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You Are The One I've Been Looking For

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Yoongi is Death. And he lives alone. 

It’s not that he doesn’t want a roommate, or a friend, or a romantic significant other or even a pet. It’s just that nothing living can really be around him for too long, and god forbid they touch him. Or he touches them.

His family had practically estranged themselves from him when his power manifested, and he can’t say he blames them. Remembers how the flowers in his house had withered at his touch. Remembers how his brother almost died when Yoongi had lived with him for over a year.

He realized then that not only was he not able to touch others, people can’t be around him for too long either.

At least his parents still supported him through his education. And he does skype his brother occasionally.

Needless to say, it’s hard to live a normal social life.

He makes sure to wear long sleeves, gloves, caps, and masks just to minimize contact from people if he had to go out, even in the summer.  School had been difficult, but he’s glad that his work now doesn’t require for him to be around people for too long.

That’s not to say that he doesn’t have any friends though.

“Hey Hobi.” Yoongi greets as Hoseok’s face fills the screen.

“Yoongi-hyung!!” Hoseok greets happily and just seeing that beaming smile on Hoseok’s face has his own lips responding with a smile of his own. Yoongi settles down further into the chair as Hoseok starts to tell him about his day.

He remembers meeting Hoseok for the first time, bumping into him in college when he was on the way to get his morning coffee. He’d just gotten through finals and craving caffeine so he hadn’t been too alert and almost fell to the ground.  

And then he realized that there was a hand around his wrist, right where his sleeve didn’t quite meet his glove. He had one second of complete horror and panic before his brain processed the fact that the guy wasn’t crumbling into ash.

“Whoa, dude you okay? You look like death.” Yoongi coughed to stop the hysterical laugh threatening to burst out. The guy was still holding him and he could feel his brain melting in panicked confusion.

The guy pulled him up and straightened Yoongi’s jacket. “Right as rain. Be careful, okay?”

He turns to leave with one final pat to Yoongi’s shoulder.

“How are you not dead?” Yoongi blurts out before he could stop himself. He’d never thought there could be such a scenario and he suddenly realized that he doesn’t want to let him go without knowing.

The guy stops and stares back at him inquisitively, frowning a little in confusion.

“…Why would I be dead? You only bumped into me.” The guy chuckled nervously, but Yoongi could tell that he was making up scary scenarios in his head from how wide-eyed and pale he suddenly got.

“Are you an assassin sent after me?!” The guy shrieks before Yoongi could try to explain, getting into some complicated looking martial art pose. “I have to warn you, I have a black belt in taekwondo!”

Yoongi couldn’t help the laugh that came out.

Why would a… nevermind. That’s not important. It’s just… I’m… Death.” Yoongi tries to explain, waving a hand in the air awkwardly as he wheezes. The guy seemed to understand though, eyes suddenly intense as he looked Yoongi up and down, cataloging the excessive cover in bright daylight.

And then he suddenly grinned.

“Hi Death, my name is Hoseok and I didn’t die because I’m Life.” Hoseok stuck out his hand, and it’s Yoongi’s turn to stare, noting the exposed skin, the latent energy and warmth he seemed to be exuding just standing there. And the ugly sports shoes.

“Nice to meet you, my name’s Yoongi.” Yoongi smiled tentatively back, taking Hoseok’s hand in his. But Hoseok frowned and clicked his tongue. Slipped his finger into the hem of Yoongi’s glove and smoothly pulled it off.

“That’s better. You won’t have to worry about touching me.” Hoseok smiled and gripped Yoongi’s hand again as they shook properly. Hoseok’s skin is calloused but warm against Yoongi’s own clammy one.

For the first time since he could remember in a long time, Yoongi had felt alive.

He found out that Hoseok had been searching for a place and it was a no-brainer. He moved in with Yoongi the next day. They had a good run until Hoseok met his boyfriends and moved in with them instead.

Yoongi misses him terribly.

“How’s Namjoon and Jimin by the way?” Yoongi grins when Hoseok lights up – even more than he already is if that was possible – and excitedly tells him about how his boyfriends are at the beach enjoying themselves.

“You’re not going to enjoy it with them?” Yoongi asked, feeling a little guilty for taking up Hoseok’s time when he could be off playing with his boyfriends.

“Nah, I’ve had enough of the beach. Sand just gets everywhere.” Hoseok shudders, and it prompts Hoseok into a rant, which then segues into their activities from the last time he checked in with Yoongi and it lulls Yoongi into a false sense of security. He’s almost dozing off, almost dropping into a zen state when there’s a pause in Hoseok’s pleasant rambling.

Yoongi blinks into alertness, taking note of how nervous Hoseok suddenly looks.

“You okay?”

“I have a favor to ask of you,” Hoseok starts slowly, already pulling out the pouty lips.

Damn him.

“Out with it.” Yoongi sighed because he’s weak to cute things.

“Well, I have this friend who’s moving back to Seoul from Australia,” Hoseok replied, brightening back up and Yoongi nods, shifting closer to the screen so that he could better leech off the excess energy and warmth Hoseok exudes through the screen.

Not like he could actually do that, but placebos exist in the world for reasons. Not that he begrudges Hoseok’s dream of traveling the world with his boyfriends, he just wished he would visit more often. 

“So I was wondering if you would be okay with that.” Hoseok paused, looking at Yoongi expectantly and Yoongi didn’t want to admit that he hadn’t been listening. Yoongi blinked, trying to think of an excuse and Hoseok sighed at the look on his face.

“You weren’t listening, were you?”

“I…” Hoseok had that disappointed look that did things to Yoongi’s ability to bullshit. “Yeah, I wasn’t listening, sorry.”

Hoseok sighed, but then looked sheepish. That does not bode well for Yoongi. Usually, he would whine about Yoongi ignoring him but if he wasn’t mad, then the favor he’s asking for must be serious.

“As I was saying, I have a friend moving back to Seoul, and I know that you’re against having a roommate – just hear me out okay? – so I was wondering if he could crash at your place first?”

“Hobi,” Yoongi sighed. He doesn’t want to get into this topic again.

“It’s only for a little while!” Hoseok insists, eyes wide and pleading. “Just until he gets his feet back under him, y’know?”

Yoongi is very adamant about not having roommates since Hoseok left. He just couldn’t be bothered to search for another one. Unless there was someone else like Hoseok, there would be no point in having a roommate so Yoongi would just have to deal with living alone. He earned enough to afford it after all.

He did it before Hoseok and is perfectly fine without him now.  

But Hoseok also knew that Yoongi had a soft spot for people who just needed a breather to get going again. Yoongi wonders when exactly it was that he got soft. He used to be able to say no before. He’s pretty sure there had been a time.

“…One year max.” Yoongi mutters, rolling his eyes at Hoseok’s excited squealing.

"Okay, so his name is Kim Seokjin, and he's older than you so you better be polite and not curse him out the first time –," Yoongi rolled his eyes. " – you see him. He’s an actor and just completed a stint out in Australia. But a few complications came up regarding his passport so he decided that it’d just be better for him to come back to Korea.”

“It’s pretty complicated and last minute, but he doesn’t want to crash with his brother and his pregnant wife, doesn’t want to disturb them y’know?” Hoseok rambles on and Yoongi nods, he could understand that. He also doesn’t miss the fact that Hoseok hadn’t mentioned parents.

“But well, since he’s been in Australia for quite a while, he’s kinda gotten out of touch with the rest of his friends and I am… not in an ideal position to help him myself.” Hoseok grinned sheepishly and Yoongi snorted at that. Hoseok was traveling the world. It’d be a long time before he’d come back to Korea.

And his sister was house-sitting for him in the meantime.

“He’s pretty well-known, so I’m sure he’d find a job real quick,” Honestly Yoongi didn’t really care about that but it’s good to know he supposes. “He just needs time to find a good place. You know how difficult it could be in Seoul.”

Hoseok finishes and they stare at each other for a moment.

“I’ve already said yes,” Yoongi points out, “You don’t have to convince me.”

“Right, I just… I’m just really glad you agreed.” Hoseok smiles bashfully and Yoongi wants to melt.

He misses him so much.

“Are you really sure it’d be okay?” Yoongi blurts before he could swallow the words down. Meeting new people has always been a cause of anxiety for him, especially if they tried to get too close. Meeting Hoseok had been like finding a needle in a haystack.

He doubts he could find someone like him again.

Hoseok levels him with a look that Yoongi wants to curl away from; that look that said that Hoseok didn’t know whether he wanted to coo at Yoongi or slap him up the head.

He can't help but worry, because it's been a while since he had a roommate, and the thought of accidentally killing him is a real problem. He's so used to living alone now that he might forget not to touch him, even if it’s just a brush.

“I promise it’d be okay, hyung,” Hoseok says after a moment of consideration, serious. It’s reassuring to hear. Hoseok knew the effect he had on others, and how anxious it made Yoongi about accidentally killing anyone, and if Hoseok says it’d be okay, then it’d be okay. He wouldn’t have asked Yoongi if he thought his friend would need more time than Yoongi was willing to give.

“Honestly, I think he’d be perfect for you.” Hoseok shrugged, continuing before Yoongi could ask what he meant. “I’ll let him know now, so I’ll see you later hyung!”

"See you later, Hobi." Yoongi smiles as Hoseok waves goodbye enthusiastically before ending the call. He’ll ask Hoseok what he meant the next time he sees him.

I think he’d be perfect for you.

Yoongi is Death. And he lives alone.

XXXXXX

He meets Jin and at first he hates him.

Jin is loud, and bright and obnoxious, inviting himself to Yoongi’s time and space as though he belonged there. It grated on his nerves, jerking back every time Jin hovered too close.

He’s watching Jin arrange throws and small pillows Yoongi didn’t know he even had in the living room and trying not to kick him out immediately when Jin stops and turns to him.

“Thanks, by the way, for this. I know that you don’t really want a roommate.” Jin said quietly and Yoongi’s irritation just melts away.

“To be clear, I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for Hobi. And it’s not like I’m letting you stay here for free.” Yoongi felt the need to point out.

"Oh, of course," Jin nodded seriously, though Yoongi felt like he was being humored. "Wouldn't want to disappoint Hobi."

“You ever seen that disappointed moue? That shit made Namjoon cry.”

“Namjoon cries easily,” Jin points out but Yoongi ignores him.

“Don’t underestimate the disappointed moue.” Yoongi shook his head, and really, Jin should be thankful that he was kind enough to give him a warning. “It can bring a man to his knees.”

“I’m pretty sure Hoseok isn’t interested in anyone other than Joonie and Jiminie getting on their knees.”

“Gross.” Yoongi made a face and left Jin to his squeaky laughter.

Which he determinedly does not find cute.

He also doesn’t admit that the addition to his living area makes it cozier than it was and he says nothing when Jin inadvertently catches him using one of the fleece blankets while he was watching a late night movie and has to tolerate the smug smile Jin gives him the entire week after.

“Well, aren’t you just the sweetest ball of sunshine this morning,” Jin’s voice trickles through the dense molasses of Yoongi’s mind as he shuffles into the kitchen. Jin, frustratingly, is also a morning person like Hoseok. Though he looks like a normal grouchy person in the morning compared to Hoseok’s chipper self.

Like he doesn’t actually want to wake up early but somehow does anyway.

Yoongi grunts as he gathers whatever energy he could scrounge up to throw up the middle finger in the direction of Jin’s voice. He could practically see Jin rolling his eyes through his closed eyes.

“I have to say, I’m impressed you’re navigating so well around the kitchen for someone with their eyes sealed shut.”

“It’s my kitchen,” Yoongi grunts, sighing in happiness as he reaches the coffee pot. “Of course I’d know where things are.”

"Says the one who didn't know where the extra blankets were."

"For the record, I hadn't even known I had any extras," Yoongi takes a sip of coffee and sighs as it slowly spreads warmth through his veins. He heard Jin give an offended gasp.

“You knew I was coming and didn’t even bother to check if you had extra blankets?” Jin complained, but Yoongi knew he was just being dramatic. “Say goodbye to the bath bombs you like so much.”

“Touch them and your luxury towels will be a pile of ashes,” Yoongi scowls, cracking his eyes open to see Jin staring at him. A slow smile blooms on Jin’s lips and Yoongi blinks in surprise.

“Finally got those pretty eyes to open,” Jin beams, eyes scrunching up with how happy he is and Yoongi is just… bewildered. What?

“Anyway, I made some spicy pancakes, wanna give it a try?” Jin held up a plate of seemingly innocent looking pancakes, except for the weird red color, towards him and it successfully distracts him.

“What do you mean by ‘spicy’ pancakes?” Yoongi narrows his eyes suspiciously, squinting even more when Jin tries to shrug nonchalantly.

“It should just taste a little spicy instead of the usual sweetness. I was reading about pancakes the other night and thought it sounded good so I tried to make some.”

“… Have you tried it already?”

“Of course, I’m not an evil scientist trying to poison you.” Jin huffs, offended but Yoongi ignores him. He still remembers the botched attempts at a savory jelly and spinach muffins that were more vegetable than muffin.

He’s learned not to automatically open his mouth to eat whatever it is Jin cooks up when he’s in an experimenting mood.

“Will you try it or not?” Jin pouts and dangles a fork towards him.

Either way, Jin seems fine so it should be fine. Right?

“… Sure.” Jin beams at that but Yoongi is distracted by the hand coming closer, brandishing the fork happily. Too close for comfort.

“And put that down, I’m not going to take it from you.” Yoongi snaps, frowning at the offending thing.

“Alright, fine. Jeez.” Jin puts the fork down but stays, watching Yoongi expectantly. Yoongi carefully cuts a small portion from the side and carefully puts it in his mouth as he watches Jin back.

Chews slowly and cautiously.

Swallows.

“Jin-hyung.”

“Yes?” Jin was leaning forward, anticipating.

“What did you put in them?” Jin’s smile falters a little at Yoongi’s tone.

“That hot sauce Hobi sent from Hawaii. And gochujang paste.”

“Right. Okay.” Yoongi closes his eyes and breathes through his nose. Pinches the bridge and prays for strength and patience.

And then breaks.

“SPICY PANCAKES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MADE WITH SPICES, NOT HOT SAUCE!” Yoongi yells as his mouth burns and Jin is lucky his vision is blurred by all the tears or he’d be choking him right now. As it is, he’s practically sobbing with relief when his hand finds a carton of milk conspicuously sitting there on the counter.

“But where’s the fun in that?” Jin pouts, poking at the remaining pancakes. “Is it really that hot?”

How can you not taste that? Are your taste buds dead?” Yoongi gasps in between gulps of milk.

“Don’t be mean, Yoongi. I just have a stronger constitution than you.” Jin frowns and nudges the carton of milk away in utter pettiness.

“I don’t know why I even bother to help you taste test,” Yoongi groans, reaching out and cradling the carton to him.

“For the free food.”

“But at what cost?” Yoongi groans and shows him the middle finger when Jin laughs.

“You say that but we both know you love my cooking, experiments or not,” Jin says snootily, the soft smile on his face at odds with his haughty tone.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, hyung,” Yoongi mutters a beat too late, gulping down more milk to cover his face as Jin laughs again.

XXXXXX

Since he is sort of death in human form, it’s actually difficult for him to get sick. But not impossible.

Viruses and the like dies before they can even think to attack his cells but that doesn’t mean that he’s impervious to all. It just means that when he does get sick, it hurts beyond anything that doctors could help with.

Usually, he just has to let his body kill the virus on its own.

When Hoseok lived with him, Hoseok used to help him put wet towels on his forehead, to change his clothes and bathe him. Would hold him tight as he goes through the nightmares, and speed up the recovery process.

There were times, of course, when Hoseok might not be around to help him. But even then, Jimin would sing him to sleep, giving him relief from the nightmares even if he couldn’t comfort him physically. Since he was a mermaid, it gave his voice a certain level of healing property.

Namjoon would always make him a cup of medicinal herbal tea and fret. If Jimin wasn’t around, he’d talk until his voice got hoarse with it, even then he’d continue to talk until it started to really hurt. He didn’t have the healing magic that Jimin had but his voice helped Yoongi know that there was someone there with him. 

In really terrible cases, Yoongi might allow them to shoot water at him to cool him off but he would never allow either of them to put a towel on him. It was too risky.

But now none of them are with him, and he thinks this is the first time he truly felt alone.

“I have to say, I didn’t think you were capable of being sick.” Jin’s voice warbles from the doorway of Yoongi’s room and Yoongi groans as the sound grates at his brain. He doesn’t respond, curling up tighter as the fever burns and he thinks he might be crying.

He feels fingers brushing against his bangs, and he tries to protest – no one should touch him, especially not Jin – but he’s so exhausted, delirious with the pain that he isn’t even sure if he’s in the right reality. He thinks he hears his name being called but he’s already slipping back into the darkness.

The last thing he hears is soft singing.

Yoongi wakes up feeling better than he thought he would and blinks a little when he realizes that there’s a towel over his forehead. He panics, throwing back the covers and almost hurling himself out of bed until he realizes that he could hear noises in the kitchen.

Which meant that Jin should still be alive because no one would be awake at – he squints at the clock – ass o'clock in the morning other than Hoseok or Jin and he’s pretty sure Hoseok wouldn’t have been able to make it here so fast from where he’s gallivanting at Hawaii.

He frowns down at the now dry towel in his hand and thinks that it must have been incredibly lucky that Jin had managed to put it on him without touching him. Especially when there was no reason for him to think that it would be wrong to touch him. He’s also glad that the illness this time isn’t as bad as usual for some reason. It usually took him a few days to get it through his system, yet it only lasted a night this time.

He must be lucky this time round.

“Are you feeling better, Yoongi?” Jin asks the moment Yoongi shuffles into the kitchen, looking up from where he was eating cereal and reading something on his tablet. Yoongi nods, slumping into the opposite chair in relief. Jin’s alive and well. Nothing to worry about.  

He’s about to thank him for the towel when Jin points to the pot sitting on the stove.

“I bought some soup for you if you’re up to it?” But he’s already gotten up and ladling some of it into a bowl for him. Yoongi’s too tired to argue.

“Here, eat. You need to gain what little strength you originally had back.” Yoongi snorts but doesn’t protest as Jin slides the bowl over to him. It smells good, and he thinks he might be salivating. It’s his favorite chicken soup.

He might be in love.

Yoongi barely even has the spoon in his grip before it’s taken from him.

“You’re taking too long,” Jin snaps, and Yoongi blinks. Jin sounded like nothing Yoongi ever heard; he fought with Jin before, and Jin does sound angry, but also… like he was scared? He sounded angry, but not at Yoongi.

Jin scoops some of the soup up himself. “I’ll feed you. Open up.”

Yoongi would throw hands right now if not for how tired he is from fighting the fever; and the worried crease of Jin’s eyebrows. His eyes looked tired, as though he hadn’t gotten any sleep. He’s blowing on the soup, fingers tight around the spoon and when he brings it to Yoongi’s lips, he can’t bring himself to tease Jin for it.

He should ask about the towel, ask why Jin looked so tired, made sure that Jin hadn’t spent the whole night taking care of him. Thank him if he did and then tell him that under no circumstances should he ever do that again. 

He should.

But as he stares at Jin’s fond, expectant tired face, his mind blanks. Did it really matter? Jin is clearly alive; there was no way he could have touched Yoongi. And he rarely gets sick again so soon.

He opens his mouth and lets Jin take care of him.

XXXXXX

Jin is loud, and bright and obnoxious but he was also quiet when Yoongi needed it to be, talkative when Yoongi needed to get out of his own head. Reminded Yoongi to eat more often, and outright bullied him into eating if he ignored it. There was one time he even went out of his way to pass Yoongi’s gloves to him when he realized that he forgot and didn’t even question it.  

He moved around Yoongi and his needs so effortlessly that it baffled him.

He was perfect and Yoongi hated him for it.

Because it’d be so much harder for him to let go when the time is up.

But it really only hits him when Jin mentions that a fellow actor friend might have found a place for him.

Work had started coming in more frequently for Jin, and it's to be expected that Jin wouldn’t have the time to search for another place. Yoongi could barely begrudge him the time to relax and unwind when he does see Jin. That's the only reason Yoongi stops pestering him about it. Jin is busy becoming famous and it'd be difficult to squeeze in time to go searching.

Yoongi isn't that cruel.

“You okay, hyung?” Yoongi asks when he notices Jin standing in front of the television. He’s staring at his phone in one hand while the remote control dangles in his other hand. Yoongi usually wouldn’t really think anything of it but the fact that Jin was actively missing his favorite show was a bit concerning.

Jin startles and looks up, a complicated expression on his face before it softens to a small smile at Yoongi.

“Yeah, I’m just… I got a text from a work friend.” Jin gestures with his phone a little.

“Everything alright?” Yoongi prods.

“Oh, yeah, nothing’s wrong.” Jin looked back down at his phone. “He just told me another friend of his is looking to rent out a place and thought I’d be interested.”

Yoongi freezes and suddenly he wants nothing to do with this conversation. But running away will only make Jin come after him.

“Are you?” He manages to croak out, clearing his throat and trying to act like the news hadn’t just tilted his world a little. He’s so used to having Jin here that he can’t imagine Jin leaving. Even if he has to be more careful than he was with Hoseok.

“Well, I mean… I wouldn’t want to impose on you for so long,” Jin shrugs, a little helplessly. “You did say that I could only have a year.”

And Jin was right. He did tell Hoseok that Jin could only stay for one year. It was… something… to realize that he’s become so attached to Jin in less than a year but that’s a thought for another time.

“Yeah, I guess.” Yoongi shrugs, not sure what to make of the churning in his stomach. He just knows that he doesn’t want Jin to leave. But he put that deadline for a reason. So he clamps his mouth shut and turns away, missing the way Jin’s face falls.

XXXXXX

“How was it?” Yoongi doesn’t know why he’s asking. Doesn’t know what answer he’s hoping for.

Jin had mentioned about visiting the place to take a look last night and try as he might, he had not been able to get it out of his head the entire day. And then Jin had come home in the coat Taehyung had gifted him, the one that looked especially fancy, hair ruffled from the wind outside and looking like a full course meal.

He’d blurted out the question before his mouth could betray him and say something even more embarrassing. Like how handsome Jin looked.

“It was… good.” Jin tells him, still fussing about with his outerwear. “Decent neighborhood, good space, nice enough view considering I suppose.”

“Considering?”

“I mean, it’s a little more obstructed compared to here,” Jin gestures to the park view of Yoongi’s apartment. “But it’s understandable considering the location.”

“Right. And how’s the parking like? Is there a store nearby for your groceries? Any recreational spots nearby for you to let off steam? Is there public transport readily accessible so the others could visit easily?”

He falls silent after his mini-rant and winces at the frown on Jin’s face. The tension palpable and suffocating. Yoongi knows he’s not making sense right now. That he’s being annoying and that he should probably stop but it’s done and he can’t help it now.

So he stands up and tries to escape.

“Why are you being so difficult and nitpicky about it anyway?” Jin snapped after him, “It’s not like it would matter for you.”

But it does matter because he doesn’t want Jin to go.

Yoongi whirls around, ready to snap back, but he abruptly chokes when he almost crashes into Jin. He hadn’t realized Jin had followed after him. They stare at each other, surprised and then the worst thing happens.

Jin licks his lips.

He’s weak, okay? It was an entirely unfair move. It’s not his fault that his eyes zoomed in on Jin’s tongue and rosy lips immediately.

God, how he wants.

“Did you want to tell me something?” Jin breathed, and Yoongi snaps out of it, looking back up to Jin’s eyes, hopeful and expectant and slowly leaning in.

I think I love you.

“Yoongi?” Yoongi could practically feel the soft puff of breath against his lips. It would just take him a mere inch to press their lips together.

But he can’t.

He can’t, he can’t, he can’t.

He won’t kill Jin.

“It’s nothing. Goodnight, hyung.” Yoongi pulls away, and he swallows painfully at the confused disappointment on Jin’s face. He turns away quickly and practically runs to his room. He stands against the door in a panic, dread, and grief already churning in his gut.

He’s in love.

He’s in love.

He’s in love with Jin.

He’s gone and done the one thing he shouldn’t have.

Yoongi doesn’t sleep that night.

XXXXXX

“Hide can’t be in love with Kaneki, he’s married to Touka,” Yoongi says stubbornly, glaring at Seokjin’s face above him.

He doesn’t actually know much about Tokyo Ghoul other than what Seokjin’s told him but he does know what riles Seokjin up. They don’t talk about what happened the other day and Yoongi is determined to make whatever time he has left before Jin leaves him.

He’s already wasted time as it was, complaining and whining to a sympathetic Jungkook, who just kept piling meat and soju on him until he got so drunk he couldn’t remember how he got home.

“You’re so annoying! Clearly, Hide loves Kaneki very much, romantically and so what if Kaneki’s married to Touka? That doesn’t mean –.” Jin is in the middle of a rant when he abruptly stops, skin turning pale alarmingly fast and before Yoongi could even call out for him, he disappears in a puff of ash, and of course, the first thought Yoongi has is that he’s somehow killed him.

He’s confused, because he really thought that people would only die like that if he touched them, and he really thought Jin must have been a little more resistant to him since he hadn’t been giving off the usual signals of impending death like his brother did before.

He really hoped that he could have had more time. He didn’t think he’d lose Jin this way.

He’s in the middle of a panic attack, crying and hunched over the scattered ash when they start to swirl together and he watches in shock as Jin re-emerges from the ashes – literally – a pained inhale of breath the only indicator that anything had even happened as Jin just continues on his fucking rant.

“ – that his feelings are any less valid just because the object of his affections is attached!” Jin blinks, surprised to see Yoongi kneeling on the ground and staring up at him with tears dripping down his cheeks.

“Yoongi? Why are you on the ground?” Jin bends to pull Yoongi to his feet, worry distracting him from the topic of their latest disagreement. He starts to gently wipe the tears from Yoongi’s eyes and that only prompts Yoongi to start crying again because he really thought Jin died.

“Oh, Yoongi. Yoongichii, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Jin murmurs, pulling Yoongi into a hug. He rubs at Yoongi’s back in an effort to soothe. “Are you really that upset about Hide having an unrequited romantic love for Kaneki?”

Yoongi would have usually pulled himself away from any form of physical contact immediately but Jin somehow doesn’t start to wither away and Yoongi can’t help but press even closer.

He could see Jin’s skin at his neck and shoulder paling with the contact but then it flashes back into a healthy pink color the next second – grey then pink, grey then pink – and Yoongi just cries harder because what the fuck?

“You died,” Yoongi hiccups, because god, his mind is still trying to wrap around that before he can even think to process the fact that Jin is alive and apparently immune to him.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I should have remembered that it’d be shocking to have seen that for the first time.” Jin apologizes, pulling back to rub his thumbs over Yoongi’s cheeks. He leans in and starts peppering kisses to Yoongi’s eyelids, and Yoongi wonders if he’s actually sick and in a fever-induced dream.

It takes a while for the adrenaline to burn out, Yoongi tiredly sniffling every now and then as he slowly calms down, Jin gamely holding him in his arms the entire time and rubbing soft hands on his back and in his hair, intermittently pressing soft kisses and apologies to Yoongi’s temple.

He feels dazed; like this might have all just been a bad dream.

“What the fuck just happened?” Yoongi finally manages the sense to pull away, glaring up at Jin for an explanation. Gosh, the relief that comes just from looking at his face almost makes him forget that he should be angry.

“Oh, well, it’s my birthday,” Jin said, and Yoongi… doesn’t know what the fuck that’s supposed to mean. Other than the fact that shit, he didn’t even buy Jin a cake. And then he felt sad that Jin hadn’t bothered to tell him beforehand. Did he think that Yoongi wouldn’t have cared?

"Happy Birthday, hyung." Yoongi offers regardless. He can buy Jin a cake later.

“Thank you,” Jin replied, blinking a little. There’s a brief awkward pause as Jin stares at him.

“It’s my birthday,” Jin repeats, slowly, watching Yoongi carefully like he’s supposed to get what Jin was trying to say. He’s Death, not a mind reader. That’s Taehyung.

“Right. You said that already. Still doesn’t explain what the hell that was earlier.”

Jin sighed, a little huff that felt a little like aborted laughter. "I... uh, I go through rebirth on my birthday."

Rebirth?

“What?” Yoongi demanded and Jin looks amused.

“I’m a phoenix, remember? So I go through rebirth like once a year, on my birthday. I never know what time it’ll happen though. It’s different every time.” Jin still has a hand on Yoongi’s cheek, carefully brushing away any stray tears.

“I… didn’t know you were a phoenix.” He didn’t know they existed, he’s never heard of them before.

“Really? Hobi didn’t tell you?”

Well. Yoongi knows who he has to kill now.

His brows furrow when Yoongi shakes his head, still feeling winded from the terror of thinking that Jin had died and then the relief when Jin had come back to life crashing through his veins.

“I thought I somehow killed you,” Yoongi says quietly.

“Oh no,” Jin coos, and usually that kind of talking would irk him but Jin is holding his hands now and he’s distracted, okay.

“I thought he would have told you about me,” Jin continued, unaware of Yoongi’s murderous intentions. “He did tell me about you.”

Hold up.

“Wait, so you know I’m Death?” Yoongi gapes, and it makes sense now. How understanding Jin had been about his wardrobe choices and his aversion to touch.

“Yeah? And that you shied away from people because of it. Because you didn’t want to accidentally kill them.” Jin frowns, “That must have been really hard for you.”

He’s so sweet but Yoongi has other things on his mind. “And you’re really a phoenix?”

“Yes,” Jin confirms. He still can’t stop staring at Jin’s skin. Smoothing his hands over Jin's, again and again, to see it greying and then flash back to pink.

“So you won’t… you won’t die?” Yoongi asked quietly, entranced.

“From you?” Jin absently squeezed Yoongi, pulling him in to rub his cheek against Yoongi’s a little. “No, I don’t think so.”

“Is that what’s been bothering you? Worrying that I’d die if you touched me?” Yoongi doesn’t reply, but that’s all the answer Jin needs.

“Oh, Yoongi.” Jin sighed, pulling Yoongi even closer and shifting so that he could smush his face against Yoongi’s cheek.

“I should have said something. All that time.” Yoongi feels the whining more than he hears the words, muffled as it is against his cheek. He doesn’t have the energy to push Jin away. Doesn’t know if he even wants to.

His hands curl tight around Jin’s shoulder.

“So… now that you know, would it be alright if I extend my stay here?” Jin asked quietly, and Yoongi doesn’t know whether he wants to laugh or cry some more.

“If I had known, I would have begged you to stay.” Yoongi settles on, sighing as Jin wraps his arms snugly around him. “If I had known, I would have touched you ages ago.”

“Would you have kissed me too?” Jin asked softly, and Yoongi gathers the energy to pull back and look Jin in the eye.

“I would have kissed you a million times that day. Before that even, if you’d let me.”

Jin smiled; coy and bashful and Yoongi marvels at how he can see Jin’s lashes against his cheek this close. To see the faint blush.

“Then… Will you kiss me now?”

It would be of utmost irony if Yoongi were to die now.

“O-Okay.” Smooth. But Jin doesn’t seem to notice or mind. He leans in until their lips brush and Yoongi shivers at the feeling before Jin presses closer, and it’s soft and sweet and chaste – just the press of lips – yet it has Yoongi’s brain short-circuiting.

He’s always wondered of course, how a kiss could feel but it had never seemed like something that he could have but now he can and it’s amazing.

When they pull away, Yoongi realizes that they’ve somehow migrated to the couch. Not that it matters. He still can’t believe that they could have had this so much earlier. That he needn’t have worried so much about it.

“What have we been doing?” Yoongi sighs as he rests his head on Jin’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around Jin’s and settles his entire weight on him. He could feel Jin’s eyes on him, and he shivers at the weight of it.

“I don’t know about you, but I’ve been waiting.” Jin shrugs, jostling Yoongi’s head and Yoongi can’t believe he’s in love with an asshole.

“You’re so annoying,” Yoongi gripes as he leans back, glaring up at Jin. Jin just looks amused, giggling as he thumbs Yoongi’s pouting lips. His eyes turn hungry in the next second though, and Yoongi gulps as his hand cups Yoongi’s jaw.

“Tell me to stop,” Jin murmurs as he leans in and Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut as Jin’s lips pressed against his. It’s soft and chaste like their first kiss, but then Jin shifts, pressing against him harder and opening his mouth and then everything becomes a blur because wow.

Jin pulls back, and Yoongi stares at the grey tint to Jin’s lips. It’s gone in a second, back to its usual light pink shade and Yoongi knows that he should be grateful that he could even kiss him in the first place, but he can’t help but mourn the fact that he would probably never get to see Jin’s lips kiss-swollen and red.

“Something wrong?” Jin breathed, and Yoongi’s thoughts turn to how wrecked Jin sounds, just from kissing and well, he thinks that he’d be okay with not being able to ruin his lips if he could make Jin sound like that.

“Nah, nothing’s wrong,” Yoongi smiles and reaches out to pull Jin in again.

XXXXXX

“Yoongi-hyung!” Hoseok greets as soon as the call connects and the glare Yoongi had softened into a smile immediately.

“I heard from a little birdie that someone has a new… beau? Lover? ” Hoseok cuts in before Yoongi could say anything.

“Was it Namjoon?” Yoongi deadpans, cracking his fingers. “One of his little bird friends?”

“I did no such thing! And don’t bring my birds into it!” A muffled shriek comes from somewhere behind Hoseok and Yoongi grins as Hoseok starts laughing.

“Jimin, then,” Yoongi adds when it looked like Hoseok was calming down, and the answering squawk has Hoseok laughing again.

“But I’ll only deal with him after I deal with you.” Hoseok’s laugh abruptly cuts off and then turns to nervous chuckles.

“Whatever did I do, hyung?” Hoseok asked innocently, already deploying the puppy eyes. But Yoongi will not be swayed. Not immediately at least.

“Seems like you excluded certain information when telling me about Seokjin.” Yoongi arched his brow in the way he knew intimidated people. Not like it worked on Hoseok.

“I don’t know what you mean, hyung.”

“Don’t play innocent.”

“Yoongichii! Could you order pizza?” Jin suddenly calls out from the bedroom, voice just shy of being a whine. “I’m hungry!”

Yoongi can’t stop the laugh from bubbling out his chest, grinning even when Hoseok started wriggling his brows at him through the screen.

“Stop that. It makes you look like a creep.”

’Yoongichii? How sweet~” Hoseok coos and Yoongi shows him his middle finger as he gets up to grab the menu on the fridge and make the call. He lets Hoseok update him on his adventures after, until the door rings.

“Pizza’s here, I’ll talk to you later Hobi.” Yoongi waves, smiling.

“Go feed your man, hyung.” Hoseok laughs and waves as they cut the connection.

Yoongi gets up with a groan and pays for the pizza, raising a brow when he finds Jin already sprawled over the couch.

“I bought the one with extra cheese,” Yoongi says and smirks when Jin perks up.

“My hero,” Jin groans, stretching up to press a kiss to Yoongi’s lips lightning quick in thanks and Yoongi laughs out loud. Such a dork.

“I love you,” Yoongi murmurs, leaning down to kiss and nuzzle Jin’s cheek, and grins when Jin giggles at him.

He could get used to this.

Yoongi is Death. And he lives with a Phoenix.