This was it. The moment Richie had been psyching himself up for. It would surely go down in history as a giant success or a horrendous failure. Either way, one goal needed to be achieved.
Richie had to tell Eddie that he loved him.
Which he could do. Right? There was nothing scary about telling your best friend who you have known since 2nd grade that you are madly in love with him. Especially if that best friend has never once said they are into guys but you have a sneaking suspicion those lingering looks at you might mean something more.
Then again...he could just be staring at how dumb your four-eyed face looks, or how skinny and unattractive you are. It’s unclear.
Richie was waiting for Eddie at their apartment. They were supposed to go out for dinner with their friends and celebrate his birthday. Richie had it all planned out, which was a surprise as he never planned anything. They would go to the restaurant, have an amazing time, then head to a bar to dance a lot, both of them getting fairly drunk - but not too drunk so they remember the next day - and when they got home, they would sit to watch a movie and Richie would tell him everything.
If it went well, he would give Eddie his birthday gift with a special card. If it backfired, he would burn the card and go to Beverly’s but hopefully, it would not.
Richie heard the door open, “Hey Rich? You ready to go? We are supposed to meet everyone soon.”
“Yeah! One second!” Richie threw on his nicest jeans and a button up shirt that Eddie bought him. He looked in his mirror and took a deep breath. He could do this. Nothing to be scared of. He glanced around his room for the birthday gift, but it was nowhere to be seen. Richie swore he left it on...the kitchen counter. Oh no.
“FUCK!” He ran into the kitchen and saw Eddie reading a card. The card from the gift. “Eds, don’t read that!” Richie made a grab for it but Eddie ducked away from him scanning the letter at lightning speed. Richie draped himself around Eddie, desperately trying to snatch the letter back. “Eds! Please stop!” Richie’s heart was racing, his whole body shaking with nerves. There was a ringing in his ears.
“Rich…” Eddie said softly as he turned in Richie’s arms, still clutching the letter. “What does this mean ‘Now that you know I have been in love with you forever’?”
“You couldn’t have just waited to open it.”
“Like you always fucking do this Eddie. Get ahead of yourself and open gifts before they are given to you. Fucking every Christmas, you open your gifts before I have even woken up and…”
“Richie, will you just stop and explain…”
“I had this whole plan on when and how I was going to tell you. Then you fucking ruin it and I was going to tell you that you are the most important person in my life. I was going to say how you make me a better person. We were going to talk about if you felt the same way and where to go from here….” Richie’s traitorous mouth was revealing everything a mile a minute. “I was going to say how I wake up every day thinking about you and go to sleep every night still thinking about you. I planned to say how you deserve every bit of happiness the world can give you and that I want to be one of the things that makes you happy.” His eyes start to water but he ignores the oncoming tears. “And I was going to say that I am in love with you, Eddie Kaspbrak. But it’s all ruined now.”
Eddie stared back, shocked into silence. He still held the card tightly but his eyes were trained on Richie. Slowly, he took a step forward.
Richie took a step back. “I don’t want pity right now. We have to get to your fucking party.” Eddie still didn’t say anything as he took another step forward and Richie countered it with a step back. They continued this dance until Richie’s back hit the wall and Eddie was only a couple inches away.
He gently placed a hand over Richie’s chest, spreading his fingers across the shirt. Then he took his other hand and placed it behind Richie’s neck. This was it. He was going to hug him and say they should remain friends. Just great. Richie fucked everything up.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realize Eddie was getting on his toes and bringing Richie’s face down closer. They were a breath apart before Richie realized what was happening. Then their mouths met but neither moved their lips. There was too much shock and bewilderment from Richie to possibly return the kiss.
Eddie pulled away in confusion. “I’m sorry! Was that the wrong thing to do? I just...you were talking so fast and crying and I just wanted to…”
Humiliation flared up in Richie. “Wanted to what? Show that you feel sorry for me? ‘Wow, my best friend has been in love with me this whole time so now I need to pity kiss him to shut him up’ .”
“Richie! That’s not it! I don’t pity you...I just I...it’s a lot to process and I think we should talk about it later.” Eddie’s kind eyes were tearing up too. It immediately clenched Richie’s throat and broke his heart.
“How about, we don’t talk about it at all.” Richie felt himself going numb, completely shutting down as he stared determinedly at the floor. Eddie started to reach for his hand but he walked away from the wall, grabbed his coat and went out the door.
Eddie eventually caught up with him, his arm brushed Richie’s and he flinched away creating an arms length distance between them. Richie needed to get it together. He had to fake that he was fine to all his friends. Even though everything was far from fine.
They walked in silence for a while, both caught in their thoughts. Finally, Eddie huffed out, “How did you fucking know though?”
Richie’s feet froze in place. It took Eddie a moment to realize he had stopped. He made his way back to Richie hesitantly.
“How did I fucking know that I loved you? Oh, I don’t know, somewhere between knowing you are the only person who puts up with me unconditionally and the fact you are the cutest human alive.”
“No Richie, not...god…” He was blushing extremely red. He always blushed when Richie called him cute. It seemed like the only sign he needed that Eddie may like him back. But he doesn’t. “How did you know I was gay?”
Richie blinked at him a couple times, then started chuckling. The chuckling became laughter and the laughter became almost shrieking. He was going hysterical. This day wasn’t real. It had to all be a dream. A shitty nightmare. Richie wiped away the tears as he looked at Eddie’s lobster red face.
“What is so fucking funny?” Eddie snapped.
“Just this. Us. The situation.” Richie could barely contain his ridiculous, exaggerated mirth.
Eddie crossed his arms defensively, “Ok, but so you have just known I am gay this whole time and never said anything?”
“I had suspicions. But I loved you because I love the person. Sexuality didn’t occur to me when telling you. I just hoped you might feel the same.” Richie started walking again but Eddie was not following him. He took a couple more steps then backtracked. “Come on, we are going to be late.”
“What if…” Eddie breathed in and out, “I’ve been in love with you too.”
Richie’s heart skipped a beat. “Don’t joke. It’s not a fucking joke with me.”
Eddie’s eyes meet his steadily, he held his gaze for several long seconds, “It’s not a joke, Richie. I am in love with you, too.” They watched each other carefully like one wrong move would scare off the other.
Then at the same time, they surge forward. Lips crashed into each other desperately. It hurt how hard their lips smacked together, but they didn’t care. The kiss was frantic and needy. Eddie’s hands were running through Richie’s hair as he pushed his head impossibly closer. Glasses going askew. His tongue stroked across Richie’s lip and they parted for him immediately. Richie’s hands were on his hips, closing any possible distance with their bodies.
Their tongues battled and explored each others' mouths. They had known one another for so long, but this felt like meeting a complete stranger. Eddie was so excited while Richie worried he would go catatonic. They pulled away to look at each other.
“I love you.” They said at the same time then laughed.
“I’m sorry I ruined your plans to tell me tonight,” Eddie said breathlessly, a giggle escaping his mouth. He moved his hand from Richie’s hair to his cheek. “I’ll make it up to you.”
“It’s your birthday, it’s my job to make this day about you.” Richie kissed his swollen and shiny lips lightly.
“You better.” Eddie teased as he took Richie’s hand so they could keep walking.
The rest of the night was filled with longing glances, secret touches, and a make-out session in the bathroom of the bar. They didn’t feel the need to tell their friends tonight. It would get out soon enough. Tonight was about them.
They couldn’t keep their hands off each other as they got back to their apartment. Eddie was kissing Richie’s neck as he tried to unlock the door. He was doing this thing with his tongue, swirling it around and around. Richie told him he was ready to devour him in the middle of their hallway.
“That would be a nice punishment for our shitty neighbors.” Eddie mumbled against his neck.
When he got the door open and pulled Eddie inside, Richie pinned him against the doorframe. “Oh my fucking god, this doesn’t feel real.”
“Shut up, it is fucking real.” That was all the proof Richie needed apparently. He swooped his head down and kissed Eddie gently. They wanted to savor each minute of this. Something they had imagined for so long. Eddie took off Richie’s coat and dropped it on the ground. Then started work on his own, never breaking their kiss.
Richie cupped his face as Eddie unbuttoned his shirt. As soon as his cold hands hit Richie’s skin, he shivered. He ran his hands up and down his sides feeling every natural lump and unevenness of his stomach and waist. Richie felt super exposed. He teased his fingers at the bottom of Eddie’s shirt, Eddie raised his arms and broke the kiss so the shirt could be torn off.
Eddie leaned in allowing their bodies to flush together and Eddie could feel how hard Richie was already, “Richie, I need to tell you something.”
“What’s up? Do you want to stop?” He brushed a thumb over his cheek making Eddie’s eyes flutter.
“No! I want you, I need you.” Richie let out a moan at those words. “I’ve never had sex.”
“That’s ok. We don’t have to…”
“Richie, please…” He said with an earnest desperation. “I want too. I just also wanted to be honest with you.”
“Ok. That’s ok.” Richie hugged him tightly. Eddie buried his face in his chest. They hugged for a bit then Richie led them to Eddie’s room. “Do you want to be top or bottom then?”
“I...Richie...you can’t just…” Eddie’s face flushed and he averted his eyes.
“Hey, I have to ask. Cause then I gotta clean up down there. Like I’m readyish to be fucked but gotta know what you prefer.”
“I’m already ready.” Eddie whispered embarrassed.
“You are?!” Richie smiled teasingly at him then his stomach dropped. “Who were you planning to be fucked by?”
“Stop! I wasn’t! I just…” Eddie sighed defeatedly. “I was going to ask you to hook up tonight.”
Richie’s heart practically soared, “No way…the explains all the fiber you’ve been eating.”
“Beep beep, Richie. But yeah, I wanted my first time to be with someone I really care about and as you know well I...I love you. But I was going to be sneaky about it and say it could be a one night stand.”
“I would not have settled for a one night stand with you. Trust me on that.” Richie kissed him deeply.
“I figured.” Eddie giggled into his mouth. Eddie quickly got them on the bed. They were really going to do this. Eddie could barely breathe from how overwhelming everything turned out to be.
“Ok, get naked and I will grab stuff.” Richie scrambled off the bed, almost hitting himself in the face in his rush. Eddie just laughed as he took off his tight pants, throwing them haphazardly to the ground.
He laid there for a bit, forcing his heart to stop racing. Everything was going to be fine. Richie knew what he was doing. Richie loved him. He could do this.
“Wow.” Eddie shifted his head to the side, Richie was in the doorway staring at him like some kind of greek god. “You’re so gorgeous.”
Eddie blushed violently, “Shut up.”
“I’m serious.” He made his way over, placing the lube and condom on the side table then laid next to Eddie. “You are everything, Eds.”
His words were too much, so Eddie silenced him with a powerful kiss. He unfastened Richie’s jeans with shaky hands, biting and nipping at his lips. They got his pants off and Eddie kissed him one more time before turning over.
“Where are you going?” Richie laughed as he kissed the back of Eddie’s neck.
“Easier for you to...ya know.” Eddie pulled down his underwear, his half-hard erection springing free. Then got on his hands and knees, and sunk down to press his elbows into the bed. He arched his ass into the air.
“Fuck me.” Richie whispered.
“No Richie, fuck ME.” They both laughed at that. Richie kissed both cheeks, sending shudders all over Eddie’s body.
He popped open the lube and Eddie heard the noise of him warming it up in his hands. Eddie took a deep breath. This wouldn’t be a completely new feeling, he had fingered himself before. Except this was Richie. Everything would feel different.
Richie separated his cheeks and placed the tip of his finger over his hole. Eddie bit his lip to prevent any noise from coming out. Then the finger went a slow and rubbed lightly. He let out a moan, pushing back a little into the touch.
“Does that feel good?” Richie asked cautiously. Eddie hummed his approval. He pushed his finger in until it was at the knuckle then pulled out. He repeated this a few more times but it was clear Eddie could take a second finger. When he inserted another, Eddie let out a long groan. “You sound so hot, baby.” Richie said in a low voice.
This turned Eddie on more as he rocked himself back on Richie’s finger. “Rich, come one. More.”
“Anything for you, Eds.” Richie pumped him a few more times then added a third finger. Richie scissored and searched for Eddie’s prostate. Once he hit it, Eddie cried out his name. He kept hitting that spot over and over, and Eddie was worried he would come right there. “You’re so tight. I just want to take you now.”
Eddie looked behind him into Richie’s darkened, lust filled eyes. “Do it.” He challenged, his breathing husky. Richie nodded as he took off his own briefs. Eddie watched him, still on his hands and knees. When his dick was free, it was red and leaking already. He also was not small in any capacity and that made Eddie’s tongue water.
Before he could stop himself, he turned around and pushed Richie onto his back. He kissed quickly down his chest, stomach, and then the tip of his dick. “Eddie...ah,” He licked the underside then wrapped his hand around it to steady the member. He fit his mouth over the tip, swirled his tongue around then took it in inch by inch. His wet mouth must have been doing wonders to Richie as he withered and had trouble staying still. Eddie held his hips as Richie let out a “Fuck.” Then Eddie began bobbing his head feeling himself get off at pleasuring Richie.
‘Eddie stop, gonna...cum!” Richie pushed him off gently. “You can’t do that to someone who’s been imagining a blow job from you since they were 15.”
“Sorry, I’ve wanted to do that since we were 15 too.” Eddie laughed lightly. Richie maneuvered them so Eddie was on his back, he tucked a pillow under him to raise his hips. Richie grabbed the condom, putting it on.
“You sure you want to do this?”
“Just tell me it’s too much and we can stop.”
“I love you.”
Eddie smiled at him sweetly, “I love you, too.”
Then Richie was slicking up with lube. He thrust his fingers a few more times into Eddie, just in case. Settled on his knees, pulled Eddie’s legs up and around him, then slowly sunk in.
Eddie tried to stay relaxed as Richie stilled, allowing him to adjust, then kept going until he bottomed out. They both moaned and Eddie hissed out, “Move babe.”
This ignited something in Richie as he started moving with vigor. Eddie scrunched up his face at the burn, he was so full. Fingering could not prepare him for this feeling. Every thrust was deliberate and almost animal. They had both wanted this for so long. Needed each other and wasted so much time. It was an unimaginable experience. Eddie was letting out, “Uh uh uh’s” While Richie’s breathing got way more erratic.
Eddie was pretty sure they both weren’t going to last very long. He looked up at Richie and held his gaze. So many emotions passed through his face. Suddenly, there were tears in his eyes. “Richie,” He said with concern, “Why are you crying?” Richie kept moving just shaking his head. Eddie adjusted, with some difficulty, so he could come up and kiss him. “Please…don’t cry.”
“It’s just,” He slowed down, each stroke becoming gentle. He stared back at Eddie. “I’m with the love of my life. It’s a lot.”
Eddie’s always had a hard time not crying when others do, a conditioning he’s tried to break. But in this moment, he cried too. Because he felt all the same wonderful feelings Richie was. What was better than being with the person you love most in the world?
Eddie reached for him, so Richie came forward and they hugged. Richie stilling inside him was uncomfortable but Eddie ignored it. They kiss and he continued to move, taking Eddie’s erection in his hand. Making love to him. Between the emotions of being together and the pure intimacy they felt, the two rode out their orgasms with tears still in their eyes.
After they cleaned up, got in pajamas and laid in bed together, they wrapped themselves around each other. Giving soft kisses and saying they loved one another until sleep finally took them.