I’m not gonna leap into a tree again just to-

(Trixie leaps at the Abra. It teleports again. She falls into the river. Ludwig bursts out laughing, but quickly coughs and clears his throat and smiles when Trixie resurfaces and gives him a tired look. Ludwig ceases and helps her out)


=== Route 9 === (Route 9 is a long, eastern bound route running along the cliffsides of Cerulean City. This route has various inter-twining paths, cut from each other by cliffs)

(Zane and Alan are walking around. Zane woke up and Alan is ready for the day. Alan is motioning his finger on a device he’s carrying)

Zane: Whatcha got there, Alan?

Alan: It’s a sound device. It plays a sound that frequents other regions, causing Pokemon that originate from there to show themselves…

Zane: (gasps) … So if you play a Sinnoh sound… a Bidoof could fly across the ocean and reach us?

Alan: No. It means a Pokemon living HERE with roots to THERE will come out.

Zane: Well that’s great. I'm proud of their bravery!

Alan: Not THAT ‘come out’.

(Alan’s device beeps. He stands still)

Alan: Okay… something’s picking up. … But what?

(Low rustling occurs in the bushes nearby. A Mankey, a Rattata and a Spearow run for their lives in the opposite direction. Alan pays no mind to them)

Alan: Show yourself! …

---> Alan: Dark type Pokemon aren’t very fond of Kanto. Kanto was one of the last regions to accept them as a type… And, well… my grandfather said his grandfather told him that people burned Dark Type Pokemon users at the stake… (tilts his head) They thought that “dark type” Pokemon were evil… some called them “sorcerers” which was weird since Alazakams were around and nobody bat an eye. Kanto is "the south" of the Pokemon World, if that makes sense? Not a very progressive place.

(A SABLEYE shows itself. It’s a dark, measly purple, goblin-like creature with sharp teeth and diamonds for eyes)

Alan: … (using Murkrow to help him identify the creature) Murkow. Is there a dark type here?

(Sableye hisses and gnashes its claws at the two. Zane smiles widely)

Zane: That Sableye’s adorable!

Alan: … I suppose I could have asked the person and not the Murkrow.

(Murkrow ruffles its feather. Alan ignores, grins, and pulls out an Ultra Ball)

Alan: Okay, Murkrow… here’s the deal. You won’t begin with False Swipe, that’ll give it more time to attack while it’s near full health. To chip it down, I’ve given you a Sharp Beak to hold so your Wing Attack will have more power. I want it weak before we immobilize it with Thunder Wave. Then, we hit it with a barrage of Ultra Balls until we catch it. The catch rate of Sableye are staggering, so we need to be patient and-

Zane: -MEEP!!!

(Zane throws a Quick Ball. Sableye is immediately caught)

Alan: …

Zane: …

Murkrow: …

Zane: … (smiling) I named him Carrot.

Alan: …

---> Alan: … (facepalms)


(On the same route, Bolin has just defeated a Picknicker. His Starley prunes itself in victory before it begins glowing. The Picknicker watching is mortified)

(Starley’s body shifts and transforms. It becomes bigger and turns into a new Pokemon. Its feathers spruce up and outwards)

(*Evolution music* Starly’s transformation… dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun… Starly has evolved)

(STARAVIA. The little girl begins crying from pure jealousy of Bolin’s victory and evolution)

Picknicker: BAAAHHAAAA!!! I’ll NEVER be a good trainer! I failed!!!

(Bolin whistles. His Staravia perches on his shoulder. He pets its neck before walking over and sitting down next to the sobbing child. He pats her back)

Bolin: … (his voice still deep and deadpan) Don’t be sad… You did nothing wrong… other than choosing to fight with a Paras. They’re naturally weak. Get rid of it.

(Bolin pulls out an Ultra Ball and hands it to the Picknicker)

Bolin: There are Mankey on this route. They evolve into Primeape. Natural destroyers.

(The Picknicker throws away her Pokeball with Paras inside off of a cliff She takes the Ultra Ball and runs head first into the tall grass)


(Bolin turns around to come face to face… well, he’s tall so face-to-stomach with Natalie, who looks justifiably livid)

Bolin: … What?

Natalie: (holds up the Paras that the Picknicker threw away) I’m gonna take this to a Pokemon Center where it’ll be put up for adoption thanks to YOU.

Bolin: (shrugs) Won’t make it less weak, but your call.

Natalie: (growls) UGH! What is your problem!?

(Chris walks over to the two, and slides in in time before an argument can ensue)

Chris: Challenge time, kiddos! Follow me to the Nugget Bridge!

(Alan, Zane, Bolin and Natalie all walk behind Chris and follow him. Natalie and Bolin continue to glare at one another)

---> Natalie: I don’t hate a lot of things… but Bolin’s attitude is up there. (Natalie pulls out a literal list of things she hates. It’s a pretty long list) It’s number 14, 8, 5, 6 and 2 at the moment.


=== Cerulean City, The Nugget Bridge === (Chris has the whole cast gathered together. The sixteen remaining contestants. They all stand on a golden bridge connecting Cerulean City to Route 24)

Chris: Before we begin, I want to remind Malika that she has immunity today from yesterday’s victory. So, have fun with your day off, Malika.

Malika: Heck yeah! What’s there to do in Cerulean City?

Chris: … What IS there to do in Cerulean City?

Bud: Fish. Train. Walk into people’s houses and smash their pots for rupees?

Chris: What?

Bud: Or you can just walk into people’s houses and raid their garbage bins.

Chris: That part made sense.

Bud: Why don’t we just ask a local?

Chris: Good segway, Bud! Welcome today’s guest judge, MISTY, the CERULEAN GYM LEADER!

(Misty walks down from behind the contestants. She’s wearing a jean jacket with a one-piece swimsuit. She has bright orange, spiky hair, and a friendly demeanour. She walks over to Chris and Bud)

(Everyone waves and smiles. Some politely clap for Misty, showing appreciation for another Gym Leader being present)

Misty: Well, for starters, in Cerulean City you can swim in the pool in the Pokemon Gym.

Malika: It took me an hour to put my mascara on today. I ain’t gonna get wet. What else is there to do?

Misty: … I’m not gonna lie, a while ago I went on a journey around Kanto and Johto just to get away from the boredom of this city. Honestly, I can’t help you out with much.

(Malika is shooed away by Chris)

Chris: TODAY’S CHALLENGE will take place in a house on Route 24. Follow me, everyone!

(Misty moves with Chris and Bud to lead everyone to the next location)


=== Route 24, Bill’s House === (The cast comes upon a large estate on the end of the route that borders the river. It's a massive lodge with two garages and lots of whacky extenstions and equipment jutting from the structure)

(The cast is led to the front door. It's large and made of steel)

Chris: Our OTHER guest of the day will be one of Pokemon’s most acclaimed and famous scientists!

(Axel groans. He hates science and technology. This won't be fun for him)

Chris: BILL!!!

Alice: (her eyes sparkle and her jaw drops) NNN-N-NO WAY!!! Are we really?! … BILL’S presence!? … But he won’t ACTUALLY be here, will he? That’d be too good a treat.

(Bill exits the house. He’s a man with dark green hair and a tailored dark brown suit. He looks like a little tree. He has a charming smile and the ability to make Alice faint on sight. Alice has fainted. Her Tyrunt catches her. Alice is dramatically leaned backwards over Tyrunt)

Bill: … Is she alright?

Chris: I wouldn’t be too concerned.

Bill: … I feel that I’m just the right amount of concerned, thank you very much.

Chris: Go on.

Bill: Oh… Um.

(Alice awakens. She stands at firm attention to Bill, super excited to be here)

Alice: B-BILL!!! THE BILL!!!

Bill: Oh she's alive! Hello! (waves) Well, today’s challenge is all about SCIENCE.

Axel: Stooooooooooop. (pouts)

---> Axel: Uggghhhh. Science. It’s just an excuse for people to act smart and think they’re better than everyone. Cool you found a cure for syphilis but I outran THREE cops on my way to this very competition. (holds up a can of spray paint) I tagged the police station. They'll memorilize it once I win.

Bill: If you’d follow me inside, please, that'd be great.

Alice: WAIT! We’re going IN your lab? … B-but how can you trust us all? Won’t we BREAK something irreplaceable? A piece of scientific history on the breakthrough, ruined by our adolescent incompetence. Surely we can’t be waltzing into your workplace? A REALITY show in YOUR lab? That’s essentially pelvic thrusting on the Spear Pillar. Unacceptably inappropriate for such a sacred-

Chris: -Alice. Zip it ALL up.

(Alice stops talking. They all walk inside)

---> Ludwig: I live in Kanto, so I’ve actually received a tour of his lab prior to this. Unlike Alice, I know where to lose my composure… (pause) … and it’s in here. (Ludwig screams) OH MY GOSH, BILL!!!! (squees in delight)

---> Alice: (breathing into a paper bag) I’m not WORTHY.


=== Bill’s Laboratory === (The lab is HUGE. Just lots of machines and whatnot. At the far end are sixteen pairs of metal incubators that can fit an entire human inside each of them. Tubes and wires connect each of the pairs. All of the insides of them are humming and whirring due to being activated)

Bill: As you can all recall, a famous incident that occurred years ago in this very laboratory-

Axel: -Not all of us care, you know-

Alice: -(in Axel’s face) NOT THE TIME. (Alice turns back to Bill and smiles. She puts her hands together) Go on, Professor Bill.

Ludwig: (chuckles) Tell him, Alice.

Bill: (smiles) Well, one of my most famous experiments here was the one where I accidentally switched bodies with my Pokemon. So today, your challenge is to manufacture a-


(Everyone just looks confused)

Bill: … I beg your pardon.

Chris: You all will bake a cake… … in your Pokemon’s body.

(Everyone is dead silent, processing what he just said)

Zane: (breaks the silence) Well isn’t that where cake normally goes?

Bill: Excuse me, Chris. But you promised they’d be helping me with-

Chris: -Too bad! They’re gonna switch into their Pokemon’s bodies and attempt to do something as trivial as baking a cake! It’ll be hilarious!

Bill: My research isn’t meant for-

Chris: -I’m on T.V. more than you are, so my opinion matters more. We’re doing it.

Payton: Objection. This challenge is kinky.

Chris: It’s only kinky if YOU make it kinky.

Payton: (to everyone) If even ONE of you decides to make it kinky I swear this whole game will be ruined for all of us.

---> Axel: If I was going to have the hots for a Pokemon, I’d at least choose one with limbs. No offense, Ekans. (Axel’s Ekans takes no offense)

---> Alan: Unfortunately, another thing that Kanto is known for is its first case of dealing with someone who wanted to marry their Pokemon… You guessed it. A Machamp was involved.

---> Joey: … What’s a “kink”?

---> Matteo: (chuckles) Well at least I’ll be able to temporarily control my Sandshrew’s attitude. Haha… (looks down, ashamed)

Chris: And before any of you complain… Remember ONE. MILLION. DOLLARS…. And CHAMPION status.

(Everyone just looks at Chris annoyedly. That is a solid deal)


(Boom. Scene transition. They all complied)

(All of the contestants are inside of their machines with their chosen Pokemon that they’ll switch bodies with. There are stations for them to bake their cakes)

Grace: Why would a champion need to know how to do any of this?

Chris: Because it makes the audience giggle.

(WHOOM. All of the machines turn on and the contestants begin switching bodies with their Pokemon)

Chris: So my plan is to release the Pokemon in the human bodies all over Cerulean City so they can do whacky hilarious stuff.

Bill: … I will… um… NOT let that happen. Those sides of the pods will stay locked all episode.

Chris: But Bill… think of how funny it’d be.

Bill: They’d all jump off cliffs, thinking they could fly or whatnot.

Chris: … Joy killer.


Payton - SNEASEL
(Payton steps out of the machine in the body of a Sneasel. See, Payton has the uncanny ability to not give a single flying frick about anything, and undoubetly utilizes this to skip the "AUGH. I'M A POKEMON" step of being turned into a Pokemon temporarily. She gets to work)

(Matteo has a hard time walking, since a Sandshrew's legs a lot smaller and chunky. He flops forward and rolls into a ball. If Matteo himself had the ability to roll into a ball the way Sandshrew did, he'd probably be okay with that)

Axel - EKANS
(Axel flops out and starts wiggling like a freaking worm. Instant discomfort)

(Bolin has to take wider steps, since Staravia is a wider bird, but with tiny legs. He has trouble getting used to having wings, but doesn't ponder too much about it's usage. He doesn't bother wasting time learning to fly, knowing he'd be endangering his chances)

(Grace just floats out like a normal Magnemite would)

(Natalie flies out, in the body of a Butterfree. She tries flying, unlike Bolin. She flops into multiple hard surfaces until she slaps against the floor)

Alice - TYRUNT
(Alice has bad eyesight due to having a wide maw blocking her eyes from crossing. She staggers forward, hunched as a small T-rex would be. She wiggles her fingers for a second, making sure she can physically use her whole body before trodding forward)

Amber - VULPIX
(Amber stumbles out as a Vulpix. Not used to all fours, she tries to stand on two legs, but it doesn't work. She falls on her face and accepts it. She doesn't mind dirtying her paws. She dirties her hands as a person all the time)

Ryuma - JANGMO-O
(Ryuma is not about this. He barely steps out of the machine, acting as cowardly as his Jangmo-o did in a previous episode. Not enjoying seeing her alliance mate wimp out, Amber yanks Ryuma from the machine with her mouth)

Ludwig - BELDUM
(Ludwig just sits there as a small dumbell robot psychic creature. He doesn't know how to float. He lifts off the ground slowly and slams into a wall. He keeps going)

(Molly just daintily exits, being able to easily control her Pokemon's body since Clefairy still stands on two legs and has arms. Unfortunately, no neck and tiny limbs make Clefairy spin easily whenever she wants to turn)

(Alan just steps out and STARES. His expression goes blank. Blank as a Murkrow can get)

Trixie - ESPURR
(Trixie is in that same spot as Alan. Her eyes are just WIDE, and Trixie struggles with looking away from what is likely an eminent void of knowledge unleashed by being a psychic type)

(Joey hobbles out on all fours. He looks at his paws and wiggles his tail. He is the top percentage now)

(Zane slams into the wall. He staggers a bit, looking around in confusion as he grasps onto whatever he can find. He trips over Axel)


(The contestants are released. They all walk, slither, fly, float out of their pods, all inside the bodies of their Pokemon. … )

Zane (Sableye): So since I’m officially a ghost type right now… am I technically dead?

Payton (Sneasel): Don’t get my hopes up.

Joey (Rattata): … I … AM… THE TOP PERCENT!!!

Trixie (Espurr): … I can’t blink right now. (tries blinking)

Natalie (Butterfree): Hm. So Espurrs aren’t just “vacantly staring” they just literally can’t blink because of how big their eyes are. Interesting.

(Bolin as a Staravia reacts to literally none of this)

Axel (Ekans): (wiggles around on the ground for a minute) … I realizzzze I could have picked Nidoran… a Pokemon with limbssss…

Ludwig (Beldum): (in a robotic voice) HAHA… or as we scientists like to say … Humor detected. Comedy confirmed.

Axel (Ekans): Sssssssssstop it.

Matteo (Sandshrew): … You know… now that I’m in Sandshrew’s body… maybe it’s SHORT RAGE that’s got him all angry, you know? Payton?

Payton (Sneasel): Let’s just get this over with.

Grace (Magnemite): (Grace is in a robot. No emotion. Nothing. Just beeps and boops)

Chris: EVERYONE! Now you have to bake a cake for our amusement. … Literally just… it’ll be funny.

Bill: What makes you think I have enough supplies to make sixteen cakes present and avilable in this lab?

Chris: You're rich.

Bill: You got me there.

Chris: Alright, everyone. GO!


(The next few confessionals are cutting between everyone’s individual confessionals)

---> Matteo: (back to normal) One may be thinking… “Why weren’t they all freaking out”? Well…

---> Bolin: -The answer to that is simple.-

---> Zane: -We live in an AMAZING world!-

---> Natalie: -One where little baby animals can, at will, suck out your life force-

---> Amber: -Burn you alive-

---> Trixie: -Rearrange your entire mind-

---> Joey: -Beat you up-

---> Ryuma: -And devour you in one gulp. Let me reiterate. We live in a world where kittens can breathe fire, where flightless two headed ostriches can learn FLY, and where DRAGONS are afraid of FAIRIES. … The only things that can really catch anyone in this world by surprise are Fantasy League Football results and who dies next in The Walking Fainted. Oh, and elections. Poor Unova.


(We cut back to Bill’s Lab. The laboratory has been hastily renovated by some of Bill's attendants. It's now a massive settup like a kitchen. Everyone is inside the body of their Pokemon trying to bake a cake. Future champions, y’all)

(Zane, stuck in Sableye’s body, waltzes over to Alan who is in Murkrow’s)

Zane (Sableye): Hey Alan! I have gemstones infused into my eye sockets. Got any advice for someone experiencing blindness for the first time?

---> Zane: You’d think having diamonds for eyes would make the world a kaleidoscope. But nope. Total darkness.

Alan (Murkrow): Got any advice for someone experiencing SIGHT for the first time!?!?

(Alan is looking around in awe)

Alan (Murkrow):  … Wow… So these are colors… …

Trixie (Espurr): (walking by holding a big bag of flour) Lucky you. I’m seeing ALL colors… (Trixie’s Espurr eyes grow larger and more mysterious) Allllll of them…

Alan (Murkrow): Can birds not cry? Because I’m trying to find this moment sentimental enough to cause that.

(Alan, as a Murkrow, barely functions during the challenge. He’s just experiencing sight and is APPRECIATING that. Zane has the opposite effect, and bumps into everything, not knowing how to take care of himself)

(Trixie, as an Espurr, gently picks up the supplies she needs. She levitates herself, but is unable to lift anything with her mind. She doesn’t levitate for long though, and falls back on the ground, getting crushed under a box of cutlery. She’s fine)


(Ryuma, as Jangmo-o, is grabbing a giant bag of flour. He is standing on two legs, carrying two bags of flour as he rushes to his table. The tables are all high up, as they’re meant to people. Since all of the Pokemon owned by the trainers are small… they have trouble)

(Amber, Vulpix, is preheating the oven with her paws. It’s hard to turn the knobs without thumbs. She rushes back to Ryuma and hops up on a seat next to him)

Amber (Vulpix): (also on two legs) Okay, so we need to get a roller. Last I checked, Alice accidentally bit five of them in half.

Alice (Tyrunt): (offscreen) My arms are so SMALL.


Ryuma (Jangmo-o): I don’t have any of the frosting pasters yet. We should-

Amber (Vulpix): Already ahead of you.

(Amber tosses Ryuma a frosting paster. She was ready. Ryuma blinks)

---> Ryuma: She didn’t actively sabotage me. I’m surprised. It’s as if Amber actually knows how to function in an alliance.


(Joey and Molly are making their cakes together. They’re rolling the dough, but it’s hilarious cuz they have to stand on the roller and walk on it instead of using their hands due to their size)

Molly (Clefairy): Now before anything Joey, I need to make sure… You’re not gonna be one of those people that adores an animal and then, through some strange turns of events, BECOMES that animal and then doesn’t want to go back to being human despite their family’s grievances before slowly losing their mind and human consciousness to become that animal completely.

Joey (Rattata): Nah. I miss my shorts already.

Molly (Clefairy): Oh thank goodness. Nobody likes those arcs. Plus it’d be hard to explain to parents.

(The two continue to work on their cakes)


(Alice, as a Tyrunt, marches over to Bill and talks to him)

Alice (Tyrunt) Hey!

Bill: (jumps) GOODNESS! … Sorry, I’m still getting used to this for the day. I’m still upset with Chris.

Alice (Tyrunt): Well, as pointless as THIS is, it opens up a lot of potential for concepts that could work! Since technically our mind and conscience can be traced back to our roots in DNA, we could swap parts of DNA between Pokemon and people, specifically their special abilities, since moves and attacks are of a different protocol.

Bill: You know, I’ve actually already been working on that, Alice. I’m surprised you’ve thought of that.

Alice (Tyrunt): What’s your progress been like?

Bill: Well, it managed to WORK for one of my assistants. They have the Sandstorm Ability now… unfortunately they’ve had to move to my other headquarters at Desert Resort in Unova due to that… effect. … The real tragedy is that it’s in Unova.

Alice (Tyrunt): Mm. Unova. (shakes her lil T-Rex head)

(Alice and Bill just start talking science. Alice is having a genuinely engaging conversation with Bill, but it's awkward since she's currently a little dinosaur)


(Joey Rattata is putting frosting on SIX cupcakes that he just made with Molly’s help. Molly turns around and sees FIVE)

Molly (Clefairy): Joey, dear. You had six. Where’d one go.

(Joey Rattata’s face is stuffed from eating one)

Joey (Rattata): I look like an Alola Ratticate. (chuckles)

(The two giggle. Molly shakes her head to get more supplies)


(Natalie-Butterfree keeps dropping everything cuz she can’t hold it for that long, since she’s very weak)

(Molly-Clefairy is reading from a cookbook. Joey instinctively eats some of its pages. The two just stare at each other for a second)

(Grace-Magnemite isn’t really worrying all that much about what’s happened to it. It’s just doing what it needs to do. Grace is floating sideways and using its rotating magnet handles as a stirring device)

(Zane-Sableye is eating silverware. Joey feels better about what he’s done after seeing this)




=== Cerulean City, Pokemon Gym === (Malika is in her swimsuit relaxing on a beach chair. Shroomish and Bounsweet are sitting next to her)

Malika: … I hope I’m not missing anything TOO interesting.

(Girl, be grateful. Be glad you're missing this one)



Chapter Text

REGION TROTTERS: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 4

Alan (DARK), Axel (POISON), Bolin (FLYING), Joey (NORMAL), Ludwig (STEEL),  Matteo (GROUND), Ryuma (DRAGON), Zane (GHOST)
Alice (ROCK), Amber (FIRE), Grace (ELECTRIC), Malika (GRASS), Molly (FAIRY), Natalie (BUG), Payton (ICE), Trixie (PSYCHIC)


=== Cerulean City, Nugget Bridge === (Bounsweet and Shroomish, Malika’s Pokemon, have snuck off somewhere else without her. They're sitting on the bridge together, looking out at the broad horizone)

Bounsweet: …

Shroomish: …

(They say their names at each other, but raunchy subtitles are included for your convenience)

Bounsweet: … Bounsweet. Bounsweet. Bounsweet. (“Raymond. I’m so glad to have you here with me. I always feel… safer with you”)

Shroomish. Meh. Shroom. (“Why tho?”)

Bounsweet: Bounsweet. Bounsweet. Bounsweet. (“Isn’t the view wonderful?”)

Shroomish: Shroo. (“I don’t care”)

Bounsweet: Bounsweet. Bounsweet. Bounsweet. (“I could look at this sight everyday.”)

Shroomish: Muh. (“Sounds boring”)

Bounsweet: … Bounsweet. Bounsweet. Bounsweet. (“Oh, Raymond. You dashing fungi”)

Shroomish: Mishshroo. (“I’m going back to DipFace”)

(Shroomish waddles away, off to return to Malika. Bounsweet sighs and looks off)

Bounsweet: … … … Sweet sweet. (“You will have my babies one day, Raymond”)

(Y’all think this is a joke episode, but I sh** you not. It’s canon)


=== Bill’s Laboratory === (Hell)

(Everyone is inside of their Pokemon… )

(... INSIDE OF THEIR POKEMON In the way where you SWAP BODIES. If you assumed anything other than that, change your icon to a Diglett so I know who to avoid)

(Everyone is in the middle of baking their cake. Some have even taken their cakes out of the ovens by now and are in the decorating stage)


Chris: It’s MUSICAL time! You have to sing-

Payton (Sneasel): -I have CLAWS, Chris. I will rip your throat out and sing through your disembodied lungs!!!

Chris: …


Chris: Carry on.

---> Amber: The actual closest Payton has ever come to being “ok” in my book.


(Trixie is trying to reach the dial to turn on her oven. It’s too high up for her. Her little Espurr arms don’t reach. She just sighs and leers at the dial, angry at it for not cooperating)

(And then it turns on its own. Trixie gasps and her eyes get scarily wider)

Trixie (Espurr): Oh my gosh! … I … I did it! … Ludwig!

Ludwig (Beldum): (floats over) What’s wrong?

Trixie (Espurr): I did it! I unlocked my psychic powers-Nevermind it’s because I’m an Espurr isn't it?… (Trixie’s excitement turned to sadness in an instant)

Ludwig (Beldum): Can someone with arms come over and console my friend, please?

Zane (Sableye): HUGS!

(Sableye soars over the counters and slams into Ludwig, glomping him. He can’t see. He glomped the wrong person)


(Molly, as a Clefairy, walks past Alan, who is a Murkrow)

Molly (Clefairy): If it makes you feel better, I prefer you as a person.

Alan (Murkrow): (still just staring off into space, wide eyed and mind blown) First of all, I would hope so. Second...

(Alan doesn't finish that. He just looks in a mirror and starts making high pitch sounds)

Molly (Clefairy): Don't cuss.

Alan (Murkrow): I was about to.

(Molly teeters away. Alan is still being MIND***** by the experience of sight for the first time)


(Matteo, as Sandshrew, is crawling over Grace’s counter to talk to her. At the moment, Grace, as Magnemite is decorating her cake. It looks like a car)

Matteo (Sandshrew): Woah, Grace. That’s real cool.

(Grace just turns to Matteo and beeps a few times)

Matteo: … Was that you swearing at me and the show censoring it or are you actually just beeping?

(Grace beeps a few more times. It’s up in the air)

(Matteo moves over to Payton’s table next)

Matteo (Sandshrew): So hey! Look at that! My Sandshrew’s on your table and he’s not gonna destroy anything. I did it. He’s trained. (chuckles) …

Payton (Sneasel): … Get off my table before I stab you with myself. (holds up her claws)

Matteo (Sandshrew): It was a joke.

Payton (Sneasel): That’s why I’d stab you.

(Payton Sneasel just gets back to work. Matteo Sandshrew slowly lingers off to give her her space)


(Axel is trying to open the oven as a snake. He’s having a lot of trouble. He wraps around the handle and tries pushing his tail against the oven)

Axel (Ekans): Um.. A little HELP here?

(Nobody stops to help Ekans)

Axel (Ekans): … You know what. Forget it. Science is stupid and so is this challenge.

(Axel unravels himself from the oven handle and slithers out the door)

(Trixie Espurr notices Axel leaving. She decides to check up on him. Axel and Trixie have left the room)


(Alice is still talking to Bill as a Tyrunt. They’re chatting it up about science)

Alice (Tyrunt): Just think of the breakthroughs. Poison Heal can cure cancer. Moxie can kill depression. Shed Skin can cure alligator elbows.

Bill: Every minute I’m not working on this project is a minute I feel being wasted.

Alice (Tyrunt): So why allow this reality show to make a mockery of this experiment’s foundational basis?

Bill: … Same reason you’re competing.

Alice (Tyrunt) and Bill: Money.

(They continue to talk. The focus moves to Alice’s station… which hasn’t been touched since she’s started her conversation with Bill)


(Bolin, as Staravia, is pouring icing on his cake using his beak to hold a pan. Butterfree knocks into him accidentally. He holds the pan still and gently puts it down and turns to Butterfree)

Bolin (Staravia): Can you try and sabotage me later? I’m too busy doing better than you.

Natalie (Butterfree): Hey, I’m a flying type too right now, there should be a little more respect.

Bolin (Staravia): Still bug.

(Bolin ignores Natalie)

---> Natalie: UGH! What is his problem!?


=== Bill's Estate, Interior Hallway === (Axel and Trixie are out in the hallway. One Ekans and one Espurr. Trixie grabs his tail and pulls him to face her)

Trixie (Espurr): Hey. Axel. What’s wrong?

Axel (Ekans): Um… Nothing. This is just a dumb challenge. Go away.

(Axel unbinds his coils, revealing he has a spray paint can with him. He points it at the wall and bites the top, accidentally spraying paint into his mouth for a second)

Axel (Ekans): AUGH! OOH! EW! … Wait, I’m Poison Type. That didn’t hurt.

Trixie (Espurr): What are you doing with spray paint?

(Axel begins graffiting the wall. Trixie immediately lifts the can with her mind and tosses it)

Trixie (Espurr): Hey! This is Bill’s house! You can’t do that! That’s vandalism.

Axel (Ekans): (bored) It’s art. And he’ll thank me later when I add some zest to his steel cage of a home. Thank you very much.

Trixie (Espurr): That is NOT art. That’s just… ruining someone’s wall.

Axel (Ekans): Oh, and let me guess. You’re gonna tell me what IS art? Shamelessly promote your sappy little comic book that nobody’s ever even heard of?

(Trixie looks angry and crosses her arms. As an Espurr she just looks cute tho)

Axel (Ekans): Can I have my paint back so I can continue to make “not art”?

(Trixie lifts the can with her mind and slams it against Axel’s head. He falls over)




=== Cerulean City, Nugget Bridge === (Malika is lying on the edge of the bridge. She’s so bored. Nothing to do)

Malika: … (blows air out her mouth) …. (makes a THUMP with her vocals) …

(Malika starts rapping)

Malika: ♪ ♫Yo this is Malika, da master of Grass Type, I’m runnin low on steam and I’m straight out of hype. When will they be done working in Bill’s lab, if I get any more bored I’d go to rehab. Shroomish and Bounsweet, my main two buds. Cerulean City is a tub of crud.  ♪ ♫

(Malika sighs. She looks over. Misty is right next to her)

Malika: …

Misty: … You’re not wrong.

(The two fist bump)

Malika: …. Booooooooooored….

(Malika is NOT enjoying her day off)




(The Body Swap is over. Thank ARCEUS, that was horrible)

=== Bill’s Lab === (Everyone is now back to normal. All Pokemon in their Pokeballs and people back in their normal bodies. They’re all gathered at their tables where they’ve made their cakes)

Bill: So now that we’re done using my state of the art lab to make CAKES… let’s judge.

(Misty, Malika, Bill, Bud and Chris walk around with spoons to try out everyone’s cake)

Chris: Now! How was that for everyone?

Zane: That experience really made me appreciate the gift of sight.

Alan: …

Chris: So… not all of you even finished your cakes. So here’s a list of people who actually DID. Amber. Ryuma. Molly. Payton. Matteo. Grace. Bolin. Natalie. Ludwig and Trixie.

Malika: You all just baked CAKES for a challenge? Where’s the actual challenge?

(All just looks at Malika with glares of trauma)

Malika: …

Chris: To those who actually finished your cakes… You will be the only ones viable for Leader Immunity. Let’s test.


(Chris eats some of Molly, Ryuma and Trixie’s cake. Bud eats some of Grace’s, Ludwig’s and Payton’s. Misty eats some of Matteo’s and Bolin’s. Malika eats some of Natalie’s and Amber’s)

Chris: Molly’s tastes like love… which is an unfamiliar feeling to me. Good cake. Trixie’s is good. It’s shaped like an Espurr.

Trixie: I had myself for reference.

Chris: Ryuma’s is good… I found a scale in it though.

Ryuma: That happens when you FORCE PEOPLE INTO POKEMON’S BODIES.

Chris: Ryuma. There are KIDS watching.


Chris: Let’s just move on.

Misty: Matteo’s had some extra crunch. … Because of the sand. (Matteo looks nervous) Bolin’s was well done, but average. It was the tallest cake by far!

Bolin: (nods proudly and smiles) Mhmm.

Malika: … Oh, my turn? I dunno how to judge, man. I just like cake. (gives a thumbs up to Natalie and Amber)

Amber: (gives a thumbs up back) Thanks, pardner. (She whispers to Natalie) I coughed a hairball into mine. Think she noticed?

Natalie: (whispering) My frosting is actually silk. (Amber and Natalie both cringe)

(Malika is scarfing down Amber and Natalie's cakes. Natalie reaches out to say something but Amber gently pushes her hand down. Don't do it)

Bud: Ludwig’s was choppy and Payton’s was too cold. Ludwig’s didn’t really have a shape. Payton’s was in a bowl!

Payton: It’s ICE CREAM cake. It’s supposed to be in a bowl.

Bud: DON’T TRY AND BAMBOOZLE ME, WOMAN. (puts his arms behind his back) Grace, however, was the only one to decorate her cake in a manner far superior to everyone else’s… ... Which is the worst news I've heard all day, because I can't stand Grace.

Grace: Thanks for vocalizing that.

(Grace’s cake looks like a car. It has an open trunk with ice cream in the shape of an engine. It has passengers made of lollipops and windows made of thinly sliced chocolate. The wheels are cookies. This looks AMAZING)

Bud: … And for that... (Bud winces) I can't say it. I'll vomit. Arceus, I can't stand her.

Chris: (steps in) GRACE WINS!

Grace: … Seriously?

(Everyone claps for Grace. She did it. Grace smiles akwardly and waves to everyone, but has a look on her face that reads discomfort, which is a stark contrast from Grace's usual swagger)

---> Grace: Magnemite doesn’t have a conventional “conscious” like the rest of the Pokemon do, so technically we never switched bodies… … … So my Magnemite won that whole challenge by itself. … Which means I did NOT deserve that win… (Grace's discomfort fades and is replaced with a confident smirks) Buuuuuuuuut they don’t need to know that.

Grace: I mean… YAY!!! (Magnemite floats around her, ecstatic with its win)

Bud: GRACE is the winner of LEADER IMMUNITY. (Bud says as he glares at Grace)

Chris: WHICH… brings us to our LOSERS. Alan. Alice. Joey. Zane. Axel. Alibis?

Alan: I could see for the first time.

Zane: I was blind for the first time.

Axel: I had no limbs.

Joey: … I have no excuse… I was a Rattata… I could’ve baked a thousand cakes if I had focused enough. (shakes his head)

Chris: Well, we’re gonna take this to the Pokemon Gym, where we’ll decide which of you five will be on the chopping block…

(Alice, Alan, Zane, Joey and Axel all look… a little nervous)

---> Alice: … I talked with Bill the whole time. (giggles nervously) Scientists ramble. It happens.  (she becomes serious) But I’ll be darned if I’m going home in the name of scientific progress. … (pause) Actually, that’s a very fair reason to go home… (She stops) Nevermind.




(That challenge went by fast AS IT SHOULD HAVE)

=== Nugget Bridge === (. Ryuma is spending his leftover free time at the Nuggest Bridge, attempting to fish again. Amber passes him)

Amber: … You’re fishing again?

Ryuma: Yup.

Amber: But we don’t have a lot of time before we gotta head to the gym. ... (scoffs) Oh yeah, cuz when YOU fish, it takes no time at all.

(Ryuma reels in his line too fast. Nothing)

Amber: See?

(Amber walks off playfully. Ryuma rolls his eyes)

Ryuma: Hey Amber!

(Amber looks to Ryuma)

Ryuma: … Thanks for not being an alpha dou*** today and trying to get me eliminated.

Amber: I’d rather destroy you as a human than a Pokemon.

(Ryuma shrugs it off. Amber walks off)

---> Amber: I was half expectin him to throw the challenge just to spite me, or worse... try his hardest and be genuinely talentless. He didn't do either so he's alright. (Amber smiles and gives a thumbs up) Who knew things could turn for the better this quickly?


=== Cerulean City, Park === (Natalie, Zane, Alice, Ludwig, Trixie and Malika are gathered in the park together. This tight knit group of friends are feeding all of the cakes they made to their Pokemon… or what they made)

(Alice’s Tyrunt eats Ludwig’s cake in one bite. Gastly envelops the remains. Espurr just shovels the cake into its mouth without breaking a sweat. Butterfree is nibbling on the cake as Shroomish and Bounsweet devour it)

Alice: Zane, are you worried about going home?

Zane: Naw. If I leave, I’ll get to leave knowing that I had a chance of a lifetime and that I spent the entirety of it doing what I love best.

Malika: Which is?

Zane: I dunno. But I loved doing it!

Trixie: (frowning) I really don’t want to see either of you go. Alice, you’re so smart… and Zane, you’re so positive.

Ludwig: Well hopefully Joey, Alan or Axel goes.

Trixie: (huffs) I hope it’s Axel. It’s like he’s not even taking this game seriously. He’s just goofing around. He has no respect for any of us.

Alice: I’m sure he means well.

Trixie: (getting worked up really easily) He insulted my comic series. He thinks his graffiti is better, so that right there is delusion. Scientists don't support delusion, so agree with me, Alice. (looks to Ludwig) Right? I'm right, right?

Ludwig: (nodding) Yeah! (Trixie gestures to Ludwig and smiles at Alice)

Alice: I never said you were wrong.

Zane: To be fair, I’ve seen some BEAUTIFUL graffiti.

(Trixie just looks at Zane deadpan)

Natalie: The point being that Axel insulted you. He insulted me too. He's just a negative energy in this game who hasn't done anything and just criticzes the rest of us for doing things he's never even tried. (Natalie grumbles) He rags on Bugs a lot, but I bet he couldn't raise a Caterpie without losing his patience.

Malika: I’d take care of him… cept Grass is weak to Poison.

Ludwig: Well, Rock is very resistant to Poison, so if Axel has to face anyone, I hope it’s her. (nods to Alice)

(Alice nods solemnly, but she would prefer not to face anybody in the sudden death. That's not an ideal place to be at all...  They all get up and decide to head to the gym together)





=== Cerulean City, Pokemon Gym === (The gym has two sets of bleachers on boths sides, and a battlefield in the center. The battlefield is a pool with floating platforms on it)

(The cast sits in the bleachers as Misty, Bud, Bill and Chris stand before them)

Chris: Grace is the winner of Leader Immunity. However, the rest of you are up for grabs. Those of you who are safe include-

Bud: -I'm not learning their names, stop expecting me to read them aloud.

Chris: I wasn't gonna ask you this time.

Bud: Development.

Chris: Anyway, the following are safe. Amber … Ryuma … Molly … Bolin … Payton … Matteo … Ludwig … Trixie … Natalie … Alan … Zane. And then there were three…

(Axel. Joey. Alice)

Misty: Joey… You were very unfocused today, and you didn’t make a cake.

Joey: I made a cupcake. I accidentally ate it.

Misty: Axel… You vandalized Bill’s house.

(Trixie puts her hands in the air, happy that that little fact was caught)

Axel: It’s art.

Misty: The cake was supposed to be art.

Axel: (being a smart mouth) Who puts spray paint in a cake?

Misty: … (turns to Alice) Alice, you should honestly be off the hook. You spent the whole day talking productively with Bill about stuff that actually matters.

Alice: Which brings me to a question… What was the point of that challenge?

Misty: To see how well you can adapt as a trainer and a person. A Champion must always be willing to train, behave, and coordinate differently.

Chris: Nah, we did it because it was funny.

Misty: … (sighs)

Chris: So the drill goes as such… you three will make your pleas to the judges in the confessional booth.

(Chris turns to all of the current safe contestants)

Chris: And the rest of you can as well. Help your friends in the bottom three, or convince us that your enemies should go. Or both. Try and sway our decisions.


(Analysis Of Bottom Three - Episode 4)

---> Payton: Alice was easily sidetracked, and showed clear bias during the challenge. What kind of Champion do we want that’ll be so stupidly easy to distract? She didn’t even waste the challenge doing anything productive. Unlike Angie who actually DID something with her wasted time.

---> Molly: Joey baked a batch of cupcakes! He had SIX! He ate one, offered me one, and I selfishly offered another to Alan! I… I then ate another and so did Joey. I enabled and encouraged that. It’s MY fault Joey’s in the bottom three! Please spare him!

---> Ryuma: I’m looking at this from a “capability” perspective. Axel had NO arms… so as much as I’d love to condemn Axel and have him sent home so I can have a bunk to myself… I gotta put this on Joey and Alice.

---> Amber: (waves her hand dismissively) I got my alliance. Now the fun can REALLY begin. I don’t want ROCK Type sticking around. Alice is a tough girl and I gotta hand it to the feller, she’s got grit… But she used none of it today. Sorry, Alice.

---> Grace: Axel straight up ABANDONED the challenge. Worse than Angie did. He didn’t do it to help anyone, but instead to literally vandalize Bill’s House. Axel and I live in the same city so I bet I’ve seen some of his work before… And it was probably the BAD graffiti, and not the genuinely impressive kind. Yeah. I bet.

---> Ludwig: Axel gave up when the going got too rough. (holds up his journal) Need I even analyze that?

---> Trixie: Axel is a stuck-up pushy brat who needs a HARD reality check. (Trixie clenches her fists) AND should maybe hit the books a little more. For example (Trixie holds up her comic book series, SUCKER PUNCH) … Yes, I just used Axel’s fall as a shameless plug. If I ever go home, I at LEAST wanna put this out there.

---> Alan: Axel. Axel. Seems like your strategy isn’t working out too well for you today. Laying low entails quitting challenges, I guess… (sighs) But to be fair, he had no arms. What was he supposed to do?

---> Zane: Axel kind of scares me. Like, his personality… but his eyes are INTENSE, man! They’re red and- (Zane shakes his head, getting back on subject) Um… I don’t wanna throw anyone under the bus… … … But … Axel tried to graffiti Bill’s house… (upbeat) Maybe Bill will like it and make it a mural!

---> Matteo: … Um… (shrugs) Should I decide who to condemn by type? … (Matteo scratches his head) What is Ground weak to again? … Um… … … Normal? … Does Normal beat Ground? … I’d rather be a normal human being than a pile of dirt… (nods) Yeah, Normal beats Ground. That sounds about right. Yeah, Joey should go… Sorry kid.

---> Malika: Man, I wish I could have at least tasted something they made, but these three made… well, nothing. I wasn’t there for the challenge. All I know is that Axel had no limbs… Which kind of worries me.

---> Bolin: Natalie should go home because she’s an inferior liability to trainer status everywhere due to her Bug Type-
---> Chris: -Natalie’s not in the bottom three.
---> Bolin: … (sighs) Alice should go home because her esteemed genius should have been able to get her out of this predicament. Joey’s naive… but he can learn… Once he outgrows his weak Pokemon phase. Alice has one of the strongest as is. She has no excuse.

---> Natalie: (practically praying) Please please PLEASE Axel. Send him home. This is his SECOND time being in the bottom three and it’s only episode four.

---> Axel: (shrugs) Yeah, whatever. I’m here again. How can I not be when I had. no. arms.

---> Alice: (sighs) … Axel abandoned the challenge, gave up early, vandalized a man’s home. BILL’s home. He’s ungrateful for this opportunity he’s received… and I don’t think, I know he doesn’t deserve to be here. And if I have to be the one to eliminate him myself, so be it.

---> Joey: … (holds up his Rattata) No regrets!


(Input Submitted. Chris, Bud, Misty and Bill approach the cast after reviewing them)

Bill: You all had some very powerful insight. Thank you all. Some of you have the makings of an analyst’s mind.

(Ludwig and Alice roll in their seats, elated by the praise)

Misty: (holds up a Poffin) Alice. (Alice sits up at attention, collecting her calmness) You’ve proven to be a very capable player so far… What puts you here in the bottom three is the sheer shock at how you performed today. We expected… better. I absolutely have faith in you that you can.

Bud: Yeah, my speech won’t be so nice. (looks to Axel) You’re a twerp. No redeeming qualities.

Misty: He had no limbs.

Bud: Is that supposed to be a redeeming quality?

Chris: Joey! … Frankly, we’ve been getting calls from your family since day one. Dude, did you sign up for this show without even telling them?

Joey: … (smiles. A “maaaaaaaybe” smile)

Chris: … That is so unhinged. I love it. You’ve got gumption… but you still did terrible. BUT, Molly owned up that you weren’t completely at fault today, AND Axel and Alice both flubbed on actually DOING the challenge. You’re safe.

(Misty takes a poffin and tosses it to Joey)

Joey: WOO!!! (takes the poffin and feeds it to Rattata)

(Alice and Axel are left. Only one will make it)

Chris: Unfortunately, each time we do a challenge near a gym, we will occupy that gym for our elimination battles. Due to everyone’s typing, you’ll have your OPPONENT’s type advantage or disadvantage to worry about… and the benefits or consequences that the FIELD brings. We’re in Cerulean’s Gym. Therefore… water type.

(Alice and Axel look to the field. It’s a pool with platforms. Alice looks uncomfortable)

Alice: Chris. This is a pool. My Tyrunt can’t swim. Shall we move this outside, please? I feel like the odds are little.. shifted.

Chris: Oh ho ho… NOPE! BEGIN!




=== ELIMINATION BATTLE === (ROCK (Alice) vs POISON (Axel) Begin!)

(Alice and Axel take opposite sides of the battlefield. The two stand on the edges of the pool)

Axel: (looks tired and uncaring) You’re not the brainy science nerd I wanted to take down, but you’ll do.

(Alice immediately drops her worry and fear of the battlefied. She glares at Axel, ready to battle)

Alice: (coy) “Brainy science nerd”? Are there any other kinds? (Alice pulls out her Pokeball) And I wouldn’t get so cocky. It’s your own shortcomings that have landed you here in the bottom two.

Axel: The battlefield is a POOL. You’re ROCK type. The more you talk now the more words you’ll have to eat when you lose.

Alice: Oh, I’m very well aware my chances of winning are slim. … (winks) But I’m not above going out with the final word.


Alice: TYRUNT, GO!

Axel: EKANS, GO!

(Ekans, the snake Pokemon, and Tyrunt, the T-Rex Pokemon. They both land on a platform on the pool)

Alice: You know, in the few seconds we’ve spent summoning our Pokemon, I’ve been thinking about what you said-


Alice: It’s a good one.

Chris: … Fine.

Alice: (to Axel) I’ve been thinking about what you said. The pool. The water. My Tyrunt should really watch his step. Otherwise he’s in for a bad experience.

Axel: Um… yeah.

Alice: … How about we share that experience? Sharing is caring after all. (yells) TYRUNT, STEALTH ROCK!

(Tyrunt shakes its head vigorously. Rocks fly from its fur tuft and land all over the pool. The ones that land in the pool disintegrate. The ones that land on the platforms STAY there… awaiting anyone to land on them)

Ryuma: That was smart. Stealth Rock makes it so that any Pokemon that steps on them gets hurt. She basically added a layer of spikes to the battlefield.

Amber: (tips her hat) I gotta hand it to her. She’s tough for an egghead.

Natalie: With the rocks on the platforms… neither of them can move from the one they’re on.

(Indeed, Ekans and Tyrunt are on separate platforms across from one another. They can’t move. Tyrunt would risk falling in the pool. Ekan would risk getting punctured by Stealth Rock)

Axel: Hm… Smart move.

(Only long range attacks will hit each other)


(Ekans proceeds to SCREAM at the top of its lungs at Tyrunt. Tyrunt shudders)

Alice: (crosses her arms and smiles) Was that a tactical lowering of defense or just a scream, because both are justified in this predicament.

Axel: Stop quipping me!

Grace: He lowered her defense. If her Tyrunt falls in that pool, she’s doomed.

Axel: Now, let’s finish this. EKANS. (Axel leans over and whispers to Ekans)

Alice: Two can play at that game. (Alice whispers to her Tyrunt)

Zane: What are they both up to?

Payton: We’ll find out in a minute, moron.


(Ekans begins squirming… I dunno, gangster-like? If you can picture that? Confusing you? Ask Tyrunt. Tyrunt’s attack goes up, but gets confused in the process)

Alice: Tyrunt! Do your thing!

(Tyrunt is confused, but pulls through it to puts its tail lightly in the water and start propelling its platform closer to Ekans)

Axel: Uh oh.

Matteo: Oh man. If that Tyrunt reaches Ekans, it’s doomed.

Zane: Which one?

Payton: Gee. The snake or the DINOSAUR???

(Axel bides his time. He waits for Tyrunt to bring its platform seemingly all the way there. Ekans stays in its place)

Axel: Wait for it… … EKANS! You know what to do!

(Ekans leaps off the platform and submerges into the water, where it can safely swim. Ekans swims underneath Tyrunt’s platform)

Alice: You’re trying to get Ekans to flip Tyrunt’s footing? That’ll never work. Tyrunt’s far too heavy.

Axel: Who said Ekans was gonna flip it?

Alice: (smirks) Well TYRUNT certainly isn’t. Stay put, Tyrunt! … (notices something off) … T-Tyrunt?

(Tyrunt is still confused from Swagger. The Tyrunt noticed the Ekans went UNDER his platform. The Tyrunt, in a fit of confusion uses one of its signature moves, and due to its boosted attack… it does major damage)

(Tyrunt uses STOMP. He flat out destroys the platform he’s on, shattering it to large plastic pieces. It’s too late)

(Tyrunt falls in the pool. It thrashes about in the water. Alice immediately summons it back to its Pokeball, not letting any aftermath play out)

Alice: TYRUNT RETURN! That’s enough! (Tyrunt is back in his ball) He would have K.O.’d in an instant. I concede.

Axel: (puts his arms behind his head) Can’t even think of a good quip right now and I don’t need to, cuz I won.




(Alice is already walking towards the door. She’s stopped by Ludwig, Trixie, Malika, Natalie, Grace and Zane)

Ludwig: You’re the only person here who understands me when I go into a scientific bout.

Natalie: You… You gave me Anorith… You gave him life because you believed in my cause…

Grace: We’re bunkmates…

Alice: (smiles curtly) I’ll miss you all too… But to be fair, this wasn’t a loss at all.

Zane: Thennnnn why are you eliminated?

Alice: While talking to Bill.. he offered me a position as his assistant! I told him I’d consider if I were to be eliminated… and, well… I guess that came sooner than I thought.

Grace: WOW! You get to work with Bill!? Girl, that’s awesome!

Malika: (patting Alice on the back) Look at my nerdy pal-ette. Climbing her way up the smart ladder.

Alice: Good luck, everyone.

(Alice stands at the door)

Alice: But scientifically speaking, luck doesn’t entirely sustain consistency… How about … (she smirks) “Win this like I know you all can”.

(Alice steps out into the light)

(Farewell Alice)




=== Trailers === (Everyone is walking back to their trailers. Payton is walking beside Matteo)

Payton: I have some ideas for you and Sandshrew. I’ll write them up and slip them under your door. You’re to do all of them.

Matteo: Ohhhhhh But that’s wooooooork.

(Payton pats Matteo on the back)

Payton: We all gotta work sometimes. Start breathing it, pretty boy.

(Matteo enters his trailer. Grace walks over to the truck driven by Bud and Chris. Payton walks away. Bud gets out of the car at the same time she walks past)

Grace: Hey Bud. Our cakes were better than anything you’ve made for us thus far.

Bud: (shouts) STOP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY UNBIASEDNESS DURING JUDGING TIME! I'd spit on your cake if I could! You're lucky I'm a PROFESSIONAL!!! (Bud spits offscreen. A bucket clatters)

(Bud grumbles and gets back in the truck where it’s safer. Grace chuckles and walks off)

---> Grace: Bud and I like to exchange witty banter. All in good fun.

---> Bud: (loathe) I will stab Grace and forget to bury the body. …


=== Nugget Bridge === (Ryuma is fishing again. Amber approaches)

Amber: Well. We both survived. Think we would have been on the chopping block if we were fighting again?

Ryuma: I was a little worried you were gonna double cross me.

Amber: If I were to double cross you, I’d at LEAST do it in my own body. I already told ya.

Ryuma: It’s harder to stay mad at you in THIS body. (gestures to Amber’s own physique)

Amber: (tips her hat) Now THAT… was a flirt.

Ryuma: I’m not gonna lie, Amber. You’re lucky you’re pretty because you’re kind of scary.

Amber: You’re lucky you’re cute or else I’d prove your point and toss you off this bridge.

Ryuma: Hehe. Fair enough. (Ryuma reels in the line too fast again. Nothing)

Amber: … … … So do you want fishing lessons before or after you have a conniption?

Ryuma: … If you think you have something to teach me about fishing, then go for it.

(Amber sits next to Ryuma and the two hold the fishing line together)

Amber: Well most of it is just chatting it up with whoever’s nearby.

Ryuma: What else are you supposed to do?

Amber: … NOT reel in the line. (she stops Ryuma’s hands from reeling it in. He almost did it by impulse) Yeah, like that.

Ryuma: Alright. Alright. You got me.

Amber: I typically do.

Ryuma: …

Amber: …

Ryuma: … Think I’m cute, huh?

(Amber grumbles aloud to herself)

---> Amber: (defeatedly) I guess this is how it goes, huh. Guy and girl get along, do the same things, pop the same amount of blood vessels when mad, yada yada. … (Amber looks a little distant) … I guess this might be happening.

---> Ryuma: … We moved fast… (smirks) No complaints here.


=== Route 24 === (Route 24 is just outside Bill’s House. Ludwig is sitting on a bench outside the estate. He’s scribbling in a notepad with crumbled up pieces of paper all around him)

Ludwig: (mumbling to himself) No no no. That’ll never work. If… if she’s available, then I can also see about him, but is it too early? Can I- no no no. That’s wishful thinking. Get that out of here-

????: That’s littering.

(Ludwig looks up and sees Axel. He’s shaking a can of spray paint)

(Ludwig proceeds to pick up all of the pieces of paper he plopped onto the ground and crumbled up)

Ludwig: Coming from the vandal.

Axel: At least me and the stuff I create are pretty to look at.

Ludwig: What is your deal with me? What did I ever do to you?

(Ludwig scurries away, seeming almost frantic. Trixie walks by, but Ludwig pays her no mind. Trixie looks in the direction Ludwig ran from. Axel. She tenses up)

Trixie: Did you say something to him?

Axel: (sarcastic) Yeah, I divided by zero and his brainiac mind exploded.

Trixie: … (Trixie cuts the crap. She walks over and stands inches from Axel’s face, threateningly staring at him) For real.

Axel: (shrugs) He was muttering to himself. Weirded me out. Left THAT behind.

(Axel gestures to a notebook that Ludwig dropped)

Axel: And what? Are you concerned about his feelings? Scientists block that stuff out. It’s all about results and data to them. They don’t care who they hurt or annoy. Why waste breath on someone who’ll just make you into a number?

Trixie: Okay, you’re generalizing, and that’s not even a fair generalization to make.

(Axel walks over and picks up Ludwig’s journal. He starts looking through it)

Trixie: Hey! That’s his!

Axel: (shows a page to Trixie) What I tell ya?

(Trixie looks at the book and sees… strategies. Charts and criteria. Ludwig has information on every single contestant just purely through observation. Strengths, weaknesses. Everything so tediously calculated and thorough)

Trixie: … What… is this?

Axel: Looks like he’s in a bit of a tight squeeze since his friend-sorry wrong choice of words. Since his “competitive ally”, Alice, got the boot.

Trixie: …

(All of this DOES look like data on how to get through the game. Ludwig was in the middle of figuring out who he would ally with next, since he already had an entire game plan laid out before him. Alice’s departure threw some of it off)

Trixie: … I’m sure he can explain.

Axel: You and I both know he doesn’t need to.

(Axel walks away as Ludwig runs back. He sees his book in Trixie’s hands)

Ludwig: Trixie! Thank you! That’s mine. You found it!

(Ludwig takes the book)

Ludwig: See you tomorrow.

(Ludwig walks off. Trixie just looks… distant)

---> Ludwig: (sighs) Alice went home today… I came up with an entire formula for how we’d make it to the end… but with her gone… T-that’s all done. I need to rethink, reevaluate, and recalculate EVERYTHING. (sighs) … It’s hard work.

---> Trixie: Ludwig’s an overthinker… That’s all I got from this. Axel is just trying to turn us against each other. (Trixie leers) I am not letting that venom coated weasel succeed in ruining my time here.

(Trixie sits down on the bench and contemplates to herself. All of a sudden, a flash of light occurs)

(An Abra is now in front of her)

Trixie: …

Abra: …

Trixie: … (slowly reaches for a Pokeball)

Abra: …

Trixie: … Don’t… run…

Abra: …

(Trixie slams the Pokeball at the Abra. It’s brought inside. She catches it)

Trixie: … (smiles) … Well that was a pick-me-up. Better than a bloody nose too.

(Trixie walks back to the trailers)


=== Cerulean Cave, Exterior === (A cave hidden behind the gorge of rocks on the other side of the river. Trixie stands at the entrance. She’s clutching her Espurr in her arms)

Trixie: … Mewtwo used to roam here… … So maybe… Maybe I can focus my psychic powers more by training a bit in here…

(Trixie enters the cave)

(But she’s being watched… a dark, silhouetted stranger leers at her as she enters. The same dark stranger that messed with Ross’ map… )

???: ….

(They vanish)




=== Inside Bill’s House === (Bill has made tea for himself. Alice is sitting on a couch. They talk)

Bill: So tell me more about the fundamentals of inderdimensionality?

(There’s a knock on the door)

Alice: I’ll get it.

(Alice opens up the door. She tilts her head and smiles. A different stranger entirely awaits at the doorstep)

Alice: Oh! Hello there. Can we help you?

?????: Um… Is this… Bill’s House?

Alice: Why yes. Would you like to come in?

?????: … If I may.

(The mysterious character sits down and takes a cup of tea immediately handed to her by Bill. She is made right at home. She sits down in a chair)

Alice: You’re shivering.

(Indeed, the person is shivering)

?????: Where I’m from, it’s much warmer. I’m not used to the cold yet.

Bill: Where do you say you’re from?

?????: Alola.

Alice: That’s quite far! What brings you all the way here from Alola?

?????: … I was wondering if you could help…

Bill: And what’s your name?

(The girl has bright blonde hair tied into a long ponytail. She has a small backpack and a skirt. She haz wide eyes and a sweet, trustworthy demeanor)

?????: … My name’s Lillie.




Molly MacGrady - Fairy typeDedenne#035 Clefairy 
Zane Lute - Ghost type#092 Gastly#302 Sableye
Alan Collins - Dark type#198 Murkrow
Malika Carter - Grass type#761 Bounsweet#285 Shroomish
Amber McLeod - Fire type:vulpix:
Trixie Masterson - Psychic type#677 Espurr#063 Abra 
Payton Rothman - Ice type#215 Sneasel 
Grace Cirillo - Electric type#081 Magnemite
Joey Young - Normal type#399 Bidoof#019 Rattata 
Axel Kens - Poison type#023 Ekans#032 Nidoran m. 
Bolin Temirov - Flying type#397 Staravia
Ludwig Von Malmar - Steel type#374 Beldum 
Ryuma Scifo - Dragon typeSophie Sprite
Natalie Harlow - Bug typeButterfree #347 Anorith 
Matteo Rossi - Ground type #027 Sandshrew

Chapter Text



♪♫ ANGIE’S AFTERMATH! You know it’s truuue! It’s time to learn about meeee and yoooou! We’ll sit down, drink some tea and have some fun! We’ll chat for hours til the day is done! ♪♫

(Angie is in a kictehn, ironing, dressed like a housewife. She looks at the floor where there are mudprints on the ground. She rolls her eyes and smiles at the camera)


♪♫ OH! Angie’s Aftermath is such a thrill! The action’s packed so that you can’t sit still! It’s a fun time that you won’t forget! I have not paid off my taxes yet!! ♪♫

(Angie walks through the front door wearing a button up shirt, a hat and long khakis and a mustache, also carrying a suitcase. She puts her coat on a coat hanger and smiles at the camera)


♪♫ Angie’s Aftermath! Oh, what a blast! I broke my arm last week and have a cast! It itches really bad I swear to god. I’ll use a tree branch as a scratching rod! ♪♫

(Angie is sitting on a pink bed with a ponytail, shorts and a crop top. She’s lying on her stomach as she yaps on a pink rotary phone. She looks at the camera and smiles)


♪♫ Angie’s Aftermath! It won’t be long! Forgot to bring the lyrics to the song! I’ll just keep singing to this nifty bop, and just keep going till they make me-♪♫

(Audio of the singer being tackled and equipment falling over as the upbeat tune still plays)





=== The Sevii Islands === (The Sevii Islands are a group of islands that each encompass their own lore and lush distinctive habitats)

(On one of the islands, on a beach, a talk show is set up. A girl in a tailored suit with a Makuhita in a bow tie wave at the camera)

(A table with a tea set, two large red, leather chairs, and the ocean in the background make up this set)

Angie: Welcome back everybody! Today we have a very special guest! What makes her special? Well, she’s an old member of the first season’s cast of REGION TROTTERS, Kanto Catastrophes!

(Angie listens in to a fake earpiece)

Angie: What’s that? … ALL of our guests are old members of the first season’s cast of REGION TROTTERS, Kanto Catastrophes? … Well what am I supposed to say? She’s not special? That’s hogwash! She certainly is!

(Angie pauses)

Angie: … (tosses away her fake earpiece) Talking to oneself is unhealthy.

(Makuhita waddles in with his bowtie. He smiles at Angie)

Angie: You’re right, Makuhita, I should consult an actual professional… AND IT’S A GOOD THING WE’RE INTERVIEWING ONE! Let’s bring her on in here!

(Angie explains)



Angie: Rock Type! Alice is a force to be reckoned with… Well, technically a force you SHOULDN’T reckon with, to be absolutely honest. She’s a powerhouse. She can mine out a fossil faster than I can fall down a staircase with a considerable running start. That’s fast. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome ALICE!

(A picture of Alice comes up)

Angie: That’s right, Alice!



(Alice walks in from elsewhere. She sits down at the tea table)

Alice: Angie!

(Angie shuffles over and hugs Alice. Angie then leaps onto her own chair. Alice takes a seat)

Angie: Alice! Welcome to Tea Time with Angie! Or Angie’s Aftermath! I dunno what this is to be honest.

Alice: Oh, tea.

Angie: That’s right! I figured someone as sophisticated and smart as yourself would like some tea.

Alice: I drink protein shakes. (Alice reaches into a small backpack and pulls out some protein shakes)

Angie: … … … Alpha nerd. (Alice tosses Angie one)

Alice: (coyly) You know it. (back to being a gracious guest) My best friend back home makes me drink them. I’m addicted. (chuckles)

Angie: And who’s your friend?

Alice: Korrina. She’s the Gym Leader of Shalour City. Fighting Type.

Angie: Wow! Not everyday people get to be close friends with Gym Leaders. Roxanne won’t even look at me.

Alice: Now I’m sure if you-

Angie: -Approach her? Nah. Roxanne doesn’t wanna talk to me since… the incident. (looks off into the distance)

Alice: … … … Care to elaborate?

Angie: LOL NOPE! This is MY interview, silly. You’re the one answering questions.

(Alice smirks and leans back in her chair. She’s humored)

Alice: Alright, well what do you want to know?

Angie: Tell me about being BILL’s assistant. I missed the episode where I got to swap bodies with Pokemon! Makuhita was livid.

(Makuhita kicks sand in the background in fury)

Alice: Why?

Angie: My arms are longer and he feels I have an unfair advantage at executing more “profound dabs”. (whispers) It’s a sore subject for the guy.

Alice: Awww. (Alice ponders) It’s not difficult at all to install cybernetic limb enhancers for Makuhita to don outside of battle.

(Makuhita is now sitting on Alice’s lap smiling at her. It likes what it hears)

Angie: Could you really?

Alice: (pets the Makuhita) But I make those for disabled Pokemon only. “Dabbing” is a little… unconvincing. Sorry to get your hopes up.

(Makuhita saunters off)

Alice: So… (looks to Angie) Bill and I have actually started a brand new project together.

Angie: Ooh! What’s that!? Spill!

Alice: You see… We had a guest come to our house with an interesting case. A relative of theirs underwent frayed dimensional travel and inter-cosmic inhibition.

Angie: Sounds like what I get every time I eat at Taco Bronzong.

Alice: (chuckles) So we’re helping her to clear the symptoms from her relative so she can awaken properly.

Angie: Properly?

Alice: You see, … her mother is in a slumber of sorts. She occasionally wakes up… but is quickly pulled back into a dream-like state. She’s been internally poisoned, a remnant of her interdimensional travel.

Angie: Wow!

Alice: And so Bill and I have set our sights on this new phenomenon. You see, the mother was taken to an alternate dimension by… creatures. Creatures unlike Pokemon. They’re called Ultra Beasts. Bill and I are beginning our research together. The girl who came and informed us is actually well versed in the laboratory. She claims to have been an assistant once herself, just like I am now.

Angie: So what else can you tell us?

Alice: Not much at all. We’re still in the groundworks. (winks at the camera) But more will unfold over time.

Angie: … (looks at the camera) And that’s all we have for today, folks! (waves) SEE YOU NEXT TIME! … (Angie beams a smile and leans over in her chair. Makuhita catches the chair before it falls all the way over)



Angie played by ANGIE
ALICE played by ALICE
Host played by ANGIE
MC played by ANGIE
Dapper Chick played by ANGIE
Hot Beast played by ANGIE
Queen Of The Got Dang World played by ANGIE-

(Angie is tackled as she continues to make faulty credits)




(End Of Segment)

Chapter Text

REGION TROTTERS: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 5

Molly MacGrady - Fairy typeDedenne#035 Clefairy 
Zane Lute - Ghost type#092 Gastly#302 Sableye
Alan Collins - Dark type#198 Murkrow
Malika Carter - Grass type#761 Bounsweet#285 Shroomish
Amber McLeod - Fire type:vulpix:
Trixie Masterson - Psychic type#677 Espurr#063 Abra 
Payton Rothman - Ice type#215 Sneasel 
Grace Cirillo - Electric type#081 Magnemite
Joey Young - Normal type#399 Bidoof#019 Rattata 
Axel Kens - Poison type#023 Ekans#032 Nidoran m. 
Bolin Temirov - Flying type#397 Staravia
Ludwig Von Malmar - Steel type#374 Beldum 
Ryuma Scifo - Dragon typeSophie Sprite
Natalie Harlow - Bug typeButterfree #347 Anorith 
Matteo Rossi - Ground type #027 Sandshrew


=== Region Trotters Truck Interior === (Chris and Bud are sitting in the main van as they’re driving through the night. This van pulls along the two trailers containing the castmates. Chris is boredly sitting in the passenger seat as Bud focuses on the road ahead of them)

Chris: Isn’t this nice? A lovely evening of driving through the countryside to give our contestants more obstacles to potentially die from?

Bud: Speak for yourself. There could be MORE than just the two of us if we were allowed to have Pokemon.

Chris: Bud. You know we’re not allowed. We’re banned from owning Pokemon... (looks ominously out the window) due to our past.


Chris: (looks to Bud) Well what Pokemon would you even want to catch? I’d have a Rayquaza, or a Mewtwo.

Bud: (sniffles) … I’d want an Igglybuff.

Chris: … Really?


(Chris decides to turn on the radio. This is an awkward conversation)

Bud: Of sure! Turn on the radio, clearly I'm not interesting enough!

Chris: I was being subtle about it, but yeah.

(Right off the bat, the two overhear the car radio say something pretty… neat)

Radio Voice: (voice) This just in! A shiny has been spotted in ROCK TUNNEL! Hikers and Pickickers have been ushered out by the overwhelming amount of ACE TRAINERS. Authorities wait by to hear who will catch it and promptly try to report them for any number of convuluted reasons in an attempt to attain custody of the Pokemon.

Chris: … (grins maliciously) We’re SUPPOSED to be in Vermillion City for a boot camp challenge from Serge… buuuuuuut I kind of like this idea better.

(Chris and Bud chuckle, both now on the same page, bonding over throwing horrific challenges at their contestants)


=== Girl’s Trailer === (The girls are all asleep in their trailers. Trixie suddenly jolts awake)

Trixie: W-WHAT!?

Malika: (looks up at Trixie from the bottom bunk) Huh? Wha-... (Malika rubs her eyes) Yo, Trixie, what’s up?

Trixie: I … I don’t know… I just felt something… I’m not sure.

Malika: (sits up) Oooh. Psychic stuff, huh? (grinning) Reading the future? Scanning our minds? Hocus pocus etcetera?

Trixie: (bites her lip) Um… yeah. All of that.

Malika: So what'd you feel just now? Good stuff or bad stuff?

Trixie: … I THINK good stu-

(VWOOM!!! Suddenly everyone awakens and screams as the van violently rocks back and forth)


=== Boy’s Trailer === (The boys are all asleep in their bunks. Suddenly, the trailer starts to rock as well. The trailer is hitting massive bumps, and the contestants all fly out of their beds and land in a huge pile in the center of the room)

(Ryuma, Joey, Alan, Ludwig, Matteo, Zane, Bolin and Axel all squirm and free themselves as the trailers come to a more cohesive stand-still)

(Zane is sitting on Axel, who practically peels off of his back. Bolin’s ponytail gets caught around Joey’s face. Ryuma awakens and shoves Matteo off of him)

Ryuma: What’s going on!?

Zane: A surprise party?

Axel: Uninvite me now!

(Another bump occurs. Zane falls on Axel once more. Everyone collapses once again)


=== Girl’s Trailer === (The same thing happened to the girls. They’re all holding onto stuff around the room, trying not to fall over. Amber, Payton, Trixie, Natalie, Grace, Molly and Malika are looking around fearfully and annoyed)


Molly: Chriiiis! This can't be protocol, dear!

Grace: (yells) HEY BUD!!! If we hit a flat tire, all you had to do was ASK me to fix it!

Bud: (voice) NEVER!!!!

---> Trixie: Huh… (smiles) I think I predicted that whole incident without even knowing! … But does that really count as "tapping into my psychic powers" that I'm not entirely sure I HAVE yet? ... (Trixie grimaces)

(Everyone is lying in a pile. The trailer has come to a full stop. They’re all safe now. Amber holds up Malika and Trixie by their arms)

Amber: You two okay?

Malika: Yup!

Trixie: Thank you!

(Amber promptly drops them onto the ground and moves to help out the others. She helps up Grace next)

Amber: Up you go, Outlet Lass.

(Grace yanks her arm away as soon as she makes eye contact with Amber)

Grace: I didn't ask for your help. I can get off the ground on my won.

Amber: ‘Scuse me? What’s got YOUR grill? (pause) Oh. You’re still in a hoot over our scuffle in Viridian Forest, aren't ya? You know what we call Tauros’ who bear grudges back on my farm? We call em brunch. (Grace narrows her eyes) The MATURE thing to do is say "thank you" and possibly accept an alliance offer-

(Grace has already walked away. Amber curls her lips in annoyence)

Payton: (walks up to Amber with deadpan) Wow, rejected. You should internalize that, take it personally, hate yourself and quit or something, I dunno.

(Amber turns and glares at Payton)

---> Grace: I’ve been told I don’t know how to “let stuff go”. One time a client told me I’d be a hit with the boys if I wore a pretty dress… Keep in mind, I’m a MECHANIC and they said this to me in the WORKPLACE. … (Grace smirks) So I planted a tiny, self-crafted detonator that flattened all of their tires exactly a month past the refund period so they wouldn't suspect it was me. And if they did, they can't get the refund anyway. … But the paint job they asked for was beautiful! (kisses her fingertips)


=== Route 10 === (A route separated by the Rock Tunnel in two parts. At the northern part of the route, there is a Pokemon Center and a large entrance to a very elaborate cave system)

(Multiple Ace Trainers walk around, each rushing in and out of the tunnel, looking for the shiny Pokemon mentioned on the radio)

(Chris drives up on his truck, pulling behind the trailers. The cast flops out of the back and all land in a giant heap in front of the lone Pokemon Center in the wild. Many Ace Trainers watch this arrival in confusion. Some angered due to the realization that MORE people are here to hunt for the shiny)

Chris: (steps out of the van) Not to worry… We are all here!

(The cast stands up, collecting themselves)

Grace: You said we were going to Vermillion City. This is outside Rock Tunnel.

Chris: I know! We switched!

(A few of the castmates look a little shocked by this. Some aren’t happy)

Ludwig: WHAT!? … B-but I was summarizing what all of our potential challenges would be and planning accordingly! Now I have to go back and redo ALL of that!

Chris: This might dissapoint you, Ludwig, but I'm winging most of this game, so good luck with those predictions.

Matteo: (adjusting his hearing aid, since he just got up) So … our challenge is actually now in ROCK TUNNEL?

Grace: I guess so. But does Surge, or whoever we're meeting in Vermillion, know we switched challenges?

Chris: Nope. Eager to impress the Electric Gym Leader, Grace?

Grace: (looking to the side, she crosses her arms) I don’t need a Gym Leader’s approval.

Ludwig: (worriedly) Ohhhh dear. Chris. You shouldn’t make Surge wait.

Chris: He’ll get over it. You see, someone on the radio mentioned a SHINY Pokemon being loose in Rock Tunnel.

(Everyone gasps)

Natalie: (groans) Oh NO.

(Natalie looks at all of the Ace Trainers. They’re parading in and out of the cave with their Pidgeots, Gravelers, Dodrios, Hitmonchans, etc. Powerful pokemon. All crowding inside this small cave beating up poor frail wild Pokemon just to weed out the Shiny)

Natalie: Oh HELL no!

(Natalie rushes inside of the trailer for a moment)

---> Amber: I’ve never seen a shiny before! Luckily, I plan on setting my sights on that sucker and making him an eyesore for ALL to see… (pause) … Dang, they’re right. I DO sound like I’m always flirting.

---> Ludwig: The chances of catching a shiny are incredibly rare. I tried the Masuda Method once. Buuuut it just ended with me filling the entire house with perfect IV stat Magnemites. I had to be grounded in the garage since they took over my room, AND every wall outlet in town.

---> Molly: I’ve seen a shiny on my travels. I once saw a shiny Furfrou in Kalos, though. It had the most beautiful fur… Unfortunately, I encountered it in a hair studio… where its owner was DYEING its fur… … (Molly seems annoyed) I wish I demanded an explanation at the time.

---> Ryuma: I see a shiny Pokemon every year. Once a year, the people of Seafolk Village will have a grand fishing contest, where we all fish for days until we find a shiny Pokemon. … I’ve never won, but every year it’s the same. A Shiny Magikarp that we sell off to a shiny enthusiast so that we can use the money to make the town bigger. Since it’s all one big dock we’re not harming the environment. … Good town.

(Natalie rushes out of the cabin with a protest sign in both hands, and a sign strapped to her chest. They say “Don’t Whine For A Shine” “Weak Does Not Equal Bleek” and “Shinies Have Friends Too”)

Natalie: (yelling loudly at the Ace Trainers) QUIT HARMING INNOCENT WILD POKEMON!!! The shiny’s not worth it! LEAVE THEM ALONE!

Chris: Natalie. Stop. You’re embarassing all of us.

(The Ace Trainers point at Natalie and laugh at her. She's making a big deal out of this)

Natalie: So we’re just gonna knock out hordes of perfectly satisfactory Pokemon all for the sake of catching a SHINY? It’s a different color, so what?

Chris: Natalie. ZIP IT. You’re ruining the fun.

Natalie: Ruining the fun? When people refused to give up their seats on the bus based on the color of their skin, were they “ruining the fun”? Were the Unovian people “ruining the fun” when they tossed the Kalos tea into the harbor? Did the many prevalent historic marches “ruin the fun” of an unjust government? (An American flag waves in the background) Activism is meant to tear down the jestful and cruel habits and binding governmental oppressions in foul swoops and marches of solidarity. Activism has shaped this country. It’s forced the hands of politicians, it’s put higherups under pressure, it assures the oppressed that they’re not alone and that numbers will and shall and ALWAYS have increased once the TRUTH is out! Activism has led to an age where women could vote, where people of color can drink from the same water fountains! I refuse to stand down because I’m shaking the status quo! I’ll shake it until it crumbles down, and if it falls on top of me and smothers me and silences my voice, I know others will be there to carry my message onward! I will not be silenced so that the “fun” can continue!

(... The cast just starts applauding. Not what they expected early morning, but here it is happening)

(Chris points at the American flag. Zane and Malika are holding it and waving it behind Natalie)

Chris: … What flag is that?

Natalie: … (looks at it) … I have no idea.

(America doesn’t exist in this universe)

Chris: … Okay, fair enough to all of that… But it’s just a shiny Pokemon.

(Natalie grumbles but concedes. She’s not gonna be able to stop this challenge from happening)

---> Natalie: You want a shiny? Get a Pokemon that can swim, buy a bath bomb and call it a day.

Chris: The point of this challenge is simple. Find the shiny and catch it. Whoever does so may KEEP it. Yes, even if it doesn’t match your type pool.

(Everyone gasps again)

Chris: Yup! So… here’s another deal. There’s a lot of ACE TRAINERS here… and Ace Trainers are just talentless hacks who think they’re too good for the Pokemon League so all they do is run around and beat little kids to feel better about their meaningless trainer class.

(An Ace Trainer walks by)

Ace Trainer: That’s… not true at all.

Chris: Go away before I hit you with my truck just to feel better about myself.

(The Ace Trainer scurries off)

Chris: So… to make sure you don’t get pummeled, we’re gonna pair everyone up in groups of two! Power in numbers! The groups are…


Chris: Yes, Natalie. I purposely paired you with Bolin. Bolin, keep her from strangling an Ace Trainer. And make sure she actually does the challenge.

Natalie: I won’t strangle anyone, geez!

Chris: Fine. Bolin. Keep her from annoying any Ace Trainer.

(Bolin picks up Natalie and starts to walk her away. She’s over his shoulders)

Natalie: I did NOTHING to warrant this!


Chris: You will all be traveling together. Any questions?

Joey: (raises hand) … Is it a shiny Rattata?

Chris: No.

Joey: (to Matteo) Then you can have it if we catch it. (Matteo smiles)

Alan: Yeah, how are we supposed to decide WHO keeps it when we finally catch it?

Chris: … (shrugs and grins)

Alan: … …

Chris: … I dunno, Alan.

(Alan takes that answer)

Chris: Now, who’s ready to rumble!?

(The entire cast cheers. Chris blows an air horn. The cast all rush into Rock Tunnel together, except for Grace)

Grace: … Annnnd because I have leader immunity, I don’t get to compete today… soooo what can I do?

Chris: Mingle with the Ace Trainers or just take a nap. I dunno. Whatever you want.

(Chris walks off. Grace just looks around… before she gets an idea)


(Axel looks upset at the revelation that ZANE is his partner. Zane runs over and puts his arm around Axel)

Zane: NICE! Ghost and Poison! We’re team Toxic Nightshade! Or Team Phantom Hemlock. Or Team Bubble Boo.

(Axel pushes Zane’s arm off of him. He walks off. Axel doesn’t say anything to Zane. Zane shrugs and rushes to keep up)


(Teams begin strategizing. Ludwig and Trixie move to a secluded area)

Trixie: My type is very Special Attack based while yours is physical, so we got lucky.

Ludwig: I don’t like to see anything as luck.

Trixie: … Destiny?

Ludwig: No. Just a fortuitous happening.

Trixie: I’m psychic, remember? (winks)

Ludwig: I say this in jest but also with serious undertones. (Ludwig raises his shoulders) Arrrrrre you?

(He’s got her there. Ludwig knows she's not fully trained yet. Ludwig pulls out his journal. His strategy book that Trixie is familiar with)

Ludwig: So, with the two of us together we should definitely cover those fields. I suggest we start at the eastern-most portion of the cave since we don’t want to-

Trixie: -Maybe we should just wing it, Ludwig. We don't even know what kind of Pokemon the shiny is.

Ludwig: Trixie, I’m a planner. I don’t like to waltz into these kind of situations without some kind of … arrangement.

Trixie: Shinies are animals, just like any other Pokemon. Animals don’t plan, and if we’re gonna catch one then we can't plan either.

Ludwig: … (sighs) … Alright, I’ll take a crack at that ... easy-to-follow, difficult-to-pull-off idea of yours… but if all goes wrong, then we’re stopping and evaluating.

Trixie: Deal. (smiles)

(The two run into the cave)

---> Trixie: I spent some time in Cerulean Cave. I’ve decided to try and see things from a “third eye” perspective. Once I stopped actively trying to leave the cave, I found the exit… … (smiles sheepishly) Which implies that I got lost in Cerulean Cave.


(Molly and Malika see Matteo and Joey. Molly motions for Malika to follow her)

Molly: I’m a little worried for Joey. I don’t want him all alone in that cave.

Malika: He’s got Matteo, one of the toughest people here. He’ll protect him.

Molly: Matteo's a sweetheart but his Sandshrew is so-

Malika: -Relax Momma M. They’ll be fine.

Molly: … (sighs) I suppose you’re right. I hope you all don't think I'm being as overbearing as my own children think I am.

Malika: Naw, don’t sweat it. You’re perfectly fine. Heck, I wish I had you as a mom. You’re so chill!

Molly: Thank you, Malika! (the two are walking into the cave) What’s your mother like?

Malika: My first or second mom?

Molly: Oh! How about both?

Malika: First. Dead. Second. She’s breathin.

Molly: ...

(Molly’s taken aback by Malika's candid responses… But brushes it off and follows her into the cave)

---> Malika: I’m paired with MOLLY! This is AWESOME! Molly is chill, nice, and last night made everyone in the trailer croissants made entirely out of bread! What a bomb-mom! (smiles)


(Amber and Ryuma immediately run into the cave. These two are alliance’d, ready, and pumped)

Amber: We go as deep as we can. I’ll keep the area lit.

Ryuma: I’ll smash aside any wild Pokemon. (The two fist bump)

Amber: Okay then. I’ll be watching your back.

Ryuma: Feel free to enjoy what you see. (winks at Amber)

(Amber blushes heavily. She scoffs as they rush into the deep maw of Rock Tunnel. Amber's Vulpix is rushing ahead, breathing small bursts of fire to light the way)

Amber: Ryuma, humor me. What’s stopping me from lighting your sorry butt on fire?

Ryuma: The fact that I’m already hot?

(DANG. Ryuma’s on a roll. Amber can’t handle it. She just laughs)

Amber: You taking tips from Grace?

(They dive into Rock Tunnel together)

---> Ryuma: (leaning against the wall) It’s hard to admit… but once Amber is on your side, she’s actually an okay person to be around. I like to “joke flirt” with her. It doesn't really mean anything; she doesn’t seem to mind.

---> Amber: … (she rubs her shoulders) … … …


(Bolin is unhappy with who he's been assigned. He plops Natalie down on the ground and glares at her)

Natalie: …

Bolin: …

Natalie: (sighs) … Look, I know you’re upset to be paired with-

Bolin: (deadpan) -ROCK Tunnel. We’re both weak to rock. Granted, you’re weak to pretty much everything, but we’re BOTH weak in this scenario. That’s what upsets me.

Natalie: Being "weak" has never stopped me before.

Bolin: It should. You need to stock up on stronger Pokemon. Being "weak" is nothing to be proud of.

Natalie: (scowls) So you wanna give up? Leave, go find stronger Pokemon, then come back? That'd waste too much time. You wanna do that?

Bolin: No.

Natalie: Then quit being whatever you're being and just follow me.

(Natalie leads Bolin into the cave. Bolin follows her, impressed momentarily by her dominance. However, she's still the Bug user. Nothing to see there. They disappear together into the tunnel)

---> Natalie: I’m paired with Bolin today. To prevent any scuffle between us, I just need to let him know who’s in charge. Bolin comes off as one of those "in charge until proven otherwise" kind of people.

---> Bolin: Natalie’s trying to be tough to impress me, but it only confuses me more. She’s a capable trainer… So why is she wasting her time with bugs? She could be so much more powerful with Ground, or Electric, or Steel, or Fire. She's turning her willing waste of potential into a statement. She's all show, and THAT I cannot respect.




(The entire cast is inside the caverns of ROCK TUNNEL)

=== Rock Tunnel Interior === (Rock Tunnel is a small two floored cave that sits in the middle of Route 10. This cave is cramped, but has many hidden areas and wild Pokemon thrashing about. Zubats. Machops. Geodudes. Multiple Ace Trainers are running about as well, looking for the shiny)

(A swarm of Zubats soars by. Two trainers hide behind the rocks. Once the swarm is gone, they emerge and follow from Ace Trainers. It’s Axel and Zane)

Zane: This reminds me of something my dad once said when he saw a swarm of Zubats… He said “OH MY GOD, BATS- (Axel covers his mouth)

(Zane just smiles. Axel lets go of him and frowns)

---> Axel: Get ready everyone, this is gonna blow your mind. Plot twist of the season that nobody saw coming, so get ready to take a step away from your screen and get a drink of water cuz this revelation is gonna hit you like a semi truck and blow your mind.... Zane's annoying.

(Zane and Axel are behind a group of two Ace Trainers)

Zane: Keep your fingers crossed that it’s a Zubat! It’d totally be your type! A shiny Zubat! You think a shiny Zubat KNOWS it’s shiny? It has no eyes.

Axel: (mumbling) Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

(Axel rolls his eyes and groans as Zane starts talking again. They keep progressing)

---> Zane: I like Axel! He’s funny, witty, usually in the midst of his scathing insults, but he always knows how to break an awkward silence... usually by just turning it into normal silence.


(Molly and Malika are walking through the cave. A Cubone is looking over a ledge at the two. It shakes the bone its holding. It’s a small scaley upright creature with a skull on its head)

Molly: OH! OH MALIKA, Look! (waves to the Cubone) Hello, cutie!

(The Cubone waves back. Malika starts cooing over it too)

Molly: Are you lost, honey? Where’s your mother?

(Molly instantly regrets asking that, momentarily forgetting the CORE trait of every Cubone. The Cubone just starts wailing and runs away)

Malika: …

Molly: … … That was my fault. Dedenne, go comfort it.

(Dedenne, the small electric and fairy Pokemon leaps out of Molly’s arms and runs after the Cubone, easily hopping up to the ledge where it ran from)

Malika: You sure you wanna be sending your Pokemon away like that in the middle of a cave that is currently filled with powerful trainers all cranky over looking for a shiny Pokemon?

Molly: I trust Dedenne will be alright. I raised him well.

Malika: Oh! Here! Borrow my Shroomish then. (Malika hands her Pokeball to Molly. Molly gives it back)

Molly: I have my Clefairy. But that’s very kind of you, Malika. Thank you.

(The two keep walking. In walking, they turn a corner and come across another team in the competition. It's Alan and Payton)

Malika: Oh hi! Alan! (Malika looks to Payton. She looks away and mumbles) Sup, Payton.

Payton: I get it, you're not happy to see me. I'm not happy to see you either, and neither is Alan.

Alan: (petting Murkrow on his shoulder) I can't see at all.

Payton: That was the joke, Hawkeye.

Alan: A blind joke in front of a blind person. Tactful AND original.

Malika: (whispering to Molly) Can we walk away now? Payton's kind of a buzzkill.

Payton: … I am literally right standing right here. 

Malika: (speaking up) You say plenty of mean things to people standing right in front of you.

Payton: (bored) Like this? You have half a head of hair, Malika; does that apply to your brain too?

Molly: (rolls up a newspaper) Does someone need a visit from the apology fairy?

Payton: No, but you could afford a visit from your kids anytime soon to take you back to the retirement home you escaped from.

Alan: Ladies, enough.

Molly: Thank you Alan... (Molly sighs and stares at Alan) I really appreciate that... Do you mind if... (Molly blushes) C-can we have a moment, Alan?

Payton: Why? He's younger. Your will's gonna be dropping first.

(Alan waves a hand in Payton's general direction. A very subtle "go away". Both Malika and Payton take the hint, though Payton does so begrudgingly. Malika and Payton wander off, ready to return any moment)

Molly: I’d like to … um…

Alan: Address the Donphan in the room?

Molly: (blushing) You’re always one step ahead… You’re so poised and in control… and handsome.

Alan: I wish I could see for that myself. (chuckles) But Molly-

Molly: -Alan, you always remarkably make yourself absolutely clear with everyone, so it’s only appropriate if I do the same. I’m a single mom and even though Fairy is strong against Dark… (heavily blushes)

(Alan just remains silent and slowly raises an eyebrow at her)

Molly: It’s just that my son’s been without a father figure for so long… I was wondering if…

Alan: Molly-

Molly: -OH! I’m sorry! That came out wrong. What I mean is… I think you’re a lovely person, and I’d absolutely love the chance to further explore that with you.

Alan: I’m sorry to dissapoint you but-

Molly: -Oh my goodness. I was too forward. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to waste any of your time. That was so uncalled for of me. I apologi-

Alan: -I’m gay.

Molly: …

Alan: …

Molly: … (immediately perks up and comically drops her emotional state) Oh. Well that’s a relief! Usually men reject me for a multitude of reasons that would give Payton a lifetime supply of insults to hurl my way. I'm alright with this.

(Molly yells to the side)

Molly: It’s alright Malika! You can come out now! He’s positively GAY!

(Malika has NO context for what’s going on. She awkwardly shuffles back in. Payton as well)

Alan: (tips his hat) Sorry for the troubles.

Molly: Oh hush. Your only crime is being charming. (giggles) We’ll all envy whoever you ultimately decide to settle with. Have a lovely day!

Alan: You too.

(Payton walks off with Alan, confused as heck. Malika walks off with Molly)

---> Payton: … Okay what the f*** just happened?


(Two Ace Trainers are looking around a pit area. They’re shining lights inside. One has a Magneton while the other has a Gloom. Amber and Ryuma approach the two from behind)

Amber: Hey you two! Find anything?

(The Ace Trainer turns around. The other keeps searching)

Male Ace Trainer: As if we’d tell anything to you two little PUNKS!

Female Ace Trainer: YEAH! We’re gonna intimidate you because we never beat the Pokemon League and we’re hoping to drown out our shortcomings with copious defeations of little children, crushing their dreams in Pokemon battles ultimately so they don’t get the same hopes WE had as kids, preventing them from wanting to challenge the league and inevitably ending up just like us.

Male Ace Trainer: HA! YEAH! What she said!

Ryuma: Well…

Amber: Bad news for you two shmucks.

(Amber and Ryuma’s pokemon step forward. Vulpix and Jangmo-o. They approach the Magneton and Gloom)

Ryuma: We’re not, in fact, kids.

Amber: And we will, in fact, be RUNNIN the Pokemon League when this game's done!

(A battle unleashes. Vulpix, Jangmo-o, Magnetone and Gloom. Vulpix opens with an Ember which immediately knocks out Magneton, who as a last resort uses Thunder Wave, which hits Vulpix)

(Vulpix is paralyzed, but Jangmo-o uses Dragon Tail to slam Gloom across the cavern, completely wrecking the Ace Trainer’s teams)

(The Ace Trainers just look at the two in awe and fear)

Amber: If I were you, I’d scram and leave this shiny to a duo who are more likely to be WORTH it.

(The Ace Trainers jump into the pit, screaming on the way down. It's a long drop, but they're okay... but it's a long drop)

Amber: … I did not tell them to do that.

Ryuma: They’ll be fine. (offers a high five. Amber takes it) Not gonna lie, when we agreed to work together, I didn't think you'd willingly cooperate. I figured you'd just boss me around and give me lame nicknames like you usually do. (smirks)

Amber: (scoffs) Oh that still comes with the package, Thigh-tanic.

Ryuma: (pause. Offended) … “Thigh-tanic”? Is that a fat joke?

Amber: (pauses too. The fun teasing moment is over. Now she has to explain herself) What? No. You’re jacked. The nickname is because you like fishing… and that happens on a boat… and you got nice thighs… and… (Amber stomps the dirt) STOP MAKIN ME EXPLAIN MA NICKNAMES FOR PEOPLE!!!

Ryuma: (smiles, teasingly) Tell better nicknames.

Amber: (the tease mood is back) Well maybe you should slow down more often. Might actually be there when a punch line comes ‘round.

(The two keep walking down the cave. They look in the pit. Nothing. They continue to observe the area. They walk awfully close to each other)


(A couple of Ace Trainers are walking through the cave. One has a Primeape while the other has a Politoed)

Dude Ace Trainer: So then I said “bro” and he was like “pay your taxes”. Ha!

Babe Ace Trainer: (rolls her eyes) Great story, Brett.

(The group of Ace Trainers are walking through the cave. They turn a corner and see a horrific sight. Alan is holding a knife to Payton’s throat while her Sneasel lies lifeless on the ground)

(Wait, WHAT)

Payton: P-PLEASE SIR!!! DON’T DO IT!!!


(The Ace Trainers start freaking out)

Dude Ace Trainer: Bruh! What are you doing?! Put the knife down!

Babe Ace Trainer: It’s just a shiny, man! Let her go!!!



(The Ace Trainers scream and run out of the cave, never coming back)


(Alan casually releases Payton. Sneasel gets up and smirks. The two chuckle)

Alan: I take it they fell for it.

Payton: Less of them we need to worry about. Alright.

(The two walk into the darkness)

Payton: (amused) You were pretty good at that. Almost too good. You ever done that in real life before?

Alan: Let’s change the subject.

---> Payton: Holy sh**, he never said “no”.


(Molly and Malika find a lone rock in a secluded area of the cave. Molly dusts it off and sits down. She motions for Malika to take a seat as well. She does)

Molly: This ought to do the trick.

Malika: … Sitting here?

Molly: Shiny Pokemon actually have very different behaviors than normal Pokemon. Due to their coloring, they’re commonly ostracized from their packs and left to fend for themselves, something that might also play a hand in their rarity.

Malika: Ohhh… So… why are we sitting here?

Molly: You see, if we go looking for one, it won’t show up. We’ll find packs waiting to ambush us. They won’t be with the packs. They like to be secluded. I believe that it will come to us if we don't bother the environment. We sit here and wait.

Malika: You sure?

Molly: I’m absolutely sure.

(The two continue to sit... What feels like an eternity to Malika is five seconds to anybody else. Malika gets impatient)

Malika: Sooooo… how do we pass time?

Molly: I could tell you stories about my kids.

Malika: Got any embarrassing stories about em?

Molly: I'm a mother willing to share any general story about my child on national television... Is there a difference?

Malika: Fairy enough. Hit me.

(Molly proceeds to unloads TONS of embarrassing stories about her son)


(MEANWHILE, Dedenne, Molly’s Pokemon, has caught up to Cubone. Cubone is sobbing into a cave corner. Dedenne is nuzzling against it. Cubone turns to Dedenne)

(The two hug and embrace, and Dedenne wipes Cubone’s eyes)

(The two turn their attention when they see people walking around the corner. Cubone grabs Dedenne and hides with it behind a rock. They stare at masked strangers walking menacingly around the corner)

(They’re wearing black jumpsuits, black hats, boots and gloves… and a bright red letter on their fronts. … )




=== Outside Rock Tunnel === (Bud and Chris are gathered at the truck. Suddenly, the engine sputters and smokes. Bud opens up the front of the truck and is bombared with choke-inducing smoke. He falls over and coughs. He gets up and looks at the damage)

Chris: BUD! The engine’s broken.

Bud: It was all the bumps we hit on the way here.

Chris: Geez, let this be a lesson to you then.

Bud: To ME!? … I’m not the one who rearranged the course!

Chris: You agreed with me when I made the decision so it’s just as much your fault as it is mine.

Bud: Well it’s your fault cuz I said so.

Chris: It’s your fault. No take backsies.

Bud: I triple dog dare you to admit that it was your fault.

(As Chris and Bud argue childishly over whos fault it is, GRACE walks over with a tool kit. She pauses to stare at them... shrugs and works on the engine behind their back)

---> Grace: Boys are universally stupid and I don't care who's offended by me saying that.




=== Rock Tunnel ===  (Axel and Zane are walking down the path together that leads to the darkest abyss of the cave. Gastly, Sableye, Ekans and Nidoran are all waltzing besides their owners)

(Zane is in the middle of showing off his shipping chart to Axel. The same one he showed Payton. Axel, however, is not nearly as interested)

Zane: I’m getting vibes from Malika and Natalie! There’s also Matteo and Trixie. I can see them working out. OH! And Bolin and Payton could possibly get along. Both are pretty snappy. All I’d have to do is put the idea in one of their heads and they’ll start acting different around the other! OH OH OH! And Ryuma and Amber! Those two both like each other, that’s clear! They HAVE to get together. I call it “Fishferno” cuz he fishes and she’s-

Axel: -STOP!!! (Axel turns around) Just… SHUT … UP! … I don’t care! Just stop talking! Ugh! (turns around) Why’d I have to be paired up with YOU?

Zane: Well… who would you rather be paired up with? For this challenge? (Zane grips the shipping chart)

Axel: Preferably-... (notices Zane’s wide smile) … You’re just gonna ship me with whoever I name.

Zane: … Noooooooo. (looks suspiciously back and forth)

Axel: (walking away) I don’t care. I don’t like anybody anyway.

Zane: … … … Well that’s good!

(Axel turns around)

Axel: What’s that supposed to mean?

Zane: (still smiling) Well, I don’t think anyone else would wanna be paired with you either, so it’s a win win for everyone!

Axel: … … … Are you saying that nobody likes me or something?

Zane: (pause) … Did I? … (contemplates) Ohhh (mumbles) Crud, I kinda did.

Axel: (walking towards Zane intimidatingly) What do people say about me?

Zane: (unfazed by Axel's intimidation) Wellll I talked with some pals of mine the other day… Just yesterday, in fact. And, um… they said you’re abrasive. But that can be a good thing!

Axel: (confrontational) Yeah, it is. I have drive.

Zane: (thinking aloud) They also said you’re insincere.

Axel: I never lie!

Zane: Insensitive.

Axel: Well maybe they’re just too soft.

Zane: … (looks at Axel) … Hm?

(Axel keeps walking. He drops the subject. Zane catches up. They stay by each other’s side)


(Matteo and Joey are walking together)

Joey: (swinging his sword) ♪ ♫ OOOOHHHHHH We’re off to catch a shiny! A shiny! A shiny! What color will it be?! Will it be red? Will it be green? Will it be something that I’ve never seen. We’re off to catch a shiny-♪ ♫

Matteo: (adjusting his hearing aid) -Yoooooooo. Yelling ain’t gonna bring the shiny here, little buddy.

Joey: I’m not yelling! It’s a song! It’s my plan. I sing, and it shows up to give me backup vocals.

Matteo: …

(Matteo stops in his tracks. He reaches down and puts a hand on Joey's head to stop Joey too. Neither go anywhere. Matteo points up)

Matteo: Well, you certainly summoned uhhh....  SOMETHING.

(A heaping monstrosity towers over the two. It’s made entirely of rocks. A few Ace Trainers run the opposite direction in order to get away. Matteo and Joey oddly look settled. It’s an ONIX. It roars at the two and lowers its head to glare directly at them)

Matteo: … Joey… I don't know much about safety, but NOT getting hurt is a good start... So what I THINK we need to do is calmly step back and-


(Rattata bites that behemoth in the eye. Onix roars and flails about. Slamming into walls and causing all sorts of rubble to come crashing down. Joey and Matteo leap out of the way)

(Matteo gets off the ground. He adjusts his hearing aid, which almost slipped off)

Matteo: So we’re up against an Onix in the basement floor of Rock Tunnel… That’s cool.

(Joey and Matteo grab their Pokemon and run behind a corner. The Onix gains its sight back and scours the area for these two, wanting revenge)

Joey: (giggling) My bro would KILL me if he knew what I was doing.

Matteo: Ugh... (points at the camera) He probably does. You’re on TV, little dude.

Joey: (looks at the camera) Hey 01! Get in line! (laughs)

(The pillar they’re hiding behind gets smashed by the Onix. It looms over them and opens its gaping maw. The two scream and crawl away, but not before something surprising happens)


(A blast from a bazooka clonks into the head of the Onix. It staggers, fine and unharmed, but definitely given a jolt. It hits the ground, weakly wiggling its snake-like form. It lowly groans. Matteo and Joey look for the source of their saviors who did this)

Joey: Hey! … Who did that?

Matteo: … (Matteo feels his hearing aid... He gets a look in his eye that reads "the gears are turning) ... Hold up. I have an, ugh, idea....

(Matteo amps up the volume on his hearing aid to hear anything nearby. He gets voices. He looks in the direction they’re coming from. They’re’s a high up ledge, and on top of it… two figures shrouded in darkness)

Joey: Is that another team in the game!? (Joey spotted them too) HEY! WHERE’D YOU GET THE BAZOOKA!?

(The two figures step into the light, where they can be more readily seen)

?????: Comes with the occupation, runt.

?????: Now we’ll be taking the shiny in this cave… and while we’re at it, this Onix too!!!

Joey: Who ARE you?

(The figures are in the light. They have dark clothes, bandit-esque figures, hats, faces in shadow, tall black boots, and stark “R”s across their chests in bold red)

(Team Rocket)

Team Rocket Grunt #1: Who are we? … Who are WE!? … Man have I missed the days where we never had to answer DAT question!

Team Rocket Grunt #2: I hear dat, pal! It’s good to be back, but we got some catching up to do!

Matteo: (steps in front of Joey) Hey, leave the kid alone, man… man, plural... (looks to Joey) moon? Mens? (shrugs and looks up) Listen, we’re just ugh... ya know, passing through.

Team Rocket Grunt #1: Oh yeah? Well you’re a part of this big new TV show, right? What better way to tell EVERYONE that we’re back than making our own little debut on national television!

Team Rocket Grunt #2: Yeah! And guess what… we aren’t getting taken down by little kids anymore!

Joey: I’m 8!!!

Team Rocket Grunt #2: … Good for you.

Team Rocket Grunt #1: Unfortunately for you two, we’re big fans of making impressions… soooo we’ll be taking that Onix and finishing you off.


Team Rocket Grunt #1: You told a doof to what?

(Joey’s Bidoof has climbed up to where the grunts are. It takes a big ol bite out of one of their boots. They holler and scream. They kick the Bidoof off of the ledge. It bounces down merrily due to its blubber)


Joey: Naaaaah. You guys just talk a lot. You distracted yourselves.

Team Rocket Grunt #1: ARGH! This is how we lost in the past! We just TALK! We need to STRIKE!

Matteo: Hold up, give me a second.

Team Rocket Grunt#1: Wha-

(Matteo throws a Heavy Ball at Onix. It clunks off of its head. The Onix vanishes into the ball. After a few shakes, it’s caught. Matteo has an ONIX now)

Team Rocket Grunt #1: … … H-How are we supposed to make people believe we mean business if we CAN’T EVEN FOIL A KID!?!?

Matteo: Heeeeey I'm not a kid.

Team Rocket Grunt #2: You most certainly are, you just happen to be huge.

(Team Rocket runs off, perhaps… MAYBE the last time we’ll see them?)

(Joey and Matteo high five)

Joey: They weren’t tough at all!

(Suddenly, there’s a glow within the cave)

Joey: A SHINY!?

(The glow is coming from Joey’s Bidoof. It waddles over, growing in size as it steps. It evolves before their very eyes)

(*Evolution music* Bidoof’s transformation… dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun… Bidoof has evolved)

(Bidoof becomes… a BIBAREL)

Joey: … WOW! Look at you Bidoof! You’re SO tall! You’re about the size of a friend! (Joey hugs Bibarel. It makes derpy beaver sounds. Delighted derpy beaver sounds)

(Matteo smiles at Joey and his new Bibarel… but he looks up to where the Rocket Grunts were… he’s still unsettled by that)

---> Matteo: Wow... Payton is right. I need to train my Sandshrew to obey me better… Because… if those grunts show up again and there isn’t an Onix between us next time, they could wipe me ... and I could DIE... or WORSE... I could stop living. 


(The two Rocket grunts have NOT left Rock Tunnel… and are in fact still lurking about… )



Chapter Text

REGION TROTTERS: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 5

Alan (DARK), Axel (POISON), Bolin (FLYING), Joey (NORMAL), Ludwig (STEEL),  Matteo (GROUND), Ryuma (DRAGON), Zane (GHOST), Amber (FIRE), Grace (ELECTRIC), Malika (GRASS), Molly (FAIRY), Natalie (BUG), Payton (ICE), Trixie (PSYCHIC)


=== Rock Tunnel, Interior === (The teams are still looking for a shiny Pokemon that’s said to have been spotted somewhere in Rock Tunnel)

(Bolin and Natalie are working together. They’re forced to. Bolin is watching as his Staravia soars upwards and wafts through the hordes of Zubat overhead. No shiny found)

Natalie: (at Bolin's side) HEY! Do you have to knock every one of them out!? They’re just Zubats! They can’t defend themselves yet!

Bolin: We need to weed out the shiny. And besides, I thought you said weak Pokemon had "potential". Maybe I'm testing that.

Natalie: You’re knocking out Pokemon who haven’t tapped into that yet! Be sensible! They're low leveled right now!

(Natalie catches Butterfree, her own Pokemon who falls from the ceiling after one of Staravia’s attacks misfires. She gasps and yells at Bolin)

Natalie: This is too much!

(She heals her Butterfree with her abundance of herbs and potions. Butterfree is revived, and goes back up to help Staravia)

Bolin: This is the fifth time your Butterfree’s been knocked out. Give up and go back to the trailers.

Natalie: No. I’m going to help find the shiny, but we don’t need to do it like this.

Bolin: WE don’t have to. I can do this myself. You’re just holding us both back.

Natalie: Stop treating me like a liability.

Bolin: Then stop being one. You're really unreasonable, you know that?

(Bolin turns. Natalie is glaring at him hatefully. Her Butterfree falls and WAPS against the ground behind her)

Bolin: You picked a weak Pokemon. You should worry about Butterfree rather than the Zubats.

Natalie: And I suppose ALL Bug Pokemon are weak, huh?

Bolin: An Anorith could be strong… It evolves into Armaldo. A powerful Pokemon… But, naturally you picked a weak one.

(That hurts Natalie. Natalie's Anorith has a smaller claw that usual due to it being harmed as a fossil in Diglett's Cave)

Natalie: Are you saying that just because it has a handicap, it’s weak and should be abandoned!?

Bolin: It shouldn’t be in a game this rigorous. I’m a person, not a Mightyena. I’m not telling you to eat or abandon it.

Natalie: (changing the subject from THAT) What makes Armaldo better than Butterfree?

Bolin: Bugs are weak. The only strong ones are the ones with strong dual types. Like Steel, Fire and Dark. Rock isn’t much better, but for Bug it’s an improvement. Thus, Armaldo is better.

Natalie: Y-You can’t just label different types as being “weak” or “strong” in general. They all have weaknesses and strengths. You need to broaden your horizons.

Bolin: You need stronger Pokemon.

Natalie: You know what? You’re to talk. You have FLYING TYPE.

Bolin: … (clenching his fists) What are you inferring about Flying Type?

Natalie: You heard me! Flying Type is SO weak, it can only exist if it has another dual type.

(Bolin flares up. Suddenly, he’s PISSED. He towers over Natalie, being substantially more built and tall. Natalie doesn’t flinch. Bolin raises his arms and prepares to shout at her. This is the most emotion we’ve seen from him yet)

Bolin: YOU-

(A Zubat falls on top of Natalie’s Butterfree in the background. Natalie notices this time. Bolin is distracted)

Natalie: Oh gosh.

(It starts RAINING ZUBAT. Staravia is wiping them all out)

(Bolin has gathered his cool. Natalie picks up a Zubat and gives it a confident look. She heals it and holds onto it)

Natalie: Bolin, what are your thoughts on Zubat again?

Bolin: (has already taken a deep breath) … Despite being Flying Type… It’s common. It’s a lowly dual. Poison. Therefore weak.

Natalie: Would you consider catching one?

Bolin: No.

(Natalie walks over to Bolin)

Natalie: Give me one of your Pokeballs.

Bolin: ... (Bolin hands Natalie a Dusk Ball) You can’t have the Zubat. It’s not Bug.

Natalie: Oh hush.

(Natalie captures the Zubat she’s holding. She hands the ball to Bolin)

Natalie: Take it. It’s yours.

Bolin: ... I don’t want it.

Natalie: Train a “weak” Pokemon. See what you can do with it. If it ends up failing you, then you prove me wrong, but if you-

Bolin: -No deals. I’m not keeping it.

Natalie: …

(Natalie has an idea)

Natalie: … Where are you from again?

Bolin: Blackthorn City.

Natalie: Gosh… a lot of history there. I take it you’re part of a clan? Right? A tribe?

Bolin: Yes... We dedicate our lives to hunting with the strongest of Flying Type.

Natalie: And you use something as COMMON as a Starly with a dual type as WEAK as NORMAL? Wow. Starly’s make Zubats look like legendaries. (coyly) Bit hypocritical.

(She hits a nerve. Again. Bolin contains his rage better this time)

Bolin: It was a gift from my grandfather. Starly’s an exception!

Natalie: Well… If you’re as STRONG as you say you are… and your training sessions are as great as everyone says they are… then you should have no problem raising such a “weak” Pokemon and making something strong out of it. Right? … Unless, of course you CAN’T. Takes a STRONG trainer to make weak Pokemon powerful.

(Natalie just called him out. She trains weak Pokemon and makes them strong. He only bothers training the already strong. She’s saying she’s better)

Bolin: … (takes the Pokeball) I’ll use this Zubat to destroy you, you know that, right?

Natalie: I’ll be waiting.

(Bolin and Natalie continue walking through the cave. That was a long confrontation, and neither have anything left to say to one another in this moment... )


(Malika and Molly are still sitting around. Molly's plan is just to wait for a shiny to show up since disturbing the environment might be making it stay hidden)

Malika: … Are you SURE about this?

Molly: Positive.

Malika: … Look, Molly. I’d love to help out and stick around, but I really gotta jet. I wanna catch that shiny and I don’t think we’ll find it here.


(The two look up. A flash of light occured, followed by the falling of rocks. The two scuttle back hastily to get out of the way, backing into an eclosed alcove in the cavern wall)

(Tons of rocks fall in the exit. The only way for Malika and Molly to get out of. ...They’re now trapped)

Molly and Malika: …

Malika: What the HECK!?

Molly: (trying to remain calm) … Perhaps you were right.

(Molly walks over and tries moving the rocks. Her Clefairy helps her, but to no avail)

Molly: H-hey!

(Malika pokes her head into a small hole. She can see out of it)

Malika: You out there! (turns to Molly) I see someone!

(The two look through a hole in the rocks. They see… two TEAM ROCKET GRUNTS. They're wearing all black save for the bright red "R"s on their chests. One is holding a bazooka, more than likely the cause of the rocks falling)

Malika: HEY-

Molly: -Sssshhh. (whispers) That's Team Rocket. A criminal organization from long ago. Let's listen.

(Malika and Molly hold their ears to the hole. They're eavesdropping on the Team Rocket grunts to hear what kind of devious and awful evil conversation they have in private, and what possible important and plot-relevant things they have to reveal... )

Team Rocket Grunt #1: HEH! Got EEM!

Malika: Nevermind, I thought they’d say something crucial. Let’s just get their attention.

Molly: Agreed.


(Malika and Molly yell for the Rocket Grunts to come help them)

Team Rocket Grunt #2: HA! We hear you, damsels. We ain’t helpin. Enjoy dirt!

(The Rocket Grunts laugh and walk off, successfully messing with someone’s game and departing the scene)

Molly: Come back here! … Oh…

Malika: This isn’t good…

(The two look at each other in worry. ... )

(Around the corner, outside of the enclosed trapped space that Molly and Malika are in, Cubone and Dedenne are looking for Molly and Malika to warn them about Team Rocket… )


(More Ace Trainers are running towards the exit of Rock Tunnel. As they run out, the camera traces to who they’re running from. Not Team Rocket… but Amber and Ryuma defeating their Pokemon)

Amber: (they've finished the job and stand side to side, both have their arms crossed) You know, we make a really great team.

Ryuma: I’ll say.

Amber: No need to. I already said it.

(The two laugh and keep walking. What they don't realize is that not all of these Ace Trainers are running from THEM... But from other people in the tunnel... )

(Team Rocket)




=== Outside Rock Tunnel === (Ace Trainers are rushing out of Rock Tunnel, being scared off by the Region Trotter's cast and Team Rocket)

(Grace has fixed the engine. She turns to Bud and Chris who are still arguing with one another about... literally who cares?)

Grace: Hey Dumb and Dumbagedon. I fixed your car.

(Bud and Chris turn to Grace and see that the truck is fully operational)

Chris: … (smirks) See? Even a little girl can do your job!

Grace: I’m 20. I’m an adult.

Bud: (ignores) And I suppose she can COOK better than me too!?

Chris: Well, as a grown women, that's a possibility!

Grace: Excuse me?

(Multiple Ace Trainers run by the group in fear. They’re screaming and hollering. Bud gets annoyed by all of this yelling and grabs one and hoists them in the air)

Bud: What’s going on in there?


(Bud drops the Ace Trainer. He turns to Grace and growls)

Bud: We’re not done here. (Bud runs into the cave alone)



Chris: OH GOOD IDEA! (thumbs up) SAVE THEM ... FOR US!!!

(Grace looks at the camera)

---> Grace: (grinning) The roadbumps didn’t break the truck. I did. Then I fixed it. (Grace leans back and twirls a wrench in her hand) Just wanted to mess with Bud a little.




=== Inside Rock Tunnel === (Axel and Zane are looking around. Axel is battling with his Pokemon. Zane is on his stomach, crawling around underneath rocks looking for any signs of a shiny)

(Axel’s Nidoran is pummeling through wild Pokemon. Zubats and Machop are laying around)

Zane: OOH! Here’s a pearl! (Zane tucks it in his pocket) Nice!

Axel: So…. Who DO you ship me with?

Zane: … Ummmm…

Axel: (turns to Zane) “UmMMMMMmmm” what?

Zane: … I don’t… really ship you with anyone.

Axel: … …

Zane: …

Axel: WHAT!?

Zane: Eep.

Axel: You shipped Chris and Bud, Amber and Ryuma, even Bolin and Natalie who have absolutely NOTHING in common and now you’re telling me, after sharing all of these wild crazy ships, that I’m not shipped with ANYONE?

Zane: Well… I mean… Other people at least… mean well. …

Axel: Excuse me?

(Zane cringes)

Axel: … (crosses his arms and glares)

Zane: I just feel like any relationship with you would be… um… … t-toxic?

Axel: …

Zane: … Pun intended, but my point stands. (Zane stands up and sits Axel down, putting an arm around him) Look, it’s just… I ship together people who would make each other… happy.

(Zane immediately winces. He realizes he did NOT word that correctly)

---> Zane: (flipping through a rolodex) This is my rolodex of positivity. When I can’t think of anything nice to say specifically to someone, I just read some of these to them. (reads a few) “You have a great figure”. Axel would find that creepy. “Your personality is contagious”. Could be another pun, but no. “You have riveting eyes that I can’t help but get lost in”. … Hard to deny that when his eyes are literally red! I’ll mark that one.

Axel: Explain NATALIE and BOLIN.

Zane: Both have perspectives to offer each other, and I’ve seen both of them share them. Maybe not to each other, but with a little nudge and a push, I’m sure they could see something in one another. Both just want their Pokemon to be strong. Natalie just fixates on OTHER Pokemon rather than her own. Bolin fixates entirely on his own.

Axel: So you’re saying I have nothing to offer anyone? (stands up and pushes Zane’s arm away) Thanks. I feel great.

Zane: (stands up) N-no! I didn’t mean it like that! I just mean that… well, you’re the only person here who hasn’t opened up to anyone yet.

Axel: …

Zane: I’m sorry if I made you feel excluded-

Axel: -I don’t care about being included. I never am.

Zane: (smiles widely and pulls out a shipping chart) You’re starting to show true colors. Keep it coming!

(Axel grabs Zane’s shipping paper and crumbles it and tosses it)

Axel: It was stupid even humoring you about this. I don't care.

Zane: …

(Zane doesn’t look hurt, he just looks surprised. Axel walks over to his Nidoran, who has finished beating a Machop. The Nidoran begins to glow. Its form enlargens and becomes spikier)

(*Evolution music* Nidoran’s transformation… dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun… Nidoran has evolved)

(It’s a NIDORINO now. Ekans slivers up to it. Nidorino tackles it in delight. The two wrestle)

Axel: (cheered up by his Pokemon’s evolution, but still annoyed with Zane) Let’s go already.

(Zane is wiping mud off his shipping chart. Once it’s clean, he smiles again. He runs after Axel)

Zane: Wait for me!

---> Zane: I know what must be done… I gotta find someone to ship Axel with!


(Malika and Molly are still trapped. They’re lying down on the side of a rock, unable to break through the wall of rock that's containing them)

Malika: Molly… give it to me straight… Are we gonna get out of here?

Molly: Yes, dear.

Malika: Are you saying that just to make me feel better?

Molly: Depends. Did it work?

Malika: … Y-yeah?

Molly: … (nods and pats Malika’s knee) Then nevermind.

(CRUNCH. They two turn to hear the sound of something colliding against the wall of rock that blocks their exit. Something’s on the other side)

Malika: …

Molly: …

?????: … (voice) Maybe punching that wall wasn’t a good idea.

Malika: AMBER!?!? Amber, is that you!?

Amber: (voice) … Ryuma, come over here. This wall sounds like Malika.

Ryuma: (voice) I knew this place felt cheery.

Molly: (giggles) No dear, it’s US.

Ryuma: (voice) That’s one motherly Malika-esque wall.

Malika: NO! IT’S US! RYUMA! AMBER! IT’S MALIKA AND MOLLY!!! We’re trapped!!! Help us!

(Bounsweet and Shroomish scuttle about around the wall)

Amber: (voice) Oohhhhhhh … So punching this wall WAS a good idea.

Ryuma: Hold up!

Molly: Hold wha-

(Suddenly, the wall explodes open. Amber, Ryuma, Jangmo-o, and Vulpix are all in punching stance, having knocked the wall down with the combined effort of them and their Pokemon. Malika and Molly watch the two in awe)

Amber: Yer welcome. (tips her hat)

(Malika leaps into Amber’s arms and hugs her)


Amber: Umm… (pats Malika) … … Yer welcome, again. Now get off.

(Molly hugs Ryuma. Ryuma shrugs and returns the hug)

Molly: (mumbling) I just love alibis to hug.

Ryuma: (breaks the hug) So how did the cave come down on you two? Rockslide? Roughousing Pokemon?

Malika: Team ROCKET! They’re in the cave! We need to get out of here!

Amber: Who's Team Rocket?

Molly: They're a horrible, evil organization! A mafia that's terrorized Kanto and Johto for years, and they're somehow back after disbanding!

Ryuma: Oh crud... and WE didn't even get a swing at them?

Amber: My thoughts exactly!

Malika: We gotta get out of here.

Amber: Alright alright. We’ll take you outside. Ryuma and I will head back inside to take them out.

Ryuma: (nods) Good plan.

(Amber takes Malika, who is still clinging to her and hasn't let go of the hug. Ryuma takes Molly after them)


(Ludwig and Trixie are walking together. Ludwig has allowed Trixie to lead the team and "wing" it without having Ludwig make a meticulous plan or analyze anything. Anytime he's pulled out his journal, Trixie's forbid it... but now they're lost at this point)

Ludwig: I think we need to leave. We can draw a map of what we already know and then-

Trixie: -Ludwig. You have to learn to go with the flow, okay? Just… be ready.

Ludwig: How can I if I can’t plan ahead!? We're lost!

Trixie: Don’t PLAN ahead… just be ready.

Ludwig: What does that MEAN!?

Trixie: If you keep sitting down and planning ahead for what your future will be, then it’s gonna go right past you.

??????: PFFT! That’s cheesy.

Trixie: Well I DO write a SUPERHERO comic. Cheesy comes with the territor- Wait who said that?

(Of course... Payton and Alan walk around the corner. Payton doesn't look happy to see Trixie or Ludwig)

Alan: There's been a suspicious lack of trainers present as time's gone by. Have you seen the shiny yet?

Trixie: If we did would we tell you?

Alan: (turns to Payton) See? My point exactly. The shiny must be gone. An Ace Trainer must have found it already and now everyone's clearing out.

Payton: (nods in compliance) What idiot would catch a shiny and tell everyone about it that’s ALSO looking for it?

Alan: They’d get dogpiled.

Payton: (looks to Trixie and Ludwig) Alan and I have scared off as many Ace Trainers as possible. But we saw a few Ace Trainers running past us screaming that weren't doing so because of us. That's weird.

Alan: We heard a few explosions coming from somewhere. What’s going on?

Ludwig: Perhaps some parts of the cave are collapsing. With all the activities of the Ace Trainers perhaps Rock Tunnel is starting to give.

Payton: If that's the case, everyone stay put, I'm gonna go take a really long bathroom break far away from here.

Alan: (deadpan) Payton.

Payton: (groans) You were alright, today. You can come with me.

(Payton and Alan turn and leave hastily. They're off to find the cave exit and get out of there, especially if Ludwig's theory is correct)

(Ludwig and Trixie keep walking forward. Beldum is shining its eye ahead like a flashlight)

Ludwig: I think we should go back too. That map idea is still-

(Ludwig trips. He slams against the floor and grumbles)

Trixie: LUDWIG! Are you alr-.... Oh my gosh.

(Ludwig looks to where he tripped. He grabs a hold of something shining gold. It’s glistening and bright and even more so as he shines Beldam on it)

Ludwig: … W-we struck GOLD!?

Trixie: That’s a BIG nugget! Wow! Those cost a fortune!

Ludwig: Hehe… Wow… (looks to Trixie) We’ll split it.

(Suddenly the nugget moves and protrudes two arms. It lowly growls and blinks)

Gold Nugget: GGgggeeeeeeoooooo…

(Ludwig and Trixie gasp. That’s no nugget. That’s a mon. A Pokemon. It’s a Geodude!)


Ludwig: TRIXIE! We found it! We found the shiny!

Trixie: W-we did it!

Ludwig: Had we gone back to make the map we NEVER would have-

??????: -Been at our mercy? Yeah. Dat.

(Ludwig and Trixie look behind them. Blocking their way out are TWO Team Rocket Grunts)

Team Rocket Grunt #2: Hand that little guy over so we can get em to da boss. They’d like to have one of dohs.

Team Rocket Grunt #1: Unless ya wanna fight.

(Trixie pulls out two Pokeballs. She sends out Espurr and Abra. Ludwig keeps his Beldum out)

Team Rocket Grunt #1: WOW! Three Psychic Types! Aren’t WE in luck!

(The Rocket Grunt throws out two Pokemon. One is a large scaly circle with large claws on its head and a gaping spiky mouth. A Pinsir. The other is a large bee with an incredibly sized stinger. Beedrill)

Trixie: (backs up) A … A B-beedrill…

Ludwig: You're scared of Beedrill?

Trixie: It's a GIANT BEE!!!

Ludwig: Every Pokemon is a giant version of SOMETHING.

(Trixie is now hiding behind Ludwig. She isn't listening)

Team Rocket Grunt #2: And now you’ll be forking over the lil dude. Give us the shiny!

(Abra is the only Pokemon that held its place. It begins to glow. The Rocket Grunts look wearily at it, not entirely impressed)

(*Evolution music* Abra’s transformation… dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun… Abra has evolved)

(Abra transforms and evolves before their very eyes. It becomes a KADABRA. Kadabra is a larger Abra but with a hefty tail and a spoon. It opens its eyes and gravely observes the situation. It closes its eyes once more)

Team Rocket Grunt #1: Wow. Your Psychic evolved into… still a psychic. Still can be beat. PINSIR! BIND!

(The Pinsir rushes over and grips Kadabra between its claws. Espurr runs to the rescue)

Team Rocket Grunt #2: Beedrill. Twineedle.

(Beedrill jabs Espurr hard with its drill. Espurr soars back. Trixie leaps to catch it and coddle the poor thing. She looks genuinely scared)

Trixie: What do we do?

(Trixie’s eyes open WIDE. She suddenly… feels something. It’s a wave of feeling that’s coming from her Kadabra. She can hear no words but a message is being sent to her)

(Kadabra is telepathically warning her about something... and in the midst of all of this, Trixie receives the message)

Trixie: … I… .. (looks to Ludwig) Give it to them.

Ludwig: What?

Trixie: Give them the Geodude.

Ludwig: … But it’s… (Ludwig sighs) Alright.

(Ludwig stands up and hands the grunts the Geodude. The Geodude looks stressed out)

Ludwig: There you go-

(Trixie grabs Ludwig and rushes to her Kadabra. Kadabra links arms with her and the two trainers suddenly vanish with their Pokemon. Ludwig and Trixie teleport away with their Pokemon, an ability Kadabra has)

Team Rocket Grunt #1: Hm. They were in a hurry to leave.

Team Rocket Grunt #2: Why wouldn’t they? We’re Team ROCKET!

(The two cackle loudly before they hear the sound of sizzling)

Team Rocket Grunt #1: Tim, you soil yourself from excitement again?

Team Rocket Grunt #2: BART! That’s an adrenaline thing, stop bringing it up! Now let’s just… deliver this thing to the boss-

(They look at the Geodude. Geodude has swollen three times its size and is bright red. The shininess still everpresent. They realize… what it’s doing)

Team Rocket Grunt #2: Awww. He has the same problem as me.

Team Rocket Grunt #1: DROP THE DUDE, TIM-




=== Outside Rock Tunnel === (Almost everyone is gathered outside the cave. All except Amber, Ryuma, Malika, Molly, Trixie and Ludwig. Amber and Ryuma walk outside, carrying Malika and Molly over their shoulders. Molly is estatic. She hugs Ryuma again. Malika isn’t put down)

Malika: You can put me down now, girl.

Amber: Sorry.

(Amber drops Malika. Malika stays by Amber’s side. Amber just pats her on the head and walks away)

(Molly runs over to Joey and skids on the grass to hug him and rub his head. Joey is taken by surprise. Matteo turns and watches this)

Joey: EEK!!!

Molly: Oh thank GOODNESS you’re safe! I was worried you had been hurt in the Rocket attack!

Matteo: Actually, Joey held his own.

Molly: (disengages from the hug) He… did?

Joey: (smiling) Mhmm. Next time they face me they should be better prepared! … Preferably with a rabies shot. (Joey looks at Bibarel) You give the guy rabies, Bibarel?

(Bibarel shrugs)

Molly: Oh your Pokemon are simply LOVELY, Joey-Wait… (Molly has a look of horror on her face) My Dedenne!

Malika: He’s still in the cave!

Molly: We have to-

(Suddenly Trixie, Ludwig and their Pokemon teleport to the outside of the cave. Trixie immediately gets to the ground and covers her ears)


Chris: … I feel like she’s trying to tell us something-





(The cave explodes. A bright, shiny, golden explosion that rattles the entire cave and booms smoke out all exits and crannies. From the top of the cave, two figures shoot through the rocky ceiling and soar off into the distance)


(Everyone watches as the Rock Tunnel completely collapses. Nothing left. A whole cave demolished. Everyone just stares in shock... A famous cave in Kanto, gone)

Everyon: ...

Ace Trainers: ...

Cast: ...

Chris: … So THAT’S what happens when we take detours…. Fascinating.

Grace: What WAS that?

Trixie: The shiny blew up. It was a Geodude.

(Everyone groans in annoyance. Natalie is the only one to laugh at everyone’s expense of wanting a shiny)

Molly: D-DEDENNE!!!

(Molly falls to her feet. She sobs into her hands at the cave entrance, crumbled to pieces. Malika is the first to comfort her, followed by Zane, Natalie, Grace and Joey)

Joey: There, there, Molly… I’m sure he’s okay!

Molly: (wiping tears from her eyes) He’s TRAPPED! … Lost! … I… I should have kept my eye on him! I was too… (sniffles) Too trusting!...


(Suddenly, from the rubble, a rock explodes open. A bunch of Machop leap out and start punching away at the rocks. Zubats SOAR out of the remains of Rock Tunnel, and all of the wild Pokemon inside who lost a home. They all walk and fly away to find a new place to live, scurrying from the hole in the top like rats from a sewer)

(The last to emerge are Cubone and Dedenne, walking heroically through the smoke, despite not having done anything, but they walk heroically anyway)

Molly: DEDENNE!!!

(Molly hugs Dedenne. Cubone hugs her as well. Cubone tugs on her dress for the attention, immediately being able to identify a mom-like figure. Molly graciously sweeps up the Cubone too)

Molly: Oh! Dedenne!!!

(Chris approaches and breaks up this sweet reunion)

Chris: Well… that was a grand ol waste of everyone’s time. And Ace Trainers everywhere will be sending me anon hate for that.

Bud: Ace Trainers have too much pride to be anonymous.

(An Ace Trainer walks by. She looks disturbed)

Ace Trainer: We’re not all bad people.

Bud: (yells at Ace Trainer) AAAUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! (Ace Trainer runs)

Chris: Anyway… the winner of today’s challenge is obviously TRIXIE, who encountered the shiny AND faced Team Rocket. Yeah, I can’t believe they’re here either. What a bunch of jokes.

Matteo: I dunno man, they had a...bazooka.

Malika: I second that! They trapped Molly and I in a cave the whole time! We couldn’t do anything!

Chris: So you’re admitting to me that you and Molly did essentially nothing the whole challenge?

Malika: Well yeah… (pause) … Oh crud.

(Molly merely frowns. Malika facepalms at herself. Uh Oh indeed)


=== Girls’ Trailer Steps === (Minutes later, Molly is sitting down on the trailer steps. Joey is standing near her. Cubone is still holding onto Molly’s dress while Dedenne sits on its head)

Molly: I’m so proud of you for standing up to those ghastly goons in there!

Joey: They had it coming. (tips his hat near over his eyes)

(Molly gives Joey a hug. Molly's jus grateful to be okay. The camera pans over to Ludwig walking after Trixie)


(Trixie and Ludwig are both laughing at the challenge and how they handled it that day)

Ludwig: I just can’t believe it was US who found the shiny… Who knew?

Trixie: You just gotta keep moving forward. And that’s not even the biggest victory of today!

Ludwig: (gasps) You unlocked your psychic powers?

Trixie: YES! I communicated with Kadabra today!

(Kadabra floats over. It speaks telepathically to both of them)

Kadabra: (“I can do that with anyone. You're not special”)

Trixie: …

Ludwig: … (crosses his arms) Your Pokemon’s a joykill.

(Trixie sighs)

---> Trixie: No matter. I won today. My confidence is at an all time high. (holds up a spoon and stares at it. She’s trying to bend it. She still needs to figure her ability out)





=== Rock Tunnel, Exterior === (A wide open grassy field. The contestants sit and stand around bunch of rubble and rocks that came from the explosion)

(Bud, Chris and Professor Oak are here to judge)

Professor: I’m back! I think it’s rather neat how I conveniently showed up JUST for this parts.

Chris: … Are you being sarcastic or senile.

Professor: Are you a boy or a girl?

Chris: Yeah, Senile. Anyway! Safety goes to... the following people. Dun dun dun. Trixie… Axel … Ludwig … Amber … Ryuma … Joey … Matteo … Alan … Payton … Bolin … Natalie.

(That leaves Zane, Malika and Molly)

Professor: Molly… you and Malika were in a tight spot… Literally. Neither of you were able to perform today due to extenuating circumstances.

(Molly and Malika look at each other sadly. Molly takes Zane and Malika’s hands and grasps them. The two smile weakly at her)

Professor Oak: Zane. You didn’t catch anything or evolve anything, or even scare off some Ace Trainers. … You didn’t do much.

Chris: Now here comes the boom. Time for decision junction! You three must defend yourselves to save yourselves.

(Chris turns to all of the current safe contestants)

Chris: And the rest of you can as well. Help your friends in the bottom three, or convince us that your enemies should go. Or both. Try and sway our decisions.


(Analysis Of Bottom Three - Episode 5)

---> Payton: Molly sent away her Pokemon in the middle of a cave? A cave where many GROUND type Pokemon live… and she sent away her ELECTRIC type… on its own. Do I even need to try and explain?

---> Ryuma: (sighs) I like all three of the bottom three. … But if I had to condemn someone, it’d be Molly. Sending away her Pokemon after a Ground Type? What if Dedenne got hurt?

---> Amber: Molly got lucky that Dedenne didn’t get seriously damaged. Sorry, ma.

---> Grace: … Gosh, are we all really gonna gang up on Molly? This just doesn’t feel right...

---> Ludwig: I … I have to say Molly. She almost got her Pokemon seriously injured. This is one of those few instances where trust is… over its limit.

---> Trixie: Zane was paired with Axel, so if Zane goes home, I’m blaming Axel. … I can’t blame Malika or Molly for anything today. Team Rocket targeted them. It was just an unfortunate coincidence for them.

---> Alan: … (sighs) It’s hard to cast away a friend… but Molly did decide to send Dedenne off on its own.

---> Matteo: … Uh… … (sighs) Molly. Poor Dedenne could have gotten squashed.

---> Bolin: Molly should have recognized that her Dedenne’s type was in danger if it were to be alone in Rock Tunnel. Onix. Cubone. Geodude. All ground types. She should be more careful.

---> Natalie: (sighs) … I can’t.

---> Axel: … … … … Uhhhh… (Axel looks conflicted. He doesn’t know what to say) … … (He gulps) … … Zane, um… He not only helped me evolve my Nidoran, but he single handidly fought off, like, TWELVE Ace Trainers! Ye-yeah… and saved my life and whatever…

---> Joey: (crossing his fingers) Please not Molly. Please not Molly. Please not Molly.

---> Molly: I can’t bear to send any of these children home when it’s my time to struggle for safety… Malika fell into the Rocket trap because of me. I held us back… (lowers her head) I’m sorry.

---> Malika: (pacing in the confessional) I can’t throw Molly or Zane under the bus. I… I WON’T!

---> Zane: … (nods) If it’s my time. It’s my time.


(Input Submitted. Chris, Bud, and Professor Oak approach the cast after reviewing them)

Chris: Now, obviously the losers should be Molly and Zane. Molly gave a VERY convincing arguement for Malika’s safety.

(Molly and Malika are holding hands. Nobody is surprised that Molly defended someone else when she should have been defending herself)

Chris: … But AXEL said some interesting things about Zane. Let me read them.

(Axel turns pale)

Chris: “”Zane not only helped me evolve my Nidoran, but he single handedly fought off twelve Ace Trainers and saved my life”.

(Everyone looks at Zane. That’s a LOT he accomplished)

Zane: … N-no I di-

Axel: (yells) YUP! It’s true! Every word of it.

Professor Oak: Why don’t we have footage of any of that happening?

Bolin: (shrugs) The cave collapsed. Surely you lost some footage.

Axel: (points at Bolin) T-THAT! Yeah. Duh.

Chris: … (nods) Okay. Seems you have a hidden cool side, Zane. Show us more of that next time.

(Chris throws Zane a poffin. Zane doesn’t protest. He just seems… confused. Then he realizes… Axel lied to save Zane. Zane gasps and looks to Axel with a wide happy expression. Axel just looks away)

---> Axel: (banging his head against the confessional wall) I’m mad at myself as is for LYING… But I lied for HIM?!!? I don't know where this soft spot is, but it needs to chill out.

Chris: MALIKA … MOLLY! What happened today was unfortunate, but you should have been more careful.

Malika: It was TEAM ROCKET, bro! We had no say!

Chris: Well.. prove that one of you can outplay Team Rocket. The battle begins… NOW!

(Molly smiles at Malika and pets her hand again)

Molly: Don’t worry dear. And don’t hold back, because I won’t.

Malika: … I can’t send YOU home, Molly. You’re like… our designated mom.

Molly: (playfully rolls her eyes) I’m a woman in her thirties. Everyone thinks I’m their “mom”. (smirks)

Malika: … (nods gently) Okay…. You’re on.

(The two walk their separate ways to face each other from across the field)




=== ELIMINATION BATTLE === (MOLLY (Fairy) vs MALIKA (Grass) Begin!)

---> Malika: I go from being the winner to the big LOSER… (sighs) … This is my last chance to prove that my previous win wasn’t a total fluke.

(Malika and Molly stand on opposite sides of the field)

(Malika begins the battle. She sends out her Shroomish. Shroomish takes to the field)

Malika: Okay Shroomish! Use Headbutt!

(Shroomish gets a fast running start on Clefairy. Molly merely stands gracefully poised, as does her Clefairy)

Molly: …

Clefairy: …

(The Clefairy ducks out of the way at the last second, having Shroomish tumble through the grass, unable to get up. It wiggles about helplessly)

Malika: N-no!

Molly: I’m sorry, dear… Clefairy, please use Sing.

(Clefairy tiptoes over to Shroomish, wiggling its fingers as it does so. It sings a lullaby in the air that infects its intended target. Shroomish has been put to sleep)

Malika: … (falls to the ground on her knees) … … … Well now I really am something to look at… (Malika looks down in defeat) … You deserve it, Molly-

Chris: -Excuse me. The battle’s not done yet.

Molly: But I’ve rendered her Pokemon unable to battle.

Chris: That’s not a BATTLE. At least knock Shroomish COMPLETELY out. I don’t count asleep as done.

Molly: … (frowns at Chris) Such a temper.

(Molly calls to her Clefairy)

Molly: Clefairy, use… Double Slap, please.

(Clefairy walks over to Shroomish, ready to smack it. Malika just watches in anticipation, fearful the whole time. Her Bounsweet can’t watch)

Natalie: N-no… Not Malika…

Bolin: Should have picked a stronger type.

Natalie: (sharply) Hush up.

(Clefairy gets the first hit of the match)


(One hit. Shroomish flails onto its back again. It’s still asleep)


(Another hit. Shroomish is knocked onto its legs. Clefairy moves to hit Shroomish again)

(Only… Clefairy struggles. Clefairy kneels over and coughs. It shakes and grasps its own stomach. Clefairy’s face turns a strange shade of… fuschia… As if it’s been-)

Malika: -Oh crud! I’m sorry Molly!

Molly: W-what’s wrong!?

Malika: My Shroomish… it…. It

Natalie: (stands up) It has EFFECT SPORE! That’s its ability! (looks to Bolin) HA!

Bolin: (ignoring Natalie) Effect Spore means that if any Pokemon comes in contact with it, it could potentially expose them to a number of toxins. Paralysis. Sleep. In this case, poisoning.

Molly: Oh d-dear! Clefairy!

(Clefairy weakly coughs. This awakens Shroomish. Shroomish blinks and looks at Clefairy. Clefairy’s eyes tear up. Poison beats Fairy)

Molly: … Ohhhhhh dear.

Malika: WOAH! I'm back in! YO! Shroomish. Leech Seed!


(Shroomish disperses seeds into the ground around Clefairy. The poisoning along with the leech seed immediately drains Clefairy down to no health. The leech seed even helped get rid of the poisoning, but Clefairy lies on the ground, truly unable to battle)

Molly: OH DEAR!!!




(Molly puts her Pokemon back in her Pokeball. She pats Malika on the back and proceeds to turn to everyone. Cubone from the cave rushes over and hugs her)

Molly: I had a wonderful time… Truly, I did. Thank you all so much for this opportunity.

(Molly picks up the Cubone. She smiles at it)

Molly: … Would you like to come home with me?

(The Cubone joyously claps, wanting that very much. Dedenne nuzzles against it)

Molly: Jerrold would absolutely adore you.

(Molly is caught by surprise when Joey hugs her, sobbing hysterically)

Joey: M-MOLLY!!! N-NO!!!!

(Molly goes over and starts dabbing Joey’s eyes with a handkerchief she pulls from her purse. She gives him an immediate hug)

Payton: (whispering to Matteo) Is he serious?

(Joey shrugs while “crying” during the hug. Molly releases him)

---> Joey: I was only gonna cry a little… but I cried a LOT because Molly would appreciate that more. (smiles. He seems genuine about that)

Molly: Stay strong, Joey… You and Rattata both. I’m so proud of you…

(Molly stands up and looks to everyone)

Molly: … I hope you all do well. … Fairy Type Pokemon aren’t even fully accepted into Kanto-nian culture yet, so this wasn’t too much a surprise. (giggles)

Payton: It’s not a surprise in more ways than one.

Amber: (yells at Payton) Oh try NOT being a harpy for five seconds!

Payton: (deadpan) One two-you suck. I lost, oh no.

Amber: I’ll ROAST you!

Payton: I will literally bite you. How’s that sound?

(Suddenly, both of their ears are grabbed and Payton and Amber are dragged out in the field before everyone. Molly positions them next to each other)

Molly: Listen young ladies. I’m not fond of this. (gestures to both of them) What you two have been saying and doing during the duration of this game… It’s despicable and saddening to see such lovely ladies behaving so brashly. I want you to get along now. Hug and say sorry.

Amber: ... Are you serious?

(Joey leans in from behind Molly)


(Molly cutely smiles at Joey’s interference)


(Amber and Payton look at one another. They, with the most tangible of death glares, give each other hugs and both murmur simultaneously)

Amber and Payton: Sorry.

Molly: … Now while I know that won’t change either of your behaviors, I just want you both to know that you at least agreed to hug just to shut me up. That’s the first thing you have in common. Start from there.

(Payton and Amber look at each other in bewilderment. They just got “Mom’d”)

(Molly proceeds to walk off, and away from Rock Tunnel. She leaves the area completely. Joey mostly, but pretty much everyone is waving to her as she departs. She blows a kiss to Alan. He chuckles and tips his hat when someone explains to him what she did. She leaves with Cubone, Dedenne and Clefairy)

(Farewell Molly)




=== Boy’s Trailer === (Axel is the first one to walk into the boy’s trailer. He plops onto his bed out of exhaustion. ... )

(Suddenly, Zane bursts in and yanks Axel out of his bed and bear hugs him)

Axel: AUUGGHH!!?!?!?!?!??!

Zane: THANK YOU!!!

Axel: W-WHAT!??!

Zane: I could have battled today, but you swooped in, like like like ZWOOM! Just, descended from above and bartered for my freedom! (dramatically poses) It was like an epic! It WAS epic!

(Axel puts his hands to Zane’s chest and pushes him away, causing Zane to land on his own bed. Axel sits across the room from him)

Axel: I wasn’t helping, I was just being honest. It’s what I do.

Zane: Suuuuuuuure you did. (exxageratingly winks)

Axel: … (sighs) Okay, I felt bad about tossing out your shipping chart. That was a little uncalled for…

(Axel gets in Zane’s face, moving FAST across the room)

Axel: So go ahead and call it “nice” of me to do… but you tell NOBODY that I was “nice” to you, okay?

Zane: (nods) Mhmm. I hear ya. I just wanted to say thank you.

Axel: (loosening up) … You’re welcome.

Zane: … Hey… You wanna see something?

Axel: … (a little creeped out) … PLEASE elaborate before asking something like that.

Zane: It’s about the shipping chart.

Axel: See, that doesn't help.

Zane: Well come on! Only one way to find out!

Axel: That’s not a wise saying to live by when creepy stuff is involved. I would know.

(Zane yanks Axel by the wrist and takes him outside of the trailer)


=== Rock Tunnel, Exterior === (Zane and Axel are peering over a few rocks, looking at something. Axel's eyes widen. Zane is nodding and smiling)

Axel: … No way.

Zane: Way.

(The camera pans to what they’re looking at …)

(Ryuma and Amber are having a rather… intimate makeout session in private behind a grassy boulder. Zane and Axel creepily watch. Axel nods)

Axel: … Oh you’re good at this.

Zane: I know.


(Amber and Ryuma are still making out. Zane and Axel watch in the distance. Amber pushes Ryuma gently off of her so she can LITERALLY BREATH between make outs)

Amber: R-Ryuma …

Ryuma: What?

Amber: … …

Ryuma: (smiles) This is literally the only activity I will voluntarily take slowly if you need me to. (Ryuma frowns and looks at Amber seriously) Are we moving too fast?

Amber: … I… I dunno. (puts her hand to her head) I don’t know why I’m doing this…

Ryuma: We can stop if you want-

(Amber leans forward and kisses Ryuma again. Ryuma goes with it. The two fall over, still making out)

(Axel and Zane both cover each other’s eyes)

---> Axel: (whistling)


=== Outside Trailers === (Grace is currently fixing up the truck even more. Payton and Matteo are standing next to Grace as she fixes the car. Payton and Matteo don't recognize her presence there)

Matteo: (reading a piece of paper) … And these are…

Payton: Trust exercises to do with your Pokemon. More trust; more willingness to listen to you when you tell them not to bite people’s limbs off. Behavior like THAT-

Matteo: -Is bad?

Payton: Yes, but tearing off limbs should only happen on command.

Matteo: … Sandshrew’s never done that.

Payton: As much as some people here could do without limbs, it's probably best to keep it that way, Let’s not give Sandshrew any ideas. So, the excercises I gave you; read em and do them.

Matteo: (reading) … “Mutual nail filing session”. Poffin making. Only give it poffins when it helps make them.

(Matteo walks off. Payton nods to herself, satisfied with Matteo's progress)

(Grace gives Payton a look before he goes. Grace is suspicious of Payton helping Matteo... )

---> Payton: Look, I want Matteo and his Sandshrew to get along so that monster of his can calm down and be less threatening when I ultimately destroy them both. I’d recommend shoving a Soothe Bell down that monster’s gullet, to be frank... (Payton peers) If I put that on the list, would Matteo do it.


(Grace keeps working. She has grease stains all over her. Ludwig and Trixie are walking by)

Grace: (without even looking) Yo! You two! Yeah, you two!

(Trixie and Ludwig stop. They look to Grace. They walk to her)

Grace: (looks at them after removing her head from the engine. Her hair is spiked in all directions) I got a lil proposition for ya.

(Ludwig and Trixie both blush. Even when covered in grease and fumes, Grace looks bankin)

Ludwig: (coughs) Mm. Yeah?

Grace: You two have done pretty well. You’re consistent. (hops up onto the van's hood) I like consistent. (points the wrench at them) I was wondering if you two wanted to, uh, ya know… form an alliance?

Ludwig: An alliance? … W-why?

Grace: (smooth) I think you’re both smart. Smart in two ways. Trixie’s pretty clever. I heard how you got out of today’s mess. Well done, girly.

(Trixie smiles in appreciation)

Trixie: Thank you!

Grace: The only catch is that you can’t harp on about boys around me, or glitter, or anything that I will probably not care about.

Trixie: How am I supposed to know what you don’t care about?

Grace: I’ll make this face. (Grace goes deadpan)

(Even Grace's apathetic face is somewhat attractive. Trixie and Ludwig blush)

Trixie: Okay!

Ludwig: Okay! … So… alliance?

(Grace nods and keeps working)

Grace: It’ll be a pleasure doing business with you.

---> Ludwig: An alliance with Grace. (Ludwig pulls out his notepad) So what will that do stat-wise for the- … (Ludwig puts the journal down slowly) … (nods) Grace seems trustworthy enough. I think I’ll hehe… go with it.

---> Trixie: (fist pumps) I WIN and I get an alliance all in the same day! I’m soaring!

---> Grace: It may be early, but never too early to make connections in the game. I need someone to watch my back. Ludwig can handle the attacks, and Trixie can handle special attacks. Good to have on your side. … (Grace sighs) … It’s REALLY hard to relax in this game, okay? I feel like everybody wants me out, I mean… I only have ONE weakness. What am I supposed to do?




Zane Lute - Ghost type#092 Gastly#302 Sableye
Alan Collins - Dark type#198 Murkrow
Malika Carter - Grass type#761 Bounsweet#285 Shroomish
Amber McLeod - Fire type:vulpix:
Trixie Masterson - Psychic type#677 Espurr#064 Kadabra 
Payton Rothman - Ice type#215 Sneasel 
Grace Cirillo - Electric type#081 Magnemite
Joey Young - Normal type#400 Bibarel#019 Rattata 
Axel Kens - Poison type#023 Ekans#033 Nidorino 
Bolin Temirov - Flying type#397 Staravia#041 Zubat 
Ludwig Von Malmar - Steel type#374 Beldum 
Ryuma Scifo - Dragon typeSophie Sprite
Natalie Harlow - Bug typeButterfree #347 Anorith 
Matteo Rossi - Ground type #027 Sandshrew#095 Onix 

Chapter Text

REGION TROTTERS: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 6

Zane Lute - Ghost type#092 Gastly#302 Sableye
Alan Collins - Dark type#198 Murkrow
Malika Carter - Grass type#761 Bounsweet#285 Shroomish
Amber McLeod - Fire type:vulpix:
Trixie Masterson - Psychic type#677 Espurr#064 Kadabra 
Payton Rothman - Ice type#215 Sneasel 
Grace Cirillo - Electric type#081 Magnemite
Joey Young - Normal type#400 Bibarel#019 Rattata 
Axel Kens - Poison type#023 Ekans#033 Nidorino 
Bolin Temirov - Flying type#397 Staravia#041 Zubat 
Ludwig Von Malmar - Steel type#374 Beldum 
Ryuma Scifo - Dragon typeSophie Sprite
Natalie Harlow - Bug typeButterfree #347 Anorith 
Matteo Rossi - 
Ground type #027 Sandshrew#095 Onix 


=== Vermillion City === (A brimming seaside civilization bordering the sea, as seaside civilizations tend to do. This place is an opulent port with plenty of high energy businesses and its own Electric Type Pokemon Gym)

(Ludwig is walking through town with Trixie. They come across a construction site. Machokes are helping build the structural frame by lugging around concrete and steel beams. They keep showing off and one-upping the human construction workers)

Ludwig: It’s nice that I get to see how home's doing at some point during the game. Perks for trying to attain such a top tier responsibility in your home region.

Trixie: Vermillion City is beautiful, Ludwig! (looks at the construction site) What are they building?

Ludwig: That area’s been under construction since 1996… …

Trixie: …

Ludwig: NO clue what they’re making.


(Trixie starts a wave of shrugs and “I dunno’s” from the sea of construction workers. It even carries over into the town. The Machoke's continue to flex. Ludwig facepalms)

---> Ludwig: I don't wanna be one of those people that uses their intellect to be condescending... but being openly intelligent in Vermillion is a lot more of a hassle then it needs to be. The Gym Leader is very brawn based and it shows in how the rest of the town respects him and carries out his ideals. I personally think the town could learn to respect frail individuals who showcase intellect. Maybe then the construction would eventually FINISH.


=== Boy’s Trailer Bathroom === (Ryuma and Amber are making out in the boy’s trailer bathroom. Yup. This is how this episode is starting out. Ryuma lifts Amber by her legs onto the sink and kisses her into the mirror. Amber is pulling him closer to her. Both are mutually into it... and into it to a pretty intense degree)

(The camera pans to the urinal, which is now decorated lavishly as a shrine to Professor Kukui from the Alola region. Mmm. This scene's got undertone)

(Amber stops the makeout session. A loud "POP" when their lips separate)

Amber: (gasps for breath) It's gonna bother me if I don't ask. Why is the urinal a-

Ryuma: -Don’t ask.

(Amber and Ryuma just keep making out until they hear a knock on the door. Ryuma and Amber stop)

Ryuma: (turning his head) OCCUPIED!

Bolin: (voice) There’s more than one toilet. I can use the other.

Amber: (yells) EVERYTHING'S occupied!

Bolin: (voice) … Amber? Why are you-

Alan: (voice) Bolin. They’re busy.

Bolin: (voice) It’s a bathroom. Why would they be taking so long-

Joey: (voice) -I’M EIGHT and I know what they’re doing! Let them make out, Bo!

Bolin: (voice) … I’m just gonna go find a tree outside.

(Bolin leaves. Amber and Ryuma sigh and continue to … well, yeah do their thing)


=== Boy’s Trailer === (Alan is sipping coffee and reading a newspaper in his usual spot at the table. He notices a presence nearby. The camera zooms out. Joey is leaning over his shoulder, reading the newspaper)

Joey: … How come you have a newspaper if you can’t see?!?

Alan: To create the illusion that I’m busy so people won’t bother me.

Joey: OHHHHHH. … That’s clever! Does it work!?

Alan: … Evidently not.

Joey: I wanna go for a walk. Will you come train with Rattata and me?! Molly usually goes with me, but...

Alan: -No, but while I can't see I can certainly tell you in elaborate detail the feeling of unadulterated physical change that stems from taxes and puberty.

Joey: Nevermind!

(Joey runs. The door outside slams behind him)

Alan: … (sips his coffee and smirks) … Always works.

(Alan sips his coffee and smokes in peace. Classic morning routine)


=== Trailers, Outside === (The trailers are parked near the edge of Vermillion City. Bolin walks out of the boy's trailer and makes his way over to the entrance of the girl's. Bolin stops to look around. There are beautiful ponds and a lush horizon of trees in one direction and the scape of the city in the other)

(Bolin takes a deep breath. He loves nature. He turns to knock on the girl's door)

(Grace opens up, she has a sucker in her mouth. She looks Bolin up and down and takes the sucker out of her mouth and points it at him)

Grace: Something you need?

Bolin: Yes. Give this to Natalie.

(Bolin tosses a Pokeball into the trailer over Grace's head due to how short she is. He instantly makes an attempt to walk away. Grace's eyes widen as she hears the sound of a screech, hiss, wing flappings and a whole lot of girls screaming)

Malika: (voice) IT’S A ZUBAT!!! IT DOESN'T HAVE EYES!!! IT'S NOT CUTE!!!

Payton: (voice) It's broad daylight, what's a ZUBAT doing in here!?

Natalie: (voice) BOOOOOLIIIIIIIIN!!!

(Natalie marches past Grace, clutching the Zubat in her arms. She runs after him. Bolin looks back and notices… just how fast she’s running)

Bolin: …!!!

(Bolin gets slide tackled by Natalie. Despite her tiny size, he falls onto the ground HARD. Natalie stands up and steps onto his chest, not applying much pressure due to her lack of weight. She thrusts the Zubat back in his face. The poor Zubat limply lays next to Bolin's head, stunned by all of the sudden activity)

Natalie: We made a DEAL! You’re training the Zubat and that's final!

(Grace has seen enough. She just slowly closes the trailer door. She doesn't wanna be a part of this)

Bolin: (incredibly calm for a big guy pinned on the ground... granted he could easily move Natalie) I changed my mind. It's too weak. I'd rather catch a stronger Zubat.

Natalie: That defeats the purpose of our deal! You take what you can get and you give it the ol "Bolin Superiority Complex" treatment. You think it's weak? Then fix that! Make it strong! Maybe then you'll stop categorizing Pokemon by "weak" versus "strong".

Bolin: I’m not gonna win with weak Pokemon like Zubat.

Natalie: ... You know what?

(Natalie starts messing with her own hair, tying it up and whatnot. She swipes Bolin’s hat and puts it on her own head. Natalie made her hair look like Bolin’s)

Natalie: (speaking in a gruff monotone voice) I’m Bolin and I can only fight with STRONG Pokemon, because I can't handle training Pokemon that make me actually WORK to get results.

Bolin: (sits up, unamused) That sounds nothing like me.

Natalie: (goes on) I’m Bolin and I never shower! Nature calls, I must leap through the trees and beckon upon the heedful tidings of my fellow birds. I squaw. Malcontented. (stomps around) I only wear wool from the most apathetic of Mareep.

(Bolin gets off of the ground, now standing tall over Natalie. He takes the hat back)

Bolin: Fine. .... (adjusts his hat) I’ll train the Zubat.

(Natalie pulls at one of her locks, releasing her ponytail and allowing her floof and frizzled hair to settle back in)

Natalie: Good to hear.

Bolin: I won't be happy about it, though.

Natalie: Bolin I could give you a gift wrapped Rayquaza on your birthday while the planets are aligning to form you a personal constellation in the sky and I STILL wouldn't expect you to be "happy". I don't think I can even picture it. CAN you smile?

(Bolin is not smiling)

Natalie: (frowning) Well. You don't need to be happy to keep your promise. Just train the Zubat. (Natalie kneels down and scoops Zubat off the ground. She places him in Bolin's hands and turns to walk away)

(Natalie departs, leaving Bolin alone with his Zubat. It screeches in his hands and wiggles about uncomfortably. Bolin looks at it in disgust)

---> Bolin: Natalie should train a different type. She’s a strong trainer who chooses to waste her time working with the weaker types. It’s not my fault I’m more diligent with what I want. (The Zubat gets in his confessional and flies around. Bolin sighs)


=== Vermillion City, Residential Streets === (Ludwig is still giving Trixie the tour of the town. They come across the residential district where there are plenty of lavish and hearty homes)

Ludwig: And over here is our Pokemon Fanclub, which has been instated since before 1995. That’s older than our construction site. (Trixie is taking pictures now. She smiles and nods at Ludwig. Ludwig moves on) And here we have- … AXEL!!?!?

(The two see Axel, the cast Poison Type trainer, spray painting a wall as Zane observes from a few feet away. Axel notices Ludwig and Trixie. He lackadaisically waves)

Zane: HI LUDWIG! HI TRIXIE! (waves) How's it going!? I'm doing GREAT!

Trixie: Hi Zane. (furrows her brows) Axel! What are you doing?

Axel: … If I were to say “vandalism” would you accept that and leave?

Trixie: No! … I mean, yes. But you can’t just do this in the middle of the city!

Zane: (nods) She’s right. Too many witnesses. We’d have to hug them all.

Ludwig: No, Zane. It’s… (Ludwig just gets mad) Could you do that in ANY other town? Just not HERE. Please!

Trixie: (raises an eyebrow at Ludwig) I mean… he shouldn’t really do it anywhere. This is vandalism.

Axel: (holds up a finger) Street art.

---> Trixie: (Trixie puts her hand to her head) Nothing starts up philosophical warfare like a debate over what’s graffiti vandalism and what’s street art… I’ve seen people get punched over that. ... I was the one punching. It was on an online forum.

Ludwig: (getting almost frantic) Please! Not in Vermillion. You could make certain people… upset.

Axel: Who? You? I can take you.

Zane: Wooooah, careful Axel. He’s Steel type. Unaffected by Poison. He's immune to your type. Not a good situation.

Axel: (turns around and puts a hand on Zane’s shoulder) Zane. You’re supposed to back me up, man.

Zane: (puts his hand on Axel’s and frowns) I’m trying. But it’s hard to do when they’re right and you’re not. (smiles awkwardly)

Axel: … (blows a raspberry at Zane and turns to Ludwig) You two. Stop dissing art.

(Ludwig snatches Axel’s spray paint from his hand. Axel doesn't seem bothered. He has a whole trunk of spray paint back at the trailers)

Ludwig: No, Axel. TRIXIE here knows art! She’s producing and storyboarding an entire comic book series which is viewed and adored by millions!

Trixie: (mumbling) I wouldn't say MILLIONS. That's more like an artist's wet dream guestimation.

Ludwig: (poking Axel's chest) She’s worthy of being a champion and is a million times the artist you’ll ever be. What you do isn’t art! It's vandalism and it's trash. Take it down.

(Zane and Trixie move their heads back. Dang, Ludwig... that got intense FAST. The scary part is that Axel just looks undeterred)

Trixie: …

---> Trixie: Did I sound like that when I talked to Axel at Bill’s House?

Ludwig: And furthermore-

?????: -AHEM.

(Ludwig and Trixie turn to see two street workers. They have a Smeargle with them. They’re holding a mop and a wall brusher. They’re glaring at Trixie and Ludwig. The camera pans to where Zane and Axel were. They’re gone)

Ludwig: … (sighs) We’ll wash it down.

(Ludwig reaches for the equipment)


(Ludwig ditches the job and runs. Trixie shrugs and follows. The workers look livid. The Smeargle adds onto Axel’s street art. The workers scold the Smeargle)

(Axel's spray paint is... actually really beautiful. He painted a Duskull with purple tears streaming from its eyes. The tears are turning into Grimers along the wall. It's well done, and now being powerwashed off by Smeargle)


=== Vermillion City Harbor === (Vermillion Harbor has a large series of white painted docks. There's a few trucks with equipment parked to the side. Out in the water are massive ships tied to the shore. One larger ship is pulling in)

(Chris, the host, is standing on the dock in a shabbily put together captain’s uniform. He’s smoking a pipe. Soon, all of the contestants arrive to this spot where they were specifically asked to come to)

Chris: Ahoy-


Chris: (yells back) YOU LET ALAN SMOKE!


Alan: (holds out the cigarette) Why wait?

Natalie: (slaps the cigarette out of his hand) ALAN NO!!!

Alan: I was joking.

Payton: Guys, relax. If Chris WANTS to fill his lungs with smoke and deplete the amount of years he spends on this earth tormenting us then who are we to stop him?

Chris: … (takes a bite from the pipe) … It’s black licorice.

Payton: That's somehow even worse.

Chris: … (angry) ANYWAY. Today’s challenge… is a weird one.

Natalie: Chris, we were inside our Pokemon’s bodies already. We’ve been to the brink as is.

(A couple of sailors were walking by when they heard that. They give Chris and his group funny looks)

Chris: Today, you’re all going to be taking a luxury cruise aboard the S.S. Anne! That’s right! This challenge is all about relaxing.

Amber: Sure sure. But what's the challenge?

Chris: Today the challenge is literally to relax… Whoever relaxes and enjoys themselves the most will WIN.

Everyone: ... / What? / Um? / Seriously? / Is this a joke? / ... Wut

Grace: And we're being JUDGED for this?

Chris: Yup.

Grace: How are we supposed to enjoy ourselves if we know we’re being judged?

Chris: That’s what makes this challenge difficult. You have to convince us you can pretend to relax, or Arceus forbid… GENUINELY relax. We need a champion who doesn't take themselves too seriously. This is the test for that.

Alan: That can't be all. What other criteria is there today?

Malika: Exactly HOW will you be watching us?

Bolin: If I toss a Zubat off a ship in the middle of the night will anyone hear it scream?

(Everyone slowly looks at Bolin. Natalie’s smile turns into a scowl)

Bolin: …

Axel: I think we like you better when you don’t talk.

Bolin: Better than your situation. Nobody likes you Axel; talking or no talking.

Zane: OOOOOOOH BURN!!! … (Axel is making a face at Zane) I mean, he’s wrong. I like you, but still. Burn.

Chris: Are we all ready to set sail? Before we do, Vermillion City’s GYM LEADER will be here to speak with us onboard!

(Ludwig’s expression plummets. Trixie notices the color leaving Ludwig’s face)

Trixie: (whispers) Ludwig, are you okay? And I can't tell that something's wrong because of my (out loud) VAST PSYCHIC POWERS (quiets down) but because you literally turned pale and look like you're about to die on the spot.

Ludwig: … (pulls out his journal. He starts mumbling) Four eight a glass of half (mumble mumble) leif erikson was a lie (mumble mumble mumble) gimme a break of that (mumble mumble) never whip cream (mumble mumble)

Trixie: …

Ludwig: (puts the journal away, having found his answer) … No. I am not fine.

(Ludwig and Trixie follow the rest of the group who have already walked ahead. Onboard the S.S. Anne they go)




=== Onboard S.S. Anne === (The S.S. Anne is a cruise ship with an open deck, and a lounge and soda bar on the inside. The ship has four places to go. There’s the back deck. The front deck. The lounge. And the captain’s quarters… but of course, nobody will be in the captain’s quarters, cept the captain)

(The ship is occupied by many wealthy looking individuals and their pampered Pokemon)

Chris: (gestures around) Welcome aboard the S.S. Anne! Yargh, mateys!

Ryuma: This is a luxury cruise-line, not a pirate ship.

Chris: Any ship's a pirate ship if someone onboard has committed a serious crime.

(Everyone takes a good step back away from Chris)

Chris: Anywwhoziwahtsists, here to explain this challenge is … Vermillion Gym Leader, LT. SURGE!

(THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. The floor shakes. The cast all start to match Ludwig's fearful state, though not to the same degree)

(The slow thumps of a man walking from behind the cast intensify until they suddenly stop. They turn to see Lt. Surge himself. He peers down at them due to his hulking size. He’s incredibly well defined, and has blonde hair and a tank top that shows off every scarily monstrous muscle of his)

Lt. Surge: (nods) Kids.

(Ludwig is hiding behind Bolin and Zane)

Lt. Surge: This episode, you relax.

(Everyone smiles)

Lt. Surge: … For now… Because I’ll be back later in the game... Later, there will be a challenge entirely dedicated to you being MINE for a day. I feel confident in warning you beforehand because you can spend weeks preparing for it but you’ll never be ready enough. I will be running that challenge, and I will push you and your Pokemon to their absolute physical limits. Your bones will do more than ache. By the time I’m done with you, your bones will feel like curdled cheese, crumbling apart like slush at the end of a brutal winter. You won’t be able to stand on your toothpick legs after I’ve finished snapping them off you. You’ll CRAWL for weeks, crying out for your Pokemon’s help. But do you know where they’ll be? Crawling right beside you IF they’re strong enough to survive the challenge. The challenge where I await…. And I will destroy and weed out the weak, because I would rather DIE than see my region’s champion be a useless screwball shrimp. So ask yourselves this… will you prepare for my challenge… or will you find a way to flake out of this game before you can reach it… Because I have some advice for those who think they can’t handle it. (leans forward and whispers) Today’s challenge is easy to botch. If you wanna go home, now’s the time.

(Everyone looks traumatized)

---> Chris: (with Bud in the confessional) You see now why I want HIM to host that challenge and not you?
---> Bud: First that Electric brat fixes MY truck and now this wannabe takes MY challenge!? I wanna be the big scary dude!
---> Chris: Wow. That’s rough. You must feel really useless.
---> Bud: … (chucks Chris out of the interview nook)

Lt. Surge: … GOOD! (turns to walk away) I’ll see you all then.

(As soon as he’s walks away, Ludwig straight up faints. Zane picks him up and throws him over his shoulders. He gives a thumbs up in everyone's general direction)

Chris: SO! Who’s ready to RELAX!?


Chris: Also. One more thing… … (grins) No talking strategy today.

(Everyone gasps)

Chris: YUP. If we catch you talking strategy or just having a bad time… you’re not gonna win. SO… without further ado, the most confusing challenge in history… BEGINS!

(Chris blows an air horn. Suddenly from up above, the captain of the ship leans out of his window)

Captain: HEY!!! STOP THAT!!

(Chris puts down the air horn)

Captain: … THANK YOU.

(The challenge officially begins)


(Everyone slowly disperses… but an odd pair teams up. Payton immediately rushes over and grabs a hold of Malika)

Payton: Hey Mally! (smiles) Maaaaaalika. Mal. Malik. Malikitty. M-Woooord. Wanna go chill in the spas, together?

Malika: There are SPAS!? … (still maintaining her excitement) And why are you being nice to me-

Payton: -You first instinct to my offer wasn't reluctancy. That's a "yes".

(Payton pulls Malika away)

---> Malika: …. (finger guns at the camera) Suspicious content.


(Lt. Surge speaks to Grace before he officially leaves the ship. It's about to depart from the shore)

Lt. Surge: Hey you. Electric Trainer.

(Grace walks over to Lt. Surge and crosses her arms)

Lt. Surge: Nothing, huh? I’m surprised the fellow Electric Type specialist isn’t asking me questions. Or at the very least fawning over a certified professional.

Grace: (snickers) Maybe cuz once I’m the champion, YOU’LL be fawning over ME.

(If Lt. Surge could show emotions, he’d chuckle. Grace casually heads elsewhere)

Lt. Surge: Good to see a confident trainer not afraid to talk me down. (furrows his brow) But if she pulls that sh** during my boot camp challenge, I’ll tear her arms off.

(Lt. Surge leaves the ship for good. The ship has officially left the marina and is heading out into the Kantonian sea)


(Chris and Bud grab Trixie before she can head out)

Chris: Hey, yeah. Trixie, since you WON yesterday, you don’t have to compete.

Trixie: Can I still enjoy myself today with the relaxation challenge? (grins) This ISSSS a luxury cruise line. No better way to spend my day off, right?

Chris: Actually, we thought it’d be funny if we made you stay behind and NOT join us.

Trixie: … That’s not funny, that’s just mean.

Chris: I have a different sense of humor.

Trixie: That’s not humor; I repeat, that's just mean.

Chris: Since you have nothing to lose today, we don't want you present here possibly interferring with the challenge.

Trixie: Okay, see, THAT's fair.

Chris: Cool! We're on the same page then. (yells) CATCH!

Trixie: What?

(Bud picks up Trixie and TOSSES HER OFF THE SHIP. She lands in the water, not too far from Vermillion City, the ship hasn’t moved far)


Chris: … A fish. I dunno? BYE!

(Trixie huffs. Mad. A Tentacool rises next to her. It reaches for her. Trixie yelps and throws out her Pokeball. Her Espurr comes out and sits on her head. Espurr uses a psychic move to ward it off)

(She starts swimming back to Vermillion City. ... Relaxation day, yay)




(The whole cast gets into swimsuits)

(Axel is wearing green swim trunks with a light green tank top)
(Natalie is wearing a sparkly one-piece olive green swimsuit)
(Ludwig is wearing a purple rash vest and black board shorts)
(Ryuma is wearing a black tank top with blue swim trunks)
(Alan is shirtless, wearing no hat, black swim trunks, and sandals)
(Matteo is shirtless and wearing a pair of red swimming trunks)
(Malika is wearing a black tank top with a green bottom-half two piece swimsuit. Her arm tattoos are showing)
(Grace is wearing a sky blue wetsuit)
(Payton is wearing a one piece indigo swimsuit)
(Amber is wearing a two piece red bikini. She keeps the cowgirl hat on)
(Joey is wearing highlighter orange swim trunks and rash guard black shirt)
(Bolin has no hat. Shirtless. Goggles. Brown swim trunks)
(Zane is shirtless and wearing yellow and blue swim trunks with a floral pattern)


=== S.S. Anne, Front Deck === (The front deck is merely lounge chairs on a wooden deck overlooking the sea in front of the ship. A couple of guests are already here)

(Grace brings a lounge chair. She places it down and sits. She begins to take a nap. Honestly, where can you go wrong with a nap? Her Magnemite rests gently on the ground by the side of her chair)

(Grace pauses for a moment unable to sleep. She looks to her other side. In another lounge chair are Ryuma and Amber making out. PDA is one thing, but SWIMSUIT PDA… Yeah. That’s a lot)

(Grace stands up and scoots the chair away)

---> Grace: Straight people.


=== S.S. Anne, Back Deck === (On the back deck, there’s a hot tub and a swimming pool. There’s already a lot of people onboard. The cast claim certain spots to figure out how they’re gonna handle this challenge)

(Malika and Payton are sitting in the hot tub with their Pokemon. Shroomish and Bounsweet are kinda just floating on the surface. Payton’s Sneasel doesn’t wanna get wet)

(Matteo is trying to nap on a floating innertube in the middle of the pool. Every time a little kid jumps in the pool he gets splashed and sputters and freaks out… before slowly drifting back to sleep… And then the process happens all over again)

(Zane is running towards the pool with Axel in his arms over his head. They’re combining their weight to make a splash bigger than an average cannonball)


(They jump right next to Matteo. He flips upside down on his innertube. Still asleep. Zane politely flips him back over. Matteo still sleeps)

(Unfortunately, a rich patron gets a little bit wet from one of Zane’s splashes. The rich person has a Snubull)

Snubull: Snuh!

Dootlehoot McRicherson: “SNUH” is correct!! Wot is this?! Some rrrruffian has soaked my pair of opulent waterproof crocs?!? JEEVES! Throw them away!

Snubull: SNUH!!!

(Dootlehoot gives his crocs to a butler who proceeds to toss them off the ship)

(Axel and Zane are in the pool, but they look at one another)

Axel: … I have a good idea of how we can have some fun today…

(Axel starts whispering to Zane. The two concoct a plan to entertain themselves... )


(Natalie is trying to take a nap on a lawn chair. She has her Anorith on her lap. It’s snoozing. Bolin sits across the pool from her. She opens an eye and sees him glaring. She decides to take the high road and ignore him)


(Natalie looks to the side. A white blob now sits on her shoulder.... She slowly looks up. Bolin's Staravia is flying overhead)

(Natalie looks at Bolin again. He’s smiling)

Natalie: (narrowing her eyes) Oh NOW he's smiling... 

(This means war)


=== S.S. Anne, Captain’s Quarters === (The jolly captain is driving the ship. He has an abundance of controls in front of him. He’s steering the wheel of the ship)

Captain: …

(Joey slowly emerges onscreen next to him)

Captain: …

Joey: … (points at a button) What’s that do?

(The Captain jumps for a moment, frightened by Joey’s arrival. The whole ship jerks for a second)

Random Man: (voice) MY LEG!!

Matteo: (voice) HUH!?

Woman: (voice) OH MY GOSH!

Dootlehoot: (voice) JEEVES! FIX THE OCEAN!

Captain: … (gains control of the ship again) H-hello there boy! What brings you to the captain’s quarters?

Joey: (leering) You’re changing the subject. (is still pointing at the button)

Captain: Oh THAT?! (he merrily laughs, full of joy and life) That, my boy, turns the heating on and off.

(Joey moves his finger to another button)

Joey: What’s that do?

Captain: Moderates the shutters.

Joey: (points to a different button) And that?

Captain: Dumps the waste.

Joey: (points to a different button) And that?

Captain: Turns on the overhead speaker.

(This goes on for quite a bit)


=== Lounge Area === (The lounge area has a bar. There’s a couple of tables for people to sit and chat. One table is CLEARLY gambling. Ludwig enters by himself, alone without Trixie's company. He sits at the bar at the far end)

Ludwig: Hi. Can I have a-... (pause) … What do they serve here?

Bartender: Well we have gin and tonics, tequila, classic rum-

Ludwig: -W-WOAH! Why are you telling me this?! I’m clearly underage! I’m 15!

Bartender: Kid-I mean.. Fully grown adult, listen here. The legal age to travel the world alone with an untrained wild animal is 11. … People don’t care. Now what do you want?

??????: Hey kid!

(Ludwig turns around)

Bartender: (upset) Don’t call him a kid. He won’t wanna buy anything from me!

(The gamblers ignore the Bartender. They call Ludwig over. He seems a little… estranged)

Gambler: Hey. You. Come over here. You look like a smart guy. You wanna go a few rounds?

(The Gambler reveals that he and two friends are playing a game of poker)

Ludwig: Oh. I don’t gamble. I’m sorry.


(Ludwig looks over at who said that. It’s ALAN. Alan walks in more wobbly and jittery than usual. He’s behaving as if his blindness was MUCH more easily apparent. His grasps Ludwig’s shoulder)

Alan: This is Ludwig. He’s my younger brother. Also dedicates his time to being my helper. Of course we’ll play a game with you!

Ludwig: W-what? N-no! I-

(Alan sits Ludwig down at the table. Alan takes a seat too)

Gambler: (prodding) Why do you need a helper? Something wrong with you? You blind?

Alan: (taps his shades) Are YOU blind? Of course I am!

(The gambler gets a laugh out of this. They chuckle)

Alan: So tell me. What are we gambling for?

Gambler: Well, I have a few items here. A King’s Rock, a DeepSeaScale, A Dusk Stone, a Magmari-

Alan: -Oh that sounds fun! We’ll play a round.

(Ludwig is so confused)

Gambler: … (smirks) … Alright then. Let’s play.

(Alan, the gambler and his two friends, and Ludwig, begin an intense session of poker. Ludwig looks oddly at a Sableye owned by one of the gamblers. It’s holding its own deck of cards. It hisses at Ludwig)

---> Ludwig: (shaking his head) Where am I?


=== Front Deck === (Ryuma is alone on a chair, sleeping. He wakes up and notices that Amber is not on his chair anymore)

Ryuma: …

(Ryuma looks next to him. Grace is asleep on her own chair. But Amber is now ALSO on Grace’s chair fast asleep)

Ryuma: Um….

(Grace slowly wakes up. She notices Amber spooning her. Amber’s asleep)

Grace: …

(Grace slowly, and I mean SLOWLY, shoves Amber off of her chair. Grace smiles once Amber plops against the wooden deck. Grace rolls over and goes back to sleep)

(Amber, disoriented, gets up)

Amber: … Umm…

Ryuma: …

Amber: … (shrugs) Dunno why I did that.

Ryuma: … (smiles and shrugs back) It's okay. It's Grace, so I can't blame you.

(Grace, eyes closed, tongue clicks and fingers guns in the two's direction. Ryuma is casually laughing it off, but Amber huffs angrily and sits back on Ryuma's chair without responding to the situation. Ryuma looks a little taken aback by her quick defenses... but drops it. It's cuddle time)


=== Back Deck === (Payton and Malika are in the hottub. Payton is REALLY relaxed. Relaxed to the point where we don’t ever see anything below her shoulders leave the water. You know that feel. Relaaaaaxed)

Payton: Sooooo Malika. Since we’re such good friends and so like-minded, I had a fun little idea for us…

Malika: I didn’t buy any of that, but today’s not the day to act on suspicions, amirite? (laughs)

Payton: Ha. Yeah.

(Payton rises up and reaches out of the pool to grab a clipboard she has inside of a ziploc bag. She has it so she can put her hands inside and write without the fear of it getting wet in case she drops it)

Malika: How long was that sitting there?

---> Payton: Zane gave me a shipping chart. A chart of EVERYONE in the game and their potential romantic interests. I don't particularily care for it because this game is about as long as an average summer, and summer romances are for one-note archetypes with commitment issues… But it gave me a good idea for a PLAN to throw a lot of people here off their game. (pause) … (Payton smiles widely. Suspicious) WHICH I’m not doing, because today is about relaxation. (gives a thumbs up)

(Payton starts writing down on it)

Payton: I thought it’d be fun… if we were to rate the hotness of all the boys left in the game… (pause) Except for Alan cuz he's old and Joey cuz he's young.

Malika: … Why are you being so cool right now?

Payton: (shrugs) Cuz I am and literally am. Ice Type, I have quotas to fill. Also, I'm just trying to make friends. Watching a cave being blown to smithereens really opened my eyes to the fact that I need to get out there more.    

Malika: … (nods) A hotness list sounds like a good time.

Payton: (nods) Alright. Let’s start.

(Payton and Malika begin making a list of hotness, rating the guys left in the game. WHY Payton is doing this… we don’t know… or more importantly… WHO is she trying to hurt?)

---> Payton: I have my reasons. (smirks and glances to the side) But for now, let’s say that I’m just in the mood to judge.


(Bolin is relaxing in his seat. Suddenly, his Staravia whams into the deck next to his chair. It’s tied up in a cocoon of string. It has a sticky note on its beak)

(Bolin reads it while simultaneously ripping sticky string off of his Staravia. The bird is comically tied up and gagged with silk)

(Sticky Note Reads "Weak”)

(Bolin looks across the pool. Natalie and her Butterfree slyly wave at him. Bolin clenches the note angrily and shouts)

Bolin: Flying Type is NOT weak! You literally used a Flying Type to do that! (gestures at Staravia)

(Natalie just keeps waving. It’s time to counterattack)


(A rich person is currently golfing on the edge of the ship. They’re just hitting golf balls out into the sea and clubbing Wingull and Pelippers in the face. He has a little sandwhich on the side of a small table next to him)

Tortmorton Von Bigbucks: HO HO HO! What a shot that was! STEWARDESS!!!

(The same butler as before walks over)

Tortmorton Von Bigbucks: Fetch me my BALLS.

(The butler sighs and puts on flippers and a scuba mask. They dive off the boat, still in full formal butler-attire)

(There’s a sandwhich on the side for Tortmorton. Zane sneaks in and takes the cheese off of it)

(Tortmorton takes a bite, not noticing what Zane did)


(The butler climbs back on the ship with a bag of wet golf balls. They sigh in annoyance. Axel and Zane giggle offscreen)


=== S.S. Anne Buffet === (Across the room from the poker table and bar that Alan and Ludwig are at. Malika is at the buffet. She’s filling up her plate when Amber approaches with food stacked well above her own height)

Malika: Hey Amber!

Amber: Hey Mal. What’s cookin?

Malika: Not much, but get this! They let you eat food in the jacuzzi! I’m gonna- (Malika looks at how much food Amber has) -DEAR ARCEUS!!!

Amber: What? Fire Type trainers know how to burn calories.

Malika: Can they prevent HEART ATTACKS, girl!? You gonna be okay?

Amber: Lighten up, Gothmoss, I’ll be fine.

Malika: I’m not worried about “lightening up”.

(Amber uses the tongs on the buffet table to take a few chicken legs off of her own plate and put them on Malika’s)

Amber: Food is a heck of a drug, Punkpuff.

(Amber takes her food and leaves. Malika just stares in horror)

Malika: H-hey! Amber!

(Amber turns around)

Malika: … (slyly) You gotta tell me… Ryuma. You gotta give me the details on that. Cuz, girl, you’re LUCKY. (Malika muses) So, what’s he like? He acts like such a gentleman around you. Is he … (Malika shoulder shimmies) “ungentleman-like” elsewhere, if you know what I mean?

Amber: What?

Malika: Ryuma's one of the hottest guys in the game, girl! I'm asking for research purposes, but also flagrant self interest. So gimme the details. (bats her eyes) Ryumaaaaa.

Amber: … (nervously coughing) C-can’t talk! Having a heart attack! I’ll just, uh… I HAVE TO GO!

(Amber leaves with all of her food. Malika just stands idly)

---> Malika: My adoptive parents are really chill. I get a LOT of freedom. Consider it the Alola mentality. (bounces eyebrows) Word to the wise. Everyone in Alola is hot. These conversations pass by every minute.




=== Vermillion City, Harbor === (Two women are fishing at the end of the dock. One of them reels something in)

Fisherwoman #1: I got somethin, Ma!

Fisherwoman #2: That’s great, Debby… and stop calling me “Ma”.

(Debby reels her line in. The hook has the back of Trixie’s sweater. Trixie has her arms crossed. She spits out water and appears to be absolutely furious)

Fisherwoman #1: … How much you think we can sell this for?

Fisherwoman #2: We don’t believe in human trafficking, Debby. We’ve been over this.

---> Trixie: (wringing water out of her hair) Well… … Now what!?

(Trixie is trudging down the dock, soaked. She notices how loud her stomps are. She stops… and then notices a shadow. She turns around and looks up)

(Behind her is LT. SURGE)

Lt. Surge: … I saw you jumped off the boat. I take it you heeded my warning and gave up…

Trixie: (terrified) N-no … I actually … um… I … You see, I um…

Lt. Surge: SPEAK UP!

Trixie: (cowering) I won last episode so they excused me from the challenge! (cringes)

Lt. Surge: …. (leers) … Is that so?

(Trixie awaits whatever onslaught Lt. Surge shoots at her)

Lt. Surge: … (smiles widely) WELL GOOD FOR YOU! You didn’t need that pathetic challenge anyway.

Trixie: … Huh?

Lt. Surge: So what are they having you do in the meantime?

Trixie: … I guess… nothing.

Lt. Surge: You should train your Pokemon at the Vermillion Gym. Or you can stay at my place until they get back. My wife and I love visitors. Can’t say the same for my shut-in son. But you won’t be seeing him today.

Trixie: Oh… um.. Where is he?

Lt. Surge: (motions for Trixie to follow him) Come. My wife makes excellent cereal.

(Trixie decides to follow the suddenly perky Lt. Surge. This is very strange for her)



Chapter Text

REGION TROTTERS: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 6

Alan (DARK), Axel (POISON), Bolin (FLYING), Joey (NORMAL), Ludwig (STEEL),  Matteo (GROUND), Ryuma (DRAGON), Zane (GHOST), Amber (FIRE), Grace (ELECTRIC), Malika (GRASS), Natalie (BUG), Payton (ICE), Trixie (PSYCHIC)

=== S.S. Anne, Captain’s Quarters === (Joey is asking about every single button on the captain's control panel. The captain looks more tired since the last time we saw)

Joey: (points at a button) What’s that do?

Captain: (sluggishly) Tints the windows.

Joey: (points at a button) What’s that do?

Captain: Turn signals.

Joey: (points at a button) What’s that do?

Captain: Fireworks.

Joey: (points at a button) What’s that do?

Captain: Transforms the ship into a crime-fighting robot.

Joey: (points at a button) What’s that do?

Captain: Calls my mom.

Joey: (points at a button) What’s that do?

Captain: Summons an employee to give me a back massage.

Joey: (points at a button) What’s that do?

Captain: Locks this room so nobody can get in which I should have pressed in hindsight.

Joey: (points at a button) What’s that do?

Captain: UGHHHHH!!!

(This goes on)




=== Vermillion City, Lt. Surge’s House === (Trixie is sitting at a small kitchen table with Lt. Surge and his wife, who places down tea and biscuits for them to enjoy. The house is hilariously small in comparison who Lt. Surge’s ginormous figure. He’s crouched over and sipping from a tiny tea kettle. Straight from the kettle)

Mrs. Surge: (putting a hand on Trixie's) So you’re a part of that new reality show, huh? How EXCITING. You know the whole region is watching and can't WAIT for a new champion to be crowned. (starts collecting the dishes) I'm personally rooting for you. (winks)

Trixie: Ohhhhh (Trixie blushes and sways at the air) Thaaaank you! (straightens up) Though I’m still a little confused as to how one season of this show is equal to taking on the entire gym challenge AND defeating the league. That's how you normally become champion, right?

Surge: (finished eating) We're using the Region Trotter's system since we can't allow people to gain such an important position through brute power alone. The Region Trotters idea was pitched af few years ago when the leader of a freaky cult beat the champion of Unova. (Lt. Surge assures Trixie) The gym leaders of this region came together and designed at least one challenge each, so in a way you’re still facing the gym leaders. We're testing you on factors we believe a champion should be able to endure.

Trixie: Well that’s pretty neat! Regardless of how any of us place, we're bound to get a lot stronger. And if I lose, at the very least I’ll be able to promote my comic series.

Surge: Comics? ... You’d get along with my son. (sips coffee) Come to think of it, have you?

Trixie: How would I know your son?

(Lt. Surge smirks and looks in the direction of his wife. Trixie is confused. She looks where Surge is looking)

(Trixie looks at the counter that Mrs. Surge is washing dishes at. She sees a family photo there where Surge is glancing… In the frame there’s Surge, his wife, and…. )


Trixie: … (looks at Surge) … (looks at the photo) … LUDWIG VON MALMAR’S YOUR SON!?

Lt. Surge: I made him sign up so he could toughen up and get outside more. I wanted him to be an Electric Type user like myself, but he wanted Steel. So his mother and I, being the supportive parents we are, got him the rarest Steel Type out there. A Beldum. And yet still he stays cooped up on his room doing "research" and burying his nose in that journal of his.

Trixie: Yeah. I’ve noticed his… habits.

Lt. Surge: Isn’t the mumbling absolutely aggravating? I want to light that journal on fire.

Trixie: Or in your case, strike it with lightning.

Lt. Surge: If we’re being blunt, I could tear it apart with my bear fists.

(Surge and his wife chuckle at this. Trixie frowns, seeing this huge slab of insight into her friend’s life… )

Trixie: ... So where does "Von Malmar" come from? Shouldn't his name be Ludwig Surge.

(Surge sips his coffee. His wife says nothing)

Trixie: (gasps) ... Is "Surge" not really your last name? Is it basically a stage name-

(Trixie stops talking when Surge gives her a glare. Trixie was about to joke around, but bites her lip and says nothing. Trixie hit a sensitive spot)

(Trixie continues to sip her coffee. This is awkward)




=== S.S. Anne, Lounge Area === (Alan and the gamblers looks INCREDIBLY bored. Ludwig is in the process of writing in his journal and mumbling again)

Ludwig: Great yak counters (mumble mumble mumble) hoot goes the rooster (mumble mumble mumble) yeah no why (mumble mumble)

(One of the gambler’s is sleeping and leaving a puddle of drool that engulfs his cards. The Sableye gambler is gnawing on its own claws in pure boredom. Alan is tapping his fingers on the table impatiently)

(Ludwig looks up, snapping his journal closed)

Ludwig: … I’ll put in three and a half chips into the pile.

Alan: … You can’t put in half chips, Ludwig.

Ludwig: … Oh…

Alan: I have an idea to make this game a little more interesting. Ludwig. Can I see your Beldum?

(Ludwig hands his Pokeball over to Alan. He trusts him. ... Instant regret. Alan puts his own Pokeball on the table too)

Alan: We’re raising the betting stakes. If we win, we get ALL your treasures. If you win, you keep our Pokemon.


Gambler: -DEAL!

Ludwig: My dad will KILL me if I-

(A wild game of Poker ensues. Ludwig is spooked by this. The gamblers and the Sableye are all wide awake and back at it)


=== Back Deck === (The pool. Currently, Payton and Malika are making their list of hottest guys on the show, something Payton is oddly insistent that they do)

Payton: (holding up a piece of paper with a zip lock bag around it so it doesn't get wet) So we agree on the top four. 

Malika: Oh definitely. I'm surprised Axel is this high, though.

Payton: He's got a "bad boy" bonus. In addition, he's a SCRAWNY bad boy, which means he poses no physical threat. And a helpless bad boy is a rare breed.

Malika: Personality-wise, he reminds me of that little dog from Scooby Doo.

Payton: That is a COMPELLING counterarguement IF we were bringing personalities into the mix; but because of that comment I will never see Axel the same. I'm disgusted. Anyway, let's continue.

Malika: So all that’s left is to rank Ludwig and Bolin. I’d say Ludwig and last… Bolin. Cuz let’s be real here… (cringes) Bolin’s a nice guy, but-

Payton: -Is he? Regardless of who they are as people, I think we should put LUDWIG as last.

Malika: What? Ludwig? Last? Sure he’s not hot but he’s a cute patoot, ya know? He's got that blonde-hair-blue-eyed thing that world history seems to have a thing for, ya know?

Payton: Sure but every other guy is like that. Ludwig's boring. Now Bolin. Bolin is 'rugged'. 

Malika: … I don’t… see it. I think we should make it Ludwig then Bolin.

Payton: But Malika, Bolin’s such a… (smirks at Malika) He's such a mountain MAN. Just imagine it, Malika. You're lost in the mountains, running from a herd of rabid Gogoat, and from the top of the hill, a built man is sillohuetted by the sun and calling down to get your attention. He whistles. At first you think it's a cat call. All the way out here in the mountains? But no, it's your own rugged HERO. He scares away the rabid Gogoat herd with his exotic bird-calling abilities. He leaps down from atop the ledge and lands with a tremendous THUD onto the dusty ground, showing no signs of harm from the fall. He's. That. Sturdy. He sweeps you up in his arms and whispers sweet sweet condescending and deadpan travel tips into your ear. (Payton pauses) ... I just turned myself off.

(Malika's eyes are sparkling. She's picturing it)

Malika: Wooooooow.

(Payton writes it down. She's succesfully gotten Malika to agree with her choice)

Payton: Perfect! Then it’s done! List complete!

(Payton rolls up the list and hands it to her Sneasel. Sneasel runs off with it)

(Malika WOULD question why Payton gave the list to Sneasel, but Malika is too encapsulated by Payton's scenario she painted in Bolin's favor)

(Payton has a dirty, cruel smirk on her face indicating that yes… she’s up to something)


(MONTAGE TIME. Prank war between Bolin and Natalie. And Axel and Zane picking on rich people)

(Anorith sneaks under Bolin’s chair and clips his swim trunks. Bolin stands up to walk to the bathroom. Everyone stares at him… the back of his trunks ripped wide open. Censor bars gotchu, bro)


(Natalie is having a waiter bring her a platter of drinks. Bolin’s Zubat uses Supersonic on the waiter. In their state of confusion, the waiter tosses the drinks all over Natalie. Thankfully it was just water-no it was Sprite. It was all Sprite. Oh Arceus it's so sticky)


(Axel and Zane are disguised as artists, wearing fake mustaches and berets. They’re doing caricatures for people. They’re currently doing one for a rich person named Madame Cash Endabankes. They show her the picture. It’s a Trubbish with her face on it. She starts hollering for her butler in a rage of pompous fury. Axel and Zane flee from the butler)


(Bolin tries getting out of his lawn chair but can’t. The chair is covered in String Shot sticky silk. He shakes his fist at Natalie across the pool)


(Natalie is doing a crossword puzzle. Staravia perches in the water next to Matteo. It squawks loudly in his ear. Matteo flounders out of the inner tube and splashes in the water, causing Natalie’s crossword to get soaked)


(A rich snoot named Bub Bibdollar is resting in a chair. A dollar on the end of a fishing line is lowered in front of his face. He starts daintily reaching for it before getting out of his seat and jumping for it, always out of his reach)

(Axel, Zane and the butler are giggling from the second floor deck, being the perpetrators behind this with their fishing line)


=== Front Deck === (Ryuma is now taking a nap. He hasn’t budged at all. Grace is on the other chair. Amber, who was with Ryuma a bit ago, isn't there)

(Amber is fishing nearby over the edge of the ship. Bones of all the food she’s eaten are lying around at her feet. She reels up the fishing line. She used a chicken leg as bait)

Amber: … Gotta give Ryuma some credit, this is harder than it looks …

(Amber sighs looking over at Ryuma. She looks shamefully back down at the water)

---> Amber: We moved too fast… I don’t know what I was thinking… I don’t even get much out of it! (pause) I mean! … Uh, nevermind. I didn't mean it like that. I TOTALLY get stuff out of this relationship. Why wouldn't I?

(Amber sees Sneasel running out of the corner of her eye. Payton’s Sneasel. Amber turns fiercely towards it)

Amber: (calmly) Did Satan send you?

(Sneasel chucks a piece of paper at Amber’s face. Amber is instantly set off. She stomps at the Sneasel. It scurries out of sight, FAST)


(Amber looks over to make sure she hasn’t woken up Ryuma or Grace. Thankfully the two stay asleep. Before Amber can resume fishing, she looks down and notices the paper Sneasel threw at her)

(Amber picks it up and reads it. She looks over it and raises an eyebrow)

Amber: It’s a… a hotness list? (squints) Woah, look at all those signatures-WAIT! Are one of those MY signature?!

?????: Whatcha got there?

(Amber looks over at Ryuma’s seat. He’s gone and now standing next to her, looking at the paper. He did wake up)

Amber: RYUMA!

(Ryuma takes the paper from her. Amber wasn't holding on particularity tightly, but tries to grab it back. Ryuma is smiling and playfully pushing her away so he can look)

Ryuma: Ohhhhh! (Ryuma steps away and reads. He's giggling) … WOAH! Is this a hotness chart of all the guys in the game? (gasps and smiles looking at the paper) You and ALL the girls signed this. A collaborative effort, ooooooh. (smugly) Amber, you have friends?

Amber: What? No! I mean YES I have friends, but NO to being involved in that list. I never touched that!

Ryuma: Awwwwww. Was this not supposed to get out? (grins) I won't tell any of the other guys.

(Ryuma looks at the list. ... His grin turns to a confused look. He glances up at Amber)

Ryuma: Ahhh... I'm number two.

Amber: I dunno why! I'm sorry! It's not mine! I think you're hot, I swear! You're number one to me! You're SMOKIN! You have muscles and everything I'd need and want and-

Ryuma: Woah, Amber, I'm not MAD at you, I-

Amber: (Amber throws her arms into the air) It's not mine! Drop it!

Ryuma: (putting his hands up defensively) Woah, I'm not attacking you-

(Amber has stormed off. Ryuma is not sure what just happened)

---> Ryuma: I’m not MAD… just confused. Neither of us should be making something big out of this, but… I dunno, Amber’s kind of almost my girlfriend now, and I haven’t been getting a lot of good vibes from her lately. Maybe she’s not over our fossil incident the way I am yet. I get over things fast.

(Payton’s Sneasel re emerges from hiding. It swipes the paper and runs off with it)

(Grace saw the whole thing and was pretending to sleep)

Grace: … Not getting involved.

(Grace naps more)


=== Back Deck === (Matteo is snoozing as Staravia and Butterfree literally brawl above him in the air. Bolin and Natalie have made forts made out of lawn chairs and umbrellas on opposite sides of the pool)

Natalie: You’ll never win, Bolin!

Bolin: This is childish!

Natalie: And yet we're both doing it!

Bolin: Staravia! Use Pluck!

Natalie: Don’t you DARE take Butterfree’s berry!

(Bolin’s Staravia takes Butterfree’s Sitrus Berry)

Natalie: You are HEARTLESS!


(Malika and Payton are watching from the hot tubs)

Malika: … Okay, I’ll admit. Bolin’s a LITTLE attractive when he’s mad.

Payton: EVERYONE’s attractive when they’re mad. Intense emotions evoke intense emotions from others. That's why people who hate each other often end up getting married and later divorced.

Malika: (nonchalantly) MY birth parents are dead.

Payton: ... (unfazed) Cool.


Natalie: It’s over Bolin! I have an ally! (Zane pops up next to Natalie) Zane’s on my team!

Zane: (holds up a foam finger) Go bugs!

Bolin: Well I have one too. I commandeered Axel.

(Axel pops up next to Bolin. He shouts)

Axel: Zane you TRAITOR!

Zane: I’ll never forget you!

(They all send out their Pokemon to attack each other in the pool. Matteo just snoozes on his inner tube through the whole thing. Gastly, Ekans, Nidorino, Staravia, Zubat, Anorith and Butterfree have an all out brawl)

Malika: WOO! Go join the fun, Bounsweet!

(Malika sends out her Bounsweet who immediately gets picked up by Staravia and chucked at Butterfree, who gets clonked by it and falls into the pool)

Malika: You should get Sneasel in on this.

Payton: Hard pass.

---> Malika: I’d like to think that Payton and I are bonding… but she’s ended every other sentence with a really disturbing sideways glance and an evil looking smile… sooooooo I don’t know what to think, but she is not good at hiding those moments.

---> Natalie: That was actually… kind of fun. But only because I won, clearly. (nods) It's true justice when the underdog takes a win. ... I did win, right?

---> Bolin: … (shrugs. No comment)


=== S.S. Anne, Lounge Area === (The gamblers are all flabbergasted. Alan, despite being blind, whooped them all. Ludwig is flabbergasted too. He lost his Beldum in the match. The gamblers have it now)

(Alan is clutching his new bag of treasures that he won from the gamblers. His Murkrow sits proudly on his shoulders)

Alan: Pleasure doing business.

(Alan walks out of the lounge. Ludwig looks to the gamblers)

Ludwig: He won, so I get my Beldum back, right?

Gambler: HECK NO! He cheated us!

Ludwig: How’d he cheat you?

Gambler: He said he was blind, but he won! He must've somehow FELT the cards!

Ludwig: This IS a brail deck.

Gambler: Oh now you’re REALLY not getting your Pokemon back with THAT attitude at us! Besides, this Pokemon is gonna make us RICH!

(The Gambler gets up and walks away, laughing callously at Ludwig, parading off with his Beldum. Ludwig is absolutely floored. Beldum cries out to Ludwig, but is stuffed inside of a bag)

Ludwig: … This can’t be happening… This CAN’T be…

(Ludwig stands up)

Ludwig: I just lost my Pokemon… I can’t get him back! … And my DAD is waiting back at Vermillion City and I’m gonna have to tell him!

(A piece of paper hits Ludwig’s face. Sneasel threw it from behind the bar. Ludwig reads it)

Ludwig: … AND literally ALL of the girl’s in the game think I’m the ugliest guy here!?!?

(Ludwig walks over to the bar and sits down. He flops his face against the counter)

Ludwig: How can this day get any worse!?

Bartender: Eh, kid. Move. The pie eating contest is about to start.

Ludwig: (lifts his head) The what?

(Without any hesitation, employees wheel in AN ENTIRE BUFFET OF PIES into the room and position them EVERYWHERE, completely trapping Ludwig in a smorgasbord of pies)

(People start flooding the room for the pie eating contest. All of the contestants are here too, concluding their day of "relaxation")

Natalie: I can beat you at this, Bolin!

Bolin: You wish.

Amber: (yells at them) I’ll bury both of you! I'm mad right now, so I have an edge!

(The room slowly starts rumbling from all the activity. Ludwig is shaking in the corner. Everyone stops a moment and just stares at him)

Ludwig: … THERE…

(Grabs a table)

Ludwig: WILL BE…

(Lifts it over his head, running purely on adrenaline)

Ludwig: NO!!!

(Tosses the table)

Ludwig: PIES!!!

(A sea of pies completely slam into the rest of the cast coating them in layers of food. They all blink in confusion before Grace picks up another pie and throws it back at Ludwig)

Grace: FOOD FIGHT!!!


(The entire cast erupts into a brawl of pies, it’s absolute madness. Everyone’s screaming and dodging. Multiple wealthy people run for their lives)

Dootlehoot: NOT MY KHAKIS!!!

Bub: MY WORD!!!

Tortmorton: JEEVES!!!

(The butler runs down the room splattering pies in all their faces. He’s having a roaring time)

---> Ludwig: … (spits out pie) … (he’s seething) That counts as my workout for the month.

---> Zane: (is eating a pie quietly in the confessional) … We weren’t allowed to eat them in the fight, so here’s where it’s fair game.

(A man runs into the room)


(They all drop everything they’re doing to go watch this battle. Ludwig is lying down in the aftermath of pies. His eye is twitching and he looks absolutely miserable. Grace approaches him)

Grace: Ludwig?

Ludwig: You s-said we were in an alliance… so why weren’t you h-helping me?

Grace: … Aw, bud. We picked a weird time to ally, right before the “relaxation” challenge. I figured if we tried talking strategy, then we’d get docked.

Ludwig: … (wipes his nose and slowly leaves the room) Well I wanna dock already… …

(Grace looks genuinely worried for Ludwig)

Grace: Ah geez.

(Grace follows him)


=== Front Deck === (The captain is SEETHING. He’s red and furious and looks absolutely mad. He’s screaming and cracking his knuckles)


(His opponent is… Joey, who is peacefully standing at the other end of the dock)

Joey: (waves) Hi everyone!

(Everyone has gathered around for this fight)

Captain: GO … POLIWRATH!!!

(Captain sends out a monster of a Pokemon. It’s a tadpole, but HUGE and with legs and arms and no tail. It has a swirling hollow chest with its organs flowing in spirals inside. It has beady eyes and white gloves formed in fists. It pounds them together and roars at Joey)

Joey: Neat frog!


(Joey sends out Rattata)


Joey: Rattata, use Hyper Beam!

(Rattata does not use Hyper Beam since it doesn’t know the move… it does however get kicked in the face by Low Kick. Rattata slams into a metal beam)

Joey: RATTATA! NO! …

(Joey runs to help his Rattata. He looks at the captain helplessly)

Joey: How is this happening? Rattata’s the best!

Captain: The BEST!?!? You’re mistaken. Your Pokemon, that RATTATA, is nothing but a heaping pile of worthless TRASH!

(The entire audience gasps. Joey looks like he just had his dreams crushed)

Captain: And YOU are an even BIGGER embarrassment for thinking so!

(Joey starts sniffling. He looks like he’s gonna cry)

Captain: Oh I’m sorry did I push one of your BUTTONS?!?!

(Alan steps forward to face the captain. Everyone gasps at this intervention)

Captain: And who are you!?

Alan: I want you to take back what you just said.

Captain: And WHO is gonna make me?

(Alan reaches into his bag. He won it from the gamblers. He pulls out a Dusk Stone. He throws it into the air. Murkrow leaps off of his shoulder to clutch it in his mouth)

(Murkrow immediately is enveloped in a shine of glistening darkness, lingering in air as its form shifts and grows. Everyone gasps at the sight of this. Murkrow has evolved into… HONCHKROW)

(*Evolution music* Murkrow’s transformation… dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun… Murkrow has evolved)

(Honchkrow doesn’t waste any time showing off its new form. It uses a POWERFUL Wing Attack that sends Poliwrath careening off the ship and into the water. Alan proceeds to have Honchkrow perch on top of his own head. He walks to the captain who now has a deeper appreciation for this stranger who stepped in)

Alan: … Take it back.

Captain: … (to Joey) R-Rattata… is… without a doubt the b-best Pokemon! Of all time!

(Joey is crying, but nods in compliance. He looks to Alan)

(Rattata walks over to Joey and nuzzles him. Joey grabs a hold of Rattata and hugs him… and as if the Rattata itself didn’t want Honchkrow to take all the spotlight, it too begins to glow)

Joey: R-Rattata? … What are you doi-

(*Evolution music* Rattata’s transformation… dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun… Rattata has evolved)

(Rattata evolves and turns into a RATICATE, a larger, thicker version of Rattata)

Joey: …

(The audience cheers and claps for Alan’s interference and Joey’s Rattata’s evolution. Ratticate rushes at the Captain. The Captain screams and leaps overboard after his Poliwrath)

Captain: AAAUGGHHH (splash)

(Joey is flabbergasted at his new … Ratticate… No longer a Rattata)

Joey: W-wait… It’s not… B-but… Rattata… (backs away from Raticate) You’re not…

?????: AHOY!!!

(Everyone looks over the side of the ship. Waiting on a small yacht is CHRIS and BUD. The rich patrons of this boat are so confused at the turnout of this day)

Chris: Come with us so that we can dictate the winner and send someone home! The challenge is over!

(Everyone one by one climbs down a ladder to the yacht)

Dootlehoot: … If the captain’s overboard then who’s steering the ship?

(The ship slowly starts to tilt. This isn't the first time the S.S. Anne has sunken, so nobody's freaking out all too much. There aren't that many people onboard, so everyone just casually starts putting on life vests as the Region Trotter's cast gets on the smaller yacht)




=== Yacht Ride === (Everyone sits tightly squeezed together. They all are covered in pie and shame. Axel, Amber, Zane, Malika, Bolin, Joey, Ryuma, Payton, Grace, Matteo, Alan, Ludwig and Natalie are here)

(Natalie and Bolin look childishly upset with each other, crossing their arms and sitting back to back)

(Ludwig is drenched in pie. He looks miserable. He thinks he’s the ugliest boy on the show, he had to endure PIE, he’s gonna get chewed out by his dad LT. SURGE, and worst of all… he lost his Pokemon)

Alan: Hey Ludwig.

(Ludwig looks up)

Alan: .. (holds out his hand. He has a Pokeball in it) I caught those gamblers on the way out…

(Ludwig looks to Alan’s hand. He gently takes the Pokeball. He immediately recognizes it as his own Pokeball. ... He has Beldum back)

Ludwig: … T-thank you.

Alan: Don’t mention it.

(Ludwig quietly hugs the Pokeball close to him. … At least one of those things isn’t a problem anymore)





(Everyone hears a sound. They look back at the S.S. Anne. It’s currently SINKING. Multiple rafts are afloat with everyone onboard. Nobody is on the ship)

Natalie: Oh my ARCEUS!!! What do we do!?

Chris: Don't worry, the S.S. Anne has a history of sinking again and again, it's practically a tradition.

(The butler backstrokes past the cast with a Snubbul wearing floaties on its arms)

Snubull: Snuh!

Butler: Hm. Quite.

(The cast stares at the sinking ship. They look at one another and just… don’t think about it)




(The three gamblers all sit in the same raft with their Sableye. All are unharmed. They’re rowing away from the other rafts and off elsewhere)

Gambler #1: Well… We did what we needed to do.

Gambler #2: Did we now?

Gambler #1: Yeah. ... Well no. No we didn't. Kinda. Let’s just wait to hear word from the boss on what our next assignment is.

(The three put on hats and new clothes, revealing that all along they were members of TEAM ROCKET)





=== Vermillion City, Pokemon Gym === (The gym has a smooth floor with electric pillars in six symmetrical places. They occasionally light up)

(The cast sits in the bleachers as Lt. Surge, Bud and Chris stand before them)

Chris: The winner of immunity today is… Wow, it was hard to decide, but it ultimately goes to the person who we pretty much knew would win this challenge off the bat… MATTEO. Who slept through an entire pie brawl and pool fight.

Matteo: … Cool.

Chris: … Anticlimactic. (to everyone) And now for safety! I'm gonna call your names that Bud STILL hasn't learned yet.

Bud: You're all just "Larry"s to me.

Chris: Safety goes to... Ryuma … Axel … Malika … Natalie … Bolin … Payton … Alan … Grace … Zane... That leaves three people. To name them, something Bud literally can't do, Amber … Joey …. Ludwig. You all seemed to have the worst time… and the challenge was to RELAX! Seriously? You can’t even do that?

(Ludwig looks away from his dad, Lt. Surge)

Surge: Joey. You’re a kid. You sparked a fight with an adult and cried. Champions don’t cry. Suck it up.

(Joey looks majorly taken down by Lt. Surge’s brutal honesty)

Surge: Amber. Romantic drama? Please. Champions have toenails to clip that are more important than that.

(Amber is dumbfounded)

Surge: And Ludwig…

(Ludwig braces himself. Trixie pats Ludwig on the back sympathetically)

Surge: Cut that out. (Trixie stops comforting Ludwig) He doesn’t need pampering. He needs to learn how to take a hit.

(Ludwig wipes his eyes to prevent any tears from coming. Today is not his day)

Chris: You know the drill. You three must defend yourselves to save yourselves.

(Chris turns to all of the current safe contestants)

Chris: And the rest of you can as well. Help your friends in the bottom three, or convince us that your enemies should go. Or both. Try and sway our decisions.


(Analysis Of Bottom Three - Episode 6)

---> Payton: Well, I’m safe. I can reveal my plan now. I purposely put Ludwig at the bottom of that list to stress him out, AND I forged signatures specifically to make Ryuma uncomfortable with Amber considering him the SECOND hottest guy by his own girlfriend. I know hoe competitive he gets. Anyway, Joey should stay because he’s a kid and deserves a second chance or whatever. Just give him a poffin so my plan can actually take somebody out today.

---> Ryuma: Amber was FINE! Why is she in the bottom three? (Ryuma shakes his head) I overreacted today to the list. I don’t care if she thinks I’m not the hottest, that’s fine! Matteo’s hotter, I’m man enough to admit it. Just… don’t send Amber home. She’s so much stronger than the other two.

---> Grace: Amber should go. She just irritates me. Joey’s a kid… … Though I don’t know how much longer we can keep excusing that. Ludwig DEFINITELY shouldn’t go, though. He’s been victim to a lot of unfortunate coincidences today, NONE of which are his fault.

---> Trixie: Ludwig had a rough day. The fact that he’s still standing is amazing. He’s strong, not weak. Amber, however, has landed in the bottom three THREE times in five elimination ceremonies.

---> Alan: … Ludwig willingly gave over his Pokemon, granted I was sweet talking him… (pause) … Joey’s not capable enough to keep up with the rest of us. I say he goes.

---> Zane: Ludwig just needs a hug. Joey would be okay with leaving. He has his Rattata, after all… I mean, Raticate.

---> Matteo: … Uh… … … … … Joey actually managed to fight Team Rocket yesterday…. I remember that.

---> Bolin: Ludwig needs to toughen up. Joey needs to leave. Amber needs to focus her energy into being what a champion can and should be. For my benefit, they should all keep doing what they’re doing. It’s disgraceful for types as strong as Fire and Steel to be in the bottom three.

---> Natalie: I’m sorry Joey… but … You’re too young. We’re just worried for your safety.

---> Axel: (smirks) Yeah, I think Amber should go. She’s so obsessed with Ryuma that she’ll drag him down with her… (pause) … I don’t actually feel that way. I just want Amber to stop making out with my bunkmate while I’m trying to sleep.

---> Malika: I like Amber. She’s actually a pretty spunky person once you get to know her. She’s just having a relationship bump, and that’s okay! (smirks) I want her to stick around to tell me all the details. Anyway, I feel AWFUL for Ludwig… I mean… Payton and I made a list and he somehow saw it… (pause) … Oh my gosh, Payton’s Sneasel gave it to him. (facepalms) Payton WAS using me today! Dang it! Can we send Payton home?

---> Joey: … (looking at Raticate) … You’re … not Rattata...

---> Amber: (grumbles) … Payton set me up. She knew I’d get stressed out by making Ryuma feel bad about not being the hottest guy in the cast. It’s such a DUMB petty reason to get upset! Ryuma, … (sighs, she calms down) … I DO think you’re… … Uh, Surge is right. I’m pretty pathetic right now.

---> Ludwig: … I hate pies.


(Input Submitted. Chris, Bud, and Surge approach the cast after reviewing them)

Chris: After reviewing the footages-

Surge: -I’m gonna cut to the chase. Amber’s safe. She’s stronger than these two combined, and that’s what matters first as a champion. Joey. Ludwig. One of you isn’t champion material. Weed each other out. (nods at the battlefield)

(Right to it. Ludwig and Joey stare at one another. Ludwig looks fearful)

---> Ludwig: Today might ACTUALLY be the worst day of my life.

Chris: Sheesh! I like your honesty. You heard him, Joey, Ludwig. Time to … BATTLE!!!




=== ELIMINATION BATTLE === (JOEY (Normal) vs LUDWIG (Steel) Begin!)

(Joey and Ludwig are on separate sides of the field. The pillars pulsate with electrical energy. Touching the pillars would result in a nasty electric shock)

(Joey puffs out his chest and moves first)


(Joey throws his Pokeball. Raticate comes out… which reminds Joey… he doesn’t have a Rattata anymore)

Joey: Oh…

Ludwig: BELDUM!

(Ludwig sends out Beldum. This small, telescope look-a-like, robot whirs in the air and blinks its claw circled eyeball at Raticate)

Ludwig: … Um… (Ludwig is clutching his journal in his pocket. He looks over and sees Lt. Surge shoot a glare of tangible disappointment) … Uh…

(Ludwig doesn’t even notice Joey striking first)


(Raticate magnificently soars into the air and knocks Beldum to the ground. Raticate pins it and sinks its teeth into its rocky side. Beldum’s eye widens all the way open and starts spazzing)

Ludwig: B-BELDUM!

(Lt. Surge scoffs. Trixie is seeing two sides of Surge. The polite stranger, and the demanding, disappointed father)

Ludwig: Use Take Down!

(Poor Ludwig. Take Down is the only move Beldam knows. The Beldam shakes off Raticate and moves rapidly towards it, slamming it into the sides of the gym. The Raticate shoves it off)

Ludwig: (looking around) How do I beat it? How? How? How?... …

(Ludwig notices the electrical pillars. If he can drive Raticate into them, he can-)

(Too late. Joey has already thought of that)

Joey: RATTATA!! Grab him and throw him into the electrical pillar!

Ludwig: NO!!!

(Rattata looks at Joey)

Joey: … R-Raticate…

(Raticate nods and complies. It grabs a hold of the weak Beldum and TOSSES IT at the pillar. Beldum collides hard with it, taking in a dangerous amount of wattage. The lights in the gym flicker on and off. Lt Surge is the only one not to flinch)

(Beldum slowly moves, floating about after it collides heavily onto the ground. Its body is coated in electrical energy, and has taken in much of the pillar’s power. It’s in pain)

Joey: Okay Raticate! Finish him off with BITE!!!

Ludwig: …

(Ludwig sits down. Ludwig doesn’t bother at this point. He’s given up)

Bolin: Ludwig’s sitting?

Payton: He gave up. (smirks) Nice.

Malika: Oh no! Come on Ludwig!

(Too late. Raticate takes a LARGE chomp, repeating the same process from before… but something happens when Raticate comes in contact with Beldum. All of Raticate hair stands on end and it proceeds to shake and sputter with a blinding light engulfing it)


(Raticate has been electrocuted head on)

Natalie: What happened?

Lt. Surge: Beldum’s a living magnet. It absorbed the pillar’s energy. Raticate essentially just bit a fork that’s been in an electric socket. (Lt. Surge doesn’t even say this as if he’s happy with the result. He still sounds disappointed)

(Raticate flies off the Beldum and hits the walls of the gym like a pinball. Raticate lands in the center, charred and dizzy. It collapses onto the ground)

(Raticate is unable to battle)

Chris: Joey. You’re gone-zo. Ludwig. Welcome back.

(Ludwig sat there and gave up... and he somehow STILL WON. Ludwig's eyes bug out of his head. He scrambles to his feet)

Ludwig: … (is floored) … W-what!? ...



(Joey immediately beelines for the Raticate. He hugs it, receiving a nasty shock immediately, but he keeps hugging anyway)

Joey: RATTATA! IT’s okay! You did so good! Even if you’re not a Rattata! I still think you are! (Joey buries his face into the back of the Raticate) You’re the best Rattata I could ever ask for…

(Raticate nuzzles Joey back ... Alan approaches Joey)

Alan: So… you got what you wanted, huh?

Joey: I wanted to quit ever since I caught the Rattata in the first place, so this was inevitable.

(Joey hoists the Raticate over his head)

Joey: Let’s go Rattata! Adventure awaits! … And a scolding from our big brother.

(Joey winces for a second. But Joey then charges out into the light leaving the gym with a bright smile on his face. He fades into the radiance)

(Farewell Joey)


(Trixie, Natalie, Malika and Zane rush over to Ludwig)

Natalie: Ludwig! You did it! You’re safe!

Ludwig: … I .. I didn’t deserve that victory…

Malika: What are you talking about?

Ludwig: (stands up) … I didn’t deserve to stay.

(Ludwig walks away, likely to go back to the trailer)

Trixie: … Oh, Ludwig…

Lt Surge: (walks behind them) He’s right… Everything he did today was an utter disappointment… He’s a doormat. He’s weak. And now he has the confidence to match it all. He’d better hope he’s out of the game before my TRUE challenge. This game was a bad idea. He needs to come home.

(Axel appears, leaning on Surge’s leg, nodding)

Axel: I agree. Send the mad scientist home. No Steel Types here.

(Lt. Surge moves his leg. Axel flops against the ground. Zane picks him up and carries him away like a baby)

(Trixie distracts Surge by accosting him and berating him)

Trixie: Just give him time! He’ll get stronger! You’re his parent, but you’re acting like a bully right now! Really man, chill!

Lt. Surge: (folds his arms. Malika, Zane and Natalie hide behind Trixie) And where do you come off telling me I’m not a good parent after I so kindly let you stay at my house for the day?

Trixie: Listen to yourself. Listen to LUDWIG. So he’s not a walking tank, or an adonis or whatever. He’s gonna be strong in his own thing. So it just happens to not be the way you see it.

Lt. Surge: I’ll recognize any form of strength… and he has none.

Trixie: I bet by the time we get to your challenge, he’ll be able to beat YOU in battle.

(Natalie and Malika gasp)

Malika: Girl! That’s a little-

Lt. Surge: -I’ll keep you to that. See you around, candy cane.

(Lt. Surge turns and waves his hand. The lights of the gym turn off. The only source of light is the exit. The three teens scramble for it)

---> Trixie: Okay… Maybe not what I should have said.




=== Outside Trailers === (Bolin is walking by the girl’s trailer. He’s off to do some late night training with his Pokemon. Natalie pokes her head out the window)

Natalie: Hey, Bolin.

Bolin: (leers) What?

Natalie: Where are you going?

Bolin: Late night training. Alan’s bird outshined me today. Can’t let that happen again. (Zubat pokes out of Bolin’s backpack. It screeches cheerfully)

Natalie: Awww. You’re taking Zubat.

Bolin: Well he’s not gonna outgrow his frail, pitiful shell on his own.

Natalie: … (smiles) Today was fun. Can you at least admit that? C'mon, you can't be THAT stoic. You had fun too.

(Bolin blushes, and his pale face turns red. It’s hard to see in the dark, so he’s safe from being seen)

Bolin: …  Bugs are stealthy. They make good pranksters. I’ll give you that. ... But it's not giving much since pranksters never win.

Natalie: (feigns being flattered) Oh Bolin. (she giggles) Listen, I’m sorry about my impersonation of you earlier today. I don’t think you’re a-

Bolin: -I was mad because it was accurate. (Bolin crosses his arms) ... (shrugs) It was.

Natalie: (tapping the windowsill) I'm trying to have a nice moment with you right now.

Bolin: ... This was nice.

(Bolin turns and leaves. Awkward as it gets. Natalie smirks and closes her window)

---> Bolin: I said it before and I’ll say it again… Natalie’s a strong trainer. I just don’t get why she wastes time with weaker Pokemon.

---> Natalie: Bolin’s a strong trainer. I just don’t get why he doesn’t devote some of that to Pokemon that need it.


=== Vermillion City, Evening === (Axel is spray painting the same wall he was spraying at the start. Remnants of his last piece are this there. Zane approaches him from behind)

Zane: Hey buddy, whatcha up to?

Axel: Expressionistic imagery. Same old tom foolery.

Zane: Ah! So what’s up with you and Ludwig?

Axel: Nothing’s up…

Zane: You’re hating on him pretty badly. Did he do something to you? (gasps) … Is HE the one clogging the toilets every morning!?

Axel: I’m pretty sure that’s you.

Zane: Oh. Yeah.

Axel: But yeah… and no. I just don’t like scientists.

Zane: Why not?

Axel: … That’s a story for another time.

(Zane leans against the wall near Axel. He just watches Axel spray paint for a bit)

Zane: Hope I’m around for it.

(Axel looks at Zane, who’s just idly watching him spray paint the walls, not yelling at him, not getting mad at him for spray painting, just watching intently and with interest)

Axel: … … Does this not bother you?

Zane: (shrugs) Your work is really good, Axel.

Axel: … (smiles) … T-Thanks...

(Axel keeps working. Zane watches. Axel does his best to focus more and put on a good show with his art. He has an audience right now)


=== Route 3, Kanto === (North of Vermillion City, a route layered with ponds and grass. Bounsweet and Shroomish sit here. Both sit at the edge of the pond. Malika is in the background chatting with some Bug Catchers)

Malika: So like… HOW many mouths does a Pineco have again!?

Bug Catcher: Fifteen!

Malika: WOWZA!


(The camera focuses on Bounsweet and Shroomish. The dumb subtitles start up again)

Bounsweet: … Bounsweet Bounsweet Bounsweet. (“My love, Raymond. We spent such longing hours together… I only wish you’d hold me and love closer”)

Shroomish: Shroo shroo. (“I don’t have arms and I don’t like you”)

Bounsweet: Bounsweet Bounsweet Bounsweet. (“You were my first love… Your rejection stings harder than a Beedrill in Mega Form”)

Shroomish: mish shroo shoo. (“Good. Go away”)

(Bounsweet sniffles. Suddenly, a SHELLDER lurches out of the water and grasps onto Shroomish. Shroomish shrieks. Bounsweet screams… but giggles because it can’t physically scream)

Shroomish: SHOO (“You’re LAUGHING!?”)


(Bounsweet uses Magical Leaf, sending a swarm of leaves into the water and propelling Shellder OFF of Shroomish. Shellder is relentless and leaps at Bounsweet next. Bounsweet performs RAPID SPIN and knocks the clam-creature back into the water)

Shroomish: ….

(Bounsweet keeps spinning. As she spins, she glows. Bounsweet grows and becomes a new Pokemon)

(*Evolution music* Bounsweet’s transformation… dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun… Bounsweet has evolved)

(Bounsweet has evolved into Steenee. A larger pokemon with a light green calyx on its head and large leaves as pigtails, and a poofy bloom-esque skirt with tiny legs. Shroomish looks on in admiration)

Shroomish: … Shoo… (“You’re… you’re”)

(Bounsweet looks into the water and appreciates and admires herself and her newfound beauty. She then turns to Shroomish)

Steenee: Steenee. Steenee. Steenee. (“You could have had this… but your heart was too shallow and unkind. Farewell, Shroomish. I pity you.”)

(Shroomish begins to sob. Steenee hobbles over to Malika, who SCREAMS at how cute she is. Malika picks up Steenee and parades her in circles while the Bug Catchers join her)


=== Vermillion Harbor === (It’s nighttime. The harbor is quiet save for a few night workers and fishermen. Ludwig is sitting down, covering his face)

(Trixie approaches and sits next to him. She puts a hand on his back)

Ludwig: ….

Trixie: …

Ludwig: …

Trixie: … I’m pregnant.

Ludwig: WHAT!?!?! HOW!?!?! WHO!?!? REALLY!?!?

Trixie: Kidding. I just wanted to relieve the tension a bit.

Ludwig: Oh… (laughs)

(Trixie keeps patting him on the back. He’s feeling better already. A few moments pass by)

Zane: (pops out of a trash can) YOU’RE PREGNANT!? (pulls out the list) I have a few ideas as to who the daddy is-

Trixie: -Zane. I’m not pregnant.

Zane: Okay! (slowly goes back in the trash)

(Ludwig and Trixie just look at each other in confusion)


=== Vermillion City, Gym Exterior === (Amber and Ryuma are leaning against the side of the gym. Neither looking or talking at one another. Ryuma is leaning back against the wall. Amber is leaning on her shoulder, facing away from Ryuma)

Ryuma: … (reaches over and touches Amber’s arm) Hey… Amber. You-

(Amber gently pulls away)

Ryuma: …

Amber: …

Ryuma: … We moved too fast, didn’t we? (Ryuma scratches his own hair) I always go too fast. I’m sorry.

Amber: No. (turns to Ryuma) It’s not you…

Ryuma: I mean… just a few days ago we hated each other.

Amber: … I mean, sure we moved too fast but that doesn’t mean I should be… You know-

Ryuma: -I just got paranoid, that’s all. You just don’t seem to be… enjoying us. Me. I’m getting the vibe I'm not providing any kind of satisfaction, ya know? You just seem unhappy and that shouldn't be your fault. It's mine.

Amber: I don’t wanna have this discussion.

(Amber walks away. Ryuma looks at her in worry. That’s the calmest Amber’s been in a situation where emotion, yes even rage, is called for and justified)

Ryuma: … (sighs) …

(Zane pops out of another garbage can)

Zane: Are you two making out!?

Ryuma: Having some boyfriend and girlfriend troubles, dude.

Zane: … Wanna talk about it?

Ryuma: Kinda hard to take you seriously when you’re in a garbage can.

Zane: (nods) Later than. Good luck, bud.

(Zane enters the garbage can and closes the lid. Ryuma just looks confused... )

---> Amber: (looks like she’s been thinking for a while) … … … … … … … Yup. … … … … I think I might be gay.




Zane Lute - Ghost type#092 Gastly#302 Sableye
Alan Collins - Dark type#430 Honchkrow 
Malika Carter - Grass type#761 Bounsweet#285 Shroomish
Amber McLeod - Fire type:vulpix:
Trixie Masterson - Psychic type#677 Espurr#064 Kadabra 
Payton Rothman - Ice type#215 Sneasel 
Grace Cirillo - Electric type#081 Magnemite
Axel Kens - Poison type#023 Ekans#033 Nidorino 
Bolin Temirov - Flying type#397 Staravia#041 Zubat 
Ludwig Von Malmar - Steel type#374 Beldum 
Ryuma Scifo - Dragon typeSophie Sprite
Natalie Harlow - Bug typeButterfree #347 Anorith 
Matteo Rossi - 
Ground type #027 Sandshrew#095 Onix 

Chapter Text




♪♫ ANGIE’S AFTERMATH! You know it’s truuue! It’s time to learn about meeee and yoooou! We’ll sit down, drink some tea and have some fun! We’ll chat for hours til the day is done! ♪♫

(Angie is in a kictehn, ironing, dressed like a housewife. She looks at the floor where there are mudprints on the ground. She rolls her eyes and smiles at the camera)


♪♫ OH! Angie’s Aftermath is such a thrill! The action’s packed so that you can’t sit still! It’s a fun time that you won’t forget! I have not paid off my taxes yet!! ♪♫

(Angie walks through the front door wearing a button up shirt, a hat and long khakis and a mustache, also carrying a suitcase. She puts her coat on a coat hanger and smiles at the camera)


♪♫ Angie’s Aftermath! Oh, what a blast! I broke my arm last week and have a cast! It itches really bad I swear to god. I’ll use a tree branch as a scratching rod! ♪♫

(Angie is sitting on a pink bed with a ponytail, shorts and a crop top. She’s lying on her stomach as she yaps on a pink rotary phone. She looks at the camera and smiles)


♪♫ Angie’s Aftermath! It won’t be long! Forgot to bring the lyrics to the song! I’ll just keep singing to this nifty bop, and just keep going till they make me-♪♫

(Audio of the singer being tackled and equipment falling over as the upbeat tune still plays)





=== The Sevii Islands === (The Sevii Islands are a group of islands that each encompass their own lore and lush distinctive habitats)

(On one of the islands, on a beach, a talk show is set up. A girl in a tailored suit with a Makuhita in a bow tie wave at the camera)

(A table with a tea set, two large red, leather chairs, and the ocean in the background make up this set)

Angie: Annnnnnnd we’re back! Sorry for the week hiatus! I had to delay the show for VERY important matters… Such as waiting for a pre-ordered tuxedo for my Makuhita!

(Makuhita waddles out in a small tuxedo. It wobbles and waves its fists happily)

Angie: See, the package came in on time but teaching him how to tie his own tie is what took an entire week. I haven’t eaten since Monday!

(Makuhita nods)

Angie: Anyway, it’s time to interview TWO people! We’ll bring in the first loser now! Or as I like to call them … … … I dunno. I’m looking for a substitue for “loser”. Anyone got anything?

(Makuhita dabs)


(Angie explains)



Angie: Fairy Type! Molly is a mom at heart… probably because she’s actually a mom. Molly cared for and looked out for every contestant on the field, and didn’t stop until she satisfied everyone’s needs! Good person. Very good.

(A picture of Molly comes up)

Angie: That’s right, MOLLY!



(Molly walks in from elsewhere. She sits down at the tea table)

Molly: I overheard you saying you didn’t eat at all?

Angie: That is TRUE! (pause) … … … Self care is for wusses… and people with healthy outlooks on their lives.

(Molly presents a batch of cookies out of seemingly nowhere)

Angie: I don’t know HOW you do that, but it’s mad impressive. (Angie takes a cookie)

Molly: So what do you plan to interview me about?

Angie: Let’s start with your adorable Cubone! You picked it up from Rock Tunnel? What’s next for the lil guy?

Molly: He’s already been delivered to my Har-Bear!

Angie: You fed it to an Ursarang? That’s savage.

Molly: Oh no, dear. I gave it to my son.

Angie: OH! “Har-Bear”’s a nickname. I thought it was some kind of strange new evolution for Stufful or something.

Molly: (giggles) I’d LOVE a Stufful. Such cuties. But I knew my Har Bear would adore Cubone more. He’s a brilliant young man with a knack for science. He made his own science fair project, which was a machine that could undo wedgies on command. He was prone to wedgies a lot as a child. Laundry was always a hassle.

(Angie is blushing in second-hand embarrassment for Molly’s “Har-Bear” right now)

Angie: You sure you should be spilling these beans on live T.V.?

Molly: I doubt Har-Bear is watching right now. He’s usually on the internet right about now, role playing with his “anime” friends.

(Angie covers her face. This is so embarrassing for Molly’s child)

Molly: One time, none of his friends showed up to an online chat he made, so I made a fake account and went there to support him!

(Angie is cringing)

Molly: Another time, he-

Angie: AAAAAAAAND moving onto the dessert course, it’s time to bring in our next guest!

Molly: (smiling) Oh! Joey!



Angie: Normal Type! Joey wanted one thing and one thing only when he came to Kanto. He wanted a RATTATA! He got it, but it evolved into a Ratticate, and he dealt with it the best way he knew how to… by still calling it a Rattata. Welcome JOEY!

(Joey isn’t there)

Angie: .. .. … Oh. I see. He’s gonna SNEAK ATTACK AGAIN!

(Angie leaps out of her seat and flops into the sand)

Angie: HI-YA!!! MAKUHITA GO!!!

(Makuhita runs in circle and collides into the table, knocking it over completely)

Molly: (pulls out a first aid kit and gets to work on the Makuhita) Come here, sweety.

(Joey walks from offscreen)

Joey: … I was at the bathroom.

Angie: (stands up) What!? But there’s bathroom in sight.

(Joey points at the ocean. Multiple Tentacools are shaking their fists at him)

Angie: Ayyyyyy.

(Joey sits down with Molly)

Angie: SO! Tell me a bit about the game, Joey. How’s Rattata?

Joey: I named Ratticate “Rattata” … Cuz he’ll ALWAYS be Rattata to me. It’s the same Rattata. (Joey has Ratticate in his arms now. It’s snoozing) She’s everything I wanted and more! Rattatas are the best.

Molly: (nods) I absolutely agree.

Angie: So let’s get on to the juicy stuff… what about TEAM ROCKET?

(Molly and Joey look uncomfortable)

Molly: I’m… a little nervous to say so myself.

Joey: They’re… weird.

Angie: Joey, you succesfully attacked one and got away scott free. How does that make you feel?

Joey: (fist pumps) BRAGGING RIGHTS!!!

Molly: Usually I don’t condone bragging, but Joey, you’ve earned it.

Joey: 01 is gonna be SO proud! I bet he would have helped me fight them if they stuck around!

Angie: So … what do you think Team Rocket wanted with us?

Molly: Publicity. By appearing on our show, they can get the word out that they’re coming back.

Angie: Wow… That’s observant of you, Molly.

Molly: (winks) But if they keep slipping up the way they did, they won’t be sending a very positive message in their organization’s name.

Joey: Isn’t the point to be not positive?

Molly: I just mean that nobody will take them seriously. (smiles and rustles Joey’s cap)

Angie: HA! You’re probably right. Rocket appearing was just a fluke. Hopefully they won’t appear again. Learned their lesson, right?

Joey: WOO! Morals!

Molly: Thank you so much for this interview.

Angie: No problem! See you all next time on- MAKUHITA NO!!!

(The camera pans to Makuhita ripping his tuxedo to shreds. Angie leaps at him before the camera turns off)



Angie played by ANGIE
Molly played by MOLLY
Joey played by JOEY
Host played by ANGIE
MC played by ANGIE
Dapper Chick played by ANGIE
Hot Beast played by ANGIE
Queen Of The Got Dang World played by ANGIE-

(Angie is tackled as she continues to make faulty credits)




(End Of Segment)

Chapter Text

POKE DRAMA: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 7

Zane Lute - Ghost type#092 Gastly#302 Sableye
Alan Collins - Dark type#430 Honchkrow 
Malika Carter - Grass type#285 Shroomish
Amber McLeod - Fire type:vulpix:
Trixie Masterson - Psychic type#677 Espurr#064 Kadabra 
Payton Rothman - Ice type#215 Sneasel 
Grace Cirillo - Electric type#081 Magnemite
Axel Kens - Poison type#023 Ekans#033 Nidorino 
Bolin Temirov - Flying type#397 Staravia#041 Zubat 
Ludwig Von Malmar - Steel type#374 Beldum 
Ryuma Scifo - Dragon typeSophie Sprite
Natalie Harlow - Bug typeButterfree #347 Anorith 
Matteo Rossi - 
Ground type #027 Sandshrew#095 Onix 

13 Contestants Left...


=== Lavender Town === (A sleepy town with a large cylinder citadel built to honor the Pokemon who have passed on before us. There’s a cemetery outside of it and a funeral home. This place has a very distinct feel to it… a creepy, morbid one)

(Pokemon Tower. It looms next to Lavender’s own Radio Tower. The trailers are parked outside of the cemetery)


=== Lavender Cemetery === (The cast is scattered about, lighting candles for their loved ones who have passed on. Most of them seclude themselves as to not be prodded with questions by any of the other trainers)

(Malika has lit two candles. She puts them down and thinks quietly to herself. ... Zane sits next to her)

Zane: I’m here for emotional support if you need it. Hugs?

(Malika hugs Zane. She needed it)


(Grace is just hugging her Magnemite VERY closely. Magmemite is confused, as indicated by the question mark flashing on its screen-like eye)

Zane: (walks over) I’m here for emotional support. Hugs?

(Grace nods and hugs Zane, pulling him into the hug. Two question marks appear on Magnemite's eye)

---> Grace: I haven’t actually… per say, lost anyone tragically… but I’ve had a lot of close calls with Magnemite here. Can't tell you how many time's he's exploded. (Magnemite has an exclamation point as well as a question mark on its eye now)

(Chris approaches Grace from behind. He taps her on the shoulder)

Chris: Say, Grace. Bud is struggling with fixing the truck engine again. Can you get on that?

Grace: (Grace perks up) Me?

Chris: (bored) No need to act humble. We all know you want to, and it's free labor.

(Bud rushes over to Grace and Chris. Bud is covered in oil and burn marks)

Bud: NO!! I don’t want her help!

Grace: Bud. Please. These are burial grounds, have some respect.

Chris: Bud, the truck has been breaking down every week. Either hire a mechanic or make the literal mechanic in the cast do it for free.

Bud: Hire a mechanic.

Chris: I’m cheap and proud of it. (Chris turns to Grace) Let’s go.

(Grace walks off with Chris to go fix the engine. She snickers at Bud as they go. The bulky man is pissed off, not happy that Grace is doing his own job for him)

---> Bud: I’m onto her. She’s the one breaking the engine in the first place, I KNOW it.

---> Grace: (shrugs) Gotta kill boredom somehow.


(Trixie walks over to Ludwig. Ludwig is sitting on a bench. He doesn’t look like he’s mourning)

Trixie: You doing okay?

Ludwig: Hm? (looks at Trixie) … Yeah. I’m feeling a lot better since the last challenge. Seeing all of this … (gestures to the cemetery) Reminds me of what REALLY should make me sad. Not some… dumb list, or pies, or… … (sniffles) Detrimental judgement from a father who’s never reciprocated love…

Trixie: You’re still upset about the last challenge.

Ludwig: Oh yeah. ...

(Ludwig gets up and walks away. Trixie sighs from her lone bench. Axel decides to randomly approach her)

Axel: … He's a faker.

(Trixie glares at Axel)

Axel: What? (lazily tears Ludwig apart) He figures he can’t play this game HIS way so he tries to act overly emotional to win people's trust with sympathy. I’m telling you, scientists are crazy.

Trixie: You don’t know what you’re talking about, Axel. He’s had it really rough.

Axel: Mhmm. And nobody else has. Noted.

(Trixie doesn't respond as Axel goes elsewhere. She doesn't want to deal with Axel's scientist paranoia right now)

---> Trixie: I can’t figure Axel out. He’s always looking for a fight, and it’s really annoying… Poor Ludwig. I hope Axel doesn’t try and take advantage of his depressive state. (Trixie's eyes widen) Oh my Arceus he totally will. I need to stick by Ludwig today just in case.


(Ludwig is stopped by Zane)

Zane: I’m here for emotional support. Hugs? Back pats? Shoulder to cry on? Full kiss on the lips? I provide the whole package. You name it, I'll provide it.

Ludwig: Thanks Zane… but I just need space.

Zane: You got it! You’re gonna have the most emotionally supportive space you’ve ever had! You're gonna be inside of a mobile BUBBLE of comfort and self preservation. All you, dude. You're gonna feel like you have SO much space to yourself that-

(Ludwig walks off, but Zane keeps following him, talking on and on)


(An unnatural sight is seen in the far corner of the cemetery)

(Payton is crying. Of all people... PAYTON. Payton is showing enough emotion to cry, let alone show any emotion at all beyond frustration and an eye roll)

(She’s silently weeping. She wipes her eyes and blows her nose. She scribbles on a piece of paper and leaves it. She hurries away, covering her face as she goes)

(Three seconds after, Amber and Ryuma rush to the paper)

Amber: Okay, I gotta see what melted the crab-flavored creamsicle.

Ryuma: Ew. 

Amber: She's crabby and she's Ice Type.

Ryuma: Work on the name-calling.

(Ryuma reads the paper aloud)

Ryuma: “Here lie the f***s I never gave. May they one day know the bittersweet experience of existence” … What?

---> Payton: (filing her nails. She’s totally fine) I don't have any deceased loved ones. I have a mom that I wouldn't mind seeing fall into a coma, but that's about it.


(Natalie approaches Malika. She sits down with her. Malika looks torn apart, sitting in front of a lit candle on the ground)

Natalie: Hey Malika… how’re you doing?

(Malika just silently stands up and walks away)

Natalie: M-Malika?

---> Natalie: I’ve never seen her like this… Granted, we haven't known each other for TOO long, but still. I’m worried about her.

(Bolin approaches Natalie from behind. Natalie turns, recognizing someone is behind her)

Natalie: Can I help you?

Bolin: … I was just gonna ask if she was ok.

Natalie: … Oh. (pause) … She’s… managing. (Natalie looks directly at Bolin, standing in front of him) I didn’t know you cared.

Bolin: (shrugs) I’m not heartless.

Natalie: (smirking) You could of fooled me, you know. Sometimes I wonder if you're a robot.

Bolin: (raises his shoulders) An attractiveness list issued by every girl in the game called me the ugliest, so to an extent, you're right, I don't care.

Natalie: (deadpan) Oh, the list.

---> Natalie: A list got out to the whole cast ranking all of the boy's by attractiveness. Thing is, none of us girls worked on it and it's signed by all of us. The signatures are WEIRDLY accurate, so I can't tell if it's forged or if I just can't remember making the list. Who knows; maybe we all just had one of those nights at some point.

Natalie: Are you mad about that?

Bolin: (crosses his arms) I plan on making a fool out of you in ways you can’t possibly retaliate. (Bolin holds up his Pokeball. The one containing his Zubat) I’m gonna win the deal, and you’re gonna eat your words.

Natalie: (raises her eyebrows) Oh it's like that, is it? (Natalie smirks) So tell me, Bolin. How can you win this deal?

Bolin: … Huh?

Natalie: I have no problem with you winning. In fact, it’s a win/win situation for me. (Natalie gets up and walks away)

(Bolin stares as Natalie walks away. His jaw drops)

---> Bolin: (holding up a Pokeball) So that’s her plan. If I manage to win the game because of Zubat, then she gets bragging rights over me regardless of my victory. If I lose, and it’s Zubat’s fault, then I’m gone at her hands. … (Bolin chuckles) … I don’t understand why she wastes time with Bugs. Natalie’s so capable. ... (Bolin frowns) Too bad about that list, though.


=== Outside Lavender Cemetery === (Amber walks outside of the cemetery and leans on the brick wall outskirting the place. She sighs in an aggravated manner, even tipping her hat over her eyes)

(Ryuma walks out to her. He tilts his head and smiles. Ryuma sidles up to her. ... A moment passes and he kisses her on the cheek. Ryuma steps back when Amber visibly winces when he kisses her)

Ryuma: Hey, babe…

(Amber shudders)

Ryuma: … S-sorry… Too soon for pet names.

Amber: (grumbles) It’s fine.

Ryuma: (Ryuma facepalms) No. It’s not. I’m taking this too fast. I’ll try and slow down. I just always wanna-

Amber: -I know. You’re a fast pacer. Nothin to be shamed of. (works a smile at him) You’re fine.

Ryuma: Are you? … You’ve been distant lately. And not the edgy kind of distant, this is the “starting to make me worry” kind of distant. ... (smiles) I slipped you a note through the window last night, did you get it?

Amber: … Yeah… Payton was picking on me this mornin over it.

Ryuma: It wasn’t THAT cheesy. (smiles)

Amber: It was sweet…

(Amber leans on Ryuma’s shoulder. Ryuma lets her. He leans his head as if to kiss her again… but holds back, not wanting to take this too fast)

---> Amber: (nodding) So I’m GAY… And I haven’t come out to my… boyfriend yet… (Amber shakes her head) … Ahhhh.... Um.... Yeah.




(Eventually everyone is summoned for the challenge)

=== Lavender Tower === (A large spire filled with graves and staircases. The cast gathers in the antechamber. Originally named Pokemon Tower)

(It’s a large circular room with a large door as an exit, stone floors, and no windows. It’s dark, save for the candles on the wall)

Chris: This is Pokemon Tower. To better explain the sensitive subject of this tower’s existence, I hired the local guide here to tell it for me since I have no concept of human empathy.

(An old woman walks out of the shadows. She greets the cast. She has white hair and a long purple robe)

Mizz Specter: Hello everyone. I’m Mizz Specter. Original Character. Do not steal me. I’m here to tell you all about the Pokemon Tower, the location of your challenge.

(She gestures all around her)

Mizz Specter: This building is the resting place to many pokemon. It was originally just a pet cemetery passed down for generations onto me and my excessive amount of Meowth.

(She gestures up)

Mizz Specter: At the top of the tower is our most prized possession. It’s a secret, but it’s up there. Though going there will be .... tough for anyone. The path is riddled with haunts and spooks.

Ryuma: So we just need to NOT be scared and we’ll find the “prized possession”. Sounds easy enough.

Mizz Specter: Heavens NO! None of you are going up there! That’s foolish! Unless you want the scare of a lifetime that is. Your challenge is merely to stay here overnight.

Chris: YUP! You’re all camping out on the first floor.

Mizz Specter: Anyone who manages to stay the whole night… WINS!

Amber: Wait! You mean, like… ANYONE who stays? So more than one person can win?

Mizz Specter: Yes! Leader immunity to ANYONE that stays the whole night. Challenge ends at sunrise.

(Everyone cheers. This’ll be easy)

---> Alan: (shakes his head) There’s no way this is as easy as it sounds. Luckily, I’m not scared of the dark. (tips his hat)

---> Payton: (rolls her eyes) Oh boo. I’ll just tell a scary story and everyone will leave. Once upon a time there was a murderer... but he was a white kid born into a priveliged upper class family in a capitalist society, so you know he got away with everything.

---> Grace: I have Ludwig and Trixie backing me up. Though Ludwig seemed pretty taken down yesterday… I’ll have to talk to him. THOUGH… when you’re sad, it’s easier to not be scared, so maybe I’ll just let him mope through this challenge! … (pause) … yeah, no.

Matteo: So… it’s a sleepover?

Chris: Yeah, but not for you, Matteo. You get to rest in the trailers. You have leader immunity from yesterday.

Matteo: Naw. If the challenge is just to camp out, I’ll do it. Sounds like fun, man.

Chris: … I mean… n-nobody’s stopping you from participating… but like… you don’t HAVE to.

Matteo: (shrugs)

Chris: … You’d THINK the lazy guy would tap out when the option arises. (shrugs) Oh well. You all have sleeping bags and pillows. Flashlights for all of you, and with that… ENJOY!

(Chris and Mizz Specter leave and slam the door)


(The Night Begins)

(Everyone is setting up their sleeping bags, getting ready for the night. Suddenly, Ludwig and Trixie are grabbed and move behind a large tombstone. Grace has them privately)

Grace: Okay, we’re an alliance, but we haven’t done anything for one another yet, so this is where it starts. The three of us stick together and prioritize each other over anybody else today, got it? If one of us gets the urge to leave, we talk sense into each other.

Trixie: (nods) Got it. (turns to Ludwig) Isn’t that nice, Ludwig?

Ludwig: … (sighs) …

Grace: Last episode, all we had to do was relax. What HAPPENED, Ludwig?

Ludwig: … I almost lost my Pokemon to a gambler… I got pied in the face… Someone made a list of all the hottest guys on the show and I was on the bottom… I-

Grace: -Bolin should be on the bottom, what the heck?

Trixie: I kind of agree. Who made the list?

Grace: You haven't heard, Trixie? Someone forged ALL our names on the list. Someone wanted to make it seem like every girl agreed on the rankings.

Trixie: What?

Grace: I have my suspicions. I saw Ryuma and Amber arguing over it, and Amber had it and was getting really defensive. It was definitely her. (to Ludwig) I bet that bulldozer ranked you at the bottom to hurt you on purpose. If anyone’s gonna take her DOWN, it’s this alliance. Amber’s public enemy number one.

Trixie: (nods) We’ll watch out for Amber. Alliance dismissed.

---> Grace: Amber’s the prime suspect for Ross’ map incident… AND played a hand in making that attractiveness list. Amber, no doubt, is covered in red. I’ve got my eyes on her.

(Grace, Ludwig and Trixie walk back to the others)




(A Night At The Tower… Begin)

(Everyone is gathered in a circle. There’s a lone candle in the middle of the room. They’re all lying down in their pajamas)

Alan: So… the night begins.

Ryuma: What do you all think the treasure is upstairs?

Alan: I wouldn’t bother looking for it.

Axel: You can’t “look” at all.

Zane: (thumbs down) Booooooooo.

Alan: (turns his head to Axel) … … … (nods) I walked into that one. That’s fair.

Ryuma: So why shouldn’t we go look for it?

Payton: Is Alan the only one with brains here? Duh. It’s a trap. They probably have Ghost Type trained and ready to spook us as soon as we step foot up there.

Axel: Pokemon Tower has seven floors, so the higher you go, the worse it’ll probably get.

Natalie: So they expect us to get picked off by telling us there’s a treasure on the top floor so that we’ll be compelled to look for it only to get spooked by their traps? … Clever.

Amber: Clearly not clever enough since we saw through their plan. If we all just stay here we ALL get immunity.

Ryuma: I kind of want to see what happens if we ALL win.

Bolin: We can send Chris home.

(Everyone laughs, enjoying the idea of eliminating Chris himself)

Bolin: But in all seriousness… Before the night is over… I’m gonna get that treasure.

Amber: Did you not hear a word we said? It’s a trap. The treasure is probably a gift card… or a pair of nailclippers…

Bolin: I’m not gonna get the treasure for the sake of the treasure itself… I just want to prove that I can.

Natalie: (giggles and pats Bolin’s leg) I know we’re always at each other’s throats, but strong Pokemon or not, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.

Bolin: I’m not gonna do it for all of you. I’m doing it because I can.

Grace: Honestly, I would too if sitting down for too long started to drive me mad. What are we supposed to do all night? Just sleep? It’s too cold in here.

Amber: Perfect for Payton.

Payton: (flips her hair) Sucks to succeed.

Ryuma: You think the last challenge was a precursor to today?

Amber: What’ya mean?

Ryuma: I mean… in the last challenge we napped all day. That was the challenge. To relax. Are ANY of you sleepy right now?

(Everyone shakes their heads)

Ryuma: Exactly! We’re not tuckered out because none of us did anything in the last challenge. The “relaxation” challenge was so that we wouldn’t be tired today.

Natalie: (wide eyed) Good observation, Ryuma! I knew that challenge felt out of place.

Matteo: Woah…

Payton: See? Chris is banking on us all sitting here, unable to sleep, and getting bored to the point of going upstairs. As long as nobody goes upstairs, we should all be fine.


(They all look up. A sound came from upstairs. Most people jumped. Many clung to friends and partners. They all got startled)

Alan: … Nobody goes anywhere.

Grace: (nods) Alan’s right. They’re probably just trying to make us curious.

Payton: You know, if we’re all gonna be this savvy, this is gonna be one boring challenge.

Grace: (leans forward) Well I know how to make it a little more… interesting…

Payton: (blushing) Oh?

Grace: So ... the list.

(Payton’s expression drops. She doesn’t wanna get chewed out by this in case Grace knows about WHO made it)

Payton: What about it?

Grace: We all know the one. The hotness list.

(Matteo and Ryuma smile widely. Zane nods profusely and smiles. Axel is unamused. Bolin and Ludwig appear upset)

Grace: I think we should forget about that list. Anyone that saw it. (Ludwig looks up at Grace) And since we’re all sitting here… let’s make something NEW for everyone to talk about.

(Literally everyone blushes at what Grace says. She's not even trying to come off as seductive)

Grace: Let’s go around the circle and have EVERYONE say who they personally think the hottest person in the cast is.


Ryuma: Well, that’ll be easy for some of us. (nudges Amber and laughs. Amber nervously chuckles)

Bolin: (deadpan) Oh boy.

Grace: I’ll start. The hottest person in this cast, in my opinion is without a doubt Amber.

(Amber looks to Grace, wide eyed in surprise)

Amber: R-really? …

Grace: Yeah… Too bad you’re a volcanic nutcase. Likeability and hotness are two different things. Who’s next?

(A few people look a little shocked with Grace’s cutting statement. Sure, Amber’s a bit loud, but not on the level Grace criticized)

---> Grace: I have a thing with grudges. I tried to stop once by pinching myself whenever I got a grudge… but then I got a grudge against myself for the pinching. I had to wait that out a few weeks.

---> Amber: I hate her guts… But DANG is it tempting to admit to everyone that I think she’s the hottest... (Amber gasps and scrunches her face) Awwwww shoot! I gotta come out in private to my boyfriend first before I publicly call girls hot! That's how it works, right?

Alan: (Alan's turn. deadpan) There's an abundance of reasons I can't pick anybody here.

Grace: Okay, skipping Alan. 

Natalie: (Natalie's turn) … I’d have to say… (nods) Ryuma. Amber, you’re lucky.

(Ryuma feigns a blush. Amber pats him on the face with a sheepish smile)

Amber: Haha… yeah.

Malika: (Malika's turn) … Um… Matteo. I pick Matteo.

Matteo: Nice. (offers Malika a high five. She takes it. Matteo's turn) Umm… hah … Umm.. I’d probably, like… I have to say Payton.

Payton: Haha. Very funny. I didn't know you had a sense of humor. Come on, who is it?

Matteo: You.

Payton: ... (leans her head back) O-oh... Oh you're serious? 

Amber: Huh?

Ludwig: Oooh.

(Payton looks oddly at Matteo. She just squints her eyes in suspicion. She's not sure how to process this)

Payton: … … …

---> Payton: Um. What?

Payton: … … Funny. You’re my #1 too.

Matteo: Oh wow. Haha. (offers Payton a high five as well. She doesn’t take it)

Payton: I’m a card-carrying member of the IBTC, so either you have low standards or you need glasses that match your hearing aid.

(Matteo is picking at his hearing aid. It squeaks. He looks around)

Matteo: (tiredly) … Wuh?...

Trixie: You’d probably look good in glasses, Matteo.

(Matteo blushes. This is just one big blush session for him. He's smiling comfortably and rocking back and forth)

Trixie: (Trixie's turn) I’d say… (Trixie looks to Ludwig. He still has his head down) Ludwig.

(Ludwig looks up abruptly. Everyone has mixed reactions)

Trixie: I think he has a lot of charm. And I dunno, maybe I'm into nerds. Who knows?

Payton: We do now that you've said it.

Axel: Um. Offense taken.

Grace: Offense to what?

Axel: Ludwig being liked by anybody.

(The cast just gives Axel a look)

---> Amber: Ludwig!? … C’mon Trixie. You can do better than that. Ludwig’s CUTE, but not the HOT kind of cute. Like… He's got the same appeal as a lapdog. Don't french your Lillipup, okay.

---> Payton: (smirks) Trixie’s trying to cheer up Ludwig by lying about who she thinks the hottest guy in the game is. Bad move, Trixie. That’s how you get unwanted boys to never leave you alone… (pause) … And does Matteo REALLY think I’m the hottest?

Ludwig: … (smiles at Trixie. It’s his turn) Well, I gotta say Trixie.

Natalie: (nudges Bolin) Called it.

(It’s Bolin’s turn)

Bolin: … Umm… … … I prefer not to say.

Axel: Is it also Ludwig? I’d be embarrassed if it was too.

Trixie: (sing songy) Axel shut uuuup.

Bolin: … Malika has my favorite style of everyone here. (looks to Malika) But you're a little young for me. Sorry.

(Malika looks at Bolin. This is the most attentive she’s been today)

Malika: .. Seriously? … Thanks.

---> Natalie: Wow… Bolin likes punk … That’s… (giggles) I didn't expect that!

Bolin: Don’t think anything of it. I saw the list. One of the ugliest, remember?

(Everyone's uncomfortable right now. Bolin is still hurt by being considered the second ugliest male in the cast)

---> Bolin: Of course I'm not actually interested in Malika. She's a little young for me. (looks to the side) ... Her style's just interesting, that's all. Now if someone in my age range were to copy that... I could get onboard. (Bolin glares at the camera) But not Malika. Eugh. That personality isn't for me.

Malika: (sits up) W-wait! The list! I, uh-

Grace: (sensing the awkwardness) Moving on.

---> Malika: Payton and I made that list. OBVIOUSLY Payton made the signatures without me knowing, but if I admit that then people will know I helped make the list in the first place... (sighs)

---> Payton: Aaaaaand Malika doesn't want to own up to the fact that we both made that list together. (claps) I didn't even plan for that part, it just fell into place perfectly. (thumbs up while looking up) Thanks, universe.

Axel: (Axel's turn) Hmmm… … … Grace. Honestly. If it wasn’t for the fact that you’re already taken, we’d all be saying YOU.

(Everyone nods in agreement)

Grace: … … Have I ever MENTIONED to any of you that I’m in a relationship?

Axel: You don’t have to. We can just tell.

Grace: (tilts her head) And HOW?

Payton: You’re confident and flirty. Honestly if you actually wanted any of us, you could of had us by day one, but you DON’T… so clearly you’re already taken.

Malika: (starting to cheer up) I was singing Tyler Swift in the shower the other day and you asked who the artist was… People in happy committed relationships are the only ones who don’t know who Tyler Swift is.

Grace: (nodding) … You all have me pegged. Yeah, her name’s Lucy.

---> Amber: (grumbling) Why'd I have to piss Grace off on the first challenge, we coulda been a power couple! ... Cept she's in a relationship and I'm not out nor was I even aware at that time. (Amber groans) Yeaaaaa complications.

(Everyone is listening to Zane ramble off. He’s been asked who he thinks is hottest)

Zane: -and Bolin and Payton and Ludwig and Natalie and Amber and Ryuma and Malika and-

(Alan is just staring deadpan off into the distance. He just so happens to be facing a camera... which really sums up his mood right now)

Amber: -Okay, you love everyone. Nothing new, Gleeghast. Who’s left?

(Only Amber and Ryuma left)

Ryuma: Us. (winks) I think it’s clear that Amber’s the hottest IF you ask me. Which you did. So yeah, she’s the hottest beyond her own type.

(A couple of people “awwwwww”. Now it’s AMBER’s turn)

Amber: …

Grace: So. Amber. Redundant question, but for the sake of the “awwws” who do you think is the hottest?

(Amber looks around. Everyone is looking at her. She begins to sweat. She looks at Ryuma. He IS cute… but she knows deep down he’s not the answer. She can’t keep leading him on like this, and despite Amber being the hothead we know her as… she doesn’t have it in her heart to hurt him like that)

Amber: … I … think …. (shakes her head) PFFT! Come on. Ryuma. Of course.

(Everyone “awwwwww”s at this. Amber turns to Ryuma and kisses him on the cheek. Amber immediately looks sick as soon as that discussion ends)

---> Amber: (has her face in her hands) Uggggggghhhh… I have to tell him… 

Grace: Well, that’s everyone.

???????: Not quite.

(Everyone screams in surprise. Emerging from the shadows is Mizz Specter. The old lady. She walks to the group and stands behind Matteo and Payton)

Mizz Specter: … Because I think Professor Kukui is the hottest. Hands down.

Payton: Um… how did you get in here? The door never opened.

Mizz Specter: I never left. I just stood right over there.

(She points to a dark corner. She literally stood there the whole time)

Matteo: … Dang.

Mizz Specter: I just thought you’d all like to hear a scary story.

(Matteo turns his hearing aid off. No he would NOT like to hear a scary story)

Natalie: (shakes her head) N-no. No we wouldn’t.

Axel: You’re just trying to psych us out so we’d leave.

Mizz Specter: (crosses her arms) Well what are we supposed to do? You all figured out that the “treasure” at the top was a trap and that none of you are going upstairs… so we have to try something else. Scary stories it is.

(Mizz Specter sits down. They all humor her and let her talk)

Mizz Specter: … You all may recall the long faded tale of Cubone and Marowak… this tower is famous for that.

Malika: Yeah. Team Rocket killed a Marowak and its spirit haunted this tower.

Mizz Specter: Yes… But she’s long passed. Off into the afterlife… but what if I were to tell you WHY she came here.

Matteo: To warn everyone about Team Rocket when they took over the tower.

Mizz Specter: WRONG… Well, I mean, yes, but there’s more! … She was here… to hold back a GHASTLY spirit that was wandering these halls… Protecting all of the living from it.

Bolin: We’re not following.

Mizz Specter: You see… … before this tower was built-

Payton: -Let me guess. The tower was built on an "indian burial ground".

Mizz Specter: That's racist.

Payton: I'm not being racist, I'm pointing out a racist cliche.

Mizz Specter: (shakes her head) Okay, well I have something far worse than racist cliches... this story involves no indians … for in this story… there are… (the camera zooms into her face) … REDNECKS.

(Everyone gasps)

Mizz Specter: A man moved to Lavender Town… but before it was a town, it was a small ranch run by rednecks and their mean Tauros herd. … The man arrived to town with plans to build a home where his sick Pokemon may rest. He had a Mr. Mime that was deathly ill…

(Nobody is happy that a Mr. Mime is being introduced into a scary story)

Mizz Specter: All he wanted to do was heal his Pokemon… but the rednecks didn’t like out-of-towners… so they turned him away… and his Mr. Mime passed on…

(Everyone is staring at Mizz Specter now. They’re all entranced in the story)

Mizz Specter: The man was devastated… So he built a tower just beyond their sightline. Over years, he had buried his other Pokemon there when they too became sick. He allowed peaceful visitors to do the same… but one day… the rednecks came… and by force, they buried their Tauros there too when the Tauros fell ill… The man was enraged. How dare these… these awful people who turned him away suddenly demand that HIS own home pay respects to THEIR Pokemon when they never did the same… The man let this rage boil with him till the day he died. Some of those Tauros are still buried here today…

Ryuma: … So… the Tauros haunt this place?

Mizz Specter: (chuckles darkly) … No, my child… … Generations pass… and on nights much like this one… the spirit of Mr. Mime will return and wreak vengeance on all who dare trespass in these sacred halls past dark… and his spirit won’t rest until every last spirit of every last Tauros in this tower is gobbled up.

(A few people gulp)

Mizz Specter: … And even in death, this creature is still ill… so his eyesight is not good… he may just mistake one of YOU for a Tauros spirit!

(Zane is hugging Axel for comfort. Natalie and Malika are hiding behind Bolin. Ryuma is clutching Amber’s hand. Ludwig and Trixie are much closer)

Mizz Specter: … Who knows? … He could even… be here… … RIGHT NOW!

?????: MR. MIME!!!!

(Everyone screams and turns to the sound of the voice…)


(It’s Bud wearing a shabbily put together Mr. Mime outfit)

Bud: (hopping around like a deluded jester) MR. MIME!!!

Ryuma: … As terrifying as that was, Bud what the hell?

Bud: … I’m actually being fairly paid for this.

Payton: Nice try, Bud. Keep it coming.

Grace: (chuckling) Improvement on your look, Bud.

Bud: (miming a wall between them) I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!

Mizz Specter: (snaps her fingers in defeat) Dang it. Kids these days just know their horror movies. There’s literally no way to trick them.

Zane: (pats Mizz Specter on the back) Do you need any emotional support?

Matteo: (fiddling with his hearing aid) Well… if anything, the story DID make me tired.

Payton: I thought you turned your hearing aid off.

Matteo: I did. I was just listening to silence for a while… and now I’m tired. Hehe. ...Sorry.

Ryuma: Yeah. I feel pretty tired too.

Alan: (tips his hat) Perhaps now would be a good time for us all to get some rest.

Trixie: Just think! Maybe we really CAN eliminate Chris if we all win immunity.

(Everyone laughs, enjoying that still. Bud and Mizz Specter are just awkwardly standing there)

Matteo: Well, guys, I don’t wanna hold any of you back, and I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep out here with you guys. I’m a light sleeper.

Bolin: You literally won yesterday because you’re not a light sleeper.

Matteo: (walking to the door) I’m just gonna head out and back to the trailers. I have immunity already so… good luck everyone!

Everyone: Bye! / See ya! / Get some rest! / Leave.

(Matteo opens the door. He tries to leave…)


(Matteo ran into something. He steps back and looks at the empty door once again)

Matteo: … Huh? (scratches his head)

Bud: (rolling his eyes) It’s an open door. Just walk through.

(Matteo puts his hands through the doorframe… but he can’t. There’s some kind of barrier. An invisible barrier. Matteo moves his hands around it the way a … mime …. would)

Matteo: … Um… guys…

(A shriek is heard. Everyone covers their ears. They all look around… Nothing happened)


(Everyone jumps and shrieks. They look up. The ceiling did the THUMP again. Everyone is growing fearful)

Mizz Specter: Nope. This is too much for me. I’m old. Sign me the hell out!

(Mizz Specter runs for the door and starts banging on the barrier)

Mizz Specter: What is this!? Let me out!

Grace: (stands up) There’s no way this is real.

(Suddenly, the barrier becomes visible. Pure black. The blackness starts bulging outwards and growing into the room they all occupy. It leaks fumes of smoke, which begin rapidly seeping into the floors, staining them black as more smoke purges the room. Everyone panics and watches as the tombstones in the room seep into the black tar and fog)

(Matteo and Mizz Specter are instantly engulfed)

Matteo and Mizz Specter: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

(They’re drowned in the blackness, overwhelmed by its flow and slammed into the ground, dissipating with the onslaught of darkness)

(R.I.P. Matteo and Mizz Specter)

Payton: N-NO! (Payton coughs) I mean… Nah, I said what I said. (She doesn’t correct herself) N-NO!!!

(Malika’s hyperventilating at the sight of the smoke. Natalie grabs her wrist and the two run for the staircase)

Bolin: Where are you going!?

Natalie: That… THING is after us! We’re getting to higher ground! Come on!

(Bolin nods. He runs after them. Everyone notices the three going up the stairs. They decide that it’s the best course of action. Everyone follows them. Bud guards the bottom of the staircase once everyone makes their way up)

Bud: You all go! I’ll hold it back!

Zane: (holding his hand out at Bud) MIME BUD! NOOOOO!!!

Axel: (yells to Bud) You’re not a real Mr. Mime! You can’t block it!

Bud: With hope… ANYTHING’S possible!

(Bud does a mime wall to block the black seeping fog that's coming at him like a vicious wave…. ... ...  It instantly engulfs him. Bud screams)


(Bud, like Matteo and Mizz Specter, is shrouded in darkness and vaporized)

(R.I.P. Bud)

Axel and Zane: AAAAUUUGGGHHH!!! (The two bolt upstairs. They’re OUT of here)

(The entire first floor is slowly flooding with the darkness. It suddenly goes black, indicating that the whole room was wiped out)




(The nightmare begins)




=== Lavender Tower, Second Floor === (The cast reaches the second floor. The second floor is a library. A maze at that. Everyone rushes together and thinks)

Bolin: Someone help me move this!

(Bolin is pushing a whole bookshelf all by himself. A couple of the contestants are impressed by his strength. Zane helps him move the bookshelf and plunge it down the stairs where it proceeds to block the entryway)

Zane: Alright! Teamwork! (opens arms) Hug?

Bolin: Most people high five.

Zane: Okay. (offers high five)

Bolin: I’m not most people. (walks away from Zane)

Zane: Awwww. (lowers arm in disappointment)

Alan: This is a predicament.

Malika: (now panicking) What are supposed to do?! We’re all gonna die! It’s over! We’re dead! WE’RE-

(Bolin grabs a hold of Malika. He holds her still)

Bolin: -Here’s what we’re gonna do.

(He sees everyone else still panicking)

Bolin: I SAID HERE’S WHAT WE’RE GONNA DO! If you wanna live, LISTEN to me!

(Everyone stops and listens to Bolin)

---> Alan: Commanding authority when needed… Well done.

---> Grace: I don’t like taking orders… but Bolin was NOT letting anybody step out of line. Nuh uh. Not today.

---> Malika: (blushing) Oh wow… Bolin. I'm usually into CUTE guys but I've never considered a guy like HIM. (Malika grins and shimmies) W-wow-wow-WOW!!

Bolin: First off, we’re NOT going anywhere alone!

Payton: Amber and Ryuma split up as soon as they got up here, soooooo…

(Amber and Ryuma are literally already gone)

Bolin: … Well, they’re not alone, they have each other… (yells) Everyone who’s currently here does NOT go off alone! Here that!?

(Everyone nods)

Bolin: Now we’ll all travel in groups of two and look for the staircase. We’re going all the way to the top.

Natalie: Why? Mizz Specter admitted that it only gets scarier up there.

Bolin: Our only option is to claim the treasure at the top. I bet once we do we’ll be able to combat this thing… if not, we’ll find an escape on our way up. Is that clear!? We go to the top! We split up in groups of two and head upward. Once you find the staircase, you alert everyone so we can all regroup! GO!

(Bolin keeps a firm hand on Malika's shoulder)

Bolin: You’re panicking a little too much for my comfort. I’m gonna need you to stay with me.

(Malika squees. She's estatic about this)

(Bolin and Malika walk off together. Natalie reaches out to them but inevitably gives up. She sighs and walks to the others)


(Axel grabs Trixie and yanks her down a corridor. Trixie yelps in surprise. Ludwig doesn’t see this happen)

(Grace and Alan team up. Grace’s Magnemite acts as their flashlight. Alan’s Honchkrow flies overhead)

(Zane and Natalie high five. Zane’s Gastly keeps a lookout. Natalie’s Butterfree is ready to hit any monster with stun spore)

(Ludwig looks around and sees nobody left… nobody but PAYTON)

---> Ludwig: (annoyed) … Payton.

Ludwig: Oh no.

Payton: Ugh. You.

Ludwig: Mutual disgust.

Payton: I don’t like you.

Ludwig: You’ve given me no reason to feel any different.

Payton: Can we go BEFORE I die of boredom around you and not the monster?

Ludwig: Lead the way.

(Payton and Ludwig go off together)


Lavender Tower Groups Of Two


R.I.P. - Matteo, Mizz Specter, Bud


(Ryuma and Amber are off in a secluded part of the library. Amber and Ryuma find a small coffee table with a big armchair. Ryuma sits down in it because Amber pushed him into it)

Ryuma: (blinking) Um… are we doing this now? (smiles eagerly)

Amber: No! This is different.

Ryuma: … … Oh…

Amber: (sits down in another chair) … Yeah.

Ryuma: I think I know what this is.

Amber: What?

Ryuma: Secluded spot. You’re all sweaty. Getting moderately touchy… I get it.

Amber: We NOT doing that-

Ryuma: -You’re breaking up with me.

(... Wow. Ryuma nailed it)

Amber: … Yes… and also … I feel like you should know why.

Ryuma: (sighs) … Amber, I kinda saw this coming. I’d prefer to know now so I can jump back in the game with my head fully intact. If you left me hanging, it’d drive me nuts… So… is that it? Is it the game? We can wait until it’s over before we-

Amber: -No, we’re not getting together after the game either.

Ryuma: What? Why? Was it because I pressured you into admitting that I’m the hottest guy in the game? I don’t mind if you think I’m second best, It’s okay. I totally overreacted to that-

Amber: -No. It’s something out of your control.

Ryuma: Oh my god, are your parents racist?

Amber: (cheerily) You know, for farmers… surprisingly not.

Ryuma: That’s nice! … Sooooo … (leers) … Are YOU racist?

Amber: Ryuma.

Ryuma: Just joking. But really, what is it?

Amber: … I’m… 


(Suddenly, the coffee cup on the table fills with black fog. It erupts with dark fog and quickly shrouds the floor and the bookshelves around them. The area around them turns black... and the monster has arrives)

Amber: -CAN YOU WAIT!?

(The monster pauses before it engulfs the two)

Ryuma: ...

Amber: ... I’m gay.

(The only thing the monster is eating right now is all of this juicy drama. It waits)

Ryuma: … … … (sinks in his chair) Ohhhhhh …

Amber: You okay?

Ryuma: …

Amber: … Ryuma? …

Ryuma: … (to monster) You can eat us now.

Amber: WAIT-

(And so it does. Amber and Ryuma, without another word, are completely wiped out by the monster)

Amber and Ryuma: AUH-

(R.I.P. Amber and Ryuma)


(Axel and Trixie are walking together. Trixie is walking ahead of him, not looking happy with his presence)

Trixie: Why would you want to partner with ME? You hate me.

Axel: No, I hate Ludwig, and you’re spending an awful lot of time with him and it’s concerning.

Trixie: What’s concerning about it?

Axel: I’m worried he’s trying to use you, okay? I don’t trust him. First he acts so above it all with his “oh I have a journal I’m so smart let me waste your time talking about it” and now he’s a weepy mess? He’s just trying to get sympathy.

Trixie: He’s a weepy mess because the last challenge was horrible for him. Let him get over it.

Axel: You see, scientists don’t get all emotional. They act like they care, but it’s all part of some experiment. They don’t care. They never care. …

(Trixie is wide eyed. Is Axel about to… open up?)

Axel: …. (turns to Trixie) He’s got to be up to something. (looks at Trixie) Can you read his mind? You're psychic.

Trixie: Oh uh... (bites her lip) My psychic abilities are very particular. They come in waves. 

Axel: Don't psychics only have ONE ability? What's yours?

Trixie: Inquisitiveness. Axel, you have strange views on scientists, want to talk about it?

(Trixie stops for a moment and listens… she hears something. Axel bumps into her)

Axel: Hey-

Trixie: -Shh…. (Axel hears nothing) … … … I thought I heard a … Why would THAT Pokemon be here?

Axel: What? What Pokemon? What did you hear?

??????: HEY! OVER HERE!!!

(Trixie and Axel hear the sound of Bolin’s voice. They run towards it)


(Trixie and Axel arrive at a staircase. Bolin and Malika are waiting there. Soon, the others join them. Everyone’s back together)

Bolin: Has anyone seen Amber and Ryuma?

Grace: Nope.

Malika: Oh my gosh… They’re dead. The two strongest types are dead!

Natalie: I believe ALL types are strong-

Bolin: -Natalie, not the time! We gotta go!

Alan: We don’t know if the others are dead. I suggest we at least search first-

(Suddenly, more of the darkness explodes from the bookshelves, seeping out of every book. Everyone screams and jumps back towards the staircase)

(The darkness instantly grabs onto Alan who didn't see it coming)

(Everyone screams. Alan is grabbed around the waist and neck. The fog grew limbs and begins to strangle him on the ground before yanking him into the embrace of the darkness)


Alan: (unusually calm. Deadpan sarcastic) Oh no. (coughs) Darkness. I can't imagine how-

(Alan is swallowed into the mass of black. He's dragged away and disposed of... )

(R.I.P. Alan)

(Everyone bolts up the stairs. The darkness receives a heavy electric shock from Grace’s Magnemite)

Grace: That’s it, Magnemite! Give it some light to compare itself to! Suck it, darkness!

(Magnemite is swallowed whole, and Grace knows she’s next)

Grace: Oh crud! Magnemite just never catches a break! (yells) I’LL FIX YOU WHEN I FIND YOU!

(Grace turns to run up the staircase... but unfortunately gets grabbed by the hell. Grace hits the stairs and winces)

Trixie: GRACE!

Ludwig: RUN!

Grace: AUGH!

(Grace is pulled down the stairs, but she grabs onto the railing, keeping herself from being yanked into the churning fog)

Trixie and Ludwig: N-NO!!!

(Trixie and Ludwig, alliance mates, rush to Grace’s aid. They grab her arms… But they’re too late. The shadows form a mass that collapses down on Grace’s lower half, startling Trixie and Ludwig sending them careening backwards where they’re grabbed by Bolin)

Grace: AUGH!!!

(Grace is buried underneath the oncoming stampede of darkness... )

(R.I.P. Grace)

(The entire library floods with darkness. That’s five contestants downed by the monster. The cast flees up to the next floor)

Axel: Let’s go!

Zane: AUGH!!!

Malika: NOO!!!

Bolin: WE NEED TO RUN!!!


Lavender Tower Nightmare Run


R.I.P. - Matteo, Mizz Specter, Bud, Ryuma, Amber, Alan and Grace



Chapter Text

Region Trotters: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 7

Alan (DARK), Axel (POISON), Bolin (FLYING), Ludwig (STEEL), Matteo (GROUND), Ryuma (DRAGON), Zane (GHOST)

Amber (FIRE), Grace (ELECTRIC), Malika (GRASS), Natalie (BUG), Payton (ICE), Trixie (PSYCHIC)


=== Lavender Tower === (The nightmartish building seven floors high is now an official death house. Matteo,  Bud, Mizz Specter, Amber, Ryuma, Alan and Grace have all been devoured by a strange shadow monster on the first and second floor. The cast is running up to the third floor)

(Misdreavus and Gastly’s float around the area. They enter and exit through tight, tiny windows. They don’t seem bothered by what’s happening)


=== Lavender Tower, Third Floor === (Seven floors total. This third floor looks like a circular room with multiple hallways branching off from it. There are doors all around, like hotel hallways)

(Bolin, Zane, Natalie, Payton, Ludwig, Axel, Trixie and Malika all gather together)

Bolin: Okay. So we’ll split up again and-

(The darkness is already coming up the stairs. It reaches them. Everyone runs down a different hallway with the same person they went with before)



Lavender Tower Groups Of Two

R.I.P. - Matteo, Mizz Specter, Bud, Ryuma, Amber, Alan and Grace



(Payton and Ludwig are running together, they don’t look back. They come across a hallway full of doors. Ludwig opens a door and pulls Payton inside)

(The two are inside of a cramped closet now. They close the door. Sounds of rumbling occur outside. The darkness sounds different on this floor. There’s... footsteps outside. Large clunky footsteps)

??????: MMmmmmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii….

(It fades down the corridor. It's passed them)

Payton: … Is it gone? Go check.

Ludwig: Why don’t you go out and check?

Payton: No, I’d die. That’s why I’m sending you.

Ludwig: What is your problem with me?

Payton: Quiet down. It could come back.

Ludwig: Answer my question.

Payton: Be quiet and stop being upset that none of the girls in this game find you attractive, sheesh.

Ludwig: !!! Well I wouldn’t be so loud if you’d stop saying stuff like that! … And besides, Trixie does.

Payton: Out of pity, yeah. Get a grip.

Ludwig: Bite me.

Payton: You're a little young for that kind of language. And in case you haven't been able to tell, which is surprising cuz of how obnoxiously meticulous you are about analyzing people, I have an issue with EVERYONE. Not my fault you feel like my indifference towards you is anything special.

(Payton opens the door. Ludwig peers out. The monster is gone. The two keep walking. Ludwig is trying to brush it all off)

---> Payton: I get “fighty” in life or death situations. (rolls her eyes) Sorrrry.


(Zane and Natalie are walking down the corridors together. They lost the monster too. They check inside every occasional door, but find no staircase)

Zane: WILD how Bolin turned out to be a survivalist, huh?

Natalie: Zane, that’s literally what he is.

Zane: No, I mean a horror movie survivalist. He’s really taken charge here.

Natalie: Yeah. He has. (Natalie turns and keeps walking) I’m actually kind of impressed.

Zane: (smugly turns to Natalie) Ooooh? How impressed?

Natalie: I just … He’s my devil’s advocate in a way. I want him to flop… but he keeps jumping right over my head. I’m surprised he even bothers talking to me at this point. I forced him to train a Pokemon he doesn't even like.

Zane: You think you’re not worth his time? That’s not true.

Natalie: Well, he disagrees with me on virtually everything, so yeah. I don’t understand how I’m worth any of his time to him.

Zane: Maybe he likes you!

Natalie: (blushes) Z-zane, let’s not go there.

Zane: No really! I can totally see it! He has a crush on you and he doesn’t know how to propose his feelings! So he just argues, cuz it’s all he knows how to do with you. I can put in a good word for you! Or him! Do you need me to do anything? This is my specialty.

Natalie: Zane, I’m fine. I.. I mean, he’s NOT bad looking and is a good conversationalist if our arguments mean anything but… (shakes head) No. This is silly.

Zane: Love is always silly!

Natalie: I don’t like Bolin that way. Besides, I wouldn't want a relationship that started with a series of fights. That's a bad basis.

Zane: But no relationship starts perfectly. You decide when it "starts".. It’s just that if you think you might like him you should totally talk to him! It’s worked out well for Amber and Ryuma hasn’t it?

(As if fate was texted and finally decided to reply, Zane hits a wall. Natalie too. They smush into an invisible force in the middle of the hallway)

Zane: Hm? (pushes against the wall. Nothing) That’s odd.

Natalie: (clutching Zane’s arm) Z-ZANE!....

(They look behind them. The dark fog is closing in. It found them… and they’re trapped)

Natalie: Z-ZANE!

Zane: You know. Maybe it’s actually just a ghost playing pranks on us. Gastly! Go check it out!

(Gastly flies behind Zane, not wanting to. The two hear footsteps from the fog. Clunky, heavy footsteps. Two glowing pairs of eyes come from the shroud. They move together and jerk around as if in agony. A dark shadow of a creature steps from the shadows displaying its thin joints, bulky shoulders and large horns. But the most notable feature… it’s bulky hands with large orbs on the end. The hands are moving the way a mime would… Oh crud, it's him)

(The two scream before it gets them, blowing through the invisible wall and sucking Zane and Natalie into its shadowy embrace)

(R.I.P. Natalie and Zane)


(Malika and Bolin keep moving. Malika is clutching Bolin’s arms as they walk)

Malika: … I have to come clean. I made the list with Payton. It was just the two of us, don't be mad at anybody else-

Bolin: -I’m not mad about it. It’s petty.

Malika: But you’re clearly upset since you keep bringing it up. I don’t think you’re ugly. It’s just… the others are… better looking? (winces)

Bolin: Doesn’t make it better.

Malika: Look! This is reality TV, pretty much ALL of us are “good looking” even you. I bet if you stood in line with, like, ten random people on the street, you’d be the hottest, hands down!

(Bolin starts blushing. His whole face turns red)

Bolin: Um, well, uh, that’s, um, well… ... I appreciate that.

Malika: ... Am I digging the hole deeper here?

Bolin: … (does a “so or so” hand motion)

Malika: … I’m sorry. I don’t think you’re ugly. You’re actually… pretty charming. (squeezes his arm tighter) Like the way you took charge today. That was pretty hot.

(Bolin is now a blushing mess right now. Malika notices how hot under the collar he’s getting)

Malika: … Bolin?

---> Bolin: Malika and I are never gonna happen. I just appreciate compliments, that's all.

(A door nearby suddenly swings open. The two scream. Bolin instinctively thrusts Malika behind him. ... The two are relieved when it's just Trixie and Axel)

Trixie: We found the stairs!

Bolin: (yells as loud as he can) HEEEEEEYYYY!!!! REGROUP!!!

(They instantly run so they can get to the staircase and be safe. Fog leaks behind the corner they just bolted away from... A narrow escape)




=== Lavender Tower, Fourth Floor === (The fourth floor has a straight run to the next staircase. Bolin waits for the others)

(Bolin, Trixie, Axel and Malika are left)

Trixie: Where’s Ludwig and Payton?

Axel: Hopefully dead.

(Trixie glares at Axel)

Axel: … … (confused) What? ... Oh sorry. I meant "PROBABLY" dead. Probably. Not "hopefully". Is that what you wanted to hear?

(Suddenly, Ludwig and Payton arrive up the staircase. They don't stop running to acknowledge the others)

Ludwig: GO GO GO!!!


(Bolin grabs Trixie and Malika, yanking them away from the fog as it lurches up at them from the staircase)

(Ludwig and Payton skid to a halt when they see what’s blocking the way to the OTHER staircase at the end of the hallway that leads up to the next floor...)

(A dark shadow, a silhouetted Mr. Mime with red eyes stares jubilantly at them as fog flutters from where it steps)

?????: MiiiiiiiiIIIIIiii!!!!! (stomps its feet and slowly walks towards them)

Payton: (sarcastic) Great, our exit is blocked. At least dying tragically was on my bucket list.

Malika: What do we DO!?

Axel: Die? What other choice do we have?

(Axel, Malika, Ludwig, Payton, Trixie and Bolin are trapped between the Mr. Mime phantom and the creeping fog of darkness lurching up from the lower staircase)

Bolin: … (cracks his knuckles) ... You all run ahead. I’ll distract him.

Malika: BOLIN! NO!

Bolin: (pushes Malika into Axel and Ludwig’s arms) I SAID GO!!! GET OUT OF HERE!!

Axel: Technically you said "run ahead"-

Bolin: -SHUT UP!

(Bolin gets a running start at Mr. Mime. If it’s Bud in disguise again… Bud's gonna have a bad day)

(Bolin straight up tackles the thing, but he plunges through it and is devoured by the fog. Bolin’s distorted screams echo until they fade from existence. He just evaporated… just like that)

(R.I.P. Bolin)

(Everyone screams, but takes the moment of distraction to run past the monster to the staircase. A hand shoots out of the shadows with an outward grasp, reaching to claim a victim)

(And it does. It catches one on the run)

Malika: A-AH!!!

(Malika’s foot is grabbed and she is dragged into the cloud. She tries digging her nails into the ground, but it doesn’t work with stone. She lets go and is thrusted into the air before being jetstreamed into the shadows, screaming on the way inside)

Malika: AAAAHHH!!!- (gone)

(R.I.P. Malika)

Trixie: Malika!

---> Axel: Still only the second scariest day of my life. (blows hair out of his eyes)

(Trixie is grabbed by Ludwig, who yanks her up the stairs to safety. Alliance. Those four make it, and Bolin and Malika are done for)




(After a few more floors of panic’d fleeing, the final four reach the sixth floor. The one below the seventh. Numbers, man. Work the same every time)


Lavender Tower - Remaining Survivors

R.I.P. - Matteo, Mizz Specter, Bud, Ryuma, Amber, Alan and Grace, Zane, Natalie, Bolin and Malika




=== Lavender Tower, Sixth Floor === (There’s no staircase. Just an empty stone room)

Payton: Where’s the exit? (upset) WHERE’S THE EXIT!?

Ludwig: We’re moving UP, Payton. There’s no exit, we just have to keep going until-

Payton: -Shut! Just shut! (massages her forehead) Arceus help us.

Trixie: Look, we need calm down and-

Payton: -Oh be QUIET! At least if you die people will remember your stupid comics! How about YOU calm down!?

Trixie: I AM calm.

Payton: HEY! Monster! If you kill me, you better not leave a trace of my body, GOT IT!? That’s a GENUINE CONCERN OF MINE!

Trixie: Why?

Payton: (points at Trixie) SHUT-

Ludwig: -G-guys…

(The shadowy force is back. It slowly lingers up the staircase. The Mr. Mime emerges and walks towards the cast. It shakes and rattles at them, causing them to back up... except Axel who was taking a breath by the stairs)

Ludwig: AXEL!!

Axel: What!?

(Axel was caught off guard and grabbed by the mime. Ludwig runs over and grabs Axel’s hand)


Ludwig: Me or the Mr. Mime?

Axel: Good question. Which is worse?

(Mr. Mime stares directly at Ludwig… only inches away from his face. His arms are grasping Axel. Ludwig’s heart beats too fast and he screams in fear. Mr. Mime swings his arms and knocks Ludwig away before he tosses Axel into the cloud where he disappears and is immediately silenced)

(R.I.P. Axel)

Ludwig: OW!

Trixie: AXEL!

Ludwig: (sits up, at a good distance from Mr. Mime now) … I’m less mad at him now that I’ve seen him die.

Payton: (is backed against the wall) No no no no no! I don’t wanna die! No! Not like this! I don’t deserve this! … I mean…

Trixie: (yells at the Mr. Mime) What do you want!? The Tauros? We’re not them!

(The Mr. Mime keeps walking)

Ludwig: Do you need us to figure out what you’re MADE of?! Perhaps a form of distillated neo-plasmatic dyoxi-

Trixie: -Maybe it wants us to repent?

Ludwig: What do we have to repent for!?

Payton: FINE! FINE!

(They look to Payton)

Payton: I made that list specifically to upset Ludwig and stir up trouble with Amber and Ryuma! I did it on purpose! Ludwig’s STEEL type and I just really want him gone because Steel is a scary type to compete against, and he was already vulnerable so I just wanted to knock him over the edge! That’s all! Is that so wrong?!

(Ludwig clenches his fist and turns his back to Mr. Mime. Trixie keeps backing away)

Trixie: L-Ludwig...

Ludwig: “Is that so wrong?” Are you kidding me? YES! (pauses) … Wait… so I might NOT be the ugliest guy in the cast?

Trixie: Ludwig!


Ludwig: … (smiling) Oh wow-

Trixie: LUD-

(Mr. Mime grabs Ludwig and does the same thing he did to Axel to him. He just mercilessly throws him onto the ground behind him, where the shadows hone in and shoot at him like spears, instantly covering him in darkness and erasing him)

Ludwig: AH!!-

(R.I.P. Ludwig)

(Beldum, who is outside of his Pokeball, frantically floats over to the cloud)

Trixie: Beldum! No! Come back here!

(Beldum is engulfed in the cloud. From deep in the darkness, a glowing light occurs, but is quickly swallowed up)

Trixie: (mumbling as she steps back, shaking in fear) I honestly thought his journal would be his downfall… (Trixie shouts) WHAT DO YOU WANT!?!?

Payton: T-TRIXIE! … I just want you to know that you’re the only person in this game who isn’t a complete moron.

Trixie: Really?

Payton: … KINDA!? I’m exaggerating! I just wanna say something relatively sweet before I’m freaking slaughtered, okay!

(Payton suddenly starts dissolving into the wall. The wall’s turned black too and they haven’t noticed. Cowering against it made her vulnerable. Payton screams as she gets pulled in. She literally melts into the wall as more of her body gets engrossed in pure darkness)

Payton: WHAT THEF-MMMPH!!! (Payton is completely pulled into the wall. She's gone)

(R.I.P. Payton)

Trixie: N-no! …

(Trixie covers her ears and sits on the ground. She tries to block it all out and wait for it to end)

(Mr. Mime is looming over her)

Mr. Mime: Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiypnooooooooo…..

(Trixie hears the sound again. The one she heard earlier. This Pokemon… she hears it far off. Trixie looks up at the Mr. Mime… she concentrates hard on it, looking it directly in the bloodshot eyes)


(Trixie stares with wide eyes. The monster is about to strike her... Trixie’s eyes sparkle for a moment. She looks the monster dead in the face, even standing up)

Trixie: … Wait a minute… I know what you are… ….

(Suddenly, the entire room distorts and turns to white. The Mr. Mime’s face squeals in agony and clutches its head)







(The nightmare is over)

=== Lavender Tower, First Floor === (All sleeping bags are still set up in a circle. All of the contestants are there, wide awake and sitting. Trixie is the only one sleeping. A HYPNO is standing in the center of the circle, facing her)

(The Hypno suddenly careens back and clutches its head. It woozily falls over)

(Trixie wakes up. She looks around in terror)

Trixie: W-WHAT!? … You’re all okay!?

Chris: Yup.

(Chris, Bud, and Mizz Specter arrive. Bud is still in his Mr. Mime outfit)

Chris: You WON, Trixie!

Trixie: … H-how is this-

Chris: -When you all first stepped foot in the tower, we knocked you all out with a powerful Hypnosis from Mizz Specter’s Hypno here.

(Hypno is lying on the ground, moaning)

Chris: As soon as you all went to sleep, Hypno used Nightmare on you all. The challenge was the last one to wake up would win. Most of you did pretty good.

(Everyone just glares at Chris)

Chris: Trixie, I don’t know what you did, but you gave him an awful bad headache just now.

Trixie: … I did that?

(Trixie realizes… her psychic powers. They must have been briefly tapped into)

Trixie: … I did that!

Axel: WAIT! … So if that was all a dream… then why is Bud still dressed like a Mr. Mime?

(Ex Files theme plays)

Bud: You don’t know what I’m into.

(Subject instantly dropped)

Chris: So that concludes today’s challenge. Trixie has immunity again and the rest of you have to take another shot at elimination… experiencing it potentially. Haha. We’re actually just gonna have the ceremony right here. Meet in five minutes.

(Trixie looks over at Payton, who is on her way out the door)

Trixie: Payton-

(Payton’s out)

Trixie: …


=== Outside Lavender Tower === (Matteo is walking towards the trailers on his own. Payton moves fast with her tiny legs to catch up to him. She manages to pace him)

Payton: Hey.

Matteo: Oh! Hi Payton! How are-

(Payton keeps walking, and walks right past him. But in passing, she pats his arm)

Payton: -Glad you’re ok.

(Payton walks off without another word. Matteo just tilts his head in confusion... then smiles. He continues his nightly stroll)


=== Lavender Cemetery === (Amber is standing outside of it again like she was earlier. Ryuma walks over and stands next to her. They both lean against the wall)

Ryuma: … … So getting killed got me thinking.

Amber: Amen.

Ryuma: … I’m not mad. I’m okay with all of this, it’s just… well of course we have to break up now.

Amber: Yeah.

Ryuma: I want to get this off my chest … because one of us is likely going home today.

Amber: What!? Why’s that?

Ryuma: We were technically the “PDA couple” of the horror movie today. We represented the worst of the worst.

Amber: … (looks down. It’s true. They bombed today)

Ryuma: So… All feelings aside… I think we should just continue the game as is. But it’s been fun… (pause) … F-for me, I guess.

Amber: (chuckles) Yeah… Sorry about everything.

Ryuma: You're gay, don't apologize. It's not to apologize for... Unless you dated me KNOWING you were gay. That'd be a little messed up.

Amber: ... Back home, I live on a farm with my older brothers. We don't have a lot of technology or ipads or magazines so I ... Arceus, this is embarassing but-

Ryuma: -You've almost gotten no exposure to actual GIRLS.

Amber: Let alone GRACE. (Amber leans her head on the wall and smiles) She is HOT, and I just... Being on this show, I've been travelling to different cities and I've been seein a lot of advertisements, a lot of civilians, and just... (shakes her head) I like girls, Ryuma. I got with ya because I figured it's what I was supposed to do...

Ryuma: (shakes his head and smiles) But that isn't who you are. I'm not what you want.

Amber: (looks at Ryuma with a frown) You sure you're not mad?

(Ryuma smiles and offers a fistbump. He's not mad. Amber smiles and takes it. They get up and walk back to Lavender Tower)

---> Ryuma: (shrugs) I might be going home… Ross was experienced in the field and not quite in battle. Amber’s a different story… She may get the drop on me. (Ryuma sits up straight) But even if I go, I’ll be fine, because everyone in this game has managed to keep up! … I’d say everyone’s qualified for that million dollars. (nods) And I’d have it no other way.

---> Amber: Well, every minute I’m here and not home after admitting that I’m gay on National Television is… well, it’s nice. I don’t have to face my family yet as long as I’m still in the game… but if I were to go home, I’d be alright. I’d have a lot to talk about with everyone back home. (tips her hat) So get ready, folks. Amber may be comin back sooner than you expected.





=== Lavender Tower, First Floor === (Everyone stands to the side and leaves the bottom floor as a wide empty space. A pure stone battlefield)

(The cast waits as Bud, Chris and Miss Specter judge)

Chris: Trixie wins again. As for the rest of you. Safety goes to Payton… Ludwig … Axel … Bolin … Malika … Natalie … Zane … Grace

(Payton seems especially relieved to be safe, but doesn't outwardly show it. She just blinks with a blank stare. Ludwig takes note, literally)

Chris: So that leaves... Amber… Ryuma... and Alan.

Bud: Ryuma… boy, keep your head in your head.

Chris: Amber. Get your life together.

Mizz Specter: Alan… (does a phone hand gesture) Call me. (blows a kiss)

(Alan shakes his head. This again)

Chris: WELL! You know the drill. You three must defend yourselves to save yourselves.

(Chris turns to all of the current safe contestants)

Chris: And the rest of you can as well. Help your friends in the bottom three, or convince us that your enemies should go. Or both. Try and sway our decisions.


(Analysis Of Bottom Three - Episode 7)

---> Payton: … (glares at the camera) You all heard nothing from me today. Absolutely nothing. Send Amber home, this is like the bajillionth time she’s been in the bottom three.

---> Grace: Yeah. Amber. She made a list just for the sake of making Ludwig self conscious. What kind of champion is that? Just send her home already.

---> Trixie: Ludwig, Grace and I have all agreed on trying to get Amber sent home… and frankly, how hard can that be? Amber’s sweet sometimes, but she’s just too … hard to figure out. She formed a relationship way too fast, and I feel like Ryuma would do better without that right now… (pause) Unless those two are genuinely happy with each other.

---> Zane: … Hmmm… Nope. I like everyone. Not gonna hurt anyone’s chances. (crosses his arms)

---> Matteo: (tapping his face) … Um.. … … Alan like… He did a good job… So far. (smiles) He kicked that Captain’s butt yesterday.

---> Bolin: This romance nonsense is completely unacceptable. Ryuma and Amber should go home together. Alan should stay.

---> Natalie: Amber. Ryuma’s actually… (pause) … I’m sorry, I don’t have a lot to contribute right now.

---> Axel: Yeah, I don’t have anything to say. I just DIED a couple minutes ago. Can I cope in peace?

---> Ludwig: So I’m NOT the ugliest? (smiles)

---> Malika: … (whistling) That Bolin tho.

---> Ryuma: (sighs) … … … I don’t have anything I could say about Alan. He’s handled himself well despite his handicap. … And I’m not gonna put Amber down… …

---> Alan: Ryuma and Amber should save their romance for after the show. There.

---> Amber: Let Ryuma be safe. I can take Alan. I just… I know this isn’t… strategic but… PLEASE don’t make Ryuma the one I have to defeat and send home. Cuz I’ll win either way.


(Input Submitted. Chris, Bud, and Mizz Specter approach the cast after reviewing them)

Mizz Specter: The first three gone…

Chris: Alan, we can only forgive so many mistakes due to your blindness… but after yesterday’s events, we believe you can do better. You’re safe.

(Alan catches his poffin. He just held out his hands)

(Amber winces. Ryuma just solemnly looks down)

Chris: … Amber… Ryuma… … Tough that the love birds gotta brawl it out. But one of you is going home. (nods) Sorry.

Ryuma: No you’re not.


(Everyone gasps that Amber and Ryuma have to battle one another)




=== ELIMINATION BATTLE === (AMBER (Fire) vs RYUMA (Dragon) Begin!)

(Amber and Ryuma stand on opposite sides of the battlefield. They summon their only Pokemon. Jangmo-o and Vulpix)

Ryuma: Okay, Amber… Sorry about this.

Amber: Battle hasn’t ended yet.

Ryuma: Hasn’t even started.

Amber: Let’s fix that. VULPIX, use Confuse Ray!


(Jangmo-o dodges the ball of confusion. DOEEIIIIII. He slams into Vulpix, knocking it backwards and into a wall)


(Amber watches in horror as her Vulpix is thrown across the field. She yells out to it)

Amber: WILL-O-THE-WISP! Do it, Vulpix!

(Vulpix sends out multiple balls of energy. All are floating in the area. Vulpix continues to shoot these fireballs. They float in a circle around Vulpix, creating a barrier)

Ryuma: You can’t hide in that barrier forever.

Amber: Vulpix, prove him wrong.

Ryuma: … (sighs) Amberrrrr you’re not making this easy.

Amber: I’m a difficult gal.

Ryuma: (chuckles) Yeah. I figured. Okay, Jangmo-o. Wrap this up. Dragon Tail off the rocks and get in there.

(Jangmo-o raises its tail. He slams the ground HARD, sending the little creature flying through the air. He aimed perfectly. He’s soaring downward at Vulpix. On impact, Vulpix will surely be done for)

Payton: (cheerily) I get the bunk to myself after this.


(Vulpix shoots Confuse Ray straight upwards. Jangmo-o collides directly into it. Vulpix rolls out of the way. It runs through the circle, absorbing some of the fire with Flash Fire, it’s ability, boosting its own attack power)

Ryuma: … Uh oh.

(Jangmo-o gets up and looks around, confused. It’s surrounded by fire. Will O The Wisps)

(Vulpix cries out, sending the wisps directly at Jangmo-o, causing a burn)

Ryuma: Burns and confusion won’t stop Jangmo-o, Amber.

(Jangmo-o grins victoriously as it charged headfirst at Vulpix)

Ryuma: Jangmo-o! Finish with a headbutt!

Amber: Ryuma, I only need one word to take you down.

Ryuma: … (realizes the situation) … Please don’t say “Hex”.

Amber: (snaps her fingers) You heard him, Vulpix.

(Vulpix unleashes a phantom torrent on Jangmo-o. HEX is a weak ghost move that’s power DOUBLES when the opponent is affected with a status effect. Jangmo-o crumbles, but stays in the game)

Trixie: And Jangmo-o was burned AND confused!

Ludwig: And by absorbing its own Will-O-The Wisp, the Vulpix amped up its own Fire Type moveset… so all it would need to finish off Jangmo-o is-

Ryuma: Jangmo-o! DRAGON TAI-

Amber: -EMBER!

(Vulpix shoots a POWERFUL shot of fire at Jangmo-o… And just like that.. The dragon is down)

Ryuma: … … N-no… … But… I’m a DRAGON tamer… Dragons can’t lose this early… …

Amber: If there’s anything you’ve learned about ME… is that I’m full of surprises. (playfully shrugs)

Ryuma: (puts his face in his hands) Uggghhhhhhh…

Amber: (goes to being serious) … … … (sighs)



(Ryuma picks up his Jangmo-o. He calmly walks for the exit. Amber stops him)

Amber: But all in all… are you-

Ryuma: -I’m fine. … … I should have stuck to the island challenge in Alola. (smirks)

Amber: Ryuma. You did great. It was me. It was all me. I’m the reason you lost. Blame me. Not yourself.

Ryuma: … (smiles) Are you always this nice? Cuz you certainly weren’t when I was still a competitor.

Amber: … Game rage gets to me. (shrugs) … But has anything gotten to you-

Ryuma: -I’m fine. You’re underestimating me. I can take care of myself. At the very least, I did a little publicity boosting for my hometown, Seafolk Village. We’re pretty isolated. (nods) You should come visit sometime.

Amber: Do I have to pretend to be your girlfriend?

Ryuma: No. Just pretend to not be my enemy.

Amber: .. I think I can manage that.

(Ryuma walks past Amber and disappears into the light of the outside)

(Farewell Ryuma)




=== Outside Trailers === (Payton is tossing a rock at the boy’s trailer. She hits a window. It’s a small rock so it doesn’t do anything. Ludwig opens the window and sees Payton)

Ludwig: … Were you throwing rocks at my window?

Payton: Be grateful I didn't ask Matteo to chuck his whole Onix.

Ludwig: That's disgusting.

Payton: He is literally in possession of the Pokemon Onix. Geez. (holds up a finger) I got something to say and the ONLY reason I’m saying this is because I got caught.

Ludwig: …

Payton: Sorry for making the list the way I did. I may have stepped over the line. I of all people don't have a right to make people feel bad about themselves physically.

Ludwig: Why, you're not that bad looking-

Payton: -Just take the apology. Or don't. (shrugs) Whatever.

Ludwig: … T-thank you?

(Ludwig’s not quite buying)

Payton: And if it makes you feel any better, Bolin’s the ugliest. (Payton rolls her eyes) So there.

(Ludwig closes the window. Payton stands for a moment before shrugging. She walks. In the background, sitting on a tree stump, Trixie had saw the whole thing)

Trixie: (stands up) That was sweet of you.

Payton: (stops dead in her tracks and walks over to Trixie) I only did that because I got CAUGHT.

Trixie: You said you of all people don't deserve to make others feel bad about their bodies. I didn't take you as someone with insecurities about that stuff, Payton.

Payton: Aren't you supposed to be psychic or something? Read my mind and leave me alone or whatever.

(Payton walks off, thoroughly annoyed. Trixie is still smiling)

---> Trixie: Wow. Evidence that Payton’s not all bad. Who would of thought?

---> Payton: Ludwig’s a steel type user. Ice is weak to steel. I’m just trying to clear the field of weaknesses NOW so I don’t do it later… (Payton brushes some of her hair aside) And besides… having Lt. Surge as a dad AND running a challenge in the future? Heck, if I succeeded in eliminating Ludwig I’d expect a “thank you”. …


(Grace catches up with Trixie. She punches her on the back. Trixie nearly falls over)

Grace: Sup, Buddy!

Trixie: Ow.

(Grace crosses her arms)

Grace: Sorry if I made things awkward with the whole “crush circle” today.

Trixie: I was gonna ask… why did you make everyone do that?

Grace: Ludwig was feeling down about the list. So in order to make the list old news, I gave everyone something else to talk about.

Trixie: That’s... really smart!

Grace: When you’re in an alliance with me, “smart” happens.

(Grace cheekily smiles and walks off. Trixie smiles and walks to her trailer. The alliance today was a complete success)


=== Boy’s Trailer === (Axel walks into the trailer. He’s done with the day. Zane and Alan are preparing for bed. Zane’s in his sleepwear and is Alan at his usual spot. Axel goes over to his bed and raises an eyebrow. It’s been removed of all the bedding)

Axel: … Um… where are my blankets?

Alan: (sips coffee) … … Oh dear.

Axel: What?

Alan: I gave Honchkrow permission to use Ryuma’s bedspread as pieces to a nest he’s building on the roof of the trailers.

Axel: …

Alan: … He may have taken liberties and taken yours too.

Axel: UUUGGGHHHH. Well how am I supposed to sleep tonight?! I have no mattress!

Zane: You can sleep with me in my bed! It’ll be like a sleepover!

Alan: Zane, this entire competition is a sleepover. What you have in mind is a smidge more intimate.

Zane: (smiling) Well, take the mattress under mine! It’s where Ross was supposed to sleep! We can be bunk buddies!

Axel: … Got any extra blankets?

(Zane tosses all of his blankets at Axel. He’s now covered in them)

Axel: (muffled) But these are all YOURS. What will you sleep with?

Zane: I’ve got enough skin to keep me warm. You on the other hand need all the warmth you can get! (pause) I’m also warmed by the knowledge that my friends are safe and able to sleep peacefully at night.

Alan and Axel: …

(Axel waddles over to the bunk under Zane, still covered in blankets. He just plops onto the bed and sleeps)

---> Alan: Get yourself a significant other who will treat you the way Zane treats literally everything on this planet.


=== Outside Lavender Cemetery === (Bolin and Natalie are having a brief meetup outside of the cemetary. Now that it's LATE at night, the area is a lot spookier. Staravia is perched on the fence over where Bolin is standing)

Natalie: Bolin. A moment?

Bolin: … (shrugs) Sure.

Natalie: It’s about Malika. She’s really sorry about the list.

Bolin: Why are you telling me-

Natalie: -This isn’t about me.

Bolin: … Tell her I’m not bothered. I shouldn't have gotten upset about it. It's just a list. I don't care who made it and who didn't. People can have opinions.

Natalie: (smiling) That's very mature of you... And if it's any consolation, I think you may have shot up a few people's lists after how you took charge today. (winks)

(Bolin's eyes wide)

Bolin: You think so?

Natalie: Oh yeah. That was hot, Bolin. (she teasingly leans on the wall next to him) You were like... Montana Jones meets Gijinka Sasquatch.

Bolin: Is that a good thing?

Natalie: Ohhhhhh yeah.

(Bolin is sweaty, nervous, and stuttering. He gets this way whenever he feels like flirting is present or being talked about. He immediately scampers off)

Bolin: Thanks. (leaves)

Natalie: … (yells, concerned) W-wait! Where are you going!?

(He’s gone)

Natalie: … (shakes her head and smiles) He’s DEFINITELY not as tough as he says he is.

(Natalie walks off. She smiles to herself and brushes her frizzy hair aside... )


=== Route 12 === (A large route filled with docks and fishermen. Ludwig is here, fighting Pokemon in the tall grass with his Pokemon. Oddish and Bellesprout are tackling his pokemon, but it spins and shakes them off)

(Ludwig notices Amber walking ahead of him. She didn't see him at all. She walks down a dock with a fishing rod. She kneels and begins to fish)

Amber: … … This one’s for you, Ryuma.

(Amber suddenly notices Ludwig)

Amber: WO-WOAH! What in heck!?

(Ludwig’s Pokemon isn’t a BELDUM anymore. Somewhere in the midst of the chaos was an evolution. Beldum is now a METANG, a more powerful, limbed floating robot. Ludwig proudly commands it to fight)

Ludwig: Hi, Amber.

Amber: … … … (grunts) … Nice to see SOMEONE’s havin a good day.

Ludwig: You know… my best friend in the game won immunity, my Pokemon evolved, and I got to experience death, which makes me less afraid of it now. I DID have a good day.

(Amber scoffs)

Ludwig: … S-sorry. I didn’t mean to brag.

Amber: Whatever. Glad somebody's havin a good time.

Ludwig: I’m sorry about Ryuma.

Amber: Ah, he doesn’t mind, Tinker Tot. … I think. (Amber sighs) Look, I just want some alone time, ok.

Ludwig: …

(Ludwig summons Metang back to his Pokeball. Ludwig walks away, respecting Amber’s wishes. Amber sits down and throws her fishing line into the water. She sits and fishes… … … She reels the line in too fast)

Amber: … … (chuckles) … … You rubbed off on me fast, Ryuma. … … (sighs) … …


=== Region Trotter's Trailers, Front Van === (Chris is sitting in the passenger seat of the front van that pulls the Region Trotter's trailers. Alan walks to Chris’ window and knocks. Chris rolls down the window)

Chris: Yes?

Alan: (without even ice breaking) Tell me more about Team Rocket’s attempts at infiltrating this show. That incident at Rock Tunnel still has me worried.

Chris: … … Dang, dude. Cutting deep, fast. (Chris groans) Yeah, they’ve been trying to take over our production since Rock Tunnel. I don’t know what’s going on. I mean… we don’t tell anyone about the locations we’re visiting except the Gym Leaders and the cast.

Alan: Have you considered that there may be a possibility that Rocket has someone working on the inside?

Chris: … Like a MOLE… in our CAST?

Alan: I’ve done investigative field work before. Just something to consider. I don’t like Team Rocket, and I’d rather have us all make it as far as possible in this game without their meddling, thank you.

(Alan walks away. Chris contemplates this)

---> Alan: I come from a lucrative line of work...


=== Lavender Cemetery === (Bud, still dressed as Mr. Mime, is walking with Mizz Specter through the spooky Lavender cemetary late at night)

Bud: So… is there really a treasure at the top of the tower?

Mizz Specter: Oh yeah.

Bud: What is it?

Mizz Specter: In my youthful days, I wrote a gargantuan amount of Teen Wolf erotica. The top floor is FILLED with printed copies.

(Bud just stops walking and stares in horror for a minute. He walks off, past Malika)


(Malika is sitting at the graves again. She’s not crying anymore, but she's just sitting there. Natalie walks in, holding a candle)

Natalie: Malika, there you are.

(Natalie sits down next to Malika)

Natalie: You had me worried- … Malika? Malika, what’s wrong? You’ve been like this for some time of the day…

Malika: … I… I’m just honoring my parents a little… This isn't their tombstone but I'm pretending it is ... I .. I didn’t mean to worry you…

Natalie: … Your parents? What happened to them?

Malika: I was adopted. Real parents … they died.

Natalie: Well... I KNOW they died, Malika. You've been very vocal about that. I mean what happened to them. How'd they die? If you don't mind me asking. (Natalie gasps) Was that insensitive?

Malika: No, you're fine... … Koffing attack. We didn’t live in the friendliest of neighborhoods…

(Natalie offers Malika a hug. Malika takes it)

Natalie:  … Is there anything I can do to help cheer you up?

Malika: … Maybe a little “girl talk” would be nice. (smiles at Natalie) To get my mind off of them...

Natalie: Whatever you want, Mally.

Malika: Well. (turns towards Natalie) … I think I like Bolin.

(Natalie’s face drops)

Natalie: …

Malika: Y-yeah… I have a crush on him… …

Natalie: O-oh… r-really? He's a little old for you, isn't he?

Malika: (giggling) Yeaaaaaaah but I know people in their thirties who date twenty year olds. We could always wait to date when we're an age where it isn't weird. He's 21. I'm 16. In a few years it won't even matter!

Natalie: (internally cringing) Ohhhhhh deaaaaaaar.

(Natalie and Malika proceed to talk... but Natalie doesn't shut Malika down simply because they're sitting right in front of a grave Malika is pretending is her parent's. Not the best time)

---> Natalie: First of all, absolutely not. Malika is FAR too young for him. Sixteen is too young. Now eighteen years old would be more appropriate. I'M eighteen... (Natalie sighs) A good friend would have told her not to pursue someone that much older than her... But imagine how much of a liar and a bad friend I'd look like if I were to flirt with the same man she told me she liked in confidence.  ... (Natalieputs her face in her hands) … I think I like Bolin too!




Zane Lute - Ghost type#092 Gastly#302 Sableye
Alan Collins - Dark type#430 Honchkrow 
Malika Carter - Grass type#285 Shroomish
Amber McLeod - Fire type:vulpix:
Trixie Masterson - Psychic type#677 Espurr#064 Kadabra 
Payton Rothman - Ice type#215 Sneasel 
Grace Cirillo - Electric type#081 Magnemite
Axel Kens - Poison type#023 Ekans#033 Nidorino 
Bolin Temirov - Flying type#397 Staravia#041 Zubat 
Ludwig Von Malmar - Steel type#375 Metang 
Natalie Harlow - Bug typeButterfree #347 Anorith 
Matteo Rossi - 
Ground type #027 Sandshrew#095 Onix 

Chapter Text

REGION TROTTERS: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 8

Zane Lute - Ghost type#092 Gastly#302 Sableye
Alan Collins - Dark type#430 Honchkrow 
Malika Carter - Grass type#285 Shroomish
Amber McLeod - Fire type:vulpix:
Trixie Masterson - Psychic type#677 Espurr#064 Kadabra 
Payton Rothman - Ice type#215 Sneasel 
Grace Cirillo - Electric type#081 Magnemite
Axel Kens - Poison type#023 Ekans#033 Nidorino 
Bolin Temirov - Flying type#397 Staravia#041 Zubat 
Ludwig Von Malmar - Steel type#375 Metang 
Natalie Harlow - Bug typeButterfree #347 Anorith 
Matteo Rossi - 
Ground type #027 Sandshrew#095 Onix 


=== Celadon City === (Celadon City is a great city in the Kanto Region, blossoming with life and bustling with capitalist activity. A game corner, a department store, and many more shops and organizations)


=== Outside Trailers === (At the edge of the city in a parking lot, Bud is trying to fix the engine of the van that pulls the trailers. It’s currently spewing smoke from the hood. Chris is sitting in a lawn chair nearby... just watching Bud struggle... as Chris himself struggles... to fit a whole burrito in his mouth)

Bud: (coughing up smoke) UGH! OW! Don’t eat smoke. Stay in school, but do drugs to get through it. (coughs)

Chris: We got a bit of a schedule, man. Can you hurry up a bit?

Bud: (turns to Chris) CAN YOU!?!?

(Yes he can. Chris eats the burrito faster now out of fear. Chris and Bud turn when they hear the sound of metal clanging and vocal tinkering. In the short span of time Bud spent turning to yell at Chris, they find Grace is now working on the engine)

Grace: (finishes) ... Done.

(Grace walks away. Bud stares at the engine... Chris walks over casually and slaps it with the burrito. It gently rumbles, fully functioning)

Chris: Wow. She’s good. One might even say she's better than YOU.


Chris: (eats the burrito faster) N-Not me.


(A vein pops in Bud's head. He’s MAD)

---> Grace: I break the truck on purpose and then show up to fix it myself. I’ve been doing it for weeks. (chuckles) It ticks off Bud and it gives me a greater sense of belonging in this cast. But we're not gonna delve into that. (winks and clicks her tongue)


=== Boy’s Trailer Bathroom === (The second time an episode has started in the boy’s bathroom. Righteous. Zane is unseen but inside of a stall doing his business. Axel is pacing outside, ranting. His Ekans is wrapped around his shoulder)

(The urinal is no longer a shrine to Professor Kukui. It is now a shrine to birds. All kinds of bird pictures on the urinal and even small wings attached. Bolin was clearly here)

Axel: I’m not crazy, Zane. They both just bother me to an irrational degree with nothing I can prove upfront! BUT C'MON! Ludwig’s clearly trying to play her, and Trixie’s falling for it hook line and sinker.

Zane: (voice) Trixie’s smart enough to know when she’s being played. Once I told her the trailers were on fire but she knew I was lying just so I could steal one of her fries. She's psychic, after all. AND she has fully functioning eyes that could see that the trailers were in fact NOT on fire.

Axel: (annoyed) Okay.

Zane: (voice) Ludwig gave me one of HIS fries.

(Axel sits down on the ground and grunts. Ekans slithers off his shoulder and coils next to him)

Zane: (voice) Besiiiiiides. Ludwig’s, what, fifteen? He's harmless, and past the age of wanting to destroy everything that lives. We all find ourselves there at some point in middle school, ya know?

Axel: I'm not wary of his age I'm wary he's a scientist.

Zane: (voice) And even still, not all scientists are like that… Come to think of it, why DO you specifically hate scientists so much?

Axel: They’ve never done ME any favors.

Zane: … They’ve literally created, produced, and prolonged 90% of the resources for the material conveniences that we daily utilize.

(Axel isn't responding. He's ignoring Zane now, scratching Ekan's neck... body? Where does a snake's neck meet their body?)

---> Axel: I’m not being petty. I just think all scientists are inherently emotionless with only the drive to fulfill their own selfish livestocks even if it means leaving a wake of desolation in people’s lives.


=== Celadon City, Department Store, Roof === (The lush, vibrant city of Celadon. It’s filled with beautiful trees and flowers, and a mega shopping complex. Payton and Matteo are having breakfast together on the roof of Celadon Department Store. Matteo has some fries with him. Payton is eating an omelette)

Matteo: You know, I didn't know they made omelettes at McDodrios.

Payton: They do if you're persistent enough to make the manager cry. (Payton pushes her omelette aside and puts her elbows on the table) Anyway, now begins one of the hardest tests of discipline for your Pokemon yet. Your Sandshrew needs to lose the attitude, and you're about to put your efforts to taming him so far to the test. You ready?

Matteo: (drumming his fingers on the table) I don’t know if I can do this, Payton.

Payton: Just do it like we practiced.

Matteo: Okay…. Okay…

(Matteo pulls out his Pokeball. He brings out his Sandshrew. The meanest Pokemon in the game by FAR. The Sandshrew wastes NO time, he immediately dives for Matteo’s fries)

(Matteo doesn’t do anything. Payton's Sneasel, however, leaps into the air and knocks Sandshrew back. Sneasel narrows its eyes and keep its claws out. Sandshrew keeps its distance and hisses at Sneasel)

Payton: Okay, Matteo.

(Matteo gulps and turns to Sandshrew. He wags his finger at the growling animal)

Matteo: … N-nO…. Sit first… THEN you get a french fry.

(Sandshrew gnashes its teeth and hisses in Matteo's direction next)

Matteo: Payton I don’t know if this will work.

Payton: Why not?

Matteo: I can’t tell if it’s sitting or not. Sandshrew’s… crouch, I think.

Payton: Okay that's fair.

Matteo: And it has my fries.

(Payton looks back at Sandshrew. He’s eating Matteo’s fries AND her omelette)

Payton: He has my omelette too! (Payton points) I got that for FREE by faking a conniption over the soda machine! I EARNED that! Avenge it, Sneasel!

(Payton sends out Sneasel to tackle the Sandshrew)

---> Payton: (covered in bruises and scratches with a torn sleeve and a black eye. But she’s holding her omelette) Security had to come split up the fight. I got the last laugh when Sandshrew almost threw a guard off the roof and then got tranq’d, like, eight times. ... (Payton looks at the omelette. It has sand in it) ... Eugh. (throws it away)


=== Girl’s Trailer === (Natalie and Malika are both having some girl chat. Natalie is trying to braid Malika’s hair, but it’s hard to do with only half a head of hair. Natalie struggles the whole time)

Malika: I have a good feeling about today! The Grass Type specialist made it to Celadon City. I think I have a strong chance of coasting by, ya know?

Natalie: You can never be too sure.

Malika: I was thinking of maybe, I dunno… spending some time with Bolin. I really feel like we hit it off last episode. 

Natalie: How so? I mean… how can you really tell with Bolin? He’s always so stoic and… rarely emotional, oh and he's also (bluntly) too old for you, which I cannot stress enough.

(Malika might need that to be more stressed to her more cuz she doesn't pay attention to that)

Malika: Nuh uh. He's not "emotionless". He’s always butting foreheads with you. That's gotta have some emotion behind it.

(Natalie muses in her mind of the thought of butting foreheads with him again… except in a less violent manner and more of a romantic way)

---> Natalie: I’ve come to appreciate Bolin a lot… And I think I’m falling for him… It’s not a crush! … Well, it started being one when Malika told me she had a crush on him too. (Natalie face palms) I can't shut down Malika's crush and then pursue the very person she's crushing on. She's going to think I was just trying to remove her as a threat. She needs to hear it from me, because I'm worried how a rejection would go with Bolin...


(All of a sudden, Zane opens the window and slides into the girl’s trailer)

Zane: Hey friends!

Malika: (nonchalantly) Hey Zane.

Natalie: Z-ZANE! This isn't your trailer! We could have been changing in here!

Zane: We wear the same outfits every day. What’s there to change into?

Natalie: … Touche.

Malika: Yo Zane. Natalie’s struggling with the braids.

(Zane immediately sits next to Natalie and starts masterfully braiding Malika’s hair. Natalie watches in mild amusement)

Zane: So NATALIE! Plan on making any moves with you know who, today? (winks)

Malika: (gasps) NAT! NO WAY! You have a crush too!? Who is it!?

Zane: It’s B-

Natalie: (covers Zane’s mouth) -It’s… um... ... (face lights up) It's Matteo. Y-yeah. Matteo. Everyone was saying how hot he was during our big chat at Lavender Tower. It just… awakened the inner romantic in me. I… have a NEED. A need for Matteo. Yes. Matteo.

(Zane raises an eyebrow)

Malika: (chuckles) Thirst is real. I hear ya, girl.

---> Natalie: (facepalming) What am I doing?


(Suddenly, Amber bursts into the room. Literally a boot to the door)


Zane: (waves to Amber) Hi Amber!

Amber: … (groans) The fact that I can’t get mad at you seriously bothers me.

Zane: I’ll take that as a compliment.

Amber: Of course you will.

Malika: Hey, Amber… how are you handling Ryuma’s elimination? That must have been rough eliminating your own boyfriend.

Natalie: (frowning at Amber) Considering it wasn’t you who got him eliminated in the first place.

Amber: Why, are people suspecting I purposely got him eliminated or somethin?

(The three just stare at her. Nobody wants to answer that. ... People are ACTUALLY suspecting that she purposely eliminated Ryuma. Ouch)

Amber: WOAH HEY!!! HEEEEEY NOW!! I didn’t get him eliminated!!! We were in an alliance AND a relationship! What are you running your mouth off about!?

Natalie: (crosses her arms) It’s just suspicious, alright. Especially since YOU very well could have gotten Ross kicked off as well.


Malika: (waves her arms) MOVING ON!!! (leans against the bed) Soooooo what can you tell us about Ryuuuma? Got anything about Ryuma you can drop on us while he’s not here? (Malika bounces her eyebrows)

Natalie: PG.

Malika: Yup. PG for "Please Gossip" about BOOOOOOYS.

Amber: You wanna talk about boys so much!? (points at Zane) BOY IN THE GIRL'S TRAILER!

(Amber picks Zane up by the back of one of his legs and his collar. She throws him outside of the door. He screams “WEEEE” the whole way)

(Malika and Natalie just look at each other briefly in confusion. Amber turns to look at them. They both raise their hands up in defense, they have nothing to say. Amber nods and leaves... Weird time)




=== Celadon City, Streets === (Chris has called all of the contestants to a small park in the middle of the city. It's a grassy park with a garden surrounding the edges with pristine white fences as well. The city is bustling, and people and city folk pass by with shopping bags galore)

(Everyone is gathered about. Chris makes his announcement)

Chris: Welcome! Final dozen! First thing’s first, I gotta put something out there.

Grace: You already told us about your insurance fraud.

Chris: No not that.

Grace: Your staged marriage?

Chris: Nope.

Grace: Your forged bachelor degree in arts?

Chris: How do you KNOW about that?

Grace: I totally guessed. Did you actually forge a degree?

Chris: MOVING ON. I would like to talk about... (valley girl voice) who I TOTALLY think is going to be a cute couple in this game.


Zane: My bad.

Chris: I'm kidding. Here's some real rocks to chew on. Lately, we’ve been having a lot of… run-ins with Team Rocket.

(Everyone seems to be a little more attentive now)

Chris: Thing is… as DEAD as Team Rocket currently is, they’re still bad news. And while it’s fun watching them get pummeled by you kids… apparently there’s still a “safety threat”, which I personally choose to ignore since you're all applying to become the CHAMPION who should be someone who can handle Team Rocket, but all that aside concerns are conerns. Be on the lookout.

Bud: AHEM.

Chris: Oh right. Bud actually asked around. Apparently, Team Rocket is VERY fixated on following this show, considering we’ve had to chase a few grunts off offscreen a few times. I think it’s because they want to use any and all screentime to promote their return. The issue is… we don’t know how they know where we’re going each and every episode.

Payton: Nobody knows where we’re going each episode?

Chris: Yeah. Only people who are actually working on the show know where we’re going each episode…

(Everyone looks confused, or contemplative)

Chris: So the question is… which one of you is ratting out our locations to Team Rocket?

(Everyone gasps)

Chris: … Kidding. Honestly, we’ve background checked all of you. If it’s anybody, it’s BUD.

Bud: If Team Rocket payed more than you do, then you’re right.

Chris: One of you being a mole. Ha! Imagine that.

(... Well now they all are)

---> Amber: (cracks her knuckles) If Team Rocket tries to take away MY million, I’m gonna CLOBBER them two-fold to make up for Ryuma’s absence … (pause) Honestly, being the champion PAYS. So when I win, I’ll totally split that million with Ryuma. He, um, deserves it after the little roller coaster I put him on. Hehe.

—> Alan: I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with Team Rocket. I know what kind of trails they lead… and everywhere we go, we leave one strikingly similar to theirs. One of them very well could be here among us.

—> Trixie: Wow! One of us could be a traitor? … Gee. We’re all friends at this point, I can’t imagine any of us being on that level of bad-guy-ness. … If only I could read minds. But I’m not quite there yet…. And I promised I wouldn’t do that even if I could.

—> Axel: I call dibs on blaming Ludwig for no discernable reason.

(Amber is cracking her knuckles, not liking the idea of a mole in the game… but then she looks around and notices something. Everyone is looking at HER)

Amber: … What's wrong? Somethin on my face?

Bolin: We’re watching you.

Amber: Um. Duh. So is everyone else with a TV.

Payton: He means we think you’re the mole, Amber. Geez.

Amber: Huh? (genuinely confused) Why?

Grace: It’d make sense if you were the mole. You already sabotaged Ross and Ryuma.

Amber: Now hold on, I never-

Natalie: -It adds up. Ryuma’s strong and Ross is Water. Both are threats.

Axel: (dully) Who’s to say you didn’t sabotage Alice either? She had a type advantage against you too.

Amber: Coincidence! I didn’t do nuthin!

Axel: Sure about that? Maybe you even had an ally. Ludwig perhaps?

Ludwig: What?

(Amber cracks her knuckles and growls at Axel. She's tired of this)

Natalie: That’s not helping your argument, Amber.

Amber: I’m NOT the mole! I don't even LIKE moles! Ground Type sucks!

Payton: You heard it here. She's coming for Matteo next. Burn the witch. (Matteo whimpers and steps back. Payton pats his arm)

Chris: EVERYONE STOP! … You can all ostracize Amber later. So on to the challenge! Follow me!

(For now everyone drops it... )

—> Amber: … Well… that’s not good.


=== Celadon City, Game Corner === (Celadon City is the Grass Type Gym location. A blossoming paradise of natural wonders and organic blessings... so naturally the challenge is held in the city's casino. It's bright, flashy, atmospheric, and filled with slot machines, roulettes, and gamblers galore in this massive thrifty space)

(Ludwig immediately looks terrified. He hugs his Metang. He doesn't have a good past with gambling)

Chris: EVERYONE! This is the Celadon Game Corner! Normally the fine life is worked for and achieved through grit and perceverence… but that’s out the window here! You BUY today’s immunity. You all start with 100 coins, and you work to reach a goal of… … … 100,000 coins!

(Everyone’s jaw drops)

Chris: Yup. And here’s how you win immunity.

(Chris gestures to the center of the game corner)

Chris: This is the Prize Palace. It’s a shack where you can exchange your coins for prizes. But be careful, because some prizes may TEMPT you… so try not to get swayed and buy other things that aren’t, I dunno, IMMUNITY.

Natalie: (raises her hand) So what other prizes are you talking about?

Chris: Oh trust me… Tempting stuff. Here to judge today’s challenge is Celadon City’s gym leader, ERIKA!

(Erika, a black haired, quaint young woman wearing a kimono is sitting at one of the slot machines. She turns and notices everyone is there. She quickly gets out of the seat and whacks the machine with the fan)

Erika: I wasn't enabling this establishment. 

(The fan whack caused her to get three in a row. She won. The back of her dress gets pelted with coins. Erika ignores it and smiles)

Malika: (gasps) WOW! ERIKA!!! My fellow grass girl! I’m probably not your BIGGEST fan but I’m up there!!!

Erika: (bows) Greetings, Malika. (looks at the cast) Now, everyone. You will each be tasked with collecting coins. 100,000 each. There’s only one immunity, and only one of you can have it. The first to acquire 100,000 coins and turn them in at the Prize Palace will win. The two with the lowest amount of coins will be up for elimination. Try not to be tempted by the prizes.

Chris: Thank you, Erika.

Erika: I’m going to leave now.

Chris: Why?

Erika: Because if the cops show up and see you supporting underage gambling I don’t want to be dragged into this mess.

Chris: Erika. Literally EVERYTHING in this region is underaged and illegal. We let kids own DRAGONS by the age of eleven.

Grace: Yeah, honestly Erika, the only rule that needs to be obeyed is Chris and Bud not being allowed to have Pokemon.

(Chris glares daggers at Grace. Bud sniffles)

---> Bud: (grossly sentimental) One day I’ll have you, my sweet Igglybuff.

Chris: Contestants ready? …. GO!!!

Amber: Okay, y’all. If we team up, we can-

(Everyone runs away from Amber like wildfire)

Amber: … OKAY.

(Amber runs off alone)

—> Ludwig: Amber’s the mole. I need to win today so that I don’t end up having to face her anytime soon. Fire beats Steel after all. Don’t need the journal to know that.


(There is a long line of slot machines. Bolin and Malika sit down together. Malika clearly planned that)

Malika: So what’s your game plan?

Bolin: Our Pokemon aren’t even useful today. I have no game plan.

Malika: Sooo… you’re just gonna sit here and get coins from the least strategy-inducing game to secure at the very least a safe and simple spot in the next round?

Bolin: … (nods) I like that idea.

(Malika chuckles as she and Bolin begin working on racking up the prizes on the slot machines)

---> Bolin: Malika’s been very eager to work with me as of recently… (looks casually at his knuckles) Obviously she’s undergoing a “superhero complex” and believes that because I acted heroically in the last challenge during the Lavender Tower haunt that I must be “the one” to her … … Clearly, I’m not a romantic. I’m also not interested in dating a minor. And even if I was interested... I wouldn't be... because there's no exceptions. (Bolin points at the cameras) Don't date minors.


(Natalie is at a roulette table. She is watching Bolin and Malika from afar. She sighs. Suddenly, another ball is rolled into the wheel she's at. She looks up. It’s Zane)

Zane: What’s got you down?

Natalie: Nothing. I’m actually in the midst of picking myself back up.

Zane: From what?

Natalie: Haven't we discussed romantic stuff enough this episode? Isn't it getting old?

Zane: What would you rather have? Fighting and action and a compelling story?

Natalie: Good point. So about my crush. (Natalie sighs) I let my feelings convince me that Bolin was crush-material at Lavender Tower after he … s-so boldly and attractively took charge and led us all, on top of how I wish I could sit down with him and talk for hours about how we feel on Type stigma, and even though I disagree with him, I love hearing his side of the argument and-Oh cripes, Zane. Now I’m down again.

Zane: You just need to know if there’s a chance it’ll happen.

Natalie: … I mean, I don’t really WANT it to happen, I know I’ll be fine-

Zane: -Naaaaaataliiiiiie. Don’t be Natalying.

Natalie: … (sighs) I would appreciate a shot with him but I-

Zane: -NO BUTS! Those are for once you’re already in the relationship. (bounces eyebrows) I’ll go talk to him.

Natalie: Z-ZANE!

(Zane has already walked off. Natalie puts her face in her hands. She groans)


(Grace is currently at a slot machine. She seems to be continuously failing. It buzzes red)

Grace: No! You were TWO cherries! TWO! Just one more! Ugh.

(Grace tries again. Another failure)

Grace: For real?

(Amber walks by. She smiles at Grace getting mad at her machine)

Amber: Yeah, I got a bit of a temper too.

Grace: (stares angrily at Amber) What can I say? You’re contagious, MOLE.

(Amber, who would usually get angry and storm the place, looks down and walks off)

---> Amber: (crosses her arms) So Grace still doesn’t like me… It’s fine. It’s fine. I just kind of wish the only other gay girl in the game would at least wanna be friends with me. … Granted, I pummeled her in Viridian Forest, but back on my farm I got chucked into a well and sucked it up by lunch. And the only MOLES around were the Dugtrios. (Amber looks PISSED) YOU KNOW WHAT! I’m gonna find the REAL mole in this game and snap them in half in front of everyone!

---> Grace: Slot machines… I HATE slot machines. They’re the only machines I can’t control. I don’t rely on luck, I rely on what I can do to things to make them give me what I want so I’m not sitting around pulling a lever all day wasting my time! (Grace blows her hair out of her face in frustration) And Amber doesn’t help. She got all chummy with Ryuma and now he’s gone. Maybe everyone else saw the two as a relationship, but I see right through her. She got him eliminated and if you let her get too close, you’re next.


(Matteo is playing a game of Whack-A-Diglett. Nobody really knows why it’s here, but he’s playing it. Matteo, being lethargic as he is, whacks the spot the Diglett is at a couple seconds AFTER it’s appeared)

Matteo: ….

(Arceus, he’s bad at this. Pan away)


(Ludwig is at a card game. He’s playing with Alan again. There are a couple of other random strangers playing too. None are the gamblers from last episode)

Alan: So what’s the difference between a Mudsdale and a Ledian with two legs? … Not MY sundae!

(Everyone at the table laughs. Ludwig laughs nervously, not understanding what joke has been made)

---> Alan: People fake laugh when gambling all the time. It’s easier than a poker face. So I like to tell jokes that make no sense or aren't funny just to listen to everyone at the table force a laugh. That itself is almost better than the joke.

(Ludwig puts forward a few coins. Another stranger immediately puts down a few cards and takes what Ludwig put forward. Ludwig groans)

---> Ludwig: I think I need my journal again. I can’t focus or think without it! I’m not being strategic, I’m just flailing around hoping for the best! … That is NOT part of the scientific process!

(Trixie comes over and sits down next to Ludwig)

Ludwig: Um… Don’t you have the day off?

Trixie: Let me help you.

Ludwig: How?

(Trixie just pulls up a chair and scoots close to Ludwig)

Stranger: Hey, are you playing?

Trixie: (bats her eyes) No sir, just watching. I’m very interested in… taking chances.

(The strangers bite, hook line and sinker. They let Trixie watch. They nod to one of the guys who shuffles through his cards)

Trixie: (whispers to Ludwig) The man on the end has a three.

Ludwig: … (calls out) Um… Do you have any threes?

(The man’s eyes widen. He groans and hands over a three. Ludwig gets the card and matches it up with one of his. He puts it down)

Ludwig: (whispers to Trixie) Did you… cheat?

Trixie: (winks) Psychic.

---> Trixie: I’m not on mind reader level yet, but I can hear small pings. (winks) The way being a psychic works is that you can only hone in on one kind of psychic ability, and it's predetermined for you. A psychic can only levitate, or read minds, or see the future, and whatnot. Only one. Once you start tapping into your powers, you can feel around all the different kind of methods until you find the one for you. I'm getting there.


(Bolin is now at a shooting gallery. Malika is in the bathroom. Bolin’s guarding her coin stash. Bolin is masterfully hitting all the targets. Balloons FILLED with coins that fall onto a conveyor belt that lead to a bucket for Bolin)

(Zane suddenly rises up in front of Bolin’s gun)

Zane: Hi Bo!

(Bolin holds the gun. Not frightened by Zane’s sudden appearance. He gently moves the gun away)

Bolin: I could have shot you through the forehead.

Zane: Rubber bullets only hurt for a week. Gastly usually licks the wounds away.

Bolin: Shouldn’t ghost licks HURT?

Zane: (shrugs) Humans are technically normal type. It tickles if anything.

Bolin: What do you want?

Zane: I’m just doing some errands for Natalie. The two of us are working together today.

Bolin: Good. Strength in numbers.

Zane: She sent me over here to claim this spot once you’re done. By the looks of it, you’re doing really well!

Bolin: … Thank you.

Zane: Yeah! Natalie actually was the one who pointed that out!

Bolin: … That I’m… good at this?

Zane: Oh yeah. (Zane slides close to Bolin and holds his hand to side of his face as to slyly whisper) You know. She was pretty impressed with your shot. She was too shy to come over here and tell you that herself.

Bolin: … (oddly interested) Why’s that? Natalie’s not a shy person.

Zane: People get… flustered over certain things. (winks)

(Bolin blushes. Then it occurs to him… he’s getting flustered right now. Is that how Natalie’s feeling about… HIM?)

Bolin: … Hmm…

Zane: Well! You keep shooting! I’m off!

(Zane leaps over the counter and runs off. Bolin contemplates what’s been said to him. Moments later, Malika returns. She picks up the other gun)

Malika: I’ve never fired a gun before and my coordination is abysmal, but I’m ready to fail with a grin! Right, Bo?

(Bolin has the gun down. He’s thinking to himself)

Malika: … Bo?

---> Bolin: … Could Natalie… possibly LIKE me? …


(Axel walks onscreen. He waves to the camera)

Axel: Don't worry, no sappy relationship nonsense in THIS scene. Put down your shots, folks.

(Axel walks over to a booth. It’s just a phone booth in the middle of this casino with flashing lights over it. He reads the sign)

Axel: The Money Machine?

(Apparently, you stand inside and it rains money on you)

Axel: Hehe. Don’t mind if I do-

(Payton cuts in front of him and takes the spot in the machine. She closes the door)

Axel: HEY! You’ll pay for that!

Payton: I already apologized to someone the other day, so I’m all good with karma right now.

Axel: Grrrr…

Payton: … (pause) Wait a minute. Do they have dollars in the Game Corner?

Axel: No. Why?

Payton: Then what rains out of the money shower?

(Coins start pelting Payton. She covers her head and yelps)

Payton: OW! OW ! OW! OW! OW! OWW!!

(Axel just starts laughing and pointing. Payton is trying to get out of the money shower, but it’s locked until the session is over)


(Axel is on the ground laughing. It’s the most expressive we’ve seen Axel yet)


(Malika is walking over to a slot machine. She begins pulling the lever. She sighs)

Malika: Today’s… uneventful.

(DING DING DING. Cherry, Cherry, Cherry. Malika got all three, and it’s a JACKPOT)

Malika: OH MY GOSH!!!


(A fist flies through Malika’s machine. The fist dwindles in front of her fast. It goes back in the machine. Malika peers through the hole. Amber is on the other side)

Amber: … … (blinks) … …

(Amber was playing on the other side of the table and punched through TWO slot machines in frustration)

Malika: …

Amber: Um…

Malika: …

Amber: … Oops?

Malika: (groans) Uuuuggghhh. (puts her hands on her face) Aye aye aye. This challenge.

Amber: Tell me about it.

Malika: I don’t need to talk to you to know how you feel about this challenge, Amber. I just witnessed you punching through TWO slot machines. (pause) … Say, do you wanna work together? Just to get through this round. I’m not digging this luck based challenge.

Amber: (a little shocked by this offer) … Forreal? … B-but… Everyone thinks I’m the mole.

Malika: I doubt there’s really a mole at all. Chris and Bud would have prevented that. I mean… we’re all friends at this point, how can one of us be a mole for Team Rocket? None of us would FAKE being friends, right?

Amber: … That’s naive but sure.

---> Amber: Ryuma, so far, has been the only person in this game who’s ever wanted to even work with me… So, um… Malika’s really throwing me for a loop here.

Malika: Great!

Amber: One question first on top of being suspected as the mole… I’m FIRE type. You’re GRASS type. I could smoke you. What’s your angle?

Malika: Angle?

Amber: Ulterior motive. I ain’t a sucker.

Malika: Oh those? I have lots. I wanna ally with you because I wanna survive today, I wanna hear the juicy gossip about Ryuma’s love life and I wanna make Bolin jealous that I’m not hanging out with him.

Amber: … …. Alright then!

(Amber shrugs. She walks around, followed by Malika)

---> Amber: Malika’s got spunk. I like her! … AND she’s the only lass here who doesn’t think I’m pure evil or whatever hullabaloo is floatin ‘round. I’ll take what I can get.


(Natalie is at a roulette machine. She’s spinning the wheel. Suddenly, Zane comes back. He sits on the edge of the wheel to talk to Natalie, but gets spun around with it. He flails off and hits the ground. He “smoothly” gets back up)

Zane: I’m back to indulge even MORE romantic spiel.

Natalie: Where'd you come from?

Zane: Just having some bro talk with Brolin. You know, he said some interesting things about you.

(Natalie immediately grabs Zane and pulls him underneath the roulette table. They talk in secrecy)

Natalie: What’d he say about me?

Zane: He just thinks you’re really independant, really cool, kind of hot, really-

Natalie: (punches Zane’s shoulder) No way! He said that?

Zane: Yup! I was as shocked as you are! Maybe you two should talk!

Natalie: … Maybe we sho-

(Natalie stands up and SLAMS her head on the bottom of the table. She yells. Suddenly. A DING DING DING sound occurs. Natalie got a LOT of coins from that. The ball landed in the right slot because of hitting her head)

Natalie: (rubbing her head) Hehe…

---> Zane: I may have twisted the truth a LITTLE bit… BUT THOSE TWO ARE GONNA BE SO CUTE!
---> Chris: (pokes his head into the interview nook) PLEASE! There's too much ROMANCE in this season right now! YOU NEED TO STOP!
---> Zane: Never.


(Grace is groaning as she uses up her FINAL coin. The wheels spins… and the slot machine gives her nothing)

Grace: …

(Grace pulls out her Pokeball. She releases Magnemite. It buzzes and beeps at her)

Grace: … Hmmm…

(Grace sneakily has the Magnemite go to the back of the machine. It attaches itself to the back. Grace puts in a coin lying on the ground. The machines goes again)

(Magnemite whirs and adjusts. ... Grace cheats. Grace hits the jackpot from that)

Grace: !!!! YES!!!!

(The coins start spewing out of the machine. Grace cheers and claims her prizes)


(About a half hour later, the cast is going wild in all locations in the casino. The gym leader, Erika, returns and walks in the middle of the game corner. She gently whispers)

Erika: Oh contestants~ …

(None respond)

Erika: …

(Erika pulls out an air horn and blasts it. Everyone looks at her, even people who aren't in the game)

Erika:  … Today we have a special treat… Unfortunately, it’s another temptation, but a treat all the same. You can either use your 100,000 coins to purchase immunity… OR… you could buy… this…

(Erika removes a small brown fox from her robes. It yawns, practically a squeak. It has a tuft of fur underneath its head. Everyone crowds around it and gasps)



(Everyone looks at Malika)

Malika: IT’S! (camera zooms in) SO! (intense zoom) CUTE!!!!

Erika: The winner of the Eevee will also receive the evolutionary stone required to evolve it. That includes fragments of Moss Rocks, Ice Rocks, Fire, Thunder, Water stones. Soothe Bell and a massage to instantly evolve it to Espeon or Umbreon, and required nutritions for a Sylveon. But it can only go to a player whose type aligns with one of Eevee’s evolutions.

(Erika walks away. But she’s immediately followed by the following… )

(Malika, Amber, Grace, Alan and Trixie. They all want that Eeevee)

(Amber grabs Malika’s shoulder)

Amber: Look, I don’t know about you, but I want that Eevee. We’ll save up enough coins to collectively buy it, and then we can flip a coin to see who gets it.

Malika: (nodding her head viciously) YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!!! I LIKE THAT!!!

(Amber ushers Malika away, rolling her eyes and smiling)

---> Amber: Malika’s like a lil sister. … … Which is weird because I don’t have any sisters so I don't have any clue what havin a sister would even be like. Girls are pretty much just boys but less whiny.


(Axel walks up to the Prize Palace stand. There’s an employee there)

Axel: Hi. I’d like to use as many coins as it’d take to buy a large bag of popcorn.

(The stand employee hands him a bag of toasty popcorn)

Employee: Why though?

Axel: Some girl’s trapped in the Money Machine and it’s hilarious.

Employee: … Dude. (fist bumps Axel) We’ve been meaning to get rid of that thing.

Axel: Please DON’T.

(Axel walks off)


(Payton is still getting pelted in the machine. She’s yelling the whole time. Axel sits down and watches her)


Axel: By the way. They’re giving out an Eevee right now.

Payton: … WHAT!?!?!?! OW!!! I WANT THAT!! OW!!! LET ME OW !!! NOOOOOO!!!!

---> Payton: (covered in bumps) Okay THAT counts as my karma for the hotness list. (yells upward) Am I off the hook now!?


=== Erika’s Eevee Giveaway === (Erika sits down at a circular table. She hands out cards to everyone. A new game of Go Fish begins. Alan, Grace, Trixie, Malika and Amber are there)

Erika: The winner of this game receives 50,000 coins.

(Everyone smiles widely. They want that money. They want that EEVEE. Eevee is literally curled up in the center of the table, quietly napping)

Malika: (practically foaming at the mouth) SO… CUTE!!! … LOOK AT ITS LIL NUBBIN! IT’S SQUOOSH! THE … THE PIP PAPS!! LOOKIT!!!

(Eeeve nuzzles the table)

Malika: (nonsensically screaming due to Eevee’s cuteness overloard) EEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Amber: (trying to gently convince Malika that SHE should have the Eevee) Imagine how much cuter it’d be spewing fireballs! Or being able to warm itself without even sitting on your lap?

Malika: Why would you NOT want it on your lap!? Let me LEAF IT! (Malika is practically begging) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me have it!

Erika: You need to win first.

(Amber takes Malika’s shoulder and sits her firmly down in her chair)

Amber: Keep it together, Mally. (Malika is hyperventilating)

Grace: At least Go Fish isn’t based on luck. I’ll finally be getting somewhere.

Trixie: You’d have to beat us all first. (Trixie winks at Grace)

(Trixie and Grace are in an alliance. They have each other’s back. They won’t gang up on each other during this game)

Alan: (shuffles the deck) Can we start?

(Malika is hyperventilating, being unable to focus with the EEVEE right there on the table. She occasionally reaches for it just to have Erika slap her hand)


(Matteo is looking out the window of the Game Corner. He’s currently pulling tiny slot machine toys off of shelves and using them. They give candy instead of coins. He eats them)

(Matteo notices some suspicious figures outside. He shrugs and keeps playing)


=== Celadon City, Game Corner, Prize Palace === (Axel is at the prize palace station again)

Axel: Hey. I’m back.

Prize Palace Employee: OOOH! Here to check your progress!? Or… BE TEMPTED!? Because have WE got something for YOU! You see, you COULD buy immunity… or you could buy BLACK STUDDED LEGWARMERS! Edgy, right?

Axel: … In what world are black studded legwarmers edgy?

Prize Palace Employee: You could have tinted sunglasses.

Axel: Those are just sunglasses.

Prize Palace Employee: A hat from Alola.

Axel: That’s a rubber glove.

Prize Palace Employee: A Gladion wig.

Axel: … Okay. That’s edgy looking, but who’s Gladion?

Prize Palace Employee: (groans) UGH! I don’t know what’s “edgy”! I can’t tempt you with anything!

Axel: Got another bag of popcorn?

(The man hands him more popcorn. Axel wanders off)


(Ludwig has a LOT of money from Trixie helping him out with the gambling game. After a few more lucky wins, Ludwig walks over to the Employee)

Ludwig: (places a few buckets onto the counter, all full of coins) 100,000 coins. I’ll be taking the immunity.

(The Palace Prize Employee starts counting them all)

Prize Palace Employee: … Wow… You really have it all. Nice!

Ludwig: Immunity please.

Prize Palace Employee: Are you sure you don’t want this… (pulls out a large metal box) Science kit?

Ludwig: What? No.

Prize Palace Employee: It comes with a circuit board and a chemistry set.

Ludwig: I have one at home.

Prize Palace Employee: You can use it to dissolve large edible objects.

Ludwig: Why would I need to-

Prize Palace Employee: -Like pies.

Ludwig: ... Was all rhe other stuff you said about it ALSO true? (The employee nods) ... I’LL TAKE IT.

(Ludwig wastes his money buying a chemistry set)

Ludwig: … DANG IT!

(Ludwig blew his money... but at least he has a chemistry kit now! ... )


=== Erika’s Eeevee Giveaway === (Erika is hosting a game of Go Fish. So far, Trixie’s been sweeping due to her psychic abilities. Amber starts to get flustered)

Amber: Anyone notice how the PSYCHIC type keeps winning!? Are your Pokemon out of their balls right now!?

Trixie: (holds up two pokeballs) Kadabra and Espurr are sealed tight.

Amber: Well are YOU doing something, cuz clearly you’re CHEATING! ALSO DON'T YOU ALREADY HAVE IMMUNITY!?!?

Grace: Amber. Relax.

Amber: I will do that... NEVER.

Grace: Why don't you cool it. You’ve been cheating at this game since the start. Ross and Ryuma, remember?

Amber: I am NOT A-... (Amber clenches her fists and growls at Grace)

(Amber quiets down and keeps playing, gaining a control over her temper, not wanting to lose it on Grace even though she's prodding her)

---> Trixie: Grace is that friend you can always rely on for physical assistance. While I can’t have any “girl talk” with her, I can always rely on her to bust a few kneecaps for me and cover my tracks… (pause) … Oh my god, are we the season bad guys?
---> Chris: (pokes his head in the confessional) Naw. Y’all are just crafty.
---> Trixie: …
---> Chris: Leaving. (leaves)

(Alan appears to be… suspicious as well. He grumbles aloud to himself)

(Matteo walks over. He’s using a finger to pick his ears)

Matteo: Hey guys. Whatcha up to?

Alan: We’re playing Go Fish for an Eevee. My opponents are... insightful, to say the least.

Matteo: Dang. (picks his hearing aid ear. The hearing aid is wobbling about humorously) Sorry to hear that.

Amber: (looking at the hearing aid) … DID you hear anything?

Matteo: … I heard a uhhhhh mole talking just now.


(Grace offers Matteo a high. Matteo lazily high fives it with a derpy smile. Matteo walks away)

Grace: HAHA! Awesome.

(Amber throws her hands in the air in frustration. Malika is drooling over the adorableness that is Eevee. Her head is slumped onto the table. Trixie, Grace and Alan are concerned)


(Natalie is still at the Roulette wheel. Bolin approaches. Both faintly blush just being in each other's presence)

Natalie: B-Bolin! … Whare you-

Bolin: -How many coins do you have?

(Oh. He only came over to check her progress)

Natalie: … I’m at 80,000, where are you?

Bolin: Same, actually.

Natalie: (tries to lighten the mood) I’m surprised I’m keeping up. You know. What with how “weak” me and my Pokemon are.

(Natalie chuckles. Bolin doesn’t)

Bolin: … ….

---> Bolin: (arms crossed) … I don’t know why I’m pursuing this… But I’m just… (thinks out loud) Maybe I’m just curious to see. I want to know what she sees in me without blatantly asking.

Natalie: … (clears her throat) Y-yeah.

Bolin: I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings before.

Natalie: (looks surprised at Bolin’s confession) … H-Honestly, I’ve heard worse. You’re fine.

Bolin: But you shouldn’t have to. You’re strong and… … … (changes the subject) Can I play?

Natalie: … (smiles) Sure.

(Bolin plays the roulette machine with her. The two are side by side. Zane watches from a distance)

---> Bolin: Zane told me Natalie liked me… but I wasn’t picking up any vibes… Perhaps Zane was just looking too far into the matter. He tends to do that.

---> Natalie: Zane said Bolin liked me… but… Bolin didn’t say anything to me. … (pauses) …

---> Zane: Now for phase 2!
---> Chris: (bursts in) ENOUGH!!!
---> Zane: (cackles and leaps over him)
---> Chris: AAAHHHHH!!!



Chapter Text

REGION TROTTERS: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 8

Alan (DARK), Axel (POISON), Bolin (FLYING), Ludwig (STEEL), Matteo (GROUND), Zane (GHOST)

Amber (FIRE), Grace (ELECTRIC), Malika (GRASS), Natalie (BUG), Payton (ICE), Trixie (PSYCHIC)


(The cast is currently trying to earn 100,000 coins at the Game Corner in order to win immunity, or buy a temptation or an Eevee)


=== Erika’s Eevee Giveaway === (Erika is hosting her own card game in order to help people reach their coin goal faster and potentially but an Eevee. Trixie, Alan, Amber, Grace and Malika are present. Everyone is frustrated over how poorly they’re doing. Trixie is SWEEPING due to her soon-to-no-longer-be-dormant psychic abilities)

Erika: So... At this point, who has enough to buy the Eevee?

(Alan and Trixie raise their hands. Amber kicks the floor in anger. Malika is internally screaming)

Erika: You’ll have to take your coins to the Prize Palace in order to claim it… Now before we continue, would you all like to make pleas for the Eevee? Try and convince the others to let YOU have it.

(Amber stands up)

Amber: Yeah, give me the Eevee or I’ll literally fight you.

(Amber sits down)

Erika: … Okay. Alan. Your turn.

Alan: (shrugs) I’m blind. If the sympathy doesn’t cut it for you, then maybe this will. I would like to train it as an Umbreon and make it my new personal seeing-eye-Pokemon. Since Murkrow’s evolved, he can’t sit on my shoulder anymore.

Amber: Isn’t that still sympathy?

Alan: No. It’s a plea of convenience and it's more than fair. ... Amber you are just... a bad person. (shakes his head) For shame.

Erika: Grace. Your turn.

Grace: … (shakes her head) I just really want a Jolteon, man. Eevee is the absolute best. They’re so rare… And I need one. My main Pokemon is a ROBOT, guys. It can emotionally connect with me to an extent.

Erika: Malika?

(Malika pulls down a chart from seemingly nowhere. She has reading glasses and a vest on. She looks like a professor)

Malika: (the chart shows a picture of Eevee) Here’s a bit about Eevee you all probably don’t know. (Malika points to its nose) This is its snifflet. It’s dainty, but snifftastic. What do you want it smelling? Smoke?! (gestures to Amber) Car oil? (gestures to Grace) No. It needs to smell FLOWERS. And then it needs to roll around them like a big doofy leaf baby. It’s … (Malika starts to tear up) I … I LOVE IT… PLEASE LET ME HAVE IT!!!

(Malika sits down and proceeds to cry)

Erika: (to Trixie) And you?

Trixie: … Malika’s was pretty convincing-

(Axel casually walks over to everyone)

Axel: Hey, um… Team Rocket’s here, and I kind of don’t wanna fight them myself. I’m not asking because any of us are friends, I’m just trying to be smart about this-

Erika: -What? Team Rocket?

Axel: Oh yeah. I should probably sound more panicked about that. So Team Rocket was outside and Matteo saw them, turned to me and said "I'm gonna go assert my dominance" because of something to do with his Sandshrew and then he walked out and wagged a finger... I think that's all he did. He didn't even say anything, he just wagged a finger then got jumped.

(Everyone gasps)

Axel: So yea, Team Rocket just grabbed Matteo and dragged him away.


Axel: Dramatic buildup.

Erika: … (Erika handles this very differently) … Everyone. We need to go.

Amber: (stands up) Time to prove I’m NOT the mole!

Grace: Oh SHUT IT!

(Amber resists the urge to snap Grace’ neck. They all stand up and follow Axel to where Team Rocket is… )


(Hehehe. Alan is alone with the EEVEE. Alan smirks and picks up his buckets. He reaches over to pet the Eevee)

Alan: I’ll be right back for you.

(But instead of petting Eevee… he pets… a smooth, fleshy surface. It’s kinda scraggy)

Alan: … What am I touching?

(He’s petting the bald side of Malika’s head. She is hugging the Eevee and curled into a little ball on the table. Alan’s not alone after all. He and Malika stuck behind)

Malika: Please don’t take him.

Alan: He’s mine and I earned him, little girl. Be profiessional.

Malika: Trixie earned him too.

Alan: She won at Lavender Town. That was her turn and now it's mine. I have enough coins to purchase the Eevee and that's what I'm going to do.

Malika: (lets go of the Eevee) PLEASE don’t go to the Prize Palace and buy him!

(Alan starts ignoring her. He picks up the Eevee and begins walking. His Honchkrow is out of its ball, leaning forward so he doesn't bump into anything)

Malika: N-NO!

(Alan feels significant weight on his leg. Malika is hugging it)

Alan: … This won’t slow me down.

Malika: (sobbing into Alan’s leg) PLEASE LET ME HAVE THE EEVEE!!! IT’S SO CUTE!!!

Alan: No.

(Alan tries walking, but Malika is in fact slowing him down)


(Zane is at the Prize Palace. Everyone is running by to go save Matteo. Zane is unaware of what’s happening)

Zane: Axel! Hey! What’s going on?

(Axel runs to Zane)

Axel: Um… Nothing. Stay pure. (looks to the employee) Another popcorn, please. (slams a few coins on the table. The man takes it and gives Axel popcorn)

Zane: Can I have some?

(In a hurry, Axel takes a handful of popcorn and shoves them into Zane’s mouth)

Axel: Be happy. Stay healthy. Be safe. BYE!

(Axel runs after the others)

Zane: … (turns to the employee with his mouth full) I lifth tho mae ah purtchisth pleashe.

(The employee just looks bewildered)




=== Celadaon City Streets === (Outside, on this beautiful day, there is a small park located outside of the Game Corner. It’s filled with benches and flowers and a small pond)

(Axel, Ludwig, Amber, Trixie, Grace, Erika, Natalie and Bolin all rush to the park. They gasp at what they see)

(Matteo is curled on the ground, sniffling loudly. A Weezing floats over him. His Sandshrew hisses while being pinned down by a Hitmonchan. Three grunts, one girl and two guys, spot the cast rushing over to them)

Erika: Team Rocket!

Female Grunt: (turns to see the cast) Well well well. And you guys call yourselves the "catatstrophes". Title's taken.

Erika: Let him go. He hasn’t done anything to you.

Ludwig: Matteo! Are you okay!?

Natalie: Pick on someone your own size!

Rocket Grunt #1: So that’s how it’s gonna be, huh? You decide to take us seriously once we threaten the life of one of your big pals, huh?

Rocket Grunt #2: That’s exactly what we planned, Dale.

Rocket Grunt #1: You're right.

Grace: (steps forward. Impulsively challenging Team Rocket) Your organization has been dead for YEARS. This isn’t even the first time you’ve tried making a comeback and FAILED.

Bolin: Everybody knows about Rocket’s big flop at the Radio Tower.

Natalie: You were beaten by ONE kid… TWICE.

Erika: What makes you think you can beat an entire horde of them? (raises an eyebrow and smirks as all of the contestants present enter a battle stance)

(Axel sends out Ekans. Natalie sends out Anorith. Ludwig sends out Metang. Bolin sends out Zubat. Trixie sends out Kadabra. Amber sends out Vulpix)

(Grace feels around in her pockets)

Grace: … (mumbles) … Magnemite.


(Meanwhile Grace’s Magnemite is STILL messing with the slot machine at the Game Corner and making it flood coins out of it. It’s beeping in celebration)


(Grace has no Pokemon to battle with. She hesitantly steps back)

(Bud and Chris rush to the area. They step in before a battle ensues between the cast and Team Rocket)

Chris: WAIT! NO!!! 


(The Rocket’s Weezing immediately blasts Bud with poisonous gas. Bud coughs and falls over)

Bud: This wouldn’t have happened if… I had … an Igglybuff… (cough) and a decent childhood to help me make better life choices in the future ... (passes out)


(Chris just screams and runs down the Celadon streets. He occasionally window shops before running again)

Erika: Weepinbell, GO-

(Bolin gently moves Erika back)

Bolin: We have this covered, m’am. (Erika shrugs and steps away. Bolin yells and turns) POKEMON, ATTACK!

(Natalie smirks at Bolin taking charge again. There we go. Fresh reminder as to why she digs him. She prepares for battle as well)

Axel: You know it's not too late to go find Zane and talk more about the relationships in this game-

Everyone: NO!!!


(CATASTROPHE CAST vs TEAM ROCKET - Battle #1 . Objective: Save Matteo)

(Team Rocket all laugh at this resistance. They summon their own Pokemon. Hitmonlee, Weezing, and the female grunt sends out TWO Pokemon)

(Hitmonlee, Weezing, Graveler and Golbat. Hitmonlee is a lankey fighting Pokemon with long legs to kick. Weezing is a floating crumbled balloon with toxic gas pooling from it. Golbat is a large bat with a gaping maw. Graveler is a hefty rock with four arms)

Bolin: Zubat! Supersonic!

(Zubat shoots a soundwave from its ears that reaches out to the enemies. Golem and Golbat evade the blast. Weezing gets hit by it. Hitmonlee rushes forward and gets hit too)

(Weezing immediately hurts itself in confusion, but Hitmonlee performs a high jump kick that smacks dab into Zubat. Zubat goes flying. Bolin grunts in anger)

Bolin: Useless bat.

Natalie: (pulls out another Pokeball) Oh NO you don’t! Butterfree! WING ATTACK!

(Butterfree leaves her Pokeball and soars effortlessly at Hitmonlee. It sees the Butterfree ahead of time and kicks at it. Butterfree evades and successfully makes the creature stumble back)

Bolin: … Well, the Butterfree’s okay, I guess. (Natalie laughs haughtily)

Axel: Ekans! Keep that thing busy and use Bind!

(Ekans wraps around Hitmonlee, tying itself around its legs like a ribbon. Hitmonlee falls on its face)

Natalie: Thanks, Axel!

Axel: Shut up, Bug Type…

(Bolin cracks his knuckles, frustrated with Axel’s incredibly aggressive reply. Natalie smirks at this)

Axel: … I mean “you’re welcome” or whatever. Force of habit.

Female Grunt #1: Golbat! Use CRUNCH! Graveler, ROLLOUT!

(Vulpix currently has Golbat pinned down on the ground. Vulpix is about to shoot fire into its mouth… until Golbat tries to take a HUGE bite out of it. Vulpix leaps back … and gets STEAMROLLED by Graveler. Vulpix coughs. Amber cringes)

Amber: HEY!

(Graveler is still rolling around. Weezing is floating aimlessly in the air. Anorith is crawling around, evading getting hit by Graveler)

Natalie: Anorith, use SMACK DOWN!

(Metang swings itself like a bat for Natalie’s Anorith. It hits the rolling Graveler and sends it in Anorith’s direction. Ludwig gives Natalie a thumbs up)

(Anorith gorgeously leaps into the air and pile drives WEEZING down onto the ground right on top of Graveler, ending his Rollout)

?????: Sandshrew! Magnitude!

(Suddenly, Anorith leaps into Natalie’s arms. Everyone steps back as the ground around Graveler and Weezing shakes violently. They thrash and clonk against each other. They’re instantly knocked out)

(The one who made the call was Matteo. He looks shocked that it worked. His Sandshrew managed to get free too. The grunts are still holding Matteo hostage. Everyone cheers for Matteo until…)

Female Grunt: Shut up!


(The Female Grunt smacks Matteo across the face to shut him up. This get more intense)

(After more commands from both sides, the battle heats up)

(Hitmonlee tries breaking out of Ekans Bind. Kadabra uses Disable to prevent the Hitmonlee from using its strongest move. It wiggles helplessly)

(Golbat swoops down and knocks Amber’s Vulpix aside when it finally gets back up. Anorith leaps onto the Golbat as it does so. Anorith uses Smack Down again to pile drive the bat into the sidewalk pavement. Everyone cringes)

(The Golbat flies back up, just in time for this…)

Ludwig: TAKE DOWN!

(Metang absolutely PLOWS into Golbat. Golbat’s out)


(The grunts are watching this madness go down. They continue to keep Matteo behind them. He looks frightened and miserable)

Female Grunt: I hate kids…

Team Rocket Grunt #1: This bunch is well into their teens.

Female Grunt: I never said I didn’t hate teens either.

(Bolin’s Zubat is back, and it rises surprisingly in front of the female Rocket grunt. It uses Screech and causes her to trip and fall backwards. Matteo has an opening)

Everyone: MATTEO, RUN!!!

Matteo: …

(He can’t hear them. His hearing aid is gone)

Grace: Oh for pete’s sake!

(Grace runs over herself to help Matteo. The two male grunts get in her way)

Grace: Pete sake to you too!

(Grace kicks one in the leg. But the other one grabs her. He puts Grace in a headlock. She’s not strong enough to fight him off)

Amber: OH NO YOU DON’T!! Would a mole working for Team Rocket do THIS!!!

(Amber leaps into the air and does her own High Jump kick. The Rocket grunt ducks and Amber sails over his head)

Amber: I’M NOT HAVIN IT!!! (crashes offscreen)

(Luckily, the female grunt gets up in time to have her face kicked directly by Amber’s soaring boots. Kablamed)

(The Rocket Grunt holding Grace stands back up and laughs)

Team Rocket Grunt: You think THAT would work!?

(Suddenly, Kadabra rises in front of the Rocket Grunt. It holds a spoon and leers at him)

Team Rocket Grunt: What are you gonna with that? Feed me cereal?

(The Kadabra chucks the spoon at his forehead. He looks confused… but his guard is down)

Grace: Cereal’s not on the menu, but knuckle sandwhiches are.

(Grace punches the grunt in the nose. The other grunt gets back up after getting kicked by Grace)

Team Rocket Grunt #2: I’M BACK!

Amber: SO AM I!!!

(He gets high jump kicked by Amber too. She made another running start after her previous failure)

Grace: … (shrugs) It’s a start, Amber.

(Grace runs over and grabs Matteo. She pulls him over to the others. The poor lummox. Bolin, Axel, Natalie, Trixie, Amber, Grace and Matteo all stare coldly at the Rocket Grunts. The three get up and scold the contestants)

(Axel’s Ekans releases the Hitmonlee. It does weak backflips back to its owner)

Team Rocket Grunt #2: YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF US! Team Rocket is back, and you’ll all KNOW IT! You’ll take us seriously! Just you wait!

Team Rocket Grunt #1: Your days are NUMBERED!

(They run off. Battle Over)


(The cast celebrates. Trixie and Ludwig console Matteo, who still looks shaken up from the incident. Axel and Ludwig almost high five, but Axel denies it. Ludwig gives him a look that says “seriously?”)

(Amber and Grace hug and jump in the air. Grace then remembers she doesn’t like Amber and pushes her away. Amber enjoyed that, though)

(Bolin and Natalie’s hug is the most prominent. He picks her up completely and spins her in the air. This is the happiest we’ve seen Bolin. Natalie is giggling and laughing as well)

(Bud is vomitting, but nobody cares, cuz his food makes them vomit anyway)

(Chris is still running, wherever he is)

Erika: (clapping) That was wonderful! Great job, everyone!

(Suddenly, a few of their Pokemon start… glowing… The cast gasps. They watch as some of their Pokemon start to shine brightly and turn into their next evolutions)

(*Evolution music* Zubat’s transformation… dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun… Zubat has evolved)

(*Evolution music* Ekan’s transformation… dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun… Ekans has evolved)

(*Evolution music* Sandshrew’s transformation… dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN DUN dun… Sandshrew has evolved)

(Axel’s EKANS. Bolin’s ZUBAT. Matteo’s SANDSHREW. They all turn brighter shades until they’re completely white. Their forms split and they each grow more powerful and bigger. They cease and the light dissipates)

(Ekans is now a larger cobra with a wide flap of a neck with intimidating designs on it. It’s an ARBOK now)

(Sandshrew is no longer smooth, but bigger and spikier. It has razor sharp claws, but the same hollow eyes. It’s a SANDSLASH now)

(Zubat turns into the Golbat monster they just fought. Zubat is the pre-evolution to it. And now Bolin has one)

Bolin: (holds his arm out. Golbat perches and screeches merrily at him. Bolin smiles) … Strong screamer.

Natalie: (smirks) And he’ll only get stronger.

(Bolin smiles but rolls his eyes. Natalie's making her point)


(Axel is rolling on the ground with his Arbok, who is MUCH bigger and no longer able to be merely held by him. Axel is laughing and ecstatic)

Axel: HAHA STOP HAHA STOP!!! HAHA I’M EXCITED TOO!!! HAHA-(deadly serious) Stop making me laugh in public.

(The Arbok obediently stops)


(Matteo walks over to Sandslash. Grace is by his side)

Matteo: … I let my guard down today and we both got swiped… but maybe we connected…

Grace: (to Sandslash) And maybe you evolving is a sign that you’ve grown past disobeying your trainer and being excessively violent.

Matteo: (smiles and holds his arms open for his Sandslash) So… what do you say?

(Sandslash merely stares at Matteo and Grace) ….. (It swings its claws and then trots away, snickering it itself)

Matteo: …

(Matteo’s pants fall into shreds. He’s missing a pant leg now)

Grace: …

---> Grace: It takes a new level of stubbornness to be KIDNAPPED and actively not learn anything.

Erika: Wonderful, everyone! Just wonderful! Now, let’s hurry back indoors before they bring more backup… Celadon has had its history of housing Rocket bases.

(They all rush back to the Game Corner)


=== Game Corner, Prize Palace === (Alan is STILL trying to make his way to the Party Palace desk. Malika is grasping his leg, making him move at a snail’s pace)


Alan: (growing angry) For the last time! I worked for it. IT’S. MY. RIGHT-

(SLAM. Alan gasps in horror at the sound. It’s the sound of… another person slamming their bucket down on the desk before he can)

Trixie: (has placed the buckets down. The ones she won) One Eevee please. (Grace walks over to her with her own stack of buckets. Grace places them down too)

Grace: And one immunity for me, please.

(Trixie and Grace high five. Eeevee and immunity CLAIMED)

(Alan falls to his knees)

Alan: No! This isn’t fair!

Prize Palace Employee: Life’s not fair.

(Alan slams his fist on the counter and yells)


Prize Palace Employee: I see your point. Lucky for you, I can’t accept anything from this girl. (points to Trixie)

Trixie: What?

Prize Palace Employee: You’re not in the challenge. You have immunity. You’re not registered to accept prizes from me. I can’t accept your coins.

Alan: (calm again) Then that’s that. I’ll take the Eevee, then. (slams his OWN bucket down on the counter) Sorry, ladies. Business.


Trixie: WAIT! I can give my coins to someone else!

Prize Palace Employee: … I mean… yes, you can.

Trixie: I give GRACE my coins. She gets the Eevee.

Grace: YES!

Alan: NO!

(Grace has the Eevee. Malika is crying right now. Grace looks at Alan and Malika, both are defeated. Grace sighs and kneels down, since Malika has pulled Alan to the floor)

Grace: (sighs) … Hey, Alan. Sorry for ragging on your hard work today. You still have your coins. You can buy immunity.

(Grace pushes her coins off of the counter and causes them to spill all over the floor)

---> Grace: Magnemite and I cheated to get all of the coins anyway… Soooo I wasn’t gonna give Chris ammo to send me home. Alan deserves it anyway.

Prize Palace Employee: (mumbles) I’m gonna have to clean that up.

Grace: Immunity is yours, Alan.

Alan: … … … (sighs) … … … … Take care of that Eevee. All of us who wanted it will be watching you.

Malika: (stands up) Can I take it for walks!? And brush it in the morning!? And kiss its nose! And play with its paws! And-

Grace: -Malika. He’s yours every morning until one of us goes home.

(Malika screams in delight and hugs Grace)

Party Palace Employee: AND here is your complementary Thunder Stone.

(The Party Palace Employee gives Grace the Thunderstone. She smirks and lightly boops it against Eevee’s nose. The creature glows brightly as the scene transitions)


=== Girl’s Trailers === (Amber and Grace come back from the challenge. They’re tired. Amber flops onto her bed. Grace walks to the bathroom. Trailing behind her is a happy little puppy that has large spiky yellow fury and sharp angles for ears. It yips and runs in circles. It’s a JOLTEON. Eevee was turned into one by the stone)

Amber: Dang that thing’s cute…

Grace: Oh yeah. Trixie’s a champ.

(There’s an awkward moment between the two)

Grace: … Hey you saved me today, you know.

Amber: Yup… (sits up in her bed)

Grace: … … … Thanks.

(Grace enters the bathroom. Amber smiles. She’s all alone)

---> Grace: Amber kicked a Rocket grunt in the face… So… She’s probably NOT the mole... Unless that whole thing was an elaborate settup to clear her name, but... (Grace scratches her head) That'd be a lot for a grunt to agree to.

Amber: (stands up and looks at Jolteon, who is sitting on the floor, happily panting) … You know… You’re not the only cool pup with a stone.

(Amber reveals … a FIRE STONE)

Amber: When Alan claimed immunity, I spent a few coins buyin THIS. Let’s just say… my Vulpix wasn’t on top of his game today. So instead of taking the weak out of my Vulpix…

(She brings out her Pokeball and summons Vulpix. Vulpix barks happily at Jolteon. The two bark at each other before Amber kneels and pushes her Fire Stone onto Vulpix)

Amber: I’ll take the Vulpix out of Vulpix.

(Vulpix glows. Its form shifts and it becomes something new. It turns into a creature that’s leaner, taller, and has larger tails. Nine to be exact. NINETALES. Remaining chipper, the two small dog/fox-like creatures tackle one another gleefully)

Amber: (tips her hat) Welcome to the team, Ninetales.

????: Awww. That’s nice!

(Amber flails in surprise and lands on her bed. ZANE is placing a wrapped present on Natalie’s bed)

Amber: I have so many questions so I’m just gonna say “WHAT”

Zane: (puts his finger to his lips) Don’t tell Natalie I put this here.

(Amber looks at the wrapped present on Natalie’s bed)

Amber: … Okay. Deal.

Zane: So. You said you had questions. What’s up?

Amber: Oh I don’t have any more questions. I’m just gonna kick you out now.

Zane: Well that’s-

(Amber literally repeats what she did this morning and thrusts Zane out the window of the trailer. He screams “WEEE” the whole time)


=== Outside Trailers === (Axel walks by and notices Zane lying on the ground outside the girl’s trailer window. He's sitting amongst some flowers. Zane looks absolutely WINDED today)

Axel: Of all the people to sneak into the girl’s trailer… I figured it’d be me.

(Zane stands up and widely grins)

Zane: They let me sneak in there all the time in exchange for access to the urinal shrine.

Axel: Ah. What’s it gonna be dedicated to this week?

Zane: We voted on “Team Rocket” as a joke. I might need to borrow your spray paint.

Axel: Sure thing. Oh, hey. I had a lot of coins from today, so I bought myself some blankets and a mattress at the Game Corner.

Zane: They had a MATTRESS!?

Axel: Chris knew I needed one. He put it there on purpose. So I bought it. I don’t have to use your lower bunk or sheets tonight.

Zane: Awwwwwww! We were gonna be bunk buddies. (Zane smiles anyway) But neat for you! Now you’ll be EXTRA warm!

Axel: Why?

(Zane reaches under the trailers. He pulls out a mattress and more blankets folded up)


Axel: …

---> Axel: Zane makes me wanna cry, what is this bull? (wipes his eyes)


=== Celadon City, Park === (Grace, Ludwig and Trixie are all hanging out in the same park that they fought Rocket in. They’re all eating fresh tacos they bought from a nearby shop. Matteo is walking by)

Matteo: Hey guys.

Grace: Dude you’re still walking ALONE? It hasn’t even been an hour since you got nabbed. Go stay inside!

Matteo: Yes, m’am.

(Sandslash suddenly leaps in front of Grace and lunges for her taco)


(Sandslash stops… it waddles irritatedly back to Matteo and follows him. It glares at the tacos as it walks)

Grace: … (nods) That Sandslash should get kidnapped more often.

Ludwig: Grace!

Grace: I’m joking, Lud.

Ludwig: (changes the subject) Way to master your psychic abilities, Trixie.

Trixie: (chuckles) It’s easy to do when gambling with people. Everyone’s thoughts are so out in the open. I could make a living off of doing this!

Grace: Can’t. Psychics are banned from casinos.

Trixie: … Unless I trick them into thinking I’m NOT a psy-

Grace: -Casino bouncers are usually psychics, because they can identify other psychics. Sorry, doll. Pick a new occupation. (laughs)

Trixie: I still have my comic.

Ludwig: You should feature Team Rocket in your next issue.

Trixie: I prefer REAL villains.

(The three laugh at the expense of Team Rocket. Wherever those grunts are, they are NOT happy with today’s outcome)





=== Celadon City, Pokemon Gym === (The gym has two sets of bleachers on boths sides, and a battlefield in the center. The battlefield is a garden)

(The cast sits in the bleachers as Erika, Bud, Chris and Professor Oak stand before them)

Chris: Alan wins immunity. Grace won the Eevee. Now we’ll be judging the loser based on which two contestants that have the least amount of coins left…

(Everyone gulps in fear)

Chris: Bud, care to announce who is safe today.

Bud: How many times do I have to keep telling you!?!? I don't know any of their names! They're ALL LARRY!!!

Chris: Cool! So safety goes to... Axel… Ludwig… Natalie… Bolin … Amber … and Payton. ... Hold up. Where’s Payton?


(Meanwhile at the Game Corner, Payton is still suffering in the Money Machine. Sneasel is trying to claw its way out. Payton is screaming in anger)


Chris: … (shrugs) Oh well. She’s safe. Three left. Malika, Matteo and Zane. Matteo… you barely earned ANYTHING today… And you got kidnapped… seriously, dude. You okay?

Matteo: … Sorry.

Chris: That really doesn’t cut it.

Erika: Malika, you begged for victory more than you did work for it.

Malika: … I was possessed by the cuteness.

Chris: Zane. You’re the only one in the cast with absolutely NO coins left… Like… what HAPPENED to all of them?

Zane: I honestly have no idea.

(Zane turns to Matteo and Malika)

Zane: By the way, I got you plushies and a brand new headset.

(Matteo and Malika smile and thank him. Malika hugs her new “Happiny” plushy and Matteo immediately starts listening to tunes on his headset)

Chris: … Real mystery. …

Chris: WELL! You know the drill. You three must defend yourselves to save yourselves.

(Chris turns to all of the current safe contestants)

Chris: And the rest of you can as well. Help your friends in the bottom three, or convince us that your enemies should go. Or both. Try and sway our decisions.


(The Bottom Three Analysis goes underway. Everyone expresses their opinions of the final three, the way they performed that day, and why and why not they shouldn’t go home)

---> Grace: Taking on Rocket alone was a completely stupid idea. I think Matteo's alright, but he seriously could have gotten hurt. Also he's Ground Type, my weakness, so please send him home. 

---> Alan: Malika's behavior today was childish and unprofessional. Completely unbecoming of a potential champion. Matteo would have performed better if Rocket hadn't taken him away. Besides, he stood up to them, and THAT is the behavior of champion. Malika NEEDS to be in the sudden death.

---> Amber: Zane will not LEAVE. PEOPLE. ALONE. And he's always burstin into people's trailers. Zane can't focus to save his life. Matteo is an idiot. Malika's won a challenge before and just had an off day. Leave her be.

---> Axel: Zane got gifts for literally everyone. He's nice, kind, and totally the kind of champion I'd like to see. Matteo is a grade A moron who literally walked up to Rocket as if they were mall Santas. The dude needs to go. Malika too, she's dumb as a rock.

---> Natalie: (putting her face in her hands) ... I can't promote both Malika AND Zane, they're my friends. Sure, Zane was unfocused today and in turn made other people unfocused, but he's doing his best... Oh no, am I accidentally making him look bad!? No! I-

---> Bolin: I appreciate Zane's effort to bring everyone together, but I didn't win today because of how distracted I was. None of that is Natalie's fault and in all sincerity I... I enjoy my time with her. ... (sternly) But Zane cost me a chance at winning. I appreciate you Zane, but I'm sorry. ... (Bolin contemplates) Malika should also be in the bottom two.

---> Trixie: Matteo could have gotten hurt. Zane is just doing what he does best. Malika got excited. I'm worried for Matteo in this game.

---> Ludwig: (struggling to pick up his journal. He's trying to resist the urge) AHHHHHHH!!

---> Matteo: Ohhhh boy... 

---> Malika: I got really really realllllly excited over Eevee. I feel terrible about it especially since Alan got REALLY upset. But I swear my head's in the game! I just lose it over cute stuff sometimes.

---> Zane: I regret nothing. (smiles)

( Minutes pass, and everyone has finished expressing their opinions. Some talk about Malika's attitude over Eevee, some talk about Zane's lack of focus, and some talk about Matteo being completely void)


(Input Submitted. Chris, Bud, and Erika approach the cast after reviewing them)

Erika: Hmmm… Well, very interesting…

Chris: Malika. Many said you were out of focus today. Zane, you too. In fact… that was the consensus. All three of you were.

Erika: … But in the end, we gotta put Matteo on the chopping block with Zane. One deliberately gave away the chance to win while the other was able to be abducted. Malika. You’re safe.

(Malika catches her poffin. She grins happily. She feeds it to her Steenee. Shroomish is sitting next to Steenee. Steenee turns her nose up at him)

Erika: This battlefield is a garden. Grass Type. Matteo and Zane, I trust you won’t harm the flora of this arena. … You may fight when ready.

Zane: Oh w-wow! Just like that?

Chris: Just like that.

Matteo: Aww maaaaaan. (looks around) Where's Payton? 

(Axel looks incredibly distressed. Zane looks worriedly at Matteo. Matteo has been built up by Payton for quite a bit this season and she won't even be around for this battle... )




=== ELIMINATION BATTLE === (ZANE (Ghost) vs MATTEO (Ground) Begin!)

Zane: Sorry, Matteo!

Matteo: (worriedly) I uh... 

(Zane sends out GASTLY. His floating mystery orb of darkness)

Natalie: (yells) GOOD MOVE, ZANE!

Bolin: (nods) I agree.

Malika: What’s going on?

Natalie: Zane could’ve sent out Sableye. But Gastly’s Ability is Levitate. That means Ground Type moves can’t affect it.

Bolin: And Normal Type moves just don’t affect ghosts at all.

Natalie: So Gastly is immune to Normal and Ground, the most common move types known by Sandslash.

Grace: And considering how powerful that Sandslash is, Zane will need all the immunities he can get.


(Zane and Matteo. Zane sent out Sableye)

Zane: Whenever your ready! May the best man win! No hard feelings! All in good fun!

Matteo: (pulls a Pokeball out of his pocket) Um… … … Go. Sandslash. Do as I say… p-please?

(Matteo tosses his Pokeball out… but Sandslash is not inside)

(Everyone screams in horror. This isn’t good)

(Instead of Sandslash… Matteo brings out a different Pokemon. A serpentine monster made entirely of rocks. And it’s huge)

Matteo: … Onix?

(The rock snake ROARS at Gastly. Gastly stares in horror. The ghost is afraid)

Zane: (smiling) WOW! … … (his mouth twitches. He’s having trouble putting a positive spin on this)

Matteo: … I forgot I had that.

(Uh oh)

Zane: Gastly! Use Hypnosis!

(Onix is pretty big, and he doesn’t have much room to dodge. Onix crumbles down and falls asleep. The entire stadium shakes. He falls into a small flower patch)

Erika: (angrily grumbling) Those were the violets.


(Malika is hugging Natalie in fear. She doesn’t want to see Zane eliminated)

Natalie: (wipes her forehead) Thank goodness. Zane may be bubbly, but he’s no ditz.

Axel: (stands up and screams) COME ON ZANE! WIPE THE FLOORS WITH HIM!

Bolin: He will if his Gastly knows Dream Eater.

Natalie: That’s a move that can only work on asleep Pokemon. It drains their health and gives it to the user.


(Matteo chuckles a little at his sleeping Onix. He relates to that)

Matteo: Okay, now I get why I caught this thing. It’s just like me…

(Matteo drops the goofiness. He looks a little more serious)

Matteo: Okay. Enough of this.

(Matteo reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small case. He has a bunch of berries inside. He grabs one and rolls it out on the battlefield towards Onix’s open mouth)

Zane: GASTLY! Dream Eater!

Axel: (jumps in the air) YES! Eat that subconscious!

(Gastly attempts to pull off Dream Eater… but it doesn’t work. Onix’s eyes open. Matteo succesfully rolled a Chesto Berry into Onix’s huge mouth. Onix rises above Gastly, intimidating the smaller ghostie)

Matteo: … Okay… Um… I think I have a solid way to end this… Sorry, bro.

Zane: Gastly! Use-

Matteo: -Smack Down.

Natalie: (gasps) Oh no! Smack Down makes Flying or Levitating Pokemon susceptible to Ground Type moves!

Malika: NOOOOO!!!

Axel: What? WHAT!?!?

(Onix SLAMS Gastly into the ground. Gastly is temporarily stuck)

Matteo: Sand Tomb!

(Onix rustles the ground around Gastly. It caves around the ghost and majorely damages him. Gastly screeches before completely passing out. It was that easy once it was vulnerable)

(Zane rushes over to the large pile of sand left on the battlefield. He starts digging through it, looking for Gastly. Axel, Malika, Natalie, Trixie and Ludwig run to help him)



(Zane cradles Gastly and puts him back in his Pokeball)

Zane: You did a GREAT job today, Gastly. Extra noms back home.

Chris: (approaches Zane) Zane… This is rough seeing you go. Honestly, you’re one of my favorites.

Natalie: You explicitly stated that he was one of your least favorites in the very first episode AND you've been yelling at him all day.

Chris: Shut up Natalie. You’re my new least fave.

Natalie: I was ALWAYS your least fave.

Chris: … True. But favorites aside, you’ll be missed, dude.

(Literally the entire cast (except Payton who is still trapped in the Game Corner) rush over to Zane and give him a big group hug. Bolin is the only one outside of the group)

Bolin: I don’t do affectio-

(Malika grabs him and yanks him into the group hug regardless. Once it disperses, Zane smiles at everyone walks for the exit. He waves to everyone as he leaves. They all wave back)

Zane: Thanks for the love, guys. Keep it going. AND HEY, someone keep the urinal shrine gag going for me!

Amber: The WHAT?

Malika: (waves frantically) I’LL DO IT!!!

(Zane turns and comes face to face with Axel)

Axel: You … uh … … (Axel doesn’t seem to be forming words, struggling to say anything)

(Zane puts his finger to Axel’s lips. He then opens his arms and smiles)

Axel: …. … … (nods)

(Axel gives Zane a hug. Zane lifts Axel off the ground and nearly knocks the wind out of him with his grip. Axel wheezes from the bind. Zane gently puts him down and pats Axel lightly on the chest before making his way to the exit)

(Zane disappears through the door and out into the light. He’s gone)

(Farewell Zane)




=== Route 7, Grassy Fields === (Perhaps one of the smallest routes in the region. There’s a patch of grass and not much else)

(Alan is sitting on a bench. He’s holding a few berries out in his hand. A few Murkrow are eating berries from him. He sighs)

(Malika walks over to him. She plops down)

Malika: Hey Alan. I wanted to talk for a second. … I'm Sorry for ruining your chances at catching an Umbreon.

Alan: Today’s turnout was much more interesting. At least the viewers are probably happy.

Malika: That you didn’t get the Pokemon you want? Don’t say that; you deserved that Umbreon. You were right. I ruined that for you… I’m sorry.

Alan: It’s fine. No use dwelling on the past.

Malika: … So… what are you doing right now?

Alan: I used to live in Kanto. This is actually a place I stopped by from time to time. I caught my Murkrow here.

Malika: Awwww!!!

(More Murkrow have perched around the two)

Alan: But there’s another dark type here that I want… Umbreon may have slipped between my fingers, but I always have a backup plan. Always.

(Suddenly, a Persian walks out of the bushes. It meows and walks towards the two)

Malika: AWWW!!! KITTY! Persian’s not a dark type tho.

Alan: Oh. So a Persian’s here? (smirks) … Then it should arrive any second.

(Suddenly, a dog bursts from the bushes and attacks the Persian. It cries out, slashing its claws at the beast. The dog’s fangs glow red with fire as it attempts to take a bite out of the Persian)


(Suddenly, Honchkrow swoops down and knocks the dog down and sends it sliding over to Alan’s feet. Once it touches Alan’s foot, the man knows EXACTLY where it is. Alan pulls out a Quick Ball and catches it. The dog disappears into the ball)

Alan: Yes. They’re always this feisty.

Malika: What was THAT?

Alan: THAT… was a Houndour. (stands up and begins walking away) Oh, and Malika… I’m willing to forgive you for what you did today not because of genuine mercy… (looks gravely at Malika) But because I knew my backup plan would be detrimental for you.

(He’s right. He now posseses a FIRE DOG. Malika’s a Grass Type. If Alan wanted to… he could annihilate her whenever he pleases)

(Malika hugs her Steenee close to her)

Alan: … (suddenly chipper) Good night. (walks off)

Malika: …

---> Malika: … Alan’s not so cute…

---> Alan: I want to get along with everyone. I do… (crosses his arms) But as the game narrows down, people will be less commandeering towards me due to my blindness. It’s time I strike before they do.


=== Girl’s Trailer === (Payton is back. She’s in her bed, spitting out coins)

Payton: I hate life.

(Trixie walks over, holding a waste basket. Payton spits more coins inside)

Trixie: I swear, you’re more consistent than the slot machines themselves.

Payton: I’m never setting foot in a casino again…

Trixie: Legally you can’t until-

Payton: -EVER. When I win, I'm shutting that place down. If people wanna ruin their lives and have fun about it, just do it the old fashion way and jump off a cliff with a helmet on, ARCEUS! I hate casinos!

(Trixie is shaking her head and smiling)


(Natalie is currently observing a present on her bed. She looks at it curiously. Her Anorith crawls on the bed and cuts the packaging open. She grabs the note before it gets sliced)

Natalie: “Dear Natalie. I had fun today. I don’t talk much, but I hope this speaks for me.” …

(Natalie opens the package. It’s a BUG CATCHING NET. It was bought at the Game Corner)

Natalie: … … … (she blushes and clutches it) … He DOES like me…

---> Natalie: Well, now that I know for sure that Bolin likes me… Things can get interesting. (She crosses her legs and smiles)


=== Boy’s Trailer === (Bolin is doing the same thing. He reads the note on a present while his Staravia opens the gift)

Bolin: “Dear Bolin. I had such a great time with you today. We may not always get along, but I hope this can change that for good.”

(Bolin pulls a pair of binoculars out of the box. He grins widely, having wanted a pair of these)

Bolin: … Hehe… Beats my telescope for sure…

(Bolin smiles and blushes. He leans against the wall and covers his face, not wanting the other guys to see what a blushy mess he is)

Bolin: … So she DOES like me…

---> Bolin: … Well… Let’s see where this goes. (displays a genuine smile)

(Little do both of them know… Zane is the one who bought both of those presents, and he purposely wrote the notes so they’d believe one another sent them. Even beyond elimination, Zane is still wingmanning)


=== Outside Trailers === (Malika is walking to the trailers. She’s stopped by Amber who is waiting outside)

Amber: Hey, Malika. Wanna chat?

Malika: … (sighs) What’s up?

Amber: You just look a lil down. (Amber sits) You wanna… talk about Ryuma?

(Malika immediately shines. She grins)

Malika: You’re spilling the beans now!? Awesome!

Amber: More than that… Did you know Ryuma and I broke up?

(Malika’s face drops)

Malika: Girl you DIDN’T! Why!?

Amber: Wouldn’t you rather hear alllll about Ryuma instead of why we broke up?

Malika: … (nods) Fair. Hit me up.

(Amber starts telling Malika ALL of the details. The two giggle endlessly)

---> Amber: She was havin a rough day. Who knows? She may even alliance with me eventually. (Amber winks) It’d be smart to bring Grass Type with me to the finale. Easy win… But Mal’s also good company. Only person here who doesn’t seem ta think I’m a bad guy.

---> Malika: Ryuma is SINGLE?!!? OH HO HOOOOOOOOO. MMMMMMM. Bolin, you're freee. to. go. (Malika rubs her hands together and giggles)


(Bud closes the hood of the truck. He whistles to himself and walks away)

Bud: I sure do hope this truck stays INTACT! I worked really hard to make it fool proof! … I like narrating my thoughts!

(Bud walks away)

(Almost instantly, Grace emerges from behind the trailers. She rubs her hands together, producing a tool box from behind her. She walks over to the engine hood and moves it)

Grace: Okay. Let’s-

(Grace screams when Bud, yes all of Bud, completely pops out of the engine hood and begins screeching right in her face)


(Grace falls backwards, her tools spilling all over her)

Bud: Caught red handed!

(Bud leaps out of the engine hood and grabs Grace’s arm and yanks her up)

Bud: YOU’VE been messing with the engine!

Grace: And you’ve been unable to fix it every single time. (smirks) Sorry pal, I like competition.

Bud: Then focus on the ACTUAL COMPETITION YOU’RE IN. Keep me out of it! (Bud drops Grace) Here’s what we’ll do. We’re gonna have a MECHANIC contest. Whichever one of us wins… gets a prize.

(Grace stands up)

Grace: I’m listening. (crosses her arms)

Bud: If I win, you leave me alone so I can stew over existence in peace. If you win-

Grace: -If I win, I get bragging rights. That’s all I want.

Bud: Wow. You shoot low. I don’t like you nor respect you or anybody you've ever met and are fond of. (picks up Grace’s toolbox and tosses it aside) We battle… next episode. I want this battle FILMED.

Grace: I’m pretty sure you can’t battle. No Pokemon, right?


Grace: What?

Bud: The next episode. We battle.

(Bud disappears, walking backwards into the forest… A twig snaps and we hear Bud scream offscreen as he likely tumbles down a hill)

—> Grace: (shrugs) I’m game.


=== Boy's Trailer Interior === (The guys are all getting inside of their beds for the night. The truck pulling the trailers starts up. Matteo doesn’t look anyone in the eye as he enters the trailer. He looks genuinely guilty with today’s turnout)

Ludwig: (to Matteo) Why were you out so late? You could of gotten kidnapped again.

(Matteo sighs. Even scrawny Ludwig gets to talk down to him. And Matteo knows he has every right to)

(Everyone gets in their beds. Axel is standing at his bed with a new mattress and new sheets. He could retake his own bunk … But he looks over at Zane’s empty bed and the empty bunk below his)

Axel: …

(Axel takes his blankets and pillow and moves to the bunk beneath Zane’s old one. He makes the bed and sleeps there)



Alan Collins -
Malika Carter - 
Amber McLeod -  
Trixie Masterson -  
Payton Rothman -  
Grace Cirillo -  
Axel Kens -  
Bolin Temirov -  
Ludwig Von Malmar -  
Natalie Harlow -   
Matteo Rossi -   

Chapter Text




♪♫ ANGIE’S AFTERMATH! You know it’s truuue! It’s time to learn about meeee and yoooou! We’ll sit down, drink some tea and have some fun! We’ll chat for hours til the day is done! ♪♫

(Angie is in a kictehn, ironing, dressed like a housewife. She looks at the floor where there are mudprints on the ground. She rolls her eyes and smiles at the camera)


♪♫ OH! Angie’s Aftermath is such a thrill! The action’s packed so that you can’t sit still! It’s a fun time that you won’t forget! I have not paid off my taxes yet!! ♪♫

(Angie walks through the front door wearing a button up shirt, a hat and long khakis and a mustache, also carrying a suitcase. She puts her coat on a coat hanger and smiles at the camera)


♪♫ Angie’s Aftermath! Oh, what a blast! I broke my arm last week and have a cast! It itches really bad I swear to god. I’ll use a tree branch as a scratching rod! ♪♫

(Angie is sitting on a pink bed with a ponytail, shorts and a crop top. She’s lying on her stomach as she yaps on a pink rotary phone. She looks at the camera and smiles)


♪♫ Angie’s Aftermath! It won’t be long! Forgot to bring the lyrics to the song! I’ll just keep singing to this nifty bop, and just keep going till they make me-♪♫

(Audio of the singer being tackled and equipment falling over as the upbeat tune still plays)




=== The Sevii Islands === (The Sevii Islands are a group of islands that each encompass their own lore and lush distinctive habitats)

(On one of the islands, on a beach, a talk show is set up. A girl in a tailored suit with a Makuhita in a bow tie wave at the camera)

(A table with a tea set, two large red, leather chairs, and the ocean in the background make up this set)

Angie: Welcome back everybody! We’re here to welcome two distinguished guests to our show! Who made it further in the game than me and that doesn’t bother me at all, and I’m not implying that I’m angry at them for making it further but if I was implying anything it’s that I feel inadequate for my own shortcomings displayed publicly by this competition… But again, that’s IF I was trying to imply anything… Which I’m not.

(Makuhita offers Angie a tissue)

Angie: I drank an entire milk carton of Five Hour Energy, I physically can’t cry right now, so no thank, but thank you! ANYWAY, onto our guests!

(Angie explains)



Angie: DRAGON TYPE! Ryuma is a fast paced guy with a heart willing to slow down in the name of love… and possibly old age when the time comes. Hearts will do that. He’s RYUMA!

(A picture of Ryuma comes up)

Angie: That’s right, RYUMA!



(Ryuma walks onto the beach. It’s incredibly sunny, so he’s only wearing a tank top, his normal shorts and sneakers. He sits down and smiles)

Ryuma: … Aren’t you hot?

Angie: I’m a solid 3.4/10. (mumbles) Did I make that joke already?

Ryuma: No. I mean… you’re wearing a suit. And it’s blazing out here.

Angie: Let’s talk about what’s REALLY blazing! … AMBER!

Ryuma: (winces) … Ummm… You probably know by now, right? You watched the show.

Angie: Yup. She broke up with you because she’s gay. How does that make you feel?

Ryuma: … (shrugs) Sure, we broke up, but at least it wasn’t from anything I did. I’m not too upset.

Angie: But you LOST because of her.

Ryuma: I live in Alola. I’m SURROUNDED by hot people. I should have been able to block her out from the start. (Ryuma puts his hands behind his head and smiles) That’s my own fault.

Angie: Wow. Someone as fast paced as you, I figured you’d be livid.

Ryuma: I get over things fast.

Angie: Ah. That makes sense. ANYWAY! Wanna bring out our next interviewee! He could really add some spice to this.

Ryuma: Who got eliminated after me?




Angie: GHOST TYPE! You see, he’s the captain of the SHIP PORT. The season’s cupid. The one. The only. Co-Founder of the urinal shrine. ZANE!

(A picture of Zane comes up)

Angie: Here comes dat boi!



(Zane runs from offscreen. He has on his T-shirt but no jacket. He plops into the seat next to Ryuma)

Zane: ANGIE!!!

Angie: ZANE!!!

Makuhita: Makuhita!!!

Angie: Welcome back!

Zane: Welcome back where?

Angie: To meme heck. I’m your host. ANGIE ROSS. So tell me, how’d the game go for you?

Zane: Well, I had an absolute BLAST! Got to make a lot of new friends, got to see a lot of new places, and got to leave my mark on the game.

Angie: How so?

Zane: Axel taught me how to graffiti tag stuff, so I wrote my name on the confessional ceiling.

Ryuma: Props for getting Axel to open up about literally anything. Weirdo was my bunkmate.

Zane: Axel’s not a bad person. (Speaks REALLY casually about this) He’s just holding onto a lot of previous experiences that have left him emotionally scarred and psychologically distant from the notion of lowering his guard since he’s afraid that he’ll let in the wrong people again since- (pause) … Not my story to tell. Sorry. (smiles and shuts up)

Ryuma: … Dang. Is the kid alright?

Angie: His hair’s dyed LIME GREEN. Lime. Green. Obviously he’s not okay. Lime Green is a “phase” color to dye your hair. If he was doing okay he’d pick, like … Jade. Or Emerald highlights. I dunno, phases sound fun.

Zane: (frowns) … I mean… I hope he’s okay, that’s all. I didn’t like leaving him. Or any of my friends, really. But I’m cheering for them all!

Angie: Can you tell us about any other ships in the game?

Zane: Well… There’s Bolin and Natalie.

(Ryuma spits out his drink)

Ryuma: Don’t they HATE each other?

Zane: I pulled some strings. (bounces his eyebrows) And besides, you and Amber hated each other too.

Ryuma: (unamused) And look how we turned out.

Zane: (blinks) … What?

Ryuma: … (facepalms) Oh crud. You don’t know. That’s right. (Ryuma tells Zane) … So… Amber and I broke up.

Zane: (gasps) WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?!? … (immediately recollects himself) So. Um. Why?

Ryuma: … (looks to Angie) … N-not my story to tell either.

Angie: But her confession was live on T.V. It’s everyone’s story now.

Ryuma: Well… … Amber’s gay.

Zane: … … … Hm. Really? (Zane scratches his head) Wow. My radar must be broken. I didn’t even consider that Amber might like girls.

Ryuma: Neither did I, dude. Neither. Did. I.

Zane: That just goes to show. I should be more open-minded about these kind of things. Dang, I hope I didn’t make Amber feel awkward when I read her that one-shot fanfiction I wrote about you two on a whim.

Ryuma: I feel akward and I haven’t even read it.

Zane: You want to?

Angie: YES.

Ryuma: No.

Angie: I have a question, Zane.

Zane: What’s the buzz?

Angie: Do you ship YOURSELF with anyone?

Zane: (blinks) … … M-myself? … I don’t know. I don’t usually think about that.

Ryuma: You ever dated before?

Zane: Oh yeah. I’ve had lots of dates and partners before. But most of the time what happens is that we date for a bit before we find someone else that fits better with them…

Ryuma: And they leave you for the other person?

Zane: Only after I start shipping them together. (Zane pauses for a moment) … …

(Zane looks… uncomfortable talking about this)

Angie: …

Ryuma: … You mean you don’t get jealous? If someone else is trying to get with YOUR partner, you just let them take them?

Zane: I mean, if they’d be happier together-

Ryuma: -Zane, when you’re dating someone, you commit to them. The issue is that you’re more-Wait. What am I doing? Guys don’t talk about their feelings. We go party and try and pick up chicks and forget about those problems.

(Ryuma stands up)

Ryuma: Come on, Zane. Let’s go. We’re heading out for a night on the town. You have a lot to learn, buddy.

Zane: Really?

Ryuma: Yeah. Really.

(Ryuma and Zane leave. Angie is left alone)

Angie: … Aw maaaan. I was gonna talk with them about who the mastermind might be! … Oh well! That’ll be for next time!

(Angie looks at the camera)

Angie: And that’s all we have for today, folks! (waves) SEE YOU NEXT TIME! … (Angie beams a smile and leans over in her chair. Makuhita catches the chair before it falls all the way over)



Angie played by ANGIE
Ryuma played by RYUMA
Zane played by ZANE
Host played by ANGIE
MC played by ANGIE
Dapper Chick played by ANGIE
Hot Beast played by ANGIE
Queen Of The Got Dang World played by ANGIE-

(Angie is tackled as she continues to make faulty credits)



Chapter Text

REGION TROTTERS: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 9

Alan Collins -
Malika Carter - 
Amber McLeod -  
Trixie Masterson -  
Payton Rothman -  
Grace Cirillo -  
Axel Kens -  
Bolin Temirov -  
Ludwig Von Malmar -  
Natalie Harlow -   
Matteo Rossi - 


=== Driver’s Seat === (Chris and Bud are driving along the roadway. It’s a long driveway leading to a secluded location beyond Rock Tunnel’s craggy mountainous pathways)

Bud: The Kanto POWER PLANT. This’ll be a great place to have the competition. (glances at Chris) Not the small competition where everyone's competing to be champion, but the BIG competition between me and that freaky lil mechanic witch. (Chris isn't responding) I’m gonna beat her in a “mechanic” off. (Chris isn't responding) ... VALIDATE ME!

Chris: (not paying attention) Yo, Bud… Think they’ll even ALLOW us to go to this Power Plant place?

Bud: Why not?

(The car pulls up to a security check. Policemen with Arcanines, Houndooms, and Granbulls are all scavenging the area and sniffing the trailers)

Chris: Well, apparently something at the Power Plant called the “Region Power Source” exists.

Bud: Oh, I read about that. Yeah, security should be top notch.

Chris: Hope that doesn’t interfere with the challenge, eh.

Policeman: (allows them to pass) You're validated.

Bud: (softly) Thank you.

(They’re verified. They drive onward)




(The next morning)

=== Boy’s Trailer === (All of the boys are asleep in their trailer)

(Axel sleeps in his own bunk. Bolin and Ludwig are bunking. Alan and Matteo remain as a bunk. Matteo oddly isn’t in bed right now. Axel’s the only one left with his own bunk)

( ... )

(Suddenly, air horn blast. Everyone screams. Bolin just gets up calmly, tossing aside his sheets to reveal that he’s already in his daily attire)

Bolin: It's time.

(BOOM. The door is kicked open. A couple of men in military uniforms rush into the trailer and grab anyone they see. They start dragging the boys out of the trailers)

(Ludwig's pupils shrink... There's something about all of this that he immediately recognizes. Ludwig is instantly a no-go and screams. The young scientist immediately ducks into the bathroom and locks the door)


=== Boy’s Bathroom === (Ludwig is heaving in fear. He’s holding the door. Today, the urinal is a shrine to plaid. It’s covered in plaid with pictures of lumberjacks and truck drivers. Bud must've gotten his hands on it)

Ludwig: They’re HERE! It’s TODAY! IT’S HAPPENING! NOOO!!!

Axel: (voice from the trailers) I DEMAND TO HAVE MY LAWYER PRESENT once he starts existing. LET ME GOOoooooo-

Ludwig: AAH!!!

Matteo: (voice) What’s wrong, lil dude?

Ludwig: … Matteo?

(Matteo exits the stall, still in sleepwear)

Matteo: You sound like you gotta go. (He gestures for Ludwig to enter the stall)

Ludwig: N-NO! This can only mean one thing! THE BOOT CAMP CHALLENGE!

Matteo: Uggghhh people use the bathroom to GO, man.

Ludwig: NO! We're being kidnapped out there! A morning alarm of that magnitude combined with a rough awakening of that degree combined with the fact that I wet myself a little, an uncontrollable side effect of being within twenty yards of my dad, means BOOT CAMP. (looks to Matteo) Boot camp run by MY DAD!

Matteo: Lt. Surge?

Ludwig: That's the one! (Ludwig turns and bites his nails) He's never approved of me being a scientist. He's always wanted a army brat for a son, and he most certainly wants me to fail today so he can prove that once again HE’s always right. I’m DOOMED.

Matteo: Hey, guy, it may not be as bad as you think.

Ludwig: There are goons of his waiting RIGHT OUTSIDE to get the drop on us.

Matteo: … I don’t hear them.

(Ludwig steps away from the door)

Ludwig: … Funny, I thought they’d try barreling it down at this point.

Officer: (voice) We’re picking the lock!

Ludwig: Oh.

(Ludwig summons Metang from his Pokeball. Metang uses its back claws to latch onto the door, preventing the lock from budging)

Matteo: Smart move, Ludwig.

(Suddenly, a splash is heard from inside the stall. An officer steps out wearing a snorkel. He looks PISSED)

(Ba Dum Bumsch)

(He tackles the CRAP out of Ludwig and Matteo)


=== Girl’s Trailer === (The same thing is happening over here. Malika and Natalie are dragged away by two burly men. Malika seems to be enjoying it since she's feeling the man's arm as she's slung over their shoulders)

(Amber is currently fist fighting a few of them. Her Ninetales is breathing fire at them, keeping the men at bay)

Payton: AMBER! NO FIRE IN THE TRAILER! We made that a rule!

Amber: Being a stone cold b**** was also a rule but you break that all the time!

Payton: You're the Rocket mole, you're not in any position to talk!

Amber: (fending off Surge's military guards) IS THIS A POSITION!?!?

(An officer hoses down Ninetales with a Fire Extinguisher. The fire fox is passed out)

Amber: Now was THAT really ne-

(Amber gets sprayed with the fire extinguisher too. She flails and falls on top of her Ninetales. A hefty officer walks over to Payton. She clings to the wall from her top bunk)

Payton: I’m a lady! You can’t manhandle me!

Officer: (shrugs) Fine. (The officer turns away) Get Rosita.

Payton: Who’s Rosita!?

(A woman with beefy arms, titanium calves, a six pack, an army uniform matching the gentleman, and mascara that is fiercely on point walks in and cracks her knuckles)

Payton: … (nodding) Ok. I'm more alright with this.

(Rosita grabs Payton and drags her out anyway. Payton is holding onto Sneasel’s legs. Sneasel’s claws and leaving marks in the floor as they’re dragged off)

Payton: (being dragged away) This is why I’m not a morning person.

(Amber is handcuffed and led out behind Payton. Amber is covered in extinquisher froth)


=== Girl’s Bathroom === (Trixie is peering out the door. She doesn’t want to get dragged off. Trixie gasps as she hears footsteps coming for the bathroom. She steps away from the door)

Officer: (voice) We haven’t checked the bathroom. Look inside.

(Trixie looks around and panics. She doesn’t know what to do… but being creative and potentially psychic gives her some options)

Trixie: … Hmm…

(Trixie stares at the lock on the bathroom door. She gives her neck a good tiny turn. The lock turns with her. Trixie has locked the door with her mind)

Trixie: W-WOW! (Trixie backs away) I didn’t expect to reach that level until… L-later!

(Trixie pulls out a Pokeball. She lets Kadabra out. Kadabra looks bored and unimpressed)

Trixie: Look what I did, Kadabra! Eat your words!

(Kadabra rolls his eyes)

Trixie: Weird time to practice, but you know how it is.

(Trixie looks to the toilet and nods her head again. The toilet flushes)

Officer: (voice) Someone’s in there! I heard the toilet flush!

(Trixie then, standing in place, moves her hands to control the sink. The water turns on at a rapid rate and overflows the bathroom. Kadabra hovers in place, not liking its feet getting wet. Water leaks off the sink and forms a large puddle that slides out of the door)

Officer: (voice) … Wait… a toilet flush followed by flooding water… Oh god, she FLUSHED herself down the toilet! Move out! We’ll catch her outside!

Officer #2: (voice) But how would she do that? That’s such a small area to squeeze into.

Officer: (voice) Roger over at the boys side did it.

Officer #2: (voice) Touche.

(The officers run away. Trixie succeeded. She's safe)

Trixie: … (sighs) …

(Trixie turns to the mirror and opens up the cabinet. She sees all of the makeup in the cabinet)

Trixie: ... I've been making scary good progress today. (Trixie smiles and nods) Let's keep the momentum going.

(Trixie is levitating the makeup supplies and proceeds to try and put on makeup using her psychic abilities. It’s rusty, but Trixie's excitedly going at it, just happy to seemingly FINALLY have control over her powers)

(Kadabra speaks telepathically “Credit where credit is due… I’m impressed”)

---> Trixie: I think I’m actually getting a solid control over my abilities! And as of this morning, my powers have been skyrocketing! Maybe it's because of the morning raid and I'm fearful for my life? I should endanger myself more often.


=== Kanto, Route 10 === (An average grassy route way off beyond Rock Tunnel. A route that is loomed over by the fabled Kanto Power Plant. The Power Plant is a sheek, state of the art facility with a massive barbed wire fence around it. The building is yellow and grey and is made of steel. This place resembles a prison more than a Power Plant))

(The officers chuck all of the remaining competitors into a huge pile together. They all roll off of one another and get back up)

Natalie: (gasps) Are we back on Route 10? Are we here to catch another shiny? (Natalie seems angry) Because if so-

??????: -ATTENTION!!!!

(Natalie pauses at the pure intensity and power of this voice)

Bolin: (growls and turns to the voice) Hey! Don’t speak to her that wa- (Bolin sees who it is) … (Bolin stiffly stands straight and adjusts Natalie to do the same) It’s happening.

Natalie: Wha-

??????: -I SAID ATTENTION!!!

(Chris chuckles and rubs his hands together gleefully. Bud crosses his arms in anger. LT. SURGE, the toughest, buffest, strongest man in Kanto, accompanied by a Raichu wearing dog tags and sunglasses, approaches from the Power Plant in the distance on the riverside. He steps in front of the cast)

Lt. Surge: Today none of you get to “chit chat” or have ANY kind of fun. You speak when spoken to. You do as you're told. Point blank, I will have NO wusses as MY future champion.

(Raichu’s cheeks charge up electricity. Raichu punches its grubby fists together, creating a volt)

(Lt. Surge rapid fires with people’s postures)

Lt. Surge: STOP HUNCHING! (Smacks Axel’s back) ARMS AT YOUR SIDES. (slaps Payton’s arms out of being crossed) FACE FORWARD (grabs Malika’s chin and positions it forward) SPIT IT OUT! (he holds his hand in front of Grace’s mouth. She spits out some gum)

Grace: (mumbles) I was gonna stick it on Bud's car seat.

Bud: HEY!

(Lt. Surge walks over to Bolin. Bolin is completely at attention. He’s facing forward, shoulders up, arms at his side, and perfect posture)

Lt. Surge: Well look at bird man here, standing like a natural! Do you think you’re somehow impressing me, Bird Man!?

Bolin: Sir NO Surge!

Lt. Surge: Right Answer! Do you think I like you now!?

Bolin: Sir NO Surge!

Lt. Surge: CORRECT AGAIN! Do you think you’re better than everyone here, Bird Man!?

Bolin: Sir NO Surge!

Lt. Surge: You sound like a broken record, Bird Man! I’m watching you!

(Natalie tenses up and immediately copies Bolin’s posture as Surge passes by her)


(Surge comes to Amber. She has a wide grin on her face)


Amber: Because this is gonna be a challenge based ENTIRELY on physicality, and there’s NOTHIN I love more than gettin physical!!!


Amber: … Right NOW? (shrugs) Sure. How many pushups.

Lt. Surge: No... Punch me.

(Everyone's pupils shrink. They slowly lean out of line to get a good look at Amber and Surge. Surge looks their way, causing everyone to straighten back up against and look forward)

Amber: (holds up a fist) You askin me to sock ya, sir?

Surge: Yes. (turns his cheek) Hit me right here. (points to his cheek)

Amber: … (grins. Amber cracks her knuckles) Alright! Now that’s more like it!

---> Grace: I can’t stand Amber sometimes… but watching her punch Lt. Surge in the face was poetry in action.


(Amber throws a POWERFUL punch at Lt. Surge. She uses all of her might. She punches him directly in the jaw. Amber’s eyes shoot wide open)

(Lt. Surge didn’t move a muscle. Not even during the collision. Amber’s fist is bright red. She slowly moves it towards herself. Her hand looks bent up. Amber is cross eyed and biting her lip)

Amber: !!!!!!!

Lt. Surge: (pats Amber on the back) You let me know when it’s MY turn.

(Amber shuts up. She just shakes her head, pleadingly)

---> Amber: (grumbling) I don’t like being spayed in front of EVERYONE. 

---> Bolin: Amber’s right, though. This challenge will be entirely defined by physical prowess. Considering she’s the clear mastermind behind all of Rocket’s advancements in the game, she HAS to go down by our hands. First Ross, then Molly, and she almost got Matteo in Celadon. I’m watching her.

---> Natalie: Amber’s our biggest threat right now. She helped fight Team Rocket in the last episode… b-but it may have just been a trick of hers in order to convince us that she’s NOT a member of Team Rocket. … (pause) Poor grunt that got kicked in the face by her. It must have been hard agreeing to that.

---> Amber: (comes back into the interview nook) But WAIT! I'm not done! (Amber sits down) I am NOT. THE. ROCKET. MOLE! Okay, done. (stands up and leaves)


=== Girl’s Bathroom === (Trixie is finishing her makeup. She looks REALLY ... bad. She has smudges all over her, but she's proud of herself anyway. She giggles and closes the cabinet)

Trixie: … Wait…

(She opens the cabinet again. She closes it again, but this time with telekinesis)

Trixie: (smiles) More gratifying.

(She walks to the door, ready to casually meet everyone outside on her own terms)


=== Kanto, Route 10 === (Surge is currently holding Axel upside down by his leg. Surge is doing this with one arm)


(He shakes Axel until all of the spray cans he has tumbles out. He tosses Axel aside)

Surge: And so help me if I CATCH you next time you decide to vandalize my city, I will publicly execute you purposefully without honor nor mercy, DO YOU HEAR ME! I will make a sculpture out of your limbs and display you in center square myself! I will CRUCIFY you! How is THAT for art!? Get back in line, Picasso!

Axel: (deadpan) Sir yes Surge.

Surge: WHAT!?!?!


(Surge moves down the line. He comes to Matteo. Matteo is almost a head shorter than Surge… which is still saying a lot because Surge is HUGE)

Surge: What’s your name, son?

Matteo: Matteo… (shakes his head and chuckles) Sorry, Matteo, Surge. Yes. Surge. Sir. Yes.


Matteo: … (shrugs)

(Surge grabs Matteo’s shoulders and SQUEEZES them together. Matteo winces)


(Surge stops for a genuine moment)

Surge: (kindly) Am I being lost in the hearing aid? Can you genuinely not hear me?

Matteo: (pauses) I left it in the trailer. I can only hear you when you shout, sir.

(Ludwig looks worriedly in Matteo and Surge's direction. Surge hasn't gotten to him yet)


Matteo: N-no sir, yes, surge? O-OW!

Payton: We get it. You're big and scary. Can you take a pill PLEASE?

(Surge immediately drops Matteo. He looks around)

---> Matteo: (blushing. He’s cutely tapping his pointer fingers together in contemplation, which is hard for Matteo since he doesn’t “contemplate” a lot) Being on this show with Payton is like… going on lots of field trips with a hot tutor that’s your age…  (he looks nervous) Was that weird?

Lt. Surge: WHO SAID THAT!?

(Payton stiffens up and looks unsuspicious)

(Grace looks at Payton. Everyone's shocked to have seen her stand up for Matteo like that... Grace sighs and decides to lend a hand)

Grace: … … I did.

(Payton looks confused. Surge marches over to Grace)

---> Grace: Payton did something NICE… I had to throw her a bone. Positive reinforcement keeps good habits going. Look it up. Whenever my Magnemite does something good, I take the defibrillator paddles from the first aid section and let him run wild with those.


Grace: You-

Surge: -DID I STUTTER?!!?

(He grabs Grace by the back of her shirt and throws her in front of everyone. She begins doing pushups)

(Bud is chuckling at Grace’s misfortune)


Grace: (furiously as she does pushups) SIR, NO SURGE!


---> Grace: I was relaxing on a BOAT three challenges ago. I napped all day and now it’s come to THIS! …. … (smirks and nods) Well played, Chris.


(Ludwig’s heart is beating a mile a minute. Surge heads down to the end of the line… where he stands before Ludwig. Ludwig tries his best to match Bolin and Natalie’s stance)

Surge: … … YOU.

Ludwig: … Y-yes…

(Payton is cringing. Everyone is internally)

---> Payton: I said it once and I’ll say it again… I TRIED to get Ludwig eliminated. The huge upside to me succeeding is that he wouldn’t have had to go through THIS.

---> Natalie: When Joey left, Ludwig became the baby of the cast. 15 years old. And here we are defenseless at the feet of his father, Lt. Surge… … … There was nothing we could do.

---> Amber: (takes her hat off) Arceus have mercy.

Surge: …

(Surge takes a deep breath. He’s about to yell at Ludwig. Ludwig prepares himself for the onslaught)


(Surge stops… He turns to the voice. It's Alan. Alan's been quiet this entire time and is only just now speaking up)

Alan: … (he stepped forward and out of line) … I won last challenge. May I participate anyway?

Surge: … (nods. He marches towards Alan) I’LL GLADLY STOMP ON MORE OF YA!

(Alan’s distraction gave Ludwig a few moments to breathe. It bought the poor kid enough time to recollect himself)

---> Malika: Alan’s not fooling anyone. He threatened me in the last episode after I cost him an Eevee, but I know deep down he’s a softy. He helped Joey when the S.S. Anne’s captain attacked him. He helped Ludwig just now. He’s got a big ol bleeding heart that hopefully doesn't eventually make me bleed...

(Surge marches back to Ludwig. Ludwig’s prepared this time)

Surge: (turns back to Ludwig) DID YOU THINK I’D FORGET YOU!? DO YOU THINK I’LL GO EASY ON YOU!?!?

Ludwig: Sir No Surge!


Ludwig: … Sir Ye-


Ludwig: Sir Yes Surge-


(Suddenly, Ludwig is spared again. Trixie exits the trailer. Everyone turns to the sound of a door opening and they all stare at her. She confidently smiles with her blotchy makeup on and walks casually to the line. Everyone is doing their best to give her small social signals that she should BE CARFEFUL)

Trixie: (flips her hair) What I miss?

Surge: ….

Everyone: …

---> Amber: (worriedly) Author of Sucker Punch was about to get punched like a sucker.


---> Amber: WHAT!?!?

(Surge marches. Everyone follows him, marching exactly the way he does. Surge’s officers march on both sides of them)


Everyone: ONE! TWO! THREE FOUR!-


(As this goes on, Ludwig, Grace and Trixie march next to each other. The three of them are an alliance)

Grace: Here’s the plan. We need to outlast Amber. Keep her from winning. We can convince Chris after the challenge to put her in the bottom two so we can finally send her home. Mastermind out. Rocket out. Sound good?

Trixie: (nods) Crystal.

Ludwig: One question for Trixie, though… How’d you escape the officers?

Trixie: My telekinesis has been improving! I think after being in my first SERIOUS fight in Celadon… I must’ve unlocked something! I’m on a roll! Watch this.

(Trixie leers at one of the officers. She twists her hand. The officer’s hat flies off. They run over to grab it. When they do, Bud stops in front of them)


(The officer runs back)

Bud: Hm… I think I do the “drill sergeant” routine better.

Chris: HA! Doubtful.

(Bud menacingly turns to Chris. Chris backs away, nervously)


=== Power Plant, Interior Lower Level === (The fully functioning Power Plant on Route 10 just around the corner from Rock Tunnel. They’re all taken through the front doors and down the stairs. Surge’s pace keeps any of them from seeing much of the inside. It looks like an average factor. Surge marches everyone here and stops them mid-march. He sharply turns to them all)

Surge: Here’s how this will work. There’s 10 of you. After every one of my deadly exercises, THREE of you will be spring boarded from my platoon. Understood!?!?

(Bolin stands at attention. Amber is excitedly bouncing in place. Despite being chewed out by Surge, she remains excited)


(The camera zooms out. They’re all at the entrance of an ELECTRIC MAZE. A powerful beam of light shines over the entire maze, illuminating it all)


(Surge yells directly at Bolin)


Bolin: I do not, sir!


Bolin: No sir, I do not!


(Surge motions for everyone to enter the maze. Everyone brings out their Pokemon to help guide them)

(Ludwig has his Metang. He looks up at Surge. Surge doesn’t give the same glance. Ludwig takes his place by everyone’s side)


(Alan removes his sunglasses. His eyes don't look any direction but forward. He's blind)

Surge: … AND….


(Suddenly, the whole room was instantaneously swallowed in a blinding light, followed by average lighting. It blasted everyone. Everyone is covering their eyes and wobbling about, their Pokemon too)

Everyone (Except Alan): WHAT!?!? / I CAN’T SEE!!! / MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!! / OW!!!

(Everyone except Alan. He’s the only one who didn’t react. They got temporarily blinded by the lights)


(Everyone, except Alan, immediately hobbles into the wall and gets shocked. Alan slowly walks with his Houndour. Houndour is helping him navigate by staying low to the ground and sniffing. Alan, with heightened sense from a lifetime of being actually blind, manages to keep a steady and formidable pace)

---> Amber: Well that’s not fair, he was born BLIND! … … … (turns stoic) I should rethink what I just said.


(Grace and Ludwig manage to grab a hold of each other)

Grace: Ludwig, I can tell that’s you cuz you have callouses on your hands from how often you write. Follow my lead.

(Ludwig nods. They follow after one another)


(Bolin is blinded. He stands up and smirks. He has his Golbat with him. Golbat has beady eyes, and was completely unaffected due to its echolocation-oriented nature. Golbat shoots supersonic beams. Bolin utilizes the echolocation and has his Golbat guide him)

Bolin: Hm… Not a bad Pokemon. (Golbat screeches gleefully) Don’t get too excited. (Golbat screeches compromisingly)

(Malika keeps tripping over her Shroomish. She slams into the wall repeatedly and gets shocked)

Malika: YOW!!!

(Ludwig walks into the maze. His Metang floats in after him. Ludwig gets immediately shocked. Metang just floats nearby…. Slowly absorbing the electricity around him)

(Matteo is just dragged through the maze by Sandslash. Sandslash blindly bumps into walls, but being Ground type, it doesn’t get affected. Matteo is just lazily lying on the ground)

Matteo: … Ow….

(Amber and her Ninetales are repeatedly running into the electric wall. It’s as if she’s trying to break it down)

---> Amber: I wanted to send a message to everyone that PAIN is not something that can slow me down… Granted, a WALL can, but I’m sure everyone got the picture. If everyone thinks I’m the Rocket mole, I need to make sure they keep their distance so nobody tries anything funny with me.

(Trixie has her eyes closed as is slowly navigating the maze with ease. Kadabra floats behind her, meditating mid air)


(Alan, Trixie and Bolin are the first to reach the other side. Houndour, Golbat and Kadabra celebrate with their owners)

Bolin: Golbat, well done. (pets Kadabra’s head)

Kadabra: (telepathically “Get your hand off me you filthy heathenistic mountain wretch”)

(Bolin is still blinded. He turns and feels the air. Golbat nuzzles his hand. Bolin smiles... then yanks his hand away. That's enough affection for one week)


Amber: (voice) OW!!!

(At the entrance, Amber has broken through a wall. She is covered in soot and is jolting with electrocution every few seconds. She just goes on trying to barrel through the next wall)


(Ludwig touched his Metang, which took in a LOT of electrical energy. Ludwig SOARS out of the maze and lands back at the start. He lies on the ground, completely blackened by soot from the explosion. He coughs up smoke)

(Matteo is dragged to the other side. Grace follows him. These two make it. Sandslash looks at Grace)

Grace: (rubbing her eyes and getting her vision back) Well at least you helped your owner this time. Improvement, Sandslash.

(Sandslash proceeds to draw on Matteo’s face. Matteo was taking a NAP)

Grace: …

---> Matteo: (with a mustache drawn on his face) Baby steps.

(Payton walks by with her Sneasel. Her hair looks incredibly poofy from having encountered a few electroshocks. She smirks at Matteo napping)

Payton: I mean, it worked. (shrugs. She doesn’t care)


(Suddenly, Surge stomps the floor)


(Amber crashes through the final wall just as he says this. She salutes before falling face first onto the ground. Her Ninetales sits daintily on her back)

(Grace and Trixie curse under their breath. Amber just BARELY made it)


(Surge points)

Surge: MALIKA… … LUDWIG … … and NATALIE!

(Natalie gasps. She’s currently healing her two friends. She didn’t enter the maze at all. Malika sits up and groans. She lowers her head in shame)

Malika: D-dang it...


Alan: -With all due respect, sir. I’d like to withdraw from the challenge.

Surge: (sharply turns to Alan) WHAT!?

Alan: I just wanted a taste of boot camp.

Surge: Um… you’re free to go?...

(Alan casually leaves. Everyone looks at him in confusion. Malika stares widely at him in awe more than anybody else)

---> Malika: He’s… so… hardcore!


(Ludwig nods profusely and rushes over to the others)

---> Trixie: That’s the second time Alan’s “unintentionally” helped Ludwig today… What’s going on?

(Surge stomps over to Natalie and Malika. Both stand up tall. Malika is crouched though, she looks battered from the maze)


Natalie: I accept my shortcoming, SIR!

Malika: … (sniffles) … What she said.

(Everyone gasps. Someone is showing a WHOLE lot of weakness in front of Surge… MALIKA's crying. Everyone holds their breath for her)

(Malika starts sniffling. Surge immediately sets his sight on her. Everyone’s hearts break the moment he approaches her. She’s looking down, trying not to break down already. Natalie’s grasping her hand)

Surge: (to Natalie) Let go of her.

(Natalie complies)

Surge: … (kneels down and looks Malika in the face) … Look at me.

(Malika looks at Surge)

Surge: … … … It’s okay. Now go-

????: NOW HOLD ON!!!

(Bud marches into the room wearing another boot camp seargent uniform. He somehow stole an army uniform and is wearing it right now. A tank top, baggy pants and boots. He stomps in front of Surge with way too much estimated confidence)

Bud: What you ACTUALLY SAY IS…

(Bud yells at Malika)


(Malika is wide eyed and hiccuping from her tears. Natalie is wiping the saliva off of her face from Bud's yelling. Bud stands proudly and crosses his arms)

(Surge sets his fiery gaze onto Bud from the spot he's kneeling at)

Surge: … Is this YOUR boot camp?

Bud: (turns to Surge) They’d all be “champion material” if it was!

Surge: …

(Surge was still kneeling. He stands up. And he stands up TALL. He towers over Bud, yes BUD. Bud just slowly starts to realize how bad an idea this was)




Bud: :O


Bud: But… we’re not near a gym.


(Bud screams and runs out of the power plant. Everyone just stares in horror. Surge then goes rapid fire with his critiques again)


(Matteo has his eyes completely wide. He's not enjoying today in the slightest)


Payton: Heck no!

(Surge turns to Payton. She did it again)

---> Payton: (slamming head against wall) UUGGGGHHHH.

Payton: Guess I’m doing this. (She marches over defiantly to Surge) Okay. I get it. You’re big. You’re scary. I’m gonna eat my words in a second, which is okay since I missed breakfast anyway because of this gross challenge, but let’s all be real here for a second. Matteo needs this. Keep him in the challenge.

Matteo: Wuh?

Payton: (snaps her fingers in Matteo’s face) Lt. Surge is gonna wring you out, okay? You need discipline, and he’s gonna teach it to you. I can only push you into so many fountains.

(Surge nods his head solemnly)

Surge: That’s noble of you, Payton. To take his place like that.

Payton: … What?


Payton: OH COME ON! No-

(Surge tosses Payton aside)

Payton: (offscreen) THISISWHYIDON’TDONICETHINGS-(crashing sound effect)

Surge: MOVING ON!!! (Surge turns to Ludwig) YOU! DON’T DISAPPOINT ME AGAIN.

(Surge gently shoves Ludwig aside. Axel was hiding behind him)


(Axel grunts but stands up straight. Surge turns to Trixie)


Trixie: I’m still figuring it out. See, psychics in early stages exhibity traits of all different abilities until they subconsciously settle with one-


Trixie: B-but-


Ludwig: T-too much information…


(They all march behind Surge. They head off to the next area of the challenge)

---> Grace: DANG… That was rough to watch.

---> Trixie: Grace, Ludwig and I all made it to the next challenge. One of us just needs to beat Amber and it’s an instant mission accomplished.


(Natalie, Payton, and Malika remain left behind. These three eliminated from the game. Malika’s Steenee and Shroomish are by her side. They’re nuzzling her)

Payton: … Awww come ON. This better not bite me in the butt at elimination. I don't deserve to go home.

Natalie: You actually got through the maze. I doubt you’re in trouble.

Payton: Oh I know for a fact I don't deserve to be in the bottom two, but if this puts me in the bottom three and everyone gangs up on me for no reason, I'm gonna write a strongly worded letter to everyone I've ever known. 

Malika: (wiping her eyes) Relax, Payton. Your type beats ours anyway.

(Payton nods. That DOES make her feel better. She walks off)

(Shroomish attempts to waddle away, but Malika stops him and grips him close)

(Malika and Natalie are alone in the Power Plant, sitting next to each other on the floor. Natalie is consoling a crying Malika. The two look up as Bolin approaches them. He offers his hands and helps the two up from the ground)

Bolin: Are you both okay?

Natalie: What’re you worrying about us for? … And, um… shouldn’t you keep up with the group?

Bolin: My whole life is basic training. I know how to recover from a slip-up. Just keep your heads low. More often the person he’s disappointed in most are the people who get farther. Sergeants hate having their expectations destroyed.

Natalie: Well, go keep up yours. We’ll be rooting for you.

Shroomish: Shroo.

(Malika is wiping away her tears rapidly in order to not seem weak in front of Bolin. Despite everything, she's still got a bit of crush on him and is twirling her hair and smiling)

Malika: Yeah, Bo! We’re here for ya! Go win!

Bolin: Thanks. (takes Natalie’s hand and pats it) I’ll uh… See you around, Natalie. And by the way, the Zubat… (The Golbat is nuzzling the side of Bolin’s face. Notably his side burns) He uh… I made it through this challenge because of it. Not as useless as I thought it’d be.

(Natalie pats his hand back)

Natalie: You’ll find that a lot of “useless” Pokemon don’t start being useful until a good trainer comes along. Thank yourself.

(Malika is noticing that she’s being practically ignored)

(Bolin blushes. And when Bolin blushes, he turns into a blushy, bashful mess. He stifly takes his arm away and nods. Bolin smiles and marches after the others. Natalie and Malika simultaneously sigh. They give each other odd looks)

---> Natalie: Wow… We got off easy. And Bolin… (Natalie tilts her head and smiles) People you disagree with are a lot more enjoyable once you start being attracted to them. ... Unless they're racists or homophobic. Nothing can recover from that.

---> Bolin: (blushing) Mmmmm.

---> Malika: Bolin… didn’t even notice me… (clenches her fists) And why should he? I’m a weak trainer. (Malika holds up Shroomish and Steenee) I knew I should have been a breeder. … Honestly, Alan threatened me in Celadon that he’d take me out of the game. But why be scared of him when I’m just as likely to take MYSELF out. … I need to get stronger, yo! I need to step it up if Ryuma or Bolin’s gonna notice me, or better yet, if I’m gonna WIN.


=== Power Plant, Staff Floor === (This floor is a factory where many workers, well, work. They’re all scientists patching together electrical fragments and typing on computers)

(Two scientists are in cubicles talking to each other)

Scientist #1: (drinking coffee) Did you catch the game yesterday?

(Surge marches by with all of his contestants)

Axel: (hisses at the scientists as he walks by) You ssssssssuck.

(The two scientists just watch blankly)

Scientist #2: … … … Yeah, I caught the game.


(Ludwig walks next to Axel. Axel looks incredibly annoyed at the moment, more so than usual)

Ludwig: We're in a high stress environment. Why not? (Ludwig looks to Axel) Hey Axel. (Axel glares at Ludwig) Why DO you hate scientists?

Axel: Did I ask?

Ludwig: No. I did.

Axel: Well what do YOU think?

Ludwig: I think that-

Axel: -How many rhetorical questions do I need to ask before you buzz off?

Ludwig: … That’s another rhetorical question, so the answer is three.

(Axel keeps marching. Ludwig’s left alone again)

---> Axel: (crossing his arms) Nothing gets my mind off of ZANE being eliminated like a day of being forced to watch scientists while being literally beaten to a pulp by a war veteran… (pause) No really. The pain is REALLY distracting, it's helpful.




=== Girl’s Bathroom === (Natalie and Malika are back in the girl’s trailer. Malika is brushing her half-a-head of hair. Natalie is in the shower. We only see the steam rising from it)

Malika: Hey, Natalie… Do you think I’m weak?

Natalie: (voice) “Weak” isn’t in my vocabulary. Everything and everyone has to have some kind of strength. You wouldn’t exist if you didn’t. This is why I'm an activist, because I want to take action in my belief that all people are equal, and so are Pokemon.

Malika: So people and Pokemon are equal? So do you support that whole thing where that one guy married his Machoke?

Natalie: (voice) Ugggghhhhhhh.... I'm more focused on Type Equality.

Malika: Radical. (Malika grimaces) … It’s just… I don't wanna be weak. I figured I'd naturally be strong cuz of all the stuff I've been through, ya know? 

Natalie: (voice) Like what?

Malika: My parents died, like, literally in front of me. I survived a Koffing explosion. I moved from Route 4 of Unova all the way to Alola, so like… major culture shock-

Natalie: (voice) -You lost me at the “parents died literally in front of you” part… (Natalie pokes her head out of the shower. Her wet hair is incredibly long when not curled up in her natural curliness) Malika, that’s so much worse than I imagined when you told me at Pokemon Tower! Are you okay?

Malika: (nodding) I’m fine! … It’s just… You’d think THAT experience would make me strong! My adoptive parents are the biggest softies, and I love em more than pizza!

Natalie: I would hope you’d love your parents more than pizza. (goes back in the shower)


Natalie: (voice) Well… We can keep training together if you’d like. We can make our sessions more intense.

Malika: T-thanks, Natalie…

(The two's conversation is interupted)


(Suddenly, the door is kicked open. Natalie and Malika shriek. Payton is being grabbed by one of Surge’s grunts. It's Rosita again)

Payton: (deadpan) Which one of you dimwits asked for a reprise?

Rosita: You’re all being summoned to the Power Plant again.

Natalie: But we just got eliminated.

Payton: Also we were eliminated in the first round of a physical strength challenge so is this much force really needed on us right now? Couldn't you just ask us aggressively to come with you and at least two of us would cry? Namely these two. Not me.

(Natalie is unamused. She exits wearing a towel to cover herself and another one to wrap her hair in a bun)

Rosita: Surge’s orders. You wanna take it up with him?

(Payton shrugs and Malika is pulled along. Natalie goes in her towel)




=== Power Plant, Control Room === (The cast is currently being walked through the control center of the power plant. There's a large table in this room. It's sealed off and away from everyone else in the plant. There's a locked door, a ceiling vent, heavy machinery and tubes going into the center table)

(On a center table is a cube infused into a little slot built just for it. It’s a glowing cube. ... The isolation of this room with the radiation of the cube indicates that this cube is somehow really important)

Surge: AND STAND!!!

(Everyone is already standing)

(Axel, Amber, Grace, Bolin, Matteo, Trixie and Ludwig are left. Alan is following them. Soon, Payton, Malika and Natalie arrive as well. Natalie is still wet and wearing only a towel)

Axel: (looks to Alan) You’re back? Didn’t you opt out?

Alan: (shrugs)

(Bolin notices Natalie only wearing a towel. Bolin starts blushing intensely, and looks away, trying not to be perverted in any manner. Natalie walks to his side)

Natalie: Did you miss me?

Bolin: (coughs) That’s a new look for you-


(Suddenly, a familiar face walks in. Everyone gasps, not expecting this surprise... )


(BILL from Cerulean City walks in, followed by a mysterious new face. Bill is the famous research whom they encountered back earlier in the competition)

Bill: (waves) Hello again, everyone!

Ludwig: BILL! How’s Alice!?

Trixie: Yeah! How is she-

(Surge stands in front of them to block their path)


Bill: (quizzical) Perhaps… not the best of times. She’s doing fine, of course.

Amber: (raises an eyebrow at Lillie) And who’s THIS supposed to be?

?????: Hm? Oh. I’m Lillie. Hello everyone! (She gently waves) Alice told me about you all.

(The girl is wearing her hair tied in a ponytail and a small backpack. She has a short white skirt and piercing, weathered eyes that look too tired for a girl her age. Clearly she looks like she’s been under a lot of stress)

Bill: Lillie’s come all the way from Alola. She’s in Kanto to conduct research with me. We’ve come to the Power Plant to request extra power for my latest studies. Lillie has helped us make some… impeccable advances in my work.

Amber: Yer askin for power?

Payton: Did he stutter or do you need to clean out your ears?

Amber: (squats and holds her fists up to Payton) My favorite food to eat is a grilled cheese steak…

Payton: … So?

Amber: My favorite food to serve is a KNUCKLE SANDWHICH.

Payton: Weak buildup.

(Amber starts throttling Payton. Nobody bats an eye. Amber calmly listens to Bill as she shakes Payton back and forth)



(Everyone is ignoring this scuffle. Bill smiles and gladly answers Amber’s original question about “borrowing power” from the power plant. Lillie listens in too, very interested)

Bill: You see, this Power Plant is fundamental to Kanto’s well being. All of Kanto’s power comes directly from HERE. Surge’s forces help protect this place at all costs. It’s why we’re also so remote.

Ludwig: I know about this place!

(Ludwig looks to his dad. Surge just looks sideways, allowing Ludwig to speak)

Ludwig: … S-Silph Co. provides the resources to power THAT, right?

(Ludwig points to the glowing square on the altar-like table)

Bill: That’s right. Years ago, our current champion, Red, conducted a research team to scourge the remains of the Mewtwo Laboratories. I was a part of that team. AND it’s a good thing Red made that call when he did, because years after he did so, Cinnabar Volcano erupted and destroyed the laboratories. Had we not investigated the labs when we did, we would have lost the opportunity to find something incredible!

Ludwig: (getting excited) What did you find!?!?

Bill: (chuckles) Eager one. (looks to Surge) Reminds me of myself when I was younger. Lucky you, Surge.

(Surge grumbles. Trixie furrows her brow at him)

Ludwig: So what did you find!?!?

Bill: Inside, this object was found.

(Bill walks over and pulls out a KEY. He inserts it into a keyhole on the side of the table A LARGE invisible barrier is lowered from around the cube, deactivated by the key. Everyone looks closely at glowing square on the table now that the barrier is down)

(It’s a glowing box. No features other than its intense glow. Everyone shields their eyes)

Bill: (to Alan) Lucky you, wearing sunglasses.

(Alan takes off his sunglasses. He stares directly at the orb to prove that he’s blind)

Bill: My apologies. Anyway, this object was merely found in the remains of the labs-

Amber: -Pardon me.

(Everyone looks at Amber. She drops Payton. She’s literally been throttling her this whole time. Payton frantically crawls away and plots revenge)

Amber: Am I the only one who doesn’t have a lick of a clue as to what these “Mewtwo” Experiments were?

Payton: (offscreen) Amber, you uncultured piece of trash.

Amber: I’m a HOENN native! Cut me some slack!

Bill: (Bill looks at the others) Who here knows about the Mewtwo Projects?

(Payton, Trixie, Axel, Matteo, Bolin and Alan all raise their hands. Amber is alone)

Amber: … (taps her foot) Well SORRY for not thinkin bout weird mumbo jumbo science stuff when I’m busy makin a living on a farm. Shoot me, right?

Payton: Yes, please. Shoot her.

Axel: Don’t bother answering her question. She works for Team Rocket.

Bill: W-what!? (steps away from Amber) YOU!?

Chris: (whispers to Bill) It’s not confirmed yet. We don’t KNOW, and I’m too lazy to kill any rumors.

Bill: … O-oh… It’s alright. Anyone care to explain what the Mewtwo Projects are?

(Ludwig’s hand shoots up. Bill nods)

Ludwig: … Long ago, when Team Rocket was in its prime-

Amber: -The clown mafia had a prime?

Axel: You WORK for them.

Amber: I do NOT!

Alan: (interrupts) They were actually quite formidable back in their golden ages… At least so I’ve heard.

Ludwig: … So the story goes…

Bill: Oh it’s no story. It’s all real.

(Ludwig begins telling everyone about the MEWTWO Projects)

Ludwig: Long ago, when Team Rocket was in its prime, it had its own scientific research branch… a highly illegal one that conducted heartless experiments on Pokemon and people alike. Their most notable breakthrough? … Mewtwo. See, there’s this Pokemon called MEW, which is said to be the descendant of all DNA within Pokemon’s evolutionary chains. It’s quite complicated, but Team Rocket wanted to duplicate this creature, Mew. Mew is hard to find… impossibly so. Sightings of it are ludicrously rare.

Amber: How rare? Like… shiny, rare?

Ludwig: It appears, like, once every six generations.

Amber: Aw scuz.

Ludwig: Team Rocket wanted to make a duplicate of it, because Mew is said to be the strongest Psychic Type to ever live… And their experiment didn’t go quite right…

Bill: Some debate they accomplished exactly what they intended to. To create the world’s strongest Pokemon.

Ludwig: MewTWO. Mew’s clone.

(Everyone gets goosebumps. Payton slaps her arm to make them go away)

Ludwig: But Mewtwo was far too smart. He broke free and destroyed the labs. He was never spotted again… … …

Bill: (nods) Such IMMENSE power. We found other remnants of Mewtwo in the labs, but THIS...

(Bill gestures to the glowing square. He presses a button. It gets protected by the invisible barrier again. Bill holds the key into the air)

(Everyone takes special notice of the key)

Bill: … This is all we could find.

Matteo: The key?

Bill: No, the cube. (gestures to the cube on the table) We like to believe it was possibly used as some sort of… pre-Master Ball concept to contain Mewtwo. The case itself may not be able to hold a Pokemon… but it sure does exert unimmaginable power. It doesn’t seem to have an expiration date either, so we’ve put it to good use.

Surge: (nods) This powers Kanto’s electricity. We can use this machine to delegate where it goes to. Bill occasionally stops by and asks for some.

Bill: (smiles) I can’t help it. It’s an excuse to come and look at this beauty.

Lillie: (looking at the square) … … … (nods) We’d like some extra power. We have something very important to work on back at Bill’s lab.

Surge: Just speak with the management. You know the drill. As for the rest of us… MARCH ONWARDS!!! HUT HUT HUT!!!

(Amber, Payton, Trixie, Axel, Matteo, Bolin all march behind Surge. Alan, Natalie, Malika, and Grace are all dismissed. They walk away)

(But one of them… one of the contestants… BUMPS into Bill)

(Bill roughly falls over. He’s caught and helped back up by Lillie)

Lillie: Oh! Mr. Bill!

Bill: OH MY!

???: I’m sorry.

Bill: Oh, it’s… It’s no worry at all-

(Bill turns to see who bumped into him… They’re gone)

Bill: … Um…

(Bill turns to leave. He goes off with Lillie)

(... … … It doesn’t even need to be implied. Something was taken from Bill in the process of that encounter… )

(But who did it?)



Chapter Text

REGION TROTTERS: Kanto Catastrophes - Episode 9

Alan (DARK), Axel (POISON), Bolin (FLYING), Ludwig (STEEL), Matteo (GROUND)

Amber (FIRE), Grace (ELECTRIC), Malika (GRASS), Natalie (BUG), Payton (ICE), Trixie (PSYCHIC)


=== Power Plant, Basement Area === (This area is a large electrical field with small platforms that rise up with arrows on them. The platforms aren't electrified... but the ground around them certainly is. Surge is leading everyone down here who's left in the challenge. They’re led to the edge of the railing)

(Bolin, Grace, Amber, Trixie, Ludwig, Axel and Matteo are left. Ludwig and Trixie stand together)

Trixie: That Power Source… wow. It generates electricity for the ENTIRE REGION! That’s so cool!

Ludwig: Hehe… Yeah… It um… (appears nervous) Really is.

Trixie: And just think! It was found at the MEWTWO labs! Maybe Mewtwo’s TOUCHED it before!

Ludwig: I doubt he did. He fled the place ASAP.

Trixie: Still!

Ludwig: Um… Trixie…

Trixie: Yeah?

Ludwig: I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but… how well do you feel in terms of “psychic” abilities specifically today?

Trixie: Today has been PHENOMENAL! I mean… My training paid off! I feel like a level 5 psychic today! I’ve been able to easily move heavy objects, read wandering thoughts, and BEND A SPOON! I might even have more than one psychic ability at the end of all this! Like, if I go home today, I won’t even mind!

Ludwig: … Um… about that… You see-

(Interrupted. Surge explains the next part of the challenge)



(Grace grins and points at Amber)

Grace: I call dibs on Amber! (Grace holds back her excitement and just compromises with a smirk) About time someone literally knocks the mole off their high horse.

Amber: (getting irritated) Do you SEE a horse?


(Grace and Bolin look at one another with equally stoic and uncaring glares. They keep the stares up, seeing who can crack first. Grace is low key dissapointed she can’t take Amber down)


(Trixie waves at Matteo. She cutely smiles. Matteo just looks blank… then smiles and waves a few seconds later)


(Ludwig hears heavy breathing. He slowly turns to see Axel staring hatefully at him, breathing creepily)

Ludwig: … One of these days you’ll have to explain why you hate me.

Axel: Shhhhhhhut up.

---> Axel: Nothing like ZANE being gone and being stuck here with the LudWORST. … That’s a good one. (writes that down) I am GREAT comic relief.

Surge: AMBER AND CHRIS!!! (points offscreen) If I'm punishing Bud, I'm going the full mile!

(Chris shows up)

Chris: YOU RANG!?

Amber: (cracks her knuckles) Okay, decent substitute.

Chris: … Did I miss something?

Matteo: F.

Trixie: (looks to Matteo) Did you just say "F"?

---> Ludwig: Of COURSE Amber gets the easy win. How are we gonna take her down?

---> Amber: EVERYONE’s out to get me… so it’s nice to have a little stress relief. (cracks her knuckles. She gets to fight Chris)




=== Outside Power Plant, Riverside === (The Power Plant is near the edge of a river. A wall is built around the complex, and is guarded heavily by Surge’s forces)

(Malika is walking about. She’s looking around for something or someone. Her Steenee is bouncing giddily besides her)

Malika: Use Sweet Scent again.

(Steenee uses Sweet Scent. It does nothing. Malika shrugs and keeps walking)

Malika: They’ve got to be around here somewhere. I saw them…

(Malika hears the sound of talking. She looks around and peers into the woods. Malika sneaks into the bushes and peers over a rock into a clearing where a few individuals are gathered. Malika gasps loudly. Her Steenee covers her mouth)

(Malika sees... TEAM ROCKET)

(And they're talking to an individual. An individual Malika recognizes. The one she was looking for)

Malika: N-no…. No way… …

(Malika turns and runs. She saw something she was not supposed to see...)

---> Malika: I've walked in on my friends back home hooking up with each other after ice cream socials, but THAT just took the cake on things I should not have seen! (Malika is wide eyed) I GOTTA TELL EVERYONE!




=== Power Plant, Basement Area === (The contestants are all on top of small platforms now. They’re crammed close to the people they’ve been assigned to. Their Pokemon are also on small platforms separate from them)

(Grace and Bolin. Grace’s Magneton and Bolin’s Golbat)

(Matteo and Trixie. Matteo’s Sandslash and Trixie’s Kadabra)

(Axel and Ludwig. Axel’s Nidorino and Ludwig’s Metang)

(Amber and Chris. Amber’s Vulpix... Chris doesn't have a Pokemon)


Ludwig: There’s no padding below us. Just an electrified floor.



(Chris starts sobbing)

Amber: Is this gonna affect my chances of winning?

Chris: Only if I die.

Amber: Cool. Cool.

(KAPOW. Chris soars into the electrified field. Everyone watches as he comically gets shocked and soars onto the safe metal floors. He coughs up smoke)

Amber: … Surge, I have a feelin you let me experience that on purpose.



(Golbat uses Supersonic on Magnemite. Magnemite resists. Magnemite (floats) leaps into the air and strikes Golbat down... But Golbat just flies back up. Magnemite gets irritated)

(Grace looks up at the bulky and huge Bolin. He just looks down at her)

Grace: … Well, can’t blame a girl for trying.

(Grace kicks Bolin right in the … unmentionables. Unfortunately a KLANG sound occurs and she clutches her knee in pain)


Bolin: Nut shots are for the weak... and cheap Canadian cartoons with questionable comedy. I always wear a cup just in case. ...And yes, I do blame you for trying.

(Bolin casually shoves Grace off the platform. She gets electrocuted. Amber chuckles from afar. Bolin smiles when his Golbat successfully sends Magnemite down after her when it lunged at Golbat and missed)

(BOLIN and GOLBAT win)

---> Bolin: I’m gonna have to make the bulk-less members of my hunting pack back home do more extensive research on which Pokemon should be considered strong or not. I think Golbat is making his way there. (Golbat screeches gleefully from outside. Bolin frowns) Quit eavesdropping. (knocks on the door and spooks his bat)


(Trixie is leering at Matteo. The two just circle each other. Trixie’s gaze is intense. Matteo’s is tired and unwary)

Trixie: For a droopy guy, you sure are hard to read.

Matteo: I’m not a book…

Trixie: I meant… mind reading. Psychic stuff.

Matteo: Oh… uh… I knew that.

(Matteo glances at Surge, who is looking more and more irritated with each passing moment. Matteo looks worried. He doesn’t want to upset Surge… OR mess up the chance Grace lost for him)

Matteo: Um… I’m sorry Trixie…

(Matteo pulls his hand backwards as to shove Trixie. Trixie just gasps and points the other way)


Matteo: (somberly) You know... I'm not just a stupid moron. I have feelings... You don't have to trick me like that, you could have just asked nicely.

Trixie: Oh my gosh, Matteo. I'm so sorry. ... Can you t